Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash - #235 Cock-blocked By A Tooth Ache

Episode Date: June 16, 2026

Ash is having a rough week. Not only is he battling a toothache, but it also cost him a shot at some much-needed romance. He's also got an all-time "poonami" story after literally following his nose to discover one of his kids was hiding a nasty surprise. Meanwhile, Matt is flying solo on parenting duties and soaking up all the praise, while testing what he believes is a groundbreaking parenting hack - strategically offloading his kids onto families they meet at the park. Plus, the boys go head-to-head on a parenting debate that divides plenty of families: is it actually good for kids to sleep in your bed? And more smart parenting hacks from the Doters who really are some of the smartest parents going around.  Consider yourself a smart shopper? Take the ALDI IQ Test today at www.IQ.ALDI.com.au and find out if you’re a true grocery genius... or not. ALDI. Good different. If you need a shoulder to cry on:  Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ashton. Matthew. You got a little delivery from the Brisbane Broncos. I did. Did you notice anything different about the delivery? It was all black. Okay. With some silver riding.

It was a black jersey. Anything else? No? Did you pick up on anything? It's for a good cause. Maybe one of the best gags that I've ever done. I thought. I'll tell you what it is in just a second.

Welcome back to Two Dating Dads. I'm Maddie J. I'm Ash. This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good. It is the bad. And they're relatable. And if you come for advice, it won't happen.

So, Ash, what happened was? I'm confused. That delivery. Okay. Someone from the Broncos messaged me and said, would Ash want a jersey? I did want a jersey because it was for a good course. And I said, can you send me your details, your address? Yes.

I sent it on. However, I changed some of the details ever so slightly. Go on. I'm so confused. I put you down as Ashton Wickelsworth. And I was like, wait until he gets this. Didn't even know, is it? Okay.

I'm pretty sure they didn't do that. Damn it! That's good gear, though. Wiggles were... Yeah, Laura was like, what are you laughing on over there? Giggle to yourself is gold. And I was like, nothing. And it's just like, no, what are you up to?

And I was like, I've just set one of the world's best pranks. World's best pranks is a bit rich. And I was like, now, Laura, now we wait. I didn't even see it. Damn it! I was wasted. I was like, oh, this is going to be good, because then I'll go home and check, but I've only kept the inner, the inners of the outer.

The packaging's been discarded. It was just in like an express. Yes. Hey, great concept for the Jersey, which is the Black Dog Foundation. So for men's mental health week. So I love that. You're welcome. So thank you.

Mr. Wigglesworth. I've burned it. Mr. Wicklesworth. You are we referred to from here on out. Public holidays as a parent. It's just fucked. I forgot. Honestly, I, I,

what do you have? What do you mean? Someone said to me, it was Saturday, we were doing Saturday morning soccer, and someone was like, what do you got playing for the long weekend? I went, when is it? They're like, breaking news, you're in it. What? Right now.

Yeah, and the kids were like, yeah, duh. I was like, fuck off, you didn't know what a calendar is. Anyway, it was fine, I guess. There is no other reaction than just like a big sigh when I'm like, oh, there's a fucking public holiday coming up. And it just like, just, I'd rather, no offense to the kids. I love you guys. You guys dearly, but I'd rather have you in school than after school care.

Yeah, I was like, why are you not getting dressed for school? I'm not going to school. Damn it! I had made the whole weekend very long, I will say. There were a lot of activities had. And my heart goes out to all the parents who had to try and fill that time. What was your top activity? Oh, we played a lot of basketball in the driveway this weekend.

And I have a kelpie. So he doesn't... Does that, like, do you invite in your little complex? Do you invite friends over? Are people like, oh look, Ash is there playing? We'll send Billy down. He can play along. So they want me to babysit for them.

Well, which just, I think it's, you know. No one's ever actively come out. You're not, they're probably like, there he is. Get away from him! He's scary looking! I'm out there with smoking a cigarette. Covered in tats. Covering his hats.

Yelling at my kids. Eye patch. Get the ball in the fucking hoop, Oscar! Sounds exactly like me. He's got trauma. Maybe we won't send him down. We play this game called poo, which is horse. You know the game, horse, but it's because it's, poo's funny, you're the kids.

It's great. I thought, let's play poo. And Oscar's the worst loser. Oh my God, he screams and then runs off and then I'll be like, well, I guess I'm still the winner. And as he runs away, and then eventually he'll calm down and come back and be like, let's go again. I'm like, okay. Don't antagonize a poor fellow. Don't tell me how to parent.

But yeah, lots, lots had. Oh, Oscar learned how to ride a bike. That's huge. He could do it, but like. Hang on a second. You led with your your son at poo. And then you're like,

any way in another news, Oscar's married and you had two children and he's moved out of home. Oh, that's amazing. Moving right along. Is it really that big of a milestone? That's, like, here's a fun, fun one for a.

Vic, can you ride a bike? Yeah. Guess who can't? April. Oh. Oh, now you feel bad. Yeah, I can fucking do it. Who the fuck can't?

Oh, I actually think that's really mean that she never learned. No, blame Frank. She never... I taught her how to ride a bike. It would have been 10 years ago. Wait, from training wheels or what? No.

That one tickled him. That's the best joke you ever had. Very good. All right, just end the show. That wasn't even a question. End the show. I can't continue. That was too good.

That wasn't even a joke. I was genuinely interested. Well, stick with that. Whatever that is. Continue with that. I liked it. No, I got her a bike for a birthday once. I got matching bikes.

Knowing that she couldn't with the thought behind of the I'm going to teach you how to ride a bike because I can ride a bike it's not that hard. Evidently it is. She did learn from me really quickly

on a like a just like a playing field till there's no people around as soon as we got that's what we tried to do the Arabian Lake as soon as we got any of people just like

oh no! And she's like but she's a dancer she's got great balance how dare you refer to my wife as a stripper No, she's got great balance, great mobility. She does, what?

I've seen stories where she's had a couple of vinos in hand. She does like a good boogie. She's doing backflips. She can do it. She's just, I think it's just the people around. Yeah, I get that. She wants to try again. So, ever you taught Marley yet?

No, we thought you could teach Marley as at the same time I teach April. And it's a competition. No. No. Just for the lull? No, Marley, she's blessed her cotton socks. She is no good. I've tried me.

I guess it's one of these things you've got to keep at it, but she gets frustrated. She hates it. But every time, every time we're walking and we see a kid on a bike, she's like, gosh, God damn it. Yeah. How? It's one of those things you go stick out. And we got the bikes at Christmas and when we had trouble, we got the bikes delivered and all four tubes of the tire were far.

