Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash - #221 Losing Friends & Making Enemies

Episode Date: April 28, 2026

It's been a tough week in parenting for the guys - Ash is pissed his kids keeping wasting paper. While Matt's thinking about lying to one of his kids about their birth date which got them wondering why are we so fixed on birth dates in the first place?!  And Matt confesses he and Laura have crossed a line they can't take back. The guys dive deep into a Doter Dilemma on babysitters' ages and we're back with more hilarious takes on what we thought about parenting before having kids thanks to Aldi. Consider yourself a smart shopper? Take the ALDI IQ Test today at www.IQ.ALDI.com.au and find out if you’re a true grocery genius... or not. ALDI. Good different. If you need a shoulder to cry on:  Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Boy, have I got a story for you. Oh, yay. What are you got for me? Boy. You have four stories at the moment. Have you ever heard of a Yowie? Oh, yeah. Yep, beep, beep, beep, beep, yep.

Have you ever seen... The little chocolate Yauys? No. Oh, a real Yowie. They look nothing like a chocolate. I feel like a false advertisement. Have you heard about them? Not really.

Like, what? Have you ever seen a Yowie? No. Have you ever met a Yowie hunter? No. No. I was confused with it. is going.

I feel like I've been set up. No. Okay. Welcome back to Two-Goting Dads. I am Maddie J. And I'm Ash. And this is episode 221. What?

Yeah. And it also happens to be a podcast about parenting. The good, the bad. And the relatable. And we will not give any advice. Absolutely not. End of. Ash, I took a taxi, an Uber.

If you will. I will. Lovely older man. I would say he's about late 50s, maybe early 60s. Hard to know exactly. That's considered middle age now. Very middle aged.

And he was a really sweet old man. He was like, hello, how are you? Clean car. Just a very normal type person. A run of the mill sort of guy. Very run of the mill. That's what you think? We got talking and he was like, what do you guys do?

Talking to me and Laura. And we're like, oh, we work on social media. And he was like, I have a social media page. Oh, God. And I was like, oh, fuck, what do you got? And he was like, it's called Yowie dash X. X. So it's Yowie porn.

And I was like YOWYs. Oh, like Bigfoot. He was like, yes. Like Bigfoot. Oh, you didn't get a Bigfoot guy started, did you? He was a Yowie hunter. Do they exist? According to this guy.

Okay. Absolutely. So that means Bigfoot would just be like a big Yowie? Yeah. What about Lockneck's monster? That's right. I was like, do I go there? But he reckons that the Yowie, they've been around since the beginning of time, almost.

They are eight foot tall, a couple hundred feet. kilos and they have a cloak of invincibility type. Do you know the predator how the predator can, it can hide so it blends into its surroundings? Zero stars. Let me out. Like a chameleon. A chameleon, yes, well said, Vick. Karma, comma, comea, comma, comea, comma, comea, comea, came a cameo. They are perfect. And he had, he had a number of encounters with these yawees and he said that one of these times he was being attacked by Yawi. However, he now thinks that, he now thinks that, he had a number of the Yowie was saving him from being abducted by aliens.

Oh my God, get out of the Uber. I was in an, it was an hour-long Uber trip and I was like... I don't talk to my Uber drivers for this exact reason. I get in and I go, I hope you don't mind. I'll put my headphones on so I don't hear your crazy jibba jabber. He was going on a Yawi hunt in a couple of weeks and invited me along. Can we take along? Please, can we go?

That's something I'm interested in. We would never return. Are you kidding? Well, Vic would be sitting here on. a Tuesday being like, where the hell of the boys? And we're like, we're here! Cloak of whatever it is. What do you call it? I say invincibility.

Cloak of invincibility. Invisibility. Invisibility? No, I don't know. Look, in a world, like today's world, it's nice to believe in something. It's harmless. It's harmless. It's a victimless crime now.

All he's doing is enjoying the outdoors. Trying to find, although he does find one, he's fucked. But that's the problem. They can't take photos of the Yowie because they're always camouflaged, which is why they haven't been photographed, but they walk like spiders. Yeah, it was a lot. It was a lot to take in. Wow. That's scary as hell.

That's it. I'm housekeeping. That's what a huntsman would look like if it was a human. Huntsman. Oh, Hansman. We've loved to get through. And I apologize for telling that. No, I liked it.

I didn't know it was a thing. Well, now you know. What do you got for me? Mother's Day, Matt. You have a mother, I believe. She lives with you. Correct. And you also have a wife.

Who is a mother? Yes. Have you organised Mother's Day gifts for these people yet? Oh, no. Okay. Thank God. Oh, thank God. What will you get April?

Don't know, whatever you get. I'll just get the same thing. Flowers? Nah, they just die. They do just die. I like to get natives. They last longer. Yeah, okay.

I think flowers are very funeral-ish, funeral-esque. Short-term game. Yeah. She's going to get the best sex of her life. Not. What? Serious gifts. I haven't really thought about it.

I'm sure the kids will get something from school. Breakfast in bed? Yeah. Although she gets up before me. Can I just say... I'll have my eggs runny, thank you. Can I just say breakfast in bed sucks? It's a mess.

It sucks. Sorry, Vic. I know you're all for it, but it's just... She's so sad. It's like, oh. It's just... Bed is not designed for eating. Pizza, yes.

Breakfast? No. Pussy, maybe. Whoa. So, Vic, sorry, take that out. Take that. No, leave that. I had to go there.

So, call me ash. Mean, but also true. What are you thinking? What are you going? What are you thinking? I think maybe we will go out for breakfast. Not in bed. Take the bed with you.

Set the bed up somewhere. Yeah, a table for two and double. I don't know. I think what I'll do, I'll get the kids to write some kind of a letter. And I will also write a letter. Something sentimental. Maybe even a printed photo. Very nice.

There you go. But also, if you are a man listening to this and you're like us and have not given much thought to Mother's Day, just write it down. Do something. Do something. Anything. An active service. A full day of acts of service. That's what I'll probably do. I'll probably just, maybe I'll finish the renovations. Maybe I'll start a new one. I don't know. You never know with me. And we'll just find out on the day. But I think the kids will get some stuff from school, which I can put my name on the bottom. I'm over, but they won't notice. And to any mum's listening, who aren't you in for a treat? Look at us. Look at us. Dan's already bought my present. Oh, hang on.

What about the brag over here? Good one, Dan. He told me yesterday. I was like, ooh. What do you got? He's like, it's really good. Oh, well, that's fucking. That's dangerous.

Yeah. You never say it's good, just in case it's not. Didn't Ricky Stewart get his wife a first aid kit once for her mother's day? Or was that a birthday? Ash, you're going to say the name Ricky Stewart. I think you have to get some context. He's a football coach.

For the Canber Raiders. And he got his wife a first aid kit. That's love. That is love. That screams romance. Because if she hurts herself, he can, he's readily available to help fix whatever ailment. Beautiful. So caring.

Exactly. It's got levels that present. Vic, what's worse? First aid kit or an iron? Or a vacuum. Definitely an iron or a vacuum. That's bad. That's extra work.

What if it's a vacuum? But I say, guess what? The vacuum is for me. because I'm going to take over all the vacuuming from now on. Oh, then I love that because that's an extra gift. Don't touch my vacuum. Hey, Ash, breaking news. No, sorry, Vic, I apologize.

