Two Hot Takes - 146: Hurt People, Hurt People..

Episode Date: December 21, 2023

WE'RE GOING ON TOUR!!! TICKETS HERE: https://linktr.ee/twohottakestour If code is required it's "CARROTCAKE" :) Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Lauren! It's pretty well known that hurt people tend to also hurt people, and these stories demonstrated that pretty well. Except some may be justifiable in their hurt? You help us judge, but we had some pretty serious reactions to some of these stories. MERCH IS HERE!!! https://shop.twohottakes.com I can't wait to see you all in these. Especially at the live shows we have this upcoming spring ;) Our PO Box!! Two Hot Takes. 5042 Wilshire BLVD. #470. Los Angeles, CA 90036 Bonus Content on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Our SubReddit to Submit YOUR Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes Partners: ZocDoc: zocdoc.com/tht Beam: shopbeam.com/tht promo code: tht Embrace Pet Insurance: EmbracePetInsurance.com/THT Masterclass: Masterclass.com/tht Quince: quince.com/tht

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And if there's any other shows we should be adding, comment, let us know. We want to make sure we see all of you. Enjoy that episode. One of this week's partners is ZockDock. The holidays are here and all of those cookies that we've eaten could be making some health issues pop up, which means now is the perfect time to find a doctor who you're going to trust, love, and who's going to give you that quality care that you need. I know for me in the past, Zockdoc is a free app where you can find amazing doctors and book appointments online. We're talking about booking appointments with thousands of top rated patient-reviewed doctors and specialists. You can filter specifically for ones who take your insurance, are located near you and

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Proved your pants in the car. But what? I don't know. No. You said it so like, guess what I did, I don't know I'm over here. Like you said it like you were in trouble or something. That's hilarious. People who think you have like a thing for poop

are gonna die at that comment. I know. Oh my God. No, but I did listen to the, well, I found out it's story finally. No, you still haven't heard that. I still haven't, because I've still held out because I'm still,

I found the episode. Okay, so I was considering listening to it, but then you read the comments. I read the comments and I was thinking like, I'm gonna give Morgan one more chance to see if she wants to like read it to me at some point. No, I think people would actually murder me. Okay, so you can, you have full permission to, okay, listen, okay, cool, I will. You guys are missing out.

Just kidding, I actually probably won't even care because I'm like everyone says it's the craziest story. So I'm going to be like so unfazed, but because I'm going to have such high expectations about how crazy it is. But no, what I did on my way over here was I listened to the, which I found out their name is actually pronounced Lautner. Instead of Lautner, Lautner, Lautner. Yeah. I'm supposed to say Lautner for now on, but like, but no, it just made me absolutely adore them so much. Like I didn't know how much I loved them. That's cute. They're so cute.

I think it would be so hard to date someone with the same name as you. Yeah. But Taylor. What? I know. They said it's weird at TSA and stuff like that because they'll be like, all right. Taylor, come over here. And they're like, which one?

Yeah. Help. Oh, that's fun. They were so cute. But yeah, I'm in love with that. Cute. Cute. Very cute.

They have their own podcast. I'm going to have to. Yeah. I'll listen to theirs. That's what I was thinking after listening to this. I'm like, I should check their mouth. Check theirs out. Yeah.

Okay. Are you ready for today's theme? Yes. I think these are some of probably the most interesting stories I found on Reddit in a while. I don't know if anyone else has noticed this, but I feel like, you know, it's hard to get to the cream of the crop. You know, it takes a little work for that foam to rise when finding quality stories for this pod. It takes a little work to have, to be never mind.

I was going to make a really bad joke. Well, you have to do that. As you were saying that I'm featuring, you just like foaming at the mouth. From like the story. That's my theme next, really. That's my theme later today. It's so funny. Literally, it was between for you, it was this theme, which is hurt people, hurt people.

Yeah. Or foaming at the mouth. Yeah. Foaming at the mouth is my 3PM recording. Lauren is noon. Oh my god. That's hilarious. I'm just like, just you use the word foam.

And like, I'm just picturing you looking at the stories, getting so angry that you just start foaming. Literally, that's how I came up with the idea. That's hilarious. Yeah. So this one's 2C2. It's got some crazy out of left field type stories, and I got a lot of them.

I have like nine tabs open right now. My goal is to get through at least seven. So we're gonna be rapid firing, I hope. Really getting into it. There's gonna be for sure one for Patreon. And there we go. Love it. Hey, ready?

Yes. Let's dive in. Let's do it. Hey, ready? Yes. So let's dive in. Let's do it. Let's just really, you know, hit it where it hurts. Right off the bat. Nice. Wait, is this actually on or black to you? Yeah, it's got a little caffeine in it. I've never had one like this, I'm actually excited.

So good. Watch how it's just start to get her in. No, it's not that bad. Not enough. It's not like a socios where you feel like you're dying. I'm sensitive now though, ever since I've cut coffee out. Now it's like any caffeine I start getting. A grande, like a medium coffee, gets me four days.

Yeah, seriously. Like I would have break it up. I sit there, put in the fridge, sit there, put in the fridge. Well, I like the taste, so I fuck myself over. Like I'll just drink it all and I'm like, Oh, why did I do that? So good. Maybe start having decaf.

Yeah, I did that for a while and then I realized I just wanted to do matcha or tea. There you go. Yeah. Okay, here we go. Okay, let's do it. Okay, so this one is one day old. It is coming from true off my chest, and it's titled,

My son savagely attacked my wife, and I don't know what to do. My wife, 39 and I, 43, have three kids. Our girl Megan, 18, and our son's Matt, 16, and Josh, 14. For the last eight or nine months, my younger son Josh is obsessed with the idea that his mom is favoring our other kids over him. After he told me this, I secretly started to watch my wife's behavior with our kids. I noticed that she would ask Megan and Matt to run errands with her and Josh had to ask

her to go with. She would also talk more to the older kids. She just seems to enjoy their company a bit more, but don't get me wrong. She loves Josh too and enjoys spending time with him, just not as much as with Megan and Matt. When I asked my wife if she noticed this this, she said no and reassured me that she still loves all of our kids equally. I asked her to include Josh more and she promised she would, but Josh still complained and started to disdain his mom.

I suggested therapy to him, but he declined. I continued observing the situation. The problem was that my wife's favoritism would manifest in very little things. It was hard to catch her if you know what I mean. The big thing happened on Sunday when I was at a friend's house. The family had planned to decorate the tree together. This was a little ritual in our house.

As you can imagine, Josh was forgotten again. My wife and the other kids decorated the Christmas tree without telling him. When Josh came downstairs and saw the decorated tree, he confronted his mother. According to my daughter, my wife just said that they had just forgotten him. This answer made Josh snap.

He started to hit his mom in the face with his bare face and choked her. He also kicked and punched his siblings when they tried to protect her. He only stopped when his mom fell to the ground. A rushed home when my daughter called me. My wife's left eye was red and a bit swollen, her nose bloody, and her neck was dark red. Matt and Megan had to hold me to protect their brother from me. My wife was in a state of shock and couldn't even talk to me.

After I came down a bit, I called my father, who lives three hours away, and told him what happened. He agreed to come immediately and pick Josh up. Two days have passed and I have no idea what to do. My wife is slowly recovering from the shock and the beating, but she doesn't talk about it or Josh. My dad suggested that Josh should move in with his grandparents for at least a year to give everyone time to recover.

But my fear is that one year apart will further destroy the relationship between mother and son. He has done something horrible and he will pay a high price for that. He has banned from his family home and is not allowed to contact us. He has left all of his electronics here. His grandparents will be strict with him.

Therapy is mandatory. But in the end, I want my whole family together again, not tomorrow, not in a month, but one day. I get panic attacks over the question if sending him away is the right move. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. He couldn't stay after what he did, but staying away will

a strange him further away from the family. I simply don't know what to do. Wow. This is a wild one. Heart people, heart people. And a really, really hard place to decide what to do. I can't even imagine as a parent, like he is in the worst position, but this whole family unit just sounds so dysfunctional.

Oh, that's just so hard too, because he's young. He's young enough where you're not pressing charges, but he's also old enough that he can really do scary damage. And that's a situation where two, I mean, with all of the, I guess, trigger warning, but with all of the shootings that happen and scene signs and younger kids, it's like, that is the moment where you really want to act on it. And it's kind of like, well, what do you do to make sure that that this kid doesn't turn into this like resentful, you know, child that ends up turning

to an adult that does something really horrible one day. And yeah, keeping him away and never being able to be allowed back to his family, that could do definitely like further damage. But it's like keeping him in the house could also risk the mother's life. I mean, he didn't stop until she's felt at the ground. Like, that's not just like, you know, him last

she now for, you know, one second, it's like that. Like, he beat her. It's really scary. I honestly don't know what advice I would give. I know. It's a really tough one. I would love to have a therapist chime in on this one. If we have any, I know we have a bunch of listeners out there who are actual therapists, especially Stephanie from our group therapy comes to mind because she's like an actual trauma- like informed therapist. But it's really hard because I feel for him,

like I feel for both of them, obviously the mom to go through that, but for a kid to feel, you know, at 14, like his mom favors his siblings so much so to like, he doesn't get included in a family tree decorating. And he snaps. Like that is some built up hurt and anger and resentment and all of these big feelings. And I think as the parents, like, there's a lot of balls being dropped here.

Yeah. The wife for, you know, it was pointed out and now she's not trying to rectify it. Right. Like, it was pointed out to you. Make sure he's there to decorate the tree. Mm-hmm. Um, the husband. I thought it was kind of weird that he was at a friend's house while his whole family's

decorating a tree. Where is your involvement? Yeah. And then you notice Josh is getting kind of left behind by the mom. Why aren't you stepping up to make sure Josh feels close to you? Yeah.

