Two Hot Takes - 140: They Got Grit..

Episode Date: November 9, 2023

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Justin! Sometimes there's a hero in these stories.. someone who just has strength, composure, tenacity.. or as we're calling it GRIT. We can all use a little grit in our lives, and these stories demonstrate some solid examples. Or so we think.. but I can't wait to hear your thoughts! Let's get back into giving and making change: If able consider donating to your local animal shelter this week <3 Checkout the Burbank animal shelter to see the cuties we just met: https://www.burbankca.gov/web/parks-recreation/burbank-animal-shelter-homepage Our PO Box!! Two Hot Takes. 5042 Wilshire BLVD. #470. Los Angeles, CA 90036 Bonus Content on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Our SubReddit to Submit YOUR Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes Partners: Firstleaf: TryFirstleaf.com/THT !! Babbel: Babbel.com/tht ZocDoc: zocdoc.com/tht SKIMS: Skims.com -- Be sure to let them know we sent you! After you place your order, select "podcast" in the survey and select our show <3 thank you!!

Hi friends, just your reminder to hit that subscribe button. Maybe a thumbs up even if you're feeling real nice today, but enjoy the episode at the NFL game in Germany. West Virginia. That should be your intro. I'd get taken down for coffee. You're on YouTube. I was not sad.

What if you're saying it? I'm not singing. Despite what you think, maybe your opinion has changed. Now that you've heard me sing in the shower, I haven't checked in in a while, but I cannot sing. And everyone else that listened to this podcast knows that because I attempt sometimes, and it's not very good at all actually. But are you ready for today's episode?

I think so. Yeah, you got your Menards work. Your Menards shirt over there. So you're ready to do some work. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm dedicated to serve. No, dedicated to service and quality today.

Mm-hmm. Okay, you better come through on all your takes today then. That, yeah, that's a plan. Yeah. So today's theme is one we kind of introduced. It was the choice I gave you in Lauren. So today is Got grit. You got grit, they got grit.

Someone in these stories, it might not be OP, but it might, either way, someone has grit. Like, like sandpaper. Gritty. No, grit, when I think of grit. Toughness. So the definition based on the dictionary is courage and resolve, strength of character. Grit. I think like tenacity, I think strong, I think mentally very strong. It's something, you know, I want to have more of in myself. And so I'm finding a lot of these stories very motivating. Is it to have grit, to have your lungs bleed because you work out so hard because you're so just mentally tough? Yeah.

Just an experience, something recently and he's a little scarred by it, I think. But it's mental toughness. And then your body can't keep up. That's... That's... Usually people have the opposite problem. Their body could keep going, but their brain says no. That's where I'm at. I really wanna do this theme today, tonight.

I've just been dealing with a lot of anxiety and mental health stuff lately. I feel like a lot of people are just like with the world being what it is. And like online and being online, just like blah, blah, blah, like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and it's like, I just saw this diagram of like the ADHD iceberg. And it's like, what people think ADHD is?

Like, oh, can't focus and blah, blah, blah. And then at the underneath of the iceberg, it's all this other shit. I'm like, oh my god, it's me. That's why I'm struggling so much. Grit. I'm going to embrace some of these people's strong mentalities. I literally, you guys, I had to have Justin lay on me like temple grandin style lay on me because I was just so overwhelmed and my nervous system was fried. So if you're ever feeling like that, literally have someone lay on top of you and it feels

so good. Well, yeah, it was good. My arms fell asleep. I used to be able to sleep with that like that on, you know, not all night. I usually fall asleep like I'm laying in a coffin. But at night, I used to be able to turn over and sleep with my arms under the pillow, at least for like the last half an hour or so. And now I can't do it for more than like five minutes, my arms fall asleep and I'm like,

am I getting old or I got some kind of problem? Yeah. Because that used to be so comfy, it was the best. Usually it's a nerve thing, depending on where it's at. Like I hear that and I'm like, oh Saturday night, palsy, it's a nerve thing, depending on where it's at. Like I hear that and I'm like, oh Saturday night, Palsy, it's a thing that can happen. But anyways, it's all going downhill, everybody. It is, it is. But let's get into these stories.

Let's go. Let's dive in. What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up?

What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? I already think this place is haunted. Okay, so up first. This one is coming from AIT-A-H. It is titled, Am I the asshole for moving me and my newborn into the RV after my mother-in-law and husband tried giving it away? I'm feeling incredibly grossed out, so maybe this is hormones talking. I just gave birth a couple of weeks ago.

Back in March, my husband and I bought an RV for $2,500. That needed new floors, some patchwork on the roof around the skylight windows, and some updated appliances. All summer, we worked on the RV, and sunk in over $4,000. The only thing left to complete is updated appliances, but it's not a necessity. Obviously, since we just had our baby, though, that's been put on hold. But we still intended on having it completed by next summer, so we could go camping and traveling around for a few months. That's why we got the RV to begin with.

Now, my husband, Sister Jamie, 38, is having marital problems, apparently. And for whatever reason, my mother-in-law thought it would be okay to tell Jamie she could have our RV, since we aren't using it anyways. We are in no contact with Jamie, following her running her mouth about us to the rest of the family, because I refused to watch her dog for free anymore because I was heavily pregnant and her dog is a big, untrained nuisance. We haven't spoken to Jamie in at least three months. We went 100% no contact when we found out that she was heavily trash in our names.

So why Mother-in-law would give our stuff to Jamie baffles me on so many levels. Therefore, when Mother-in-law came here and said, quote, I told Jamie she could have your RV because she needs to get out of her house. We already have renovation plans for the camper. I was pissed. I asked her why she would give shit away that wasn't hers and why she would think it was acceptable. She pulled the family, helps family, and pay it forward talk. And much to my surprise, my husband said, quote, whatever, she already fucking told my sister she could have it, and maybe it's good karma. He was pissed, but still agreed to just give it away.

I basically told them both to go fuck themselves, because I worked hard on this RV all summer, while uncomfortable and pregnant, and I will be damned if it's given away to a no contact family member right from under my nose without even asking. My husband told his mom he would bring the RV to his sisters within the week. Without doing much thinking at all honestly, I packed up me and the baby and moved us into the RV. I'm not okay with giving away the RV and they both know it. So I took the extreme route. My husband says I'm being over dramatic and that we can just get another RV eventually. parentheses, we can't afford to buy a new one, come camping season. So am I the asshole?

No. No. Definitely not. Oh my God. I just don't understand a lot of it. I don't get a, I was picturing it almost being parked at the mother-in-law's house. And then it's like, oh, just grab that, just take that, and it'd be cool. And that was my first question.

Is it just sitting over there for her to be like, oh, yeah, just grab that one. But it's not. It's at their house. Because the husband was like, I'll deliver it within the week. We'll get there. We need to get there. But there's so much to unpack with this one.

Yeah, okay. a lot of dynamics, but the fact that the mom gives it a way is weird, because that would be like, I guess us having an extra car. Yeah. And one of our moms giving it to, well, I guess it'd be your mom giving it to a sibling because I don't know if siblings, like just to kind of put it in perspective.

For sure. And we'd be like, what? And then all of a sudden, you you're like yeah, I'll go give it and we've worked on it Of course I would I'd move me in the kid in the car Probably myself, but I it's just it's so illogical so Where is this coming from is it is the relationship between the Sun and the mom weird Where it's like oh oh, God spoke, and now I have to deliver the car over to my sister. You know what we would call that, my friends,

and Meshment, unclear boundaries, undying loyalty to a family. But like, I want to talk to the husband. I want to hear it. I so badly want her to have said in here, I talked to my husband about it, and here's what he said. So the post has been removed,

but we do have some comments from OP. I have a lot of problems with this, but first and foremost, I really do admire her grit and her like, fuck these people. I'm gonna hold down the fort. It's giving that like take over vibe. Yeah, but, oh, it just illogical, doesn't make sense.

And so I would hope she would do this because I would be doing this. I would fight, this is the hill I would die on. Oh, 100%. This is gonna define something forever in your relationship. This is a, you know, when those things come out of nowhere and it's like, oh, this is a pivotal moment. And what, how we navigate this moment will be, it will affect the rest of our relationship.

100% and this is one of those moments. Well, I just like don't understand. It's one thing if it's borrowing, we're going to borrow my sister, the RV, until camping season. Nope, didn't happen. It's still ask. Mom gave it away. Like this woman. It's still ask, right?

It's still ask, right? Yeah, and this woman could do, she could burn that camper to the ground. And I would say not the asshole because it's your camper, right? Would it be a little nuts? Yeah, 100%. But not the asshole. Is that just for being though? No, not the asshole in any regard. It's just really frustrating to me that this husband would totally disregard his wife's feelings, respect, boundaries, and also to be like, oh, well, we'll get another one eventually. You don't have the money.

You just had a baby. When is eventually five years from now? Why would you shoot yourself in the foot when you have a perfectly good camper that you put your heart and soul and money and your blood, sweat, and tears until? And it's like their money. It's not like he just did it all.

He bought it and did everything. It's their money. They bought it for them. And is the sister offering to buy it? And I fully understand. And I fully get if this is a bad relationship that the sister's in and she needs to get out. But guess what? Moving with mommy. With mom. Yeah. Moving with mom. Yeah.

So getting to some of OP's comments, someone goes, her husband has probably been browbeaten and lied to his entire life, believing sacrifice for others above yourself always. I was taught this so many times. My family and friends took advantage of me in this way. He probably doesn't even realize saying no is a real option. But how far does that go? What if the mom goes, hey, you know what, you guys?