Wow. I'm high off caffeine right now. Sorry. And caffeine and gossip. The look of shock in the faces in the room. What is he doing? All two faces. Sorry, I have some exciting news.

You do. Is that better? That's great. We have a cot. Some people a number of weeks ago would have seen the installation of a cot. Also, I didn't know this, Ash, but our old cot used to have a side which would go

up and down. It would be easy entry of the baby into the cot because the side would come, would drop down. Because you're like, a lot of the time you're like, you're going to get right deep in there. Think of the back. Oh, yeah. Think of the lower back there as you like, it's very arch prone. They're too archy, too archy. And I was installing the cot and I kind of realized after the fact, I went, oh gosh,

there's no, there's no, there's no, down side. We're all, they're all fixed with screws. And then people, hundreds, if not thousands of them, said, don't worry, you idiot. They no longer do a drop-down side cot because of safety concerns. So if you're out there looking for a drop-down cot, they're extinct. And does the mattress go on different levels? There he is. You can raise the mattress. Also, someone did say, if it's still not quite high enough, just go a double mattress. There you go. But that means you've got to pay for two matches. Not a problem. Also, just on that cot. Okay. How old is Poppy? She's six months.

Okay. Now, I could be wrong here. Yeah. But I did say during an episode before Poppy was born, I think we had your wife on. I think it was your wife. Lord is your wife. I think that was her, yeah. I think that was her.

I said, this isn't a direct quote. I have to go back and find it. But I'm certain I said that I bet you. that this baby will be six months old and the nursery will still not be ready and you've proved me absolutely right. Why are you going to attack me like that? Why not?

Why are you going to be such a dick? Because that's just how I operate. What's that about it? I just thought it'd be funny because the performer... You think it's funny that I'm going to laugh at myself that I'm so useless. Yeah. Okay, I've got three kids here, mate.

I've got three kids that I'm trying to raise. Yeah, but you keep forgetting you've got three. With an absent mother. You keep forgetting you got three. You're like, oh, I've got two daughters. How? dare you? Well, how dare you not be prepared to have the nursery ready when needed? I've done it. It's probably been sleeping in there? Not yet. She's about to. Still.

It's like, here's a cot. Don't touch it. Now, just hear me out for a second. Hear me out. It is more work at this point. She wakes up quite a lot. It's more work to leave the room, go into her room, try and pat her on the back, leaning over, arching the back, so much unnecessary strain to then pat her back. to sleep rather than just like lean over in the kind of side bassinet. Do that in bed. I'm more thinking of like a sense of belonging. So it's like she's coming to the house. She doesn't have a space that's hers because there's a bloody yoga machine. She doesn't know.

She has no idea. Well, maybe not. Maybe when she's in her 20s or 30s and going through therapy, they'll dive, deep dive and be like, you know what? I never had a place to call my own for the first six months of my life. That's enough out of you. Okay. Can I just say, though, if you put her in her own room, she might sleep through.

Because you can't smell the breast milk. Exactly. Boom. This guy. The breast milk stopped months ago. I can't even smell it anymore. It keeps me up at night. Speaking of kids.

What we ever speak about? Speaking of kids on a parenting podcast. The thing that frustrates me about children, Matt, is that they have no... How long have we got? 45 minutes? I don't know. How long do these episodes usually go for? I black out and wake up and we're finished.

And you're like, what do you think about this? I'm like, what? April? April, where am I? Like, kids just don't have, just seem to know the value of things or that, for example, Oscar, he's taken a keen interest in drawing, which I love that. That's great. Because he's very creative, expression himself, love that.

If he's like, put something on TV, can you put like a drawing tutorial of a dinosaur? Yeah, fuck, love that. Boom. I went to the toilet the other day and I came back out and there was paper all over the floor. And I thought, fuck, hell, he's wasting all this paper. He, like one, two, what are we talking? I'm talking like 10, 15 pieces on the ground. A4?

A4. Expensive A4, good stuff. Like the stuff you use for the printer. Yeah, it was from the printer tray. He took it from the, okay. That's all we've got. Is there a difference in papers? Well, we sometimes have the lined paper in the ring binder.

Oh, do you? That's cheaper. That's cheaper. Yes, it's lined with gold. The ring binder is diamond. Okay? And I was like, what the fuck's going on here? And I was like, bro, you can't waste this much paper.

Pick it up and there's a tiny little drawing on it. And I took another look at him. I doubled back the look. And he was drawing with a lead pencil. And he had a rubber in the other hand. The audacity. And he's still just like, yeah, tiny little mistake. Next.

I was like, rub it out, bro. You have a rubber in your hand. And the pencil had the rubber on the back of it. Here it was double rubbering. He was double rubbering. He was double rubbering. And he still was, waste and paper.

I don't understand why kids, like the slide is blemish on a piece of paper and they're like, it's not good. Discarded. I know. I found an old, like scrapbook that we had, like much like your ring binder thing with the lines. And I opened it up. So you do know what they are. Yeah, mine aren't covered in gold.

And then I was like, opened it up and it's just wasted pieces of paper with a drawing. Smack bang in the middle. Like he's taunting me. Just rub it out. Do you know what I've started using? The Woolies and Coles paper bags. I cut it up. Who has time for that?

Nana. Yeah, I love how you took credit for it. It's like hard labour instead of cracking rocks in the backyard. She's there cutting up all these bags. Oh, that's actually good gear. She's got very bad arthritis. Well, I think what they get where they're getting it from at Badly. So April's dad's partner has like an art studio in their house.

She's quite good. She's quite good. Didn't need your laugh story, bro. I'm just trying to give some context to the situation. Anyway. She has a studio, but she also works at office works. There's a lot of spare paper getting around. So they spend a lot of time there and they come to my house and they think I've got the same amount of spare paper laying around, which I don't.

Okay? So that's why it really grinds my gears. Moving on. Vicki had that part out. You're so fucking mean to me. Oh, I mean, last week we were getting up on him. Oh, yeah, but that was one week out of the 221 episodes that we've done. I get 220 episodes of nothing.

I appreciate the backstory. very very helpful to know no that's fine and I'm sure the doters also appreciate knowing that information as well no one know where Laura doesn't talk to you

anyway um moving on hey Laura and I we've crossed a boundary I don't need excuses I don't need your excuses

of why that your wife and you aren't talking go give me that that's all we got time for my go on that joke is so fucking old I know I know but it works

let's let's reunite What are you got for me? I love you. Okay. You're used to that though, aren't you? Laura and I have crossed a boundary where there is no coming back. Yep.

It's a relationship milestone that I don't think anyone wants to really hit. Okay. She pooped on you, didn't you? But we're there. You're close. Wow. She weighed on you. Very close.

You're on the right track. But I always looked at couples. One thing that I would always turn my nose up at are the couples who would go into the bathroom, doing a number two, and the other one would enter. Not into that. Neither am I. No. Big? Oh, guilty. Guiltiest face ever. I wish the camera was on then. I could, that was so guilty. You're like, well, don't come to me. You even kept so quiet during that bit because you didn't want me to ask. Look, I think in the mornings when time is limited, sometimes you just got to do whatever it takes to get the job done. How many bathrooms you got? We got two. I got three.

Oh, there it is. In my defence, we only have one. Yeah, okay, that's fine. We only have one too. Carry on. And just, I had to brush my teeth. I thought she was doing a wee. Next thing, I was like, is that a number one or number two?

