Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash - #EP 192 - April Dishes The Dirt

Episode Date: December 23, 2025

We're at Ash's house today and Matt's already snooping around checking out the new pad. Luckily for us, April was home, so we brought her in to chat to the boys on life with Ash. And does she spill the tea or what!? Let's just say a war of words erupts and Matt is loving his front row seat to it all. The boys also discuss how much work it takes to keep up the magic of Christmas as Matty tries (and fails) to recruit Ash to join the Elf on the Shelf trend. And with Santa arriving tonight, Ash reveals he's facing all sorts of questions about how the big man in red will get into their new place to deliver presents. Happy Christmas doters - we hope you have a wonderful and safe celebration with family and friends. If you need a shoulder to cry on:  Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The most annoying thing happened to me this morning, Ashton. I'm listening. You don't have this issue because you have multiple blue bins for the cardboard. Yes. But we've had an influx of cardboard coming into December. It's the worst. We had blue bins collected this morning. And because I've been stomping down the blue bins so much,

didn't come out. It's gotten stuck down the bottom, and so only half of the cardboard has gone out. And the garbage men, we're normally pretty good. Normally no complaints. But I was like, damn it. They could they not have checked? They can shake it with the thing, can't they? And there's a camera that looks, but also, they've probably got so many bins.

They're like, no time. Just move on. Right, right. But I'm like, I was doing so well of my quota of like, I got rid of all the cardboard. You've got to chop it up so small to actually really get rid of it. I know. And it's, look, the best thing about living here is I don't have to take it out, bring it back, because they have someone

that does that that's what strata's for but when we lived at the other place and I had to do it it's a full-time job it's a nightmare I'm not into it

it's on my mind at the moment so well all the best with the cardboard thank you thank you Welcome back to two-dating dads. I'm Maddie J. And I'm Matt.

And this is a podcast, all about parenting. It is the good. It is the bad. And Matt's sick. And I'm sick. I feel like I did well to fucking dodge it. Like, Nana was sick. Laura was sick.

Now I'm going to get sick. We had gastro. We had fevers. And I was just fucking just, I was tackling it head on. Being sick in summer is the worst. It's a kick in a dick for start because it's not cold. But just. The heat drains you.

I know. And then you're like, you're hot, you're cold, you're sweaty. So sensitive to the temperature. Oh, my God. Not for me. I'm not about it. But, you know, I would drag myself through hot coals to record this podcast. I know you would.

You do it. You do it all for the doders. Nana was like, I don't think you should go to washes. You don't, you don't look well. Shut up. I'll get it done. You should. Get it done.

We both had, we both had a busy morning. we have it's and i'm staring at something and it's in the corner of the table yes so what you're referring to is award assemblies for schools at the end of the year as we know was your assembly air kent ercund no but it's it's quite it's quite an open hall and big fans and stuff it was it was delightful house was a fucking sweatbox do they not have ac no ac in bondi bro oh god the one The one building in Bondo, no, A, Z. And you're trapped in there. Everyone's like, oh, God.

Built that building in assembly hall in 1940 with no ventilation. Put something in there. Oh, man, everybody was, it was hot, hot in the room. How many people would just say it? Was it just a full school or just a partial? No, apparently. I overheard another parent. I'm so glad they split it up this year.

Last year, it was the full school. It's too long. This year was kindy to grade two and then grade three to grade six. Yeah, smart. I think that's smart. Harved. That's good. Because you were fucking in there until like 1 o'clock.

You're essentially back at school. Yeah, it was like, no, we only had half too. Oh. We were 45 minutes, but they were just running a bit behind because that happens. It's not a wrangling kids. I know, it's not like a foolie. It's, you know, they're doing their best. A water side.

What was the highlight? Oh, the jazz band. What? So they did two songs. A jazz band? Hey well, the drummer. Same beat the whole way through. So he had the easiest job, I would say.

It says, because it was jazz. Then a trumpet would come over there. Something like that. Are these great tours? No, they actually had the year six band in as a special treat. Oh, wow. But they spent a lot of time thinking all the teachers. And it's like, great, love that.

They were like, we want to thank the parents. And you're like, yeah, thank you. But the jazz band was great. They started that each instrument would do a solo. Oh, that's stressful. the kids. Oh, I've really felt for them

because they're good. Oh, no. I know, a bit out of time. But that's all right. They gave their best. And that was a highlight.

Also, did the National Anthem both parts. Yeah, is that a new thing? It must be. Is that like, I don't,

I don't remember ever the second voice. I don't even know how. Do you guys have a school song? No. We do. To the tune of a Beto, which is like, da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.

That song? from like Beethoven or something. Very well, son. Thank you. What's the gist of the song? It's just about the school and what they stand for. What do they stand for? Respect, achievement, responsibility.

Oh, that's so cliche. Isn't it just? So cliche. I've heard it on for. Something original like anti-bullying. I don't know. Something. Come up with something.

It's not your best. It's not my best. I'm workshop on a few ideas for the next year. What do we stand for? Humour. Yeah, yeah. Humour, humor, humor. Just laugh.

Just laugh. it off. Get over it. That's what I mean. So and so primary school. Just get over it. Can I ask, did you, it's like the Oscars, where you get the tap on the shoulder pre-event and they say,

just so you know there's going to be an award. Did you guys get that? April got the email, yeah. And what did the email say? I didn't know. I didn't get received the emails. Well done, by the way. Thank you.