Sister needs a new house. Can you guys just move out and go find something different? Would he just be like yeah, or do you think somewhere within him? There's a line. Opie goes of 100% he is made to feel guilty whenever he says no. Hence the reason his sister trashed our name so severely when I started saying no to watching her dog This comments interesting and I did not read it before. I haven't read any of these comments before actually. This person goes, why can't sis move in with mom? Not the asshole.

Hubby needs to grow his spine and stand up to his family and mother-in-law needs to stop spending other people's money. OP, she apparently was given the option to moving in with mother-in-law, but she needs her own space. Well, here's the thing, okay. There's things that happen in life. If you need to get out of this situation, I respect you needing to get out. That's one thing.

But at some point, you're not going to have all your luxuries when you wear in a time of need. This would be a time of need and a time of change, where you're trying to get out of something, or you just need space or something. But if you have to move in with mom, if that's your option, or you have to go rent a very expensive hotel and you don't have money to,

you're going to end up having to go stay with mom because yeah, you might need your own space, but you just can't really have it right now. You don't have the means to do it. You're not entitled to that at all times. You could negotiate something with your mom like, hey, just I'm going to be doing my own thing, leave me alone. Like, I'd love to do a couple dinners here and there throughout the week, but I just really need space right now, but I just need a room. I need a place to crash.

Well, and a safe place is better than, like, nothing. Like, go over with mom. It's no shame to move back in with your parents. But that can be your own space. You can still have that when you are desperate for this need. And it doesn't mean you can go start stealing stuff from people. There's one more comment I want to read before we really move on from this. I'll go look at the top one in case I didn't read it already.

But someone goes, if you are handy with an engine in any way, you could do something to disable the engine, something that will make it impossible to start. So he can't take it when you turn your back. Take a couple of spark plug wires off, remember how they go back on or remove a key fuse or something hard to diagnose. Oh, Pee, girl. This is why you got that grit.

Oh, Pee says, I did remove the key fuse. I didn't add that in the original post because I figured it made me look like a psycho. I think it's kind of smart. I love you. I love it. That's better than burning the thing down Morgan. Way better. Yeah.

And it's better than messing with the engine some way that it could hurt it. Yeah, because she does want to enjoy it and she worked really hard on that. Like being pregnant, working on an RV in the hot summer, whatever it was, I'd be so mad at my family members for doing this, especially my husband, my partner for not having my back. Well, I think big picture, the RV is one thing, but the scary part about this is your relationship.

This will, it's kind of a weird maker break situation that doesn't classically kind of sound like it, but it is. I think the resentment could build, and if he's willing to like not take her side like this and other problems, I think it could really be detrimental. Like the resentment is like a sinking ship.

I don't think I could get to the next problem. I would need this figured out. I would be like, this needs to be right somehow some way. Otherwise, I'm questioning a lot of everything going forward. Yeah. And someone, the top comment on this does say, you've got a problem with your boundary stomping in laws and your husband who just lets them. Why on earth would your mother-in-law give anyone your RV?

Much less one you've worked on for months, and why is your husband letting her walk all over him? So family helps family, huh? What has Jamie done to help you? She's having a fit because you don't want to watch her dogs and talking smack and you're supposed to just give her an expensive RV. I don't think so, not the asshole. Yeah, and you're supposed to just give her an expense of RV. I don't think so, not the asshole.

Yeah, and you're never give, the wording from the beginning was weird. Oh, just they'll give you their RV. They'll give right from the moment this thing started. Hell no. Not they'll let you use. No, it does sound like OP's husband has had like a complicated childhood. Someone does ask, has your husband always been a mommy's boy or is this a new behavior? And OP goes, he actually isn't even what I would consider a mommy's boy.

Both his parents failed him growing up and he ended up in the system for over two years before his mom got custody back. And then shouldn't even take him. He ended up bouncing between his grandparents and brother's home. So he isn't close to either of his parents, but for whatever reason, he still never says no to them. Damn, we need to get away. Which I think, like, I'm not a psychologist,

and like, I could guess all day, but when you grow up, like, almost like striving for that relationship with a parent, and you don't get it, and you're so ignored and neglected, you will do anything to just like get them to like, ah, have that aha moment. Oh my God, I love you. You're so great. Like he's probably trying to get some validation from his mom even now. And that's why he's like, whatever. Give her the RV. I'm just curious where the line would fall. Very serious therapy needs to be.

No, with what the mom would fall. Very curious. Therapy needs to be sucked. No, with what the mom would ask for, and have finally gone. And I don't want OP, or our great girl here to find out, I think, couples therapy, 100%. But he needs an individual therapy because that's a lot of trauma to go through as a little kid. True.

A lot of trauma. Okay, moving along. So this next one, 26 days old, coming from Am I the asshole? Titled Am I the asshole for telling my parents that if they give my brother money, I will stop giving them money. My female 32 brother 35 is trash. He has multiple baby mamas and is a deadbeat. He also is the apple of my mom's eye. He can do no wrong and is just misunderstood. My parents are retired and on a fixed budget.

I do well for myself and I help them out. I give them maybe $500 a month to help with groceries and bills. Every once in a while I will give them extra for an unexpected expense. No questions asked. My mom asked me for $2,000. I sent it to her. Strangely enough, I ran into my brother at a family wedding. I had been told that he could not attend the wedding because it was a destination wedding. Weird. Funny story, he actually missed the wedding because he hooked up

with some rando on an excursion and went to their resort. It was our cousin's wedding, and my aunt was pissed. She had to make special arrangements to get him included on the trip, since he only got the money last minute. She said my mom shouldn't have given him the money if he wasn't even going to show up. Then, she shut up, after she saw the look on my face. I enjoyed the wedding and had a great time.

When I got home, I went to see my parents. I asked my mom why she had asked for the $2,000. She lied and said something for the house. I asked what, she couldn't say. I told her what my aunt said. I told her and my father that from now on I wanted receipts for any money I gave them. I said I have no problem helping them, but I will be damned if I work my ass off for her to give my money to my piece of shit for other.

She started crying and my dad said that they weren't children and didn't answer to me. I agreed and walked out. I didn't talk to them for two months. My aunt called me yesterday and told me that my parents were thinking of going to the food bank since they didn't have any money. I said I'd given them $2,000 a couple of months ago, and that was more than my family of three spent on food in that amount of time. She said I knew damn well they'd given my money to my brother. I told her that he should probably pay them back then. She said I

was being a bitch. Am I the asshole? Well, no. I want 100% no. Not the asshole. But see, my gut reaction is, all right, that's the last dollar they get. Yeah. I mean, but the problem is, get. Yeah, I mean, but the problem is right, which is so. And honestly, the comment where it's like, we're not going to let we're not children, we're not going to listen to you. I mean, fine, but you're you're the ones coming to me asking me asking for money and for help. So fine. Like neither of us have to be the children or listen to anyone, but there's not gonna be any more money. Yeah, if you don't wanna abide by any guidelines, I'm giving you, then there's no more handouts. Like, and that's really hard.

And then the lie, always printed on how stuff you kept sinking further into this hole. It would take me a while to come back from that because it's just so infuriating when you're just genuinely trying to help people, especially your parents. It is very hard. It's something. I would literally get to a point where I'm like, I mean, I didn't hear any health stuff mentioned or any of that, but I would get to a point where I'm like, stuff mentioned or any of that, but I would get to a point where I'm like, go get part-time jobs. I mean, that is.

If you're going to just sit and waste my money and not tell me and lie to me about what you use it for and also lie to me when you actually need it or not, and now you're going to come, you know, creating this whole story about I, we have to go to the food bank and all this, which I know is not, may not be fake, but just be better to your kid if they're helping you out like this. Well, you know, the interesting about that is, it's not even the parents calling OP and being like, hey, you know, I get we messed up,

we shouldn't have given that money to your brother, but we're really struggling and we're, you know, needing more food and we might have to go to the food bank, which there's no shaman at all. Like I've said in the past, like I was living off a California foods damp card because of COVID and not working and all of this stuff.

So if you need those resources, you absolutely should use them and feel safe using them. However, they didn't even do that. They had the aunt call her and had the aunt guilt trip her. And all your poor parents, why aren't the parents calling it apologizing?

Yeah, it doesn't have to be a big thing. The food bank thing is irrelevant. It's being used, it's being weaponized. Yes, as a guilt trip to say. The guilt trip for it. Oh, you like, you probably should, you know, basically forgive them and start giving them more money. But I, you know, if the way this would have to go for me, I would throw the job thing out there. I would let them get to a point where it's like, all right, we're not gonna mess around

and steal our kids money like that again. And then it would get to a point where I get receipts, like she said, on exactly what the money spent on, and I can help out if it's, if I get five grocery store receipts and they're all about a hundred bucks, I'll send you 500. Or just get them a grocery store gift card.

No, that's right, but that's fine. But sometimes gift cards can be a huge waste of money too. You could lose them and things like that. Yeah, stuff happens. But it's better than like, hey, you don't want to give me a receipt. You don't want to follow my rules. But I'm not going to let you starve. Because I've been the kid in this situation

where you do feel so bad. And so you hand over the money. But why don't they comply then? Because get your damn receipt. Parents are prideful. That is something like I had to give my dad a lot of money. I was basically paying for both of us to live for a while. And I would get upset when he would go out to dinner

and spend money on taking his girlfriend out to dinner. And it would really bug me because I'm like, I'm like, I'm giving you my harder and money, but when you hand over money to someone, you don't really have the right to determine what they do with it. Unless you set the boundary ahead of time,

like O.P. is trying to do here. And then the parents are saying, absolutely not. No, okay, fine, no money done. Just be done. Right, but it's... Because no one fine, no money then. Just be done. Right, but it's. Because no one's happy and it's just hurting your relationship. The 2000 was wrong though.