That's right. I was still dealing with that. Stitch up. April kept saying to me, you need to fix. because it happened again. You need to fix Oscars. We only got divorced over it. One of those things in the house that it's like,

it's on the very bottom, like, unless Oscar's going to, let's ride the bike, he forgot even had a bike. You know, and then I changed it. We got out a couple times over the weekend. Macy,

no leg strength. No. She's like, he. From starting, from flat ground, just that first bit of momentum. I know.

I have to give her a little push and then she stops pedaling. She's like, it stopped. But then when I got to give them a push My kids are like Don't touch me I got this

And I'm like Then I don't touch And they're like We're gonna help me or not Which one is it? Let go me let go me Don't let go Don't let go on me

It's the poor thing I kept having to adjust the seat Because I'm like you need to keep I said if you stop Pedaling the bike will stop And then she was like Okay And I'm like you got to pedal

She was like Oh my god's sake If it makes you feel any better about April, Laura, I'm pretty sure I'm not making this up. Laura can ride, however. She rides a motorbike. She's like, no, you'd think that, right? But she had a severe accident. I think she broke her shoulder, maybe even her arm.

On a bicycle? Good question. What are your classical skills like? My bicycle. Do you know anything about your wife? She's got cracked feet and she washes them in the sink. End of, that's it. And her birthday is the 28th of.

No, I'm pretty sure because I, I have the e-bike, and I have a few times I said to Laura, like, hey, just have a little go, just have an attempt. And she was, like, petrified. It was like she was like, she was behind the wheel of an F-1 car. She was like, ah, I don't want to do this. Well, technically, I know what that's like, because I was a similar. So, yeah, so Laura is also, she needs a lot of practice. Do you used to hit jumps when you were a kid?

Oh, yeah, used to live at Mount Coothan National Park. I used to love it. So, sick. There's so many cool little, like, jump tracks in the wetland. at Worrywood there, like the kids have made. But of course, there's an old lady who walks around and knocks them down. Fucking Barbara. Speaking of old ladies.

Speaking of boomers. Speaking of old ladies, Ash. Yes. Imagine turning the ripe old age of 112. That is twice as long as I want to live. No. Yeah. 55, 56.

I'll start to say my goodbye. I know. Imagine getting to like 56. Imagine getting to 56 and going, I'm halfway there. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah, 56, 112. There we go.

Fuck about it, maths. Imagine being like 10 and being like, fuck. It looks like 12. She looks pretty good. Shout out to her name is Lorna, Hensstridge. That's an old person. Nay, Patterson. She was born June 6, 1914.

That's like before World War I. Yeah. She has lived through two pandemics, two world wars, the Great Depression and 26 Australian Prime Ministers. Holy shit. I wonder what a secret is. Well, it says in the article that she still goes out for coffee three times a week and goes for a walk every single day. Yeah, she's just lost.

I did a shoot with a 95-year-old for her 95th birthday and I asked her what her secret to along and happy life is. And she also said, you have to go for a walk every single day. It's something about moving your muscles. It's also for your mental health. Walk is boring. It's the secret. Walking every day. Use it or lose it, as they say.

Put a podcast in. That's what I'm worried about. back with Nana. Nana's like, because Buster's slowing down, Nana takes him for a walk. She's only walking down like 20 meters out the front door and she's back again. And I'm like, you need more than that. I'm there on two leashes, Nana and Buster. And I'm like, come on, do you poos.

Come on, Nana, quickly. How's Buster's poos going, by the way? Yeah, he did, off, actually. He didn't poo this morning, which is. Oh, God. Concerning. Ticking time bomb. Speaking of pooing, Macy's a bog monster.

Go on. Where she just shits in toilets and. leaves it. Oh, Louis doesn't. Actually, why do kids not want to flush the toilet? What is it? They're fucking ginormous. When I say monster, emphasise the monster.

The small, no, was it the morning? No, was it yesterday on a public holiday somewhere along the line of those three days that never ended. I was like, oh, go to a quick way in our onsuit, get in there, and I'm like, fuck, it stinks in here. Look down. There's a... And she's there, guys. Bigfoot's shit in the bottom of them.

And she's like, don't touch it. I'm saving it for later. Leave it. Honestly. My kids get the shits, literally. When I flush the toilet, they're like, wait! I wanted to get one last look at it. One last sniff.

Like, what the... What is it that? Just like let it go, dude. Let it go. You got to keep on them, hey. You got to keep on Oscars, the big three. He's missing the big three now. Remember we had that issue where I was saying, hey, okay, finish, flush, wash your hands, whatever, the big three.

Put the seat down. That's the one. And he was doing two of the three of those things every time. And it wasn't the same as two of the three. He'd either wash his hands flush or wash his hands, put the seat down, not flash. He's not doing any of them anymore. Can he wipe his own bum? Yeah.

Yeah. Can I ask, does he poo at school? I don't know. I don't, I've never been in there when he's taking a shit. I'll ask him, though. Actually, that's a good question. I don't think so. My kids hate it.

Oh, yeah. Do you use the shit at school when you're in? I can't remember. Freak. Actually, I went into school camp, right? Telibadra, Gold Coast. Oh, Talley Valley. Right?

And it was into school camp. And there were bullies in the other schools. And I was fucking, I was petrified of going to the toys because they were like bigger. And they were just such bullies. I didn't shit for a whole week on the- Holy shit. Start to finish on the school camp. I was like, I'd go in there and then it would be like, what are you doing?

And I'd be like, nope, turn around, be like, not today. You're the quickest shitter I've ever met too right now. That's probably why. That's probably why. It's the trauma. Timid. I used to work with this guy. I used to eat with his elbows up so that no one would steal his food.

And here you are. You're just like, in and out. I shit with my legs across the door being like, no one come in. I don't want to embarrass Macy, but considering we're on the top here. The other day, I'm at home with Macy. Macy's in a room playing lovely. It's so nice.

She is a very good at imaginative play, unlike Oscar, who's just like, What do we do it next? But he's like, she's in there. She tinkers away for ages. And I walked in and I was like, it's right, their room is right next to the bathroom. And I was like, I could smell that someone had done a shit. And I was like, did you poo maize?

And she was like, yeah. Okay, went in. She didn't flush. But I also noticed there was a big pooey handprint on the toilet roll. Oh, God. And I was like, what the fuck? And then I was like, all right, I'll give it the benefit of the doubt. And I flushed it and I cleaned up that beer.

