Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash - Best Of 2025: How Poppy Came To Be

Episode Date: January 13, 2026

Before we bring in 2026, we want to remind you of how great 2025 was!  Aw, remember when Poppy was just a twinkle in Dad's eye?  2025 Raunchy Ranch Calendar IS OUT NOW!  https://budgysmuggler.com.au/products/two-doting-dads-raunchy-ranch  Buy our book, which is now available in-store! https://www.penguin.com.au/books/two-doting-dads-9781761346552  If you need a shoulder to cry on:  Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome back to two-doting dads. I'm Maddie J. And I'm Ash. And this is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good. It is the bad. And the relatable. And we don't give advice. But right now, Ash, we live in the good life. Oh yeah. This cocktail is amazing. It is delicious. We are currently in the Bahamas with our feet up. Just ashen myself. We've escaped to kids. Imagine that. Oh, my God. We're never going home. We are on holidays. So we've given you guys. a best of delight. In this episode, Ash, do you remember pissing on my toilet? Look, there's no evidence

that it was me doing that. The amount of piss. Laura comes home and just always like, what's that smells? It's not me! Has Ash been here? I was on... I'm a celebrity.

You're announced that. And then, because of that, I got to do this podcast with your beautiful wife for a few weeks. And we talk so much shit about you. This is a bit of a, I'm a celeb,

a hero episode, because then we talk about what it was like when I came back from the jungle. We also talked about that I said, don't have a third kid, and then in this very same episode, you reveal that you have a kid coming on the way.

One of our most downloaded episodes was off the back of a little mistake. That was accidental. We revealed Brits wedding in Bali. It's the equivalent to a nip slip. We took it out of that episode. as quickly as we could and we put it back in here in this episode

for you to reminisce on and Britt, if you're listening, probably not, but apologies. So enjoy. And we also talk about how could I forget the birth of dearest little poppy pearl Johnson.

My favourite child. Shall we get into it? Let's get into it. And then there's order another cocktail. Oh yes, please. You've just done something. I've done something. which I was going to bring this up in private

but then I thought we are running late. Go on. I need to record this episode. Of course. What better time than now? There's no better time. You've pissed on the floor. I didn't?

You did? I definitely did not. Yes. You're a floor pisser. I did not. I have great control. No, you went to the toilet. How do you know I don't sit?

I don't know how you do it, but you've managed to get wee-wees on the floor. I didn't. I stand by. One of us, producer Jess, went to the bathroom, came out and said, him over there has pissed on the floor.

How fucking dear, I did not. I did not. I sit when I weigh. Yep. I must have a boner or something. I don't know what you're doing in that. Guilty. Yes, dear.

I was born, ready, my guy. What have you got for me? What am I looking at? What's with the shoes? Are they boots? They're a lollipop man. You're a lollipop man. Is that a high piece?

Ash, I'm going to just break the news to you. Quick and fast. That's the way I like it. Laura's pregnant. Is Laura pregnant? No. Oh. Thank God.

I'm going on a show called I'm a... You are not. Shut your fucking mouth right now. It's called I'm a celebrity. Get me out of here. Wow. This guy is going to be on it. Just wait.

Do you hear that voice? Yes. You might be wondering. It is God. I knew God was a woman. It's Jess Morley here, the two-doting dad's producer, Maddie, you are off to the jungle. And one of the best things to come out of the jungle is the challenge around the food. Oh, God.

Now, it's not just ordinary food. It's usually disgusting. Disgusting. I do feel sorry for you. I thought it was a good idea to sort of get you warmed up for it. You've got two plates there. I have two plates here. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I'm not going to the jungle. Let's do it. I'm pumped. I have two plates. Now, Ash. Yeah. I thought it would be fun to also join him, just so he's not alone. I'm about to vomit already.

Can we opt out? Honestly. Bring it over, Jess. Bring it over. Here we go. Jess, our producer, has wound up her food eating challenge. And I don't like to look at it. She's walking around with it now.

