Two Hot Takes - 13: Animals.. What Did We Do to Deserve Them?

Episode Date: April 22, 2021

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host, Lauren! Episode includes blind reactions to Reddit animal related dilemas and stories. We love our furry, scaley, and hooved friends but sometimes they bring the drama with them. Stories include a guy who has been feeding earwax to his cat, a man who found his sisters lost dog and wouldn't drive him home, a woman who causes a stir at work when she wouldn't allow an emotional support horse in, a girl who accidentally killed a guys pet spider, and a woman who has a very special support cat. TW: Eating Disorders and graphic content at the end.   Show your support (much appreciated): https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes  Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes

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I think we all are dealing with enough heavy shit in the world and I think we just need lighthearted, happy episodes, which is why we're here on another episode of Two Hot Takes. Exactly. I'm your host, Morgan. And I'm Lauren. And we're coming at you with an animals episode today,

which I cannot wait for. I hope it's good. I hope it's good. The stories are super, they're dramatic, but they're also lighthearted and kind of like a what the hell. Okay. Well, I have an animal one that I literally can't wait to share because-

Oh my God, I'm nervous. It like makes my heart, I don't even know how to explain. You'll understand when we get there. Okay. Well, let's dive in. Okay, let's do it. So animals, what did we do to deserve them? I have no idea.

I don't either. They're incredible. Having an animal has been proven to increase your life, decrease blood pressure. Like having an animal is physically, mentally good for you. And despite that, they cause a lot of drama. So today's episode, animals. I decided, speaking of causing drama,

I decided that anyone who hates cats, I don't fuck with. I don't fully trust. I understand if you're just like, they're not my preference. Some people haven't had a good experience. But if you tell me that you genuinely hate cats, I don't trust you. I think you can not be a cat person,

but not hate that. I think if you physically hate cats with a burning passion, like who hurt you? Just like animals in general. All Honduras terrified of butterflies. Weird to me. I think they're cute. So random.

Yet I realized I really don't like frogs. So that one's kind of weird. I think it was growing up in Minnesota. And I don't like cockroaches. Yeah, well, that's kind of a normal one. Let's go with normal one. Sorry, I cut you off. But I think it's from growing up in Minnesota

and accidentally stepping on them in the sun. Oh, that would, yeah, that would be tough. Just traumatized me. So I don't like frogs. So like I get it, like this little slimy like, but some people have frogs as pets. So I don't know, like to each their own. Yeah.

No, but and then any of the listeners, like it's not that serious if you've made a comment that you hate cats, like I have friends still that have said that. But, but like Lauren, Lauren will still like you. But I'm just saying it's, if people like genuinely hate an animal, like especially like one that is known to be a companion.

Yes, but cats can be a little buck wild. They can be absolute assholes. Like I'm not gonna lie. I've seen, yeah, but cats more often. And like I've seen the biggest like entitled cats like ever. They're just doing whatever the fuck they want. So I'm not like, I don't, I'm not like, this blows my mind that people don't like cats.

But however, I just to like genuinely hate that's, I don't know, and you just haven't met the right cat yet. That's the thing. They're just more picky. They are very selective with who they like. Yeah, exactly. And I always say to people who say they hate cats, this is my main motto.

You don't hate cats. Cats hate you. Because if cats didn't hate you, there's no way that you could possibly hate them. Drops, Mike. Where did you get that one? Chicken soup for the cat lover's soul. No, it just came to me.

Like it's probably a phrase somewhere else, but like I genuinely came up with it by myself. Well, let's just start off with a cat story. Okay, let's do it. Am I the asshole for feeding earwax to my cat? Yes. Yes, that's weird. The overall vote on this one is not the asshole.

I don't like that. I mean, unless there's good benefits to it that I don't know about, then yeah, of course, that's fine. Cures your cat's cancer. Yeah, then of course, but like I've never heard of that. So it's weird to me. Well, let's see what their reasoning is. I know the title is gross, but bear with me.

My cat loves earwax more than anything in this world. At first I was perplexed when she kept stealing my roommate's earplugs, earbuds, Q-tips out of the garbage bin, et cetera. While trying to get to the bottom of why she kept stealing these things, I found out that some cats are naturally attracted to the scent of earwax because it contains an animal protein

that is part of their diet. Interesting. Wow. Who would have known? That is crazy. That's kind of cool. I love when we get to learn things. Learn something new every day.

Wow. I thought it was gross, but also kind of hilarious. To test my knowledge, I stuck my finger in my ear to see if that would get my cat to react the way she does to the other ear objects. She wrapped her front paws around my finger to hold it in place and licked all the earwax she possibly could.

I'd never seen her licking something like this. Oh my God. How much earwax does this person have? I don't know. I don't usually have that much. I mean, I've seen some crazy TikToks with those ear cleaning kits. Oh God, I wanna do that so badly.

Every time I see it, it makes me like, oh, I need to do it. Like when I watch it, I'm like, oh my God, that's in me, like I need to get it out. Like that was so satisfying. Or if you see the little camera, like the ear, nose, and throat doctors, they have the little cameras that go in

and you can see all the wax hanging on your canal. So satisfying. I'm like, get that shit out of me. God. Wow. Soon, earwax mostly became a replacement for cat treats. It was healthier, easier to access, completely free, and she seems to prefer it over her store-bought treats.

Anyways, she's looked into this though. She knows that it's safe. Yeah. I mean, we could fact check. But I mean, it seems like the OP has kind of done their research. Note, I only replace the treats which she gets as a reward occasionally.

She still eats cat food for her meals. I've also told my vet and she thought it was amusing and didn't see any problems with it. Fast forward to now. My aunt is staying over for a couple of days. I thought she was out of the room, so I stuck my finger in my ear and let my cat have a go as a reward

for behaving so well with a stranger in the house. As usual, she licks until my poor fingertips are sore from her sandpaper tongue. I turn around and notice my aunt, standing in the door, horrified. Why does that feel like a movie? This is like some meet the parents moment. Like, jinksy pooping on the toilet.