Maybe he does. Maybe does. Feel close to the dad, but there's still like something about you ever feel that. So, and of course at first I wanted to focus on the fact that like what he did to his mother is not okay. He did. But as you mentioned going back to it,

well, why was the mother doing that? Why is she resentful towards this child? And if they both are noticing this, if the child and the father are noticing these microaggressions, it's like, well, how long has this been going on for to the point that it's in his DNA? That's how mental health issues happen. So, when I was talking to a therapist once, she was talking about how your brain is developing at zero, at one year's old.

Even though the baby doesn't remember anything, like we don't remember what happened when we were under one year old, but where our brains are still remembering that. Our DNA is remembering that. I was literally gonna bring this up. I'm so glad you did. Yeah.

I'm so glad you did. Yeah, so it's just, it's like you have to think like, well, what is happening to that young boy if all these microaggressions were his entire life to the point that he snapped and acted in a way that he shouldn't have. I completely agree and I think you make a good point too. Like you wanted to focus on the mom and like I don't want to have what I'm saying come off as victim blaming. Everyone is hurting here. Like this whole family, this whole unit. Of course. Like crazy situation, but I do agree, like how long has this been going on?

Because something that I learned about, especially with OT school and like emotional development within kids, there's like a common misconception that like, oh, babies, like, you know, sometimes you just gotta let them cry it out, let them self-soothe, they'll figure it out. Which, yes, to a point. But if you let a baby cry and cry and cry,

you are causing emotional distress. You are causing an insecure attachment to the caregiver. There's so much and subconsciously, like you said, that can shape you the rest of your life. So yeah, crying a little bit. Yeah, especially if they're crocodile tears, crocodile tears, hey, okay, you know whatever, but there's a point where letting your kid cry for 30 minutes nonstop, thinking, oh, self soothing, that's not good for that baby. Yeah, like, or your relationship.

So I would be curious, I'll read the top comment, and I know there's a recent edit that was added that I haven't gotten into yet, because it's only a day old. Like he's updating quickly. Okay, so top comment on this one. So they forgot your kid for decorating Christmas. He snapped and you are right, he should get in therapy. But I don't believe for a second, this is the extent of the treatment your kid gets at home.

Not only your wife, but his siblings forgot him. Your family has broke this kid. Instead of hurting himself, which I'm sure he has done in the past, he snapped. You and your wife have failed here, and you should really discover what happened in that house when you were not there. There is no pretty solution here. But putting all the blame on him, you were kidding yourself. Your family was broken before today. All caps, they forgot your son. You have to be blind.

And that has six K of votes. Next comment, like how the fuck do you forget your kid? Next comment, the wife doesn't like him like she says she does. Next comment, when I read that, she said, loves all our kids equally. I could not imagine the scene in a rest of development where Lou Siel says the same, and it immediately cuts Tarsane. I don't care for God. I've never seen the show.

Just crazy. Yeah, and I think that, I mean, what he said, if he sends his son away for however long, like that's just gonna do so much more damage. I don't think that's the answer. No, and I think, but obviously everyone's really afraid, and the concerning thing would be if he stayed in the home,

and now the mother is being extremely obvious on her favoritism to the point of like, it does even more damage. Yeah, so, I mean, I would think that as a family need to go into therapy immediately altogether. Yes. And separate, like, I would think that that should be the priority.

But I get, it's just, it's so complicated because it is scary. I mean, physical assault, domestic violence, all of that is terrifying. But as everybody is saying, there's a bigger root problem here that needs to be fixed and it's not fair to the kid. No, I think initially living with grandma and grandpa for a week, sure, give everyone, you know, the space to calm down, get things set up and put in place, therapists, all of that. And then, yeah, he should probably, from my perspective, be at home. Like, if I was already feeling ostracized from my family and they don't care about me, they forget me, and then

I was forced to live with my grandma and grandpa for a year, I don't think I would ever want to be a part of that family ever again. No, definitely not. I would, I would, I know me. I would build so much resentment. Yeah, so much. Well, and then to circle back to you on one of the things that the dad said, did the dad say that he had to be held back by his other kids?

Otherwise, he was going to beat his child. Yeah. Yeah. So there's, it a mess, all around mess. That's also like, even the kids who are being favorited, that's still, all of that's still traumatizing to them too, especially if they notice, like, if they're like, why is our mom leaving this child out? Is it because, and who knows what they think when they're young?

Are they thinking, okay, let's lead by example and do the same thing? Are they thinking this is messed up? And I feel really guilty. Like all of this has an impact on everybody in the family, which is why I think everyone in the family needs to really work on building again as a family and having professional help.

I agree. So at it, I mentioned in my post that his mother loves him and that her favoritism was almost not noticeable. His siblings made the same observation and both of them love him too. He is not in Siberia. He is in the care of his grandparents. And sooner or later, he will return home to the Christmas tree. I will ask her how she could forget him

after I specifically asked her to include him more. I have many questions, but not now. She was just assaulted in her own home by her own son. The thing about that comment, her favoritism was almost not noticeable. It was noticeable to Josh. Yeah. And microaggressions fucking suck. Because then it's like, like he said in his comment, then you can't call her out, but it just continues and it eats away at him and it plays in his character and who he is at such a young age. So everyone just needs to take more accountability here.

Quick update. I talked to my wife. She thinks Josh should return home in a week or two under the condition that she's not alone with him until she trusts him again. She also demands therapy for him and has agreed to family therapy if Josh's therapist wants it. Non-negotiable. Yeah.

Family fucking therapy. Non-negotiable. If his... You guys need it. Yeah, come on She says Josh was in the living room when they were about to decorate but left the room She thought he was going to the toilet or something like that and that he would come back in a minute She swears that she forgot to look after him when he didn't return at this point. I don't believe her Update two Josh and his mom talked on the

phone, his grandma's phone, in the early morning. He apologized for his actions and she accepted it. They agreed to have a real conversation when he returns home on Friday. She now agrees to family therapy and therapy for Josh. Okay, so there's a little bit of like progress in the play. Not a happy ending obviously, but this is like the beginning of like putting in the work to fix their family. Absolutely. Oh, wow. Yeah, wow, that was a heavy one because it's like, I mean, as we mentioned at first, we

need to address the assault that is scary and that's crossing the line, but then we wanted to go back and talk about, well, there's a lot on pack. Yeah, and I like that you said, I don't ever want to victim blame too, but we do need to look at the dynamics because this is a child. This is not a 25-year-old, this is a 14 year old who is an excruciating pain. So what it seems to get to that place, unless on his own, you know, we don't know, we're not diagnosing him. We can't diagnose him, we weren't there. So unless there's something deeper where she's really not favoriting, it's a misunderstanding,

but he's taking it that way and he's dealing with who knows. But like from what we're reading from the story. Yes, family therapy. Let's work this out for sure. Okay, a lot of these are going to be a little heavy today, but let's move on to one that's a little lighter, a little crazier. Oh, okay. Shit.

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pay for my birth control. I, 20 female, have been with my boyfriend with no sex after he wouldn't pay for my birth control. I, 20 female, have been with my boyfriend for a year. I have a three month subscription to birth control, with costs around 39 pounds for three months. Last time my pills were due, I had no money. I'd gotten a call from my mom who was incredibly sick and had to spend time in the hospital. She asked if I could take care of my siblings and pets. I left the next day.

It was much more expensive than I had anticipated. The train ticket costs nearly 100 pounds on its own. I also did food shopping and overall, the three week trip cost me just under 400. My mom paid me back in full, but I had no money for my birth control subscription. I asked my boyfriend to send me the money, but he said no. for my birth control subscription. I asked my boyfriend to send me the money, but he said no.

I explained the situation, and he said that a, quote, a lack of planning on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on my part. I got really mad and said I was taking care of my family and not fucking about spending my money irresponsibly. He said no, and that I am not entitled to his money. When I got back to our place, two weeks off of birth control, he tried to initiate

sex. I said no. He asked why. Me. I'm not on birth control. Him. But I've missed you and I'm horny. Me. Oh well, you'll have to wait until next month when my pills arrive in three weeks time. He got upset and said I was weaponizing sex and being financially controlling. Am I the asshole? No. What a loser. Leave him.

Right. Like actual loser. I think it should be the bare minimum if you're on birth control because you have a long term partner or any partner like it's different if you're on birth control because you have a long-term partner or any partner, like it's different if you're just single and hooking up, then it's kind of weird to expect from someone, but maybe not, maybe you request $5 for each person. But I think if you have a long-term partner

and you're using condoms or birth control, or you need an emergency, contraceptive, I think those are things that should be split. I think at least. Yeah, I think that, contraceptive. I think those are things that should be split. I think at least. Yeah, I think that, well, okay. I personally think that it's completely the guy should always be offering it, because think about it. If you don't want a baby, guess who has the complete control

and say, the girlie? Who's carrying the baby? So, like, if she gets pregnant because you didn't buy her plan B, and then you're upset and you're trying to tell her to get an abortion, which some people will never do that. Some people think they'll do it, but once they are pregnant,

they're motherly instincts like kick in and they're like, no, absolutely not. So it's like, if you don't wanna have a baby, then it's, then how could you not be upfront pain for anything to prevent that, whether that's always having condoms or like offering to help out with birth control, either split it or pay for it,

but like even like you said, somebody who's doing like has a one night stand, the guy in my opinion would be stupid if he did not use protection. And then she said, hey, I'm a little bit worried that we didn't use protection. And if he didn't immediately offer to buy a plan B pill. I don't, unless he's okay with the child coming to the world

and it's just like, it's up to you. Then it's on you. You know, like, dude, if I had a dick, I would do everything within my power to not get someone accidentally pregnant. Yeah. The fact that dudes just go around raw dog and stuff. Yeah.

