Two Hot Takes - 107: What Did I Just Hear?..

Episode Date: March 23, 2023

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Lauren!! This episode features stories that make you question what you're hearing or in my case reading.. But this episode starts with a longer intro as Lauren shares a WTF moment she encountered the day before recording. Skip to 12:15 if you want to jump in to the stories. Watch our Iceland Travel Vlog!!! https://youtu.be/FISXcwnw49E Nonprofit of the week: https://theoceancleanup.com Morgan on Sarah Schauer's BCC Club Episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDYRTWSB4Dw&t=532s Patreon for bonus content:  https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Our SubReddit to Submit YOUR Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes Partners: Gametime: Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code THT for $20 off your first purchase. Article: Article.com/THT Honey: Joinhoney.com/THT

Hi, Jan from Toyota speaking. Jan, I heard it's a good time to buy a Toyota. Sure is. From now until April 4th, you can shop all your favorites, like Corolla, RAV4, Sequoia, and more. Imagine yourself in a new tundra where... You stopped by the home improvement store and finally built that tree house you promised your daughter.

Sarah? When did you hop on the call? Hi, Dad. Mom said you were taking too long on the phone. Toyota, let's go places. See your participating Toyota dealer for details. Dealer inventory may vary. Do you want this to be our intro? Are we recording right now? It's rolling on both.

Oh, wow, okay. So it doesn't have to be. Like, I can cut it, but... No, it doesn't. It's fine. It's like, it's just... I don't even know how to explain, like, how weird, like, what. It was so weird, but I was in home goods. And... So this guy kind of kept going, like, bumping past me. And I thought that I was probably in his way, so I was like,

I'm sorry, and we're both looking in the pillow section. And then finally he was like, the pillows are just so hard to decide, aren't they? And I was like, yeah, I wish I had one of my friends here to help me pick. And he's like, well, maybe we can help each other out. And I was like, well, I don't know. I can't even figure it out for myself. And he's like, well, I feel like you'd be able to help me.

And he's like, what do you think about this? And I was like, yeah, that looks nice. And mind you, I'm still looking for my pillows. So I'm like, still, he's asking me questions. And then he was like, so I'm from Argentina. And he's like, and it's a part of our traditions and customs to, if you help me out, then I will pay for everything in your cart. So at first I'm like, this sounds like a good deal.

But I still was like, I was like... Add stuff to cart immediately. But what was funny is because I had a shit ton of stuff in my cart that I was planning on returning to see what looked best. And so I was like, no, you don't need to do that because I still felt kind of weird about it. But he's like, no, I would really like to if you allow me to. And then he's like, I just always like to make new friends.

He's like, could I get your number? And then, oh, I hate that I did this, but I'm always so bad at telling people no. In the moment, I just never want to make anyone feel embarrassed or awkward. And so I gave him my number. I was like, sure, yeah. And then he's like, cool, if you could help me out. And then after I gave him my number,

he started saying things that I was just like, this is scary me. And he's like, you just make me very, very excited. And was looking me up and down when he was saying it. And I was like, thank you so much, just still playing it off. And then he was like, it's a part of my tradition that when we do these, and he called them a shopping date, he was like, shopping dates. And he's like, I would love to go on another one with you too.

And he's like, but it's a part of my tradition that we will cuddle in the store. And I was like, I don't feel comfortable with that. And he's like, I don't bite, like let me show you. And he's like grabbing a blanket. And I was just like, run. Yeah. So it basically, a lot of weird things like that. So we go to the checkout together.

And then he says, I forgot my wallet. And so then I'm like, I'm being scammed. And I said, oh, no, that's, that's okay. But I, he put all his stuff in my cart. Yeah. And so anyway, he said, but I have it on my phone. And so I might, I'm just going to like see if it works. I've never tried this before.

He has an iPhone. It works. But he buys his stuff first, his own stuff to see if it would work. And so anyway, I did it and I checked out. I didn't want him to pay at this point. At this point. I just wanted to get away from it. And I was just trying to be as casual about it as possible.

But anyway, so he then was like, oh my gosh, you paid. I didn't even notice. And I was telling him, like, totally fine. Sure. Yeah. But then we start walking out and it was the parking lot. It's so dark that I was like, and I had this bad feeling in my gut. And I was just like, I'm actually waiting for a friend to pick me up.

So I said, you did that. Yeah. So smart. So I stayed in the store. Yeah. I stayed in the store for a while. I started shaking at this point because there was just a lot of other micro weird interactions. Well, yeah.

And you're like, am I being sex trafficked? Exactly. Is he going to kidnap me? Don't know what's going on. And it was a really one of those things where I just kind of thought that he was like kind of awkward and shy and trying to hit on me. And I just wanted to be polite. But then I was like, is he being awkward because he's nervous about what he's trying to do?

Yeah. And so then that's where I started feeling weird about it. And he said, okay. And then get this. I just told myself I'm probably over overreacting and that he was probably just hitting on me and probably was just shy. And then I looked up his number. Like, and I know all of the different sites that you can look up numbers because he texted

me and said, next time you're not bringing your wallet to our next shopping date. If you wanted to pay that bad, you easily could have. I hate when people do that. Oh God. I really want. Okay. Anyway, sorry. No, it's fine.

It's beside the point. Well, that's why I thought it was weird too. I was like, he insisted so much. If you want to pay, you'll pay. I denied him like eight times when he was like, no, no, no, I want to buy what's in your cart. And then when we get up there, he's like, oh, I don't have my wallet. So that, that was weird to me.

I was like, wouldn't you like make sure you have your wallet before you insist. But like, anyway, that's besides the point. So then I look up his number. It's a fake number. He had an iPhone, right? If I go to like text him back, it's green. And the number doesn't work anywhere. It's like the ghost, like the ghost text app.

Like, yeah, it's a number where you can't track it. It's like a burner phone, like number. And so then anyway, my roommate also called on star six, like the private number. The private number. And whenever it's a fake number like that, it goes like makes weird noises. Did that. So now I'm like really freaked out. You got really lucky.

Well, he didn't see your car. He doesn't know where you live that we know of. You can like track everything online from a phone number. It's crazy. It's, yeah, you can, but like, you're fine. Well, you're fine. Anyway, I've, yeah, I'm still kind of like sketched out by that. I actually ended up like, yeah.

Well, no wonder you couldn't sleep and you slept bad. Oh yeah. And I was, but I think like, I mean, me personally, I overanalyze a lot of interactions on a day-to-day basis. And always trust your gut, like for everyone out there, like always trust your gut. But I think it's sad as women, like that is very clearly a scary interaction. I don't think there's any ifs, ands, or buts about that one. But on a daily basis, women or people that identify as women, present as women, whatever you want to include in this group. We often have to think, is this just a genuinely nice person right now?

Or do they have ulterior motives? Right. Is this actually dangerous? Are they being helpful or are they dangerous? And I have a story today that is like, it speaks volumes to that. Really? God, like your story that you just told right now fits into the theme of like, what the fuck did I just hear? What the fuck did I just read?

And then the concern for me too, is that the fact that I called my friend that lives in Argentina, who's born and raised in Argentina, and asked him if any of this was a part of an Argentinian tradition. He's like, no. And he was like, run. Yeah. And he's like, what? He's like, Argentinian? He's like, no, absolutely not.

There's so many things wrong with that. So I don't know what was going on at all. But all I know is that I didn't feel good about it. No. If you ever feel unsafe, and you can always call me and I'll actually pick your ass up. If something like that happens, no one should ever feel like that. The best part is that I was thinking about, so I wanted to wait, because he mentioned maybe going to Marshall's too. He's like, we could go to Marshall's next, or whatever it was next door.

You almost wanted to go and see if he was there? No, I was scared that he was going to either like, wait in his car, be at Marshall's. So then if he was just a genuine guy, and I looked like an asshole being like, my friend's picking me up, and then he's like, going to Marshall's and then watches me get into my car. Like, I didn't want to be a dick either. So I waited for quite a while. But then I was thinking about asking someone, but I didn't want to be dramatic, or asking someone at the store to walk into my car.

And then I saw this big group of people walking out to their car that was next to mine, because my car was way in the corner where there was no other cars. Of course, I parked there. It always works like that. Yeah, so I was like, was someone watching me the whole time? Did they know that I was very secluded? And so once this big group of people walked out to their car, then I ran into my car. But then the best part is, is that I was trying to go so fast,

that I dumped my entire everything in my purse out on the floor. So then my hair is in front of my face, and I'm like, picking it up really quickly. And I'm just like, oh my God, this is a scene. This is a scene right now where this is where bad things happen. Oh my God. But anyway, so hopefully that's all good. But I think the moral of that story is that just, I don't think I'll ever give someone my number to be nice again. I think I'll just say like, I'll take your number.

Yeah. And this is like, it's coming up so, so much recently where a girl gets asked to prom and she says no. And the internet was like, oh, she should have just said yes to not hurt his feelings. Oh, she should have just gone with him to prom. She should have said yes. And it's like, why? Why are we so careful about hurting boys' feelings that we're willing to sacrifice our girls in the process? It is okay to say no.

No is a full sentence. Yeah. Teach your daughters to advocate for themselves and hold their ground and say no. Mm-hmm. And bottom line. I know. That's such a good point. It's fine saying no.

But it's scary as women because when we do say no, we could face repercussions because these little boys have not been told no and grew up to be men that can't take no for an answer. Yeah. And so it's, it's scary. Yeah. This is why we need to raise our children better. Mm-hmm. It's okay if someone tells you no.

Yeah. Respect it. It's just not the right person for you. Move on. I know. It is so weird that it's hard to. And I think that the other thing too is that like, I mean, I, I feel like I was taught a lot to not be the one to pursue. Like I wasn't taught the one to go and ask someone out to a dance or ask someone out on a date.

I was taught that I just need to like wait for it. So I don't, I also don't know that like opposite, you know, way of being rejected by asking somebody because it's like more of just the rejection of not being asked. You know what I mean? And so it's just a, it's a weird dynamic because we definitely were ingrained that a lot back, you know, like 20, 30 years ago. It's the gender roles. Yeah. I'm like so into this right now because I'm recording with Griffin Maxwell Brooks tomorrow and they are just this amazing creator who really is like breaking down gender roles. And like I went off on a rabbit hole today looking at like their interview with Vice talking about like what it's like to be a man and what is masculinity.

And it's just, it's so interesting the box we have built for ourselves and no one's happy with this box, but yet we're not changing it. Right. Or we're trying so hard to change it and we're not getting anywhere. Right. It's very interesting. But let's get into this eye bleach today. You know, I kind of, I, the fact that I didn't have my headphones on made me kind of forget that we're on the podcast. We're just talking.

We just out here. I just love the headphones. They make me feel like I'm in another world. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Is that normally when I'm here, I'm like, okay, we're, we're doing something different. Show business. But just now talking to you, I'm like, this is just you and I on the couch, just he like having combos.

I love it. Well, are you okay? Yes. Okay. He hears this and then he, I'll kick his ass. The fake number is really what derailed me. Like you got out. We're going to manifest positivity.

He's not a psychopathic murderer. We're good. Yeah. Okay. We got this. Nice. Nice. Okay.

Let's dive in. Let's do it. Okay. So based on your story and the monologue we just took at the beginning of this episode, let's start off with this story I saw the other day. And it's honestly like really scary puzzling. And I'm not sure what this person was thinking. Trigger warning on this story though, you guys, it does contain mentions of suicide.

This is coming from relationship advice. It was posted about 25 days ago, 2000 upvotes at this point in time, 845 comments. So smaller, I would say it didn't go as big as some of them go on here. But just, just wait guys, just wait. My 24 male girlfriend, 23 female is staying at her sister's 27 female until I quote admit I have a problem and get psychiatric help. This all started earlier last year. My parents were going through a rough divorce and my dad attempted suicide, which left him

not all there mentally, even though he survived. I basically had to take care of him and it brought me a lot of stress as I am a full time PhD student, living off a stipend and nothing more. Between that and my girlfriend's income, we lived decently in the city we're in. But there's not much room for this kind of responsibility financially. It definitely took a toll on me. And I got really depressed after a while and started struggling with severe insomnia. I guess that is where this all took the biggest turn.

