Two Hot Takes - 139: Pretty Peculiar..

Episode Date: November 2, 2023

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Lauren (and Justin for a story)! Sometimes things are just too peculiar to wrap our heads around.. and a lot of these stories fit into that box. Who would have thought carrot cake could start a family war? Or that your ex might agree to give you another baby via donation? Thoughts on these peculiar problems?! Checkout our engagement video!! https://youtu.be/kWwQFgxPTJc Our PO Box!! Two Hot Takes. 5042 Wilshire BLVD. #470. Los Angeles, CA 90036 Bonus Content on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Our SubReddit to Submit YOUR Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes Partners: NextEvo: NextEvo.com  Promo Code: THT to get 25% off! Buffy: Get 25% off your first order at https://www.buffy.co with code THT. Thank you to Buffy for supporting the channel! Beam: shopbeam.com/THT Promo code: CYBER Lume: Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with Promo Code THT at lumepodcast.com!

You begged for more. So now, Blink 182 are coming again one more time. Live at Roger Center, August 15th. With special guests, Alexis on fire, and Pierce the Veil. Get tickets now at ticketmaster.ca. Blink 182, the brand new album, One More Time, is available everywhere now, visit blink 182.com. Okay, my lovely people down there. I like forget that we're recording. I know. Us three haven't caught up in a while, and we haven't talked.

There's so much commotion going on since the proposal that I haven't been able to really like, I know. Talked to you guys, so it's just true. It just feels so good. It was like a huge build up and then just to really like, I know. Talk to you guys, so it's just. True. It just feels so good. It was like a huge build up and then just nothing. Yeah, I know. I haven't seen you like, you guys. Oh, since.

That's right. We had the morning sauna after. Yeah, that was it. And the live show, but the live show was, can you agree the live show was kind of strange? It was a different crowd. It was different. The fans, our fans were incredible,

but I think it's just kind of different when you have a live show at like a bar. And sometimes you get some hecklers. Yeah. But we're all in the days too. Like we all weren't fully in the year. We were coming down from the engagement. Yeah.

Yeah. For sure. Which, loud. Which last week, it hasn't been recorded yet, but for those listening last week would have been the engaged and enraged episode. Oh God, this is like inception. I feel like I'm time traveling. We are time traveling.

The engagement video with what we just recorded a few minutes ago, you talking about it, will have been out. And now we are on this new episode, which Lauren, you get the privilege of choosing the theme today. Okay, what are your choices? What are your choices? What are you? Okay, so we have, you got grit. So these are stories. And either way, the theme that you don't pick will come out because I have invested a lot of time into picking them. They're good stories, either one. But you got grit or pretty peculiar.

You got grit, our stories where there's some tension or things going on, but someone involved in the story has grit. They're sticking to their guns, they're holding their ground, they're saying, F you to the man or whoever they're dealing with, or there's pretty peculiar, which are some weird, sometimes crazy problems, and you just kind of hear it and you're like,

this is pretty peculiar. This is odd. Piculia. This is strange. This is wild. Piquilier. This is strange. This is wild. Wait, so the first one was just grit. And then you look like a facorious. You got grit.

You got grit. Or pretty peculiar. I put tip peculiar. I don't, I wanna say grit. What do you think, Justin? Grit reminds me of like sandpaper. So you're in a sandpaper mood. Sandpaper mood, yeah, I mean abrasive.

Yeah. abrasive. I know, I mean, I was telling you guys, like I honestly like, I would love to be more of a bitch. So, I just, you know, I feel like- Here's your time. If it comes between me peculiar, wow, that's a hard word for me. Becule. Let's go, Lauren.

Let's get it. I'm going to say I will say pretty peculiar. Does I think it gives you more chances to pop off. If you're feeling spicy, take as the show name states, if you're feeling spicy, I'd go pretty peculiar. You got grit. Has some that are a little more serious within the theme.

Oh, so. So do you want hot takes? So much pressure. Or do we want just acceptable takes? Everyone at home right now is screaming what they would want. Yeah, Lauren, it's on you. That's fucked up.

You can't do that. Just so you pick, you pick, it's on you. I'm not. No, I'm just not on my fast. I'm kind of a fire on the wall. It's no pass. No, you're staying in, you chose to stay in. And so, yeah, it's your choice.

You laugh because you know. I mean, I like spicy tech, so let's go peculiar. Okay, peculiar. Right, it is a weird, peculiar word. It is a weird word. It's a peculiar word. I wonder how British people would pronounce it because after working with British people, I feel like I pronounce everything wrong or weird.

I feel like they would be peculiar. Oh, it's not proper. Yeah. It was so funny when I was listening to the British episode that you have and you go, I just don't, I don't ever remember if it's vague or bog. And whenever you said that, I lost it because I'm the exact same. But here and you say it, made me realize how dumb it sounds.

It's not bog. No chance. How do we do that? Why do we both do that? I don't know. Oh, and also just so you know, it might be a Minnesota thing because when I was in Washington recently,

Brian literally looked at Lurison, and goes, oh my God, you do it too. She says, what is it that we say, ruin? Yes, she says, ruin. Yeah. What happened to all you? I don't know. I love it, I love it.

I love it. You small little hands. Yeah. Look at that big ray on there too. Oh my God, I am a monster. Yeah, more and look at you. You should play piano. Look at that. Your hands are basically the same size as just that.

That's crazy. Oh no, I got it. I got it. Yeah. Okay, shall we friends? Yeah, let's do it. Let's dive in. Woo. Okay, so this first one, it is coming from AITHH, another version of AMI the asshole.

It is titled, AMI the asshole, for telling my mom and aunt they can't be at the hospital for the birth of our daughter over a cake recipe. My 40-mail, very pregnant wife, 36-female, is one of the purest women I know. She doesn't have a mean or malicious bone in her body. My mother and my aunt are second generation immigrants. As my grandmother and grandfather met in a concentration camp during World War II, and were liberated and came to America.

Because of this, they have developed a close bond. Both my maternal grandparents have long been deceased. Now, down to the story. My wife bakes on the side, and my family asks her to bake for them all the time. They pay her and they get their baked goods. My mom and aunt have asked my wife to recreate my grand mous carrot cake recipe on many occasions. My wife has done this down to perfect detail, and even my mom and aunt have said it might be better than my grandma's.

Now, down to what caused me to blow up. My aunt was having a birthday party at her work and asked my wife to bake two dozen cupcakes. After the party, my aunt said, they were a hit and probably your best batch yet. But did you change something in the recipe? They were lighter and even more moist than the last couple of times you made them for us. My wife responded, quote, nope, followed the recipe on my fridge as I always do.

Aunt, no, I know my mom's cupcakes and you have made them perfectly before. This time you had to have used a different recipe or ingredient. Did you use cake flour this time? Wife. No. This is even the same bag of flour I used the last time. Aunt.

No, I know you did something this time. I know my mom's recipe, and this is not her recipe. I told my wife to drop it as it was going nowhere and was starting to irritate her. My mom texted us later, quote, what did you do to the cupcakes? We wanna know so that the next time we make them, we know what to do to make them taste just as good.

My wife responded with everything she had said before. I told my mother to drop it, that she just read the recipe and went with it as she always does. A few days later, I caught my wife staring at the recipe on the fridge, reading the recipe and asking out loud what she possibly could have done different this last go around. I could see she was upset, so I messaged my mom and on that they needed to apologize to her because they ultimately were calling my wife a liar. This is so dramatic. Pretty peculiar, right? Yeah. I forgot that that's what the theme we're going with and I was like this is

fucking weird. And then I was like, oh yeah. My mom, quote, we didn't say those words. That's rude and upsetting. You would think we're calling her a liar. Apologize to us. During this back and forth, my wife had made the comment to me that she would be okay if they weren't at the hospital during the birth of our child. After a little bit of back and forth of me being what I feel gaslighted by them saying they are not calling my wife a liar, I said, quote, well, until you can apologize to her for calling her a liar, don't visit the hospital when she gives birth. We are not telling you the day we're going in for delivery until you do. What's going on? This set a chain of events off in my family. My sisters agree with me, but my mom, aunt, and their friends have reached out saying,

I crossed a line. Even my wife has said that it's a little extreme, but when she's asked to talk to me about it, she says she does respect the decision. So Reddit, am I the asshole? I keep being told it's petty to have this much of a blowup over a cupcake recipe, but I feel that it's disrespectful to my wife. She says she's not that upset, but as I said above,

I catch her reading the recipe on the fridge and talking to herself about it throughout the days. I don't want my mom and on's behavior to continue through to our daughter. And I fear that they may do something similar to her down the line. This is how they've always been. That's what I was just about to say. I was like, this sounds like it's a deeper rooted issue

for him that he's experienced with his family before, because this is silly. Like it's just weird and it's silly. Like it shouldn't be that big of a deal. However, if it's something like he just said that it's so deep-rooted for him that they've always been like this and it's really frustrating him

and he's trying to set a boundary, it's like he's gotta start somewhere, you know? And it's like, I don't know that they owe her an apology, but like it also was weird how much they wouldn't stop like how ending her Like it I feel like you mentioned it like five different times that they were like what is this? So it's like it is kind of it is strange. It's like she said she told you guys what like Yeah, like so it's just like why don't you stop like you left and you still texted her unless it was just being playful and Just be like what did you why was that so good? Like, you left and you still texted her. Unless it was just being playful and just being like,

what did you, why was that so good? You were amazing, you're such a good, like you're amazing baker or whatever. Like, then it is weird. It's like why were they hounding her unless it was being playful, but it sounds like it kind of was though, don't you think? They were like, they literally were asking,

it wasn't like a, what did you change in my mom's recipe? It was, what did you change so we can make it? Because it's so good, yeah. Yeah, right. And then on top of it, her looking at the, that's something I would do not because I'm offended, but just because I'm like, did I do something different? The fuck did I do?

Like I could see myself reading off the recipe. Yeah. I mean, like, what did I do? Like, did I do something different? Because if I did, I want to know. I want to different? Like, because if I did, I want to know. I want to know. Yeah, I want to know. Yeah, so it's like, I don't really, I don't get it.

However, that's why I'm saying it sounds like it's some type of personality that they have, or some type of issue that he's had in the past that it's reminded him of and it's triggered him. I could see that. Yeah, because otherwise it doesn't really add up to me. What do you think, Justin? That's the only reason. That's the only way I can see this making sense because I've got to say this is probably the least

contentious problem I've ever heard read to me on this show, where it's kind of like, wait, what was the problem again? Like what are we the asshole? Who's the like why are we even asking this? It's over. Okay. But this is kind of why I really don't like texting a lot of the time is because so much of it is yeah context, but a lot of conversation is tone and the way it's phrased. And so the same sentence, no matter what it says, can be taken completely different, or it can be taken a million different ways through text.

Yeah. Versus, yeah, was it like, no, like you definitely mess with this recipe, tell us because you're withholding information from us and you really want to know. They're lying to us, yeah. And you really want to know. And that's a disrespect to our mom who used to make these. Yeah, that's a disrespect to her versus the other side of it is, no, you definitely did something.

That's how I'm in the change. Yeah, because you changed something I know you did and we'd love to know what it is. And then she's like, no, she's normal, right? And the conversation said, no, I don't think I did. And they're like, no, you definitely did. You're just playing with us. So there's those two different variables, right? Which all now culminates into her, probably like you said, just looking out of curiosity at the at the recipe on the fridge, being like, am I crazy? Did I forget? And now the husband is coming in being triggered because he's like, am I crazy? Did I forget? And now the husband is coming in being triggered.