Gross. I'm like, don't let people raw dog you guys. Like, don't do it. Dude, I love how you said stuff, because I don't know if this is a fake quote. I think I might have fact checked it later in it was, but it was like something like Adriana Lima or like one of the super models

and someone interviewed her and says, like, how does it feel that men are falling over? So, you know, like in love with you and like want you. And she's like, well, sometimes I think it's flattering, but then I remember that they would also put their dick inside a hamburger. Or she says, or she said something like, but then I also know that, yeah, like they would, they'd screw a hamburger and then I'm not as flattered. It was something like that and I don't even know like this I could so see that it could be it could be completely false It might even it's probably not even that model specifically. It's probably not even true

I don't know but I remember seeing that quote it made me laugh so hard. I love it. I mean guys about coconuts like we this is So that's what was happening in the coconut story. Yeah, okay, there you'll get there But yes stuff like don't raw dog, especially other people, don't raw dog. Like, unless you've both been tested at the same time, and then you're only fucking each other, like, yeah, just don't do it, save sex. God, what was I gonna say though?

Oh, no, I saw a Carrie Fisher quote though. From, you know, a show she went on and Carrie Fisher is the actress that played Princess Leia. And she was talking about bumping into a fan and the fan was like, oh my God, your Princess Leia, I thought about you every day from the time I was 12, sometimes three times a day, basically implying like I was 12, sometimes three times a day, basically implying like, I was using you. And she turns to the girl who now played Ray in the the newer ones.

And she goes, so at least you have this to look forward to. Oh no. Just like, gross. But yeah, I think it's more than fair to like ask to split it, ask to pay for it. Hey, it's, you Hey, you're my partner. This is what us having sex looks like.

And for her to be so responsible and be like, no, I'm just not having sex. That's not safe. Good for you. And also, okay, weaponizing sex. It's like, here's the thing, baby. The thing is, is like, I think it'd be weaponizing, like maybe you could put it as weaponizing,

if like, actually, I don't even know if I would say that at all. The thing about his use of saying weaponizing sex is interesting to me because she doesn't want to have sex with you. So why is that weaponizing it? She does not want to sleep with you in that moment. And now you're actually weaponizing that phrase. He's being a crybaby. Yeah, because it's

like, it's like she doesn't want to. She's having, she wants to have safe sex. And you didn't want to support her on those endeavors. So why do you think that you're entitled to her body whenever you're ready? She doesn't want you. You're the one that's actually being super manipulated and trying to co-herse her by gaslighting her and shifting the blame on her by saying she's weaponizing sex. Thank you. She's doing the exact opposite. She doesn't want sex. She's being responsible. And you should have paid for the birth control. You should have helped out. I think I'm just getting such an Ick from him, just him being like something about like spending money,

like your lack of planning doesn't constitute an emergency on his part. And the fact that he said, I'm not entitled to his money. This is a person that you get stuck with and you marry and you build a life with. And then it's like they nickel and dime you, your whole relationship. You're not entitled to my money.

This is 39 pounds. Yeah. For three months. Yeah. What's that a day? What's 90, what's 39 divided by 90? What's that 50 cents a day? Yeah, don't do this to me, don't give me math problems.

You know this. Well, now I just gotta know. I'm like, I just, I love the answers. 39 divided by 90. It's about 43 cents a day. Okay. So give her the money and shut the fuck up. And if you can't afford it,

then hey, you're just not having sex for a little bit. Focus on more intimate things. You can still go down on each other. Have fun. There you go. A lot of people were like, you're trolling. It's free with the NHS. So OP did have an edit and added an image

of their birth control order, 63 tablets, E35 pounds, I'm sure there's tax. To everyone insisted I'm lying and trying to bamboozle the subreddit, read the edit. Just quick trigger warning, this edit does contain talks of sexual assault. I know birth control is free on the NHS. I choose to buy from boots online

because it was an awful traumatic experience trying to get birth control the first time. I was 18. I was humiliated and retraumatized. They asked me, I last had sex when I was 12, and if I've had any abortions, what other medication I was on, I explained I had been assaulted at 12 and I'd gotten gonorrhea. The nurse, I was at a if I've had any abortions, what other medication I was on? I explained I had been assaulted at 12

and I'd gotten gonorrhea. The nurse, I was at a hospital at this point, called in her coworker to check if it was correct and then proceeded to imply I had lied because 12-year-olds don't get gonorrhea. Every time I went for a checkup, for about a year, I had to explain that I was raped and gotten STD as a child because for some reason doctors

don't realize that can happen question mark question mark and Always implied I had lied or got dates slash years wrong That's not even getting to the blood pressure checks taking time off works skipping uni reviews etc I'd rather spend the money than be retraumatized over and over. I'm not spreading misinformation. I'm not lying. I'm not trying to rage bait Damn I'm not spreading misinformation, I'm not lying, I'm not trying to rage bait. Damn. Edit 2. Can people please stop suggesting condoms like my boyfriend is going to combust if we don't

fuck immediately? We use them. I refuse to have sex without birth control. Edit 3. Wow, people commenting anal hand jobs blow jobs exist are missing the point of the post. If I don't want to engage in sexual activity because I'm recovering from being a caretaker, the stress of almost losing a parent and my boyfriend and I is agreement since day one, no birth control equals no sex. Whatever position or act you suggest in your infinite wisdom is useless. Right. Bottom line. And I said, oh, you can go down

on, you know, if you want to, but the bottom line is she doesn't want to. Birth control is like in her head that makes her feel safe. It makes her feel comfortable to have sex and that's the bottom line. And that's the thing. I think that like when it comes to like sexual activity in general, you want to feel completely comfortable with your partner and you want to feel like they are you're a team, you're in it together, they're a protector for you. And so I think that, like I used to hate the phrase of like getting the egg and whatnot, but it's just like,

she probably feels unattracted to him right now. I would be. I feel unattracted to him right now. Like and so she doesn't want, if she's not attracted enough to him right now to have sex with him, then she doesn't want, if she's not attracted enough to him right now to have sex with him, then she doesn't have to be pressured to. No. So, and never let anyone pressure you. Exactly.

Ever. Craziness. This would definitely, the rose-colored glasses would be coming off with this one. And if I started to notice more red flags, this is a pretty big one for me. Me too. But if this is like the only issue, then maybe it's not break up worthy. Yeah. But definitely. Top comment, when it can plan about being horny,

you should have dropped a crisp quote, a lack of planning on your part doesn't constitute a risk of pregnancy on mine. Bingo. Yeah. That's the next comment too. I just, birthday controls, birthday, didn't say to.

Like, you're not entitled to my money. Yeah. Literally. But you're not entitled to my body. That's what I would have said. Done. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Okay. Moving along. Okay. Okay, so this next one is five days old. It is titled, Am I the asshole for causing my friend to have an allergic reaction after finding out she's been sleeping with my ex-boyfriend? Throw away and change names even though the people I know would probably recognize this

story. I, 24 female, have been with my boyfriend John, 23 23 male for a little over a year. We met after a close friend, let's call her Isabel 23 female, introduced him to our friend group and things developed quickly between John and I, while Isabel and John remained close. This was no problem to me at the time, as I always viewed their friendship as purely platonic, but as it turns out, I was very wrong. Suspissions of their affair started. After I noticed John mentioning Isabel more often than usual, and them exchanging looks and giggling whenever we hung out together. When I mentioned it, John would reassure me it's just an

inside joke and me knowing would ruin the fun of it. Also, John would also unpromptly offer that Isabel can stay at our apartment. We have a guest room after long nights out with Isabel fortunately always declining. This started around a month ago. A short while later, John started staying late for work, stating that he wants to accumulate over time so we can spend more time around the holidays together.

I know John hates working longer than required, as he already comes home stressed out and tired from his normal shift. To prove my suspicions, I came up with a plan. Everybody in our friend group knows that Isabel has a slight peanut allergy. We have seen her allergic reactions and they're definitely not fun, but they also aren't life-threatening, facial swelling and redness. So last week, while grocery shopping, I got some peanut butter, under the pretense I wanted to try out a new recipe I saw on TikTok. Two days ago, John and I got up in the morning, and during breakfast, he exclaimed that he would be working late again. This is when I took the peanut butter out of the cupboard and ate two slices of toast with lots of peanut butter. But before

he left, I offered to perform oral sex on him, explaining it with only seeing him very late in the evening and not being able to wait until he's back. He happily agreed, even though this caused him to be late and caused him some of that hard earned overtime. And I went down on him before he went to work. This is when the Fallout happens. Later that evening, the group chat is informed by John that Isabelle has been hospitalized. She was released the same day, and John is bombarding my phone with messages and calls accusing me of poisoning Isabel on purpose. Since I never eat peanut butter or blow him in the morning, he must

have put two and two together. And that I could have killed her for something I should have just talked to him about. I don't feel like this was something I needed to be mature about and talk it out. And since Isabel and I have been close since elementary school, she betrayed my trust even more than John did. She deserved most of the revenge. Isabel probably talked to our mutuals about it since I've been kicked out of the group chat and nobody is responding to my text.

So, am I the asshole? Oh, wow. Am I the asshole? Oh, wow. Oh. Well, she's clever. Crazy. She's clever. Dude, that's fucking wild.

