Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash - #206 Ilai Matangi aka Havea_969

Episode Date: February 22, 2026

The boys meet Tiktok megastar Havea 969 also known as Ilai Matangi. The father-of-four has had a huge couple of years after being named both Tiktok creator of the year and comedy creator of the year. And while he might have a few more million followers, Ilai is as humble as they come... and as the boys discover, is a big softie at heart. He even sheds a few tears getting deep with the boys about dad life.  Plus he has some incredible dad hacks so that he can parent his daughters differently to how he was raised. If you need a shoulder to cry on:  Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ash, today's guest, went from humble school counselor to one of Australia's most beloved content creators. Not yourself, Ash, not yourself. Sorry about that. He's even more popular than you. That's probably true. Yesterday, Matt, we have Eli Metungi. Who is a dad to four girls? Who are the centre of most of his content, I will say. And a lot of people might not know that.

They know his three girls who feature in his content, but he also has a stepdaughter from when he first met his wife, Petter. It was great to talk about his perspective on parenting and also his background, the fact that he spent a lot of time and a lot of different locations growing up before he ended up in Brisbane where he lives now. Yes, and I've heard, based off the chat, he's got arthritic toes and ankles. He'll be stoked that we put that in the intro. Oh, he'll love that. He's amassed 4.6 million followers. That must be nice. Would be nice, actually.

Give us a million, would you? Just give us a cheeky hundred thousand. Stop hogging them all, but his content. content is amazing. He also won the TikTok creator of the Year Award recently. He is killing it. That speech was very emotional. Nearly made me cry. But fun fact, we actually made him a little emotional on this episode. The big guys are big softy, isn't he? Absolutely. Let's get into it. Let's do it. Welcome back to three doting dads. I'm Maddie J. I'm Ash. And he's your boy, have their 6-7-6. Sorry, sooth. That was soothing.

How dare you interrupt the man. I am so sorry. So sorry. What were you saying? I was actually going to say my name is Eli Matangi, aka Havr 676. Wow. You know how I'm like smooth FM? I just was thinking love song dedications then.

We're going to have your love song dedication. He was Valentine's Day and all three men. Love songs after that. But this is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good. It is the bad. And the relatable. And Eli, we don't give advice.

But you may, if you like. But you are also like, you've got the background to give advice, which we'll get into later. Yeah, you've also got more kids than us. So I would say that you and they're older, I mean, in the hierarchy. I also feel like you're stronger than both of us. I know, we're together. And it's like, let's arm wrestle. You know, we always ask, I guess, a question to begin with, which is.

Yeah, so we want to know what's the most trouble that you can remember getting in as a child. Sharks. bringing back PTSD right now. Sorry. I remember when I was, I actually can't remember what age I was, but my parents had to go somewhere and I was staying with my grandmother

and the power cut out and she needed to light a candle. But the candle was one of those things. You know those candles where it's like a cup and like the lighting parts like in the cup? Inside, yeah. So like even if you have a lighter, you can't really light it. You burn your finger.

Yeah, exactly, yeah. We've been there. Everyone's like, oh. I thought it was a good idea. So what I got was like one of those sparkling fireworks. And I lit the candle. But then it was one of those, you know, I don't know if they sell it in Australia. Because I grew up in Hawaii.

So this was in the States. And it's one of those, it's the sparkling, but it has like a little paper at the front. And once the paper, like lights and sparkles, once it hits that part, it goes into like flares. And there's no turning back. There's no stopping, yeah. And so I lit that and I lit the candle. And my nans like next to me, he's like, yay, there's light. And then it hit the flare part.

And it just went. But it was all. carpet. So it just lit the carpet. Oh my goodness. Yeah, bro. Do you burn the house down? No, I nearly did. Yeah. Unfortunately, I burnt my nann's hand because she tried to put it out with the pillows and everything. And I froze. I stood there. I was like, what the hell? And then, usually it's the other. Usually people used a flame to light the firework to light. You're down the opposite. Yeah, totally opposite. So yeah, lit that up. And then smoke alarm went off. Everything. Panicked. Once everything was sorted, I beg my, my nan. I was like, please. You know, I tell my dad when they get home. And she's like, no, go to bed. It's fine. And then I was walking up. Was Nan like the comfort on? Could she hold on to that?

No, she betrayed me. She sticks on me. That's the night I lost my trust for my name. Oh my goodness. Yeah, I got walking up in a very violent way. I'm flogged into the shower. And then, yeah, I got in a lot of trouble. And my dad sat me down and explained consequences,

which just went right over my head. But now that I think back at it, I'm like, oh, damn, we could have lost the house. Could have lost my nan, could have lost myself. But it's an innocent mistake. I know it's a silly one. It is. Yeah, you're right.

I mean, you don't really think about the consequences. You just think about solving the problem. Especially as a kid. You're just like, I'll fix it with this. And then... Just to make you feel better about yourself, me and my brothers, we got about 300 sparklers, got duct tape, them all together. That sounds fun.

And then you put the middle one a little bit higher, and then you put it down somewhere, and then you light it. And once that middle one hits the 400, 300, it's really big. This sounds amazing. We should just quit what we're doing right now. Everyone's got, even I've got a sparkler story. We lit a sparkler ones and it was New Year's Eve and I was a kid. And our back garage had all these dead leaves on it.

And someone thought it was flying. Yeah, to like fling one. The whole garage just went in an instant. Oof. Up in flames. As a young boy, it's a ride of passage to burn things. Be a pyro tech. Beampirromania.

So when did you move from? Hawaii? I think I was I spent 13 years in Hawaii and then the way things work like in the Tongan culture my dad's sister kind of took me in like adopted like not on paper but just raised me and so she moved to Fiji so man if you ask what I've been I'm like two of the Pacific I've lived in Fiji New Zealand um Hawaii so she was her husband was a lecture in USB which is the university of South Pacific yeah and so we ended up in Fiji and I ended up living with her for like four years And so how does that conversation happen with your sister and your parents of like, hey, now you're going to go with her to Fiji? There's a choice for you?