And I went, brung the washing in, because I'm a good guy. Thank you. Didn't even have to get asked. Just put that one in there? I didn't even have to get asked. After that, I und did the dishwasher up. Oh, this guy. Like just April.

Vicks over there just like, oh, man of my dreams! Oh, what's next? He's going to make the bed? Fuck! Anyway, the bar is low as good, isn't it? That's so low. I'm going to enjoy it for as long as it's low. Vicks were going to be like, yeah.

Anyway, so I went back a little bit later. After it may have wafted out. It could still smell. And I was like, oh, fuck, here we go. I was like, Macy, have you wiped your bottom properly? Was it squiggly? No, no, no, no. No, no.

No, no. I know when Squiggies done one. It's on the floor. And I'm like, hey, Macy, did you wipe properly? And you know how sweet she is? Yeah. Yeah. I was like, okay, I'm really, really sorry.

I'm going to have to check. Bra, she had shit all over her legs. All over her legs. Down her legs, upper back. So she's white dead. front to back and smear the upper back as far as she can reach. She had a clear-as-day handprint of her hand on her back that was shit. And then I looked at her, she's changed her clothes and everything.

So she's trying to hide it from me. Poor thing. But I said to her, hey, I don't want you to ever feel that you can't, if there's been a mistake. And then I was like, hey, just so that you know. And I just told her a few times that I've shut my pants, okay, which we know. Guilty. Yeah. Which I've been really good.

You have been very good lately. I'm Jew. I told her about a... The bar is low. It is low. I told her about the... I don't know. I've told you this one.

It was a manly Brisbane game. Yeah. At Suncorp Stadium. And I was way up the back with a friend. And I thought I'd let out a cheeky far, but it wasn't. So I've shit myself at Suncorp Stadium. And I thankfully I was staying in the hotel. Like father.

Like daughter. So I've had to clean it. And I said to April, I said, hey, just let her know she had a Poonami as we call it around here. And she was like, oh, what? And I was like, yeah, because it's winter. She's got a few layers of clothes on. Every layer soiled, literally. I had to put her in the shower. Yeah, you got it. Yeah, I tried to wipe her up with a wife, just so that she didn't feel so bad. And I was like, you're going to have to get in the shower.

Get in the garden. Possum, you're going to have to get in the shower. And she was like, I thought you didn't like pet names. She's Potson. Hang on a second. Where's this come from? You held that back last week. I call her Puddin. I call her Pudson. Yeah, Possum sometimes. What's that? What's that? What's that a pet name? I forgot. Thank you. Anyway, I admit it.

Oh, it's adorable. Anyway, so she shit herself and it was everywhere. Can I just, I know that we talk about shit a lot. Carry on. I'm just going to just really quickly. I did something stupid talking about laundry as well. Laundry's had a good run for the last couple episodes. I was trying to help out.

At home, just a good guy. Just a good guy. Look at me. Kind of just like take on as much as I can around the house. I put a few loads of washing on. Oh, shit. Thank you. Thank you.

Nana nervous, though. Yeah. Nana's like, what are you doing? Well, Nana's not here. Nana's gone down south to Aladala. So she's gone. With who? With her girlfriends.

Oh, must be nice. Yeah, I know. One of her birthdays. She's already fucking broken the air on, fuck, that's another story. So I'm doing the washing and at the same time, I don't want to put this on Laura, but there's like a dirty,

some dirty items that she just puts at the base of the washing machine. So not into the laundry basket, just set the base. She's skipped the middleman all together. Skip the middleman. And as I've taken things out, like some of the onesies, for example, which, you know, it's a high turn around. I just want to get them dry.

So I take them out of the washing machine, put them in the dryer. Some of them have fallen. So then I've just picked up what's in front of me, put it in there. Poppy had a Poonami. Shit all the way up the backside. So a full load of fucking undies and socks and onesies and kids clothing. I then put in the dryer with a shit-filled onesie. You've heated up, you've literally heated up a fucking turn.

I was like, you got to smell on that. Is that, you could, it's something, not quite right? That's what it would probably smell like if a port-a-loom lit up on fire. I was like, bust it get outside. He was like, what have I done? And I was like, you know, it was you. And then finally, Laura was like, what the fuck is this? And I, poor of me.

Poor old me. Poor old me. Just trying to help out. You know, I've done a couple loads of washing. You've made more work for everyone. And you stank the house out. And there I am, thinking I'm getting close to the finish line. I can right back at the start.

Start again. Right back at the start. And I was like, it's fine. It's fine. Just put it in the wardrobe. It'll air out. Oh, I will not. See ya.

Did you wash it? Oh, yeah. It's a rewash. Yeah, that's going to say. That's right. Now I'm rationing the fucking laundry detergent. Get the sheets. Get the laundry sheets.

I'm the capsules. Oh, God. Just really quickly. Not to harp on about me and my situation. You know, because it's not, it's not about me. Let's move on then. I don't want to be, I don't want to be the victim here. But I just want to let people know, make people aware that law has gone to India for 11 days.

And Nana's also an al-a-dollar. So, you know, you know, just, I'm just doing what I can. I'm doing the best that I can. You can do things your way the whole time. Think about that way. I'm going to do it all my way with no interruptions from anyone else trying to butt in. It should be smooth sailing, if you ask me. How long is she in Al-a-Dala for?

Nana's back another week she's going for. A week? I know. There's nothing to do down there for that long. No, they're loving it. They're going to the wineries and the, like, they went for a walk to the harbour. They're having the time of their lives. Who's they?

Who got here? Helen's there. Lynn's there. Lynn. As well. Man, I want to go to this house. Wait, Lynn went? Oh, damn.

I would have gone. So now I'm, I'm staring down the barrel. It's me and the nanny. Not nana. It's very confusing your house. I know. It's just. me, the nanny, the gardener of the chef.

I'm just kidding. We feel for you. Thank you. And I did. I didn't do this. I didn't do this to get the reaction like that. But if you, you know, solo parenting can be tough.

It can be tough. But as Ash said, you can do it your way. I find sometimes when Dan's not here, I'm like, yes. Now I can just do things like my way. Oh, we won't tell Dan that, will we? If you're listening, Dan, she didn't mean it. But yeah, without someone button in. It's my way or the highway.

when Mum's not there. When April's down, I'm like, I'm like, oh, sorry, babe. It's just, I feel like I'm going into battle. Good. Keep us updated. We're hearing you. We're feeling for you. I've got a hot tip, though.