That is just like, she knew exactly what she was doing when she called and asked for that 2K. Yeah, it was too good. She knew exactly. And then the loser doesn't even go. Just the go on vacation on parents money. Yeah, because he's been spoiled and mommy has enabled him. And like the top comment says it, oh, Pete, you're not the asshole.

Your parents are. They've created this monster. And now you're supporting him. They're using you as a cash cow. Yes, it's true. They don't answer to you. But if you're footing the bill, then they damn well, better tell you where the money is going.

And your aunt calling you a bitch is funny. If she cares so much about your parents, she should be footing the bill, which I highly doubt because people are always one to talk, but never to sign the check. Stand your ground and let them suffer little so they understand. They won't die over eating some food

from the food bank for once. And there are a lot of programs out there for seniors on fixed income. Meals on wheels is amazing. And if anyone wants to volunteer for them, you should food banks exist and are very valuable in communities. Also try to donate some cans if you have them. Like there's so many resources and If you have them, like there's so many resources and there's no shame in them. And she got taken advantage of and I wouldn't help them either, not the asshole. The brother, the brother can start a nice little payment plan. 100 bucks. Here you go. Here's the thing. Like, what if the daughter was just gone all of a sudden?

What are the parents going to do? Fan for themselves. They would have to figure it out. They would have to get to the point where they get the job. The easy part time job, a few hours a day, get some buy. They would have to really consider their spending and everything. Because the position she's worked herself into is being no matter what, it's a failsafe. We always have a backup. So they're never on the edge of like,

okay, yep, we might actually lose it this time. We have to change something. They know they will never will. And that's where, you know, it's great what she's doing. It's great to be able to get in a position where you can turn around and support your parents after they did all the supporting you for bringing you up in this world because that's not easy, that's not cheap.

And I never want to discount, you know, what a parent has done to bring up a kid and raise them in this world. But at the same time. But at the same time, don't take advantage and she needs to get herself out of that position so that she can still help them like she wants to, but not be taking advantage of. Yeah, and that is a hard line as someone that like, I have really struggled with this, like myself.

It's like, how do you watch someone struggle and not help when you have the means? Like, it is a very hard boundary to uphold for yourself. So I admire her a lot. I think the grit to be able to stand your ground in that mental strength. 100%. Not the asshole. I'm very impressed by her. Yeah, just don't bite the hand that feeds you. And that applies to so much of life. People go out of their way to give you an opportunity. Don't go screw it up and ruin their reputation. You know, this can extend to so many things in life

and even down to the most basic like this. 100%. Okay, moving along. One of this week's partners is first to leave. How do you guys pick your wines? I know for me, I usually run through the wine aisles, finding the cutest labels, and just get those. And half the time I get home, open it up, try it, and it's not very good. Well, with first leaf, they take all the

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Try first leaf dot com slash THT. Link is also in the description. Okay, this next one is pretty interesting. It could have also been a part of the pretty peculiar theme. I didn't really know where to put it, but I just felt like she was kind of a badass for standing some ground. Is it less maddening? It's very strange, especially you'll see why. I'm getting hot. You getting hot? You get feisty. Yeah, I got one part of the hot and logo right now. Okay. So this one is titled Am I the asshole for telling my husband that I can't stay with him when our newborn is still small I have three step kids 12 male 11 female 8 male who are damn good kids and I've been involved with them for six years now

And while there have been ups and downs I I get along with them all really well. Generally speaking, I get along really well with their mother as well, but this issue is dividing everyone. I gave birth to a baby girl three weeks ago. In the beginning, I fully expected the overbearing behavior, but after multiple talks and explanations, I'm at my wit's end. So basically, whenever I'm breastfeeding the baby, my stepkids are either trying to hug her or kiss her or write down at my tit level and talking to her. Almost every single feeding.

They refuse to leave the baby alone when I'm nursing, despite me voicing several times how uncomfortable it makes me feel that I have four kids hanging off of me while I'm trying to breastfeed, not to mention when they lean down to kiss the baby during this time, which is just stupid inappropriate. Or when she's taken an app, they will go in and touch her and play with her feet or rub her head and immediately wake her up. So then she's cranky as hell from a complete lack of sleep.

And again, no matter how many times I explain to the kids and my husband that they need to stop and why they continue to do it. And they are always so loud about it too. Whenever they talk to her, it's basically them screaming. Like if she starts to fuss, they are immediately right down in her face saying, quote, hey, you stopped that right now. I'm getting nauseous.

I barely eat because this entire environment is making me sick to my stomach. I am overwhelmingly uncomfortable around my husband and stepkids now because they don't listen or even care to listen. So this morning was strike one because I had just gone the baby down and the youngest stepkid woke her up by screaming. Then after she starts crying, all three of the kids come running in and are in her face and won't move for me to pick her up and calm her down. And then I went to

nurse her 10 minutes later and stepdaughter comes in and literally rests her head on my arm right beside my exposed tit touching the baby. I just got up and packed. I told my husband I won't be staying with him and his kids as long as the baby is still small because I can't handle them and their lack of boundaries. Both him and stepkids' mother are saying, I'm an asshole, because the kids are just excited, and I'm taking this experience away from them by being, quote,

greedy and weird. I'm just fucking tired and grossed out by the lack of consideration and people constantly write at my tits as if it isn't inappropriate. I'm staying at a hotel until further notice. Am I the asshole? Another no.

This is a string. I don't know if we've had this many in a row. I'll find an asshole. I'll mix it up for the next one. I, you know, kids, kids will do it, kids will do. And when you're the one trying to uphold the discipline or the boundaries and you have this completely inconsiderate husband that is doing nothing, but basically enabling all of it, it's going to be very hard to win that battle. You need to be

united front as parents, and especially when it comes to showing your kids what's right and what's wrong, you cannot be divided. No, especially because she's the stepmom too. Like these are his kids. Yeah, she's in a very delicate position. Very delicate. And I would have to, I would probably hit that line too of, I got to, I got to start taking matters into my own hands because no one's listening to me, no one's respecting me. And I'm going to lose my damn mind. I would have lost my mind after the first time it happened. Like she is not a dairy cow at the state fair.

This is not a spectator little. Watch the cow give birth and feed its baby. So what do you do? Go touch the tit and milk the teet. Do you get the husband to finally do some shit? I mean, you could give him an ultimatum, which is kind of like what she's doing. Like, I can't stay here. This is complete and utter lack of disrespect for my boundaries.

Also, how inappropriate, like these kids are 12, 11, and 8. Like this is just so inappropriate. Like, how is the mom even okay with her kids putting their face in another woman's breast? Like, what? What? I just think they're seeing it from a whole different angle. I don't know if the husband is manipulated by his acts or still just, is clueless. Or the three of like their family unit, like those kids, they did that growing up. Like the one is 12, like when that sibling was a baby,

like maybe that's just normal for that. Yeah, but you don't have the conscious, you don't have that conscious, like, is, is developed when you're three and four as you do at 12. Well, and I get wanting to be involved and excited with a new baby, but then you sit with a boppy pillow and you hold the baby and you can give the baby a bottle. Well, yeah, you can be involved and excited, but it's not putting your head down on your stepmom's tit. No, it'd be the dad saying, Hey, guys, we're going to go in this room and play.

We're going to stay out of here. She's got her space to do her thing. And that's as easy as it has to be. But just like the last story, we're creating, or maybe the first story, we're creating some monsters here because these kids are gonna grow up and not respect. Anybody, they're not gonna respect teachers,

they're not gonna respect anyone in their life because they're just like, oh, whatever, we get yelled at and we get told not to do things, but we do them and don't get in trouble. Yeah. There's no consequence. I also like, what's up with them yelling? Like yelling at a three week old baby?

No, hey, you stopped that. I'm not gonna be able to deal with like yelling screaming kids at 11 and 12. I'll tell you that. I think there's a big epidemic in this world of people that do not realize how loud they talk. I have some friends that you could be two feet away

from them and you will get yelled at. Like it is as a sensitive ear girly, like I wear earplugs when I go to concerts. Like I am all for protecting my ears. We even wear them at the bar. We do wear them everywhere now. I mean, I love my earplugs. They're on my keychain.

I love them. I have multiple pairs for different purses. And they just feel safe. I feel so happy. So I do have friends like that. And I've literally had to be like, like, hey, you're kind of yelling. But I think this is very common.

And I don't know if it's because our generation already has hearing damage. And they don't realize how loud they're yelling or how loud they listen to things. But in OT, we actually had these little tubes. And I don't remember the name. I could put the link in the description if you want to buy them on Amazon and like heal the world. Maybe your kids are yellowers, I don't know.

But it's this talky tube. And if your kids are yellower, they have to put it up to their own ear and talk into it when they're talking. And they realize pretty quickly, they're fucking yelling. Like maybe these kids all need fucking talky tubes because they sound annoying and miserable. A new baby three weeks old, I'm losing my mind

just hearing this. That's fine, but good luck doing that when you can't even get the boundary sets have them not near you while you're doing. Dude, I want to duct tape the talky tubes to their heads. That's fine, but that's one small piece of this issue. I know. The husband and her, the husband not chipping in as the bigger brother. That's where it's coming from.

Yes, because again, that you brought up, she is the stepmom. He will have more authority over the kids, especially because as a stepmom, you don't want to be the one who makes the kids not like you. It's not your role. You're not their parent. Unless that's decided upon, like you came in at, you know, six months old for a baby and the birth mom and you know, whatever is. Yes, you can be a parent. You can discipline my kids. You're also their mom.

