Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash - #236 Footy Before Fatherhood?

Episode Date: June 21, 2026

It's another Housekeeping episode and the boys are tackling one of parenting's toughest questions: should footy ever come before fatherhood? Matty reveals he's been flying solo while Laura and Nanna are away, so Vic suggests a little "tandem parenting" to help get through the chaos. Meanwhile, Ash's snack monster tendencies strike again, this time putting Oscar's birthday lolly bags in serious jeopardy. Plus, the boys weigh in on the latest breaking news from the pram parking front. If you need a shoulder to cry on:  Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads  Hosts: Matty J & Ash Wicks Producer: VicSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Well, we're here. We're in. Are we on? Yeah. We're a bit nervous as well. I feel like it's a first day at a new job. We'll have to do like a tour, if you will. Yeah, be quick. It does feel weird.

It does feel strange. It does. And if you're wondering why, it's because we're in a new studio. Finally. Finally, we're here. I didn't think this day would ever come. Yeah. It's here.

It sounds. Sounds different. Does it sound different? Is it good for you? Is it good for me? I feel pretty good. I feel good. Well, we moved to the studio and same thing. Now the other studio and we're like, this feels weird. It's going to take a while for it to feel natural again. No, I'm pretty much there. Okay. Okay. No, it's just, I think it's because every time we've been in this space, we've been frantically working. You know, I've been. The Dan has. Painstakingly, like, rollers in hand, painting non-stop. Really? Well, when was that? Where was it? Where was it? I was watching you paint. You organised the lights.

That's pretty good. I organised the lights. Yeah, and if you want to know what it looks like, on socials, you can see what it looks like. We've got floating shelves. Look at us with floating shelves.

Look at us. Do you want to start the show? Yeah, we better start. Sorry, Vic, sorry. Welcome back to two doting dads. Oh, fuck, so. That's how confused I am. That's how confused I am.

Wow. Yeah, I'm just, I'm like, fish out of water. You start it. If you start it, you might... You'll get yourself back in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Welcome back to two-dudding dads.

I'm Maddie J. And I'm Ash. And this is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good. It is the bad. And the relatable. I can't believe. I forgot the fucking intro.

That's all right. It happens. Wow. Soon we'll have it on the wall, so you can't forget that. And it'll be flashing at you. That's it. What's that noise?

That's the thing. Like, an LED light, could it be potentially static? I think the one I got is static. you're like I want the static one but it's a shame we can't change it to red otherwise the neighbours were looking to be like oh the brothel in next door

yeah yeah yeah I'm worried as well it might do you know when like a mobile gets too close to something it's like I'm worried about that what's up just getting a message what else about the studio that's it pretty much we're in it's it like we've been

it's more of a visual thing yeah it's really hard to explain there's four corners yeah we have a couple of points, some fake plants. Can I just say, I was a little bit nervous about your shelves, because we both have shells, you have two floating shells behind us. I was nervous about your shelves. Why? Well, I just, I don't take this the wrong way. Oh, I, oh God. No, I just, like, your passion for fake plants wasn't quite there. I don't have the passion.

Yeah, and I can tell. I could tell, whereas a fake plant, fuck, don't get me started. I can only surround myself in so much plastic. No, but you've got a little avocado that looks like Macy. Yeah. That's a nice touch. You got your little F1 cars. You got a ukulele. Oscar made that one.

You've done very well. You've got number one dead. This isn't good for podcasts. How dare you? How dare you point? Do you know what? That's why we pay Vic the big bucks. Just have a look on social media.

Or just watch the videos or watch the YouTube when it's all out. Carry on. I think that's a studio done. I think that good. Do people want more about the studio? Probably not. To be honest, every time we do a studio update, people are like, fucking out. Yeah.

What calls the mate? Oh, God. I know. I've fucking spent so long editing that video, the studio update video. Oh, yeah. And they had like two comments for like a whole day. And I was like, oh, that hurts. It does it.

It's going up now, though. It has a cloned. I know. I was like, mom, could you just, Mom? Can you just drop a comment? And she was like, oh, on the studio video. I don't know.

We're a bit over it. Yeah. I was like, fucking hell. It took me a while. Solo parenting. You've been working your ass off as a solo parent the last three kids. How do you do it? I mean, you know, do I call myself a hero?

Do I call myself a hero? Yeah, go on. Is that a question or are you just saying? I think it's partly offensive, but it's also partly lovely. The fact that other parents, the mums I'm talking about, are like, do you need any help? I asked. No, I mean, more so like. What about me?

No, you're like, that was very kind. kind of you, thank you. But other parents are like, do you need us to take a child? Yes. But I'm like, no, I can, I'm fine. I can look after them myself. And they're like, you sure? You okay? Do you need anything? And I'm like, I'm capable. Do I look like I need something? Why do you keep asking? I mean, it's lovely to be asked. But at the same time, I'm like, it's a bit rude.

I've got this. Yeah, it's a bit like presumptuous that you don't know what you're doing. And they're like, where's popy? And I'm like, I don't know. Straight to my back. So that's a backpack. No, but it has been great. I think one thing, and I'm going to say dads are pretty bad at this, we don't tandem parent enough. Excuse me.

Back on up a little bit. Well, I had a phone call with... Tandem. Do you mean just regular missionary parenting? Cut, well, okay, let's bring in Vic because Vic and I had a conversation on Saturday. So you guys are chatting without me. We had one phone call. You fuckers.

You were getting your tooth ripped out. Yeah, call me. Oh, whoa, which we'll get to shortly. But Vic was like, yeah, we know, moms know what's going to. going on because we're tandem parent. Okay. I'm still yet to understand what the word tandem means in the... I just keep picturing a tandem bike.