I like to get the kids on side. So I preempt what's going to happen. And so I say, look, it's just mummy here. We're a team. It's two against one. You got to listen to me. Yeah. Because I'm outnumbered.

You talk to us like that, though. Are you talking to the ass or then, but you're like, I'm outnumbered. Yeah, you are. I use all my parenting hacks on you guys. You do. You test them out on us. The other day you opened up your palms and you were like, I wonder what it would be like if we got the out of here on time.

We were like cobbress snakes that had been like hypnotized by the playing the, we're like, what is it, Vic? Yes, we will get out of here on time. Ash, I also, just before, we are still in housekeeping for those who are playing along at home, really quickly. Not sure if you've noticed, if you're aware of this type of behavior, I actually didn't know we were doing it. And so I think it's important that we can self-reflect, we can learn.

What do you mean by where we're doing it? Oh, it's more you. No, actually, no, it's both of us. Sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't do anything wrong. Vic, I'm not sure if you've noticed that we are doing this, Ash and myself. We attack boomers.

Oh, yeah. Okay, great. Okay. What do you mean? That's not a bad thing. It's just part of life. Yeah, I know. I know.

And look, they are... They want to play the victim, doesn't it? They're an easy target. And I just want to read out a lovely message that we received from Melanie who is in fact a boomer. That's not a boomer name though, Melanie. I know. So maybe she's cosplaying.

Maybe she's changed her name. Because she changed it from Barbara. Poor Barbara's getting a run today. But Melanie says, I tell all my friends about you and my daughter's friends, as I love your podcast. It's my favorite.

I'm a boomer. You're owning it. I like it. I think that's what they should do. Stop whinging. You're never going to combat it. You might as well own it. Well, she says,

So please be gentle with your boomer criticisms. Okay. This is why I've got a problem with it. Oh, God. Okay. You created the monster. We're pointing it out. I am the child of boomer parents who butt their nose in the business that's not

nothing to do. If you're getting grouped in with that, I apologize. We can't generalise, Ash. I can. I will. She says here, please go easy on us. We are not all stuck in the 60s or 70s. Even though you bag the boomers, this is still my.

favorite podcast. By far, love from Melanie XXX. Look, if we stopped, this show would lose its charm. Melanie, I, to be honest, I love, I love you. I love you. I love that we have you as part of. Okay, I'll admit it. I take the piss out of boomers because I can. Doesn't mean I don't love you. Well, look, I think, doesn't mean I don't love you. I'm the ying to your yang. So whilst you attack them, I'll always finish it off with a bit of, you know, with a softer, like, You'll finish them off with a soft to what? Stuff to touch. Nice.

I'm soft to touch. It's like you, you like knock past them on the footpath and then I turn around and go, I'm so sorry. So sorry about him. So sorry. He's stuck in his ways. Yeah. He's technically a pre-boomer. I'm pre-boomer.

Because before we know, we're going to be fucking booms. Oh, I know. It's not, it's one of those things where it's like, we'll make fun of you because it's as like endearment. It's because we love you. There it is. See? Nice and toxic. So Mel, nice and toxic.

toxic. I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong. Actually, Ash. Oh, now you're going to pump me up after that. I always pump you up. You're a great friend, a great guy, even better dad, and an amazing podcaster. Wow. Put that on there. I felt so sarcastic. I think that whole thing, but I'll take it. I feel like you need to get better at compliments. I'm no good at that. I am no good at. I'm good at giving them. Oh, yeah? Not to you. I'm good at giving them in subtle ways. I would say it's not a strength. Well, but I can't, I can't, I hate it. Here's one for you. Get comfortable because we want to say here.

Congratulations for being six months sober. It's a huge achievement and you should be incredibly proud. Thank you. Thank you. Wow. First the laundry. Now he's six months sober. What?

What can't the man do? The man, what a man. What a man. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. He's taking it well. I don't know.

I don't know. I'm squirming hard. over here. I don't like silence and I don't like compliment. And if someone sings me happy birthday in public, a friendship, I will divorce April if she gets that organized. So be warned. She knows. It's written down so she doesn't make that mistake.

But thank you. It's been a very long and quick six months in the same time. I don't know. I've got mixed feelings at the moment. Go on. I don't know. I just wasn't well last week and then we'll get to my two stuff. I just, a bunch of things that I just wasn't.

hopefully from here it's all upwards. I do want to hear about your tooth, but before we talk about the tooth... I succumbed to the mouth. We're very proud of you. Thank you. Way to make it more awkward. Go for it. All right, Nick.

We love you. Thank you. Vic, what do you got for us? All right, for breaking news today. Babies who sleep beside a parent receive 13,000 extra hours of touch by age three. That's how much sleep I lose, though. Yeah. Experts say that kind of closeness can help with bonding, stress regulation, and emotional development.

The viral story claims that responsive physical contact is biology, not spoiling, although safe sleep experts still warn parents to follow recommended sleep guidelines. Oh, fuck off. Let us sleep with our kids. I don't want to get out of my room. No, I love it. How often do you guys have kids in your bed? As soon as I don't tell them to come in that night, they're in that night.

Yeah, now that we were on a good wicket with Lola, because she knew that when Poppy was in the room, that she couldn't come in. And now that poppies out, Lola's like, fucking perfect. Stroll one in there. Straight on it like night one. She was like, live over than come.

She was like, I'm back. I heard there's an opening. I'm here to interview for the opening. Literally. And then since that moment, just every single night. You don't have a huge bed too. You and Laura are quite close quarters.

Yeah, what size have you got? Oh, I've got a Super King. Do you? Yeah. Must be nice. I was gifted it a while back, a couple years back. What are you sleeping on, Matt? A queen.

What? Is it a queen? That's a queen. I reckon with kids you need a king minimum now. Okay, but hear me out. Not to make me sound like I'm being creepy. The small of the bed, the more we're forced to cuddle. I see that.

Think how stinky that congregation of breath would be? The morning. I love it. I hear that's why. It's their own. I don't like to be touched. Like, really? I don't mind a cuddle in the morning if they come in at a...

If they come in at two or three in the morning, it's usually my back that's a pin cushion. It's just like... It's like Oscar is... He runs all day and then he falls asleep and he runs in his sleep. Oh, gosh. I wonder what he's running from. How's April?

She's like sleeping next to a dead body. She doesn't move. She doesn't move. Her mom, my mother-in-law, Meredith, the shout-out. That is a great boomer name. Isn't it just? Had the same fringe since she was. as a toddler, like same style hair.

