Two Hot Takes - 12: It's The Entitlement For Me...

Episode Date: April 15, 2021

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host, Lauren! Episode includes blind reactions to Reddit stories about some people who are just a bit entitled... Stories include a women whose friend is mad she wouldn't donate her kidney, a girl whose friend is mad she "was abandoned in a foreign country", a lady whose bestie is mad at her she got pregnant before her wedding, a woman who wants to be buried with the family heirloom ring, a girl whose friends are mad she didn't pay for their expensive meals, and last.. a woman whose friend is mad she won't return a gift (that she didn't even buy).  Show your support (much appreciated): https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes

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The one thing about getting surgery last week, in my mouth, they gave me a laughing gas. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Wait, didn't even put you under? No. Oh my gosh. Yeah, and I've never had laughing gas before, and it didn't go very well.

Really? Yeah. What happened? I mean, I was just, I was totally fine. I told her I was very nervous. So she's like, have you ever tried laughing gas? No. Sounded great.

She's like, it's basically like if you were to have a couple glasses of wine. I was like, sign me up. And don't have to twist my arm on that one. Yeah, and it didn't happen. It was like, my entire body was relaxed, but I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. And so I'm looking around, and she's like, how's everything going? I was like, I don't like it. I felt immediately like I was drunk and high at the same time.

I was so dizzy. Wow. But anyway, full disclosure, that is why my mouth is puffy and sore. I have surgery and stitches in my mouth right now. So I, I might be less expression, a little more calm today. Is that a word? Expressionable? Yeah.

Okay. That sounds right. I might be a little more mute with my emotions. It's okay. Which unfortunately, maybe I should have saved this episode because some of these are very reactive. I think they're going to, but just, just pretend you have Botox and just smile and smile.

That's what I feel like I have insane Botox. I feel like one of those like real housewives, just, yeah, juiced up. Just like frozen. Stonewalled. I, I can't even imagine, but okay, well, we'll jump right in and I'll, I'll try to take it easy on you today. Thank you. Hi, welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes.

I'm your host, Morgan. And I'm Lauren. So today's episode is going to be on entitlement and it's the entitlement for me on all of these following stories. So am I the asshole to say no to giving my kidney? I feel like that's a pretty fair thing to not give. Yeah. I think you can say no to that.

Did I get this really wrong? Hi. I, 35 female, think I may have gotten this really wrong and broke up our friendship and I don't know how to make it better. Is this the weekend? Oh, it's Selena Gomez. Damn. I thought you were going to get that.

Sorry. I took me a second. And I just stared at you. I was like, oh, shit. This is not working. Dear in headlights. Oh, which, yeah, no, her, one of her friends, there's like a big, oh, I saw that. There's a lot of drama going on with Selena and the friend that gave her their kidney

because apparently they were really close. Selena Gomez went behind her back and asked the doctor if she was a match before the girl even found out and called her and granted this is all hearsay, but she called her and was like, Hey, you're a match. Like, will you please donate to me? Well, I read that the friend said that it was more assumptive, like we just found out that you're a match. I'm so happy.

Like, oh my God, this is amazing. And so the friend was just kind of like, she felt so pressured. Yeah. Yeah. I understand. But it's also kind of weird to me. Why did she come out? Are they not friends anymore?

No. Why did she come out and say this? Apparently Selena has kind of distanced herself from her and they're not like even close anymore. Damn. So now she's just like, fuck you. Basically, I got your kidney and I'm running. Yeah.

Which I love Selena. So it's like. No, I do too. It's so, I mean, we don't really know. No, I meant the friend saying fuck you to her because it's like, I understand that that's something that would be hard if you felt pressured into giving your kidney. That's kind of a crazy concept. Yeah.

However, that seems like something you'd have in personal conversations, not like, hey, where's the, where's the media? I need to discuss this. You know, that seems kind of hateful. I think she's been phased out by Selena is kind of why she's just bitter and is just like, yeah, I think she's mad. She's like, I gave you my kidney and now we're no longer friends, which similar story here. Let's hear it.

Last year, my best friend's husband needed a kidney transplant. My best friend was going to donate, but at the last minute was rejected due to medical reasons. So they asked me to donate. At that point, I was a single parent of three children and under one, five and seven year old. I was in a very new relationship. So couldn't rely on anyone to look after the kids while I was laid up.

Um, yeah. And also what happens if God forbid something happened and those three kids became orphans. Right. Kidney transplants, not some minor surgery. You're losing an organ. Right. I don't know. I don't think that anyone should ever pressure anyone into giving one of their organs.

However, I do, I do understand the concept where if it's your close friend and if it's life or death and you could be the source of their life, I understand how that would be like, Hey, help me out. I want to live. Um, that would make sense to me. But if it's, if she can find it from someone else, you know, like, I just, I guess I don't really understand how that works with, with kidneys, I mean, organ donation. Yeah.

Can you find it from other people easily? Like, is it life or death? I don't even know. Yeah. Both. So there's organ donation lists. So you have to, but with kidney specifically, is it pretty life or death in the moment? Or it can be.

Okay. Yeah. Kidneys, liver, heart. I mean, any organ, you know, we need to live. So liver, I think is kind of the easiest one to get because someone can donate a portion of their liver to you. So they don't need to like, like, you don't have to wait for someone that's, you know, passed or medically, um, passed.

And so I think kidney is also a little easier too, because you can live with one, but there's so many people that need kidney transplants and the wait list is all, you know, priority, how long you've been on it, how is your necessity. Right. So they recommend, you know, try to go through people you know first. Got it. So yeah, I mean, we don't, she doesn't really say what point he was at so far. So we don't know if it was like life or death in this moment, but at the end of the day,

like her friend shouldn't have pressured her. Yeah. It's really kind of strange. Is that, does she say more? Yeah. So she goes on to say, I did really give it some thought. I spoke to my new partner about it. I considered the children and my life circumstances.