My girlfriend was very supportive at first and even when I was dealing with that, she understood. I've done my best to keep her out of it, which is why I initially started sleeping on the couch to not disturb her with my tossing and turning. Eventually, I just gave up on sleep altogether and started going on night drives. She was aware of this and didn't have any issues with it, but eventually I started to be gone for hours and she was getting worried. Understandably, I guess. We had a talk about it last month and I explained what I usually do to her in hopes of clearing her mind.

This is the part of the situation that I admit is difficult to explain. Basically, after I'd been going on these night drives for a while, there was one night where I came across a young woman crying outside of a gas station. I felt bad for her and had nowhere to be, so I stopped to see if she was okay. Turns out she was a minor, 16, and had a bad home situation. I offered to give her a ride somewhere because that part of town, or really any at 3 a.m., isn't particularly safe for an underage girl to be walking around and she hesitantly accepted. I drove her to some house on the other side of town and that was all there was to that specific interaction.

The girl was obviously nervous the whole time, as I guess any teenage girl would be in a strange man's car, but I really just wanted to help. And it felt good seeing her relief when I actually took her where she wanted to go. So, basically after that, I started driving around at night and looking for other girls, slash women, that were by themselves and might need a ride. It took a while to actually find someone, which I guess is good, but eventually I did, and it just kind of became a night hobby where I would drive around and give these girls rides whenever I could find them, especially on the poorer side of town.

I started to do this regularly. I can admit it's a weird thing, and a lot of people may wonder why I just didn't Uber or something, but that isn't the same. I specifically enjoyed helping people I felt actually needed it, and I got this unexplainable enjoyment out of seeing them go from anxious to relieved every time they got out of my car. Does he hear it? I explained that to my girlfriend, and she said it sounded extremely predatory, which I was confused by because I never even touched any of these girls,

especially since several of them were underage and I'm not like that. She said it didn't matter if I did or not, though, and it was just inherently predatory slash weird. We had a big argument, but eventually we made up, and I agreed to just stop going on night drives altogether. That was about a month ago, and things were awkward the entire time, but we lived together fairly peacefully until earlier this week. I ran into some unexpected financial trouble last week when I suddenly needed new tires, and it put me in a bit of a bind with taking care of my dad and all. I ended up having to take on more credit card debt to get everything done,

and basically after that, I was just extremely stressed and ended up doing another night drive. I didn't even pick up any girls, but my girlfriend was waiting for me when I got home around 5am, and we got into a big fight. She thinks I've been doing all that again. I haven't. This was my first drive in general in all that time, and she ended up just leaving to go stay with her sister. Basically, she said she's willing to work things out, but I need to get psychiatric help and, quote,

stop preying on vulnerable women even if I think it's harmless as a means of coping. I am already seen a therapist, so I don't really know what else to do. I don't see that earlier behavior as predatory at all, and I haven't even done that in, like, a month anyways. She just doesn't believe me. What more can I do besides continuing therapy? Whoa. Okay, so this is actually kind of crazy because on Sunday, we went horseback riding altogether, and then you were busy, so you went home,

but I was at Alhondra's house until, like, decently late. When I left her house, you know she lives in a very neighborhood, like a white picket fence neighborhood, and there was a woman who was wearing underwear and a t-shirt and heels walking in the middle of the street, and my first reaction was fear, and then my second reaction was help. But she didn't, like, do anything crazy, like, please help me kind of thing. She just kind of, like, waved her hand as if she was looking to get, like, picked up

for hailing a cab, hailing a cab, exactly. And so I kept going, but then part of me was thinking, well, like, what if she was in this situation where someone drugged her, and then I could have helped her, and then I went through this whole scenario in my head, and then I thought, like, how, you know, now I'm feeling guilty, and how I would have felt so good if I could have helped somebody. So I can see where he gets this, like, got this, like, this feeling of, like,

it felt so good for him to help somebody kind of thing, and then wanted to repeat that feeling and feel like a hero. The thing that I also thought, though, is why this is scary, is because as we just talked about everything, you also don't want to train people, especially if they're young girls, like, 16-year-old girls, that it's okay to get into a stranger's car, especially if they just, like, look nice or dress nice. Like, that doesn't always mean that they're, you know, nice.

So it's like, I think that it's, there's something with, I've heard about animals, too, that even though it's, you know, if an animal comes up to you and you give them food and whatnot, then they're starting to learn and train that humans are safe, but then that actually puts them in more danger because that makes them more easily hunted or... Yeah. Well, and that's the case, right? It's like, if this, you know, 16-year-old goes out again

after a bad home situation, and it's like, well, the first time I got a ride from a stranger, it worked out okay. Exactly. This is how many, many women end up murdered. Yep. And even men, there is a, what they think is a serial killer in Chicago right now, and there have been many men that have ended up dead recently, and the common denominator is they get in a car with a stranger.

They're drunk. Yep. Yeah, so, and I was in self-defense classes in college. It was like an extra... I love that. I love that. Yeah. Love that. So, one of the things is that the reason that the person who, she was a woman and the reason she decided to teach this class is because of the fact that she had an experience where she was either, I can't remember now,

but mugged or somebody tried to take her. Yeah. And so she wanted to be able to know how to get away. So she got really into self-defense classes and then wanted to turn around and teach that to people that are in college campuses that are, you know... That's amazing. Yeah. So, what happened throughout all of her training is she had so many stories from all these people

who the reason they decided to come to self-defense classes is because of, you know, their experiences. And one of the things she said is that, like, people always think that you need to be, like, worried about, like, someone who's, like, really grungy and, like, you know, like, as if that... But she's, like, there was... Apparently, this guy had a really expensive car,

really nice suit, like, his hair was parted perfectly, and he, like, pretended to help this girl who was, you know, whatever, pulled over on the side of the street. And she thought, of course, like, of course. Anyway, like, this guy ended up being a serial killer. Like, something crazy. And the fact that she got away was an actual miracle.

But, like, her point in telling us this is that, like, we, you know, when we're younger, people keep telling us that, like, oh, like, it's, you know, the way that they... their body language, you'll know. But it's just, like, no, like, people... The best... The people that are the best at it are the ones that look like they're so cleaned up.

Yeah. So... Or they just, like, they need help. They, like, feign an injury or, like, a disability of some sort. And they were needing help. Hey, my tire's broke. Can you help me? Which I remember on an earlier episode, I think we talked about Ted Bundy

and how he was attractive and nice-looking. And that's how he got a lot of his victims. We... I believe someone in the comments corrected us or I learned about this later. But Ted Bundy actually got his victims by pretending he was injured, needed help, helped me. And, you know, you just don't know with people.

And it's sad that we have to be on edge so much in our society. But that's the reality. Like, we live in a very dangerous world and we shouldn't have to live like that. We should be able to go on night walks as a woman. But I don't feel comfortable doing that. It is... It's scary.

And so this guy, like, I get where his head's at. And it's really interesting because he is a caregiver in his life. He has to take care of his dad. And so it's interesting that he then, what makes him feel good, is caregiving. The thing that, like, really scares me about this is, like, I get this unexplainable enjoyment

out of seeing them go from anxious to relieved every time they got out of my car. That is weird. You're not only... You're getting... You're getting off on them going from scared to relieved. It's not just the fact that you're helping people. You're getting off on the feeling of watching them be anxious and scared and on edge to relieved

the minute they get out of your car. So do you think that there's something, like, deep going on with him? I find it, like, hard to believe there's not. I don't think he knows even. I think he is, like... I don't think he is really... Like, diving?

What the fuck is that word? Dove? I don't think he's even dove into, like, what's really going on in his head and what. He's getting out of these interactions, but it does not seem right. I think there's other ways to be a good person and help. Right. Senior citizens need rides to the pharmacy,

the doctor on a daily basis, and there's organizations you can volunteer with to do that. Yeah. Well, so I would just like to say to you, like, if I were dating this person, I would have the same reaction. I'd be, like, creeped out, pissed off, like, not okay with it, especially doing behind my back in the beginning.

But then the only reason why I'm not quick to being, like, there's something, like, really deep going on is because I think about when I watch those videos with, like, like, I can't remember his name right now, but there's somebody that does them a lot where, like, he goes around and he gives people that are homeless, you know, hundreds of dollars, or, like, the first person that will help him in a store.

Yeah. And the feeling that I feel watching this person, like, being in their own world or whatever, like, the extreme, like, like, crying of, like, being like, you don't even know how much I needed this. And then I'm crying, and I'm like, why do I feel so good by that? Why do I feel so good watching that person just, like,

go from, like, you know, neutral or sad or whatever, too happy? And, like, it's, like, that act of kindness that makes, it's just, like, to watch how that can really, like, help somebody. So the fact that he kind of fell into it, it's not like he was, like, I'm gonna go on a mission to, like, go and, you know, like, it's, like...

Yeah. So, I mean, I have no idea without, like, more context, but I'm, I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but, like, I also, I don't, I don't know. There could be something deeper going on. Well, and if you think about it from that lens, maybe him being out there and being the good person that isn't going to murder them,

as far as we know from this story, maybe he is taking those people out of a situation that could have put them in more harm. Like, there's always that devil's advocate, and play with this, but it's just... It's a tough one. It's just very clear that it's like, this doesn't seem like a healthy coping strategy.

No. And also, when are you sleeping? Like, you're dealing with insomnia. When are you sleeping? You're taking care of your dad during the day. You're a PhD student, which is very stressful, very rigorous, very demanding, and yet you're driving at night nonstop,

because you can't sleep. Like, when are you actually sleeping? Like, you need to look after yourself, too, and I'm really happy to hear that he is in therapy, but it's weird to me that a therapist would hear this and not be like, okay, let's develop some other coping strategies for you so that when you are feeling anxious like this,

you have, you know, people. Like, get him a penpal across the world. That's in another time zone. Yeah, I always think that though, because there's just so many different types of therapists that specialize in different things. Yeah, absolutely. What kind of therapist is he going to?

And even if he's going to like a therapist who does specialize in that, like, not everyone is perfect in their profession. Yeah. So it's just like, you don't always know like what's going on just because somebody has a therapist. Yeah. But I think-

Absolutely. I guess I'm, I definitely don't think that this is the right coping mechanism at all. I think that's like a for sure thing, but I don't know if I think there's something like super deep or if it's more of just like him trying to- Yeah, I don't know. Well, the top comment on this one is like a quote

and bold. I think they're playing out a scenario based on what I'm skimming. Yes, officer. I do drive around late at night looking for young girls in the sketchy part of town. No, officer. I don't offer my help to dudes or old people.

Just young girls. No, sir. I have no outlets from my altruism other than asking vulnerable young women to get in my car at 3 a.m. Which I will say- Yeah, when he puts it that way. And I will say the fact that OP even recognizes like it didn't happen often.

So I started going to the poorer side of town. Right. That's like not just helping people that you come across. That's going out of your way. Oh, for sure. To prey on people that you know are going to need help. Like it's such a weird idea. Because it is like praying on people,

but then it's also like praying on people to help them. It's so backwards. It's so weird. It's really complex. Yeah. So this person goes on to say, you realize how quickly this could go south for you. Even if you never do a single thing wrong, right?

You got to stop. Like literally never, ever do this again. And maybe ask yourself, if you can't find some other way to scratch the altruism itch, is it really altruism motivating you? Which that's a big word for Elmo. We're going to look that up just so we all have a clear understanding of altruism.

I can't hear that word and not think about Taylor Swift's song. Is it in a lyric? Mm-hmm. How do you sing that? I can't remember right now, but it's me. I'm the problem. It's me. Altruism?

How do you even know? I can barely say it. How does she sing it? It's like covert narcissism and altruism. I don't remember right now. Okay. I can hear now. Yeah.

Altruism, the belief in or practice of disinterested and self-concerned for the well-being of others. Example, some may choose to work with vulnerable elderly people out of altruism. Got it. Oh, I think she said covert narcissism disguised as altruism. I think that's what they do. Look at you, Swiftie. Next comment down goes,

when I was in the military, I actually received a call from the police station because one of my subordinates was arrested for driving around looking to pick up girls. Granted, my subordinate was trying to pick up prostitutes at 10 a.m. no less. But if the cops catch OP, they won't believe whatever story he tries to spin. So true. And will think he is attempting to pick up underage prostitutes. Yeah, that's so true. Also, you might pick up someone, I mean, women still murder people.