And I said to April, you escaped it. I don't know how you escaped. What the fringe? Yeah, she had it for like a brief period, like when she was really, really young. But April's mom still has it. If she tied her hair back, I wouldn't recognize her. I wouldn't know who. I'm like, who were you?

In my house. It's me, Meredith. It's me. She's not that old. She's 110, okay? Not 112, no. She's in the end of 60s. So April went away with her mom and brother years ago.

And her mom comes up to me and she was like, they shared a bed in this hotel. And she said, have you noticed anything about your wife's sleep habit? I was like, what? She's like, she falls asleep immediately, is one, and then she doesn't move when she gets out of the bed, all she has to do is fold the sheet back over and carry on with the life. She's like, we didn't even need, like, the room to be made up.

It's so perfect. That's the dream, though, isn't it? It is the dream. Besides having a check for a pulse, like four times in the night. I have a few times. And you're like, thank God. I'm, I toss and I got restless legs, so I toss and turn a lot. But then so does Oscar.

So the two of us in there. It's like a break dance off. It's like it runs up. Yeah, it's just like someone's in there doing a robot. Macy's moonwalking. Does Macy move in her sleep too? Yeah, not as much. She comes in covered in shit.

She's like, she's just covered in shit and she snores. She's like, she has that one. It's pitch black, but I know Macy's in the bed because I hear this. Oh. Like the sliders. Even her snores again. Thank you. I know, I know.

But I also, like, end up laying on her hair and stuff. It's fucking annoying. Just stay in your, if I, if we don't say, stay in your bed tonight, and sometimes we'll forget, they'll fall asleep, we'll be in bed, well, should we wake them up and tell them? Because they'll come in. They'll just come in. Does Marley come in?

Not as much. Not as much. She used to come in my side and we'd have, I'd just, like, spoon them. I'd, like, wrap up. I don't mind the more. I love the morning soon. Love spooning. And, and I always thought, I'm like, this is good for development.

Nice and tactile. We're a tactile family. we're very like, we cuddle. They all just stacked on top of each other on that single bed. Yeah, I do it with Louis. Like, I lie with him before he goes to sleep. And then I've got to lie with Lily and it's this competition every night between the two

who I lie with first. Oh, God, yeah. And then in the night, recently, Louis has been coming in every single night. And I tell him, don't come in unless you've had a bad dream. And so every night he's like, I had a bad dream. Oh, yeah. Oh, they pulled that out.

And I was like, well, I know what I know what? it feels like to have a bad dream. It's awful. He's got you. He's got... No, Macy even preempted a bad dream. She was like, I was like, April said the same thing. As you would, right? Don't come in unless you're having a bad dream.

And Macy before she goes to bed. What funny thing is? I think I'm going to have a bad dream tonight. I think I'm going to have a bad dream tonight. It's like going, I've got a sore throat. I wonder how I'm going to be at work tomorrow. Yeah, or Oscar was doing that thing. Like, he would pretend like he didn't know how he got there.

So the next morning I'm like, what are you doing in here? And he's like, where am I? Oh. Who is that? You carried me in here. I was like, no. The last thing I would do is carry you into my bed. They work the system.

My kid's always like, fine, absolutely fine. I don't want to sleep with you anyway. All day, the moment they go down, the horizontal, like, ooh, it's that a bit of growing pain. Growing pain in the shoulder. Yeah. Oh, that's coming to nowhere real quick. The things that they'll just yell out to get you to go in and check on them, just for that little bit of attention.

Oscar will be like, I need to get something from my room. You're in your room. Or he'll be like, Mom, what's this? What's this? I need a band-aid. What's this? I walk in and he's like, it was just here. It was just here.

It's like, oh my God, fuck. Just stay in your bed. Shut up. Go to sleep. But it's good. But it's good where we're helping the kids develop. Is that right, big? Yes.

We are helping them feel loved. Yeah, I love that. Just don't let it turn into it. I do sometimes think. I do sometimes wonder. And I'm like, fuck, the amount of love we give our kids, like, you know, I think it was a bit resilient building, not having that much love. You know, like, you wonder.

Sometimes I just like ignore them. Sometimes I'm like, are you getting too much of a good thing? I make my kids work for it sometimes. Yeah. I'm like, like, there's a big difference between hurting yourself and then hurting yourself and crying for the attention. and I think same with a lot of aspects, right, where you're like, okay, well,

do I need to give you an X amount of love here or are you just looking for it? And like, for example, Oscar, say he hurts himself. I've hurt myself my whole life. I know how much things hurt. And I'm like, hey, move your fingers. There's one thing I know where it's hurt. Yeah.

I was born into hurt. So especially if he hurts his hand, like catching the football, right? You know, it's like when you stub your finger. And I'm like, can you move it? Yep, shake it off. And if he can move it and shake it off, he's fine in my eyes. But if he carries on, I'm like, now you're just carrying on. He'll be like, oh, yeah, you're right.

Yeah. You know, like, they just want that little bit of extra. But you've got to build a bit of a zetic thing. Right. I'm like, oh, I'm like, I love you so much. I don't love you. I would do anything for you. Then I'm like, should I fucking dial this back?

Yeah. Okay. Hey, Ash. Yeah. Talking about hurt. Fucking good segues today. Good segues. That was good.

Great. I'm on segue game is A plus. Strong. You had us worried sick. Oh, yeah. Last week. Fuck. Ash did the old, like, photo in the ER waiting room into the group chat.

It was like, don't know if I'll make it into work tomorrow. I was pre-empting a sickie. Oh, my God, what's wrong? What have you done? Do you know what? There's a cafe here in this suburb that we, in North Sydney, that we've been. I love how it's the last thing you ate. You were like, it was that cafe.

I'm going to sue them. I will. I'm not. It's my own damn fault. Okay? They do a... They do a very good cookie. Very good cookie. And I was eating a cookie on the way home, the one that I didn't tell you guys about. I didn't want to share it. I also had a cookie. Not the same type as yours. Yours was the double chocolate. A double chocolate in it? Mine was the white chocolate macadamia.