Because he's like, this is emotionally affecting my wife, which I will give him props for being there so heavily for her, which is refreshing to see on the show. But given that, I feel like it's all a giant miscommunication, Everything's being taken out of context because I don't see enough weight from what we've been given in this story. To say, yeah, don't bother being at the hospital because we're slowly starting to cut you guys off. It seems like an aggressive punishment

for the actions at hand. That's why I was so confused by this one. But I will say, I made this cake. I tried it. OP posted the recipe and me and my grandma made this cake. I didn't connect those dots. Yep. Until.

Just now, huh? Because you tried it. I didn't get to say it. Didn't they? Was this the day that all hunters stayed into? Yeah. So this is full circle, everything. It is coming full circle.

So my grandma, we called my grandma on the way up to the loo just in red the recipe after her. She came over, I was in the middle of a nap, so I didn't help my grandma, but I influenced. She didn't even wake me up. She goes, no, Morgan, I wanted to let you sleep. So she didn't wake me up from a nap. I was so jet lagged from Paris. And so my grandma made it, but she left it for me to frost. And so you know, Alejandra comes over the proposal days happening. She frosts it. And we tried it.

And Alejandra literally said, this is the best carrot cake I have ever had. I remember saying that. I never. It's the best carrot cake I've ever had. It was incredible. I think what it is, is a lot of cake to me or a lot of sweets taste like they're gonna fuck you up. Like they taste like there's some bad shit in there

that's gonna cause some bad health shit inside you. Like it just feels like it's all like, it tastes great, but this isn't gonna be good for me. Or you just have like one kind of health guru cake, huh? Yeah. No, I just think in general in life, especially. Just doesn't like sweets. What?

I think living in this country though, you feel like half the shit you eat, you're like, I'm just poisoning myself. That is true. And this carrot cake for some, didn't feel that way. It was very late. That's how I will decide it. I didn't know that you were going there.

That's hilarious. No, and it was. It was very, it was moist, but not overly wet. Oh my God, so many people are right. You were saying that word. Oh, really wet. You know what I mean? It had this perfect consistency, but didn't taste super sugary.

And I've had carrot cakes where the cream cheese frosting on top is just like, you have it and you're like, damn, I have a cavity already. And so this was truly the perfect cake. And so OP does even share a picture of the cupcakes, his wife made. Beautiful. I mean, these are professional great cupcakes.

You don't even get this quality from sprinkles. I buy those. I would buy these. This is $4 of cupcake for sure. Like fun stuff on them. Like sprinkles or like little orange the sprinkles or like when they put little flag toppers. Yeah. Those are always fun. Yeah. So I will share the recipe on our Instagram when this one comes out because it is worth trying. when this one comes out because it is worth trying. Like, it's kind of worthy of a family feud, I guess, because it was so good.

But the top comment on the original post, wait, do you mean in the delivery room? Hell no, you don't need an audience for that. Clearly missing the point of this whole thing. Oh, he said don't even bother showing up at the hospital. That is aggressive. I think you, I like the sentiment of sticking up your wife. Yeah, if you're using his fighting words, it's aggressive.

If you don't want someone to be at the hospital when you're giving birth, you have the right to be as comfortable as you would like to be. In my opinion, I know there's always, there's been a lot of conversations around that. People get hurt when they're not allowed at the hospital, but it's like there are some people that are like, I want my privacy.

Yeah. And that is totally fine. But he's using it as punishment and as fighting where it's, and that's where it's like a little bit aggressive. Yeah. I do want to know more about the backstory here, about why he feels like he was gaslit. And like, if this is something they always do

and him saying, I don't want it to happen to my daughter. I do want more info there, but OP does respond to that one and goes, my wife's mom is 2,500 miles away from us. And my mom and her have a very close relationship. So my wife asked if the hospital would allow it if she could be in the room. Okay, got it.

So his wife wanted his mom in the room even. That's strange. And so he is now even saying, that's not strange, just strange that he doesn't want, or that he's using that against her when his wife wants her there. And I get like, I just like,

I'm really baffled. Like this is one of those things where it's like, so he's like, he basically is like, you can't come unless you say sorry. Yeah. And don't even bother showing up to the hospital. We won't even tell you when she's going into labor. Also, why is it so hard for her to apologize to, though?

Because like, I mean, I've always, I think that there's some situations where there's just like where people keep on pushing you to their limits and if they're asking for an apology and you realize, like, I don't need to keep like, subisting to this when I don't agree with the way that you treat me. And so, like, I'm not going to apologize and I'm just going to like, move forward with my life. You, like, and I don't need to have you in it. That's a different story. However, if it's just like a really simple like, hey, like I'm so sorry that that hurt your feelings, I was totally trying to be playful.

You know, my son let me know that that hurt you and I never wanted that to be the intention. Why is that so hard at the same time? You know? Like, I get that it's a weird, like she might be annoyed because she's like, I don't have to apologize, but it's like if people's feelings are hurt, why is it so hard to apologize that you hurt someone's feelings? People just need to get on board.

And apology is not meant to be this overthought, over amplified thing. Like it's okay to just be like, I'm so sorry I hurt your feelings. Exactly. But it can be, oh, sorry if I did hurt your feelings. It doesn't even need to be to the point where it's like, oh, yep, I know I did.

It can be like, hey, sorry if I offended. It's all right. The only thing that's somewhat triggering is when people say like, like they pass the blame on you where it's like, oh, sorry, like that you took it that way. Yeah, oh, I hate that. That's where it's like, oh, just say sorry, point blank.

Just that's it. Yeah. It's almost like they call it the narcissist prayer where it's like, ugh, just say sorry, point blank. Just that's it. Yeah. It's almost like they call it the narcissist prayer where it's like, sorry you took it that way. And if it did hurt your feelings, that's on you. Like it's the small thing. It's so funny. I used to always get those apologies from one of my exes. And he would just be like, well, I'm sorry

that you feel that way. And I'm sorry that you took it that way. And I'm sorry that you, that way, and I'm sorry that you took it that way, and I'm sorry that you have these, you know, that, I'm sorry that you have these issues. Sorry, you're so sensitive. Yes, yes, that one, I got that one alive. I'm sorry that you're so sensitive. I was just like,

Thanks, that makes you feel great. Okay, but here's the thing. If it was all playful and whatever, and the husband is reacting to past interactions with these two and that's where it's all fueled from. Yeah, then why does she go in and be like, yep I support your decision and I agree because I was like the last sentence. I think she like if this were me I would just appreciate you standing by my side and like having my back like She probably does feel like a little

crazy and like she's pregnant. She's going through a lot as it is. So it's just kind of like, well, that's how you want to handle it, huh? Like the Zier family. Like it sounds like they're overly protective of each other. Yeah. Which is greater than yeah, the opposite. Yeah. That's true. But I also know if I were taking something too far, even if it were with my family, I feel like you look at me and be like, dude, it wasn't even a big deal. Why are you blowing this up? So that's why I wanna know.

Like, obviously it has a little more weight than, oh, it was just playful, whatever, and I was just looking at the fridge, just out of curiosity. Maybe it's somewhere in the middle of these two extremes where she's just reading it. Like she sees her staring at the thread. That's also what's hard about these stories is it's written by one person. It's not written by what if it was written by the two of them?

I also think we need to remember, obviously, it would be very different written by the two of them. And we do have a little bit of an update. But like, this is a family recipe. this came from a Holocaust survivor. Like, and like knowing my family and having Holocaust survivors in my family, like, obviously, this is very fortunate. She even has this recipe because like, people were forced out of their homes. They lost everything. Their art, their recipes, everything. So the fact she has this, I can see this being a very personal thing to all of them. But this recipe is so important and used so often that it has a home on their fridge.

This is a picture he shared of the recipe and it's on their fridge with a smiley magnet. It's home is the fridge. So I think she could just be getting milk out of the fridge. So I think like she could just be like getting milk out of the fridge and like glints at the recipe and she's like, what did I do? And then he sees it and she's like, oh my God, she's still festering on this. I think there's like, there's a lot going on here

and he's sensitive because of the history with his mom and aunt. And so even if his wife isn't even that bothered, he's like we said triggered. Which would make a lot more sense too if she was fucking up the recipe, like if she was making a mockery of it by making it so poorly. But it's the fact that no, it's better.

How did you do that? Dude, I'm gonna be honest, I'd be the same way. I'd be like, what did you do? Right, but extra baby food. But there's a huge difference between how did you do this versus how could you do this? Well, that's what they're asking, it's how did you. Right, which is a lot lighter than how could you do this

to this recipe? This is why it's in the theme, y'all. Pretty peculiar, this whole fight. So comments do kind of get into like, what's going on with your mom and your aunt? Why are they like this? Why, why, you're so triggered? And he does respond to someone that goes,

has your aunt always been kind of a pushy bitch? And OP goes, it's a weird dynamic between my mom and aunt. We're not sure what all happened to them getting up, but my mom is fiercely defensive towards her. My grandfather did have some issues and abused them. We know that much. My father passed away in 13 from lung cancer.

When my mom started dating again, my aunt torpedoed her own house, cheated on her husband to the point my cousin refuses to be in her life at all. Whoa. My aunt hasn't really dated since then, but she latches on to people that have grandchildren and parade the kids around.

It's odd. Someone goes, your aunt is self-destructive and your mom enables her. They've got a codependency thing going on, and it's not good for them, and it's not good for your whole family. And OP goes, it's not. That's why we're trying to establish boundaries now

before our daughter comes. I've enabled it so long in my life, I won't subject my daughter to being gaslit. So it sounds like there's a lot of context. A lot of context. We're missing a lot of history, but a lot of people did make this recipe. So, so many. That's hilarious. People said they made it for their work lunch kind of thing. People said it was the best cupcake they've ever had. So many people made it.

Was it did you do cupcakes or was it a cake? I did mine in a cake for. I want to try we should try the cupcakes. We should. Yeah. Made these cupcakes tonight and had to say they're phenomenal. Thank you for sharing. Nice. And so many people did it. And O.P. responded back like, I bet it's the baby food because this recipe does call for part carrots, but then part baby food carrot puree. I'm telling you, it's the best cake I've ever had. I'll make it so you can actually try it. O.P. does add, um, edit. I'm telling you, it's the best cake I've ever had. I'll make it so you can actually try it. OP does add, edit, I'm getting a surprisingly high number of requests for the recipe. I asked my wife and I could share and she said,

quit gossiping, take a picture of the recipe. Apologize for misspellings as I had pregnancy brain. And please let them know I add a teaspoon of vanilla extract to the cake batter as well. Oh, and let them know that they can use any combination of carrots, two cups baby food, two cups shredded carrots, or one of each. Here it is. Wait a minute, was the vanilla?

Yeah. She forgot the vanilla. That was the missing piece. Cookin' a bun pan for one hour, cupcakes are 23 to 24 minutes, depending on gas or electric. She's curious what people think of the recipe. She's added, she's not responsible for any family fights it may cause. She's added three cupcake tax and a picture of the exact cupcakes in question. Final edit.

This will possibly be my final. I've spent too much time on here today. I respect all of your answers. I definitely understand where my outburst caused a problem. I'm going to apologize to my mother and tell her that she just needs to respect my wife and I a little more. And while she may not feel she did wrong, my wife took it a certain way and that you can't help how people feel. I agree that she's the innocent one in all of this.

And I appreciate all the positive words directed her way. Even if there were not so kind words directed, my way, I get it. My wife has felt like a celebrity tonight and we have joined together in laughing in some of the comments. She hopes that her care-kicked recipe doesn't result in any family feuds. I especially appreciate those that gave advice. I read through each and every one of them and we had a great conversation surrounding some of the things you all said. I hope in some of my comments, I didn't come off as altruistic. I do kind of love her. If any of you make the carrot cake, please entertain a pregnant woman's wishes and send me a message about what you think. It is amazing. For those who watch it on YouTube, you'll see a picture of the

care cake we made and it's amazing. I think all of you should make it, especially if you're in a baking or bakers or want to try baking. Or if you want to celebrate a proposal with a sweet treat. There you go. There you go. Try it now, Dan. Well, so I was gonna bring it down to the proposal, a.k. Matt's dinner. And there was a missing piece out of it because my aunt who didn't know what was happening, tried it. And if there wouldn't have been a piece missing, I would have brought it. Because I felt it looked kind of weird to bring a dessert to an event. That was already eaten.

