Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash - #181 Adopted Life and Fake Finger Labour Support with Proud Dad Ryan Jon

Episode Date: November 2, 2025

You know Ryan as one-half of the Toni and Ryan show. He also happens to be a dad to little toddler Mabel!  From the time his partner Bridget squeezed his fake finger a bit too hard during labour to getting in trouble at school for not throwing an eraser... Ryan’s got stories. He also opens up about being adopted, meeting his biological parents for the first time, and the very risky joke Toni dropped at the family reunion. Yes, the lasagna really was really good.  Listen to Toni and Ryan podcast! https://open.spotify.com/show/5OzkclFjD6iAjtAuo7aIYt BUY OUR SMELLY T SHIRTS HERE  https://www.twodotingdads.com/category/all-products Buy our book, which is now available in-store! https://www.penguin.com.au/books/two-doting-dads-9781761346552  If you need a shoulder to cry on:  Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Matt. Ashton. Do you know what I love? Well, I know. I know you love football. You love beer. You love lingerie. I think what else have I missed?

I love sleep. You love sleep? Cross podcast integrations. Fusions. Fusions, if you will. And this week we have a very special guest from a very popular podcast. I would call him a megastar. He's a megastar.

A podcast megastar. Yeah, he's paving the way, I would say. say? Yeah, Pioneer. I love this. He's going to love this too. He is crawled through the world of podcasting so mere mortals like us can run. And walk.

And jog. And all sorts of different methods of transportation. I'm talking about Ryan John. Ryan John. It does sound like Ryan and John. Ryan John. Not Ryan and John. There's not two guys.

There's only the one. It's Ryan John who happens to be one half of Tony and Ryan. Gosh, they're just, they are dominating. What do they pump out? Five episodes a week. They're like big old, like they're wearing leather with whips just dominating the podcast world. Are you trying to turn me on what the fuck on?

You're trying to make me come, dude? What's that I'm on me? Sorry. Your eyes lit up. Whoa! What do we talk about, man? We talk about the fact that he has a fake finger, okay, because something happened when he was younger, a sporting incident, and then it was redamaged during the birth

of his child. We also talk about Ryan's biological mother, giving him up. for adoption when he was born. It was several days later that the hospital requested his biological mum returned to the hospital to give him cuddles post surgery. I think this is the first time we've had anyone on the podcast who speaks about their experience of being adopted. So this is a first for two dotting dads and it's the first time that I've been able to have a deep dive into what it's like growing up knowing that your parents aren't your biological parents. And his mom actually gave him up as an ultimate sacrifice so that he could live a life

to his full potential. And look at him now. I know. It's crazy. She actually left him a letter for him to read when he was old enough, which is really, really sweet. It's an amazing story. He also talks about meeting his biological father and connecting with his biological family. He continues to have a relationship with them.

Ash, shall we get into it? Oh, absolutely. I think you like that, big boy. Welcome back to three doting dads. I'm Maddie J. I'm Ash. And I'm Ryan. Thanks for having me.

And I come with a scandal. Oh, wow. Straight other than that. Hold that scandal. I'll be quick. It's podcast all by parenting. It's good. It's the bad.

And they're relatable. And we don't give advice. Scandal, hit me. Before the scandal, though, just want to apologize. I smell a bit garlokey. That's right. Because I'm trying to kill a parasite.

And Matt's been giving me shit about it. He fucking stinks. How do you kill a parasite? Gallic, raw garlic. Really? No, don't pass this information on to anyone. Well, I'm back to day one because it came back. Or it never went.

I don't know. I don't know. Is this like a medicine alternative? Yeah. Are we a conspiracy-adjacent show here or are we? We have on occasions been known to slag off the medical world, particularly vets. And rural doctors. But we, I got a look from TikTok at that remedy that works.

I just went with that. And Chat JVP backed it up. So I thought that's two scientific facts. Two reliable sources. Bam. I think Matt's has been a hater. Oh, yeah. Do you want him to get better or not?

Yeah. I like it when he's weak. Like, how do you get medicine? Like, he comes in and he's like... Apparently the antibiotics makes you feel way worse. I don't know that. Anyway. Scandal.

Scandal. So I said, is Laura here today? Yeah. And what did you say? She's at work. I've come from life uncut. Oh. where I did a show with Keisha and Brittany, and that was it.

She's having an affair. But I'm here. I mean, but if she's a work and I was at her work and she wasn't there, then what's the real fucking story? Well, the thing is, my wife has about 12 jobs. Right. It really works.

Yeah. So, yeah, I'm like, we would really like a new car. So if you want to get back into it, she was working at Tony May. Her jewelry. Lifely story. shop. She was there making making rings.

Does she still do that regularly? I've called. She designs. Yeah, I called her and she's an answer. Yeah, she stole my water bottle today. So we called her, she's rejected our calls. This is getting juicy. Thank you for bringing this to our attention. I smell a rat.

I'm eating. No, that's just my garlic breath. Also, thank you. We were alerted our listeners. Yep. I think how should I have crossover? There's crossover. There's crossover now.

Yeah. Fair out to Donna, Donna is Donna is, she may be a tarpa first and dode a second. It's not about, it's just where all, we're all one. Yeah, it's all fun. We're all one. And she was like, quick, listen to today's episode.

Yep. From the 22 minute mark. Yeah, to it now. You guys got half an episode today. Wow. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.

You can't buy that kind of advertising. So the rule is that you can't turn, if people have just had a baby, you can't turn up empty handed. Do you appreciate that or is it annoying after a while? Where are you at after three kids and, No, do you know what? His house is full of shit.

I will always accept food. Yeah. And I think if you are going to bring anything, I think you're always going to have a winner when you bring food with you. Yeah. Because it's just there's no better feeling they're not having to cook from scratch a meal.

So thank you. You're welcome. So we brought a lasagna from Melbourne, flew it up to Sydney, and it has been an ordeal. But Tony did her famous bechamel sauce that she makes from like scratch. What's bechamel?

That's a great. question. Can anyone help with that? Do you know a Bachelemal saucer? Yeah. It's in a... That laptop doesn't work. But Tony made it from scratch on the weekend because she was going to knit something

but then apparently for babies you can't have like big chunky knitted stuff because their fingers get stuck in it. Oh, their fingers are tough. Yeah. So we'll do a lasagna and she makes a great lasagna and she felt bad that she couldn't come up as well. So she's like, oh, I can send my love through lasagna. Yeah.

Probably poisonous. the comments about yourself like Tony is a huge ash fan oh I love that I think she said a few things on the show but it's what she says after the show and regularly it's like like this will be her scrolling like she's like you know having lunch between episodes or whatever and she goes oh jam pikeless and she's a huge and I don't like you got to take the wins wait so I'm sorry Matt that I don't have any like words from Tony to pass on to you know you guys don't I've got everything I need.

Thank you, Tony. I can confirm, and I think I mentioned before, the flight attendant, like, would not let me hold the lasagna on the flight, so made me put it in the overhead compartment. I was like, you have to put it up there. I was like, I'm not going to do that. They wouldn't, no lap.

No, because he said... What about under the seat in front? They're the rules. Well, he said it's a projectile, and he goes, it could go flying when we take off, so you've got to put it above, and I was like, and I don't know if you notice there's like, Tony wasn't generous with the foil.