Yeah, kind of saying... Very European of you. Well, I asked how Matt was going with the solo parenting and he's like, oh, yeah, I'm going okay, but it's funny because like a lot of the moms have been asking me like, do you need help? Can you help in any way? Blah, blah, blah. And I said, well, it's probably because a lot of dads don't think to do tandem parenting,

whereas that night I was solo parenting. So I had put the call out to all my girlfriends and said, hey, I'm solo parenting does anyone want to tandem parent tonight so that we can have like an easy dinner the kids play it all wraps up in a nice little boat much faster i'm with you know what you're talking about it's like a it's like a group assignment for a group project yes and you all get together it's like a group date from the bachelor that's it yeah exactly and you guys would be very familiar with that i'm not that familiar were there roses handed out at the end of this yeah you bring roses and then like one by one the kids get kicked out of the group and

just kick them all out immediately yeah i'll be like no kids get out well i don't think dads do that that often usually it's like, hey, why don't we get together and let these kids wear each other out. Is that what I'm... That's it.

You got it. I got it? I can go. I can go now? Great. All right, guys. I don't reckon dad's tandem parent.

Unless it's at the pub. Unless it's at the pub. That's a classic, yeah. I mean, well, somewhere that there's a playground. That's it. Yeah,

exactly. Yeah. Like my tandem parent person is my sister because she's a really good parent as well. So it's like the group assignment. You've got to go with a smart kid. You do. I would say punch up.

Yeah, Yeah. Punch up for sure. If you've got a friend who's a really good parent, just see what they're doing. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. That's pretty much parenting.

Not to make it sound like I'm a bad parent, but my snacks will go as far as like some sultanas, maybe an apple. Packeted. Yeah. The package food. Whereas my sister's there like putting out a four course meal with snacks. She's like, yeah.

She's a platter mom. She's a platter mom. She's a platter mom. She's good. And so then my kids are like, what do we got? Sultanas. Fuck that.

Look at Kate's. of like she takes the skin off the apple like she's going all out April's a platter mom like she'll be like oh here's some fruit and she's cut up like carrot fruit and stuff like that and something nice I'm like I would have never done that mainly well I like I would do it if it's easy and accessible but our friend's daughter Zieg every time we see her she's straight away to me come somebody to eat because she knows that April's got the good so I need to I need to do more tandem parenting that's on my my list of things to do for the of the year.

You should get like a, you know how when you see one of those A4 pieces of paper for guitar lessons and got a rip-off tab? Yeah. It's just like, looking for partners. Looking for tandem parent. It's got your phone number and a rip-off tab. You see it around the streets in Bondi. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But apart from that, it's going really well. The only thing that I will say that is fucking annoying when Laura's away is face-time calls. Oh, yeah. And time differences. It's just like never a good time with the kids because either they realize they remember that mum's gone and there's when you hang up they're like we miss her and you're like then you're dealing with the kids being upset so sometimes she calls and I'm like ignore yeah fair fair

fair what's I would honestly I would prefer if I'm away and I call I would prefer it to be ignored and here's why is Macy all of a sudden just does not talk she just screams at the phone and it's like hey I haven't seen you in two days that that she's looking at herself oh yeah because they do the filters yeah so Laura's there Laura's there is like, I miss you so much. And fucking Lola's being an octopus on the filter. And Laura's like, hello? When I'm away, Dan never lets me FaceTime either.

And he says it's because the kids won't understand and then it's more work for him in the end. It's inconvenient. There is no way I'm allowing a FaceTime call before bedtime. And Laura's like, I want to say good night. And it's like, no, because then it's just, I'm then dealt with the mess afterwards. Yeah. So, okay, here's a question. Go on.

For both of you. Please. And for the listeners. Please. If your partner is away, what is the ideal time for a FaceTime? If it's a mandatory in the family. I would say breakfast.

Brecky's good. Yeah, I'd say Brecky. Because then they've got some activity that they can then, after the calls, then go into eating. A quick distract. Yeah, that or a lunch. Lunch is lunch.

Lunch is right, depending on time zone, because you've got to remember if, like, say, what's the difference there? Where is she India? She's in India. You're asking the wrong guy. I think Laura right now, It is currently 12.45.

I think she's just waking up. It's 8 a.m in India right now. We should face time her. Hey! Get up. As an octopus filter? Lola, is that you? She's got food poisoning from India.

She's like, what? No! So, yeah, apart from that, what are we now? By the time this comes out, Laura, we'll be back. Is she back that quick? Oh, did that just go quick? How dare you? 11 days.

11 days. 11 days. Well, I would say I did the opposite of solo parenting. We had a party for Oscar's birthday. So happy birthday to young Oscar. He's really coming along. What's it now? Seven.

Same as Marley. And Marley's is next week. Just as friendly reminder and so is Vicks. Actually, this will come out after Vig's birthday. So happy birthday, Vic. You don't look a day over whatever today is. 42. Wow.

You look a day over 41. You look great, Vic. Feeling old. What are you doing? Do you like do needling? What are you? She's not a heroin out. What do I do?

Under a breach, do needling? I do the occasional Botox. Do you? Yeah. Yeah, I don't just don't have any facial expecting. April's like, I'm sad. I'm like, can't tell. No, don't.

Take that out. Take it out immediately. No, leave it. Sure. Because this is recorded before your birthday. Do you have anything planned for your birthday? I do. You do?

Oh, can you tell us? Having a girls night, actually. Oh, my back. Yeah. That's pretty nice. I know Dan's like, I'll see where your priorities are. Tandum drinking. Well, actually, after our conversation with Dr. Zach and about friendship and you've got to work on your friendships and it's good for your mental health, I was like, this is a really good excuse to bring a whole bunch of girls together because we get busy, life gets busy and...

No kids. No kids, no. And I reckon it's a good excuse for people to be like, oh, like, I've got to go to this because it's her birthday. And then the partner can't like... Yeah, that's like, you can't argue with that. You can't argue with that. Whereas if there's no reason for meeting up other than the fact that you want to catch up, there's really easy to pull out. to find excuses.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, especially on the day, you're like, I said yes to this, like so long ago. And then it's the day, you're like, I love them so much. But also, that's what they own. And as a winter baby, no one ever really wants to go out in winter I find. So I just use it as an excuse to happen. Which is also a good thing because you can do like a nice sunny winter arbo, which is I would say one of my favorite times of year.