Like, that's a different guideline, but like, no, these are older kids. And it's probably not within her right to discipline them. And tough position. Very. And so you're not going to be the one that's sitting there and you get uncomfortable. And you're not going to turn and be like, and then just light them up. No. You need your partner or lack thereof to step up and do something. Well, also, like thinking about the baby, this is a three-week-old baby where sleep is so,

so important. And feeding and quality feeding at that age is so important. This is how mom and baby bond. This is crucial time in development. And so for the husband and not get it, not the asshole, you go stay at that hotel. You enjoy room service and you enjoy your break because I don't know how you've done it for three weeks. I wouldn't be you've done it for three weeks. I wouldn't be able to do it for three minutes. Yeah, the kids are a byproduct of the main problem here.

You know what's interesting? OP does have an edit. Stop with the, you must hate your step-kids talk. I really don't know how or why that level of ignorance is being reached for here. I love my step-kids, but no. I don't want them anywhere near my breast, and no, I don't want them anywhere near my breasts, and no, I don't want them waking up the baby and making her fussy.

I don't know how having boundaries, voiced boundaries I might add, is somehow being translated into me hating my stepkids. And no, I'm not withholding visitation. They can still see the baby, but no, I can't be around them permanently right now.

Yeah. How did anyone get that? I don't know, but I don't think she hated them. No, it's just she hated them touching her tints. You're freaking annoyed. They're infeating. You're annoyed, you're not being respected. And that's why I'm saying the kids, the kids are not our focus here.

The kids are the fiery effects of what's happening, the most obvious right in your face, a fact of not having a partner in this. Yeah. What's he doing? So top comment on this one, what does your husband do when the children behave inappropriately in other situations? Is he always lackluster with enforcing boundaries and rules or only in this situation?

O.P. responds, it's really only when it comes to the baby. Otherwise, he's very big on boundaries and respect. I think maybe he's worried about the dynamics between his kids and a new baby. Oh, there's plenty of time for that. And maybe the kids being jealous of the baby or maybe the kids feeling not as loved as the new baby. So maybe he's just scared to enforce anything

in regards to the new baby. Right. So if this were to be us and I'm her, I would sit you down and say, listen, I need you to back me up on this. I'm losing my damn mind. This isn't right. And then if he has those concerns, he can voice them in that moment. And I would respond and say, well, it's just there can be a balance. We can have them hold the baby, we can sit on the couch, we can do whatever, but it cannot be while I'm doing this. And I also just need some goddamn time

and they cannot wake the baby up while it's sleeping. What don't you understand? Yeah. Waking the baby up while it's sleeping? Not negotiable, do not fucking do. Do you think that's like, gonna impact their future relationship? Yeah.

If I was getting woken up, nonstop, by people tickling my fucking feet, we're not gonna be friends. I don't know if you remember that. We're, I remember early stuff, not three weeks old. No, of course she's not gonna remember that, but. You know what I'm saying? It's subconsciously maybe. Yeah, it's really, it needs to just be a sit down with him.

Listen, here's what I need. Because obviously he does it in some other aspects. Yeah, there are a lot of comments from OP. I want to read a couple of them, but I'll try to remember to post the links in the description on YouTube for those that want to like read every single one. So someone goes, well, at least the kids aren't hitting her or being mean to her, they seem to adore her. The kids seem to like you too.

By putting their head on you while you're nursing the baby is sweet. Sounds like you don't like your stepkids at all. Such a shame. This is all a part of the bonding process. And by you doing what you're doing is pushing the kids away. And eventually they'll just not want anything to do with the kid. Then you'll be crying

because you have anything to do with the kid. You're the asshole. So this is normal from what we're gathering from the people and residents. I don't know. So OP responds. Believe it or not, not everyone is comfortable with eight to 12-year-olds, staring at their exposed nipple. I don't find anything sweet about it. And to be frank, I find it repulsive. You do you.

I'm not that person and never will be. It's a clear boundary that I voice several times. My stepdaughter putting her head on my arm right next to my exposed breast and touching the baby was something I already expressed to her directly at that it made me uncomfortable. Don't reach and say that I don't like my stepkids I do but I don't like them right at tit level like they're waiting for their turn to nurse. Yeah literally. And maybe they are curious about you in the body. And they want to see the action.

There's a time and place. I mean, for that. Geez. Someone goes, you can always go to your bedroom and lock the door to feed your child. Be honest with yourself. And admit you feel differently about your own child opposed to your stepchildren.

Sounds like you're the asshole. OP responds, I am in my bedroom when I nurse the baby with the door closed. My husband refuses to put locks on any of the doors. Honestly, you and the other comment are sound kind of ignorant, immediately jumping to she hates her stepkids. How, quote, how dare you not let your stepkids look at your tits. Jesus fucking Christ. Seriously. Basically, people are just like asking a bunch of questions like do you have anyone else you can stay with? The only living relative I have left is my mom and she's a bit of an animal hoarder so it's not really a clean environment for a baby. I have considered it

but it's really not safe. So, oh, he deserves a safe clean. Like, she should be at home. These people should be fucking respectful. But again, a lot of comments. Just her trying to like explain herself a lot. A lot of people are really just not getting her point of view and kind of going, you're the asshole. Well, and why is her wish for what makes her uncomfortable and not, why is it wrong? I don't know. Like in itself, why is that wrong? Do you want to be comfortable with your newborn

child? That's not wrong. But everyone's saying, no, you, you owe these kids this and you're supposed to do this. Like, no, the fuck you're not. Yeah. Can't you decide that for you and your kid? You would think so. She, she has a lot of grit. I think the not allowing locks on the door is an interesting thing, especially like their bedroom door. And she does give some insight into that in the comments that her husband won't allow locks because my youngest stepson has ADHD and sometimes has a violent outbursts. So for safety, for him, he took all the locks off the door except for outside doors and someone goes, you need a lock on your bedroom door at least. I've tried telling him that but he won't go for it. Someone goes violent outbursts. So yeah, a lock on the nursery door pronto.

And OP goes, her nursery is actually in our bedroom right now. His violent outbursts are mainly directed at himself or objects, not other people. Like he will hit himself in the face repeatedly or slam doors or throw things, but he's never actually hurt anyone else. Right now, his doctors are in the process of getting him tested for a potential autism diagnosis.

We aren't sure what's going on, which that is very, like they're trying to make sure he has a safe environment. He's protected. Like the last thing you would want is him to lock himself in a bedroom and punch himself in the face repeatedly. Like that's terrible, but a bedroom door punch themself in the face repeatedly. Like that's terrible. But, you know what? A bedroom door that you can lock, and maybe there's a key,

like hanging off the knob that you punch in a code to get if you need to get like in that room. I don't know, but you need, you need to be able to have some privacy. Right, so, you know, let's look out for him, but let's also do that for your wife and your newborn child. Yeah, last comment I'll read, people breastfeed in public

all the time. People don't get naked in public all the time unless they're sick and twisted. So that's an apple's or oranges situation. Someone must have commented above and made a comment to be like, well, people breastfeed in public, you should be comfortable with people watching you. Yeah. And OP goes, it doesn't matter, people breastfeed in public, you should be comfortable with people watching you. Yeah.

And OP goes, it doesn't matter if people breastfeed in public all the time. The point of the matter is that I would not be, because it's my boundary. Right. And that's the thing, like to each their own, yes, to some people, it is just a breast, it is very natural and it's a part of anatomy

and that is the baby's food source and it's just a breast, it is very natural and it's a part of anatomy and that is the baby's food source and it's not inherently sexual but at the same time like that's her fucking boundary and people need to get with the program or this lady's going to be living in an extended stay hotel. Yep. I'm here for it. You got grit girl. Yep.

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Spelled BA BBEL.com slash THT spelled B-A-B-B-E-L.com slash THT. Rules and restrictions may apply. Oh my God, that ad that everyone just listened to came at the perfect time for my tummy trouble break. Wow, too much kale. I'm just kind of dying right now. It does not happen that fast. It does when you have IBS. Yeah. I'm just kind of dying right now. It does not happen that fast. It does when you have IBS. Yeah. I avoid kale. Yeah, it's really good. But damn, it's me up. Okay, so this next one. Am I the asshole for telling my friends that my husband isn't well read background? My husband, let's call him Will. Is in the Navy, and he works on nuclear reactors on submarines.

We've been together for four years married for two. We were at a small house party with a few friends of mine from college, and we were discussing books we've all read. When at one point, one of my friends, let's call him Steve, asked Will, quote, so will, what's your favorite book? And my husband responds, quote, Oh, I really like to kill a mockingbird. Then Steve gives him a quizzical look

and asks him, quote, have you read any books outside of high school? And Will hesitates a bit and says, outside of manuals at work, I guess I haven't. So then I try to explain to Steve. Oh yeah, he's not well educated, so he's never had a reason to be well read. We all had a good laugh, but then Will didn't really contribute a whole lot to the conversation the rest of the night. On the car ride back, Will was pretty quiet. I ask if he's fine, and all he says in a sarcastic tone is, Peachy.

I ask him if I did anything to upset him and he responds back with, quote, I don't know, I don't think I'm educated enough to properly explain myself. Ouch. I tell him I didn't tell my friends that he was unintelligent just that he wasn't college educated. He accused me of minimizing how hard his navy schooling was, but I explained that military education and college education are simply not the same. We continued to fight until we got home.

I texted my sister about what happened. She called me a huge asshole and that I need to apologize. And now I'm having second thoughts about how I handled this. Am I the asshole, Reddit? Yeah, of course. Why did you keep digging yourself in the hole more?

Why do you have to defend your, are you embarrassed by doing something wrong so you defend it to try and make it seem like it was right. We're all guilty of it sometimes, but I mean, your partner's telling you, you hurt my feelings. Come on. Yeah. How did she think it wouldn't hurt his feelings? I don't know.