It's just with the older generation, the Tongan generation, it's kind of like the norm. It's just like, hey, I'm going to take him and raise him. It's brutal. We supposed to take my kids and raise him. And it's usually like the firstborn or the namesake. So say if they had a daughter, my parents had a daughter and it was named after my auntie. It's like her duty just to raise her. And because I was the firstborn, my auntie just.

just took care of me from when I was a baby. And so when she moved to Fiji, it was like, oh, just come live with us. Not permanently, but just come live with us. And so I ended up staying four years over there. My question was going to be about, like, Fiji in Hawaii. Do you remember which was your favorite as a kid? Yeah, they both have a special place in my heart. But I think Fiji, I was hitting my teen years in Fiji, so there's a lot of my first things in Fiji.

I'm with you. I'm picking it up. I'm picking it up. I'm not to get into Fiji. Anyway, so tell us. Tell us about that. A lot of my first experiences of life happened in Fiji. Very cool.

Yeah, very cool indeed. And Fiji holds a special place. I do a lot of work in Fiji. I was just there last two weeks. I got to MC, UB40, which is a reggae band. Oh, nice. And the Fiji crowd, man, every time I jump on stage, they love me, eh. How good.

That's good. Matt got engaged in Fiji, didn't you? Yeah, yeah, Malala Island. Oh, wow, yeah, it's beautiful way. Yeah. That's been nice. Where does your allegiance lie, then? Yeah.

You're like Hawaii, Fiji, Tom. You've got Warriors' pants. Don't at that. Oh shit, sorry. Hey, we're Finzi. I'm Tongan. So by blood and by culture, I'm Tongan. That's my name.

So that 6-7-6 is actually Tonga. Yeah, right. Yeah, and it's crazy because everywhere I go nowadays, people think I started that 6-7 trend, and I'm like, fuck. Take? Take ownership of that. I'm like, one, I hate that same.

I have no idea how that came about, but everyone thinks that meets me and sees my name. They're like, oh, did you start that 6-7? I'm like, oh. To the parents listening. Yeah. It wasn't any like, those age. There's overall math stages.

All the stages out there that's like can't count anymore. And so then when did you end up in Brisbane? So mom and dad's always, they've lived in Australia for years. I remember they made the move, I think, in 1999. And so the goal was always coming back to Australia to them, which is another tongue and thing. It's like your kids get raised by all these extended family. And then when they hit this age, they just come back to mom and dad.

Yeah. So that's, I came back after high school. I've done my last three years of high school in New Zealand. And then they've been in Perth. So majority of my life in Australia, I'm Perth boy. That's not away from New Zealand. Yeah. Yeah.

So I've done my university in Perth. I met my wife in Perth. I got married, had kids in Perth. And now we live in Queensland. But Perth is kind of like home for me. Yeah. Everywhere. I do want to talk about Peter.

Yeah. Yeah. Do you remember how you guys met? Yeah. So I was a bouncer at the nightclub when she was a drunk white girl. Yeah. basically your typical love story so she walked past

I thought she was trying to get into the club and you bounced her all right that's for sure I'm sorry bounced a few times Oh my God You know me

I'm not going to let that I'm not going to let that go past Yeah Yeah so we met there She came back two weeks later And she's like Oh do you remember me And I was like oh yeah

I remember you And we just chatted And then she gave me a number We stayed in touch and yeah, now four kids later. Wow. That's the love story. Coming from a relationship that's pretty boring in terms of cultural background,

what's it like for yourself mixing your tongue and culture with a white girl? So there's two things. So when Petter came into my life, she had a daughter. And so my family is like this strict Christian, you know, don't bring a girl home unless you're going to get married to her. Don't bring someone home with a child. stay away from girls with tattoos pets us cover it up in tattoos

so everything on the list that my mom told me not to do I did and so yeah now she's like my mom's favorite daughter-in-law so it kind of worked that well what was that first introduction like so she found out on Facebook we went out one night and she took a photo

and she tagged me in it I think at that time Facebook you couldn't approve like who tagged you and couldn't like you know how now when you get tagged you can approve it and it just showed up on my feed and I got a call and my mom's like Oh, who's that girl? What are you talking about?

And I was like, oh, it's just a friend that I met. She's like, oh, you're pretty cozy with your friend in that photo. And I was like, oh, no, it's just a friend. And then she started seeing more photos. And everything was fine until she's seen a photo. I think she's done her investigation. She went show all the times. She went on her.

She's seen that Petta had a photo with her daughter, Kiara. And she's like, hold up. She has a daughter. Like, what are you doing? And I was like, oh, no, we're just talking. There's nothing serious. And she's like, why would you waste her time and waste your time and investing something that's not going to be a long run?

she's like, you're about to graduate university, you got your whole life ahead. There's so many nice girls you could meet at church, which is ironic because some of the girls I know at church are the devil, but I'm like, I don't know, those church girls, man. So she was like, you know,

why would you want to bring all that baggage into your life? And I didn't look at it that way. To be fair, I was at like 21, 22, so... Oh, wow. I was like, oh, just fun right now, you know? I actually didn't see me getting together with Petta for, like, the long run. It was just like, oh, this is the wave, and I'm writing this now.

Stop. Okay. Thank you. I need a man like this in my life to be like, Ash, shut your face. Ash is muzzled in the corner right now with duct tape. Let me ask that. I'll let that one go. It's really similar we had Maddie Acton, who similar scenario, his partner had a child.

And he was like, oh, I wasn't thinking about the added responsibility that was to come. I was just like, in the moment. In the moment, yeah. This is fun. Yeah. That was literally it. So then when did you realize, oh shit, this is serious and, you know, I've got to step up potentially to be... Yeah, yeah.

