Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash - #217 The Biggest Parenting Stitch Up Of All Time

Episode Date: April 14, 2026

The guys are still recovering from what they say is the biggest parenting stitch up of all time... and the end of daylight saving has left them tired and grumpy. Matt is pare-ranting after spending all weekend inside cleaning while the kids complained, while Ash is in brag mode after Oscar had a big win in sport. The guys dissect how much pocket money we should be giving our kids for this week's Doter Dilemma. And with Mothers' Day coming up the guys reveal the epic prize they're giving away to some deserving mums.  Winner Prize:  5 nights in a 2 bedroom villa at Elements of Byron $300 Spa Credit for Osprey Spa $300 F&B Credit  Runner up prize x 3: 2 night stay in 2 bed villa at Elements of Byron To win: All entrants must be following @elementsofbyron and @twodotingdads Post a photo or video to Instagram stories showing your worst parenting moment tagging both @elementsofbyron and @twodotingdads  T's & C's Expires 31 August 2027 (strictly no extensions). Blackout dates: 21 SEP - 11 OCT 26, 19 DEC 26 - 30 JAN 27, 01 APR -25 APR 27 and 4 - 19 July 26. Elements of Byron normal minimum length of stay restrictions apply for accommodation bookings. Can only be used in a single stay. Prizes are non-exchangeable and not redeemable for cash. Please quote your voucher number when making a booking and then present it when arriving. Please call Elements of Byron Reservations on 02 6643 0569 to make reservation. If you need a shoulder to cry on:  Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

So what I'm about to say is very controversial. Oh God, here we go, yeah. Is ginger ale at its peak right now? Look, I think there's room for improvement with everything, so no. I think I reckon, I'd love to see like Bundaberg, not sponsored, are your sales at the all-time peak? I feel like it's having a moment. Really? Why? I just, I don't know. I love it.

Just, just not the alcoholic one, just like a regular one. Just straight ginger. Straight-up ginger. Yeah. Yeah, okay. It's been... I just feel like I've never been around so much ginger ale now than ever before. Can I get you onto something?

Please. The Aldi ginger ale. Who! That's exactly how I'd describe it. Where is it? Aldi. Yeah, but give me some. Oh, I will.

I will. I didn't know if we're going to talk about ginger ale. You just brought this to my attention. I don't... And by the way, I've got some here. No. You got some, don't you? Where is it?

Give it, me! Let me! Back to two doting dads. I am Maddie J. And I am Ash. And this is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good. It is the bad.

And the relator. And one thing we promise we will never do in this lifetime is what, Ash? Give advice. Except for try the ginger ale at Audi. They have no sugar and full sugar. No, no sugar. Fuck that. They're both good.

No. I'm going to say it. People who have zero sugar, soft drinks, what the fuck is wrong with you? Probably diabetes, bro. Moving on. Come on. My mum's got late on set diabetes, so you've just offended it. Her fault.

That is true. That is her fault. Mum, sucked in, isn't that? Sorry. Sorry. No, moving on. But look, I get like, I get like, if you don't like the sugar options, you don't have to have them.

I don't. That's enough about it. Don't you worry about it. Can I also... That's the last time I make you a Pepsi Max. That was lovely. Oh, you're saying that. You're who I just want to shit on today.

Okay. Here's what I'm going to shit on. The Easter Bunny! Oh, you fucking stitch up, isn't it? Just a little heads up. We are going to be talking about East and the Easter bunny. Yes.

Hopefully you're picking up what we're putting down. Yes. Carry on, Matthew. Can we just admit that Easter is the worst holiday of the calendar year? Do you know what makes it even worse?

The fact is that this time, I don't know if it's every time, I haven't taken note of the... The clocks go back, right? What the... Has that always happened? Instead of my kids being up at 5.30 Looking for chocolate,

they're up at 4th... The greatest parenting stitch up that the world has ever put forth. Fucking disaster. And I think as parents, we try and trick ourselves into being like, this is going to be so fun and exciting. Not me. It's an Easter egg hunt.

But it's like, Marley was up at one of the morning, and she was like, hey, um. Let's get this show on the road. Yeah, yeah, let's. I'm ready. You guys? And I was like, it's pitch black outside. I feel like that was the longest day ever.

Because of the clock. And also, it was like I had two crackheads. looking for their next fix all day. But not only that, the Easter Egg hunt, it's fun for about 30 seconds, and then you just become peacemaker because Marley and Lola had their baskets. I was like, Lola, this is your one over here. She's like, where is it? I'll get put it in my basket.

And then they're like, you've got fucking more than me, you bitch. And I was like, come on, guys, you both got about two kilos worth of chocolate right now. It's going to be fine. They're fucking punching each other in the face, being like, give me my fucking chocolate, you cut. I was like, for God's sake. Oscar has obviously younger sister and only one cousin, which is Winnie, my niece. Adorable Winnie.

I know she is. She's got this little glasses. It just looks like a minion. Anyway, they're both the same age, Winnie and Macy, like a month apart. And Oscar yesterday, during this Easter hunt, just knocking them out of the way. He was like, oh my God. And then he was like... The crackheads.

Yeah, he's just like, where's the next chocolate coming from? Just chocolate spilling down his mouth. I'm like, you've got to eat some lunchy. He's like, nah. What is it made of? He's a giant. And then. And then they're just high as a kite peeing off the walls.

Lola was just like, it was like she had a line of the best of Columbia has to offer. She was just gurning. Oh, yeah. Gurning against a table. Chasing that next fucking hit. I was like, Laura, hide the chocolate Easter eggs. They've had too many. So she put it away high in a wall.

wardrobe. Next thing, Lola's sitting there with a basket. I was like, how did you find them? And she was like, find what? I know. It brings the worst out. It brings the worst. Oscar was like, well, like, all right, you eat your lunch. You can have one Easter. He's like, how about two? Like, how about none? He was like, how about three? I'm like, you're not getting this, boy. You're not getting it. And it's like, well, how about this? I just don't have lunch and I have chocolate only. What about that? It's all food. He's a terrible deals. Oh my God. Terrible offers. And then, yeah, then it dragged, the day just dragged on. And for those of you who are outside of New South Wales, like clocks changed an hour,

which gave us another hour. So when we would have them in bed, another hour to go. And by then they were crashing so hard off the sugar high, which had lasted all day. So it was just the kids were just melting down. The biggest assholes in the world. I was like, this sucked. It sucks so bad. And like we set up the night before, if your kids are in the car, just maybe just turn the volume down.