Who are you? What? I'm drunk. No. I'm not drunk. No. Absolutely not. No, no. 190 days over, thank you.

Something like that. I've lost count, you know, because I'm so good at it. But let's hear about Oscar. April posted a video of you making a fucking birthday cake. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Dad of the year. I didn't know I could do that.

I'll be honest with you. She's like, hey, can you help ice this cake? And I was like, well, I can try. I've never done it either. I don't know how to do this. You were making like a soccer. Like it was green like meant to be grass. And then there was some soccer people on top.

I've got a finished product, which I'll show you. I've got a lot of respect for people who do themed birthday cakes because I think the R-O-I on that. So you respect me. I'll always have. Thank you. More so now. I'll take it.

You're putting a high up the pedestal. Thank you. Because the R-O-I on a themed birthday cake, it's minimal. The kids don't give a fuck. You get a couple of comments. And mainly, April was chuffed. Because? All the comments that she got from the other mum.

Yeah, she was like, oh, it's a cated event? I was like, no. I saw footage of you tied up. on the couch the snack one stuff oh yeah you guys were making you had like the kids were hard at work this is what's really really concerned you know okay as we all know i am not drinking anymore so what am i doing snacking snacking okay and silly april got all of the lolly bag stuff delivered the day before oh god how much did you eat well this is the thing we said okay i'm aware of that it's in the house.

I know that it's here. I know that it's here. And April said, look, don't touch any of it. I will be very upset. And it was a proper, like, warning. Okay. Like a serious. It was serious.

It wasn't like, oh, you silly boy, because I'm a silly boy. I will fucking divorce you. Yeah. If you touch it. You're going to fuck up your seven year old's birthday. Yes. That was the vibe. Not, you're just a silly boy.

But what happened? And I quite often go for you, just a silly boy. We know. Thank you. So. I was like, okay, sweet. I've got stuff I can snack on. But once I went through that stuff,

how long did that take? I walked into the bedroom at like 8.30 at night. And I said to April, I'm like, you're not going to like this conversation. And neither am I. And she was like, I'm like, let's just put all the riffraff aside. Let's put all the hoo-ha aside, if you will.

And I will buy another pack tomorrow. Oh my God. And she goes, I'm sad. You've made me sad. I said, I haven't taken anything yet. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Ease up. No sex tonight.

I haven't, it was way past that. Okay. I was like, all right. The negotiation started. What am I allowed to have from these bags? There was so much shit there. Like what? There was a bag of twirls I had my eye on.

Love at 12. You're like, kids don't like twirls. Nice pair of like a cat I was really trying to get this And I was like okay, what about this? Bag of twirls, half a packet of Lamington's. And she was like, no, the Lamington is for the adults. I was like, well, they're not going to miss them.

Anyway, I ended up settling on a bag of twirls. And I ate the whole fucking thing. And I enjoyed it. I'm not ashamed of it. Where did you eat them in the living room? With my mouth, thank God. You didn't like eat them next to April. No.

Because every Russell, you'd be like, you fucking bust. No, it's in the other room. Yeah, you can't eat in front of it. To my credit, first thing I did before getting a tooth ripped out was buy a packet of 12th. Good boy. I bought two because I wanted a packet myself for that. So was the party successful? I will collate all the information I have and update you in the Wednesdays at.

Great. Along with the tooth situation. Yeah, great. Yes. Because as you can see, my face is swollen. I know. someone actually made a comment in the Facebook group because you were like, hey, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, getting my tooth ripped out, dot, dot, dot, we'll talk about it later.

And people are like, this guy coming in here, just edging us. Yeah, he's like, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, I'll be back. Just a really quick update on Pram parking at shopping centers. I have noticed this too. We had a debate, which almost ended the podcast. Bit of embellishment for that story. I know, a bit of drama. I just need to drama.

And the question. was there's a sign of a person with a pram do you need to physically have a pram yeah because there's a few variations here like there's a pram but also the trolley has we like a pram built in so if like why would you have if you need a trolley and a print you can't have both well I I luckily I almost went to the shops with a baby carrier and I was like well maybe that wouldn't allow me but then I saw the updated sign I don't know if you've seen this ash let me just give you a quick little look here at what the sign now looks like

Yes. They've been, they've specified it. They've heard us. They've been listening to the podcast. Are we taking credit? So this is the updated sign. I don't know if this is just my local area, but this is what we're now faced with at shopping centers. It is a sign red. They've like, they used to be blue. That's fresh that sign.

And that, Vic. And it's red now to be like, very aggressive. Very, in capitals, parents with pram in addition to the picture of someone pushing a pram. I think it needed to be, look, It's that old thing is you can lead a horse to water. And I have witnessed it many times people parking in there with not even a child. And if not, grandparent age, not aiming at a certain generation or specific person. Bermas.

Sorry. Love the boomers. We love the boomers so much. But like I think that's, I mean, that puts it to bed, right? puts it to bed. But I'm still going to stop there with Macy. Can I also just say, nothing more stressful than when I came back to the car, I just have arrived.

I've got three kids by myself. What a dad. What a guy. Thank you. Thank you. And I've also like bought half a fucking Kmart. And then I'm trying to. Like, Jesus.

Photo frames. Get to it. I've noticed. I've got 54 photo frames behind me. I know. And then as soon as they get to the car, someone pulls up and they're like, are you leaving? And I'm like, yeah.

But then you're trying to be polite, get the kids in the car. And you're like, come I get in there. What are you going? Come back in there. Try to unload the car. kind of chop poppy trying to put her and she's like like trying to wedge oh yeah we're trying to put a cat in a box or something it's like yeah and i'm kind of like just push her like pressure just oh you're banging head on the thing like and then i'm like looking over me like oh don't even i don't even engage with people

they pull up behind me i slow right down and pretend they're not even there i say i'm moving but i'm going i'm sorry i'm sorry yeah miss mount up i'm going as far second we're just like why you're whispering i'm going to say that's again Like, why are you, why are you whispering? Yeah, it's so stupid, so stupid. But whilst I was in Kmart, I noticed that there is change happening. And there's an announcement, I'm not sure if you saw recently that Kmart put the checkouts in the middle of the store. Yes.