It got really pressured while I was making my decision. Her asking what my decision was, details of pros and cons, word for word conversations with my partner, literally begging. The pressure also got too much for me and I realized I couldn't manage that pressure for the months while the test would be ongoing and the invasion of my life and privacy. I let her down 17 years of friendship and she hasn't talked to me since I said no. Her husband was given a kidney and is back to good health. I'm at a loss.

Was I an awful friend? No, cause her husband got the kidney. Yeah. Well, at the end of the day, like why does she feel entitled to her friend's kidney? Yeah. That's her body. Right. That's her choice, her life.

Yeah. The risk of donating organ, like what if she didn't respond well under surgery to, you know, generally anesthesia and left her three kids orphaned? Yeah. It's a big deal. It's not just like borrowing a pencil. No. If your friend wouldn't let you borrow a pair of shoes, yeah, that's a little, a little.

But that's fair too. I guess depending on the shoes. Yeah. But still it's like this is not a light situation. Right. Yeah. So I, but here's the thing. I think that if I were to be that woman and I was friends with someone for so long, felt

like they had my back and I was in a situation where I was so terrified that the love of my life was in severe danger. I can understand how she's just like kind of just let down and just need some time. I mean, if she never talks to her again, I think that's pretty shitty. Yeah. But I do understand just being like, I need some time because that was a really scary moment in my life. And I didn't feel like I had you on my side, even though I understand that, you know, there's

more to the situation, but it was, it was terrifying. I just need, I need some time. But like, I don't think, I think if the woman just decides not to be friends with her at all after that, that's not fair. I mean, it, everyone has a right to not give their organs away. Yeah. It's a basic right. Like we should not expect that out of anyone.

No. Um, I completely agree. I think the overall, however, would you give me yours? Yeah. If you needed it, you know, I'd, I'd say, can we see if there's other options? Cause I don't want to, I'm like scared, like to have surgery in general. This is why I haven't had my breast reduction yet because surgery and just like going and like going under like really, it's just, it freaks me out, but yeah, of course, like

you, Alhondra, Jordan, yeah, you guys would get kidneys if you, you know, if you really needed it. Yeah. And I would do the same too. Cause that's probably just where that other woman is coming from. However, I also don't think that it would be fair for me to ever expect you to give me your kidney or for, wait, yeah, yeah, or like vice versa. You know, I don't think that'd be fair to expect that that's just like a part of our

friendship. To give it. Yeah. No. But like, however, like, yeah, we would do that for each other. Yeah. But it wouldn't be like our, we wouldn't like love to. Like no one wants to just get on like surgery for no reason.

Exactly. Not for no reason, but unnecessarily. And I think the fact that she has kids too, I think that was really pulled up. Yeah. It's the kids. Cause at the end of the day, they're little, who's going to take care of them? This is a major surgery and she's going to have a big scar incision. She's going to need, you know, downtime to recover.

Who's going to take care of her three kids? Yeah. And yeah, kids play a big part too. I mean, my stepmom, whenever she had my three half siblings, I remember she said that she doesn't want to skydive because she wouldn't want to accidentally break her ankles, which isn't that likely, but, but it has happened before. Yeah. It usually happens when people are like skydiving on their own, you know, like that when they

sprain an ankle or something, but like the tandem, I don't, I wouldn't be worried about it. However, she's, she's on the mind set of thinking, if I break my ankles, I have three kids that are all really young. Yeah. That's just like, it's not worth it for me. Like my focus is. It's not worth it.

Yeah. At the end of the day. Yeah. This lady was really entitled. She was like, I'm going to lose a 17 year friendship over the fact that you are mad. Your friend wouldn't give up her kidney. She'll be back. Oh, and also I was just going to say it's not even her.

It's her husband. Yeah. You know, it's a difference. I mean, Hey, it's all in the details. Yeah. It matters. Yeah. What did the comments say?

What was like the overall? Overall vote was not the asshole top comment on this one. Absolutely not the asshole. It has literally no reason in the slightest to be mad at you. You had young children, depending on you, you wouldn't have had proper recovery time as a result, which could have caused complications. You didn't have enough support to ensure your children's safety and you would have been losing money by not working.

I'm a massive, massive organ donation advocate. It saved my dad's life and is the reason he will get to walk his daughters down the aisle. However, organ donation is not for everyone. People cannot pressure you to literally go through a major surgery to give your organ to someone else, especially when you consider all of the possible lifelong side effects for you. Yeah. So true.

Very true. They go on to say too, in this comment is that they might not have even approved her because of the fact she had young children and they don't like to put people in situations that they don't have enough support after surgery or, you know, so on. So she might not have even been approved anyways, which almost it's like you should have just kept going. Right. But anyways, if she would have then backed out, right, but on to the next one, am I the

asshole for leaving an acquaintance in a foreign country? This happened over the 2019, 2020 New Year. So pre-lockdown. I recently saw Sandra again, who yelled at me. So I'm having fresh doubts about whether I was right or not. Me, a friend of mine, Tessa and her acquaintance Sandra, all mid twenties took a two week backpacking trip to Ecuador over the New Year. Tessa left after the first week.

So the second week was just Sandra and me on the bus ride back to the city on our last day of the trip, Sandra started chatting with some random dude from South Africa. He invited both of us to a house party. He knew about that night. Our flight was five AM the next morning and I didn't feel comfortable going to some unknown person's house that close to our flight. I told Sandra that I wasn't going and that she shouldn't either, but she insisted. I told her that if she wasn't back when it was time to check out of the hotel and leave,

I wouldn't wait for her. She said, sure, whatever, I'll be back and took off with the guy after we checked into the hotel and dropped off a luggage. This literally reminds me of all of our trip to Germany and Czech Republic and like you would have a new boyfriend in each city. Okay, but it was innocent. You're acting like, you're acting like I, no, I wasn't. No, you just liked making friends and having boys fawn over you.