Dude works on fucking nuclear submarines. Nuclear reactors on submarines, and he's not well educated. I'm sorry. I went to college in grad school and I don't think I could handle that. I don't think books are a measure of smartness because not at all. I was forced to read some in college. I don't remember one damn thing about them and they certainly didn't contribute to me being smarter or not right now. I don't read books. I read Hawking's books over like COVID and those I guess people would consider a challenging read, but I was just doing it just because I love physics and space, but I don't care how many books you read. I get a lot of CEOs and very polished, well-read people say, you know, books are the key to life and being full of wisdom and everything. I'm sure books

help a lot. And there's also people that love to just read. I'm not someone that loves to sit and read. I don't have the time to, maybe later in life, I'll find myself reading more, but it shouldn't be a measure of, oh, whether you're intelligent or not, especially in this circle where clearly, it's like a mini little book club with you and all your friends and your husband's kind of the odd one out with that.

So you was just answering the question genuinely. Oh, this is a book I enjoyed. And then for the one guy to pick, oh, if you're not read since in high school, like, who cares, dude? Are you are you so proud of all your book reading that anyone who hasn't read as many books as you as less than? Which I mean, like, I just this whole thing is goofy to me. Like, I have a bunch of friends that are very avid readers.

I have one friend that reads 10 books a month at least. She posts, like, posts the little ratings on her Instagram story. Because it's their thing. It's her thing. It's very fun. It's very enjoyable for her. But I don't know how this person could ever go and be like, yeah, he's not well educated. He's not well read. You could have just said,

Will doesn't really read a lot. Who are you trying to impress here, Steve? You're trying to make your husband the butt of everyone's joke. Everyone's laughing but him. It's not funny. Who are you trying to impress here? Those are shitty people. If that's how you're impressing them is tearing another person down. You got a crush on Steve Poor Will here. Actually though. Will's got the grit to be able to put up with that and not like react even like I just try to answer the question and Be a part of the conversation.

I know. And he did give a really good book. I don't think I've ever even read that book. The way I picture the circles, like this, this Steve guys and like this really turtle next sweater and he goes, oh, you haven't read a book since Boulevard? No. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, you like I'm envisioning the brother from step-brothers.

Yeah, I just I just like the genius smart guy and I feel like it was just so I'm blanking on the word just like to put someone down or in a like inferior. I don't know. Let me think about it. That's a, like, inferior, I don't know. Let me think about it. That's a big word, Vamo. No, see now, I'm not well read because I'm forgetting the word. Well, and there's one thing about,

like, you're not well read, okay. But that doesn't, like, saying he's not well educated. That's just not true. Yeah, you're either love books or you don't. But again, I don't think they're a measure of intelligence. Well, I also think that OP is an asshole for the comment, like you said in the car. She was just kind of like digging herself a hole. But I explained that military education and college education are simply not the same. How does she know? He accused me of minimizing how hard his Navy schooling was, which you did.

And then you did again when you said the Navy education and college education aren't the same. I would argue the Navy is probably harder. The Navy you couldn't just sleep in and skip class when you wanted to. Like I would say the Navy education was probably harder than the average Bears College education, at least mine, I can say that about mine. 100%.

I mean, I had some hard tests, some couple hard classes. College was pretty easy. I think it, like yeah, and I think it depends on, I guess, what you go for. 100%. I, I, you guys, chemistry's not my strength. I couldn't get more than a C in chemistry.

I just sucked at it. So it depends on what you go for. Like, obviously I wouldn't have been able to go for biomechanical engineering or some smart shit. Oh, my stem queens out there. But like, fuck, he's working on nuclear reactors. Let's not minimize this poor guy. Right, if I like, they would be

litaling him in the moment where it's like, oh, I see, yes, all right, yes. I just can't imagine my partner thinking that of me because it just doesn't show like, yeah, you know, she wasn't great in the moment and yeah, he's not well read, whatever. But you're like, you're kind of exposing the fact that your partner thinks you're uneducated and dumb and your job isn't that big of a deal.

But she would be really quick to say, no, why don't think that? I don't think that was just, you know, in the moment, thinking about books and it just happened, it was a mistake. Which, it doesn't have to be a deal breaker. But it's how it gets approached going forward. And the correct reaction should have been, no, but he works on submarines and he does this. And, you know, the schooling and the training he went through, it's pretty incredible. That's a supportive partner.

That's how she should have answered. So no comments from OP, Adal, top comment, you're the asshole. Let's put aside your husband's incredibly difficult job for a moment. On what planet does anyone think calling their partner uneducated is okay? That is never okay, ever. Let's circle back to the job. Do you understand what it takes to get into a nuke sub? These folks go through extensive testing to even be considered. Then they go through even more extensive training and education. These people are super smart. Their job is insanely stressful. of training and education. These people are super smart.

Their job is insanely stressful. I know two guys who were on a nuclear sub, two of the smartest people I know. And I was thinking in my head when I read the thing that the Steve guy said his quote, like, what's the last book you've read? And he probably can't even tell people because it's probably some classified fucking book. Like he probably knows so much shit that he can't even tell people because it's probably some classified fucking book. Like he probably knows so much shit that he can't even talk about. Are you kidding me?

Like what the fuck is a nuclear reactor sub? Nuclear reactors, don't those things blow up? Like this is a risky job. The thing is, is, I'm heated for will. I guarantee his training and his expertise is a lot more than the average Joe's experience in college. 100%. Where are we just talking to my grandma's husband, Joe, about his experience on like a nuclear

sub? Was his nuclear? He wasn't on a nuclear one, was he? Or was it nuclear? See, there's like nuclear powered, which I think a lot of them are because how else would they have fuel? That's crazy. But there's also like ones that care. Have nuclear warheads.

Yeah, so. Did Joe tell you what one he was on? He said, I remember, I was a little drunk, this is on my cousin's wedding, you guys. But I remember him being like, I can't talk about that still or something. No, he could talk about it. He just wouldn't tell me at what depth they operated at.

But then eventually I got him to tell me and we went through, like a couple of close calls where all of a sudden they had to go like weapons ready. Because their mission wasn't, their entire mission of like for years of being underwater was not too fire. Their mission was not to ever push that button. And if they never pushed it, it was a successful mission.

They had some moments and it's just such cool stories. It's like a freaking movie when he talks about it because all of a sudden they all did go into that room, which is red, just like it is in the movie, the big control room. Yeah. And they were getting commands that orders that potentially, they were, I mean, they were weapons hot. They were ready. Oh my god It was just like so while that was such a crazy time It's really scary. I feel like where they're almost there again, but I'll tell you what they're not gonna put people in that position That are dumb that are unintelligent uneducated

They're people that have been through it. Absolutely. Hopefully OP got the message and figured it out and apologized to Will. Tired to forget that one. Well, okay, moving along. Okay, this next one is seven days old coming from Amideashole. Amideashole for telling the lady at the pet shelter that she is actively hurting adoption chances?

I, 24 female, have been trying to adopt a cat for a while from this local shelter. I'm not new to owning cats. I've always been surrounded by them growing up. So when I moved away from my family home, I knew I wasn't going to be taking the cats with me because they had bonded to my parents, the house, the dog, and they were technically my dad's babies, so that would just be cruel to separate them.

I moved a couple of hours from home to be closer to the college I'm attending, and I am really homesick. Like many, I deal with anxiety and depression, and it feels very heavy lately, even with my partner living with me. I always feel better when I'm around animals and my partner and I are big cat lovers. So we decided to look at a shelter that specializes in senior cats for one to adopt.

I never got any positive answer back. So I decided to go in person and ask the lady in charge of accepting or refusing applications. If there was something more I could add to the applications in the future, that would hire my chances of being accepted since the shelter is at max capacity, but we keep getting rejected. She pointed to the part on the forum that asked,

what would make you give up a pet and said my answer was the problem. My answer, quote, the only reason I would ever give up a pet is if I were to die and nobody in out of my friends or family could take it in. I would never voluntarily give up my pet. Sounds like a great answer. I was confused by what the problem was to that question and she answered that I am not

responsible enough if I don't have an immediate backup person to take the pet if I die. I was baffled because I have my partner and my parents who would take my pet in if I died. And in this scenario, I painted an extreme situation to say, I would never willingly give a pet away. I explained this to a lady and pointed out that she was being a little nitpicky on this one, but she insisted that if I was a little nitpicky on this one.

But she insisted that if I was a good candidate, I would have a better plan than let my family or friends house the cat in case of death. I was feeling really upset by the way she was speaking to me and the attitude, so I told her, you know, if you weren't being so unreasonable, maybe the shelter wouldn't be so packed right now. Yes, animals need good homes, and it should be monitored, but you are actively harming the chances of them being adopted into homes. They are already in the later stages of life. Don't they deserve to live as many days

possible in a warm home instead of a cage? This is what may have made me an asshole, because the lady started crying and called her coworker over to escort us out Telling her coworker that we said that she was making sure the cats died alone I wasn't intending to make her feel that way. I was just trying to point out a flaw in the choice process The shelter lady said we were not welcome to adopt as we were assholes I'm uncertain and feel really confused by it all. My fiancee says that they are extremely fishy and I shouldn't let their dramatic get to me.

So am I the asshole? No. I'm glad you said it because I would go over there and say it right now. This is a big problem in a lot of places. Literally anti-shelter. This is like, why do you even work there? You like seeing animals get brought in and never get homes and have to die in this horrible place?

Oh. That's what it sounds like. I know. And we went to the Burbank animal shelter recently and this is just my chance before you continue to plug all the amazing animals there. I mean, there's the most friendly, perfect dogs I've ever met at a shelter. And there's cats, rabbits, there's turtles, oddly, guinea pigs.