Which people were outraged. I get alive. But now, I mean, I was one of those people who was, it didn't make any sense. Yeah, but did you take the time to voice your anger on it? No. That's why. I'm totally okay with people being like, this is stupid. And it's stupid.

This is stupid. Stupid. It's all stupid. The whole fucking system is stupid. Well, Kmart's been listening. They're going to move the checkouts now. Back to the exit. Yeah, I don't have a problem with that either.

But my gripe with people is do something more productive with your life. If you've got enough time to be part of the. Yeah, but if they've got enough time to be part of the backlash, it's like, okay, well, how minimal, how much lack. lack of interest do you have in your own life? Can I defend them and say, I'm glad they've done it? Yeah, fine. Yeah, fine, but I'm just asking the question. I'm just asking the question.

Like, what, do something productive with your time. Get a fucking job. But it's those little tiny microaggressions that, like, disturb your day that happen every single day over and over and over and over, that make you go from a good mood to a bad mood. Yeah, but I don't. Oh, it came up four times this weekend. But I don't, it doesn't impact. Have they actually changed it so far?

No, they're in the process of. But how much does it affect? affect you really. I couldn't sleep. Oh, God. It's annoying with kids. Do you know what they could do? Put it at the fucking back of the shop.

Do that. Shake it up a bit. I reckon if you're going to really do it, do it properly. Really fuck with people. Like, don't just half do it and then get a bunch of back. Call it back. How dare you. People shoplift.

Well, they're going to shoplift anyway. I worked at Kmart. Same. Big surprise. Worrywood? No, tweet heads. Can I ask, is there a policy when anyone asks you a question while you're working at Kmart that you just look at them like they've got shit on their face.

Did you have shit on your face? I think I did. I was like, excuse me, I'm just trying to find the photo frames. Where's the shit on your face? I can't say it. And not to attack the workers of Kama, but they're not very helpful. No, they don't really know or anything is. But would you know where everything is?

There's shit everywhere. Probably no more than the staff, to be honest. Yeah, I do. Because the thing is with our Worrywood Kmart is it's a perfect loop. So like you go, you go. Like it's a velodrome? Sorry. Yeah, kind of.

You go straight, you go. That was a shit joke. You go straight into kitchen wares. I'm just bypassing it. It was really good joke. Hang on, let's just all stop and laugh.

Okay. So you walk in. I needed that. You walk in, turn it hard right. And it goes kitchenware. Yeah. Kitchen.

Then you move into like homewares. Oh, but via storage, which is great. And then. And you fucking happen to go my Belladron joke. No,

bang on. And you're like, let me give, no, I'm getting there. Let me give the list. news, a step-by-step guide of Warwick Wood Pamer.

They want to visualize. No one wants it. This is all not making the cup. And then you go into electronics. What the fuck? And then you go through clothing and finish on the toys. I think it's perfect. And then check out. I think that's good gear.

Okay, moving on. Trust me, listeners are like, fuck, Ash knows what's up. He knows what's happening. They won't. I'm out here living at every man, everyday life. You might have seen, you, the listener, I'm talking to you,

you might have seen that we put a little video up about sick animals and donating for sick animals at Taronga Zoo. Well, something fascinating and exciting news, Matt. We're kind of the official, unofficial, official. We are official. Is it official? I signed a contract, didn't you?

I signed the contract. We are Taronga Zoo Friends Ambassadors. So we are going to try and weasel some discounts? I think we are. I think we are going to get some free passes. Ah. We are. Because we are selfless.

us, Matt. If there's any opportunity to give back to the listener, that is what we like to do. They said, what's it going to take? We said we will only do it if you give us free passes for the listeners. So how does that make you feel out there? Leave a comment now. Where? On Facebook. Okay. So we'll keep you updated on that. But hopefully there's some fun things coming up with the zoo that we can get everyone involved in. Love it. Well, I'm actually a zoo friend. You've been a zoo friend for years, though. Yeah, we find it's cheaper.

So if you go to the zoo like twice a year, it pays for itself. Really? Can I ask, Vic, you have... It's very affordable. I would call this a hack. What's your approach to zoo trips? Yeah, I'm interested. Yeah, so you have to be a zoo friend to do this.

But basically, we only ever go to the zoo for two hour blocks. What happens if you don't get to see the animal that you want to? Do you tell the kids that you have to pick one animal to see? Or how does that work? I ask them, what's the animal they really want to see? Seal. Seal. And I preface it that we won't have time to see all of the animals.

animals, but we will see the one you really want to see, and then we'll see all the ones around that. So I give them a really big pre-warning that we're not going to see the whole zoo today, but we are going to see the ones you want to see today. Because, you know, kids have certain moods. Sometimes they want to see the lions. You know what? I'm always, I'm guilty of like, we must see every fucking animal in this April.

Like, every, from the penguins to the eagles, to the lions, to the tigers, to the drafts, every animal possible. It's too much. You wear yourself out. And the kids get worn out. Like I see so many kids having tantrums and parents looking exhausted. Like two hours is such a nice window. It's like they're still excited.

They're still pumped. And you still get to see the animals you want to see. And then the ones they didn't get to see, we're like, so we're going to go see it next time. So you're saying it's a good thing to be a zoo friend because you can go back. You can separate the zoo into certain. Yeah. Because there's somewhat four, like there's 12 weeks of school holidays over a whole year, give or take. So you could separate that.

I'd be like, we're going to see the zoo this year. We went last time and... Oh, whoa, wow. I just fucking... Sorry, I just realized. Go? Fuck! I was so close to remembering it as well.

The kids have gymnastics and they have this little fucking form that they, it's like a little map. Every time they go to a class, they stamp the map. And I forget it every week. And every one pick the kids up, they're like, you forgot the map. You forgot it again. And I forgot the map this morning. Fuck! Sorry.

