Two Hot Takes - 125: Could've Been Me?!

Episode Date: July 27, 2023

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Deison Afualo of Two Idiot Girls!! This episode features stories that have us questioning if we easily could've been in this situation ourselves.. Or maybe there's no chance this could've been us?! What are your thoughts? Could you see yourself in any of these stories?..  Checkout Deison on Two Idiot Girls: https://www.youtube.com/@twoidiotgirls !! Our PO Box!! Two Hot Takes. 5042 Wilshire BLVD. #470. Los Angeles, CA 90036 Bonus Content on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Our SubReddit to Submit YOUR Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes Partners: Skims: SKIMS.com & be sure to checkout the cotton collection!  Vegamour: Vegamour.com/tht  Promo Code: tht AG1: drinkAG1.com/TWOHOTTAKES

Are you ready? I'm scared because I did watch the coconut one and I didn't like that. No! A lot of people are going to be like, yes, thank you, thank you Morgan, don't ever read the coconut story again. Well guess what guys, I'm here to say we're reading it a third time today. Just kidding. Well, no, I'm not doing that to Dyson over there. But hi guys, welcome back to another episode.

Two hot takes, I'm your host Morgan and we have Dyson. Hi guys, I'm so excited. Have you back? Me too. I love being here. I love that you love being here. I am like really trying to get back to more like relatable down to earth, air quotes down to earth stories, where it's like they're so plausible, it could have been me.

Like it could have been me in that situation. I feel that. Or there's some where you might be like, that could have been me. Yeah. So that's the theme. That's your whole show. So that's good. I love that.

Yeah. It's just like, oh, some of them, I'm like, damn like damn no I actually like this could have easily been me Yeah, so I'm excited to see if you feel that some of them are relatable and like you're kind of like I could see myself doing that Yeah, okay easily so Any other updates for people before we jump in house two idiot girls going? It's good. We went on tour earlier this year Is really fun trying to to think. We're starting to book out more guest episodes. We don't want to get in earlier this year, which is really fun.

That was, oh my god, I loved that episode. It came out so cute. You guys have amazing listener items. Oh, thank you. Like you really have an amazing community and your listener items are juicy. Yeah, that's a lot. I mean, we get a lot, and we don't read all of them, because there's obviously too many. There's so many. There's a lot of trauma dumping in there. Yeah, that's hard. I love you, but I don't know that I want to read that

to everyone. Yeah, it's a tough, tough gig. It can weigh on you too, which is hard, but I just saw your video from this week where you guys were talking about Shrek. Shrek is sexy, and I'm tired of people saying anything otherwise. Yeah.

So I posted a poll on my Instagram story and I was like, would you rather get with ogre shrek or human track? Majority did say human. I see that. Yeah. But did you see how many said ogre? There was a lot. A lot of them.

And I was saying he's six five because I was just thinking of like the tallest like normal person I can think of. Did you look at how tall he was between seven and eight feet tall? Can you believe that? Shrek's crazy. Yeah, it says on here, Shrek's height sits somewhere between seven and eight feet. So he has to be a little over three hundred pounds, but look how fast he is. He's swift.

So I'm going to be a sister talking about how would he do in the NFL combine? I think he'd be first round pick at least. Easily. Yeah, easily. Oh my God. Wow, I feel just, I didn't realize he was so tall. Me either. Someone, I saw someone say he's like four donkey's tall,

what does that mean? What does that mean? Be serious. Oh, well, they did the math where they're like, they cropped donkey and put them like staff. What does that mean? They're not real, I need to know. Have you seen those TikToks where someone's like, let's figure out how tall someone is based on the door knob. Crop donkey and put on like stack. What does it mean? They're not real. I need to know.

Have you seen those TikToks where someone's like, let's figure out how tall someone is based on the door knob. And then they like, they're like, oh, or like, they're 7-11 cup. The average 7-11 cup is 7 inches tall. So based on that 7-11 cup, they're holding this person is 6-2. I have seen that, but I think we're going to talk about how

like people will walk around and do like street interviews. Yeah. And they'll be like, how tall are you? They're always asking men. Oh, I love men always lie. Yeah. And then they ask if they can check. They say no.

I told me sister, I noticed the street, they only say no if it's women asking. So with like a girl doing the interview, they always say no. But if a guy's doing it, they'll be like, yeah. So I watched one and actually had someone that went to school with my brother in it, which maybe laugh. Because I was like, what the heck is he doing in here?

But there was a guy in there, he said he was six three, they measured him five nine. Those are two different things. Don't six inches. I even think if you're... That's half a foot different. That's like,

I'm five four, that would be like me saying, I'm six one. There's no way. Be serious. Five, nine, six, three. How do these people not think they're gonna get caught?

I don't know. And then I'm looking at the person interviewing them, he can't be six feet tall. He's probably five, ten, when, 3. How do these people not think they're gonna get caught? I don't know. And then I'm looking at the person interviewing them all. He can't be six feet tall. He's probably 5'10 when I'm looking at him. Yeah. So when they're shorter than him and they're like, that guy's like, oh yeah, I'm probably like 6'3." And he goes, 6'3.

He goes, yeah, because you might not be checking. He goes, I guess. What do you mean you guess? He pulls out the tape measure. Oh my God. That's crazy. Did I tell you I measured Justin when I first- Seven dated him?

I don't know. Yeah, so. Because how do you I measured Justin when I first started dating him? No. Yeah, so. Cause how do I see like five, eight, five, nine? He's five, eleven. And I, I'm awful at guessing heights. So that's a lot of dig on Justin and I swear. No, I, and I didn't believe him. Cause I'm like, why are you not?

No, my, my ex was six, four. So I'm like, I'm used to like, looking up. Cause you're like what, five, three, five, two, five, two. So he was like a full foot and couple inches taller than me. Okay. So when I did Justin, I was like, what, five, three? Five, two. So he was like a full foot and couplet and just taller than me. So when I did it, Justin, I was like, okay, well, you're obviously shorter. Like, I was thinking five, nine.

Like, there's no way you're five, eleven. So I gave him so much shit and he's like, measure me. Measure me. I'm sure enough I measured him and he was five, eleven. We're like, I'm gonna write you in this time. Yeah, you didn't lie. I'm a green flag, I guess. I guess.

I know, because I'm five 5'4 and everyone in my family is really tall. So I always think like, oh my gosh, that guy had to have been like 6'4 and Drew's like, he is 6'2", I'm like, how am I to know? Everyone's tall to me. It's everyone. You're always looking up.

I think realize you were so short. Yeah, I'm only 5'4 and then Drew's 6'4, my brother's 6'4. You give tall girl energy though. Oh, thanks. People don't think Drew's tall, which I think is weird, because I think she gives very tall woman energy.

Honestly, yes, but I didn't realize how tall. Sure. I think I was expecting like five seven. Yeah. Five eight. I know she's taller than me, like everyone is, but I wasn't, no. Not six feet.

Oh, people were like, wow, that's- You give the same height energy. Oh, nice. Yeah. I've never gotten that before, I'll take that. Yeah, no. Not six feet. Oh, people were like, wow, that's... You give the same height energy. Oh, nice. Yeah. I've never gotten that before, I'll take that. Yeah, no, for sure. It's definitely like just, you convey it. It's there.

Okay, well, let's get into these stories. Let's dive in. Okay, how bad do we want to go from the get go? Let's just really dive into it. Okay. Okay. So this one is titled, Am I the asshole for not telling my wife, there's a possibility her best friend's daughter is mine. About seven years ago, my wife's best friend and her husband split and it looked like they were headed for divorce around the same time my wife, then girlfriend, and I split. I think it is worth pointing out that my wife was the one who called it quits.

When we split, we were officially broken up. This was not just a break. I did not see any chance for us and figured our relationship was done. So, when my wife's best friend showed interest, I decided to sleep with her. We were never serious. It was purely physical. This went on for a few months, and then she broke things off with me because she and her husband had decided

to give things another shot. It was not long after they reconciled that she announced they were expecting. She never reached out to me to confirm either way if it could be mine. So I assumed it was her husband's. I didn't know she had been sleeping with him while we were together, but I suspected that there were some other guys she was also sleeping with based on some of her behaviors. About

a year after this all happened, my wife and I started seeing each other again. We dated for a while and then decided to get married. I never told my wife about my relationship with her best friend because we were broken up at the time and I wanted to have a clean start. Everything was fine until her best friend and her husband started having problems a year ago. They have been going through a nasty divorce. At some point, her husband decided he wanted a paternity test and discovered that his daughter is not biologically his. The best friend then admitted she was mostly sure it was mine. The husband then contacted my wife and told her what her friend had said. Since then I've been dealing with the fallout. My wife thinks I was an asshole for not mentioning what happened

between us, but I never had any reason to suspect it could be my daughter until now. I don't think it would have made sense to tell her about something that I thought was a low probability. It seems crazy to me to hold this against me when I never suspected anything. Am I the asshole for not telling her when I honestly did not believe the child was mine? I think so. I think you are because why would you sleep with her best friend, even if you're not together. That would be like if you and Justin broke up and then like he hooked up with like literally any of your friends That's so weird. Why would you do that? You don't shit where you eat

Yeah, even if like you didn't think you were gonna get back together. I still think it's so weird to do that You don't know any other girls just my best friend. I also What the fuck is wrong with her? Yeah. Did you like secretly want your best friend's boyfriend the entire time? Yeah. Are you insecure and you wanna like have sex with her ex

to feel like you're just as hot? Yeah. Like what is going on in her head? I would never do that to one of my friends, but I know girls that have. Yeah. And like I literally look at them and I don't look at them the same. Like, my friend Alejandra, who you know, like one of her besties started dating an

ex-boyfriend of hers. And it's like, for what? Yeah. There's so many other guys out there. And ones that haven't slept with your friend and you kind of do question, like, what is your motive there? Like, are you insecure? Are you looking for some sort of validation? But I don't know why he didn't even question it because my head immediately would be like, that kid's

mine. Yeah, I think it's weird that they both went through breakups at the same time too. Coincidentally, that seems odd too. Oh, sure. Do you know what I mean? Sure. Yeah, I don't know. I think to sleep with your best friend

and then get back with your ex, that's weird. It's really strange. Like I don't know how you went to her. I did do this one thing, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't count. I didn't really like her. I just wanted whatever. We were actually broken up.

We weren't on a break. Yeah, it's not like Ross. But it's just purely physical. Would that be any worse if it was just emotional? I don't know. You know what's interesting though? How people say it's purely physical? I don't understand that because I can look at someone and be like, they are objectively so attractive to me. But when they open their mouth, if they say stupid shit, I could never get past the stupid shit. Like, it gives me the ick.

So it doesn't matter how hot I think they are. Like, if they're dumb, I can't have sex with them. So it's like, I feel like it can never be purely physical. Like, well, maybe there's people that have hate sex. Yeah. I don't know. I feel like there has to be some sort of like a track, like a connection. Minor, minor, at least.

A little one that you're attracted to or something. That's outside of how they physically look. Do you know what I mean? Unless they just wanted to have someone have sex with I don't know. Yeah. But then it makes me think there's literally a billion other people you could have did it with. So that aren't her best friend.

This easily could have been me. Oh. Easily. So like my ex before Justin has, oh my god, I almost said his name. I've never done that. Um, I met him through like one of my at the time like best girlfriends. And she was always like,

yeah, me and, wha, quack, quack noise. She's like me and him are so close. Like we're so close. I hate that. And then I would ask him, and I'm like, are you and,

like are you guys actually close? Like am I stepping on toes here by like even going on dates with you and he goes, I don't know what she's talking about. Like I borrowed her my car once. Like, like picnisha. Yeah. And so I found out that we went on spring break

once and she had like messaged him and been like Morgan cheated on you in Florida I watched her what the heck never happened yeah it was a lie but I feel like she was trying to like get with him yeah obviously like get on his good side and be like that yeah and I honestly feel like they definitely had sex and then like both of them just just weren't telling me. Really? I could see it. I could see me being this person.