So I didn't. But it's an amazing recipe. Moving along. Okay. Are you sticking in for the whole episode? No. Is this where you leave? Yeah.

Okay, goodbye. Just wanted to dip my toe in. Just a little tippy toe. Yeah, yeah. I'm still exhausted from last week's big episode. Yeah, that was a lot. That we're gonna record, I think, tomorrow. Yeah.

Wait, what? Time traveling again. Like Sergey, P's a lot. That we're gonna record, I think, tomorrow. Yeah. Wait, what? Time traveling again. Like Sergey, Pana Maranco. Yeah. No, I'll let you guys crush it. Okay, goodbye. One of this week's partners is Nextevo Naturals. When I wake up in the morning,

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upgrade to better natural solutions from nextivo naturals. Go to nextevo.com and use promo code THT to get 25% off. That's 25% off at n-e-x-t-e-v-o-dot-com from a code T-H-T. Okay, this next one is just us, just left. Wain. Wain. Okay, so for this next one, we're gonna read both of these,

but do you wanna talk about bears or potatoes first? Bears. Okay, so this one is a month old. It is titled Am I the asshole for refusing to let my wife wake up our daughter to see a bear? My wife and kids, 12 female, 10 female, 8 male, 6 male, 4 male, and I just spent three weeks at our cabin while we got some repairs done on our house. Our 10 year old Rose has leukemia. A lot of the activities around the

cabin are outdoors, and Rose doesn't usually have the energy for that, so one of her favorite activities has been watching the wildlife from this big window seat in the master bedroom and taking pictures of what she sees. Her goal since she started doing this was to see a bear. Her goal since she started doing this was to see a bear. There are some in the area, but it's not too common to see one. She has me take her up to the window seat after dinner and usually falls asleep watching for bears. Towards the end of the three weeks, I had to take her to the hospital for chemo. Three and a half hours each way. That night, she fell asleep in the window seat again,

and when I got up to carry her to bed, there were two bears close to our cabin. I called my wife over to see, and I took a picture on Rose's iPad, but my wife wanted to wake Rose up so she could see. She hasn't gotten to see a bear this trip. I told my wife she needs to rest, and that showing her the picture would be enough, but my wife still tried to wake her up. I stopped her again and got Rose in bed. The next morning I told Rose that there were bears last night, and I showed her the picture. She asked if I woke her up.

I said yes, because I didn't want her to get upset, but my wife told Rose that I wouldn't let anybody wake her up. We did not see any more bears for the rest of the trip, and Rose has been devastated. She refuses to speak to me and deleted the pictures I took for her, because apparently it doesn't count. She's even refusing to sleep next to me. She's been sleeping between me and my wife since she got sick. So, my wife has had to sleep in Rose's room since the trip. My wife is even talking about taking Rose back to the cabin for a week to try and see a bear. I don't think it's a big deal, but my wife and Rose are still upset with me,

so I wanted to know if I was the asshole. I mean, he was trying to do the right thing, but like, it's asshole. Yeah. I mean, I, I think he did have the wrong decision. I think he made the wrong decision, but like, I, but like, his heart was in the right, the right place, right? Road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

Asshole. Your little girl has been waiting to see a bear. Well, yeah, I don't for weeks, for weeks. She falls asleep every night. Why on this window seat watching for bears? Asshole. But we have two bears in front of you. But this feels like fate.

Yeah. It feels like these were just bears meant to find rows and you don't wake her up. She's going to fall back asleep in 15 minutes bitch. Wake her up. It is weird. Wake her up. Yeah. I look at like my mom's husband

who passed from cancer was just terrible. Like the worst I've ever seen a patient ever. He wasn't my patient. The worst person I've ever seen. Yeah. He impaired to my patient, the worst person I've ever seen. Yeah. Yeah. He impaired to my patients even that I've seen in a lot of different hospitals. I've worked at. And if I could have given him something that would have like made him so happy, and I'm not implying Rose is on her deathbed or anything like that, she's got leukemia.

She's going through chemo. Things aren't great. That's the point. If I could have given him something that would have made him so fucking happy so easily, I would have. Why do you think he did that? I don't know. That's why I'm trying to be a good guy. And that's what I'm good at. That's what I'm saying.

That's why I'm like, did he make the wrong decision? Yes. But is he an asshole? I don't think he sounds like an asshole. I think he just made a bad decision. Well, why not, wake up? What's the point of not waking her up? You have not one bear, but you have two bears.

People can be really sensitive about letting people sleep. I mean, you just said how your grandma did it to you when you wanted to make the carrot cake. Oh, I was pissed. Yeah. I was so mad at her. I'm like, Grandma, I want to do that with you. Yeah.

And it's not like your grandma was like, I'm going to be an asshole the Morgan. Ha, ha, ha. You know, so that's my only reason. And like, I think he made the wrong decision, but like, do I think that he's a bad guy? It doesn't sound like he's a bad guy. But at the same time, it's so easy to get her awake and then provide her so much happiness. I know, he fucked up for sure. And that's the thing when you're dealing

with chronic conditions or maybe acute conditions or things like cancer, The brain is so powerful. Is sleep important? 100%. But our activities, just as important, are fulfilling side quests and passions just as important? Yes. I literally just and just showed me this video.

And it was the craziest fucking thing. He showed me this video of this woman who was 104 years old. And she wanted to go skydiving at 104. So she went skydiving. And she jumped out of the plane on her very own. I was really scared watching her come down because I'm like, holy shit, what if she has a bad landing? She's 104. Her bones are basically peanut brittle. Oh my God. She had a good landing. Very descriptive. She went on She you know had a good time skydiving. She is now getting certified to be in the Guinness World Record as the oldest person to jump out of a plane but Guess what happened what four days later she passed away in her sleep?

What does that mean? She's dead. Okay, but like what's the what's the point? Yeah four days later, she passed away in her sleep. What does that mean? She's dead. Okay, but like, what's the point? Yeah. Let people fucking live. Okay, got it. She had a great time.

God. She's in this new protocol. I thought you were trying to allude to the fact that Skydiving made her pass away. No, no, no, no, no, no, she went peacefully in her sleep. She didn't sound like it. In this article, it was kind of crazy. It was kind of confusing and it felt like they were writing an article about her skydiving and all this crazy stuff and they interviewed her and then all of a sudden she died.

And so they kind of had to adjust the article. Because it was only four days after. And it's one of these things like you're never guaranteed, let people live, give them the experiences and she was 104. Well, that's a different story. And I think I'm 10 year old with leukemia, but like let her see the bear. let people live, give them the experiences, and she was 104. Well, that's a different story. And I think I'm gonna 10 year old with leukemia, but let her see the bear!

And I actually think this is kind of a good reminder and a good point because there is moments where there is something else that's more important than your sleep, which is that. It would have taken maybe 15 minutes from her at most, maybe an hour, hour and a half until the bearers wander off and she calms down and is able to falsely begin after that adrenaline rush of seeing the bears. But what would that have done to her psyche? Exactly.

Her mental health. Exactly. Yeah. And the brain life is so important, so important. So powerful. What do you think though overall vote on this one is? You're the asshole. Yeah. important, so important, powerful. What do you think, though, overall, vote on this one is? You're the asshole.

Yeah, you are correct. Of course. Top comment, you're the asshole. You decided for her. Even though your wife was clearly telling you that you were wrong, then you disregarded your wife's opinion as well. And guess what? You were wrong.

So from this outsider's perspective, it looks like, quote, my female child does not know what she wants. My female spouse does not know either. They don't really know their own minds. I know better. I really hope I'm wrong. But you might need to sit with this some and ask why you chose this. Also, why lie about it? It either mattered, so wake her, or it didn't, so be honest. You know what I think makes him the biggest asshole, actually? Chills.

Is that he is asking or like trying to defend himself and saying that he's not the asshole, or like that like he didn't do anything wrong. Like him posting about it to me and like being or that he didn't do anything wrong. Like him posting about it to me and being like, I didn't do anything wrong is actually what I think makes him the asshole. If he were to just do that and then turn around and be like, I fucked up, I'm so sorry.

I just wanted you to have good sleep. I thought we would see so many more bears and I just wanted, you know what, if you did that, but that's the part that it's like, and you know why he knows he's the asshole? Why? Because when his little girl asked him, did you try to wake me up?

He lied and said, yeah, we tried. You didn't fucking try. You did the opposite of try. That is really annoying. So if you did try or you knew you should have tried, why are you lying? Yeah. Because you don't want to be the bad guy? Don't lie.

Don't lie to your kids. Tell the truth and say, sweetie, I thought I was more important for you to sleep. Like you just said. Yeah. Don't lie. Yeah. Moving along.

Yeah. Let's go. Let's do it. Let's do another one. Another one of this week's partners is Buffy. Yeah. Moving along. Yeah. Let's go. Let's do it. Let's do another one. Another one of this week's partners is Buffy. I love my bed, but what makes it is quality sheets. Whether that's for regular sleeping or taking my regularly scheduled stress naps,

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So upgrade your bedding with the breeze sheet set by Buffy. Go to buffy.co and use code THT for 25% off your first order. That's buffy.co promo code THT for 25% off. Link is also in the description. Okay, so this is coming from the two hot takes subreddit. It is only nine hours old. Whoa. So it's titled, Am I the asshole for asking my ex-husband for his sperm? for asking my ex-husband for his sperm. I love when you've loved your girls. My ex and I were married for eight years. We got married at 22 and I got pregnant at 30.

Then I discovered that he was being unfaithful to me with a coworker while I was pregnant, so I asked for a divorce. He seemed quite remorseful and he didn't want a divorce, especially for our daughter. We share custody and he pays support. My ex-husband is very attached to my daughter. He has the right to see her two times a month, but I let him see her whenever he wants, so he comes to my house about three or four times a week to see my daughter. My ex wanted us to try a relationship again, but I said no. Now two years after our divorce, I want another baby.

I don't have a partner, and I don't want just anyone to be the father of my baby. So I asked my ex-husband to give me his sperm so I could get pregnant again. I made it very clear to him that he did not have to pay child support for the new child. He simply has to be a sperm donor. He accepted and even said that he wanted to take care of the baby if I became pregnant. I told my mother about my plans and she called me an idiot. Since, according to her, I am, quote, giving my ex-husband wings that we could be together in the future. My mother told several of my family and I've been getting a lot of harassing messages about how I'm an idiot.

Several of my family were against the divorce saying that anyone can make a mistake. Like the one my ex-husband did. Am I the asshole for asking for my ex-husband sperm? No, do whatever you wanna do. I, okay. This is gonna be probably a hot take. I love this. Yeah. I love this.

I think it's pretty peculiar. You're right. Out of the norm. But I love this. Yeah. Like, what is that saying? It's like, oh, it's something to do with like the devil you know. Like, engage with the devil you know.

Like engage with the devil you know. I have no idea. Also, I just feel like I should say that, it's because anyone who's watching the YouTube video can probably see that I'm just so fidgety today. I've just felt, I've just been extra ADD today. I don't know if you ever feel that way. Like some days it's just like, I've been pacing all day today.

Yeah, so. I think it's something to the I've been pacing all day today. Yeah. So, it's something to the moon. There's a clips. There's an eclipse tomorrow. I don't, I think it's because I just like drink wine last night when I was watching a movie. Maybe, but could be because of the moon as well. There's an eclipse. There's some sort of solar lunar, I don't know. There's an eclipse tomorrow. It's a big deal. I'm getting up early to see it.

