Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash - #260 Are We Politicians Now?!

Episode Date: September 13, 2026

The guys have had a busy week. One minute they’re in Canberra lobbying politicians for more paid parental leave for dads, the next they’re accepting Father of the Year awards. Standard. Then it's straight into the important Doter Dilemmas because it’s Housekeeping Day. They address playground etiquette and the age-old question: when is it actually acceptable to go up the slide? Plus, is it OK to say no to the kids when you’ve got absolutely nothing left in the tank? From Parliament House to the playground… just another week in the life of Two Doting Dads. If you wanna run with Matt as your coach, use the code: MATTYJ for one month free of the KICApp (can only be redeemed when joining via kicwellness.com) If you would like to sign the petition you can do so here.  You can buy Gen's High low Buffalo cards here.  If you'd like a personalised mug like the guys you can grab them from here.  ______________________________________________________________________________ If you need a shoulder to cry on:  Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello. Hello. Welcome back. How's your trip? Welcome back to you. Thank you. Thank you. It's great to have you here.

It's good to be back. Feels like it's been a while since we've been face to face. It has been. On this desk. I would like to say I had a nice of relaxing break, but I didn't. I do want to hear about your trip. We'll talk about it on Wednesday. We'll do it on Wednesday.

We'll do it on Wednesday. Yeah, a little teaser. A little teaser. A little teaser. Didn't quite go to plan for those listening, but we'll talk about it. I'm not going to tell you yet because this is, as we know, for the Dota's housekeeping. Perfect. I'll do the intro. Welcome back to two-odding dads. I'm Maddie J.

And I'm Ash. And this is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good. It is the bad. And the relatable. And we don't give advice. No, just suggestions. Do you know what? We're flying pretty dangerous to that line of not giving advice because we were just in Canberra. Yes. Is that advice? Oh, yeah. Look at Questicon. There's some advice out of Canberra.

Questicon? Yeah. What's Questicon? What? Whoa. What? What? Questicon? I know, I had to tell Zach about this yesterday, too.

Zach the walker. Zach the walker. Zach, he likes to walk. Zach Perez. Becoming dad. That's his book. He is the Melbourne dad who does the walks on Sundays. Yes.

So I said to him yesterday when we were in Canberra because he's from Melbourne and he said, what are people doing Canberra? I said, that's a very good question because there's only one thing I know other than going to Parliament House, which is we went for a very important cause because we are spearheading something. I said, go to Questicon. He was like, what's that? It's an interactive science museum. If we'd had time, we would have gone.

But it's like, so it's like the sort of place you go and you learn about science, of course it's tailored towards kids in a fun way. So like you put your hand on the thing, your hair stands up. You can run against Kathy Freeman to see what your pace is like. Now that's my jam. Be mindful. I haven't been there for 25 years. Is it one of those places that's a little bit weird if you go there without kids?

Are they like, oh, why are they here? No, it's a nodding. Really? Yeah, I don't think, like, sure, if you're a real science nerd, like, you could go, but I think everyone that goes there will have a kid with them. Not me, man. If the two of you went together, I think people would. But they know, they know we have kids.

So that's like, they're like, oh, that's a loud. But if you. Getting info. If anyone does not have kids and they're thinking about it, just be warned. I'll be honest. We get a couple eyeballs. I'll be honest. We were doing jumps on push bikes at like 10 o'clock at night.

So I think going to the museum with our kids is the least of our concerns. People. Can you explain the bikes? Yeah, so people looked at us like we were riding camels through the street. They were like, who are these people? We were like, hello, Canberrians. It's so flat. It's so easy.

You can't not ride. People are so suss on bike riders now because there's so many like little bike gangs with teenagers. That's us. I felt like I was part of a gang. Yeah, we were like. We bashed one person, all right? Matt was bragging about his balance. The whole time.

And then he was like, let's do a challenge, balance along this gutter. I was like, okay. I'll entertain it. And then he did it terribly. I said balance standing still, not balance moving forward. You can't throw brags out there and they're not back it up. So look, we were in Canberra. I beat him.

Okay, just for the record. Thank you. Thank you. You did very well. Well done. You deserve that victory. Thank you. There were bikes to hire, not electric bikes, the old school fashioned ones that you have to pedal.

Bells and gears and pedals. And we hired them. and we wrote it to dinner. Across the road. And then we wrote it to Parliament House because we were there talking to all the other very important politicians and media about trying to advocate for dads to take more paid parental leave and to make it more accessible.

Yes, so Movember has put out their study. And it's all about that we're here for it too. Dads are here for it too. And we got behind the cause because we want to advocate for dads to be able to spend more time with their newborn babies, which there's no downside. that. I think I wish when I had my kids, well, especially Oscar, early doors, I wish I had more time that was open to me to take, if that makes sense. Or I didn't really have the knowledge of

what was available for me to take. So I think this whole thing for us is so that dads can be more present from day one. The big takeaway from the report was the fact that one and three dads take no paid parental leave, which seems crazy because the benefits, if you do take it, they're amazing. mom gets to recover better. It's better for your relationship with mom, better for your relationship with baby. Also, it means it reduces the rates of postnatal depression for dads. Quite substantially, too, based off studies.

Other countries have done the same thing for years. Yeah. So it's really interesting. I mean, for us... How long did you have off with Oscar? Initially, I took two weeks early doors. How was that? Was it enough?

No way, no. Because you can't really understand a lot in two weeks. About anything, let alone one of the most important things in your life. Yeah, flash in the pan. And it's sort of like, depending on the situation with April, it was an emergency C-section. So straight away, can't drive for six weeks. I've only got two weeks off paid.

So that's all that your job offered you? They offered me two weeks, yeah. There was an option to be the primary carer after mum goes back to work. But April was 12 months. I ended up taking three months as a sabbatical unpaid to support April and Oscar. because I kept coming home. Sorry to sound really dumb here. It's sabbatical.

