Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash - #255 How I Twisted My Testicle

Episode Date: August 25, 2026

This week Ash opens up about something he’s NEVER told anyone and it all stems from this week’s breaking news about testicular pain. It’s got to be heard to be believed! Meanwhile, Matt is getting an early start on the spring clean, trying to offload furniture he’s shocked no one wants to buy… or even take for free. He’s also in the trenches helping the girls with their homework, putting their public-speaking skills to the test. Plus Ash has a hack to give your glow-in-the-dark ooshies a glow-up and something Oscar does in his sleep makes him think he might actually be a good dad after all. And more parenting lies to keep in your back pocket for the week ahead. ______________________________________________________________________________ You can grab a copy of Ash's new book The Secret Ingredient here.  If you need a shoulder to cry on:  Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm very delirious at the moment. Why? Just tired. You tired, big guy? Very tired. Layed on me. Very delirious right now. Why? Why? Just, I think Sunday was a late one.

I keep forgetting things. It's just too much going on. This is the week of the busyness. And I just got to get to the end of this week and I'm there. But I'm like, I wake up the moment. And I like, didn't know what day it was. And I was like, where am I? Just frazzled.

And then I was like, what have we got on today? And then someone in the chat was like, you got netball, who's going to netball practice? And I was just like, oh. All the things. Who am I? What am I doing? I'm going to just tell people in advance, sorry for this episode. All right.

Two-dating dads, I am Maddie J. And I'm Ash. And this is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good. It is the bad. And the relatable. We don't give advice. We don't.

How were you? Good. I had blood tests this morning. That's why I'm running a bit behind. How does that work? work. What do you mean how's that work? They take blood out of my vein.

What? I know. They just take a little vial. I don't look. You don't know. That makes me feel sick if I look. She was very funny though, the lady. She was very good.

Just like, give me an example. What did she say? Just good chemistry. Because I don't like needles, even though I'm covering tattoos. I can't stand needles. So how did she break the ice? What did she do to make you feel more comfortable? She laughed at me first about me saying that.

She's like a big strong man and got tattoos, but you hate needles. And I thought that was funny. And then all of a sudden it's Ian. And I was like, it's in, don't you tell me? She's like, that's why I didn't tell you. Anyway, that sort of stuff. So she's obviously very good at her job. I've seen her there before because she did it last time.

Right. But she's one of those people that you can tell that she's like, I do this every day and I love doing it. Just another down the office. And I loved that. Handy little tips she had, you know, and she released the pressure of that thing and then put the cotton butt on. And then she put the tightener over that to keep the pressure on.

and why she went and did the labeling. No time wasted. When do you get results? Oh, I think a couple of days. We'll see. There was a lot of... I walked in and she was like, whoa! I'm like, yeah, I don't know what's wrong.

So you're checking just for everything. Yeah, something's not right around the place. So they just check in for like the full suite. I got the full suite. The full set? I went the platinum package. Yeah, nice. I think the one I'm really concerned about the most is the prostate.

Yes. Honestly, I feel like I need to pee right now, but I don't need to. Really? I said, I'll do the other day. I came out of the bathroom. I'm like, no one takes that long to pee. And she was like, if I'm honest, wasn't paying attention. I was like, how dare you?

I could be dying over here. I could be done. Next time, time me, okay? So wait, results will be coming before the next record? I hope so. If not, it'll be the one after. Okay, this is like present. I'm like, what do we get?

But it's also kind of scary. No, I should be fine. I should be fine. Like, I think I just want to make sure. It's safe. I think it's safer to make sure than to. There's a saying there I don't know what it is.

May I? Oh, here we go. It is better the devil you know. No, not into that? Is that? What about better to be safe than sorry? Oh yeah, that's probably. That's boring.

Do you mind? Give me something, give me something with a bit more zest. No, what? Okay, fine. Well, fuck you all. The one that you said the other day, you're better off. Yeah, that's good.

You said you better be looking at it than looking for it. I just think of the Kylie Minogue song. What's that? Better than you know. Is that how it really goes? Can we put in a sample there, Vic? Yes. No, leave it.

I just want to say bravo to you, though, for getting your health checked and staying on top of it because that's something that men are not very good at doing. Yeah, I've got a few things going on at my own. I got that. I've got a 12-month check-in, psychological check-in for ADHD because my meds are fucking no-good anymore. And it's about it. Well, I have an exciting update. What do you got?

I got rid of a bed frame last week. Similar. Another great segue. From Matt. A lot of me. He'd been holding on to that. He'd been holding on to that one. He was like, I'm going to save this bed frame story for when something serious comes up.

Those blood tests? That is great. You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's really interesting. I sold a bed frame on Markerbone. Now it's about me. Okay, what have you got? Shout out to Dan. I swear he's not tied up at my house.

He did come over. He helped me pull apart the bed frame. Again. And I've tried to fucking sell that bedframe. We've had that bed frame. for a good 12 years. And I was quite attached to it. It's time for it to go.

It was in very good condition. Memories. And 200 bucks? Nothing. 100 bucks? Nothing. And I was like, like maybe people just don't want bed frames right now.

I'm going to say it. What? Marketplace, there's no demand anymore. Right? Just the fact, I put a monitor, a computer monitor up and a 49-inch computer monitor. Like, I'm talking a fucking big boy. Yeah. It's like the biggest I've ever seen.

It's like the IMAX. It's huge. Huge. Right. What's the Odyssey on that thing? And it's a $2,000 screen I paid for it. Yeah. I put it up for a thousand bucks.

It's too big for storage. No one's buying anything for a thousand bucks. I sold it for $600. So I've lost $1,400 on it, but it took months. And I was like, so what are you? What are we doing here? What are we doing? The kids are like crammed in the living room.

It's part of the house now. I reckon it's because of the psychology behind the buying. because if you weigh up how much you're going to pay like $1,600, versus how much would it cost me to buy it new? And I know there's not going to be anything wrong with it. And it's going to be delivered to my front door. Exactly. There's been too many dodgy people on marketplace who've ruined it for all of us.

Yes. You know who you are. Honestly, the logistics scares people away now. People are scared of each other. So I was like, maybe right now there's just, like you said, the demand is not there. That's not there. That's fine. Bedframes right now.

We need a pandemic. Well, then I was like, I'll put it for free. I got like 100 messages in five minutes. And I was like, where the fuck were all of you? Now Jack the Prime. Now you've got him in. One person was like, very interested in the bed frame. And I was like, is it still available?