I see it. Oh, I jumped in the ocean naked on the full moon. No, what was it called? It was called the blue moon or something. Was that what it's called? Yes. Yeah, I saw a TikTok that was like going to a body of water naked and I was like, bet.

Yeah, bet. Was it good? Yeah, it was awesome. There was people around too, but it was so dark that I was like, it's fine. They can't see me. I was kind of nervous, but yeah, I jumped. And it was really cool.

It was really cool. And it's like, our ocean's kind of of cold, so that's really cool. I'm pretty proud of myself. So the saying is better the devil you know than the devil you don't. Okay. And that's the saying I was looking for. Like, you already know what you're getting with this guy. Yeah. You were married. You obviously loved him, you probably still do love him, but you have a child together already, he's a great dad. I would rather have him, and you know, like genetics wise, you know where he's at, genetically, like, you know, I would way rather have a kid with someone I know

than a random donor, and there's a lot of ethical questions where like sperm donor conceived kids don't feel the greatest about it. I love this. I get all of the sperm. Let's go. I really hope that my mom isn't mad at me for saying this because I usually don't like to talk about specific people

but it has to do with me. And my mom said that she was like, I haven't told anyone this. Are you a sperm donor kid? Can you imagine? This is how you break into the sun? Yeah, no. Oh my God, I would be like, no.

No, no, so my mom basically just said, because there's four of us from my mom. And my mom basically said that she realized that her and my dad were probably not going to be able to last, but that she got a call from the doctor who delivered all three of my siblings. And he's like, I'm retiring soon. So if you are going to have another child, I just wanted to let everyone know. And then comes Lauren.

And my mom was like, I've always wanted to have four children. So I had you. Thank God she did. Well, because that's when I said to my mom, I was like, damn mom, I was like, if I was you, I wouldn't exist. Like because she went and wanted to have a kid with an unstable relationship. Yeah, exactly.

But my mom was like, I knew I wanted to have four kids. And so I just kept like, you know, Trudgeon forward, but that's insane. Yeah. Good job, Jan. Yeah, and I don't I don't really I have no idea honestly the dynamics of their relationship Like they got divorced when I was three years old like yeah, which is not shocking But then also I kind of think it's crazy that she already was thinking that she didn't know if their relationship was gonna Be able to last and then, you know, still had me. And then that would have been like, you were three.

She got pregnant for, yeah. So like at least four years, yeah. Like, you know, trying to make it work. So I think, you know, I think there's a lot with a lot of people when they're like, I love this person and I want it to work and I want to just kind of like delusionally like being like, I can make it work. It'll work and they all figure it out. And then, but knowing in your heart

that it doesn't really make sense. So I think that's kind of what happened. But yeah, I'm so sorry, mom, if you don't want me to tell anyone that. But no, I think that like that's really, I mean, I think you get to a point two where you're like, well, what's the harm? Like, if we work, if we don't work, we already have three kids together. What's the fourth? Yeah. And like this person writing in, they're even saying like, hey, you don't have to be responsible

for this other child. I just know I want another one. Yeah. And how great would it be for I just know I want another one. Yeah. And how great would it be for the kid we already have to have a sibling? I think this is really cool. Yeah. Really cool, because also if you think about it, how many people are out there where they have

a gay best friend that donates the sperm? Okay, okay, okay, everyone's yelling. That's probably pretty rare. But I just saw someone that I know personally. I'm like, I know so many people that I've done that in movies. No, so I know this girl personally. I've met her in L.A. at various parties and she's kind of a, she used to work at Buzzfeed and so she's got a following. She's an influencer, I guess, a content creator. And she's going through this whole process of like,

like egg freezing and, yeah, and all of this stuff. And I'm pretty sure her gay best friend donated his sperm. That's awesome. And so it's like people do it. I just, I think this is really cool. It's peculiar, but I fucking love this. I think not the asshole.

I absolutely understand though, if, let's say that they have a relationship where it's kind of tricky, like where, you know, if he's still in love with her and he still wants to be with her. And again, he could be saying yes just to get closer. And look at it this way too, let's say. I can see you. You know, I wanna believe that he's just such a good dad

that he loves his child so much that he wants to see his child four times a week. But what if the reason for the motivation was because he gets to see his ex-wife so often. So her family saying that she's an idiot could actually just be looking out for the fact that it's just entangling her with somebody who's not good for her health even longer and even more. So I don't blame them for, you know, absolutely being like worried about that.

I would have to know more about the situation. I don't think that she's an asshole for that thought. And I think that it could be, you know, really great for her. And if that's what she wants and they are all aboard, that's all that matters. It's their decision, not anyone else's. Yeah. But people from an outside perspective often can see things that sometimes people that are in the situation are a little bit more tunnel vision to.

Oh, for sure. And she's just baby, baby, right? Right. Yeah. She might not be even considering all these other ramifications of rights. Right. Love that word, by the way, I haven't heard it in a really long time. Big word for Elmo. Ha ha.

Top comment does point out something that I didn't consider. Child one is his, but child two isn't, but it is. I see some therapy in these children's future. And that is such a valid point to figure out. And something that I'm just like, happy ending, yeah. Badges usually mind fucks me. And I'm like, so true.

And I'm like, wait, because he's saying yes now. He's saying yes, like, have the sperm and I'll even help with this other kid. I'll help if necessary, but you're right. Like, he's that dad to their sibling and he's just the sperm donor to the other. Whoa, that's so fucking true. Dude, why didn't I think of that first?

God, don't you wish you had smart, fast brain? Smart, smart, fast, smart, fast. I literally think someday as I'm like, God, why is my brain not faster? Like the way people can come up with quick reactions and like quick quips and I'm like, oh, be smart, be fast, be smart, be fast. Sometimes I listen back to our episodes

and I'm just like, sometimes I yell at myself and I'm like, no, Lauren, no, no, no, didn't you see what he did? Ha, ha, ha, ha. Have you seen those videos of the people? And it's with that interstellar music I've talked about this before. But it's like a clip of them and then they cut to a clip of themselves

yelling outside the window. No, no, no. And it's literally like that. But that is a really good point. A lot of self-reflection. For sure. But it's a solid, solid point and a consideration where,

yeah, you're like, it might be harmful that kid if the dad does decide to ignore that second one because he didn't really agree, like in a sense. Like, I was just donating sperm. But in my head, I go to, well, is it gonna be even more harmful? Because our brains are wacky. You can't predict how we each respond to things

and how a child is gonna feel as much as we try to hypothesize. But would it be even worse if the mom did go to a sperm bank and had a random number, I'm picking this profile and whatever. And that child is like, my sibling has this whole happy, healthy dad and mom and has both, but I was a donated sperm.

Like, you know what I mean? Like, people, we try to argue this and it's like, yeah, I see some therapy in this child's future, but the reality is, we all need therapy. Like life is hard. Look at what we have to deal with. Look at what it gets thrown in our faces and what's happening around the world on a daily basis.

Life is hard. We all need therapy. Yeah. And you bring up something else. That something you said, just like reminding me of a real world, or not this is not a real world, but like reminding me of something in my life where I have a friend who had a baby with somebody and the dad disappeared for about 12 years of the child's life. And then the dad came back into her life

and wanted to have another child. And they had another child together. And my concern for that is if you think about it, so now the first child is like what, like, you know, 16 years old, 16 years old. That's an age gap. 17 years old. Not about the age gap, but if you think about it,

that child who's like 17 years old did not have her dad in her life at all. Why does this one get a do over? And now, and now her brand new sibling, the best case scenario if this guy is actually stable and a good guy and he changed his ways and like stop doing he was doing because he was MIA. He was gone from her life completely for her entire life. He left when she was like three years old and so she doesn't really have a memory of him. So if he

if he were to actually show up and be a really good dad, that's the best case scenario. That would be the best thing that could possibly. I'd be so happy about that. But then how much hurtful that fuck up, like how much would that like hurt to watch as like a 17 year old watch your dad who never wanted to be a part of your life, even though it's because not, it wasn't personal. It's because he was fucked up. But like at that young age, it's like it feels so hurtful. Like, you don't want to be a part of my life. And now watching him raise your younger sister and be a really good dad to her.

I went through this. It, I went through this. Yeah. I literally, like you saying this, or it does bring up a lot because my younger sister, we have the same bio dad. But I grew up with Jerry as my dad. And it's this complex situation.

And I do remember having those feelings a lot where I was like, well, Paige got something I never did. Yeah. And this and that. And it, it does hurt. It's a really weird, weird, weird feeling, especially because I did have my dad, Jerry. And it was really complicated to like process as a kid, as a teen, and seeing this other side of the coin.

What could have been or things like that. And it is very hurtful. Yeah. It's interesting. And I'm really good now. And, you know, me and my sister, we've've either grass isn't always greener on the other side. I think it's like the moral, but it is challenging. Yeah.

Because as a teen or a kid, you don't have the tools equipped to process that. No. And so you're just, it hurts. Yeah. That is a really challenging situation. Like I literally, you're telling me this. And I'm like, oh my god, challenging situation. Like I literally, you're telling me this and I'm like,

oh my God, like I get with that girl, the young teen, at this point having another sibling now, is feeling because I was there. And a 16 year age gap is way bigger than eight. And it's probably even worse. It's magnified, right? And she's never said anything, but I know that she internalizes things.

So it's like they try to be so tough. Yeah, we do. I remember so many things whenever I was a kid too. I kept to myself. I wanted to just be tough and brave and not show people that my weakness. And now I'm just like, wow, I'm sad. Just always telling people, like, yeah, when you're young, like you try to like be strong and yeah, it's just,

it's tough. So that being said, hey, it's, it's really hard because it's like you, I want to support, I want to support any like decision that they want. And if it makes them happy, then they should do that and not have external people kind of tell them not to. Yeah, but, but I do see why people are raising concerns. Valid, they're valid, they're valid concerns.

Yeah, I think it is interesting. It's an unusual problem. I think I was, I'm very quick to get on board because I think if you have two willing participants, it does sound great. I think it is really fun having siblings. I think this is a better situation than a random donor. That's my take. There is an edit from OP.

I just want to say, I made it clear to my ex that I wasn't going to get back with him. I just wanted his sperm. Likewise, if in the future he does not want to continue paying support for the new child, there would be no problem. And people were, I mean, this is very new. There's not like a vote on this one.

The top comment I read. Someone does make a comment that's somewhat interesting. Almost seems like she's punishing him for cheating by not getting back together. Yet deep down, she still wants him in her life. No. Was that a guy commenting? They're already bonded.

They already have one kid. Yeah. Sorry, that was mean that I said that. It's, they already, and they go, they go on to say though, Opie should seek a therapist, decide if she can forgive him, and then very likely get back together with him.

I don't think I agree with that one personally. They're already connected. When you choose to have a kid with someone, you are connected for life. Yeah, that's... I know I have a lot of respect for people that date and get married to people who already have kids and they don't have kids themselves and that they're actually genuinely good like Step parents and like really love the kids. Yeah, because I think that like it's really easy to get like so jealous That like somebody who did something that you didn't like and it was bonded was and is bonded with someone else forever

Because of it, you know, and so for bonded with someone else forever because of it. And so for people to have the maturity and strength to just be like, life is life, life's messy. I love you no matter what. I'm always like, that's awesome. I can imagine that it can be hard for people who haven't had kids and then they date somebody who has kids with somebody and they're just like in their life forever. You know, cause usually your exes are just kinda like gone.