When she felt pregnant with my first biological daughter, which was like probably a year after, and I was in Hawaii. So this is how bad it was. She sent me back to Hawaii for like a holiday, but it was more to kind of like separate us. Oh, right. So I went back to Hawaii and my family in Hawaii took me out and it's funny because the next day I got a call from Petta and she's like, I need to tell you something. and I was like, what's up? And she's like, I'm pregnant. And I was like, oh.

I didn't realize that at that moment, I got back, kept that news for my parents because there was so many responsibilities put on me. I was the oldest. I was the first one to go to university. And I was an international student as well. Studying in Australia, I think it was like 11 grand semester. Wow.

Yeah, and my parents were forking that out and they were working on the farm. They were doing like vineyard work. So, like, majority of the money they had from the savings and stuff was going into my education with the hopes that I would graduate uni and lift the family and take them to another level. And so all that pressure came on me.

And I didn't realize that until I found out Peta was pregnant because my thoughts were like, one, I have another responsibility, but two, I don't know if they wanted to continue supporting me in university and stuff. So I kept that from them for about two weeks. And then I was like, there's no getting out of this. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's my dad, but it's instilled in me. Like, I have to step up if I'm not going to run away from my responsibility.

So I spoke to mom. Shattered her. Like, she thought it was the end of the world. She didn't want to speak to me. My dad, on the other hand, he was really understanding. And he's like, well, you'll be right. Like, we'll sort it out. Which was crazy because I actually thought they were going to kick me, like, tell me

stop going to uni. Wow. Like, that's, it hurts me because that news normally is. It's a joyful, yeah. Yeah. It must be, I mean, you were still quite young. So even, like, stepping up and saying, hey, this is where we're at. That shows serious, me.

maturity because we all know there's a lot of people that wouldn't do that. Yeah. That would hide as much as they can and try and escape their problems. But I think like hitting them straight on just chose the sort of character you are for sure. Cheers, yeah, I was left. I had no other option. So I just thought it'd be easier to just keep it real. But it's amazing because the moment my mom found out that Petta was pregnant, she was like,

we can't just leave Petta and that's our granddaughter. So she'd made the trip to Perth to see Petta. She went over, Petta was like, I think she was like four or five months pregnant. And she met Kiara, who's Petza's daughter. And from that moment, my parents just flipped and was like, Petas's our daughter. Kiaro's our first granddaughter. And the babies that come along the way is our grandkids. There's no other way.

They didn't tell me to marry her. They were just like, you know, just do the right thing. Yeah. If you love this woman and you can see yourself being with her for the rest of your life, then that's on you. So yeah, we had Nini, who's my second daughter, my first biological daughter. And then we got married like a year after I'm having her. And, yeah, the rest is history. but that was how she came into my life and my family's life.

A lot of the changes and stuff, it was her because she had to adapt to everything that I brought to the table, not only my culture dynamics, but my family dynamics. I'm really close with my parents. I'm really close with my siblings. And as I mentioned before, I am the eldest. There's so much responsibility on me. And so, man, I mean, we've been together 13 years now,

so she obviously hasn't kicked the buck and been like stuff. I'm done, not just married to you, but married to your family as well. Because even until now, man, my parents and my siblings, they have such a big say in my life. And I've learned this over the years, which Petta has taught me where to draw the line as well. But at the start, it always used to be like, now, whatever my family says, we're going with that.

Like, my girls are all named the Tongan way. So the Tongue way goes back to how I said, your aunties play a big role. My sisters named my girls. It wasn't Petta. And that's a Tongan culture thing. And is that, was that difficult for Petta? That was very difficult.

Like, the first child, when Nini was born, I was coming up with names. I was like, I didn't do that, you would have probably murdered me. But I was like, listen, um, so I was like, in our culture, my sister names the kids. And Pezzo was like, what the hell? And I was like, you know, just this child, the next one,

then we'll think about it. The next one came. She's like, you know, why are crossing your fingers and toes? You know, it was literally the second child came. I was like, remember that conversation we had? But she's, yeah, she just took everything on. And I know it wasn't easy. it wasn't easy. Like as the years

go and I look back on it, some of it I'm like, damn, one, I can't believe, I let that kind of stuff happen. Not in a bad way because that's my culture and I'm like, that's all I knew. But like when I think about it and I think about my girls because I'm a girl dad, I'm like, bro, if one of her husbands do that, I'll be like, what?

Yeah, yeah, fully. No, no, no, it doesn't work like that. I guess as well because like in Western culture, there's a real separation of when you're old enough to not be at home anymore, you then completely cut ties of how you're it will dictate your life. Exactly, yeah.

Which is opposite. A total opposite. I mean, I'm 36 right now. My mom still has a say in my videos, eh? I'll do a video and she'll be like, message me like, I think that's inappropriate. You should delete that. And I'm looking at the video. I'm like, man, that's doing so well in the algorithm.

She's like, delete it. I'm like, oh, sucks you. So, yeah, they have a big saying, hey. But Petas, yeah, she's legend. Do you remember what it was like? I mean, obviously she had a daughter already and then you've started seeing each other. Do you remember what it was like taking on that? responsibility of an instant family yeah 100% it's funny because i

nowadays with my content and stuff i get complimented and they're like oh you're such an amazing dad and stuff but a lot of that has to go back to my first daughter to petta's daughter she i was chucked in the deep end and i didn't realize all those responsibilities until i moved in with her um because at the start when we're first dating i stayed in my own place she stayed in their place i used to go over on the weekend and you know just be the fun guy that's coming in doing a barbecue swimming in the pool and stuff and then out yeah And then when I moved in and it's like Monday morning hit and Petto's already up and I'm like still lying in bed like scrolling. I'm like, what are you doing?

She's like, I got to make lunch. I got to do school lunch. I got to prep care of for school. And at first I was just like, oh, sweet. And then a time came and I was like, shucks. Like because she was heavily pregnant. So I had to step up. I had to do the school lunches.