And she was like, what are you doing? And I was like, okay, wow, we're like, we're now here. We're now at a place where I never wanted to be. But now that we're here, I can't turn back time. I can't come back from this. We are in a new stage. A new error. Do you know what the next step is?

What's that? You piss through her legs. Who does that? That's the next step. Vic likes it. Vick's like, Oh, that sounds pretty good, actually.

I think I was like, hasashed on that. No, I haven't crossed the first boundary yet. Just do it. Come with us. Come to the dark side. Come to the brown side. Ew.

I actually think to those couples out there that aren't afraid to be in each other's presence whilst they are doing what is a natural activity, I think it's a beautiful thing. No, you don't. I think it's a beautiful thing.

And we are now stronger for it. No, you're not. I was just going to say, we don't, I'm defending by still. We're not animals. The admission of guilt. We don't do it unless it's absolutely necessary that we've got to like tuck our head in and tell them like something. Yeah, okay. Because of something that's happening with the kids.

Like I don't want to be in there brushing my teeth. I'm just, well, don't put it on me. I wouldn't go that far. Some things that's the best to be left to the imagination. I'm just saying. I remember when. Hang on, wait, Vic, if you have to say something, just say it through the door. You don't have to put your head in there.

Yeah, just knock and be like, give us a sniff. I'm going to tell you something. I tell you what, when April and I, before having kids, we were in Bali together and the hotel room had a glass panel that was the bathroom door. Who's designing those? I know, right? And we both got Barley Belly. We've never looked at each other the same, and that was like 10 years ago. So you have been there?

Yeah, but it was like, I wasn't in the room. Well, I wasn't technically in the bathroom. I was in the room that we had. But it was only a glass frost. And they only frosted like this much. A strip. Yeah, they're like they assumed everyone's hype. Frusting is very hard to come by in Indonesia.

Yeah. It was like, just open the door. It'll fog up. Like, yeah, or you'd hear everything. So, yeah, look, I'm not all for it. There's a door there for a reason. But also, April doesn't lock the door. I lock the door and I get in trouble for locking the door.

And she's like, why do you lock the door? I'm like, so the fucking kids can't come in. She's like, well, they come in with me. I'm like, well, lock the door. Yeah. Idiot. Do you look at Laura differently now? Yeah, I love her more.

Do you look at her butt and go, I know what comes out of there now? No, it doesn't. Oh, God. Okay, Ash, we have a doting ick. Oh, was that it? Seriously. This one is from Kayla. It's from Instagram.

And it has been sitting in the inbox for a little while. Kayla, I apologize. We're backed up. Well, Laura's not. But, yeah. She says, I was at my local shopping cafe with my three-year-old daughter and the guy next to me in brackets, fully grown man, was wearing Velcro strap vans. Grow up. I'm sorry, but anyone over the age of six should not be wearing Velcro strap shoes.

I got the biggest ick from it. Sorry, Ash, if you wear the hair. What? Hang on. Why would you just throw me in there? Well, you're not like, bring a shoe up. What do you got? Oh, okay.

Oh, okay. Did you change shoes? No. Oh, yesterday you were wearing vans with no laces. Yeah, they'll just slip-ons. Slipp ones is okay. Velcro's another story. Do you know what to be worse if he adjusts them and it goes in public?

This last bit, just quickly, I don't know why this makes the story funnier, but we saw him coming out of Woolworth's holding a bachelor's handbag, a roast chicken, and it made me laugh. That's very ash. None of that story has anything. to do with me. That is, that's got you. What are you mean? That screams Ash Wicks.

Just me carrying a roast chicken wearing my fucking Velcro vans. Oh, it's funny. Like a special needs child. I know. I don't even have like pants that have a zip up. It's just their elastic. Like what else? A backpack.

And he had pissed himself. What makes it really funny is that he had pissed himself. And also, I think you might have shoot himself. It's so, Ash. Come on. Give me more credit. Velcro shoes sound pretty good. But, no, Oscar's got Velcro shoes.

He's an ick. On the back of that really quickly tell you something that I think, I think it's an ick. Last night, I ate a whole Kish Lorraine. Apparently, I'm a family of five. You must have felt pretty sick after that. I felt phenomenal. I felt invincible. Was April, like, the following night, was she like, where the fuck's the kid's dinner?

No, because I was like, oh, what am I? The kids, who's eating the Keish Lorraine normally? No one. You are? You bought it, you went out to the shops and bought a Keish Lorraine. Who craves Keish Lorraine? I live in an interesting life. My kids.

Yeah, kids, sure. No, my kids hate Keish. Not this guy. I'll eat the whole thing. That's a lot of egg. That's why I'm so jacked. Breaking news. Vic, you've been hard at work, as always.

Yeah, so I love scaring the internet for breaking news. and today I found something. It's a trend that's currently happening. It's not necessarily news. There is news stories on it. On it? Oh, yeah, go far away. Well, you know more than me, obviously.

How dare you try to... Off my back! I love it. Damn it! I'm usually quite a calm and collected person. Ash is getting frustrated. People love it when we fight. The vein on his neck is just...

Yeah. Although I'm sure there'll be some comments being like, you need to be nicer to Ash. My heart rate is already in hypertension. You could kill me! in one of these episodes. I don't say that. That'd be great.

That'd be great content. What if I died? That'd be amazing for you. No, never. You'd need to fill the seat. We'd have a whole memorial. I can't fill your seat now. We'd have a, thank you.

And Matt's like, I'd fill out immediately. I'd find a witch's had to put in that seat. Go on. Sorry, Vigar. I hijacked your segment as a match. I said poke the bear. So I've been looking around for a story this week for our news. and this crossed my desk and it's a parenting hack.

We know we love those on the show. So have a listen and tell me what you think. Can I use it, do you think? 100%. Oh, oh, that's it. And I'll tell you why after it. Okay. There is a new parenting trend everyone is talking about,

but does it actually work? When your toddler hits meltdown mode, most parents will try just about anything to stop the screaming and tears. Enter TikTok's latest parenting obsession, The Jessica Trick. The premise is deceptively simple. When a tantrum kicks off, parents suddenly call out, Jessica, Jessica, as if someone

names Jessica has just entered the room. Can I just say very good Jessica calling just then, Vic, that was screaming and news voice. I like it. Really just looking for a compliment that you're like, uh, great Jessica calling. Hey credit, where credit's due. Fair enough. Many toddlers will then pause mid meltdown, look around and often stop crying all together. So does this so-called parenting hack actually work or is it just another short-lived viral trend? Okay. Well, I actually put this to the test because my beautiful little Lily Boo cries a lot.

Okay. Well said. How do I say? How do I say how I articulate this? She cries a lot. She's a sensitive soul. She's a deep thinking, deep feeling kit. And I love her very much.

Can I just confirm how old is Lily Boo? Lily Boo? Yeah, Louis named her Lily Boo when he was a toddler and it's just stuck. I like it. She's three. Copy. So I tried it on her. I will play you guys a video.

Ash, you have a look. At first she looks a little bit disoriented. Jessica. Jessica! I'll like everyone just started joining in. It sort of works. It's working a bit, but then she's like... As soon as you stop, it's like, it's like she gets.

It's like she goes back to crying. Yeah, like, she's stopped now. You're all sleeping back on you? I wanted to try it, but every time Lola was having a meltdown last night, and I was like, just shut up! You could see the first one her face was like, hang on a second. What are you talking to?