Yeah. But like, you have to deal with their exes all the time cause they use your kids. I would struggle with that. It takes strength. Yeah, in my opinion. I wouldn't be a bad stepmom, but like, I, when I was dating,

I did encounter guys that had kids, and I just knew at the point in my life, granted I was dating people five years ago, I was 24 when I was dating. I knew at the age of 24, I didn't want to be a stepmom. Yeah, and that was a lot for me at 24. I get like later in life,

that might not be a concern, but I knew for me that wasn't right. It wasn't the fact that I would be jealous of those kids or hate those kids, not the case. I just knew what that wasn't right. It wasn't the fact that I would be jealous of those kids or hate those kids. Not the case. I just knew what I was capable of. I'm 29 and I'm still not capable of having my own kid. So you know what I mean?

But I think there's a lot there. But we do have a lot of comments from OP. Okay, let's get them. So, someone, like, I'm going to be honest, OP's kind of getting torn apart in this post. Someone goes, you are an asshole. It's his daughter too. You don't let him see her.

And any other kid you have together is his too. You women make me sick. My ex had the same entitled attitude when she wanted a divorce. Okay, sorry, I'm kinda confused. I thought that that was their agreement like that they wanted was the custody rule. It was that it's not.

So, opinions. So, opinions. In my country, custody is always given to the mother. Okay, so it doesn't sound like it's the US. Okay, yeah. Speculating here, you know. Someone else goes, the rest of that comment is, we need to ban this person.

I'm gonna be honest, like, they just seem goofy. Yeah. It is interesting though. I think, I mean, that comment was obviously very hostile and it sounded like it's coming from the fact that, you know, he has an experience that he's still not over. But it is, that's what it's giving. Yeah, but it's always interesting to me, like, how much,

it really is like with children, I feel like the woman in most states in the United States, it's always like the woman takes like priority of the like custody. And I always, I just kind of think that's interesting, you know, like I, I don't know if statistically that's accurate because I know there used to be a big problem with dads typically relationships we're talking about they would get custody when they maybe shouldn't have. So we'd have to look up the stats for that. I'm unsure, but I remember hearing something like this.

But I mean, I don't have any facts at all. I just have, it's what I've heard. The size random this, but I mean, I don't have any facts at all. It's what I've heard. The size of random comments, like being like, you know, woman typically, get favoritism when it comes to custody ruling. And I've just heard stuff like that. I've never done my research, so it's for climbing out. No, I'm unsure too,

and I just don't want to perpetuate anything falsely. I think a lot of what I was reading on too was in terms of abuse cases. It might be a very specific population, but we could fact check and include that in the show notes. But there is another comment. They go, he said, he will help you raise so he will equally give his father's love It's not a bad idea. Oh he goes I know we had planned to have two or three children before the divorce I think that's why he easily agreed to it another comment you're being selfish and unreasonable How exactly are you gonna get pregnant a

Turkey-based or you just shoot it up How exactly are you gonna get pregnant? A turkey-based or? You just shoot it up. I know it's not that simple, you guys, but come on. As others have stated, you will need to use a facility so that he is absolved of all responsibility. It's also a dick move to have his child that is fully related to their sibling.

Yet won't even share the child's last name. Be honest, when you got divorced, did you even change your last name back to your maiden? Wait, what? I don't know why that's relevant. That's irrelevant. Yeah. Again, you're being selfish. You're giving your ex false hope. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Get some therapy. I don't know why people are getting so up and arms about this one. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Maybe I'm my drunk. Yeah, maybe you were drunk. I don't know. I mean, know. Maybe I'm my drunk. Yeah, maybe we're drunk. I don't know.

It is a Friday. We usually don't record on a weekend. So like, here's a baby. Maybe we're just drunk right now. I don't know. I guess I kind of just think it's their life. Like it's kind of like, I think the consideration, there were some valid points. Yeah, of course.

Hey, you're one kid versus the second kid. Like, that's, that's their dad, but not. They're dad, that's valid. Yeah, absolutely. Like, we just went off on a whole like personal like issue around it or concerns around it. But I just, yeah, seems like there's a lot of people in the comments that are just taking it

very, like, putting their own personal, which, I mean, we all do, but they're putting like their own personal touch into it. And like, I don't know why she would be such an asshole to other people for thinking about this concept because people, I mean, she might. She said, yes, yeah, he said, yes. Yeah. If he would have said no, and she pastored him, then it's different.

And then it's different. Yeah, it's different. But like, and also, like, I don't know why people are so worried about giving him false hope to be completely honest, because I'm like, okay, I, sorry, I'm just having a hard time trying to like, formally, exactly what I'm thinking, but like, I... He cheated on her.

I mean, he just falsely ended. He cheated on her and he, when she was pregnant, which to me is honestly one of the worst ways to cheat on somebody is when they're carrying your baby and going through who knows what she was going through and being pregnant. Like, I have a friend who is just pregnant and she had a really tough pregnancy and to cheat on the person who is bearing your child. Like, that is just so low to me. That's bottom of the barrel. It's gum. Yeah, that I'm like, I don't think people, like obviously like people deserve second chances, people make mistakes.

I understand that. I don't think that like just because somebody cheated one time, that makes them a horrible human being forever. They're just stapled that way. I don't believe that. Like that, you know, whatever, but at the same time, why are we also worried about hit him in the comments? You know what I mean?

Like everyone's like, you're giving him false hope. Who cares? That I'm live. Who fucking cares? He's choosing his own fate. Yeah, like what, like, am I, is that crazy for me to think that? No.

Okay, I don't think so. I don't think so. Me personally. I'm on board for this though. And someone does point out, I mean, OP can just get a sperm donor. I'm sure they've done background checks on the men who have donated. So it's not like she will be in the dark. I want to hear her reason for not considering this option or adoption.

OP goes, actually, I have considered adopting. And the person goes, what made you change your mind on it? Nothing changed. I always had it in mind from the beginning. Of course, it is a little more tiring, but I have considered it. And I'm gonna be honest, like adoption from what I know, from people who have been adopted. It's not easy. It can also come with mental health concerns. My friend has really struggled with it.

And also, like, it's easier, cheaper. And again, you're getting in a bed It can also come with mental health concerns. My friend has really struggled with it. And also, it's easier, cheaper. And again, you're getting in a bed with the devil you know versus one you don't. Well, I'm not to say, I'm not implying anything negative about an adopted child. I'm just saying, it's easier. It just seems easier in my head. I think so, and this is something that what I'm about to say is not like how I feel. I just think that there is this trickle-down effect that is still impacting our current state of mind.

But you know, our, like, one generation ago, like our parents' generation, it was very pressured for people to have kids from all the same person. Oh my God, my mom went through hell. And you went through hell. I don't believe because of that. And you've told me that before. So it's like, and not that that's right at all to think like that, like think like,

oh, I should just keep it from like the same sperm. It's not that that's right, but it's also not crazy that she's in that mindset. You know what I'm saying? Like kind of just like, okay, I keep it with the same, like, same genetics kind of thing. Like because it is a trickle-down effect,

maybe in like a couple hundred years, that would be laughable. But like right now, it was literally only like, you know, like a couple decades ago that people were so, like adamant, was literally only like, you know, like a couple decades ago that people were so like adamant the social pressure of, you know, so. So I'm not surprised that she's thinking like that. I, I think you could be on board and I just again, like it's her choice. I, I'm on board, like whatever, whatever her reasoning is, I think it's, I think it's fine. I think it's good.

It's just, I wish. I'm coming from someone who, me and my two brothers and my sister, we have the same dad, but me and my two brothers, we all have different dads. I wish I would have like shared all the same dad with my siblings, like what made life real easy. But then you couldn't share it in the trauma. Then you wouldn't have the same siblings. I wouldn't. And then real easy. But then you would share it in the trauma. Then you wouldn't have the same siblings.

I wouldn't. And then it wouldn't be, you know, it worked out perfectly and beautifully. It did, but growing up, you're like, God, like, why does Taylor have to go to his dad on Christmas Eve? Right. I have to go to my dad and that doesn't go to his dad's at all.

Right. Like, life would have been less complicated. Right. One thing I will point out, and it speaks to, maybe the people commenting, but someone goes, you shouldn't have told anyone about it. Just say it was an accident after a date. The question is, dot, dot, dot.

What's the method of donation? Direct deposit? Ooh. Ooh. So, Opie goes, I haven't seen the possible methods yet. I will consult with the doctor to see what would be the most effective possibility. Dude, me and one of my friends, we like, we're like, if we're 40 and we're not married and don't have kids, we will get married and have children and have a sexless marriage and child. I've seen a lot of like relationships.

Yeah, we were like literally like, we'll still live our life, but we will just like have like a family together because we want that. And so if we're 40 years old, we're like, and even though it would be easier to just have sex, like we're like, we'll do like sperm don't mean don't necessarily. Yeah, so, we, and even, even though it would be easier to just have sex, like, we're like, we'll do like sperm, don't mean don't be a star.

Yeah. So that we never have to have sex. So it doesn't get complicated. So we can still live our own lives and like, do our thing, but like raise a family together. Such a like, crazy idea. But like, if we were 40 years old, and I'm like, this, I want a family and like, I'm like, it's like, and then this is someone I trust. And I like, I can trust is going to be like a good, like, you know? That's the thing. When you choose to have kids with someone, make sure they're good.

They're gonna be good dads, good moms, good parents because you gotta be real selective. And sometimes you don't know until you know, and they fucking fall off the deep end once you're pregnant. But you gotta be, literally I say this, like be selective about who you choose to procreate with. Yeah, but this person, someone else commented and they go, they were insinuating that you'll have sex

to produce the second child. And I hope he goes, sorry, I didn't understand it that way. Like shocked emojis. Yeah. You guys, there are turkey basters. Don't you remember seeing the movie with Jennifer Aniston? That's every time you say turkey baster, that's what I think.

She literally like incohernates herself in her house. And I've watched, oh wait, and then what happened? Wasn't it like her best friend who switched the sperm? Yeah, you got drunk and switched it. Fucking dick. But I have. So beautiful. But you can buy sperm online.

I've seen a lesbian couple on TikTok. It's like buying like a fucking minute. Or what are they called? What is that when you could like buy those little like fishy thingies? Tad pulls. Tad pulls. Was that what it was?

Yes. Online you could like buy tadpoles. Do you remember the little seahorse things you could get on the Benny machine at the laundromat? Yes. I was always at the laundromat. No, I never went to the laundromat when I was young. I went to the laundromat all the time.

That was like a grown up. That was like a grown up. Go to the laundromat. I thought that was like a poor people thing. Cause that's like we didn't have a washer and dryer at our house, so we had to go to the laundromat. Oh, I was thinking, uh, that's a dry cleaning, dry cleaning.

No, that's the laund launch mat where you do yourself. Okay. We didn't have a washer and dryer when I was growing up at one of the places we lived as like a apartment complex thing. And so we would go to the launch mat. And I was always so excited because I go to the quarter thing and they were like these little like seahorse animal things. You'd get out of the quarter thing and you'd put them in a bowl with water and they'd like come alive.

It was so crazy. But, yeah, I didn't think this, I don't think this person realized you could literally inseminate yourself if you wanted to. Nice. There's at home kits nowadays. I'm not gonna lie. I'm kind of ready for the next story and I don't know if it's because I'm just so ADD. Let's go. Next. Okay, sorry. Ready? Yeah. I'm done. Are you sure? Maybe people want more over it. They're cool. They're like, shut the fuck up. Yeah. Another one of this week's partners is beam.

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and get up to 50% off for a limited time. When you go to shopbeam.com slash DHT and use code cyber at checkout. That's shopbem.com slash DHT and use code cyber for up to 50% off. Link is in the description. Okay, so this one was posted a day ago. It is titled Am I the asshole for not letting my mother-in-law and father-in-law help me with the baby after their reaction to me being injured? I, 21 female, have a 7th month old son with my boyfriend. My family lives abroad and are coming to stay and help over Christmas time. For now, my mother-in-law and father-in-law, 60s, Deborah and Bob, are helping me with household stuff and the baby.