Bit of salt in there? Bit of salt. Dan even came home when talking about cookies with you guys. Because he refused a cookie. He refused the cookie. He was like... I would be worried about him. You watch yourself for that. guy. He's not good if you don't like cookies. But anyway, I had this cookie on the way home. I was eating it and driving. Okay, it wasn't a hazard. It was doing it safely. And then I was like, ah, like, okay, it just felt a bit funny back there. Way up at the back, like, Wisdom Tooth, molar area. I'm not a dentist. And what? I know. I was an anti-dentat previous to, yeah,

Tuesday. I recorded all day with you guys. I was already like a bit crook from the weekend before. I was a bit snuffly and I just thought okay well maybe my signers is just blocked up. Anyway, I get home and around bedtime, I'm like, fuck, I'm aching up here. Like my face is aching and I could find some reprieve like with a bit of cold water, a bit of ice bag. I was like, okay, well, I'm just going to have to go to the doctor in the morning. And it progressively got worse and worse and worse to the point where it was unbearable. And I said to April, I was really upset actually. I was really upset because it was, we had pre-planned sex.

on the cards. Oh, no. And I was like, not now. This soldier needs to fight on. Don't leave me behind. April's like, oh no. He's like, oh no. What a shame.

Actually, I don't have a headache. Anyway, I was like, really excited too. I was like, you know, I really need this. Really could use it. And then I was like, I'm, it was. You're there beads of sweat. Why does it go? She's like, April, I'm good.

I'm good to go, babe. My pants are off. She's like, ah, maybe we should reschedule them. Pants are off. Couldn't get in erection because all the blood was in my tooth. Anyway, I was like, I'm going to have to go. I'm not far from the emergency care. Not emergency hospital, emergency care.

Similar thing. What's the difference? I think it's more, like, less critical. Like, you know, when you're in emergency, you could be like, I've got a toothache. And then someone comes in who's like, been stabbed or something. It's not, it's not. And you're like, ah, I was here first. Excuse me.

I have a sore tooth. And I pull. up, I went, I was like, fuck. I said no to sex to be here. Factual, that is more important. So, technically I'm in front. What's that, you gasping for air? So am I.

I've gasped before. I'll gasp again. Anyway, I got there and she was like, can I help you? I was like, yeah. And I couldn't, it was so painful. I couldn't get through my name address, Medicare. I was like, I was like,

damn it! Just give me something. got through it and they sat me down, took my blood pressure, 177 over 82. What is, I don't know. She said, did you sprint here? Like, I had, like, that's how high my heart rate was. The 170's the heart rate.

Yeah. Sorry, 177 over 82. And she was like, whew! Like, she only fell off a seat, this poor girl. Wow. And she was like, they obviously give you the spear a little bit of opioids because they're going to give you some oxy cotton. And they're like, have you had opioids before?

And I was like, not to my knowledge. Yes, I have. Maybe accidentally. Maybe accidentally give me some. No, I was like, okay, so they do the whole thing and make sure that you're not a junkie. So they went through all that and I took the oxycotton and they're like, okay, so you just wait in the waiting room for a doctor to see you. But you have to have someone to pick you up. I was like, okay, well, I'm going to have to organize April to get her dad over so April can come get me.

Because I don't want Frank to come and get me because I'm a whole thing where Frank, it would be awkward. I'll have sex with you. Yeah, yeah. Frank would be like, what will we up to this afternoon? like, bad to have sex with your daughter. April, I'm really sorry about this story. And then I said, hey, can you date? I was also feeling very anxious.

Funny you ask, Frank. I was feeling very anxious because I had realized in my haste, prior to leaving the house, that you know that I take THC for sleep. Correct. Also good for pain. I was in a lot of pain. So I double dumps of THC,

trying to get rid of this pain. Okay? But I had forgotten. until after I've taken the oxy cotton. Oh, wow. And then I remembered when I was waiting for the oxycotton to numb my pain. Anyway, so April comes about 15, 20 minutes later. I'm face down in the waiting room in between.

You know, like when you're in an airport, you've got those seats. I was like, dribbling pretty much. The guy being stabbed is there standing up because you're taking up four seats. There was a lady with her baby and I was like, I hope she's not a listener. Don't see me like this. If anyone has any footage, please send it in. Well, it's good news. April got some footage.

Oh! Because what happened is April walks in and goes, the fuck is wrong with you. Like, look at you dribbling. She was like, are you having a stroke? I was like, well, the heart raise up. 1-7-192. And I said, I've taken some opioid, some oxy cotton,

and the THC that I take for sleep hit the same time. She was like, ah. And I was like, then they were like, Mr. Ashton Wix? And I was like, That's me! Just, crawling.

April had to carry me. She had to pretty much, she was like, come on you. I was like, don't look at me. Thank God your wife is so fit. I know.

That's what she's been training for, these moments. Oh, yeah. Oh, mate, the grip strength on April at the moment too. I can't undo the kids water bottles. I'm like, you need to ease up. Can I see this footage going?

Anyway, Vic's got it. Give it to me. Mind you, I haven't seen it. So she sent me. two photos. One of you is just lying down with your head covered by a hoodie. Another one, you look sitting up comatose. And then the third one is the video. I'm trusting that you wouldn't play it unless it's okay. Oh my God. It's not terrible. Oh my goodness. You got the van's on. You got the slip-on vans on as well. The dad's shoe. Okay.

Is that it? You got very husky. I don't know what to tell you. I don't know what to tell you. That could be, you know, like those hotlines? That's the best compliment he's ever received. Yeah. You look great at, that's what you're given. When you call up and you get someone who's got a real sexy voice. That's me.

Just ash on gummies and oxy cotton, is it? Yeah. Oxycontin, actually. Sorry. God, the doctor's in the house. Anyway, so. I was thinking oxy cotton, that's a funny name. Oxycontin.

Conton. Contin's. So I went home. I let you guys know I was okay, but I was honestly having the best night of my life at that point. So is, can I see. the tooth? Is it looking bad? I don't know. It's way out the back. I had to go to the dentist on Friday and it's coming out this Friday. So, gosh, gosh, gosh. He's going to have a blown up. Yes. I have succumb

to the mouth salesman. This is, yeah, this is what you get. The amount of times we've ripped shit on dentists and they've heard and they've attacked you. To be fair, the dentist that April booked me into took that last tooth out, he's a very funny guy. He was like, well, well, well. I walked in and he was like, oh, hello. What was like, I was like, oh, fuck. And he was putting his gloves on. He was like, let's get this thing out. I was like, no!

Why didn't you get it out? They were going to have to sedate me. I had no one to pick me up. I had like, just weren't prepared. For the record. And I'm scared. I would have picked you up. All the way from Bondi.

I would have. Absolutely. No, that's all good guys. I'm going on Friday. I need to be prepared for something like that. Did you be picked up on Friday? No, it's okay. Okay.

