Two Hot Takes - 157: The Ridiculousness of it All.. Ft. Chris Olsen

Episode Date: March 14, 2024

WE'RE ON TOUR!!! : https://linktr.ee/twohottakestour Link for Google Form if you're attending one of our shows: https://forms.gle/A9WkQAci26LhMZjs5 Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Chris Olson! This week's stories have us wondering, "they can't be serious right?". Some are ridiculous, and some of the people involved are so ridiculously terrible I pop off.. Luckily we have Chris here to give his well communicated, empathetic takes! Going to need your takes on these ones too because I got a bit in over my head with a couple. Checkout Chris!!: https://www.tiktok.com/@chris?lang=en https://www.instagram.com/chrisolsen/?hl=en MERCH IS HERE ! https://shop.twohottakes.com I can't wait to see you all in these, especially at our live shows!! Our PO Box!! Two Hot Takes. 5042 Wilshire BLVD. #470. Los Angeles, CA 90036 Bonus Content on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Our SubReddit to Submit YOUR Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes Partners: Quince: quince.com/tht Fast Growing Trees: FastGrowingTrees.com Promo Code: THT

Hi there, my name is Alameen Abdelmahmoud. I am the host of the CBC podcast, Commotion. You need to drop by, okay, because that's where we talk about all things pop culture. We talk about what people are watching, what people are listening to, like how the Smiths got on a Trump rally playlist, or how Elmo became the internet's therapist, or how DadTV got so darn popular. Commotion with Alameen Abou Mahmoud is available on CBC Listen or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, we are rolling on everything. Are you ready?

I'm so ready. Ah, Chris! Thank you for having me, first of all. Thank you for being here. I feel like you are just gallivanting all over. Like you have such a busy schedule. So I feel honored. The helicopter landed on top of this building.

Thank God. I came down and then I'm gonna like helicopter right out of here. I know, thank God I had the helipad. Yeah, thank God you did. Yeah, I have the aeros tour to be at. Are you going? I've been once or twice.

I may go again. You may hop across. I don't know. No, not in Australia, but perhaps again. I'm trying to go in London, I think. London or Sweden. I would love to go in London. I know. I mean, she's doing like six shows at Wembley or something like that. It's just unreal. It's unreal what that woman can do.

It's insane. The Heiress Tour could probably go on for like a decade and we would all continue to sell it out. Yeah, I would agree with that. It's insane. It's insane. She could, the heiress tour could probably go on for like a decade and we would all continue to sell it out. Yeah, I would agree with that. Well, okay, for those that don't know Chris, today we're joined by Chris Olson. Chris. Hello!

So cute. I really want your little Elmo voice to come out today. Oh, it will. I'm sure it will for some story. Yeah. Yes! From your singing video. But you got your start really on TikTok. I did.

And then it just blew up. You were doing a lot of relationship content and then your content has just like flourished and turned into you kind of do everything. Yeah, there's actually frequently a lot of discourse on like what I do. I think a lot of the time I see the comment a lot, especially when I'm at an award show that's like,

who is he? Why is he here? What does Chris Wilson do other than be gay? That was one of the comments I saw most recently was, what does Chris do other than like be part of the queer community? And I was like, nothing really, just that. But yeah, like I started TikTok in 2020 in a relationship and was doing like couple content for a long time and I'm a baseline I do social media I'm a content creator and the relationship didn't work out I kept doing TikTok on my own and now it's just kind of grown into me doing a lot with social media, but that is what I

do. Social media, share my life, share when I go to these fun events, and try to run around and do as much as humanly possible. Yeah, I can relate to that. Well, being in, you've kind of like become a little celebrity now too, like you're in such a celebrity sphere. Careful with that word these days. Careful. Some would say, no.

No, he's not. There was a difference between celebrity and TikTok. And I'll agree with you. I agree with you. There can be a difference. There was some heat at an award show recently. Yeah. Very recent.

Too many TikTokers. Very recent. I don't fault anyone for that comment. I don't fault Billie Eilish. I would probably also be a little confused as to why so many TikTokers were there. I think the people's choice words out of any award show invite the most TikTokers.

But if I'm getting an invite to those things, I'm gonna go. You're gonna say yes. So if there's a problem with that, take it up with them. And not me, but I'm gonna keep going because I love a little party. Who wouldn't wanna go? Like, invite me everywhere. Like, I literally will send emails to Spotify after they love a little party. Who wouldn't want to go? Like, invite me everywhere. Like, I literally will send emails to Spotify

after they've had a party and I'm like, why didn't I get invited? Sure, yeah. I want to go. Who doesn't love an excuse to like dress up and have fun? And I understand the discourse around it. And I understand that celebrity and TikToker are two different things.

And I understand that maybe some celebrities are a little confused as to why a lot of TikTokers are getting us. There's levels though, even to celebrity hood. Like there's so many different levels to it. I kind of feel like if I were to put myself in her shoes, it's kind of like, to put it in basis terms, she's a high schooler and she's like,

wait, why are the middle schoolers here? They haven't put in the work to get here. And it's just like, yeah, we just put in some different work. So I understand the take. I wasn't mad haven't put in the work to get here. And it's just like, yeah, we just put in some different work. So I understand the take. I wasn't mad at the take by Billy Eilish specifically. And when I get an invite to a show, I'm gonna go and I'm gonna have fun.

And I'm also gonna continue showing off how excited I am to be in the room with these people. And the TikTokker's success does not take away from the real celebrity success. We're all just doing our best. We're all in this together. Yeah. I used to know that dance.

