Two Hot Takes - 101: Rather Cage Dive w/ Sharks..

Episode Date: February 9, 2023

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Lauren and we even have Justin popping in for a story. This episode is the opposite of valentines day and love. These stories have people in them that if you're single may have you feeling blessed.. Can't wait to hear your thoughts on these ones. Justin's New Show!!! https://anchor.fm/crackingthecopyright https://www.youtube.com/@crackingthecopyright Patreon for bonus content:  https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Our SubReddit to Submit YOUR Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes Nonprofit Lauren picked :) https://theoceancleanup.com/ Partners: ZocDoc: Zocdoc.com/THT Draft Kings: Promo Code: THT Hello Fresh: HelloFresh.com/tht21 Promo Code: tht21 NextEvo: NextEvo.com/podcast Promo Code: THT Draft Kings Disclaimer: Gambling Problem? Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (CO/IL/IN/LA/MD/MI/NJ/PA/TN/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (KS/NH), 888-789-7777/visit ccpg.org (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), visit OPGR.org (OR), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/KS/LA(select parishes) /MD/MI/NJ/NY/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. Void in OH/ONT. Eligibility restrictions apply.   $200 in Free Bets: Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 bet. Promo code req. $200 issued as free bets that expire 7 days (168 hours) after being awarded. Free bets must be wagered 1x and stake is not included in any returns or winnings. Super Boost: Valid 1 Odds Boost Token per customer after opt-in each day for eligible Super Bowl LVII prop markets only. Token must be used BEFORE placing eligible bet between 6-9PM ET daily. Odds boosts and prop markets will vary. Max bet limits apply. Tokens are non-cashable, non-refundable, and cannot be withdrawn. Boost Token expire daily at 9PM ET. There are no restrictions on the funds a customer will receive if their bet wins. If their bet loses, they will not receive any reward. Offer period valid 2/6/23 - 2/11/23. See terms at sportsbook.draftkings.com/footballterms.

Hi, Jan from Toyota speaking. Jan, I heard it's a good time to buy a Toyota. Sure is. From now until April 4th, you can shop all your favorites, like Corolla, RAV4, Sequoia, and more. Imagine yourself in a new tundra where... You stopped by the home improvement store and finally built that tree house you promised your daughter.

Sarah? When did you hop on the call? Hi, Dad. Mom said you were taking too long on the phone. Toyota, let's go places. See your participating Toyota dealer for details. Dealer inventory may vary. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan. And I'm Lauren. Yeah, this is going to be probably the most low energy you'll ever see me on...

Are you sure about that? Because I heard you wanted to take a shot. I know, because it's so fucked up. But tequila is like the only thing that can, like, give me energy if I'm like... Because it has caffeine in it. Is that why? Well, because it's an upper, but I don't know, it's caffeine. It's actually caffeine. Yeah, natural caffeine. Then why is it that tequila caffeine doesn't give me jitters, but coffee does? Because if I were to do coffee right now, like, I would not, I would be like,

nope, get me out of here. I almost died today from the coffee I had. I was literally, and it's a brand I don't usually drink. So I was like, you know how every caffeine, every bean tastes different or whatever has a different caffeine content? And dude, I texted Lauren, I was like, I'm having a panic attack. My chest is palpating. I'm just like, I was dying from the caffeine today.

And I was like, good, we're in it together. Because this is going to be the biggest struggle for me to just be, like, at a normal level. But honestly, like, that's the beauty of this podcast is that people just come as you are. Like, we're not always going to be the same. We have different days where some days you're super energetic and some days you're not. So that is life. And honestly, we're in this, like, January, it's the beginning of the year.

This is actually going to be the Valentine's Day episode. So this will be in February, but it's still early on in the year. And like, we're all just trying to get back into the swing of things. A lot of pressure on ourselves with potentially New Year's resolutions or, god damn, another year, I got to figure shit out. So just take it easy. Take a deep breath and let's enjoy the show. Let's enjoy the show.

Let's enjoy the show. Okay. Oh. Oh, not quite yet. Okay. Your face. Straight panic. Yeah.

No, so this week's episode has really been an evolving theme for me. And it started out as a folder for, like, not necessarily always, always romantic relationships, but non-romantic ics. And then I started realizing, like, no, like, most of them are romantic ics and just like people being weird. So then I'm really broaching on a title, but right now in my head, I have this, like, running theme of, like, be thankful you're single. This is all, this is for my single people.

Are you looking at me? I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you. So it's just kind of an episode of just, like, these couples that bless this mess. They need a divine intervention. Like, something's got to give here because this shit is chaos. To be honest, as much as I would love, love, love to find my person, it is nice to be single sometimes.

It just, it just says, there's so much reflection. There's so much just doing what makes you happy. Like, my last minute trip to South Africa, which was fucking amazing. Oh, which I forgot. People were asking me to talk about that. Oh, my God. But we'll, we'll get there later whenever it's available. Yeah.

Oh, my God. That was amazing. Lauren went like cage diving with sharks and honestly, that's, maybe that's the title. Cage diving with sharks because that's, that's kind of what these stories are. Like, it's just these fucking sharks. That's perfect. That's perfect.

Good. Cause I would love to tie that in. It was literally my dream for so long. So the fact that I got to do it, I was so happy. Absolutely insane. Okay. Well, let's dive in. Let's do it.

Oh, shot time. Oh my God. Look at you go. I'm doing a cleanse. So today I'm drinking non-alcoholic gin with a lime spin drift. I was indecisive. So I also have a kombucha alpine lavender and another gin and lime spin drift. Let us get into this.

Do we like really want to hit it where it hurts? Yeah. Okay. This one is a wild ride. Y'all buckle up. So this is posted on true off my chest one day ago. Trigger warning on this one though, it does have talks of suicide. Whoa.

Husband says has a fair partner committed suicide, but she's still active on social media. I don't know what's real anymore. What the fuck? My husband had an affair with a woman who is a high level executive at a tech company for at least a year. I found out in January of 2022 and he broke it off with her and we started couples therapy. He made it clear that he wanted our marriage to work.

Last night, he told me that a few months after he broke up with her, she committed suicide. He said she kept reaching out to him for months after he broke up with her through her friends and through different phone numbers that he kept blocking. He says she attempted suicide at least twice in that time. I guess he tried to help, but it didn't work. Her ex called him in May of last year to say that she had taken her own life and that she left instructions that he was to read my husband the suicide note.

Husband featured very prominently in it, though the main reason she cited was a toxic work environment. No one would tell him when the funeral was because the note said she didn't want him to know. He said lawyers called after that and told him she left him five million. What the f- Which he turned down. So it went to charity instead.

He said friends of hers kept calling months later to try to get him to contest the will, though I don't understand why they would care. In any case, husband tells me all of this last night, months after the fact, and I tried to comfort him because that has to be devastating. But here's the thing. She's still active on LinkedIn, and I don't think it's just a bot. She gave a detailed recommendation for someone like two weeks ago and received one in return, talking in detail about her work over the last year, multiple posts in the last month

alone, even from other people, talking about meetings they had with her. That's the only social media she ever had, so there's nothing else for me to check. I don't know if he lied to me or if she lied to him, but either way, I'm losing my freaking mind over here. Is she alive? Is she not? Is it even any of my business? Do I try to track down a death certificate, call her office and see if she still works

there? And if she is alive, then what? Is it better? Do I tell my husband? Or do I take this secret to my grave? These are just some of the questions that are running through my head. I don't actually want her to be dead, but if she's alive, it would mean that she put together an incredibly elaborate scheme and got multiple people in on it, all to convince

him that she killed herself, but that he was only partially responsible? It makes no sense. Wow. It makes me feel crazy, like how I felt during his affair, before I finally had enough proof that he couldn't possibly deny it. I knew something was wrong, but he swore I was just paranoid. Oh god, motherfucker. Months of lies like that work their way into your brain.

You question everything you think because you can't tell what's real anymore. This just brings all of those feelings right back to the surface. And on top of that, I feel so selfish for even questioning it. A woman died. What is wrong with me that I would even consider the possibility because she's active on LinkedIn, there's something wrong with you, of course anyone would consider that. Of some giant conspiracy like this. I just want this to stop.

I want to go back in time and unknown all of this. Maybe I should just leave it be, but I feel like if I could just be certain of the truth, whatever the truth is, then all of these feelings would stop. My money's on the husband's a liar. I can't talk to anyone about it because none of my friends even know about the affair. Oh, fuck. And because let's be real, I'm a horrible person for even thinking this might be true. And probably just subconsciously trying to relieve my own guilt or something,

but I needed to tell someone. So now I've told all of you. It didn't make me feel any better. Life sucks. I want to scream. Okay, I don't understand what kind of guilt because she is a fucking victim. No matter what happened in this scenario, which obviously when you read that, that's devastating to hear that somebody would commit suicide no matter what the circumstances.

It's awful. That doesn't change the fact that she was lied to and like made to believe that she was crazy, gaslighted by the person that she's committed her life to. That doesn't change that. No matter like nothing, she's a victim. So there's nothing she should feel guilty about. But at the same time, I'm, this is just so, this is crazy because at first it's like, yeah, why would you not believe that?

Why would anyone lie about that? But then the reason why I'm skeptical of the husband is because, okay, not to say that people wouldn't turn down five million and give it to charity. And I don't know what his finances are like, but you'd think that they would at least maybe take like a few grand. I wouldn't. I don't fucking know. I mean, maybe, I don't know.

It's a weird situation like taking five million from your fair partner who just committed suicide over you. Weird situation, but like, I guess, I guess maybe you would donate it to charity because it's like, it's almost blood money. It's literally blood money. But like, that's a good point. But at the same time, then wouldn't you like at least accept it and then give it to her family members or something? I don't, dude, I don't know. I'm like, I, I'm so mind fucked by this one because how do you even leave five million to someone that you partially blame for your,

your wanting to die? Right. Just to make him feel more guilty, maybe. So then, yeah, you're right. This is like a murder mystery. Holy shit. Because my brain, I'm fucked up. I'm really fucked up already.

I don't know why. For some reason, I didn't put together the whole fact of, yeah, why would you accept money from somebody who said that you're partially the reason? So you're right. Like, that doesn't make sense. But honestly, five fucking million dollars, you guys. You, like, we all have to be lying through our teeth if we say we wouldn't think about taking it or take some of it. Well, unless he has multiple millions, multiple millions himself and he doesn't care. That is just so crazy though.