Can we print it? Sorry. No. Carry on. Sorry. I thought it was going to be zoo related. Sorry. I'm so annoying.

I apologize. No, no, no. I like how you set the expectation early with them. You got to. With everything you've got to do with me. Yeah, and I'd be like, I feel like sometimes it's like, you do it blindly. You're like, oh, he's going to see a couple animals. And then all of a sudden you fucking get having a meltdown because they want to see everything.

Yeah, but I mean, Lily's only got little legs. Like, she will not last the distance. Louis gets bored after a while. Like I think once the excitement starts to wear off, we have a snack and then we start to get out of there. My kids can walk 100 metres and they're like, carry me. And I'm like, Mara, you're seven and she's like, help, my knees hurt. You got them young legs. Yeah, I'm fucking, I need to build some resilience in your kids.

So what did you see? Where did you go? Give us the route. So this time, I think because we had watched your video on Instagram, he's really into routes today. He's really into routes. My video. The 2D1 about the zoo. But we saved the animals.

Oh, yes. The honey, yellow. Yellow belly sugar glider. Do you see that? Yes, that's the one I'm talking about. No, I meant did you see that animal? Something about the studio is putting us all off. Not me, I'm perfect.

Is it the paint fumes? What's going on? I think it's you guys. Go, carry out. Louis really wanted to see the seal and I was like, oh, you know what? We've never been to the seal show. So let's try for the seal show.

They've got a new one. Next minute, it's so fucking hard getting them out of the house. Like shoes are a chore, just walking through the door as a chore. Anyway, we got there and they're like, the seal show is starting now, so we bolted straight down there, and we got there just as like, just reach capacity.

They wouldn't let you in? Just reached capacity. It had started and, yeah. Do you want us to have a word to them? Oh no, I was like, don't you know who I am? I work with Maddie J and Ash. Yeah. But we're down that area,

because it's right down the bottom. So we started at the seals, then we did the penguins, and then it like twists around, you see the pelicans. And because it was right on that time, it's feeding time. So this is the other hack. Skip the seal show, go straight to the seals.

You can watch them get fed. Then we went to the pelicans, watched the pelican get fed. Then we watched the giraffes and the chimpanzees get fed. You're into the feeding to her. You're like into the feeding. Yeah. Because that's a king. Actually, that's a fucking good hack as well.

Because when they're eating, shit's happening. Exactly. It's activity. Yeah, they're not just like lying around doing nothing. Where are you getting your hacks from? Who's telling you this stuff? This was a fluke. So you've created this hack?

You should have been an ambassador, not us. I know. And also, because we went straight to the bottom and worked our way back, you missed the crowd. So every time we got somewhere, we didn't have to be like looking over people. But it's uphill, so your legs are hurt. But you've got to go uphill anyway. At least, yeah. And there's no, they're doing a new Skytrain or whatever.

Remember they had to get, they've decommissioned the current one. I reckon the animals at the bottom are suffering now because there's no. People, I'm not walking all the way down because, now I've got to walk all they about, but you're like, the start at bottom. What animals down there, though? The seals and the penguins. The cellar dwellers. They're, they're coping it right now.

Yeah, they're, look, they're... Although the pelicans, they're scary. I'm scared of the pelicans. I thought the pelican was going to eat little. Right? Have you ever been shot on by a pelican? Go on? I haven't, personally, but a friend of mine did an English guy who didn't really realize.

So Narrabeen Bridge, Northern Beach, is renowned for being shadowed. People have been shat on by pelicans, because the footpath walks directly under the big lights. And they love it up there. They love it up there because the bridge itself is a big hot fisherman spot too. So they're just stalking their prey while shitting on people walking apart. So a friend of mine who's, he's not a big guy anyway.

And I picked him up and I was like, what happened to you? Someone's come on you. Yeah. It was like, it was like, it was covered. And I was like, what happened? He was like got shot on by a pelican. I'm like, do you not get in my car, bro? That's good luck.

Get back on the bus and fucking back off to England somewhere. Is it good luck? Anyway, look, yeah, big shits. Hey, really quickly, last week we told a story of how I had date night with Lola, went to the RSL, going smoothly, then it all went pear shake because I had to try and get it out of the playground at the RSS. You're afraid to leave. And the only way I could get her to come with me is by dangling the keys and me saying,

well, I'm going to leave you here. Someone has written in. And I won't say their name just because I'm not sure if they want this to be anonymous or not. But they said, would you have got? on through with the threat. That's a good question. Yeah. El brave are you, son?

Yes. Have you ever seen the live of them? Well, then she goes on to say, I did. No. Our family went for dinner. I was driver of a drunk mom, dad and husband and four kids. Oh, that sucks. The kids were drunk?

That's your first problem. I gave the kids a five minute warning, a four, a three, a two. and then a one minute and went to the car. Fair. And I loaded the double pram and my second still wouldn't come. I got in the car and I started it. Nope. Still didn't come.

But also, to be fair, like, how's the kid can't hear the car? Can they? Yeah, I used to do that. Actually, I started doing it again. As soon as I turn the car and they're like, Ah, don't let me! Really? My kids aren't.

My kids have attachment issues. Like, they won't go anywhere around. See you. No, no. Mine are like, don't like, don't like, don't like. don't leave the room. I won't survive without you. So they're like, I'm like, I'm leaving you here.

They're like, no! My kids fucking don't care. Well, she goes, I drove down the driveway. Oh, my, she's sorry. She's at home. I thought she was the RSL. Forgive me. So they would be out of here.

The car, yeah. Yeah. So I got in the car, I started it. Nope, still didn't come. I drove down the driveway. Nope, still didn't come. At the corner, my husband, mom and dad furiously got out of the car and went back for him. He still hadn't budged.

I drove home with three kids. They got a taxi. So wait, they were at the RSL. Well, hang on a second. I'm confused with this whole story. Actually, they could be at home drunk. I'm so confused. Anyway, so she's left.

I also have the one about, can someone please explain Medi's relationship plain analogy to me? I even tried going back and listing twice, but I'm totally lost. That was a good, hang on. Let me just finish. What are we talking about?