I said, yes. Absolutely it is. And they go, great. Would you deliver it to me? And I'm like, the audacity. But it's free. And they're like, yes. Yeah.

They go, but I'm a student. I don't give a fuck. Yeah, first of all, don't fucking care. and also education is a scam Like if you're that young You should be able to fucking walk here Yeah And put it on your back

And take it back to wherever you're from Yeah you're you're brightly motherfucker Get up, get out Get off your chair and come and pick it up I didn't say that I just said no I can't go Yeah You had the eyeing got the shower

But I had Knox Knox And collected the bed frame And he was a bit like What are you getting rid of the bed frame Just fucked on it too much Yeah the screws are all bent Screws are all banned

That's actually missing all the screws because we go hard. And he was like, well, just know, okay, that it's going to a lovely place. I don't know how I felt about this because he goes, we've got a rental that we have in the Blue Mountains. And I was like, so you've got a fucking investment property and you're getting free bed frames? It's like, give me some money. But I was like, give me 50.

I was like, that's fine. He sent me photos of it set up. That's too much. In the Blue Mountain. I know. Laura's like, who are you messaging? And I'm like, it's just knocks about the bed frame. Yeah.

And honestly, it's like it's kind to a great. Look, I'm going to stop you right there. Couldn't care less. Just get it out of my fucking sight immediately. I know, but then I'll leave it out the front. Don't talk to me. I didn't care. Then I also wanted to be like the next morning, say like,

how was it sleeping on it? But I didn't. You should have. But the mattress. There's people that's come and collect them and get rid of it. I think the mattress and it was a sensation. It was like a $3,000 mattress. Yeah, but okay, it's very different to a used car.

I think the used mattress market should be abolished. it's an ick. But think about hotel rooms. We're all fine. I sleep on the floor. No one's judging when you sleep in that hotel room, knowing that there's been hundreds, if not thousands of people.

Yeah, but for one or two nights at a time, not made themselves comfortable in it, and built what you call a swamp in there, which is where you just live in that fucking bed. A $3,000 bed, the next day after being purchased, it's worthless. The depreciation on a mattress needs to be studied.

Because I think, I remember we had a mattress to get rid of and I was like, fucking free mattress and then I thought, I don't want to meet the people who want to buy, pick up a free mattress. Well, I tried to give the mattress to Knox because I was like,

can I interest you? And it's very, he was like, ooh, fuck off. We had a period where like the kids would sleep in our bed, that would weed the bed. And it was like on the night where we forgot to put the mattress protector on

and then Marley had a blood nose and so there was blood stains. And it looks like it's been through a lot. Exactly. And you're like, should I sell this? And it's in the garage. And I'm like, have a look. It's very comfy. And there's just stains all over.

And he was like, ah, no, thank you. I was like, damn it, someone's got to want this mattress. Even Knox is like, oh, look, I'm a bit, no, thank you. That's a bit much for me. Someone out there, Laura's like, just fucking take it to the tip. And I'm like, someone out there's got to want this mattress. There's a, because I remember there was like, I was like, I don't want to meet the people who want this free mattress.

I do. I want to see who they are. So I put it outside and someone was like, I'll come and get it. I was like, good. Don't knock on the door interact with me whatsoever because I don't want to know what sort of bed thugs you got. And then when I peered out the window, I noticed that they had a truck full of old mattresses.

So they actually go and they recycle them. Give me their details. Honestly, the last details I have are theirs. I'm not interested in that garbage. I've been given word. Okay. There's a show that's currently on T. at the moment called Traders.

Yeah, I know. Familiar. A friend of the show, friend of ours, Cam Merchant, didn't quite make it through the front door. This is awkward. But honestly, he's probably thankful. He got kicked out within the first three minutes. And then for anyone who's not watched it, three or four episodes later, they're like, hiking through the mountains and he's there tied to a post.

And then they're like, should we save him? Nah. Well, if your life isn't already stressful enough as it is, your wife, Oh God. Is campaigning to be on that show. Laura, what are you doing? Can I just say I was offered a position on that show last year? And I said no.

Go on. Because I have dignity. No. I said no because the money's crap. But also, that's dignity. I'm kind of glad I didn't do it now because it's like, I'm not cut out for that world. Would you want to be in that environment, honestly?

I would love to take people down one by one psychologically, yes. Would you want to be there with people like Dicko? Fuck Dicko. And that's what I'd say straight away. That'd be, I'd be like, Dicko, you're fucking out of here, mate. Don't care, we're not voting on, you're out. They got Kira from the Bachelor. Like, it's just...

Exactly why... One of the reason I said, no, is I said, you need to tell me who is going to be on this show. Because I am not part of this reality TV world, okay? I've had one gig on TV, which honestly didn't love it, okay? You're speaking to the king of reality TV here? I know that. Can I fucking self-appoint myself?

Yeah, I know, but what I'm saying is, I said to them, I've never been on Love Island or anything anything. So I just want to know who you're looking at to put on there just in case I'm not interested. And they're like, we can't tell you. I said, well, I'm not interested. Were you interested? Nah.

You know when you're like, you used to go to these social media events and stuff here and there, like activations or whatever. And it was the same. It was pretty much just the cast of maths. I was like, I don't want to get stuck in that situation. So I didn't. I can say this because I am one of them.

But people from reality TV, we suck. Oh. We're horrific. We're awful. No, not all of them. Thank you. Thank you. That's all.

No, you fall into the suck category. What did Laura say? I want everyone to know this. If I do the traders one day, you've got to play the game. You've got to play it. You cannot. There's no niceties. You're not in there to make friends.

You play the game. It's on. It's on. Put us in together. No, don't because I'm scared. Because actually, Laura was savage. She'd actually probably knife me in the back. The problem with them putting that out to the ether is that the producers of that show

are probably licking their lips going. Gotcha. Yeah. We could have Laura on the show for minimal money. But also, I mean, the good thing is Channel 10 is so broke at the moment that those shows are filmed in three days. Yeah, it's pretty much like, babe, I'm going away on a reality TV, shall be back in 12 hours. Yeah, back in the day it was three months. Now it's like, we've got two hours to film 52 episodes. We're going to do it at your house. Can we just do this via Zoom? I don't know if I should be concerned that Laura's kind of prides herself as being someone who can be quite.

deceitful. I don't think it's just the deceitfulness of that show. You've got to also like convince people that you're a good guy to. Yeah, I guess it is just all wrapped up in deceit, isn't it? Yeah. I mean, Laura, like, she's so often and she's like, I just, I'm so stressed out. I have so much anxiety. I cannot take on a single thing more onto my plate. And then she's like, but I will do traders. And I'll have a God's sake. Before we just, this is on you, I need to bring home the vacuum cleaner today. Okay? Oh, yeah.