Dang. Easily. It's so, like, look at him. He's like, I didn't think I had any reason to tell her. You're getting married. Don't you think she should know that her best friend's like a little, well, you're scummy, but. Yeah.

Like her best. The two of you were not good people. Yeah. Even like when they first got back together, like I would have more respect for it, if he had been honest and been like, we were hooking up, but like I don't like her like that, I just whatever, but I'm sorry and it won't happen ever again.

But not knowing it's not your kid, like I could see that, like sure, like if she started dating her ex, like immediately after you just stopped hooking up, I could see him being like, oh, I didn't know that. But if he had been honest at the start, maybe you wouldn't get a little less uncomfortable. But I do think it's weird that her boyfriend had an inkling that he wasn't like enough to be like,

let's get a paternity test. Do you know what I mean? So she must be doing other shit around him where he probably didn't think it was him, but he was like, maybe it's another guy. Yeah, I don't know. I wonder who the kid looks like though. If that's why the husband got suspicious too,

where he's like, my daughter's not, my daughter shouldn't look like me. I wonder what provoked the paternity test. Sure. The top comments on this one, you're the asshole. It's not unreasonable to think it would be best to disclose this to your wife once you got back together.

You also said you had no reason to suspect the child was yours, which I find laughable. I'm a paranoid person. That would be my first thought. I was. Yeah. First thought. Mm-hmm. Easily. The next comment, I didn't use a condom, but I'm pretty sure there's no possibility she could have gotten pregnant for me. Oh my God. So if your baby's me, then I forgot. Someone goes the next comment down. The OP's edit changes everything though, not the asshole. So let's read the edit.

Edit, just to note that we did agree when we got back together that we weren't going to discuss who we slept with. I think that this is a crucial detail that I left out, and I have never asked her either. I know, but it's her best friend. I feel like, it's just like anyone. Yeah. It's almost like who initiated that suggestion? Sure. The best friend or him? Yeah. Or like the girlfriend and him when they got back together. Sure. Now wife. Yeah. Was it like, hey babe, I don't think we should talk about who we slept. Yeah.

Oh, I fucked your friend. Yeah. Like who suggested that? He said we, it was probably him, huh? Exactly, that's my thought. This was posted three years ago, there's no updates. I wanna know if it's his kids so bad. It would have to be you, I think.

Well, what if she was like cooking up? Yeah. She's living her life, I don to know if it's his kids so bad. It would have to be you, I think. Well, what if she was like cooking up, yeah. She's living her life, I don't know. I'm looking, there are a couple comments from him. Someone just goes like, at the very least, you need to pay child support. And he responds back, I believe the husband still is going to be her father. I doubt that they will want anything from me,

like any involvement from me. Yeah, if her husband has been there since the beginning of the baby's birth, he's just as much of the, I don't think DNA indicates who's the dad or who's not. Yeah. Well, and someone goes, wow, wait a take, absolutely no responsibility for your own contraceptive choices,

any responsibility for your sexual health. You know, STDs are a thing, right? And Opie goes, she told me we were safe. I did use condoms sometimes. Okay. Well, maybe one of those times, he didn't. I guess he doesn't know if he's the dad either, because he never got the test like you're saying.

Yeah. Yeah, there's no mention of a paternity test results. Oh, it was her idea that they don't talk about people they slept with. Oh. So, it was her idea that they don't talk about people they slept with. Oh, so I guess. I mean, I would still want to know, but you know, teach their own. Yeah, maybe she slept with her best friend's ex-boyfriend. Can you? Yeah, maybe. Oh my God. What if these two are just like frenemies? Yeah. The two girls. The two girls. My godfons. I don't know.

You never know. Yeah. Never know. Okay, moving along. Trigger warning you guys, this next one does contain talks of miscarriage. Okay, so this next one is titled, Am I the asshole for calling the C word to my future sister-in-law after she tried to gain sympathy with my miscarriage. I'm sorry if this seems all over the place, I'm just so mad that everyone is siding with

her. My future sister-in-law Ella, 30, is your typical annoying bubbly girl. She is always happy and smiling, quote, carrying and compassionate. My brother, 37 male, is foolishly in love with her, and it seems like the rest of my family is wrapped around her finger. My brother and I, 34 female, grew up very close. When we were 10 and 7 years old, our father passed away, and our mother, 69 female, struggled as a single mother until she met our stepfather, 65 male,

who is truly an amazing person. They had our little brother, 28 male, who happens to be Ella's best friend, and the reason she met our older brother. 28 days ago, my husband, Mark, 34 male, and I, tragically lost our pregnancy at 22 weeks. It was devastating then, and it still is. I haven't been ready to talk to my therapist about it yet. This was our first pregnancy that progressed this far, so we were filled with hope. Since the loss, I made it clear that I didn't want to talk to anyone and that I didn't want any visits. However, Ella keeps sending deliveries of food every now and then, with stupid ass messages like, quote,

you are cared for and, quote, we're here for you. Thinking of you, it infuriates me to hear Mark commenting on how nice and thoughtful she is. Last night, she asked me if she could come over with my mom and my brothers to quickly discuss something about their wedding. She apologized saying she knew it wasn't the right time, but the wedding is only a month away, and this conversation couldn't be delayed any longer.

In essence, Ella wanted to postpone the wedding for another six months. It is a small affair, hosted at a friend's place, and since she briefly explained the situation, the vendors are willing to change the date at a minimal cost. To paraphrase her, she said, quote, I don't feel like this is the best time to have a wedding. I really want you at my wedding party and I suspect you won't want to be around people asking you what happened as if she knows what I want or don't want. Of course, everyone started going off about how this is such a great idea and how sweet that was of her moving a special date for her just to accommodate me. What made me snap was what she said next.

Quote, whenever you feel up to it, we could have a girl's day and get you a new dress. Mine was pink, made specifically to fit my growing bump. I screamed at her that she was a cunt for looking for sympathy at my expense and that I hoped my brother and everyone else could see her for the conniving and manipulative piece of work she was. That the only girl's time I wanted to have

is with my beloved girl that isn't with us anymore. All of them were stunned and she ran out crying. My brother told me to seek therapy and my mom and little brother just left. This morning my husband told me that while he understood and shares my grievance, I shouldn't lash out on innocent people that she only wanted to help. So, Reddit, am I the asshole? I mean, I wouldn't say she's you're an asshole because you're going through a lot. I can't even imagine what it feels like to lose a child like that.

Are you being mean maybe a little bit? I don't feel like this is strong on to anything wrong. Honestly, it sounds like she has the most genuine intentions. Yeah. I mean, for her to move her wedding, that's a lot. That's no easy thing. You know how long it takes to plan a wedding. And her saying, it's her to move her wedding. That's a lot. That's no easy thing How long it takes to plan a wedding and her saying it's gonna be small anyways. I know when I'm moving it Because I love you and I want you to be there Also like it's like oh while she's moving her wedding to get attention

girly the best way to get attention would be to have the wedding Yeah, well, I don't know that attention is worth like having to pay more money to move the wedding. Like, yeah, it's her wedding day. She's going to get attention either way. Like, she is the bride. It is her day. There's a lot happening here in terms of like mental health, the suffering, grief, suffering a big loss.

But like, it just seems like this person hasn't ever liked her sister in law. Yeah, that's what I think too. And she's really projecting all of this other stuff onto her. And like, there's people in this world where I've even met some where I can be really pessimistic sometimes. And I'm like, you almost like look for an excuse. To not like that.

To not like that. And I feel like that's kind of what she's doing. It's kind of sad. Yeah. Maybe she's really close to her brother and her relationship with him has changed because of his new, why for soon to be why for something. I bet you that's the case.

Or maybe she, I feel like when you go through the five stages of grief, maybe she's in the anger phase right now. So maybe too, she's like, that like her sister-in-law is getting to celebrate something really exciting and new, and she isn't celebrating anything. She's going through something really tough.

But I feel like her sister-in-law's doing a really great job at making sure it's done in a way that accommodates her, which she doesn't have to do. She's the bride, she could literally be like, she could be an asshole and be like, were you having the wedding and if you don't come in, would be mad at you? Yeah, I don't care that you lost your baby.

That's not what she's saying. Do you know what I mean? Well, and there has been stories like that I've seen where it's like, okay, it's three months after your miscarriage. Like I feel like you should be over it by now. Yeah, there's stories like that. But I think you're spot on the money,

especially with the what you said about them being really close. Because she does say in the post, my brother and I grew up very close. And there's only a three-year age gap between them. So I bet that is they were besties, and then another person came in, which the other side of the coin of this is Ella,

the sister-in-law is best friends with her younger brother. So not only was she best friends with the younger brother, she was just marrying the older brother. Yeah. So it's like this girl is probably like, God, you took everything of mine. And now you're trying to make my loss yours. And like, blah, blah, blah.

And it's like, it's not that deep. Like, I could see this. Like I could see myself being like negative and just being like, just leave me the fuck alone. But at the same time, I could see could see like no this couldn't be me. Like I would like someone sending me food deliveries girl. I like always stupid messages. But those I'm saying she's in a phase of her grief right now where like she doesn't want

to experience things like that. And I mean how can you blame her like go through a lot like that. I especially with her saying like this is the furthest we've gone and we were so excited. So yeah. I feel like when you're in states like that, like, it doesn't matter what you're doing, like, I'm gonna be pissed off. Especially with someone who's so positive in trying to help when you don't feel good,

that doesn't help you very. Yeah, well, it's tough because I think, like, she went about it too in the most respectful way. Yeah. Like, it was very clear, here's my boundary, I don't want people coming over. And it was like, okay, well, I'm going to respect your boundary, but I just want to make sure you're taking care of.

So I'm sending you food because I know in this terrible time, the last thing you want to do is cook and do anything. Like, you don't even think about eating when you're in the stage of it. No. So, we do have some comments from OP. A lot of people were flipped on this one. There was a lot of not-the-ass holes. There was a lot of year-the-ass holes.

So people really went back and forth. Someone goes, not the asshole. I've lost a baby as well. No one who hasn't been through it can understand. There are no words to convey my sympathy. You made a clear request to be left alone. She violated that request over and over again. Your family sees the nice gestures,

and she probably sincerely meant them to be nice and helpful. But what none of them understand is what actually being incredibly disrespectful to your grieving process. Those notes look nice, but when you've stated you want no contact, they're actually incredibly rude and inconsiderate. So that's an interesting take. Yeah. I Guess like maybe it's kind of annoying like salt in the wound. Yeah, I already told you to leave me alone. Yeah I don't want anyone like truly just leave me alone. Yeah, I don't know that I call you the seaword if I was that man. Yeah

And so you're being annoying and it's pissing me off. Yeah, so O.P. Respond to goes exactly why doesn't she understand she lost a pregnancy earlier this year she should have understood right She acted as if nothing happened a few weeks later of the incident she was again being her usual self. I'm so mad at everyone later of the incident, she was again being her usual self. I'm so mad at everyone. So this girl lost a baby as well. Yeah. Like she does understand what you're going through because she's fucking been there. Yeah. Well, and everyone navigates it differently. So maybe, yeah, maybe bubbly, whatever she was calling her. Maybe she likes to be around people and likes when people help her. So she thought people would like the same thing. But O. P. doesn't know. I don't know. There's another comment, like info, what is Ella done to you in the past that caused you

to believe she's looking for sympathy at your expense. And she goes, nothing personal. She is just kind of an extrovert that wants you to feel welcome and always worrying if you need anything or help or whatever. And everyone is how sweet, how caring, blah, blah, blah. So I think she just hate, like I just think she doesn't like her. Yeah. And when you don't like people, you're gonna look for anything to just like more evidence.

