Two Hot Takes - 109: Tough Love? Tough Break? Oof Either Way..

Episode Date: April 6, 2023

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Alejandra!! This episode features stories that have us wondering if it's just tough love or a tough break (aka bad luck). We quickly find there's a difference. Can't wait to hear your thoughts on these ones! Alejandra's NonProfit Choice is the Alzheimer's Association: https://www.alz.org/get-involved-now/donate   Patreon Bonus Content: https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Watch our Iceland Travel Vlog!!! https://youtu.be/FISXcwnw49E Nonprofit of the week: https://theoceancleanup.com Our SubReddit to Submit YOUR Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes Partners: Athena Club: Go to athenaclub.com and use promo code THT today and you’ll get 25% off your first order! NextEvo Natural: Nextevo.com/THT for 20% off! PDS Debt: www.PDSDebt.com/THT ZocDoc : www.zocdoc.com/tht

The thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking. I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays, and lighters. I started exercising instead of smoking. Staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key. I kept on trying, learned something each time. Do whatever it takes. No matter how many times it takes. We did it, so can you.

For free and confidential help, call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit www.waytoquit.org We're rolling. Oh, we're rolling. Okay. We're rolling. You hear that, Holly? We're rolling. Look alive.

She, like, goes to sleep. This is her nap time. I know. Ah! It was me! Sorry, I scared you. That was kind of rude, wasn't it? It's okay.

Okay, here we are. We're going to do our intro right away before I forget because it's actually in my brain today. So hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Too Hot Takes. Just your local mall security guard here, Morgan. I'm Alejandra. Today's episode is going to be an interesting one. I originally started this theme as, like, tough love, question mark.

But after kind of looking at the stories again, some of them are, like, definitely, like, tough love question mark. But some are, like, ugh, tough break. Like, is it just a tough break or is this, like, more direct sabotage? So you'll see when we start to get into it. I don't really know what we're going to call it, but it's going to be good. Also, this week is Alejandra's charity week, so she will be picking another one when this episode comes out. I'm saying that now as well because I keep forgetting to mention them during recording.

So that'll be in the description for this episode. But other than that, how are you? I'm good. Thanks. How are you? Same. Check back in tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow.

Tomorrow. I don't know. 12 Pacific. Like, 4 a.m., we can ask. It'll be. I've been waking up randomly, like, every couple hours as I do. Yeah. And so I'll text you at 4 a.m.

I will probably be awake. How's it going? Yeah. For some reason, Alejandra's traveling, and I'm like, I've just been, like, backlogging episodes, like, trying to get them in with people, get ahead. Yeah. And since she's leaving, this is, like, our night to record. But I also, it's 7.52, and I haven't completed this week's episode.

I'm not going to lie to you. So we tried to set this a while ago because we've been getting busy and I'm traveling, and I suggested this week, and I was really shocked when you said Wednesday because typically Wednesday is, like, crunch time, episodes coming out Thursday night or Thursday morning. So I don't know. It's the only day. It's the only day? Yeah.

Like, I'll let her choose her fate. I know. It's the only day. But it's fine. Yeah. It's going to be a good one. Maybe if you come to Minnesota. I know.

I am going to come. I have to pop in. Come over. I have the whole house to myself. It's going to be good. Give her room. Yes. Okay.

Let's get into this. Let's dive in. Okay. I've been wanting to crack this bad boy open, but I didn't want to, like, cause it. Oh, yeah, spin drift. Thank you for the goodies. I am drinking a blood orange tangerine, and it's magical. Hi, guys.

A lot of you have been asking what I'm drinking. And today it's a brand called Waterloo in the flavor strawberry. Also bomb. Yeah. Okay. We also have a lot of short and sweet ones today. Love that. So don't feel like we have to keep talking about them forever.

Yeah, we're not going to be tangential. No, we're going to just rapid fire these fuckers out. Never do that. What are you talking about? Okay. So up first. Am I the asshole for accidentally ruining my girlfriend's career? Hi, everyone.

I'm in a tough spot right now, and I'm not sure if I'm the asshole or not. My girlfriend, 27 female. Let's call her Sarah and I, 26 male, have been together for three years. She's always been passionate about her job as a teacher and has worked really hard to build her career. However, a few weeks ago, I accidentally stumbled upon some photos of Sarah on Instagram that I had never seen before. They were pictures of her in some very revealing clothing and some of them were even nude. I was shocked and confronted her about it. And she told me that she used to be a lingerie model before becoming a teacher.

She said she stopped doing it because she didn't want it to affect her career and she thought I knew about it already. I didn't know how to react at first, but eventually I told a few of my friends about it. One of my friends is a gossip and ended up telling someone who works at the school where Sarah teaches. Long story short, the photos somehow got into the hands of the school board and Sarah was fired for, quote, unprofessional behavior. Sarah is devastated and blames me for ruining her career. She says that I should have kept my mouth shut and that I betrayed her trust. I feel terrible about what happened, but I didn't know would lead to this. Am I the asshole for accidentally ruining my girlfriend's career?

Oof. Oof. This one is tough because I think it's a reminder that everything you put on the internet can come back to haunt you. I think it's something that we all are aware of nowadays, especially being on like a platform like this, you know? Like we're both like... But I don't know. I guess I'm struggling. Maybe I'm just being overly analytical because I don't necessarily think he ruined her career.

I think he like ruined that job opportunity, but I don't think her career is now doomed. But the short answer to this is I do think he's an asshole that I guess I just spit it out. Like, yeah, I do because why did you bring that up? Why would you draw attention to your significant others like promiscuous photos? Why would you want to in the first place? It's weird. You're... For what?

Well, and it's like you told a few of your friends, but one of them you already know is a gossip. Yeah. Why would you tell that person? Exactly. You should have known better. I feel like you're an adult. We know that in today's world things like that can really come back to haunt you and hurt your reputation, especially when you're a woman, you know? So yeah, I do.

I do think that was just... It was a stupid move. It was poor judgment and you're kind of an asshole for it. I completely agree. I think it's weird. I don't know why, one, it's like anything to write home about. People are so goofy about like lingerie and like photos like that. And it's like you see more when you go to a public beach.

It's like weird to be goofy about it. But I think telling his friends was definitely like, okay, she told you, why do you need to go tell the world? Are you bragging about it? But you kind of had a problem with it, so it doesn't sound like you're bragging about it. And you told one of your friends that's a gossip. And I think it's so annoying that, again, it depends what you're putting on social media. Obviously, if you're racist and a terrible person and you're saying stupid shit online, yeah, it should probably affect your job, especially if you're dealing with other people.

Like that kind of role. But I think it's really annoying that like teachers, and this isn't the first time I've heard about a teacher getting fired for like swimsuit photos or modeling or whatever. It's like, I don't think you should be able to fire someone for some Instagram photos. I don't think so either, but this one is really such a fine line because I like personally err on the side of caution. It sucks because it sucks because you're right, it's a swimsuit photo. Like I could post a photo in a swimsuit on my Instagram, like just sitting on a beach and it's instantly sexualized. And the thought of a client or some type of colleague seeing that photo makes me cringe.

And that sucks because in a way, I'm shaming myself, right? Because what's wrong with that? I'm in a swimsuit. Like everyone, most people go to the beach or a pool and they wear a swimsuit at some point. So why can't I do it, right? Because I'm a younger female who has like a figure, so I can't, you know, like any female can't post a photo in a swimsuit. And so it's hard because, you know, I do have like a corporate job where I wouldn't necessarily want people to come across that. Is it a fireable offense? No, I think if someone found a bikini photo, I don't think I'd get fired for it. But you will be viewed differently by your peers.

In case when you're like a teacher, I don't know how old her students are, but some would argue like you need to have a private social media presence or you should be mindful of what you're posting because there are children who are possibly looking at your content. It just, this is a weird one because it's such a challenging world we live in right now. Kids are getting younger and younger on social media. Yeah. Well, so if she was private and this person that her boyfriend told is the one that took the screenshots and then gave it to the other teacher at the school, like what in, like, I think I fully believe like she's the victim in all of this. I think this is like more of a tough break versus tough love or like anything like of the sort. Like this is just the most bad luck, pure happenstance shit situation that her boyfriend created, but it's not her fault at all.

No. But I think that is like more so frustrating if she was private on top of all this. Oh, yeah. And then someone screenshot it and send it in. Yes. I also wonder if there's like a case to be made here about like an improper termination. Yeah, I don't know. Like if there's, if they're trying to claim it's unprofessional behavior, like, okay, well, where's the documented unprofessional behavior? Because what I do outside of work is none of your concern. That's a good point. I guess you would have to take a look at her employment agreement because her employment agreement, I don't, I don't know, I've never been a teacher.

Yeah. Could have some type of clause in there that says like you won't engage in any activities that could be perceived as XYZ. I wonder. I don't know. I don't know, teachers, do you guys have to? Yeah. Today's world, we're like, this is such a tough question and I honestly don't have a tough story right in because I genuinely don't know where I fall myself on the topic. To be honest with you, I hate how censored I am sometimes. I hate it. I don't feel like if you look at my Instagram, there's very few bikini photos and that's by design.

Like I'm very, very cautious and I hate that and I don't want to advocate that to women because I don't want anyone to feel like they can't post those things or that they shouldn't feel like they can post those things. Yeah. Because deep down inside, I know that posting those things does not do anything wrong, but I also know the world we live in and I know that people will look for any reason to discredit you. Any. And especially as a woman, let's just be real. So I'm not going to take that chance. So it sucks. And you know, kids are getting on social media younger and younger and younger. Like it's crazy. So they have access. The internet's a public platform. It is really wild. If you are a teacher, I know we do have a lot of teachers that listen.