It's just, I am raising a very superb child. Do you get a scholarship? do you think for high school because he's a genius? No, I think he, this is a genius. Look, he's six. Will you send him to uni next year? I was thinking about, see if you, see how he go? Well, yesterday, he did ask for a piece of bed instead of a piece of bread.

So I don't think he's going any union anytime soon. But he did receive an award. We did receive an email that he was receiving an award. We didn't know what. April was like, I wonder what it's going to be. I can't, I'm itching to know. Okay, two awards. Bam.

Hit you that. The double. He got the double. Has that been done before? It would have. surely I don't know Can I just quickly Special mention to a kid

Right A year two kid Broke the school record For a 100 metre sprint And it hasn't been broken Since 2014 But honestly How fast do you think it was

Okay well how old Two I mean grade two So he's seven Eight And eight And eight I get 14 seconds

No he's not Usain 15 seconds So the record was 16 flat He did 156 But who's He's timing, that's like, that's gladys the mum, who's, no, how they timing it? Where did it take place?

I don't know, I don't know. If it's, unless it's at a track. It was at the athletics carnival, I think at, like, regionals or something. Okay. So they had the gates that you run through. That, I mean. They're children, Matthew. Sorry.

But also, that kid, he must be a celebrity. You know, we talk about the hierarchy of your boys. He can have any chick he wants in that school. Literally. The chicks are just like, did you see Timmy? Throwing, like the boys is well alive. What do you want for lunch or bar for you? Yeah, and they're like, how do you get so fast?

How did you get your speed? The status. He's like, chicken nuggets. Anyway, two awards. Two awards. First one is a certificate of merit, okay? I'll slide it to you on the table, but... What does merit stand for?

Good question. A certificate of merit, this certificate is awarded to Oscar Wicks. SRC, so student representative counsel. The quality of being good or worthy is a part of the definition. Essentially. Essentially. He's real good. So he's real good and he's real worthy.

I've always said that about him. Certificate of goodness. Yeah. Of worthiness and goodness leasness. Is he pumped? What's he? Oh, he was, yeah, he still wouldn't look at anyone when he received it. But afterwards, he was pumped.

Wow. So that's the first one. You're playing it off like it's nothing. I expected it. He's going to be the prime minister of this country. This one. And this is the second one. And it's a, it's a, it's a crystal.

It's been engraved. It's like quartz. Also, how are trophy stores? still in operation. Hey, that's a front. Schools? That's... Well said.

This one is for the 2025 academic award. Right? Wow. Wow. This same kid who said bed instead of bread yesterday. There you go. How many kids got the academic award? One in every class.

Shit, man. Yeah. That is amazing. I don't know how... Well done. To you. Well done to April. Well done to Oscar, more importantly.

Haven't done a single people. He's a homework in 12 months. How many books have you read with him? None. And that's probably why he's doing so well. Yeah, smart, because I'm dyslexic. He's like, what? What's that word being?

I'm like, I don't know. Anyway, that's over and done with. We didn't get any awards. For Kindy? Yeah, I was like, we didn't get the tap on the shoulder pre-event. So I was like, Marley hasn't won anything. And then they all got an award. They all got a certificate for completing year one.

And then the only awkward thing was they had the teacher, would stand on the stage that we would then call out each kid but we weren't sure what to do like do we clap each child or do we clap at the end so the first class all the kids and it felt cruel not cheering on these kids as they

you know he would say and here's Timmy Smith Timmy would be like do they call out each one individually from every class? Very quick very quick yeah Timmy Smith who? We had three classes in Kendi and then second class people kind of started giving a little cheer and then I was like

do I be that parent and then caught up Molly May's name. And I was like, woo. Oh, you won't. I was like, fuck it, man. I don't care. I don't care. I want, yeah.

That's my kid. That's my kid. That's my kid. Got a to tollie wrapped in a plastic. Yeah. Paper bag. I was, yeah, I was yiharing at the back. I was like, she loved.

I think she loved it. Yeah. She was like, shut the fuck up, dad. There it is. But no, no awards. Good question about the clapping just quickly, because they did say, clap at the end but we all everyone just ignored that and clap during yeah my hands are man you want to and then i was like we meant to clap after then i felt like the odd one out

and i felt like like if i if i was looking at me going so what you're not clapping for my kid everyone else's right then there's a fight in the car park you don't know you're punching or dads i don't need that heat so we just clapped everyone you want to imagine we're up on stage to no cheer give them a cheer yeah come on i think at one point like a lot of people were just, like, trying to find different parts of their body to clap because their hands are red raw from clapping. Oh, you're like the thigh. I did not.

I'm dusting off all the croissant crumbs. I noticed that the kid come up, shake hands. Yeah. And then receive the award, photo op, down off the stage. Yep. There was one teacher who's still sticking with the elbow from COVID. The elbow greeting. What's he hiding?

It was very formal like this to every. Yeah. We had teachers hugging kids. I'm all for that. Get tack time. Get the fuck off my kids. Anyway, are we in housekeeping? Really quickly.

Really quickly. We were at the shops recently and I bought an Advent calendar, a bluey one. And I bought one and you stopped me and said, what are you doing, you idiot? And you said, you should buy two. You have two kids. I have three now. But two of which are able to open up Advent calendars. I got two.

Are you thanking me? I'm thanking you. Thank you. Except these two Advent calendars are exactly the same. Yeah, I know, yeah, I've got the same too. And I don't know how the fuck my kids know this, but Marley was like, Lola, open my one. And I was like, they're the same.