Oh! She dropped it. And that works for me perfectly fine. She's rescued it. Is it alive? So, Jess, you've given us... Like a dinosaur egg. I can't.

This is called a century egg. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's all on the name, is it? I can't. All right, guys. I can't. Is it boiled or something? You're supposed to take off the shell and then go for it.

I can't. I can't. I can't do it. I can't. Come on, this is warm up. I can't. If you can't do this, Matt, you can't. I can't.

even look at it. Eat it, Ash. Have a bite. Have a bite. No. Have a bite. I can't. Bide it.

Bide it. Okay. It just smells so bad. What does it smell like? It smells like just bad feet. Bad feet of the, that's being decaying. I'm sweating. Ash always makes out as if he's like the tough guy,

but then you realize. that you can't eat a black egg. Go. I smell... It smells like an old pond. You know, like, come across like someone's got an old pond in the backyard. I can't.

Yeah. Like a marine... It's got a marine smell of it. See, the thing is with these eggs, you're not supposed to eat it the way that you're about to eat it. You're supposed to slice it up and put it into other things. Like into the bin. Take a bite.

Take a bite. I can't. I can't do it. I can't. Guys, both of you need. to go for it at the same time. I can't do it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. You have to do it. I don't have to do it.

As your producer. I have free will. Matt, don't. Don't. You don't even know what it tastes like. What if it tastes amazing? It's so salty. So Matt. I'm lost ass. I'm so sorry. I'm out. I'm out. You didn't even go for it.

Okay, so Matt's about to take his bike. Come on, man. If you can do this, you can do anything. I reckon you'll win. I'm a celebrity. Go. Fight and chew. Oh, fucking do it.

Go, go. This is a podcast all about parenting. It's the good, the bad and the... Relatable. Yeah. And if you came here for any advice, scram. I don't know how that...

Scram! Get out of here. This is week two of dealing without Matt, living without Matt. Sorry? Can I talk today? No. I do think that we have,

we are both doing a particularly good job of it because Matt also is a very important binding substance. Like semen? I don't know about you. You're fucking maniac. I think that Matt is the very important glue that keeps our family together. I just kind of,

Matt is the organiser of our household. He's the diary person. He's the calendar person. He books the appointments. He is the, literally the binding agent. He does all that for me. And I just waft through life and I feel a little bit scatterbrain at the moment without him and with him gone.

It's been really hard. How many days has it been? He's been gone since last Monday. So it's now been what, seven, eight, nine days. Wow. Nine days, but hear me out. I originally thought that it was going to be incredibly hard without him. And don't get me wrong.

I miss him heaps. I really do. I miss him so much. And I've enjoyed watching him. There's been some really like proud moments that I've had of him being on the show. so far. But what I underestimated is how much time a relationship actually takes. They're coming home from work and talking about your day to your partner or all the calls during the day. So I kind of originally when I thought, oh my God, I'm going to have to parent without Matt and then I'm going to

have to work and it's just all this stuff. I hadn't factored in how much free time I would have when I didn't have to have a relationship with him. So you started another business. I was like, I've never been so productive. I was like, actually, it's, it's more efficient. It's not as filled with love that it's definitely way more efficient. So what you find yourself of you get home? Well, yeah, I suppose you do, you two definitely text and stuff all day. I don't talk to April all day. I wouldn't know where she is. Matt calls me minimum eight times a day. Not, not for me. He, as in a back doesn't... You guys also, you guys also kiss in public. What's that about? We love each other. Oh, is that

what that is? Is that what that is? I had a question for you. Yeah. So Matt and I, I have been talking quite a bit about whether or not we want to have a third child. And I know he's talked about it on this podcast. Yes, yeah. But I don't know your opinion on it. I know. Every time it's mentioned, it just gets skipped over. Like I don't exist.