I'd love to have you guys chime in. Like if you have anything like this in your contract or even if you know of someone getting fired for something they posted on their personal social media. I'd love to see. I mean, there is a teacher on TikTok that even just got fired for like posting classroom videos. And she blew up on TikTok, has a bunch of followers and the school was like unhappy about it and they fired. That's so weird. Yeah. I guess I don't, we don't know what their, what their employment agreements say. That's crazy.

So top comment on this one. You're the asshole. You quote, didn't know how to react at first, but then settled on quote, let me share my girlfriend's private and obviously career ending information with a bunch of people whom I know will gossip reaction. Don't tell us you didn't know that this could be a possibility. You knew you were uncomfortable with your girlfriend's past and wanted her to be embarrassed. Well, go you. I hope your next girlfriend is a pure innocent flower. I pray she's not appalled by anything in your past. Yeah.

I mean, it does, it does make you wonder why he did it. I don't, like if you're him, what good was going to come from this? None. It's a really weird move. I don't know what reaction he was looking for. I'd be furious personally. If I'm a girlfriend. This is breakup worthy.

Oh, I'd be, I'd be livid. This is breakup worthy. I'd be livid for sure. Especially because like, yeah, it might not end her career. Yeah. But it definitely ended her time at this school. Yeah. In the middle of a school year.

Yeah. And I mean, looking at that on her resume, like if it would have been at the end of the school year, she could have easily, you know, told the next school I left, it wasn't a good fit. But when you get fired in the middle of a school year, she's got to explain that to the next school now. Yeah. So it could be really detrimental. Yeah. Oh yeah.

I didn't mean to say like, oh, she's, she's like fine. I'm just saying like. No, no, no, I'm just, yeah. Like hopefully she's not fucked for the rest of her career, but you're right. She's going to have a serious obstacle moving forward. Wish her, wish her luck. I hope she dumps him. Yeah.

And I just, it, stories like that, they beg such a bigger question because of the world we live in today with society and media and access. And it just, there's like not a good answer. Like, I don't know. I don't either. It's kind of a personal choice at the end of the day. It's fine line to walk on the internet. Yeah.

I don't know if I would honestly be able to get a job again as an OT. All the person has to do is Google my name and they're like, what the fuck? I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I feel like people have had to loosen up. I feel like a couple of years ago, but I think the world is evolving.

Like so many medical professionals now have TikTok accounts. Like you'll see surgeons and dentists weighing in on things on TikTok and like even lawyers, right? You know, like there's, I think the world is modernizing to where I don't even think that's, that can preclude you from practicing in a, in a, in a traditional setting. I don't know. I guess you, yeah, you make a really good point. There are a lot of professionals on, especially TikTok.

Yeah. Oh my gosh. Okay. Moving along. This next one is a listener write-in. It wasn't even shared on the two hot takes subreddit. As far as I know, it's snuck through the cracks of my email, which I don't like. And I usually, if I get emails, I, sorry guys, I put them in the trash.

I just, I get way too many emails as it is and the subreddit is there to be there. And a new theme I'm doing is I'm actually going to do a lot of episodes where it's just two hot takes subreddit stories. So I recorded an episode with my uncle Jimmy and it's coming up. It's going to be like hot problems. Cause like two hot takes problems, hot problems, cold solutions. So that'll be a thing, but I did peek at this one. I'm like, I can't delete it.

You peaked at it. I peaked. I wonder what peaked your interest. The title. Really? So it's, uh, it's got a title in the email subject line that says, am I the asshole for not quitting my job at the strip club? I, 25 female was recently fired from my assistant managing position at a spa.

Long story short, I was fired by one of the district managers all because I was doing what my manager instructed me to do. I can write another story about that if you want. Given that this was out of the blue and I have rent and other bills due, I needed a job ASAP. My roommate, 26 female, does bottle service slash cocktail waitressing at a strip club. Given that this was a quick and easy way to get back on my feet, I called her asking if there was a serving position available.

Thankfully, I was hired right away and just started my first day a couple of weeks ago. I'm not a stripper. I just wear corset booty shorts and black boots while serving drinks. It's good money. And I'm really liking my job so far. I even have the opportunity to make more than I was making at the spa. I also liked the idea of working nights so I can go back to school in the daytime. My cousin, 29 female, is not too fond of my decision.

When I told her about my new job, she just told me to quote, be careful. For context, my cousin and I grew up really close. Neither of us have sisters, so we agreed to be aunts to each other's kids. I don't have kids yet, but she has two daughters, a three year old and a five month old. I love them both to death. Flash forward to yesterday, my cousin texted me asking how my parents thought about me working at the strip club. I told her that I haven't told them yet.

And I'm more nervous about telling them I got fired. So they still think I work at the spa. She then sent me a long paragraph saying that I need to quote, find another job and that I won't quote, find a forever man in this industry. She also said quote, this isn't you. I was very confused, but she assured me that it was coming from a place of love and actually giving a shit. I told her that I appreciated it and that I didn't plan on working at the strip club forever.

I also told her that I was glad she cared. That wasn't cutting it for her though. So she said there's other ways to make money and stop selling yourself short. I reminded her that I was in a position where I lost my job out of nowhere and that I have bills to pay. I also assured her that I wouldn't date any of the guys I meet at the strip club. Then she says, wish you the best of luck. I pray that you find what's best for you soon.

I knew she came from a place of love and I didn't want to argue. So I said, I appreciate it dude. I love you. All she did was like that last message I sent. I just shrugged it off and went about my day. A few hours go by and she sends me another message. This time it didn't make me feel loved. She said quote, just know I am more aware of what I put my girls around

and I don't want that lifestyle around my girls. Obviously they can make their own decisions one day but if I do my job right they won't go into that world. I hate that you decided this for yourself but that is your choice. Just like it is my choice to not let any of that near my girls. I was shocked. I then told her that my work life is not my personal life and that she and my nieces are in my personal life.

I then told her that it hurt when she said any of that. I also said that at the end of the day I need her to support me. I reassured her that I would not bring my work life to my nieces. She then told me that she appreciates my thought process but it doesn't work that way. She sent a really long paragraph so I'll try to keep it short. She texted, I think you not only deserve better but you have the knowledge of doing better.

Again, I would tell my girls the same thing if they ended up where you are. I know the industry. I had no knowledge of her ever working in the industry. She then said, quote, I've made my own mistakes and I don't want any of that near my babies. She then goes on to say that it's nothing personal to me, just my choices and that it's not okay to subject her girls into that. I was hurt at this point.

I went off, she was coming out of love or just being straight up judgmental. She then goes on saying that I need to find another way to make money. It also got really confusing because she then referred to me as a badass bitch. At the end of the paragraph she confirmed that she cannot support me with this choice I've made. It sucks because she's the closest cousin to me and I have a lot of cousins. Let alone she is the only family member who knows where I work. So it's upsetting that she's not in my corner or at least doesn't make me feel that way.

I have so many friends and former coworkers at the spa that are in my corner and are proud of me for making a fast decision to support myself. I don't think my cousin knows that there are servers and strippers at the club who have kids who are busting their asses to help put food on the table and pay for tuition so that they can provide a better life for their kids and themselves. I love my cousin and my nieces. I would never subject my nieces to my job. It hurts that she won't let me see them at all because of what I'm doing to support myself.

I love kids so for someone to tell me that they don't even want their kids around me sucks. I asked my cousin if we could have this conversation in person and she agreed. We haven't picked a day or time to meet up but I'll keep you updated if you like. As badly as I want to continue being an aunt to the girls and stay close with my cousin I don't plan on quitting my job anytime soon. It's good money and I find it easier to save money with it so I can have a better future and not live paycheck to paycheck. You said these stories are short.

This one is not. That one felt so long. I like forgot how it started. Oh my God. The end I was like what happened again? Like whoa. Okay. Anyway.

Wow. Really? Yeah. Sorry. I don't know if I had had a long day or something but like I don't know. That story felt like two years. Sorry. Sorry OP.

I think you're catching us on a bad day. So there's a lot there. There's a lot there. Essentially the main question at the title was- No, no. I understand that. Like Emily asks us we're not quitting. Yeah.

I mean no. Not to me. I mean you're asking a girl who's very big advocate on securing your own oxygen mask before you try to take care of other people. This is the day. This is your life. This is your like trajectory. These are your bills.

If this girl's not, if your cousin is not floating your life and not offering to float your life while you have to take care of number one being you, then I don't really think they have a place telling you how you're making your money. It sounds like OP has a great hat on her shoulders. It sounds like she knows exactly what she's doing. She's trying to secure a future. I love that she was like, oh, I love the fuck being able to work at nights and go to school in the day.

I thought she was going to be like, I love it because I can nap all day. Like the fact that she is like this clearly a hungry person and is building a future. And I know plenty of people who work in the nighttime industry in order to secure their bag and do bigger things with their lives. Or if they just want to stay in the nighttime industry, whatever it may be. I think there's nothing wrong with that. You're not bringing that home. Like for all you know, I'm a stripper during the day.

Like you don't know what I do from the hours of nine to five. I don't bring that into my relationships. Most of our listeners don't even know what I do as a job. You can keep those things separate and you can do the same with your family. You don't bring your family to work. You don't bring the nieces to work. So why does it matter? You're not coming over to say hi to them in your lingerie, I assume.

Yeah. Last time I checked, they stopped to bring your kids to work day and I definitely don't think they have a bring your nieces to work day at a strip club. And even if they did, guess what? It's optional. So you can opt out. Like you don't, this is BS. I don't know what's going on with the cousin.

At first it started like it was coming from a place of care. Yeah. And then it's segwayed to like more than that. It seems like a control thing. I don't know. It definitely seems very controlling, especially she's using the nieces as like a kind of like the scapegoat. Like I don't want that around my girls.