That's life changing money though. That's just insane. But here's, this is why I think the lesbian, the husband might be full of shit is because chronic fucking liars. They don't know when to fucking stop. And like, they can't help it. They can't help themselves. So I don't know. Maybe that was his way of lying to relieve his own guilt.

And then now he's getting sympathy from his wife. She might have been holding it against him, their entire relationship. And so he construed this entire plan to get the sympathy back. I mean, honestly, anyone who chronically lies like that and can do that to the person you love the most. And like, the fact that she couldn't get it out of him until she had all the proof in the world. How can you trust them moving forward? You can't. Yeah.

It's like cheating is heart wrenching. But there's a difference between cheating and coming clean right away. And then there's a difference between fucking lying about it. And then when they confront you lined their face and lying some more gaslighting them, telling them the paranoid, like, that's a big difference. Because it's like, there's no remorse and you're just doubling down. Yeah. And like, I've talked about this before in the past, but it's just like relationships. It depends on what you guys like the agreements, right?

There are people that have open relationships that hook up with other people and it works and they can be happy and everyone can get along. The issue is not necessarily having a relationship where you're hooking up with somebody. It's the betrayal, which is the lies. So that's why I think like the biggest issue is the fact that he was lying. So how can we trust him now in this scenario? But it all just seems too convenient. Yeah. Like, I don't want to make light of like people that obviously this is a very touchy subject.

Like suicide is a very real problem, especially in the States. I feel like it's a problem everywhere, but I feel like there's just been such a like epidemic of men committing suicide in the States. So it's like, it's very, it's very on my radar, especially like I have a family member that is like, I'm very worried about right now. And so it's just like, I, I'm very sensitive to it. But at the same time, like, it just doesn't, something doesn't feel right here. Yeah. I mean, if it wasn't for the fact that she saw that she was posted on social media, then I would be like, okay, like slow your roll. You know, I would be more like questioning.

No, you're probably just being a little sensitive because of everything he's put you through, which is fair. Right. And I completely agree. It's not a topic to like try to poke holes through. However, the fact that she said, do not come to my memorial and also I'm going to give you $5 million. Why would you want somebody that you're willing to give all this money to not come to your memorial? And then can, and then I don't know, have somebody else post on LinkedIn for you? Like there's usually, and that's why I'm curious about this one because usually you can type in an obituary.

You can type in something online that will show like whether it's on LinkedIn or, you know, whatever it is. Somebody, you say her, you type in the name and then it comes up that they had passed. So that's why I'm also suspicious. Yeah. Like she's also, I don't know if anyone realizes this, but when you look at someone's LinkedIn page, they get a notification you're looking. Yeah. You can turn it like off a setting too. If you pay for it?

No. It's like if you, I forget what it is, but it's, you're kind of a little LinkedIn expert. It's, no, it's something where if you just like, if you don't have it show that people are looking at your profile, you know, because you can see that as well. Yeah. Then you don't, I think it's the same thing as TikTok because TikTok has that feature too. They do? Yeah. Uh-oh.

One of my friends was like, I fainted when I found out that people could see and the person I was creeping on, she's like, I fainted. I'm so embarrassed. I need to stop. Can I turn that off? What? Yeah. Yeah. You just can't see who's looking at your profile.

It might not be on. If you, if you don't get notifications that someone's looking at your profile, then it might not be on. I get a lot of notifications though. So it would get lost. Yeah. I don't know. But is it, is it really that bad? I don't know.

I look at weird stuff. That's okay. Okay. So the top comment on this one, what the fuck? Where is the proof of the five million? Where is a copy of the note? Where is a copy of the death certificate? Who else thinks husband is spinning many lies?

Cheers. Next comment down. The five million makes it so obviously a lie. No one in their right mind would turn this down. It sounds like such a twisted story. What kind of work does she do? That she has a spare five million line around. Like wouldn't he at least accept this?

Instant retirement. Plus he would likely think the OP would accept the money almost as compensation for his actions. That's so strange. Comments from OP, there are some. Someone writes, and it's like one of the first comments OP responds to. And so someone goes, so I'm a guy and I've come up with some absolutely batshit crazy stories in my life. But damn, if your husband didn't one up me, the things that come to my mind initially are turned down five million. Right.

That's retired now money. But let's say you did and the money went to charity. Which charity? Might be interesting to contact them and ask about gifts of that amount in the last 12 months. She died but her LinkedIn is active. My next step would be to Google her name plus the word obituary and see what comes up. If I had to guess, nothing will show up because she didn't actually die. The name you have for the affair partner may not actually be who the real affair partner was.

After all, what better way to keep the cheated on spouse from contacting the affair partner than making her some high level executive that is impossible to contact. From what you've posted, I wouldn't blame you in the least for doubting him right now. And so OP responds and goes, yeah, it all seems too elaborate. The one thing I can say for sure is that I do know who she is and that it's the right person because I tracked all that down myself and have all of the emails, texts, et cetera to prove it. Someone goes, so how do you know it's her husband that's texting him and not her? I assume they mean like her ex-husband.

And so OP goes, I don't. This all just seems like so much effort for anyone to go to that I can't even begin to understand it. Also, don't you think the ex-husband, wouldn't he be mad at OP's husband for also having an affair with his wife? Like why would he even reach out to the ex-husband and be like, yeah, she wanted me to read her note. Yeah, she left you $5 million. What's that show called? The one that everyone was obsessed with with the guy from gossip girl. Chuck or Nate?

Nate? No, neither. Oh my God. Penn Bagley? Yeah. You? Yeah, you. You never fucking know. Some you level shit.

Never fucking know. Someone's just like, what was the 5 million life insurance cash? Your husband is a bad liar. He could have just said she passed away and left it at that. To make it this elaborate is strange. He's messing with you. Yeah. So we do have some updates.

Okay. Fuck. Have you read them already? No. Oh shit. I saw them as I was like reading down. I didn't read any of the comments or either update. Update.

There is no obituary. No evidence of her death online at all. There should definitely be something. I literally just got full body chills. Yeah. Update two. I looked up his phone records and her ex-husband has been calling him a couple of times every month.

I am now even more confused than before. What the fuck? People are so fucking bored. I don't think it's ex-husband. I think it's just like that's her actual number. Right. That's what I'm thinking too. But I'm just like, what is this fucking elaborate plan?

So he can continue to have his cake and eat it too. He probably never ever ended their affair. Yeah. Never. He probably continued it. Yeah. Sick. Twisted.

To lie about someone killing themselves. Twisted. Just get a divorce. Yeah. Go be with her. But that's what I'm saying. Like I'm not saying you level. But like it's like, it's there are some people where like they just get off on being able

to fuck around with people, seeing how far their lives can take them. Like it's insane, but cool. Well, I'll keep looking for an update. It was just one day ago. I have a feeling based on OP actually commenting. I think we're going to get an update from this one. I really do. It's fucking wild though.

Yeah. Oh, sorry. Go on. Oh, I was just going to say like, please, OP, if you're listening, leave him because he'll never stop lying. Even if this is true, the fact that he fucking lied so hard to you when he was cheating on you, he won't stop. He just will hope not to get caught again.

Uh-huh. He's proven that. And how can you trust him at all anymore? I mean, again, you're constantly going to be doubting yourself and your radar and your judgment and your gut. Yeah. If someone, you're in a relationship with someone, whatever that relationship looks like, and they're making you question your gut instincts and like, you always kind of

feel, oh, just something's a little off. Like even friends, like I've been friends with people that are pathological liars and they just have this elaborate story. And it's like, okay. Like, ugh, it's just not worth that. Like energy, having that in your life. So whatever relationship you have, people that make you feel uneasy, not worth it. Oh, great.

It's like, give it a go, give it a chance. If they prove you fucking right or if they just constantly let you down, it's just like no one to leave. Yeah, exactly. The thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking. I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays, and lighters. I started exercising instead of smoking. Staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key.

I kept on trying, learned something each time. Do whatever it takes. No matter how many times it takes. We did it. So can you. For free and confidential help, call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit waytoquit.org. Developed by CDC. Okay, are you ready for the next shark?

Why do you just keep doing that to yourself? I don't want to take it all at once. It's a big shot glass. Okay, I'm going to fair warn you guys, none of these stories are good except I do have a palate cleanser at the end. So it does end well. I mean, these people just, again, the theme is be happy you're single. If you are single and if you're in a relationship, like, goddamn, be happy you found one that's normal.

Yeah. Or if you're not in one that's good, then fucking leave. Leave. Okay, so this next one is from, am I the asshole? Posted three days ago now, 18,000 up votes. Am I the asshole for walking out of a restaurant on my girlfriend? Girlfriend and I were having dinner at a restaurant when she got a text from her best friend who recently gave birth and she said, oh my God, she got a C-section.

She works as a nurse. So she then explained to me the type of incision they make for that and how to leave a scar. I then, as a joke said, quote, at least she'll still be tight down there. Did, wait, did OP recently have a baby? No, they're talking about her friend. I know, but I just didn't know if that was like a comparison. Oh yeah. God, that would have been terrible.

Right. My girlfriend looked confused and then said that was a weird comment to make about her friend. I then said it is a very normal joke to make and she disagreed. Long story short, there was some back and forth. I asked her to drop it and she kept trying to talk to me about it. I said to her, quote, you're so insecure. And then she goes, quote, doesn't make you feel good to call me that. So then I got really frustrated, got up and walked out of the restaurant and drove home.

She called me several times. I drove both of us there. But I was so frustrated and just wanted to get home. So I turned to my phone off. She showed up at our apartment 30 minutes later and was really pissed, called me an asshole and overreacted and that she waited in the cold for 20 minutes for an Uber. Am I the asshole for walking out on her and leaving her there for being frustrated? So I want to say yes.

The reason being is that it's not that hard to just say like, oh, I didn't realize that that comment was something offensive. You know, I apologize that that, you know, hurt your feelings. Can we move on? I won't do it again. You know what I mean? Like, why does it have to be this like crazy. He has to be like, well, you're too sensitive.

Well, you're insecure. Like, yeah, she just said what she doesn't like and what she finds funny and what she doesn't find funny. And if you care about being a really good partner to her, then why don't you want to hear those things? Like, you don't have to be so, what's the word? You don't have to take so much offense. And I think that's what happened is that he took offense that it was a joke and she didn't find it funny. Would you find it funny? No.