Like it's a very one thin bit That's not travel for it Yeah it's not travel That's safe for later for it Yeah yeah And so like yeah like You kind of see it coming out of the sides

And whatever And I was like She left about at most Two centimeters Either side or the container And I was like I'm not not going to put it up there For me

I'm not going to put it up there For all of the other people Yeah Because they're like We came at like business o'clock So everyone's got their Briefcase and laptop bag I'm like there's going to be

Besamel sauce Whatever the fuck that is The best of the best Eschamel sauce is going to be everywhere. And then I was like, I said, I'm like, and it's actually, I think we got it on camera. So when I'll go back and look at the footage because Lil was filming me, walk down the aisle and he came up and was like, sir. But then he said, put it under the seat in front.

And then so when you take off, obviously the front goes up and then the lasagna slides back down. And so we're like, I've got my foot like trying to hold it from flying down. Lil at one stage, like I would probably look to harrowing from a few rows up because she's got her head down, like trying to hold the thing, but it ends up. her heads in my lap trying to hold this designer from sliding. And it was, it was fucking chaos. I hope you enjoy it. Do anyone say anything?

Lots. You will never be more popular than carrying a lasagna onto a plane because everyone was just, all right, if I had a dollar for every time someone went, is there enough for all of us? I would have flown first class today. So they loved it. I'm pretty sure the flight attendant at the first was like, oh, you're not allowed to take it to Sydney?

And I was like, oh, really? And she goes, yeah, you'll have to leave it with me. And then like a lot of people were real chatty And I said Someone goes, what's that for? And I said, Australia's golden couple Have had a third child.

Who's that, Maddie J? And then everyone kind of went, That's so lovely. Like I was expecting a bit of like, Strange? Oh, but if I saw someone with a lasagna, I'd be like, are you fucking serious? Oh, that's alarm bells for sure.

Yeah, I was just like, seriously? So I was kind of expecting a bit of that, but genuinely everyone was like, that's so not. And they thought I made it. That's so good. I'm like, yeah, some friends have had a baby and like, oh, they'll love that.

I'm not going out for any other reason other than to take them this lasagna. My mom is going to be so proud. Yeah, I've heard that this is your mom's energy. This is my mum's behavior. She's passing it on to the next Jan. Just like, as it goes, if it was a carbon hour, I'd be like, oh, get the fucking thing out of it.

Lanzania is. Who hates a lasagna? Anyone? I don't think so. Oh, there's a time there or I wasn't a big lasagna fan. Did you? The only thing I was concerned about is when my daughter Mabel was born, I'm like, you know, someone brought lasagna.

Oh, thank you so much the next day. Someone drops in a lasagna. And after about the eighth lasagna, you just go, fuck, I'm pretty over lasagna. And that's why I was concerned today. There's a lasagna shortage. I've been waiting since the birth of poppy. I thought I had the scandal.

No, and people are coming and they have little hampers. And in those hampers, they have some wipes and some, you know, like a little teddy. And I was kind of like looking for the lasagna. And I was like, oh. In amongst the teddy. There's none here. Like under the nappies. Not one.

lasagna at all. People, I don't know what's happened. They've gotten spooked. It's the price of the sheets. There it is. That's the real scandal. Please, for the love of God. So thank you for being the only lasagna that I've received since the both, the birth of poppy. Yeah. And how have you guys? Because I have one and it is tough. And then I think, did we speak on the phone like a year and a half ago and you were like, I think we're going to have another one? That sounds about right. Like it was a real random, because we don't like chat, but it was like one random call and you're like, oh, something about work and you go,

I think we're going to have another one. And I was like, are you fucking joking? Yeah, but do you know what? Like, obviously this is about you today, Ryan. Obviously. But I'll answer this one question. You better. Someone once told me that the jump from one to two,

or jump to one is the biggest jump of all. Yep. Then one to two is also a bigish, but a lesser jump than the first, from two to three there's a lot of jumping going on triple jump are you with me you with me ash i'm trying to keep up okay sorry but the jump from two to three it's not really jump like an extra five percent it's like it's like it's like it's half a step is it just because you're so frazzled anyway like what's a different yeah and you're so locked in your life is already over

yeah very true you've let go of all type of enjoyment outside of being a parent i just sent you on instagram it was a video of a three person child see that You just put it in like it's one seat But you fit three chipped kids in it You are welcome The three of us go in that Hey The three of us go for a cruise in that

Yeah we can fit in there Three lasagnas But yeah We're doing okay We're doing okay It is This is being something That we've been trying to make it work

Since like early days Of two doting dads Oh yeah You're a fucking hard man In a lockdown Well last time Well the first time You were sick

Oh yeah Because I was coming out here And you were like Oh quick quit quit And it was just like That was your fault. And then I know we stopped coming to Sydney because then it's... Because you didn't want to get sick.

Didn't get sick. Every time I come to Sydney, it's like for boring meetings and stuff. Yeah, Sydney's pretty like one big boring meeting compared to Melbourne. Especially like you go anywhere in Melbourne at like any night of the week and there's something happening. You know, to Sydney and it's like, everyone, lock it down. Well, I'm glad I'm finally here because it feels right. And I'm also glad to finally meet someone else who's passed out in the birth suite. because as someone who also lost consciousness,

I've always felt alone. And then knowing you're also a pansy makes me feel better. Yeah, I did it during the end here. I did it during the epidural, so it was early on. No, I think I was the same. It was, yeah, way early. And I'm just like, I've never been good with blood. Yeah, touch and go.

Like sometimes I'm like, sweet. But in that particular moment, I just remember waking up on the ground with my legs in the air and I had a juice. Legs in the air. Yeah, and a flannel over my head. And April was just being like, look at this guy. I thought that'd be nice. What do you mean?

Like the staff. No, they were nice. April wasn't nice. April was like she was being cut open. I know, yeah. And she just wanted to hold her husband's hand for support. I don't know. And you're there with three nurses and midwife and the obstetrician.

Yeah, the obstetrician took photos of me to shame me. The doctor made fun of me. I assumed when she lent over, she was going to be like, it happens all the time. Don't worry about it. But she was just like, that's so embarrassing for you. I just like kept doing what she was doing. Fair enough. What was the moment in particular?

What was the moment in particular where it made you pass out? I do think it was like epidural town or they were doing something. And Bridge was in a lot of pain. And then I've actually got a fake finger. This finger isn't real. So see that little scar down the middle of it? So when I played volleyball, I broke it like 10 or 12 times to the point where it was just like callous and cyst

and there wasn't actually much bones. They like replaced it. Because of the spiking? Is it the spiking? Are blocking. So with the other people spiking, because I'm not that tall, I've just, like, for years, just, you know, and then after 10 years, they just go, there's not much left.

We're going to have to replace it. So I've got a bit of my wrist is in there and a bit of coral. You've got wrist finger? Yeah, got wrist finger. Coral. Yeah, because it calcifies and kind of like, you know, regenerates. Did they tell you where the coral is from? A place that is not struggling with environmental issues.