That's into my message. Okay, so. Let's move on. No, I think, okay, hangar. Let me just dissect this here. She left the kids. She left a kid with someone else. Maybe we could give her a call one day.

What's your relation to the kids? Yeah, who are you? She is just like, oh, it was a family I kidnapped. Hang on, she says, my soon-to-be 20-year-old son has never not come home when I asked again. So she left the 20-year-old there. I'd be like, thank you. Maybe it was her mom. Her mom was with the dad.

I'm so confused. Vic loves this story. I know. She's like, oh. I hate it. Vic, leave it in. Look, if you're listening, you're like, what the fuck did I just listen to?

We'll get some clarity on that. But let's go back to the plane thing. My plane analogy was fucking good. Can we replay the plane analogy really quick? Can I give you an analogy? Yeah. Okay. I feel like kids are on this plane,

which is the family, right? Okay. Okay, you're with me? Kids are on this plane, which is being piloted by mom and dad. Okay. And the relationship is the engine that keeps his plane flying.

You lost me. Can I... Didn't you give it to us? Okay, so parenting... Did you make this up? Yeah. Remember Laura was like, that's so good, Matt. Oh, don't...

She never listens to me. She's like, I'm like, Laura, listen to this. And she's like, that's great. You're so clever. And I'm like, wait to the guys hear about this on the podcast. I know. We're talking about Laura,

who said that me talking about alcohol being my best friend is the most profound thing I've ever said. So don't take those compliments. Like... Oh, let's not like... That was a good. good episode. You should listen to it.

No, my analogy was that kids are on fuck, I should have practiced it before I started recording. You guys have put me on the spot. I wasn't ready. Parenting, kids are on the plane of parenting and the engine is the relationship between the parents. Okay, so they're

the passengers on the plane. That's parenting as a whole, but the relationship that drives the engines of the plane don't make me repeat myself. Don't look at me like that. No, I was really trying to. I was trying.

You're like the boss who's taking his kid. You talked about Kmart. Hang on a sec. Whoa, let me get this out. You're like the boss who you've taken your employees on a team building retreat on a boat. It's like an office episode. Yeah.

Where it's like on a boat and you're like, I'm the captain because I'm the boss. And you guys are on the boat. You're like, my deck hands. You're trying to make this analogy out of something that could be so much easier. It's a good analogy. Is it? I don't know. I can't even really remember the ending of it.

What's the end of the story? You've got to prioritize the relationship to make the engine fly, to make the plane fly. And how did you come up with this one? Chat, jibati. If you guys want to throw on your analogies, I'm also open to be hearing those suggestions. What's parenting like? Parenting's like having a bunch of drunks. It's like owning a bunch of drunks.

I use that a long time. I know. That's old. Okay, we'll both come up with analogies for the next housekeeping episode and we'll lay them on you. How about that? And then I'll sit here. And be like, what the fuck is, what do you fucking mean? For those of you.

Are we having an analogy of? For those of you at home, you would have just heard me shake both these people's hands. Also, I want the Dota's to write in and give us their parenting analogies in the Facebook group, which you'll have to join. That's why we bay her. It's not just about us. Hey, it's time for this. Now you need us more than ever. Know that we still have each other

You can stand us your doting dilemma You can send us your doting dilemma Ella, Ella, Ella, Ella Eddell. Great song. Great song. One of the best I reckon. If you remember we had an episode

where we had like four songs It was just like an episode of song. It was just like one big song. Jingle. Jingle episode. It was a jingle episode. We should do that at the end of the year. What are we got?

Do you want to read this one? No, you read it. I'm so bad at reading. Fuck sometimes. Now that Marley can read, if I make a mistake when I'm reading her a bedtime story, she's like, it was your, you got your wrong. I don't have time for that. She corrects me.

I don't have time for being corrected by my children. I just tell him to shut up. I was just like, that's a compound sentence. What a shut up and go to sleep. That's a compound sentence. Well, I used to also get paid to read the news, so I do know how to read. Would you like me to read it? Oh, we're going to rub it in.

Wow. You did say he was sensitive today, and that's the sort of comment we do not need. How dare you do. You're skating a thin ice. I'm sorry. I was actually just trying to say take something off your mental load. Sure.

Okay, this is from Aaron. Can I say a name? Should I say a name? No, she said it's fun. Okay. This is from Aaron. Hi, Aaron. Hello, Aaron.

Regular spelling? Just E-R-I-N. Classic. I would actually, do you know what? I'd be interested to know people's middle names. Yeah, if you're writing in now, middle name, we're not reading anything out unless your middle names are there.

Facts. She says, hey, guys, not sure if you've already spoken about this type of situation, but I really want an honest opinion and your male perspective on how to navigate. My partner is an amazing dad. He's very supportive and caring to me and the boys. For reference, they're one and two years old. However, every weekend he is locked into the footy.

He will watch every single AFL game. He is in three fantasy leagues and footy group chats and then also has Malties going for every game. So basically from Friday night kickoff to Sunday when the best. bounce starts, he is glued to the TV and his phone. I know it's not normal and I get annoyed because it's my weekend too and I feel like I'm the only one who is actively parenting. Is there a better approach I can come at this with? Surely he's hung the boots up. It's time for him to move on and prioritize us instead of who may win the Brownlow. Right? First of all,

my first thought here is classic AFL fan. I mean, that's the first problem. Yeah, that's your fucking first problem right there. Who is watching? Shut To the Lions, Prison of the Lions, who won the Premiership last year. Just. Well, she's Victorian-based. So just to jump to his defence before I give my opinion. Please. I don't think he has to hang the boots up and move on with his life.

I agree. They can coexist. Right. But watching every game is a bit much. Well, we have spoken about how beneficial sport can be as a hobby, especially for dads. Yeah, but is that more of like getting out and about and doing it, not actually just watching it at home on the couch? Well, if he's got three WhatsApp chats, is that what I said?