It's unpaid. Unpaid. They essentially held my job for me. Thankfully, who I work for were really understanding of the situation, which is I've come back to work in the city. I've had to leave early, come home late at night to see April who hasn't slept, Oscar who hadn't slept. It was just one of those moments where it was like...

Everyone's just trying to survive. Everyone's trying to survive instead of thrive here. And no one's learning anything new. We're just getting short with each other, irritable. April is. clearly depressed. So did you go back to work after two weeks to then take a sabbatical? How long were you back at work for?

I think it was two weeks max. And what was that two weeks like for you? Hell. So every day I was getting home to a broken person. Unfortunately, April was, she had just gone through major surgery in terms of having a C-section. She can't drive. She can't sleep. You've got to think of like.

Is hair? Because every form of torture into one. With a C-section, how much of your mobility is limited? I'm assuming she can't like jog up the stairs. I had to shower her and stuff like that. Thankfully she's young and feared and whatever. She started to recover quite quickly, which is great. But her mental health was so bad because there was no reprieve whatsoever.

And then I'm working. So I think for me it was like either I take this three months off or essentially ruin us. So I think taking that time off probably saved my life, probably saved a lot of April's life. Because those three months that I took off, it gave me this. opportunity to go, all right, well, I want to, one, be able to build a bond with my son because at that point, I couldn't stand him because of what he was doing to April. But then she could get some rest. You know what? The biggest takeaway from that whole thing for me is that I got to build that bond with Oscar and then we became this much stronger family unit moving into the next stage of

our life. Because at that stage, we were like, what have we done to ourselves when it shouldn't be like that? I know there's going to be complications and I know everyone's going to be different. But in a situation where it's like one of the biggest milestones in your life, you can't have a crash course in that, go to work and then come home thinking everything's going to be fucking fine and dandy. But I think it also sets a foundation for what parenting is like for the next few years, decades even, because a lot of dads, you hear the excuse of like, well, just to the mama, you're so much better at it.

You're so much more nurturing than I am. And it's like, no, it's more so you just, you've clocked up the hours. They've been there. if dads only get that little bit of time off, they're just playing catch up. There's no way that they had enough time to really understand what baby needs, the routine, etc. And there's a real mix between dads who really want this time off and dads who feel guilty for taking this time off for their employer.

There's also a mix of employee expectation as well. And it's like, if you're in a toxic workplace where it's like, we'll see you in two weeks, you better be back in two weeks. It's like, the stuff that you're doing over there is not lifesaving, unless you're a lifesaver. But I mean, in... Then keep up the great work. Yeah, keep the great work. But at home, it's like you're saying,

oh, you're much more caring and much more nurturing. You've set yourself a limitation with that sentence because the rest of whatever your actions are going to essentially knock on from that. You're going to be like to your work. Oh, I'm coming back. Sweet. You're prioritising that instead of prioritising your relationship with your kids, your wife and all sorts of stuff.

So if you've got the incentive, take it. And if... Yeah, I think there's a lot of dads who... They don't know what they can take. But they, yeah, I know. And I think even what's available to them, they're like, well, you know, it's with a newborn, it's mum's role. I don't need to take that much time off work.

And it's like, no, absolutely. You do. You do. Because I was forced into taking it in a sense because of lockdown with COVID with Mali. And I look back and I'm like, that was the best thing for my family to have that one-on-one time with no distractions at all. Because I had no work because I was in lockdown. You won't regret it.

No, absolutely not. I think this is what blows my mind. Now I look, now I look back. I think, okay, my wife's pregnant. Sorry, sorry. Stop interrupt. Sorry. I look back now and I go, okay. Sorry.

Jesus, guys. No wonder I lose my train of thought around here. I'm like going to have a fucking serious conversation. You're like, hang on. This will blow your mind. One second. Let me just blow my mind. Anyway, so.

I don't time of sneeze. Looking back, I think this is the, this is the circumstances everyone goes through when they're having a baby. First baby. We're pregnant. It's all celebrations. It's great. You get your affairs in order in terms of what's going to happen, when it's going to happen

with your employer, with your family. All this sort of stuff is you set this expectation before someone is even born. And it's like we go, I'm only going to need two weeks. You're fucking delusional, bro. You need more time than that. Not just to learn to help the basics where it's like, I get it. Mum's always going to, mum's on with the boob or if you're breastfeeding or whatever it might be and all that sort of stuff.

But there's so many things that you can do and learn over those months to make sure that you as your family unit before you go back to work or if mom is really career driven and you're going to take over, you need more than two weeks. I always say becoming a parent is like starting a new job and society expects you to be the absolute best of it within two weeks. And if we and if we normalize it for kids now, think about when they're adults, how normal it would be if all parents took enough time off work. So there's a great report by Movember. We'll put the details in the show notes if you want to have a look at it. And also, the parenthood was also an organisation that was helping out in Canberra.

They have a petition to increase paid parental leave. If you want to get behind it, you can sign it. And again, that'll be in the show notes. We have a goal. What do you reckon we try and, what are that now? They're at 1125. Their goal was 1,000, so they've already smashed that. Should we try and aim for, like, we?

50,000. We would love the Dota's to really get behind this. And let's go for like 2.5,000. No, is that too much? No. Okay. 3,000. And I would consider the signing of a petition from a Dota a personal favour.

Yes. Now think about that. A personal favour. And I will relinquish you from the task of giving a review or subscribing in favour of... What are you doing? I don't know. Stop me. Just do it.

I'll give you the keys to my car. You can have it. It's yours. I'll give you the keys to one of Matt's houses. You could say that if Dota sign up, we will. do a 2027 calendar. We will. We will.

We will. If I'm honest, I've already given out a person. Don't promise too much. I've already offered personal favours, okay? And that's legit. You message me say, hey, it's my wife's birthday this week.