I had to take care of to school and stuff like that. And as I was doing it, I was like, wow, this is actually hiding. Yeah. Shocks. This is hard work. But once again, that intake. Whatever my dad's instilled in me growing up, I was like, man, I just got to man up and step up for Kiara Because I know that Nini's gonna be born and I guess in a way

What I do for Kiara is what I'm gonna be doing for Nini so but that definitely took a toll like and another thing Peta used to mention which I was totally blind to I used to go out a lot when we were still in the dating phase And when we did move in together I still try to go out a lot because uni life I was in my last year of uni and all the boys 22 yeah And the boys were like drinking and stuff and like, oh, bro, we're at the pub tonight. And I'll just dress up. I didn't even think like it was disrespectful or anything to pets her.

And she was heavily pregnant as well. And I'll be like, I'm just going to shoot off. We're just going to have a few beers and then get back. And not even a complaint or anything, which is why I thought it was the norm. I was like, oh, this is cool. This is easy life. And then later on down the line, I was like, damn. I was actually tough to say, but I was a pretty shitty boyfriend husband at the time.

So Kiara definitely made me step up to the dad role and pull my big boy pants on. Yeah. And show up. Show up was definitely something I had to do. But that's hard to admit. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I mean, it's so good that you're like, again, maturity and integrity.

That's self-reflection. Yeah, you self-reflecting. How old was she when you moved? Two or seven when she came into my life. Yeah. Wow. So like, yeah, second year of school-ish, second or third year of school, like real. High demands, yeah.

Yeah, man. Like, I think, like, for me, like, now that they're going to school and all the lunches and stuff, I found I adapt to that part of their life way more than their earlier years. Yeah, but like, yeah, you're stepping into it as a 22. There's no way I could have done that. No. And I think a lot of men would have thought the same thing because that was the normal. All your mates are still going out.

At 22, I can put my hand up and say, I only cared about myself. That's, yeah, very true. I only when I was hitting 30, I was like, oh, there's other people in the world that I should care about. Do you find it hard now not to put the same amount of pressure that you had as an eldest child on your eldest daughter? Oh, 100% not only my oldest, but all my girls. It's funny because I was brought up that way. And I don't hold my parents. I don't hold them to that because that's all they knew.

But I definitely do not put that pressure. When it comes to sports, I find myself getting in that, especially my daughter Nini because she's playing rugby and stuff. And there's never a game that's good enough. Every game she plays, I'm like, could have done better. Could have done better. And then we get in the car and pizza looks at me and she's like, you need to chill the hell down.

And it's funny because my girls are so sassy too, so they clap back. Not at times when I'm having that serious chat. And I'm like, bro, we didn't drive all this way for you to walk around. We didn't pay all this stuff and pay the toll for you to just walk around

on the field. Like, get in there. If you want to play, play. If you don't waste our time. Yeah. But when they do get the moment to like clap back, they'll be like,

bro, you're arthritis in your ankles. You can't even run them. And I sit there. I'm like, that's very true. Yeah, but back in my days when you went, unfortunately, there was no camera around, but you would have seen

when I was pretty done. With Melae, she's had her challenges with her health, with their kidneys. Can you explain what she had to go through? Yeah, she kept getting sick. And then my wife took her to the doctors, which was crazy because as a parent, you guys would know, like, you take them to the doctors. You expect, you know, quick fix, Panadol, the sweetas. And we went to the doctors and then they were like, oh, we need to do some blood tests, came back. And then they're like, we need to do further tests and stuff.

And I was like, oh, shucks. And it turned out that one of her kidney, the tube, it was tangled, but it was, like, deformed, I guess. It wasn't growing the right way. It should be growing. And so it was preventing her from, like, releasing all the toxins through her, like, urine and stuff. And so every time she needed to go tall and stuff, release toxins, some of the toxins were staying back. And eventually down the line, too much toxin obviously would be bad for the kidneys. And so when we found that out, she wasn't even one at the time.

And they're like, wow, she needs to do major surgery. We need to cut her open and put, like, a stent or something like that. to help the kidney and put all this medication, to help the cube to kind of like go back into its normal position. And then after that, we need to do a surgery again and take the stand out. And like just hearing that when she barely turned one, me and pets are like, what the hell? But she went through the surgery.

And the thing that told us was, majority of her life, she's going to have issues with her kidney. So even after this surgery and stuff, we have to keep getting her checked. And so that was a pretty brutal time. But, man, she's a tough girl because literally the day she came out of surgery, she took her first step. Wow.

Yeah, that was crazy. And as soon as I seen that, I was like, yep, this is the girl. You don't want to mess with what she grows up, though. That's tough. How did you know she was unwell? If she only one, obviously can't communicate. So what was symptoms? She was just fever.

I'm getting sick. She had a lot of fevering and we thought it was teething. Yeah. So we took it to the doctors and then he done his obs. And then I remember, I think there was the third time we took it to the doctors. And he's like, take it to the hospital. And then we went to the hospital and everything. hit from there. And it was crazy because I was still like young at the time and like this is

my first time experiencing like one of our girls getting not just your average sickness. It was like something that could be life-threatening or something that's ongoing throughout the life. And so Melle, she's a man, she's got a, she's very emotional girl. So if you guys see my videos, anything we do for her, she cries, she boils down and it always shatters my heart. I'm like, oh man, she's the one that like appreciates the little things, which is funny because we didn't like raise her that way to be like that. But I guess she subconsciously knows like, you know, life is so much more pressure than it is. It's crazy to think like at one year old, you're going, you're taking your daughter to hospital to go under a major surgery and, you know,

knowing that like, well, not knowing what, what's going to happen and how it's going to play out. And I can imagine, do you remember how you felt the day of when that was all unfolding? Yeah, I kind of, so moms my go-to. So, I'm, I can imagine I would have called and bawled my eyes up. Because I call mom, win or loss, it's always her that I call. So I remember calling her before Nina was born and all my girls. But I assume I would have called her and just bored, and she would have just been like, all good.