Like I just visualized that so perfect with the aunt just like jaw dropped in the door. Yeah, zoned out like what the hell's going on. I tried to explain, but she didn't want to hear it. And here's where I think I may be the asshole. She told me that was absolutely disgusting and that I shouldn't quote trick my cat into eating gross things

because she doesn't know any better. She texted my mom who called me and allowed me to explain. But even still, my mom said, don't do gross stuff like that in front of other people. Reddit, am I the asshole for feeding my cat earwax? I mean, no. As long as it's not bad for the cat, then absolutely not.

She's not tricking the cat. The cat literally told her this what I want by going through the garbage can. Is there a picture of it? Yeah, so when you post stories related to your pet, you're supposed to pay what's called a pet tax. So it means like you basically, in order for people to engage,

or their reward for engaging with your post is they need to see your pet. So it's like my dog ate a pair of Gucci shoes. Am I the asshole for not replacing them? Yes, in that case you would be because they're Gucci. But you're expected to story that we didn't do that online but we talked about it and I was like, it's coming folks, it's coming.

But you're expected to pay a pet tax. So the person attached a picture of the cat licking the stuff off their finger. It's pretty cute. I mean, the cat has her little hands. The cat has its little mittens, like with white paws just wrapped around. It's actually really cute.

It's pretty cute. I actually had a cat that we found somewhere. I don't remember if it was in my barn. I feel like it was in my barn at my farm. And the mom ran off or the cats were freezing to death so we took the kittens in. And this cat, because it lost its mom so young, it liked to suck on your finger.

And it was just the cutest little thing. Like in the same way, it would wrap its little paws around your finger and just sit there and sucking. And it literally made the sucking noise like a baby would on a bottle. Cutest fucking thing. I love when cats, or I love when people call when cats are kneading and they're like doing that with it.

When people call it kneading the dough. Yeah, yeah. The biscuit factory, like so cute. I do, yeah, I've had some great cats. I do enjoy cats. Wait, pause. I actually want to bring this up because I'm going to look for what it's called.

Five minutes later. This TikTok is called Mr. Milo, Mr. Milo the Chonk. And literally, like you guys got to follow it if you're entertained by cats at all. Mr. Milo the Chonk. Why am I picturing the cat from one of those Adam Sandler movies? His name was Meatball, he was the calendar cat

that was absolutely massive. That's the cat I'm picturing right now. Oh my God. Let's see. So basically like, he'll show you. Oh yeah, he's a chunky boy. No, it's the funniest thing ever because this just reminds me of this.

Like cats can be so particular. Again, like I feel like I notice more particular of cats than dogs being particular about like what they eat. So this cat is obsessed with water bottles. Like it needs to have, have you seen this? Yeah, he tastes test all the fancy waters. He actually hates Dasani, which makes sense because they add salt in there to make you super thirsty.

He goes through you guys and he sniffs. He's a bougie bitch. He literally sniffs each one of them and then he goes and he drinks only the two most expensive. Then when she does just like the two most expensive another time, he goes back and forth, sniffs them, thinks about it, and then does the most expensive.

And then he'll push the waters away that suck, like knock them over. And she does this with other things too. Like she did this with grass fed chicken versus like another type of like cheap chickens. Cat is genius. And he goes and sniffs both of them and literally only eats the grass fed.

And it's not like he eats that first and then goes back. Nope, he won't even look at it. And then she'll put it by his foot and he's like disgusted by it and pushes it away. Like get this. I'm like, this cat is like. Fuck away from me. Like this is like the cat version of like ratatouille.

Wow, yeah. I mean, it's kind of like me in a store. You could put two pairs of shoes in front of me. They'd look identical and I would pick the most expensive ones. I have the most expensive taste at my own demise because I'm a broke ass bitch, but it's so funny, I'm the opposite.

I only buy cheap stuff though. I'm thrifty. I only buy stuff like I'm- You're a thrifty. Forever 21, Zara Sale Rock. Like that's my vibe right now based on my bank account. So for anyone who doesn't know, I don't know if Morgan has mentioned this

in another episode with one of our other friends, but she is so crafty. It's insane. Like she can take anything and make it into something. Like her entire room is just like crafts that she's done to create her room to look so cool. Which is, I love that aspect. And it's funny because I didn't know

that that was like actually a Pisces attribute, but it actually is and she's a Pisces. Interesting. Yeah, which was so funny to me. But I mean, unrelated, whether it has anything to do with when you were born or not. You definitely are so- I know how to work tools.

Yeah. Oh, she's so crafty. It's crazy. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. Shout out to you. Well, you know, to each their own, cats like expensive water, cats like earwax.

You just let the cats live. Morgan likes expensive shoes. Morgan can't buy the expensive shoes. Unfortunately, someday, up next, am I the asshole for inconveniencing my sister by not letting her lost dog in my car to drive back home? My sister and her family have a couple dogs and last week they lost one.

Their golden retriever, Cairo, he just disappeared one afternoon and they weren't sure what happened to him. Tried looking around the neighborhood, but he was nowhere to be seen. Anyways, I was on my way back home from the gym yesterday when I saw a dog that looked like Cairo next to this bench with a guy.

I got out and called for him and he came running almost immediately, a bit dirty, but otherwise still his good old self. Asked the guy if it was his dog and he said he just found him here. Strange thing is that he didn't have his collar, but it was definitely him. To make triple sure,

I took a picture of him and sent it to my sister, who also confirmed that this was Cairo and asked me to take him to her house for her. The only problem with that is that I have a rather strict no dog policy in my car. I'm not okay right now. I'm so upset. I'm so upset.

Is she serious? Oh my God. I'm dying. Is she serious? Apparently. This is hurting my heart right now. Yeah. But is this the end or what else you got?

I only, so they're talking about the car here. I only got it last year and I had nothing at all to try to cover the seats. Oh my God. To avoid them getting dirty. So I told my sister I couldn't, but said I'd wait for her or her husband there with Cairo. Okay, that's better at least.