Women still can drug someone and rob them. Oh, yeah. We're not in this world where men only do the crimes. There's some shady ass gals out there too. So this tourist in Columbia, he was telling me that he's from London and he was like, I come here all the time because it's so amazing. The women are so amazing. I was like, cool.

Another like weird interaction. Oh my God. I was like, cool. And then he's like, except he's like, you can't trust them. And I was like, okay. I was sitting down like eating like a hot dog. I was just like, okay, cool. Good talk, bro.

Bye. He told me that like the night prior that he just got drugged by a prostitute that he tried to pick up and that she stole absolutely everything and anything in his hotel room and that he like doesn't have anything. He didn't have like his passport. He didn't have his cell phone. He didn't have any of his cash. She like nothing stole everything.

And he's like, you got to be careful with these women. They're dangerous because maybe don't. Yeah. Okay. And like maybe just like go on porn hub. Go on only fans and pay someone for a subscription or a video chat. Like, I mean, but with what you're being, what you said, I'm like, I literally had someone just tell me this this past year that like, you know,

and I don't want to like shit on people that do sex work because obviously do you, but I'm just very perplexed with both of these stories and your story. Like, I'm at a loss for words. I think for the first time in a while. Well, I was just agreeing with what you said that somebody, you're like, women can also, you know, hurt people too, obviously. And so this guy literally just told me that story. And I was like, I'm sorry.

What did we just do to us and everyone for the first 30 minutes of this episode? I don't know. I don't know. It's not getting better guys. I'm sorry. I'm titling this something along the lines of like, what did I just read? But at the end of this, we are all going to need eyes and ear bleach. Like it is truly one of those episodes where it's like, oh my God.

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Yeah. Okay, so this is coming from Relationship Advice as well. It was actually posted four years ago now. And it's coming back up. It was reposted recently on Am I the Devil? And so it's like getting a new life. But it is titled, I pretended to have a vasectomy. Two years later and my wife is pregnant.

Interesting. Interesting move. Despicable move. So, wow. That is like coercive reproduction. She did not consent to having another child. She was bamboozled, lied to, manipulated. Yeah.

Wow. Hello Reddit. I've been a long time lurker, but I haven't posted. I'm a frequent user of this app. However, my wife doesn't really like it, but I still want to be precautious as she knows my user. So this is my throwaway account. I am going through a horrible dilemma and I'm in so deep. I have no idea what to do.

My wife and I have been married for nine years and we have two kids together and we aren't planning on having any more. Well, my wife is set on that idea, but I wanted to have at least five kids and she only wanted to have one or none. This doesn't take away from the fact that she is a great mother. It's just her preference. Going into the marriage, we sort of compromised to have maybe two or three kids. I am set on having three, but she didn't want any more. It's been five years since having the first two and around two years ago, she was hell bent on me getting a vasectomy. I wasn't comfortable with it and refused, but it became the center of our arguments.

We dated for five years before getting married. So we have been together for a total of 12 years when this occurred. Now we have been together for 14 years. These were such lovely times and I didn't want to end our relationship on this, especially since we have kids together. So I agreed to the vasectomy after months of arguing. Fast forward to now. My wife is pregnant. She doesn't know how this could have happened, but I do.

I never got the vasectomy. Oh no. Two years ago, I pretended that I got it and told her someone else took me to the appointment and I took off a week of work so I can recover from it. Wow. Okay. Went full in on that. Oh yeah. I tried to be precautioned during sex by pulling out, but it clearly didn't work.

Now my wife is furious as I told her that the vasectomy could have failed rather than telling her the truth. She is also scheduling appointments with lawyers so she can sue the practice in which I received the surgery. However, if they have the records, it will prove that I never got it. Now my wife is also thinking about having an abortion, but I am trying to convince her to drop this whole thing and if anything, this child is a miracle. What should I do now? I'm worried if I tell her the truth, then she will leave me. I don't want to lose her. She is the love of my life.

I don't know what I can do without her. I know this is my fault, but please help me on how I should go about this. Okay. Why? Why? Why? Why? I feel like I have come across so many people that have done this in relationships where it's just like because they don't want to argue, they'll just pretend and lie.

And I'm like, why? I'm not talking about my own relationship. I'm just saying that in general, hearing about other people's shit, it's like, why do people just stop lying, just say it, stand your ground and say, I'm not going to get it. If you don't want to get it, then just be like, I don't want to get it. I'm sorry. It is my body. It's my choice. I respect that you don't want to have kids anymore.

But then you need to take care of that because it's like, I don't want to. I don't want to do that to my body and I'm okay with having a kid. So this is on you. And like, stand your ground because now you are just a psychopath now. Yeah. Like truly a psychopath. Yeah. And if your wife wasn't cool with that and she left you, then that's what's supposed to happen.

That's what should happen. But no, no, no. I'm saying the before. If he was like, I'm not going to have a vasectomy and she was like, well, then we're done. We're done. Then like that's what's supposed to happen. Or like, hey, I'm going to be on birth control. Hey, thank you for telling me.

I know I cannot control your body. Right. So you know what? I'm going to go get my tubes tied. Right. Even though, even though a vasectomy is less invasive and less painful, I will do that. Right. Because everyone has a right to their own body.

Right. And that's, yeah. That's fine and dandy, but tell me that's what makes me so mad is when people just like, they'll just be like, well, I don't want to, I don't want to keep fighting. So I'm just going to lie. And it's like, no, it's not how it works. Or like, oh, I don't want her to be mad. Or like, I don't want to, I don't want her to leave me.

So I'm just going to lie. Like, no, tell the truth. And if she ends up leaving you, he ends up leaving you, whatever the situation, like, that's what's supposed to happen then. Yeah. You just got to do what's, you got to just be honest. That grinds my gears. For sure.

Well, because it is four years old, like it, it has an upvote of zero, like people downvoted the shit out of it. And I just like clicked upvote right now just to see if anything would happen. It immediately takes it off. So the top comment was deleted, but the next one down goes, this made me physically sick reading it as someone who is with someone with a vasectomy. I would be absolutely crushed if they betrayed my trust, lied to me all for their own motives. Fess up now as this lie will become deeper and deeper.

Yeah. So after a vasectomy, you're supposed to go get a test to confirm it worked slash follow up. If you don't go, you don't know how effective it was. Stop building this lie. Be a grown up and tell your wife the truth. Yeah. Your reasoning and remember her body, her choice.

You took that away from her by lying, but she has the ultimate say about getting an abortion now. I'm so sick to my stomach thinking someone would ever take a lie this far. Yeah. And is hoping for Reddit to help continue the lie. Sit her down or write a letter first, explain why you did this, your rationalizations and apologize through and through. An abortion may be very traumatic for her and you need to be there now for her more than

ever. She will wonder what else you lied about. And now is the time to fess up and deal with the consequences as an adult. Absolutely. And that's the thing. If you don't believe in abortions, then you should do everything in your power to avoid them. Like there's a Republican senator right now and I don't care where you lie politically,

but a child having a child, that's unnecessary struggle. That baby when they have it will still be loved, but that mom and baby are going to have a uphill battle their whole lives. And so there's a Republican senator right now that has a 17 year old son that got his 15 year old girlfriend pregnant and she's celebrating it. And she made her mom a 36 year old mom. So it's like, this is a generational, yeah, yeah, she made her mom a 36 year old grandma. So it's like, she is now a 36 year old grandma.

So it's like her mom was a 36 year old grandma, she's a 36 year old grandma and the cycle just keeps going. It's like, I get you don't believe in abortion and your pro life, but then why not educate your kids on being safe during sex? Kids are going to have sex. It's the way the cookie crumbles. I'm lucky I wasn't a teen mom. My mom tried the whole abstinence, no sex before marriage.

I still fucked around, but luckily I didn't find out. Oh my God, yeah. Also that just runs, when I was in college, I was just telling someone this the other day, but like I was passing by one of, I don't remember which hall I was in, but there was this girl who had a stand advocating for pro life, just fine. And I had a ton of communication classes and so all we were always doing was just talking about different ideas and different perspectives. So interesting.

Yeah, so I was genuinely like asking her about her point of view and like, I got so pissed. She was telling me she's like, she goes condoms are murder. I was like, why? So is having your period then. Yeah, literally. So is having your regular menstrual cycle. The point that she was trying to make is that you should never have sex unless you're having sex to have a child.

And so anyway, so anything that you do. She feels like Elle Woods. But anyway, I hadn't thought about that in years. And so I don't remember who was talking about something like two days ago, but I brought that up and I was just like, it was such an interesting like, because I went in there like trying to be really open minded and talking to her and I started getting angry and I was like, I need to leave. People are wild.

We'll leave it at that. I wish there was an update on this one. I'm not seeing one. I hope she found out. I hope she did whatever her heart desired at the end of the day. Yeah, I seriously hope he told her. But wow. Don't lie to your partners, people.

No. And I don't, I tried to go look at the account right now and like the account's been around since May 22nd, 2019, but there's no update on it. Like honestly Reddit seems like it was a little less controlled and moderated back then because the fact that this account isn't suspended feels like a miracle. It feels weird to be seeing this right now, but no other comments from OP, no update. And that's all she wrote. Whoa.

It feels weird, you know, having that just view right now. But don't lie. Like I think Lauren, you've said it best over there. You've yelled. Don't lie. Don't lie. It's not that hard. And like accents happen.

It's the risk you take when you're having sex. So if we have any underage people listening, if you're going to have sex, please use protection. And it's not just for babies, kids, fetuses, it's literally like, there's so much shit out there that you can get stuck with your whole life. And if you have it, that's nothing to be ashamed of, but it's something you have to deal with. It's another inconvenience. It's another hurdle you have to fucking hop over. Yeah.

Right. And that's what I, that's kind of like weirdly, but I'm, maybe it's where I'm at in my age or I don't, maybe it's just where I'm at in my years of wisdom, but I, yeah, I always think that it's more, I'm always more shocked that people don't use condoms because of not the pregnancy thing. I'm like not even that worried about getting pregnant. I'm just like more worried about like picking up things that have to be a new sense. Yeah.

Well, and it's a crazy world we live in and people can easily lie as we've seen and heard during this story. So the only person that can control your own body and fate is you. So take the proper precautions. There we go. Beautiful. Moving along. The weddings are the celebration of all the details that make a couple perfect for each

other. And you can find your perfect fit too at Indochino. Choose every detail of a custom tailored suit from lapels to linings and more starting at just $4.99. My bad. Shhh. Sorry. Find the suit that's perfect for you.

Go to indochino.com and use code podcast for 10% off any purchase of $3.99 or more. That's 10% off $3.99 or more at INDOCHINO.COM. Do you want me to read one to you or are you over it? Oh, do you have one? Well, because I told you the one that, yeah, yeah, you should do it. Okay. The title is, I'm leaving my boyfriend over a prank. I'm still shaking up a bit, so if this doesn't make sense, I apologize.

Trigger warning, suicide. I, 18 female, have been with my boyfriend 20 male for almost two years. I moved in with him last August and things have been pretty rocky. My whole life, I struggled with my mental health, specifically depression, anxiety and self-harm. I've been clean for a while though. I also have a history of trauma, but I don't need to get into that. I made sure that my boyfriend knew this when we started dating because I wanted him to

be able to opt out of the relationship if that was too much for him to deal with. He assured me that it wasn't an issue. He never seemed to really get the whole mental health thing though. He'd make comments saying stuff like, depression is just spicy, sad, and people with trauma should just get over it. He also thinks that only veterans can have PTSD. I've tried explaining things to him, but he just brushes me off, so I do the best to ignore him.

Recently, he started watching a couple's prank channel on YouTube and he started pranking me. At first, it was just small things like putting way too much flavor in my water or salt in a bite of my food and I laughed it off. It didn't really bother me, but then he started jumping out and scaring me. That kind of stuff really affects me sometimes because of my PTSD and I tried to explain that to him. He would apologize, but then he would do it again the next day.

I was getting annoyed and frustrated, but I tried to let it be. Things escalated when last week he put a noise maker under the toilet seat in the middle of the night. I woke up to go to the bathroom and I sat down and boom. Being late at night and me being half awake and the loud noise all mixed together gave me a full blown panic attack. I was on the bathroom floor crying, having flashbacks. After, I don't know how long I stopped crying and was just staring at his face, but I was

having flashbacks. He came in because I guess he noticed I was gone for a while. When he saw me sitting on the floor, he remembered his little prank and started laughing. I just stared at him for a second. I got up and called him an ass. I slept in the living room the rest of the night. The next day, I sat him down and told him that he cannot keep scaring me like this. No more jumping out and no more loud noises.