She's a very strong woman of faith. So I have my own faith as well. And I believe everything will fall in place, whether it's the way it is or the way it's not meant that you think it's going to be. I believe something will fall in the right place. And humans are interesting, man. we somehow find our own way to cope with things, eh? Or we hope that you find your own way to cope with things.

So as much as it was a tough time, you know, obviously we've got through it and, you know, she's good, she's healthy now. We got news when she was about six that everything was good. That was her last checkup and they're like, everything looks normal. So fingers crossed, no complication down the line. But so far everything is good. Yeah. It's so hard with parenting, especially young kids.

when you can't appreciate every moment. You know, there's so many nights where I'm, I'm like, praying for them to go to sleep and stay asleep and it's 9 o'clock and they're still awake. And then it's so hard in those situations where it's a life-threatening situation where you're like, I wish I appreciated every moment more. It's so hard. That's what makes it.

The guilt makes it so much more tough. Yeah. One thing I say with my kids, man, they boil your blood, but they melt your heart. Wow, well said. Yeah. Love hate relationship. Yeah, it is. Like, last night, we came back from the airport, like, went on the way from the airport.

Man, I was sitting in the car. It was quiet the whole time. My wife was like, you're all good? And it's because they were just bitching in the back the whole time. Like, who was supposed to sit in the middle? Who's getting the bunk bed at the hotel? All this stuff. And I'm realizing the older they get, the more overstimulated I get because they're all girls.

Yeah. And it's just like, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm just driving. And my wife looked over and she's like, you're all good. And I was like, yeah, yeah, look all good. You don't look all good. She's like, she's like, she's like, did I, did I do something or say something wrong? I was like, no, no, you're all good, babe, but.

She's like, oh, yeah, okay. So, yeah, there's those moments where you're just like, oh, shut the hell up, get the hell out of my face. And then they do something and you're like, oh, crap. Yeah. Especially girls, man. Like, I've got one of age. Excuse me? Sorry?

Especially girls? Yeah, I mean, I mean. Oscar's not fucking perfect either, bro. No, no, no, no. Let me finish first. I'm saying, especially with girls, and they, like, my daughter melts my heart, man. Like, she, Oscar, I find that I'm... You don't love them as much, yeah.

Yeah. I have a favorite. I have a favorite. I said it. I said it. I have a favorite. I have a favorite. I have a favorite. You'll be my favorite when you're older.

But, no, it's... Yeah, you're right. Like, though, just all of a sudden they can melt you back down. But with Oscar, I'm like, you need to try harder than that, bro. You're going to melt my heart. Bro, boys are hard, man. I'm babysitting my nephews. I guess I'm so used to girls.

I fucking suck. They require so much more energy My girls can sit there and like watch TV Or play with something Colorin This guy has to break something Or touch something And I'm always like

Stop stop, stop that, bro, sit down, stop that Stop there. Boys don't stop until you yell at them They break something or they hurt themselves Exactly They could be like making a sandwich And you're like, okay great Then you turn around

They're like throwing out You're like Fuck! Yeah, die Oscar's great He is great Yeah I've got to give you a massive round of applause.

Ash and I, obviously, in the content game. But what you've achieved in a couple years is incredible. And you're a very humble man. Cheers, man. But watching from the sidelines, it is so fucking amazing how you're still so humble, still so nice and kind with the accolades that you're clocking up. I was at the TikTok Awards this year. And one thing I loved was one of the highlights was your speech. Cheers, man.

And I'm going to play you just a little section that you said. Shaks, you can't get me all teary now. Oh, damn, you guys won't make me cry on this. Why is it so important in that situation to show your girls what you're able to achieve based on where you've come from? I don't know, man. That's a great question. basically I try to show them every day that like like I said in my speech

if I can do something the only way I would have corrected that is they can do it better not that I only know that they can do it better but I got as much confidence in myself without saying being cocky or anything like that I got much confidence in myself to say that I will ensure that they will do it better and raise them to do it better

but they live by what they see and I just hope that everything I do they kind of look at it that way because I look at my dad that way And it's funny because when it comes to my parents, mom's my go-to. I never have an emotional chat with my dad, like even till now. We never sit down. We either talk about rugby, talk about the kids, talk about the weather, anything but talk about feelings.

But like the day I became a dad, I don't know which moment it was, the day I became a dad throughout my life of being a dad, I've never appreciated him so much more than there's so much stuff that I realized that he's done. Frick I was in that water bro Something in that water Let me take the ingredients I don't Oh sorry boys

No no Don't you fucking dare Usually Matt cries I'm not crying Matt's a cry All the time Take your time Yeah

Me and my dad Never See eye to eye We never really Chat about Like I guess The important things

If you say But I remember There was a moment where throughout my fatherhood I realized like sucks there was so much crap that like this man did for me

that I didn't even realize and like you know as much as I show up for my girls as much as I do everything for them there's a lot of like behind the scene stuff that they probably will never see and sadly the girls they probably would never

experience as well but I've never appreciated my dad so much until I became a dad and I realized like damn there's a lot of stuff done in the dark that one he's never like raised it and talked my mom's always been one to be like i work so hard i do this i do that my dad's just i'm a shut my mouth and get shit done and that's kind of my mentality with the way i'm a dad um i mean yeah i tell the girls damn y'all are expensive bro but with that being said like i i i buckle down if there's something that i have to do

for my girls i buckle down and just get it done if there's something i have to do for my wife i buckle down and get it done. And a lot of the characteristics I have as a father comes from my dad 100%. So yeah, that's why I think I got emotional because I was like, sucks. I remember very, there was something I did and I sat in the car and I was like, damn, like I feel like no one's appreciative of me. Like no one, my wife and the girls, no one's like giving me my flowers. And then I immediately thought about my dad and I was like, shit, I wonder if this is how he felt. And it's funny because immediately I had to snap and I was like, stopping a little bitch, bro.