No, it is like you exist. Because when I talk to Britt about it, she's not thrilled. I'm not thrilled. Okay. It's really quite weird talking about wanting to have a third child and not having any of your closest friends happy about it. Oh, look, it. Thrilled and happy, very different.

Okay, right. I think happy about, happy for you, I would be. I sounded like Yoda then. Happy for you, I would be. But not thrilled. But not thrilled about it. Okay. Logistically already, I've got Matt and I both, like, run this podcast.

We both do a lot of parenting. Are you guys parents? Are we? I don't know. I forget. I'm just a best friend to my kids. We, You know, and logistically it's like drop-offs, pick up.

You know what it's like. It's like, oh, what am I trying to put? No. It's just an extra, you know, but I would be. Burden, one might call my third child. One would call you a third child, unborn, non-existent child, non-existent fetus. My hypothetical child is burden to both podcasts, but a joy to the world, one might say. It'll get forgotten about.

It will be. But like, you know, it's kind of, the kids will love it. Mali and Lola when you're doing. The kids don't love it. They'll walk it. They'll feed it. Just get another animal. It'll give them something to be responsible for.

Do you know why? I think it'd be a nightmare because you had got the cat and that was a, that was a nightmare. The cat has been great. The cat is, she's giving back now. Hey, speaking of substances. Good segue. Great segue, thank you. As you know, Austin goes to primary school, much just like Mali.

And primary schools, schools in general, they have a lot of, outside of school hour activities like he just went off the top of my head like pizza and puzzle night okay which is usually like father's day right um and i know that pizza and puzzle night yeah it's like it's like after hours right so it's like four o'clock sounds sexual it's pizza and penises pizza pizza pizza and dad's penis um yeah yeah Yeah, okay, let me get back on track. Now, a lot of these things are alcohol-free zones, as you can imagine. Because, what?

What? No, I just imagining you rocking up to pizza and puzzle night with a case of beer. Yeah, I thought it was pizza puzzle and pizza pizza pizza and piss. No, no, no. Very funny. I just, no, sorry. I know those ones. I should have laughed at you.

But you're like, you sound like annoyed and surprised by that. I try to take my meth pipe with me again. No, they're, but they also do events that are like parents only, like for fundraisers. Right. I'm not going to get through these, are I? Fucking hell. What are the parent-only ones? Let me come to those ones.

And throw your keys in the bowl down. What's that are like? Anyway, so the adult only nine Yeah Fucking hell Anyway We went to what they call A mingle

Fuck This story sounds terrible This sounds like a horrible This sounds like a horrible story Yeah, go on what happens at the mini Adult Only mingles No, this was a... Don't bring the kids.

This was a... There were kids... Oh, God, there were kids on this mingle. Actually, bring one kid. Anyway, all of these events are alcohol-free, and it begs the question, why, okay? Yeah. Outside of school hours, this parent mingle was for...

I can't... I can't... I can't... I can't look at you. Oh, look at the floor. Look at the floor. I questioned why there's no alcohol. And I found out that there used to be alcohol.

at these after school events, like the fundraising shit, the parents' nights or whatever. There used to be until trivia night last year, apparently all the parents got really lit. And they ended up finding alcohol, like bottles, around the school. What is wrong with people? I think it's really funny.

What was wrong with people? Come on, it's just for the kids. Well, they ruined it for all of us. Anyway, we went to the mingle. How drunk were they getting? Apparently they were lit. Like, leers. It was a fundraising trivia end of year.

And you talk about Western Sydney being bad. The northern beaches of Sydney. A bunch of piss heads. Yeah, yeah. We got nothing else to do. We sing piss at schools. At the school mingles. At the school mingles.

So we went to the kindi mingle, which was not run by the school, right? It's run by some volunteers and whatever. And it was like... The P&C? Whatever it might be. And I was like... It would be the P&C. It's a Friday after.