Yeah. I would never subject that to my girls. And it feels like the girls are a means of manipulation. But it sounds like she's very triggered for some reason. I mean saying like, I'm familiar with the industry. I know the industry. And our writer says I had no knowledge of her ever working in the industry. So it is interesting where it's like, do you know it?

Because you went one time with your boyfriend who then cheated on you with one of the dancers. Like I'm throwing out the most illogical things, but I'm like, how do you know the industry? Because unless you like worked in it, do you really know it? Yeah. And yeah, there's very seedy sides to strip clubs, but there's also positive sides too where these people can make better lives for themselves. Like I've seen so many success stories on TikTok of people sharing that like dancing gave them financial freedom.

They were able to leave certain situations. They have their own cars. They bought a house. They're doing this. And it's great for some people, but on the flip side, it's not great for others. So it just depends. But I'm like her saying that I'm like, okay, well, what's the rest of the story? Yeah, there's something there's like facts and evidence that we're not seeing here

because it sounds like the cousin has this like very passionate take about it. And I don't know, like you said, if she has some bad history personally, if she worked in the industry, if she had some bad experience in the industry, whatever that may be, like it's hard to acknowledge it because she's not necessarily bringing light to it. So it's probably hard for OP to like sympathize or like hold space for that because she's not being very clear. She's just saying, I'm familiar or I know the industry.

Yeah, it's very elusive. It's very elusive. So like, how do you really like acknowledge that head on? Well, it's like someone being like, I'm a rocket scientist. And then being like, okay, well, where did you go to school? Where did you learn this? It's like, you're telling me you have this credential, but like, where's the resume to back it up?

Or it's like, yeah. I'm not saying she necessarily has to prove herself. But when you say something like that and you're coming on so strong, it's like, okay, well, like, why do you feel so strongly about this? And I don't know. I think the first step is say like, hey, I'm not a stripper. I'm like, I'm not dancing. I'm actually a waitress because it doesn't sound like her cousin knows

that they're doing that and there's a difference. I don't know. I don't know if it matters to her. I don't know. Yeah. It would be interesting to see if it did. I don't know. It sounds like her cousin has some like issue with this.

And like I said, I really do feel from what you've read that part of it is motivated by caring for this person. Like I think she's genuinely coming from a place of care, but I think it's going further than that. Like I think it's like she kept kind of dog piling on top. And I think like you make a good point. I think she's weaponizing the, the nieces. And I think people do that a lot.

I think when they realize they're not getting their way on something, they use the children as collateral, especially young children who can't advocate for themselves. Like she said, one day they could make their own decisions, but that day's probably far off because the ages were pretty young. Yeah. So five months old. Yeah.

So do you think your five month old is going to know what your cousin is doing for a job? It doesn't know left from right. That thing's a ball of mush. It doesn't know what you do during the day. That's a cute little baby that doesn't know up or down yet. No, it's the, are you asking what my uncle did when I was five months? I don't know. Like it's just irrelevant.

So it's, it's, but the point is here that we're getting, it's bigger than that. It is. It's not really about what the kids think. The kids don't know any better. No. It's about the cousin having some sense of control, or the cousin did have some traumatizing experience in the industry that she just isn't going to open up about.

Yeah. And very possible. Very, whatever, but you can't project onto another person and expect them to make their decisions around your experiences. Especially when it comes to keeping a roof over your head and keeping food in your mouth. And I think you said it best where it's like, if this is, you know, important to you where you want this relationship and you're kind of caught between a rock and a hard place, like your cousin's not going to let you see your, your nieces and like, what do you do?

Like you're really, you're, you're torn. You could say, Hey, you know what? This is, I get where you're coming from and I get you want better for me, but this is all I have right now and you're secluding me and making, you know, my social network not supportive. And Hey, I'm happy to find another job serving, but in the meantime, are you going to support me? Right. Are you going to pay my bills?

Because if the answer is no, yeah, like you cannot be treating me like this. I'm just doing my best. Yeah. Doing my best. That's a good point. Yeah. I mean, the short is you're not an asshole. You got to do what you got to do to, to pay your bills and as much as you love your nieces,

like what's the alternative? You quit your job. You maybe don't find another job or another job that will pay you as well or a job that will allow you to go back to school. Do you really, do you think it's a better example to set for them that you're struggling and possibly denying yourself a better future in the longterm for a short term thing? Like by the time the nieces are old enough to really have a sense of what's going on and remember, she'll probably be well situated.

Yeah. She's grinding right now when they're young, not the asshole. Not the asshole. Okay. Moving along. One of this week's partners is Athena Club. Let me tell you, it doesn't feel good when you slide your leg next to your partner at night and he jumps and says, uh, prickly.

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Athena Club also launched in Target stores nationwide this month. So make sure to check out the shaving aisle to buy their products in store in real life. Okay, this next one's short, I promise. Okay, thank God. I just don't have the brain cells for long stories like that. We'll get them short today. So this one is coming from Am I the Asshole posted about a week ago titled Am I the Asshole for ruining a proposal?

My girlfriend just bought a house and is so excited. She invited a ton of people over for a housewarming. She put so much work into everything. The house looked amazing and the food was delicious. Right after dinner, while my girlfriend was getting dessert, her brother proposed to his girlfriend. I was mad because he hijacked my girlfriend's event that she worked so hard for. Before she could answer, I told him to sit down and quit being so rude and disrespectful to his sister. He was mad, but his girlfriend looked so embarrassed.

They ended up leaving. Probably because that was a shitty proposal. Yeah. The party was very awkward after that. A lot of people left early. My girlfriend's mom was furious at me because she wanted her son to stop living in sin and I ruined it. My girlfriend said I was sweet, but didn't need to do that. Her brother texted me calling me a prick.

Was I an asshole for telling them to have some class? So I need to figure out this family true situation. The housewarming party is the sister of siblings with guy who tried to propose. Right? Yes. So this is like Justin writing in about a house. We're having a housewarming party. My little brother tried to propose.

Justin told him to sit down. Justin's writing the Reddit story. I see. I don't know. What do you think? I think it's like one... I would have been embarrassed if my boyfriend proposed to me this way. Yeah.

It's kind of like what effort did you put in? Your sister's throwing this big celebratory party and housewarming and then you're just hijacking it because your family's here. It's tacky. It's tacky, but some people like that. Some people love tacky. Some people love it. It would not be for me. So I think like he knows his girlfriend really well.

So she did say like, oh, you didn't need to do that. But like it is a weird situation. The girl who through the housewarming said, you don't need to do that, right? You didn't need to do that. Yeah. I think it's weird to... I think it's me personally, Alejandra thinks that it's weird to propose to somebody at someone's house without giving like the owner. Yeah.

And I don't know why there's no law against it. No, but... I can't explain it. It feels a little rude. It feels really weird. It feels really weird. So the more I'm thinking about this, like it is kind of like read the room. Like this was a celebration for someone's new dwelling and the home that they're living in now.

That was kind of their moment. Yeah. And unless you talked to your sister and said, hey, like I want to take advantage of the fact that all of our friends and family are going to be here. Are you cool with me proposing to so and so? Yes. Different story. Completely different. But I do think it's rude.

However, if your brother Taylor did that at a housewarming of yours or Justin's, I don't know if I have the nerve to go up to Taylor and like call him out. I don't think Justin would do it either. So that's why I'm like, I kind of commend this guy for doing it. Yeah. Because I don't know if like I would have the confidence to what I say something after and kind of make them feel bad. Maybe I am passive aggressive at times. So yeah, but like what's going to make me feel better probably confronted in the moment and then maybe they shall get a better proposal. I don't know.

I'm really torn with this one. Yeah, I'm torn too. The overall vote is not the asshole. There are a lot of comments from OP that kind of elaborating on the situation and things like that. And so someone goes info. Did your girlfriend know about the proposal? Her brother might have asked her for permission to do it during the party, which I guess for him, an easy thing is like it's not your house. Don't get involved.

Yeah. But at the same time, it seems weird that the brother then did it while the sister was in the kitchen getting dessert. Like he took that opportune moment to do it. Yeah. Which then is really about family because one of your siblings wasn't even in the room. True. So OP goes, she did not. She was sad that he did it, but said she is used to her family hijacking her events and that it isn't a big deal to her anymore.

Oh my gosh. Okay, that tells us what we need to know. That hurts. Yeah. Clearly he's the golden child and she's been just the little scapegoat rug. That's so annoying. So that's so annoying that he did that then. LOL.

If I'm being honest, I laughed a bit reading this. You're slightly the asshole for at least not giving his girlfriend the time to answer his proposal. But you're sweet for wanting your girlfriend's housewarming to go smoothly. Did your girlfriend even know her brother was going to propose at her housewarming? What if she allowed it? She said it was sweet of me to stick up for her, but unnecessary because that's just how her family is. Damn. Just because that's normal doesn't mean it's right.

So it's one of those things where it's like just because it's been your whole life doesn't mean it needs to continue. Yeah. So I commend the boyfriend for sticking up. I love it. I think that was a nice thing to do. Yeah. It's just awkward. It's so awkward.

Yeah. It's so awkward. Well, and she's like, I just picture this too. He's on one knee, girlfriend's standing there in a room full of people and then she doesn't even get to answer. It's like, sit down. What did he say? He said sit down. He said, um,

That's hilarious. But before she could answer, I told him to sit down and quit being so rude and disrespectful. Like, you just got, like, You were intercepted. Like, you got verbally slapped in front of everyone. Yeah. No, he's a badass for that. Um, what's that?

Like, it's on TikTok. It's like, I think it's Nicki Minaj audio. It's like, sit down your motherfucking highness. You look like a clown. Oh. It's like an audio. I know you're talking about. I don't know if it's Nicki Minaj.

It might be like a Kardashian mixed, like mixed with some other audio, but it's like, you look like a clown. And it's just like, that's all I have in my head. It's like, sit down. Yeah. No, it's, that's really cringy. It's cringy. I'd be cringed out. Top comment, not the asshole.