And the thing is, is that like, I understand that some people don't give a shit and that you could laugh at that. You know, you know, your partner, like those can be jokes that you make between each other. It's like, you should be able to figure each other out well enough to know what is funny to the other and what's not. But like for me, like specifically, if I'm in love with somebody, I don't want to hear them thinking about somebody else's private parts. So I know that sounded like really elementary to say, but like, seriously, it's like, there was this one time I was with my boyfriend and there's this girl that we just met. And we're all sitting around and we're all talking and she starts like explicitly talking about how she got eaten out when she was on some dryer or something like that. And it's not like I'm mad at her, but at the same time, I was just like, he was like laughing and like asking questions about it and joking about it. And I'm like, such a pick me.

Yeah, it's just kind of weird. It's like, now you're visualizing this person right in front of us naked getting eaten out. And even though it's like, you didn't do anything wrong and you're just having this playful conversation, it's like, it's not something you really want to think about. I'm sorry, I'm rambling. I'm going in circles. I'm just blown away that someone, because I mean, I used to be friends with a girl that would do that all the time. Like any conversation, setting that we were in with a group of guys, she would always talk about how much she loved getting eaten out. And it is just such a pick me thing to do.

It really is. You know, maybe that's not the intention, like that one person that I'm talking about. How did it come up? How do you just come up with a story like, God, this one time I was on a washing machine. It wasn't just the three of us. There was a few other people. I don't remember, honestly. But it's one of those things where it doesn't necessarily need to be that, but I can still have my own feelings that like, I'm like, well, I'd rather him not picture her naked.

But it's, I didn't react to it. I didn't get him in trouble. I didn't, you know, whatever. But like if he were to ask me like how I felt about that, I'd be like, yeah, I just didn't think it was funny. And so she has every right to express those feelings and he doesn't need to make a deal out of it. He just needs to say like, okay, got it. Like, I'm sorry if sometimes I slip and say something that I think you might find humorous. I clearly don't want your best fucking friend.

Like, I hope you know how much I love you, but I understand that you don't like those comments. So I won't make them. And then everything would just be happy. But instead he was like, you didn't think my job was funny. Well, and then to flip it on her, like you're so insecure. And she called him on it, right? She, she literally said to him, does that make you feel better? Or does it make you feel good to call me that?

Right. And that's just seems that behavior of instantly flipping the script and like you're so insecure. You're, are you jealous? I made that comment or whatever those people that they do that. It just seems abusive to me. Yeah. And I think for me, I hear this comment and it's, it's a weird joke. It's not funny.

It's misogynistic. It's gross. That's true. Because it plays into the fact like of the women being like a lock and a dude being a key. And it's like, it's like, oh, she's, her body counts high. She's stretched out. It's like, it's so not true. It's not true.

And it just kind of plays into that. And also it's like so many people go through vaginal bursts and like other countries handle it so much better than us where they actually have pelvic floor therapy and go through these exercises to get their pelvic floor muscles strengthened after childbirth. And they're even tighter than they were before the kids. So that's cool. Like it's just, it's not true. And it's weird.

Like if Justin ever made a comment and he never would, but if he was ever like, oh, she had a C section. Wow. Like God. Her boyfriend, her husband. At least he gets to still enjoy that tight pussy. Yeah. Instant divorce, instant breakup.

Divorce. Okay. Divorce is a little extreme. Dude, that's gross. It is gross, but on the other side of things, maybe, maybe this guy, I mean, I don't, I don't think this is the case, but maybe he thought that she was being mean about the friend Scar. And so he was trying to say something nice. You're giving him a lot of credit.

I know. I'm just them throwing out the options. But like I said, I still think it's like a fucking dick move, but, oh, my, sorry. That was very ADD. I was going to say my sock literally matches the blanket. Oh my God. And your sweater kind of does. Yeah.

True. Wow. Yeah. Just weird vibes. I think his behavior is very concerning. 100%. Yeah. The top comment on this one.

Big red box. Lots of awards. You're the asshole for completely unnecessarily sexist comment about her friend's vagina and for your lack of understanding about basic biology. Bonus asshole points for calling your girlfriend insecure, having a toddler tantrum and storming off. Yeah. That's the other part of it we haven't talked about.

Not only did he try to flip it on her and like gaslight her. Oh, you're insecure. Blah, blah, blah. But he left her at a restaurant. Yeah. After he drove together, both of them there, and they live together. It's not like, it's not like you're abandoning her and she's going to go home. Yeah.

You live together. Your home is her home. If anyone's left me stranded somewhere, I hope to God she breaks up with him. Yeah. The fight one thing. Okay. And the dinner. Go home.

Have your separate time. One of you is in the bedroom. One of you is in the living room. Whatever you want to do. But like to leave someone to storm off. Right. And leave some. Grow up.

Okay. I, I agree. It's funny because when I first started answering this, I thought for some reason there was going to be the alternate side being like, I don't know. I'm just, I'm just happy because that's how I feel too. Yeah. There's another comment too under that one because that one has almost 91,000 up votes. Holy shit.

Yeah. And the one under it is goes, right? Like where and what have these men been taught about women's genitals? He probably thinks P comes out of the vagina too. And someone else goes down and that women could hold in their period if they wanted to. He's the kind of guy who would ask the doctor, can you give her a few more stitches while you're at it? Oh God.

The girlfriend definitely needs to dump him. And that is really scary. Like the husband stitch and the fact that there's actually people that ask for it. That's real. Yeah. Fuck. So many doctors that go on TikTok and say like, this woman's husband asked me to throw in an extra stitch when I was stitching her back up to make her tight.

That's not how that works. That's disgusting. It's super painful. Fuck. Like, mm. Also, a vagina plasticity is a thing. Like if you want to freshen up your vagina, that's a thing, but do it the right way. Gosh, so many fucking things.

Have you seen that TikTok going around to that guy being like, women's bodies are not supposed to menstruate every month. Women are only supposed to have a period every four years. Okay. I can't tell if he's kidding, but I think he's serious. You know, I just can't believe like the last three minutes blown away. All I have to say is like, find a way to make dicks bigger. Don't try to stitch up your fucking moist vagina.

You freak. Signed of the episode, guys. That's the end. Wrap it up. We can't top that. Okay. Moving along because that one, this is done. Bookshot.

That was great. The thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking. I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays and lighters. I started exercising instead of smoking. Staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key. I kept on trying. Learn something each time. Do whatever it takes.

No matter how many times it takes. We did it. So can you. For free and confidential help, call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit waytoquit.org developed by CDC. Okay. So this one is from True Off My Chest posted about two months ago and it's titled, My Husband Started Acting Strangely Upon My Sister's Pregnancy Announcement. I feel like I'm going crazy here thinking about it.

My husband and I were at my parents' house for dinner. All was going well. We were talking, laughing, eating, but as soon as my sister got up from her seat and announced her pregnancy, I noticed at first that my husband got quiet. Didn't get up to congratulate her like the rest of us did and just kept staring at or towards her. I'm not entirely sure. I repeatedly asked if he was okay and he mumbled about feeling a bit sick. That was strange because he was perfectly fine all day.

Literally moments later, he started throwing up. Like I had no idea what was happening to him. He sat on the bathroom floor near the toilet just looking down and refusing to let me help him up to wash his face. I kept asking him if he was okay, but no response. My family were worried about him and I had to take him home. I checked his temp and blood pressure, but all were normal. Still, complete silence on his part. He went to sleep shortly after and in the early morning at 5.30, I woke up to the sound of him crying in the shower.

I rushed in asking if he was okay, but still no response other than telling me he needed a minute with himself. I almost lost it, demanding he explain what was going on and he told me he was just feeling overwhelmed. Dada, from what? He's not the type who gets stressed out from work or anything of the sort. This is just so strange and out of character of him. He got dressed and left and then refused to even talk about it. I can't help but feel like this reaction was triggered by my sister's pregnancy announcement since this all started right after she made it. What makes me feel so horrible is the fact that my sister once implied that my husband was her type and hoped to get someone like him.

Yikes. She has a boyfriend, by the way. This could be nothing, but I can't shake this weird feeling about what happened. Yeah. Fuck that. Holy shit. People say so calm, which I applaud because it's like, gather the evidence, sneak attack, confront them. But it's like, I would be like, what in the actual fucking fuck?

What are you doing? What are you doing? Your temperature's fine. What's going on? I would freak out. I would be, oh, accusations would be flying. Oh my god. Yeah.

He threw up. He threw up, you guys. He got so stressed out and sick over this pregnancy news. He threw up. Do you know the stress you have to be under to just throw up? You know what really disgusts me, too, is that the fact that the porn industry has so much like husband, sister, whatever. I don't f- Steps ass.

Steps ass. Sister in law. Sister in law. That's gross. I don't get it. And what creeps me out is not the fact that that exists. It's the fact that there are clearly people that are fantasizing about that, which is so fucked up. Like, if you do have that fetish, make an anonymous YouTube account and let us know why.

Like, try to explain it. There's a lot of stuff I don't understand. Oh, just like, how could you do that? I don't understand how you can like do that to a person. I just, uh, what's your porn category you go to? I don't do porn. You're full of shit. Don't do porn.

You're so full of shit. What's your porn category? I really like the massage videos. Just the very sensual massage videos that it's just like a gal on a table or, I don't like the guy ones. The gal's on the table and like, she's just getting a nice massage rubbed down and then it just like turns into a little more. That's great. Yeah. Cause then I get them at home and it's, it's magical.

I was going to ask like, you get to live that through. Oh yeah. Wow. But that's like a real, that's like a good one, right? That's healthy. Yeah. That's very healthy. Healthy.

Yeah. Air quotes. Yeah. I mean, I don't, I don't think that it's possible that all porn is unhealthy. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. It's interesting. I think like an addiction is unhealthy.

Yeah. Occasional. Yeah. Curiosity. Right. Have you ever watched a VR porn? No. I mean, so for those of you that don't know if your boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, partner,

homie, I don't know, whatever. If they have an Oculus, one of those like VR headsets, there's literally VR porn where like, if you lay down, it feels like you're laying down and someone's like on top doing stuff or if you're a guy, like in the guy one, you like look down and someone's like literally sucking your dick. So it's so crazy. So I was on this boat, this, I don't even know how many months ago, not too long ago, but there was this guy that I met who was talking about the, he works for a business

who does exactly that, but he was talking about, it's almost like a, what do they call them? Flashlights. It's like a flashlight. Oh yeah. Yeah. So like for, it's paired with the VR headset that you put over your face and your ears and then you also put it over your dick.