Until they came. I thought she was just gonna be like, found him, drive away. Yeah. Oh God. Okay, I'm more calm now, but still ridiculous, but go on. She really didn't like that plan

and kept asking me to just take him to their house since they're both at work. I said I didn't mind waiting a bit and the call ended. Five minutes later, she called again, asking if I was still there or if I dropped him off. Said no, and she hung up. Then after 15 minutes, she came, picked him up and left without saying a single word to me.

Late last night, I guess she finally boiled over and called to complain about what a shitty guy I am for making her leave work. Why do I keep thinking of this different gender? I'm picturing a girl. Okay, so this is a guy. This is a dude. It just helps when I'm painting a picture

and then all of a sudden I get the wrong gender and I'm like. I mean, there's non-binary people too though. That's true, but I want to know what they want to go by. You're just having a mental image. I'm just like, yeah, I don't have to picture as much as I can. Yeah.

So late last night, I guess she finally boiled over and called to complain about what a shitty guy I am for making her leave work to get Cairo when I could have just dropped him off, causing a big inconvenience for no reason. I honestly didn't mind waiting for however long until either of them came, but Cairo in my car was a definite no.

Damn. Am I the asshole? I mean, I personally think that, yeah, but like I also don't think that she's that, or sorry, he, God damn it. I also don't think that he's that big of an asshole. Like, okay, he waited. Like I thought that if he, I thought he left

and was just like, I found the location. Go get him. Here, I dropped a pin, bitch. Yeah, literally. Then I was just gonna be like, I'm sickened, but at least he waited. Even though it's just, it's so snobby in my opinion, it's like. Yeah.

I mean, it's an inconvenience for sure. But also he found the dog and they should be really grateful and really happy. Yeah, so. Get excited that your dog is found. Exactly. Also, we don't know what kind of car this is. I'm a car junkie, I love cars. So I mean, if this was a brand new Audi R8,

I'm sorry, like I wouldn't put a, like this dog has been on the streets and he was with some random man without a collar, dirty. Like, I mean, I wouldn't put this dog in my $150,000 car. So granted, we don't know what this person's driving, but a new car, they worked hard for it, I'm assuming like cars are fucking expensive.

And if they don't have anything to cover the seats, like, yeah, but at the end of the day, could have put the dog in the car, then washed the seats. But I also like, I think that my mind got kind of like caught up too, because I peeked over at the thing and I saw that it said that the person was labeled an asshole. So I think that I was just like, yeah. They were.

The overall vote on this was, you're the asshole. But like, I don't think that they're that big of an asshole because when you were telling the story and I peeked over and saw the asshole rating, I was thinking that like, they literally just left the dog and that would, that made me so upset. No, that would be terrible. That would be terrible, but like.

That would be inexcusable. But he waited. So it's just like, yeah, he's been a snob and it's inconvenient, but it's like, it's so exciting that the dog is found. And it's like, if that were me, I'd be a little bit irritated, but I would still just be like, this is my dog, my responsibility.

Like, you're doing a favor by waiting there. So yes, I would love if like, as my sibling, you would just kind of like, help me out a little bit more. But like, at the end of the day, you found my dog. I'm very grateful. You are taking your time to wait there with my dog. So I mean, it's a boundary they've firmly set to. And so I think, I think it's more of like a petty annoyance.

Like, instead of like her being like, you're an evil person. I keep saying evil. I don't know why. Like I keep on saying evil to be like, they're not evil. But I don't think that she should think that he's really that awful. But like, yes, like she could, she has always, she's ever read to be like, hey, like,

why couldn't you have just like kind of helped me out? Just bring my dog home and at work. Yeah, especially depending on, you know, how far they had to drive. Top comment, you're the asshole. Your sister's dog was missing and you wouldn't even bring him back to her. Oh, mind your precious car.

There is such a thing as soap and water to clean the car. Next comment, if I were the sister, I would just be super thankful my dog was found safely. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Seriously, I mean, your dog could have hit by a car, could be dead, could be stolen. You found your dog. Yeah, that's why I'm like, it's more of a petty annoyance,

not something that should be that big of a deal. No, I mean, if it was my dog, I would be like, just wait there, like I'd want to get to my dog as soon as possible. Right, exactly. Leaving work wouldn't even be an inconvenience because I would want my dog back. Exactly, same.

Like my dog used to run away all the time and go to Dairy Queen for treats. So yeah, he's a smart dog, he was a chunky little boy. But yeah, I mean, you're worried, you want your dog back. So yeah, I don't really think the asshole, I kind of disagree with the overhaul vote. Yeah, I think Sister took it a little too aggressively. Yeah, yeah, I'm...

Are you torn? No, I really don't think that he's an asshole because it's just like, if he left the dog, he would be done in my book, but like he didn't leave the dog. And it's just like, yeah, it's kind of like, for me, I can't see myself doing that same thing, but I also have a Toyota Corolla

and I'm not like very worried. So it's different. Like if I spent my hard earned money and I'm just like, that's my policy, then yeah, I probably would have a different view and it's not like, I mean, he waited. He said he didn't find waiting. Like, I don't know.

I think he would have probably waited all day. Yeah, I think he's fine. I think that it was just like, it's like a petty annoyance. Like I don't understand why the sister's annoyed, but like also not something that needs to be like drawn out in my opinion at all. No, you got your dog back. I would let that one go for sure.

It's a happy ending at the end of the day. Exactly. You can, yeah, move on. Yeah. Next one. If you've ever had to deal with a plumbing problem, you may have felt the pain of realizing you don't know any plumbers.

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Call anyourservices or schedule an appointment at anyourservices.com. No one helps more homeowners than any hour services. Very interesting. There's kind of a lot going on these days with like emotional support animals versus service animals and you know, new rules that you can't bring your emotional support duck on a plane

and things like that. Duck? Oh yeah, people have emotional support ducks. I thought you just misspoke. No ducks. Amazing. Haven't you seen the picture of the duck on the plane looking out the window?

No. It's adorable. I believe I have not seen that. So this one. Okay. Am I the asshole for refusing to let a patient bring in her emotional support horse? What?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. That sounds like a cartoon. It is real. And based on the title, asshole. I love little ponies. I work as a receptionist for a doctor's office. A few weeks ago, a patient came into the office with a small horse.