We set up the night before like an egg trail to maybe to one or two bigger egg dryer. and obviously Oscar took over both trails. He was like, he took both trails. And then Macy was like, he took the ones from my lane. And it was like, for fuck sake. And then we're going to divvy them out again. And it's like, oh, my God. Do you know what Laura did to me the night before?

Because it was raining where we were. So we'll do it an inside hunt. So when it's the outside hunt, it's great. Because you can at least do that a little bit later in the day, where it's the inside hunt. And Laura was like, put the trails, start it from their bedroom. We did, yeah. Jesus.

Can I just say one thing? Don't have an edible and then put the chocolates out. Don't do that. April was like, the trail doesn't reach all the way. I'm like, make it reach, find a way. And she was like, why? And I'm like, no ridden. A mouthful of...

Hey, Laura was like, can you write some clues? And I was like, sure, I can do like a like this way. And then she was like, can you write some riddles? Oh. I was like, what's riddles? What for? The kids can't read. The Easter Bunny's not known for riddles.

Yeah, dude. Even, so I, she was like, just use chat GPT. So I was like, fucking, oh, like, why did the Easter money cross the road? They're not going to be reading that at 1 o'clock in the morning. Because the chicken had a day off. That's actually good gear. Thank you. Let me take that one down for next year.

But it was so hard because I was like, Marley's going to know my handwriting and Laura goes, do it in cursive. And I was like, it's so hard. At what sort of education do you think a bunny's going to have? Well, I don't know. But then afterwards, Marley was like, oh, clearly that was dad, because Easter money can't write. It's a bunny. And I was like... You've been outsmarted.

Fucking out. When are we just going to move on from it? Can we please? I just think... Keep the hot cross buns. Keep the hot cross buns. Yeah. Get rid of everything else.

Yeah. Hey, I don't know if you were going to like, give me the grand reveal of your athlete son. Fuck, I forgot. I know you did. Oh, you bastard. But also, I peaked. I had a little look at what? For those of you wondering what I'm talking about, Oscar had cross-country.

which is very early in the year. April spoiled it for us all and I said to her take it down because I wanted to gloat I wanted to gloat I wanted to walk I forgot anyway because of Easter Easter's just like absorbed everything Yeah my memories

I know It's taken my memories It's taken everything from me But yeah, it's just an announcement then Say it loud and proud Oscar who is known for asking people What they came in cross country And bases them off how athletic they are

with that response. One. Yes, he did. Yeah, round of applause. By March, was it a big win? I tell you what, the strategy, amazing. He went fast at the start, fast in the middle and fast at the end.

There it is. Perfect. Genius. No, he actually, it's a one kilometre race. Which is a lot. And cross country, just a long run. Yeah, really. Yeah, well said.

You know, it goes up a hill and stuff like this, but he was running in second the first lap. The kid in front who turned seven in January, my eye ad. That's performance. Get him in great. That's performance enhancing. The guy who won the grade 2 one did it with one shoe. So that

is commitment. Holy fuck. What happened? His shoe just fell off. He runs too fast. Just check your laces before the fucking race. Well, none of these kids have lasers anymore. They're all Velcro and shit. That's another problem. Oscar's behind this kid. And I'll show you. April filmed it. And April prides herself on not being competitive. But I want to know

what you think about this audio. Please. Go Oscar! Go Oscar! Go back and go! you should be attached go I'm just going to hate me for that anyway so he came past the first time

we're all there watching which is great I was like yeah good on your buddy and he was second and he like saw that we were all watching and it was like I'm overtaken if I can hit the Noss straight overtaken to first

and I was like oh don't do that you're going to run out of steam and he came back around the corner again and he was back in second because obviously old man who's much taller his dad was next to me and I'm like,

what do you feed this boy? What do you get this kid? He's huge. What do you say? He was just like, we just, shut up. Yeah, he was just like,

I don't know. I don't know. He was like, I don't even know of his mind. Like, fair, fair, fair. But he's good at everything. I love that.

He just turned to a dad and you're like, that one yours? Yeah, yeah. What are you feeding it? What do you feed that one? And then they went up the hill and you can see them get to the top of the climax of the hill,

if you will, and got to the top and he dropped into third, this little kid, Billy, who's got a mullet like Ned Brockman. Who dropped him to third? The kid. No, Oscar dropped her third because this kid, shit. Just great on the hills, this little kid.

Yeah. He was like a little whip it. Up the hill and I'm like, oh no, he's dropping a third. And I thought, oh, God, oh no. And then they do the hill and you don't see him and you see him come down the hill. And he's neck and neck in front with Billy. And the hair from Billy is running like that, and he's running like that. And poor Billy got a bit disorientated and made a wrong turn.

And Oscar just capitalized on that mistake. Wait. And he was going to overtake him anyway. He was coming up hard. He was determined. Oscar's like, yeah, that go that way. And he came back past around the final band and up the thing. And he was, as soon as he saw the finish line, he was off, mate.

And he was, I don't know. Was he pumped? He was pumped. April was also pumped. I can tell. But yeah, it stood on the podium, the whole bit. You got to be proud. I was very proud.

And I was also very, very, I was gloating a lot. That's my boy. Yeah, I was just like, well, you know, runs in the first. family, you know. Apple doesn't fall for Apple. It was great. It got a ribbon, the whole bit. Oh, man, when you're a kid, that ribbon, it's everything. It is everything. It is absolutely everything. So, we've got a champion of justice. There is definitely a hierarchy in sports. And one thing that I would have killed for that I never got would have been to be the fastest over 100 meters. Yeah, that was, that was me in the day. I can tell. I can tell. It shows.

When I was a teenager, I ran a 12 flat. I didn't ask for your life story. Which was pretty good. I didn't know. Well, it was then. Now it's not so good. But anyway, well, I'll let you know what happens with the Athletics scandal too. Oh, when's that? I don't know.

Probably Christmas. April's going to be there muzzled. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Oscar starts soccer this week. Oh, fucking hell. And, like, she's like, oh, I'm not competitive. I'm like, mate, you are competitive.

You just don't. You're in denial. You're in denial. There he is. Hey, I have to apologize, Sash. Last week you talked about the happy song. Oh, yeah. And whilst we have a number of people thankful for the awareness of such a groundbreaking song that we are spreading, there's a number of parents who were attacking us.

It is annoying that song. It's the happy song. It's more the annoying song. It's a bit of an earworm. The premise of it. Happy. But then when it gets stuck, not so happy. A lot of parents were like, this is very triggering.