He didn't wash his dick, is like the grossest part of this. Like she is, this was absolutely like, you could be, this could be, like you could be charged, charges could be pressed. But okay, but here's the thing though, is because when I first heard this story, because yes, this is obviously crazy,

this is dangerous, it's not okay. However, she's under the impression from everybody in her life, right? Like just friends that they're just friends that that he's staying late at work. So it's like if she genuinely didn't know that he was cheating on her, then what she did, there was nothing wrong with what she did. If she genuinely was so wrong with her suspicion, then there'd be nothing wrong with what she did, right? You know what I mean? So yes, it's crazy because she did it with the idea of trying to find out if someone's cheating, but if you look at it from a bigger picture, it's like, well, if everyone was being honest here,

then she didn't do anything wrong. You know what I mean? Because if you ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and then you go down to Justin, like, there's no issue with that, right? But then if Justin went in like with some other girl who was allergic and then she had a hospital, and then you'd be like, oh my God, I had no idea, right?

Like, so it's like, yes, it was malicious and it was wrong, but also it's interesting how, I don't know, it's, it's, I think, and from an outsider's perspective, we know her intent, we know her thought process behind this. That's why it's like, girl, like you should pump the brakes and rained it in a little bit on this one. Yeah. Maybe just, I don't know, I don't know. It's, it's really tough, but it's because we know her intent because if this was like at accident, no, obviously you wouldn't be

the asshole. This was an accident. Your partner cheated on you, but it's because we know the intent. Yeah. I just think it's nasty. Like you literally got a blowjob, she had peanut butter lips, whatever this was. And you didn't wash your dick before you went and fucked someone else, which also means he was raw dogganer. Or she did oral on him too. Mm.

There could be that. Yeah. But if this were me and like everyone, like tugged me out of the group chat, I would literally make a new group chat with everyone and be like, hey, just so you know, I just happen to have peanut butter toast and gave him head. The reason she had an allergic reaction

is because they're fucking, I didn't try to poison her. Right. I would, which, but then you're lying. You're lying, yeah. I would, which, but then, but then she'd be lying. Yeah. But like, these two, like, everyone sucks here. Yeah.

But this is true. Everyone definitely sucks here. It's one. You're definitely like, like, this is not okay. This is press charges. Yeah. Sort of filetly, like, you need to go talk to someone. Well, I will say that I thought it was a little bit worse

because I thought from the story that she literally mixed in peanuts or something. And I don't know, to get back at her for cheating. Yeah. And so that's when I was like, that's absolutely fucking insane. This was for her to figure out if he's cheating and it's still fucking insane. But I am, what is it gonna say about that?

Oh, what she did say, which I still don't think, like you don't know what can happen. Like people can go into cardiac arrest and have random crazy things happen on them. So it's like, you can't just say that. Like I get that in her head. She's like, I have known this girl for so long.

It is not life threatening. It's just an inconvenience. Alex, she's can change overnight. Yes, yeah, exactly. So I'm like, I've known this girl for so long. It is not life threatening. It's just an inconvenience. Allie just can change overnight. Yes, yeah, exactly. So I'm like, I get that her intention may not to be as crazy as it sounds to us, which is why she's probably like, well, all I did was give her a little bit of a flair

just to find out if I'm being lied to and she did on. And so that's why she probably doesn't think it's crazy. But when you look at it from an outside perspective, it's like, this is crazy dangerous and you just don't know what can happen to people and what if she did die? Like what if she did die? Then how would you feel?

Charges would, this would be manslaughter. This would be a manslaughter charge. Like, didn't you, I think we were just talking about it at like the little girls hall to get together about the vizene killer. She killed her friend by poisoning her and the vizene drops. That's what this is giving. It's insane. Don't fuck with people. If you want to confront them, go find him after work and walk in on them. If you're feeling like this is,

like something's going on, trust your gut. Like trust your gut, we are so intuitive. Yeah, and that's the thing is that like, it's so unfortunate, but cheating does happen. And it's, and if people are gonna cheat on you, lie to you, then they don't deserve your time and you walk away. Like I know that revenge can sound really ideal,

but it also can put you in a really shitty place where you just feel even worse. And look at her now. She's exiled from everyone when it should be the other way around, right? It should be like she has her friends and those two can go run off and be by themselves, but now it's like look at what her revenge did to her.

Now she's alone writing on Reddit, asking questions. So it's just as much as anger is behind when people that you love the most betray you and cheat on you, it's like, unfortunately, people are people and they'll get what they deserve. Like, it's not your job to give it to them. So it's always gonna be better to just move along. Yeah.

Top comment on the original post is gross that he didn't wash beforehand. Next comment. Rancid, day old, peanut butter dick. Wouldn't, like, the Isabelle, what's her name? Whatever Isabella? Like, wouldn't she be disgusted to know that too? Like, you're really?

Wash. Cause I bet he's saying, oh, we have like a non-sexual relationship. Don't worry, like, I'm just doing it until our lease is up or some bullshit, you know? But how gross would that be to know that he was sexual with somebody else that exact same day and didn't even wash himself off?

Like, even for the other woman, it's like, that would be offensive. It's nasty. It's so nasty. So this was reposted on another sub too. And there's a little bit of an edit. She assured us on multiple occasions that peanuts don't come close to killing her. I don't know why she went to the hospital this time.

Usually she just waits it out. And like we said, allergies can change. You can get stung by a bee and you know, have an allergic reaction, but then the 10th time could cause you to go into anaphylactic shock. Like yeah. It allergies are crazy and it's just nothing to mess with.

Yeah. And it's just, I also think there's a lot of things that happen like I was mentioning when you go in into cardiac arrest for something some other smaller issue. It's, I don't know, I was mentioning, you go in into cardiac arrest for something some other smaller issue. It's, I don't know, I've just, I don't know if it's the older we get or the more people we know, but there's been a lot

of people that I've known of lately that have just died, like completely healthy. I know. And it's just what feels like out of nowhere. So that's why something like this, you don't mess around with that. Don't do it. So the top comment on the other subreddit

this was posted on is the friend get hospitalized and the cheating boyfriend gets meatmunched twice in one day, he won. You. Not just people, just fucking wild. I've never heard that phrase before. Meet Munch. Yeah.

Wow. Yeah. But be careful with Vi-Z. And you guys, if you see people have Vi-Z. I know they don't even let it in the clubs in Vegas anymore because Vi-Z. And like some eye drops can also be used as date rape drugs. Wow. So just another thing we have to watch out for.

But I just saw this little thing. It's actually a scrunchy, and then it opens up into a drink cover that a straw can go through. And I really want to order one of those. I think it just like, granted, I don't really ever leave my drink alone. Like, even if I go to the bathroom,

I take it with me, which is probably gross for some people, but it makes it still like, it makes it harder for people to make an attempt. Because exactly. I mean, you know that one time when I might drink to the left of me, it was still in my hand, but I'm turned to the right. Yeah, I'm turned to the right.

There was a bunch of guys on the left side that kept kind of like, hollering, like, and I was not interested in talking to them. I was talking to my friends. I'm facing you and whoever else. It could have been so easy to just drop whatever they dropped into my drink. I had this really weird reaction right, like very soon after that to the point where I,

you guys, I might have said this before, I don't know, but it was during Christmas time, I'm wearing like flashy Christmas lights. And I just started sweating and I felt like the flashes were just in my face and I'm like, I gotta go. I didn't even wanna tell anyone, I'm just like, I gotta get out of here. Didn't we leave? Yeah. And then you ran after me and you were like, what are you doing? I'm like, I gotta go. I didn't even wanna tell anyone, I'm just like, I gotta get out of here. Didn't we leave?

Yeah. And then you ran after me and you were like, what are you doing? I'm like, I don't know what's happening to me, I gotta go. And then you were like, I'll go with you. And so I hate when people Irish goodbye. Yeah, well, I was panicking.

They put something in my drink for sure. No, I was definitely. Yeah, you definitely got rufied. I don't know if it was rufied, but it was, they did something. They put something in my drink. I feel like anything, maybe the term has evolved at least in my head. Oh, okay.

But anytime someone puts something in your drink, that shouldn't belong there. Yeah. I call, I'm just like, that's Roofied. Okay. That's Roofied. But I know there's Roofalind, so it's like it's confusing. But that's how I use the term, right? Okay, moving along. Mm-hmm.

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Make sure to go to embracepetenturance.com slash THD or else they won't know we sent you. That's embracepetenturance.com slash THD. Next one, also coming from our our two hot takes subreddit. 26 days old, titled, Am I the asshole for telling my parents the only way I will let them meet my son is if they give me their dog to put down. I do not in any way want to harm my parents dog. When I left for university, I had to leave my dog behind with my parents. I was the last kid out of the house, and they liked their empty nest. To make sure it

was super empty, they put down my dog. She was a six-year-old beagle bass at cross in perfect health. I had rescued her. I got a job to pay for her food and vet. Before I left, I quintupled checked with my parents that they were okay, taking care of her while I was at school. They were not. They told me she got out of the yard and was hit by a car. I found out the truth from my brother and I cut them out of my life. They killed my best friend. My friend from high school had offered to take her, but I didn't want to have her get attached and then have to fight to get my dog back. I honestly thought I could trust my parents.

It's been eight years since I've talked to them. Wow. They were not invited to my wedding and I do not attend family gatherings where they are. I have a three-month-old son now with my husband. My brother and his family were over to meet him and he asked me if I'm ever going to forgive our parents. I said no. My mom contacted me and asked what it would take for me to forgive them and let them meet their grandson.