I got in trouble last week because the studio was getting a bit dirty. I brought in the vacuum cleaner from home. I say it's real, I say it's real clean. So we used it. We've dirtied it again, but we've had a week of no vacuum cleaner. It's been very stressful. He doesn't have no to do with herself. No, all of a sudden, when you have something that's such a vital part of the family taken away,

you realize how much you need a vacuum cleaner. Just like within the first, afternoon, I came home and like crumbs on the floor. And Laura's like, oh, we'll just vacuum that up. And I was like, about that. You shouldn't just act dumb? You mean like, what? No, she saw me take it.

Oh, okay. So please, honestly, I have to leave with a vacuum in hand. Got it, got it. Just strap the vacuum to you. Thank you. For the next episode. Thank you. Have you got a robot back?

Yeah, we do, but it's missing some pads so it won't work. So I need to get new pads. Fair. So also, Vic, make sure I order the new pads as well. My robot is just gathering dust. Yeah, we set it up yesterday. Dan had like cleaned the whole floor so that it was like ready to go and map out and stuff again. And it kept getting caught on things and stuck. And then the brush kept breaking. And it was like, I came, I had to leave and then come back. And I could hear Dan was just vacuuming it.

The only way you can have a robo vac is if you completely clean everything before using it. I will say, I will say this may be the lamest topic that I've ever discussed. But I borrowed my sister's vacuum cleaner. and it has a little dice and green light. Oh, yeah, they seal the dust. So you turn the lights down. I ended up vacuuming in the pitch black with the laser light on so I could see the dust.

Yeah, but you're picking up dust fragments there that as soon as you go past, they're back. You understand that? Do you think? Yeah, it's such a gimmick. It's such a gimmick. Because I'm like, look how dirty my floors are! And it's like, no one's like microscopically looking at like,

it's literally just like air on the ground. And you go past, if you go back, past that spot again. It's still the other one. I thought I did this spot. It's just a fucking gas line here. I was there for two hours. I'm Oshies.

Oscar finished the collection. What? He has, he has all 40. Should we? Done the unthinkable. Wow. And he hustled for him too.

Aren't there certain ushies that are selling for $30,000? Yeah, okay. 100 million. Yeah, 100 million. Let's just put that, there's like one or two of those in the world. There's no, like there is no, like I'm talking the gen, Jen Pop. What's the hardest one to get? I think it was the golden lightning McQueen.

Full credit to this boy. He didn't get, he traded to get to where he is now. Trade at school? Yeah, so he would say to Macy, if Macy had one, that he knew someone at school needed and Macy had doubles, he go, hey, someone needs this at school, but they have one that we need at home. What do you think?

So they're working in tandem. Yeah. You've got to be proud as a dad. And April was like, this boy, I'm like, yeah, but you don't want to teach him too little young. Otherwise, he would just turn into one of those guys that just scams. everyone out of everything. He'll end up being a drug dealer. Yeah. Actually, good money in that. Very good money. So yeah, he's completed it. So what does he do now? He's moved on? Well, they're all

lined up at home nicely. And the glow and the dark ones, the kids are blown away by, I can, they don't realize that I can make them blow more and I won't tell them how am I do it. I just take them. How do you do it? Tell me? I take them. I go to the exhaust fan in the kitchen, turn the exhaust fan off, just the light because it's quite bright, small. And I just hold them up like that and roll them around a bit and then I For how long? Two minutes, not even a minute. Wow.

I'll tell you what, you put your arms up like that for two minutes. It's fucking sore. My tries are like, what are you doing? What is this? I'm shaking. The sacrifices I make as apparent. April squatting like 100 kilos. I got four ushies in each hand.

Help! That weigh grams. She's like, I've got your honey. She spots me. under the thing. She's like, it comes in from behind. She's like,

I'll lift you up. To the light. Anyway, so I go back in and I do the same thing every night. The biggest dad move ever. I put it in my pocket

and it's quite dark and I walk in. I'm like, it didn't work this time. And they're like, what? No. I'm like,

kidding. And then they're like, how do you do that? I was like, I can't tell. I can't tell. We don't keep secrets. Oh, good girl.

And I'm like, I'm like, this is not a secret. It's a magician's trick. We don't keep secret. Anyway, so that's what I do. Well, I, in my local, they now stopped giving out the Ushis. Yeah, we ran out.

Yeah, they run dry. So I think we are well and truly. We're on like the bell curve of the Ushy. We are over the hump. We're now tapering off. I think this may be the last time we talk about Ushis. Yeah, I think so. I think so.

Well done. Well done. He's completed it. Now what? Ash, very quickly, we've not made this call, but just to the listeners, are aware, we are looking to implement a change. Before we implement that change, we're just managing your expectations.

Just on the YouTube edits, there's only a couple of people who will be upset by this. We're canceling it. It costs a lot of money and it takes a lot of time to edit an hour episode for YouTube. Just so you know, think of it this way. We're making a delicious roast. We're making a delicious roast turkey dinner, okay? And we're putting it on the table and we're like, this could feed thousands. And only a couple of people going, I'll have some roast turkey.

And we're like, every week we're like so much wasted roast turkey. Always with the dinner analogy. Why do we need an analogy with this? Just to allow people to understand. Here, let me break it down really quick. Go. There's only minimal amount of people that actually enjoy that content so little that it's actually costing us more money to keep those people entertained than the rest of you. That's the roast turkey analogy.

Okay. Because Turkey's, they're expensive. It's not going away forever, is it, man? So we're looking at doing like a shortened version. So we'll have certain topics. We may cut like a five, six, eight, nine, ten minute video. Yeah, that's an hour. So we're just doing that little tidbits on YouTube.

Just so you know, we may, I mean. We're broke, okay? The studio ruined us. Thank you. Thank you. Moving on. Yes. Just want to know, Ash, if your children, Oscar mainly, because he's at school, does he do a speaking competition?

He speaks nonstop all the time. He'll win. But do they do like a, you got to do a topic. Like oral. Whoa, whoa, whoa. An oral examination. They had heard oral speech or whatever, oral assessment. Fuck.

Save me. Public speaking. Yes, that's it. That's not looking for. Yeah. Do they do that? He's done it a couple times. How do you go?

He talked like of a chair, so he could talk under water, I reckon. But how did you go staying on script? Pretty good. What do we talk about? It was the zoo. Hey, great topic. Because he had palm cards sort of thing. But they were like pictures, jogs his memory. So Marley loves it. It is her jam. She's very good at remembering things.