Yeah. To those parents, shut up. Fair call. Deal with it. Okay, this is my podcast. And I play the songs that I want to play. Absolutely, I totally agree. Look, I can see how it would trigger people thinking, oh, I remember that from my baby screaming.

Honestly, a baby screaming triggers me, so nothing I can do about that. I did get a couple of videos of people being like, waiting for the song to start working. And I was just them in the car with a child screaming in a reverse car seat, a couple months old. I don't know. Whatever songs on, I would just turn it up and be like, drown it out. But it just didn't work. Grown it right out. I still can't drown that shit out.

Like, if my kids are just too noisy, it's just one thing that triggers me. I don't know why. When usually, if I walk into a time zone and there's a million kids and bing, bing, bing, bing, I'm like, it's like, this is bliss. And then when I'm just with the kids and I can hear them. They cough and you're like, shut up. Exactly. I don't know what it is.

I don't know. God damn it. Hey, there's a line in here that I have to apologize to Vic. What's that about? Ash will explain. This is groundbreaking. So we were talking about names last week. Kids names have someone named a kid after you.

Shout out to Maddie J Jr. Maddie J Jr. Maddie J.J. We were talking about Marley May, the word may and where May came from. Yep. And we've some, well, Vic, not me, I've done another work. Vic has stumbled across an article by Who that was written about you and something that you, Matthew J. Johnson, who?

Matthew David Johnson, has said on a podcast, by the way, on an old podcast, a failed podcast that you had with Nat Bass. It's nice that that didn't take off because then this. This wouldn't have probably taken off. This is a direct quote, Matt. Yep. From you. So last week, am I right, Vic, to say that he denied where May came from?

He thought that I thought that May was from Tony May. But I was trying to explain that May was named after someone. And he said it wasn't. But then this article says it was. What does the article say? Well, I'm going to tell you right now. This is a direct quote. Fake news.

Laura just instinctively said, let's call her Marley. Maddie J revealed. May comes from Laura's grandma, so we decided to hyphenate it, Marley May. He proudly added. I don't remember that conversation at all. That's a direct quote from Matt, so you apologize. Vic, wholeheartedly, I apologize.

You deserve better, and the criticism I gave you last week was uncalled for. Thank you very much. There you go. I'm glad that we're all back on the same page. You're fine. Get out! Biggs like, Yes!

That's a win. Look, honestly, we don't get a lot of wins over you. So that one's really nice to get, I will say. Why are you gang it up in me? We just felt like it. Okay. You guys are carpooling now? It's not very fun with the shoes on the other foot, is it?

You guys are like sharing car rides and I'm coming to here, like a fucking third wheel. I'm glad that you're saying it. Wow. All right, moving on. By the way, it's still housekeeping for those playing at home. Matt?

Yes. Do you know what's coming up? We should really know this. I do. I was just playing the silly bugger. That was me acting, by the way. You like that? And scene.

Yeah, I was like, oh, hoo ha. Ha, hoo ha. Eh, yeah, yeah. Oh, God. And there's Looney tunes. It's Mother's Day. It is coming up. It's coming up.

May 9, I believe. Is it? It's a Sunday. Yes. It's always a Sunday, isn't it? I don't know. Is it always a Sunday? How was it always a Sunday?

Did they change the date? Anyway, sorry. Change the third, no. It's the 10th. It's the 10th. Sorry, guys. It's the 10th. Jesus.

I've done a lot of apologising today. To those of you who I've just offended. The happy song, then Vic, now this. I know. Three strikes, my guy. I don't care. Sorry, Vic, I do care. Confirming.

Mother's Day. Mother's Day. We wanted to do something special for the mum's out there. And we thought, what's more special than a little getaway? Oh, yeah. And we were working on this for a while because originally we were going to do a getaway overseas. To me it was just like, it sounded grand to be like overseas trip. And then I was thinking about it.

And we were like actually fucking passports. What that would be is like giving someone a job in logistics. Yeah. For free. Yeah. It's like, I was like, I don't know. We asked the Facebook group and people were like, actually give us a domestic. Yeah.

Much easier. Much easier. So great news. The weasel over here, the weasel over here, has managed to get his hands on one of the world's best, or Australia's best, resorts. Best Western. Hotel motel. And I've gotten us, the grand prize will be, Ash. Five nights in a two-bedroom villa with $300 spa credit for Osprey spa, $300 food and beverage credit at Elements Resort Barham Bay.

Elements. Elements. That's right. Elements with an knee. Can I win this? We can do a company trip there. Okay, we've got to test it out. So that is the grand prize. We also have three runner-up prizes of two-night stay in a two-bedroom villa.

At Elements as well. At elements as well. Who did you suck off to get that? My knees are red-rored. I was going to say, out a bit of carbon burn on those knees. And elbows. I know. The things I do for this podcast.

Can I just say? Thank you. That is... No, save that applause for elements because thank you. Oh yeah, thank you, elements. Come into the table on that one. That's a good get.

So the way to win, you're probably wondering, how can I get my dirty, filthy, greasy, motherly hands on this prize? Yeah, well said, yeah. I know. I love the shock. Whatever it is you had for breakfast this morning,

have it every week. This is good stuff. We want to find the most deserving mother of a holiday. How do we do that, you ask? That's a good question. We want you to give us a photo or a video of a situation. Imagine your kids are being nightmares.

And we need you to post that on your stories and tag two doting dads and tag elements. We'll put these details in the show notes. We are then going to pick the top four and we'll post them on stories and people will then vote. The two don't dads community will vote on who is the most deserving of a holiday. Also, side note, you have to follow us and follow elements on Instagram as well. Very good. I'm sure that every parent has the photo moment of when their kids was doing something ridiculous. Like eating, lipstick.

The more chaos, the better, because it does go down on a public vote. It does. That's good gear. That's good news. And for anyone who hasn't been to elements, I mean this. I'm not just saying because we've got a great price from elements. It is my favorite place to go with the kids as a family. There's just a monster of a lagoon pool.

Oh yeah. It is enormous. And you get around by buggy. There's also an adult-only pool if you can get away from the kids for a second. And it's right on the beach. It's just, it's unbelievable. It's got everything. That's where I crashed your family reunion.

Yes. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, we've had some good memories there. This guy. Love it. So good luck. And again, all those details on how to enter are in the show notes.

Moving on. Will we ever get out of housekeeping? Who knows? We're trying. We're doing the best. It's like quicksand. It can't fucking get out. Once you're in.