I wish this happened to me in the hospital. I was completely bewildered. I felt like my whole day, year life would be made. I was completely bewildered, particularly because the office is on the fourth floor and told the patient, respectively, that they cannot bring the horse into the office. The patient told me that it was an emotional support horse.

That feels like a fucking prank. I can't. It almost doesn't seem real, it's so weird. I almost thought they were joking and I told them that the doctor will not see them if they have a horse. The argument goes on for maybe another minute before the patient leaves in a huff.

I never consulted the doctor while this was happening but I have been there for a few years and I know her well enough to know she would have thought the whole thing was ridiculous. When she came out of her office later, I told her what happened and we shared a bit of a laugh about it. But it sounds like this lady was in the office already.

So does it mean that the horse was in there already too? Huh, I wonder if it took the elevator or the stairs. I can't, like, both of them just... Horses can go upstairs. I know, but like, both images just make me laugh. I brought my horse into my house once. The minute he walked in, he took a big shit on the floor. He's like, I don't like this place.

I don't know, my mom was so mad at me too. Fast forward to yesterday when we are informed that the office is being sued for discriminating against a woman with an emotional support animal. That's hilarious, but ridiculous. Ha ha ha. Apparently the horse was a legitimate emotional support horse.

I feel slightly bad for the patient but worse for the physician who finances the clinic and could get really hurt here financially. The physician and my husband both keep insisting it's not my fault, but I feel terrible. I get the feeling they're both just trying to be nice. So I am turning to anonymous strangers to tell me the truth about whether I was in the wrong here.

Yes, me, I think she was totally in the wrong. I think she's the asshole. No way. Yeah. So there is a difference between an emotional support animal and a service animal. There's so many different laws, regulations. We have what's called the ADA in America, the Americans with Disabilities Act.

So that kind of stipulates certain laws and regulations in regards to individuals with disabilities. There's other titles, like so fucking confusing. There's so much legal jargon and all this bullshit that goes into it. But service animals are dogs. Dogs that have jobs and are trained for specific functions. However, there is a certain clause

that mentions miniature horses. So miniature horses can also be service animals based on some qualifications, although sometimes not recognized by ADA, the big umbrella law. So it's so confusing, but miniature horses can be guide ponies for blind individuals.

And I mean, they're so fucking cute, you guys. Like if you saw, like literally Google, miniature horse, blind, just do that and you'll find it. But they have these fucking cute little booties. They're so fucking cute. So if I saw one of these, I'd be like, yeah, bring it in. Can I hold the horse while you're seeing the doctor? Like I would fucking cuddle that thing,

like bring the fucking horse, like you're the asshole. But here's the thing, Morgan, is that like, I agree. Like I agree that with all of that knowledge, she should be able to have her horse and her emotional support animal. I totally agree with that. But like at the same time, this person didn't know better. Like I would be so shook.

Like I wouldn't, I just wouldn't know what to do. Like I wouldn't- Like I wouldn't have let a dog come in. But that's kind of the same size. Right, but like we as a community, like we're used to that. Like the reason I'm laughing, the reason we're laughing, the reason you're like, I wish that would happen to me is

cause it doesn't happen often. No. And so it's just- Not as common. Like we don't, not everyone's gonna know how to handle it and they're just trying to do the right thing. She's just working like a random job

and she just is trying to do the right thing. And so I think that like to get the backlash of getting sued, that sucks. I mean, that's what, I mean, doctors have insurance, malpractice insurance, like still- The insurance rates go up. Like it's just, it's not good.

Like- It's not. And so I just think you should have, as an employee, you should have like been like, hey, do you have papers for the horse? Can you please send me the certificate? I'm just putting myself in that, in those shoes. Like I don't think I would have known what to do.

You know what I mean? Like- You would have just let the horse come in. You love animals. Well, I know that I would, but I'm just saying that like if I wasn't me. Like, I don't, like, I don't think that that's, I don't think that, that she's an asshole.

Like I think she was just trying to do the right thing. A biased horse gal. Right. But like if she knew about that clause, like that little clause- Well, and then she wouldn't have done that. She probably didn't know. I don't think I ever got to it. So like there is a difference

between a service animal and an emotional support animal. Like I said, service animals have the jobs. So there's a lot that's going on like with airlines now. They don't have to accommodate you for an emotional support animal. Like too many people abused it. See, that's exactly why I'm saying like, it seems like a joke because people like,

I've been in a fucking club before with a Chihuahua that like had like, I don't know, like Ray-Bans on and like some like blinged out outfit with some like expensive ass like dog shoes. It was wearing like all Gucci. And anyway, I was obsessed with that Chihuahua. Yeah. And I was like obsessed with the dog, of course. And then, and like this,

the kid who has the dog is just like a little fucker. You can just tell. I mean, obviously I don't know, but like he just seems like a little fucker. And one of like the bodyguards or a security comes over and was like, hey, what are you doing with that dog in here? And then the guy just goes, he's an emotional support animal.

So back off. And the security guard was like so mad, but he just backed off. Like you can't do anything. Yes. People have like abused this like, this aspect of like, because well, it was easier to like, not everyone abused it. Like, of course, of course not.

It's very important. Like you've said before, animals are seriously like so helpful in mental health. Yeah, they are. And so it's, it's a real thing. And so it's just like, obviously just with like, a lot of other things like Adderall, like people abuse that when they don't actually have anything.

People abuse anything. They abuse anything. So it's like, it just, it gets hard, but like I can understand like how you would almost think like you're getting your leg pulled when someone comes in with a horse. Yeah. Like you think someone's just messing with you.

It's not, it's not, you know, your average. Yes. Your average day. Yeah. And I, I truly think the way that she's writing and the way that, I mean, obviously I don't know her. She feels remorseful. Yeah. She feels remorseful. Obviously. It's not what she wanted.

She just thought she was doing the right thing. And so I don't think she's an asshole. I do think that if she knew this clause and knew that this was the thing like, and then she just didn't care, then she'd be an asshole. But I think she just didn't know. Yeah.