Good, good answer. but they were going to use a bit of my hip but then I have a fake hip and I'm like if you want to get some bone out of there you're not going to find any. What's the fake hip from? Also volleyball I landed weird and I've got like the ball and socket

a bit broke off so it kept like falling so they just put a bit of plastic on and I was like if you go hunting for bone bone in my pen if you're hunting for bone down there you're not going to find much they said we'll take it from the risk so anyway Bridget was squeezing my hand

and so the other hands were hurting and I was just very aware that like twisting that finger could just like set off whatever's going on so I was like really nervous really and she just squeezed so hard because Bridget's strong as fuck she's like a tradie and so she's got man hands

yeah she's a winemaker so she's actually works hands on and she like she's climbing up ladders carrying barrels like she's a machine and so when she decides to squeeze my hand as hard as she can like it's almost like she squeezed the soul out of my person and that's why I was like I'm getting a bit lightheaded and then yeah I think it was epidural or they were trying to do stuff and it wasn't working

and there was a bit of blood and the squeeze and I just was like the room was going wider the room was going wider and then I just like lent back and it was like good night nurse did you hit the deck no I landed in a chair luckily but I think one of the nurses could see me going so she made sure a chair was behind me so he she was like oh this guy's a fucking gone and then so she'd like put the chair and then I kind of fell back and kind of sat in it and it made it worse because I feel like if you fall on the ground it's like oh well he's obviously like he's in trouble he's in trouble yeah but when you're just like oh it's getting to be much for me it might just sit back in the armchair and put it up and it just

yeah and so I'm just sitting there like sort of like this I don't think I was fully out but I was just like like I had 17 beers all of a sudden I hit the deck I was like on I was sort of on my knees anyway in front of April like that and I just went gone yeah that's it is it daint like obviously yeah there's someone in there Your welfare is who we need to care for at this moment. They're like, if you hit your head, like, I'm in a hospital, so I'm where I need to be. Yeah, that's, that's, that's concussion. Yeah, yeah, you don't want that.

That's some serious head trauma. Yeah, but I'm all right, I think. Yeah. So you've had two and you're, you're done now. I've had the snip, have the vasectomy. Yeah. Yeah. All good.

Because I wear one and I think, yeah, like, yeah, that's it. I think so. We're going to come back. Okay. We're just going to jump far forward when you were youngster. Yes. And we want to. know one thing about you when you're a little. Yeah, what's the most trouble that you ever got in

as a child? Oh, do you want like cheeky or like, what an asshole? Yeah, whatever, whatever comes to mind. Yeah, you can answer this way in a way that you feel fit. This doesn't paint me in a positive light, but I respect you guys. We've had people who have murdered animals. We've had people who have been arrested for stealing. Someone killed a cat. Oh, I've been arrested, but that isn't it. I didn't consider that. That's a funny one. That's been out. Take it away. I got arrested for jay walking and did a night in the tank but that's not that's not this one the most like in trouble like at school in trouble yeah so i'm like no good at science like not my area sorry and so what do kids do when it's not there that's when you start getting silly because if you're into the subject

you're into the subject especially and they put a bunsen burner in front you yeah open flame on the desk yeah and so if i'm interested or you're good at it you'll do it but it's when i just don't get it. And so I'm just going to amuse myself. So anytime I was in science, I was always like, oh, Ryan's a bit of a troublemaker. And so I got moved like to the front of, you know, they're like, come sit up the front. So keep an eye on you and that open flame on your desk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I'm sitting in the front row and someone from the back row has lobbed a rubber and it's hit the blackboard next to the teacher. And she's turned around and looked at me and just going, like, Ryan.

And first of all, I never, like, the fact that I would have utensils or anything of use is my first defense because I just, I, like, a pen, if I was lucky, never had a pencil case, no way. And so I was like, and I was like, you know I'm a piece of shit. You know I don't have stuff to throw. And she just kind of gave me this look. And then I said, I'm so embarrassed about this. I said, if I had have thrown it, I wouldn't have missed.

And I meant it as if, because I'm a really good throat, but she's taking that as like, oh, okay. Is that what you think of me? Yeah, yeah. And like saying it now and hearing it, like I went to the coordinators and got suspended and stuff. You little cunt. Yeah, exactly.

And when like the head guy, Mr Pringles is now, he goes, you know you said this. And I was like, now that you say it, I can hear it. But what I meant was, is I mean. What I meant was, Mr Pringle, I'm a good throw And I was a metre from her And I said, Mr Pringle, you've had me, like, you know, I don't have... I play volleyball, like I'm an athlete.

But you know I don't have rubbers and pencil sharpness. You know the Bunton Burner that was me. And I also did give my friend a horseshoe tattoo in the metal room by heating up a horseshoe. And he, Cali... You branded him. Yeah, Calzianc, goes, oh, don't you think it'll be cool if I like put my arm like he had his arm on it and I just went and like put it on and he like screamed for 30 seconds

and then he looked at and he goes fuck yeah oh my god has he's healed is it still permanent uh well his name's calzy mc so he's got scars all over him and i don't know which was me was there for a few years he's full of horses what a childhood wow yeah we didn't have a uniform at our school i don't know if that makes a lot more sense after what you've just heard but no school uniform yeah right didn't really wear shoes that much so how do you decide what to wear each day well that's a thing like other people ask that all the time that don't but after the third day you stop kind of giving a fuck because it's just normal so you just like end up wearing jeans and a t-shirt and whatever and it was like a pretty artsy hippie school and so like everyone was just

doing their own thing and like it was fine i've never been to school that uniform yeah we had one intrappily high intro yeah we're always like there they are stay away from them well i'm from eltham and there's two schools there's altham high which is where i went with no to form. And then there's Altham College where if you like have a kid that like is smart, like they would go there. And if not, they would go to Altham. Proper segregation. Altham College is like legit. And often like I go off from Eltham, they go, oh, really? And I got not that one. I didn't let us start of the train tracks. Yeah, yeah, exactly. You've spoken about the fact that you are adopted. Yeah. Quite a lot. Do you remember when it was

that you were first informed that your first memory of being told you were adopted? Yeah. So it's like, almost a Hollywood thing where like, you know, like the kid finds out and it's like this big moment. But the reality is for 99% of adoptees is that you just grow up knowing. And so adoptive parents have asked me like, oh, when should I tell them? And I'm like, tell them before they're old enough to understand.

It's like when you, oh, when did you take your first breath? I don't know. I just started a bit like it's just so natural. So for me it was, I just always knew. So there was never like a big reveal or a big moment because they were telling me before. There's never any wondering why.

Yeah. Yeah. And then we always used to joke about it all the time. So my mom's like a rat bag idiot in the nicest way possible. But when she is an idiot, I, that, oh, well, clearly I'm adopted because I'm not related to her. It's just a very, like, natural dialogue in the house and stuff. And so, yeah, it's just really normal. And, like, since I've, like, talked about it and post online, I've got a lot of DMs for people being like, oh, I thought I was the only one, but, like, same. Like, it was just really normal. But again, you watch movies and it just, oh, yeah, it's like, you're not my real mama. And, like, very. Did you have those moments? No, never. Really? Never said that once. Because, ooh, she is my mom in my mind. I don't know any different. And we're like pretty similar.