Whatever it may be. It's the PNC. It's a Friday afternoon. It's the PNC. Okay, whatever. The event was a... Why are you going to argue me on the PNC? I don't care about the PNC.

I've never heard of them. Every school has a PNC. The PNC organized a Kendi parent mingle. So you meet the other parents because obviously now we've been grouped into classes and now I'm forced to be friends with people I don't want to be friends with. Also, all the parents out there that go to my kids' school, I love you.

I have some friends that we all their kids go to the same school and I thought I don't want to go to an alcohol for a event on a Friday. So, I took a six-pack, but the difference is with the six-pack is I wrapped all the beers in a nappy, like a cooler.

No, then you just look like a fucking weirdo. I'll tell you, I've got to vote it. Then he's like a weirdo sniffing nappies. I don't sniff my beers, bro. I'd chug them. Yeah, but are you hiding a beer in a nappy? Yeah. Like, that looks weird.

Like, you better off just go to the toilet. No, that's way creepier, because then people think I'm doing some illicit drugs in there. You don't look any better. Walking around with like four nappies in your hand, a nappy guy. How dare you assume I only had four? And it's one of the dumbest things I have ever seen. Well, the jokes on you because I got away with it.

Oh, and we were in the cool corner. So people were coming over going, what's going on over here? I'm like, nappy beer? Can I make a suggestion? Yes. You're better off getting a Coke can and getting a tolly and pouring a tolly into the coat can. Too much work.

You just look weird that you're holding a dirty nappy. It's funny. That's part of the joke. But like... Don't question me. It worked. Sorry. It worked up until we were leaving and I had to empty the bag full of beer cans into the recycling bin, which is full of like... So what did you do with the napes? What did you do with the napes?

Oh, they're in there too. I'm taking a stand. God, April is a lucky lady. I'll just strap it to a child. I'll be like, let me have a soup. You found something that you shouldn't have. It's a photo. of our ultrasound because we're having a baby. But I kind of already knew.

From who? I tried to pour Laura a drink when you return from the jungle and that drink was denied. And I had a suspicion. I had suspicions. How? I also haven't seen Laura in a while. Also, yeah, that's probably about it.

And I know there's been talk about it. And I just knew. Also, someone might have spilled the beans. Who? Not telling you. Who? I'm not telling you. Tell me.

and I was like, do you want to go halves? And she was like, yeah, yeah, very tentative on something. And I looked over your mum and she was like, okay, idiot. Fuck, she's signaling. Like, don't do that. Yeah, yeah. Don't offer. She's so.

Don't because she was so. I was like, do you know what I did after that? I looked at her and I was like, come here. And she was like, she knew straight away that I was going to crack this safe immediately. and I was like, you better fucking tell me, you're right, what's going on?

What did she say? She's a terrible liar. And she was like, no, I can't. No, no. I can't tell you. That's exactly what she sounds like to. No, I could never.

I could never tell you. And I was like, what I'm going to do is I'm going to ask a question if you're going to nod your head. And I was like, is Laura pregnant? And she was like, yeah. I was wondering where she got those bruises from.

Sorry about that. And then I was like, I was like, I fucking, okay, all right, I know it. I know it now. And she was like, oh, hey, don't tell them. I told you. They beat me.

So congratulations, I already knew. But congratulations, this is going to ruin us financially. We were trying before I went into the jungle. Just in case you didn't come back or? Didn't you. The plan was, we said this year, 2025, if we are going to have a third, this will be the year that it happened. and because I'm conscious that

Marley and Lola are really close together they're about 18 months where now, like Lola's just turned four and I was like if it doesn't happen this year it's a big gap It's like accidental gap You know, people are like Oh, there must have been an accident

It's like, my dream is this It's a bit of double-edged sword And that great because Marley I guess the older she comes The older she turns The more capable she is As a second third parent The main parent

Which is great But then we're like we don't want, you know, with that third child to still be friends with Mali and Lola. And the third child always gets forgotten about. Right, they do, don't they? You're the third. Oh, yeah, like, you know, exactly. Look how I turned out.