You hear like, I don't care. Fuck her. I love horses. No. I'm also staring at this huge horse painting in Morgan's room right now, just for reference. My boyfriend got it from me for a birthday surprise. I helped him set it up. Yeah. Thank you.

Thank you. I obviously love it. I don't know. I think, you know, I might have a little bit different of a background. One, you know, coming from healthcare and mental health settings and seeing different support animals and service animals and things like that. I spent some time at the Braille Institute

here in Los Angeles, like really familiarizing myself with like service animals and guide dogs and stuff like that. So I know that miniature horses can be guide ponies too. So I think having that knowledge, obviously this person was coolest. Yeah.

Who the fuck sees a guide horse? Like I haven't seen one in person. I did have one emotional support horse while working at a hospital here in Los Angeles. He came in and like visited patients and was like a therapy horse. Cutest little dude. Oh my God.

So I'm familiar with it, but the average person obviously not so much. So I get it. You can let this slide. She's not, again, a terrible person, but just like do a little more research and let the pony come in. Well, now we know.

Now anyone who's listening to this, we just saved them from getting sued potentially. Yeah. Top comment. Not the asshole. Maybe I'm an asshole for saying this, but choosing a horse as your emotional support animal screams, quote, I'm trying to find a business that denies us

so I can sue for discrimination. Ooh. I don't think that's the case. I know, but like honestly, because of the fact that I used to work at ADP and the amount of stories that I've heard about situations where companies have been sued because an employee just literally reads through the handbook

and they know that this company doesn't have HR put in place, it's like insane. For example, this is a really good example. So this is a true story too. There was a couple that hired someone to walk their dogs, or like I think they might have had like a dog walking service, but like it got so big that they needed to have help.

Okay. So anyway, they put out like an ad, whatever, like this person knew that they were vulnerable because they didn't have all their HR intact. So basically, Oh no. Yeah. So basically they hired her to dog walk

and like they didn't have like a good description in place. They didn't have her like sign anything or like at whatever it was, basically when she, maybe she signed some stuff, but it wasn't enough. Whenever she got the job, she said, I'm allergic and I can't walk dogs. And they said, that's why we hired you. And for whatever reason it was,

they weren't able to fire her because a lawful discrimination. Exactly. And so she would be able to sue them. And they did like a background check on her and found that she like sued like multiple different companies before. And she won.

She won. And so they just make her a secretary and call it a day. Yeah. And that's what they did. They had to create a new job for her to be a secretary so that they didn't get sued by her. And so it's just, I told that. Suing in America, like if you're in another country, I think you kind of laugh at how sue happy Americans are.

Like we sue everyone for anything. And you know, some are serious, some are frivolous. I mean, me and Justin were in I think Denmark and we were at this amusement park. And there was like a big gap between a railing. And we were like joking. We're like, this wouldn't happen at Disneyland because they'd get sued.

But it's just not like that. Yeah. You know, we're very. Alejandra like has this story that I'm sure she would share. So I don't mind sharing it. But basically she was driving a long time ago. And you know what I'm talking about, right? Yeah.

There was a biker that like, I don't know. She actually like hit the biker. She like maybe like tapped the end of the wheel. Regardless, the biker like. She gave her a little bump. She gave her a little bump and the biker fell off. And like all hundred came out and was freaking out and was like, how can I like what can I do to like help

and like everything. And she was like and everyone's surrounding. And she's like, she was for it. Like she was from like Europe or something. And she's like, I'm fine. Like you Americans are so quick to sue. Like and so quick to like what like whatever. And she's like, I'm fine.

Like comb down. Yeah. But but yeah, I don't know. I think that that's not like a crazy thing. It's it's probably not the case, but like you don't know that. Like I've heard so many stories of that being the case. Like people are literally they look to sue because they read they read the clauses

and they know what they can do. And they know that they can trick people for sure. I don't think that's that's why 80p sold so well. Because we're like, you want you don't want to get sued. Like here, take our HR. You quit there. We're not plugging. I know, but still in my veins.

Another comment. So they go, I thought that too. So if you're an asshole, so am I. I'm not even sure if horses can be easily trained to not poop everywhere. And if they can be, it's not common knowledge. They have little poop bags. People that just strap on.

OK, next comment, they can actually many horses are fairly common support animals. And the next comment. I've literally run into a person with an emotional support horse at a grocery store before. Yeah, emotional support horse. Yeah, and I got ponies are real. I'm down for it.

And I love this idea and I love this concept and I love that it's a thing. I'm just saying that like to get sued. Like when really, she didn't know any better. It's like that's that's a bit much for me. Yeah. Yeah. And then the next comment that I really like, many horses are sometimes used as service animal.

I'm glad you liked that one. Yes. But again, this woman, based on the post, introduced her little pony as an emotional support animal. Yeah. So if it was a service animal, then big problem. But a lot of the guidelines with the USA's these days are it's tough, tough world to navigate. Yeah, literally, figuratively, all that jazz. OK, this one.

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an appointment at any hour services dot com. Help with plumbing, maintenance and repairs is closer than you think. Call any hour services or schedule an appointment at any hour services dot com. No one helps more homeowners than any hour services. Oh, I thought I was going to get to read mine. I have one more and then you can have your your shot in the limelight. I know. I'm so excited. I, 19 female, killed a guy's 21 male pet by mistake.

OK, this is really bad. But basically, I went over to this guy's house. We had been speaking for a few months and we're planning on going on a date. So he goes to have a shower and I'm sitting on the sofa waiting. The next thing I know, a massive tarantula is crawling across the carpet in front of my feet. I'm startled because I have the biggest fear of spiders. And I'm kind of freaking out, but I gained the courage to throw one

of my sneakers at it, killing it. The guy comes out the bathroom, looks at the dead spider and starts having an anxiety attack or something. And at first I was like, it's fine. I killed it. And he starts going off at me because the spider was actually his pet. And it got out of its tank somehow. I'm confused and embarrassed.