They have a French bulldog puppy. I said that if they gave me their dog, so I could have it put down, then I would forgive them. She said I was being ridiculous, and that was not going to happen. I told her she cares more about a dog than her family, which is what she always accuses me of. My brother says I'm being an asshole. They made a stupid mistake,

but that it should be forgiven. I'm never going to get over it. Am I the asshole? Oh, I can't believe her parents did that. That's so fucked up. I can't believe a vet would do that. And I hope, I really hope, like, I don't even know if vets can do this.

I feel like I've seen a vet tech story about someone bringing in a cat to put down and they ended up keeping it, but maybe the people ended up giving permission, but I hope to God of that would not put down an animal that doesn't need to be put down like this. Right, that's insane. Yeah, you would think that they would be like, we can bring this animal's healthy, we can

bring it to the shelter and have the animal be adopted. Like, why are you wanting to put this animal down? That seems... I can't believe that's allowed, to be honest. But in terms of if she's asking if she's the asshole, well, if she actually did that, then yes, she would be the asshole. But I think if she was just saying that to try to make a point so they could finally register it in their head, then that's a different story.

But if they agreed to it and she actually took the puppy and killed the puppy, then yes, you're a hundred percent the asshole. That doesn't take, that doesn't fix what happened. That's another innocent animal that's being, I'm just so fucking mad at which part? All of it. Me too. I think it's bullshit and I think it's like really,

really fucked up. The fact that they have a puppy right now. Yeah. You didn't want a dog, but now you've got a fucking puppy. And I think there is a really warm place in hell for people that will drop their old dogs off at the shelter because they want a new puppy. That's insane.

Anything people did that. Oh, so, so much. People, I feel like a lot of the animals I saw at the Burbank Animal Shelter when I went were owner surrenders. Like, it's really sad. And I know life circumstances happened. You lose your job, you lose your house

and sometimes that's the best thing for your animal. But if you're giving up an animal to get another one, especially a new shiny puppy, fuck you. Yeah. That is wild. I didn't know that that happened. Yeah, you should be banned from getting animals. Yeah. Oh, these parents are absolutely insane.

I don't know. Who fucking does that? Who does that? I honestly, it sucks that she doesn't have her parents in her life anymore. Who fucking does that? Who does that? I honestly, it sucks that she doesn't have her parents in her life anymore, but I don't blame her. That is insane. Totally justified. Who does that to somebody? Especially when you know how much they love this animal. She even said it was her best friend. It's like, when I moved here, I couldn't bring Sunny with and I begged my mom to keep her

and my mom really didn't want to. If I found out that my mom had sunny killed, I don't know how I would look at her the same. Like I just wouldn't, no. Like if anything, if you really don't want the animal, then you just don't accept the animal. You say, I'm sorry, you're on your own, you have to figure it out, we are not accepting this animal.

I don't want the animal. You don't just go and have it killed. How crazy are you? Like, that's insane. I didn't think at least just ask her, like, hey, we really, we've tried, the dog isn't working out. You know, we want to travel, we're busy. Can you, you know, find another spot for your dog?

Why couldn't you just have that simple conversation? Yeah. What the fuck is wrong in your head? I wonder how horrible they felt when they told her that the dog was hit by a car and then watching her ball her eyes out. I don't think they felt bad. I think these people are a little screw loose.

Screwy, they're a little screwy. I wonder. I'm looking for a screwy. Yeah. Screwy, they're a little screwy. I wonder if I'm looking for a screwy. Does she ever say that she would actually do that though? Because I can't imagine, just with the other story, that's not the solution. So I hope that she was just trying to put that in their head to make them understand the pain of it.

If she actually would go forward with it, then it's like what makes you any better, because that's taking away an innocent animal's life for no reason, just because you're upset. Yeah. So I am mistaken. The post I'm reading off of is coming from the two hot takes subreddit.

This is a repost from AITH. So the post was removed from the moderators on there. And so good job for someone posting it on THT. Thank you for that. KMJ1027. So there are some comments on OP's account. A lot of people like didn't read the fact that like OP, literally said, I do not want to harm my parents' dog in any way.

Like, that was the first line on the post. Yeah, I didn't even, I think it was more so like, like even if the parents would have been like, okay, fine, here's our dog. I don't think OP would have done it. That's what I'm saying. I'm like, if she, if she just did that to make them think and then if they handed the dog over,

she was like, no, I'm not going to do this. Yeah. Then that's a different story. But if she actually would go through with it, like, there's, that's not okay. Yeah. So lots of comments from OP on this one. This comment was deleted, but OP goes, it is manipulative when they say it to me that I cut them out of my life for putting my dog down. You are absolutely correct. And as for leaving her behind, I never expected to get a scholarship to my dream school. I was planning on going to school while I lived at home. Someone goes, you're the asshole. I want to focus specifically on what's happening now and not your parents killing your dog because they're clearly assholes for that, but it's not the main focus of the post. Well, it's not the main focus because she asked at the end,

am I the asshole for saying this to my parents? But it kind of is the main focus. This is the whole context that they're cut out of her life because they killed her dog. Yeah, the problem is like, oh, well, let me see my grandson, but they're not connected at all. Yeah. Because of point A. Right, no, of course, it is the meat and substance

of the post, for, but like I feel like what they're potentially trying to say is that you're asking a question, am I the asshole for saying that I want to kill their puppy? Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah, I think I'm assuming that's what the commenter means. So you went no contact with them and that's your choice. I probably would have done the same thing. It's been eight years and you absolutely don't have to forgive them. Killing a dog for no reason is despicable. Right. Telling them to kill their dog and saying that if they don't, they care more about the dog, then their family makes you the asshole. I know you don't actually mean it when you say that. As you said at the top of the post, you don't want to hurt the dog, but saying it just to prove

a point is cruel. You should have just said nothing could make you forgive them or not talk to them at all. And OPE replies, they are choosing their dog over family. And the person responds, yeah. And I would too, if my only options were killing my puppy or seeing my grandchild, and OPE goes, and that's fine. But they should not give me shit for cutting them out of my life, for putting my dog down.

Yeah, she's trying to make them really register it. I think so too. Because they haven't gotten it after all these years. Exactly. I'm sure it's been a very continued conversation of like, just get over it. Exactly. You're choosing a dead dog over your family.

Exactly. We're family. Yeah, that classic. We're family. Yeah. So I mean, yeah, saying that is extreme, but I get what she's trying to do. And I didn't realize that she mentioned that

in the first part of the first line that she wouldn't harm them. Yeah, so we do find out more too. So someone just like, is like, you're the asshole, your parents are obviously awful. If you aren't going to forgive them, just say that and go no contact. They go on to say, I see you said,

you don't wanna harm the dog, then why offer up a choice when there really is no choice? What would you do if you found out they put their dog down in the hopes of seeing their grandchild? Would you let them back in your life? Which is why I said they had to give me it to do it. I do not want that dog hurt, or for them to lie and re-home it and try to trick me.

So if they give you their dog, are you going to let them see your kid? If the answer is no, then just say you don't forgive them and leave it at that. And Opie goes, I would keep the dog and let them meet my son. Which honestly, I like this. I don't think they're capable of having a puppy and a dog because the first time things got hard or it was inconvenient for them, they put a dog down, right? What's gonna happen to this dog? OP would probably be a better dog owner.

Yeah. I'm on board. Yeah, I mean, if they hand this stuttering over here, I'm so frustrated. I'm like in my own world, I didn't even notice what happened, so. But, but, but, but, but, but. I'm like in my own world, I didn't even notice what happened. So, I'm like, porky the pig. That's all folks. No, I not that I was in my own world. I was the wrong

phrase, but I was just so, it didn't phase me at all. Like that sounded like normal, just like, hey, how's it going? Oh, man, not sick by that. And then you started laughing at yourself. I'm like, oh, yes, that was a And don't you start laughing at yourself? I'm like, oh yes, that was a funny little thing you do with your lips. I'm losing it over here. Okay, moving along. Another one of this week's partners is Masterclass. Justin and I are just about to finish our house, you guys.

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at masterclass.com slash THT. Right now you can get two memberships for the price of one at masterclass.com slash THT masterclass.com slash THT offer terms apply. This is coming from relationship advice. It is two days old. Also dog related. My 29 male boyfriend takes advantage of being a golden retriever and I 28 female and setup. I 28 female have been with my boyfriend for six years. We've been living together for the past two. He's a giant, dorky handsome gamer

with a naive child like heart. Recently, he went on a work trip with a new colleague, 29 female and came back on Cloud 9. Shortly after, I noticed he was hiding his phone. I asked if he noticed he was doing so. He said, quote, oh, no. A few days later, I explicitly asked him if he was texting his colleague. He said yes, and I lied before when you asked because I didn't want you to get the wrong

idea. We had been going through some other relationship issues related to his avoidant attachment, so I believed him, but asked if he could slow down building this new relationship as we work to fix ours. He agreed. He's a golden retriever. He just wanted everyone to be happy. Two days later, I felt what can only be explained as women's intuition, or maybe it was the

bad falloffal. I asked to see his phone, which I've never done. Sure enough, hundreds of photos were shared with the colleague over the last few weeks, and messages shared with her while I was left on red. I asked to see Instagram, and he added and DMed her, mere hours after I'd asked him to slow things down. I thought the messages were flirtatious, talking about showers, how it's dangerous to go against HR and add her on Insta, but he assured me that he was not capable of that. Again, he's just a cuddly dog.