Did she ever say like, clean your room or I'll fucking put you up for adoption then? Wow. Like that. Like a dark really? Whoa. Whoa. I don't think so. Okay, cool.

Yeah. Good to know. She might have thought it. But I think she, they had 12 years of trying to get pregnant. Yeah. So I think anytime I was a brat, they'd probably go. happy to have you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But like my mom and dad got married when they were 21, 22 and then they were 33, 34 when I was dropped off. Yeah. And then so how old were you? Sorry. I was 10 weeks

old. Wow. So the, what happens is every year couples who aren't able to conceive for whatever reason would like apply and like, I don't know, the health department would like sign you off or go, yep, comfortable house, well, good. And so in 1987, it was a thousand Victorian couples that were like willing to adopt and there was 15 babies. And I often think of what's that movie with Gwyneth Paltrow, sliding doors or whatever? So that's like a thousand alternative lives that I like could have had just given.

Yeah, right. So I actually met someone who was in my batch like this other person that's three days older than me and he he did my will when Mabel was born. And they asked me about my family history and I was like, Oh, I don't really know medical stuff because I was adopted. And he's like, oh, me too. And he's like, oh, what year? Oh, what month?

Oh, what day? Whoa. Oh, it was St. John Anglican, blah, blah, blah, board meadows. Yeah. Holy shit, yeah. So he was three days older. Melbourne's a small place. Like, the family that adopted him were like, like Italian.

And so he's like lived in this Italian household. He's like really smart. He's a lawyer now. And I'm like, oh, you could have lived with my hippie parents in Alf. I mean, which was like a toss of the coin that day. Yeah. But so it's kind of like if you smoke, we didn't think about that too hard.

Is it like still the same, like process now, do you know? Or like, is there more to it than that? I assume there's more to it. And I think now, how do I say this delicately, that if you don't want the child, it's probably easier to not have it in the first place. Yeah. I thought you're going to say if you get,

if you adopt the child and then like there's a certain, like, grace period, like I actually don't want it. What is it where you can win the auction on a Saturday and change your mind to a Tuesday? Can you do that? The cooling off period? Yeah, there's a cooling off with adopting a child, though. Actually, there's a really good.

The foster system is now you can, like, be a foster parent to take kids on for like two-week periods. Well, I was a foster for that first 10 weeks. So maybe that's why I ended up with mum and dad because the foster parents were like, ah, God, this is all. Fuck. Something about his personality, right? I was with, from four days old to 10 weeks, I was with this family. And apparently that family had.

40 kids through over 10 years. Like, they were just like, that's it thing. The parents don't start until 10 weeks because there's the paperwork and the blah, blah, blah. So these people just took it. And you know what a newborn's like. They're up or,

and so I don't know who they are, but like, that's crazy. That's crazy. Yeah, like the patience on those people. And, like, and for what?

Yeah. Do you imagine how hard it would be after? Because you grow in attachment and you get to know them. You know, when it's like people are like, oh, really, you know, gratitude. They actually understand. Like, they feel all the gratitude.

We just say it for Instagram much, but they, get it. Yeah. Yeah. We're just like, I'm so grateful. Yeah.

So I'm really not. Mom and dad get approved like, they go, yep, we've signed off. You're approved for a child. So hopefully you get one. Two years go past. They don't hear anything.

And they get a call on the Thursday. Yeah, he's good to pick up tomorrow. And their mom goes, I can't do Tuesdays. Yeah, I record the bottom Tuesday. She goes, oh. Who is this?

And goes, okay, I guess we. let's go shopping and buy some stuff. And then mum was a school teacher. And so she goes, okay, Mr. Principal, I'm going to need maternity leave. And oh, congratulations, when? She's like, I'm leaving right now. Oh my God.

And so the principal goes in, apparently, like, mum wasn't there, but goes in to the staff meeting the next day and goes, oh, Mandy Dunn's having maternity leave. Yeah, that was quick. And everyone goes, she was here yesterday. She was not pregnant. She's faking. She's faking in.

And so just like, and I actually met a teacher that was like at that school when... At the time. Yeah, because when I first like talked about adoption, it like popped off online. So there's a lot of people going, oh, and she was like, I didn't actually get it until watching this video 30 years later. Because we just, she just disappeared one day. Everyone went pregnant. We all went, okay, see you. What are they covering up here?

Yeah. Kind of, yeah. And so they get this call and have you got a cot? No, have you got stuff? No. What are they? I don't know. He's 10 a.m tomorrow, dog.

See you then. I like that style. Yeah. It's crazy to do it. Did they give you like now that you're older? Have they given you any sort of like what it was like for them? You transitioning into the house and what that moment was like? Well, I think it was just the because as you guys know it like the pregnancy is what nine months but it can feel like five years.

Like the anticipation you just by the end, I mean we didn't have to carry the child. I can only imagine how hard it is for the mums. It gets to that point, like, 35 weeks plus where you're just like, can this kid just turn? I'm so looking forward to meeting them. My wife's really uncomfortable. Yeah. And he's here tomorrow. Like, it's just, so I think it was just the shock of like, oh, we've wanted this for so long.

And we didn't have much of a buildup. It just happened. It's nice that way, though, as well. I guess, yeah. Yeah, you're just like adapt. What's it like growing up for yourself? Like, what's your perception of being put up for adoption? Did that weigh on you in a heavy way or was it just the norm and it didn't really?

No, because my birth mom wrote a letter that was like, dear Ryan, when you're old enough to understand sort of thing. And she was from like a really rough area. It was one of eight kids and the eight kids shared like three single beds like it was and rough and rough area, drugs, crime. And she was like adamant that she wasn't going to like pass that on to the next generation. So she was actually 28 when she gave birth. to me and I grew up just assuming probably like it's probably terrible to say but I just like

assume she was like 17 or you know yeah yeah but now she was 28 and she was going to night school and she was like I'm going to better myself and if I have a family they're not going to be born into this community they're not going to have the childhood I had and she was just so adamant that like no my child I don't want the life that I had for my child so she gets accidentally pregnant and she's just like this is the kind of stuff people from here do they get accidentally pregnant and they were going to change the world and well now we just struggle on and that just happens again and again and she was just so determined that that was not going to be the case and so she was also living in a sharehouse and she was just more than others just like a

child needs two parents and she didn't know my birth father and like they sort of that one time and she was like well this is not not for me and I think also by the time she realized like even when you're trying, you're kind of checking regularly. She didn't know she was pregnant until way into it. And I think it was like past the point of no return. Yeah. And so she was like, well, this kid's going to have to be born. I don't want them growing up in the.

And so I always go, oh, you've done me this huge favor. So it wasn't like, how could you do this to me? I was always like, thank you for doing that for me. And so I was never, like, never once was I like, what the fuck? And it was like to the opposite, like she felt a bit guilty afterwards. And a lot of birth mums feel guilt. And the only reason I ever wanted to meet her, really, was just go, like, you don't need to feel guilty.

Like, all good. I've, like, hit the jackpot over here with my family. Like, I hope you go and marry someone, have a family of your own and kind of forget about me in the nicest way possible. Do you remember when you got that letter? Yeah, well, again, I was in the drawer always. Yeah, okay. But I wasn't old enough to read it.