Just freaking, whether you get flowers, not, this is what you have to do, get it done. You mentioned something before. You said that I never had those emotional chats with my dad like you did with your mom. Yeah. Do you think being a dad now and as your girls grow, you want your girls to be able to have that chat with you?

100%. Yeah. So that's something that I ensure all the time. We have a safety word. It's called marshmallow and I tell my girls. I know there's times you feel like you can't be straight up of dad or you're scared that you're going to get in trouble. And if it comes at time, just say marshmallow.

And I'll know, like, one, shut the hell up. Two, do not get angry. Even if I need to step away a bit and kind of breathe and stuff. But just say marshmallow and I know what you mean. But it's definitely something that I, it's not that I craved for to have my dad because I had it with mom, but it's definitely something that I wish my girls never feel. Because there's been times when my mom's not around and I needed to like vent. I needed to speak to someone and I couldn't go to dad just because I was like, no, we don't

really do that. And so I never want my girls to feel that way like, oh, I can't come talk to dad because we don't really do that. And so so far, I mean, I know, even Keara, she's 20 now, but we're pretty, we're pretty tight in terms of, like, her being comfortable to, like, call me or talk to me about something big that's going on in her life. And with that being with her, like, I kind of feel like these girls will kind of have that same logic as well. Yeah, I think it's a father and son dynamic. It's really rare to see. them communicate like we would do with our mums, right? I remember my dad, when his dad died, he said to me, I don't remember the last time I hugged my father. Yeah. And he said to me,

I don't want to be like that. Yeah. And when you started to talk about your dad and now that we're all dads, you want your kids to, every parent wants their kid to be able to come to them with whatever it is. And the fact you've got a safe word, you're doing all this sort of stuff, there'd be dads and moms listen to this right now saying, well, you know, these relationships moving forward we're going to have and they're going to be open and much more accessible. and the communication is going to be free-flowing, which is so healthy for everyone, I think. Yeah, 100%. I agree.

He must be so proud as well, seeing where you're at now with your family. And even, like, I couldn't believe how well you spoke in front of a 20,000 people. I was like, damn it, he's good. But also now, I live with my mum, and she does so much. And I even just then was thinking,

I need to tell her. Like, last night she was cooking dinner. And I was like, I told you, I didn't like cauliflower. What are you a toddler? Damn it. Are you a toddler? Wow.

I wanted my bread cutter to triangle! I better call her on the drive home today. You live with her, bro. Just get home and talk about it. The amount of success that you had can be a double-edged sword because it creates so many opportunities that you wouldn't have had otherwise. But at the same time, you're talking to an audience of literally millions. And with your girls, like, they're amazing on camera.

Their personalities are just incredibly. Incredible. But then with that fame also comes criticism and fooling. That dark side of the internet. Yeah. How do you manage that? First of all, my girls, the three younger ones, they don't have gadgets at all. So they don't do iPads. They don't do phones. The only way they watch stuff on social media is if they're watching YouTube short in the lounge of us or if I'm scrolling on my phone and they're watching with me.

So in that sense, it's good because Nini, who's just got into high school, she already had incidents at school where people are like creating memes of her and stuff like that and she had no idea of and so she came home and she's like apparently there's like videos of it and stuff like people screenshoting dads photos and like making a meme out of like my facials and stuff like that

and so my wife tried to deal with it through the school and stuff but I asked Nina I was like how do you feel about that and she's like I don't really care I can't see it and so I guess that that works well but with that being said she is she's 11 I mean she's just turned 12 so she's getting to that age like just last week she's asking oh when can i get a phone when i can i get this and um i spoke about it and on a podcast earlier it's like i feel like it's my full

well me and petta's full responsibility as parents to not so much protect them from the internet but educate them and let them know like the internet everyone has an opinion everyone can say something and like i'm not trying to protect you but i'm trying to like make your skin thick because the platform that we've built and the people that know you and stuff, everyone has something to say whether it's nice or not. And it's up to you whether you accept that or not. It's up to you whether you let that saying be true or not. Which is easier said than none because we are humans at the end of the day.

I don't know. I always try to raise the positive that we've got from where we're at through social media. But I also put in the negatives and the what ifs and the safety is a big thing as well. But with that being said, like when you weigh out the risk and the rewards that we've been getting, yeah, it's funny because people, I've had comments, especially on Facebook, people that comment on Facebook, they're a whole other brutal way. Like, their comments are brutal, man. Boomers.

Bro, I know, man. They're so mean, they, like, Instagram and TikTok, you'll get fat shaming and stuff like that, hey, but Facebook, they go into, like, deep, like, roots say, and they say brutal stuff, and you're like, oh, you shit, Karen? Damn. How much ever do you put into that comment? Exactly. But one of the things I always get is like, people are like, oh, stop exploiting your kids.

And I had a giggle to my wife because we went Japan two weeks ago. And I was like, if exploding my kids means my kids get to go to Disneyland, my kids get to do this and do that, then shit, by all means, I'm going to exploit them. Like, if that's the opportunities they get. I know it sounds bad, but I'm like, if that's the opportunities they get. Because realistically, man, everything I do, every cent I get from, like, whatever it is to social media or whatever, it gets pumped back into, like, the girls and my wife and, like, all that money just, And I'm not complaining or anything, but I'm grateful that they get all these opportunities, all these experiences.

When I first started doing social media and I started getting the collabs and stuff, it used to just be me to like, oh, we need to fly to Melbourne to go do this event. But as times going and the bigger we're getting and stuff, it's more, oh, we need to fly your family over. And I sit there and I'm like, holy shocks.