A week later, he told me that he told his colleague that I was uncomfortable with their relationship. I wish he had an Airdar problems out to her or blamed me. Then he asked me if he could start texting her out of work hours again. He feels bad that he made things awkward. All throughout this he's still neglected our underlying relationship problems and instead prioritized her and her needs. When I call him out, it's my fault for assuming such a lovable guy could be capable of such calculated betrayal. He's close friends with two of his exes, so I don't have a problem with him having female friends, but this is different. Am I overreacting or just stupid?

You're not overreacting. That's what people do. Me? I'm just a cut of a golden retriever. You know what I mean? Playing dumb like that? Come on. If you feel it in your gut, you've been with him for how long now, and you're feeling your gut that something is off, and the messages are talking about showering and stuff like that. I mean, at least he showed you all the messages. Like, there's that, that's good. But like, even if there's nothing technically crossing the line right now, it seems like they both have that in their head

that there's potential for it to cross the line later. If you know what I mean, I mean, if I was this person, and I had just met somebody, a guy very recently and he has a serious girlfriend that he lives with and then I found out that she was uncomfortable with how often we talk, I would be like, you know, she probably has a point. We probably talk a little too often and if you guys aren't in a good place right now, that's probably not healthy for anyone. You know, like, let's say that this coworker, let's say she's single. Like, if

I was in that situation and if I was single and I started talking to this guy and like, we get along so well and we're laughing and we're DMing and texting all the time. And then I find out he's a girlfriend. It's like, I would want to back off. I would too. It just feels like you can be friends with someone without talking about showers and, oh, it's dangerous, HR is gonna find out. It's like that, it's just, I think it's a really bad place to put yourself in.

If you're having relationship issues, if you had like the sturdy, like let's say it's like you and Justin, like you guys have one of the sturdiest relationships that I know of, like from, you know, like you, not that I know of with you guys, I mean that I know of in general. Yes, let me do that one more time. I was good. No need to. And if he had somebody that he was texting or a coworker and he was talking to her this often, you might kind of be like, well, this is strange, but you also would be like, but it's fine

because we're in a really good place. Maybe it dependent on exactly what those messages look like and how frequent it was. It's all about contacts. Exactly. But like if you're not, if you and Justin were having like a lot of issues and you guys were on like the brinks

and you're like trying to figure this out make sure that you guys are having a sturdy relationship That is not helping and if he is gonna like ask for your permission Can I talk like texture outside of work hours again? It's like can you focus on us? Like why is this person feel like more of a priority than me? You left me on red in all these moments when You were responding to her, sending her pictures and laughing back. It seems like you're not invested in me.

It seems like you're more invested in her. I don't care if you say that there's nothing flirty going on and you're not capable of it. This still doesn't feel good. Even it was like your guy friend, your guy friend was messaging him and he was responding to all of the messages, a guy friend and laughing at his phone and not responding to you.

You'd still be like, what the heck, this doesn't feel good. We're already having issues in our relationship and you're just going to completely blow me off like that. Doesn't feel good. No. So, bullshit with his golden retriever stuff doesn't mean just because you're not cheating that you can still be like, so aloof and disrespectful. You said it so well, so, so well.

And I think the bottom line is like, how are you guys feeling? And like your relationship is suffering. It's fine to make new friends, is this crossing into emotional affair territory? It could be, based on the messages. I think it's crazy to share hundreds of photos over the last few weeks. You're talking all the time.

Yeah. Like, exactly. You're focused so much on this colleague. How are you even getting any fucking work done? And it's just like, your partner should be a bigger priority and you're not. Yeah. That's the bottom line. And the fact he's even being like, oh no, I'm just a cuddly guy.

You wouldn't want to hurt anyone. I just think there's definitely dudes that are golden retrievers, we've all met them. There's nothing wrong with that, but damn, don't take advantage of it. Don't try to play a new ad and act all naive when your partner's hurting and trying to work on things with you.

Exactly. It feels like he's already checking out. To. But it feels like he's already checking out. Right. To me, it feels like he's checking out. Mm. Um, top comment on this one. That's a new way to spell emotional cheater and OP responds, ha ha, yep, just a different type of dog.

Person responds, goes, yeah, take this one to the pound. Those, that kind of, that was kind of funny. It's some banter, some banter. And someone goes, a golden retriever doesn't need to tell others they're a golden retriever. They're too busy having fun, and they'd never betray anyone. So there's no reason to bother making excuses.

Your partner is no golden retriever. No, and that's what I was trying to say. I was thinking too, I was just trying to say that. I was thinking that too, it's like, but I'm like, okay, well, I also think people can announce self-proclaim those sorts of certain things, so I didn't wanna say that, but I was thinking that. Yeah.

I felt the same way. Like, I'm a golden retrieval. I'm just so innocent. That's like the same thing about guys. I'm like, I'm such a nice guy. I'm such a nice guy. I'm such a nice guy. Sorry, I'm just not interested. Okay, you ugly bitch.

I didn't want to go on a date with you anyways. Oh my god, the worst. We all have been there at least one time. God, it's just like, you're like, it feels like whiplash. You're like, what? Like, okay, I'm just not interested. Wild.

But you're such a nice guy. Oh man. Yeah, I just a nice guy. Oh, man. Yeah, I just, I think this one, this will be interesting. I'm trying to see if there's any more comments from OP here or a little bit of an update. So this is a comment I think might be good. OP, so I'm going to brag here for a second because my boyfriend is the definition

of a literal golden retriever, which I would say Justin has golden retriever tendencies when it comes to like other people. Like he's just so nice and bubbly and like, I don't think he would be able to tell that a girl was flirting with him, which is what this person says. He's oblivious to other people flirting with him. He's always trying to make others happy.

He's never want to shy away from a good social time, but his number one priority is always me. Mm-hmm. Yeah. They go on, they say a lot. And then they... Yeah, and there's nothing, I don't think that the phrase golden retriever is bad.

I think it's cute. I think it would have. When it's not this guy, it's a good one. Yeah, he's trying to make that as an excuse to not prioritize his relationship. And it's just like, okay. Yeah, they go on to say, now there can be some problems with a golden retriever boyfriend.

Since he's oblivious to people flirting with him, he sometimes doesn't see the signs that someone is actively trying to flirt with him unless it's quite literally in his face or if I tell him. If a girl tries to sit down next to him at lunch and says, hey, I think you're pretty cute. Can I get your Insta slash snap? He'll say no and get up and walk away and find a different tries to sit down next to him at lunch and says, hey, I think you're pretty cute. Can I get your Insta slash snap? He'll say no and get up and walk away

and find a different spot to sit. He'll let me know what happened, what he did, and then we laugh about it. That's a good golden retriever. Yeah. Good boy. He knows who the real owner is. Just kidding.

Just kidding. Just kidding. OP hearts it. A lot of comments though. My girl, come on. He's definitely emotionally cheating on you. At a minimum, otherwise he lied to your face about talking to her. And as you say, he's more concerned with her feelings than yours.

Yeah, there's a few comments from OP. I don't see any official update yet. Someone goes, the coworker is just a symptom. She's not your actual problem. If he's neglecting your relationship and not giving you what you want from a partner for any reason, then it's okay to decide this isn't what you want.

Right. Well, I also got to, it also is hard for me not to believe that the coworker doesn't have feelings for him. If she is straight and attracted to men and potentially finds him attractive physically, I mean, I guess I don't know, we don't know those details. But like, let's say that she does, and then she's spending that much time in constant contact with her, and like, let's say she also is single too, she's got to develop some kind of feelings, right? Like, you would think.

You would think. So it's like even if he genuinely doesn't have any feelings for her, it's like, well, maybe try to read the room a little bit because you might be stringing along someone who is just thinking like, he loves me. It's like, you know. Oh, God. Well, and that's like the recipe for the start of a good relationship.

Like, that's kind of a part of the recipe. It's is like he pays attention to me. He's super nice to me I have really good times with him banter banter is great communication love He's engaging like attention. It's attention. It's like literally attention food time At least for me and so it's like if he's like giving all of this like the initial mixing ingredients like to start a relationship How do you differentiate that? Yeah, what's not to get her excited? Yeah, what's not to get them both like caught up in the moment and there is a post That I could actually read that from the two out takes subreddit that plays into this a little bit But it literally is that vibe which I had a different one

But that's the way we're going to go right now. So moving along. Okay. I will say one thing too though, before, is that that's something that I've noticed that I would like in a partner. I know everybody's different, but something that I want in a partner is that there's a differentiation between our relationship and his relationship with other females that is not just sex, that is not just intimacy, I should say.

That is not just intimacy. Because to me, I'm like, that is so special to have all of that time when you're speaking with somebody and that closeness and those like banter and those laughs and all that stuff. So it's like, yes, I'm okay with female friends, but I do want there to be a differentiation between, you know, me and my partner and their female friends. That's not just, you know, intimacy. There should be a difference. Otherwise, like, why are you dating me and not them?

Right. Like, we might be more emotionally connected. There's a deeper sense of intimacy. Like, yeah, you could have intimate close relationships with friends, but yeah, like you said, there's a difference. Yeah, like physical intimacy too. Like, is what I'm kind of referring to.