And I'm not actually very good at reading. So it actually took me from a few more years than anyway. But I've still got it. It's like a yellow booklet and it's got a little ribbon. And it's like, dear Ryan. It's called Ryan's story. And they kind of said, yeah, you know, my brothers are this tall. And we back for Collingwood and all this stuff.

And kind of had to do it. Yeah. And it was pretty nice. And then she kind of explained like the circumstances. And I think when you kind of hear that side of the story, you kind of go, oh, like it's actually quite selfless. It's not like, yeah, she couldn't be bothered or she did the, cooling off period and decided not to. But the final, like, not that we need any evidence,

but like in terms of being selfless, I actually had surgery when I was three days old on my hip. Hips no good, man. Yeah, the hip's no good. Yeah, I wonder it's the same one. It's like a hernia or something. Is that a hip, hernia or something? I don't know.

But I came out of the surgery and they're like, oh, like the baby's going to be fine, but like he's going to be sore. And so he just like needs lots of hugs and cuddles from his family. And the nurse is like, well, he doesn't have family yet. so she actually my birth mother julie came back to the hospital like after doing the traumatic like leaving she like came back and just like sat in the chair for two days just to like kind of hold me while I was a bit sore and tender and so you're going to go oh like she cared

and she was doing the right thing and there's no like animal like yeah you can't be angry at no for sure that's amazing like yeah like the selflessness to come back yeah especially after that I can't imagine, like, I can't imagine giving up one of my children. Well, yeah, I always thought that would be really tough. But I just remember the first hour with Mabel. So Bridge had a few complications and was off in the theatre. So it's just like the two of us. And the thought of like going, oh, I love you.

And like, I wouldn't be selfless or brave enough. Like, there'd be no circumstance. Like, I just couldn't. Yeah. And I think when Mabel was born, I was just like, well, it's sort of like, the respect I had for my birth mother, Julie, like 10X, going to almost school. I was like, yeah, it's crazy.

Well, as an adult, you then went on the quest to then find your parents. You then got in contact with your dad, who was in the UK. Yeah. You then flew over to meet him. How much were you hoping for a long-term relationship and how much were you happy for it just to be like a, like, hey, putting a face to a name? Yeah, so I did the ancestry DNA test trying to find, because I never really considered my birth father because I just knew he was like.

backpacking and it was what he didn't even know i existed so it wasn't any he didn't make decisions on my behalf of yeah so i'd do this ancestry DNA test hoping to find my birthmother julie who lives in melbourne and as it turns out live three streets from my best mate and just up the road oh my god and worked at a place that i've been to like it's like crazy oh wow so there's a chance you might have encountered i actually would be like it's hard to believe i wouldn't have yeah so she went she she she she was going to so she's now passed away, so it won't matter. But she worked at Vinnie's in Sydney Road in Brunswick.

Wow. And so I've been to that Vinnie's so many times because we love getting a bargain and go or the dress-up high. So we would actually go there all the time. And so she volunteered there and stuff for ages. And I'm like, there's no way. I didn't run into her. But so trying to find her down the street, no chance at all.

found some random guy in London, which it turned out to be easier to find, which is just insane. Yeah. So we did the ancestry DNA test. And then I write this letter to Joel and said like, I didn't say like, I think you're my father. I kind of went, oh, I was adopted. They don't know the father.

My birth and his name was Julie. This was my birthday. I think you worked in Melbourne like nine months before that for a little bit. You know, I'm in London next, like, you know, if you want to grab a coffee. Stop by. Because I didn't want to put the press. pressure on or make it feel weird. But I also was like, I'm not after an explanation.

You don't know me anything. And I think it was more of a like a curiosity. And just like, because at the time, I'm like, I've never met anyone in my biological family. So if we have a beer, that'd be like the craziest thing that I ever do. Yeah, that's why. So I send this letter.

He's like away for the weekend. And the neighbor, like the post, he goes, oh, they away. Give the letter to the neighbor. And the neighbor goes, yeah, cool, man. And just chucks it in the drawer. and so a month later he's looking for an old water bill opens the drawer and goes oh fuck I've got that letter for Joel

oh my god yeah um and then so like it was almost that close to not meeting him also because you know neighbor yeah um and and up this is like such a tight-ass thing but i paid for like you what's that extra thing you can pay where it like tracks it a trading number or whatever yeah yeah they're like oh it's like eight dollars a bit it's a peer line thing. Yeah, but for $12, we'll track it. And I was like, great. And I was like, I paid an extra four fucking dollars. And the guy, still didn't drop it off at the right house. And so then, like, he sends me an email and goes, yeah, like, I think that's me. I hear what you're

saying. Like, let's do a proper test and see. So I did a few swabs and he did the same. And I sent to this place in London. And then he emailed me saying, yeah, it's a match. And then that email I went to my junk folder for like a week. And then I got it. And then I was like, yeah, I was like, yeah, I'm in London. Should we catch up? And went over there and had a coffee. And we had a coffee and we met at 10 a.m.

And we were still at the cafe for like six hours later, just like, if you were also in the cafe, you would be like, oh, these are like two old mates catching up. Yeah. Like you wouldn't, it was that sort of natural. And you still are standing contact now? Yeah, yeah. So I've been, so I've been to London and hung out with them three. free time. Tony, we were in London last year. And so they go, oh, you know, we'll go out for dinner

while we're here. And then at the end of dinner, um, Joel, my birth father goes, oh, I'll pay for us. And Tony goes, well, you miss the first 30 years. It's the fucking way she did. And Joel's wife just goes, oh my God. And, uh, Joel did find that funny after the feet. Like he was like, she's joking. Oh, yeah. It's a joke. It's a joke. I've been to London three times. They're originally from the US. I've done a Thanksgiving in New Orleans, Thanksgiving in Austin,

and in a month I'm going to Thanksgiving in. I think we're going to Carbo, and I'll go back to Austin for a bit. So he's got two sons who are like my half-brothers. One of them looks like exactly like I did before I got fat. Yeah, you guys had the same. You said fat and I didn't. Yeah, yeah.

Great time, man. Yeah, it's just about each other. They're like, in the same eyes. We do have the same eyes. So that one, I know, a big guy. Yeah. I was like, oh, you got blue eyes and like, yeah, yeah, we too, too. I'm like, you both got hairy chest.

And like, yeah, we two, I'm like, you guys both got small dicks. And they're like, no. I was like, yeah, that would be any crazy. But we, like, in my- Let's compare. In my family, like, my mum, teacher, dad, tradie, all aunties, teachers, nurses, traities. And I studied finance, which was a bit like, like, no one was really into that.

birth father finance, two brothers, finance, accountant, his brother, stockbroker, like... I think you might have got it from there. But like, there's all these, like, crazy things. You've all got bad hips. Yeah, see this scar, yeah? I have had a shoulder reconstruction. My birth father... Ryan's just taking his shirt off if anyone's wondering.

Take your pants off. Sure us the hip scar. Show us that. Show us your hips. Birth father, same scar, same surgery from when he played, like, sport back in the day and stuff. So there's all these, like, little quirky things. And we just find that how interesting. So when you were trying to have a kid, it took about six years.