You literally, that was exactly it. Like I would just like make out with them and be like, do you love me? And like in their like broken English, like, yes, it was so cute. I was thinking about Lucas. He was adorable. Lucas was the best. He was so cute. I love it.

Okay. The next morning she wasn't at the hotel. Neither of us had local SIM cards. So I shot her a text and called via Wi-Fi, but no response. I wrote a note on the bedstand and left a message at the front desk for her. Told the staff there she might be back to check out and left for my flight home. Wow, she followed through on that one. She wasn't on the flight, but when I got back to the US, she had sent all sorts of

extremely angry messages to me and Tessa swearing me out for leaving her. Apparently her phone had died at the party and she wasn't able to get a ride back to the hotel. She had expected me to come pick her up. She did give me the address of the house party when we were at the hotel, but I never agreed to search for her or pick her up. And I told her I wouldn't wait for her. I never apologized for leaving because honestly, she is an adult who made her own

choices and she remains pissed at me because I left her in a foreign country. And she said, I could have been dead for all you know. Am I the asshole for leaving her and not taking a taxi to this party? She might have been to, to search for her. This situation is so frustrating because I understand it's kind of like one of those cardinal rules, like you're in a foreign country, you all watch out for each other, especially with, you know, sex trafficking as a woman. Exactly.

Yeah. So that, that's my concern. And, and I'm also thinking, did she seem like she was in her right mind when she was saying that she was going to this guy's place, you know, like, it sounds like they were sober. Yeah. So it's like, if she was sober, then it's like, she made that choice and she is an adult. So it's kind of like a sticky line because it's just like, it's like, yes, I

want to make sure you're safe and support you. But also like, you don't get to drag me through dirt and expect shit out of me. Like that's not fair to me. So like you, we need to have a mutual relationship where it's like, you are being mindful of me as well. If you want me to look out for you and you gave no fucks about me. So why should I miss my flight back home when I was doing everything I could to try to like get you on the same, like pages me.

Yeah. She tried to convince her not to go, like insisted she didn't go, but she still went. And it's the fact that she's so entitled. Like, I thought you would come look for me. Right. How would she even know? What country were they in, by the way? Ecuador.

Okay. So she makes a comment, um, also, she goes, I appreciate the helpful awards because I was extremely not helpful in the situation. Also, this happened at the capital city, Cuedo, Cuedo and Ecuador are a great place. I recommend going, but not staying with people you barely know and deaf ring someone who speaks Spanish. And I think that's the other thing too. Like, especially if it's a long trip, like this is two weeks.

It's a decent chunk of time. Don't travel with people. You're not really friends with. Oh, she's not close with her. It was a recent acquaintance. Oh, then fuck that. Yeah, it's rude. Yeah, that's so rude.

I mean, if you left me in a foreign country, I'd be pissed. But one, you'd never do that. Yeah. You'd be at the party with me or you wouldn't have gone. Yeah, we would, we would decide together. That's the difference is that like, I would go with you if like, I really wanted to go. Yeah. And like, but then I would go with you.

And if I wanted to go back, I'd be like, we need to go like, come with me. Yeah. I don't know. It's just, it's like, when you're an acquaintance, it's like, yeah, she's a fucking grown adult. And unless she seemed blacked out, like, yeah, she seemed like she was just not there, like drag her back home. Like that would be the best thing that you could do because that is fucking scary. Um, but if she was saying this sober or like seemed in her right mind, like that's on her.

It is. And I don't know. It's just, it's, it's crazy to me because every single time I go on a trip, like even if it's in the United States, my grandma will call me and she's like, Morgan, just remember that movie taken. Don't end up like that girl. And I'm like, okay, grandma, like I'm going to be fine. But in my mind, it's still something I always think about when I'm traveling as a

woman, like I don't want to get, get napped. Uh, I just remembered something your dad said, um, God, when he was dropping us off to go to Europe, he was like, all right, girls, don't do anything fucking stupid because I'm sure as hell not Liam, uh, Liam Neeson, Liam Neeson. He's like, you'll be fucked. I can so see him doing that. Like literally as we, he dropped us off at the airport and we were like, bye. I know.

And that was like, that was my first big trip out of the country. Yeah. I mean, I'd gone to Canada, but when you grew up in Minnesota, that's basically your, your backyard. That's pretty, pretty close. Curtis, like, uh, hockey player for the Kings. Well, he was, I remember when I first met him. He was like from Canada.

He said, Oh, you're from Minnesota in a very Canadian accent. But he's like, whenever I think about Minnesota, I just think of it as an extension of Canada, basically drew it out on a map for me. Sometimes I wish it was, I love Canada, not the asshole. She shouldn't have gone to that party at all. Female alone in a foreign country, going to a house of some guy she just met. And without even making sure her phone is fully charged, you did kind of leave her there without knowing if she's alive and well, but she didn't give you much

of a choice. Try and look for someone who might start yelling that you are ruining her night or miss a flight and spend a fortune on a new ticket. Situation is complicated, but Sandra did her best to make it complicated. That was the top comment. And OP goes, right? Shouldn't even give me a time. She expected to be back.

So should I have gone searching at midnight to 2 a.m. I don't speak Spanish and I don't know the city or that dude or the house. Honestly, I was worried I would get lost, mugged or miss my flight while searching, which is exactly why I didn't want her to go in the first place. Yeah, yeah, little, little, little entitlement there. Yeah, I'm, I think that girl's being ridiculous for being mad at her. It's like you should be mad at yourself. On to the next.

Got to walk the dogs, school drop off, meetings from 10 to 3, take kids to soccer practice, then there goes the extra time for a jog. That's okay. Maybe next week. When everyone else relies on you, it's easy to put your needs last. Therapy is a dedicated time to focus on what you need to be happy. So you can show up for yourself the way you do for others. BetterHelp offers convenient online therapy on your schedule.