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It's titled, I was one bad decision away from cheating on my wife and it made me reevaluate how I viewed cheaters and cheating. I 28 male have been married in my wife for six years and together for 10. In that 10 years, I have never once even been close to being unfaithful until now. I hated cheaters. My dad was a cheater, his dad was a cheater, his dad was probably also a cheater. I saw how my dad's inability to keep it in his pants destroyed my mom. I knew I would never treat my wife like that, and would ensure she feels cherished all the time. I think I do. I want for her to feel loved and have never actively thought about being unfaithful, but now I'm realizing how easy it is, and it's

less than just a thought. I'm in the military and got sent to Hawaii for a temporary duty assignment. It was eight weeks apart due to my wife being tied up at work. She only stayed with me there through the first weekend. While there, I developed a close relationship with a co-worker, a bit younger than me. We had similar interests, wanted to visit the same places on the island, while off work, and had great conversations. There was a physical attraction there that I genuinely didn't notice. I was just building a friendship in a new place I was in for a few weeks. What I didn't understand is that closeness I felt, and that attraction

formed what I hadn't felt in a while. A crush. Like, I was in high school. I would get butterflies when she was texting me, asking to meet me somewhere. I would stay up awaiting her text back. I would get nervous to see her and wanted to make sure I looked my best for her. All of this was unconscious, believe it or not. It was until we took a trip to the beach,

our fifth week there. I saw her in a two-piece bathing suit and realized I was sexually attracted to her. And from what I felt, she was into me. And it kind of felt nice. She always wanted to see me, always wanted to talk, always wanted to grab drinks after work. If our hands met, she would linger. She would make deep eye contact as I rambled on whatever dumb joke I wanted to tell. When I became more cognizant, I told myself that I haven't done anything wrong, and I wouldn't.

Nothing wrong with a friendship. I won't invite her over, and I won't accept her invites. I wouldn't have more than a beer or a single drink. We wouldn't hang out past 7pm. It'll all be good. I broke these boundaries I set multiple times, except going over. Every time I did, I proved that I could be a little lenient without wanting to do her, which was awful logic.

The final task came the week she was set to leave back to her home. She lived in Texas. I was in Maryland. Multiple states away, very little chance we'd see each other again anytime soon. We hung out her last night there. Boundary number one. We were out past seven. Boundary number one, we were out past seven. Boundary two, I had more than a few drinks in my system.

She told me flat out she thought I was very attractive. She said that she wanted to spend her last night with me. She suggests we split a hotel room and a bottle of wine and see where things went. Boundary number three, if I said yes, I would have had sex with her. Even if I backed out last minute, it doesn't matter. The only reason why I would do it is so I could sleep with her. I spent what felt like hours debating it, with her little pushes towards this and my inability to maintain boundaries giving way.

I was able to spit out a, let's just call tonight, we have to be up early tomorrow. We caught a ride back to our lodging and went our separate ways. She gave me a very long hug at the end of her final day. It felt weird seeing how easy it was, how nice it feels to fall for someone again, and how deeply you can be in it before you even realize you're doing something inappropriate. This isn't to excuse cheating, or to say I am a hero, I did bad things. I did inappropriate things. Things my wife wouldn't be happy about if I told her, but my point is, it's easy, too easy. It can just happen if you're not actively working to reinforce boundaries.

Yeah, I mean, that plays off of the last story that we just talked about, too, because it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's how it happens. It's like, you may be telling yourself that it's innocent, but it's like, that's like, it's like, it's like, it's how it happens. It's like, you maybe telling yourself that it's innocent, but it's like, that's how it happens. And if you want to be, if you want to have your marriage last, and you want to honor your vows, and you want this, you know, if you want that relationship, then like, you got to, you got to set these boundaries for yourself and actually respect them.

Yeah. Because people are people and it sucks. I'd like to think that no one ever, once we're in relationships, that we all just are obsessed with each other forever and have butterflies with each other forever. But people get into routines. They're like shitting in front of each other

with a door open and then all of a sudden, someone gives them a little bit of attention. And one of the things that my friend said that the reason he didn't like dating apps is and he liked to meet someone outside of a dating app is because he was obsessed with that feeling of not knowing somebody else's feelings for him, like not knowing their intention, not knowing

if they find him cute, if he had a coworker, you know, who's kind of has a few little flirty jabs. He's like, that's the stuff that gives me that those butterflies and that lead up. And you know, he, and so he was like, if I'm on a dating app, then I'm like, okay, our intentions are both clear when we come here. There's not like those little, that little question mark. And so it sounds like that's what he's describing where he's just like, well, there was this feeling that I haven't had in so long, which was a crush,

not really knowing how she felt, but getting excited when she texts me and it wasn't conscious, I wasn't actively like, I'm gonna go out and be evil to my wife. It just happened and it started with just being innocent, nice to your co-workers, friends with your co-workers. So, it's just, yeah, it's an interesting story for him to share because usually you don't hear stuff like that.

I feel like we hear a lot of just the horrible parts behind all of it and the shadiness and the secrets and the lies and then going behind people's back. So this is an interesting one because he's really like trying to paint a picture for us. Like he said, he started with hating cheaters so deeply. And then all of a sudden he's like, what? Slip race love. Yeah.

Yeah, he wound up there. I'm self almost. It is really interesting. And I think you make a lot of great points and it got me thinking because I think a lot of times people talk about like, oh my work wife, my work husband, you'll never say that phrase if you're dating me. So I was going to ask you, like, I was going to rapid fire some things and see what your thoughts on them are. So like, okay, not okay, work wife, work husband. What just like having a crush on someone

in general, that's not your partner? I mean, I'd say no, but I do think that sometimes it's not, like what he said, it's not on purpose. You know, you might be watching a Justin Bieber video and be like, oh my God, I have such a crush on him. I also think it's different if that person's unattainable. Yeah, it's different if you like, oh, I have a Justin Bieber video and be like, oh my god, I have such a crush on him. I also think it's different if that person's unattainable. Yeah, it's different if you like, oh, I have a crush on a coworker versus I have a crush

on Pedro Pascal. Like, it's so different if that person is attainable and in your life. Pedro, she wants you. No, he's just a little cute. Yeah, he's kidding. And then I was like so curious because I've heard a lot of people cheat with colleagues.

And so I did find a Forbes article as we were sitting here. 57% report workplace relationships have impacted their performance at work. 43% have married someone they worked with. 35% don't report their relationship. 40% have cheated on their current partner with a coworker. Wow.

That is wild. I mean, that's what I was telling you because it's like these are the type of things where it's not usually malicious. I mean, who knows it can be, but it's more of just the fact of spending a lot of quality time with somebody is for my impression. I agree. I mean, we talked about the recipe and this guy was having it going.

Some good times, great communication. He felt heard. She was listening to his jokes. Yeah. Like it's just, it's just, recipe for disaster. But good on him. There was a comment on the post

where someone was like, next time this, you know, starts in-ging towards that, just like talk about your wife constantly. And he responded and goes, she knew I was married. Yeah. And she was married as well. Oh, wow. So, slip-free, slip, guys.

I think it's annoying she suggested that. Like, come on. That's why it's like be a girls girl. Like, like, you should have a good partner that doesn't cheat on you regardless. But like, it's just like this hard. Like, we all need to look out for each other. Yeah. Come on. I feel that when that happens, it gets to a point where since she was the one who was more forward, it seems to me and she was offering a hotel room bottle of wine. She was very hard. And I feel like what happens is that since she was married, it's almost like she might

have been checked out of her own marriage to the point where if another girl pursued her husband, it actually doesn't hurt her the way that it normally would. And therefore, she doesn't feel like what she's doing is that bad because her feelings for her husband have been more. If does that make sense? Yeah. I feel like that's what happens unless she's just really shitty, but if she's not a genuinely shitty person, then I feel

like that is the slope that happens. I agree. Okay, so this next one is coming from Amity Ashole. This is going to be a really interesting one. It's something I think we see kind of a lot here in California, so I'm really curious to get your take on it. It's titled, Amma the Ashole for telling my sister-in-law that if her service dog can't ignore children,

he isn't a service dog. I have two kids, 11 male and nine female. My sister-in-law has a service dog who has been with her for about six months now. He is 18 months old. It was my son's birthday party last weekend, which she was at, and obviously had a whole ton of young boys running right around my house.

My daughter also had two friends over, younger siblings of the boys, as well as our fur pets. All in all, there was nine children, three dogs and a cat causing chaos. At one point, one of our rabbits escaped and was running around too. My sister-in-law's dog. So sister-in-law's dog, couldn't cope. He was so excited and wasn't paying any attention to her. My daughter and her friends said hi to him, but otherwise left him alone. He was losing his shit the whole time,

and my sister-in-law had to leave. My son was a little upset, but overall didn't mind, just asked that she could come over for a mini-birthday. Yesterday was that mini-birthday. It was much quieter, just the family, and the dog was still losing it. He was jumping around and she wasn't able to control him. She had a flare-up, which he ignored. She got quite frustrated and asked my children to leave the room. They did, and he finally calmed down. They came back in, and he got excited again.

The kids weren't comfortable, so they went to play, and we had a conversation. I basically said, if she can't control him, I don't want him in my house. She replied that he's a service dog, and goes everywhere with her. So I'd essentially be banning her. I said that he was a shit service dog and he had ignored her flare-up and wouldn't listen. Then she blamed my kids, saying my daughter had gotten him, excited last time, and now he thinks that kids mean play time. I told her that if her service dog can't ignore children while working, he's not really a service dog.

She got upset and left, saying she was uncomfortable with me. Later on, my husband pulled me aside and asked me to apologize because I'd hurt her feelings. I said I didn't think an apology would be worth it because I'm not sorry. I meant what I said. He told me he understood, but that it's a bitchy move to not even try to apologize.

She then texted me and said that he had a situation with a child when he was in training, but she is paying out money to get him retrained now. I don't know what that situation is, but I do feel bad. I think she was trying to use my kids to socialize him, and it hasn't worked, and I feel much worse. Haven't yet responded, because I do still somewhat stand by what I said. But I also feel awful about making her feel so insecure. Am I the asshole?