Yeah. Did you see the way she looked at me when she walked in? Or you don't even mean me. Yeah, no, I have done that with people like someone once like walked in and they're like, they're like, can you get me a nice tea? And it was like some random place and I'm like, I'm your friend, I don't work here. Yeah, oh, I'm not working today. Sorry, I don't work here. I was like, okay, the entitlement. So I get that. Like, it's so goofy. The top comment on this is, she literally did almost everything

as correctly possible in a situation like this. You're the asshole. Sorry for your loss, but that's not how you treat people. Every day we hear stories on Reddit about in-laws who overstep boundaries or don't consider others. She wasn't doing any of the usual negative stuff. I mean, yeah, I could say that, but that's what I'm saying, but everyone receives things differently. Do you know what I mean? So, it's her, it feels like that, but she already

doesn't like her clearly. So, clearly, yeah. We do have a comment from the brother. He found the post. That's crazy. Oh, yeah, she put her real name in there. The wife's name in there. I wonder if she did. Well, did she put the sister and the name in there? She did, but sometimes people give fake names. Oh, okay.

Okay. So I believe everything I read on the internet, so I'm glad you told me that. Oh my God, he made his username, Victim of evil sister. Dude, isn't she a middle child? Yeah. No, that's you know they get the least of my

attention or whatever. I'm the middle child. But I'm the same as her. I have an older brother and a younger brother. Oh, okay. And like I feel like I'm the favorite because I'm the only girl. Oh. But like that's different in every family.

Every family is different in every family. Well, I don't think I'm the favorite personally. I the only girl. But like that's different in every family. Family's different. Well, I don't think I'm the favorite personally. I think it's my little brother. But if you ask my brothers, they'll say it's me. Yeah. But you're the oldest. So you would say too, it's my little brother. He gets the easiest one.

He's the little baby. Yeah. So he goes, hey, I'm the big brother. Jesus Christ, Rachel, the next time you want to try to make yourself the victim, like you always do, do it on a site that I don't use almost every day. You can thank Ella for being the only reason I've even kept a relationship with you, because she has been that

tolerant of your garbage. You've made it no secret that you hate her. But hey, smart of you to try and leave out how she's black and you called her more than the C word. But I think letting everyone know the actual words you called her would not be allowed whatsoever on this sub. I just got the fucking chills. Crazy. But I'll verify for everyone here, you're a bully, a racist, and an asshole, and you always have been. And, way to mention Ella's miscarriage, but not mention your own response to it, which was an eye roll and a smirk, and then make an off-handed comment about how Ella should

have been more careful, because you thought her working out of the house was bad for the baby. That's crazy. You know what's bad for a baby a garbage person like you. Oh my god. Delete my number delete mom's number delete Ella's number go rot. Holy shit you guys. I didn't know there was a comment from the brother. That's crazy. I didn't know there was a comment from the brother. That's crazy. Oh! Oh, I was gonna say too,

because I don't like, I don't ever like to comment on women because I think women are screw nights every single day for literally existing for sure. But it almost felt like she doesn't feel good about herself and she hates that Ella does. Like she's jealous of her. Do you know what I mean? As a person outside of her brothers.

So she's like, she always babbling. She thinks she's better than everyone. I'm like, because she's nice. I don't know. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Well, and I wonder, like, now knowing the context of her being black, there is so much stigma

around black women that like, like, they're more aggressive. They're mean. And it's like, okay, so she's not what you, like, the people stereotypically associate with. She's bubbly and happy. And like, and if you're racist, then it, like, the people stereotypes typically associate with, she's bubbly and happy and like, and if you're racist, then it's like, that is even more like, I'm nailing a chalkboard for you. Yeah. Because she's not what you would expect from a black woman. Yeah. And even then, if she did act like stereotypical, it would be even worse her, yeah, her understanding of who Ella

is. Exactly. Yeah. It's, Ella is like, damn if she does and damn if she doesn't. This is a catch 22. Like there's nothing Ella can say or do or just your wise. And like knowing that Ella went through her own miscarriage and literally OP smirked and then made comments that, oh, it's your fault. You should have been more careful. Sure.

Even statistically speaking, like black women in general are not believed when it comes to health, especially when they're pregnant. Like they suffer the most miscarriages or deaths by birth or things like that. Like so for her to already like experience a miscarriage and still be so positive for her through her, her sister, like when she just experienced her own like because their pain has

never believed that's crazy. This is something I'm like super passionate about and it's actually something like when I get a little bit more time I want to really create like an advocacy program around this. Women of color are 240% more likely to die in childbirth. Yeah. Like and you have celebrities like Beyonce and Serena Williams that almost died because of childbirth complications, and they weren't believed. And then you have it up until recent years in certain textbooks,

I believe it was a nursing textbook, but it could be wrong, because it's been a minute. There were textbooks that said black people, especially black women, don't feel pain. Yeah. The same as white women. And then I just saw something fucking crazy that women's pain is like not believed at all.

You don't get like topical anesthesia when you get NiuD. They can offer it. They can easily offer it. They can give you a shot of lidocaine in your cervix so you don't feel it. But guess what? It's just a pinch. Yeah, right. You're sticking the tool and clamping the cervix. It's not just a pinch.

You're popping it into tissue and they demonstrate it on an orange. It's not cool, you guys. Sorry for anyone that's getting how you de-place soon. Ask for lidocaine. Find a provider that will do leadocaine. But people, women aren't believed, and then there was a story that just came out that there was a nurse that, for a certain procedure, I think it was egg harvesting at an IVF clinic,

but they were switching out the fentanyl in the IV for saline. So these people were undergoing a procedure without any sort of pain control. That's crazy. That person brought in hell. Yeah. Take all her lessons as a way. For what?

Yeah. Oh, so bad. So I just can't believe like miscarriages are not anyone's fault and to imply otherwise. Well, it's like leave that out. Like that's like, miscarriages are not anyone's fault and to imply otherwise. Well, it's like leave that out. That's like, I mean, obviously she's trying to victimize herself like her brother was saying.

Yeah. He's on a website, he used daily, damn. Yeah. Yeah, knowing this full story, this could not have been me now. I am not this person. No. No way.

I'm like stunned after the comment from the brother. Yeah. I like literally my brain just like broke after that. I'm like stunned after the comment from the brother. Yeah, I like literally my brain just like broke after that I'm like damn Like way to tell to like I know there's always multiple sides Okay, moving along One of this week's partners is skims you guys know I was the biggest holdout when it came to try and skims and I'm so so glad

I finally gave into the hype and tried it. Every single item I've tried from skims I've fallen in love with, especially the cotton collection. And it makes sense because skims is creating the next generation of loungewear for everybody. And this cotton collection is magical. As you'll see in this episode, I was wearing a skims t-shirt and I love the fit and feel. It's made from ultra soft natural fibers and this cotton collection features elevated lounge pieces designed for comfort indoors and outside. This is a shirt that I could wear day to night, I could wear with a pair of leather pants to go out or with a pair of sweats as I'm just chilling.

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select podcast in the survey, and select our show in the drop down menu that follows. Thank you. OK, so this one is three months old. It's coming from true off my chest. It is titled, My Friends Had Sex While I Was Sleeping In The Same Bed. I can't talk with anybody about this, so I guess I'm just trying to rant here on Reddit about this.

This happened two days ago, so it's still fresh, and I don't know how to process this. I'm just going to use some random names, because I don't ever want them to find out I wrote this. My best friend, Alex, and another good friend Paul were on call around 5pm on Easter Monday. They were planning for a trip to the Netherlands in the summer where we're going to visit a good online friend together. I was pretty hyperactive and full of adrenaline that day so I decided to go on a walk while still being on the call. After a while we spontaneously decided to have a sleepover at Pals. So I packed my things and arrived at like 6pm.

We were having fun the rest of the evening. We played cards, listened to music, and talked a lot. At around 12pm, we decided to go to bed. We were sleeping in one bed. You must know my friends are very cuddly. I would have joined the cuddling, but I can't sleep without my free space, essentially, because it was hot, sweaty, and skunky in this room. No wonder considering we were three people on a warm spring day in a pretty tiny room.

So, not long after we all went quiet, I felt how the mattress was moving in a pretty regular rhythm. For the picture, I was lying on the wallside, Alex in the middle, and Paul at the edge of the bed. I was already suspicious, but at first I just ignored it and didn't think much of it. But after a while, Alex started heavy breathing. My virgin ass started panicking. In the evening, before we were talking about our sleeping habits, I told them purposefully how I'm not tired at all, and how I will have trouble falling to sleep that night.

I did know before the sleepover that Alex and Paul are sleeping with each other, but I didn't think they were gonna do it when I am laying next to them. I mean, I joked about a threesome before. But I always make it clear that it stays a joke because I will never hook up with close friends. Anyways, they continue doing that next to me.

I heard every move loud and clear because I was two centimeters away from them. I didn't know what to do because I felt uncomfortable as fuck and I didn't want to just go, quote, hey, can you please stop? I'm awake. So I pretended to wake up from a bad dream. I cried and shivered in panic, props to my acting skills. And my friends stopped immediately to check on me. That was cute of them though. What? No, it's not. They asked what was wrong and acted all innocent and they didn't just almost nut next to me. Paul probably felt bad and decided to sleep on his gaming chair while Alex and me slept on his bed.

Alex gave me a sleeping pill since I told them I couldn't sleep. We talked a little and at like 2.30 we went quiet again, like half an hour passed by and while I was waiting for the sleeping pill to kick in, Paul got into bed again. Like half an hour passed by, and while I was waiting for the sleeping pill to kick in, Paul got into bed again. After a while, they started doing it again. What the heck? They might get mad. At this point, I just accepted my fate.

I stole the blanket and tried to sleep. The sleeping pill made me nauseous and thirsty as fuck. Alex and Paul did it through the night all over again, and my perception of time was so distorted. I can't tell if I even slept for one minute. In the morning, the act had all innocent and wished me a good morning. I asked me how I slept and all that. We had breakfast together, acting like nothing happened.

Alex needed to head out quickly, because they had a school-related meetup. I didn't want to stay any longer and pissed off right after Alex did. What the? No, no. Are they all, did they say they're gender? No, genders are mentioned. I'll pick up the comments. Yeah, no pronouns, nothing.

And it doesn't look like there's comments elaborating on it as well. And like kind of Alex is like, it's such a... Like, it can be for anyone, yeah. Oh my God, why am I blinking on that word? Because Morgan's the same way. It can be for like any sex. It's like unisex?

Or not unisex? What is that word? Gender neutral? Yes, that's the word. Okay, use that. Because unisex is not inclusive, sorry. A gender neutral and drodgenous or non-gender name is a name that isn't specific to child's gender

or sex assigned out birth. Yeah, so I want very gender neutral names for all my kids. So Alex is one of those, it could go either way. So it's like, Paul, you would maybe assume this person doesn't mention their name, so you have no idea, it could be three guys, it could be two girls, and I got have no idea. Like, it could be three guys, it could be two girls, and I got like you no idea.

So yeah, nothing mentioned. I guess it doesn't matter, because that's nasty. I don't care what you identify as don't do that while I'm in there. I literally would flip out. Yeah. I would flip out. I get that like, because whoever the OPs of like my virgin

asked, I understand that I feel like the first time time I saw someone smoke weed in front of me, I went home and I cried. I didn't grow up going to like parties and stuff like that. Yeah, in high school. So I was like my first week of college. I also went to college and I went to the University of Oregon, which is pretty much like OE capital. So like, I didn't know that going there.