That's her skill, right? And so she is doing one about the tooth fairy needs to increase their rates and have it standardized. So $10 per tooth. That's her persuasive speech. Wow. Yeah, it's very good. That's a persuasive speech. Very good. Yeah. And also, she's also then looking at us being like $10, motherfuckers. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. So it's actually, it's very clever. Lola's argument took us a long time to figure out what we can talk about, a topic that she's passionate about, and she doesn't like public speaking. She just, it's not a jam. Doesn't want to be up on stage, have all the eyes on her,

very opposite to Mali. And we decided that her theme is, kids should have more holidays. Okay. Not on my watch. And we're like, and we're like, okay, three points, because you want to go on holidays.

holiday to see grandpa because learning is hard and you want to have more fun just keep it simple great okay so I'm like so what are the three points she's like I don't know and I'm like remember it's about we want to see grandpa because he lives far away right repeat after me and she's she's like I don't understand yeah what are we just and I'm like okay okay so I tried to do pump cards so I'm like draw like Like a fishing rod, grandpa. And she's like, because we need to go fishing. And I'm like, close, close, very close. We got one week until they present to the classroom,

they then choose one person from each class each year to then do it at assembly. Oh, I'd hate that. Man, I would hate that so much. It's a lot. So I'm like, can we just? Well, if she doesn't remember any of it, then they won't pick it. And I think some kids, some kids, it's a broad spectrum of ability. for this public speaking.

But it's just the added pressure on parents for these type of activities, we just don't need it. Lola's Kindi. I don't think they really need to. I think that they should just say, hey, get up and tell us your favorite thing in the world. And that's it. And it's like, oh, my favorite thing is whatever.

Okay, and it's like, and then you just got to tell you what you love about. It's like, my favorite thing is this book. Why? Because it's colorful. Done, move on. Lola's like, what does persuasive mean? And I was like, well, I was trying to explain.

I spent 20 minutes explaining persuasion him. And I was like, you had to persuade her. Think of it like a turkey dinner. Here's an analogy. Have you ever had turkey? Just like, what? Louisville actually does news.

They have to do it every fortnight. And it's so that they start to get that confidence, public speaking experience. Yeah. Without having to put a lot of pressure attached to it. So they choose a topic like last week. It was my favorite fairy tale. Nice.

But it's funny with kids, like, Lola will be like, hey, what's up? How are you going? And then as soon as she practices at home, she's like, going, hey, my name's all over, whatever. All I remember is at school being like, good afternoon. Look at the audience. And I was like, make eye contact and you're like, and the moment you get a little bit too confident,

you get a word wrong. And you're trying to find your place going, oh, fuck, where was I? Yeah, you're like, good. For those of you who don't know who I am, you're all in the same class together all year. Everyone knows who you are. We know you. But they still do it though.

They still do it. Louis is really like strict on like, no, that's not how we start a mum. It has to be good morning class. Yeah, yeah. Good morning. Good morning, Louis. And then it's like, and furthermore to the previous sentence that I wrote earlier on trying to fill out the time because you've got to do a minute. I just remember there's so much pressure at school on those things where it was like you have to do an oral presentation.

It's like, I don't want to psych the teacher off. But I will. But I will. I'll do it if I don't have to speak. Right in here. Mr Barlow. All right, I just want to read this out really quick because we got sent some really lovely mugs.

One's behind us. Two doting dads, correct spelling. Spelled doating. No, doting's wrong. No, it's not. Getting. Double T, no. Ash and Maddie J.

A little something for you both. Thank you for using your platform for conversations that really matter. Not only for dads, but for women and the younger generation. We'll just stop you right there and we've just spoken about oral presentations and selling mattresses.

It's riveting. So that message doesn't apply to this episode If you're brand new. P.S. I hope you like your new mugs. Thank you. Thank you. And that's from Able Ceramics.

Check them out. Abel. Abel. No, that's Able. Abel. A bell. Let's agree to disagree. It's a bell.

A bell. Spelled A, B, E, L. However that. She doesn't not make bells in case you're like, oh. Double L. Anyway, breaking news, where we got to be. There is a viral claim doing the rounds at the moment, which I think will tickle both of your fancy.

A single hit to the testicles can cause 9,000 units of pain comparable to fracturing 3,200 bones and the pain of giving birth to 160 children all at once. New it. Yeah. Yeah, you guys think you got it rough. I'm nodding along, yes, yes, yes. The testicles contain many sensitive nerves. So a direct impact can cause intense pain that may spread to the lower abdomen and trigger nausea,

dizziness. Which is why you often see a man will drop to his knees. Yeah, he's not praying. Yeah. He's in pain. And I think... How many bones was it? How many? Three thousand two hundred. It's more. I will say though, it says pain can't be converted into a precise universal unit like this, because everyone's perception of pain is different. But obviously there is a biological reason. A blow to the testicles can be extremely painful. And was it the same as birth or worse than... 100 births. 160, which I have to... Go on.

I stand by those numbers. But also as well, that's not mentioned in there, is that our testicles are on the outside of our body. Yes. Well said. So they're very susceptible to any sort of pain or any... They're in the way. Yeah, I think the human body is an incredible invention.

Except for the testicles. Except for the testicles. That is the one fault I think that we can all agree on. Something so valuable. It was like, what about these? Sir, what about this? Just leave them out. Yeah.

Leave them on the outside. Attach them still. But leave them on the, but also then have on the inside of them, they're separate too. So they're separate. Yeah, that's quite precarious. Just make sure that's how they're created. How often would the area get hit? You don't want to know, Vic.

You don't know. You don't want to sit on them. Can you sit on them? When I was 14. to mind we've got twisted. Are you okay to talk about this? I am. It's an emotional time for me.

It is. I still have the scar. Very brave. I still have the scar. Twisted on the inside or the inside? Outside, you just untwisted. But inside, not so simple. What was that?

14, that's right. We drove to Sydney from the Gold Coast. I love how you're sitting there looking at the Sydney. Like, how old was I? I guess. Well, it was 22 years ago. I was a 14 year old. I was a 14, prone to unexpected erections.

guilty at that age. Oh yeah. Especially whilst driving. And I had to drive with my family from the Gold Coast to Sydney. It's the vibration. It's the vibration. My leg was up on the dash trying to cover up that bono. The majority of that drive.