Can you send her a message? Favor, redeemed. Oh. Go and, oh, mate, I'll sit there. Careful. Fuck. Careful.

Fuck. Yeah. So go and sign the petition, please. There is so many good things. about this and I think like you said if we set the example for our kids now when we become grandparents and dads go we're expecting and I'm like okay how much time we're taking off he goes I'm taking my allocated time off of three months or whatever it might be in that situation do you know how happy I'm going to be as a grandfather I might even chip in and help

who are you. Anyway personal favours and dishing them out yeah how was your father's day it was good I well it was weird I will say because we spent a lot time to get which was just Great. It was actually really fun to spend all afternoon on Father's Day with another father. I agree. And also, can I just say, for the first time ever on the drive back from Canberra, you may be listened to Case File. Yeah. How did that go down? Not to promote another podcast. No, go on. He's a veteran of the game. But we listened to a story of how a mother had killed her husband.

Two husbands. Two husbands. And then tried to kill her daughter to cover up the murders. It was really lovely. It was a real lesson in parenthood. Wow. It made us feel a lot better about some of the mistakes that we've made. Yeah. Look, this was diabolical, this story. It was horrific.

We in a couple of days. I landed at 6 a.m. A real mix of emotions, if you will. Yeah, I landed at 6am after being awake for like 48 hours. 6 a.m. Sydney Airport to get home to see my kids on Father's Day. And I would say the amount of artwork and stuff that these kids made for me was, what's the biggest piece of power? paper they make.

Like, one that you roll out on the ground. How big is that? Vicks got the answer. Like A3? No, I have a life size, drawing size of both of my kids.

Wow. I fucking forgot to bring it in. It's huge. It's huge. Like butcher's paper? It's not, it's like proper thick paper. Was it good?

Popper's partner bar works at Office Works. Oh, what? Good stuff. Office Works is absolutely fucking great. Yeah. I get my birthday presents now from Office Works. They do like bead kits.

Just such a dad. Like, they do fucking. race at beating kids at office works. What for? That's, I don't know. They do everything. Yeah, you can spend hours in there just

bruising the aisle. Do you give a discount? Oh yeah. What? What? Like, what do you do, man? Help me out. I don't want to give you too much of a good thing.

So I'm going to ration out the discounts, okay? This is the tip of the iceberg on the discount. You get discounts at J.B. Hi-Fi. You get discounts. Do you have my dick off sucked? No. Yeah, I can get your discount.

But anyway, but April made me a photo book. Well, the kids did. But it was really great. It just had a lot of core memories in there of me and the kids and a lot of really nice words about me, which I don't often get to tell myself. So it was great. It was good.

You're forgetting something. I am forgetting something. You had a little teary when you went through the book. I did cry. I'd been awake for 36 hours. No, you're a big softy now. I had a 30 minute nap before I read it. But yeah.

Sometimes when you're. crying in front of the kids, they're like, why does he hate it? Yeah, no. I was like reading it. Like the kids were sort of in and out while I was going through it. So they understood that it was emotional. So sometimes if I watch a video and the kids are like, they start crying because I'm crying. It's just a really weird mix of emotion.

You're like, I'm watching Alex Johnson. This is. Please. These are happy tears. Happy tears. I know. I know. I know.

Before we move on, I do have one last quick surprise. So I know I had a little surprise. to Father's Day with your kids. There's a part two. Speaking of your kids' drawings, you guys have a little gift each from your children. No, she's good, this one. Very good.

This is for Matt. Ah. Ooh. Okay. Oh, more marks. Ah, these are great. Oh, sick. This is why I think us kids

need more holidays. Mine's a family drawing. This is Lowell's. Is that a specific? Speech? No, can I have a look? That's beautiful. This is the speech that you did. That you were training her for.

Yeah. This is why I think as kids, we need more holidays. Us kids. Not sorry. Sorry. Get it right. He's got notes. Yeah. Yeah, I feel sorry for a while.

Us, we. Dance, monkey. This is why I think us kids, not correct English, just saying, I wouldn't even know, Need more holidays. They definitely don't. I think they could get more than enough. Learning is hard work.

Us kids should be having more fun. Facts. So I can see my grandpa on his island. Love that. Very good. I'm going to put that with my. Mine's a family photo that's been drawn by Macy for sure. So your kids drew these of you guys together.

Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Yes. Thank you, V. But that takes a little bit longer to do, which is why it's after. Father's Day. You've outdone yourself. Thank you very much. Thank you very much.

But how did you go? Other than obviously spending the afternoon with yours, truly, how was the, how was the morning? It was a very special Father's Day this year. I'm sure if you've seen the news. I've seen the news or not like you listen to you talk about it for what we get. Can I just defend myself for a second? I shouldn't say that because you don't, you shouldn't have to defend yourself because it's a well-deserved award and I've told you that many times. I've tried to be very reserved. I've not tried to bring it up. So other people have brought it up and it's very awkward for me. Didn't seem awkward. Dan said he messaged you.

He did? I messaged Dan at like 6 a.m. He was my first message. I mentioned him before I messaged my dad. Did you? I opened up to message to message my dad and there was like an unread message from like three weeks ago from Dan. And I was like, oh God. I was like, oh shit, sorry Dan.

I love you too. Also, happy father. And then he responded with a really nice message. I felt like this year I went around to my friends who had kids this year, like I said, their first father's date to make it a point to say happy father's date. Don't remember getting my message from you. Oh bro, you got a message pretty early. You got a phone call.

I've did all. I've done. I've done. Do you know why? Because you've got my text messages on mute. What about this, Vick? Here we go. Here we go.

Is that why he never respond? Open your phone. Open it. Yeah. There we go. Don't unmute me. No, you're not a mute. Well, is what who's on, because he said to me on the phone.