And there, he was showing me on his phone, they take these like 3D images of only fans, only fangirls. They do it in lingerie, they do it completely naked, they do different angles. And this guy's showing me this kind of weird, like very forward for a first introduction. Wait, that was the first time you met? Yeah. It was like a cocktail party, like on a boat. It was, yeah, it's weird, but you weren't in LA, I guess.

It would happen anywhere. Learning something new. But no, but it was just crazy. He was telling me that they hadn't released whatever product that they were working on at the moment, but that was months ago, so maybe they do now. But I was like, how do you feel that you are at the forefront of destroying relationships? And he's like, not going to lie, I think about it often, but I figured it's going to happen anyway.

So I might as well make money off of it. I was like, I can't argue, to be honest. But really fucking weird. Anyway, moving along, moving along. So top comment on this one, I don't know, something fucking moderator. This one is going to be spicy, might even get the locked award. Ha ha, funny. So the actual real top comment is, oh dear, it doesn't sound good to be fair.

If anything has happened and your sister could just sit and announce her pregnancy normally, when there's a chance it could be your husband, means she's a complete bitch and has zero guilt. Hopefully it's just a misunderstanding. I'd ask your husband straight and see how he reacts. That will tell you all you need to know. Best of luck. Well, the thing is, is that even if it wasn't, if she was announcing it because it was her

boyfriends, still very fucking concerning that the guy thinks that it's his. Yeah, or this comment, and this is something that did not even pop into my head. Number one, the baby is his. Number two, he wishes the baby is his. And I've seen stories like that on Reddit where it's like, I'm actually in love with my sister-in-law. Then, oh my God, maybe that, maybe that one was him. Someone goes, talk to your sister.

And Opie goes, I'm planning to, though she seemed completely normal with her announcement and what came afterwards. She even suggested I take him to the hospital to get looked at. Oh my gosh. Oh, I'm scared. Okay. Well, there's no update, but there are some comments. Opie's sister has been with her current boyfriend for over a year.

I got to say that I did not expect them to get pregnant, especially since they have issues that needed to be worked out first. Someone goes, my ex fiancee used to throw up when he was getting close to getting caught about cheating. Looking back, the throw up or feeling like you're going to throw up is definitely not a normal reaction. I didn't think anything of it at the time because I didn't think he was capable of cheating.

I thought it was his medical conditions. Opie responds, my God, I wasn't sure because I thought he had eaten a lot at dinner, but seeing your explanation made me anxious. Someone goes, when I found out my ex was cheating and confronted him, he denied it. I stupidly believed him. But the next few days, he was violently ill and kept vomiting. I thought it was a flu or food poisoning. But eventually he fessed up that he was cheating on me.

Line literally made him sick, I guess. And Opie goes, you're the second commenter to tell me that vomiting has to do with lying or guilt. I don't know what to say. I'm thinking of taking my time to search his stuff to see if I can find anything. Someone goes, maybe he just got caught up in imagining parenthood, being responsible for another little human is overwhelming. This is an extreme reaction.

Is he typically nervous? Opie goes, we're pretty open when it comes to this topic. I don't see why he couldn't tell me about it. Do they have kids yet? No mention. Um, so I'm not, not seeing that. And those are the only comments. So I'm not sure what's going on.

Uh, there is a thing though, where there was a Reddit story and now I'm going to have to go down the rabbit hole finding it. But it was about this guy who was in love with his sister-in-law and had this big, massive meltdown when she found out she had just gotten engaged. And I'm like, is this the same guy? Is this the same thing? There's a book that I read recently that's similar to all of this, but I can't tell it because you don't know it until the very end.

So I can't be like, read this book because it would ruin it. Really? Really? What is it? I can't tell. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Just searching Reddit though. Like there's so many Reddit posts that are like, I'm falling in love with my sister-in-law, I'm in love with my former sister-in-law, fell in love with my sister-in-law, in love with sister-in-law. Like, I guess this is not an unusual thing. I mean, I don't know. It's like, I want to say that I despise him less if he were to just take no action, but like fell in love with the sister just like from a distance.

Yeah. They're close. They're family. Like he couldn't help the fact that he fancied her. Yeah. Why'd I say that? Where am I from? Bridgerton vibes.

But, but honestly, maybe even more painful, probably even more painful. Regardless, you got to figure it out. Yeah. Because if there's something going on there, like get the fuck away from that man. Well, I think it's especially concerning about the sister-in-law's comment too, that like she made two OP basically saying like, your husband's my type. And then like, I, I don't, like she's obviously keeping her cool, which the

best liars do, right? And so her saying, you should take him to the hospital. Wouldn't you be concerned about your baby's dad too? You know, so I don't know. There's no updates from OP. It was posted two months ago. So we really got to keep an eye out on this one. Just, I'm curious to know what everyone else thinks about that situation.

I'm, I'm curious if people are going to be like, definitely that's his baby. Or no, he's just something's up. Maybe he is having a fair not with the sister-in-law and he got that woman pregnant and then her announcing her pregnancy, kind of like spurred this reaction of like, ah, who knows? Maybe it's just food poisoning. Hey, maybe he has a parasite like you think I do. But he was crying in the shower at five 30 AM.

I mean, I would cry if I had a parasite. I think you do, but he's guilty. He's guilty of something. You guys, I don't know why, but like the past two years, I just, we'll get sick so often and it's for a very short amount of time. So it'll be like one or two days. And so today we got me on a really rough day, which honestly, I feel like my voice might sound a little deeper too.

But anyway, Morgan thinks that it's a parasite for whatever reason. I don't know. I just think my immune system is like shot. Do you have been running yourself ragged? You think Lauren, you literally were like traveling somewhere and then you went to South Africa and now you're back, who celebrated a friend's birthday going nonstop. And now you're going to go to Puerto Rico, like you got a Costa Rica,

which I actually don't know if I'm going to go because I'm struggling. You need some time. You need to heal some self care and love. We can go on a fun trip soon. I'd love that. I love traveling. Where do you want to go? So I have a lot of ideas, but we'll talk.

Okay. So this next one is from Am I the Asshole posted about one month ago and it is titled Am I the Asshole for not wanting my husband to go to his ex's funeral? I'll admit, I'm biased right off the bat. I couldn't stand her. I call her his ex to myself and others. He called her his friend. We're all in our early forties.

She died recently, aneurysm. I've been with him 10 years now, but he'd known her for 20 plus. The way he tells it, they were friends in college, decided to date, got married, then realized they weren't a great couple and decided to just be friends. All that happened years before I met him. He was clear early on that she was important. A couple of months into dating, it came up that his friend was actually his ex-wife. He explained the above to me saying she was one of his closest friends and that

it was purely platonic. I expressed some discomfort at him being so close to an ex and he told me, that's fine. If you have a serious issue with it, let me know now and save us some time. I'll choose her. I like you and all, but I've known her for over 12 years and she's one of the most important people in my life. You'll have to be okay with that if you want us to be a thing.

Damn, good for him. Clear cut boundaries from the start, I like him. When we are engaged, I asked him again. He gave me this perplexed look and asked, quote, why would us getting married affect my friendships? I sucked it up and went along. I resented every moment of knowing her, especially when we had to be social. She understood some part of him I couldn't.

Her husband was friends with mine as well. So it's not like I could use him as an angle. He'd have lunch with the ex. They'd go to their geeky movies and whatever. The few times I brought it up, he said, quote, we had this conversation before. You had your chance to back out. She died after they had lunch the other day on the way back to her car. Holy shit.

He spent a bunch of time crying, but honestly, I was relieved. Oh my God. Are you fucking kidding me? You bitch. That's horrendous to hear. Wow. I can't believe this person wrote this. I can't believe that either.

How fucking lost are you in the brain? Jesus Christ. I don't know. Do we need to go on instant asshole? Yeah, 100% asshole. That makes me sick. He was working with her husband on funeral planning. I told him, you don't think you're going, do you?

I want to, I just want. She reminds me of like every evil character in a movie combined. Like this is the worst person I think of. Corella DeVille, the girl from Parent Trap, Meredith Blake, but yeah. Anyway. My argument summed up, she's dead, so she's not a factor anymore. He doesn't get to use his, she's my friend excuse since she doesn't exist anymore. Okay.

He had his cry for a couple of days. He gets to be done with mourning her already. There's no need for him to go to her funeral since I wouldn't want her at his. He was the angriest I've ever seen him when I told him that. Replying that he'll be going no matter how I feel and that he's willing to burn this to the fucking ground while holding up his wedding band. Oh yeah. Besides you, she was the closest friend in my life.

Him, her husband and my sisters are calling me in an insensitive asshole over this. That's really like polite of them. All saying that there was no romantic aspect to their relationship and that I'm heartless. Her husband went so far as calling me a ghoul for how I've reacted. I never felt their relationship was appropriate and I hid that for years because I wanted to be with my husband. Now that she's gone, I don't feel I should have to hide it anymore and I can speak freely. Oh fuck off.

Am I the asshole for just wanting him to be done with her and for him to not attend the funeral? Literally leave her immediately. I've never felt quicker about that. Leave her. That is so fucked up. So fucked up. It would be different if he was like completely... I don't even know.

There's, I can't even think of it. It would be different. It's just like that's so fucked up. He made the boundary very clear from the beginning. This is like the most heartless one. I don't know why. But this feels worse to me than all the other ones we've read. Yeah.

And I agree. And I think it's just because like death is so permanent. Yeah. She's gone. And she's making it so she doesn't exist anymore. Yeah, you're right. Fuck you. And isn't that sad?

Her fucking soul, her spirit, the memories, they all still exist. And he is allowed to mourn that, talk about it, think about it, go visit her funeral, go talk to her husband about it, do whatever the fuck he wants to do. And like, if you can't be a partner that can support your partner, when they're going through an insane loss, then get the fuck out of their lives. Because like you said, that is the most heart-wrenching thing, to lose someone that you love so much. And to have somebody next to you who just says get over it,

no, get out of my life. She's terrible. Like she is the most vindictive, cold. I don't think she's like, she is so manipulative that she's, I've withheld this resentment. I resented her. I'm glad she's gone. I'm relieved.