So far we haven't had any real issues and they've been a massive help. About three weeks ago I fell down the stairs. I wasn't holding the baby and the baby was safe. However, instead of helping me, Deborah and Bob both jumped to comfort the baby who was crying and left me at the bottom of the stairs. My legs were fine, but I was wobbly because of the shock and asked one of them to help me up.

After nearly ten whole minutes of being ignored, I managed to stand up on my own and hobble through to the living room. I sit down and Deborah says, quote, what happened to you? Are you okay? I'll admit, I saw red. I just said, I fell down the stairs. Didn't you hear me calling you for help? Deborah's eyes widen. And she said she was too busy fussing over the baby. After an hour, my arm was swelling up, and I was taken to the hospital. Luckily, it was nothing serious and recovery time would be quick.

After my boyfriend got home and his parents left, I told him I no longer want their help after today's events. I can manage on my own, even though it'll be hard. He was taken aback and said they've done a lot for us. I said I appreciate it all, but they ignored me crying and calling them for help for 10 minutes after I fell down

the stairs. They didn't care about me, only the baby, and I was embarrassed I didn't see it sooner. He called his parents to let them know we wouldn't need their help anymore, and his dad said, quote, is it about today? We really didn't hear her. My boyfriend just told them they're invited to the Sunday roast this week and that's all. I could tell he was not happy about my decision, but he said he went along with it because I'm the mother.

That's good. Fast forward to Sunday and my brother-in-law and sister-in-law are guests as well. Sister-in-law has a three-year-old and is totally on my side, but brother-in-law is not. He told me to, quote, be grateful to his parents for their support, as they're significantly more well off than my parents. And paid, and paid for many newborn slash infant expenses,

and planned to pay for many more as the baby grows. Since then, Deborah keeps calling, asking if we need any help and says she feels awful, not seeing the both of you and that she misses the baby. Am I the asshole for not wanting them helping me in my day-to-day life? How do they not hear her? See, that's the hard part, is that if they didn't hear her, then it's like, they didn't hear her. What could they have done? But how didn't they hear her? She fell down the stairs.

Let me read the edits. Do you think that they don't like her? Or like, how could you just ignore someone? That's the hard part for me. How could you ignore someone who's screaming for help, no matter who they are? Even if you hated them. Literally.

No matter who it was. Literally. Any time, like anyone, even if you hated them, literally. No matter who it was. Literally. Like, anyone, even if it was a fucking villain, like if there's a name in the house. I can hate your fucking guts. And if I heard you get hurt, I mean for hell, I would like run to try to help somewhere, right? I would too.

I feel like that's a pretty common human reaction, so it's hard for me to believe that they did hear her. Does that make sense? So let me get into the edits, and then we can get into this. Okay. So edit. Was the baby crying loudly enough that there's a possibility they didn't hear you? Question mark.

No way. The baby stopped crying after 10 seconds, and the stairs are like two meters from the living room. There's absolutely zero way they couldn't have heard me. One, I screamed as I fell. Two, the general noise of someone falling, including books falling and wall plates breaking. Three, me crying and shouting for help.

I fell at the top of the stairs and fell all the way down. This wasn't a misstep and a bum shuffled down that hurt my pelvic bone. I truly fell down the stairs and cracked the banister, no way they didn't hear. Jesus. The baby also started crying after the initial smack, after I hit the ground.

I just, I, what were they doing? I just have a hard time believing they would ignore her, to be honest. Like, how could they do that? I am truly blown away and so confused. Like, I just, I feel like they actually didn't hear her because I can't imagine that anyone would ignore that. I'm very confused.

It seems. And maybe they were tunnel vision because the baby did start crying immediately after the smack that all they thought of was the baby's crying. I don't know, I don't know. It's really hard for me to think that. Do you think that they're just like crazy psychos? It's hard for me to think that they are.

But okay, what was it the brother or the brother in law? The brother in law. That was a dick. That was a rude. Yeah, rude. Like comment. Yeah, right. So I think since this has been posted,

like OP, the overall vote on this one is not the asshole. Yeah. Like people are like, you're justified, they're your feelings, like whatever. Yeah, no, I don't think that they're the asshole, but I'm just trying to like break it down. Like I'm like, no, but I think I'm looking at some of OP's responses to other comments.

And I do think some people said, you're the asshole. You're the asshole. Really, you go from, they've been a massive help to cutting them off over a misunderstanding. This type of behavior doesn't help people understand each other, lived happily together, and the intimate talk to each other. That's what I'd say.

Is he actually cutting them off? Or did he just, I thought he just uninvited them to something? OPs just doesn't want their help during the week anymore. That's it. I just don't need your help. I've literally fell down the fucking stairs and screamed and cried for your help.

The baby stopped crying. What's the excuse? You didn't hear me? This, you know what this feels like? It feels like, you know, when you're like, you're young and you're like trying to get your mom's attention and you're saying there, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom.

Are you doing a stewie? Mom, mom, mommy, mom. Oh, what's family guy? Oh, no, sorry. Stewie's been on my mind. I accidentally commented too soon on a post and I literally said same post about Stewie from Family Guy, and it has over a thousand likes.

So he's just been like really on my mind because I get a notification like every day. Wow, yeah, no, I've never really seen that. Mom, mommy, mom, mommy, yeah. That's why it's giving no. Because the baby stopped crying. So can't you just picture her like crying at the bottom of the stairs after like books fell plates fell off the wall and broke the banister broke and she's like,

can anyone hear me? I'm not going to lie. And they're literally right there. I've actually this is like kind of slightly triggering to me for not a good fucking reason at all. But I know I just I've been alone. I've lived with roommates and with people my entire life. And now I just have one roommate. And I've never just had one roommate.

And she's been gone so much. And she's out of town, like within Texas with her family. And I've been a home alone for like, I'm gonna be home alone for like a total of like 10 days or something like that. I'm not used to that in my entire life. And I just get like weird thoughts about like, if I were to hurt myself and like,

who would come and find me, like, or if I were to die, how long would it take for someone to come and find my fucking rotting body? I just have it really weird thoughts. I don't realize how scared I actually am. I'm so scared of being home alone. Until I'm alone.

I feel like I'm brave. I would go on runs at night and my roommates would be like, don't do that. And I'd be like, no, it's fine. And then when I'm home alone, I'm just holy shit, because I also live in a really, really noisy area, where I can, you can hear what's going on outside. And so I'll sometimes wake up in the middle of the night to it. And instead of just like, when I have a roommate, like I wake up to it, and then I fall back asleep and I'm settled. But when no one's home, something about my entire

body, like goes into fight or flight mode and I get this adrenaline shock. And so I just, this story is almost triggering to me because today I was just thinking, if I were to die or get hurt, how long would it take for someone to find me? Because I'm also, again, I don't wanna blame this on being ADD, but I do, I can be really bad with texting sometimes.

I'm just like, I know. And so, I'm like, people kind of are used to that. So it's like, how long would it take for someone to come and find me? And I would just be like, I don't know. It, I feel like if you didn't talk to me for like three days, I'd come find you. Yeah, but three days.

I thought that I'd find my friends too long. Like I would want you to find me in three hours. Then you better start responding faster. I know, I'm sorry. Because otherwise I'm gonna be like, nah, just Lauren being Lauren. Literally, yeah. I'm not gonna think all her corpse is rotting.

I don't know, I shouldn't be laughing at that comment, but. Oh my God. But anyway, yeah, so that was a little bit triggering. I can see why. Yeah, I know. I would be super pissed if I was her too. And I also respect that her husband is so just like,

ready to come to her defense. He's not happy about it, but he's saying, okay, I respect your feelings. But I also do get why people are like, that's so dramatic, that's like, you know, they're trying to help. If they genuinely didn't hear, if they genuinely did not hear,

then it does suck, it is a shitty situation. But if they've like showed like displays of this type of like microaggression, like throughout their entire relationship and this was kind of just like the last straw, then I'm like, okay, I get it. But if they genuinely did not hear it, did not know, then that sucks.

That's not fair. They get so punished for something that they had no idea about. So it's kind of a, I don't really know my opinion, to be honest. Yeah. Well, someone, there's a lot of responses from OPs, so this would definitely be one to go find.

Someone goes, what strange behavior on their part? Info, have their ben signs they hate you or are deranged? There have been instances, just like casually, as there are signs that they hate you or that they're deranged. So aggressive. There have been instances where they've forgotten what I've asked them. For example, I asked Bob, Father-in-law, for some cans of soup, pasta, etc. Just so long as he didn't get this one brand of mac and cheese because it makes me gag. And he returned with the mac and cheese. It even said on the list, no mac and cheese. I will throw up.

Okay, so it maybe does seem like it's a buildup of microaggressions. Someone goes, is it possible that your in-laws over our, oh my God, I am drunk. I know. Is it at all possible that your in-laws are hard of hearing? Was the TV on? Is it possible that they honestly didn't hear you?

Sorry, you fell, not the asshole. I mean, if they are hard of hearing, meaning they didn't hear all of the noise from the fall, including 10 minutes of me sobbing and yelling their names asking for help, then they are not fit to take care of my kid. There, yeah that's fair. But I will say, OP does respond to someone

that just says, I think you missed my point. Deaf and hard of hearing people are both perfectly fit to be parents and care for babies. The point everyone is making you and is it clear to everyone except you is that if they are hard of hearing and didn't realize it or in denial of it, which would be the case with these specific people given the context of this specific story, then they have not taken into account that they can't hear a baby cry and implemented solutions to account for that. Okay. That's, they just, they go on to say that that actually was a really good like ad because

that's very fair. So, OP does respond to that. Thank you. One of my friends is hard of hearing, and I trust her with the baby, because she has the appropriate measures in place for someone living with deafness. I don't know every single thing in her house that is catered for deaf people, but she is totally,

but she is totally, totally, I like that. Capable of living and happy, independent life with the measures she has in place, and I would be more than comfortable leaving the baby with her. The difference between her and my in-laws,

assuming they're both losing their hearing and at the same rate, is that they don't care or are ignoring the problem, meaning they are not responsible enough. I think people must have came for her and been like, part of hearing are perfectly capable, and this is the response to it. Well, it does make and been like, hard of hearing are perfectly capable. And this is the response too. Well, it does make sense, absolutely.

But the response also makes so much sense. It's the denial aspect that could make it dangerous. If you're like, OK, well, I'm hard of hearing, but I'm also in denial. But if you're like, I'm hard of hearing, so here's what I put in place to make sure that everyone's safe, fantastic. So it makes sense.

And I, it makes sense that there is clarification. Wait, so then what was your final consensus? I don't even know what my final consensus was. I don't think not the asshole. If you don't feel safe with certain people helping you, with a newborn baby, you are perfectly justified in that decision, whatever your reasoning or reasons, things that have happened to make you feel that way. Point blank, if you don't feel safe, you're good.

It's your family to look after. Once you have a baby, then that is now your immediate family. And so, your parents and your siblings and everything, like they are still your family, of course, and you love them, but once you have a baby, like that's your immediate family, that's your priority and whatever measures you have to take. I guess the only thing,

sorry, what, am I teeth red? No. Something just popped into my head though, as you're saying that. And I think this is really interesting because that's totally where OP is coming from. She's like, they didn't hear me crying and screaming after I fell down the stairs.

Like, I don't trust them looking after my baby. And so OP is essentially saying, hey, I would rather deal with myself and falling down a flight of fucking stairs than deal with them helping me with the kid. Yeah. Like, OP is like, I don't need them. I don't need their help.

Yeah. Like, they didn't help me when I fell down the stairs. Right. And it's not funny, but like at the same time, it's like, it's just like laughable. Like, it's so laughable, they didn't hear you and help you that you're just like, what can you do but like laugh, you know what I mean?