But we said, we're going to try, and we can't even say, we're like, if it doesn't happen before the jungle, like, by the time I come back, it's going to be February, you know, and then, like, because, you know, for those who don't know, it takes nine months for a baby to grow in a woman's body. So then we're like, oh, then it's pushing in the 2000. And we're kind of like, don't know. Have a summer baby, like immediate, like, you know, like October.

It's still, it's close, but. So I said to Laura, if I make it to the end of the jungle, I was like, fucking tell me. Like, if you get, if you find out you're pregnant whilst I'm away, when you come on the show, like, tell me, right? So then, obviously she didn't tell me. And then I kind of didn't, it wasn't like front of mine, but we came back from the jungle.

And I was like, oh, I guess you're not pregnant? And she was like, nah, I was thinking about it. Probably, like, not the wisest thing for us to do, right? We're in a really good position right now. And I was like, yeah, do you know what? I was like, you're probably right. Like, what were we thinking trying to have a third? That's pretty crazy.

She goes, oh, someone gave me a scratchy. And actually, you scratch it. And I was like, oh, I'll have a little scratch. I don't want it. Scratchy, sure. So I'm scratching it And it was a really bad quality Scratchy

Like it was at a coin And as I was scratching off the top layer It would then take that first layer off And then when you went to reveal like What's printed underneath It was taking the print off as well Oh okay And I was like this scratch

This sucks I said it And it was like And it was one of those hard ones Where I was trying to figure it out Like it was like Match four of these icons And if you get two of this one

It means you get that one on the first right Which is underneath that one there Is that how you get pregnant. Do the scratchy. So I'm scratching and I'm like this is shit, throw it out and then she's like, keep on scratching

and then you scratch it! It was like 15 icons and then like a little tiny bottom right one it said you're having a baby and I was like, where's the money? And then I was like, I was very confused and also I was

in the mindset of like, do we want to have a third? Yeah, you're like talking yourself out of it. We were straddling. Both sides of the party. Nice. Now I've got visuals. In one hand, we were like, it'll be amazing to have three kids. You know, I grew up as one or five.

Imagine when we're older, having a house full of three children and their partner, it's beautiful. But then on the other hand, I'm like, we're kind of like out of the trenches now. Yeah, you, like you're talking now, I don't want to sound too. Please. You're talking now back to Bassinet. Back to Basinette. Back to no sleep. We don't use nappies in the house anymore.

We don't use the pramese. anymore? Yeah, my pram is covered in cobwebs. I looked at it the other day and it was looking, looking back at me like, yes, please, he's like, shut up. Yeah. Yeah, so when now I spoke to someone who has a newborn and I was like,

what's that like? Like, it sucks! I've forgotten. I've forgotten all those years of what it's like. I can't believe you having a third kid. I knew you would, I knew it was going to happen. I just did, I thought maybe. I did, I did try.

I try, I put forward the case to not bring the kids to Bali. Yeah, because you're going for a special occasion. Going for Brits wedding over in Bali. I think that's public. I think it's public. This would be out while time's over. Yeah, actually it will be. Congratulations.

Bring the wedding, not the marriage. So I tried to, because you're not allowed kids at the wedding. That's a rule. Yeah, and I think that's a fair rule. And I thought to Laura, like, hey, what's the point? And, you know, why bring the kids where we can't be with them because you've got to be at the wedding? why don't I just come over, not for a full week,

but instead I'll just come over for three nights. Boom, smash, run into the wedding, get the wedding done, do the recovery. We'll fly straight back. So it means that Nana's got the kids back in Sydney. It means we can have a bit of just you and me time. That's lovely. I think that's right. Well thought out.

Consider it. Also means I don't have to fly with the kids solo. Oh, six out. Economy? Yeah, economy. Economy. Yeah. I'm going to Bali without kids, just FYI.