And she's like, no, I had mine and Lola had hers. And I'm like, how do you know? She's like, I can tell how I open the little things. And I was like, they're identical. Like, doesn't make any difference whatsoever flipped out. Also, Advent calendars, I'm going to say it. They're a bit shit. They're a bit shit.

They're a bit shit. I stand by that. It's just a. another thing. Like the Bluey one, I don't want to attack Bluey because I love Bluey. But like number three was like a sticker, a sticker of like a tree. I was like, obviously I only paid six bucks. What are you want?

What are they, bars of gold? God. Obviously you get what you pay for, but you do. Even the kids are like, can I open another one? And I was like, you got a sticker. That's what we get for today. Yeah, you got to wait. But we got those ones, but my mother-in-law bought other ones.

So they got two. And they get chocolate and Bluey every day. day. What's the chocolate one? It's just a cabri one, which is, it's just, it's just a gimmick. I think they're a bit. I can lose the Advent calendar. Yeah.

That's non-critical. Are you doing Elf on the shelf too? Mate. You're doing it all. I'm jumping in the deep end. The biggest problem we're having is Macy wants to know where the fucking chimney is. I've got air con, babe. He's coming straight through that flap.

I said, I'm going to have to stay up and let him in. What's that one called? It's an inverter. It's an inverter. Santa Claus comes through the inverter. It comes out chilled. He comes in. But she's still, she's perplexing to her.

But anyway, I just said, I'll let him in the front door. But you've got to be asleep. Yes. Anyway. You guys don't do Elf in the Shell? No, I'm not starting that noise. And Oscar was like, some of the kids have elves at home. And I was like, there's fucking elves everywhere, do we've got elves in the classroom.

Oh, I'm not doing it. Dude, it's amazing. It's the best thing I've been in my life. I don't have time for that. So, it's, dude, I'm telling you, jump on it. Nope. Okay. But the look on their faces, you can kind of see why people would start cults.

Like the power you wield with these hands, like, I wrote Merry Christmas in flour on the bench. And who's cleaning that up? I clear, dude, two sex, wiped it off. I've got other things going on, man. And the look at my kids, they wake up and they're like, where is that little sneaky elf? And they're like, holy shit, he's written in flower. And I'm like, isn't it crazy? And they're like, it's so magical.

And I'm like, should I start a cult? Just an elf cult And the rules are great You can't touch the elf Otherwise he loses his magic The kids can't touch him No So if they want to touch the elf

That means for that night He won't move So they can't touch him And so they're like They want to touch him But they can't I just think it's a bit much But we've done like

Is it on the toilet seat With toilet paper everywhere Awkward for Nana When she had to go To the toilet in the middle of the night She's like She'll fucking touch the elf I'm just going to stick a shit on the elf

he was hanging from a lie it's amazing and the best thing is the thing that you're missing out on is the fact that sorry getting aggressive the fact that the elf reports back to Santa Claus every evening he's watching the elves and the elf can't talk but he's listening to the kids tell the elf what they want for Christmas because the elf is going to tell Santa Claus it's just it's it's like a security camera for well-behaved kids are you a salesman for elf on the shelf I've got a pallet of them at home oh my god I'm not getting into it. I don't need another thing.

I've got this already and I have to clean up. Look at it. It's shedding hair. Yeah, your Christmas tree looks. It looks good. Looks good. I had nothing to do with that. I got it out of the garage.

It's my job. That's about 200 years old, that tree. It's been used for so many Christmases. You're only, you're 33. It's been passed down from generations. But it's sheds everywhere. That's enough for me. And there's shit on the wall.

Yeah, the glue on the fake leaves is coming off. But it looks great. I'm not adopting any more traditions. You're missing out. I am not. You're missing out. I guarantee you I'm not. But anyway, some breaking news, Matt, okay.

It's better be good because the last few of the quality here is starting to dip. It is not. I can't make up news. Well, I killed. Fake news? Fake news. Okay. What do you got for me? Okay.

Children who were cuddled and hug grow up to be the happiest. According to. Who's done this? Harvard research. Fuck off they have. I feel like if people just write the word Harvard. in there that they're like that's eligible which harvard harvard and like instagram harvard sure that's not like people going to study at harvard and like what are we going to learn today

and they're like about kids being happy when they get a hug it's like duh no shit yeah i'm me like oh they're yeah cuddled and hugs isn't that what you meant to like isn't that what you do with your kid like give them a cuddle give me a hug something's wrong of course they're going to be happier some people some people out the ash of our age just put myself a bit younger. Yeah, I'm early 30s. You're late 30s. They never heard I love you from their parents so they never got a cuddle. Really? Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be interesting to see like we're too nice to our kids. Not me, man. We give them too much love. We do. And like, only time will tell when they grow up if we've done the right thing or not. I know, yes, that old thing where it's like

our generation didn't get enough love. So we knee-jerk reactions way too far the other way. Over-conferenced. So the pendulum swung both ways. And then for the next, Next generation, it'll even out. It'll be in the middle. They get a cuddle where they still get the wooden spoon. You get both. Best to both worlds, is that? That's where that saying comes from, I think.

Yeah. Anyway, that's breaking news. That was great. That was good. One of your best. Just thought it had Harvard attached to it. Just quickly, I was snooping around your house when you were paying attention. And I looked in your kid's room.

I wanted to see if there's bunk beds there. Guess what's in there? Bunk beds. Yeah. We did it. It looks good, by the way. It does look good. Where did you get those from?