It's the same professional service you'd get from an in-person therapist, but with the option to communicate when and how you want by chat, phone or video call, go to their site and fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Find more balance with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's better, H-E-L-P.com. Am I the asshole for getting pregnant despite being my friend's maid of honor?

What? She's mad that she's pregnant in her wedding? Let's find out. Okay. My friend is getting married in late July and has asked me to be her maid of honor right when she got engaged last August. I accepted enthusiastically and have organized stuff like dress shopping, bridal shower and bachelorette party.

We're nine bridesmaids in total. My husband and I had also been trying to get pregnant for close to a year. Well, it finally worked and we're expecting. The tricky thing is that my calculated due date is four days before the wedding. As soon as I knew, I let my friend know that I needed to step down from my role as maid of honor, but I'd be happy to still plan wedding related events or help her new maid of honor. But I most likely wouldn't be able to attend the actual wedding.

Well, my friend was pretty upset. And while she said that she accepted my decision and was happy for me, she wished I had just skipped this one month. Things have been really tense since I'm conflicted because I'm ecstatic about the baby. And at the same time, we could have taken a break for a month. It just didn't occur to me to use protection, to be honest. I didn't do the math.

Yeah. I think that's fair enough. Also fertility troubles is something that is becoming more talked about. And it is a very real thing. So it's like, if your body was ready at that one month, like, yeah, like, that's just your body. What if they would have waited and then she didn't get pregnant at all? Right.

And, and on top of it too, because like, I always think about this because the fact of the matter is it one second later, we're a different person. Yeah. Like the totally changes the sperm that gets up exactly. Like, and so it's just like so wild. You're completely different humans. So it's just like, at this point, she did get pregnant and that's the end of the story.

Like, yeah, maybe she made a joke about it. Like, oh, if you would have waited, like, like then you could have had both. Like if she made a joke, that's, that's totally no, she's actually mad about it. But being mad about it, it's like, no, she's pregnant. This baby is exactly who this baby is supposed to be. And this is, you know, if she would, once the baby comes and she thinks that her friend being mad that she would have waited, she, she's being mad. She's going to be like, you wished for a different baby.

Well, this is my baby. Like, fuck you. It's just the fact that it's like, if they've literally been trying to get pregnant for a year, that's a year. Like this is something to be so, so excited. I'm happy for your friend about like, again, fertility issues are a real struggle. And I'm glad, you know, people are more openly talking about it. And it's not as taboo anymore, but it's like, you have no right to be mad at your

friend. Yeah. Okay. You're, you know, you can make a joke because it's like, it's two huge life events colliding. So like, yeah, yeah, it's like, oh, you're a little bummed out because you want her to be the maid of honor. Exactly.

You want your friend to be standing next to you on your day. But like, but this is, this is bigger than that. In my opinion, like it's so much bigger. It is. Cause it, and so it's like weddings are super important, like who you have in your weddings important, but like bringing another life into this world, like that trumps everything. So it's, yeah, I mean, it's, it's a big, a big day for her and should not be held

against, yeah, and shouldn't be like tainted by your friend being like, she shouldn't feel shitty during her pregnancy because of, you know, her friend making her feel that way. It's just like, it wasn't on purpose. She wasn't trying to sabotage. Like she wasn't like, oh, I want to get out of this. So I'm going to get pregnant real quick. Cause I do not want to be a maid of honor.

No. And again, like she said, the math. Yeah. She didn't do the math. Like she, no, she's probably not like. Nine months from this date is like, you're not thinking about doing math when you're about to fuck. Yeah.

True. Um, unless you're big into Zodiacs and you want to make sure that there's certain sign, I do not want to Gemini. But hey, all Hondras Gemini. She's hashtag, not all Gemini's. She's a good one. Um, but I think the friend is again, a little entitled here to be like, why didn't you wait a month?

It's like, well, I didn't, and I'm pregnant and this baby is going to be my future. So shut up. What's a July baby? Uh, that's cancer. Oh, okay. Yeah. And well, depending on when, if it's late July, then it's Leo.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Justin's Leo. Yeah. Okay. They're not, they're not too bad. Maybe she'll be late. I mean, my brother's wife was pretty overdue too.

So maybe she'll still get to attend the wedding. Yeah. But, um, but Justin's a, an Aquarius moon. Oh God, it's over my head. Lauren, I need a book. I think it bounces out his Leonis. I have no idea what you're talking about. I need a zodiac book, please.

Spark notes for zodiacs. I know Pisces, mine were emotional. Yeah. That's creative. But you have a Sagittarius moon, which is why you're such a whipper snapper. Again. And you have a Gemini rising. Oh, scary.

I know. No, I'm kidding. I actually don't even know if you have a Gemini rising. I need to get a horoscope book anyway. Next one. I can kind of relate to, because I've talked about this before and I really, really appreciate heirloom jewelry and like things getting passed down. Like my mom has passed down some really, you know, beautiful jewelry pieces to me,

despite one of them breaking and me losing it at a Trader Joe's. I really appreciate heirloom pieces. So am I the asshole? If I want to keep the heirloom wedding ring and not pass it down, I adore the ring because my first husband gave it to me after getting it from his mother. He died of cancer four years after we got married. I later remarried after some time and I've been with my husband for a little under 20 years.

I don't wear it on my finger anymore. I have it next to my first husband's ashes. I never intended to give it up, but my first husband's mother, who gave him the ring, mentioned it to my son that he should propose one day with the wedding ring. It's been passed down three generations. I understand why it's important for traditional sake, but the ring means more to me now than following the tradition. My son didn't know about it being an heirloom ring and he has been dating a

man for six years now. He hasn't asked for it directly, but he did start asking what I would do with the ring. It only started after his grandmother told him. I told him I'm being buried with it and he seemed disappointed. Word got back to his grandmother and she is angry at me for the choice. She called me and berated me about it. Am I the asshole? I think you and I differ here because like, oh, is this about to get heated?