Anyway, then I got to the destination and served a few times with some friends and realized that something was not right, a lot of pain. And I remember Dad coming to pick me up from my mate's house and he fucking loves a yarn. Jesus Christ. And he started talking to the mum and I'm like, Dad, I'm in fucking pain here. It's my nuts. And he was like, fuck. So he dropped me off to my mum for my mum then to take me to the hospital.

Oh, my dad. Poor form, I know. He was like, I can't handle that sort of stuff. Within half an hour, I'm in surgery. So six hours of testicle dies. So I'm in surgery, right? It's like Buster's twisted stomach. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I spent what, that whole trip was fucked, obviously, because I had testicles that were fucking massive because they had to cut it open, stitched to the side walls. Zip me back up and send me on the way as a 14-year-old boy. And you also had quite big testicles in the first place. Yeah, I would say so.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'll run with that. But I think it actually happens a lot, but most of the time they untwist naturally. Also, you can have one that hasn't descended yet, but that wasn't a case. These are twisted. From the way you were sitting. Look, I do have something to admit that no one, I've never told anyone before. Oh, my God.

I was 14 and discovering myself. Which is so acceptable. Okay. I think the night or the day before I would have jerked off, I reckon at least 10 times. What does that have to do with? I think I might have vigorously twisted my own testicles without unknowingly. And then I had, I blame it on the surfing, but I think from memory I may have overindulged in myself as one does. Being very modest here.

As one does. And I think that's more. Oh my gosh. Surely after five or six, there was nothing else to do. There's nothing else in me. I was on holidays. I was young and carefree. I was carefree until I was in hospital.

Can I just quickly, not to really hone in on the self-pleasure, but like how much time between each one? Not long. Like just back to back to back to. I tell you what. At that age, your recharge rate is very minimal, I reckon. I think that's what's happened. And I...

One more question. I had a mate that was so just no sympathy whatsoever. He would pretend to sackwack me afterwards and I would squeeze my nuts together. He was one of our best friends still, but like, fuck, what an asshole. In a sock or where was it going? The ten times. Oh, fuck, I don't know. I think I was pretty empty by that stage.

Yeah, you just... It was just air. Anyway, so I got, what happened is I picked up a little infection in the hospital too, not on my nuts, just, I got a boil, like on my leg and stuff, and then I got one here. A boil? Yeah, I just got it from the hospital. I keep up things to the hospital. Your mum and dad are like, fuck, what next was this kid? Anyway, one time.

And because I was on all these painkillers, I was so constipated, right? This is a horrible time of my life. Still jacking off 10 times a day as well. It increased the pleasure. Anyway, I remember trying to push out this poo so hard once And the boil on my cheek exploded onto the wall Oh, my God! Fucking hell!

Testicles, don't underestimate testicles, everybody. That's what I'm trying to say. And he wonders why he has hemorrhoids. Shush. Your poor anus. I know. I know. I'm supposed to do that.

But I have a lovely stitch down the front of my nuts. really separates the two. Get it out. Okay. Watch on YouTube. Actually, you can't watch on YouTube anymore. Big, thank you very much. Thank you very much.

Hey, Matt, I ran into some friends of yours on the weekend. I was in Bondi. Yeah, sorry I couldn't see. No, that's okay. I did give you a warning, but you were busy. And my cousin had a gallery opening in the pavilion. Lovely building in Bondi. Beautiful.

And it turned out to be a really nice morning because it was raining on and off and then it just went really nice for a couple hours. So got to go see that Anyway, we're walking back to the car And I hear this, Ash It's like, oh, Melanenzo Ah Lovely people, aren't they?

Yes. Lovely people. So Melanenzo are Matt's friends From the park. From the park that he's, you know, they've grown quite close. Lovely people, they're coming over for dinner. Excuse me?

What? My godson. Yeah, your godson is coming to my house for dinner. No, he's not. Yeah? No, he's not. I'm jealous. They're not coming.

They've got a newborn child. No, I made it up. I was like, you should tell them that you guys are hanging out now. But anyway, they ran into them. Antelai looks great because he had a stroke. A stroke, yeah. And I was like, don't get up! No, he was like, they came over and they were just like,

one of those mornings just to get out of the house, kids would just run on the mark. But anyway, I just thought I'd mentioned. Did you meet my godson? No, he's asleep. Did you wake a mark? Also, I don't do things. I don't do babies very often. I actually forgot that they even had a child.

I was like, hey, there's your kids. Only two. I will say just quickly on Milaninozo, I got the gift. I got the gift for Marlow, my godson. What can I get my godson? The air. I want something that's a bit of a legacy piece, you know? It's not your kid.

It's a legacy piece. It is my god. He's got a tattoo of the family crest. I am the godfather. And I was like maybe jewelry, maybe like a pen. I don't know. What can this child... A pen?

I don't know. Yeah. And I was thinking... A Montblonk pen. Yeah, something like that, you know, like... Beautiful. But then, you know, no one cares for pens anymore. Penn industry is dying.

Yeah, BIC are really struggling financially. Yeah, yeah. Thoughts to anyone who works at BIC. But then I thought, okay, something that's going to be of value when he's older. I've got a membership to the SCG. Oh, great. Sydney Cricket Ground for those of you at home playing. Also, I believe, gets you tickets to Allian Stadium next door.

Roosters. I think there's also a gym there. Yeah. He set this kid. But the wait time is 16 years. Yeah. So you have to pay, it's like an amount of money. It's not huge, but you pay every year to renew being on the wait list. And the only issue was there was two options, one off payment or the automatic renewal.

And the automatic renewal on website wasn't working. So I was like, I'll do the one off payment. They email you when it's about to expire. If it expires, you're back to the end of the queue. Very stressful. Do your kids have this? No, but I was... You're like, fuck my kids.

That guy's kid. So if you want to... Because it's a son. Oh, that's true. I actually should get it for like one of our... Because if you get one person's a member, you get, think, three or four tickets to games for free. It's like the MCJ, it's like 50 year weight. Yeah.

You get born into it. It's great. I should do it for like one person in the family. Yeah, but like that's the thing, the pressure of we have to use this now because of all the years of paying for it. That's it. Just buy a ticket to go to the game when the game comes up that you want to go to. You're right. But I get the prestige of I'm a bit more.

But yeah. So one day when he turns 16, hopefully I've had the renewal automated. Can I ask how much it was? It's about 50 bucks a year. Ah, that's not too bad. So 16 years. All right.

Let's go over here. You're nearly talking about $1,000 over 20 years. Yeah, like $7,800. And at what point does, say that kid gets to an age and you're like, hey, do you know what I did when you're a child and he's not into sport whatsoever? Well, then Melanenza can use it. And they can go to the nice gym. That's fair.