Yeah. Were you and Bridge ever considering adopting? Yeah, but because I, there's a lot of kids born into like unfortunate circumstances. And even still, you know, that, oh, mum's passed away, dad's in jail. Like, there's people that are really stuck. And so I think I've always felt like it was a way of like passing it on or it was a genuine option. And Bridge was like open to it, but was like, oh, but I'd still like to have our own. child and because she's a real like bridge had a great career but even in the heights of what

she was doing in wine making she was like i want to be a mom yeah i want to have a garden with veggies and make food and she's just like a real like salt of the earth like she's not italian but like she's an old italian nona and so that's what she really wanted and that was really important and so i think but we did talk about it and stuff but when i was in western australia i kind of was thinking about adoption and i kind of really understood the like concept of it was only starting to click that some couples just couldn't conceive because you know in high school you go to health class and they're like if you look at a girl at a party yeah pregnant pregnant and then it's so crazy that you get to 30 and you go it's actually really fucking hard to get pregnant which is crazy so i was like

i kind of had this like i don't know what i was going through but i had this like oh i can understand that and i think i want to like donate sperm as my way of like paying it forward a little bit and so there's this website in perth and imagine what's had to have taken place previously for this to be written on the website. Okay. There's two women who are looking for a donor. You don't get to have sex with the girls. That's what it's said.

And I was like, well, obviously. And don't come on your computer because that doesn't work either. Yeah, but I was like, yeah, obviously they need a mail for that. And so I was like, and then I was like, how many guys have messaged for them to need to have written that? Just to manage expectations. Rule number one. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, and then I think that's when I started. I wasn't with, like, I knew Bridget at the time, but we weren't like together. And then as we came together, she was like, oh, I really respect that. But I'd also like to have our own first. Also, are we about to bust open a scandal? With what? Can you hear someone at the door? All right.

Oh, okay. That's my mum. Hi, Ali. I've been inspired by you, by the way, from afar. My name's Ryan. Ryan, he's a guest. I'm a guest, guess what? I've been inspiration.

How about that? Yeah, you are. Um, guess what he brought, Mom. Guess what he brought? On a plane all the way here. Have one gas. Oh, a cheese platter. Close.

Well, there's a type of cheese platter, but it has a lasagna. A lasagna from Melbourne. Look her eyes light up. Yeah. Yeah. You've been an inspiration with your travelling food hijinks over the years. So thank you for that. And I'm so sorry, Mom.

You'll have to get out of the room. No. My mother of fun. Don't have to defend yourself. It's okay. I'm so sorry. We'll have to banish this to the bedroom. She just comes in there.

She's not. Cry and poor. Get out. So then for six years, what is that like? This is coming from Ash and myself. We both were very fortunate. And we got our wives pregnant quickly.

But what's it like for yourself having to go through that six year wait, hoping. Hoping, yeah. But we also move for work a few times. So we were in Canberra. Then we moved to Perth. And then we move back.

But like, when you're moving across the country, you start you're doing the like, oh, well, hang on. Do we just take a break real quick? because if we're about to move and then the support, like my mum's not there. And so you're kind of like stopping and starting and it's not really working.

And then you kind of, because Bridger's career was going really well and radio was going right for me, we're like, oh, things are going really well. Maybe it's not the worst thing if, like there wasn't that urgency right at the start. And so you kind of just assume, oh, you know, not this month, maybe next month. And then, oh, we're moving at the end of the years. We'll wait until then. And then Bridget gets to that age where she is a geriatric, which is. written on all the forms.

What? What age? Sorry, one's it. Yeah, a geriatric. What? When you're over 35, all of the forms,

did Laura cop that as well? Yeah, yeah, yeah, she was because we were 30, she's 39 now. Yeah, but I use that to mock people older than me.

Yeah. So now I'm just, you are. Yeah. Yeah. Wow, that needs to change that. But even seeing that word on forms

is just so like, confunting. Yeah. But, then we did IVF, a few rounds, didn't quite work. And it was also during lockdown, which just made, like, logistically really hard. Because we were in Melbourne as well by this stage, you couldn't really go anywhere. You couldn't do anything.

When I had to give a sperm sample, I wasn't allowed into the hospital. We have to do it out of the front. Well, they're like, you bring it in. From out the front. Well, they actually, because I was like, look, there's all these men jerking off in the car park. You've got 40 minutes from the time when you predict. juice to when you have to, because then it goes cold or whatever, and you can't do it

there. So you start thinking like, am I jerking about the front? What am I doing? I didn't have a car at the time. So I actually, in the bushes. Well, I got an Uber and I had the cup in my jacket in an Uber. Yeah. And so I was, wait, wait, hang on a second. So have you, have you pre-booked the Uber or have you? Okay. So, yeah, let me run you through which apps open at which time. No, so I'm on air at Kiss on the radio at 9. I start on air and it's just me, solar shift at 9 a. So you start jerking then. Yeah. Coming up is me.

That's not base you can hear. The clinic opens at 8 and I'm on air at 9. So I'm like, there's sort of a small window to get it done. And so Tony Lodge goes, I know what I'll do. I'll text Ryan every two minutes from 740. to eight o'clock and just she's like taking selfies and smiling. She's like, does this help? Does this help?

Oh, my God. It didn't. I'm looking into the case. It didn't. She made it real awkward because she was like, because I told her, I'm like, oh, I'm going to have to run into there. I do that and come back and she's like, okay. So then I get an Uber and I kind of don't hate the Uber driver of this because

if you're an Uber driver and this person goes, can we get to the hospital as soon as possible? He goes, is everything okay? Yeah. You know, like, oh, yeah. Is everything fine? And I go, it's actually fine. And he goes, which entrance?

And I go, I the one here and he goes, oh, what's going on? And he's asking all these questions. And I'm like. And you've got a bucket of cum on your shirt. I've got a bucket of cum. It's a full learicum. There's perspiration on my forehead still. And I'm like normally confidentish, I guess.

But like, I'm so sheepish in this moment. I'm just so embarrassed and awkward. And also, I have to rock up to reception. Oh, yeah. Oh, where do I put the... You know, so I'm just so nervous. Also, you're in an Uber with a bucket of cum. Yeah.

And so... The record was, how much was it? No, I'm joking. How many meals? Well, do they need or... No, how many in the cup? I tell you what's really like humbling. Please.

Is like, when I think they should make... The cup was so wide that it doesn't fill up my... And you just feel like, is that all I've got to offer? It's a thin pancake. I want to start a family in this. This is what I'm dishes. Yeah, I need a cash print net. It's just so awkward.

Yeah, it's just so awkward. And then you walk in there and I don't know why this makes it worse, but the girl behind the counter is the hottest girl you've ever seen in your hand. You just go, oh, of course it is. And it's just so awkward. And I told the Uber driver, I'm like, I've got to get back to Kirst Therati. Can you wait out the front? And he's like, how long are you going to be?

And then I think he's realized, oh, it's a sperm donation. place and he doesn't know it's in my pocket. So when I go, wait right here, I'm not going to be long. He's like, am I waiting for this guy to go to jerking? Well, I've just like kept the car running out the front. Keep the meter going. Yeah, but I talked about this on our podcast and because people in Melbourne were like, oh, same, but we don't live within 40 minutes.