He was like, hey, now that your dad of the year, well deserved. So, yeah. It's hard to get hold of it. For anyone who's wondering where this conversation is going. 2026 Australian Father of the Year. Yes. And like I will say, yours truly. Congratulations.

It's well earned. You do a lot of, not just with your kids, but other kids such as the Starlight Foundation. And also you help to guide the parents of this nation. So it's well deserved. However, it's, it's a, it's a, it takes a village. I know.

And you're chief of that village. I'm assistant to the dad of the year. So thank you for your help. I've got a plaque. If it wasn't, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here receiving that award now. Respond of my text messages.

For some reason, Ash's message is am muted by my phone. It's a mystery. Accidentally admitted it. And I was like, oh, it's heartbroken. I would be as well. No, I get it. I'm annoying. It was a special occasion to receive that award.

It was on Friday the other week. And so we went to Admiralty House. And for those people who may not know what Admiralty House is, that was going to be my question. It's hard to say. it is next to Kiribili. So Kiribili being the house where the prime minister is. Admiralty House is right next door.

I actually thought I was at at Kiribili. And they were like, oh my God, you idiot. This is Admiralty House. We've been to Kiribili House, so we don't need to go again. It's the same. It's the same same. Have you? Same law.

Yeah, when Matt was there to play cricket with Fitsy Whipper. I fell down the hill. And the award was presented by the Governor General, who is the connection to the king and queen. Yeah, I don't understand royalty. So she could essentially fire the Prime Minister. Do it. And she lives there at that house.

So do you have links to royalty now? Is that what you're saying? I didn't want to bring it up. I'm going to call King Charles. Let me just call them. Okay. Call King. Prince Andrew, get him on the phone.

But the thing about these award presentations is that, look, they are quite, they're quite long. And it's also very formal. They do string things out tonight. And there were no children there. I did obviously bring my children. I brought Marley and Lola. It was right over Poppy's nap time and she's also been quite sick. Can I ask you a question?

Would you say this is the dad equivalent of a school? assembly. Yes. Okay. Yes. I'm completely understand what you're talking about now. And the governor general who's just lovely, her excellency. Does she go by your excellency? Yeah. Yeah. I said to her, that's a bit much. I was like, you would love to get known by that. No, I wouldn't. Yes, I would. I said to her, I was like, what do I call you? And she was like, ah, don't worry about it. She was so chill. G, literally. And she was like, I was like, can I call it? Can I call it the excellency? And she was like, if you want. And I was like, I'm kind of into it. What does your husband call you?

But she talked for a long time and Marley and Lola as we were sitting there waiting for the award to be presented they were like, ugh. What is just hurry out. They're like,

come on. Kids are ruthless day. Wrap it up, lady. I know. They just don't understand. And there are a number of awards to be presented and I was luckily the first one.

And then after that, my kids are like, see you! Like just got up and left out to the croquet lawn. Fair. It's hard for some adults, like, such as me, to sit still for that long, let alone, a seven and a five-year-old.

And then my kids were just running wild, and I was like, gentle parenting, gentle parenting. I don't want to, like, with my award, be like, sit the fuck down. Hit him with it. But they were like, we'd love to just get a quick photo. And Lola was just like, you know what you can do with your photo? You can shove it up your fucking ass. I was like, come on Lola, just a quick little photo.

You can sit on my lap. And she was like, no. What was a unique character? She just doesn't, you know, she doesn't want to do something. The other day at the zoo, she was like this. She was like, so I'm pointing to a bracelet that Macy gave me. She was like, so where'd you get that? I was like, oh, Macy gave her to me, he was like, well, I want it.

Yeah, she's like, what's mine? She's like, listen, this could go one of two ways. I was like, Matt, get her away from me. So she didn't want a photo, which is fine. And then. But there was heaps of nice family photos from you guys. Yeah, we managed to like squeeze it in there. And then, because there was, you know, a few different photo opportunities

and, like, you know what, bloody photographers are like, actually, can we do that one? How dare you? Oh, sorry, sorry. Just for those lists, there's Vigs the photographer. You know, there's bloody photography. You know, like, like, oh, it's up to no good. To be fair, though, we will always be like, just one more. Yeah.

Yeah, thank you. How many times are they just one more is at Canberry yesterday? Thank you. But then afterwards, like the kids, it was like in three hours, and then by then they were very much ready to pack up and go home. And then the governor general was like, before you go, I have something very special for you, young ladies. And we were like, oh, okay. What has she got here?

And she reaches into her purse and she pulls out these coins, quite large coins. And a lot of weight to these coins. And they're in a beautiful little case. And these are coins which can only be given by the governor general. Are they like a five dollar coin? I don't know. They're like a novelty. I remember those.

Remember in school? Like there was these novelty coin things. I'm like, what's that? But now I'm like, so she goes to Lola and Mali, here you are. And they're like, here's that. You got any chocolate? Is there chocolate in there? Yeah, is there chocolate in there.

And she's like, what else you got? He's like, well, uh, that's, um. What's this one? I like your bracelet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where do you get that from? Patner down. Would this help buy Ash's bracelet?

She's like, in a handbag? Like, I'm taking this. Amex card. She's got like, what do you? I thought you were going to say they got a, you know, the new blueie coins that are. out. What?

Well, apparently I've heard that these coins in a little while, a few years, I'll be worth something. Yeah. But my kids are like, thanks for nothing, love. Put them in the safe. Thanks for having us. See you later. You said at the canteen.

And I was like, to her excellency, I was like, thank you so much. So kind of you. Where's my coins? I really approve. I get them all? Does it have a dollar value on it? Or it's just like a just a random coin? It's a very good question.

Very good question. I did check. There is no, like, I don't think it's, there's no like sign of currency on the coin. And it's just like a, it has like a wattle. You're probably better off giving the kids a chocolate coin. They typically sell for $10 to $150 aUD. You're profited off this. There you go.