I rub to our neck over here. Oh, no, I love it. I'm believing it. Hey, speaking of something sweet, we've got a potential second episode. She said make it snappy, bro. Something sweet. A second episode. There he is.

Yeah. Go on. Yeah, look, we've realized that we waffle a bit. Us? No, not us, Vic. Vic does. That we're thinking about turning all of your content and whatever we've got left over into a second ep every second Monday.

Yeah. A lot of people keep begging. Just relax. Get off your knees. Yeah. Like, you're embarrassing yourself. Who do you think about Matthew Johnson? That's my job.

We are going to do a second episode. We hear, we hear the calls, the cries for help. It's coming. We're just going to work on that date. And when it starts to come. Yes. Soon, very soon. It'll be soon because we get so much content and so many questions from the listeners,

the per rants, the lies, everything. We just can't fit it into this time slot. So we need an other time slot. Well said. Thank you. So, yeah, let us know what you think about that. And if anything you want to see, I mean, just send us a... And when I say stop begging, I'm clearly joking, because I love it.

Beg harder. I want it louder. Should we get out of this and into some breaking news? Yeah, what do we got? Breaking news? What we got. Can I just say I'm very excited for this breaking news. Okay, go.

I'm always excited for breaking news. Yeah, me too. Today I feel like you got something glint in her eye. This is where I get all my news from. Redhot. A new parenting study has found that raising daughters can feel twice as stressful as raising sons. The year-long study of 5,000 parents

found that those with girls reported higher day-to-day stress tied to emotional communication, social expectations, and behaviour management. Researchers also found that by the week's end, these parents were twice as likely to feel emotionally drained than those with sons. Maddie? What say you?

Not my Macy. I knew he was going to say this. You have a... She doesn't say anything. She doesn't speak. Exactly. You did say emotionally exhausted. That I'll agree with.

I think physically exhausted, boy parents. Because Oscar, like I say, it's like I having a kelpie. Like, we're in the car. I always wants to be the victim, doesn't he? We're in the car. This is my moment, bro. I've got two... Oh, three girls.

Fuck. Yeah, you'll be dead soon. You'll age a lot much quicker. Although, I'm starting to get some grays and you've got less grays than me now. Me? No, they're just hidden. Can I ask a quick question? Of the 5,000 families that were studied, which is very robust research work, which I appreciate.

Yeah, you've had your hands for all those 5,000 people. Do we know what age the girls were? No. I don't have that up my sleep. Yeah, I am scared of teenage girls. Oh, yeah. That scares me. Yeah.

They're horrific. They're so mean. They are mean. Hey, I was a teenage girl. Yeah, I know. And you could bully me all day. You're still. mean. My sister,

oh my God, she was so mean. Go on. She was like, she's tiny too. It was just so nasty to me. She convinced me when I was younger, because my mum always used to go, quick Beth, quick Beth, like you're going to miss the school bars. She convinced me her name was quick and Beth meant quick. And for ages. I think that's just an older sibling thing. Like, I reckon Louie's like that to his little sister and will be as they get older.

But I think girls, I'm so interested to hear what you have to say, Matt. because obviously you've got three. Well, yeah. Two that can talk. Like, let's just, let's just focus on me for a second, guys, because I'm doing it tough. It's not easy out there with three women. You say that I, like, I am the victim.

There's too much, is it estrogen? Estrogen. Same. Estrogen. Potato, potato. There's too much in my household and I'm struggling. I've got Nana. I've got Laura.

You are heavily, you and Buster are heavily outnumber. The nanny. And he doesn't have all these legs either. I know. I know. I'm like, it's just, I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. I really wouldn't. But the good thing is, though, when I'm old and, like, can barely wipe my an ass, they're going to look after me.

Whereas your kids, Ash. What do you mean by my kids? Oscar, Oscar's not, he's not hanging around. Let's be honest. Yeah, that's true. He's getting as far away from you as possible. He knows, he knows to just get the hell out of there and move on with his life. Yeah.

Once you start, like, having trouble with your bowel movements, he's like, I'm not wiping. Because I keep saying to him, like, you know, I used to wipe your bum and one day you're going to have to wipe your bum and one day you're going to have to wipe. He's like, I'm not going to fucking do it. You don't wipe his bum anymore? No. Oh, shame. I haven't wiped his bum in a long time. You miss it?

Are you like, come here? No, boy. It's like, just for all the time's sake. Thankfully, he's got a young asshole and it's a clean snap most of the time. Oh, it's the dream. It's the dream, yeah. Vigy wiping Louise bum? Yeah.

Really? Yeah, I get a wipe my bottom. I never got that. But now we've moved on to the next stage, which is, can you come here and you and check my bottom? Okay. But he wants me to be in there while he's wiping. just to give him any feedback on how he's going.

You're there with a notepad and a pen. Yeah. I was actually good at YouTube. Have you ever guys done this? I don't want the AFP knock at my door down, thank you. Young boy wiping bumhole. No, thank you. People are like, why is Vic?

I look like, she's in jail. She's in jail for looking up children's assholes. God, Vic, we just did an episode on this. Too soon. And that's why I haven't looked it up. That's the only reason? Is there, like, a way? Tutorial.

What's the best way to teach how to wipe? We should do a tutorial video. We have done one before, haven't we? Because she's asking it. I'm like, you've got to, like, it is a hard thing to teach. Well, it's a different. Do you stand up? And he says he can't reach.

And I'm like, you can reach. The body was made to reach. Lola does like a scrub. She's like, and I'm like, gentle white. She's scrubbs. She's scrubbing. But she's like, every time I wipe a bum, she goes, hey, dad, do you know what they call it a bum crack? And I'm like, why?

She goes, because in there is a crumb. I'm like, well said. That's it, yeah. She's battling to get the hang of it. Every time I watch her wife or ass, I need to fucking work on this. This is a disaster. Hard to watch is. It's just like, she's scrunch.

Does that mean Laura's a scruncher? I think she's a scruncher. I'm sure she is. I'd love to ask, but she's... She seems like a scrunch. She's, thank you. Yeah, thank you, Vig. That's all right.

Always bringing the hard hitting stories. I appreciate that. I have a question for you. Please. What's the oldest? employee you have ever come across. The oldest employee? Yeah, like you just say you go to a shop and you think,

that person's quite old to be working still. What do you think? 80s? Yeah, I feel. 70s? I feel like, Nana finished in her 70s. Yeah.