And he ended up kicking me out. I genuinely liked this guy. We had the best conversations and now he's not talking to me. Someone, please help me fix it. I apologized, but he's continuously ignoring me. I feel really bad. This was a how many dates? Like this is just like a new, new type.

Yeah, it doesn't mention, but I it's it's. I can't really relate because. I can't imagine being so attached to a tarantula. Spiders apparently are like some of the best pets, I know. And that's why I'm saying, like, I feel for him so much because I feel so sad. Like I'm just saying, like, I it's hard for me. Like it's not even it's not even like that's hard for me.

I just I don't relate completely to, like. The detachment to a spider. Imagine it's your dog. Exactly, because at the end, at the end of the day for him, like, this is his pet, exactly. So it would be like someone killing your cat or someone killing your dog. Right. At the end of the day, it's like, this is his pet. Right. As you know, that's yeah.

That's exactly why, like, it broke my heart because, like, I. It's just like, I don't have, like, I've never had an attachment. I've never had been, like, introduced to a spider in a way that, like, I'm like, oh, my God, like, this is a pet to me. But, like, I know that they are and I know that people have those attachments and, like, really good, like, relationships with, like, with tarantulas. I know that they're actually pretty fucking cool. So, like, it breaks my heart for him because, like, I just I can't imagine.

And, like, if, like, you're if you have a pet that you absolutely loved and, like, and just seen that it's dead, like, it's honestly because of someone that you're talking to, like, oh, like, that would just break my fucking heart. So, like, I feel for him so much. And, like, honestly, I don't know if you can recover from that because I don't think you can. Yeah, I don't think you can. And it's not it's it's not like she's a horrible person. Like, it was an accident.

It was an accident. You didn't know he had a pet spider. Yeah, it was out walking across the floor. Like, I guess, first of all, but it doesn't matter. He's still traumatized. Like, so it's just like, I think you just need to move on. No, like, say your, like, biggest, like, sorrows and everything. Satinama Venmo for a new spider, which doesn't make it any better.

But, like, it's almost like that would almost be worse. If someone sent me, like, 30, because, like, you can adopt a cat for, like, 30 bucks. If someone was like, here's OK, that would be a slap in the face. Yeah, that's fucked up. They give away cats sometimes. Yeah, no, I. They do because otherwise they I know, I know, I know, I know. High school, that's why I'm just saying, like, if someone was just like,

hey, I'm sorry about your cat and Venmo me, like, because I thought I like when I adopted my cat in college, like, she was literally $30. If someone was like, hey, sorry about Sunny, like, here's $30. I would literally be like, fuck you, you're dead to me. No, and I, I, I don't know. Like, there, there isn't a way to really remedy this situation. I think it's kind of, well, you're doomed. It's so interesting that you bring this up, though, because I was with

one of my friends on Friday night and she, she adopted a dog recently. One of her friends just got a baby puppy. So she's talking about, like, the dog chronicles. And she said when she was over at her place, she said, like, could you grab my dog's medication in my purse and, um, and feed it to her? This is a puppy. Anyway, there was, there was like an envelope underneath the purse that had a pill in it.

She gave the dog drugs. She gave the dog Adderall. Adderall. It was like 25 milligrams of Adderall. The dog needed to go to the emergency or immediately. Like they were saying, like, it's a miracle that this dog is alive. Like, it's probably, it was, oh, it was like insane. Like it was so scary.

And so, and she just said, don't ever, like when it comes to your animal, take care of your animal. Don't. Yeah. And it's like, obviously, like my friend, who that happened to, like, she was, it was, she was terrified and like felt fucking horrible. But she was the one that fed the dog, the pill, her friend's dog, the pill. Cause she was like, can you give my dog the medication?

It's in my purse. Her friend shouldn't have asked her to do that. Yeah. But like, but no matter if your friend asks you to do it or not, like you feel so much guilt for sure. Thank God the dog lived because that would be, but now the vet bill, who's going to pay for the vet bill? I don't know.

I didn't ask her, but the friend might be like, Hey, you fed my dog the wrong pill. Uh, can you give me $3,000? That's, that would be a emergency. Yeah. Yeah. And for something like that, I didn't even ask her that thousands. What, what, what would, like, do you think it'd be fair to ask the friend to like help out or do you think it would just be like, I, I personally

like me in that situation, I've been like, no, I'm not comfortable doing that. Like it's your dog. You give your dog the medication. Yeah. So I just, I think it's weird one as a pet owner, you would, I think I've mentioned this before, but I really, it really, really, really, really, really pisses me off when you as a pet owner try to pass off your obligations as a caretaker of that animal on other people to your dog, your cat, your tarantula,

your whatever, yeah, fucking parakeet, take care of it. Like it's not anyone's responsibility. So at the end of the day, it's like, she should have given the dog the medication, but I don't know. Like some people might see, it seems like an easy thing. It's such an easy mistake. Like it is. And I just think she did another in her purse, you know, for the dog.

Like she thought it was obvious. She didn't even, she probably forgot there was an Adderall underneath the purse, like in an envelope, you know? Well, I mean, this is, I think this is kind of similar to like, you have a friend that had a dog and you guys went to another friend's house that had a dog. And her dog got into something and got really sick and she took it to the emergency vet and that dog ended up having a crazy expensive bill. And she didn't reach out to that friend and was like, Hey, my dog got into

something at your house, send me the $3,000. It's just tough, but at the end of the day, like she didn't reach out and ask, you know, your friend for money. Right. And I think, you know, I've seen other stories. Like if your dog attacks another dog, like, yeah, you should pay for that other dog's bill, of course, but I don't know. I think this one, I don't think this girl's going to be able to come back from this.

I, I don't know how expensive tarantulas are, but like, I would try to remedy the situation, but that's just me. But again, it could be offensive. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, his, his pet's dead and you kind of just need to move on. Yeah. I just think that like, even if he's like, yeah, I'll give you a second chance. He's just going to look at her and just like cringe.

Yeah. Cause it's like, she still killed his pet at the end of the day. Yeah. So I, I would just let this one go. It's not like you guys got in too deep. Like if he, he decides to reach back out, like great. Like you guys can take it from there, but like I wouldn't push it. This is just a delicate situation.