Yeah, and then she even looks. Yeah. Where's Jessica? We tried at the dinner table early at the same evening, but I didn't have my phone anywhere near me, so I couldn't record it, but the same thing happened. She, like, fully stopped crying and then was like, And then Louis same thing.

He just jumps in and like joins the job. He's like, I've got you back, mum. Yeah. I've got you back. I think it's good. I'm going to try it. I'm going to try it. There's so many things that I said I'm going to try on Oscar and just never done it.

So one other thing I found while I was researching this topic was that Jessica Beale, the actress, has actually come out and said, this is a really dangerous trend. And I'm wondering if like everyone's just shouting her name when she's out in public and thinking that it's her. Jessica Beale, relax. This is your 15 minutes now. She's like, okay, guys, stop calling my name. Like, relax, Jessica Beal. What if you try just another name? Be like, shut up, Jessica, we'll use another name.

She's like, no, no, I'm not saying that. Only works on Jessica. Okay, that's scientifically proven. Vic, thank you very much for your forever ongoing, very thorough reason. Diligence. We really appreciate it. This is where I get all my news. Ash, Mother's Day competition.

Yes, did I win? No, sorry, sadly, you have not won. But we are here to announce her. who will win. And Ash, we have rejigged this just a little bit because when we announced it, there was going to be one main prize. Yes. But we have changed that. We had an incredible number of submissions and we have loved going through all of them. But there were three in particular that we kept coming back to. We could not ignore. And we wanted to acknowledge them. First of all, a big thank you to elements, because we've gone back to them to change the prize a

little bit. It was for one major winner, five nights. However, the three that we kept going back to, we felt they deserved, they all deserved a trip. So we have now changed the prize to three nights for three major prize winners. And we'll also do the runner up winners on social media over the next couple of days. For the vote off. So before we mention these three stories quickly, just a trigger warning. These do talk about trauma surrounding birth. So if this is something that you're not in a position to hear. We suggest skipping ahead just a few minutes. Now the first mom who is a winner is Nikita. She was 38 weeks pregnant when she started to feel off and a week later she couldn't feel the baby moving. She went for a quick checkup but was told that their baby hadn't survived

the pregnancy and everything crumbled from there. But amidst the pain they were experiencing Nikita says that their two-year-old son gave them a moment they'll never forget, wanting to sing to his baby sister. She is now pregnant again at 26 weeks and she couldn't be more deserving of this holiday. Our second winner who is also very deserving of this holiday is Chantel. Her son's soul was born after 12 hours of spontaneous labour. He had a pneumothorax and facial differences that no scan picked up. At 18 months he was diagnosed with scalp, ear and nipple syndrome. There are only 36 cases of this in the world. His needs don't qualify. for financial support, so they've been living off one income. A holiday isn't on the cards for them,

so this prize would be huge. You can also follow them on Instagram at Sol Donnelly and support their journey. Lastly, we have Leone, her now three and a half year old son, Rai, was diagnosed with leukemia a few months before his second birthday. At the time of his diagnosis, she found out that she was also pregnant with her second. They had to move from their home, their family, and the support network in regional Victoria for nine months so Rye could get his treatment. He is still undergoing chemo treatment until the end of this year. Now a reminder, we do have the runner-up prizes. There is three of them to give away.

We are going to post on social media the finalists to then win one of these three runner-up prizes. So don't forget to keep an eye out for that and vote for your favourite. Once again, thank you to all the very deserving moms who entered the competition this year. Back a couple of weeks ago when school holidays was in full swing and I've got the kids home all the time, you know how you struggle by a day three or four you've run out of things for them to do really if they're just stuck at home. But I was telling them a story about my cousins from New Zealand when I was growing up

they all went to a boarding school. And of course Oscar, very curious and also smart-ass little shit. He wanted to know what boarding school was. I said it's a great place. You're going to love it. It's beautiful how you talk about your son. I love him very much. This is how we show I love, okay?

And I was like, oh, it's a beautiful place where kids get to go for a whole school term to school, but you get to live and sleep at school. What do you think about that? He was like, oh, no, that sounds absolutely dreadful. And I'm like, we don't see you for like 10 weeks straight. It's bliss for you. Not for us. We'll miss you.

So that sort of came out when they were like testing everyone over the school hall. And then what happened was we had a movie night. You know, like every now and then we'll. The kids will have a shower and stuff like, ready for bed. And then, surprise, it's a movie night. You're not going to bed yet. We're going to have a, watch a movie before you go to bed and the popcorn. When you do that?

What time do you have the bath? We have the shower. We don't bath anymore. We shower, like maybe 30 minutes before when we would usually do. Because they can't really tell the time. Oscar can look at the clock and be like, go home and the mom's over there. And I'm like, yeah, it's, you know. So say, usually it would be 6.30, but we go 6 o'clock get the shower's done.

Six o'clock for the shower. They don't know. God. And then they come. I'm out and I've got the lounge set up, like it's a movie theater, they've got big thing of popcorn, we watch a movie, whatever. But we were watching Toy Story classic. Great film.

Also, that was like 30 years old that movie. And the CGI in that and the animation way ahead of its time. Very good. Very, very, very good. Groundbreaking. But there's a kid in that by the name of Sid. Yes. And my kids have decided that any bad kid just is going to go to boarding school now.

So we're just like, the threat now, if they do anything wrong, based off this, is like, oh, that kid's going to boarding school. I'm like, yeah. And you know what happens after boarding school? It's like, they go to jail. Boarding school is the gateway to jail. So my ongoing threat now off the base of that, and it works. This is a parenting hack. Yeah, it was like, have you heard, yeah, so maybe ask your kids, have they ever heard of boarding school?

Because it's not all bad. It's like they went, my cousins went to boarding school because they were very rural and it was just easier for them. Necessity. Yeah. It was a necessity. Also, sounds amazing for the parents. Would you? I don't the kids.

Dan went to boarding school and he was like, it was the best thing ever. Yeah. Although I have heard some horror stories of young. You would have. What does that mean? You are always looking for the, like, okay, I don't want to hear the nice things I happen telling the diabolical things that are what are you talking about?

People come to me with these stories and I don't. Why? You tell me. Yeah, they're like, you're like, let me tell your story. Is it gruesome? Yeah, it laid on me. No, just when people have gone to boarding school, when they're young, I think things have changed now.

Like, back in the day, there used to be, like, an initiation process for the borders. And imagine being, like, a little grade four or a grade five kid, you know, and the big old seniors are like, all right, let's fucking... Let's rough these kids up a little bit. Right? Yeah. Imagine that. I don't, I also...