Yeah. That's pretty old. God, she's just, after retiring, just the decline. The decline. Yeah, I didn't want to say anything. I love her. The reason I asked that question is, oh, yesterday, long weekend,

went out to my grandmother's house with all the kids. and stuff to do an Eastery hunt. She loves it. She also is one of those grandmothers who doesn't take no for an answer with giving kids as much chocolate as possible. She said yesterday, she was like, what about an ice cream?

I'm like, if she's had a shitload of chocolate, she was like, what does ice cream have to do with chocolate? What do you mean? You're like, let's not forget, your mum's got diabetes, so. Yeah, well, different, not, that's not my mum's mom. Okay, so she might have contributed.

I apologize. She might have contributed it. I'm not sure. But we were there yesterday, and I said to now, and I was like, you got a bunch of new switches around the house. I'm so sorry.

I'm sick at the moment. Please don't. I need to be the victim here. I need the sympathy. I actually don't need a cough. I'm just... You're like, continue.

Continue. You're like a zoolander. I apologize. Switches. So, all new switches, electrical switches and stuff like that. I'm like, oh, because she needed it. Like, it's a really old house. She's 89, just keeping in mind.

Looks great for 89. She does, she does. And she was like, yeah, the guy charged me 700 bucks for all that. I was like, oh, yeah, okay, that's not too bad for an electrician. Like, he's really wild a bunch of stuff. And then she said to me, he's quite old. I was like, oh, yeah, okay, quite old. I'm thinking 78 years old.

Wow. 88. Is he single? Good question. I wonder if Nan's like, fuck yeah. That's my grandmother you're talking about that. Yeah, I know, and she's a beautiful woman. He's good with his hands.

But do you reckon, like, do you reckon she looks at an 80, how old? 88. She's 80. Does she look an 88 year old? And does she just see like a ring? old man or is she like damn? Yeah, I suppose like, there's that old thing where it was like, you know, when you're

in your early 20s and it was like, sorry, Vic. You're like, look at that, look at that milf. And it's like, now they're just your friends with kids. Like, you're right. Can I just say, how dare you use that terminology in this podcast? That is inappropriate and you're better than that. Shut your mouth. To, to... Arrogatry. Yeah.

Wow! Disrespect to older women. What I'm trying to say is I think your taste, your taste in the opposite sex all the same sense. Sorry, you just interrupted Vic. What's that? Sorry, Vic. Sorry, I was going to say, I think... There's mothers that are good looking at them.

Yeah. I just think there's far more appropriate ways to convey that message other than using a disgraceful term. I stand by it. To all the meals listening, I go back. And I don't. Of course I do. But now they're just women our age with kids.

Yes. So that's what I'm getting at. The older you get, who you're attracted to, that changes too. So I would assume she would be like, he's a lovely handsome man. Well, sometimes I find myself looking at 60-year-olds and I'm like, oh yeah, she's quite pretty. Gilf, if you will. So anyway, 88 years old, I thought that was fucking impressive. That's impressive.

Also dangerous. Yeah, I don't trust. I wouldn't trust that. But that would be the sort of person who, when they stop working, like now, yeah, he's just, because he knows that's it. That's end of. That's end of. So I just wanted to touch on that because I,

I wanted to know how old, like, like, I think it's, uh, I'd love to, I mean, I've never gone up to an old person. I'm like, what are you? What are you? What number are you? Can I count that high? What are you still doing here? Well, yeah. What's, what's happened? I know, what's gone wrong in your life? I can't like, cost a living, but like, you can relax, you know? Yeah. You know, you can be in a pension. You could be on a pension. Yeah. Maybe just loves the work. And they like to talk to people. Like, the biggest decline is from the lack of communication with older people. So, like, the more they can get out and talk to people. I think this is, why they invented bunnings.

Because all the old people, like, electricians, he should be getting into bunnings. I know, I got a 14-year-old at Bunnings and... They don't know fucking anything. I was trying to buy a gurney and he's like, what's that? I was like, oh, for fuck sake. Don't go to Bunnings on a Saturday afternoon. What? It's just the teen shift.

The teen shift? You want a Thursday, midday. I was like, I'm looking for a drip rock screw and he was like, we have nails. And I was like, you know what? You're fucking waste space. I just kept walking. walking. Anyway. You know who else likes talking? Nana.

Oh, I know that. Nana. This morning, there's this like little rivalry between Nana and our Nanny. That's confusing, too. This morning, she come down the stairs. Nanny was already there. And she's like, hey, how I-ya? And Nanny goes, yeah, good, well, and then Nadi just kept walking.

Oh, the shun. And she's like, hey, Poppy, how I? I was going on. Busters over here. And I was like, Nana. And she's like, what? I was like, she's about to answer your question. She goes, ah, sorry about that.

She didn't worry about it. She already answered. But the other day, sometimes... Would you call it a turf war? It's a bit of... Yeah, it's a turf war. It's a turf war. Every time I come home and they're both still standing, I'm like, thank God.

I know, yeah. It's a miracle. But sometimes I work from home and I'm on my laptop at the dining table, and I'm just watching the interaction between Nanny and Nana. You're letting it play out. Now, talking about dinner, okay? And there's a bit of cream that we needed for the sauce for dinner, right? So I'm just, I'm like, stop my, I'm mid-email and I kind of like start here.

You were pretending to email. So then I'm like, look up. And the nanny was saying, I think this cream is off. It's no good. And my nana was like, nah, it's fine. Look at the day. The day is fine. And so my mom was like, it's just on the rim, you know, it's already been open.

I've been on the rim. I love how I'll just give my mom the cycle. She's English. She's Welsh. Yeah, she's like, I ain't got a bloody bad on a bloody rim. So she's smoking in the kitchen. She whips out of Winnie Red.

And she goes, nah, it's just around the rim. The rim sometimes gets a bit funny. And then... Shemagma on the ring. And my mom goes, taste it.

Taste it, it's fine. And then the nanny goes, I don't really want to taste it. She's trying to poison her. It smells a bit funky. And my mom's like, just go on. Put your finger and try that.

And the nanny's like, I'm not going to taste that. It smells pretty off. Yeah, fair. And then my mom. Mom's like, oh, come here, funny hell. Put their finger and she's like, yeah, that's pretty off. I literally going to, like, play it off.

It's fine. It's fine. I was like, I was like, Mom, do you want a glass of water? She's like, nah. There's all the wrong with this cream. I'll have another sip. I started smelling this, like, off cream. Oh, dranson.