I mean, they had everything. So I'll put pictures in the YouTube if you're watching so you can see some of the puppies. But if you're looking for an animal, go adopt. Okay, go Justin. Whoever runs a shelter needs to get rid of this virus that is this lady infecting the whole goddamn place. She is single-handedly Yeah, she is choosing to make these have these animals die alone Especially cats cats have a really hard time getting adopted. How is anyone gonna beat this girl in an application? What's the answer?

one going to beat this girl in an application. What's the answer? Oh, well, so if I die, then it will go to my mom. She's already agreed. Here's her signature signed. She agreed. And then if my mom dies, then it goes to my dad. But then if he dies, it passes to my sister. And my sister said she will leave college because she can't have cats at her college to make sure she will buy a new place by herself quit school just so she can take care of the cat. That's what this lady wants. Okay. I think she's just stupid. But I will say I have seen a lot of discourse online

that shelters a lot of places are like this. There's even one shelter that this very special dog breed, I'm forgetting it, got returned to, and probably like a fucking Lasso opso or something, I don't know. And so this dog got returned there. And the breeder found out from social media or something and seen the dog,

the breeder contacted the shelter, saying, I bred that dog, I will happily take that dog back and make sure it finds a good home. My buyers were supposed to contact me first. Any good breeder, you can ask them this. They will take one of their dogs back. No questions asked. And so the shelter would not give this dog to them. Would not.

Happy healthy home going back. And there's so many other people that it's like, I lost my golden retriever and the shelter had it and they wouldn't give it to me. And there's so many fucking crazy rules. Like, oh, there's one shelter I come across. Can't adopt out of state. Need to have a fence in yard.

Need to be able to have access to a big yard. Like, what the fuck fuck we live in LA? There's dog running trails. There's parks. You can go walk in. There's things. There's hiking trails. Like, not everyone has a fucking...

What's the point of the shelter then? My question exactly. So I love this girl. I think she had some tenacity to tell that lady off because you have people willing to adopt and I get understaffed and underfunded, but let's get these animals good homes. Especially when you are at full capacity, come on. Yeah, that was nice about the Bermank one, is that they didn't have all their cages, they're kennels full. Well, and they don't, um, I don't think they're a kill shelter.

Mm-hmm. Cause how old was, um, the poor little asteroid, her name was asteroid, right? She was, um, an Anatolian shepherd. She wasn't that old. She had just been there for over a year. Um, if anyone needs a big guard dog for their farm, there's a very nice Anatolian shepherd. There was two of them.

One, even, I was so sad. He must have gotten his ears cut off when he was a puppy. And really good dogs. The one that had been there for a year was smart, though. She was really cute. She'd come up and put her, she'd kind of not look at you, but put her whole side up against the little,

front of the enclosure. She wanted her booty scratched. She should give her a little scratch. She was so cute. And then we went around to the other side. She came along and just went up against the hatch. Like, yep. Like she's like, you know what to do. She was such a good dog. I've never met better dogs at a shelter in my entire life. They were such good dogs. Oh, that's going to be us. When we get our new house. We're just gonna foster and make sure we can... We're gonna like have a new dog on every podcast episode

and be like, everyone, this is Charlie. Come adopt him. We need to get a little Vess. Yeah. Adopt me. Adopt me Vess. That'll be really good. And then if we deal with some kind of lady like this,

I will lose my goddamn mind. Yeah, top comment on this one. I'm not the asshole. No one, not pet owners, not parents, has a 100% locked in no failed plan for when they die. They have preferences. They may have what they think is a solid plan, but no guarantees.

That shelter is way too picky. Hopefully there are others in your area you can adopt from. Yeah, true. Right. For your sake, yes. This, I'm sorry, my face was excited. I think that's why you stopped talking. There is another comment from someone, a lot of smaller shelters are just fronts for hoarding

animals. It gets even worse with rescues. When I was in the market for adopting a small dog, older dog, a few rescues told me I couldn't adopt because I was a renter, even though I informed them of relatives with their own houses who could take the dog should the worst happen. Let these dogs go crazy shelters. Yeah. Especially when it's a good home. Like do I get being like stingy about who you adopt out to? Cause there's some good people. They're already coming to you. They're not even going to a breeder.

They're coming to you to save older dogs and cats. Yeah. This person goes, I got rejected from a rescue shelter because I wouldn't take the cat. They recommended I adopt. We got to move on. So straight. Yeah.

This is, I think, a big part of this. Just from the discourse I saw. So if anyone has shelter connections, we got to make sure they they're doing good job because a lot of people I saw on these posts were like, and this is why I went to a breeder because I got turned down from a shelter. Like you have people willing to take these dogs. What is the point? We gotta move. We gotta move forward. Okay.

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This one is 20 days, 27 days old. Am I the asshole for telling my son that village you wanted doesn't exist since you burnt it to the ground. Hmm, good metaphor. This is a bit complicated. I am a stepmom to five wonderful kids. I became their stepmom when the oldest was nine. I adopted all of them but one and that is Nick.

He never wanted me to be his mom, which is fine. The moment he turned 18, he made it very clear he doesn't care about me at all. I wasn't invited to his wedding any holidays and so on if he was hosting. My last straw was when he told me that he will come to Christmas that I was hosting if I left. So we are very low contact. Along with that, he has blown up every sibling relationship. He has two girls now, and he called me up. This was a surprise, and we started talking.

After a while, he started complaining about not getting help at all to raise his kids. He asked me to watch them on Sunday and to step up as a grandparent. I told him the reason the village doesn't exist to raise his kids is due to him burning that village down. He called me a jerk and hung up. My husband is iffy on the situation, but told me it's my call since I would be the

one to watch the kids most of the time since he travels for work. So I am posting here. Am I the asshole? No, you ain't the asshole. No, no. I mean, you kind of sealed your fate. You made the bed, made your own bed. It's time to lay in it. You've got to face what you've done. This is like going out and wrecking a bunch of shit and then being, oh, sorry, nevermind. Or I'm trying to not say like a horrible crime. I'm trying to come up with something that's like,

you go and do all this and now you got to face the consequences. You can't just skate through life, treating people like shit, and then expecting everyone to be like, oh, yeah, that was fun time back then, but what do you need now? I'm ready.

Like, you need help with your kids, or can I come clean up your house? Because you've been so wonderful to me my whole life. The audacity of him to even ask her, hey, step up and be a grandparent. You excluded me from all of these holidays. I wasn't invited to your wedding. So intentionally, directly.

I was hosting Christmas at my house, and you told everyone the only way you would come, is if I left my house and the party I was hosting, fuck you, dude. And now you've crossed off every now and then on your list to come help you raise your own kids. And you got to me. Also that language helped me raise my kids. The only one that signed up to raise your kids is you. You can ask for help for babysitting, but people aren't raising your kids. That's your job as a fucking parent. Why don't you step up and be a grandparent?

Yes. When I have treated you as one so nicely over the years. Why don't you step up and be a dad? Just a food for thought there. No, I would not dare take the bait. It's not going to, I don't think the relationship's gonna change because of this. I don't think all of a sudden it's gonna be like,

no, he's just gonna, he's looking at her as a means. He doesn't care about her. He's looking at her as just a, there's no acknowledgement. If I got to suck it up and call her, the baby said the girls, I'll eat it. So she'll watch the girls. The only way in hell you'd ever consider

is if there was a big life change, lots of apologies, lots of acknowledgement of the past, and just a complete 180 in life flip. And someone who, sure, may not have been the best person, but they're trying to turn around and change their life and be better. Yeah. Which is possible.

Possible. It doesn't apply here, but that's the only case in which I would ever even consider then being like, sure, you know what? I'll give it a try and I'll try. I'll come help. I'll come help once. What are your thoughts on the husband being iffy

on this situation? And there's no mention of the husband's involvement throughout the years when Nick was being a terrorist to this woman. Yeah, that is true. I don't really know what it means to be iffy, iffy on like, oh, you're not, you're not going to do it, but you probably should. Is it that kind of iffy? Or is it iffy like you probably shouldn't because it's been such a weird relationship? I can't tell what side iffy's on. Yeah, okay.

So we do have some comments from OP. One of them info, what is your relationship like with your other four kids or rather your four kids? It sounded like you never adopted Nick. Also, as Nick ever said, why does it like you? As a mom, it seems really weird that he'd want to leave his kids with a woman he clearly despises. Lending towards asshole, but I'm a little confused.

I'm not his mother. Never will be in his words. He is the middle child. He never would give examples, but I am too much according to him. My relationship with the other four is great. I personally think he realized he isolated himself from the family. Info, has he had any kind of therapy? Wasn't really a thing when the kids were growing up. It was 30 years ago. If he went after he turned 18, I wouldn't know. Yeah, so everyone sucks. It was a thing. Maybe not a standard as these everyone sucks. It was a thing.

Maybe not a standard as these days, but it was a thing. Um, OP goes, it really wasn't. Mental health only picked up in the 2000s. And don't even think our town had a therapy office. It's not like you can FaceTime them like people do now. They grew up in the 90s and were off to college by 2000s. Therapy was for people who got blown up, not new relationships. Even if there was an office, I doubt anyone would have taken him

since getting a stepmom wasn't considered traumatic. And that just shows how far we've come with mental health. I love it. That is true. Long way to go, but progress. That is true. Info, how does his father deal with this? Like did he go to his kids wedding what was his reaction when

Nick said he'd come home for Christmas if you weren't there I mean not the asshole obviously but it kind of feels like your husband should have stepped in here at some point thank you because it felt weird oh he goes he went to the wedding he put his foot down on Christmas and told him he can come, but I will be there or he could not come. He didn't come to the event. Okay. Yeah. There is another comment about what has your husband been doing for the last however many

years? Does he ever relationship with his son? How did y'all function before Nick turned 18? Where is Nick's mother? There's so much missing here. Yeah. Husband has a low contact. Also, but it is due to a different reason. He didn't have a great relationship with the siblings, but they tolerated each other. Nick's mom said I am out and basically gave up her rights.