It's just plain rude to start hijacking events for your proposal. Oh, my sister bought a new house. Perfect situation to make sure it revolves all around my proposal. Yeah. Your brother-in-law sounds like a cheapskate who thought he could get away with it. Is he normally so entitled? Pretty much. He's the youngest so he can get away with anything.

Ew, we hate that. Not today though, buddy. Didn't get away with that one. I want to know, do they redo this? Did he propose again? I would love to know that. He had to have because he didn't get an answer. No.

That's so freaking embarrassing. Maybe she said yes in the car, which is even more like. That sucks. I think I would say no on that fact alone. It's a fact that you just try to propose to me at your sister's housewarming. Try again. And then got, like, intercepted. Yeah.

Well, and so I, like this is cringy, how this played out is cringy. There's no mention of culture being a factor here. And I bring this up because I just saw the most beautiful, beautiful, beautiful video on TikTok. And it was a Lebanese proposal. Did you see it? It went super viral. When I saw it, it had like 800,000 likes. And it was the dad of the groom, like video recording, like selfie mode all day.

And in Lebanese culture, it's custom for the man side, the groom. I don't know what you call a guy that's going to propose. Like, I don't know. It is like a groom, right? I don't know what you call them. Yeah. So I'm like, I'm really struggling here. Yeah, I don't know.

The groom's side, his whole family gets ready. They bring trays of desserts and gifts and treats. Yeah. And they all like walked to the girl's house. Yeah. And... Is that how they propose? Yeah.

That's standard. Yeah. And so the girl comes down and like makes him like a tea or a coffee. And based on his reaction to sipping it, the dad will, like her father will then approve or disprove of the wedding. And so I guess it's got salt in it. It tastes really bad, but he's got to drink it. Like, mmm, really good.

That's like the litmus test. Yeah. And so then he finds out if they approve by they like tie a, like a big string between their two rings and it went on her finger first and then one went on his finger and her dad came up. And if he agrees, he'll cut the string. And like it was this beautiful celebration. All of their families were there, big party.

Then like she gets presents, like she got a diamond bracelet. Oh my gosh. I was like, damn, I want to be Lebanese. Seriously. That's the proposal? It was, and that's what the comments were. The comments were literally saying, and this is just the proposal. Wow.

Like insane. And this schmuck is trying to... Yeah. That's what I'm like, bro. Mid house party, not even his house party. Yeah. Whack. I'll have to post the video on our Instagram when this episode comes out because it's really,

it was so beautiful. That's awesome. And so for cultural things like that, I'm like, yeah, that's a beautiful proposal. Even though it's not like what some people would want, like on a mountainside or like, I don't know, like candles and a string quartet. Like that's amazing. Yeah. I'm like, I would take that.

I like that. This one? Yeah. The Lebanese proposal? Yeah. You want to give me some bracelets and presents and cookies and cake? Yeah. Let's go, baby.

Amazing. Let's go. You're like, I don't even care about the fiancé at that point. No. Just kidding. I thought I knew what I wanted, but that's what I wanted actually. Screw the candles and the nature scene and the photographer and the bush. I want that.

That's awesome. It was beautiful. Yeah. It was really cool. So like, I get proposals can be understated and they can include family and they can be, you know, a family celebration. But like... But this is not it.

But this isn't it. Not it. This was a housewarming party. Yeah. Know your audience. No. Know your audience. Time and a place was not the time, was not the place.

I agree. Yeah. No. Okay. Moving along. Another one of this week's partners is Next Devo. I don't know about you guys, but I really like to do my research before starting new products. And luckily, Next Devo Naturals has all the science to back up how good their CBD is.

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That's 20% off $40 or more at nextevo.com slash THT. This is going to be like the most stories we've ever hit in an episode between you and I. Perfect, perfect. Bam, bam. Between you and I. Yeah. We only get like five in usually.

We talk a lot. What do you normally do? Well, for guest episodes, sometimes I get like 10 because- But like to find a guest. Like you're not a guest really at this point. But that's what I mean. Like a guest. Like a stranger.

But like what do you get with like Justin or like Lauren? Lauren and I talk a decent amount as well. You're telling me you get more stories in with Lauren on her episodes than mine. Sometimes. Look me in the eyes and tell me that. Sometimes. Okay. Justin definitely gets to the mumps.

I'm going to go count. I'm going to go count on the next one. Okay. This next one, also from Emma the asshole week old titled Emma the asshole for suing my parents for my college money. My great aunt set up savings accounts for all of her female relatives in our culture education for women is not really valued and she thought that was bullshit. She lived with her father in London where she was educated.

She went on to attend university and became a doctor. She married a British man. They moved to America and had a great life. She funded the education of as many of her nieces and grand nieces as she could. When she passed away, she left money for every girl relative she could. My parents managed to access the accounts that were set up for my sister and I. They used it to pay for my brother's wedding. My sister didn't care because she got married two years out of high school and had no intention

of going to college. When I graduated, I went to the bank to get money for school and it was almost all gone. There was like 13,000 left. I asked my parents about it and they said they had needed the money. I finally found out where the money went. I got furious. I got student loans and moved out. I'm a great source of shame to them and I don't give two fucks.

I'm currently suing them for the money that was left for me. My entire family is against me. They all think I'm a complete asshole for airing private family business in public and that I am putting money ahead of family. My friends are all on my side, but they are all Americans and don't really get my culture. Neither do I, to be honest. My brother called me up and offered to pay for my university if I dropped the lawsuit. I agreed as long as we had a legally binding contract.

He said I was being an asshole for not trusting him. I said he should not have accepted my money for his wedding. It is causing all kinds of embarrassment in our community. I am somewhat ashamed to be doing this, but I don't want to have this debt that I should not have. Am I the asshole? I don't think so. No.

I do not think so at all. Completely inappropriate that her parents use what is meant to be a college fund, a legacy for her to start her life on a wedding. A wedding is not about bettering your future. You can get married and the establishment of marriage might help your future. It might reduce your taxes and have certain societal and social benefits, but it doesn't elevate your future in the same way that a college education could for someone. Yeah.

I completely agree. What the fuck? Wedding is a choice. A college degree is almost a necessity nowadays. You can't do shit. Or society has made us perceive that we can't do anything without a degree. Right. This one really frustrates me.

I agree. Yeah. I think you said it best. Move on. No other thoughts? No. Let's go. You want to wrap it, baby?

Not the asshole. Move on. Let's go. Come on. No. People are going to be like, I want to hear your thoughts. You heard my thoughts. Not the asshole.

I feel like you're not suing over money, you're suing over opportunity. That sucks. But at the end of the day, truly, for real, a family does not exempt you from wrongdoing. Your family member committing a defense on you, you're not safe because you're family. There's a different understanding when you're family. There's different arrangements when you're a family, sure. But no, I think that this was an opportunity that she's being potentially robbed of and she's defending herself and protecting herself.

Yeah, I agree. And why couldn't the brother take out loans for his wedding? Yeah. Like, I don't know. Or the parents, if they want to help so much, why couldn't they take out loans for his wedding? It's interesting to see how cultures will shift with weddings and who pays for them because I know my brother and his wife, they took out thousands of dollars of debt for their wedding.

They had family help a little, but my brother said he had like 35K or 40K in credit card debt from their wedding. And so... Yeah, very, very expensive, but it sounds like the culture values the wedding over her education. Yeah. And that's why I think her family being guilt-tripping her, like you're putting private family business in public, you're putting money ahead of family, and it's almost like there's that guilt.

And there's this thing my dad talks about, he's like, there's Jewish guilt, and it almost seems like whatever culture she's a part of, it's almost like it's that culture's guilt. They're guilting her to step in line. It's like, we could handle this privately. And the brother tried to, and I think asking for a legally binding contract is the bare minimum because if you're not going to do that, then I'm going to sue. I'm going to make sure. Exactly.

I think parents better figure out a payment plan or you're going to court, baby. Yeah. I think that's the fair thing to do. Also, like, I wonder how much was in there originally. Because the brother being like, well, I'll pay for your education, but it's like, well, what was the original amount? Because I would want what I'm owed. But what if your owed was less than your education?

Then it's... You don't want to negotiate against yourself. I would say there was only 40K in there and your tuition's 60K a year. I'm taking his offer. But what if it's less? You'll never know. It's a hypothetical. I wonder if now that she has access to the account, if she can tell what the starting

balance was. She can. So I would suggest she do that before she get into a negotiation with her brother because... You're out here. I'm playing checkers and you're out here playing chess. I do this all day, every day, baby, and negotiate like it's my day job because it quite literally is. We do have some comments from OP.

A lot of people being like, not the asshole, your parents didn't borrow your money. They stole it. I hope they have all the documents to show... I hope you have all the documents to show that the money was yours. Your brother is also the asshole for trying to get you to drop a lawsuit with what is most likely a lie, which is also true because why wouldn't you just want to sign a contract then? Exactly.

And they go on to say, if you have a chance to start life without student debt, you do whatever you can to do that. Your parents, and I'm sorry, but their culture sounds completely toxic. I'm glad you got out. OP responds, the student law center at my university is helping me with everything. Wow. I have proof that the money was mine. I'm trying to do everything I can so this does not become a criminal matter.

Ooh. That's a little white-collar criminal. Yeah. Yeah, I think I was wrong by all accounts. It would be very, very painful to pursue legal recourse against your family. I'm sure that's never easy, but it's one of those things where what's the alternative? You don't and you just live your whole life trying to make up for the debts that somebody else created.