Marketplace. What? Yeah. How much you pay for them? 200 that's very good it's good price they look brand new yeah they're pretty nice they were pretty well off i would say how did you get them in the car we had to disassemble it at the house reassemble it here you had to go into someone's house with the tools and disassemble and was that negotiated prior i just did the legwork the boss did the the boss did the work so you got sprung

how did she drop to you that you have to go where was the house she gave me a set of allan keys before i left the house and you were like what's this for and she's like you'll find out You're building a house. No, off you fucking get out of here. How long were you in the house for? Oh, what, three hours? No. We were pretty quick.

We were pretty quick. There's only a few bits of us. Did they offer you a drink? No, actually. Did you use the bathroom? Yeah, it took a big shit. Just left it. One of the kids that was in the house was very nosy.

He's like, who are you? He kept coming in and like, and I was like, you get new beds out. And he was like, who the fuck are you talking? No, he was like, oh, shit. Okay, he's speaking to me. It's like, yeah, get out. and um yeah what was this new bed what was happening there i don't know he ran off interrogate the guy about the fucking bed where are you got to sleep but uh got it home got it in

got it up um and there's some certain rules based off how many nights a story you told me which was laura breaking a leak breaking the femur and there's also a ceiling fan you got a new fan installed no it was already there i wasn't aware that it would be so close i was like to oscar i was like that is the first night was like 35 degrees here and also he's like turn the fat off and Macy keeps hitting the head on the bottom one so we're getting there

Lola hits her head every morning as she gets up she's like and in my room I'm like oh Lola's up yeah here go bong but look all the toys are in there now as you can see most of so yeah

that was super excited they were up to like 10pm man they couldn't go to those yeah they must that must have been nice coming in did you tell that was happening or did you surprise it? No, they knew. That could have been a Christmas gift.

Damn it. Damn it. Yes. But they were excited. They knew. It was happening. Hey, you know what I'm excited for? What's that?

The fact that we have a very special guest on this episode. Just before we go into having my wife on the podcast, which people are gagging for, apparently. I have salivating. Salivating. Yes. Much nicer. Rolls of the tongue. Thank you.

I had an incident which, look, this is, this is. slightly illegal that what happened but i'm going to defend myself do you want to give away this information on the podcast do you want to make it public this is incriminating for you or someone else uh me but it's not that bad okay not that bad no I'm worried about too much so I picked the kids up from school yeah the other day it can be stressful such a good dad thank you thank you very much so you know how it can be stressful because it's never the parking sitch is never or like the pickup spot it's always a nightmare it's hell we know that every school's different I'm not being to hell, but I imagine it is just like one big street of like parking pickup and drop off.

You get there and they're like, guess what you're going to do for eternity, school pickup. Yeah. And it's 30 fucking 5 degree and there's no aircontact. It's crazy. But anyway, I picked the kids up, went down to the main road. I had to pick up later than usual because he was doing an after school care thing. So I picked up Oscar, headed down the main road, three lanes, bus lane, two regular lanes. school zones are over at this point the person in front of me was driving very slow some people

think you got to drive 30 in the 40 zone like they're going to get demerit points back like come on mate hit the speed but it was past that anyway so it's 70 usually on that part of the road yeah it's a big drop it's a big stretch too but and i i was like god this person is infuriated because they were also not paying attention so you could tell that they were looking at something else as well And I had the kid in the car And I thought I'm just going to nip into the bus I had to get around them

Because they are clearly not Competent to be driving And when I went past I could see They were looking at BCF or something On driving past I was like Oh I could use a new tent

You could use a new driving license For starters Anyway I Very good Thank you Really quick Whipped back into that lane

In front of that person Undertaking I did the undertake Which in the bus lane We don't condone We don't condone You're allowed in the bus lane for certain things.

But if someone's going more than half under the limit, you've got to undertake. Yes. Anyway, the lights pulled up at the lights and a bus pulls up next to me and I see this hand out of the bus window. You can picture this and I was like, what the fuck is this guy doing? Is he clean his window or something? I was trying to get my attention.

Put the window down and let's just say I wasn't in the mood. Let's start this with that. I put the window down and I lean over to the passenger side. I was like, yeah. like what do you want and he was like oh the bus lane's not for overtaking and he did get me when i was not in the mood and i said i said i didn't know you're a police officer as well as a bus driver which very clever very good from you thank you and i off the cuff as well and it was just and i blank stared at him like with nothing i didn't you know no reaction usually i'm like

i'll hit you with a few different things i just thought this is enough and he looked at me and he was like it's dangerous and I said well your light's gone green you're holding everyone up so thanks for the feedback and put the window up

and he was just like shots fired anyway we're going and Oscar's in the car it's a homicide Oscar's in the car and he goes what was that I said hey Oscar I said oh do you know how I tell you

to mind your own business that's what happens when you don't mind your own business and he was like he was getting made a fool of he was like well done sir anyway I kept going

and I cheered me right up I was just so, I was in a bad mood. Victory. I just thought it was worth my, you know, it wasn't illegal. I did chat GTPT, see if it was illegal. And it's legal to drive on the bus lane for a couple hundred meters. If you're making a turn, I'm calling an undertake, overtake, a turn. I think it's great.