Why did you continue to date him? Seriously. There are, there's plenty of other people out there. If you're uncomfortable with someone being friends with their ex, there are plenty of people out there that are not. And the other thing too, is that when you read that, she didn't mention anything about she makes passes at my husband. She's a huge asshole to me.

She literally just said, I just don't like her. And they have a special relationship that I could never understand. Like it's so fueled by such like hate. It's not even fueled by like, she treated me awful. Do you know what I mean? It's so unjustified. Yeah. She is extremely, probably one of the most insecure,

I think we've ever come across. Yeah. And if the husband, if her husband is so happy to be friends with them, then what's the issue? Yeah. He's not threatened. He's not jealous. What's the issue?

Oh, this one was rough. Top comment on this one with 83,000 upvotes. Holy shit. This is a big one. You're the asshole. When he divorces you, he probably won't have to explain his friendships with you to the next woman. Because seriously, who would want to stay friends with a woman who had treated you like this?

This, how heartless. You're the asshole, OP. I can't believe what I just read. Has she responded to any of these? Let's go look. I would love to hear if she's like taking it in. No, but there was an update that was posted only a day ago. Please be on the way back machine.

Please be on the way back machine. The way back machine doesn't have it captured. Way back machine is really letting us down. It's really sucking. And there's, there's other ones. So I'm going to go look at rare, like edit, nothing on there. Every time you say it, I picture a time machine. It literally looks like that.

Like it's screen captures, like snapshots of internet pages in time. I don't think this one's coming back unless someone else can work their magic and post it on the two hot takes sub reddit. But there was an update posted a day ago, which is actually insane that we just saw that and can't see it. I'm really sad. I'm really, really sad. I need to know, but someone like that,

I don't think they're really going to have even with Reddit going off on them. I don't think someone that cruel and heartless is going to have a come to moment. Yeah. Come to Jesus. Come to Jesus moment. Yeah. I was going to say that, but then I was like, I almost said it too. That's why I was like, epiphany.

Yeah. I don't, I don't think it's going to happen. The only other comment that I see that has like a red box towards the top is like, someone says in a, the comment above it, if it bothered her so much, she should not have married him. He was upfront about it. If she had any class, she could have just not said anything, gave her control and says, and be done with it.

Yeah. But she had to show off her ghoul face to everyone in morning. What kind of monsters relieved that her husband's friend died? Seriously. Way to show your true colors. And so someone responds and it goes, I've been thinking about this a lot. And based on the OP's behavior, I'm so sad the guy lost the only good friend in his life. The OP isn't one.

No, absolutely not. Imagine a friend, any friend of yours, being friends with somebody that you don't like. Could you ever imagine telling that friend to not go to their funeral? It is crazy sometimes the control that people try to put over other people. Crazy. And we've said this a lot where it's like, why is she still competing with a ghost?

And there wasn't even a competition here. You won. You got him. Yeah, they were done long before you came along. You won, but you lost because of yourself. You got in your own way, which is so sad. It really is. And he deserves better.

So much better. He deserves better. The thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking. I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays, and lighters. I started exercising instead of smoking. Staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key. I kept on trying. Learn something each time.

Do whatever it takes. No matter how many times it takes. We did it. So can you. For free and confidential help, call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit www.waytoquit.org developed by CDC. Okay, this next one. It is from Emma the asshole. And it's titled Emma the asshole for telling my wife it was a mistake to stay at the baby shower.

So my wife, 26 female, and I, 28 male, have been married for a year and began trying to conceive in September. No luck so far, but the doctor did say at our first appointment that it typically takes close to a year for most couples to conceive. She's been telling people that she's infertile, which isn't true. Doctor said she isn't. My wife and I went to my work Christmas party in mid-December, where my wife met my co-worker's wife.

Let's call her Mary, and they took a liking to each other. Mary was pregnant and invited my wife to her baby shower, which was yesterday. And my wife sounded so excited to go. I asked her when we were alone if she thinks she'll be fine. I know my wife, and I know what typically bothers her. I know she wouldn't bask in happiness over someone else's pregnancy, so I urged her to think it through. She said she's fine and she was excited, so she went.

The baby shower is yesterday. About 40 minutes in, she calls me and asks me to come. I was at a cafe nearby because I knew she wouldn't stay long. I find her at the entrance of the house crying, and a bunch of women consoling her. When she saw me, she came to me and pulled me to the garden to talk. She said she was dancing and looked at Mary's pregnant belly and couldn't take it anymore. Started crying and ran out.

All of Mary's friends followed her out to console her. I consoled her myself and said, Okay, let's go, babe. What do you want to go do? We can go for a drive so you can feel better. She looked at me weird and asked why she would leave. I asked, why would she stay? She says I'm getting attention.

She said she feels better now and can go have a good time. I sighed and said, babe, you know that's not going to happen, and I doubt the attention will be on Mary after this, and that's not great. It's her baby shower, and she deserves to be celebrated. I can't see how people are going to shift their focus from consoling you to celebrating her if you're still here. She rolled her eyes at me and said she was going back in and that I could leave. Three hours later, the party was nearing its end, so I go back to pick her up.

My coworker and I stepped into the house and lo and behold, everyone is sitting in a circle with my wife being the center of attention. Co-worker looked for his wife and she wasn't there at all. He called her and she said she had left ages ago. My wife and I entered the car and I first asked her how she was feeling, and we spoke about it for a few minutes. I then asked her what happened and why Mary left. She said, oh crap, Mary, I forgot to say bye to her.

I told her Mary left ages ago. I then said, I know you're going through a hard time, but why on earth would you and her friends do this? If they can sold you for a few minutes, that's fine, but the entire party, we really should have left earlier. Yeah. She looked at me so offended and said, are you Mary's husband or mine? We stared at each other for a while and just drove home in silence.

I told her I want to talk to her this morning to sort things out, but she ignored me and left the house. God, we're on a streak of mean woman right now. Gotta make it fair. Yeah. Gotta make it fair. True. I will never understand people that need to make things

completely about themselves all the time. Yeah. Are you so uncomfortable letting other people have just a moment of recognition and happiness and center of attention-ness? Well, you know what? What I don't understand is how can you not feel bad about that? Even when I'm talking to a friend about something that they're going through, like a hard time, and then I'm trying to relate to them,

so I tell them something I'm going through or went through that was similar, and then all of a sudden I realize, I'm like, wait a minute, I'm putting it too much on me, and then I instantly want to put it back on them and be like, whatever. Talk about you. So I just don't understand how you can have the mentality that you just get off by going into somebody else's party that they paid money for, that their friend showed up for, that their biggest,

one of their biggest moments, the most exciting moments for them, and just decide that you want to take that all away from them, and that you're happy about it too. It's different if that's an accident because that happens. Like we all have emotions, but the husband said, it should not have been the whole party. Come on. Well, and so he dropped her off, went to a cafe, and she called him,

and so that was already probably about 40 minutes in, so then they talk, so it's about an hour in, okay, which any rational person would be like, yeah, you're right, it's Mary's time, I'm going to say goodbye and let's go. Like it's understandable to be upset if you're really trying to conceive, and you have these other people celebrating happy moments like that. Yeah, you might be a little jealous. You might feel bad about your struggle, your whatever's happening,

but have the self-awareness and the decency to say, this isn't about me, she should be celebrated, she should be able to have this day, you're right, let's go. But instead to be like, no, I'm going back in. Yeah, I wonder if she was wasted too, because that could be part of it. I don't know, do people get hammered at baby showers? Fuck yeah. Really?

I don't know actually. Like, I don't know, the lady that's being celebrated can't drink, so it's like, I feel like- Have I been to a baby shower? The ones I've been to, people don't. There's like maybe champagne, but that's- Yeah, I guess out of respect, because it's like the person you're celebrating can't drink. I know.

Interesting, maybe that's a debatable hot topic. Yeah. That's about an hour, right? First meltdown hour. Husband comes back to get her three hours later. So she's made four hours about herself. I'm going to tell you right now, I know I have good friends in my life, because if I was marrying this situation and some bitch came in trying to hijack my baby shower

and was crying, I know for a fact, you and Alejandra, you'd comfort her initially. Yeah. You'd be like, okay, I'm so sorry you're going through this, like let's call your husband, let's get you out of here. And then after maybe about an hour, but for sure by hour number two- Oh my God, way before that. You guys would walk over to me and you'd be like, what the hell is wrong with this woman? We need to get her out of here.

You guys would be rolling your eyes with me. I would be, I think what I would be like, because given I don't know who she is and the circumstances and I don't know how like stable or what's going on in her life, I'd be like, we need to find someone else that can help her out because we want to focus on you. And then I'd be like, where the fuck is her husband or like where the fuck is her, you know, whoever. Partner, friend. Anyone.

Mom. Friend. Dog. Let's get her a dog. Get her a dog. Little mini pig. Oh, so cute. So the top comment on this one, not the asshole.

Your wife turned someone else's celebration into her own pity party to the point that the guest of honor left her own shower and doesn't realize she did anything wrong. Do you really want to have a child with a woman like that? Well, it also depends on how many times this happens. Like if this, if this is part of her character. Character flaw. Yeah.

Right. But if it's like, she's literally just going through it and it's a bad day. It's still shitty. Like she should apologize. But, you know, I don't, I don't know what she's going through. But she's also lying to people and saying she's infertile when she's not. That's true. Maybe she just thinks that she is.

The doctor explained if your husband can understand it, why can't you? That's true. She seems like a person that really loves to be the center of attention. I think you nailed it when you said that. Yeah. I really do. For sure. So with this story, it was posted about 10 days ago.

We already have an update. Oh, shit. There's a lot of comments from OP. I'm not really going to get into them. The one I do see that's of course standing out to me now is like, OP, who is she telling that she's infertile? What do you say slash do when she says that? And then someone goes, why did you predict her bad behavior so well?

Which is true, which kind of answers the question, like, is this her usual thing? Like, how did he know this would happen? Yeah. And so OP goes, I didn't predict that she would cause a scene. I told her to rethink going because I was trying to save her from feeling bad. She tends to get bummed out when other people achieve things that she hasn't yet. She was bummed out when her little sister got engaged before we did. But she didn't cause a scene at any of the parties or at the wedding

and put up the whole happy for you act quite well. She would only speak to me about how she was feeling when we are alone. If you had told me a few months ago that she would pull this, I would have laughed and said no way. So, update. Males here, males here. Isn't that what it is? Is that from Blue Skuz?