Student debt. You know what I mean? That seems more unfair to me, to live your life almost like trying to catch up because of what someone deemed was more important than your education. It's not even like, I don't think there's ever a just reason to do that, but it's not even like listen, this person was like, you had medical bills, we'll pay you back. Even that, you should not take people's money for any reason without asking, but at the very least, if it was like your back's up against the wall and there's necessity, but

for a wedding, I'm sorry, weddings are beautiful, but like you said, they're optional. They're not necessities. They're not going to further you in life. You have a party and it's amazing, it's beautiful and everyone moves on. It's also one day and education is preparing her for the rest of her life and I think you said it so, so well where it's like, you shouldn't be punished because someone else put you in this hole that you didn't have to be in. That's how my student debt feels, honestly, I haven't made a payment on it even now making

some money. I just, I'm like, well, they're on hold and I'll deal with it when I have to. It's still sitting there, 200K, just, but is it a crewing interest? Honestly, it might be. I should probably look at it. Yeah. She's logging into FAFSA right now. Melnet.

Just kidding. Melnet, that's what I use. Melnet is my debt holder. Melnet, you. I do think a lot of us kind of live in this world where our student debt, no matter if we make all the payments and do everything we're supposed to do, we're not going to be able to dig ourselves out of this hole. There's so many people that, oh, I've paid 80K into my student loan.

The original balance on it was 40K, but because of interest, I'm never going to get out. No. Yeah. No, it's, I mean, you guys, we could do a whole episode on student loan debt. Okay. It somehow went down. Okay. Maybe you're making payments.

No, it's a crewing interest. So it went up? I don't know. It's hard to look at. So my current. It is hard to look at. My current balance. No, you're going to read all of this out?

Yeah. Oh my God. We keep no secrets over here at Two Hot Takes. No. My current balance is 198,269.68. I feel like it went down because it definitely was like 200. There was a 200. Yeah.

And my outstanding principal is 180,000. I have almost 18,000 in interest. It's actually not bad. Do you know what your interest rate is? That's not good. But it, I don't, don't ask me to do that. How do I look at that? They should tell you, are they bundled into one loan?

Oh hell no. Do you have ABCD, you know what I mean? I don't even know. You can know. Go look at your loan breakdown. My estimated monthly payment is going to be 2,500. Are you serious? In this economy?

How? How does anyone? Who does that? Who? What? What? Okay. Maybe I shouldn't have looked at this.

Yeah. Why did you do this? That was really violent. I'm stressed out now. I got to go home and work so I can. Oh, 3.4% interest, 6.8. That's not terrible. Wait.

You have a 6.8. Morgan? I should probably pay that one first. You should pay that one down. It's only 3,000. Pay that one tonight. 4.6, 4.6, 4.29, 3.7, 3.7, 7%. That one you should pay.

That one's 30 grand. Pay it down. You don't pay the whole thing. Okay. Have we talked about bundling them? I have a lot that are 6%. Have we talked about bundling them? Because we can maybe aggregate.

What if I just called and said, I'll give you, I'll give you $20. Call it even. Take it or leave it. Best I can do is $20 and a shout out on the pocket. Nailed that. Everybody here loves that. Nailed that. We're going to start a new trend where we collab with student loans.

Oh, no. Oh, my God. Hey, do you guys take exposure for payment? Hotels don't even take that anymore. That's student loans. I nailed that if I shout you guys out. Oh, my God. I need a professional debt helper.

Okay. I need a selection letter in the mail. Are you crying? My student loans are out of control. Okay. One thing at a time. What I think you should do on a real note is see if you can consolidate your loans and get a lower interest rate.

Yeah. 7% is really high. And so is 6. Yeah. Anything over 5 is a little high. It's not good. It's not good. But that $3,000 one for 6%, you should just pay that one off.

You should just get rid of that one. Yeah. Is that 6% is going to? Oh, no. There's 7. It's going to move. There's 7%. 7%.

All right. Where are you at, Biden? Joe. Where are you at, Joey? Come on. Joe. Oh, man. Phoning a friend.

Yeah. It's interesting. I definitely need to consolidate it or I need one of those professional debt people to contact me because I saw this video on TikTok where if you have like a lot of money that you owe, you can call them and be like, hey, I'll make a deal. You can cut a deal with the government. I'll pay you outright right now. I'll pay to quit.

So like I owe 30K. I'll pay you 20 today and we're done. Really? People do these deals. Is that a settlement? What is that? I heard it called like pay to quit. I don't know if that's just for like debt collection because your debt has been sold.

Yeah. Now net might not do that. I don't know if... I'm going to be honest, not to rain on your parade. I don't know if student loans operate like traditional debt. Yeah. They don't. They can't even be like...

Or is it medical debt? That can't be... I'm pretty sure student loans can't even be gone wiped with bankruptcy is what it is. They stick with you for life. We're going to have to get crazy. It's fine. I'm just kidding. It's fine.

It's fine. It's fine. Just subscribe. If everything will... Just subscribe. I'm just kidding. Sorry. But is it okay?

What's really crazy? And I love watching these videos on TikTok where people are like, let's pull our money together and buy this homeless person like a hotel for a week and everyone just gives a dollar. And like one dollar times, however many people, it's like a dollar for you is so easy. But with the collective, look at the big change. And I will all figure my student debt out. Everyone's money is better served going to charity.

For sure. It's fine. But it's just crazy how it's like there's over 200,000 hot takes listeners. If everyone gave me a quarter, like literally just a quarter, I'm not asking for it. Are you sure? Maybe. That's why GoFundMe's are so interesting. Yeah.

Like you see them raise funny. Whoa. Oh my God. We can't talk tonight. We're fucked up. I know. We're just like the thought of student debt just really changed my brain chemistry. GoFundMe's are so fascinating because it is exactly what you just explained.

It's like a source of crowdfunding. It's a group of people giving one dollar, five dollars and that adds up really quick. Excuse you. Do you have somewhere to be? I think she's trying to get down. Sorry. How can I help you? She's limping.

She has three legs. She only has three legs now. What? She has like a tendon issue and so she only uses three legs. I didn't know that. Yeah. My dog Holly for those listening on audio is she's 15 these days and she's just an old gal.

When did she start doing that? She's looking at us so concerned. Because she's using three legs. I've never seen her do that. Yeah. No, it's been going on for a couple months now. Is that normal? The vet says it doesn't hurt her.

I asked if he wanted to amputate and he doesn't want to amputate yet. She looks really good. She looks fine. She looks great. She runs still. She just holds that one up. Oh, that was so sad. Okay.

Sorry. You told me I was being tangential but listen, this is for the record not my- You're fine. I didn't do this one. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. It's all fine.

Yeah. So don't think you're the asshole. Sue away. That's so anyway. Enough about me. You're not the asshole. Enough about me. Yeah.

The top comment is one we did read that OP responded to. So it seems like it's all going to get worked out. Someone did ask like not the asshole. Not the asshole. How much was stolen? And OP goes enough that both my sister and I could have finished our undergraduate degrees without debt. That really hurts.

I want to see pictures from the wedding. You guys better popped off in fucking Dubai for what you just spent. I wonder if they spent it all on his wedding or were using it to fund their lifestyle too. Weddings are expensive nowadays. I wouldn't be that surprised. You can pull off a seven-figure wedding. I'm just popping a tent up in my yard. Yeah.

I'm like, I can't. Yeah, I can. I don't even want to think about it. I can't think about it. As long as everyone's fed and has a good drink, whatever they choose to partake in, I'm going to have edibles. I'm going to. It's going to be fun.

So it doesn't need to look perfect. Yeah. Don't quote me on that. You guys are going to see the wedding. I have it. Yeah, I know. They're going to play this. You're going to be like, this didn't age well.

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That's pdsdebt.com slash tht. Take back your financial freedom today by visiting pdsdebt.com slash tht. This is definitely a tough love question mark one, I think. So it is titled, am I the asshole for calling my sister stupid and her and her husband shitty parents from the start because of what they want to name their kid? OK, so just a little context because this topic is incredibly touchy for me. I am a man who has given a woman's name at birth. A good example is naming your son Alice.

It's not what my name was, but it's close. My parents are hippie and gave their oldest son a girl's name to stick it to the man. And I will never forgive them for it. The name caused me to be bullied and damaged my professional life in ways I cannot describe. Power of a name. We have said that a lot of name. My sister is pregnant with her first child, a girl. She and her husband are ecstatic.

It just sucks that she inherited my parents stupid propensity to see their children as fashion statements. What's what does that word mean? I don't know. Can you look that up? Look up propensity, my little pea brain, propensity, an inclination or natural tendency to behave in a particular way, a propensity for violence. OK, it just sucks that she inherited my parents stupid propensity to see their

children as fashion statements. Last night, she revealed to the family the name of her daughter. It's Crystal. K-R-X-S-T-X-L. So X's instead of Y's. Yeah. She wants to name her daughter Crystal. Confused, the name is pronounced Crystal.

I already don't like that name, but it's at least appropriate. He spelled out Crystal normal. Yeah. I was not surprised to learn that my mom helped come up with the name. When she told me, I told her it was a terrible idea. If she wants to name her Crystal, name her Crystal. She tried to explain to me why the X's are there. And I just told her it does not matter.

I want to know. She's naming a human, not a dog. I don't care what kind of fashion statement she's trying to make. This is a person who will have to live with that name until they die or has it changed. She and my mom brushed me off as just complaining because I was never able to accept my name. I told my sister she was being either selfish, stupid, or an incredibly strong combination of the two if she thinks her daughter will want a stupid name like Crystal with X's. We got into an argument and I told her I already see her and her husband as shitty

parents for using their kid to be off brand with her name and left right after. My sister is not taking it well at all. And my mom is furious at me. I'm starting to wonder if I was too harsh. I will not change my opinion on that incredibly stupid name. But I'm wondering if branding her as a shitty parent was too far. I'm going to go with that analysis. I think calling her a shitty parent was going too far.