Depending on their composition age and whether they are precious metal or base metal. That's a vast price difference. I know. You hate to be like, I've got one of these expensive ones and then someone's like, nope. That was a shit year. Sorry. So yeah, it was nice. Nice to have the award.

Nice to get a tap on the shoulder and get some recognition as much as it. is very self-indulgent. It's awkward. It's not. You're a good dad. Just take it. So yeah. So it's been great with that to then also have a platform to talk about parenting and how,

you know, dad. It's been a big parenting week. It's been a big parenting week for us. Like obviously I knew about this a while ago and then I forgot. And then it's come back around again. And I was seeing all the things you do. I was like, man, that's a lot of stuff. But just be careful.

We don't want to give advice. So remember that. Oh, yeah. Suggestions. Actually, it's within the podcast. is no advice. Externally, do whatever you like.

It's like a free-for-all. I'm just making up advice. People are like carrying something like, oh, you should carry that. Vic, I've got to tell you, when we did just quickly on Canberra, so they said, do you have time to do a really quick interview

with the Today Show on Channel 9? And we were like, absolutely. We'd love to support it. I said, good, here are some questions just about your personal experience. I forgot about that. So we stand there. We get given an earpiece

so you can hear what the host is saying in the studio. Some of us could hear it. And it's like, they go do a little sound test and it's like, oh, gosh, it's really tricky. Ash's earpiece was one that was falling out as well. It was like a Bluetooth line. It was a funny one.

And they asked me a question of like, Matt, is parenting important to you? And I was like, yes, it is. It is really important. And then. Give it a award. Give it on. They go, Ash, question for you. In the current economic state right now, how can parents justify with a presence of

of cost of living, looking at their minimum wage being only $1,000 per week, how can parents justify taking that time away from work, which is imperative to keep going with how much they're earning? It actually sounded longer than that, that question. It did. I was listening and I was like, oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh. Yeah, wrong guy. Wrong one, David, stop it. I was also like, did they brief those guys on this? And it wasn't, that question was. That wasn't brief to me. That was like, rogue. Producer chucked it in last minute. Literally, that was a I've got a bone to pick with DC. Ash, is there a pressure

on the dad? So they still feel that pressure to provide for the family? Because, you know, if they were to take this leave, it's at minimum wage. So the family budget then suffers. Yeah, I understand what you're saying, and I don't think that I think we should probably spend more time

with your kids. You won't regret that based off, I mean, minimum wage. I think the bond you'll build with your kids over that first 12 months is, I mean, it's priceless, really. Can I just say you handled yourself very? well and you tied it into money beautifully. I said to Matt, I said all I had, all I could think of when he started talking about money was Mastercard.

And I was like, Christless. Don't say MasterCard. No, I was like, priceless. Priceless. No matter what you say now, Ash, finish on that it's priceless. And I think I said the bonds that you build with your kids, they're priceless. They're irreplaceable. And everyone's like, yeah.

And then they go, Matt, next question. Question for you. Two plus two. How many children do you have? But I was like three. They're like, great, go, go, go, good, great. Can you name them all correctly? And what was my next?

I've had another one too. But we literally got off air. You got the curly ones. And both you and Georgie Dan looked at me and went, oh. Even I did watching at home. I was like, oh God. As you were circling trying to find the like connection to prices. I was like, please, please, please.

He's got this. Mindful, the day before I slept 30 minutes. Okay. 30 minutes and then I went I fell asleep during the Grand Prix at midnight the night before slept through my alarm got ready in 10 minutes I was so frazzled rode a push bike all the way there to then be asked a question about the cost of living brilliant brilliant I was like no when he was the thing is the question kept going it was long and I was like we didn't what yeah and I was just like mastercard mastercard mastercard must god mastercard must god

Anyway. But well handled. This one is actually more so for Vic. What's that? Maybe for you, Ash. You probably couldn't think of anything worse than this. So I'm now a running coach. Oh, yeah.

I'm a running coach. And Ash, if you would like to run with me. Vic. Mental health run. Mental health run. Stick to walking, thanks. Vic, if you would like, I know you've spoken about running. You can do it with, it's with kick, which is keep it cleaner.

three, five or ten kilometers. There's like a challenge for a number of weeks. I'm week three. Okay. And there's a different coach for each week. So Luke Bateman, who's got a very sexy voice. I was, I mean, I had like a sample listen to some of his words of encouragement. And it's like, wow.

It's like, run. Yeah, it's seductive. Whereas I'm like, you can do it. Yeah. Week three. The dad cheer. Yeah, it looks like, run for daddy. Run fast.

And they're like, this is the best. First week ever. And then I come in and I'm like, Who's ready? I had to record all the lines here one time and the poor office next door. I was just like, woo-woo, like the hype guy. I've soundproofed events now, so you could do it now. Sorry, sorry to our neighbours here in the studio.

But Vic, if you want to do it. Yeah, I need some motivation. You can sign up, use the code. I'm a bit upset that I didn't get the call up for this. Use the code. Maddie J. Sorry. I'd be like,

one foot in front of the other. That's too much too. That's Luke Bateman. You guys are too similar. Oh, that's what I thought. Yeah. You might neg them. Yeah.

Mean. Don't do it. They plug it in and Ashes like, sit back down. So the thing is, yeah, the thing is about sim racing is the more you do, I can be a sim race coach. That's pretty good. I'm all for it. I'll back you. Thank you.

I'll back if anyone's listening. Vic, if you want to sign up for free, you can use the code Maddie J. It gets your free 30 days on the app. And then you can run with me. Yeah. Look, I'm probably not going to do it. But I hear your voice enough. Exactly.

That's good enough. Exactly. And if the listeners are like, we've had enough of you. It's better than hearing one of those American voices or AI voices, though. That's just rude. Those poor AI voices. I do.