Yeah, I think so. I love Blue Skuz. That's pretty good. I practice. Well, I was going to say, oh, it's because you practice Tigger. Man, do it. Haven't practiced in a while. Come on.

Haven't practiced. Just try. Yeah, that's pretty good. It's hard. Update. So, I texted my coworker, let's call him Frank. Let's call him Frank and asked if we could talk. So, we met up during our lunch break.

I apologized for everything that happened. He kept telling me it's fine and being so nice about it and that kind of made me feel worse. He said he has booked Mary a ticket back home for a week and that her sisters and friends were going to surprise her with another baby shower. I asked if he'd mind my wife and I paying the expenses of the baby shower that they were going to throw.

Wow. He laughed and said no way, but that he appreciated it. We went back and forth a bit, but he eventually said he'd ask his sister-in-law how much she spends on everything and then would let me know and we can pay half of it. I spoke to my wife when I got home from work. She apologized for ignoring me

and said she doesn't know why she behaved like this. She said she is embarrassed and she can't bring herself to come to terms with how she behaved. We also spoke about the infertility thing. She said she thought her saying it out loud and discussing it with people would make it easier for her if she found out she was actually infertile.

Interesting. Because she would have come to terms with it. Right. Wow. I don't get it, but hey, at least she didn't dodge accountability this time and did acknowledge that it's wrong and that she needs to stop. It's slightly worrying to me how she sounds

like a completely new person so often lately. Almost like there are multiple versions of her who don't know each other. I said I'm glad she now realizes it's wrong and asked her to send flowers or something with an apology note to Mary's house. I also mentioned that I offered to pay for the next baby shower and she told me to insist that she pays it all and not half.

I said I'm fine with splitting it. She also said she would bake a cake and go to Mary personally to apologize. I told her Mary is leaving town for a week so that we'll have to wait until she gets back. But she did send a lengthy text with a sincere, in my opinion, apology. Mary responded saying my wife didn't need to apologize

and that she understands what happened and thanked her for attending her baby shower. Mary also apologized for leaving without saying goodbye to my wife and the rest of the guests. You see how nice Mary and Frank are? Jesus Christ. Oh, piece of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We decided on both individual and couples therapy soon. Anyone know if it's okay to do them simultaneously? She wants to but I'm not sure it's a great idea. It was a given that we would stop trying for a baby so that's definitely on hold for now. So yeah, that's it for now I guess. I've never been to therapy and neither has she so I'm hoping this is the beginning of our relationship,

getting much healthier and our individual growths as well. Thank you so much to everyone who responded. My mind is blown by how many of you did. Hope you all have a great year. Wow, that's great. Happy ending. Yeah, I love that. There you go.

I made a comment about that. Given he didn't say this is a one-off behavior because apparently she keeps acting in ways that are not conflicting with the new her or whatever he said. Still, it's good to know that she also was able to reflect and be like, the fuck did I just do? Yeah. And she is going through a traumatic time.

So yeah, I mean obviously it wasn't right but I'm just saying it's always really good when you hear that somebody can reflect on their wrongs. Yeah, I don't, it's just goofy. Like you're not infertile and it takes time. Like there's literally how much of a window for you to get pregnant. It's like during this window of the day that you ovulate.

And it's like, it's honestly a miracle that people get pregnant. Like when you think about it where it's like, oh, I just, you know, I had a one-night stand and I got knocked up and it's like, what are the eyes? What are the chances? It's really mind-blowing for me. But yeah, I think this is a happy ending.

Mary sounds like a fucking saint, love her. I wouldn't let them pay for any of my baby shower. I would just like want to be so done with her. Right, I know. Because you wouldn't want to have any type of like, what's it called? Yeah. I'm holding this over your head.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But something that you said, what I was comparing it to when she made the comment that she's been telling people that she's infertile to get used to it, even though I don't agree with that at all. But I'm kind of comparing it to not telling somebody when you're pregnant for X amount of time. You know what I mean?

Like cause we've had this conversation before and people are kind of, you know, everyone has a different view. Some people want to tell like the minute that they're pregnant. Some people want to wait until they know that they're like past. The, you know. Risky time. The risky time. So even though it's like, you shouldn't lie to people,

but that's what I'm thinking her brain was doing. Yeah. By trying to prepare herself for like the potential blow. I get that. And I'm, it just annoys me that she's almost doing it for attention and sympathy. And then kind of just, and this is like speculating. But based on this behavior, I think she would be the person

that does get pregnant. And then she's like, it's a miracle. I wasn't infertile. God, this is just a little miracle baby. And that's not right either because there are people that really do struggle with infertility and getting pregnant. And they do have miracle babies. So it's like, it just feels like another ploy.

But I don't know, mental health struggles and wanting kids, the desire to have kids, and it makes people do, she might have grown up in some like Bridgerton family, where they're like, this is the only important thing. Your worth is tied to being a mom and a good wife. Yeah. But all I can say is that, I mean, we all agree that the way she acted was fucked up.

However, it's always nice when you hear someone can reflect and apologize and own up to their wrongs. So whatever's going on in her head, whatever she does moving forward, let's just end on the fact that we're happy that she got that far. Yeah. There's some growth there. Yeah.

The thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking. I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays, and lighters. I started exercising instead of smoking. Staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key. I kept on trying, learned something each time. Do whatever it takes.

No matter how many times it takes. We did it, so can you. For free and confidential help, call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit 1-800-QUIT.ORG, developed by CDC. Okay, you guys are probably really confused if you're watching on YouTube. And as you're listening, you're going to hear another voice. But the episode was so short and I felt really bad

putting out a short episode because I don't know, it's me and I'm a perfectionist with some stuff. So called Lauren over, we're recording another story and we recruited Justin. Yeah. He's like, what about me? Say my name. I got called over too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was like, emergency, emergency. Can you guys turn me down a little bit? It's so loud. Oh, that's because Jerry uses those. Is it better? Yeah, okay, cool. Yeah, that's Jerry's setting. Okay, cool.

He's a little hard of hearing these days. But I wanted to make sure it was a good episode. You know, Valentine's Day. Thank God you're single. Bless the mess. Cage diving with sharks. I still don't have a title in it. It comes out in 9, 10, 11, 12.

It comes out in three hours. So we're recording. I'm going to race to edit and it comes out. Oh, shit. Yeah, so. Well, I was so unwound when we recorded because it was the same day that we recorded episode 100. And so I was like, can we get through this?

I got home and I literally took my temperature. I was 101. I was like. Lauren's a little trooper. You were trooping through. I was struggling. Why? I was sick.

Yeah. Like really. I'm not sick anymore. This was literally like, how long ago did we record that? Yeah. You got, did you get antibiotics too? Yeah. Yeah.

No, I'm totally fine now. They think she had strep. Oh. Justin can't get strep apparently. No. What do you mean? Why can't he get strep? He had it so many times as a kid.

He's just immune. That's, I wish I had that. I feel like I'm not sure it's, that's real. Well, Morgan didn't get sick, which like. Yeah, I was fine. That's what I was worried about. I told her beforehand, I was like, do I come over still? And she was like, we need to do it.

We need to do it. Here's what we'll do. If you get strep ever, we're going to make out hardcore make out and we'll test the theory. Okay. Cool. Okay. So let's get into this story.

That's getting cut. Absolutely not. No, that's good. That's good. Keep that in. Yeah. That's hilarious. So like I said, the theme, it's kind of all about,

it's supposed to be a Valentine's Day episode, but it's the opposite of loving and heartfelt and it's just. How I felt about Valentine's Day in New York. Yeah. Jake and I used to go out to bars, we'd party and we'd be like, being in relationships is so dumb. Why would anyone ever do that? And then we'd like party the night away and just be so happy

that we weren't like tied into anything. The best part is that you guys probably literally said those exact words. Being in a relationship is so dumb. Let's drink. Seriously. Actually though. It was great. Okay.

So this bonus one we're throwing in is titled, Am I the Asshole for Not Acting Impressed by My Wife's Accomplishment. And accomplishment is in quotes. Like accomplishment. We already, we are already getting sass, you know. My 28 male wife, 26 female, and I've been married for close to seven years.

We currently have five kids together. Six male, four male, three female, and my wife gave birth to fraternal twins. Son and daughter a year and a half ago. Oh, shit. Okay. I almost read this one for 100. Were these people born like 20 years ago, 30, 40 years ago? They might just be Mormon.

That's like our parents like getting married at like 21, like having like all like five kids before 30. I mean, she was to give math really quick. She's 26 now. They've been married for seven years. She was 19. So, and their first kid is six. Damn.

So, they started, they got married and literally started trying for kids. Wow. Yeah. So, young, young mom. Yeah. Daya. My wife intended to graduate high school the year we got married, but life got in the way.

My dad had given me an investor relations type of role at his company, so we were traveling a lot. And then after that, our kids needed our attentions. After our twins were born, my wife was bedridden for longer than we, and even the doctors expected. Since we had to hire extra hands to do the childcare task that involved mobility, my wife had some time on her hands. Her mother told her that her friend, who proctors at a testing center,

said they give GED tests basically every week, at least across the state of Idaho, and that she should dust off her general education knowledge. She started browsing her laptop and decided to roll in a GED prep class online. It seems she was better at self-paced learning than classroom learning, because the stuff they were testing her on came way easier for her now than it did even then, though she's been away from structured classroom instruction for many years now.

Even after she was back on her feet, she'd be studying for it after she dropped the older two off at their respective schools. I would see what she was studying, and it looked pretty rudimentary, and I knew that getting a GED basically means nothing, and that she probably wouldn't be able to apply it to anything career-wise or commit full-time to community college, where I doubt the job prospects for students are that great right now, either. So, my wife ended up taking the test, and the other day,

she bounded into the room and said, quote, Yes! I passed! I passed! I knew she would, since she was doing well on the practice tests and the GED consistently tests on the same rudimentary topics. I did not gripe at her, but merely nodded at her, and went back to answering an important email from a client. What the fuck? My wife seemed to get upset, and I asked her what was wrong.