Like it's all hippies, I didn't know that. And so my friends were like, yeah, go get your bum from upstairs. And I was like, boom. And she came down nozzle. I couldn't look at it. And I called my mom. I was like, they were doing drugs in front of me. And then she was like, it's, I mean, kids are going to do that.

And then your mom is so chill. I know. She's like, you're going to be okay. And then I remember one time I was with all my friends. And they were like, we're doing Molly tonight. Who's doing it? And they were like counting. And then I was like, no, I'm good. And then I went home time I was with all my friends and they were like we're doing Molly tonight Who's doing it? And they were like counting and then I was like no, I'm good And then I went home and I googled what's Molly Yeah, so I get me like I'm a virgin. I'll tell me that's all I know what they're doing next to me

That's so gross. I would have been mad though like I would have stabbed him But he's being serious, but then I don't know because when you're that nervous Then like you're that friend that just kind of goes along with everything. Yeah. Like that would be me. I can relate to that. Like something like that would happen to me.

But I would be like, I would like sit up really fast and scare them and then be like, can you? I don't know what I would have done. I honestly would have been like, you guys can't. I would have just been like, you gotta be kidding me. If you're not serious right now, you're not serious right now, there's no way.

Like you better just be dry humpaint over your clothes. And even then, can you go in the bathroom and do that? Like, why do I have to lay here? It's kind of like, do you ever watch like Love Island? I really want to get into it. Okay, also you my favorite seasons. But I want to watch the Molly May one, because I heard that one. That's the best one.

I heard that one's elite. That one, and then I think there's one right before that, where they're in Spain or something. But I have to look up. Anyways, that's crazy because they're all sleeping in the same room and they have to be miked. And so like, even when they're laying down, they don't have the mics on, but there's mics above them.

So sometimes they'll like, they'll fuck like while other people are like, they're all sleeping. And like there's couples like every season, there's going to be at least one couple that doesn't care. So that's what I haven't watched the US version, but I can't British people don't care. Let me show you a few people from here. They don't care. So that's what I haven't watched the US version, but I can't British people don't care. Let me show you a picture. They don't care. So they'll be like, no, that's what we did. Or they'll go in the bathroom and you hear everything. It's crazy. What experiences have you had? Oh, no, I'm talking about the violent. Oh, not me. I was like, damn, Jason, what are you walking into, girl? No. And then I mean, if they ever did a queer season, I can't even imagine what would happen.

Queer people are crazy. Oh my God, that'd be really fun. I'm waiting for a queer season of the bachelor, or bachelor at. Yeah, I think bachelor at would be so good. I know, I think so too. Did you see the bachelor, the golden one? It's a guy he's like 73.

His wife died and he's ready to find love again. How cute. It's literally gonna be the best season I think. I love this. This is what I want. This is the content I want. This is what I'm asking for. All people finding love.

We should put your dad on there. I literally, if he breaks up with his girlfriend, they've been together like a year and a half, two years. Oh, okay. But, hey. He's got crazy stories that guy. I put him in that. He would flourish on a show like that.

I think so. He would crush it. Yeah. This story though, is something that kind of happened to my friend Alejandra. Oh. So we went to Mexico for my friend Lauren's birthday. Like recently.

A couple weeks ago. And Alejandra and our other friend, Chil, who you guys have not met yet, you will meet Chill very soon. She was sharing a room. And there was like another guy friend, Lauren's boyfriend's best friend, that was on the trip. He was sharing a room with Lauren and her boyfriend. So both of them like didn't have rooms. Chill and the friend wanted to hook up. So chill and them like didn't have rooms. Chill and the friend wanted to hook up. Sure. So chill and Alejandra weren't sharing a bed, but I mean it's a foot apart. And so chill

brings them back and Alejandra's you know, sleep in in the bed and they have sex. Alejandra didn't wake up. Oh, okay. But like you could tell the next morning when like it kind of came out like yeah we fucked next to you Alejandra. She was like what? Like why would you do that? How did you tell me that? Just keep it a secret guys keep it a secret. I don't know

I'm like you can go in the bathroom go in the bathroom The bathrooms were really nice and like the shower had like a big bench, so you could have had actual good shower sex versus... Is there a leg up there? Yeah, because sometimes, or sit and you get on straddling, but shower sex usually isn't good, because it's just so hard to maneuver, and you're like, you put your leg on the wall, do you crouch in the shower, lay on the tub,

what does that look like? It's hard, it's not. I personally don't find it enjoyable. But like they had a good setup. So it's like I would pick a corner. There's plenty of room in there to do so. For straight people sex, gay people sex, we could have sex everywhere,

but straight people sex. There are lots of ways you could have done it in there. There's so many ways to, I was gonna, I don't like this saying. So I was gonna be like, there's a lot of ways to skin a cat gonna, I don't like this saying. So I was gonna be like, there's a lot of ways to skin a cat. But I don't like that saying. So we need to find one that replaces that.

Like what can you skin? That's, I don't know. I had, we need a new one for that expression. But you guys get it. But yeah, I don't like this. Top comment, what the fuck did I just read? Your friends are gross as hell, dude. That is just way, way, way, way overstepping boundaries.

Why didn't they go fuck in any other room of the house? I don't know, dude, that seems really weird. I don't think I would even be able to get a horny if one of my homies was sleeping in a bed with me and my girl, and if we did, we'd leave the room like normal person, sounds like they got off to the fact that you were right there and that you were asleep. Therefore you could not consent. Super disrespectful.

If they're willing to do this, then they might take it further. Stay safe, Opie. Yeah. I mean, for them to do it twice too, that's like, he came back in the bed. I know. Yeah, this definitely feels like a kink. Now that it's been like, is that what it's called voyeuristic or voyeurism?

Were you a sex and public? Or is that just sex and public? I'm not sure. I don't know what it's called when you like people, like the idea of like something caught, like turns you on. I feel like that's voyeurism. Okay.

So maybe that's what it is. I don't know. I feel like they knew that O.P. was awake too. I mean, it sounds like they literally all laid down, and like five minutes later just went for it. It doesn't sound like there was like a delay in this whole. No. That's wait an hour.

And then like, it's not like they were like, Hey, hey, Ashley, are you asleep? Okay, she's asleep. Let's do it. I'm imagining too, like, because they said Alex was in the middle where they stray people sex like laying facing. Oh, oh my God. Can you imagine if they said that the lineup was like that?

Yeah. What can you imagine if they were like facing that person? That's what I thought. And then so it's like they're looking. It's like you're fucking me, but I'm looking at someone so sleeping. Yeah. I don't know. No. I think I'm a consent though. so sleeping. Yeah, I don't know. No, I think you know consent though.

Sorry. I didn't think about that. You know, sometimes like, like how like gross men will do stuff, like touch themselves in public because they like how it makes people uncomfortable. Yeah. Not to say that's what they're doing, but that's what it kind of reminds me of. Yeah. Yeah. Which like you're not asking for consent for people to watch you do stupid shit like

that. I don't like this one anymore. I don't like it. We should't like this one anymore. I don't like it. We should do the coconut one then. Okay. I'm just kidding. People are screaming, no! No, like I said, I am being very,

very nice to everyone. I had a story, I had my mom come on, a Patreon, full length episode. I don't think people understand. The coconut story is actually child's play compared to what I read with my mom and my brother. Oh, sure, okay. Like, there's a story,

it's a really famous Reddit story about a Jolly Rancher. And- I feel like you told me this. It is probably one of the worst stories I've ever read. Like, truly, and I don't usually gag. Like, I can read the worst of the worst and I don't gag. Like, I can read the worst of the worst. And I don't gag. Like, I gagged reading this story.

I truly was like, wow, I kind of understand what people feel when they're like, I can't handle it. I threw up, I had to turn it off. Because like, I was like, damn, yeah, this is bad. Yeah. It's by far the worst. There's Jolly Rancher, and then there's a story about a Dorito.

And what's with the food? What's going on there? It's by far the worst. There's Jolly Rancher and then there's a story about a Dorito and What's with the the food what's going on there? It's always the food stories and there is always men The Dorito. Whoa. No both involved women in some regard Yeah, because I know the coconut one it involves yeah, man. Yeah, I'll tell you the spark notes of the Jolly Rancher story and Then I'm not going to share it on the pod, so no one worry what you're going to get next is Desyn's reaction to hearing it. Okay.

Which might encourage you some of you to go to Patreon. Yeah. Oh my God. Why does it? That's pretty gross. My eyes are watering. What does that mean? Straight people are so gross.

Yeah, it was a really bad one. Dorito is, in my opinion, worse. So head over to Patreon. Enjoy. That was crazy. What's your mom think? Oh, go to the Patreon. You'll see.

Yeah, no, no. Her reaction was unreal though. Okay, moving along. Another one of this week's partners is Vegemore. I'm really focused on my health this year, but my hair and scalp has been a big priority of mine. I feel like it's thinning lately, and as I wash it, I notice lots of clumps coming out, and that's just something I want to tackle and get ahead of now. And that's exactly where Vegemore comes in. With Vegemore, I'm able to have visibly thicker, fuller, shinier, longer hair, all without

using harsh ingredients. Vagamore's products are 100% cruelty free and never formulated with potentially harmful chemicals like parabens or hormones. I've been using the grow serum religiously and noticed a huge difference in the length, and the grow serum is clinically tested. And in their studies, they found that up to 76% noticed less shedding. Another product they sent me that I'm loving

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For a limited time, two hot takes listeners get 20% off their first order by going to vegaMor.com slash THT and use code THT at checkout. That's vegem.org slash THT code THT to save 20% on your first order vegem.org.com slash THT code THD. This next one is quite interesting. It is somewhat recent, nine days old. It was posted in our slash marriage, which is not a subreddit I've been on before, but it is a place for sharing the better or for worse of marriage. It's titled, Is it Strange My Wife is Going Out to Fratt Slash Sorority Parties? I'm 38 years old and my wife is 35 years old. We live in a small college town, Starkville, Mississippi, Go Bulldogs. We both met in college. In the same area we live currently, we got married and have a five year old.

Anyways, I trust my wife, but I feel like she's going through a midlife crisis. She doesn't go out every single weekend of frat parties, but last month, she went out two times to a frat party and she goes to the local bars, slash clubs around here sometimes by herself or with her friends and she comes home drunk like very hammered some nights to the point where I have to help her get into bed.

She takes a cab or sometimes I have to pick her up. Since the year started she has been to five flat parties and she goes to the bars slash clubs a lot more. She also goes to college planned events slash concerts that are off campus like Bulldog Bash, a bunch of drunk college kids at a street concert. I talked to my wife about this and she said she's just trying to have fun. Her sister also made a comment about her behavior because my wife and I are close with her sister and she was just over to our house one day getting ready with my wife and I for our with her sister. And she was just over to our house one day, getting ready with my wife, and I for our daughter's birthday dinner last week. Her sister said, quote,

she's just living her best life. Don't worry about it. I think we had a bars and clubs like Who Care Is? I guess it depends though, because if it's college, but like ones that like college students frequent, I guess it's different. She's 35. Yeah. The frappart college students frequent, I guess that's different. She's 35.

Yeah. The frapparties and student let events, that's weird. You have no business being at a frat house as a 35 year old unless, I mean, no, no, no person outside of college, I think belongs in Fratz after they graduate. Unless you're a parent coming back for like homecoming and a alumni. Parents weekend or an alumni. Parents weekend. Like get your ass out of those frat houses.