So, am I in the wrong there? Yeah. Or did I do the right thing? No, I think I will go into battle for you and defend you to my last breath. Yeah, because I think, like, I didn't, if I impeach. the bus? Fair. But he was

hundreds of metres behind and I've just gone whack and moved on with my life. If you hopped out of the car and you uppercunded him

that was next if he wanted to have a crack. But I think like it's a harmless joke it's a war of words which was one. Yeah I think he would have driven off

thinking I'm going to rethink my whole life. Yeah, he's not driving buses anymore. Yeah, he's not stopping and giving people

road rules anymore. Also shout out to all those who work in public transport because it's a tough job out there. Yeah, but keep your mouth shut. It's simple. April.

Let's get it off. Can I just say a quick shout out to everyone in the Facebook group? They were notified of this. They ran at us with their questions. We had many questions. We can't go through all of them because we have not enough time. But I've got a selection of the best one. So for those who submitted questions, thank you very much.

And here she is. April, it is a delight to have you here. Thanks. I had to really fight tooth and nail to get you on because Matt was really interrogating me yesterday about all the situations can i just say i said what would you like to talk about and ash was like well we won't even fucking do it though no no no no no no to be fair it was three messages in a row and that's what got me going and i was like what if it was like one message well constructed no problems i felt like an interrogation he got he caught me off guard because

both kids were really painful getting out of the house yesterday after you left and he just caught me off guard and i was like what am i being interrogated i just said what would you like to talk that's not how you would have asked that question you have never asked a question with that time ever i said i said checking no you didn't what would you like to talk about and ash was like well we don't have the fucking over on if you don't want to fucking have her on also also it was followed by i when i mentioned should we get april on the other day only vic responded and matt didn't respond and i thought okay well now i'm getting now i'm getting questions put anyway let's just say i fought for your honor thank you for the record april i'm very

very excited to have you on. Thank you. You don't seem like it. I get the receipt. I'm not believing it. Oh, yeah, I see. Ah, there you go. Yeah, I'm getting grilled by the Wicks household.

Yeah, that's all right. I mean, I'm only just crawled out of bed because I'm sick. Oh, God, cry me over. Do you want to call the Whambulance? Let's go. Can you just fucking, what's wrong? Nothing is wrong. You're in a mood.

I can. April, what's wrong with Ash? What's he done? What's happened? What have I done? Nothing. Nothing. Just sat in an assembly.

I did think yesterday. you're in a mood though. Yes, he wasn't a mood yesterday. Well, now we're going on up on me. And we do have a couple of questions, which the good listeners of this show have submitted. I love that. The great listeners of this show.

The doters. The dotas, as we refer to them. We would like to know, first up, what is it like being married to a sensational TV star? Slash, podcaster, slash social media, or just TV star. Well, when people ask, what does Ash do? What do you reply with?

I don't know. Good question. Depends who I'm talking to. If it's someone who will understand social media, I'll say content creator. Yeah. Never influencer. Never, because I know. It's a nerdy word.

It's a, yeah. Yeah. I haven't influenced anyone to do anything. But I actually have never dropped the TV star line. It's not, that'd be a stretch. There's TV stars out there to be offended by that. Well, you're, you are on. TV. Yeah, one time. That's enough. That's enough for a star. A star. That counts. I think it was

like three years ago we started during the podcast. It'll be, it'd be too, be coming to. Sorry. But who's counting? At the time, Ash was working full time and is nine to five. Yeah. He was then in the middle of the transition out of that nine to five. Thankfully, he got that redundancy. He is now a full time content creator. What is that like for you? Positive and negative. I want to start with. Wait, which one should I start with? I'll start with. Start with a negative. No, I'll start with the positive. Oh, go on. I think positive is like, it's finally so great to see you thrive in a job. Thank you. I think, and just like the amazing opportunities you get, we get as a family. I feel very grateful for like all the experiences and whatnot. The negative side of it is when you,

you turn around and you say, oh, I've got to go to Vegas next week, sorry. Oh, my God, that's what I do with it. The last-minute chaos for me. Obviously, I'm very organised and the last-minute trips and stuff, and he doesn't know where he's going to be in next month. So that would be the negative. I love that part of it. I love the excitement of that.

Yeah, being a content creator is, like, perfectly crafted for people with ADD. 100%. ADHD. Oh, sorry. But, yeah, it is because the chaos is. I like the thought of I don't know what today's going to bring and you never know what email you're going to get that day and it's like oh here's a paid job you're going to go to Vegas

and you're like oh no I'm going to break to my wife and then whenever I've got to go somewhere just like getting paid I'm like yep but if I wasn't it's like it has to be the best opportunity I think you've used as well as something like the lines of it's in the contract I've got to go oh yeah that's because I've made him ride it in there I'll show the contract bail I have I have pulled that one out

too. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. But to be fair, I, I am way more present when I'm here than having a job where I have to go to the city and stuff all the time. That's also a very big positive, like you being around a lot. Yeah, do the drop-offs, the pick-ups and a whole bit. You were a little bit nervous about, as you would be, I guess, like missing the security of a nine to five, was there any point where you kind of, like, the nerves went away and you're like, oh no, he's doing really well here. No, I'm still forever nervous. I feel like, well, no, I feel like you could say something, do something, and then you're gone. It's just a matter of time.

I know who you are, so I feel like there's always nerves. Fuck is that supposed to mean? We've had Ash muzzled on the podcast for a long time. Yeah, we cut a lot of stuff out. No, we don't. I'm much better than I used to do. For the record, he's a good guy. Yeah.

One of the best. Top guy. Thank you. Only says good things. Thank you. Speaking of Vegas. I, are we honest, I was a little bit judgmental when Ash said, We're going to go to Vegas, we're going to the Formula One.