She said I didn't seem that excited, and I said that it's great that she passed, but I have been telling her that it was easy and no big deal. But if she needed something to prove to herself, she knew the high school concepts. I guess the money was well spent. She got even more upset, and said she worked very hard, and this was the essential building blocks to being able to start a career. Am I the asshole?

My wife passed her GED test, but she wasn't exactly graduating from college, and wouldn't be for at least 15 years. I just didn't see any immediate applicability to her test, but I am glad she had something to challenge her while she was coming off being unable to fully care for the kids. Asshole. Biggest asshole. This is pretty obvious. If I went back to high school right now,

I don't even fucking know if I'd pass it. That shit is so far out of the realm of things that I ever deal with, that is an accomplishment. I don't remember geometry, or I'd literally... Nothing. Even to give you an example, when I was in high school, we had this one. I'm scared. Yeah, no, we had this one.

Like, I can't remember exactly what it was, but basically I had this one class where you could volunteer to go and help children. Oh, I had that too. And you help them with their homework and stuff, and you go into their schools. And so anyway, I did that. And I remember there were some times where I was like, oh my god, I'm stumped.

Emily, I have to use the bathroom. Ask her to help you. I went through this with my little brother, Taylor, because Taylor was five grades younger than me because of birthday and whatever. And so I was in my senior year, and I think he was in eighth grade, because we were never in the high school together. And he would show me his math homework,

and I was like, I'm going to have to pass on this. This is so hard. That's because school is so failed at this point. You learn things that are not applicable to anything later in life, and you learn them to get through the test, and literally by a month later, you don't know it anymore. So much of school for me was that. Even in college, I learned stuff to do the test,

and then instantly forgot it because it was irrelevant to me and what I was doing in life. But this is so much bigger than just passing this test. This is a huge relationship, communication, just connecting. Like, they're so disconnected. It's amazing how you can be that disconnected to not empower the person you're with, because shutting them down, especially in the position you're in,

as their partner, will severely knock down their confidence in everything. What's the goal here? Yeah. Even if someone like, I like when Morgan calls me, and she's like, the simplest thing, guess what? I got the last rotisserie chicken at the grocery store. Like, I can't think of a good example,

but something that's so small, and if it's making them happy, and they're excited about it, I'm going to support that because that makes me happy, at least in a normal, healthy relationship, but should. So it's so far beyond this. I bet no matter what she does, she probably doesn't get recognized for anything, and that just sucks because that kills your confidence,

that kills your relationship. I mean, there's just no reason. Yeah. If I whistle a song, and it sounds really good, my partner better fucking cheer me on, okay? It's like, that's what it's about. It doesn't matter if it's not a big deal to him, but if it's a big deal to your partner,

then what the fuck are you doing? Why would you not be happy for them? Yeah. And even if you thought it was easy, just be like, I'm so happy for you. Also, I don't know why he's acting like such a snob. Like, if you think a GED test is so easy, go take it yourself, big shot, go take it yourself.

She's been out of school for so long, and it sounds like she didn't even get the chance to finish high school. Because they got married and started popping out kids. Life happened. No, you married a 19-year-old and knocked her up, so she didn't even get the chance to finish school. You sound like a fucking creep.

Yep. And yeah, okay, you're only a couple years older, but your wife is not an oven. This isn't your maid, this isn't your daycare lady, this is your wife, your partner. You should want them to succeed. And this isn't even about easy. She's trying to start a career.

She's going to be a mom forever, but you get to a point where your kids are all in school, and you need something to do. She needs her own identity that is not wife and mom. It probably has a lot to do with that, actually. She's just trying to find her place and succeed, and have some sense of herself and who she is. But I'm saying that has a lot to do with his perspective.

And weird reactions is like some sense of control and being better then. I think that's exactly what this is. Did you catch the part where he had to say that she has been bedridden for far longer than even the doctors expected? She just had twins. Yeah, what are you trying to say here?

And this is her fourth pregnancy. Yeah, that's not easy on someone's body. Right. Okay, if the first comment doesn't say, the top comment doesn't say you are an absolute trash human, then I'm going to physically actually go comment on this one. And I have not commented on a post on Reddit yet. Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of awards on this one.

Mind blown award is one. Triple ply toilet paper award is one. I never actually thought about that with Reddit. Fresh F award. I am disappointed award. There's awards that, there's bad awards. Face palm award. Like literally there's a bunch of awards

that are essentially being like, go fuck yourself. I didn't know there were bad awards. I like it. Yeah, so overall vote is asshole. Good. Top comment, lots of awards, big red box, 49,000 upvotes. You're the asshole. You're a major asshole.

Your wife is trying to look after five children and found the time to get her GED. Why don't you let her go out of town for a week and see how hard it is to look after five small children? Would it have killed you to get up and hug her and tell her how proud you are of her? Maybe take her out to dinner one night to celebrate. Wow.

I hope this isn't in, I'm blanking on this word, indicative. Indicative. Indicative. The respect you give her the rest of the time. Seriously. And I think something to consider too about like when your partner shares stuff with you, it doesn't matter how big or small.

It's literally going back to the book we talked about so much when we first started this podcast by John Gottman. And John Gottman is like this love therapist. He's unreal. He predicts divorce with like 95% accuracy just by spending like 30 minutes with a couple. And John talks about bids. And bids are these small little interactions

between a couple where it's a partner looking to connect. And this was a bid. This was her trying to connect with him, have him be excited and he slammed the door in her face. It's almost even bigger than that. It feels bigger. It's hard to even just call it a bid. A bid to me is like, hey, what are you up to?

Just go in the grocery store you want to eat. It's small things. This is big. This is a big deal to her. Bids can be everything. Oh, okay. Okay. Well, and people are saying too, they're like,

take her out to dinner and all like, could you get up and say congratulations? Whatever. It's like, let's even start smaller. The fact that he didn't just say, I'm so happy for you. Just nods. Just nods.

The fact that he couldn't even just say, I'm so happy for you. You know what I mean? That is so in the negative, complete opposite direction that his reaction, it's not even like... It wasn't even the bare minimum of like, good job, babe. Yeah, exactly. He actually went the exact opposite way

and rubbed it in her face and said, oh, like it's hard? Yeah. Like, it's no big deal. It's easy. It's like, okay. Heaven forbid she do something, accomplish something. Like, come on. Like this isn't Elle Woods in Legally Blonde.

I know that's what I just thought. That's why I made me laugh. This is your wife who is just trying to do something for herself for once. I wonder where his, does he respond to anything? Like there's clearly some type of resentment or some type of, I don't know, something going on with him to think that this is normal.

Account suspended. I'll scroll and see if there's any comments. Well, certainly not the first time. Yeah. This is definitely not. Yeah. Like, you just wonder how she deserves so much better. Literally.

The fact that he wrote in and was just like, am I the asshole? What? How are you confused on this? But we know people like this are real. Like we see, we see guys with mics on TikTok all the time. Yeah. Like these people exist.

I know. Maybe he's just got his head so far up his ass that he doesn't realize his wife can be other things than just a mom and a wife. I mean, it's, it's pretty, pretty, this is a big fucking bummer for me, this story. The next comment down goes, right, a supportive partner celebrates all accomplishments,

no matter how small they may seem to them. And honestly, I wouldn't even call this small. I don't understand where you got this, quote, she wasn't exactly graduating from college. And wouldn't be for 15 years. Or why you think community college is basically useless. Most community colleges offer an ADN program, associate nursing degree,

and many others that don't require further education. This is just one example of a great career she could have with only two years of community college. Weird take to belittle your wife's work in trying to receive a higher education. I'm getting quote, I want to keep her home and controlled vibes. Nailed that one. Yeah.

It's a very sad theme that keeps coming up. Yeah. And I, I agree with so much of what this person said. I mean, if she was able to get her GED in a couple of months, I think college is not a 15 year task for this woman. She sounds extremely bright, hardworking, driven. She can fucking multitask, taking care of five kids and studying for a GED

and passing on the first go. Well, it doesn't matter how long it takes. Doesn't. She's 26. She's a young, young woman. People don't get out of med school until like the mid 30s. Yeah. So it's like who's, you're not even behind.

No. And there's no sense of being behind anymore. I know. We need to throw that out the window. Okay. We really do. I don't think age should define anyone. I, I mean, my mom went back to school for her CNA at like 48.

Like it's never, you can, you can always change what you're doing in your life. That's the beautiful thing about it. Yeah. But you're taught so heavily that you can't. It's so weird. You need to decide the rest of your life starting at like 18. And that's, I don't like that.

I don't, I don't think we should force these choices. Like I've said, gap years are crucial, but it's never too late to go back to school. I have so many friends that where I'm from, like Duluth, Minnesota is like a very big medical town. And most of my friends went to the community college for their nursing. Like one of my best friends from high school alley went to school for nursing, got done, has an amazing career, amazing career, makes great money,

has financial independence. Like one thing I would love to see this woman do is create some financial independence. And get a supportive partner. Can you imagine co-parenting with this guy though, if you do get divorced? He doesn't do shit. I can already tell. Yeah. How does that work? Like at such a young age, having so many kids with somebody,

and then trying to like separate from them. Like that's what's tough is that that would be really, really hard for her to do. Not for her, like, but for any, like everyone, you know. It just might be so much healthier overall though, especially with this kind of shit. I mean, even, I don't know, maybe. Here's an actual hot take. Maybe find like a real father for your kids.

Find someone who's actually going to be supportive and not, I'm not saying be the parent that hands out a trophy for every participation, but be there to support them and support their wins. And this guy doesn't sound like he's going to do it. No. So don't not only find yourself a better partner, find a better father for your kids. It does make you wonder how he treats everybody else,

like in every, in every other aspect, because it's like, cool, like maybe this is just a one-off and he's, I don't even know, like malfunctioning. But if this is how he acts about everything, then it's like that would be really miserable for everyone to be involved with kids and, and partner. It's hard for me to even think of it as a one-off though, because to blatantly do that is a choice.

This isn't, this isn't, oh babe, like I screwed up once, like I, I was in a wrong headspace or whatever. This is so blatant and it can't be the, it can't be singled out. There's no way this is just like a mistake. I know. And you wonder like what it is, if it's like jealousy or just, like again, being worried that she could get closer to being like financially independent and then what use is he,

like because that's his role. Like I don't know what, what that, what would prompt a reaction like that. Control. Insecurity. Like insecurity. I mean, it sounds like this guy's a real pill, but like another story I was going to share on this theme

is titled, am I the asshole for getting frustrated with my girlfriend who's just instantly good at everything, including rock climbing apparently. And it was a story about this person who has a girlfriend. They'll try various activities and hobbies, whatever, and she's good. And so they went rock climbing and she picked it up really quickly. And it's like he's jealous and insecure about it.