He pretty much sighed and rolled his eyes, but he said that he would stop. Everything was fine for a week and I thought the whole prank thing was finally over. Yesterday, I got home from being out with a friend and actually feeling better for the first time in a while. When I walked into the house, all of the lights were off, so I assumed that he was still at work, which isn't abnormal because sometimes he works late. I plugged my phone in because it died on my way back. And when it powered on, I got a notification that he sent me a text.

It read, so sorry, I love you. And I replied saying, it's okay, I'll see you when you get home, love you. And then I heard his phone ding in the bathroom. That was weird, I thought. I got up to go get his phone and when I got into the bathroom, I saw him laying in the tub. The bath was full of water, there was an empty bottle of pills on the sink and he was covered in blood.

His wrists were cut and there was just so much blood. Go fuck yourself, fuck you, fuck you. My heart just sank. I started having a panic attack. I was hyperventilating, crying, and I was just frozen. After a minute, I ran into the living room to get my phone to call 911. And then I hear splashing and laughter. Fuck off, what an asshole.

I turn around to see him standing in the hallway just laughing. He said he got me and that I should have seen the look on my face. Yeah, that of someone that's looking at a dead person that they love and care about that just tried to off themself. Yeah. I don't even know how to describe the feelings I was experiencing. I was so mad and sad and scared. I didn't even say anything.

I just walked out of the house. I just kept walking it and eventually I figured I needed to call my friend to come get me. At first, I didn't tell her what happened. I just told her I needed her to come get me and that it was an emergency. Throwback to when you just offered that to me earlier today. Yeah. Thank you, by the way. She came and took me back to her house.

That's where I'm at right now. My boyfriend keeps calling me and he sent me some text saying that he was sorry and that it was just a joke and that I'm overreacting and that I need to come home. I'm not answering. I don't even know what I would say to him. Fuck you. My friend is going over to his house tomorrow to get my things while he's at work. She said I can stay with her for however long I need.

I don't know what I'm going to do. I just feel numb. This is done. Yeah. This is absolutely done. After the toilet prank, that is bad. Oh, pop, fire. What are those little things you throw at the ground?

They're a little firecracker. Firecracker things, yeah. Like fire poppers, whatever. I'm sure he taped those under the toilet seat. She sat down like whatever. That is scary. I don't wear my contacts at night to sleep. Obviously, I take them out.

I am blind. I am actually legally blind without them. I can't see this far in front of my face, like literally six inches past. I'm done. So I'm very vulnerable. It's dark. It's night. You go to the bathroom and you try to just like go to the bathroom and you get pops.

She also has PTSD, of which he doesn't even believe in. It's only for veterans, not true at all. And so he does that and then she goes, well, this is done. No more pranks. This is a solid boundary. I can't do this anymore. No more pranks. And then he pulls off probably the worst thing he could ever do.

Suicide is no joke. Marine suicide as a prank, rot in hell, especially the way he did it. She has a history of self-harm. And you do that, that mind-blowing, like she used to cut and hurt herself. What are you doing? Yeah. This is someone you love and should be cherishing and protecting. Well, and that's the thing too, is that like I dated someone once who, how did he put it?

He was like, oh, with mental health, he's like, no, no, no, you just choose not to. He's like, you just choose to be happy. And I'm like, at the time I was like, I understand that there's truth to that. Like you do have to make these choices to, you know, make yourself happy. Like happiness doesn't just like fall on your lap. But when you are struggling with mental health, it's not like, it's not how it is for you. And that's what you need to understand is that you don't understand. And that's okay.

But for you to just think that it should be just as easy for everyone else to just like choose to be happy, like it's not, it's like, it can be such different levels of strength to make those choices as people that aren't dealing with mental health. And that's what I think that people, like some people don't understand where it's just like, I don't know what's going on with this. I think there's way more than just not understanding mental health with this guy. Like clearly he is a psychopath, but it's so frustrating even in the beginning to just be like, I don't get mental health.

Well, yeah, because you haven't had to deal with it. So instead of just being an asshole about it, like be thankful that you didn't have to fucking deal with it. Like, yeah, instead of just thinking it doesn't exist because you haven't experienced it, I don't know why, but I could not sleep last night. I was up till 4.30am. I uploaded the father knows something episode. So I do know why I couldn't sleep.

But like, I just after I got that done, I couldn't fall asleep and I'm just thinking and I'm like, I'm getting ready for this episode with Griffin and like trying to find stories that like they can speak to and I don't get that opportunity all the time of a non-binary person. So anyways, I'm down this rabbit hole and I'm like, why is it with complex issues if people can't understand them in their minds? They're not real depression. If you don't understand mental illness, it's not real.

It's fake. It's made up. It's you being weak. If you don't understand being trans or non-binary, you're just being sensitive. That's weird. You're working too hard. We have these gender norms, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. There's two biological sexes.

Not true. There's intersex as well. So fuck that right there. And then I'm like, it's just like with this thing where it's like, just because you can't understand something or wrap your head around it, doesn't mean it's not real or valid. I don't understand math or physics, but I know it's real because we've obviously gotten to the moon and there's all these big formulas and shit. Like, it's real.

Yeah. I mean, I don't understand how the world is flat. Like, excuse me. Excuse me. What? You're a flat earther. This is how I find out my best friend is a flat earther. Sorry.

I'm kidding. And now I feel bad making that joke because I'm sure there's people listening that are like very flat earthers. Yeah. If you're a flat earther, please message us. Let's get, let's get to the bottom of this. Let's work this out, please. Sorry.

Sorry. I had, I don't know, I had to, but I did, but I will do a monthly zoom call with flat earthers because even I get that. And I'm not bright with those space stuff. But no, you make them, you make really, really good points. You really do. I agree. Yeah.

It's tough. I, depression is tough. Complex PTSD is really tough. I mean, trauma can shape us. It's proven to shape our brains. Absolutely. It changes our brains. It really does.

Oh, and I just saw this TikTok that was talking about dating a narcissist for a long time and what that actually does to your brain because of all of that constant gaslighting, I can't remember, and I'm going to sound like an idiot, but it was basically something where it like, it starts to like shrink your hippocampus like area of your brain. And so your, your short-term memory starts to suffer from, from that. Your hippocampus is responsible for a lot converting short-term memory to long-term memory.

Um, it plays a big, it's well, and I didn't fact check this. It was just a TikTok that I saw, but I thought it was interesting because I do know, you know, some people that have been involved in relationships that, uh, they believe that person, once they got out of the relationship, could have been a narcissist. Yeah. And so I just thought it was interesting to think that, you know, that it is this, it's, it's an interesting type of abuse that happens in a relationship where it's

not as loud, you know, as someone like hitting or someone like screaming like awful words. Like a lot of times it can be these like micro aggressive comments, but how much it can really affect somebody. And like all of these moments in our life, all of these, like, and we'll put it all, like trauma, not even like saying trauma is like a really negative thing, but like, I like put, I use trauma as a word for like basically anything that has happened to you that is kind of like affected, like, yeah, has a part in shaping who you are,

that is anything less than like phenomenal, you know, or like exciting. So, um, I think it is, yeah, it's true. It's like everyone has all these different experiences. So it's, it's really, it's really, I think, beautiful when we can recognize that we don't have all the same experiences and then we don't always have to understand to believe that it exists. I would love for everyone to get on that page. I really would.

I, I mean, I have people in my life that don't understand being trans and, you know, I'm, I'm very open and I fully believe in it. Like everyone should be able to live their life the way they see fit. And there was something that, you know, I was having a conversation with them recently, just trying to like talk about it. Like, why do you care? Like, why does this bother you if people choose to live their lives this way? And they really couldn't even articulate in their own words why it bothered them.

And they also deal with depression. And I go, you see how hard it is in your day-to-day life to just be happy. And they go, yeah, I do. And I go, it is so hard on this earth in this life a lot of us live to be happy. If that makes them happy, why is that not okay? Like it is so hard to just be happy. And I think that they were like, you're right. Like people should be able to live their lives.

Like it doesn't bother me. It doesn't really affect me. I'm glad you said that too, because that's something that I always try to bring up, where it's like, I get that sometimes it maybe it can be annoying, like the devil's advocate thing, but I think it's really important, like especially like for me specifically, I don't know if it will always help other people, but like to be able to put myself in someone else's shoes, and then even if I can't relate, put it into a situation where I can relate

and how I would feel. Because at the end of the day, like we are just all people that all struggle with different types of insecurities with different moments of feeling sad or happy or lonely, or like what's the point? Like we all go through all these moments. So I think like what always really helps me if I'm ever feeling like frustrated or like I don't understand is putting it into like a perspective of something that I can understand as something that I have experienced,

because I'm never going to experience everything. So that's the only way that I can like be able to sympathize. And so I think that's amazing that you did that. Yeah. And it's just like, it's all about growing, right? Like we all have areas of growth. Like we all are, we're only going to grow as big as our pond allows. Like I think that's what's so interesting about fish, goldfish or whatever, there's the saying where it's like a goldfish only grows as big as their environment will allow.

And so if you don't expose yourself to other people, diversity, cultures, all of these abstract unknown air quotes concepts, how can you grow? How can you learn? How can you move past the simple archaic structure that you've been raised in? Absolutely. And so I think that's for a lot of people that are closed-minded or uneducated or just stuck in their ways. It's, you know, you might believe in what you believe in because you believe in it,

but you also might believe in what you believe in because you don't know anything else. And so it's just trying to poke holes and shed light. And so it's, it's something I'm finding that's working. But I mean, this person is also dealing with a lot of depression. Like, I mean, in the same conversation, they were like, I've never had a happy day. And I'm like, you've never been happy? Okay, it's time to get help. But then there's this like stigma of mental health.

And it's like, it's a whole rabbit hole. Like the moral of the story is like, we all just need to be happy in this life. So figure it out what makes you happy. Exactly. Like life is too short to not be happy and feel loved and supported and healthy. And this relationship is none of those things. No, no, none of those things. To bring it back by the time like this, this is nothing good.

The top common is what the actual fuck you don't need to get. And I'm doing this because it's air quotes. Yeah. Like some people are listening. Some people are listening. There's a lot of listeners. But you don't even need to get mental health shit to know that pranking someone with a fake suicide is the most asshole move someone could ever do.

If someone tells you to stop, then you do. So the next one responded and goes, an asshole move is an understatement. He actually took the time to think this out and prepare the whole scene, which everyone knows is never funny. This guy is an absolute psychopath. If he thinks this is a funny prank to anyone, psychopath. No, that's what I said.

I'm like, he is genuinely like, I do not say that term lightly. I used to. And now I've kind of reeled it in. Yeah. But like he is unhinged in the worst way. Yeah. This is break up. This is do not pass go break up.

Get the fuck out. Wild. He is young. I get he's 20. He's a prick. But that's the thing is that like he needs to grow the fuck up. What always gets me is that I, I mean, I pranks are fun. I think they're funny.

Well, in certain situations, my face, but yeah, I know. But that's that's my point that I'm about to make is that pranks are fun and funny. If you are pranking someone who thinks it's fun and funny. I don't understand how anyone could like repeatedly prank someone who doesn't enjoy it and find joy out of that. How do you watch someone have like zero joy and you find joy out of that? Like suck you like sucking the life out of somebody else. And then you're like, Oh my God, I'm so happy.

It's like, it's funny when somebody like freaks out and then they start laughing afterwards. And then you guys can laugh together. That's when a prank is funny. But if the person doesn't like pranks, which clearly your girlfriend had made that very clear to you. Yeah. Then like how do you just take it to the next level that that is like very concerning actually. Oh, well, it's not even like it's just everything you just said. But it's also after the bathroom toilet seat prank, she was having a panic attack on the ground

and he came in and laughed. You see your girlfriend crying post panic attack on the ground and you come in and laugh versus, Oh my God, are you okay? You don't comfort her. Do you like her? Like, do you even like her? Yeah, it's like, it's the lack of understanding or trying to understand too. So it's like, he's like, Oh, I just scared her and not realizing what that meant.