No, not heated. Um, cause for me, like that stuff doesn't tie to my heart strings as much. Yeah. Um, and I think that's why it's an easy, like rational solution for me to be like, well, it's tradition. It means a lot to the entire family to continue to pass this down and continue to have other people enjoy this. And like one day, a hundred years, a hundred years in the future, they're

going to be like, this was my great, great, you know, yeah. And so I don't know. I think it's important to keep the tradition going. Like, although you do have to be sensitive to the fact that someone is, you know, holds a person that they lost, like so cherished to their heart that like that this ring is a symbol of this person and it's like hard for them to let go. So it's like, it's kind of hard cause you want to be sensitive to that. However, to be buried with it, we're on the same page.

Oh, okay. I thought, cause you said that you like, I know you love like, you know, things that are passed down. So like, I didn't know if you would, which she's not doing. Oh, so, oh, okay. Yeah. So like to your point, you're going to get buried with it. Yeah.

It's going to die with you in that box. Yeah. No one is getting any enjoyment out of that ring. If it's in your, your casket, if it's, you know, gone with you. Did she say that it's her son who's wants to get married to another man? So he's gay. Correct. Yeah.

Do you think that has anything to do with why she doesn't want him to have it? I'm sure in her mind, she's like, it's not as important because he's married a man. But at the end of the day, you know, does she say anything? Like, is there anything that would, cause that would be really, really shitty. There's no comments from her. Okay. Cause I was just wondering, like maybe she thinks like, well, like if, if they're that traditional, I have no, you know, you know, if she's just like, well, the

tradition was man and wife, you know, something stupid like that. Yeah. If she's very conservative. Right. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I think she doesn't mention it, but the fact that, yeah, he's been dating a man for six years now, which at the end of the day, that doesn't matter.

Jewelry is jewelry. Like you could take that ring and put it on a necklace and have it with you all the time, just because it's a ring and it is maybe perceived as more feminine, doesn't mean that a man still couldn't wear it. Of course. Yeah. It's important to be passed down. Exactly.

And I'm very, I like very masculine things more so than like feminine things. So like, I have no problem shopping in the boys clothes section. I have no problem wearing boys jewelry or like things like that. So for me, I'm like, like the other day when I showed you guys all the stuff I was giving to Goodwill and there was some like random like guys shirt and Morgan's like, what are you doing? I can make things out of this. It's cute.

She's like, I can cut this up. It's going to be great. Yeah. I'm going to crop it. Yeah. Yeah. So I, I don't, I don't know. I don't see that being a big barrier.

I think her thing is she's being selfish and entitled to this ring because her husband that passed gave it to her. But at the end of the day, you could say the mom gave it to him. So yes, it was his to give, but it was given to him with the stipulation that it's tradition to pass it down and her not upholding that makes her the asshole. Right. I agree. What, what does everyone else saying?

So she got the vote of asshole. Okay. Top comment. You're the asshole. Literally getting buried with a family heirloom instead of continuing the tradition of passing it down does sound asshole-ish. Yeah. A family selfish.

Oh, entitlement. That's the whole episode. Yeah. The next, the next one, a family heirloom from her husband side of the family too. Just seems strange to want to be buried with a piece of jewelry instead of giving it to someone like her son, who I assume she cares about and who may also want something that ties to his father. Of course.

Yeah. And she doesn't respond to any of these. No. This one, I think you're going to like, Oh no, but it doesn't matter because he isn't dating a girl, obviously. She sounds homophobic too. The ring will just get stolen. She'd rather the ring be stolen than give it to her own flesh and blood, which

I've heard this, um, and which is why again, grave robbers and some again, crazy stories you hear here and there, like there's no fact to it, but you hear about these funeral homes that the family leaves and the caskets still above ground sometimes, except with, um, Jewish funerals, like all of the Jewish funerals I've been a part of the casket gets lowered down and the family and friends actually help put dirt over the casket to give it its blanket to like help things along, whatever it is. And so, you know, it's not always the case, but some of the other funerals I've

gone to the family, like you leave before your family member gets like actually put in the ground. And there's a thing that some of these funeral workers will open the casket and take jewelry before they lower it down. So shitty. So it's like at the end of the day, again, you're dead. Who cares what happens to the ring, which to the son could just disobey her wishes because he's going to be the one probably dealing with funeral arrangements.

Anyways, but don't put that on him. I honestly like hate the idea of being buried in a box in the ground. Like I feel like that's such a waste of our world. I can see you being turned into a coral reef or yeah, I didn't know you could do that. I was thinking like, cause I know you can be turned into a tree and I was like, I would do that. Or like, cause my first thought when I was little, like I've had this thought

ever since I was little, like I hate the idea of being buried in a box under the ground, like with things, with clothes, it's fucking weird to me. Like, I don't know why. Like I get that, like everyone else sees it as normal, but I'm like, we always talk about our world, like how we have little resources. We want to last forever. Like, why are we like taking up so much of land to like put these boxes that like don't deteriorate, you know, that's why I like Jewish funerals.

So Judaism have very strict rules about their funerals. You have to be buried in a certain amount of time. You can only be buried in a wooden box and it doesn't have screws or anything. It's held together by like wooden joints and you don't get buried in your clothes. You get wrapped in a shroud of like Egyptian cotton. So it's all deteriorated and you don't get embalmed. So there's no chemicals on your body. Okay.

So typically if you know, as well are held within three days to make it, you know, so you can have it that way. But yeah, it's more about giving your body back to the earth and, and doing good for the earth, but because there is a lot of things now. And my brother, like he's the one who brought up the fact that he wants to be buried like as, or like rebirth as a tree. But, um, but what I thought when I was little, I was like, oh, I want to get cremated and like thrown over like a cliff into like the water.