Okay, all right. So it's a good gift for the family. I was expecting more of a reaction from the two of you. Well, I was deep in thought, actually, because I was gifted this myself. Wait, what? Yes. For the SCG? Yep.

I used to be a member. You used to go, what happened? Well, I moved away, and also I had kids, and then I realized I probably wouldn't be up to go, so I had to cancel that membership. But I got it as a gift. You canceled a membership that people. are waiting 16 years for. Yeah, but then someone else gets an opportunity.

Look, as I said, it wasn't something I took lightly. But when you're paying that much money... Well, it sounds like you did. You just like, you know, I let it go. No, because I waited so long to get on that. And like, I had to get in with other members for ages until I could finally be a member. But I think I got it for like my 18th birthday present.

But mum and dad must have applied for it when I was like... What are you paying when you actually got the membership? How much is it? I can't remember, but it was like a couple hundred or something. Yes. There is the argument. You're giving this kid to bill. That's what you're giving him, really.

Something to pay. Well, thank you. But it is fun when you're there, though. I mean, it's definitely like a different present. Maybe when he grows up, he's like really into it and it paid off and you guys go together. That's what I said. So it's really about you. Yes.

Start the story with that. I'm more on board. Well, this makes me sound like a bit of a tear. There was a moment in the middle of the night that made me smile. Obviously, kids in and out of my bed in the middle of the night, which is so... Your own kids. Let me clear that right up. My own children where I'm like, stay in your own bed and they come into our bed in the middle of night.

But I had a night the other night where Oscar came in quite early in comparison and went to sleep was fine. No worries. And then we were, I was trying to get to stay. Always struggled to get to sleep. And I get frustrated, especially when they were... Especially when there's a kid in there. I can't get to sleep without a kid in there the best of times, let alone when there's a kid in there.

I quite enjoy it. I can't, yeah. Could you see fidgety? Yeah, but also he's like quite hyperactive sleeper. You can see he's ticking over all the time. And I was like getting a little bit frustrated or whatever. And then he started laughing in his sleep. Yeah.

And I was like, that's weird. But then I sort of had a moment to myself where, hang on a sec, He's asleep, okay, and instead of having nightmares about bad things that are happening, he's actually laughing. Yeah. And it made me think about the environment that I'm bringing him up in and that it's all fun. And I kind of felt like I like the idea of him not having a nightmare, but him having a dream where he actually has a laugh.

Fuck yeah. I was so frustrated in the moment, but then that happened and I was like, oh, fuck. You know, and it kind of made me think, well, maybe we are doing a decent job. Absolutely. And it was like. And it was like just a little moment that I thought I didn't want to let get away that I had to record it so that I could look back on it and go, okay, well, in that moment, I felt like he was so comfortable in his surroundings and where he lives and how safe he might have felt. And he's not having bad thoughts in bad dreams. He's actually having a great time.

And that made me feel really good. Yeah. So I just thought I wanted to tell you. I think it's a beautiful thing. And then he screamed. No, he didn't. No, he didn't. Did you ask him what he was dreaming about?

No, the next, I remember April was like, was it, I was going to laughing last time? And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, he was laughing. And I actually had a giggle because I was laughing about how hysterically he was laughing. Did you record his laugh? I just was in the moment, which is not like me. I'm usually just like, shut up. No, it was like, oh. I was like, get out of my room.

Actually, you can stay. But then April was like, yeah, he was at him. I was like, yeah, and I was like giggling along with him. And then he just went, just obviously went to sleep. And you're like, it must be nice. Yeah, it must be nice. I was up for another two hours after that thinking about it. But it was like just one of those moments that you don't get a lot of as a parent because it's such a thankless job majority of the time.

100%. And you'll go all day, all night, forcing your kids to say thank you for everything that you give them. And then when something like that happens in the middle of night that's completely unconscious because he's unconscious asleep. And I would love to know what he's laughing about, but he doesn't remember. Remember any of it. I know you hate receiving compliments. So I'll make this very quick, but you are a really amazing dad. Oh, wow.

Okay. Thank you. You are. That ate me. You're doing a great job. Thank you. Thank you. You too.

You too. You should really know that. Yeah. Look, I'm, in April, I'll tell you a million times how fucking hard on myself I am all the time about it. Because, I mean, we're going to have Jen on, thankfully. But like, yeah, I mean, a lot of the time I sort of finish the day thinking. about however I acted was that correct and I'm pulling myself up so much with things like just the way my tone is about something that the way that I talk to them accidentally and I'm

like shit and it's like fuck you just I suppose you're just in survival mode so much of the day yeah yeah thank you that means a lot because I do I am really really hard on myself and I spend a lot of time in my own head having conversations that are relentless. Yeah. So it's like, yeah, it's nice to hear. So thank you. But good moment. I didn't, I wanted to get it down on recording. So I have it forever and I'll show him later. I love that. I love that. Beautiful. Thank you. Ash, who was in the wrong here? All right. Late on me, big guy. Play you a video. Oh, okay. I love visuals.

There are two people. There are two camps. I don't spoil it. There are two camps here. Both could be innocent. So I'm going to play you the video, Ash, and then I'll get your thoughts. Okay. Right afterwards. So it is That's okay So it is a couple Who are together I don't know

It could be their first pregnancy They're doing a gender reveal On a public jetty Yeah it says here You're just trying to film your gender rule Before the sun sets That's good That's what it's like having a child

They just do whatever they want around you And don't listen And then another guy So the couple Doing a gender reveal And they've got a beautiful set up here. There's like on a jetty white sheets. They've got flowers.

There's a cake. It's obvious what they do. And the gender reveal will be the like the champagne flute into the cake to see what I'm guessing. Yeah. To see what color the cake is. And there's a guy who's on a foil board who's trying to launch off the jetty. It's just like having a toddler immediately. So get used to that.

Like literally it's just like you're trying to do something serious. Like, mom, what's this? I mean, if you're going to do something. to do a gender reveal, you run the risk, doing anything in public? You run the risk, yeah. Who do you think is at fault? Is it the couple doing the gender reveal or is it the guy on the foil board? I don't understand why there needs to be anyone at fault.