I don't love the name Crystal with X's, just fully transparent. It doesn't look good when you see it. Not my cup of tea. Like this is what it, oh, let me see. This is what it looks like. Don't love. It looks like an element on the periodic chart. It does.

You know, it looks like a typo. Well, and people only looks like a typo. And people aren't going to know it's Crystal. They're going to be like, Crick Stuxel. No one, no one's going to look at that and say Crystal. Like people can barely pronounce the most rudimentary names. I barely forgive my parents for naming me Alejandra. Like we're still working through that.

Sarah, Megan, I don't know any name that you can know. Your name is so beautiful. I'm not saying it's not beautiful. It is a beautiful, but my whole life, I sympathize with this OP because my whole life, I mean, I could have paid my college tuition if I had a dollar every time I had to correct somebody. That is true. Yeah.

I mean, it's, it's constantly an uphill battle because so many people can't pronounce Alejandra. And people have even come on here and been like, you're not even pronouncing your name correctly because I'm actually saying it in the American way. That's not even, you know, technically right. People forget, and I keep seeing a lot of videos on this. People forget different languages have different pronunciations

even for the same word. It's like croissant or croissant. Oh, that's good. Yeah, that's nice. I don't know how that happened. That's very beautiful. You know, but right, but regardless, like. I'm practicing my French.

I'm actually, sounds great. Let's practice together. It's whatever. I mean, the moral of the story is I can first hand sympathize for anyone who has a name that is difficult by the masses to pronounce in America. Let's put it that way. And I just, I, I don't know if I will have kids,

but one thing I have already said to myself is that I will intentionally choose names that are generally easy to pronounce because I did not like growing up with a name that was really hard for people, cunt, bullied, you know, you know the story with my teacher, like gas lit about my own name. Like just, I don't, I don't want to do that. If I can avoid it, you know, and while other people like your name is so beautiful, it's so unique, like, and then it's like

the grass is always greener, right? So I can see that perspective of like, I would encourage people don't choose the name that's making people do triple backflips with their tongue to say, but at the same time, I do believe that what you choose your child is subjective. It's your choice at the end of the day. That's your baby. So I don't think anyone should tell you what you should and

shouldn't name your baby. I'm also a firm believer in that you shouldn't share your names before, because I think people will always weigh in with their opinions. I'm kind of glad she did though, because this is a bad name. I don't love that name. I will agree. I think it's good.

I think Crystal is in a very, it's going to fight a lot of battles growing up. We'll put it that way. Yeah, especially with this, I mean, this spelling is, it's a tough spelling. Even my name, I have two first names. A lot of you guys probably don't even know that, but my first name is Morgan Ashley.

It's not even a hyphenated like Mary Kate, it's a space, which my mom should have done a dash because I think more people would have understood it, but I have two first names Morgan Ashley. People struggle to say your name. They just don't, they don't get it. They put Ashley as my middle name. Yeah. Like they think it's my middle name.

I could see that though. Well, especially because of the fact to fucking Facebook, 2012, 2008 or whatever. 2008. I don't know what it was. 2008. People like, it was a trend to then go on Facebook and put your like middle name on your profile too.

So everyone did that. And it's like, yeah, no, my first name is Morgan Ashley. I'm not being trendy. Yeah. The hyphen, the hyphen would have helped for sure. Yeah. I'm going to go legally change my name soon though. Anyways, so I just, I'll deal with it then.

Yeah. It sucks. I just redid my passport. But I mean, I just don't see the point in giving your child that name. No one can say it. Nobody would know unless you're telling me like there's some, like in other cultures. So for example, my sister, Fernanda, that's actually her middle name. Her real name is Jimena.

Jimena is spelled with an X. It is X I M E N A. My mom literally at the last second goes, nevermind, because she was like, no one's going to be able to say it. And that she was born in the year that the X-Men movie came out. And so my mom was like, I can hear the jokes X-Menna. Like she was like, I'm not doing that to her. So Fernanda's legal name is Jimena Fernanda.

Oh my gosh. And my mom flips it. So it's Fernanda Jimena. And so coming from that, like Jimena with an X is silent. So that makes sense. My mom wasn't trying to be funny. Like that's how you say it in, you know, Spanish culture. Here, I don't know if there's a culture where X is pronounced and I could be wrong.

We could be wrong here. It seems like it's more just putting the X in there to be like edgy. I don't know. Yeah. It's giving like Elon Musk and Grimes, baby. But what is that? I couldn't tell you what that name is. It's like X-O-E-X.

It's like an equation. Why do that to your kids? Exactly. So it's giving that same energy where it's like, you're just trying to be very different. If I, if I said my baby names, you guys would be like, those are crazy names. Like they're very different, but they're easy to pronounce. Yeah. So I'm not here to judge.

Like I love a different name. Yeah. Contrary to growing up with a different name. To each their own. Yes. To each their own. But I don't think that this name, I mean, you guys, like you'll see it. We'll put it up or something.

Yeah. It's not. Put it up. Yup. It's not something that would make any sense. It's weird. Well, and this person even has me thinking like, I think a girl name for a boy because of where a society at is harder, but I love like Blake Lively.

It's a more masculine name and her daughter is James. Oh my gosh. Funny. I know someone who wants to name their daughter James. I love boy names for girls. Yeah, Tyler. I don't like the only girl name I like is one, but it's Scandinavian. So I feel like it doesn't really count.

But I want like very gender neutral names. Nice. Yeah. Or boy names for a girl. One of the names I have for my girl, I'll tell you offline is a boy name. I really like the name Francis. That's cute. And I watched too much rain.

You know the show on Netflix rain? No. Oh God. There's a Francis on there. He was so cute. That's a cute name. Francis for a boy, for a girl. Either.

Yeah. Because you, for a girl, you could call her Franny. Cute. Franny. I don't know. That's cute. I have a list. I have a list.

I have a list. If anyone has like really good Scandinavian names, let me know. Put them in the comments. You can compare notes later. I, but I'm, I'm like not telling anybody names because, because you get so much, like you get criticism and I don't want to get talked out of it. Yeah. But I don't have any like nouns disguised as like code or anything like that.

So overall vote on this was not the asshole and it's got 20,000 upvotes. So people saw it even though it's only three days old. Top comment. It's going to get downvoted, but as someone who changed their name the moment they turned 18, you're right. She is stupid. Not the asshole. It's a horrendous name that will do nothing, but get the child bullied.

It's not unique or cute. Her child is not necessary. I personally think stupid crap like this should fall under child abuse. I don't know if I, well, I mean, I don't know. I guess if your kid is going to get bullied and shoved in a toilet or gum put in her hair, like you're setting her up for failure. I, I guess. Yeah.

I don't know that that, that's a bridge too far for me. But I see where they're going. I see the thinking. Yeah. This person makes another good comment one down. I should have changed my weird German name, live in the U S that my German mother gave me at 18, have faced discrimination and even used a nickname on legal documents.

No one who isn't German can say it. Yeah. It's hard having a name that people don't can't pronounce. And I think they've actually done, sorry, this is not a tangent. It's directly related to it. It's like they've done kind of like some blind studies to see if names on resumes like impact, they do feedback. And it's interesting how like if you do give your girl a boy name,

they like have a better chance. And I have an ex-boyfriend who is black, comes from a black family, and he told me that his mom purposely gave them all like quote, air quotes, white sounding names to try to help them, like to try to like give them a leg up. So they all have like white sounding names on paper, which I don't know what you'd call like a white sounding name. Like again, that's a little subjective. Chris, Matt.

I guess. I don't know, but like Carl. Yeah. So that's, that was her thinking. And, but my point is like, people think that way. It's something that apparently can affect or advantage or disadvantage your candidacy or your resume. So it'd be interesting to see like if on that based alone, like I can't pronounce

your name, like I don't want to like hire you. I don't want to interview you. Honestly, I could see it. I think people don't get hired over less. You think so? Yeah. Absolutely. And even Jordan mentioned, because Jordan has a boy name, Jordan.

Yeah. And she's even mentioned on the episode she came on. And she's like, my boy name has helped me. And I know my called your mate, Alex. Wow. Literally, she would say I got this job because they thought I was a guy. Well, how do you know that? Sorry, Yand.

How do, how do people know that? How did like you fact check that? Because your employer like, so I'm going to be honest with you. I thought you were a dude. Jordan has been told that. Really? I think Alex was, but mostly based on emails. Like people are really quick to respond.

Like dear sir. Mr. Hansen. They'll be like, thank you, Mr. Hansen. Like, do you, does she play into it? I think she did. She's like, I'm not going to correct them when they see me. They'll know. Like, it's fine.

So that's so fun. She just rolled with it. Yeah. It's not what, uh, what does the patriarchy can do for you or whatever? I don't know. I'm trying to flip the Kennedy quote. It's not what you can do for your, what is that quote? Don't ask me.

I'm like over two on the quotes. What your country can do for you. It's what you can do for your country. Yeah. But insert patriarchy or like, whatever. See what you can do for your patriarchy. Isn't that helping the patriarchy? I don't know.

Use, use this stupid shit to your advantage. Yeah. I agree with that. Like if it's bottom line, yeah, you like spin it, use it for your, for your game. If we got to deal with this stupid shit. Yeah. We might as well make it play into it. Play into it.

Yeah. Yeah. Play the game then. Moving along. I constantly question, is this normal? Do I have this condition? Why aren't I feeling good? Maybe it means this and it's not the best to go down that rabbit hole on your

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I can be quick. Lightning McQueen. I love Disneyland so much. That's why I'm wearing my Disney jacket. It's so cute, it's so cute. Yeah, literally, I love that TikTok trend too. It's like me literally like showing up to work on time. My favorite co-worker.