Fantasy leagues. Fantasy leagues. I mean, there is a level of communication that I'm sure he's enjoying with his football. But I think with anything, there's a line where it becomes too much. This is where I think. The group chat's an issue for me. Don't have a problem with that because you're going to be group chatting with people and communication is great.

Okay. However you do that, it's fine. I think maybe you can watch a couple of those games on a replay when the kids go to bed. There he is. I think that's fair. approaching the situation. Although if he's in the group chat, that's hard because all the group chat will be happening

as the game is going. So I guess he'll feel on the outer, right, if he's watching them on replays after the fact. Are we saying that everyone in that group chat, though, is watching every single game, or is that people just, all that whole group doesn't have a life? Well, I'm guessing they're all, hey, we don't know,

but I'm guessing that they're all going to be in the same fantasy leagues. I think with everything, there's got to be some balance. But I think a question is, how do we approach it? I think at some point on the weekends, there needs to be time dedicated to the kids.

And there also needs to be time dedicated for mum to do what she wants to be doing. You know, if he is enjoying his hobbies to the point where it puts all the responsibility of parenting onto the mom for the entire weekend from Friday to Sunday, that's so fucking unfair. Yeah.

With us, for example, if Manley's playing, he's watching Manley play because that's the only... That's the important one. Exactly right. Unless it's like origin or something which happens to be on Wednesday night at 8 o'clock, which just shouldn't be an issue unless it's like that's your specific date. And I don't know what your circumstances are. But I think if it's your team and then you've had the conversations like, babe, my team's playing it's fine as long as it's not something serious happening that same day. But every game, first of all, how do you sit there for that long or through every game?

Who's got that kind of attention span? How unfit are you that you can sit there all day? Because let's assume that he's working Monday to Friday, right? It gets to the weekend. There needs to be some time for him to spend time with the kids and focus on that relationship. And if he's like, nah, fuck off, Billy.

I'm watching AFL. The people who that are sacrificing is the wife and the kids, they're taking the brunt. Yeah, I think, like, most of the time these games are on in the afternoon. I would say, no, I don't want to AFL. She's saying from Friday night until Sunday evening,

he's watching every single game and he's on the fantasy football. So he's on the WhatsApp groups. I just think personally as a mother and as a partner, that's so unfair. Like if I watched that much rom-coms or that much TV, it would not be allowed at all. Oh, for sure. Yeah, imagine if mum was like, oh, I haven't cooked dinner because I'm watching How to Lose a Man in 10 days again. It's live.

It's because it's very easy to say from 5 o'clock, but there's no games on. There's no games on until 3 o'clock on a Saturday afternoon. There's no games on to 3 o'clock on a Sunday afternoon. So if you're saying... It doesn't matter. You can't... No, for sure. I'm not...

No, no, no. I'm just... I'm trying to understand here. What's happening in the morning? Is he just doing his fantasy thing all morning? Putting his tips in. If that's the case, then it's like, all right, well, it is taking up your whole weekend. But I'm reluctant to be like, I don't want to completely shit on him because it might be the case

that it's in the Arvos and it might be a simple conversation where you're like, hey, babe, if there's no footy on in the morning, can you focus on ours? and I don't know if that's what's happening. I don't know. I actually go through this with Dan every weekend. And I feel like there's more games that kind of keep slipping in a little bit. Shout out to Dan. Studio looks great, Dan.

Okay, get ready to take Dan side. No, I'm just joking. Just kidding. I would never. But, like, he loves sport and he loves NRL. He loves rugby union. He loves whatever's on. We've got the World Cup on now.

Like, fuck sake. Sorry. But I had to say to him, you're allowed one game per day. Like, I understand for his mental. health, it's a relaxing thing, it's fine, but there's back-to-back games. Like, some days there's like three NRL games. Super Saturday. Yeah. And so I'm like, well, I couldn't sit there and watch a rom-com for two hours. So why do you get to sit there and like chime out? Yes, sometimes it is in the background. Okay. But if this guy's on his phone and watching,

you got two under two. There's no time. I think as, yeah, as we don't know the full details, but I think it's important to make sure that whatever time you were dedicating to your hobbies, that mom gets the same opportunity with equal amounts of time but herself. 100%. But I also think both parties shouldn't be made to feel bad about doing their hobbies. No. But if it crosses over and it's not. And then feel bad.

A hobby and an obsession is very different. But I think what's your rule, Vic, in your household now with Dan? What's your allowed to? One game a day? Yeah, he's allowed one game a day. So if I come home and I see there's an NRL game on that I know he doesn't care about those teams. I'm like turn it off. Like with St. George.

Like I'm like, choose the game you want to watch and that's the game you can watch. That's totally fine. What about- Any more than that and it's taking the piss. For me now, Oscar's like, I want to watch the game. That's fine. That's family time then. Because Oscar's going to have to watch every single game. I couldn't do it.

I couldn't sit there that long. Daddy, I'm tired. Shut up and keep watching. I'm a big fan of like if we're doing stuff around the house and we're whatever and it's cricket season and the cricket's on in the background, whatever. I just walk past every now and said, it's very different. But I think Laura made a good point where I kind of just assumed that because I've got girls, they weren't going to like watching football.

And Laura was like, try and include Marlene and Lola, share your passion with the kids. And it's been great. Sometimes they like don't have any interest at all. But there's times where I can explain the rules as basic as I can and it's hard for them to really understand. But, you know, we would cheer together and I would say like, hey, that's a try. We've got to cheer. And they fucking loved it.

They loved being included. And taking them to the game is amazing. I know you're really good, Ash, at going to mainly games, and you include the family and the kids with your passion. And I think if you can cross it over and it can blend, that's a beautiful thing. That's a great idea.

They just want the attention. They just want your attention. And they want to know that they're part of the family and feeling loved. Yeah, I think, like, I want to combine two things. The first one is, I think, yeah, you've said one live game, because you can always watch them on replay later. But if April said to me, hey, and she has done actually before, she's like, what day's Manly playing this week? She has said that to preempt that I'm definitely want to watch that game.