It's just unfortunate. It's not like you guys have been together for a really long time. Like you guys are just dating and you liked him and yeah, it sucks. But like, if he's not down, you have to respect that. Yeah. Uh, one of the top comments, not entirely your fault. He should have probably told you he owned a pet spider. Why would he not say that he lets run on the loose?

Like, why would he not say that? It got out of its cage. Oh yeah. But still that was probably his friend, not just a pet. Probs loved the little guy. Yeah. Hell, might have even been a big reason for him to get out of bed in the morning. Look how this year has been.

Your best option is to just stop trying to contact him at all. I agree. If he wants to ever talk to you again, he'll be the one to initiate it. Yeah. Next comment. Good story for the kids though. Next comment. Not their kids though.

Yeah. Okay. Is that the last one? That is the last one I have. So your turn. Okay. Cool. Let me grab this one.

I'm just going to get comfy here. I found a post that I thought would be pretty. I'm literally so fucking cozy. Maybe I should do this more often. Pretty relevant to the animal theme. So caption. I accidentally trained my cat to be an eating disorder support pet. Okay.

So I'm feeling guilty today. I've had this cat for three years now. My ED got significantly worse about two and a half years ago. ED meaning eating disorder. Yeah. At first I didn't even realize what she was doing. I had a problem with purging for a long time. She would get between me and the toilet demanding attention and fuss while I cried.

She would sniff my face and lick it, making it impossible to purge. If I locked her out of the bathroom, she would meow so loudly that I'm sure the neighbors heard. I finally managed to stop purging last year after recovering and relapsing a few times. The lockdowns have been really difficult and not being able to go to the gym hasn't helped. A couple of months ago, my cat stopped eating. She got so skinny, she was really underweight.

Vets couldn't find anything wrong. I hadn't changed her food. There was no reason for it. I'm not sure how it happened. One day I decided to have breakfast too. So I sat down with my food and put her bowl next to me. And she finally ate. I did the same at lunchtime.

And again, she actually ate the same the next day and the next. We've been doing it for a while now. She's still underweight, but she's getting there. No, I don't want to cry today. I wake up at seven a.m. every day. We have breakfast at nine at nine 30. I need those couple of hours to build up to breakfast.

I slept really badly last night. I woke up at nine 10 and I just couldn't do it. Lunch is at 12. I just couldn't eat. I put Lily's food down by me. She stared at it and stared at me. She stared at me again and stared at her bowl and then walked away. I'm heartbroken that I couldn't do it for her.

She needed me to eat and I let her down. She, uh, got larned and I'm getting like, what the hell? Choked up. We're going to have to find another fucking happy one after this. This is supposed to be a lighthearted episode. She finally ate at lunchtime. I had a sandwich.

She kept glancing at me, pausing for me to continue before she would eat more. People say we don't deserve animals. I don't deserve this cat. She's saving my life quite literally. And I don't think anyone appreciates or understands how incredible that is. Wow. It is also absolutely terrifying. I don't deserve this cat.

We don't deserve animals in general. They are such magical little creatures that truly can save us. And they're just everything. So wow, I think that's the most incredible story. I think it's really one thing that's really, really interesting about cats is they mimic you. So the fact that the cat only eats if she's eating is the cat mimicking her. Like I've seen a lot of videos where if you're trying to work out or like do yoga

or whatever, your cat will always like come under you, like getting your way. But if you get your cat, its own little yoga mat and put it next to you, it'll just lie there and mimic you. I've never seen that. That's so cute. Yeah. And I've seen it with everything from computers. If you're sitting at a desk, working on your computer, your cat will come up,

walk across your keys, just annoy the shit out of you. But if you get your cat, its own little mini computer, it'll literally sit there and like work at its fucking computer, like play at it, sit on it, like do what cats do, but cat mimic. Yeah. So that's incredible. Like to just, I can't even imagine like having that struggle and the cat like she said, like it's literally saving her.

That's like the perfect example of an emotional support animal used in an appropriate way. Yeah. It's just like, it's amazing. It touches, it touched my heart. I was most are crying. And then you're, you're a fucking choking up as you're reading it. I'm like, I swear to God, if Lauren cries, I'm going to lose it.

If like, you don't understand, like the first time I read it, I was in tears. You were bawling. Yeah. I'm going to cry now, just fucking talking about this shit. Oh, but, but, um, yeah, I don't know. It's, it's, it's remarkable. I, we truly don't deserve animals. Yeah.

They're amazing. I was just looking at some of the comments. They're all just like really loving and caring and supportive. I love that. Yeah. Absolutely. I love that. But it's just like, it feels like, I don't know, it just feels like almost

like a higher power of like a gift. Like, even though like, you know, you say cats like mimic and like that, like cool, like aspect of it almost feels like, it almost feels bigger picture. There's a bigger, like just like picture that's like saving her. Like it just feels so beautiful. I mean, yeah, like down to a simple matter. Okay. Like cats mimic, but at the end of the day, like this cat, it didn't always do that.

Yeah. And she's had it for a couple of years. So it's like, yeah, this cat recognizes that she needs her. I mean, there's dogs that do similar, you know, things and save their people or save a drowning kid, you know, whatever it is. Animals at the end of the day, like, yeah, they're incredible. They do save us. I, um, you might want to cut this out because it's a weird story, but like,

I don't know if you've ever heard about the dolphin, the dolphin study. So, uh, basically they like, they not like locked a woman in, but like, they've, Oh God, you've told me this. Yeah. Have I told you this through the podcast? She had sex with the dolphin. Yeah. Well, that's what I thought because that's what I was kind of, uh, told just

like it briefly, like in a, a meme type way of a storytelling, like that, like this woman like had relations with a dolphin and had sex with the dolphin. Oh God. I was scared, but no, she's, she's a, she's a researcher and like dolphins are the only other, um, I think animals to like get pleasure from sex. Um, or it's something like that. And so other than like humans, and so, um, that's why you hear like dolphins have like raped humans before or like tried to is because they,

I've heard that before. Yeah. Yeah. And, and so scary thought. Right. I know. And, but like they're the, the best, like there's the sweetest kindness. Like they're so awesome.