Especially because there's a lot of underage kids there, which I think is weird. There's a lot of underage drinking in those houses because it is a safe spot for minors to drink. Like at my school, police could not step foot on frat pop like property. They weren't allowed to. So that's why you didn't go to the bars, you would go to frat. What is she going there for?

I'm concerned, this is a little creepy. It is creepy. That's what I'm saying. Like it's very young, it's weird. It's very creepy. Yeah. No business. No.

At all. And getting trash too, that's the crazy, yeah. I feel like she's cheating. Probably. I don't know why. I just get this spidey sense tingle of no reason to go there, has a good intention behind it. Those aren't your friends, they're

not on your wavelength. They are literally, if she's 35, the oldest. It's like 22, 23 maybe. Yeah, if they're like a fifth year, 23. Yeah. But otherwise it's like 22, 21, 20, 18, 18. Yeah. Like you have no business being there. That's a freshman year, like 17 sometimes too. That's a 17 year age gap. Yeah, that's too much. That is way too much. That's weird. Student events too.

I don't know, like even me, I'm going to be 30 this year, I would never go to a student bar. I feel too old. No, unless you're like going back with like a planned group of your friends from college. Yeah. And you're like, hey, you guys, we're going back for like a planned group of your friends from college. Yeah, and you're like Hey, you guys we're going back for this like alumni weekend or something. Yeah, homecoming This is so funny that I have this story right now. I'm actually doing a live show at my college in September

Oh my god. Yeah, so I'm like I was literally thinking I'm like how fun it would be to like you know Do like a bar crawl that would be so fun now. I'm like, I don't know if I can Like we're not going to frat parties. That's weird But what if they invite me back to my frat? But you're not going every weekend. Do you know what I mean? That is true or every night I'm not gonna get blitzed with like the little babies like But now I'm like damn this could be what the fuck? No.

I don't know. What is she looking for when she goes to events like that? Yeah. That's what I want to know. I'm not the Bulldog Bash. She's going on there. Bulldog Bash. Go Bulldog.

That's weird. Yeah. Top comment on this one. No one's going to say that it's weird. A 35 year old is partying with people practically half her age. Question mark, question mark, question mark. It's weird. Because I guess initially in the comments,

people were kind of ignoring that. Someone goes, I'm 27 and I feel weird partying out of frat house as a married woman. Yeah, yeah, I would too. Like, I don't, this is just, I'm beyond. Someone goes, it's weird as a single person to be honest. Yeah, I'm 29, I definitely can't step foot. I can't do it.

Yeah. But if I have any University of Minnesota students listening, I'm performing a live show with Jake Shane, Octopus lover. Oh, fun, okay. Tuesday, the 26th of September. It's during homecoming week guys. Oh my gosh, how cute.

I hope I see you there. Did he go there too? I don't think so. Oh, he's just invited him to be the guest. They invited him to be, they were like, we want these two people and we're gonna put them together and that's how it went. Oh, okay.

Yeah. I heard he's really cute. That's gonna be a great episode or whatever. It's gonna be amazing, yeah. I know, I'm really excited for that live show. It'll be good. I'm trying to get cute. That's gonna be a great episode or whatever. It's gonna be amazing. I know. I'm really excited for that live show. It'll be good. I'm trying to get him on an episode too. So we'll see. We'll see.

See how it goes. Yeah, I'm quite concerned with this one. Someone talks about Coachella. They're like, I went to Coachella a few years back. I was 26 at the time. And even I felt extremely out of place surrounded by 19 to 21 year olds. A Coachella?

Yeah. I didn't really notice anyone being young there. I felt extremely out of place surrounded by 19 to 21 year olds. Akicela? Yeah. I didn't really notice anyone being young there. No, I mean, it's weird when I see parents are with like little kids. I always see that stripy, but so many people bring like their babies to raise. Yeah, three or four. And they put them in those little like knapsack things on their back. Yeah.

They have, at least they have little headphones are thinking that. I literally fuck the parents that don't get their kids' headphones. This is a hot take. But if you are bringing your kids to sporting events, football games, concerts, and you don't buy your baby or toddler those little ear headphone things, you're a bad parent. I feel like in most venues,

they make the kids put them on, right? No. Oh, that's a choice. Yeah. Oh, okay. I follow someone on Instagram from college and she has like a husband that plays professional hockey, had their baby and the first game the baby went to, no, your plugs.

And I'm like, damn, but I think someone must have said something to her because the next time she posted a picture of the baby at a game, she had the ear muffs on it. And I'm like, fuck yeah. I was like, we're gonna even yell at me when we go to stuff because I don't wear earplugs to anything. Did I buy you a pair? No, you told me you're gonna make me wear them every time I see you.

That's what you told me. I bought, I must have not given them to you yet. Oh, okay. I gave you your mugs though. Yeah. That I remembered. Um, but no, I got earplugs. I gotta give them to you. Okay. What the hell? Yeah, like I got Coach But no, I got ear plugs. I gotta give them to you.

Okay. What the hell? Yeah, I got Coachella and Morgan's like, oh, what ear plugs are you wearing them? I don't wear those things. She's like, don't you want to be able to hear in your older? I'm like, I mean, yeah. Right?

I didn't know I was supposed to wear them. I like that they have like the little loops ones. I look like earrings, I think those are cute. Yeah, no, they're very discreet. You can't tell, they're clear. They just, your hair covers are mostly anyways. And it's better to protect your hearing because hearing loss is really debilitating.

You don't realize it, but it can affect, this is the OT and me coming out. It can affect all your occupations and think about one of our most important functions in life is our social abilities and our sense of connection. Your sense of connection and how close you feel with a sense of community can literally dictate your quality of life and how happy you are. So if you're hard of hearing, you lose the ability to go out and hang out with friends and

converse with people and all this stuff and it really impacts your quality of life. So everyone out there, wear ear plugs. If you want a really good pair, I'll link them in the description. They're edimotic. And what they do is they just bring down the deciples, but it doesn't change the quality. So you still hear the concert, as it would,

but it's just like, drink down a little bit. Yeah, okay. I have sensory stuff too. I hate loud noises. Me too. What are you not wearing earplugs then? Like when I was washing my hands upstairs, that blow jar thing, so loud.

I don't use it. I did it for two seconds, I was like, and I just wet my hands with my pants. Yeah. I couldn't take it. No, I wet my hands on myself. I don't, I can't. I have to flush the toilet and I'll close my ears.

I was just too, I know it's gonna be too loud. Like on the airplane, it's too long. It's too long. Mm-hmm. Can't do that. Another one of this week's partners is AG1. I was so tired of feeling nauseous every morning and that was one of the biggest reasons

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So this one is coming from Am I the asshole? It's two months old now. Titled Am I the asshole for not making child-inclusive plans? That's someone in my friend group can't attend. Howdy guys. Recently, my friend group has been divided on an issue. I have a group can't attend. Howdy guys, recently my friend group has been divided on an issue. I have a group of six friends and their significant others from high school.

All of us are in our mid-20s. The only person with kids in our friend group is Jessica, who has two young children and is a single mom. I'm the only person in my friend group that can host. As my husband and I own a decent size house and don't have anything stopping us from hosting, I guess. One doesn't want host, two live with their parents and can't, another has roommates that won't let them, etc. We all live in a rural area, so there isn't really anywhere to go for more than a quick dinner. So someone hosting is the only way we can all hang out.

When I host, it's always later in the day, around 7 PM-ish. That's when most of us are off of work. I also have a no children rule for my house since my dog is afraid of children. And I honestly don't like kids anyways. My nephew yanked my dog's tail several times, so now my dog growls at kids. I had a gathering last weekend, a dinner time barbecue, everyone was invited, same rules as normal. Jessica asked if she could bring her kids, because she can't afford a

babysitter, and since both of their dads aren't involved at all. I said no. Because of my dogs, and also because I don't want her baby and toddler at my house. The last time she brought them, she kept trying to push them off on other people who didn't want to hold them so she could relax. Also, her toddler puked on my $5,000 white couch, which I had to replace. No, she didn't pay for it. Why do you have to just clean it? Jessica blew up at me in the group chat and said that I always exclude her. I told her I'm not excluding her. I'm excluding kids, all kids. She's welcome to come if she finds someone to watch her

kids. I also told her she's welcome to host. She kind of went on about how none of that is possible and now she isn't talking to anyone. Our group is split. Half think it's my house, my rules. One said maybe if she screwed better guys, she'd be able to have a babysitter. And two think that I should just let her kids come. To be honest, if it was someone else, I would maybe cave. But I don't like Jessica that much, especially since she didn't pay for my replacement couch. Am I the asshole for making child not friendly plans?

That's someone in my group can't make it to. I would, no, I don't think so, especially because you've let her bring them before and you haven't had good experiences with the kids being there. Yeah, I'm just like really confused about a $5,000 white couch that like, you couldn't, like, I don't know, puke is sometimes difficult to clean.

I get nervous about these. Yeah. I always feel like I'm gonna like, I'm gonna spill my coffee on it. Like, yeah, sometimes stains don't come out, but like, damn, like $5,000 couch. This is like restoration hardware cloud couch or what did you buy?

Also, furniture is expensive. Yeah, in general, yeah. But I don't know. I feel bad for Jessica, because it's like with friends like these who needs enemies. But I understand wanting to like not have kids at certain events.

Yeah, like weddings and yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I don't know I'm torn, but also this is like a low stakes barbeque. That's what I was saying. Put your dog away for a couple hours or something and then yeah. You know what I mean? Also, it's kind of liability to have a dog like that. Like I would around anyone. Yeah. Yeah, and like you, you one were a bad dog owner by not watching your dog with that toddler. Like you should have been the one like kind of advocating for your dog in that situation and be like, no, don't pull this tail a little to me. Or like I'm going to put my dog

away while my whatever niece nephew is here. To make sure that the dog is safe. Yeah. Like you set your dog up for failure. And now you created an issue with your dog. That is a potential liability because God forbid a kid rolls up at your house. Dog bites the kid, parents get pissed, call animal control or sue you. Your dog could be put down. Like dogs don't get to just go off and bite people.

They get put down. So you should be working on that issue with your dog to make sure your dog is happy and safe and can function in public. Like what happens if you wanna take your dog somewhere? To the park or something. To the park or you take your dog to the vet and a kid happens to be walking out with their parents.

Your dog isn't gonna go the rest of its life without seeing a kid. Yeah. walking out with their parents. Your dog isn't gonna go the rest of its life without seeing a kid. Yeah. Come on, come on. Like this whole group, they just seem a little unhinged from reality. Maybe she screwed better guys. Eh, no.

That doesn't, your opinion doesn't count. Do you think they said that in the group chat to her? No, there's probably one outside of it. Where it's like not with her. If one of my friends said that to me, we'd be fighting. We would be physically fighting. I also think too, like, here's an example. So I'm vegan, right? So when I, if you have like a birthday dinner, like at your house, when I go, I don't expect there to be vegan food Like maybe there will be like stuff I can pick from but I already come having already eaten or I always bring food on my own Because I don't expect other people to have to accommodate what I need do you know what I mean?

Yeah, so like in terms of having kids, right like I Kids are messy kids are cuz they you know, you can't really blame them. But as parents, I think they're, sometimes there aren't parents that take accountability for other kids in terms of like, I can't expect everywhere I go for my kids to be accommodated for, you know what I mean? And in a way where I can bring them everywhere. So like when they get mad, they can't go to weddings. Like I was a, a backer, a barbecue thing. It was like a life-remembered.

So we just lost them in my family. So they were doing a barbecue. They were doing speeches like in the backer, like on the, there was like a porch. There were kids like walking around them to go in the house. I couldn't believe it. Well, they're talking and I'm like, oh, like I have this memory of her, I have this memory.