Yes. We're just, we're glad that you're still here. You're okay. And we wish you a speedy. recovery post-surgery. Please let us know how it all goes. I'm sure it'll be fine. I did mention before that my wife has left me. She's gone to India. She's working hard. Good on Laura. She was like, you're going to be okay. You're going to miss me? And I was like, you're going like, you're not gone for a month. Yeah. She was like just, I think she wanted me to be more like, oh my fucking God,

how are we going to cope? When in reality, I think you're going to be fine. Is that what it is... Well, look, I'm going to miss her, for sure. Like, the kids were upset. The kids were kind of crying as they went to bed before she left and they woke up and they were in tears as well. They were like the realization that mummy's gone. She had to leave really early this morning.

Had to leave, yeah, very early. And so also the last day before she left, she was, you know, packing her bag, going through the admin. So I had all three kids. And I found a bit of a cheat code to looking after the kids. A hack, if you will. So, took the kids. out all three kids and the dog.

What a guy. Three kids, three leg a dog. And it's that little window before Poppy has a 10 o'clock sleep. And that sleep's a two hours sleep. It's a great sleep, the best sleep of the day. So it's really important that I get home for that sleep. I don't want to have that sleep in the pram. Not going to fucking happen.

No chance. Ruin you for the rest of the day. Ah, just like that two hours is great. Just me and the older two kids. So we walk out, go to the cafe. We bump into Lex. Luther? Well, you're going to be need to be a bit more specific.

Well, Lex is, I want to shout out to Lex because she's really, Luther. Really done me a favour. So she's like, we're kind of walking back home via the park. Who is Lex? Family friend. Okay, there you go. Sorry, sorry.

I'm like, who the fuck is left? Well, like, who else is going to be? Lex Luther? Yeah, it is not Lex Luther. All right. I don't know how much more. Well, now I know that. So then, is it Superman?

Yeah. Yeah. So Superman appears. Thank goodness. Yeah. He's got kryptonite. Isn't he allergic to cryptocurrency? Yeah.

Let's go back to the story. Don't wrap me up. So then I'm walking back home via the park and Lex is like, I'm also going to the park and her kids and my kids, they play along really well. I'm like, this is great. Good incidental bump in, hang out. It's the dream. And then Poppy, I can see her in the pram. The eyes are getting real heavy.

And I'm like, oh, fuck. And so all of a sudden the 10 o'clock sleep is looking like it's going to be like a 945, like a 9. 37 sleep. I'm panicking. Time is everything. Specific time is everything. My anxiety is just like, what? It's peaking. And you're not normally an anxious guy. I'm not in a... I'm very relaxed.

I'm very relaxed. But then I'm like, okay, fuck, now I've got to try and like the kids have got in their mind the fact that they're having a play at the park and I'm like, I've got to break the news. I'm like, guys, the park play is not going to happen. Okay, no park play. And they're like, yeah, it's like I've just said Christmas is not going to happen this year. They're like,

what do you fucking mean? You moved the goalpost last minute. It's no good. The park is, we're at the park. We're physically here. And I'm like, yeah, but don't fucking take your shoes off. Blame her! We're not stopping.

We're still going. And they're like, and I look over and Lola's already like on a swing and like, Marley's really on the monkey bars. And I'm like, fuck. And I've got Buster and I got the pram. And I'm like, how am I going to? Okay. And then at this stage, Laura's gone.

She's out the door. She's running around doing errands. And I'm like, how am I going to tackle this? This is like, you know, trying to problem solve. Think of my feet. Lex. goes, hey. Lexi. Lexi goes, I'll take the kids.

Wow. It's offered. Can I just say as well, Lex's got three kids also? Voter into the Prime Minister. That's outstanding behavior. And I'm like, I couldn't leave you with the kids. And she goes, nah, it's fine. But up here you're like. I'm like, yes, I can. I was like, I'll say no twice.

And if she insists, then I'm going to drop the kids up. If she says, if you say no, say the first time, you say, oh, no, it's fine. She's like, okay, fine. Yeah, then I'm like, don't it. No, please, please, please, please, please, please, please. And she was like, no, do you know what? The kids all play so well together. It's kind of easier if they're all together anyway.

And any issues, I'll just give you a text. And I was like, I still, I felt very guilty. I did, I did. I was like, are you sure? Are you positive? And she's like, yeah, get the fuck out of here. It's fine. Then, to top it all off, there's a party being set up at the park.

And they've got entertainment. Who's the entertainment? K-pop demon hunters. Oh, like a, uh, uh, costume. Actors. They got two of them at the park. How good. Marley's like, what the fuck?

And guess what? Lex knows the lady who's having the party. This is a dream result. As I look over, Marley and Lola just, they're in the party. I was like... Did they get a party back? They didn't, but I went home, put puppy to bed. I messaged, I'm like, how the kid's going, like, yeah, great.

They're playing past the parcel. They're cutting the cake. And I was like, do you need me to come down, like, quickly, you know? No, they're moving in with me. It's fine. The perfect result. Literally. And then eventually.

eventually she's like, because she lives just down the road. She's like, oh, I was just, as I swing by, I can just drop the kids off and come at me up the front. And then she dropped the kids off. And then Laura came home. And as I had the kids, and she was like, I'm so, like, so sorry. I've been running around all day. You pulled the double.

And I was like, oh, that's okay. The kid's been pretty good. And she's like, what have you been doing? What have you been hanging out? Oh, I love that. You were taking credit for it? Yeah. The kids had face pain on.

We had a great morning. We're going to be fine when you're in India. Look at them. They're having the best time. And it's all me and me only. I'm like, there needs to be more. More Lexers out there. Is she available this weekend?

And I did it the second day as well. Did it with a dad. What? I bumped into Rich. He's got his kids. He's at the park. And you were like, my kid's got to go down. And I was like, all right, girls.

We're going to play it exactly like we did yesterday. My tears. Now, Lola, I need to freak out. And action. No, we are not Is he looking? Is he looking? Is he looking?

No, we are not staying at... Is he looking? Cry more! Rich had the kids. Oh, good on you, Rich. It's that park. I never know who Rich was. He's like dropping your kid.

Thought this was a drop and go park. Hey, it's the best. So far, it's pretty easy having no kids. Yeah, I would say... Pop me's asleep. I'm watching TV. I used to have a nap at that time. It's heaven.

So I want to say thank to the parents who have been helping me out. Yeah, that's good. Thank you. It's rare to find people that are like offer and actually genuinely mean. I don't know if they're going home being like, can you fucking believe Maddie J left me with his kids? They're on their podcast.