I had the Nike running one and now are like, you're doing great. When I hear that, I'm like, oh, thank you. I know, I do like the encouragement. Your running is beautiful. That would be good. Thank you. I did the couch to 5Ks app, and I must have chosen the wrong one, because that jumped me straight to week three, then week five, then week seven.

By the third run, I was running five K's nonstop. It was like, get off the couch, run 5Ks, done. And then I injured myself, so then I had to stop. That's right, because you were, yeah. I was like, fuck sake. I remember. You were like, hey, gosh, I started running. And then like a week later, you were like, I haven't heard anything wins.

Vic, I would never do that to you as running coach. I would ease you into it. Yeah, it would be like, yeah. Gently. Get up. Just keep running. I'm a gentle coach. I bet you are big guy.

Moving on. Gentle lover, gentle coach. Gentle by name. Matt, you know us. You know us. Yeah, I do. I do very well. We do like a weird name.

Or not weird. The wrong. Obscure. Unique. Unique. Thank you. Sure. Very good recovery.

We have a daughter who's written in because obviously we had Jerica. Yes. Which some of my think it should be Jessica, but you'd be wrong, it's Jerica. We had someone reached out, and she says, my funny name is savria. I probably got that wrong. And I tell people it rhymes with malaria.

Oh, so saveria. Severia. Severe. Sounds a bit severe. Severe. I wonder, there's a dad joke there somewhere. Okay, get it? It's their own funnier.

You can get it. Pluck it. Jump. It'll come to me. That's how to pronounce it. Always gets a laugh or a funny look. Severia. Severea.

That is, yeah, imagine if you met someone, you're like, and what was your name again, sorry? Severia. I mean, if you've got a name that is as unique as Severia, please, spelling for Severia, please. S-A-V-E-R-I-A. That is beautiful. That is beautiful.

There's a dad joke there somewhere, and before the end of the episode, I will have it. Let it marinate. Before the end of A episode. Ash, it is time for this. Now you need a... more than ever know that we still have each other

You can send us your doading dilemma You can send us your doding dilemma Ella Yeah Speaking of funny names Here's one from a doda for a dilemma Meshline Meshline

Come on now Meshline Where does that come from? Meshline Meshline Meshline Meshline Don't take my man Just because you can Meshline

Meshline. That is, I've Are these real? Mimi is her nickname, or Mimi, from Maryland. What a beautiful part of the world. I knew you'd like that. The asbestos houses are rampant. No, there's one left and it's my nans. The rest of them are just, man, what's the deal with them?

What's the deal? No, okay, I won't even get into that because I'll be here. We're doing the dilemma, Ash, don't get distracted. My son and I went to the local park, and I've taught him not to go up to slide the wrong way and to wait until the person at the bottom move so he doesn't hurt them, fair. Another parent was ignoring her daughter doing the wrong thing, climbing up the slide and taking repeated turns. For context, my son is three and she was older, maybe four or five. This girl did it multiple time.

Fuck the frustration. The parent never got off her phone to stop her daughter. I wanted to go off at both mum and daughter and said, I yelled at my son loud enough for everyone to hear. I know you're waiting because someone else is doing the wrong thing. Just wait your turn. What would you do? Mimi from Maryland. Look, I think one thing that doesn't get enough attention these days

is the rules of the playgrounds. There's etiquettes. There's certain etiquette. And a lot of the etiquette is ignored, which for those of us who are abiding by the rules, it's extremely frustrating, Ash. Oh, yeah. And look, can I just say the slide is like a one-way street?

Yep. You go one way down it. Except... I disagree. Oh, like... Well, hang on. Hang on one second. One second.

Whoa, whoa. I think the only time you're allowed to go back. up the slide and go against the grain is when there's no one there. Then it's great game. As soon as one other person starts using that slide, the rules are absolutely enforced and it's one way only. Let me ask you a question. Please.

What's it called? It's called a what? A slide. Okay. It's called a slide, right? I believe it is. Because you slide down it. Or a slippery dip.

Yeah. Slide. I'm sticking with slide. You slide down it. You don't slide up it. It's not a ladder. It's not an upperid dick. It's not an up.

Upry dick. It's not an upri dip. It's not an upbri dip. I know what I said. It's not a reverse slide. All right, Mr. Rules. Okay. Well, we're talking about your kids missing out.

The safety of children of this country. I wasn't thinking about safety, but I will. What about when you see, you know, the round ones and you see old mate climbing along the top of it? Go hard. Go hard on that. Whenever I'm at McDonald's and the kids are on top of the online, here we go. Yeah.

Going to see some action here. Someone always falls. I will say the response, it's a tricky one because obviously the other parent is on the phone, not really noticing what's going on. I think what she's done is maybe fine, just by saying, hey, you just wait, by pointing it out and saying, hey, you stay there and wait your turn.

Eventually you'll get your turn. Obviously, it didn't work. I'm also not opposed to telling off another kid, not like in a rude way. I love it. Or, you know, sometimes you've got a, like we were at the park and Poppy, we were like carrying to the top of the slide,

then like holding it as you like, take it. down and then there was another mum that who was a very attentive mom but there was just a split second where their kid crulled across like a toddler got to the top of the slide and I was like this kid if he goes down the slide is going to like yeah hurt himself so I was kind of like like stay back hold right there don't move yeah I think like there's a big difference between having a crack at a kid and then being a parent in a situation but you can also you can also I think tell a kid if they're pushing in oh absolutely be like politely say listen here fuck wit yeah

wait your turn you fucking sit back down and those are exact words as well. Sorry, that you're like, that's a fucker? Would you ever have a crack at the parent? Yeah, look, I'm, I'll have a We know you would. Again, I'll do it in the shower at home

later. I'll think about what I should have said. Can I add another rule to the park, if I may? Yeah. I think when there are people waiting to use the swing, it's a limit of 20 pushes. Yeah, I wouldn't put a number on it. I would. I would say, look,

because when there's a cue, come on, man. If you're letting a queue up to get to a cue point, that's too long. That's too long. But I think when there's like a couple of people waiting, like 20, 20 pushes, great. They move on, move on next. You've had your fun. Yeah, I think it's like, we're going to keep things moving.