I've imagined it, and I related on to Oscar, and he is the best-behaved boy in town. I don't think, maybe it'd be different when they're teenagers and you kind of over them a little bit, but the thought of sending them to boarding school, a whole term of their kids. I know, it sounds amazing, doesn't it? Well, I don't think I'd want to do it. I'd miss him too much. Yeah, I definitely would miss them. Sorry, not to. I definitely would miss them. Don't try on 180. I would, I definitely would miss them, but like, but it's a good threat. It's up there. It's, I try, because then you can also just make things up that happened. Like, you'd be like, oh, you don't want to see what they get for lunch. You know what they get for lunch in

boarding school and like just make up something disgusting and they're like oh it's like they're children they yeah they eat small boys and small girls that don't eat their lunch you become lunch the next day this is why you don't listen to us for advice no yeah exactly jane me or would right now would be turning but the the amount of questions my kids now have about boarding school because they're adamant they're going is unbelievable i did want to go for a period yeah like you said it would be fun if you're a bit older i wanted to go monday to friday if you were doing the bullying it'd be a lot more fun than if you were getting bullied. That'd be great. Yeah, if you were doing the hazing, I want to, I'll go, but I'm only hazing people. I'm not being hazed. If I went to boarding school, I would have

gotten better marks. Do you know, all my cousins that went to boarding school, they're all have degrees, they're all like, that's crazy. Yeah, they're all, there might just be in the jeans. Because you've got to do forced homework time and stuff. Yeah, they probably don't call it homework at boarding school because it's too triggering. Like homework? I'd love to go home. Here we just call it work, son. Ash, what are your thoughts on this? Actually, I probably know what you're going to say, but I'll ask it anyway. How do you feel about lying to your children about the date of their birthday? Like standing by the lie or like a cheeky lie? Like, give me some more. Give me, give me more. So the issue that we have at the moment, is that Laura is going to be away for work. And the date

that she wants to be away is the date of Marley's birthday. Yeah, Marley's birthday. Yeah, Marley's birthday. days in June. Yeah, well, very good. 19th of June. So what do we do? What is the solution here? I've got it. I've come up with one. And I'm getting a lot of pushback from my beautiful wife that I love so dearly. Okay. So I'm suggesting that what we can do to make this work

to ensure that we're all together as a family on the birthday is we can just change the date of Miley's birthday, lie to her, if you want to call it that, and either bring it forward a week or push it back a week. And Laura's not on board. Laura thinks it is a crime. She's calling it a crime.

Crimes a bit much. If we were going to try and... As if you got locked up for that. She wants to commit fraud, essentially, by changing the date, lying to our child, to their face, and getting the whole family on board to pretend like one day is her birthday when it's actually not. Because she doesn't have any ability to track dates. What do you think? No, she doesn't.

She's always like, what date is it today? And I'm like, it's the 16th. And she's like, okay, five minutes later, she's like, Like, what day was it? She's talking dates? My kids are like, what day is it? Well, that's it. She has, she's some, she likes the idea of dates.

But sometimes she's like, is my birthday soon? And I'm like, no, you don't have more than one birthday in year. How many sleeps my birthday? They have no idea. Yeah, Macy asked me when her birthday was two days after a birthday. Yeah, right? I was like, I don't know how to tell you this, but it's a long way away. Yeah, I was like, you're going to be waiting, girl.

It's next year. And they're like, what does that mean? Yeah, yeah. I suppose you could lie. You could always like, be like, hey, look, mommy. He's got to go away for work. Why don't we bring it forward and have the party before your birthday? That's just lying.

You just said, you just said... Yeah, that's why I said I'm all for it. Yeah, I suppose. But you could be honest... But you could be honest about that why are you having it early? Like, why don't we celebrate early? And they'll be like, that means I get my presents early? Yeah.

Because then they're still going to have the actual birthday. Yeah, okay. And they're going to forget about all the context of like, why can't Mommy be here. They're still going to go, hang on a second. Today's my birthday. Mum is not here. She doesn't love me. She's a bad mom.

God. She's pointing out the obvious. obvious. No. She's an amazing mother. But I do you think it's easier just to we just create the narrative, a narrative where we just say to Mali, hey, well, today's your birthday. And it could be a week prior, a week after.

A week? Wow. What difference does it make? I feel too bad. I actually think it's okay as long as you keep it in the same month. You can change the birthday. That's totally fine. I'm liking this.

You're not going to have any idea. What else? I'm not going to do that up until the age. of like maybe grade three. What else? Sell it to me. I like it. I'm liking it.

That's what I've got so far. That's pretty good so far. But Laura's like we couldn't possibly do that. It would be a crime. Let me ask you this. If your kid was a boarding school and it was their birthday and they couldn't celebrate it with you, would you change it? Well, I think when you're a teenager, the parenting wheels are falling off.

That's true. Actually, if you're a parent who's sent your child to boarding school, that's not an attack. No, no. I think if they don't know the date, the celebration is going to happen. it's going to be about them. They're going to get presents. People are going to be involved. Mum's going to be there.

Everyone's there is love. Everyone's a loving, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, it's fine. So as long as there's love in the room. I've always said that. I live by that philosophy, as long as there's love in the room. Shut up, Mosca! Amen.

Then it's fine. Look. Why are people so hung up on the date, though, this specific date? Because it's part of them. Like, you got to remember, in their world, there's not a whole lot other than mom, dad, who they live with, Nan, whoever. the family and their birthday. But we are still celebrating.

We are acknowledging that birth. It just is not on the actual specific date where the birth are to place. Yeah, I think, I think it's... Well, I'm not saying let's forget about the birthday. Let's erase that year of birthday. And Mali's like, hang on if I can second. I celebrated a birthday. I'm like three years.

What have you born in a leap year? Exactly. Yeah. Vic? I think his parents were attached to the date more than the child. Oh, there it is. Okay. All right.

Yeah. I look, I'm... I'm okay for it. So we're talking about either bringing forward the birthday a week or maybe delaying it a week, which would mean that we are all together as a family. That's what I'm kind of pushing. For the one time. Okay.

So if it was happening again in the next year and she's a little bit older and you're not there, for example, do you think that Laura would go, okay, well, Matt, you're not going to be here. What do you think about bringing the birthday forward? Would you do it again? Yeah, great. Of course. Or later.

Yeah. Totally. For me, it's not a rule that you can break one time. I think this applies up until like the age of three when they start. to know when their actual birth date is. Okay. And you would still run with, okay, it's the night. I would just lie to her face and tell her like on this Monday that is not her birthday.

I would say this is. You were born on this day. So we have organized ice creams to go to school. So everyone's going to get an ice cream. Because remember, you were born today. Today is the 19th. What if she went to school and because you know how they're like, they're starting to be mean to each other.

And someone's like, uh, today is not the 19th, Mali. And she finds out that way. How would that make you feel? No, okay. Okay. That's better enough for me. That's good enough for me. I just think kids are going to just get,

they'll get lost in the excitement of the ice cream. Okay. And not get hung up on the details. Right. Okay. And I don't think kids in grade one are being like, today is the 19th. I think they just say,

I think they lead with today's my birthday. Do they have a calendar in the classroom? I don't know. You better make sure they don't. I don't know these questions, Ash. I don't think so. I don't remember growing up with a classroom with a calendar in it. They've also got electronic boards now.

Have you seen that stuff? They've usually got it on the wall, though, like everyone's birthdays. Like, what day... You'd have to clue the school in. You'd go that far to clue the school in? You'd have to get that on board. How deep with his law, go? I make sure the school are on board.

What I'm going to have to do right now is I'm going to have to forge a fake birth certificate. I'm in. I like it. Change the day. I love this idea. I'm all of a forgery. I'm also changing her name. Giving her a false identity.

Done. Perfect. I've done. Like, to summer, I don't mind it. To be honest, I was just busting your balls a little bit. Matt, it is time for a segment brought to you by Aldi. Good different, some would say. They say.

We say them. Them, they, them. Let's go. Very well said. So far, this segment is running very well. I know. How long do you think it'll be before Aldi give us a tap on the shoulder and say, we need to talk to you about the segment?