I have never talked to her and I don't think the youngest has even talked to her. I have no idea what she's up to. Nick sounds just like a very hurt individual who went and hurt other individuals. Yeah. Hurt people, hurt people. Which there's a different way to tackle this if we want a life change and make up for all our wrongdoings.

Therapy, Nick, it's there and. Right, but. Therapy, Nick. It's there and... Right, but... Big apologies. Yeah. And then maybe you could see some sort of village be put back together, but it'll never be what it could have been. But that's on you. Yes.

And sometimes in life you got to learn that like the hard way. Yeah. But, you know, I hope he does change as a person. And you know, you can come back, be sure those relationships will never be the same, but you can find that with other people and you can better yourself become a good person and raise good, happy, healthy kids. Mm-hmm. Just hope. There's hope. I hope. There's hope.

I hope Nick gets it together. But for her sake, I would not get anywhere near the taking care of the kids. No, not the asshole there at all. I think it opens up a lot of liability for her too. And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just-

And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- And it just- reason anything happens to those kids, which shit always goes wrong when you're watching kids. On my grandma's watch, my brother almost cut off his thumb.

He almost bit off his tongue on another accident. My one brother rolled out the side of a car because the door came open and he rolled through the mall parking lot. I almost got like messed up on a four-wheeler accident. I got hit in the head with a shovel by her. My grandma, and she's been through it babysitting, and that should happen. Something happens to these kids, Nick is gonna freak out.

And not only that, it opens her up to potentially seeing the light of the tunnel a little bit, maybe starting to create some sort of relationship there with the kids and him, and then could just really get hurt again. Yeah, there's always that risk. I think OP, probably at this point, is like resolved in the fact that she doesn't have a relationship, even dad is low contact, so there's clearly issues there. But if it is something you wanted to work on, you could say, hey, Nick, I'm not going to

watch your kids unattended. Just not comfortable with that because we don't have a great relationship. But if you want to come over on Sundays and you know, we could hang out, you could watch football, I'll do an activity with the kids. Maybe let's start there. Like, there's- Yeah, because I guess you'd want to know your grandkids. You might. Yeah, you might.

So interesting position to be in. Tough one. Moving along. But before we do, I just want to plug my little stress rock here. It's been like holding it this story to like not- I like the rock. Not interrupt as much. My ADHD has been really bad lately with interrupting and I'm really trying to work on it.

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Also available at skims.com. Come on, everyone's seen the pictures by now, right? Okay, so this next one, 20 days old, it made me really sad. Am I the asshole for canceling my birthday party because my parents cut my sister a slice of my custom cake the night before my party when she cried for it. My sister, 11 female, is the miracle golden child. She always get what she wants whenever she wants it. My parents are always trying to please her and make her happy. They always make a big effort on her birthday and do whatever she asks for, but they can

barely remember mine and they are always conveniently broke. This year I wanted to enjoy my birthday so I babysat and even mowed lawns to make this possible. My birthday was a few days ago even mowed lawns to make this possible. My birthday was a few days ago and the party was scheduled for the day after. I have been planning for weeks and invited all my friends. I bought the food, snacks, and drinks and picked up my custom made cake, which I was really excited about. It was just perfect. The night before the party, I noticed that my cake, which was in the fridge, had a huge

slice missing. When I asked my dad, he shrugged and nonchalantly said that my sister was crying for it, and it was just a small piece. My friends wouldn't notice. I yelled at him asking him why he would do something like that when it wasn't even bought with his money, and that my sister could have waited for tomorrow. This made him angry and he went on a tirade about how I think I'm an adult because of my stupid party implying at the fact that I did everything myself and did not ask them for

anything. I need the rock. I ended up calling it off because I was not able to change the location last minute. And I didn't have the means to and I was so hurt. I didn't want to host it at home anymore. One of my friends told me that calling it off was an overreaction and that I could have just gritted my teeth and gone through with it at home rather than canceling just hours before. Am I the asshole? How long ago is this? 20 days ago. When was the, we don't know in the birthday, it was going to be? Post is 20 days old. Birthday was three-ish days before that. How old? No mention of age.

Okay, interest. Little sister is 11. Okay, so somewhere probably between 11 and 18, still living at home. Yeah, I'm searching the comments to see from the mention. I wish this was like a writing on Father knows because I would reply and be like, where can we come through you in an awesome party?

I know. I don't get the parents. I mean, I've never been a parent, obviously, but I don't understand how, and it's not even some kid coming to you and be like, oh, I want this and I want this and I want a car and I want this and if it's not all that, then you guys don't love me and it's not even some kid coming to you and be like, oh, I want this and I want this and I want a car and I want this and if it's not all that, then you guys don't love me and it's not perfect.

Like it's not that situation. I went and did all this and I spent all this money to give myself a great day. I'm feeding everybody. I'm getting everyone drinks because I want everyone to come together and have a good time because I wanna do something for myself and bring everyone together on my day.

She just wanted to be celebrated. 16. 16 year old. Okay. Why are like the dad specifically? Why are you weirdly jealous of this? Why in the world would you be jealous of a kid? Wouldn't if you had a kid that went out and did all these chores and made all this money to try and throw themself to party, wouldn't you be like, holy shit, you're a really cool kid? Like I have a lot of respect for you and you're gonna be really successful in life. And as a parent, I'm dropping the ball.

Like a 16 year old should not have to fund their whole party. Of course not. But what if they plan to and they did all that, then you can be the parent be like, you know what, I respect you. You're an amazing kid. You're going to do really well in this world, but we got this one. Let's make this thing awesome. Yeah.

Save your money, spend it on something really nice for yourself. We got the party taken care of because they don't even care about her. Right. But like I wouldn't want to discourage a kid from doing this. Like I love the fact that it happened. And then the parents had a beautiful opportunity to do it. I just said, but then to make them feel bad about it and like push them down. I don't get the why, where's the why? Is it jealousy? Is it really because of the other kid?

I think some parents have one child and it's kind of the black sheep or maybe they have their first one and then they struggle to have any more after and then when they do, it's the miracle babies, the golden child, we love you, you can do no wrong, you're so special. And that's what she was, O.P. says,

she was the miracle golden child. And in the comments, it does mention that the parents did experience a loss, a pregnancy loss. So, you know, it's still no reason to mistreat your current kids. It is not. And this is a kid that grows up being self-sufficient, having a fight for themselves. And years later, the parents go, I don't you talk to us.

Why don't you love us? Because you treated me like shit when I was a kid. 16 year old should not be having to do this for their own birthday. Here's how this all ends up, okay? Parents are gonna be there or whatever. You deal with your parents, the inset boundaries in the future,

whatever you wanna do. All I know is this older daughter, she is going to be well equipped for life. She is going to go out there and kick some ass. This other kid is going to struggle. She'll be in for a rude awakening. When you are spoon fed your entire life, which could continue until you're 30, older. I've seen it. You have a lot of challenges later in life

because you don't have that grit. That grit. And it's just, I don't know, I'm impressed by this one. This kid is dope. Yeah, and it is by this one. This kid, dope. Yeah, and it is sad just looking at this, like I'm throwing myself my first ever birthday party tomorrow. And the parents stole that from her.

Like, like, just fucking can't wait for one piece of cake. I'm gonna send two years. Two years in your out. I know, I'm gonna send two years. Two years in your out. I know. I'm gonna send them a message and just be like, hi, can I order you a cake? Send you a gift card and you can still do something because you can still celebrate your birthday month later. That's not a big deal. It's a birthday month these days. Birthday month. So I just want to be like, can I send you a cake?

And like, I don't know, like where do you six, like, I don't, it's Chuckie Cheese. Like, would that be corny to go to Chuckie Cheese for a party? But we adult go to Dave and Buster's, that's popular. And Buster's better. But I don't know if 16 year olds can go there. Chuckie Cheese is young. Really? Yeah.

Oh, well well maybe bowling There's options. I'm gonna I'm gonna message and see if there's anything I can do. Okay, good. Let's do it type type type type fast Okay, we messaged but really just grit what a strong 16 year old it it does make you sad But I got to say out of all the stories that made me sad, this one makes me proud and very optimistic for her future. This is such a great character trait and I kind of did some of this stuff, not that I was unsupported by my parents, but I was the kid who rummaged through our garage and I would

find stuff and put them in a bunch of bins and go out on the end of the driveway and put price tags on things. And some little entrepreneurs. Little nice neighbors would stop buying by a softball or buy something. Oh my God. I would be doing a lemonade stand all the time.

So I was like, you know, I was trying to make, I was doing chores, I was moment-londes. I was ready to get out there and make money and do it. And so I just love to see it in other people. Me too. And the deal with parents is it's, you know, in life, it becomes a relationship that evolves and changes like a roller coaster.

And so some people get it really tough with being just kind of ostracized by their parents. And you just gotta focus on you and don't let it take you down and just stay staying that path. Yeah, for sure. Okay, moving along. Okay, one last one for us. Coming from true of my chest, my wife told my a fair partner, quote,

I'd rather be 80 year old me than 20 year old you, and it haunts me every day. My wife and I were high school sweethearts. We are both 40 and have been together for 25 years. We have two children together, five and six. For the past five years, I've thought that we are together because we basically grew up together. I met my now girlfriend, 28. I know I'm 12 years older, but I met her at work. She is beautiful and attractive, and I thought she was this new change I wanted.