During the bare minimum. I just need that all day. Me not getting arrested with parents. Lightning McQueen. Mine was not able to do that. I did get arrested. What? Yeah, I don't know this story.

I was 16. I was shoplifting at Fleet Farm. I did not know that. You got arrested. Were you in handcuffs? No, he didn't cuff me. So you didn't get arrested? I was booked.

You were detained. I was, well, I got to take it for shoplifting. But you weren't arrested. Well, he didn't put me in the back of the cop car. He gave my mom the choice. What, to handcuff you? Yeah. He literally said, ma'am, I will give you two options.

I can put her in handcuffs and bring her to the Lionel Lakes facility until you come down and check her out. Because my mom was three hours away. I had no family. I was traveling. He's like, or I can let her go. And my mom was, she said she was so close to just trying to teach me a lesson. Yeah, but she let me go.

She let you go. Wait, what were you stealing? Oh, I stole so much shit. What? Morgan. I had a camo jacket, a pair of leather choppers, a horse halter, some stupid animal figurines from the kids section. Where were you putting all of this?

On my person or in my purse. But I knew how to like look around the camera. I was like, I was really, really good at shoplifting. I think if it was a sport, I would have been metal worthy. Yeah. Olympics level. But I didn't, I never stole from people. Weird flex.

I just stole from like the buckle and from the Abercrombie. Capitalism. Yeah. The big brands. Okay. I had a friend though in high school. She like stole a target vacuum, like a vacuum, like a Dyson from Target. She walked out of Target with a vacuum.

Went to the display area, took it out of the box and rolled it out. Literally. And she got away with it. Yeah. You deserve it. Like, yeah. Bravo. I mean, you deserve it.

I, yeah. At that point, shame on Target. The big gaslighting, the corporation. She took a, she took a printer too. She needed like a. Who is this legend? She needed a printer for school. Who is this legend?

She walked into Target and walked out with a printer. Yeah. I need, I'll fly, I need you to tell me who this is. I need to know where I can find this unsung hero. Yeah. It wasn't that bad, but it was funny because we were going to a hockey tournament to watch my ex-boyfriend play hockey. Oh, so bad the more I say it.

Um, and I had like $600 cash in my purse for like the hotel and food and gas and all this stuff. And as I was getting detained, the cop like goes through everything and he's like, you have all this money. Why didn't you just buy this stuff? And I look at him, I go, I don't know. For the thrill of it, sir. I don't know.

He's such a weirdo. Good for you. Bless and learn. I've been telling the story a lot lately. He keeps coming up for some reason. Yeah. I've never heard that story. That's a good one.

That's a good one. Okay. So this next one is titled, am I the asshole for not telling my brother? My girlfriend plays tennis. I, 25 female have been dating my girlfriend, 29 female for a year and a half. My family never had a problem with my sexual orientation and they adore my girlfriend. However, she's a lawyer and pretty professional with most people.

So those who don't know her well, take her for a person who only knows how to work and nothing else. She doesn't usually correct anyone, but she is good at a lot of things. My brother, 28 male, and I have always had a kind of rivalry going on. He was the golden child and still loves rubbing things in my face. It is mostly playful, but it gets very disturbing at times. Ever since I started dating my girlfriend, things have escalated a little bit. He would find the smallest, dumbest mistake I make and turn it into a huge

issue. We were on vacation with my extended family, including uncles, cousins, et cetera. And my girlfriend was also with us. There was a tennis court and my brother started challenging everyone to a mini tournament. My girlfriend is an excellent tennis player. She plays tennis three days a week, but she was talking to my dad.

So she said she'd rather pass. He wasn't having it, but I talked to my brother out of it and said my girlfriend wasn't interested. After a few games, my brother came after her and started jokingly teasing her about being scared to play. My girlfriend accepted the challenge and destroyed him on the court. Literally everyone was cheering for her and he lost the game. My girlfriend didn't even celebrate her win and said it wasn't fair to my

brother because he was playing with someone at a much higher level. He later told me I was an absolute asshole for allowing him to make a fool out of himself. He said I told him she wasn't interested and that he thought I meant she didn't know how to play your fault. I still don't know what his issue is, but I kind of feel guilty after he lost so badly. Should I have told him my girlfriend was a pro?

No, sorry. What? He interpreted that incorrectly. That is not on your, it's not your burden to say, no, he, it's not like the brother said, is she a professional level player and you lied? He was okay making her look bad when he thought she didn't know how to play. Exactly. So he wanted to get someone out there and embarrass her and make her look bad.

But he had the opposite. And so that's why he's upset. Exactly. No. You were being an asshole. Yeah. You, yes. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, nothing was wrong.

Nothing was done wrong. No. Um, the family out there. Lightning McQueen. I'm so happy that she finally got her moment because I've felt that way about certain instances where people box you in a certain thing and think that you're a certain way and you're so much more than that. And I love that she got this moment to show off and show out, unfortunately at

the demise of this brother, but like, she got to show off a skill that no one got to know her for. Like everyone knows her as the lawyer and like this brilliant person, but like no one got to see the sporty, like athletic version of her. And like, yeah, sorry, buddy. Like you signed up for a challenge. You got a challenge just because you didn't win means it was an unfair advantage.

Like, no. Well, and it's like, if he had won, he would have gone around bragging that he beat such a good player. Absolutely. Absolutely. This feels like a mess with the bull, get the horns. This is definitely a tough love situation where it's like your sister tried to save you.

Like the girlfriend even turned you down and said, I don't want to play. Yeah. I'm talking to your dad. Like, I'm good. Like you had her decline. Your sister tried to save you. Literally, like what? No, yeah, you, you deserve to be embarrassed next time.

Maybe you won't be such a dick about it. Yeah. You wanted to play and you got a game. Tough love, baby. Yeah, that was a good one. The top comment on it is basically just saying, not the asshole. This is funny as fuck. Honestly.

Yeah. So like, there's like a little bit of poetic justice here. Oh, it's, I love this. I love this. This is what tough love is supposed to be. Yes. Like this is well executed. Kind of just like tough love.

Yeah. Like, like you didn't really suffer. No. You were embarrassed for a little bit in front of your own family. I mean, if I'm going to be embarrassed, yeah, I hope it's in front of my family. Like, yeah, you know, I know that's not the case for everyone. Some people would rather like take a huge L than be embarrassed in front of their family.

I get it. But this is like you said, this is a tough love where everyone walks away like relatively unscathed. Yes. Like you'll be okay tomorrow. Give it one to two business days. That's the best way to describe what tough love should be. Yeah.

Everyone will be okay. Yeah. You might, you know, have your ego bruised a little bit. Sure. But it's not permanent damage. And you'll be better for it. Yeah. Because you're going to think twice before you mess with the bull.

One and two, maybe you're up your game, big dog. Like get out there, practice your tennis a little more. I don't know. In order to get better in life, not to be philosophical, you should challenge yourself. If you feel like you're getting comfortable, you're getting good at tennis, go find the best tennis player and go play with them. They're going to up your game. So I think like at the end of the day, like this is a good reason, this is a good way

to show tough love because he's going to think before he gets really big and bad and challenges people that he's not even sure about. And it's going to give you a little competitive edge. Like, yeah, I completely, completely agree. I think you said it so well. I, um, as we were like talking about this, the story that popped into my head, that is like the perfect, the perfect example of what tough love shouldn't be. Is that period story with the autistic girl?

Yes, yes, yes. And like there's very stark differences between the two, right? Like permanent damage, not permanent damage, but I agree. He should be thankful. He got to play against basically a legend, you know, a legend, someone who is pro. Yeah. I really want to get into tennis. I would too, but I got a skirt.

I'm ready. I have a skirt too. I think we have the same skirt. We have the same skirt. I love that skirt. Yeah. It's so good. Um, I am always down to play tennis with you.

It's hard. I, it's hard. Tennis is hard. I don't move that fast anymore. I don't, I never did. We're going to have to like really just kind of loft them. I also get nervous. Like I will, I'm pretty athletic across the board, but when it comes to

hand-eye coordination, yeah, I just, it's my depth perceptions. Very off like, okay, let's play though. Let's, let's give it a run. Maybe pickleball would be better for us. Cause if old, my dad plays pickleball or he did before his little, um, fender bender where someone hit him. Now he's got neck issues, but yeah, like long time ago, but if like old people can play pickleball, like I think we could, what's the difference?

Um, you play with a paddle and like a whiffle ball, like the ball with holes in it. So the only difference is you have paddles instead of rackets and whiffle balls instead of tennis balls. I think so. You still have to move across the court. Is the whiffle ball just lower? I think so. Let's try it.

We'll evaluate. Okay. One more. Last one. This one is titled, am I the asshole for my reaction to my birthday present? I female 29 met will male 30 six years ago. When I moved into a new apartment close to university, he was my next door neighbor and offered to help me put together flat pack furniture.

We really hit it off and have been together ever since will was married right out of high school to someone who was not a very good match. They were young, dumb and made a colossal mistake. Will recognizes now how crazy it was to marry someone at 18, but at the time they really thought it was a good idea. That being said, the breakup and the fallout was terrible. This was before I met will, but it sounds like both sides were out to inflict as much pain as possible.

Fortunately, there were no children or assets, but it was not a smooth process by any means. Will reached out to his ex-wife relatively recently about two years ago to apologize for all the pain he put her through, which I thought was quite nice of him to do. She also apologized for her actions, but both agreed that they did not want to stay in contact. However, coming out of that will told me that he has realized he never wants to get married again. This was a surprise to me, but I have never really wanted the white

picket fence, so no marriage didn't really bother me. I am happy just to be in a long term committed relationship. Recently it was my birthday and we had some people over for a barbecue. It was really lovely, but will insisted be due presence in front of everyone. I haven't ever really done that, but I didn't have any issues with it. Everyone gifted me really sweet and thoughtful items and it was a blast until I got to will's gift. Will had been really bragging about how this was the perfect gift

and I had to save the best for last. It was a diamond tipped drill set. To be clear, I don't own a drill and have no interest in anything related to drills. My face fell and will burst out laughing, saying that the joke is that these diamonds are the only diamonds I could ever expect to receive from him. Quote, get it because we aren't ever getting engaged. I was so humiliated.