Absolutely. Just, I think, comic-able. The only thing that like, what can you do? But like laugh, you know what I mean? Absolutely. Just, I think, comic call. The only thing that like, I can't, like the only thing I have a hard time with thinking about if my husband told me, and this is different because this is not what's going on. Like they are just like, we don't need your help, like 24, seven, basically.

Yeah. But cutting them off. They're not cutting them off. No, not at all. So this is like totally fine to me, but I do remember one time you told a story, and it was with somebody else. I can't remember who I think, like Alejandra. And you guys were talking about how there was a grandmother

who tried to have the baby suck on her nipple or something, which was super, super, super fucked up. But then basically, the woman was like, your mom's not like, I can't remember what it was, but I thought it was something very extreme. Like your mom's not allowed around our baby anymore, which like, I guess it's not extreme, and I don't have a baby,

so like I also could imagine people would be like so furious about that. I'm gonna be honest, if Justin's mom tried to nurse my baby, you wouldn't want her to be around. It wouldn't be unsupervised. No, yeah. Family holidays. Sure. Yeah around. It wouldn't be unsupervised. No, family holidays. Sure, yeah.

No, and I think unsupervised is like different. I maybe understood the story differently, but I thought it was like they didn't want her to be around at all, period, and a story. Yeah, I don't remember. I think it was mostly she was nanny in full time or something. Okay, maybe that was it.

So it was like they were like done with that. But I just think like, I just picture if like my mom did some stupid mistake where she was trying to help and it was actually hurtful, but like her intentions were good. And my partner was like, your mom is never around my baby ever again. Like how heartbreaking that would be for me. You know, so I give like some sympathy in that aspect

when people get like really extreme about it. Like the care kick. Yeah, but like unsupervised, well, he was just like just for like the hospital. Yeah, that wasn't like ex eternal. Yeah. But like I just think like unsupervised, that's fine. You know, whatever, if you don't. Whatever, if you don't feel comfortable,

if you don't feel comfortable, it's your family family first. You gotta protect your baby first and foremost. But to not have a parent or a grandparent around in general at all, that's the only time that I'm just like, damn, you know? And like you said, maybe it has to be Supervisor moving forward,

but like, they're not cutting them off. Yeah. I think it's totally fine. Yeah. It's fair. You just don't want their help during the day. Exactly. They proved incapable of helping.

Yeah. Point blank. Moving on. Okay. Okay, let's get into these potatoes. So this one is titled, am I the asshole for taking potatoes off of a guy's plate at a wedding? No. I just got back, potatoes?

No. I just got back from my friends wedding in Mexico. It was at a fancy, all-inclusive. Everyone mostly did their own thing with only a few group events planned, other than the wedding and reception, obviously. One of the group activities was dinner out at one of the restaurants that required a reservation. It was beautiful and the service was fantastic. One hiccup. The best man did not want potatoes. He wasn't allergic. Potatoes did not take out his parents in a dark alley, and he wasn't sworn to avenge them. As far as I know, anyways, what is the story?

We got a comedian. Okay. I speak Spanish. And after he asked me, I asked the waiter to please not serve him potatoes. Well, you know where this is going. He was maliciously served potatoes, and he would not shut up about it. He pointed out to everyone at our table that he had been served a starchy tuber against his will. Other tables were watching him and listening to him getting upset about the potatoes.

He ate the rest of his meal, but would not drop the potatoes. I couldn't take it anymore. I reached over and grabbed the potatoes with my hand and put them on my plate. And then I ate them. He just sat there stunned. Then he got up and went to his suite. He avoided me the rest of the time there, but he made sure to tell everyone what an asshole I was and how unladylike my behavior was. Ew, leave him, bye. I just wanted him to shut the fuck up about the potatoes. Little bitch.

My friend wants me to apologize for causing drama. Am I the asshole? No! Who hates potatoes as much? People with allergies against them. I'm sorry, but like if everything, if you just told me the story was just the story and after I shook the potatoes it ended, then I'd be like, okay, that's fine. But the fact that he went around telling people, like, this girl is unlady like, like, shut up. You like, stop, like goofball. Why is he slandering her?

You are. Absolutely for Rick. I mean, by the sounds of it, they try to literally say, don't serve him potatoes. Just don't do it. This shit happens in the kitchen. Do you know how many times I actually gave people the wrong type of potato is that perkins? Yeah.

Is there is a lot of options? Serving is actually so strenuous. What happens when I was serving? I just remember there was certain things where that were so insanely overwhelming that like no one could understand this. Like no one understands why. It seems like it should be so simple.

Like from an outside perspective, when I look at people serving, I'm like, that looks easy. I don't know why, but it's not. It's not easy. It's a hard, it's really hard. It is. And she gets all over the place. And that's a busy kitchen.

And your meal is not the only one getting made in there. But you also have a lot of moving pieces, right? Like your manager is mad at you because you put the glasses on a table that you weren't supposed to put a glass glasses on. Like, well, you were, while they were, this is actually a real story. I like, was, I took out an entire tray of glasses to try to set all the tables. And I like set one of them down on like an area that she like freaked out at. And then I have like I have for your yelling at me

and then I have, you know, like people being like, wait, could you bring me hot sauce and then them being like, wait, this is actually too hot. Could you bring me less hot sauce and then I have like people being like, oh, could you also grab me a drink and then you're talking to the kitchen and then you're telling people from the kitchen,

can you bring me hot sauce that's less hot and then could you and then at the bar You're like hey, by the way, you forgot to put salt on this one Could you put salt on this drink and you're talking to the bar people? They're giving every server. There's soul Nightmares. Yeah, I used to have like serving dreams, but on serving nightmares are probably the worst They're school nightmares, work nightmares, but if you've been a server, there is nothing like the nightmares you get having been a server.

I wasn't a server long enough for them to stay in my consciousness now. I still have them, so I still. Yeah, I have school nightmares all the time. I don't have serving nightmares anymore, but when I was serving, they did, for sure. It's so bad. I had a repetitive nightmare,

different scenarios, but same theme, so much lately. And it's, I'm in a play, and I don't know. I'm in a play, and I find out right before I'm about to go on. And I have to Google my lines or lyrics. And whoa, I had it again. That is a nightmare for sure. I had it again.

Sorry, I just wanted to tell something. Oh my God. Tell me what you wanted to say. But I had it again. Sorry, I just wanted to tell something. Oh my God. But tell me what you wanted to say. But I had it again recently and I had to like wake myself up. It was so bad. Go. Okay, I had the most, like maybe everyone's going to be like, shut up, that's not crazy, but to me it was so crazy.

Okay, so I was about to go to bed. And before I go to bed, I like to have my Sharpie pen next to my journal so that when I wake up in the morning, I like writing my schedule. No, no, no, no, no, no, my dreams. I write my schedule. So, and I like to, like, if I don't have it all, like, set up perfectly there, then sometimes I wake up

and I'm like lazy and la la la. So it helps me to be more productive. So right before I went to bed, I was looking for my Sharpie pen. I couldn't find it anywhere. And then I was like, whatever, fuck it, I went to bed, I was looking for my Sharpie pen. I couldn't find it anywhere. And then I was like, whatever, fuck it. I go to bed. I wake up and I'm holding my Sharpie pen like a fucking teddy bear like this. I didn't wake up and I'm like, is this a dream?

And then I'm like, it's not. I was literally holding my Sharpie pen. I don't know how I found it. How I got in my hand. It was mind blowing to me. And I just. Interesting. I know.

And I like keep thinking. Do you think you're sleepwalking? I think it was in my bed. I think that it was somewhere in my sheets. And I think I was moving around and I felt it. And I think in my consciousness, I was like, oh, yeah, I was looking for you. I love how it's happened.

I obviously love having conversations with you when you're sleeping. I don't know how to take that comment. I do digesting too, because he never knew he was a sleep talker. But he is. I'm not like a big sleep talker though. It does happen from time to time. You definitely chat.

I think maybe it was just when I was sleeping next to you. I was like, this is my girlfriend. My boyfriend's never told me that. Oh my god, you're a sleep talker. But he is too and it's so funny. Because I'll be like, the goat when I was side. And I'm like, I'm like, what goat? We don't have a goat. The goat had a beard.

Where did the goat come from? And he'd be like, you got that goat. And the goat won't go away. And I'm like, I just like play. I knew it. It's so fun. That's hilarious. I love sleep talkers. play. I knew it. It's so fun. That's hilarious. I love sleep talkers. Wow.

I think they're so entertaining. Yeah. But back to this one. Mm-hmm. What? Do you think the overall vote on potato was? Um, I would say not the asshole. You would be correct.

Yeah. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, yeah. Top comment, not the asshole. Don't worry about it. This is small potatoes. Ehh. Well played. Someone else goes, he's got some kind of chip on his shoulder about potatoes, doesn't he? Behaving like a duchess for being served the wrong food.

He expected you to be the fondant of all knowledge with your Spanish language skills. I don't know why he needed to make such a hassle about it all. It would have made my blood boil too. And I think that's like the drama in this where it's like, okay, you didn't want potatoes. You got potatoes.

Don't eat them. I also just think it's weird when people are like, like find a way to like start drama at weddings, you know? Like it's kind of like, it should just you like, like, find a way to like start drama at weddings, you know? Like it's kind of like, it should just be like just one day where you just kind of like focus on the fact that there are two people or, you know, multiple people, their families that are paying thousands of dollars to make this one event go on and just focus on them, you know? And so whenever like people like kind of like when I hear

drama about like weddings like that between people at party, it's kind of like for what, for what, why loser? Like I was at a I was at a wedding like years ago and I this this guy walked up to me and he was like, oh, like how do you know the bride and groom? And I was like, oh, like I'm actually a plus one and You know, I don't I don't know them super well But I met them one time and I absolutely adore them. I was like specifically the bride I think she's so incredible like just the most beautiful like ray of sunshine I just absolutely adore her He's so nice and then and then he turns her and then he goes,

oh, cool. And I go, how do you know the bride and groom? And he goes, the bride's my daughter. And I go, oh, I was like, well, good thing that I, good thing that I said, you know, like wonderful things about her. Can you imagine if I said anything negative? And then he just looks at me.

He goes, I would have asked you to leave my house immediately. And then he walks away. me, he goes, I would have asked you to leave my house immediately and then he walks away. And I was like, that's so weird. Like, what is that? That's so strange. And I think that he was just overly stressed, like trying to make his balance. White and everyone's been in the house.

Yeah, and there's like so stress. But I was like, that could have started like drama if I was like an angry person. That's a wild, you know? That's very weird, right? People are like, imagine if I just responded like, oh my God, yeah. And then if you would have said that,

I would have been like, and then you can go fuck yourself as I was leaving. He'd be like, what the fuck? It's like perspective, you know? It's like, what? It's quite strange it's like perspective, you know what I'm saying? What? It's quite strange. Don't sweat the small stuff, people. Don't sweat the small stuff.

Moving along. Another one of this week's partners is Lumi. The other day, I was walking down the street and I started smelling myself. We've all been there. You just stink. And this is because I forgot to put on my Lumi deodorant. So I walk into a store, buy deodorant, put it on,

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baking soda-free, paraben-free, and again, pH-balanced. So if you're ready to try it for yourself, loomie starter pack is perfect for new customers. It comes with a solid, stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant, two free products of your choice, like mini body wash and deodorant wipes, and free shipping. As a special offer for listeners, new customers get $5 off a Lumi starter pack

with code THT at lumidodorant.com. That equates to over 40% off your starter pack when you visit lumidodorant.com and use code THT. A link is also in the description. So this next one, am I the asshole for moving my roommates insulin out of the way? So my 27-mail roommate, 23-female, is a type 1 diabetic, and she stores her insulin in the refrigerator.