Instead of breaking it off with my ex and doing the right thing, I cheated and I thought she was this new change I wanted. Instead of breaking it off with my ex and doing the right thing, I cheated and I got caught. My wife was so gracious about it. She didn't want us to be together anymore. This was a year ago and I left our house and rented an apartment. We have yet to start divorce, although I don't want to. Neither of us was talking about it. My girlfriend, however, is not so happy about this, and mainly because I left our big house that's originally my house to my wife and daughters. I inherited it from my grandparents and it is worth a fortune right now. My girlfriend says that it is my family home and for me, yes, it is. My family is living there. But my girlfriend meant that when we get divorced, my wife has no claim

to the house. Three weeks ago, my girlfriend and I were dropping our daughters with their mother and my girlfriend went against my wishes and started talking to my wife about the house, my wife was confused and said that the house is hers and her daughters, and she looked at me all confused. But my girlfriend told her that it was mine. And, it was time to move on. My wife then said that my girlfriend shouldn't put her nose in other people's business. Girlfriend became angry and said that my wife is a hag who is bitter because she's old. My wife smiled and said, is your age your only redeeming quality?

Because that won't last. Then she said that she'd rather be 80-year-old her than 20-year-old, my girlfriend. She wasn't angry or bitter, she isn't old either, she's 40, like me. Am I so old according to my girlfriend? She's very beautiful too. I don't know what my girlfriend was thinking. I felt so ashamed and angry with myself. My girlfriend was immature and embarrassing.

I have been unhappy for months now, but if I broke it off, it means that I have hurt my family for nothing. My wife called me the next day and said that maybe we should start talking about divorce. I broke down crying the moment we ended the call. Now every time I see her, I want to be in her arms and cry. Just thinking about 80-year-old her with 80-year-old me beside her. The way we envisioned ourselves every time we saw an elderly couple holding hands or kissing and we thought this will be us too. I realized I'd rather have 80-year-old her than 20-year-old anyone. I have messed up, but I have messed that up. Yeah.

Can you tell which one has the grit in this story? Not the guy. Not the girlfriend. No, it's the OG, the white fee. I don't even know where to begin. No, it's the OG, the white fee. I don't even know where to begin. I will say, I think cheating is terrible. It sucks. But I do think sometimes,

especially like high school sweethearts, they're 40 and they've been together 25 years. Like that is crazy. That's a big amount of time. And I do see how he strayed down this path of like, ah, well, I don't know any different. And maybe there's something better out there. And it sounds like, you know, this coworker maybe just got to Florida work. I don't know.

But I would, how do I put this in the words? I would hedge a bet that if given a second chance, I don't think he would fuck it up again. Well, no, he just said he didn't want, he wish he didn't. I know. So like, yeah, this is really shitty. But a part of me, like, I'm like, why are you crying as you hang up the phone? Well, I guess it's not, it's better that he's not

being manipulative with his tears, but do the work. Go to therapy, do the work, put in the effort. Like, I have a bigger question. Okay. Yeah. Why was she gracious when he cheated? I think she was just like, I'm good. Oh, thank God you went and did that.

Yes. No, I think some people have the mentality of like, if you're going to burn me, find your dad to me. I don't want you if you cheated on me. If I'm not enough for you and I'm not your person and you're cheated on me, fine. Shushu. So why are we ignoring the divorce, then?

I mean, I just think like once, it sounds like it takes some work. And yeah, it's not the hardest thing, but it's like, oh, well, you know, we're, we're kind of, it's comfortable. It's complacent. Like, if we were married and we're split, you're not living with me and our kids, and you're off dating someone new. I mean, it is a little strange. It's a little strange, but

instantly you split you get a better tax bracket. Like not for everyone though. Some people do better when they file jointly. Some people do better. California. I'm not a CPA and I can't even begin to wrap my head around it. And also all the arguments on the house are flawed. Unless there's some mysterious prenup that says is inherited house stays his.

I think at that point, I mean, they've been together 25 years, but doesn't. Is the girlfriend just inexperienced and not know what she's talking about then? I would think so. That's your house. Well, it depends, right? Because there are certain rules where inheritance is not community property. So if he truly inherited that house from his grandparents, like he said, it would not have a bit would not belong to the wife. It would technically be solely

his house. And there's no rule. And there's no rules as like having it as your mutual household for X number of years. And then it would depend if he put her name on the deed. If he inherited it from the grandparents and like put her name on the deed, then I think it technically became community property. But if he kept it separate, deed is only in his name. I'm not a lawyer, but this is from me doing a little research on the side, you know. I got into it from money episode once and it's just stuck with me.

But who knows how it's how it works. OP has deleted their account. I'm kind of even just curious why you even write this post. This is from True Off My Chest. So he's just, I guess, you're not really asking. You're just kind of, here's my experience. Yeah. So, there are, I'm like looking at screenshots I have in a folder.

There are some comments OP did respond to. So someone goes, so you left your family and let your girlfriend disrespect your daughter's mom in front of them. You're responsible for all of this. This was your choice and you'll have to pay for the consequences. But hey, let me tell you something. You better sign a prenup with your girlfriend if you ever get there. But I have the impression she will drop like a log if you try that. And OP goes, she is more than welcome to drop anytime she wants. No loss there. Oh my God. Break up you coward. What is going on?

Someone goes, she's going to be cheating on you with someone younger. OP goes, that would make life much easier for me. OP, you say you don't want to break up with your girlfriend because then it mean that you left your wife and daughters for nothing. And that's only a reason. I think it's probably, just fucking grow up. Deep down, you know that you really did leave them

for nothing. The love and happiness you thought you'd get from your immature shallow girlfriend was an illusion. Break things off with her now before she gets pregnant or so entrenched that getting her out of your life is impossible. Don't fight the divorce. Take all your regret and turn it into determination to give your daughters the best life and the best dad you can be. And OP responds, this is exactly what I should do. Boom, look at that. Mm-hmm.

The comments saved us again. Yeah. The theme in this show really has been, you got a face, your consequences. Face the music. You really got to deal with the shit that you mess up. I mean, Is there something you show? So you got to rep what you're so.

That's a saying, for sure, you have to rep what you so. You fact checking me, you are. I know that one's right. I didn't butcher that one. I'm not, no, I'm not fact checking you. Oh, you try to find out what's right. I didn't butcher that one. I'm not, no, I'm not fact checking you. Oh, you're trying to find out what it means. I... This is also why you're checking that.

The hopeless romantic in me kind of hopes he gets his shit together and like they can be happy family again. They'll be good. That'll be good. I was trying to find other, because there's so many of those. I wanted to read off a bunch. Yeah, you reap what you sow is a pro verb that says future consequences are inevitably shaped by present actions.

Yeah. Get a taste your own medicine. Yeah, that's a good one. You dug your grave, you can lie in it. Yep. You know, that is a theme throughout. Grit is definitely apparent. Yeah.

But we just, I guess it takes a lot of grit to deal with people who don't understand that they have to, you know, deal with their consequences. Yeah. And I think like we're, we all struggle. Like we all can be selfish. We can all unintentionally hurt people. Like obviously. Maybe not this.

Yeah, like we're all human, right? But like I think it just like these people were so far gone in like their own world. And it's just, it's absolutely crazy that it got to this point in a lot of these stories and some of them were sad, like the birthday cake one, but I think it just goes to show like how amazing and strong we are as people and like this resilient and these stories don't even like scratch the surface of it.

Like there's one that I have in this theme that I'll read for a patron, but this person's mom like dropped them off with an aunt in another country and then was like, you can't act like I'm your mom. I am gonna come visit with my new husband, but you can't act like I'm your mom. Like you abandoned your kid? Like what? So there's some crazy ones, but I mean, we as humans are really tough. And I mean, the smallest things can mess us up. I mean, the fucking clock's changed. And I thought we were done with that.

And those things changed. And it's so dark. And I'm like, damn, okay, seasonal depression. Here we go. Like, oh, am I the only one that thrives in that? I just like, I like nighttime and cooling down, but damn, like, it was 4 p.m. and it was dark, I was just, I don't know.

I love it. The moral of the story is, we're all in this together. We're all, you know, struggling together, but you know, we can take notes from other people's grit and. One, if you're ever not feeling so resilient, tying it back to shelter animals, you can get some dogs that, in any animal, horses, cats, any animal that comes out of horrible situations, abusive situations, or just being on the street or anything that we can imagine. And these dogs can come in, these horses come in, these cats.

And they can be so hopeful and so sweet and just be so happy and excited for a new life and trust humans again and just be so happy to be alive. I know. And I think anytime I see a dog and it's like, if I'm stressed out or I'm just rushing somewhere, I'm like feeling down about something and I see a dog just like prancing along the sidewalk and you know that dog's happy and it has a good life. And I'm just like, I'm like, that's what it's about. I need to be more like

that little guy over there, especially when you have animals that go through such terrible shit. And can still open up their hearts and like, love again. And then there was these animals ever, like just think about them. Think about that when you, when you're feeling like, like you're going through it. And just, no. Yeah. Fight through. Well, we will be doing a couple more of these grit stories for Patreon this month. I really like this name. Maybe it'll be a part two with another co-host to give them a taste of the grit. You know, you like the grit, huh? But thank you guys so much for being here. You mean the world to me? I look at my life and it is very,

very fulfilled and, you know, I complain about mental health struggles, but I am very appreciative of you all in this community. We all got that grit. We all got that grit. Seeing so many of you make the carrot cake from that episode has like literally brought me two tears. It's been so magical seeing how much of a community we really are.

And I'm just, I love all of you. And, ah, thank you for being here. So if you want any additional stuff this month, head over to Patreon. There's free content already up for November and more to come. But other than that, anything else? No? Just don't leave me out of the outro.

Until next time. Until next time. Bye guys. Bye. Thanks for watching! you