Like, I could see you doing the reef thing. Look into it. I think you'd like it. I just want to, I don't know. I want to get cremated and just like turned into a bunch of rings for my family. Just pass them out. Oh, that makes sense for you. I love that.

Yeah. Pass them out. Pass them down. There's everyone's heirloom. Oh, your ring is so beautiful. Yeah. It's actually my grandma, Morgan. We're weird.

So weird. Let me see what really makes the cut for the next one. Got to walk the dogs, school drop off, meetings from 10 to 3, take kids to soccer practice, then there goes the extra time for a jog. That's okay. Maybe next week. When everyone else relies on you, it's easy to put your needs last. Therapy is a dedicated time to focus on what you need to be happy.

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That's BetterHELP.com. Am I the asshole for not paying for my friend's dinner when I have the economic means? I, 22 female, recently got a book deal, which was a nice and hefty amount. I'm very excited and happy because I've worked on this book for years. Anyway, I shared the news with my friends and they all said we should go to dinner to celebrate and I agreed. She does parentheses and says my city has very minimal cases. So we go out and have a good time.

And then the check comes. One tells the waiter, quote, don't worry, she's got this about me paying. I was a bit taken aback because sure I would have paid, but because they all expected me to, I didn't want to anymore. They all got appetizers and desserts too. So it was a big bill. I ended up saying I'd only pay for my own and they all got mad at me and said I was being selfish and greedy.

The thing is they aren't poor or anything like that. Their parents pay their entire college education and they have jobs with no bills because they live with their parents. One lives in a $500,000 house. One was wearing a Burberry coat and the other had Louis V wallet. They spend all their money on luxury items, especially branded ones. This was partly the reason why I didn't think I even had to pay for their food. And they're still mad at me because I now have the quote, higher net worth, as they

called it, they think I'm being unfair and how I'm money hungry now because I didn't want to help them out during the dinner. They talked about all the trips we could take, but after they said, if I can't pay for a dinner, that'll be no fun to travel with. Wow. These are not your friends. No. These are horrible friends.

Yeah. Cause like for me, like I don't think, I mean, I have some friends that are pretty wealthy, like, I guess I don't really want to say all their names because that's kind of weird, but like I have some friends that are pretty wealthy. And even when I've been out to eat with them, I never expect that they're going to pay, I hope. Fingers crossed. Yeah.

But like it's not their responsibility. It's not their duty. Like you're not entitled to a free meal from them because they have more money. I'm not entitled to any of that. Like just be what? Like that doesn't make any sense. Like you owe me nothing. Like you did all that hard work.

I didn't do it. Like that's, that's, it's on you to decide how you want to spend your money, you know, also not the reason your friends with them. Exactly. So I just, I, that is like mind blowing to me because it's just like too, I can't imagine like expecting someone maybe as a joke, like I could see myself saying as a joke, if someone got some like huge deal or something like that, like being like, Oh, you got this, right?

And like maybe as a joke, but like, I can't like to double down and be mad and say you're not going to be fun to travel with them. Like that's manipulation. It's fucked up. And, and, and this woman, what do you mean? It's not like she's asking them to pay for her. You know, it's not like she's like, I can't afford this. Like, you know what I mean?

Like, what do you mean? She's not going to be fun to travel with. She's still going to pay her way. She's not going to leech off of anyone. So I'm at the end of the day. That just makes it seem like you're using her. Like she's not your friend at all. Exactly.

And she worked her ass off to write this book. She's 22 and just landed a book deal. I didn't even, I missed that she's 22. 22. She's young and just spent years working on this book, landed a book deal, which great. Yeah. But all of these friends had their college paid for.

They don't pay rent. They have nice jobs. Yeah. And so little assholes. Exactly. And pricks. I think it's one thing. Like, I, I don't know.

When someone has a big accomplishment, one, you don't assume they're going to pay for something like this in this situation. But two, if someone has a big accomplishment or something happy happens, a birthday, whatever it is, you typically all split their bill. Like they should have all split her bill as a way of like, congratulations. I don't know. Right. She goes on to say, I'm planning on helping my mom with the mortgage now.

And then says, I live with my boyfriend, but I want to help her out. Pay off my student loans and use the money back into my book as well. But they don't care about that. So am I the asshole for not paying for dinner? Even though I have the economic means to do so. Was I wrong to not pay for it? Should I have paid? No, absolutely not.

No. And I think that's the thing too. Like her mom sounds like she's in a different situation than the rest of their parents and you do want to help your parents. They've gotten you to this, you know, this point in your life. It's like, if I won the lottery, the first thing I would do it would be buy my mom and dad nice places. Like, yeah.

Well, money makes people so stupid. And so that makes their judgment and thoughts just so clouded in every way. It's just a lot of money, I should say. Yeah, large amounts. Yeah. So I've always thought if I ever won the lottery or any type of lottery of some sort, I wouldn't tell anyone. I wouldn't either.

Because I would just be like, you guys are all fucking fiends now. And like, don't look at me differently. Don't expect other things out of me. I'm going to do whatever I want. Like, if I want to donate, I don't know, $20,000 to XYZ charity and then give you nothing, then I'm going to do that. Like, you know, like don't expect other things out of me because of the money that I just gained.

You know, it's just not okay. Yeah, I don't think I would tell anyone if I won the lottery. I would put it in a trust fund, start a charity, help the world. And then like, I'd give people that have really been like important in my life and have been there through everything, like a couple of million. It depends on the amount, but I'm so fucking far-fetched and not ever going to happen. But yeah, no, I mean, I take care of the people that I have taken care of me.

See, I would, I would take care of people and give them money. However, I wouldn't want them to know how much money I have and expect, you know, a certain amount of money from me. I think the lottery winnings is public information. I don't think they have to tell you who it is, though. Oh, really? They just can, they can say someone won and where they're from. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I think for safety reasons, they're not like allowed to. True. But people always find out because on that show, the lottery winner show, they talk about how they get random like letters all the time. But people are creepy. But I think people like to tell when they want it.