I decided to throw a huge surprise party for my best friend, 28-mail, this weekend. I knew the party would be a massive hit, and I was super excited to see the look on his face when he walked in. To make the party unforgettable, I ordered a giant custom-made ice cream cake, which needed to be kept in the fridge. When I got home with the cake, I realized there wasn't enough room in the fridge for it. My roommate wasn't home, so I couldn't ask her if I could rearrange her stuff. I saw her insulin and I thought it would be no big deal

if I took it out for a few hours while the party was going on. Just to make room for the cake. I mean, I didn't think she would need it during the party since she wasn't even invited. Anyways, my roommate came home unexpectedly during the party, noticed her insulin was missing and absolutely freaked out. She started yelling at me in front of all of my guests,

making a scene and totally ruining the vibe. She went on this whole rant about how this type of insulin spoils quickly at room temperature or something, and she made a big scene of throwing it all out. thing and she made a big scene of throwing it all out. I looked it up and I'm 90% sure she's exaggerating. She had to take some emergency insulin she keeps in her room and left the party visibly upset. Now everyone's telling me I'm the asshole for taking her insulin out of the fridge, even though it was only for a few hours. I think she overreacted and it's not my fault she came home early. Am I the asshole? Yeah. I'm blown away.

How someone would think it's acceptable to touch another person's medical supplies or device. Yeah. Fuck you. And you're peculiar in the brain. Yeah. If you think it's normal to move someone's insulin without asking. And even if it was okay, even if it was okay,

like he said, I'm 90% sure that it was okay. Not 100, but like even if he did his research and he actually, which if he did his research, oh for that. He probably did it after the fact. He probably, you know what I mean? So that's what he did. But like he said, I'm 90% sure she's overreacting.

Right. And it's like, really it's not your insulin bitch. Yeah, fuck you. Do you have diabetes? Don't touch anyone's shit. Don't. Point blank, done, done. Don't touch people's shit.

Yeah, not their leftovers. No, it happens. But definitely don't touch their insulin. Yeah. And it's like, if I, I do you say that? Because what I did all on her own time, you like eating leftovers. What happens?

When I came home drunk and I like ate, not even the full thing, just a little bit of blood from no good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I was like drunk. And I was like, that looks good. And then I texted her and I was like, I'm so sorry, I ate some of your leftovers. I didn't eat all of them.

But um, and I was like, what can I sorry, I ate some of your leftovers. I didn't eat all of them. But, and I was like, what can I buy you and like replacement? And she was just like, it's fine. And then that's when I knew it was a big deal. I was like, oh no, it is not fine. But yeah, I mean, leftovers for me are no go. I freak out like that. I'm like, my leftovers are like a Hulk green. Well, and that's why, and I feel that too.

So like, because like, I get so, my leftovers are a whole green. Well, and that's why, and I feel that too. So like, because like I get so excited about leftovers, I don't, sometimes leftovers are better than like the real thing. But if I've ever done that a few times in my life, I would never not replace it if that makes sense. Immediately. Yeah, no, this person's just a fucking idiot. So a lot of comments from OP were actually removed by the moderators because they were so outrageous. But someone caught them, a lot of comments from OP were actually removed by the moderators, because they were so outrageous.

But someone caught them, a couple of them, and they commented. So thank you, Star Child, 812 for catching this. But they go, OP's comments have all been removed by the moderator. It looks like, but he left one saying that they didn't have fridges in historical times and diabetics were fine. For historical context, if you were diagnosed with type 1 diabetes prior to 1920s or so, you would almost certainly be dead within three months. I just can't imagine taking anyone's like something that's not food out of the fridge. Don't touch people's shoes. Because when I was younger, my dad gave me

some teeth whiteener things, because he's a dentist, and I put them in the fridge, and I'm just picturing if someone were to take them out of the fridge, they'd probably be fine, but it'd be like, what the fuck are you doing? And like when it's something that's like life threatening and like, this is her lifeline. If she doesn't have this. What the fuck are you doing?

What an idiot, what a fucking idiot. Yeah. Pretty peculiar. Yeah. Pretty peculiar. Again, it's all of these stories too are people that are like not trying to be an asshole They're just being stupid

Yeah, definitely definitely stupid. Okay. How are you feeling? How are you feeling pretty good? I don't know. I just have a weird feeling of like unresolved I just like I feel unresolved to I honestly I feel like maybe this was a, I genuinely did not want to record at all. Really? No, not at all. Is that why you put it off for a couple days? Yeah, I just have been in such a weird headspace that I'm very depressed. Yeah, I've since everything happened.

I've been like very like shell shocked. I'm like, that's not a term to use lightly, but I've been like very like, I told Alejandra, I was like, I could literally curl up in a ball and cry in my room for a week. Yeah, I've like, it's been this mental battle. And like just, I just, I couldn't even imagine myself actually like showing up and responding and recording. So the fact that I'm here and I'm trying shows, I think you did good.

Do you want one lighter one to end it off? Yeah, I'd love to end on a lighter note. Okay. Trigger warning for poop based on the title. I haven't read the story. I love poop stories. But it's trending right now haven't read the story. I love poop stories. But it's trending right now on Am I the asshole? So here we go.

Two days old. Am I the asshole for explaining to a man who refused to mind his business? What happens in graphic detail if I drink regular cow's milk in my latte? I had some tests to run at my local hospital today. In the hospital is a coffee place. It isn't Starbucks, but it's a local place that has a few locations in my area. When I was all done with my medical stuff, I decided to treat myself to a coffee. I got in a long line behind a

man that I noticed kept muttering about something. I noticed every time someone in front of him ordered a coffee with some sort of plant milk, he would mutter louder. Finally, he was up to order. He looked around and loudly said, I want a regular drip coffee with real milk. Not this fru fru bullshit everyone drinks these days. The barista rolled her eyes and got his coffee. He was standing nearby messing with his drink or something. I ordered a latte with oat milk. I was kind of waiting for him to say something, but I wasn't officially instigating because I always get oat milk. This guy looks at me and says, you know that's not milk, right? I said, yeah, I know. He then says, you know, that's not milk, right? I said, yeah, I know. He then says, it won't kill

you to drink regular milk, right? It's good for you. Now, here's where I might be the asshole. I said, quote, yeah, it won't kill me, but I don't want to Hershey squirt all the way home. I don't want to shit myself right now until there's nothing left in my stomach. So if you don't mind, I will take my oatmeal latte and not shit myself. Thanks. How is that asshole? The guy... The guy threw his coffee away and left. Good. I bitch. Coffee away and left. Good, I bitch. The barista was in shock.

Now I feel bad and my husband said it was kind of uncalled for. No. But he also laughed so hard when I told him. I get so annoyed when people decide they have some sort of out of pocket thing to say to me. Absolutely. I love this, also oat milk and almond milk,

especially of vanilla almond milk, taste way better anyways. You're debating that. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's not a last bit too much. No, no, no, no, no. I'm still thinking about this guy. I'm like, what a fucking loser.

You're gonna judge other people for what they consume. Grant, like people you don't know for what they consume. And then when they actually tell you the reason why they don't consume what you're pissed about, you're going to throw your coffee away and run away like a little bitch. Go fuck yourself. Sorry, but seriously enough said top comment on this one. Well he did ask and you let him know in no uncertain terms.

And there are horrible stomach and intestinal problems that follow. Some people need to hear it and be disgusted in order for them to leave others alone and shut their mouths. What is this problem anyway? You eat your coffee the way you like it? I don't know, this person has typo.

And that's that. What do I give a shade if you drink oat milk as long as you don't force me to drink it? I don't care, not the outside. That's why I'm like like level. I have like a hard time with like stories like this. That's why I dating back to When we talked about the home school teacher story the reason why I was so All I was trying to do was being incredibly sensitive to people that are homeschooled and All I was trying to do was be incredibly sensitive to people that are homeschooled and homeschooled teachers.

And by, on accident, I ended up like hurting other people's feelings by just trying to be like really like delicate around those feelings. But the reality is is like, you just, you can't tell people what to, like what decisions to make like that. You can't tell them how to, that's why.

So it's like, it's just I like, so it's like, it's just kind of like, it's like a pointless like conversation because it's kind of like, unless you want to sit them down and be like, hey, like I'm really worried because of XYZ, that people live. Right, like,

but then otherwise like if you're just gonna like, like bully them, they're just gonna get more like stronger and stronger on their own defense and defend their take. If you come at them in a negative way, if you actually are concerned because you care about them, sit them down and say, I'm worried. You know?

Because you can't tell people how to raise their children. You can't tell people what to eat. You just, you can't. You have to sit them down and say, you're worried if you're worried or otherwise you have to mind your fucking business. I just wish, like, and I think like the world right now, and I get this is like very unreasonable or unattainable, but I just wish everyone would like mind their own business when it doesn't hurt them, when it doesn't affect them. It's just like,

why can't you accept people that are different than you? Why can't you let people that are different than you be happy and whole and have a great life? Like, why do you feel that your way is right and the only way? I just want all of us to just like, yeah, okay, we talk shit about these reddit stories

and we say, oh, no, that's not right, that's not wrong, but this is kind of harmless. It's anonymous. When it's, yeah, and it's like, well, that's not right, that's not wrong. But this is kind of harmless. It's anonymous. Yeah. And it's like, well, can we give you better advice? So maybe you shouldn't accept your husband's sperm. Maybe, but I think you should, if you do take that choice.

But you don't mean like when it's a innocuous thing, we'll, some fur says, we're getting into the weeds here. But I think that a lot of people are afraid that what they're doing is not right. And by telling other people that they're wrong, it makes them feel like what they are doing is right. It's just like, but it's like, and that's why it's so strange, because it's like, why should it affect you?

If someone drinks oat milk, if someone, you know, does XYZ, like why do you care? Yeah. Why do you care? I don't know. And I would love to get to a point where we can all be happy and healthy. And obviously there's going to be bad people.

There's going to be shitty behavior. But behaviors that aren't hurting anyone. Let it go. Let it go. Babies are going to be shitty behavior, but behaviors that aren't hurting anyone. Let it go. Let it go. Babies are going to cry. Yeah. Shit's going to happen, but let's all just do good things and be good people to the best of our abilities and things like that. Just mind your own pees and cues, as they say.

But that's all I got for this episode. I love you all. Thank you all for being here. I know there are many, many people out there struggling right now and just trying to have some sense of normalcy and feel good in this world. And it can be tough. So I hope this at least was a distraction for you

and just know we're thinking about all of you and appreciate your support so so much. Me and Morgan have been talking a lot about this will come out a few weeks later, but we have been talking a lot about our pain and seeing people suffer and it's been really hard. It has, I've been a wreck. I've been a wreck all week. So I know, I don't know what will be happening by the time that you release this. But I know I just want to send so much love to absolutely everybody because whether it's extremely close to home to you

or whether you're just an outsider looking in, this is, I just wanna send a lot of love because it's a really hard time. And it does affect all of us. Like you might not feel connected, but like there's ripple effects and you're only separated by a couple degrees. We just all need to come together and I'm sure I will mention this in the episode with

Justin that gets put out before, but I used to laugh when beauty pageants, they'd ask, like, what do you want? I love a blah. And they'd say, well, peace. And it was always a joke, right? Oh, it's such a joke, right? Oh, such a joke. What a callous answer. What?

God, she wasn't smarter to come up with something. And I think about it now and I'm like, God, no, I think I would have the same answer. And an ideal world, or if you could have anything, what would you want? World fucking peace. Truly. On that note, until next time, guys.

Bye. Love you guys. you You begged for more so now blink 182 are coming again one more time Live at Rogers, August 15th. With special guests, Alexis on fire, and Pierce the Veil. Get tickets now at ticketmaster.ca. Blink 182, the brand new album. One more time is available everywhere now. Visit Blink182.com. is available everywhere now.

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