We've got these really exciting things planned. It's all for April's birthday. How was the trip for you? It was actually amazing. I am very... It's in the contract. I was very impressed. Obviously, like, I do a lot of the booking, the planning of trips and whatnot.

As we know, Ashton has dyslexia. Yeah, this dog is really driving me fucking crazy. You want to do that? It's fucking tap dancing under the table. Showbiz. Let me dance, guys. I want to be a star too. There we go.

Just for everyone that's listening and watching, I peep the dog up. This is our third child. The panting is not ash. Yes, it is. All right. Let's go. Sorry.

Vegas. Yeah, no, I was actually, it was great. It was. I think what worked in my favour was that we stuck on Sydney time because I'm usually like 9 p.m. I want to go to bed. And I was worried that he'd be like, no, we've got to stay out, blah, blah, blah, blah. But it worked in our favour that we stayed on Sydney Time.

So I could act like I was a party goer and stayed up to like 3 a.m. Did you have any say on the itinerary? No. Which is kind of nice, I think, sometimes. Well, April usually organises all, like she said, all the family holidays. So it was nice for her to just put a feet up and do a shitload of walking. Yeah. I did ask to like double check what name you used on my passport and all that place.

She can't trust me. I was like, I got offended. I was like. Well, you openly admit you have got dyslexia. So I was waiting for my name to be spelled wrong. I can't do fucking numbers. And I blame Laura for this. But we got a call about Poppy's birth certificate.

Oh, no. And I put the month wrong. Oh, gosh. And I was like, Laura. What do you mean you got the month wrong? I went too early. You got to put nine instead of 10. Right, okay.

Right, right. Oh, well, that's an easy mistake. It was later. Especially like. But the passport forms. It's stressful. It's not made. I don't do that.

Especially in America as well. Yeah, well, I think... One wrong stroke of the pen and you're fucking... And you're out. Well, you did her own. She did her own, Esther. Yeah. You want to trust me with that.

The questioning got intense. What? When you go through the customs and the security guys, what do you do? What do you do for work? What are you doing here? Yeah. Like, what is your husband doing? You're like, ha, oh, oh, he's Mexican.

Come, come, form. And you do the fingerprint thing? Yeah. Do you remember, like, back in the day, I get really sweaty palms and nervous. Still? So, still. They never can, like, it doesn't work because my finger's too sweaty. And they're like, oh, she's hiding something.

She's illegal. She's nervous. Yeah. Yeah. It's, we were saying they're so strict for you to get in. But when you leave and they're like, get out. You know what, fuck? When I was going in, because I've got riding on me, on my hands and stuff, they were like,

what's this to me? I mean, I'm like, bro, it says love you. Okay, just chill. And then? I think I'm gang affiliated. I'm part of the toddler gang. It's like, for God's sake. Anyway.

Ruben wants to know who wears the pants in your relationship. I think if you asked either of us this, we'd answer ourselves. I agree with us. Well, I'm going for good books here. I think we'd each say ourselves because I feel like there's certain times that you are very stubborn. If I want to do something and you're... Me saying no, I'm not. Just proves and I'm stubborn. Yes, I am.

So I feel like, yeah, stubborn McGee over here will like to have a say. But I, yeah, I think... Someone's just got a new nickname for the podcast. Yeah. I would say in different areas of the house, for sure. Like, in different... You know, I think sometimes I'd pull rank and just put like, I'm pulling rank.

It means nothing, but I think it means something. And that's probably about it. And I just do it anyway. But yeah, I'm pretty stubborn. Yeah, I feel like from an outsider's perspective, and obviously I spend a lot of time with Ash, we don't have the pleasure, April, spending a huge amount of time with each other,

but I feel like the pants are shared. Yeah, I feel like, there's no, like, yeah look there's certain things that i wouldn't cross her that's for sure but there's go on no no no no no no but uh yeah i would agree with april i think i'm pretty stubborn yeah from charlotte she wants to know what is the dumbest argument you guys have ever had over parenting oh i'm all for an argument well i feel like we're pretty good these days we like to i'll be like lower your voice let's talk but back in the day i think like one of the dumbest things would be we'd probably like when oscar was like brand newborn six weeks old would blame each other

about his bad traits would say no that's from you that's from you and he's like six weeks old i vividly i vividly remember i said once dumb i said i was like how many coffees did you have today because he wouldn't sleep and she was breastfeeding and she had like to be fair she would only have one but i said that and she said no no no no this is so accuse it true yeah but she said No, no, no, this is from your shit genetics. But be very mild. We were both very sleep deprived. Very in the post-partum depression stage.

It was a really tough. We know it's like the trenches, as you would say. So I think after that, it was pretty much like, oh, that happened because we were both so tired. It wasn't like a serious, wasn't it? It was an argument. And I think that's the dumbest argument. Yeah, that's got to be up there, yeah.

Is it like tone? Do you guys have, you know, like, you ask for something and you go, I don't know where it is. Is that set you guys off? No, I think April would she, she'll just like overly clean the house that she wouldn't, things that she wouldn't usually do when she's got the shits and I can pick up on it. I'm like, look at you go. Like, and I'll, I'll point it out.