You know what I mean? Like it's hard to keep it like your aesthetic, your mind is blown. Like it's hard to like keep that a secret. Very true. But yeah, what's your verdict? That her friends are assholes and they get new friends. They're, they're pricks. Like they seem like the worst of the worst in gossip girl.

Oh, like the biggest pricks in gossip girl. That seems like that's them. Yeah. No, I would, I would be finding new friends because they don't seem like they're really your friends for the right reason. Yeah, not at all. And maybe this is just like one lapse in judgment and maybe, you know, maybe it was one person that got the rest in an uprise.

But I would be on high alert going forward. Absolutely. Last one. Okay. Am I the asshole for not returning my bridesmaid's gift after the wedding was canceled? Hello everyone. I'm a 27 year old female.

My friend Jessica, 28 female, was supposed to get married over the summer. She asked me and a few of our other friends to be her bridesmaids by giving us gift boxes with things for the bachelorette party, which is going to be a long weekend in Mexico. Three of us are nurses, two are teachers. We're all vaccinated. The box had sunglasses, a bathing suit, shoes, some jewelry, a water bottle and a tote bag in it.

They were really nice. Well, Jessica's fiance got a call from her boyfriend and the wedding was called off. Did the friends know about the boyfriend? First of all, we're going to find out. Okay. Neither one of them knew about each other. We were all just as blindsided as he was. We had no idea.

And this was true. Oh my God. Jessica recently contacted me to tell me that since the trip isn't happening, she wants the bridesmaids gift back. I guess some of the girls hadn't taken any of their stuff out of them, so they just gave them back, but I took the stuff out. I used the tote bag and the sunglasses already. And after I tried on the bathing suit, I cut the tags off.

When I told Jessica that I had assumed this stuff was a gift, so I'd already used some of it. She got really mad and said that I should have saved it for the trip and that I had to reimburse her for the price of all of the stuff. What a tacky bitch. That is so tacky. Yes. When you give a gift to someone, there's no takebacks.

You don't get to dictate what they do with it. Like there's rules to gift giving. And she violated them. Yeah. Tacky ass bitch. I was going to do it just to get her off my back. But then I found out when I was hanging out with her ex one day, that she wasn't the one who bought the things in the boxes.

He was. Wow. So why did she even want it back? Also, why was she hanging out with the ex though? I know that is very curious, but they're probably in the same friend group. A big friend group. Yeah. And maybe honestly, if she's single, he's single now.

Never know. If it's love, it's love. Oh God. I'm on a romantic vibe today. I'm on a romance vibe. So I asked him if he wanted me to reimburse him and he said, no, that it's just a drop in the bucket of all the money he's down from the wedding and an extra $275 won't really make a difference.

Yeah. Holy shit on the gift basket, by the way, 275. Yeah. Wow. Sorry. I, if I do win the lottery, you know, you're, you're a maid of honor. Bridesmaids box will be very nice, but it won't be 275 unless I win some magical money.

Yeah. Right. I'm not really worried about losing my friendship with Jessica. I think what she did to her fiance says a lot about her character, but I know her and the maid of honor, her sister, are talking a lot of shit in the group chat that I'm quote, stealing from Jessica. Am I the asshole? First of all, you're not stealing.

Yeah. It was a gift. What a dumb bitch. I hate this girl. She sucks. She's horrible. This is entitlement. Yeah.

This Reddit story should be under the definition. I feel like I can already like picture her. I don't like, I don't know. She's a narcissist at this, at this point in time. It's like, you had a full on boyfriend and a fiance about to walk down the aisle. And not only did you lie to your fiance, the boyfriend didn't know. No way. Neither one of them knew about each other.

What the boyfriend didn't even know. So what are you going to do? If you went on with this wedding and you're married, what are you going to tell your boyfriend and the friends didn't know? Like, none of the friends, like she's just a liar and a bad person. Like she's talking shit cause she's trying to like, I don't know. Redeem herself in some way. Or like push blame on someone else for all of her faults.

Exactly. Which is why it's like, she's a little narcissist. Like this isn't her fault. Yeah. And she didn't even buy it at the end of the day. Yeah. It wasn't even purchased with her money. Right.

So, so wack. So stupid. Top comment. Not the asshole. I would tell them you aren't stealing from Jessica. It was a gift from the guy she cheated on. Yes. Hell yeah.

Yeah. Wait, this was in the group chat that she's still a part of. Yeah. That's what I would say too. Like, fuck you. I would be like, um, talk to blah, blah, blah. He's the one that paid for these and he does not care if I keep it. Yeah.

Sorry. Jessica. What a bitch. Like who has the nerve? Who has the nerve? Like, I'm sorry. Once you give someone a gift, you don't ask for it back. Like, no, just the fact too.

Like, I mean, I'm sure all of these bridesmaids paid for their bridesmaids dresser. Yeah. Of course. They spent money. They spent stuff too. The trip is booked. They spent money on this trip. So weddings are so expensive to be a part of.

They are. And at this point in time, wouldn't you be so embarrassed about what you did? That's why she's so embarrassed that she's trying to like talk shit. Like there's people that are like that, probably narcissists that like, they're so embarrassed about what they did. They're trying to like push blame and like put the attention on someone else. They're like, yeah, look at this person. They're an asshole.

She's trying to turn the spotlight. Yeah. This person's like awful. Oh my gosh. Um, so crazy, but it's actually, it's funny. Cause I was talking to one of my friends today about, um, she, uh, it was a, a bachelor party, bachelor at party that got canceled because of COVID. And so Airbnb is kind of like tough, whatever luck.

Yeah. So basically she, she lost $300. And so now like that the, it's going to be rescheduled. It's going to be in a place that's going to be more expensive. Like the hotels are very expensive. The flight's expensive. She has to fly for the wedding, like the dress, like everything. It would be like, end up being like a couple of grand.