We hate you. Because we love Audi. We do. We do. Get it in there. What did you think you knew as an adult until you had kids? Mm-hmm. And you were proven brutally wrong.

I've got one actually. Before we get into the listeners. The good stories from our listeners. We'll take a crap one from you. Okay. I thought before I had kids, and this is not, I don't know a few people listen to the podcast who do not have kids. And this is not an attack on you.

This is an attack on me pre-kids and how dumb I was. Naive, even. I thought I understood what it meant to be. I had kids. Good one. Yeah. God, that takes me back. Go on. That takes me back to a simpler time when you could be tired.

You could be tired whenever you want. You could watch whatever you want, sleep whenever you want. Someone once said to me at work who had a child. You have a job? Before back in the day, I was like, where did you get a job? I lived in London. And in the agency I worked out because I worked in marketing. All right, mate.

In London. And somebody just had a child. and I said, Have a good kid, yeah, mine, yeah? That is a terrible English accent. Awful. You're very good accents, but not English. I said, what is it like being a dad?

And he said, the best way I can describe it, you know that feeling right now that you have on the weekends or even some nights when you have free time? And I was like, yeah, I know what that feels like. And he goes, that's gone. The ability to just have free time and do nothing no longer exists. Yeah. And I was like, what?

I don't really think. That's very good, very good way to put it. I always say that you're going to love hating it here. That's my main one. And they're like, what do you mean? I'm like, you'll find out. You'll find out. You'll find out.

But you'll love it. But you'll hate it. All right, from the listeners, this is all through the Facebook group. And you can submit yours for the Facebook group. You can DM us. You can email us at hello at 2.19.com. I believe that's right. Oh, you can DMS or whatever.

This one is from Sammy. I thought I would never lie to my kids, Matt. Now the parks are closed on some weekends. You have to lie. It's a necessity. It is. It's a necessity. Sometimes you're going to lie about when they were born.

This is awkward. This one is from Renee and she said, I thought surely it can't be that hard to reason with a toddler. And then I had a toddler. Like having a drunk person in your house all the time. It's painful. Do you know what? It's one of those things where you look back, like we're looking back now where like, I suppose like Marley and Lola are out of the toddler stage, same with Oscar.

and Macy's still a bit in it because he doesn't talk that much. But I look back and I'm like, it's actually quite funny some of the things they would do because at the time you're like, oh my God, does it matter if it's square or triangle toast? I was at the RISL and watching a parent try and speak to their toddler, it must have been about two or younger, being like, what's wrong? What is it? What do you need right now? Tell me!

I know, there's just no reasoning with them because they don't know. I'm trying to extract a little bit of information just like, tell me, please. Please. It's so hard. Help me. Help you. I know. And then it's like within an instant, it's the whole mood's different.

And you're like, what? Had it with a whiplash. Is it again? This one's from Lily. My husband and I both said we would never let our daughter win. Oh, we were wrong. I've stopped letting Oscar win now. I played Monopoly, like little bluey monopoly.

And I'm just like, it's just not worth me winning. I know. I let Macy win Uno the other night because, it was so close to bedtime and I thought, I don't need this. Yeah. There's no ROI with a parent. If it was Oscar, I'd be like, I'll dominate him. But if Macy, I'm like, oh, this is.

I can't put her through it. I can't put her through it. I know. She was like, and she also, she doesn't hide her cards. It's all out. So you're like, I know what's coming. And it's like, I can see that draw four. And so when Oscar and April weren't looking, I put a draw four in her pile and pulled out like a shit card.

God, you're a good dad. And I was like, that's good parenting. Oscar was about to win. I'm like, hit him with it. And then April was like, oh, you're such a, that's so nice. And I was like, what was? And she was like, you're giving that to Macy? I was like, no, I did that to Oscar, not to him.

Hey, last one, it's from Nicole. Hello, Nicole. I thought I would like doing craft and activities like that with them. Turns out I would actually prefer to stick forks in my eye, but hey, you can live and you learn. I can't get on the level. I was like, get on their level and it's such easier. No, it's not. I just feel like a fucking idiot.

I remember trying to make those butterfly wings back in the day. I was like cutting the cardboard. And they're like, I want to cut it. And I'm like, you can't cut it because you're going to cut yourself. They're like, well, I want to do it. I'm like, you're going to sit down and just watch Daddy do it. And they're like, fuck you. I'm like, fuck you.

It just how it ends up. I know, scissors are still banned in my house. Any arts and crafts, I end up just doing it. And they sit there and watch me and complain. And it's never good enough. That's parenting. Enjoy. And if you were once an idiot, please, we want to share that dumbness with us.

It's not all bad news because you may be a dumb pre-parent, but you can now be a smart parent by... You can shop smarter when you shop at Aldi. Aldi, good different. Matt at this time for this song. Now you need us more than ever. Know that we still have each other. You can send us your doating dilemma.

You can send us your doting dilemma. Ella, Ella. Doge dilemma mat is where our dotas, they ride in with a dilemma for us to not solve, that would be silly. Talk about. Escalate. Make it worse. To people who do send us the serious dilemmas,

we treat them with a definite sense of, how do you say, sensitivity? Ignore them. So sensitive that we don't even touch it. We get some serious ones. We do. Some more serious than others. Yeah, this is a great one.

What do you got? This comes from the DMs, Matthew. We do get a lot from the DMs. What's your name? Matthew Johnson. Babysitters. Matt, this comes from... Excuse me.

It's hard to find good help. We're trying to wrap up the sentence. We're trying to... We're doing our best right now. I know. Then she'll be like, It'll take me forever to edit it. I apologize.

You're ganging up on me. Matt gave me the idea. No. If anyone new comes in the room, we're all just like... It's fun. It's fun to bully. Um, don't bully kids unless it's fun. I'm going to get that on a t-shirt.

That's a fucking good one. Don't bully kids unless it's for fun. Yeah? Whatever we do, Vic, never get that printed on a shirt. This one comes from a DM, Matt. We do get DMs, believe it or not. I don't check them. Someone else does.

Babysitters, how young is too young? Like the babysitter's age, not your kid's age. I don't need you explain the question. I think it's pretty self-explanatory. I understand the person who sent that in. And well done. So defensive. Which is just an easy one to digest.

That was Vic. It's, um, look, very hard hitting, this one. We had a message in one of the family group chats from school where a parent was saying, hey, if anyone would like a babysitter, here's a little flyer that my daughter has done. And I think they're about 13 or 14. That babysitter needs a babysitter. When I thought to myself, like, who? Who am I to judge here?

Because, you know, kids mature at different stages. Girls mature, quicker than boys, right? Yeah, like, I think I was about 19 before I got puberty. You should get that checked. I was... What the fuck? What the heck? I know.

And that's why I look so young. That's like middle-aged puberty. Thank you. So I look so young now. It explains a lot. It does explain a lot. But I remember, when I turned 18, people were like, there's no fucking chance you're coming into this pub, you look about 12.

And I was like, thank you, son. Can I have a beer, please? But I think, oh, 14, I don't know if, I mean, okay, depends. There's two scenarios here. One, they're just having to be in the house whilst the kids are asleep, because that's an easy job. You're just there. Yeah.

You're just a body. You're just a body. So is Nana. You're a guard dog, essentially. That's what you're hiring. Why don't you just get a guard dog then? Because they can't call. I've tried.