My fucking mom's trying to make the nanny taste this off cream. She was trying to poison her. Trying to poison her. Yeah, she's like, you come into my yard. Yeah. This is what fucking happens around here. I've had that cream in there for months. Wait for you to have a crack at it.

And I was going to be like, yes, you should. Drink it all up. Like the poison apple in the wicked witch of the fucking whatever. Put your finger in there and taste it's pure cream. You'll love it. She's the villain. She's like, I can see the mold grows up. There's a film on top of mold.

It's fine. Top it off with this bread. It's a special furry kind. God. I remember when you were like doing the hiring process and she was like... Just sat there in the corner, smoking a cigarette. Yeah, just looking at the candidate

that's been like, if I'm better than that one. How many kids have you raised? Being replaced. Yeah, she's like, well, actually, I haven't had any kids myself. Ah, ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! I've had five. Thousand! And I was a teacher.

Oh. So what's it? What, like, have you addressed it with... None of? A little bit. Also, the nanny can speak Spanish. Oh! And so,

Nana can speak Welsh and the kids are like, fuck that I don't speak Welsh. There's nothing sexy about Welsh. How does Welsh go? Give you an example. Kariadba? Kariadba, Phangoklan. What? Why was I expecting like Scottish? It means something. I can't remember.

Hagus. It's like, it's Celtic. It's like real, like real old time. When Spanish is sexy. Spanish is great. The kids are like, oh yeah. Paiela. Oh, baella.

She's like, what about some haggas? They're like, oh, get out of here, Nana. You're eating, hit huckus before. Yeah, that's some good huggers. And then, what about this paleo kids? Nanny, nanny, nana. Nana comes back from her Spanish lessons. Trying to weasel away back in with these kids.

It's gone. If Nana just pulled away a little bit more, you wouldn't need the nanny, right? You heard it Whoa No, I'm just kidding There's a line And you've just crossed this up Take this out

There was a parent Who was like How's the house going And as a joke I said which one Leave that in You said this You said this yeah

Well don't I just go Fuck myself then Vic Will that make you happy? Yeah Yeah Come with something original next time Okay Hey

I know I'm fuck Oh my God I've turned into my mum Oh Oh I got You guys have eaten her to hug us before.

Don't speak that Spanish crap. What about Welsh? Sorry. Matthew, I have a parenting hack to show you. It was a video that I saw on a reputable platform. I thought it was genius. Oh my God. It's his boy.

And it says, we let our son stay up past his bedtime. But the rule is he has to be running. The moment he stops, it's bedtime. Oh my God. So this kid's doing laps of the house with obviously his sleepy toy. It's just in case he drops mid-run. Oh my God. That is very clever.

So bedtime is solved, everybody. He looks exhausted. I know. He looks like he's been crying to. Like, stop, my legs hurt. I think it's genius. So I wonder at what point he just goes, oh, this is not worth it. That is, try.

Can you please try it on Oscar? I'll try it on Oscar and report back. And also, Docs, if you're listening, it's a joke. It is a joke, but April's best framework for Doc, so. That's all good. Yeah, we've got a new. We've got, we've got someone on the inside. Perfect.

I won't mention her name. We have some pair rants, Ash. Whoa, oh, I want to be freer to say what I feel. Man, I feel like a parent. Hey! And if I just before we go on to the pair ramp, from the good listeners of this podcast. Can I just, I'm going to give you a parent,

and I'm also just going to say, I know that people will roll their eyes at this one. Oh, God. Okay. I understand people must sit there and go, shut up, Matt. Your bloody pair rant is just, get some perspective on your fucking life.

Okay, we can't wait for this. Okay, I get it, I hear it, and with that warning in mind, I'm still going to say it. I just want to get it off my chest. Go, go for it. We're renting out the Allodullah House. We have our first guests are booked

in to stay in a matter of weeks which we are very excited about because this house has been an absolute money pit for a couple years now and we can't afford to eat in our household. Not your usual diet anyway, like marinar and lobster and caviar. What are you down to?

Okay. Just, just... We're down to two kilos of caviar on week. Just sushi. So we went down, it was Easter weekend, went down on Thursday, came back on Monday night

and we just cleaned. You spent the whole time cleaning. We just cleaned. We've just got every nook and cranny. There's just so many things that we've just accumulated and just put everywhere. How did you clean with the kids? That was the problem. It was raining the whole weekend except for the last day, but we had to leave.

So the kids were inside and so we're trying to clean with like poppy attached to me. Marley and Lola are bored shitless. So they're just like putting stickers on the wall. And I'm like, you know, it's shit. just I'm trying to be patient with them as well, when I'm like, for God's sake, please, just every time I clean one room, I go to another room, come back to that first room, that room is now messy. So the, and the kids were like, we want to do something.

And I'm like, it's not about you. It's about us for making some fucking money from this house. Okay, do you get that, Marley? No, they probably don't care. Do you understand? Nor do they care. No. No.

We were more tired coming back from that weekend than we are from any other weekend that we've enjoyed. I can't believe you're committed to cleaning when the kids were there. The level of admin to get through, Ash, from start to finish. I was driving back last night And I was just like I'm exhausted And this is just for one booking

What about the other booking? Because then we have to Once the house is set up At a level, at a level Once it's ready to go And I was driving back And there's a song That's a song that I think

Makes you contemplate life More than any other song That's called the happy song No it's clocks by Coldplay I was driving It's a montage song I was two and a half hours into the drive back

And I was just like What is life It's a montage song That and like As we go That sort of Right? Yeah, yeah.

And then Law was like, I need a shit. And I was like, I go. Fucking took 20 minutes in the McDonald's doing a shit in there. I was like, just want to get home. So what's the rant here? Just the fact that. Live in general. Just the fact that we had Easter long weekend, which let's just recap and say the worst

holiday. I can't wait for it. It's a phase. And then we just spent the whole weekend. And then like the one day it was nice. We're frantically trying to clean up the last like bits on the last day. Didn't even get to swim in the ocean. on that last day when it was nice and the sun was out.

We took the kids for a swim at like 5.30 at night when it was freezing. And they're like, this is cold. And I was like, enjoy it. This is the only outdoor time we get. That's my parent. Okay. And there I'm done. I'm finished.