You know what I mean? He might have something diagnosable to be honest. Like he, I just don't get it. I don't get why people don't take, Hey, please don't ever prank me again. This is a solid boundary. Okay, so do it harder and do it 20 times harder. Wild. Well, anyway, that was a trainwreck.

That was a good one. It definitely fit the theme. Good job, Lauren. Thank you, auntie. Hey, hey, you always cheat the system and recruit the people. It's not cheating. It's working smarter, not harder. I want you to work as hard as me.

Well, why don't you cheat the system too then? I like leaving people not knowing what they're going to get from me. But no one knows that I'm going to read that besides auntie. Hey, hey. Yeah. Look at that little shout out. Yeah. Okay.

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Um, we do have some poop ones at the end, but I'm going to save them for the end because I know how all you people get. I wouldn't say all you people. Some people. It's probably like 20% of people that don't like them. Actually, I would say less like 15%. Yeah. And people are like kind of wondering they're like,

why are you so obsessed with the poop stories? I'm like, I just find them funny. Like I really, I don't have this weird obsession with poop you guys. I promise. Like I just find them funny. It's a lighter thing than like some of the stuff that we talk about. That's the thing. Like, look at the stories we've just listened to and like,

let's laugh about some fucked up shit. Yeah, exactly. I mean, what, like we've had centuries of laughing at farts, not actually centuries. Actually, how long have fart jokes been around for? Okay. Well, I used to think I was like, my sense of humor is so elevated because I saw this video of like these two guys

sitting there and like poo poo pee. And like, and they would start laughing and they're like, guys are so simple. Like talk about poo poo and pee and like they start laughing. And I used to think, oh, I'm so elevated. My sense of humor is more sophisticated than that. And then I get a shit story from Reddit and I just love it. It's lighthearted.

It's not necessarily hurting anyone. It's gross. It's inconvenient, but it's better than suicidal pranks. I was actually, it's, I was embarrassed because I was listening to Friday Beers skit thing on loud and my roommate was in the room and they were like, I forgot what they said, but they were like, Jack that black, like the legend of farts. I'm so proud to be in the same room with you. And I started dying laughing.

And then I'm like, this is embarrassing because usually I feel like people can't hear what I'm laughing at. And like she can. So to reel this in. Anyway, you know, sometimes you just gotta, gotta embrace it. Yeah. Okay. So this one is posted on today I fucked up.

It is titled today I fucked up by getting tested to donate a kidney to my wife. I decided to get tested to see if I could donate my kidney to my wife of six years. We have two kids together, four female and two male. My wife got sick just after our son was born. And now is in need of a kidney transplant. We checked with her relatives and none were a match or a viable donor. Last week I got tested. I knew it would be a long shot.

So I decided to get tested to see if I could donate. I got a call the other day saying that I was a match. The doctor then said something about wanting to do additional testing due to some information from the HLA tissue test results. I didn't think much of it and agreed. Then the results came in and I was shocked and confused. He explained that because of how DNA information is passed down through generations, a parent to a child could have at least a 50% match.

Siblings could have a zero to 100% match. It was rare to have a high match as husband and wife. I asked, what does that mean? He said that my wife and I have a quote, abnormally high match percentage. Long story short, we're related. No, I don't know how I didn't. That didn't, that didn't happen. Whoa, I didn't see it going there.

No, I'm not kidding. I was put up for adoption before I was born, placed into a family that moved across the country. I knew I was adopted, but we didn't have any information about my bio family. It was a closed adoption. I met my wife by chance eight years ago. I was on a trip from work and she was working at the site. I went to, we worked together for a week.

We exchanged numbers and kept in touch. I was sent back there three more times that year and each time we became closer. I was given the opportunity to be transferred out there in a new higher pain position in a different department as hers. The rest is history. I don't know what to do moving forward, but I know it may be wrong. She is my wife and the mother of our kids. This post is probably going to get removed, but it is all true.

We do have an edit that I might just read because it gives us a little more info. Well, how did, did I miss it? Like, do we know how related? He didn't specify yet. Really? Like, they don't know if they're full siblings. Because of your first cousins, according to Karen from Mean Girls, it's okay. I think second cousins is fine.

I'm fully in the boat. That was, that was, no one ever gets my Mean Girls jokes anymore. Like, I totally got it. Yeah. Because she jokes and she's like, he's my first cousin, so it's okay. And they're like, no. That sounds like Michael from Stiflox. They're like, no, that's your cousin.

Second cousins is what you're thinking. She's like, oh. I think second cousins is fine and people can come for me for that. No, that's what the, that's what the skit was about, is that second cousins like don't cause any like abnormality. Yeah. Abnormal, you know what I'm saying. Yeah.

Thank you. So the edit goes, look at the name, which his username is throwaway, wife is my HS. Call me dumb, but it's not clicking right now. All of my family is from my adopted parents. My parents adopted me two minutes after I was born. Their name is on my birth certificate. They have not told me anything about my bio parents and I don't have any info.

Her family is not a match as stated above most of her family has low match potential or can't donate due to medical or other reasons. I am two years older than my wife. I do know that my wife was born when her parents were late teens. So it kind of makes you think her parents are also his parents and they had two accidental pregnancies, but because he's older and they were even younger teens, put him up for adoption. Is my age sister. What's HS, her auditory system.

I don't know, right? Yeah, it seems right. Okay, top comment. Your kidney should work well then. And they already have two kids and they're healthy, so apparently, oh, we have some comments. I love an OP comment. That also, when there's comments from OP, it definitely does make me believe it is more plausible and true.

Someone asked me today, they're like, do you believe all the Reddit stories you read are real? And I'm like, yeah, I don't know if this is like my toxic trait, but I do. I do because I know like life is more fucked up for a lot of people than what we read. And I'll give you an example. So I went on a podcast with Sarah Shower. BCC club is Sarah's new podcast. It's absolutely amazing. And we were talking about Reddit stories.

That's why I went on the episode with them, her and her co-host. And Sarah shared some stories after the Reddit and I was like, okay, see, like the story you just shared, it would have been bigger than any Reddit story we've ever had on this podcast, truly. So I'm like, this is why I believe they're all real. I really do. Someone comments and they go, knowing what you know, would you wish that genetic testing be reinstated in your state?

Opie goes, no. It looks like one comment was deleted. So I think I've talked about this before, but, you know, no, I know I have, but I was talking about a friend of ours that said something that, for whatever reason, really was profound to me and it's like really stuck with me. But and it's something that it's not that crazy. That's why I'm saying it's funny that I was like, whoa. But she was talking about how like, you know, like her children are raising them,

even if they had zero like genes shared, there's no, like it's all about raising them. Yeah. And so I kind of like thought back on that too. And I thought about it with all these different situations, like as much as it's like really like hard for me to like, because again, like we're talking about not being able to understand because as I know right now, my siblings, I did grow up with. So like that's disturbing. But when it's someone you never knew, you never knew.

It's like then how, especially if you don't plan on having kids, because that was the story from the live show. But then the fact that they already have had kids and like, they're fine. Then it's like, well, what's, I think HS means half sister. Oh, that would be a smarter one. Yeah. Yeah. So I think it's half sister.

There are so, so many comments from OPU guys. So I will be sure to post the link for this in the description if I forget, just yell at me and upvote it and I will, I will find it again for all of us. I do see half sister in here. Okay. But there are so, so many comments from OP. I mean, someone goes, sorry, but how is it that the doctor told you but not her? What makes you think the doctor won't tell her?

Is there precedent in HIPAA rules for this? We hold up so he doesn't want to tell her. He doesn't want to tell her. We'll get to that. And OP goes, yes, I went in to get tested solo. He only dealt directly with me. I did not tell him much information. I believe he speculates, but doesn't know.

He just told my wife, I'm a good match and we'll begin the process. And so someone goes, I see one risk. You plan on talking to your wife after the surgery and after recovery. These various ways that your wife could accidentally find out before you tell her. And at that point, maybe your wife could be easily better than this. No amount of claiming that you were definitely going to tell her XXX point in time and weight was justified because YYY will be convincing. This is not a thing where you get to decide when she's capable of handling the information.

I think you should tell her right now. I would be upset if my spouse found out something that monumental about me and thought that I couldn't handle hearing it immediately. And OP goes, that is a risk I'm willing to take. It is so hard seeing the person you love to your core slowly dying, trying to put on a happy and brave face for her friends and family. But then you get the news that you can help her and increase her life. The woman that has been strong for everyone breaks down because she now has hope,

who is now smiling and looking forward to a future again. I'm not going to be the one to ruin her happiness. She might be upset, but I think she will be understanding. I really like that response. Yeah, I completely agree. And someone else goes, someone else like quote something and it's quoted, I love her more than I would a half sister, which is why I think HS half sister. And then they go, I mean, it sounds like you love her the same.

Now get her stuck somewhere and you can really live some fantasies. What? Ew, you fucking pervert, like steps is stuck in the washer. Oh my God. Did that get votes? Are you just reading? It got votes negative eight points. Okay, I'm going to go give it a nine.

Opie goes, never really had a half sister before. I've had a wife longer. Yes, absolutely. Like when someone is so critical, they're dying and there's another comment. I scrolled. I scrolled too fast. I got too excited. There's another comment basically being like, I'm not going to tell her like she is dying.

And then it's like, well, what if she dies? You want the dying person to like, that's their last thing that their husband is their half brother? When someone is so critical, and this is craziness, there's so many studies on this. I actually, for my doctoral capstone, I talked about addressing mental health in the acute care setting. Like that was my whole doctoral thesis. And there are so many studies that show if people who receive organ transplants are having mental health issues,

their transplant acceptance rate goes down. So why even jeopardize this for her? He is making the ultimate sacrifice of losing his kidney. Once it's out of his body, he can't take that back if it fails for her. So why would you even risk something going wrong in this dangerous life threatening process? I'm sorry, he can sit on that for a year. Let her heal. Let him heal because he's also taking a big risk.

Donor organ transplant is harder on the donor than the recipient. Usually, especially with kidneys, I've heard. Just let people make their choice. But like, wow, wow. I think I'm the more like messed up person this episode. What does that mean that you think I messed up in other episodes? Fuck. Really?

I'm like really over here. I'm just like stumbling. I'm like, oh my God. But you think I'm normally the messed up person? I mean, you like you have these big reactions. And like it's because you don't know what's coming. But the word Morgan messed up. I don't know.

I don't know. I didn't read this one. I didn't read this one before. I obviously didn't know the one you read before. I mean, I didn't even really read the drive by pickup one. Like I saw the title and then like read the TLDR. And I'm like, what the fuck? So like maybe like reactive, the more reactive one.

That's bad. I don't mean like messed up. I say messed up so lightheartedly. Like, oh, you got a little too drunk. I was so messed up. Like, you know, you know, yeah, yeah. Someone, someone comments. So she wakes up.

You dropped the bomb about you being her brother slash cousin. And that causes her to reject the kidney. You're taking away her autonomy. It's not fair to her. If you really love her, tell her the truth. And Opie goes, yes, I technically am. But I would rather do that than let her die. Yeah.

Which is not fair. If he never, if he never planned on telling her, that's a different story. Yeah. He's planning on telling her. It's, and like honestly, I can't like I'm, I can't not tell like the person I'm with, like what's on my mind. So it would be the hardest thing for me to keep that secret for them from them.

And so that, that's tough. And like he's making that decision because that's in her best interest. Yeah. Well, and so he goes on to say, what is not fair is the fact that she is sick. What is not fair is the fact the most amazing woman in the world is fighting for her life. The world is not fair. If I really love my wife, I will tell her the truth, question mark. I'm giving her a chance to live a long and healthy life.

Yeah. Yes, I'm selfish for making this decision. I will make it 100 out of 100 times. She will know the truth. I don't plan on keeping it from her forever. Once she is out of the danger zone, I will. There you go. And so someone comments to that and goes,

she's going to be on immunosuppressants for the rest of her life. But hey, do what you think is best. Okay, that's not what he's saying. OP responds, hence why I said out of the danger zone. Yeah. Not healed and 100% better. I understand that this will cause us both to be in a medically compromised situation. Would you rather be in a situation where you might die tonight?

Would you rather have your world flipped upside down? Or no, you are loved unconditionally and happy. If I'm going to die later tonight, I want to be loved and unconditionally happy and maybe a little drunk. Yeah, same. I don't want to find out that Justin's my brother. Me neither. This is like one of those stories and I have a theme. I have had this theme, but it's kind of hard to find stories for it.