They save humans all the time, but like apparently they're like one of the only, or if it's not the only like animal that like actually enjoys like sex. So, um, whenever she was studying this dolphin, they put her in this dolphin and like the same like area and she like stayed in this place for, I don't know, months on end. And so it was one of those things where as she was like learning and studying the dolphin, like the dolphin was like looking for like needed like a sexual release in a way.

And so she started giving the dolphin handjobs. Yeah. And like, which is like super fucked up, but in her mind, how, how, how do you even initiate that? I don't remember what in your mind makes you think I want to touch this dolphin. I think the dolphin was like, like, it was like, I think it was a combination of all of her research that research that she did. Was she a marine biologist?

Yeah. Yeah. She was. And like, cause when I first, when I first heard the story, like, I thought, I thought that it was just so messed up when I read into it. Like it, it still is messed up, but it felt a little less like messed up. It felt like, it felt like she was genuinely doing this to like, to like provide comfort to the dolphin because the dolphin was alone.

Like, and dolphins are used to being together. They're her, her, no, I don't even, pod. They live in pods. Yeah. So it was like, she was trying to like give this dolphin, like what the dolphin would get like in, like, because it was for months, just isolated with her. And that was based off, yeah. And that was crazy.

Right. Isolated. Yeah. Humans, dolphins. Right. And so that was based, it was like an isolated study or something like that. Like I might be getting it wrong, but I didn't just read this. It was a long time ago.

But anyway, this, this is why I'm saying you might want to cut it. The, they took the dolphin after this study and they put the dolphin in like, um, back with the, the dolphins. Yes. But like in a zoo. Oh. So the dolphin was back with other dolphins, but in a zoo and the dolphin killed itself.

Yeah. The dolphin was so depressed because he became so attached to the woman that that was his companion, that he dolphins, they need to come back up for air. So the dolphin drowned itself and like, it's just, it's insane how much animals can relate to human emotion. Yeah. And just empathize empathize and attach to humans. Like it's truly insane.

And that's why that animals have emotions. Yeah. I, I believe that they have feelings. They have emotions you, you cannot tell me otherwise. Yeah. Crazy fucked up experiment that they should not have put that dolphin through. I know. Like there's certain experiments that humans have done.

It was heartbreaking. They just violate so many different laws and moralities, ethics, whatever. But like, it's hard because we're also trying to learn more about them. We are, and we don't, and like no one, no one predicted that the animal was going to commit suicide, study that in their natural habitat. It's no different than like looking at elephants and if elephants lose again, this is like my biggest thing that animals have feelings. Animals are so empathetic, intuitive.

Yeah. Just the elephants are extremely empathetic. Yes. So elephants, if they've lost a baby or like a loved one, they'll actually bury it. They're the only animal that provides funerals. Yeah. They're the only one.

One of the only, at least, I don't know. I'm, no, I'm pretty sure that, I mean, the only, we could fact check. Yeah, exactly. Like we're kind of like spitting out things that we've like read, but like, don't like take us for like a hundred percent. Again, just our hot takes. Yeah. We're never getting you, no, and we're never giving you like solid advice,

instructions, like this is just us spitting the shit. But elephants are very, very emotional. So they'll have funerals. And then they also will come back on the anniversary of that death and have like another like little remembrance ceremony. They'll, they'll touch the bones and they'll, they'll just be there. And it's like, first of all, how do they have that concept of time to go back after, you know, close to a year and what animal, like you think of animals

being these like survivalistic, you know, beans and just trying to, you know, make it out there. Like, oh, people saying dogs, dogs only like you because you feed them. Yeah. No, like dogs are emotional, little things full of feelings and love. And this is why I know. And elephants actually save other animals. Like they didn't know that's crazy.

There's a lot of, a lot of instances where like a, I don't know, like a cat stuck in his tree. I can't, that was a tongue twister for me. A cat stuck in a tree. Like an elephant will like raise its trunk and like to help the cat down. That's so cute. Yeah. Like elephants have been known to save other animals and dolphins do the exact

same when they say people to save people from shark attacks. That's absolutely crazy. All the reasons animals are amazing, amazing. And why we don't serve them. And also, okay, one last thing. I'm trying to end it. I know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

You can, you can cut it out. You can end it there. But, um, but no, one last thing. So, um, dolphins actually, um, sharks are terrified of dolphins. That's good to know. Yeah. Sharks are terrified of dolphins because dolphins, because they travel in pods and because they're so fast, what they do, they slam into them, they slam into

their gills and they will kill the shark. So like, that's why, like, if a shark is about to attack a human, like that, like, I don't know, like a surfer that got hurt or something and dolphins are there. They will circle the shark and the shark just knows, like, fuck, I need to get out of here because the dip. Yeah. And it's just crazy because they're like these. Tappy little innocent things that and sharks, you know, we look at it as like,

Oh, like, could be everyone's so scared of sharks, but sharks aren't. No, they're not. They're not even that aggressive. I went swimming with sharks. It was actually released. I was scared. Not as scared as bungee jumping though, but here I am. I won't go skydiving or do anything like that unless I'm terminal.

You don't mean that. I'm going to make you go. We needed to do a skydiving trip. I won't do it. You will. No, you would. Not even if there's a little pony at the bottom bungee jumping. You said after I bungee jumped that, like, you would have considered it after

you watched me go considered. It's just not, I don't think it's in the cards for me. Yeah. A stage, you know, a stageable cancer will come back and talk. Um, okay. Well, on that note, animals, animals, love them. They're amazing. There are going to be some deep dives and, you know, our typical off tangent chatter

going up on our Patreon and our YouTube membership. Profile, um, so look out for those. And if you're interested, we'll see you there, but otherwise until next time, until next time, bye guys. Bye. Gotta walk the dogs, school drop off meetings from 10 to three, take kids to soccer practice, then there goes the extra time for a jog. That's okay.

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