It's not excessive. We've got to funnel through the people. Everyone needs to turn. There's a lot of grey areas in parks, I think. But going up the slide when there's more than one person at the same time, as the parent of the person kid going up, I think the least you could do is say, hey, don't mind you climbing up it. But if someone's having to go, you need to let them go.

She said here, I know you are waiting because someone else is doing the wrong thing. Just wait your turn. I think like saying that loud is, I think the other parent should have picked up. Also, when your slide time has come to an end, fuck off. Yeah. Don't sit at the bottom. Don't just sit there. I got under the rule as well.

But if there's no other kids, it's free for all. Yeah. Like those swings when someone's like, you know, at full speed going back and forth, the amount of kids who like moths to a flame Walk straight through. Yeah, they got, it's a death wish. When I lived in D.Y and Oscar was really little, we were all met some friends there or whatever.

But I was watching this kid. He would have been about four or five on the swing at a decent height. The parent was, was a tentative. And then, like, for a split second, like, someone's distracted him. And another kid's walked in front. And it went into slow-mo for me. The hit? It was a perfect kick to the head.

Oh. And it was like, I'm talking that would do like a flip and hit the ground. It was like, and you're going, really? Yes. I was just like, wish I was filming that. But it's like, it happens so often. I reckon I see that near miss almost every day. Oh no, no, the amount of near misses.

And these kids are just oblivious going. I know, I saw her dad the other day. And the parents are like, hmm. I saw a dad the other day save a kid, not his kid. Save a kid at the last second. And I was at the other end of the park. You're here. You know what it's all about.

We look up to people like you. But park. etiquette, it's murky. I think when you're preparing for a child and you go and do like birthing classes, I think we should include in that like an etiquette class for parks. Park edict. And also, as well, if you're starting the etiquette early on in the park, it will move into further parts of their life as they get older.

We should have included this discussion in Canberra. Damn it. Let's go back. Bikes are out the front. Question for you both though. She said he's three and the other girl was four or five. Like at what age would you let the kids play it out, like figure it out in kid court? Oh, I think if it's very obvious that, think of it as a game of chicken, right?

It's very obvious. No one's back and down at that point. You need to go, hey, what about taking turns? There it is. I've got a name for the political party for parks. Go on? The parents against park etiquette. No for park etiquette.

Yeah. Damn it. You close. Well, one of us could run on either side. It goes a good try. A caucus, if you will. A corcus. For those of you who don't know what a caucus is,

it's actually a group of MPs working together. Or a group of whales. It's a group of killer whales who are hunting the same prey. What is that called? A caucus. Is it really a caucus? No, it's not. The orcas in the caucus.

That should be a book. Write that down. Where's the whiteboard? Okay, this is from Daniela. My husband works full time and has a one hour commute each way. That is horrific. That sounds like good quality time to yourself. You reckon?

Most, I would. would say that's incorrect. No, you are vastly incorrect. Most families are doing an hour to the city. Yeah. Well, I mean, if you're on the Northern beaches, that's an hour. Most families are the northern beaches. Ugh. Okay. How long, how long? It sometimes takes an hour with the traffic. Whoa, Bellevue Hill, bro. How long does it take you to get up? How long do you think it would take you to get up Bellevue Hill in peak hour to go to work? 20 minutes. Liar. Dan used to, we lived in Bondi. It used to take him an hour to get back to. It's a flat Guys, this is about Daniela, okay?

Not you Northern Beach's families. No offense. You got no leg to stand on with traffic, bro. So Daniela, I care about you just so you know. If you're listening. You've spent too much time with politicians. You've avoided this and just gone straight back to what you were saying. So the husband has a one hour commute.

When he gets home, he helps around the house. But his big thing is trying to spend one-on-one time with each of our boys who are six and ten. What a good guy. Great guy. Great dad. My husband is becoming an kid. increasingly tired and irritable and says he feels like he gets zero time for himself. I keep telling him, you're allowed to tell the kids no.

They might get upset. That doesn't mean you're a bad dad because you didn't play with him one-on-one every bloody night. But he's a people-pleaser. Well, this is tricky. And I think part of it is that saying yes feels easier than dealing with the kids' disappointment or emotional reaction. Then he gets overwhelmed when they don't listen or things don't go how he expected

and sometimes ends up yelling anyway. So my question is, do you ever feel guilty saying no to playing with your kids because you've worked all day and haven't seen them much? And how do you balance being an involved dad with having boundaries and actually having time for yourself? Oh, that is a tricky one, because I mean, one, you don't want to disappoint them. But at the same time, you can only go so long without essentially filling up your cup, your own cup. The thought that he's having already where he's like, I want to give them one on one time, that's so great. but is it realistic every day? Probably not.

So maybe like if for me, if I would just to, and I see what his wife's trying to do, trying to reduce his own expectations. Reduce his own expectations a little bit. Might give him a little bit of time to fill the cup up and that smaller time that you're giving them

is actually more productive. Can I use an analogy? Oh yeah. Ash? I think it's a bit like going to the gym. Okay. You have a personal trainer. Shut up.

I needed him. honestly motivation at an all-time love but i think it's all well and good to want to go to the gym every day but if you're exhausted and you have no energy and you go to the gym and you're doing a half-ass workout and it's crap i think it's better to have a couple of rest days to make sure you got more energy to give a workout the attention and love that it needs that's a decent analogy i will say you hit that one pretty good because you're right like you can't give 100% of yourself to everyone all the time without it impacting you. You know what I mean?