But it's like, like, shut the fuck up Reddit. Like Reddit, you are wrong. And these people going off on him, it's like, I think they're wrong. Like this, they are so annoying. I want to just go, like, give horrible life. Was there anybody that was on his side? I think so. Like looking at the top comment on the post, they're kind of all like joking.

Um, we have an update. Oh, let's go. Wow. This is going to be a long episode. Sorry, Andrew. Also, you can keep that in. You got it. Andrew, you got to let the people know you edit.

So thank you, Andrew, for editing this one. So it's like, today I fucked up update. This is an update. Original post was about two weeks ago. Not sure how or if I can post a link. So this is 13 days old. Yes, I know I misspelled across. Yes, I do have bad spelling and grammar.

Yes, I am stressed and freaking out. Yes, I can play the banjo. No, there was no genetic test when we got married. Our state stopped that in the 1990s. No, my wife has never been stuck in the dryer, but she once got stuck under the bed. Dot, dot, dot, joke. Okay.

I think like everyone basically shit on the original post and was like making so much fun of him. So he had to, he was just like, he's owning it. Yeah, all the shit. Yeah. The reason I did not go into too much detail is to try to not be so specific that I or my wife might be recognized. Yeah.

Well, the front page of Reddit didn't help with that. Thank you all for your comments and feedback. I didn't respond to them, but I did read all of them. The reasons her family couldn't donate was that close relatives had some medical issues that prevent them from donating. Examples, high blood pressure, diabetes, cancer, heavy drinkers, and more. The further out we tested, the less percent of a match. I wanted to be tested because we needed to find someone.

The doctor said it would be unlikely, but won her to try. I was freaking out after I got the news and had to get outside advice. When the doc said that the percentage was abnormally high and that we might be related, I kind of zoned out and started to piece things together in my mind, especially because he's adopted. My parents live a thousand miles away. They met my in-laws a few times, once at the wedding and when both my children were born. My children are fine.

My daughter is incredibly smart for her age. My son is a handful and healthy. The way my adoption worked was when my bio-mom gave birth to me, I was checked out and put in a different room. I was there, but don't know how it worked officially. From what my parents explained, they were in that room waiting. They never met my bio-mom in person. My bio-mom only had a profile and picked them out of many candidates.

I called my parents and told them that I needed to know everything they knew about my bio-mom. They told me that they had limited knowledge. They said she was a single mom that was 16 years old. The father was not in the picture. Also, I was born in a hospital one hour from where my wife was born, like I said, limited knowledge. Growing up, I didn't want to find out about my bio-parents. To me, my parents were always my parents.

I knew I was adopted and that it was a closed adoption. I figure it wouldn't matter long-term. I'm not going to do an additional at-home DNA test through any of the traditional testing sites, like 23 or Ancestry, due to personal reasons, like the possibility of the family finding out. The doc said all of this only to me, not with my wife present. Some of the additional tests were done through the doctor, which was a CM test. I'm not an expert on DNA testing.

They said it was like a 1900 plus CM match. This basically confirms one of my bio-parents is one of hers. It can also mean first cousins or aunt slash uncle, I'm guessing her dad. When my kids were born, my parents brought photos of me as a baby and commented that I and my son looked a lot like my wife's dad. My son was easily explainable, but all three of us are a different story. I'm not going to bring this up ever. I might look at my father-in-law differently, but nothing will hopefully change.

I hope none of the family goes on Reddit and connects the dots. I am donating my kidney to my wife. We have started the full process. That takes time and a lot of preparation. I plan on talking to my wife after surgery and after recovery. We will decide what to do with our kids. If we are going to get them tested or ever tell them, I will not believe in my wife. I love and will always be there for her.

I made vows and will keep them. I love her more than a half-sister. So I think I accidentally read some of the comments that were from the update. So sorry. But I don't even care if they're siblings at this point. I think when adoption comes into play, that's the hard part. When you are adopted, you don't often get to know your bio-family, your birth parents. You lack that information.

There's not much you can do. It just is what it is. I don't know if I said this on here. Oh, crap. Okay. If anyone watches Umbrella Academy and they're not far into it, then fast forward. Skip a little bit because I'm going to give some stuff away. But basically, so they were all raised together, brother and sister.

They all call each other brother and sister, all of them. But they're all not actually brother. They're all adopted. And so then one of them is obsessed with his sister. Like all throughout growing up. And like, to be honest, I thought that that relationship was more like incestuous. Yes, than like any, than the other stories that we hear. Because I would agree.

Because they're raised together. Yeah, they're raised together as brother and sister, as children. So it's like, even though, and like, and it's at the same time, it's like, well, it's not technically like, at this point, I'm like, I don't even know what the fuck is right or wrong. But I'm like, it's not definitely wrong. Like I'm like, like they're not related. But at the same time, if these two people who are related, who were not raised together, could have children together that were not, you know, didn't have issues.

Because like, from my understanding. Yeah, but the note, it's so interesting. And here's where I think like, yeah, you can have like a general rule of thumb like, hey, you shouldn't marry your brother or sister. Yeah, whether it's adopted or related, like if you can avoid it, like maybe do. Absolutely. Yes. But at the same time, I do understand, like, if you do have a big family and a lot of kids are

adopted and like, they were adopted at different times and didn't like fully grow up together. Like, I can understand being in the same boat, you're close. And then like, you're not related at all, but you're adopted, siblings, and you fall in love and get married. Like, I'm like, okay, well, I think I'm fine with that too. So, so yeah, it's interesting, right? Yeah, it's so interesting. So it's like, general rule of thumb, if you share DNA, yeah, you probably shouldn't have

kids together or get married. If you grew up together, if you didn't grow up together, then it's a little better. But like, hey, if you like, you know, I think it's really messed up. I think I told you that I like, like, this is an example of what I think is like, what I think is strange. And I'm so sorry if I'm offended anyone, but this is just my personal opinion. Like, like my, I dated somebody who came from a very small town where apparently like, everybody like was in, they, why can't I say that word?

Thank you. I'm just going to, I'm going to look at you. I'm going to say in and then have you finish. Yeah. But so, but he basically was telling me that like his teacher, like he asked her to prom and she went to prom with him. His teacher? Yes.

Yeah. There's a lot of weird things. And then, and then how small was their town? 25 people? Very small. Like you couldn't ask any other girl the problem. And then he was telling me that like, you just made me accidentally have an accident. But then he was telling me that, that he had people in like lunchrooms that were brother

and sister that would literally sit on each other's laps and make out during lunchtime. Yes. Brother and sister, like, like genetics, raised together, like everything. What town is this? It's somewhere like in Northern California. I don't even know like, but some type of really small town. Yeah, I don't know the town. But anyway, so, and then he was telling me that there was like, there was a guy there too,

who like, everyone knew that his parents were brother and sister, full brother and sister. Oh my God. And he had six toes. And it, Justin had six fingers when he was born. Well, I'm not saying that having six toes makes you like, you know, have parents that are brother and sister, but I'm saying that like, that was, that was, there was just all these random things from his like hometown stories that were all about like just this like, like, and there's something in the water there.

That, that's weird to me. I'm sorry. That's weird. The fact he took his teacher to prom, weird. Okay. Maybe it was his friend that took the teacher to prom. I don't remember. There were so many weird stories, but like regardless,

the teacher was allowed to go. Exactly. Did they take pictures at their family's house before together? Well, hey mom and dad, this is my teacher. This is Mrs. Brown. Yeah. I'm like, unless you were like a fourth grader and it was like supposed to be really funny, but I'm like, no, you were in high school.

That's like, that's strange. I'm a little nauseous. The brother and sister is making out. Yes. They, they go back home together and their mom tells them when to do their homework together. Like, and there's, I want to go back. Can we back this up? But like, I just wanted to like clarify like where my thought process is at because I'm like,

I give you benefits of the doubts with like these situations. Oh, don't hit the kidney for sure, buddy. Like, I love this. Yeah. Don't it? Love this. For sure. But I'm like, there's like, there's, there's things that are

strange, but like make me uncomfortable. And then there's things like this where it's like, this is just a weird situation that no one could help. And like, it's, yeah, it is what it is. You weren't raised together. Like, no. And like, what would you choose? Oh, not donate my wife a kidney because she's my sister or like,

and she dies like clearly you love her. You have kids and you don't want to like make your kids motherless. Like people are dumb. Like, yeah. And the thing is like, if, if he genuinely like, if he could never think about it the same again, like then that's a different story. Even donate the kidney and then break up.

Right. Exactly. And then like, everyone has a right to feel how they feel about that. But the thing is, is like, I've said this before, like you can't just unlove someone overnight. No. And so it's like, if you love someone as a wife for however many years, then it's like, you can't just unlove them.

And like, I mean, maybe some people can't, but like, I don't think that's a very natural thing to do. So like, I, I support whatever decisions people in this situation, which clearly now this has happened a few times, decide to make. Yeah. So the top comment on the update is supportive. The comments on the original post like super. Yeah.

And I get like the subreddit it was getting posted on is tiff you today fucked up. So it is more of a comical subreddit. It's not relationship advice where if he would have posted there, he would have probably got more heartfelt, genuine thought out responses. Okay. And that's the thing about Reddit. If you go to Reddit, like choose your subreddit you're posting into wisely, because it's the difference of getting torn apart and made fun of,

or getting thoughtful, genuine advice that you need. So the top comment on this one is you're doing a good thing. Despite what you now know, your priority is to the person you love. You had no idea how genetically close you were until this moment. And your wife needs help. It will be a huge shock to her. And maybe the best thing to do would be to tell your kids when they are mature enough to take that information seriously.

Obviously, that's something you and your wife will have to talk about. If I had found this out about me and my other half, we have an 18 year old daughter together, it would not change how I feel about them. But I would definitely not have any more kids in case complications arose. I hope that the transplant is a success and that you both enjoy a lot more time together. Next comment down, best comment I have read on this or the previous one. I can't get what fun people are finding in a critical situation

that's out of everybody's hands. And I think that's the bottom line here. It's like, if you can help someone you love, you should. Finding out this weird information, happenstance, they could have gone their whole lives without knowing this. What does it change, really? It shouldn't change anything. Okay.

I've shocked us all into silence. Today's episode is brought to you by Honey, the easy way to save when shopping on your iPhone or computer. Thanks to Honey, manually searching for those coupon codes is a thing of the past. And I actually have been using Honey long before they became a podcast sponsor. Justin actually introduced me. I feel like I was an early adopter. You were way ahead of the curve.

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It works on your iPhone too. You just activate it on Safari on your phone and save on the go now. If you don't already have Honey, you could be straight up missing out. And by getting it, you'll be doing yourself a solid and supporting the show. Paypal Honey for free at joinhoney.com slash tht. That's joinhoney.com slash tht. This is the point in the episode where if you don't want the poop story, you tune out. But I will say it is coming from the Two Hot Takes subreddit posted by one of our very own

winter sky underscore star. And it's only got 131 upvotes. So I don't think a lot of you have seen it. So again, trigger warning poop. You're so kind. Like the fact that you just like... I put it at the end too. I know.

That's why I'm saying you're so kind because you're just like... I'm trying to be considerate. Yeah. That hurt some people. And it's one of the things going back to the fact that sometimes we don't always understand if we don't feel or experience something. And it's like, I think that poop is really gross. Like the idea of like seeing it, smelling it.

Oh really? Yeah. What do you mean? Even I pick that you found it funny. I think stories are funny. Okay. But if I'm picking up like a dog's poop, for example, like gag every time. I don't enjoy that.

I try to like... I don't like the feeling. I try to do it really quickly. Like I just... I don't enjoy that at all. But like for me, when I hear the stories, it's like... It's too far removed for it to be gross to me that it just... It's funny.

So I understand if I were to put myself in that frame of mind, where if I'm picturing the fact that I'm smelling it or like... Yeah. Can I say something about dog shit real fast? Of course. Why? Like if you're buying biodegradable dog shit bags, I appreciate that. But why are we taking something that is biodegradable?

Oh my god. And I'm not saying... I think we're doing all the time. I'm not saying we should leave dog shit on the streets. We should 100% throw it away. But why are we taking something biodegradable and then wrapping it in plastic that's going to sit in a landfill for a thousand years? I think about that all the time.