When she's already like lost 300. So she doesn't want to go, but she feels so bad because she's like, I don't, like I would want to be there. I just don't want to spend that much money. Like, and she was basically like asking, like, is that bad to not go? No. And I'm like, no, I don't think so. You already lost $300.

Like, and I think it's really, really crazy to, and I've seen a lot of posts about this and it's one thing to, you know, have your bridesmaids pay for their dresses and the bachelor party, bachelorette party, if it's affordable. But one of these posts I saw where it was like, your, your bridesmaids should be spending like $500 on everything tops. If your bridesmaids are spending thousands of dollars for you to get married, that's a problem. Yeah.

You shouldn't expect people to spend any money for you. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like it's just one of those things where it's like that in itself is a form of entitlement. You shouldn't expect people to want to pay thousands of dollars for your wedding. Yeah. And I, and I think that like, at the end of the day, like with this situation specifically, it's, if the girl who's throwing the bachelorette party,

if she wants to do exactly what she wants to do and it's going to be expensive and that's just it, like that's, that's great. It's her wedding, her bachelorette party. She should do whatever she wants, but if she comes back and she's mad at someone else for not wanting to spend that much money, that's where the problem is. And so like, and that's why I was saying to my friend, I don't think that she should be mad because it's like, how can you be mad at someone for not wanting to like break their bank?

You know, exactly. And I think just it's, it's a tough conversation to have. It's awkward. You don't want to say, no, you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. And you want to be there. It's just like you want to, you want to be rational and reasonable with your money. And at the end of the day, if it's not within your means, you shouldn't break your bank for something that's kind of unnecessary like that.

Right. Like the important part is being at the wedding is having a nice dress at the wedding, showing up on their special day. Like, like you can party anytime, you know, exactly. Get drunk, go to a different city anytime. Like, I know it's special, but at the same time, you just can't really expect that out of people, you know, or like right now when, yeah, the past year has been tough, has been really difficult on, you know, everyone and everyone's been

really affected by it. So then to expect that from someone, it's, it's very distasteful. Yeah. What's it's like you lack awareness. Out of touch. It's very out of touch. I like lack awareness, but it's just off. But yeah, that's, um, that's the entitlement episode.

Yeah. I think that girl, I'm mad at that girl. She's a bitch. Don't, don't cheat on your fiance. If you want to have, if you want to have your cake and eat it too, don't get married, have an open relationship. This reminds me so much of, I don't know if I don't want to say names cause I don't, I don't know.

It's probably not a big deal if we did, but I don't want to. So like one of our friends, how her boyfriend went to a wedding and he went to a wedding of one of his friends who married a girl. This guy happens to be extremely rich, like taking private jets places type rich. And so you're, you're looking like you don't know the story. I don't know if I do. That's crazy.

Um, but maybe, maybe it'll ring a bell like, okay, or maybe you were busy studying in occupational therapy school and you missed the story. I could have missed out on this one. But so basically he was seeing a girl. He had a girlfriend on the side that he met. Yeah. Now you remember. Alejandra told the story in the last episode.

Oh, she, oh, she did. Oh, okay. So we can say names. Okay. So cause I was, she didn't say his name, right, but I was just going to say Alejandra instead. I said our friends. So, um, I guess we can skip that as she told it.

She probably told it better. No, but I mean, it's, it's, it's crazy. Like people, I don't understand the point of getting married. If you want to have your cake, you need it too. And I think in today's times, I think there are people out there that are not down for monogamous relationship and want to have an open relationship or but then communicate that. Cause otherwise you're just being a bad person.

Yeah. Communicate that there are people out there that do believe in those same type of values as you, you know, so find that person versus putting someone through the heartbreak of an affair and cheating and just don't fuck with people. At the end of the day, don't be entitled assholes. It's like at the end, at the end of the day, you can do like your relationship can be whatever you make it, just be honest about it, you know, and then we'll be all happy.

We all just love it and trust. It's so trust is everything. It's everything, but that's the entitlement episode. Yeah. These people were whack. Yeah. The only one that really pissed me off was the last one. Yeah.

That girl's a bitch, such a bitch, but we hope you guys enjoyed this episode and enjoyed all of our episodes. Um, we just want to say thank you so much to everyone leaving reviews. We read them all and I'm very sensitive. I know it's so fucking funny because it's like out of all of our friends, me and Morgan are probably the most sensitive. We're, we're the two people that should not be putting themselves out on a public platform.

No, we like read the reviews and for strangers, for strangers to like, well, the reviews are good. No, most of them are very, very nice. Um, but no, it's funny. Like the fact that the two most sensitive friends of the group, what did we do to ourselves, putting themselves out there to get criticized by people they don't know is just iconic and ironic. I don't even know what to call it, but anyway, it's something.

Yeah. And it's so funny cause I was just, I just sent Morgan today, um, someone who gave us a review and, um, we've mentioned her cause she is a four star and she went back and gave us a five. Yes. Um, love you. Thank you for continuing to listen. Yeah.

We're, you know, we're new at this. We're not podcasters. We're real people with just normal lives and who sounds stupid. Sometimes I sounded in one of the episodes. I'm still so embarrassed. I, it was too tipsy and I just sounded like a dumb bitch and I, I bring it up to my boyfriend. He's like, well, at least you've learned your lesson.

One glass of wine, only one and done, but thank you so much for the reviews. We would really appreciate it. If you guys are enjoying the podcast, uh, please continue to leave them. And, but if you hate it, please don't give us a review. Oh, don't like our little hearts, we truly, we read every review and we do appreciate them and take them into consideration. We appreciate you guys and cannot wait to continue this journey with you all because we're like 10, 11 episodes in and we're absolutely loving it and can't

wait to see where it goes. Thanks. And, um, until next time, until next time, bye. Bye. Hmm. Is that promotion just out of reach? Are you looking to change careers? Then take the next step at the University of Northern Colorado.

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