I never imagined that my wife and the girls would be flying to Japan and getting to experience Japan just because of the funny videos we did. So it's a man, definitely a lot of pinch me moments But it's a crazy space to be in Yeah But it's definitely important to Educate your kids

On the pros and cons Yeah Yeah, I think we came from a world Where social media It just ramped up so quickly And there was no Monitoring like my mom And they didn't monitor me at all

It was like this new playground That everyone was just like Oh, I just drop the kids off And we'll come back Whereas now like the pendulum The pendulum swung the other way And we're so much more aware Yeah

So it's, I think it'll level out. You mentioned something in that that I thought I'll take away from, which is like, educate them. Because, like, your first initial instinct is shield them. Yeah, sure. Yeah. And you think, like, I think my kids, they're getting older, like our kids are the same, same age.

It's sort of getting into that age now where, you know, it's YouTube kids, YouTube shorts, and it's monitored. But, you know, your first instinct is, oh, take it off them. Yeah. But then you mention there, it's probably, like, best to educate. them. The fact is that someone's always going to have something to say. Well, my thought behind that is you take it off them. It doesn't satisfy that need for them to want to explore it. And if you don't show, if you don't let them explore it the healthier

way and teach them, they're going to find another way. It's just like pornography. You know, 13 year old, you can either learn about it with a chat with the parents and awkward or you can go exploring your own way. And you already know how exploring your own way goes. Yeah. Yeah, it's the same thing. I'll throw my mom under the bus here. Yes. But I remember in high school, like my mom would give me a couple of beers to go out to a party when I was like 16. And for me, alcohol... So what's her name again? But for me, it wasn't, it wasn't so taboo. My mates who weren't allowed to even look at alcohol. The other ones that thrashed it when they had the chance. Totally. That would just go overindulge. And so I think it's sometimes better

the devil you know. Yeah. Yeah, very true. Like, there's so many things that, like, I look back now and I feel like I think about some of the conversations I have with my mom, the open ones about sex. And I feel like there's trauma there because of that conversation. But at the end of the day, it actually educated it. Yeah. And I want it to be the same for my kids. And I think the criticism can also come from a place of jealousy as well. I think a lot of people would look at what you're doing and just look at, oh my God, he's going to Japan. Like, I want to fucking go to Japan. Yeah, throw me on on the next year. And it's so easy to like get their own situation that they're not happy with and take out that frustration.

There's a lot of projecting me. Oh, yeah. Even the parenting styles and stuff like that, it's like I get criticized. And I'm like, I get it. Like maybe you weren't raised that way or maybe your parents did things differently and you turned out great. But this is me and like mine. So I had a comment the other day on one of my videos because my girls had fake nails.

And he's like, I'd never give my kids fake nails. And I commented below, I was like, thank God this ain't your kids. So true. So true. I was like, shucks, I'm glad being your kids. I know everyone's like with parenting it is one of those things if you put your parenting style in any capacity out because it's not one size fits all right and that's but I think like there's a difference between expressing how you would do things and then being and then judging

how you're doing it's it's such a fine line right and especially having millions of followers like you it escalates I think every million you have it escalates how many more people are going to give you their opinion and for some reason the algorithm always, I guess because of the big following, when you go on notifications, it doesn't really show much. It just shows like, like, like, but for some reason.

We get it. We get it, right? Instead of that little substance, just a flex right there. Yeah, you know when you get so many notifications that you can't even read them? Anyway, so what that's like. What I was going to say was there's some days

where you get a top comment. Yeah. And for some reason, the algorithm was puts like the shitty comments on the top thing. Oh, happened to me yesterday. Oh, God. someone said, someone was like, oh, you must really hate your wife. And like, that one burns me up the most. But I have my response to that is what gave it away. That usually

neutralizes it. But why, like, why give me that one? Give me the one like, ha ha, you're funny. Great. That actually makes me take. From my perspective, it is such a joy to watch you and your family on social media. And I think it's so nice. There's a lot of times where people get a lot of success and I don't think they deserve it. I know I sound like I'm being jealous. But then sometimes, the right people who really deserve it like yourself. Cheers, man. They get it.

And it's been amazing to watch, and I can't wait to see what you do next. Yeah, thank you, man. It's been a crazy wave, eh? And just like any wave, man, I don't know how long it's going to last. So just trying to enjoy every moment and make the most of it. And I'm grateful that my family gets a tag along.

But now I'm in a space where I've realized, like, the growth. And I'm, like, trying to get my girls down that path and kind of, like, set them up. Which is funny because two weeks ago, we had a collab. And they wanted me and my, my daughter Nini in the collab. And so I drafted out the concept. Everything was approved. And she was like kind of the main star.

Yeah. So she was the main style of the video. And we went to the venue. And I was like, say these lines while I recorded. Said it. She kept like, it's like her head wasn't in it. So I had to off the phone and sat down and I was like, what the hell is wrong? And then she started crying.

And she was like, oh, you're putting so much pressure on me to do this. And I was like, all right, we're going to have a chat right now. We're here for two hours. We're going to make this content. Now let me tell you something. You're getting to an age where you're going to go and find work. And I can tell you now, no disrespect to anyone that works in McDonald's or works in KFC. This is two hours of pressure.

You can either choose this two hours of pressure or you can choose eight hours of standing at Maccas and selling to a customer dealing with everything that's going to go on. And I've gone through that. Kiara's gone through that, my oldest. I've gone through that first job. Yeah, 100%. And I'm like, the way we're setting things up, there's going to be pressure everywhere. whether you're making content, whether you're making things.

And I'm sorry to say this and I'm sorry to sound brutal. Because my wife was looking at me. She's like, you're being too tough. And I was like, no, no, this is a life lesson. I was like, I'm sorry to sound brutal. But these two hours of doing this content, this is work. If you want to sit on that plane and go to Japan, if you want to sit on that plane and go to Melbourne, if you want to experience all these beautiful things that we get from the content

we make, sometimes we have to lock down and do the hard things. And this is one of those times. And this is only two hours. And I know it sounds bad, but you're getting to an age where you're going to start having to find a job. And if you're, if you trust me, me and you and I made it clear to it. I was like, first of all, tell me, do you want to do content creating? Do you want to do what that does?