And so he just made this whole deal about it. And it's, it's another interesting story, but we, we obviously all deal with our insecurities, but when you are in a long-term committed relationship, like you need to get over yourself and your insecurities at some point and be the supportive partner that your significant other deserves. Yeah.

Shut like that would be hot to me. It's like if I, if I was really good at something, like grew up snowboarding, like every day in the winter. And if we went snowboarding for the first time and you like hit some jump to the backflip, I'd be like, that's fucking dope. I can't even backflip. We did go. I'm not, I don't, I'm too old for the tricks nowadays. No, you can hold your own, but I'm just,

I'm trying to make a comparison. I'm, I'm, I am really good at rock climbing. Yeah. I mean, if we went and did that and you beat my ass up there, like just whipping around like spider-man, I'd be like, that's dope. I wouldn't be like, oh, my feelings are hurt. I'm scared. I'm scared. You guys, I have an example actually, like to build off of that.

I was playing darts with somebody recently and I've never played darts before. Like I've thrown a dart at the fucking wall, but like I haven't played darts. I didn't know how to play. And so he's teaching me how to play and like what you need to do, like what we need to get. And I didn't realize you have to get like three of each of these ones. And then three of the bull's-eyes. And I was like, what the fuck?

Like, like the darts is hard. I know. And I got one bull's eye and I was freaking out. I was like, I'm good now. And he's like, you need two more. And I was like, what? And so anyway, well, the story is that I had never played before and I was beating him and he was like, are you like, what's that word when people like played like a shark?

Yeah, like play them. Like kind of just like, like pretend they're bad with a shark. Yeah. Yeah. So he like jokingly said that. But anyway, like I was beating him by like a lot. And then at the very, very end he caught up and he ended up winning by one bull's eye. But I got all of them, which was, it made it so fun.

And I don't know how that happened. That's insane. I know. It's like literally hit or miss with me with like bowling and like pool and stuff. Like sometimes I'm really good and sometimes I'm really bad. And so I was just like, this is next time we play, like it's probably going to go into like the sideways wall. But like right now, like this is really cool.

And so he was like, I am so, I just can't believe I'm so happy for you. He's like, I need to take a picture of this and send this to my friends. And he's like, honestly, I need to keep this sheet. He's like, this is amazing. He's like, I'm so impressed right now. You don't even know. Like he's like, yeah.

He's like, you seriously have never played before? And he's like, oh my God. He's like, you were so close to beating me. Like that was so incredible. Like that. This is a keeper. Right. Like that is the type of person that you want. Like it was so fun.

It wasn't just like, oh, like I can't have her beat me. You don't need me to get like butt hurt about it. Which some dudes do. I've seen so many stories about people where they go on this first date and like do an activity and the guy gets like butt hurt that he doesn't win or like whatever. I've seen it like movies too. Oh, it's a common plot.

But that's it. And now the episode is going to transition to the wholesome palette cleanser. Oh, it starts with this. It's going to go in the middle of some stories. Oh, shit. Okay. It's going to feel probably really weird. Oh, before the wholesome palette cleanser.

It's going to feel very weird. My mood was so different. And now I'm like, what the fuck? It's going to be really, it's going to be good though. I just, I couldn't leave the people hanging with a short episode. It felt weird. There might come a day.

There might come a day, but not today. Not today. Okay. Moving along. Moving along. Justin. What? Say moving along or something. Moving along.

Or say goodbye. I don't know. Goodbye. Thanks for having me for a story. Thanks for having me for a story. Anything else? I think you got it. Yeah.

Until next time. Until next time. Until next story. Until next story for me and Morgan. Anyway. Get to the stories. Cheerio. Okay. Are we ready?

Wholesome palette cleanser. Hell yeah. So this is from True Off My Chess, posted eight hours ago. My girlfriend whispered something to me when she thought I was asleep. Because of my job, I always wake up way earlier than my girlfriend. Literally two hours earlier.

So I also have to go to bed way earlier than her to get enough sleep. Yesterday evening when I went to bed, I couldn't really sleep because I had an important event today at work that made me nervous. So I was still awake when my girlfriend went to bed. I was really hot.

Yes, even during winter. So I slept without my blanket. I thought about talking to her, but something told me to keep my eyes closed. And I did. She took the blanket and covered me with it. Then she kissed me on the forehead. And then she said it.

She whispered it. She said every single word. Some people might say it's too cheesy, but I don't. And I can remember every single word. I love you. I love you so much. I love you more than anything in the world.

I love you more than words can express. You make me laugh. You make me happy. You make me feel loved. I've never liked the idea of getting married, but you changed my mind. I want to stay with you forever. I'd rather die than live without you.

My life isn't complete if you're not in it. Wow. I love you. Why didn't she say that when he was awake? Then she kissed my forehead again, and I tried my best not to let her know I was awake, which was hard because I teared up. After that, she went back to her side of the bed

and laid down. I only then opened my eyes. I laid there for at least a half an hour until she started snoring and I knew she was asleep. I got up, went to the bathroom, and cried my eyes out. Why are you guys being secretive? This was the most wonderful thing I've ever heard.

I've never felt so much love in my life. After many years of bullying, my self-confidence was so destroyed that I didn't know if I deserved to be loved, let alone that anyone could love me like that. What made it even more special was the fact that my girlfriend had a bad past and had a lot of trouble showing her feelings on the outside.

Even with me, she had a hard time being vulnerable sometimes, and the fact that she said this when she thought I couldn't hear her means that what she said came from her heart. Oh, yeah, that's true. Oh, that's so cute. That was really cute.

Top comment. Tell her you heard. Mary Hurd's got to happen. That's absolutely beautiful. It is beautiful. No comments from OP yet, but that is the perfect way to end this. It really is.

This Valentine's Day episode. Oh, man, you're putting this on Valentine's Day? No, because Valentine's Day is on a Tuesday this year, so it'll be the Thursday before. Okay, cool. Yeah. It's kind of a harsh one for Valentine's Day. Remember, what was it, two years ago now?

We did a Valentine's Day episode, and then I think trashed it. Yeah, trashed it. I like deleted, deleted it. I don't even know if I have it. Why was it so bad? I don't, and honestly, I don't even think it was bad. I just think we were so hard on ourselves.

That was literally the second episode. We had no idea what we were doing, and so I think it was like, we thought it was bad, but it probably wasn't bad. I'm going to have to go look at all my hard drives and see if I can find it now. You were like, I want to trash it, and I was like, yeah. Because you were like, I don't like it.

Oh, yeah. We were struggling at the beginning. So yeah, we did that. But I feel like Valentine's Day, if you're not in a relationship, it always just felt like really hard. It just felt like, at least for me, it felt like a really like,

jarring reminder, like, yeah, you're single, which there's nothing wrong with that. And we've talked about it a bunch, how much we love being single, and it was some of the best years ever, and it was a good time. Obviously, I'm very happy right now, but like, there's nothing wrong with being single.

You know, I have no idea, but I've never had a hard time with Valentine's Day. Never. I'm honestly, I could be an anomaly. I'm very sensitive. No, no, a lot of people talk about that. Like, you see it like all the time on the internet and stuff, but like, I don't know, it's never phased me.

But also, I think I've told you this, but my mom would always like decorate for every single holiday. So I would wake up, I'd go downstairs, there's like pink tablecloth, there's like a heart-shaped glitter everywhere, things hanging from our ceiling. There was like heart-shaped pancakes

and just like candy everywhere and like cute teddy bears. And I would draw like a little heart on my face. And to me, like, it's just another day to like get festive and have fun. So I've never, I never grew up with it being like, oh, you need to have a partner to enjoy this day. No, it wasn't ever about like a relationship for you, it was more just another fun holiday

where you got like cute treats and stuff. Yeah, that's, yeah, that's cute. And that's a really good thing to instill with your kids too. I agree. My mom would come to our lockers and she'd put like flowers and like put all this stuff in there. And then she would write like from your secret admirer. And then everyone would be like, who's it from?

And I'd be like, a secret admirer. Knowing it's from my mom, but. That's so cute though. I love that. Yeah, so I don't know. Moral of the story here is like, thank God you're single, bless this mess, cage diving with sharks, whatever this one gets titled.

Just it's okay wherever you are in life. And if you haven't found your person yet, or you don't even want to find your person, that's okay. Call Morgan because she really has some great dating ideas, dating show ideas. So it's going to be a good year when Lauren's really ready to commit to matchmaker Morgan. It's going to be good.

It's going to be good. It's going to be a lot of fun. Maybe I'll rope all 100 in first. Yeah, she's going to be a more stubborn one. I'm going to be like, sure. I'm ready, dude. I'm so ready. After I feel better, then I'll go on dates that you choose for me.

Yeah. Amazing episode. Be sure to head over to Patreon. There's going to be some amazing Patreon content in February. Charity of the week. I'm going to let Lauren pick. So yeah, you have a couple of weeks to prepare. So you can find a good one.

Okay, cool. Because you're passionate about only guide. Oh, what is it going to be? The turtles. Oh, save the turtles. We've got to find a good nonprofit. I just bought a hat that you can do your little microchip thingy. Okay.

And that shows you which turtle that your money is going towards. Who knows how legit it is, but it's going to make me have a good time. We'll investigate, but that will be Lauren's week. Other than that, Justin has a new show that's out. Saw that. Yeah, it's called Cracking the Copyright. It's a music podcast that you're going to be introduced to really cool up and coming writers, artists, just amazing people

and kind of get a sneak peek into the songwriting process and what that looks like. He's had some amazing, amazing guests so far and the ones coming up are really cool too. So the link for his show will also be in the description. You guys have talked about this for a while forever. I'm excited. Also, did you decide what the intro music is?

For his? Yeah. It's good. Oh, is it different from then? Okay, cool. Oh yeah, I made him spruce it up. Hell yeah. I was like, Justin, that's not, you can do better.

Hell yeah. But that's all I have for you guys on this episode of Two Hot Takes. Thank you for coming on. Thank you. We love you guys. We love you. Until next time, guys. Until next time.

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