It's off my chest. How do you feel? Better, I think. More than anything, I feel guilty for the kids because they didn't get to have like a. No, stuff. No, I feel good. And then this morning that they work up and they were like, what are we doing today? And I was like, I thought that was going to stay at home with,

Nana and they've actually got holiday care. Ooh. Which is fun, but they have so much fun. I know, but they were like, we don't want to. Today was bike day again at Oscar, so I'm expecting carnage. Yeah. They got golf day. Golf day?

Then we go Iceberg's Day. What else? We got totties. A totties is at the top of the hill. It's put putt, putt golf. Give me a break. Yeah. The putters are...

Guys, I'm fucking opening up here emotionally. The putters are gold and the balls are diamonds. Okay. Are we all going to blazer? Read the pair around. This is a Perrant from Celeste. Hey Celeste. What a love, thank you for writing in, by the way.

Yes, I appreciate that, yeah. I must vent, says Celeste. Better yet, I'll be the translator. Daycare Easter special. Leave work early so you can also collect your kid early. Continue to pay full rate and give us the early mark. So I think what she means by that one is on Easter weekend, you do the Easter hat parade, usually on the last day of term.

On the Thursday, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and you go in, say, 2 o'clock, or whatever to do, watch all the kids do their Easter Hat parade. But then you can't leave them behind. Without your kid for the next couple of hours, you've got work to do. And then all of a sudden it's like, okay, well, you're leaving at 2.30, whatever, because a parade only goes for so long. And then you're still paying a full rate, a full day.

Do we get like 20% back? Because they're going to do it 20% day? No. So that's the first one we've got here. Yeah, please continue. And then public holidays. Enjoy the time with your kids whilst we enjoy your fee payment on your day off. Like, can we honestly, the parents of this country need to ban together.

and protest at how fucking ridiculous. And this is to the system, not to the early educators, because we love the work that you do. It's priceless. Yeah, this is not directed at preschool teachers or so. We should not be paying daycare fucking fees on public holidays. For God's sake. At least give us a day in lieu.

Like, come on. It's like, it's criminal. Imagine you're paying $200 a day and you got Easter long weekend, again. The worst weekend of the year. The worst weekend of the year. And you get in charge $400. for daycare days you can't even use. We're just getting bent over and absolutely reamed.

Reamed by the Easter Bunny. It's like, have fun looking after your kids today, but we also need 200 bucks for you to look after them as well. What for? No, no one's getting paid. No, so if they're, okay, give us a day, give us a half day in Loo somewhere. Give us a half day, man.

Where it's like, hey, these public holidays in next month's bill, you'll get deducted a half day, right? Because you paid a, I'd be happy with that. Thankfully, I'm out of that phase now, but I know there's parents out there that would much rather work on that Friday to get paid the money and have their kid in daycare. But no, they get reamed twice. Twice. They have to pay daycare feed and they don't get paid to work. Okay, three times, then they're still going to look after their kids.

They really, really wanted. Also, can I just add to that, Celeste? If I may, not to hijack your pair rant, but just to add a bit of icing on top. The daycares that get annoyed when you don't tell them in advance about, the holidays you're taking. It's like, well, what does it matter? You still, I'm still getting charged for the day. So whether I tell you a month out, a week out, the day before, makes no fucking

difference. It's because they can slide a casually and make double the cash. But totally. But if you're going to get annoyed, it'll be like, hey, can you just give us a heads up? It's like, well, yeah, reimburse me for the fact that you're making more money on the days that I can't be there. Like, at a principle, I'm not going to tell you at all until 10 o'clock the day off. You're going to miss out on that money, all because you got pissed off with me for whatever.

And look, I know what's going to happen here. There's going to be people that are going to come at us now and be like, well, you had the kids. Why? You don't have fucking kids. You don't understand. Come at me, bro. Come at me.

I'm here ready. Every dollar count, especially at the moment with cost of living. There's a war. Well said. And you're still got to take my 200 bucks for a day that no work is getting done whatsoever on site. Very good. I think it's ridiculous. And just offer the, hey, you are being charged for this day because admin-wise, it is.

probably going to be a much easier to let it roll. But next month, there's a half-day discount on one of the days that we reflected in the invoice. I remember April going head to head with the director of the thing all the time. I paid to watch that. Because I feel, she felt like the invoices was so scattered and so all over the place. And it's like, why is it so all over the place? And they manipulate it to make it work for them.

Not the teachers who get absolutely reamed as well by having to work all these hours with a bunch of fucking kids and are understab. But then old mate who owns the place Doesn't care about the kids. It's just laughing it up. And his Ferrari. Just, yeah. Two things here, either we start a daycare or you run for Prime Minister.

I would go with neither of those options. Thank you. Just let it marinate. Honestly? Don't need a knee-jerk reaction? Nope. The answer is no. Ash, the fact that a housekeeping ran for fucking three quarters of this episode.

See, we do need another episode. I know. I know. Housekeeping is just, I love it personally. It's out of control. it's like a vine that we've It's a boganvilia that we're like We'll play out of it. We don't even announce

Houseca, we announce that we're out of it Yeah, we announce we're in and start with The arrogance now of us The assumption is just starts with housekeeping Sorry, sorry guys But quickly, time for this Now you need us more than ever Know that we still have each other

You can send us your doting dilemma You can send us your doting dilemma Ella, Ella, Ella Doting Dilemma, Emma in the Facebook group has asked, What's the deal? Sorry, with pocket money. What's the deal with pocket money? Is it in your pocket?

What if it's on the bench? There's no pocket money if it's on the bench. She said, very good. What if it's in a wallet? And it's wallet money. For those wondering, that's Jerry Seinfeld. He was just left. He's just left.

My eldest is almost five, and I want to start teaching him about the value of money. I'm thinking $2 for the school canteen. Each week is automatic. but money for the money box should require some household jobs and some things are just expected, right? Like cleaning up toys and maybe sitting the table for dinner? Ooh, geez. What is everyone else doing?

Ash, what are you doing in your household? Oh, pocket money's not that prevalent at this point. I think putting your toys away, just do it. You're not getting rewarded for that. Yep. Either you do it or I do it and I'm not getting rewarded. If anything, I'm being punished for doing it. It's like brushing, I'd say, like putting the toys away.

It's like brushing your teeth before bed. Yeah. It can pay for that. If you're all going to play with something, else put away what you did to start with. You're not getting rewarded for that. Full stop. But sometimes I'll go to Oscar.

I'll be like, hey, I've got a clean mummy's card. Can you just come down and give me a hand? There's a dollar in it for you. Pretty loose on the amount. If I can get away with less, I will. The good thing is the 50 cent coin is bigger than all the other coins. So I play on that fact where I'm like, this big coin could be yours. Sometimes Lola's like, I actually found like a couple of gold coins.