Yeah, it must be real nice. And she was like, no, I just, I want to see the kids so badly. And I'm like, don't go then. Shit. How nervous are you about childbirth? Like, it is absolutely horrific what women have to go through. I mean, yeah, thank you. It is at times.

But also, I am having an epidural, and I did speak to my obstetrician. I was like, because when I had it last time, they told me that I had to be an established labor in order to have the epidural, which, you know, when you've been induced, inductions can be a lot more intense with labour. And it was awful. I was like, why do I have to, why do I have to experience this absolute horror show and then have the epidural?

And I was speaking to my obstetrician, he was like, oh, you can have the epidural straight away if you want to this time. Well, not now. I'm going to arrive in the car park, go upstairs and be like epidural first and then break my waters. Add the reception.

I was speaking to your sister and Kate had the same thing done. So I'm not, I'm actually not, I don't know, I'm not scared of the birth part. Like it feels like I'm about to run a marathon, but I think because I'm so uncomfortable at this point, like I honestly feel like I'm a whale on land

that's trying to walk that I'm quite happy about going through the birthing part. And also there's this weird sick thing that happens because you have such a dopamine rush afterwards that it's like you want it. Like it's like exciting. It's like an addict. Let's have another baby. Oh, you ball thing.

How are we feeling about Poppy versus Penny? Oh, I'm still, I'm still team poppy. Yeah. Me too. Team pops. For other reasons. Popsicle. I've got to wager with my wife.

Why don't you like Penny? I've got to wager with my wife that's Poppy. Oh. And if it's not, I've got to do a gym class with her and that's my first smart man. And April is very fit right now. I almost just want to call it a different. Just so that I can be punished. Essentially, she wants to sign me out for high rocks or whatever.

What's high rocks? That's another story. Oh, my pelvic floor could never. No, me either. Mine either. My pelvic floor is like, oh. Who's going to be in the room with us? Alicia and you.

Oh, sorry. Actually, not invited. You wouldn't even touch my stomach, let alone look at the horror show that's about it. No help in there whatsoever. But you also are not a great deal of help. That's why my sister's go. Wow. Just don't look.

No, because Matt doesn't like looking down the party end. Yeah, I wouldn't. And he also doesn't want to cut the umbilical cord. And he gets quite hungry very often. So he has to go out for snacks. He does get very hungry. He gets really hungry. So that's why my sister's going to be.

there because she'll either do the sandwich run. I could do a snack guy. And then often Matt wants to film content around all the things you shouldn't say in labor. So quite often we're in the labor theater still. I want to come to that one. I want to go to that one. That one sounds fun. But don't you think when you think about the two bursts that we've had together so far,

like Marley and Lola were absolutely. So far. Sorry. Well, there were like chalk and cheese. Like Marley was kind of really stressful. And then Lola's was so easy. If anything, we were trying to find things to pass the time with. because I had the epidural.

I couldn't feel anything. I wasn't in pain. And we were just like waiting for eight hours for this baby to come. And we're having a great time. Sounds good. So more filming of content? Yeah.

There's mixed signals going on here. So I'm not invited. Do you want to come? No, absolutely not. Thank you. I fainted during an epidural. So I definitely don't want to come. Oh, I'm getting kicked so bad right now.

All right. We'll try and hurry this up. Speaking of things that you shouldn't say during childbirth, I thought we should do a little segment, which we call things you shouldn't say to a pregnant woman. Creative. I love the name of it. Can we start with you?

Is there any that spring to mine, if there's your third pregnancy, that you're like, this one just comes straight at me. Every single day, someone says to me, wow, it's gone so fast. Oh, fuck off. And I go. For who? For you? Because I haven't seen you for six months.