So this lady, she's from Melton, which is probably 40 minutes away. And so she was driving the car and her husband was jerking in the back. in the back seat coming down the Western Highway. And now if you heard someone jerking off and you heard faster, faster, slower, slower, what are you expecting? The accelerator. Correct, because he's like there's a person right next to me.

So he's like, can you just speed up a little bit? So they're not right there. Oh, no, slow down. He's like trying to concentrate on that and do it. Is that illegal? Can you masturbate in the car? No, you can't. If you're a passenger, you can't do what you can.

No, because you're still on the park. You're in public, even though you're in a car. Well, I own the car. It's a private vehicle. It's a private vehicle. If you're in a taxi, you probably can't do that. Yeah, okay. Let's get a list of where and where you can not check on, Jess.

If anyone's listening who works in law or is police. Is that your personal computer, Jess? Don't Google it. Yeah. Because your algorithm will be fucked. But yeah, fun times have by all really. And then another time I did get to go in. But I think that's worse because there is never less eye contact than when you're in the waiting room.

I thought you were going to say you'd do it in front of them. No, but there's seven other guys in the waiting room and you're all just sitting their way and you all know what you're right. Yeah. And then you finish and you go sit back down and they're sort of like... And everyone's grinning. Who's the sweatiest? It's real awkward.

But yeah, I think COVID made it weird. Bridget getting older, like sort of put the pressure on a little bit. And then the strangest thing, because like with you, do you do a pregnancy test? Is that how you guys found out? You know, the partner comes out from the bathroom with the stick. Yeah, like one of the times Laura had some. This reminds me of that story. I was like, we thought we'd dip it in the toilet.

Oh, yeah, we were like, how do they actually do it? Do they, like, just we're in the toilet and then like, like, like you do, like stirring some punch? That's a fair question. See? Thank you. People are like, you idiots. They should teach that in school. But we get told, oh, yeah, the nurse will call you at 247 on Tuesday. Or, you know, just it's.

Very specific. Or we get an email because we tried a few times. Once was an, it's just the least romantic. I'm like, this is a beautiful. beautiful moment, check your Gmail, you know. It's in junk. Yeah. And even we found out the gender from an email.

Oh, wow. And it's really like, because you know, oh, it's going to be this moment and we're going to embrace and it's going to be huge and we're like, what's the dialogue? How are they writing these emails? Is it like? It's just a big girl. Yeah. Do they make small tour?

I hope you had a good weekend. Got it. Actually, it's actually a very unromantic, unhot. It's very science. Oh, here's the printout of your DNA and the numbers and the this and that and the blood says this and the blood says. And it's almost like if the blood level of this test is above that, it means you're pregnant. But like you're getting a printout of shit that's all foreign. Like, you don't really know. It's like when I got my O.P, which is what we get when we finish school. And it's number between 1 and 25. I don't know, Ryan's just coughing up a lung. But we, we have a thought of your school. Yeah, it's like one. I remember like trying. I remember like trying. trying to scan the letter, trying to find out... The answer.

What it is? Yeah. The letter itself was a test. Yeah. What did you get? I got like a 21 out of 25. Legend, no. Is that good?

Is that good? 25 is the worst. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. I'm like a doll. Come on. One of you. I'm sitting next to a fucking genius.

No, I'm just... Where did you go to school? Which time? Higher school the first time. Pre-duty. St. Paul's. So would you get an end to score or you were out of 25? No, no, I left school and I was 15, never made it.

Oh, so it was a score. So 19 is 21 more than you. Yep, yep, yep, yep. Look, I got life lessons. So true. So true. So true. So what was it like then jumping into the deep end of parenthood?

Did you sink? Did you swim? I think I did a pretty good job at the start. Bridge was out of action for six weeks, like, after the birth. And so it was just like she couldn't really. move couldn't do much so I was running around doing a lot of doing a lot. She was still doing way more than me. But I kind of did the night shift. You can always hold over them that you can't drive at that time. You're like, well, I can drive. Well, I guess I'll have to drive. Mabel was born just

before the 2023 Ashes Cricket, which was in England that started at 10pm every night. And so that's, so I said, I did the night shift. And this is like so simple, but the whole time we were trying to get pregnant, I was just, well, Bridget was trying to get pregnant, I was just sitting, I just kept thinking, one day I'm going to sit on the couch, and I'm going to have our dog Bron on my legs, Mabel on my chest, the fire on, and just lay there and go, this is it. And then the cricket's on. And then you go, fuck, the ashes are coming up. And so every night, we had the, and we just moved into our house, which I guess now is like

our forever house, a few months earlier. And my only, like, bridge is like, the only thing I really want is a bath. That's my like, my thing. And I was like, great, I really want a fireplace. And whatever the rest of the house is, we'll figure that out. But that was our thing. And so I just remember, and it wasn't just once. It was every night for months on it.

And I'm like, I'm like, I'm laying here. You know, like, you know, they're kind of cooing and just like really nestling in. When they're not screaming. Yeah. The dog who gets along really well with like, we're nervous about that. You know, you're not supposed to leave a dog and a kid in the same room. Oh, yeah. You can't separate the my dog.

And Mabel, they are best friends. Well, that's concerning. Yeah. So I'm sitting there, bronze on my lap, Mabel's like on my chest cooing, the fires on and I was just like, I've done it. Like, this is, this is the best. And so as like, not as much sleep and all that stuff, it was just like the best.

I also wasn't working because Tony, you know, I had like gone out on our own. So Tony was really, like we could be flexible. Yeah. Whereas if I had a job, like when I was working at Kiss, like besides jerking at that, morning it's pretty like oh cool well you start at nine so yeah like there's no flexibility so i i don't know how people do breakfast radio with the kid that would just be oh yeah insane but um yeah i don't know i guess i was pretty lucky with the the flexibility did we win that asher

series do you remember uh it was a draw but we were the character of a champion so we retained that's right not to bring up the adoption thing please again sorry to keep reminding you that's right i'm aware. Did that have any impact on the way that you parent? Um, a little bit. I think I, so before that,

the one thing that's like affected my life is because my mom, birth month made a huge sacrifice for me. I felt like a lot of pressure to like have a good life, whatever that means to kind of like, well, you made this sacrifice for me. The least I can do is like do a really good job of it. And so I kind of felt pressure for that. And so a big word for me is like pride.

Like I want to do stuff I'm proud of. When I'm old, I want to look back and think, oh, I'm proud of the things I've done. And then I hope my birth mom can be proud of the things I've achieved. And so that's like a big thing for me. And so. You're going to make me cry. Fuck. Yeah.

Oh, really? But so with Mabel, I tell her every day, like, how proud I am. But I actually, you know what, like it's going to lose meaning. Like, as, like, people think. Oh, that one day dad sat me down and said, I'm so proud of you, son. But I'd say it all the time, like five times a day. And so by the time she's 15, she's like, shut up, dad, look, you know, leave me. But I like really take, like.

You take pride in it? I take pride in telling her how proud I am. Even when it's really small, I'm just like, I'm really proud. That was really, that was really kind. You're sharing your toys. I'm really proud of you for that. It could be your thing, though. You don't know.