Thank you for saying that. I literally have never had this conversation with somebody. Really? But like I always think about it because I'm like... Well, now like, you know, I live with the dog, so I take the dog out a lot. And I'm just like... I also don't know if I told you this, but like I had a neighbor yell at me, which was so weird because I go like in this back alley way because it's a very...

It's like way more residential where it's on my front street. It's very busy. And so I go back there and take the dog on the walk. And anyway, the dog pooped. I picked it up and then I'm walking back and there's always other dog poop. That's not our poop. Sorry, not his poop. Yeah, I see where this is going.

But anyway, and so then this guy comes out and he goes... He goes, hey, this is your poop. Mine's right here, bitch. And he goes, you clean up after the dogs. And I go, yeah, I do clean up after the dog. You should have threw it at him. No, I literally held it up and I was just like... And I do every single time.

And I go, but thank you for your hostility. And I don't get like that with people unless they like put me in that place where I was like... As you should. Yeah, I was like, thank you for your hostility. And he just looked at me kind of like... Taking it back. Yeah, he wasn't like... He didn't think you would say anything.

He didn't expect me to come back at him, but I was just like, what the fuck? But anyway... You should have thrown it at him. You can tell I'm getting a little jerk. Yeah. I'm getting like, fight him. That's not usually my move, but I'll consider it next time. Next time.

If he comes out again, throw it at him. Yeah, but no. So anyway, it was just something that I have been thinking about where I'm like... People are so, you know, they don't want poop to be on the lawn, which I understand. Yeah, it's gross. Like it's... And you don't want to step in it. Step on poop.

Like it's... Yeah, it is gross. Yeah. But I remember when I was very young that my stepmom was telling me... She's like, poop is fertilizer. Like dog poop is fertilizer. Literally, if you go buy bags of dirt for your garden, a lot of it has cow shit in it. Yeah.

And so it was one of those things where it was like, I heard that at a very young age. And so I always wonder, I'm like... Yeah. Well, why do we do that? It like... And I hate the idea of thinking about stuff just sitting in the landfill, just like never... Like it like irks me the idea of it. Like I hate throwing away things that like I know just like are not going to like degrade

it just... Well, do you want to know? It's like even almost worse. What? This is coming from my brain in 2013. This was a college class I took. And it was all about like green renewable energy. And we talked about like at the time back then,

stainless steel water bottles were becoming popular. Now they're everywhere. Stanley cups and the like water bottles you buy from Starbucks. Like stainless steel, renew like reusable water bottles are all the thing. And you have to use that water bottle at least 2013 brain here 1500 times before it actually is sustainable. Otherwise it costs more on the environment to harvest those materials and produce it. So if you only use it a hundred times, you fucked up harder on the environment than you

would by just using a regular cup. Okay. See, that's the thing is that only buy one metal water bottle guys. I have caused fights in like past relationships over being like please recycle. And so it's one of those things where I have told myself that I'm like, I need to stop like doing myself harm because it's not good for... It's not it's just not the energy is just not good. And so I actually don't look in as much as I care.

I try actively not to care because I get like I get too anxious about it. So I like to like not know all these like stats because otherwise I'm going to be so like I like like my roommate. She throws like a can away and I'm like, don't throw a can away. And I'm like, recycle it. It pains me when people don't recycle and I'm like, I can't like it's so easy. I know, but it's so easy. But it just like that's it's this weird thing where I'm like, I also I don't

as much as I want to know more to like help more. I just feel like I'm going to help the world less by putting out negative energy because it's going to give me anxiety and like I don't want to be like... No, and each person can only do so much. Like there's also this thing where it's like, no matter how much we recycle, we're kind of doomed until the big corporations get on board because they're the ones causing an abundance of the damage, right? Like I don't know the percentage, but it's more than the people.

Also quick Google search, I'm not finding any new sources. I'm only finding sources from 2009, but it basically says, what it comes down to is this, if your stainless steel bottle takes the place of 50 plastic bottles, the climate is better off. And if it gets used 500 times, it beats plastic in all the environment impact categories studied in a life cycle assessment. That's from 2009. The fact I can't find a recent source is a bit concerning,

but for some reason I have 1500 in my head, but I mean, this is a New York Times article. So 500, 1500, maybe split the difference at 750. Okay. That's not the difference, is it? I don't know. We don't have, we don't know everything. Like that's what people need to remember. I think the difference is a thousand.

No, no, no, the difference is a thousand. Okay. Math. Okay, let's get on to this shit. Yeah, let's get on this shit. Let's get into this shit. So this is titled, very direct title, by the way, my husband's friend shoved his shit down our sink.

Trigger warning, poop, poop on hands, contamination. Hi, Morgan. There's a little note. I'm not going to read it. Thank you, though. I see it. This happened at the end of 2019. My husband, Matt, 35, has been friends with Chris 35 since kindergarten.

Chris is socially awkward and a bit of a loner, but he's such a nice guy and has always been a good friend of my husband. Chris has a girlfriend who is also socially awkward. She has a spoiled brat attitude, but they are happy. Chris and his girlfriend come over to visit us since we just had another baby two months prior. Whenever I have guests over, I always put out a spread of food. Pizza, charcuterie board, veggies, et cetera.

We always tell everyone to come hungry because there is always lots to eat. Well, Chris and his girlfriend decided to go out to dinner before coming over. Important fact for later. We invite them to come sit with us at our table. After some socializing and them eating their, quote, second dinner, what they called it, Chris excuses himself to use the washroom.

We live in a small home with only one bathroom, with a very tiny window. He was gone about 15 minutes. We didn't think much of it because we know he has some stomach issues. Our house starts to get a little smelly. After he finally emerged from the bathroom, his face is a little sweaty and a waft of shit smell starts to linger throughout the rest of the house.

My husband goes to use the bathroom shortly after Chris. He comes out and there is this look of shock. I will tell you later on his face. Then the girlfriend uses the bathroom after my husband. She poops and it stinks even more like shit in our house. See, I just find it funny. It's the, it's the fucking winter. So opening all of our windows was not an option.

Our bathroom smelled worse than anything I've ever smelled before. They even said it smelled bad and apologized for the smell. We crack the bathroom window and then light a ton of scented candles and incense. To my surprise, girlfriend helps me clean up the kitchen after we are done eating and go hang out in the living room. They finally leave around 12 30 a.m. Two hours after they both pooped. And our house still smells like shit.

I go to the bathroom and I notice something brown on the towel. I sniff it. It's shit on my hand towel. I throw it straight in the garbage. I come out of the bathroom and my husband is standing right outside of the bathroom door, giving me the same look from earlier. I say, there is shit on the hand towel. My husband says that when he went into the bathroom after Chris,

there were streaks of shit in our white sink. Shit on the tap handles, toilet, flush handle. My husband cleaned the bathroom with disinfected wipes. We keep on top of the back of the toilet tank. That was in all caps. My husband was grossed out. Then we started freaking out. Chris must have gotten shit on the hand towel.

His girlfriend then used the towel. Then she helped me clean my kitchen. I immediately grabbed every single item she dried and threw it in my sink with bleach and hot water. And now, almost three hours later, our house still smells like shit. Matt messaged Chris and said, hey, what the fuck happened in the bathroom? I found shit all over the sink and toilet after you used it and our house still smells like shit.

Chris then said, That was so blunt. Dude, what happened in the bathroom? There's shit all over everything. Everything, literally everything he touched. Chris then said we forced them to eat, knowing they went out to dinner and it caused him to have a huge poop, which clogged the toilet.

Oh my God. He flushed and the water began to rise. So in panic, he reached into the toilet, grabbed a handful of poop and started to shove it down the sink and used the sink stopper to try and get it to go down the sink. First of all, I love the lack of responsibility here. Well, you forced me to eat, so my shit was big. Is that really how you're going to start off your excuse?

Buddy, that has been in your colon for longer than what you just ate. Oh my God. My husband and I were speechless. We were so grossed out. My husband told him he could have pulled him aside and asked for a plunger. And why the fuck did he think it would be okay to leave shit all over the place? Why couldn't he clean it? He said he was embarrassed, but leaving your shit in someone's sink

isn't more embarrassing. We went into the bathroom, gloves on, a bottle of heavy duty cleaning supplies. I pulled out the sink stopper and every nook of it is compacted with shit. Oh no. Oh no. Our sink drain clogged with shit. No. I'm crying and about to vomit.

Everything in our bathroom, sink stopper, toothbrushes, etc., whatever was on the counter. In the garbage. It took two bottles of Drano and our sink was still clogged. We were pissed and so grossed out. Chris begged us not to tell his girlfriend. They were all over each other that night. We suggested he tell her so she could sanitize her cell phone and inside of her car.

But at this point, he still had not apologized and is still saying that it's our fault. Oh my God. Because we were good hosts who put out food. The next day I get a message from the girlfriend. She apologizes. I'm now confused and ask why she is apologizing. She said, Chris told her we were upset with them

because they took shits at our house and stunk the house up. I then message Chris and ask him why his girlfriend is messaging me. He didn't tell her what he did, but I told him that if he didn't tell her, I would. Because someone should not be apologizing for having a bowel movement. The girlfriend messaged me again and she is so embarrassed by Chris and apologizes for his actions. My husband messaged Chris and uninvited him from an upcoming boy's trip they had. He was so grossed out and needed some time before they could hang out again.

Due to COVID, it was more than a year before they hung out again. It was quite a while before my husband started talking to Chris again. The girlfriend drunkenly messaged me and blamed me for the guys having a falling out. What? Oh my god. I quickly reminded her that the falling out was due to her boyfriend shoving his shit down our sink and leaving poop everywhere. Her response was quote, so you had to clean a grown man's shit out of your sink.

Get over it. She thinks I'm the one who won't let my husband see Chris because I think he's gross. But really, it's my husband who decided to pull back a bit from their friendship. They hang out now, but I can never look at him the same way. We moved a couple of years ago and I refuse to have them over to our house. The girlfriend thinks I'm the asshole who ruined their friendship, but I think he kind of did it to himself.

100%. Well, it's not, it's not her, it's not OP's fault at all, first of all. But at the, okay, I have a few different conflicting thoughts because one, it's absolutely not OP's fault at all in the slightest. However, I do understand how the guy, the boyfriend, was extremely embarrassed because I don't know if anyone else has clogged the toilet before, but like I have. And like, even if it's within your own house, it's fucking like embarrassing. You're like, what is going on? And so to be like a guest in someone else's house is like panic mode, panic mode.

Like he probably was like, oh my god, I need to get rid of this. Like the fact that he didn't feel comfortable enough just shows that it was like, it was an insecurity. He felt like very panicked. But what I think is fucked up is that he didn't just say like, I'm sorry, like I fucked up. Yeah. To be like, well, you fed me too much. That's where I'm like, dude.

Fuck off. You didn't have to eat. Yes. Oh, not to your shit. Have a bite of like one carrot or maybe one piece of cheese on the jacuzzi board. But like just because someone's offering something to be nice. Even if so, like you said, that just doesn't just come out of like nowhere. Like come on.

Like because like the fact that he was able to pick it up and put it in the sink. Like, okay, that was not just explosive diarrhea. Like you, like, you know what I mean? Yeah, I know it was solid. It was there. So it's like to blame your poops on someone else is like the funniest thing I've ever heard. And so stupid. And a lot of times I, at least this is my personal thought.

I also don't really know how toilets work. But a lot of times when the toilet, like if you go the bathroom and it doesn't flush, I oftentimes think it's because the person before you. So the reason that the toilet clogged isn't necessarily from his big shit. The toilet just could have been like filled with toilet paper, like whatever the case. But I have done some weird stuff to like not be embarrassed by my toilet situation. I can sympathize for that. Like I get it.

But it's like, it's like the minute like you do something like, like that, that's really gross. And then you just, you got to own up to it. And like, I think that really irks me is when people can't just be like, I fucked up. I'm so sorry. I was so embarrassed. I didn't know what to do. I panicked and said, it has to be like, well, it's your fault.

Do you really think they're going to be receptive to that? First of all, like, oh, oh, oh my God. Yes, it was so my fault. I shouldn't have like, you know, put out a platter of food. I'm so sorry. You know what I mean? It's just like, it's okay to like fuck up and it's okay to be embarrassed. Like it's, it really, like all of those things are okay.