On the paws. Yeah. Boop, boop, boop. What is it? What is it? What is it, Rusty? Wrong number. Damn it!

But I think if you have to try and put a child or children to bed, a 14-year-old, I don't know if I trust them. I would... As tempting as it is. Why would this 14-year-old want to do it? I don't even want to do it. I'm like 35. Pocket money, bro.

That's true. It's the monies. Yeah. There's other things you can do. Oh, it's easy money. Oh, going, Vic. Oh, go on then. Well, I was babysitting when I was in the year 5-0-06, I think.

What? Yeah. How mature it was? When did you hit puberty? Jesus. But they lived directly opposite the road, like opposite of that house. And so my mum would have been home if anything bad did happen. Were you putting them to bed?

Because that's the hardest part. Yeah. Like during the day, fine. Like, you know, you'd do some drawing. How old were the kids? Toddlers. Toddlers. Great question, Ash.

Thank you. I'm getting to the bottom of this. In hindsight, now I know about babies. Like, one of them, I think, would have been like a baby. Any mistakes that were made? No, but I think, with the baby when it started crying, I don't think I knew, like,

the right way to settle up. But then when I was in high school, like, I think I would have been like year seven, maybe year eight. So that's what, 13, 14. Yeah, yeah, okay. I was babysitting a baby and a toddler at the same time.

And I struggle with that as a parent. Wow. Imagine being that young and doing it. Like, I don't even think I would give a 13 year old my two kids. No, I would. No way. Yeah. Not these days.

They'll probably be vaping. If they're charging, like, 12 bucks and That's bloody good. That's a good deal. That's, you know, now... It is tough. Yeah. Can you stay forever? By that price?

Yeah. You look after him full time. I remember... Maybe you told me this story, Vick. If you did, I apologize for stealing a story. But I heard there was a... What's new? I was about to say, what's new?

Doesn't feel very good, does it? Yeah. It's fine. I remember. There's a story. There was a story I remember. There was a story I remember of a family who had to get called because whilst they were at the park, the babysitter lost their child.

They found the child, happy ending. But the babysitter was, I'm guessing, wasn't paying enough attention, was a bit on their phone and the baby had wandered off. And the babysitter tried to find the child. Did you? I think I did tell you that story. Oh, is this an urban legend? Everyone's got a story of like the babysitter.

You make a very good point because different generation, different time. Okay. So when we were that age, we didn't have the technology nor the distractions that they have now. So there was probably a little bit more trust in a child or an early teen then because they didn't have. My phone. They're distract. Yeah.

But now it's like they're more brazen now, these kids. They'd probably turn up on an e-bike with their shitty fucking boyfriend. Yeah. Vaping. Not my household. Saying things like skibbitty. Six, seven. Yeah.

Yeah. Get out of here. Six, seven. I told you to get here at five. Ash, question for you. Okay. Have you ever lost a friend since becoming a dad? Like, can't find him?

No, as in... Lost a friendship. Don't make me explain myself. Go on. I know what you're doing. Yeah. And I'm not going to buy into it. Aren't you?

I don't know what you mean. This podcast comes to a halt until you've explained it. Like lost a friendship. So like part of ways with a friend because you've had a kid. Has a friendship broken down? See how I got you to explain it? Okay. This is a serious topic.

This is serious. This is serious. Go. Explain. Has it a friendship? You know what I'm fucking talking about. Well, I don't. Go, answer.

Answer. Okay. Oh, that's a good one. Because it's like a lot of the time I find when I... Oh, is a tricky one. I don't think personally that I know of unless someone's just stopped calling me. That makes me think, actually. But...

Where's Frank? I do hear of, like, people losing friends because the friend who doesn't have kids, right, doesn't understand what you're going through. And then they are quite self-centered. I'm not pointing anyone out here specifically. But they could be, maybe they think, well, they don't care about me anymore. But then at the same time, it's like, well, this person has a baby that's actually way more important.

That could be the case. I've heard of that. I don't know if anyone's done that to me, but that I've noticed. Or maybe we've just drifted apart. Gosh, it's hard being so popular. Is it an intentional loss or like, because people drift apart all the time? They do. I think there's different seasons in your life.

Yeah. And I know that friends who I was with when I was 18, I'm definitely not friends with them now. We're like, I look at them and I'm like, ugh. Couldn't think of anything worse. Well, they're 18. Why would you be friends with them? Well, now they're off my age, but we're just like, thank you.

Thank you. Do you have anyone specific that you're like, okay, well. His name's Dick. No, you don't have to name names. No, I think there's a couple of times. And obviously, some friendships when they break up, it happens over a gradual process. Like, it's not like a line in the sand where you're like, oh, that's, That's the friendship done.

You're just like, oh, I haven't spoken to that guy in a while. We haven't really hung out. And it's only certain moments you realize that, you know, there's a lack of contact. Yeah, different stages too. But there have been a couple of occasions where I've invited someone who doesn't have children yet. I've got my kids. And I'm like, hey, they really want to meet up. And I'm like, I've got the kids all weekend.

I really want to hang out. I'm going to be either here or home or I'm going to be at the park here. But, like, when the kids are playing, like, come and hang out. And they're like, oh, I've actually got a fair bit on. Don't blame. Honestly, I don't blame them, to be honest. Like, if I didn't have kids, I wouldn't want to be hanging out with kids. But it's not hanging out with the kids.

You're hanging out with the friend. Yeah, I suppose depending on what you guys are up to. It has to be an environment, which is also going to be where the kids are at. Like, I'm not saying, come over and play tea parties with me. Why not? That sounds good. I'm saying, like, the kids will be occupied, but I can't just ditch my kids. No, for sure.

I think, like, yeah. I think if I feel like, look, I'm thinking about taking the kids out. There's a really good pub down the road that has a playground in there. The kids love it down there. What don't we meet down there? There is no excuse for that person to be like, oh, no, because it's like you'll be there. You'll be doing what you were doing and you just got to keep an eye on your kid. But there's been that type of invitation where I'm like, hey, I've got the kids, but let's hang out.

They said, oh, not free. You know, look at their Instagram stories and they're like, actually they're not working. They're like out and about, assuming that they're posting in real time. But then as a parent, I think any friendship is going to be like a, you see it as a bit of a loss and there's a bit of a, you know, a grievance. There's always this. Oh. Yeah. I remember being with the kids and being like, oh, there's that one person has been a few different occasions where I'm like, let's hang out.

The kids will be around. And I get what you're saying. Like, you don't want to, some people, the thought of hanging out with other people's kids is awful. Here's a good example for you. So all of, majority of my friends have kids. kids. I would say there's one miles. But he'll come over and play with the kids, right? Because he's like, I get it. You're in this stage of my life. He's still living that bachelor life. But when it comes to, if he's like, I'm going to pop by and see you, he knows what he's in for. And he's fine with

that. But it's never ever been a case where I'm like, oh, I'm going to go down with the kids. And he's like, oh, no, actually I can't. Right. But like, I can imagine there'll be a lot of people that are like, oh, it's just not my vibe. But the friendship, the friendship is the thing that really. cost there. There can be, I think, a level of resentment from both sides. Like, if you don't have kids and you're suggesting plans that are, like, I'm not going to go out and party till like four in the morning. If I got the kids the next morning, it's just not going to happen. And they're probably thinking, oh, fuck, that's so boring. We used to do it all the time and it's fun, but now we can't. We have to do it by your rules because you've got the kids.