Well, it sounds like she was right for what she said. So I wouldn't say that she's the asshole. Maybe she could have went about it more gracefully. I think at one point you said that she said he's a shit service dog. That's all I will address. Maybe she could have used like a different word. But also, I don't know what the service dog is for specifically.

So obviously, I think when you mentioned before you started saying this story, that we see this a lot in L.A., I mean, a lot of people have service dogs and a lot of times it's their fake. Yeah, I mean, it's not, it is nice to have a dog, right? And if people have a lot of anxiety or social anxiety or whatever it is, then they can kind of just label their dog as being a service dog and have your dog come in anywhere with you.

Like, I have a friend whose dog is technically a service dog, you have your dog come in anywhere with you. I have a friend whose dog is technically a service dog, labeled as one, to make it easier to get on flights and whatnot, not have to package the dog underneath. But there's a difference between a service dog, though, and an emotional support animal. Service dogs perform tasks. Okay, so now that you mentioned that, and I'm wondering if he actually is a service dog, he might just be emotional support dog then. He's not a service dog. No, I know, but I'm just saying like she's misusing the word. She's, she's abusing the system because they abandoned emotional support dogs. They don't let them on planes like they used to. You could bring an emotional support duck. Well, that's them on planes like they used to. You could bring an emotional

support duck. And then they really rolled back the rules. But a lot of people do it. Like a lot of people, like, and this is like, I have a lot of pepies lately. I'm starting to realize, but I don't like when people abuse the term service dog. Like, well, that's what now, that's what I'm wondering now is that I guess I didn't really realize. I mean, I do when I don't, because I see dogs that have service dog, please do not pet on them. You can buy those on Amazon. Right, but I'm just saying, so I don't, I guess I don't know when the difference is, because now I'm trying to think back to when I go into coffee shops,

sometimes they'll be like no animals besides, and I don't know if they say service dogs or emotional support dogs. It says service animals. It says service animals. Yeah. I think like, here's, I don't ask people, I'm like, you do you. I don't say shit when I see shit, but I will say it is annoying as fuck. When you see a dog that's out there, and it's usually the doodles, just gonna, you know, I don't know what that word is, I'm looking for it right now, holy shit. You don't like it, I'm gonna generalize, I'm gonna generalize.

And I know not all doodles, I get that. I love a well-behaved doodle, love it, especially one that gets brushed properly. But a lot of times you'll see these dogs with these service dog vests, and they're yanking their owners all over the place, they're barking at other dogs in the airport, they're lunging at their leash, that's not a service dog vest and they're yanking their owners all over the place. They're barking at other dogs in the airport. They're lunging out their leash.

That's not a service dog. Even a service dog in training wouldn't act like that. Right. So it's really, really annoying to me, especially because people that do have real service dogs like a blind person that has a guide dog. That doesn't help the blind dog, blind dog. The guide dog performed their job. And I saw this one girl who her guide dog

that she waited years for, can be very expensive. Her service dog got attacked by another dog. Claiming to be a service dog. Like that's bullshit. I guess I'm not very familiar with all those type of stories. I haven't seen that firsthand. Like I haven't seen dogs before I was at the airport.

So I don't know. I don't know. I feel like it's everywhere in LA. But so yeah, I really haven't seen that. So I guess I'm not, I don't have any type of like feelings or any anger towards it. Yeah, if I saw, you know, somebody have an actual service dog that is absolutely like needed to help them.

And then another dog who has a service vest who is barking and attacking this dog, that would be really frustrating to see. I think the only part that I have a hard time is I just remember hearing a story once where somebody forced somebody's dog to be in an overhead bin. And then when the dog was dyed- yeah, dyed and bunch of bulldog. Yeah, yeah, it's just when I hear stories like that.

And I hear dogs dying that are under the plane as well. And so that's what makes me feel like it's just, it's hard because if I was a dog owner, I would be very scared to not be able to have my dog with me on the plane. And so I think that's the hard part for me is to think about my dog being under the plane and being potentially in danger, especially if I'm moving far away or doing a really long plane ride.

That's what makes it scary. And that's why I just wish there was maybe a better system all around where people are not abusing the system, saying that they're service dogs, but then there's also better ways to make sure that the animals are in good care. Yeah. I think that's just kind of like the pie you pick

when you have an animal. Like you either have to drive or put them under right now. And like I don't, I think like well behave dogs. Yeah, they should be able to be up top in the plane. But like how are airlines airlines gonna control that? Like, damn, your dog is reactive and attacking other customers. Like, yeah.

There was a golden retriever. I don't remember when this was or what airline, but there was a golden retriever that they were saying was a service dog, bit multiple people on the plane and how to get taken off. Stop. See, that's so shitty.

How do you, how do you balance that? Yeah. But back to this one, this is obviously a shitty situation because she does need a real service dog. A lot of people were asking, where did she get this service dog because it can take a lot of time to get one. They were also concerned that the service dog's age is only 18 months.

Right, that's what I was thinking. Because a lot of times the training, it's 18 months and she's had is only 18 months. Right. That's what I was thinking. Because a lot of times the training, like, she, it's 18 months and she's had it for six months. Meaning she got the dog out of year, which a lot of people were like a qualified well-trained service dog. She wouldn't have even gotten out of year. A lot of people are just like very confused by this and start asking like, where did she get the service dog, things like that.

I mean, I think this is an easy fix though, because OPs says that she feels bad, so apologize, but just say, it's just it's hard when I don't feel like the service dog is doing its job, and then I feel like my kids have to tiptoe around the dog. And I just, I want to be comfortable in my own home, but I am sorry for coming at you like that. Yeah, so someone goes, not the asshole.

You are absolutely right. It's not a service dog. They are extensively trained and extremely expensive. It sounds like she got a dog and someone trained it and called it a service dog. 18 months sounds kind of young. Yeah, to be honest, I'm not sure where she got him. She was talking about wanting one and then like the following week, he was in her house. If her dog is so freaked out around kids that he ignores her flare-ups and her,

he needs a lot more training and frankly to stay away from kids for a while. Dog is a lousy surf dog right now. He's not doing his job at all. 18 months old is very young to be a surfist dog, barely out of puppyhood, what breed is he? My husband had two Labrador guide dogs and they are not ready till at least two years old.

And I also know a little bit about this because I signed up To be a guide dog puppy razor So I'm looking into that. So essentially you work with organizations that need people to raise the guide dog puppies And then at a year old you give them up and they go into like actual guide dog training. Okay, so like that's why I'm like Waities 18 months, she had him now for six months, she got him at a year, that like doesn't, it didn't sound right. Right.

And so OP goes, he's a poodle. They used to show dogs as kids, so it was a bridge he felt comfortable with, but yeah, still very much a puppy. And then there's another comment where she's describing what he was doing. He was actively pulling and jumping and trying to get away from a sister in law. We've never had a dog do that with our kids.

If he was just distracted, that would be one thing, but he was actively trying to escape and nothing was working to regain his attention. That sucks. And people are like, maybe you should inspect why you judge your sister in law so negatively, but whatever, that wasn't a good move to take that 18 year old, 18 month old puppy, service trainer, otherwise to such a shit show invite her in her dog back on a normal day when your house is in a literal zoo filled with kids on crack. And opi goes, we did he was still losing it. And someone goes, is it a service dog or comfort dog for her anxieties? Yeah, that's what I was trying to ask.

And opi goes, she is a disabled woman. He is a service dog who does tasks when he feels like it. Mm-hmm. Okay. So I think she's just not a very good service dog. Yeah, and so a flare-up, which you could apparently detect herself just fine, he's not meant to fix the flare-up. He's training to grab her medication

and make sure she is safe. Mm-hmm. So cool that dogs can do that. But I think they'll get through this. The dog's gonna get more training. The sister-in-law, it sounds like he is like an actual service dog, but maybe just wasn't trained very well or properly. So maybe he was from a backyard service dog breeder.

I don't know if that's a thing. I'm sure. It's backyard everything. Backyard everything. But I feel like they'll work this out. Yeah, this isn't easy. But I don't know if that's a thing. I'm sure. It's backyard everything. Backyard everything. But I feel like they'll work this out. Yeah, this isn't easy. But I don't necessarily feel, if it were me, I would probably

apologize for like my tact. Yeah, but not necessarily for what I said. Right. That's what I would agree with that. Okay, so overall vote was not the asshole. Yeah. Okay, well that was the last one for our regular episode. Yay.

We have one more for Patreon where I'm gonna throw some family members of mine under the bus. Oh, so you don't wanna miss it? Damn. Are you gonna say who they are? Oh yeah, for sure. Wow. Yeah. Do they listen?

Not on Patreon. They will now. No, it's just my dad. I'm gonna roast his ass, mice. Okay. Okay. Thank you guys so, so much for joining us. Oh my God. It's been an amazing year. This is the last episode we'll have together for 2023. 2023 out. It's crazy. We have our live show tickets on sale. I know there's a couple cities that have already sold out So we've added second shows. So if your city sold out be sure to check that I know Austin and Philly are getting second shows

Philly is gonna have some amazing guests coming so you don't want to miss that one And we're trying to plot people in at various spots, but it's gonna be so much fun. I've already come up with a new segment Hey, what's that? I can't oh should I tell no? No, it's gonna be so much fun. I've already come up with a new segment. Hey, what's that? Okay, should I tell? No, no, it's gonna be a surprise. I'll tell you, I'll tell you though. Okay. But other than that,

how'd I ever do Patreon? Love you guys. Thank you for an amazing year. Thank you! Until next time. We love you. Muah! Bye! Business notifications getting out of hand, buried under an avalanche of customer emails,

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