But I think I'm pretty, I'm pretty moody. I'm pretty, yeah, up and down. So like, oh, I can tell. So I'll be the first to admit that, yeah, sometimes my, my tone and my attitude can, can set April off. But sometimes she'll know, and she'll be like, like yesterday, when I, yes, I wasn't in the afternoon. I was not in a good mood. I think my meds just made me crashed yesterday. And April said, do you want to talk, like, she knew.

And she's like, do you want to talk about it? And she said, oh, no, not really. And she just left it. And that was smart because I think there wasn't anything wrong. I think that's a trick question. Like when Laura's like, do you want to talk about it? And I'm like, it's going to make more of an argument. Because there wasn't anything, it was just I could not get out of this.

And I didn't know. there was nothing about it and I think it was it was just meds sometimes I think we don't get periods obviously but sometimes you just watch sorry sometimes you just get in a grumpy mood me like last weekend I was just in a shitty mood all weekend you can't be happy all the time you got to balance it out at some point like you I mean you've got to like you you got to have the lows to appreciate the highest form there you go put it on t-shirt write it down write that down to him no okay last time I was grumpy laura was like can you You just cheer up.

I know. Yeah, that makes you. That will do it. Okay. You've been grumpy all day. I'm like, I got like a shit coffee and I was like, my coffee's not very good. Sorry. It's equivalent to like when, like, when, like, we as men go, we relax.

And it's like, oh, fuck. And I, look, I have said that a bunch of times and it's mainly because it's just my personality to be a cheeky shit. And I think like, that's the equivalent of that. Yeah. Next question. This might start an argument. Oh, I like it.

What would be your pet peeve about Ash? She doesn't have one. Your pet peeve? No, your pet peeve? Okay, I think I've got two. It's very minor. It's very minor. Like, it's just annoying things.

Okay, should I write it? I think you're someone who will not replace a toilet roll. Is that a pet peeve? Bullshit! That's a lie. Well, there's the stubbornness. We spoke about earlier. I feel attacked.

No. Maybe one. Okay. Do you know what it is? You don't. So if you take the last roll out, because I stack fresh ones in the cupboard, in the bathroom, ready to quickly, you know, you're stuck on toilet.

There's no point. Whip one out. You very much won't replace the pie. I won't replace the replacements. Yes. I feel like there's always two people in every household. Like Laura's, I feel like I'm just attacking Laura on this episode. Go for it.

I'm getting attacked over here. She's such a bitch. But Laura will just put the new one. on top of the empty one. Oh, that's infuriating. Right? Yeah.

Is it one of those ones you've got to like pinch both sides to get it off? No, it's like, I just slide on. That's like,

Laura, come on. And then your other one is, which I appreciate you taking the garbage out, but then I go to put garbage back in and the bag's not there.

I think. And when it's something sloppy and you're like, fuck take. I've got to fucking clean out the, The empty bucket. I'm going to say that I thought that I would take it,

you would replenish it. Okay, well maybe just tell me next time. All right. Communicate it. When you guys leave, it's going to be real heated. No, that's not.

Now, that's fair. I think that if that's all that's wrong with me, I'm fine with that. I don't know if I can ask this question. Oh, fuck. I love it. Go for it.

But has I bought you any lingerie later? No one asked that. You're asking that. How dare I? I have an interest and a hobby. God. What's considered lately? Oh, bring it out.

We'll move along. Within the year? How long ago were there? I have to stop myself from buying more. And that's a problem I've got. Yeah, I've definitely got more lingerie than days of the week. Nice. There you go.

Yeah. I want to get into that. Screw the rest of the questions. Maybe Christmas. I'll get you some for Christmas. Yeah. Is it weird if I buy your wife lingerie? It makes it better.

Has Ash's ADHD diagnosis changed a relationship at all? Yeah, I think it's definitely improved it. It's just a more understanding about how his brain works and what he does. And then I just feel like you being on meds has completely changed your productiveness. Really? Yeah. Yeah. The crash is bad, but it's not as often as...

What's the crash is in? So, like, it depends how quickly my body metabolizes it that day. If my body metabolizes it faster than usual and I haven't caught it. And then it's, like, yesterday, I was like, I just couldn't get out of it. Like, I couldn't get out of the slump. Like, you think, like, crack addicts, they're like, oh, crack. This is amazing. And then they're like, I don't have any crack left in me.

And it's like the plunge, the plummet. And a lot of the time, it's not that bad. Yes, I was just, I don't know what it was. It was just one of those days where I was, I think I was just physically exhausted. as well just from the heat and everything over that my body metabolised it way quicker than normal and it it was obvious and I like I'm not going to sit here and say it wasn't it was definitely obvious I'm much better today for now yeah but yeah but most days sweet but the production is yeah like you know when I call you up and it's like I'm on speed I was like

around the house imagine that yeah get shit done better yeah did we surprised with the diagnosis Not surprise, no, not at all. Shocker. Surprise with like the medication effect. And was it, was it instant or did it take a while to? Hard to say. I can't even remember when you started men's. I don't think it was completely instant.

I think you sort of, like anything, like you've got to start with a dose, right? And it's going to be, there's going to be lower than what you would need so that it's not dangerous. And like even this morning I had to go back and get my heart checked again today so that I can continue because obviously elevate your heart rate and my family's got heart disease, artery disease, anything else to do with your heart. So I've got to continually be checked every few months so that I don't kill myself with medication. So I think the first little while was sort of like taking less and then when you go for another consultant, they sort of break it down for you and it's like, well, you're obviously

you're going to metabolize it quicker you need a higher dose and you might need something to top you up throughout the day which i do need just because i'm quite highly strung and i'm you know what i mean i'm sort of always on the move a little bit like especially up here so it was like i definitely needed to be topped up but yeah i would say it started to get once i'd had that second sort of consultation about doses it started you could i could feel the difference and also good when you're busy with work you can just you know dip into his stash and She's got a right stash, aren't you? Joking, of course.