Yeah. And it's just like what I don't like is when people can't just like own it. Like there's something like it's okay. And it's like, is it insecurity? Like what, why the need to be so defensive and like security? But it's like, but that's the thing that I think that we all like have more. It's, we can all empathize with being insecure. So just like, we'll deal with it.

Well, no, more like what I was thinking is like, so it's like those. So those like first reactions, right? Like the, him picking up his own poop, like those are these like first reactions. Those are something that was just like, oh shit, like I can empathize with the fact that he was panicking. But like those secondary reactions where it's just like, okay, now he knows what he did. And now he has time to think. And yet he's still choosing to, you know, lie, blame others, all this stuff.

That's where it's just like, okay, these secondary like reactions are where you have time to actually kind of, you know, think it through. And that's where I really would challenge people to like always like think it through. And so that's where I have less patience and less like sympathy for, yeah. Well, we do have an edit from our writer and they go, I should add that he did eventually apologize, but, but only after he tried to blame his girlfriend and us for his situation. He offered to bring us cleaning supplies since we went through two gallon bottles of Drano,

a liter of bleach, a container of antibacterial wipes, and throughout our towel. We were extremely thorough with cleaning as we had a toddler who put everything in their mouth and a newborn at home. We were, we were up cleaning every surface they touched, plus anything with the vicinity of that area until 4am. In the drunken message I got from the girlfriend, she said he does not owe us anything, cleaning supplies, since he apologized. And that we needed to grow up because we were being immature about cleaning a grown man's

shit. I don't want to clean anyone else's poop. No, me either. It was like, it was, that was like probably the hardest part about healthcare for me. And like, it didn't phase me because I knew what I was doing in a healthcare role, like I knew what I was getting into. Good for you. But like no one, no one like enjoys shit.

Like you do it because it's your job and you care for these people you're working with. But like, I don't think anyone wakes up every morning and says, I want to clean shit today. No. I live for cleaning shit. No, I don't think. And so especially if it's not your job, you're going to be like, hey, I don't want to clean your shit, dude. Yeah.

What's the weirdest thing you've done in a, in a bathroom to avoid embarrassment? I'm trying to think because I know I've had like, that's why I was like, that moment of like panic. I know that I felt it. Oh yeah. But I think that like when I've clogged a toilet, I think that it just did that thing where it goes and like drains and it like clogs and there's like toilet paper at like the front. Okay. And so then you can't.

No residue. Do you know what I'm talking about? Is that not happening before where it's like there's toilet paper like sucked up. So I also know to turn the water off too, if it starts overflowing. Do you open the toilet and turn it off or you get underneath and you know the little knob? Yeah. Because if it starts to overflow, then I'm just like, dude, the amount of times I've sat there and held my breath until it gets to the very top.

And I'm like, yeah. And you're like, is it going to? Yeah. Then what the fuck are you going to do? Yeah. So like I've had moments where like I've turned the water off and so then it like sucks it up. And then like I'll be like, hey, something's wrong with the toilet. But then there's no like poop standing at like the, you know, top of it.

It's just like, yeah. That never works that well for me. That's really lucky. And you got to show me how to turn it off. I think I know, but I went through like a very public issue a couple of weeks ago on my personal Instagram and I was traveling home from Chicago and I spent some time in O'Hare by far the worst airport on this planet. And literally the week later, I saw that Minneapolis airport got like the award for

being the best airport. And I was like, yeah, facts are facts. But O'Hare is probably the most- We're in your Minnesota sweatshirt too. Let's go baby. O'Hare is so disgusting. And I don't know what it is. Maybe it's a Chicago people thing, but I also have encountered this elsewhere.

So it makes me think it's just a people thing. But I walked into two bathroom stalls directly after people. So like I saw the people walk in, walk out that we were waiting in line for the bathroom and this blonde girl walks out so confidently, just struts away from the stall. And I walk in, shit, shit. And it's like, why do people have so much faith in the automatic toilets? I never walk out of a stall without looking behind me. And I'll even do a courtesy flush.

I'll push the button or I'll wave my little hand. Like I'll kick the handle with my foot to make sure it doesn't stink. It's a courtesy flush. There's no skid marks on the rim. Like, you know what I mean? Like I'm doing everything I can. I, this is my embarrassing thing. I have even like wadded up a big wad of toilet paper

and stuck my hand in the toilet to wipe the edges. I've done that before too. I can't. I've never admitted that before. That's so funny that you just said that. I've never had this conversation. But like I am 100% done that before. I walk out and I triple wash my hands.

I go above and beyond to make sure I'm tidy after. But like I cannot walk out of a stall with someone. How have I never, have you heard anyone say this before? It's like a thing. This is a first. Because I've never heard anyone say that. It's just one of those things that like I've done and I'm just like, this is something I'm not going to tell people I've done before.

I probably have done worse that I'm like blacking out because it was so much worse than that. But I've done that a lot. Like, you can't. Oh, that's nice of you. You can't be that. I don't want to be that girl that leaves shit everywhere. I'm more like, I'm more like in my own home.

Like if I have guess over and stuff, I'm like, Don't you have a toilet brush? Yeah, that's true. It's only public because at home I have a brush. But the thing is, I don't like, so this is another weird thing, but like I don't like the idea of brushing my toilet when there's poop in there.

Because the particles? I don't, yeah. I feel like the poop particles are going to get stuck in the brush. So that grosses me out. I like, well, scrub it off, flush, and then with the clean water, I'll like hit the brush in the clean water and like really get it off and then I'll flush again.

But that's like, and then you're like, Oh, I'm wasting so much water. Well, I've just, I have had like a brush that like got so like rusty and like grossed to me that like the idea of any like residue of like, it just, I- How, sorry. What?

How often, I interrupted you. How often are you supposed to change your poop brush? We're calling the poop brushes now. What do you call them? I don't think that's the word, but like I don't- Toilet brush. What it's for is poop. You don't use it after peeing.

It's a poop brush. But no, I don't, I've never, I don't use it for poop. That's what I'm saying is that like, what do you use it for? Well, you get the little like rings around the toilet. But they're not poop rings. They're just like- Water stain rings. Yeah, like water stain.

Yeah. What do you do when you have poop skid marks stuck on the toilet? I usually just like let it flush itself out. Oh, at home. Yeah, on its own accord. What if you have someone going in the bathroom right after you? That's what I said. That's the only reason why I do that.

That I've done that is because if I am literally like- I thought that's what the brush was for. I mean, for like probably like 75% of the people, that's probably what it's for. I'm not saying it's right. I'm just saying that like I have this weird thing where I don't want any poop particles in my brush. So how often are you supposed to replace them? Like is it like a toothbrush every couple weeks?

I mean a month. Like I try to hang on to mine. That's probably why I don't like the poop particles in them. Because like I just told you the idea of things like sitting in like landfills where I can't just bring that to goodwill. Exactly. And it's plastic. I want to like hold on to it.

So like even when you told me the poop story, like I was like, oh my god, cringed when she said, so the hand towel I threw away, I pictured it just on the landfill, never dissipating just there forever. I would have washed it. The poop towel just there forever. But it's one of those things where I'm like, that's why I'm telling you that like I have like a weird like anxiety

over the like idea of things in landfills. And that's why I tried not to fuel that anxiety. And that's why I try not to like learn too much so that I'm not like some like, you know, crazy person like trying to monitor everybody. I know it's only, it's only going to make us go crazy. Exactly. And like you just said, like it's, it's good that I think this way.

But at the same time, like I shouldn't like make it. Yeah. Well, if it makes you feel better, I don't think I've gotten a new poop brush since I lived here. I've lived here for quite some time. And that's probably really. It's okay. It's okay.

That's probably really bad. No, it's, it's all okay. People are going to be in the YouTube comments being like, I replace my poop brush every three months. I just love how it's now a poop brush. Like is there a bamboo option? Maybe there's a bamboo option that's more sustainable. Yeah.

Bamboo with like hemp fibers. Yeah. That biodegrade. So you can't scratch the poop off your toilet as well after three months. So you have to get a new one. It's just like one of those things where I don't, like I don't want to be annoying,

but like my brain goes to thinking about like, for example, plastic bags. We use them all the time. But okay. So you know the water bottle thing? Yeah. Cotton bags. You have to use that cotton bag a crazy amount of times.

It's so hard to like know. And that's the thing is like, so I was at the aquarium. I'm going to start collecting my own hair and literally braiding a fucking net of a bag. But the three smiley plastic bags are so bad is because turtles eat them because they look like jellyfish. And then they choke on them.

And then there's just all these things because they fall out of the lamp. There's, I don't know. It's a lot. It's something that I like, I care about, but it's something I need to not care so much about unless I'm going to actively like create a company that's going to make things better.

Why don't you? Because there's so many companies we could partner with too. Like there's already so many companies that are pulling, like putting these little plastic things and it looks like a, I don't know, it's a thing. But it collects garbage out of the ocean and then they just go and collect them and dump it

and then put it back in. There's so many companies and we need to bring light to more of them. So this can be your charity of the month because I'm sorry, guys, I've really fallen off plugging them. So this one can be the ocean cleanup people that do this plastic thing.

We're going to find out more. And that can be this week's. Okay. But I mean, there's so many initiatives. Like we should not have a plastic landfill floating in the ocean. That's the size of Rhode Island. That's fucking gross.

Well, I just always think about like if a few hundred years ago there was people that were just like, you know what? We're on our way out. We're like 80. Let's just like nuke the countries because we want to fight. All these old ass people shouldn't be making the decisions for us anymore.

We should age cap politicians. I'm sorry. I don't care if it's Mitch McConnell or Nancy Pelosi. All these fuckers that are old as shit shouldn't be making decisions for us anymore. Well, and it's hard because it's like also that's they're on their way out. They don't care about the environment.

But and that's like a, that's like a discrimination type of issue. You know, like to be like, oh, no, we don't let senior citizens operate heavy machinery. We shouldn't let them make the laws for millions of people that they're dead. And now we're stuck with this. Yeah.

I mean, I'm not saying I disagree. I'm just saying that like, I don't really know how that would work. And and also you also, I don't know like where retirement ages. A lot of jobs have them. Pilots have them. But like also, and that's, and it's hard to say that people don't care

because it's their dying wish. Like maybe their last dying wish was to make the world a better place before that. You know what I'm saying? So it's like hard to, but, but like the point is, is that like when I think about what I can do to make like a little thing, like throw a can in the recycling versus the garbage can.

And then I think about like somebody like 200 years prior to me that I'm just very happy that our land still exists because they weren't all like, you know, like, nuking each other. Then it just, then I'm like, okay, well, I want to do just what a little thing that I can do for like the future that I'm not involved in because I'm really happy that whoever is existing,

like, you know, a hundred, 200 years ago did that for me. Okay. Well, I am dead. Yes. And I have to record tomorrow. You'll do so good. I am nervous. I know.

I was getting nervous for my guest episodes, but it's going to be good. Head over to Patreon. There's going to be amazing Patreon content this month. Can't miss it. Per usual. Patroning any of these. There might be a Patreon story.

We're at quite some time. So there might be a Patreon from this episode. We shall see. Otherwise, like, you'll be on one story this month for sure. Well, it's been a while since we've caught up. So I feel like people that don't like the banter, either you're going to cut it all out or... Nope.

Andrew, keep the tangents. Then the people who don't like the banter, maybe we should give trigger warnings for that, because I know there's people that... No, no, no. No, we've said this again. Take it or leave it. But I love you guys.

Thank you for being here. Be sure to check the description for the charity for this episode. We've got to clean up the ocean and all that plastic and be more sustainable. And don't pick up girls in cars and don't give vasectomies slash not get vasectomies and lie about it. And don't shit in people's sinks and just be a good person. Yeah.

I think that's it. Yeah. Just, like, own your shit. Metaphorically. Yeah, a lot of ways. And... Yeah. Actually.

Yeah. And then, you know, tell the truth. Be kind. It's... Yeah. We really love you guys. Yeah. Until next time, guys.

Until next time. Bye. Bye. The thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking. I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays, and lighters. I started exercising instead of smoking. Staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key.

I kept on trying. Learned something each time. Do whatever it takes. No matter how many times it takes. We did it. So can you. For free and confidential help, call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit www.waytoquit.org developed by CDC.

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