Like I think like at some point, if you let it fester, let it fester, the reaction is going to be way more memorable to the kids than it is. If you would just say, hey, I'm really tired right now. I want to play with you and I will do every day,

every day of my life. But right now I need some time for me. But it's tricky as well because when you get into, I don't know what it's like with your family and Vic yours as well. But when I start, well, once we get. into that routine of, okay, now we're sitting down, we're having dinner.

Once that's finished, you've got to keep the momentum going because it's in the bath. After the bath, get a pajamas on, then we're up in the bedroom, then we read the books. Once you lose any momentum across those multiple steps, it makes life so much harder. And so when you want to try and pepper into that, a bit of play time, it's so hard, especially for mom who's like, I've been dealing with these kids all day. Yeah, get them away from me. Literally. Maybe, like I said, reducing the expectation of the play.

Like, for example, there's days where I just don't have time. to give that much attention to my kids at the end of the day because of X, Y and Z. There's always, like you said, you've got to keep them in the routine as well, do that sort of stuff. But I find that like even last night, I was tucking Macy in that little split second. It doesn't have to be this big play to let them know what you think about it, them and the situation, maybe just like a nice little moment that's not going to take up too much energy and say it might be no to playing now, but just say,

I heard what you did today. I'm so proud of you. that was amazing and whatever. And then that little moment could probably serve the same amount of serotonin or whatever that produces as an hour play. And the effort is nowhere near and you can recharge. Yeah, I love that. I would also suggest like something that you can do at dinner as the whole family.

So if you're eating together, Hilo Buffalo. Hilo Buffalo is a good one. It's a great way for people to feel like they've had their say and felt heard and seen. And for anyone who doesn't know what that is, there are some cards that are made by Jen Muir and it's literally, I mean, we play sometimes without the cards and it's just everyone goes around in a circle, what was your best thing, the worst thing and Buffalo was like the surprise thing that happened during the day. Yeah, and sometimes at my house, when we're feeling, feeling a bit funny.

Yeah. We just played Buffalo. We just get the Buffalo cards out because a lot of them are silly. A lot of them are silly, right? And it's like, okay, well, look, we've all had a pretty good day. We've had some whatever. And maybe it's like, okay, well, we do highlight. every day.

You want to keep the kids on their toes. You just hit the buffalo. Actually, and you know what you do as well? Uno. Is you do the Uno game. Oh, yeah.

And that's like a great low impact game with the kids where they're not getting too worked up unless they lose. Well, this is the thing, right? I've used Uno as so much learning for the kids. Like, for example, last night, April was, she started playing touch football. So she wasn't there.

Actually. We'll talk about that on Wednesday. Yep. And I'd been, it had been away. So I hadn't played with them for a full week. And I was like, hey,

did you play with Nanny and poppy and like yeah yeah how do you go and obviously the kids winning and whatever anyway I sat down I said okay it's been a week since we've all played together we play three games of three like I've said before and there is a ladder because there has to be a ladder for everything with Oscar and I was like but remember that there's no such thing as the perfect game because it's obviously a game of chance in some aspect as well I'm like okay it's about working on your game and and progressing on your game concentrate on that and then I was like there's no losers there's no lost games only learning okay and he was like oh okay I like that right and it was like

They absolutely wiped the floor with me last night. And it was like, okay, great. What's that Ian Popping teaching you? I know. I have found some of the most impactful parts of my parenting have been in those moments. Has come from Uno. Because it goes from Uno and then we go, all right, everyone into bed. We'll come in. We come in.

They get to read and stuff. And I'll go in and I'll have a chat with both of them separately. And actually we should add in the pack of Uno cards into the birth pack that you get at hospital. With Hylo Buffalo. With Hylo Buffalo. Just to mix it up. park etiquette rules. And the park etiquette rules.

There's just so much work to be done. That's a handbook. So many improvements that we need to work on. They're all just flash cards. Pretty much. But I would highly encourage anyone to adapt a really short games of Uno before you go to bed. You know, Ash has actually recently bought shares in Uno. It's going to say, can they sponsor the pod?

Please. Our cards have had it. Macy keeps chewing on the corner of them. It's funny, we know who's got what card. Based on the two marks? Yeah, there's like a two mark. There's like a yellow. One, fuck a draw four's coming.

But I, yeah, I would say a lot of, and I've learned a lot about parenting doing it every night. Like, Oona, that is. But that's true. Tell you right now, this is how you're going to impress your wife. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Game at Uno with the kids.

And if there's any sort of problem that needs to be resolved and resolved as a sports coach with the kids, you look amazing. Just saying. So for example. That's so true, actually. What's that? When Dan's really good with the kids, it's sexy. That's a turn-off. Oh, yeah.

The other day, Oprah, Oscar lost three games in a row. April was like, I can't, he's not listening to me. And I walked in there and I said, okay, do you know what would have happened today if Manley had lost? And he said, what? I said, they would have lost six in a row. He said, yeah, I said, but do you know what they did? They showed up and they won against the top team. What does that tell you?

I don't know. They just kept getting back up. So you can't sit here in Seoul because you need to get back up again tomorrow and get to the top of the leaderboard. Anyway, he came out of the room, ran in gave him. I'm a big cuddle, went back to bed and I was like, what the fuck did you do? And I was like, you just need to pick the right motivation. I got a little bit lost in the middle there.

But what I'm saying is it sexy. Thank you. We answered that question? We did. Kind of. We always kind of answer question. Daniela. I don't want to, I don't be a concrete answer because then they'll hold us to it.

The main thing is you can't parent from an empty cup. There she is. That's why I. That's it. And if you enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review, subscribe. A couple of comments either on Spotify on the individual episodes or or or overall comments on Apple Podcasts. I'll take both.

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Two Doting Dance podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respects to their elders, past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gatigal Land.