I excused myself and went into the house and I suppose that everyone left after a while will tried to then give me my real present later that evening because the drill bits were only meant as a joke, but I didn't even open it because I couldn't understand why he was so cruel in front of all of my friends. Will says that I'm overreacting when I have another gift and I agreed that we wouldn't get married. I feel really hurt and will doesn't seem to get it.

Am I overreacting? No, that's humiliating. That's really bad. And I'm not, it's not humiliating because they don't want marriage. I think that's perfectly fine. Big proponent for that. I think you didn't need to make it into a mockery. I think it's the way in which he like created the charade almost to purposely make her feel embarrassed when it's nothing to be embarrassed about.

Like if you guys don't want to get married, that's fine. If you're not going to get her a diamond ever. Okay, that's also fine. But you made it into this like joke on her and that wasn't cool in front of an audience. No. And it's, it's, I know like our writer here kind of says like, it's fine. Like I never really saw a white picket fence for myself. So like no marriage is fine.

Like I'm happy to be in a long term committed relationship with someone I love. And I think there's like kind of this point that a lot of people face, especially if you do have the desire to get married and you've waited a long time for a proposal where you might want something, but you realize that being with the person you're with is better than getting that other thing. So you compromise on that. It might be something you want.

It might be something you like are like, oh, well, I would do it if it was there, but like I'm not 100% need to have it. So I'll compromise. I'll sacrifice that because I have this great, amazing relationship person. But just because someone is going to compromise doesn't mean you then take that thing and rub it in their face in a weird way. Exactly. It's icky.

Exactly. It's icky. I don't like the way he did it. He made it, he made it. It was something that didn't need to have shame around it. And I feel like he created shame around it. Like the fact that he was like, you got to open this gift last, like best for last and kind of created a buildup around it and then created an

audience. Like he wanted her to feel like, I don't know in what universe she was going to open that and everyone was going to just like laugh and find the joke there. I think it's, it's more insulting because it was staged. I don't know how anyone would find it funny. I don't get the joke. I don't, I don't really know either. What was the joke?

We talked about this in another episode that when it's like, sometimes people make really offensive jokes. And sometimes when you really boil it down, you're like, what is the joke? He's trying to like prove a point that he's never going to marry her. That's the thing, but that's not a joke. It's just a fact. It's one thing to say that like, let's just say she weren't, she wasn't a drills or something comes across that has diamonds in it.

And then he cracks a joke like, well, don't get used to it. They're the only diamonds you're going to get out of me since we're not going to marry like between them and private in an organic setting, like maybe. But this felt like orchestrated in a way to poke fun at her. And I can't seem to understand why. Yeah. And I think you say it really well where it's like, if she was into drills and he got her the bit, then it would make more sense, right?

But he went out of his way to find something that she doesn't even like to make the joke. Yes. So it's like, if a joke happen, stance comes about where she's really in a DIY and wants new drill bits and a new, a new hardware set or whatever. Okay, babe, they're diamonds. Like, don't ever say I didn't get you diamond. I had to get you a diamond one way or another. Like I know we're not getting married, but like I had to get you diamonds one way or another.

That's like playful and fun. Like that's lighthearted and more cute. Not these are the only diamonds I'm ever going to get you. And then ha psych. You don't even like drills. It's all so mean. Like as I'm saying it out loud, I'm like laughing at like how evil it is. Yeah.

Well, and I think based on the reaction to our OP here might actually realize like this is kind of something I want. Or at the bare minimum, I don't want a partner who's going to be cruel to me in, yeah, for no reason and then call the joke. Which giving like this whole story about, oh, they got divorced really young. They were both inflicting as much pain as they could on each other. They both were or he was and you're only hearing his side. And he thinks he's a victim in this too.

Yeah. That's what this is giving. Yeah. Like, I don't know. Something's off here. Something's off here. And it's not like she opened the story by saying regardless of what my partner went through in their last marriage and divorce, I've personally never really seen myself

as the type to want to get married. It's never really, but she's saying like he doesn't want to get married and that's okay because I didn't really see myself as a white. It's almost like an afterthought. Yeah. Instead of it just organically being like setting the stage. Like for clarity, I've never even really wanted to get married or envisioned to marriage for myself.

And it just so happens that he's so scarred from his divorce. He also doesn't want to get married again. It's kind of like, are you sure you don't want marriage or have you convinced yourself that you don't want marriage? That's what I think. Are you settling for that? I think, I think sometimes people do. I think sometimes people realize, nope, my partner is more important.

I'm happy. It's just a piece of paper. But then I think there are a lot that do settle. And I think that's the case here. No overall vote on this one. As far as like votes and tallying, I think it was removed pretty quickly. There's no tough love there. Just cruel.

That's what I was thinking. I'm like, this isn't tough love. Like this is, this is just the top comment. And a lot of the votes I do see are not the asshole. So there's some people with, with reason here, unlike him. Top comment is not the asshole. That's a really horrible thing to do anyways. To do it in front of others is despicable.

Even if you're fine with not getting married, turning it into a joke is not okay. Jokes only work when both sides are laughing. For him to see how hurt you are and not immediately apologize profusely is a sign that he doesn't care about how you feel. Exactly. Yeah. Someone next comment down gives this quote. They like quote and they go, I bought a baby rattle because you can't have kids.

And it didn't like click to me. Like I was trying to think of another example and this person saying that. Yeah. That's really fucked up when you put it in juxtaposition of gifting somebody something that they can't or can't have or is out of reach. That's really fucked up. I don't want. Like let's just say she genuinely does not want a marriage.

Why would you play off of that as a joke? Yeah. It's like someone has like terrified of dogs and you give them a dog. Well, you and I have a long running. Oh, the Pugs tradition where I get you Pugs and you get me butterflies. I'm not scared. I know, I know, but you are scared of butterflies. I am scared of butterflies, but it's okay.

It's it's more of, no, the objects themselves don't freak me out like as much as an actual butterfly does. It's it's you're not creating trauma, but it's different. Like we have a mute and the joke's only funny if both people are laughing. We both laugh and we're doing it to each other. And like we have a mutual understanding that it's a joke and we expect it at this point. Yeah. This is different.

This is very cool. They go on to say after that amazing brain chattering for me quote. I can see your future with this guy OP also think how heartless he'll be acting if you decide to have a break from him or God forbid a break up. Not the asshole, but please make sure you have a good support system and let them know if you want to make a big decision. Yeah, someone. Oh, someone else picks up on this too.

Leaves me wondering what he did to his ex-wife. Exactly. He sounds. Yeah, someone goes not mature enough at 18 and still not mature at 30. Yeah, he sounds like a bully. Yeah, they are really picking up a part the wife thing too. Considering the fact that he felt the need to reach out years later to apologize to his ex-wife about his behavior, it was probably pretty heinous.

Any hope OP had that he's grown out of the behaviors towards his ex has now been ground to pieces with diamond drill bits. Oof. Oof. Wow. Yeah, they killed it. Yeah. Well, I like this theme.

Yeah, that was an interesting theme. It was a tough one. That was a tough theme. It was a tough one. It's tough. Tough. Tough love, tough break, tough all around, but some quality stories. I just can't, I can't believe it.

That's rough. That last one just made me feel icky. Yeah. Because it would be like Justin, like I just think I can relate to this one. Personally, because like Justin and I have had conversations about like proposals and it would be like him like giving me a gift and like or doing something and getting down on one knee and faking it. And it's like, ah, but it's just fucked up.

It feels like emotional. Yeah. I'll use a little bit. Yeah. A little bit, but thank you guys for joining another amazing episode. Be sure you're subscribed. Every subscriber helps head over to Patreon for bonus content. And we have our THD unsupervised channel that has our Iceland travel vlog and is

going to continue to have kind of bonus behind the scenes content. That's really fun. Alejandra will be picking this week's charity. I gotta think about it. That's going to be a good one. I know the last one you picked was amazing. Yes. And I raised the bar, raised the bar was good.

And then I sent you one that I'm thinking about, but it'll be a good one. It'll be good. But I think that's all I have. We don't really have any other announcements. We're just kind of grinding on episodes lately. Just grinding away, you know, send us some themes. Yeah. If you have any themes you want to see, put them in the comments.

Go to the two hot takes subreddit. That's where we find write-ins. Yeah. I'm only pulling write-ins from there. Any other emails are getting deleted. Yep. I just, I had to, I had to get that one out. Yes.

Happy spring. Oh, yeah. Springtime. It's, it's warming up. The sun is setting later. The vibes are good. We're all going to be happy. You know, summer is right around the corner every one day.

Your birthday is going to be here before you know it. Happy days. We'll be here soon. Lauren's bday is going to be here soon. I know. Taylor Swift concert is going to be here soon. All of it. All of it.

All the good stuff. Have a good day, night, drive, cleaning session. Whatever you're doing. Sleep. Good night. Yes. Sweet dreams, but until next time, guys. Bye.

Bye. The thought of my son's growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking. I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays, and lighters. I started exercising instead of smoking. Staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key. I kept on trying, learned something each time. Do whatever it takes.

No matter how many times it takes. We did it. So can you. For free and calm. Incompetential help, call 1-800-QUIT-NAW or visit www.waytoquit.org developed by CDC. Finding your perfect home was hard, but thanks to Burrow, furnishing it has never been easier. Burrow is a new kind of furniture company, one that believes furniture and the furniture shopping process should fit seamlessly into your life.

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