And she's like, what can I buy with this? And I was like, like a chocolate milk. But she's like... That's exciting. She's like a doll house. Yeah. Can I get like, so new dress? And I'm like, I'm going on a shopping spree.

Yeah. I was like, yeah, good luck with that. We used to in our household have a little jobs chart. So it would change. It was on rotation. So there was five kids. Sometimes you would get like, if you'd clean the kitchen after dinner, like do the dishwasher, do all the washing up.

Other times you'd be on bathroom duty. So you'd have to on the weekends, do a full clean of all the bathrooms in the house. Yeah. What's a reward on that? I think I used to get like a fiver. Yeah. I think those jobs. And I was the one who would hold on to my money.

My older brother would just spend it in a heartbeat. That's me. I would sometimes steal the money from others. That's also me. Very good life lessons. I don't remember how. Hang on. Call mum.

Oh, here we go. Don't tell her anything I said about. She never picks up a phone up. She's on her phone 24-7. She watches Instagram. Hello. Hello. How are you, Nana?

Hey, Nana. Hello. I miss you. I miss you too. Going off to Japan? I know. I'm back. Go on, been and gone.

Yeah. Yeah. He's booked in for another holiday, Ellie. Yes, please. I'll call you later and tell you all about it. That weekly cat-up. Where are you? The nation.

Sky's the limit. Ellie? Oh, world cruise then. No, I'm going to Singapore. Are you fucking, sorry. Yeah. I'm going to Similu first, then I'm going to Singapore. I'm doing it all.

Singapore's nice. Yeah. Is it? Well, it's clean. Yeah, I like. is great. That's confusing. Why are you going to Chinatown in Singapore?

Well, I don't know, but it's good food, good markets. Hey, Hannah, sorry, Nana, quick question. Quick question. Do you remember? Yes, okay. I will come on a cruise, yes. Well, I've seen you on a cruise. You enjoy yourself way too much.

Question is, do you remember when we were growing up, we had chores to do, like, I'd clean the toilets and we'd do weeding in the backyard? Yeah. Keeping in mind this is back in the 90s, but how much did I make? As pocket money. Oh, you had options. Okay.

You had options. Yeah, you had options. And if you took nothing for a month, then we would go to somewhere like Lone Pine with the koalas and the kangaroos and all of that. Okay. Okay. What would I normally go for? Oh, all of you kind of went for the day out. Oh.

I mean, I was going to give you a day out every now and again anyway. She swindled you. That's because I was also. Sorry, I owe you, ma'am. I was stealing money as well. Do you know what the interest is on that money she owes you? It's ridiculous. Okay, thank you, Nana.

Okay, bye-bye. Bye. Miss you. Love you. She wants to go on a cruise so bad. Good news is I'm going to take her. Oh, my God. Vic, what are you with Louis?

Well, now he's at school. He's like in the whole canteen economy. So he's like very money-focused and money-driven. So I've started giving him 20 cents a day because the mornings are awful. To get his shoes and socks. on, teeth brushed and standing at the door with his bag. Yeah. 20 cents can buy him a breadstick, but I'm trying to teach him that if he puts it all together,

by the end of the week, he could get a fruit cup or a milk cup, which is his favorite thing. Yeah. That's good. I like that. Yeah, but he never does. He always buys a breadstick. Yeah, fair enough. He can't say no to the breadstick. He's like, he's like, just want to imagine.

He's like, God, give me the fucking breadstick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I need it. I need the breadstick. I just can imagine him very much. can imagine him be like going up to the can't be like, what can I get for this? And she's like, just a breast stick buddy.

And he's like, that'll do. Yeah, she's like, but if you save it up this week, nah, stuff like. Just give me the breadstick. He's, I'm just going to say he'd go up and he's like, just give me a pot of noodles, a little juice box, give me a little quench icy pole. I think this will cover everything.

Slards at 20. I'd like my change in ones, believe. Yeah, I only really remember getting pocket money like when I was more of a teenage. major. That's because when I was, what, 14, 15 or whatever, to get a six pack of throwdowns and a pack of siggies, it was like 15 bucks. And I was like, I just needed to do enough housework around the house to get 20 bucks. And my weekend was sorted. That's all I remember. Before that, don't recall. Probably because of the throwdowns. When you say

throwdowns? It was like Tui's new throwdowns. Remember the little bottles? No. Okay. All right. Okay. All right. I'm a dead shit. It was a pack of, it was a I think you meant they were like lollies. No, no, I went straight for the hard stuff. Hence the sobriety. As, as how old were you at the time? Oh, 15?

15, cosplaying as a 50-year-old man. Literally, I pack it a long beach and some throw-downs. That was a weekend. Sorry, Mom. Hey, Mom. Yeah, Mom knew. Mom, new. For sure.

Hey, guys, we should wrap this up. I feel like a throw-down on a long beach. Thank you very much for listening. Vic, I'll have to edit out. I feel like I was swearing a lot in that episode. You're a real friend. hot today. I know. I don't know what happened. What happened? Did you have sex again? I did. Yay! There it is. Thank you, Laura.

With Laura. It's so... With Laura. Just checking. If you enjoyed this episode, please, we would love it. As always, if the review would be left, either on up a podcast or on Spotify on the individual episodes. Okay? That's on Spotify, yeah. Correct. Yes. Or you can join us on social media, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook group, flaring off and YouTube for these weekly episodes. And also one last request. Hang on. Hang with us.

Send it to a friend. Another parent. Right now, go into that little copy URL link and send it to everyone. Actually, just quickly on that, I was at Spotlight, my favourite shop. And I had a little crack at one of the kids because they were just being shitheads as they do. And then I'm like walking down an aisle and someone was like, oh, my friend sent me a podcast, I love it. And she obviously overheard me having to

crack at the kids. I was like, oh, I'm sorry. What you fucking behave? And then I said to David, I'm like, fucking hell. Just quickly, before we go, Nana's just called me like 12 times. Oh, God. God, I've just, like, once you get started. The dementia's set in.

She said, you took a star instead of money, and you could convert the stars into different things. So the cinema, lone pine. And then the pinnacle was a day at Dream World. So, like, the end of the year. And she says, you always aim for Dream World, which was good because I had an annual pass. She had it dialed. Let's get out of here. See ya.

Bye. Two Doting Dance podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respects to their elders, past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gatigal Land.