Because if you don't want to do that, then we don't have to do this. Yeah, then we don't have to do this. But if you want to do it, there is the joys of it. There's the awesome things of it. But people got to put in work. And trust me, I've, I've had hard when it comes to work. And doing content is hard, but it's my preference

of hard. Like, it's not, that's another line. Exactly right. But you know what I mean? Like, I've done the labouring. I've done the customer service. I've done all of that. everything is hard but when you compare content creating to that I'd pick that kind of difficulty any kind of any day it's just different pressures right yeah I mean

I get what you're saying there sometimes you're like I'm feeling a bit too pressure right here because I'm like also I've had a bunch of other jobs I felt pressure for a longstanding time it's just different different yeah and it's not like one pressure is better than the other it's just if you have the blessing like me to choose which kind of pressure you want to choose then by all means choose it and so Nini I'm having a lot more conversations

with her around that because she's told me. She's like, I want to do content creating. I see what you do and the freedom that you have in terms of making money. Even though a lot of people are like, that's not a real job, mate. And I'm like, all right, well, it's real money that I'm paying the bills with. So I guess it's somewhat. The tax I pay says otherwise.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah. And so I'm having those. And she's starting to see those benefits of like my work. And so she's like, oh, I want to do that. I want to be able to do this. I want to be able to do that.

And I'm like, that's fine. If that's what you want to do, then you got to understand some of the conversations and some of the situations I'm going to put you in. It's not going to be all like, hey guys, we just opened this box and it's all fun in games. There's some stuff you've got to lock down. And unfortunately, that's the way the world spins. And no one really cares about your feelings. So you just got to harden up and just keep moving on. Yeah, how did she react to that?

She takes it very well. My girls know it's all fun in games, but when, especially Nini and Kiara, because they're older. The two young ones, every time I try to have a, I don't even have a hard conversation with them because it goes in one year and goes out the other. They're still very young. But the other two, like when I lock down and tell them, they, they, they, they, they, they, like, oh, yeah, hopefully they can lead with example now. But, yeah, after that conversation, it was pretty good. And we've been good since then.

And my wife was able to be like, oh, yeah, I see where you're going with this. So, yeah, only time will tell, I guess, yeah. Yeah, I think, like, again, you educated her instead of protecting her from what potentially can happen because it's really easy to just be like, oh, look, today's not your day. Yeah. Or to be like, hey, look, life's full of pressures, eh? Life's full of these moments where you're like, am I doing the right thing? am I doing it well enough all the time?

You're always having that conversation in your head, whether it's work or not. So, I mean, you could have very easily been like, yeah, today's not your day. Well, come back and try another day. But you said, look, you're going to have to face it at some point. And I think earlier on is better, especially with this sort of thing. Because, like, for me, I don't know if I, you know,

like I can't still can't read a lot of comments. And so I wish, like, yeah, if someone might, you know, like you said, you're going to have to just face it and deal with the pressure. Yeah. One question that we always end on is when the girls are all grown up, they're no longer living a home. What is the one thing you want them to remember about the house they grew up in? That they always love.

It was never perfect, but it was always love, especially if coming from dad, however he tried to teach you or however he tried to raise you, whether you agreed with it or not, it always came from a place of love. That's one thing I reflect back to my parents. Because I, man, there's been moments throughout my whole life why I was like, damn, I wonder if they love me.

I wonder if they actually could have stayed home with me rather than go to work. I wonder if they raised me the right way. But now that I'm a parent, I've been so less judgmental towards them. And so I just hope my girls can get that reflection as well when they become parents and be like, damn, we shouldn't have not judged dad or mom that way because now we've got our own kids and their own shit to deal with them.

We hope they can be as kind as like we had it. So, yeah, I hope when they do get older and they live life that everything that me and my wife did always came from a place of love whether they agreed with it or not. I love that. Brother, thank you so much.

Thank you guys for having you. Absolute pleasure. Yeah, thank you so much for spending some time with us today. We'll keep watching. I had no intentions of crying on Valentine's Day, but thank you. Cheers, man. Do you know what annoys me, Ash? What's that, man?

It annoys me. This is a little gripe that I have. If I was going to have 4.6 million followers and also have a number of awards under my belt, I would be a bit of an arrogant prick. You know, I would. I see that. I'll be honest.

And it annoys me that people like Eli have all of that, and they're still very humble, still very sweet. Just come on, like, have something wrong with you. If you met him and you didn't know what he did, you wouldn't think that he has that many people that follow his everyday activities. We did do a cheeky little skit. It would have been rude of us not too.

So make sure you jump on our socials. Give that a like. Or share. because we need the followers. Yeah, we've got to get to 4.6. Statt! If you've enjoyed this episode, please leave a review. Five stars.

A couple of common words. You know what I really enjoy, Ash? Oh, here we go. The comments on Spotify. Yes, unless they're negative, and I don't like them. We actually don't get... I don't want this to invite people to give negative comments. Oh, God, don't start.

You don't get many negative comments on Spotify. If you want to have a good passion of the ego, trust me, you won't be upset. Go to the individual episodes on Spotify and then read the comments. I will. Or I'll go to social. media, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook group, or YouTube. 4.5,000 at the moment.

Not 4.6 million? Fuck, it's terrible, isn't it? One day, Matthew, one day. When I grow up, I want to have 4.6 million followers. He's probably younger than me. 4.6, he is young. Oh, God. Oh, let's get out of here.

Bye. Two Doting Dance Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and the connections to land, see, and community. We pay our respects to their elders, past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gatigal Land.