Yeah. You don't know how she's going to take it in 15 years time. Yeah. Might be shut up, dad. It would be like, well, that's our thing. Yeah. If we're proud of each other. I can tell you from personal experience,

you never get fed up or sick of hearing someone say you're doing a really good job. No matter who it comes from, whether it's my mum, whether it's Laura or my wife. Yeah. If it's someone at work, Ash rarely says it to me. I say it all the time.

You don't. I say it to my screen about you a fair bit, Ash. Thank you. Maybe I should put that in the DMs more than I am. I think it is something you can say it until you're black and doing the face. And I think there is absolutely no, I mean, I'm the psychologist, Especially like, I mean, when maybe gets a little bit older and she's up and running around

and she's starting to establish hobbies and then she does really good. Like, I know with Oscar, when he does something and you can see the pride on his fate, like I, without having to even say, I just feel it. Yeah. You know what I mean?

And I know he can feel that I can feel it too. Yeah. What's Oscar doing at the moment? It's like gives you a real life job. Like, uh, jiu-jitsu, right? Oh, that's sick. Yeah. He's, he's a shit out of other kids.

And he's an absolute. weapon and he's he doesn't know it but as when it when when push comes to show of the time to fight another kid yeah the other kids shit yeah the other kids shit because oscar take him down like a bag of shit one once one and i'm like get him as a joke i tried to grab him he tried to kidnap him i tried to grab him on a cruise ship okay and he's international waters yeah and the kid fucking fly kicked me in the face and i fucking deserved and i was like holy shit he beat the shit out of and then how old is he six oh dude a trade six shot and fuck people up yeah yeah yeah yeah

He's like a spider monkey. But when he has that good class, and he's like, oh, he's like, I fucking wailed on two kids in their dad. I'm like, yeah, fuck, I'm proud of that. And that's always going to be there because he'll probably move on from that and find a new hobby. Or when he catches the foot, if you feel it, especially like if you've got your kid and your kid's like, well, if dad's proud of me, I'm proud of me. Yeah, she's like that.

One thing I've liked, so me and able do swimming lessons at the moment. Oh, yeah. That's our thing on a Saturday morning. We do swimming lessons and we go get a coffee. but one line that I like to use because I don't want to also be like the parent that like we've all seen those really crazy

overbearing especially fathers that are like you have to win son like just saying like I love watching you do that like they just know that I'm out so when she gets out of the pool I just love seeing you swimming sometimes she'll have a really good lesson and sometimes you know she's a bit shy

and doesn't work but I'm like I just I love seeing him and she just goes oh dad loves seeing me have a go Yeah. And even her hearing, Dad loves seeing you do that. Like, you can kind of see it in her go, oh, great. Totally. And so for when she gets older and for sport and stuff,

I'm really trying to remind myself, like, I love watching you do that. It might be like, I'm glad you won. Or if you're lost, you shouldn't have done this. It's like, no, I just love watching your play. Yeah. Marley's trying to learn to write a black at the moment, and she's absolutely useless. Like the moment you let go, she falls over instantly. That's like April.

And she was like, Dad, do I? Sorry, that's your wife. Yeah. She was like, did I do good? And I said, honey, you're doing amazing. That's the best I've ever seen. Wasn't. But she was like, she was so happy to hear me say that.

But is she like having fun trying and falling over and stuff? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then I just love seeing you having fun out here. Totally.

You know, and then you don't have to lie. That's true. Yeah. Well, when Mabel's older and she's no longer living with you, what is the one thing you'd want her to remember about the house she'd up in? That's a great question. A simple question that I've never thought of.

Like I said, Bridget's like a real non-a-type. Like we've got this huge veggie garden. We're going to get chickens. Mabel has this, do you guys have that little thing at the bench where they stand at the kitchen bench and like, no. No, I never got that. They're so good. I throw it out.

It annoyed the shit out of me. It's so good. But like, Mabel loves helping, like in the kitchen. And I feel like if she grows up and knows that like, oh, mom and dad love each other, love me and we're always like cooking food, we're in the garden. It's just like a really calm, peaceful, healthy kind of place. I don't know, like that might seem like overly simplistic, but like I just feel like if she grows up and has like a pretty wholesome, because you know, you're always fighting

the screens and it's a crazy word out there. But I think if she remembers Homer's like, oh, we always had like really great food and, you know, we always hung out together. I always make a point of being like, hey, Mabel, who does dad love? And she'll go, you, dad loves mom. And just really making sure that she knows that mom and dad love each other. So I feel like if she's like, oh, yeah, like, if she, you think, oh, what was your dad like? Oh, he just loved mom so much and he just loved me.

Like, that would be really cool if that was what she remembered. Cool memory stuff. Yeah. I did have one more question, which I don't know if this is going to make sense, but someone submitted this on our Instagram. Yeah. They asked, I think I'm doing this. remembering it correctly.

They wanted to know what sauce you like? What source? Yeah. Does that make any sense at all? Okay. We'll cut this part out. Someone just said... Well, Hollandea sauce is the greatest source in the world.

Jess, can you just double check the two doting dads? She's obviously got a lot of quality comments and questions coming through the box there. What's your favorite sauce? Yeah. What's your favorite day of Luke? I could be Tony's famous. Maybe it's the Bechamel sauce. I thought you were going to be like, oh, like this is such a like, enjoy.

Okay, shit. Was that Donner again? That was such a wholesome ending. Yeah, I know. And to finish this chat, barbecue. Smoky barbecue in particular. Ryan, it's been a pleasure. Thank you, Ryan.

And that lasagna was out of the fridge for a while, so I'll just leave that up to you to decide what's... I'm not going to anywhere here. If I get food poisoning, I'll let you know either way. If you could send that tray back to me... Next time we come to Melbourne, we'll just take everything. down. Thank you, man. Ash.

Matt. At the time of recording this outro, I will admit that I have eaten the lasagna. It fed the family. My kids don't like lasagna that much. What's wrong with them? I tried to give it to the kids. They weren't too keen. Laura did have it on the first night of it being cooked.

She was a little bit wary about how long it would be safe to eat, considering that it traveled interstate, unfrozen. On an airplane. It was a long time in transit, not being refrigerated. So she was like, look, after night one, I'm out. I continued to eat the lasagna for three or four days. Oh. Until Laura was like, I'm throwing that fucking thing out.

Where's the dish? She threw that out too. I've kept the dish. Oh, good. My mum was like, should we return it and post it back? I'm like, I'm sure you could just order one off Amazon. Yeah. And it'd be the same price as what it costs.

Boomers. Send it to Melbourne. You idiot. Make sure you wrap it in newspaper. Put it on an idea. box and send it back. Shut up, Mother. Should we clean it first?

Nah. But if you enjoyed this episode, as much as I enjoyed the lasagna, please give us a review. That's what I'm going to say. Five stars. Share with a friend, if you like, or you can join us on socials. At two dotting dads. On Instagram, TikTok, there is a Facebook group as well.

Goodbye. Goodbye. Farewell. God bless. And we'll see you. Arrivedecchi. As the people who make lasanias would say. Adios. Adios. Amigos.

Bye. I got to. No. Two Doting Dad's podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respects to their elders, past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.