Yeah. And then so I think the resentment goes both ways. They're the same sort of person that would be like, hey, I'm on the way to the pub. You should call me. Like, I can't do it. I got the kids and it's like, why not? What do you mean? You can't. I need more than 10 minutes. I know, you're more than one, more than two seconds. Like, I'm out the front in the car. But, like, I would say there are people that I've drifted away from. I wouldn't say I've lost the friendship because it's not just black and white like that, right?

Because it's like, sometimes you're running to someone you haven't seen in ages that are on a different path. And you're still just as like, oh, hey, dude. Like, how are you going? I would still consider that person a friend, but not a close friend. But I think, like you said about Miles, the good friends are the ones that adapt. Oh, yeah. And that can be flexible and fluid. But also honest.

Like he'll sometimes he'll be like, if you're free, sweet, but like if you're not, you're looking after kids, cool, we can catch up another time. Or like when you're free and it's just you and I want to catch up with you one-on-one, he'll be honest like that. There's nothing worse than someone saying, oh, yeah, sorry, dude, I'm busy. And then you know, seeing they're not busy. I'd much rather someone say, I don't feel like hanging out with kids. When are you free next, maybe we'll catch up for coffee or catch up for lunch sometime when the kids were school. That's what I much prefer. Vic, have you lost a friend.

Yeah, I would say, like what you actually did, Matt, was a really good thing because you're still putting it out there. I found when my friends started having kids, I then stopped getting invited to things because I didn't have kids. Oh. Yeah. They all switcheroo. It was in a reverse. But then when I did have kids, I then stopped getting invited to other things with my friends who didn't have kids. Yeah.

So I think it's like really important to always like think about who you're excluding when you're sort of. Planning. Yeah, planning things. Because as a new mom, I was devastated. when I could see people were hanging out and I hadn't even been asked. And I think it's actually very common because they just assume that I'm busy with the baby. And I mean, I used to take Louis everywhere. But like to then see that they were doing something that I probably could have joined,

but, you know, I would have had a baby with me. It like, it fucking hurts. Oh, yeah. And there's nothing worse than going, oh, I assume that you wouldn't be able to come. It's like, well, don't assume, no bad. Ask me. Like, there's also the other thing as well where, like, maybe they'll try and include you by like inviting you even know that there's a high potential and you keep having to say no

and then they're like, well, we're not going to invite you more because you keep saying no. But it's like, well, I kind of have to. Like it's such a minefield. I mean, I try and think back to when I didn't have kids. But if someone had a child, I'd be like, let's fucking meet it. Like, show off what you got. Show me your seed. You're like, here you go.

Yeah. Like, I'm genuinely pumped to meet someone else. And like, maybe I'm thinking now just my dad had on. But to meet someone's child, it's a big deal. And I think the people who don't have kids and have no interest at all, like, there's a couple of people that I'm like, oh, my child is now six and you've never met my child. And I thought we were really good friends. To me, that hurts so much. To not even meet them all.

What I thought was a really good friend, obviously I completely missed the mark here because the friendship's not even important enough for you to meet my child. Yeah, and there could be an array of reasons why it's gotten to that point. It could have been like to start off with, they might have been somewhat jealous that they weren't in this position. And then that jealousy turned into, I'm just not contacting you anymore. And then all of a sudden, you fall out of, you fall out of each other's circles. And then six years down the track, it's like, you've never met my kid. And it's like, well, at that point, something was going on and it just never, never came up organically again. But at the same time, like, if you are a true friend, you'll make the effort.

What do you mean? You don't want to hang out the park with me at 8 a.m. Yeah, it's fun. That's fun. By the way, here's my kids. Bye. Surprise babysitter. Bring him over and be like, so here's my kids.

Anyway, I'll be back in like three or four hours. There's some money on the counter. There's some money on the counter that sticks back at the fridge. See, later. Ash, last week we spoke about the need for breast pumps. Yeah, we want to thank everyone for not only purchasing the plush toys from our website, that all the proceeds go to this great cause. But anyone who just donated off their own back, these machines are vital in the community,

and every cent is appreciated. So we have about, I want to say, 30-ish plush toys remaining. they are 20 bucks each. All that money gets donated to funding medical grade breast pumps in the neonatal units in hospitals all around the country. You can also donate to the Humpty Dumpty Foundation directly if you wish. Yes, you can find them on Instagram if that's easier at Humpty Dumpty Foundation. Also, make sure you buy my plush toy because I don't want to let you know any bad news, Ash, but I've sold twice as many as you so far. It doesn't really bother me which one people buy. Really?

Because it's for a good cause. And that's what I really care about. Well said. Well said. Yeah, it's very petty of you. I would say buy any, buy double, triple Matt, because it goes to a cause that's so close to Vick's heart, which means it's close to my heart. It's obviously heartless.

I second those points. Oh, you would second those points, wouldn't you? I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who reached out after that. Tearful display from me. Everyone's messages were truly beautiful and really touched my heart. and thank you for all the Dota community for really embracing me as part of the team. It's made me feel very welcome. So thanks.

Ash, we need to get out of it. We should. We should get out of it. I need to wrap this up because our children need picking up. I need to cook dinner. But a little reminder that if you've enjoyed this episode, obviously review it. But also in addition to that, subscribe to us either on Spotify or Apple Podcast, making sure those subscriptions, they are the lifeline of this podcast. Oh, I better subscribe, actually.

Sorry to have been that. come on you sit there every week and like give this instruction and you ignore it oh I can't have too much of a good thing okay

I don't want to yeah look I am subscribed on one platform but not the other which one that's as I agree you can join us on social media

as well which I'm subscribed to all of those I think I don't know if I was capable so you can join us on socials anywhere really

Instagram TikTok YouTube oh just real quick on the YouTube front and Facebook We know there are a number of people who love to watch us on YouTube. Oh yes.

Now, we would love it if that number was a little bit higher. If I'm being completely honest. Let's start the begging. But we obviously are trying to figure out right now how we can do more episodes of this podcast. One thing that takes a huge amount of time and energy resource is editing the YouTube. It's not as simple as people may think. It takes a long time. Now, we are faced with the decision right now of do we A,

continue YouTube, continue with a current number of Eps, or B, no longer do YouTube as a full edit, and instead we will put that time and energy into a second Monday episode. That's what we're currently faced. Scenario A, scenario B, would love to hear your thoughts. Do we put a poll up on Facebook? We'll put a poll up on Facebook, on Instagram, get people's thoughts.

The last thing you want to do, because if there are some people who love the YouTube, we don't want to pull the rug underneath you and leave you high and dry, but ultimately we're trying to think of a way that we can put more episodes out and at the moment unless someone wants to donate their time into it for us.

Hey! Hey, we're open to that. That's a third option. So just to manage your expectations, that's what we're currently debating right now here at the office of Two Doiding Dads. Until then, till next time, goodbye. Bye.

Two Doating Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respects to their elders, past and present, respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Island of people's today. This episode was recorded on Gatigal Land.

Why am I getting thrown into that? What do you mean? Why is it that that's so me when I was not there? He's just trying to get under your skin. I know. It works. I do like a roast chicken though. If you had a bottle of Pepsi Max, it was definitely me.

And it'd block of cably chocolate. That's a one-time use.