Because it is in public. You're at a public jetty. You're doing your thing. I don't know exactly what he said because it's obviously, you can see he's trying to get out of there as quick as you can too. To launch a foil board, watch the socials, we'll put it on there. But you've got to like hold the board, like push off and it's got to have a certain amount speed for the foil to like kick in and then you got to stand on the foil board so he goes through launch and he falls off so he's like sorry you got to like paddle back go back on the jetty do another launch sun is setting a lot of pressure could you not just say launch somewhere else no i think the guy

who's the foil rider could say hey i'll give you guys you got six minutes to film you bit yeah and then i'm going to launch also where does it end like where does it end where you've got to accommodate ever, whatever everyone else is doing before, you can actually do what you're doing. Because, like, he's gone down there. He doesn't know. He didn't go down there intentionally trying to ruin whatever's happening. We don't know that. But I think there's enough time in that video.

I can see it is sunny setting, but there's time there for that guy to get his thing done and go. What's priority? The gender reveal on sunset, golden hour lighting or the foil board launching. Depends who you ask. I reckon, for me, for me, I would take the priority has to go to the gender reveal. I don't think either get the priority. I don't know.

This is a weird one for me because I think it's a public jetty. You run the risk. We said that. I think maybe a little bit more from the guy trying to paddle board, maybe just a little bit more like grace in terms of like, oh, I'll come back maybe like you said. But I don't think you need to say anything, right? So maybe there is some intrusiveness there.

But at the same time, if you're doing something publicly, you can't expect it to be perfect. Like when people film in the gym and it's like, someone walks in front because it's a public gym and it's the same thing. I think it's like you could see by that he was trying to get it done and get it out of the way. Okay. You can see like the way he's doing it. He's like, I'll be really quick.

And it is really. But he falls over and cuts his leg and he's like, help. You can't help that. You can't help me. But I think like maybe he could have been like. You guys go first. You're running the risk in public. Anything could happen.

A fucking boat could go past and someone could be like, oh, I'm shot your dick. You can't, you can't control that. I think, I think gender reveals should be. treated with the utmost respect by the public. No, I think, I think you should be allowed to drop in a gender reveal at any location in a public domain and it should stop traffic.

No, no, I think that's, it's a gender reveal. It's one of the most important moments for a parent. Yeah, but that guy could have easily been like, hey, you're on a public jetty,

which is used for this, you're running the risk. People fish off a public jet. Exactly right. So I think it's like. They could have been a fisherman in the background. Yeah. It's like,

they don't leave. Yeah, like, So, for example, when I proposed to my wife was on the top of this mountain called Twin Peaks in San Francisco, okay? The cab drive, one of these places where the cab you take, you need to pay that guy to hang around because you can't get a cab up there, right? He doesn't know that I'm trying to propose, but he just will not leave us alone. Okay. If you're two a guide. He just all of a sudden turned to this tour guy because he's like, I'm being paid to be up.

I'm not going to sit in my car. I'm going to enjoy it as well. I'm like, whatever, bro. Yeah. Could you not say to him like, hey, man, I'm just going to do a proposal? Now, once he sort of got a little bit far away, I got it done. But then he was fucking crying. He was a part of it.

But did you get him to film? No, I don't. What do you mean? No, we had friends with us. We had friends with us. Oh, okay. Yeah, they knew what was happening and we were all like, oh. Anyway, that he was like in and around it all as well.

And it was kind of intrusive. But at the same time, I'm like, I'm doing this in public, okay. I can't say to people, I have no. You can, Ash. No, I just think that I don't have. It's the one moment that you can. Well, where's my right to tell you to stop doing what you're doing? I think I would hate it if someone told me to stop doing what I'm doing because they're my choices.

But if someone was like, if someone said to me, hey dude, I'm just about to do this proposal. Could you just give me five? I'd be like, fuck yeah. Fine. Absolutely fine. I think what's not necessary is you posting it for clout. That's what I think. I think humans are going to be humans and you could see that it was communication.

He communicated and they communicated back. They could have easily said, hey, can we have five minutes? And he probably would have gone totally. But whatever that has happened there, they felt the need to post that for clout. I think that's the real fucking problem. Like if you're so worried about one person in public doing a reveal that you're going to post it for thousands,

millions of people to see, you've lost all right to privacy. I agree. I agree. I also don't know why you wouldn't have a moment like that in private. I know. I just think. Because it's on the water, guys.

It's on the water at sunset. I get it. I'm a photographer. Like I know that's a beautiful setting. I never made a big deal. This guy who at the proposal, right, he kind of made it about him in a way. But I still, at the same time, he has free will. And I wasn't like, oh, can you believe this curb drop?

No. I'm like now, whatever. It was part of the story now for me. I think it's a bit rich to complain about it and then post it online. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I think in terms of like that.

situation like we all exist in the world together if we want to do things that like trench on each other's space it's just a conversation yeah exactly right it's like when it's like when you go to a tourist attraction and someone's like they're like can you get out of the way i'm trying to take a photo it's like bitch we're all trying to take a fucking photo because it's a tourist attraction you fucking idiot gender revealing or proposal then fuck off no but i just think it's like people are just so entitled to oh we got this jetty because we're having a thing so you can't do what the jetties probably been put in here to fucking do because this guy's, it's his hobby.

You know what I mean? I just wish the public would all appreciate and take more notice of gender reveals because they are... You're just rage-batting you now. Moving right along. Now shit is time for this. Tell me live.

Tell me sweet little lies. Tell me, tell me, tell me lie. Tell me, tell me lie. This segment of parental lies. Dirty Dads edition, Matt. It's brought to you by Omo Capsules When Life Gives You Laundry. keep up with capsules and I will say

say it Ash I will say this without a lot of these lies parenting would be a lot messier absolutely I use them to keep the house clean and a little reminder Ash that we do have one winner from these lies when we read them all out we will select one and one only to receive an

no Mo Prize pack yes and what a prize pack it is well said I will say you want to go first or want me to go first you go first my friend All right. This one's from Cali. All right. Thank you, Kelly. Cali?

Kaylee. Kaylee. I think that's right. Cahely? Cahley. Cahley. How is it spelled? K-A-I-L. Oh, there's no H.

I, sorry. R-A-W-E. A-L-A-L-A-W-E. Can I buy a Vowl? No, you've got them all already. Okay, I showed my child a picture of Voldemort and told him he lost his nose from picking it too much. Oh, my God. Oh, that's actually pretty good. That's clever.

Considering that it would cause nightmares, though, but whatever. Anyway, you're up. What are you got? Okay, this is from Karen. Hello, Karen. Spelt. No, we can't do it with every day. Karen, how are you?

She says, if you don't wear your beanie in the wind, your hair will blow off and you'll be bald. No one wants that. It's the little ones that I love the most where it's like so simple that a parent's gone. It is hard to get a beanie on though. Yeah. In the wind, at the moment. you know,

brutal. Whatever it takes. This one's from Jamie, but it's spelt differently. Go on. I actually do you want to know. J-A-I-M-I. Shut up.