Do not control any misuse of prescription? But if you have to, what's your favourite tattoo on Ash and what's your least favourite? Ah, well, favourite has to be my initials, surely. Yeah, just on my wedding finger. You're like when someone gets your name on, almost name. A couple of letters. Lease favourite.

You must have been devastated when he came back and he didn't have a full horse tattoo on his back. I can't say I love horses. Um, do you have some weird sword or something? What? Do you? Oh, I think, no, but I think what about the one I got in Perth? Oh, yeah, the stupid one.

That's the one, the, the thumb up. The emoji thumbs up. Yeah, that would definitely be the least favorite. It's funny. I show tattoo artists and they're like, that's cool. I'm like, you've been around today's too long. They're just being nice. Oh, thanks, bad.

Have you got any tattoos? Clean skin. Clean skin. She's flirted with the idea of it. Flirted. Yeah. April passes out. Yeah.

Like she could get in a nails done. She'll pass out. Yeah. I'm not good with pain or blood. So I feel like it's just not for me. Both things. Teller just give both things. When it comes to Ash, what would you say is your favorite thing about him physically

and then your favorite thing about him from a personality perspective? Physically and personality. Yeah, well, here we go. Physically, I do love your tattoos. There you go. Bad boy. I do. Because, yeah, when you guys first got together, he would have had hardly anything.

Two. And I loved them at the time. I was like, oh, this guy's got tattoos. Oh, like 20-year-old. One, you've already covered up. Yeah, Macy wanted a princess mermaid, so I covered it up. And then the other one I still got, which is horrid. The compass.

I thought that was really cool. At the time it was. What do you mean? At the time. This is all right. It had its moment. Yeah, no, everyone's got one now. And personality, I do love that you are very impulse person because I'm not.

Yeah. It's a real case of opposites attracting. Very much so, yeah. If we were both like that, nothing to get done. Me, procrastinator. Yeah. Just a plan. or procrastinator, like April will not buy herself things

even though she had, she deserves that for herself. And I'll just buy it. And she'll be like, oh, I'd be like, well, you weren't going to do it. So I'm going to, this house. I made the offer before we even left the inspection. She doesn't know that. Yeah. If it wasn't for him, we probably wouldn't have.

Yeah, I just said how much, how much is going to cost me to own this house? And then when I left, I said, oh, I'm going to make an offer, but I already made the offer. Oh, sneaky. He was like, I'm going to make it work. Don't worry. And here we are. I love that. Thank you.

Why, you've got an erection. That one is coming out tonight, that's for sure. I'm fucking off it is. Mine is. Ash has been very open and honest about some of the struggles that he's had with his parenting in the past. From your perspective, you obviously get to see it day and day out. How do you think he's going as a dad? I think you're very hard on yourself because I feel like you are literally like holding.

You're the glue for the family. You hold us together. You're the backbone. you're the, like, you are the impulse person. So if like stuff needs to be get done, you do it. When you're not around and I'm solo parenting, I'm way more stress because the kids don't listen to me. They don't listen to you.

No, I think you're doing amazing and I appreciate everything you do. Thank you. I do, I am very hard on myself. I'm always thinking of like different ways to do things instead of just, I'm so sick of yelling at my kids, man. I'm so sick of it. And it makes me sad, you know, and I've said that to the kids. said I hate that every time I need something done I've got to yell because then when it's done

and you guys aren't here it's sad for me so yeah I'm pretty hard of myself because I want to be able to do things differently but you know what it's like it's like sometimes you just need to get it needs to needs to be done so you got to you know pull out the old raised voice and yeah it does it does hit me harder than people think that I feel like I remind you as well I'm like we're not the only ones yelling at our kids it's fine like it's fine oh yeah yeah I just I just hate i just hate it man like i used to be like sometimes it's a bit of a reset for yourself as well yeah like i like i had a week of general parenting and i was like doing great then i this morning yeah and that's it like i've started to like apologize for a little sort of like yelling just so that

i don't feel as bad about it because i was just feeling horrible of it so yeah and how do you think april's doing as a mum amazing she's so kind-hearted she's always thoughtful the kids a latch on to her. They always bypass me to ask mum for something because they're going to get mum's soft touch and she's doing an amazing job. The ying and the yang. What a match maiden headline. I know. I know.

April, thank you for jumping on. No worries. Thanks, Bib. I've wanted you on for such a long time. Show me the receipts. April, we normally at this point it turns to me to beg for people to review and leave a comment. But if you want to just, you can ask as you like, just

If you like this episode, like, subscribe, leave us a comment. I'll read them. Well, that'll get them across the line. You'd also join us on social media. We're at. Two Doty Dads. I was going to say dot com. Close.

Two Dony Dads on Instagram and TikTok and Spotify. Actually, you're never on a fucking Facebook group. Facebook. Facebook and YouTube. Can you like jump on in there? They'd love it. They'd love it. Okay.

I like things every now and then. There's like 5,000 people that are just gagging for a bit of April. They are gagging, yes. All right. Thanks for jumping. No pressure. Great to have you here. See ya.

Thanks for having me. Thank you for having us. Bye. Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respects to their elders, past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gatigal Land.