It has gone quick, though. It has gone quick. So you were also not here for the whole first trimester. So, yeah, everyone always says, like, wow, this pregnancy has gone fast. And it feels like it could not have gone slow for me. Yeah, that's like a, yeah. Especially the last week. Yeah, it's one of those ones where you don't, yeah, you don't know that that's like the wrong

thing. I've got one. Go. Are you ready for your life to be over? Which is also not true. God, that's morbid. Or are you ready to never sleep again? It's also not true.

Otherwise, if it was true, people wouldn't go back for a third kid. Like, we know what we've done. We've done it before twice. So I don't subscribe to that. Having kids is great. I know. We don't subscribe to any of this. Let's just put that out there.

I think there's a very obvious one, which is, wow, you look huge. Yeah. which is a real fan favorite. That's a classic. I've done that one. I've done that one. I've also done that. I did that one to a friend of mine

before having kids myself because at the time I was in my early 20s and I just expected that it was a normal thing that pregnant people should be huge and therefore it wasn't an insult to tell them that they are. I was very wrong. No offence to the pregnant women out there. You are fucking huge.

Oh my God. I do hope for you that that gets edited out. But in contrast that when people say, are you sure you're eating enough? it's not that big. Yeah, the not that big one is also weird because then you worry that there's something wrong. So on the converse side, you know,

just don't talk about malnourished. I often get, you look the same, like your arms and legs are the same. You just have like a belly. And then it gives me visions of just like, like an elderly man with a pot belly, like with skinny arms and legs. Oh, yeah.

That makes you feel weird because I'm so arousal. I got one here. I got one here. And this one's a little bit triggering. when it's kind of like someone says what you can and can't eat. So for example, if you're eating something and it's like, oh, you really shouldn't eat that. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you get that a lot.

And everyone seems to know. And it's always something different. Like they're like, oh, is that whole leg? No, no. I hope not. I've been, look, I mean, we've made it this far. So I think I can admit to it. I've been really lax this pregnancy.

I have smoking. There has been. I did see you smoking out of the bad. So like my number one craving this pregnancy has been ham. and you're not meant to eat him, but I've eaten hair. It's like a staple part of my diet this pregnancy. This child will be half pig coming out. Also, I'm supposed to eat oysters.

But anytime we've been to a nice restaurant, I'm like, get a dozen. Just go for it. Get a dozen for me. But you know that you're going to get the judging eyes. Oh, you do. And I feel like with each pregnancy, I've gotten more relaxed. So, yeah.

Yeah, there's another one as well, which I've got here is, you don't even look pregnant, which is sort of like they're trying to be nice. That's kind of nice. Yeah, it's kind of nice, but then it also discounts how much you've gone through up until that point. Because it's like, well, if I don't look at, I very much am fucking pregnant.

Yeah, and I feel like, I feel it regardless, yes. I also think kids are very humbling because kids don't have a, they don't have the ability to hold back. So, Marley and Lola have offended me many times. Yeah. Yeah, or not, not even accidentally, they just say what they're thinking. And it is a truth, but it doesn't need to be said. Like, Mom, you've got a fat bum.

Bam. Like, why does your vagina look like that? And I'm like, because I'm pregnant, sweetheart. Like, just get out of the shower. Like, get out of the bathroom. How long can you use that excuse for? Because I'm pregnant. My vagina looks like that.

Yeah, because I had three of you. So we were in the park recently. And Mali was just telling everyone that I have purple boobs. She was walking around the park being like, my mom's got purple boobs. And what she meant is your nipples go dark during pregnancy, but obviously didn't have the vocab to explain that. It's like I'm in bed with the new woman.

Is it the ariola that goes a different color? Yeah. You're are Ariola. I was expecting you to call it Aoli or something. I thought Ariola was a Disney princess, but that's Ariel. Yes. Yeah. So she told everyone, yeah, my nipples are purple.

My boobs are purple. They're not totally purple. Get them out. Get them out. They're actually pretty purple. This is a child-friendly show, Matt. What else you got? You got anyone?