Jamai? Jamai? I don't know. Whatever. We'll figure it out. If I got it wrong, I'm sorry. Okay, we get a lot of names here.

We get them wrong all the time. If he wants us to buy one more monster truck, it means we will have to sell the house. Is that what you want? Yeah. You want to be homeless? Yeah. And for what, a monster truck?

I know. I do it with food. I'll be like, well, we won't get to eat then. I do, I can't wait for the day that my kids understand the concept of money. Because Marley was like, oh, I just want some reading glasses because I think they look cool. Some kids have glasses. And I'm like, well, who's going to pay for that? And she's like, well, you are.

And I'm like, well, with what money? She's like, I don't know, just get some more. I know, no idea. And I'm like, I'm running out of it. And she's like, well, how much is left? And I'm like, not a lot. I know. It's running pretty dry.

Ryan, as Oscar was like, I think I told you, it was I can't think it was $30 for anushi. I'm like, oh my God. It's not. It's not. Oh, we go past, Willie. Can we buy some ushies? Doesn't work like that. Okay, so this name is a tricky one, Ash.

Yeah. Sonia. Sonia. Sonia. Sonia. Sonia. Sonia. Okay.

So she's, this one's about the nonas. Ooh, on brand. Here he is. On topic. Look at you getting in close. So Nona told us that there are witches. in the trees and they come out at night time and they'll take us after dark. Oh my God.

There's nothing like the threat of impending kidnapping that really gets a kid moving. I told you. They're not. You've got to watch out for them. They're brutal. But imagine if like you're having a nice dinner and you got to like walk home and the parents would be like, why the fuck is Cindy? No, why is Sonia so scared?

Because of the witches. Oh, the witches are in the trees. What are you talking about? The nodders are like, me. They would match those hats too, I reckon. Little nonas stirring apart. A little witch's hat. Stephanie, getting my kids to leave anywhere by telling them our dog is waiting for us.

She definitely isn't. She hates the kids. But they feel bad for making her feel lonely so they do it. Oh, that's kind of sweet. That is clever. I know when we get her home, the dog's like, You guys again. We have to get back because of it.

Buster. Yeah. I'm going to use that. Use it. Yeah, it's a good one. That's my favorite so far, I will say. Oh, I think you'll like this one. Okay.

This one is, I'm going to say the favorite to win. Not to talk about. Oh, okay. From Maddie. She says, I feel like this is something you would do, Ash. Dad used to give us sleeping pills when we said we couldn't sleep. I found out in my 20s that were just vitamin C. Oh.

Oh, that's a good classic kids or idiots one. Beat that one. Okay, I got one. I got one. I got one. Is that abuse? Potentially. Potentially.

I gave us sleeping pills. I thought, oh, fuck. And then. Imagine if I, like, in front of, like, other parents, the kids are like, Dad, give us a couple of those pills. You just not heroin, would you? Yeah, it's a good stuff. Yeah, the orange ones.

You got the pill container there? Give us one. This one's from Ashley. You're not going to guess how she spelled Ashley. A-S-H-H-L-E- Why? Wrong. I-G-H.

Close. I-G-H? That's a mistake. That's long. She really wanted that extra syllable. That's, come on. Ash Ligach. She tells her kids, don't worry.

Daddy won't be long in the toilet. Straight up lie. So, Matt, we have to choose a prize pack. Can I do one? I'm going to squeeze one more. You got to squeeze one more. Can I squeeze on more? Okay.

Mainly because it's the J-My. J-My. J-my. This is, I got a J- Who's your J-M-I? My J-M-I. How do you spell yours? J-A-I-M-I.

Mine's J-A-Y-Y-M-I. This is a stitch-up. We're getting stitched up, I reckon. The listeners is like, just tell them it's from someone else. J-M-I. So I told her kids that she was allergic to cats. She's not. She just hated.

That could be true. She just hated cats and didn't want them to ask for one. Fair enough. I mean, it works. Yeah. It's not my favorite. I will die if I see a cat. Yeah, I would be more dramatic and be like, you don't,

you don't want to see what happens. And my esophagus expands. I can't breathe. It's horrific. You don't want to see it. They'll suffocate at you in your sleep. That's what I was told. Anyway, we need to choose a winner of this Omo Prize pack.

Do you choose one? Oh, look, if I'm going to choose one, I'm going with Stephanie. What? Yeah. Yeah. Remind me what Stephanie lying about it? The dog. The dog.

Mainly because we all know the dog hates the kids being in the house. Yeah. And the lie being so completely. contradicting to the actual situation. I really like that sort of stuff. Fair, fair. So that's my pick. Your Omo Prize pack is on its way.

It's coming your way. Get ready for those capsules. And of course, big thanks to Omo Capsules for sponsoring this segment of parenting lines the Dirty Dad's Edition. I think you'll agree with me, Matt, but without these lies, our houses and our lives,

we won hell of a mess. Well said, Ash. I always agree with you when you're right. Which is all the time. Thank you. Find out in stores at leading retails and users directed. it always keep out of sight and reach of children.

And now if you're a dad watching this and you think, I'd love to use it on my capsules, but I don't know how to do the washing. Good news. Ash and I have done a tutorial on how to do the washing at home. Oh, it's going to be riveting stuff. So go watch it. If you're a wife watching it, being like,

I'd love my husband to be educated. Good news. Send them the video. We're here to educate. Yeah. That's what we're here. First and foremost, education. If you've enjoyed this episode, don't forget.

Don't forget it. It's very important. Do you need to give us a subscription? so the episodes come directly into your inbox and also remember a couple of reviews, Apple Podcast, and then you can give us an individual. Give us two reviews. Go on Apple first, Spotify second on each individual episode.

Give us three. Can you give us a third? And then comment somewhere on social media. Just anywhere. And then once you've done those three, your job is done. Yes, two-duty days on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube shorts. And... Where else?

The Facebook group. Oh yeah, we forgot about the Facebook group. thriving. Always. Are we at 5K yet? We must be edging. Yeah, we're very close. Oh, yes.

Very close. Just the way I like it. And we will see you all next week. Yes, Monday there's a housekeeping episode, so please keep your ears and eyes out for that. But if you subscribe, it'll be in your inbox, we're ready to go. There he is. The man, the messaging master.

Sold! See ya. Two Doting Dance podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect. to their elders, past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gatigle Land.