And kids are walking around. And it makes me think of like weddings when like the meat of the owner's giving a speech and kids are playing tag and the, no, you're pissing me off. That makes me think like, that's the parents' response to me because they're little kids,

I'm not gonna yell at someone else's kid. No. I'd be like, who's kid is that? Tell them to come to town, that's your fault. But they're acting like that. So if, I mean, puking, you can't control either. Like, how's your name saying? I don't know.

I think it's kind of sticky. I'm not a parent, but I would think that I wouldn't expect everyone to be able to comment me. But she is a single parent, so she does have things going on. Yeah. But maybe she could bring someone with her if I can watch the kids while she's having fun. I don't, you don't even mean.

I know. It's hard. It's hard when you don't have like a village because it does take a village. A full support system. Yeah. I can't even imagine. It sounds like she doesn't. But like, you make such a good point because it does take a village. A full support system. Yeah, I can't even imagine. It sounds like she doesn't, but like,

you make such a good point because that does happen. And I think, I think that's why a lot of people now are not letting kids come to events. It's the parents fault for not controlling their kids at events. And like, if I was given a maid of honor speech and I saw kids running around, I'd be like, hey Martha, come get your kid.

She's running my speech. This is why a lot of people don't give kids plus ones like or whatever. Like I don't know, but there was something out of friends wedding I went to and me and my other friend were like, damn, like those kids are rowdy. And my friend like on Mary didn't care. Like she obviously invited them. Yeah, whatever. But I was just like, if those were my kids, I would be embarrassed. I would be embarrassed. The puking, like you said,

you can't really control that. Kids throw up, they just throw up. I can't blame them for that. I'm not going to blame them for that. No. It comes out in no way too. It's like they're not expecting it either. It just happens.

No. I remember me and my dad and my little brother went to Disneyland and we were sitting there watching like the electric parade and all of a sudden project of vomit into the street. And I'm like, I look and I go, what the hell, dude? Where'd that come from? I'm just excited to be here.

I can't help it. Yeah. He was just so chill before and then I'm like, damn. Was your brother? Yeah. Yeah, he was little. He's like probably six, seven, somewhere in there. Well, the top comment on this one, not the asshole, bordering on everyone's sucks.

She should be watching her kids and pain for the property they damaged. That being said, the comments about her reproduction choices is not kind. And someone goes, she didn't make those comments. And someone goes after, but she's happy to repeat them and doesn't refute them with any sort of caveat. Next one goes, she's repeating them despite having nothing to do with the story. Yeah, that's what I thought to. She clearly endorses them and uses them to help her reach some sort of moral high ground. Oh, I don't even like her that much. Then what are we talking about?

Don't invite her. What's the issue then? This is a non-problem. Don't invite her. Yeah. You don't have to be around. People you don't like. Yeah.

It's such a your house. You don't have to invite them. People are really weird. Really weird. So, the overall vote ended up being everyone sucks. Yeah, I agree. There were a lot of questions about the couch, people asking that.

So there's edits, edit number one, I got the couch professionally cleaned and they couldn't get the very large stain out. So okay, I went on a puked up couch, I got it. Update, after reading all of your comments, I realized I want a puked up couch. I get it. Update, after reading all of your comments, I realized I'm tired of dealing with Jessica. I'm going to tell her she's no longer welcome at my home

and ask her to pay for my couch. If she doesn't, then we can go to court about it. All right, relax. Bro, you're really paid for it, that's enough. Jessica's got two kids, single mom. She cannot afford a $5,000- She can't even afford a babysitter. What makes you think she's like, oh, wait, no, I can't pay for that. Sorry. There's no way. Also, I think what's really hard is like,

it's kind of the same with borrowing close to people, whereas like, I borrowed you this shirt. It's a $200 shirt. If something happens, the understanding is you would replace it. Yeah. But I've had a friend once be like, I can't afford to replace that. Well, then it's like, you should borrow it. And then it just puts both of you in an awkward uncomfortable position. And it's like, okay, well, maybe Jessica

could replace your couch, but it's not gonna be the same quality. $5,000 couch. It might be a doop. So I don't know, and I don't know what a judge would say. Like, it's a small claims or I don't even know what type of court you take from. Judge Judy. Yeah.

Literally, this is a judge Judy case. Do you think she offered it to Hulk Cleanet? Like Jessica did? I'm not sure. Another edit. You guys are really mad. I like nice white couches, but I'll give further info. One, I considered having the couch re-apholstered, but the cost to have it shipped out, fixed, and shipped back,

cost over 5K, so it was cheaper and easier to buy a new one. Bitch, I re-apholster furniture all the time. This is literally my passion project. You pay someone on lug. It's like $100 to have them pick it up and bring it to a reappolster. You buy the fabric, depends on what fabric you go with. Sometimes it's $15 a yard. Sometimes it's $100 a yard. Depends. And then they reappolster it.

To reappolster a couch, six chairs, and two accent chairs, it was $1500. Get real. Be serious. Be serious. That's the best way to put be serious. Be serious. There's no way. Number two, yes, I have a white couch and a dog. My dog knows not to go near the couch. I've had the couch for two years without incident. It was fine until Jessica's kids showed up. Number three, I didn't invite Jessica and her kids. I said no kids are allowed and she showed up with her kids while I was in the bathroom and set her kids. I said no kids are allowed, and she showed up with her kids, while I was in the bathroom,

and set her kids down on the couch. Her kid then puked all over it. And then they stayed there for us for the party, while she's giving one of the babies to another person a hold. Yeah. Yeah, she sounds like Jessica's getting more interesting. Yeah.

Yeah. I still think, I feel like two, I feel like for weddings, two people will be like, well, my kids don't count, I could bring them, right? Yeah. And the people will be like, all kids. Oh, okay. Mine don't count. Yes, they do.

Yeah. Don't bring them. No, kids. Yeah, no, that's really strange. I have seen a lot of Reddit stories where it's like my cousin thought her niece was excluded from that rule. So people definitely think like, oh, it doesn't apply to me. Yeah, so she was like, that doesn't apply to me.

You're the only one with kids, so it does. It does. Yeah, sorry. You're, yeah. No, I don't know. I'm like really torn on this one now, having all the edits. I think I lean towards not the asshole, but still kind of, I think't know. I'm like really torn on this one now, having all the edits. I think I lean towards not the asshole, but still kind of, I think everyone sucks,

honestly, is the perfect vibe. I like so too, yeah. They're just like, just, just, all of them suck. Truly, they're shitty. You're a shitty for the couch. She's shitty for bringing the kids. I feel bad for her, she doesn't have a community in a babysitter.

I just don't like them. I don't like any of them. No, me either. Okay, moving along. This next one, I haven't read it. I know it has an update. I haven't read that either, but it's got 23k upvotes about lots of awards. Awards awards. They get awards on Reddit. You didn't know that? No. Yeah, you get awards.

So some of the awards it has are the helpful award, the keep calm award, stop chill, relax, the hugs award. Like you need hugs. So it's got four of those. And it's got the Take My Energy Award. Seven of those. I love looking at the names of them. Take My Power Award. So this person really, really needed the love. The title is My Husband is cheating on me with my best friend. The title is, My Husband is cheating on me with my best friend.

Is it not the first story we read? This one's different? Different. Okay. Different. Yeah, that one, those, they were broken up. Yeah, all the true, sure, sure. This person, they're still, they're married. Oh, okay, got it.

I'm honestly not sure where to start. So, I guess I'll just start. My husband and I have been dating since I was 19 and he was 22. We've been married for six years now. We have two kids, and I'm six months pregnant with our third. Two years ago, I found out my dad has stage three colon cancer. My dad is my only parent as my mom passed away when I was 12. He's my favorite human, and life without him just doesn't seem as colorful.

His laugh is contagious and he gives these big bear hugs that seem to make all of your broken pieces feel like they're perfectly in place again. Whenever I've had a hard day, he doesn't poke and prod and just lets me vent and listen. About five months ago, we discovered the treatments aren't working for him. And in direct quote of the doctor, he said, months, not years. Since then, he's gotten progressively worse and is now losing memory.

He looked at the dog he got for me on my 21st birthday and said, wow, that's a nice dog. Where'd you get it? My husband has been my absolute rock. He's been there for me, holding my hand and helping me through this. dog, where'd you get it? My husband has been my absolute rock. He's been there for me holding my hand and helping me through this. He's been so loving and attentive to both my kids and I. Don't get me wrong, I am a mother first always.

I don't allow myself to wallow. My kids are still loved, cared for, played with, and I haven't let my load slack around the house. Once my dad got this updated prognosis, my husband encouraged me to quit my job. About a month later, we discovered we were pregnant again, and I still hadn't let go of my job. I kept holding out for some reason. After finding out I was pregnant again, he assured me it was still okay to quit my job,

that honestly, it would save us a small fortune on daycare costs anyways. So I did, I quit my job. My best friend and I have been best friends since diapers. Her family is like my family and vice versa. My mom and her mom grew up together. We've always been solid and right after my dad's appointment, when we found out he had so little time left, I drove straight to her house

and she held me while I cried for hours. If there are soulmates in friend form, she was mine. Thick as thieves is what my mom used to say. This morning, as I was up with my three-year-old, he sick, my husband work alarm was going off. He has a few set, so I turned that one off and gently woke him up. He said he was up late working working so he took the morning off, rolled over and went back to sleep. As I went to turn off the remainder of his alarms, I saw a text from my best friend on his lock screen that said, quote, I'm assuming since there hasn't been any angry pregnant lady on my doorstep,

you haven't told her about us yet. I feel sick. I literally feel sick right now. Time froze in that moment. I took his phone and walked away and just read their conversations. Four months this man has been fucking my best friend. Four months these people have been lying to my face. And I know what you're going to say. You should have seen the warning signs, but I've been clutching this phone in my hand for two hours and nothing. He has been so loving and attentive to me, but he always has been. So kind, so gentle. There's been no late-night work nights except for once in a blue moon. There's been no lingering touches between them or even

glances. They act as they have since the day I first introduced them. How sick is it that she calls him her brother, but she screws him. I know so many people get a moment of clarity in situations like this, but I have none. Side from being sad about my dad, I haven't changed. I'm still a loving wife and mother. I still dote it on him and my children. I talk to him about how he is doing and how his fucking day was. I haven't allowed the ground to swallow me whole. I know what I have to do now, but I just don't want to.

I'm about to lose my family and my support system in one blow. I'll confront him tomorrow. Today, question mark. Today, I just need the last 24 hours of peace. As for her, I won't give her the satisfaction of her response. I don't care why she did it. She did it. And it's done. I was always the friend who cleaned up her messes. After today, I will cut her out of my life like she never mattered

at all. This has to be the hardest storm I'll ever weather. But damn, I know I'll sail through it. If not for me, for my children. Damn. I just want to cry. That's crazy. Why? The first one was so much better. They were broken up. Now I'm like not the asshole all the way, buddy. Yeah. Let's go back to that one. Wow. I'm kind of at a loss for words with this one. I know. Because there's so many layers in there of things she's going through. Like, that's, yeah.

So many layers. And I think the saddest part about this one for me is I've seen a lot lately on like the roles, especially for like, sit, Sitt's head couples of the roles within the family unit, and how the mom is always the one children, a lot of the emotional labor, the mental load, all this stuff. And there was some crazy stat I read where men invest 35% into their family of their own money, whereas a woman with her own financial independence will invest 90% of her income into her family. And I'm just like women, as women, we take on so much more in cis-hat relationships. I know it's probably a little different for gay couples and queer couples, but I hear this

and I read this part where she said, I'm still so loving and attentive to both my kids. Don't get me wrong. I am always a mother first. I don't allow myself to wallow. My kids are loved, cared for, played with, and I haven't let my load slack around the house. She's arguably dealing with one of the worst things in her life, losing her parent.