I'll miss it for something in particular. Like, if she's like, hey, I wanted to go out to dinner with you on Saturday and I know Manley's playing, how about we go out for dinner and come back and you can watch it on. And at that case, I'd turn all my notifications off so I'm not getting those group chats. I think that's fair. Also, as well, I think really important, don't spring it on him. If you haven't discussed the date night on Saturday and it's Saturday and you said, hey, how about we go on a date night?

And he was really looking forward to watch that game. You're just going to set a bad tone. But if you're like during the week, like, hey, I know you're going to watch some football on the weekend and what you really want to watch this game. Okay, great. What about on the Friday night we go out for dinner together? Or what about on that Saturday afternoon? We take the kids to the park.

We're going to meet some friends instead. And then you can watch the other games on replay. It's all about communication, right? If there is an important game on or something I really, really, really, really want to watch. But April's like, hey, what about a little date night tonight? I'll tell you right now. Throw the TV out the fucking.

The TV wouldn't exist anymore. So, I don't know. Like, that's just what works for us. Everyone's going to be different, I guess. But I also, I think, like, I know mates mine, we always take the piss about people who play golf after they have kids. It's made to mine who are like still playing golf, Saturday and Sundays, after having kids.

And I'm like, man, you can't keep living the life that you lived before kids after you have kids like you've got to want a two-year-old at some point you've got to sacrifice your passions and your hobbies and give that time to your family yeah so a friend of mine who really really into got and was like that was like golf Saturday Sunday he started his kid got to a point like like where he was like okay well instead of playing a game of golf on the Saturday or whatever he would go and hit the ball with his kid you know instead of playing a game of goal and then he was his ways around yeah yeah because then it would be like all right well we'll take the kid we're going to go, we're going to hit the ball for a few hours, but I have a tea time.

Tomorrow morning is that okay. I think there is. That's great. That's a balance, right? That's a great compromise. And then I'm going to go to the pub and you're not going to see me until Wednesday. Anyway, so, but like, I think men are so, and I don't want to shit on men or men here because they're not all the same. But we're so good at, and it's a bit toxic of you giving us an inch and we'll take a mile, right? So it's like, preach. Boom. Boom. And my mom always says it to me. She's always said, you've always been so good at that, but then you're aware that you're good at it too. So you might use it.

You might use it in the right context instead of being like, well, okay, I might not come home tonight for another three or four hour, which it's so easy to just do that. But like, same with your hobby. It's so easy to get caught up in. Oh, Mike's getting really good at this. I want to get really good at it too. And that's how my brain works. But I also try and my hobby is after hours.

It is April's already in bed. So if there's any date night or whatever that's happening, we've been and done it. I'm not getting on until 9, 9.9.30. No one's missing out on Ashtime. And all the dads in my group, because it is a group of, shout out to the slowbrose, it is a group of dads as a race league

after nine o'clock is our time. Yeah. Right? And I think that's a fair compromise. And like, even so, sometimes it'll be like, oh, I'm one of the guys like, I'm going to the movies with my wife

on our race league night. I'm like, oh, don't do that. But we're like, yeah, well, fair. Like, that's completely fair because it shouldn't be the priority of your life. Yeah. It's a hobby, not an obsession. Very good.

Nailed it. Thank you. I'm waiting for them to come. at me now. It's like, what happened a real man? What happened a real man? That'll be the comment on there. You're fucking hearing one talk. Yeah, I'm right here. Yes. And it's like Dr. Zach said,

if they're doing that much of it, sometimes it's a bit of avoidance because they're not feeling confident in the area of parenting. So they might be seeing that as an outlet to be like, oh, well, I can't because I've got this game and then this game and then it's a knock on effect. Yeah, if you're not feeling confident about an aspect of parenting,

educate yourself and give it a fucking go. Can I just say, after And again, not to sound like a hero here, guys. Okay, I don't want to do that. It's not who I am. It's not what my approach is. But I used to fucking dread putting Poppy down because it was really tricky. And I just wasn't match fit.

Pardon the pun. As per previous conversation about match games and matches. Okay, with you. But I've turned a corner with Poppy. And I've like, I'm so in tune with the routine now. And I've gotten so much better at it now compared to how I was four or five weeks ago. And obviously, like, she's getting a little bit older and she's sleeping better. But parenting gets better and it gets easier.

The more you do it and the more you're ensuing with your kids' behavior and how they react to things. Where everyone always pipes on about what you put in is what you get out. And parenting is a perfect judge of that. Absolutely. Because if you're like, if you're... Analogy. Analogy. If you're avoiding, just say, I'm watching sport because I'm not good at imaginative play with my kids, especially Macy, for example.

Like for a girl and as a guy who never got that as a child It's really hard and awkward up here But the more you do it The better you get The better you get And you know what she likes And then also as well she'll be like One day you'll be playing shops with her

And one day you'll be at the shop And she'll be like you know it's like how we do it at home And boom you'll go that was worth it That makes you want to cry Thank you me too I make me want to cry all time It's usually non-verbal though All right well on that note

Let's fucking get out of here. Let's get out of here. Episode one in the new studio. Was it great? We'll find out. We did cut out at one point, but we're back. I love it. If you've enjoyed this episode, please, we would love it.

A couple of comments. A couple? He was like, just give us one. We're so close to a thousand. A thousand reviews on Apple Podcast. There's only so many fake accounts I can have. And follow us on social media at... Two-doting Dad's Instagram.

The Facebook group is flaring. TikTok, YouTube. And you can email us at hello at tutoredandad.com. So any, so any, my God. I just wait. No, I'm trying to wrap him up with the wrapper. See what I did there? These conditions.

So any doda dilemmas, especially please send him in. You can stay anonymous. And we'll see you guys on Wednesday where we'll go into detail, inch by inch of Ash's tooth extraction, my time with the kids with Laura away in India. And Oscar's birthday party. And we'll see you guys then.

See you guys next time. Bye. good sneakers. Bye. Two Doting Dad's podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respects to their elders, past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gatigal Land.