Just do the irk? No, let's. give Laura a rest. I don't think about other weird pregnancy things have happened. She needs a break. Flatulence, that's a big one. What about when someone just asks, like a random ass if they can touch your belly? Too much?

Depends on who it is. No, Laura's there dragging you in being like grossy. It's me. It's me. I tried to make Ash touch my stomach and he was so grossed out by it. Yeah, it was surprising how much it upset you. That's because I got seasick through April's pregnancies. No, Laura, I know you are, you've had a lot on today.

We've dragged into the podcast. It was meant to be a quick chat. It's now become a long chat. Sorry about that. You need a pack for tomorrow. We haven't packed. One gripe I've got really quick. The bag, the hospital bag.

I saw the other day on your story, you looked very uncomfortable and very tired. What was they doing? You were just ready for the baby to come out. That's what you were. What story was it? Because I might have felt fine at the time. So now I want to know if you're off you're offending me. I responded to it and said, I hope you're feeling okay, mate.

Blah, blah, blah, blah. Left on red. You left me on. What was the story? I don't know. Can you get your phone out? Because I want to know now whether I thought right. It says expired.

Damn it. But it says, I hope you're feeling okay, mate, thinking of you, something like that. And you fucking left me on scene. Also, I'm pregnant.

Also, Jess, I was exhausted. Our producer has followed you for a while. No follow back on social media. Sorry, Jess. I'll also. Do you know what? I don't use social media apart from for work. It's true.

Oh my God. Now I've heard it all. Laura, thank you for jumping on. If you've enjoyed this episode, please, we would love it if you shared it with a friend. Tell your mom, tell your kids, tell you... I thought you were telling Laura that. Tell your mom, tell you dad, tell your dog,

tell your friends and share the love. Oh, I don't just say. We love love! Tomorrow morning, just so you guys do know the timetable, we wake up. I call the hospital at 6 a.m. Yep. And then we take Lola to daycare,

or Kate takes Lola to Daycare. We drop Miley at school and we go straight to the hospital. So we are there from... 8.30 a.m. tomorrow. It's like checking in. I mean, April had her last C-section was planned. It was like checking into a hotel. I'm nervous. Are you? Yeah. Why? I don't know. Because it's a fucking big deal. How do you feel about going to number three? I mean, we're just about to wrap the podcast up. Sorry, but I feel like you're actually being honest about it for once. No. Wow. I'm excited. I'm just going to see myself out. I'm just, I'm nervous, but I'm

excited. I'm just, I don't know what we're going to get. This baby, obviously, a child. I just hope it's a child. I was something you need to explain. It's going to be an easy child, a hard child. I mean, what's it going to do for us? Probably nothing. It's a baby. What do you want it to do for you?

I bought this sentence. I'm so excited. No, I just. You mean to us or for us? I just think if we get a tricky baby, it's going to be months of hell. And I'm like, fuck, I don't know. I'm ready for that. Sucked in.

I mean, I think that's it. I think that's everything. All right. Well, best of for me, to you. Best of luck to both of you tomorrow. Thank you, Ash. I will be thinking, I won't message you because you won't respond. I will write back to you on Instagram.

I just said, I am excited. I am excited. I am excited. I have to put it out there. We heard you, bro. People are like just, I'm, I'm pumped. He has been very excited. I'm just nervous for you. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, all this is a big deal.

It's a lot of mixed emotions. Let's go with mixed emotions. But he has been very excited for the last six months. Oh my gosh. I get it. I get it. Great. Thank you gosh.

All right. Goodbye. See you. We got there. If you enjoyed this episode, even though we're on holidays, we still read the comments. That's all we do on holidays. Every day.

We're just sitting in a dark room right now watching singular comments, come through reviews, but we would love them from you guys. Yes. Or you can join us on socials, on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook or YouTube. See you there. Bye. Two Doting Dance podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and the.

connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respects to their elders, past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gatigal Land.