Yeah, her last one. Her rock. And she can't even slack for one minute on being a mother. Like there is so much pressure to always be a good mom. You can't even take time to be a grieving daughter. And I just find that so sad in all of this. And like also the fact that like you know she had to mention it in this post because other people would have been like,

well, what about your kids? I hate to, when women get cheated on, when they go, well, where you not picking up around the house or did you let yourself go. Well, I mean, your six months pregnant, were married, you're supposed to be in love with me. What are we doing? I never understand that type of narrative.

So, I mean, it's definitely like you're saying it's these like super strict, like heteronormative roles, they play specifically mostly on women. Yeah. And that men kind of just get to be the guy that shows up. And I mean, I mean, it sounds like he's a good husband in other ways,

but not in the most important way in being faithful and like, loyalty or partner, I don't get that at all. Oh my God, it's baffling and what you say is so so spot on because she even says I know people are gonna say like You should have seen the warning signs and the reality is sometimes there's not warning signs There is isn't and then I saw like Tefia posted yesterday Closure doesn't exist like when people say like you probably just need closure, it doesn't exist.

No, I think that's so true. Cause I feel like you can never be 100% truthful with people in situations like that. So with her, like, even if she did see the warning signs, what does that mean? Would he have stopped doing it? He's already doing it. You know what I mean?

She can't stop it. No. That's his fault. And her friends fault, not her fault. I, I cannot imagine ever doing this to one of my best friends. Like I look at again, like you always kind of put yourself in these stories shoes. And this would be me and Justin married three kids and Lauren and Alejandra, like having a secret relationship. And it like, no matter how perfect I thought someone else's partner was for me.

That's my best friend, that's my sister. They're not even friends at this point, they're family. And that's this fucking people, like you're family, you've been friends since you were in diapers, your moms were friends growing up. No one is worth it. No one. Like maybe she can't see science

because she's pregnant and losing her dad. That's what you're doing. Like there's a lot of other stressors going on that maybe the husband took that opportunity. Like okay, she's not really paying attention. So I'm like, yeah, quit your job. So then she like, it's like, oh my gosh, she's the best. You get what I mean?

Yeah, it is interesting that obviously, the affair was going on when he's pressuring her to quit. Cause then she has to stay at home with the kids. Yeah, which also confuses me what he's telling the friend because for the friend, it's like, well, I assume you haven't told her about us yet. Almost like he's telling the friend, I'm gonna tell, it's like, well, I assume you haven't told her about us yet. Almost like he's telling the friend, I'm going to tell her, I'm going to tell her.

But you, in your real home life, just told your wife she can quit. It's almost like he's not expecting to ever tell her. He's not expecting a divorce, because if he was, he just set this woman up for the biggest fucking failure of her life. Yeah. No job. Yeah. How can she get divorced? How can she leave him pregnant again? Now what about the kids in staying home with the kids? Can she get her job back? It's almost like he set this up in case she did find out. So she was financially dependent upon him. Yeah. And she couldn't leave. Yeah. She has to be like, okay, with her or whatever,

I can't over it. Yeah. What a fucking asshole. Mm-hmm. So the top comment on this one, oh, it's a small update. It's, oh, gosh, she posted an update quick. So there is like not a top comment from actual people. The top comment is her small update,

but then there's also an additional update. So a small update about everything going on since my kids are now in bed for the night. I spent the morning gathering everything I could and making a checklist. I sat in my office for the better part of the morning telling my husband that I was preparing things for my dad. Not a total lie, I did have to get him sorted with hospice today. My boss would be happy to have me back. However, my lawyer said pump the brakes on that idea for the time being. However, my old boss did tell me that whenever

I'm ready, the door is open and to just give her a call. Oh, thank goodness. Oh, she has that. I love this woman. Her having to prepare her dad for hospice in the midst of this is insane. I want to find this man and pop his tires. I hate him. He does not have access to my inheritance from my father, nor my mother. My lawyer ensured me in that.

I didn't mention her in the post, but my mother-in-law is an absolute angel. I love and adore her so much. And she has always been a shoulder to lean on. After he had gone to work for the afternoon, I allowed my now ex-best friend's mom and my mother-in-law to meet me at my dad's house. My kids were outside playing with now ex-best friends older brother. I just handed them the screenshots, saving them from

an unsavory pictures and sex tape though, I did tell them that existed. To say they were furious was an understatementement and they are on my side completely. Angie, my now ex best friend's mom, is ready to cut contact with her daughter completely. Wow. She kept repeating how sorry she was. We hugged and cried together. My mother-in-law told me she couldn't believe. She raised a spine-less, terrible human. That no matter what happens, I will always have her, and as far as she's concerned, she doesn't have a son, only a daughter. As an in-person meeting with my lawyer, we went over finances, logistics, and everything

you could think of. She has all the proof, and she's out for blood. With this post now on TikTok, I don't want him to find out by an app because one look at the story, and he'd know it was about him. With permission from my lawyer, my now ex-best friend, her mom, and my dad, my soon-to-be ex and his parents, we'll be having a get-together tomorrow. By the time they're sitting down and showing them everything, and that I know, my dad, my kids, and my ex-best friend's brother, he's coming to help me juggle the kids, and my dad, being big and pregnant doesn't help with mobility will be at my dad's cabin a few hours away enjoying

time and space. I know a lot of people were helping for me to get revenge or do psychological warfare, but honestly after my kids went to bed, I took a shower and just broke. I don't have the strength or energy to dish anything out. I just want out pretending like everything was okay today was too exhausting and I just don't want to do it. Once he finds out tomorrow, I'll update with aftermath as I'm sure it will be huge. As for now, thank you all so much for your kindness, warmth, and support. Truly. Your words have helped give me the strength to keep my head above water.

I appreciate every single last one of you. Hmm. I'm just so, so grateful for the mother-in-law, the ex best friends mom, but especially the mother-in-law because that is her child. Yeah. And there's so many of these stories where it does go the other way of like, I don't believe you. You let yourself go. So I don't blame him for it. Yeah. Yeah. Same with like her ex-best friend's older brother helping and stuff. Yeah. Maybe they'll get married. That's where my like little hopeless romantic heart goes.

I'm like, maybe they'll get divorced and then he'll be like the the here. Yeah. Like, did you ever see that movie with? Is it Bridewars? How did you know? I was literally thinking, she leaves the shitty guy. She leaves her spat. Well, I know. And then ends up with the brother,

Kate Hudson's brother in the movie who is so much cuter. I know, I agree. I forget the actor's name, but I love him. Yeah, I feel like it's like Jake something. He's so cute. He is so cute. There's a guy at Spotify that is Ligley, his doppelganger.

Have you met him? I don't think so, no. He was at the Happy Hour for a fix. Maybe I did. Yeah. I'll point him out next time, but he's so nice too. And he just got engaged. I'm like, I want to go on a double date with him and his fiancee because he's, he's

just so nice. I love the team there. I know they're all really cool. Great. Okay. Let's get to this update. So I don't have to hold you hostage too much longer. It is a long one.

Okay. Buckle up friends. Hello, everyone. I'm here with the much awaited update. Also the original post was a month old and the update is coming also a month. So it's like, this all happened speedy quick. Fast. Yeah. Hi, everyone. I like, this all happened speedy quick. Fast, okay. Yeah.

Hi everyone, I'm here with the much-weighted update. For my typing sake, I'm going to give everyone fake names, so for the context, mother-in-law and father-in-law, Ruth and Joe. X, BFF parents, Angie and Bob. X, BFF, Jess. Soon to be X, Tyler. X best friend's brother, Jake. I'll also just refer to my dad as dad. I have a few things I want to get through, so I'll just summarize as best I can. soon to be ex-tiler, ex-best friends, brother, Jake.

I'll also just refer to my dad as dad. I have a few things I wanna get through, so I'll just summarize as best I can, and if you have any questions, I'll answer them in the comments. To get this out of the way, because it feels important, yesterday I scheduled a same day appointment

with my OBGYN and got tested for just about every STI out there. I got the results for most back, and they were all negative. There's a few that take up to two weeks to get the results back So I'll be waiting on those. When I met with my lawyer, I brought everything on my end financially wise, including the Will's from both my dad and my mom and I managed to get my hands on his financial documents. He stores his in his office in a locked box. I also brought over everything we had set up financially for my children. While I'm not totally sure if it's everything, I'm pretty confident I got most of it. My lawyer was happy I managed to get my hands on that much. Ruth even handed over her will to me from both her and Bob to ensure I was taken care of in the divorce.

Oh damn. Mother-in-law and father-in-law. My lawyer understands I'm wanting a divorce immediately. However, she wants to make sure she is thorough and isn't missing any key info. So hopefully, I'll have actual divorce papers to give him in about 30 days. I'm not rushing her though.

I'm letting the professional do her job. Now for the sit-down. I asked Angie and Ruth to describe everything in detail on what happened. Angie, the revenge seeker that she is, forced them to sit through a slide show she put together of all the texts. I know. So she didn't even go away?

These are their parents showing them, okay. Yeah, mom of best friend and mother-in-law. Yeah. I know a lot of you were concerned about one of them telling them sooner than later, but they were so secretive they didn't even tell their significant others about what was happening. Once the slideshow ended, Tyler soon to be ex tried lunging for Jess and Joe actually had to force him to sit down.

Tyler was shouting profanities at Jess and telling her she will regret this. Jess started crying and begging her parents for forgiveness. Bob looked at his daughter in the eye and told her he will never forgive will regret this. Jess started crying and begging her parents for forgiveness. Bob looked at his daughter in the eye and told her he will never forgive her for this. Blood or not, she is no daughter of his. He didn't raise his daughter to be this person. Jess was always a daddy's girl, so I think that cut her pretty deep.

Jess is in the middle of a divorce herself, and her parents were giving her money for her lawyer, and they told her she is cut off from both of them financially and physically. Damn. I don't understand why Tyler was lunging at just though. Yeah. Like, do you?

She didn't tell. You did this to yourself. You both said it. Yeah. Oh, Tyler's dad was I rate. According to Ruth, he looked like he was holding back on throttling him. From there, Tyler went straight home.

I know because we have a ring doorbell camera along with a few cameras in the house for our kids to keep an eye on them when we aren't right next to them. Tyler came home and saw that most of mine and the kid's stuff was gone and he lost it. Started yelling and throwing things. The house is now trashed with a few holes in the walls for decoration.

When he didn't find us there, he went to my dads. While I did spend most of my day, he was at work packing and moving things into my dad's house. We were already at his cabin. Tyler took a baseball bat to my dad's door, trying and failing to break it down. My dad's neighbor actually called the cops on him

and he was arrested. His parents refused to bail him out. Wow, okay, we're not even done. Wow, wow. I had an appointment with my therapist today. I've had one for a year now since I was struggling with my dad and it felt good to just cry it out and let everything out about how I was feeling. It was very helpful and she gave me a few tools to work through my emotions with this one. I felt very grounded and empowered leaving my session today. I'm also planning on setting up my children with a therapist when we get back from the cabin to figure out the best way to deal with telling them. I know people said that I shouldn't, but I will be telling them just in an age-appropriate way. I don't want there to be secrets and

lies between us. I've always been and open and honest as I can with them. Again, in the most kid-appropriate way, just because they're small humans, they're still humans and deserve the truth. How old are they? Yeah, maybe when they're older. Why not just a three-year-old? I remember that. That's too young. Yeah. Like, yeah, you're getting divorced, but not. The details, I don't even think they need to know that. You know, sometimes you, like, that's like, it doesn't involve them.