For two and a half hours? What a fucking bastard. I know they're on their podcast. They're on their podcast. They're on their podcast going, you're not going to believe this. Yeah. You know that guy, Maddie Jay? He just offloads his kids, people at the park.

It's the first time it's ever happened. So called parents. Yeah. And it just so happened to be the one time where like Laura's not here. Perfect. And you take, and you took credit. That's something. No, but to the parents out there, we do it more often, I think.

Community. It's the village. It's the village. Keep going back to that part because that's my advice for you. Matt, that's called Smart Parenting. Thank you. Now, we have a segment for other smart parents. So this segment is where you're writing in and tell us about your parenting hack or you're being a smart parent. So, should we kick off?

Please, you go first. This one's from Amy. Thank God I can pronounce that one. We got a RoboVAC, mine's useless, and told the children it's magic. He's obsessed with it now, so we're telling him the robot made it when we cook dinner, especially veggies, and he thinks it's amazing and eats it way more. I swear I've heard before that parents have said, the robo vac will eat you. If you're at nighttime, it goes out looking for naughty kids. That's why, like, that's traumatic.

That's a bit more scary. I like it, though. Sadistic. That will send your kids straight into your bed. Yeah. Right? So that's, I mean, theirs is much more wholesome. That's beautiful.

My kids just, when it's on, they just can't stop staring at it. It's beautiful. They're like, look at it go. I'm like, you've got a dog. That's the same thing. Walks around, cleaning up shit off the ground. From Ella, Ella, Ella, Ella, Ella, and so on and so forth. Kids keep taking food and hoarding rubbish in their rooms.

No food in the bedroom. That's my fucking rule. Tell you that right now. I know, I keep finding tiny tea packets in Macy's bed. Fucking Macy. Just tucked me into a duna. So I say you'll end up with a mouse in your room. then I continue to show them what a scary mouse looks like.

It terrifies them enough to clean their room. And once they slip up, make mouse poo from black food dye and rice and sprinkle it in their bed and bedroom and their favorite toys overnight. I find this is so good. I can assure you that there will be no nagging and no arguments to clean their room. I love how like the commitment. Like, yeah, like the prop department. You become parent who specializes in props, prop making.

You become so creative. Yeah. You're there making individual mouth. Mouse poos? Yeah. I know, I've said this before on the pub. My dad used to say, if I don't put my dishes away, they'd be, he'd put him in my bed. And he did?

He did, yeah. Yeah. I never did it again because I got to, when getting to bed one, cold night. And I was like, oh, I need to bed. Oh, what the fuck? Spaghetti. You got a good name. It would be, like, oh, apricot chicken.

I love apricot chicken. Oh, my God. Yuck. Yum. I feel like mum used to make that on rotation as torture. I thought you were about to say, Mummy? I was like, Mommy. Caitlin. See, I did that.

With a K. With a K. Not many Kelans with a K. If your kids only want plain pasta, check. Crack an egg and mix a few egg yolks into the pasta while it's still hot on the stove. You're right. In the water? No, surely not. Come on, Ash.

Well, how are you cooking your pasta? It's like a cabanara. They put like an egg. Oh, you mix it in. Like, they put an egg yolk in the cavernar. It makes the pasta creamier. You can't taste it. it plus it adds extra nutrients

so you can feel less guilty about plain pasta dishes. And then you sprangle on a bit of protein on top. April's just like, put some chicken breast on there. My kids did find it. I tried to put butter in there the other day and they were like,

what is this? You can't find your shoes, but you can find butter. But surely the kids, that's a treat. My kids, that lurpack. Well, Oscar's like, then they want that? All right, then you taste it.

To me. Bit of butter. I'm like, I don't want to taste that shit. Bit of butter on the pasta with a little bit of salt, far out. I know. That's the backbone of parenting. That's the good stuff. Okay.

The fourth one and last that we have. And also, sad news, this is the last one we'll have for this segment. But, Jerica. Jerica? Jerica. That's got to be wrong. It's got to be, where's R&S? R&S are pretty close together on the keypad.

That's got to be, Jessica. Jessica. Jessica. because she was like, I don't want, I want to be different. But also, if your name is Jerica, beautiful name as well. Like, I love how, like, why did you do this to me? It couldn't possibly be, Jerica. It can't be.

Look it up. It is. It's Jerica. Okay, this is from Jerica. 18 month old won't eat meat unless it's KFC chicken nuggets. Same. I keep the bag and get his homemade nuggets out of the KFC bag for dinner. It works every time.

Genius. Genius. My kids have gone off popcorn chicken. Oh, my kids don't like it. It's too spicy. It went spicy. What have they done? Colonel, if you're listening, sponsor us. That too. But also take the... Don't stitch up the parents.

Take the spices out of the popcorn chicken. I agree. Make life easier for us. It's like a treat was a treat. Now what am I doing? Well, Ash, these parents and all the parents who were submitted, gosh, they're smart, aren't they? But if you think you're a smart shopper. Not just a smart parent. The double. Take the Aldi IQ test.

We're at, man. Today at IQ.aldi.com. You and find out if you're a true grocery genius or not. Aldi, good, different. Mr. Wigglesworth. I forgot, yeah. Fuck it, that was like, I thought I'd come up with, like, I felt like I'd just written, like,

my version of The Simpsons. It was that clever. I was like, this is going to go down so well. It's good thinking, but I think, I don't know. I can't remember. I didn't read it. I feel like you're not one to read packaging. No.

But I feel like you are one to leave a review. No. And if... You don't know me at all. Too many segues in this episode? You can never have enough. We'll dial him back. But if you have enjoyed this episode,

make sure you follow us on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify. I literally check the data. Or you can follow us on Instagram. Every day, Ash. Every day. I look and I'm like, we had like 650 new follows on Spotify. I can't, I ejaculated. And Laura was like, what happened?

And I was like, I looked at the dark. Well, I wrote down Wigglesworth and I just came. I couldn't help myself. Wicklesworth got me erect and the data. And the data finished me off. Well said. You can join us on socials, Instagram. TikTok.

Facebook, YouTube. And I think that's everything. You can email us at hello at 2.0. You can, of course. And thank you for joining us on this fantastic episode. Oh, and just a reminder, just a reminder before you go, just letting you know, we do, of course, have Monday. episodes now every single week. So the next Monday episode will be Monday. Thank you, Ash.

Housekeeping. And that's it. We can get out again. Bye. Two Doting Dance podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respects to their elders, past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gatigal Land.