Yeah, don't do it. I had a handful of comments telling me I should stay and every man cheats. I should work through things because most of our marriage was good. No. I refuse to believe all men cheat. My parents were married for 20 years and after my mom passed, my dad never moved on. I watched my dad love my mom for 12 of those years and cherish her. I will not accept anything less than that kind of love. He never cheated, nor did

she. While I'm not sure when I'll be ready to move on, fun and love is the absolute last thing on my mind at the moment. I refuse to let Tyler win and destroy love for me completely. I will move on from this. Just started blowing up my phone, demanding I fix the situation and immediately blaming me. My lawyer told me to not block text just in case they spill out additional info I was missing. She was playing the poor me card very hard. The thing is though, I never influenced Angie and Bob to cut contact with their daughter. They made that choice on their own. She actually started blaming me for stealing the love of her life.

I introduced them when Tyler and I started dating. So not sure where that came from. And that Tyler is only with me for the kids. Honestly, I knew she was just trying to hurt me at this point. I didn't give her the satisfaction of responding though. Between her and Tyler, I have about 200 missed calls. Tyler went from begging and pleading me to forgive him. Like I said, I didn't have divorce papers to hand him. So he stuck in the unknown gray area. I also asked Angie and Ruth to not say anything about the divorce to him yet, purely just for my satisfaction, honestly. I know it's slightly petty, but keeping him in the gray area of not knowing is my small revenge to him. To now threatening to call the cops on me for kidnapping, telling me Jess wasn't the only one,

bingo, just what I was looking for, to telling me I'm a stuck up bitch to threatening me, to back to begging me for forgiveness. Honestly, it was just a whip lash reading those tags. I'd be lying and saying, if those tags didn't hurt me and terrifying me all at once, but I refused to let him break me. This is a bad ass woman. As for both of them, I don't think he is going to stay with her.

I think he blames her for blowing up our marriage honestly. Who knows though, they deserve each other. I was initially okay to do a 50-50 split with Tyler for custody, but after this reaction, I don't feel comfortable with that. So I'll likely be going for full custody. initially okay to do a 50-50 split with Tyler for custody, but after this reaction, I don't feel comfortable with that. So I'll likely be going for full custody. Damn. Jake has about 30 days of leave, he saved up,

and he's going to be using them to help the kids and I get settled at my dad's house, and honestly, to be there in case Tyler tries to show up, going crazy again. They're gonna fall in love with you guys. I'm telling you. He's been such a big help to the kids and I lately, and I'm forever in his debt for this.

Last night after the kids went to bed, he hooked up his Xbox and we played a game called Diablo 4 together. Tell me, take my mind off things, it was fun. However, he did sort of confess that he's always had feelings for me. So much in the midst of things. But also told me not to say or do anything

back. He understands a relationship or anything like that is not my mind and won't be there for a while. He isn't wrong, but just that he's felt that way since we were teenagers and just wanted to get an office chest. It's literally by words. I was so happy, but still so mad. Okay. Thank you again. Seriously, your comments, your support, your messages, all of it has been one giant breath of fresh air. Just knowing I have a whole online community

willing to go for bat for me has kept me treading water these last few days. Your comments have popped in my head when I felt like just giving up on leaving him because it's so hard and gave me so many great points and helpful advice. I know I deserve more and I can't accept his actions. And to the people who commented relating to my situation, my heart goes out to you all.

This pain is awful and I hate it and I hate that so many of you can relate. But your stories have resonated deep within me. You all keep commenting me for my strength and my personal favorite is telling me how proud of me you are Every time I see those words I start to tear up. I'm blaming the pregnancy hormones But your words have helped me put at ease. So the way I could do what I knew I needed to do So I'll leave this here for now if anything of importance happens when I go back home. I'll update further Thank you all and I hope you have a wonderful evening. Ah!

I just kinda have a happy ending. I love that so many people rally to Rounder because she only has her dad. Do you know what I mean? And they're like, he's sick. We're not even gonna put this on him. And all these people stepped up for her. I love that.

Unbelievable. Oh my god, they're, oh fuck. I shouldn't have looked for it. I know there's another update too. No, does she go back to? No, oh, I think I feel safe in saying like, she's so strong and like everyone else is saying like, I am so proud of her like to have that strength

is incredible because I did want to mention like, I don't know if, like, to have that strength is incredible because I did want to mention, like, I don't know if personally, like, I would have this strength. When you're so deeply invested and you have kids and you have this home in this life, it is so easy to give someone another chance. Yeah, of course. Like, that's the easier option for sure.

And I know I am very quick to jump to divorce. I get that and I fully believe this is 100% divorce. But it's always easier said than done, right? I was quick. You're not in it, yeah. No, and so when I read these stories, I do say divorce because these people all do deserve better. But like, it's kind of like, oh fuck, like I don't know.

I don't know if I would be so strong. I hope so. I would like to think so deep down because when an ex has burned me, I wasn't the person that needed closure. I didn't even respond to the breakup text message. Like, I don't need closure. If you burn me, I'm done and I move on. So it's like, I would like to think I'm good.

But like you said, the fact that so many people rallied around her, when they didn't need to, they didn't have to. Their loyalties were to their children, other people, her. When they did, like they didn't need to, they didn't have to. Their loyalty is where to their children, other people. And the fact they did. Incredible. Absolutely incredible. Yeah, I don't know, that's crazy. There's no need for her to see the husband.

I already know what is happening, that's it. You know, I agree. Wow. Okay, this update is a lot shorter. So much has happened, but here are the things that have happened. Tyler discovered the post and asked me if I was seeking a divorce. I said I was. He apologized for losing his cool, asked if there was any hope for reconciliation.

He not have said that. How do you know they weren't going to get a divorce? Probably not. I said no. We did have a conversation about the kids and he'll be allowed to see them with supervision, which he agreed to. Had another meeting with my lawyer, nothing of major importance happened there,

nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing has happened with Jake. He didn't take back his confession, but as I said, it's on the back burner for a long while. My kids' health and wellbeing take priority over all else. My dad's health is on a steady decline. He's now in the hospital with no release date in the immediate future. Please send over thoughts and well wishes his way.

My kids are just in well. We have a therapy appointment for them scheduled next week to help. My oldest has more questions than the rest, but I'm trying to save any big conversations for the therapy appointment. So I know I'm conveying the answers in a meaningful and the least harmful way.

Also, my oldest made tryouts for the traveling soccer league. Yay. And baby is doing great. Fucking yeah, she's so pregnant. Things have calmed down a lot. Truly, I feel like I have a better grip on things. I've been putting most of my focus on my dad and kids to keep myself busy. Thank you all for the love and support and for checking in.

Oh, well, I'm glad she's still doing relatively well. Yeah. Also, I did mention colonoscopies at the beginning of this episode. But this is like my monthly reminder of like, get the colonoscopie you guys, especially younger. Like, if you're around 30 and you have stomach symptoms, blood in your stool, chronic diarrhea, bloating, there's a list of symptoms associated with colon cancer and stomach cancers.

And if you have any of those, get a colonoscopy. Like, your health is not worth jeopardizing. And I did find out like my mom's husband died from colon cancer and they did one of the tests that you send in first and he got a false negative. So like the doctor literally said, like if that test would have came back positive, he would probably still be here.

So just go for the colonoscopy. And like Lauren is doing one, my friend Lauren, and like it's $500, but I'm like, hey, it's an investment in your house. Like if you get a colonoscopy, I literally broke it down. I'm like, if you get a colonoscopy, it's $500. Okay, you're good for 10 years, if they don't find any polyps, and I did the math,

and I was like, I think it equivlated to like $5 every month is what your colonoscopy would cost you. Over the course of 10 years. Yeah, yeah. That's one coffee. Yeah. Like, is one coffee a month worth your health and your life and not dying or going through painful chemo and radiation

colonoscopies do it Okay, that is all I have for you. I feel very good. I feel like the beginning a little chaotic. Yeah, but we really we came out the end We rounded it out at the end. I felt it. Yeah. Yeah, I felt it Feel great. We're having our meet queue in the thing that we wanted. I called it. I don't want to see we manifested that, but I feel like we did. I am going to subscribe to her username. I will stock this woman two years from now if this podcast is still rolling.

Yeah. Hope it is. Things crossed. I will be like, you guys. We haven't update. Like she's very frequent with the update. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna become friends. Those are my favorite Instagram hosts. We're like update on whatever story I love them.

I'm gonna ask her if we can become friends on Instagram. Yeah. She's gonna be like no. You're stuck. No thanks. You're a stalker. Oh my God. And I have a stalker story for my episode later today

with my friend. Okay. Do you want a sneak peek? Sure. Stalker just popped into my head. I'm like, I have to share this one with you. Because it's a stalker or it's a stalker story? It's a stalker story.

Okay. It's titled, I stalked my husband for two and a half years before we truly met. I feel like I saw something on TikTok like that. Like a girl, like they got married and then she admitted, is it that story? I probably is. Oh yeah.

Can you imagine if your future partner is out there just watching your every move right now, planning for a way to like integrate in your life to meet you? Yeah, and you're not a public person, like a public figure, like kind of like how we are like, what? That makes sense if people would do that,

but not a regular guy. We're like, well, I feel like we're pretty normal. You're more public facing than me. No, you're saying. We're not single, that's why you think that. Do you know what I mean? Like I feel like everyone is watching me in terms of like, who am dating and stuff like that.

Like if you Google my name, then the suggestions the second one is fiance hate that hey stop doing that Who's googling that stop you can get her moved? Just email Google oh, okay get her moved nothing's gonna come up guys. I've scrubbed it so I Want to see a picture though now. I'm curious. I will show you pictures. Yeah, okay Okay, um where can people find you? My first name Dyson off Walla first and last name on Where can people find you? My first name, Deicin Offwala, first and last name on TikTok and Instagram.

It's like my main thing right now. Yeah. And the podcast. See, it was it, girls. This is my podcast. I love this. This is really cute. Lucy did it.

Oh, you did. It was amazing. I love it when I walked in. I was like, how cute. I know. I'm a reference to you. Yeah, if you're watching on YouTube, that's how you spell two idiot girls. And we post every Tuesday.

What's it called? We're launching a membership, a Patreon soon. That's going to have a bunch of stuff on it, which I'm really excited about. Yeah. Because Morgan's been telling me to do it for the last like year. Yeah. So yeah, we're finally doing it. Yeah.

And I think we're going to go on tour again next year. I'll probably be back on here before then, but that's okay for sure. I'm too remind you all for sure. Other than that, I think that's all I have going on right now, really amazing. Well, thank you for coming on. Thank you for having me. I love coming. As soon as you ask me, I'm like, yeah, when? Yeah, let's go.

Jason will be more of a regular. We've negotiated that. So it'll be really good. I feel like monthly, for sure, by monthly, we've got to we'll be more regular now going forward, but I'm so happy to have you. I know. I hope you can come Remember we were talking about I want to go to Europe for my 30th birthday. We were talking about where Paris London Yeah, where do you want to go down over there Iceland? Iceland's a little off the beaten path, but but

Iceland air if you fly from like with them They'll give you a stop over in Iceland for the same price as what it costs to just fly to London Oh, okay, so you can like get a free trip out of the couple of days Yeah, yeah, cuz my cousins are talking about like they have like little Christmas villages Maybe these in December. Oh, so I wanted to go right I'm gonna go into summer. Yeah So that's actually yeah, and we'll do vloggers some shit. Oh Yeah, I got a gimbal. I got like a GoPro. I got I got all the stuff We got a drone we can bring. Ooh, okay.

It's all obsessed. Say less. I'm so single, by the way, just trying to end with that. Thanks for having me guys. Bye guys, until next time. Bye. Thanks for watching! you