I could see that. Yeah, like, you know how High School Musical released, like, High School Musical, and then they released High School Musical, the sing-along, and then they released High School Musical, the dance-along? Oh yeah.

Oh, I watched them all. I watched them all and I was practicing in that, in my living room. Were you a theater kid? One of the biggest theater kids I know. Okay. Especially in this town, Los Angeles. I went to boarding school. I went to boarding school for musical theater.

Okay. I went to theater camp for seven years of my life. You were the real deal. And I majored in musical theater in college. Did you originally move out to LA to try to make it in theater? No, LA was never on my radar. I moved out to LA with, in a relationship,

because he had lived here before and it was COVID. So we were like, let's not spend the rest of, winter was coming in New York, winter is coming. Winter was coming in New York. So we were like, let's spend the rest of COVID out in LA. And right before we moved, we started blowing up too. So I was like, oh, LA seems to be like a good place for social media.

But no, my goal was, I had just gotten certified to be a group fitness trainer at Equinox, at a gym. And so my goal was do that, move to New York, teach the girlies how to squat, get snatched, and try to make it on Broadway. That was like the goal. I love that. But then everything kind of changed.

And I'm happy with the way it changed for sure, but that was gonna be my track. Okay, amazing. You've been through it. You've seen some things off the top of your head. What do you feel like is the most ridiculous thing you've seen across your life, career, whatever it is? A ridiculous thing, just like I've witnessed.

Yeah, like someone trying to open an airplane door on one of your trips. The Will Smith slap at the Oscars. That was the one and only Oscars I went to. And so that was- Coincidence? Coincidence. Who knows? That was definitely like that always comes to mind.

It's like the craziest moment that happened maybe like in this business. I oddly I so I fly a lot as well. And it happens more often than you would expect when I'm on a plane. And I text my friend about this because it happens to him too. So often they go over the PA system and ask if there's a doctor on board because someone will be having a medical emergency. And I think that happens on planes way more than we think. Because that actually happened the same day as the Oscars.

I flew in that morning, we landed and then they were like, everyone you have to stay on board, please stay in your seats We have an ambulance coming on like an M like yeah, the EMTs are coming on board and have to escort someone out That's my like biggest fear because I I'm an occupational therapist as well Like that's what I went to school for she does it all so I like have my like basic CPR stuff like Basic training essentially like I can stop a bleed, I can do CPR, but like I'm not qualified in that situation whatsoever. Oh, right. And there was one time where they were announcing that

for 10 minutes to the point where like, I might be the only person on this plane that knows CPR. They just kept announcing. It's me. I was like, I was literally, I'm like, no. No, I would be terrified. I'd be terrified. I'd be terrified. I had to get certified in CPR for group fitness training

and they taught us staying alive. Yep. That's the right beat. So the theme I have for you today, oh, the ridiculousness of it all. It's just a bunch of stories that are so over the top, ridiculous, a lot of which I haven't read. I had some help preparing this theme.

Okay, so it's new for both of us. Yeah, I wanted to be able to go in blind and like based on some of the titles alone, we're gonna be in for some treats. Okay, great. Are you ready? I'm ready. Let's dive in. You've delivered a lot of coffee.

I have. Yeah. Stories with those coffee bits, some of which have spread wider than I've needed them to. They've circulated already. But for the most part, it's always a good time. Okay. Well, this person has a very peculiar way that they like their coffee. This is coming from Am I the Asshole?

It's 26 days old, titled, Am I the asshole for not drinking the coffee that my boyfriend has made for me? I, 24 female, have been with my boyfriend, 25 male, for three and a half years. He knows I'm a bit specific about certain things, like tidying up or how I like to cook certain dishes and not to annoy him with those. I always make sure that I make them for myself. Now, my morning coffee is very specific.

I like two teaspoons of instant coffee with two teaspoons of hazelnut syrup filled to the half cup with boiling water and the rest filled with oat milk. That is specific. And I like that in my specific morning coffee mug. I do realize that I sound very annoying, but because I am aware of it, I always make it myself and would never ask for someone to make my coffee exactly like that. When my colleagues are making me a coffee, I take whatever they make me and I say thank you very much.

For three and a half years, my boyfriend has seen me make my morning coffee this way and got fed up with me refusing that he makes coffee for me. So I have shown him several times exactly how I like it. But still, every time he makes it for me, it's not the right dose of coffee or hazelnut syrup or it isn't in the right cup. I can get over that one to be fair. And I swear I do not want to be that annoying, but the coffee just doesn't taste how I am craving for it to taste. It's like my body isn't satisfied with it, and I keep craving coffee until I get it, but I don't want to have two coffees in the morning. I have told my boyfriend that I

appreciate his gesture, but to let me make my coffee in the morning. This morning, he got annoyed when he asked me if I wanted coffee in bed, and I said, no, I'll make it. He said, quote, I know you're going to get up and make one, but just trust me. So I trusted him, and he made me a machine espresso coffee with a bit of syrup and some milk. I said, thanks, but I don't want to drink machine espresso in the morning. Never have I ever drink machine coffee in front of him. I don't like it. And I only ever buy capsules for him because I'm able to remember how he likes his coffee. He got really angry at me. Told me he is just trying to be nice and I'm being an asshole about it. I very much disagree. It has been three and a half freaking years and I've shown him at least ten times how I like my coffee.

Once again I never asked him to do 10 times how I like my coffee. Once again, I never asked him to do this for me. I do not feel grateful for the gesture at all either. But am I being a spoiled asshole here? You're not. No, you are not the asshole. Woo! No, I think she knows.

She knows how specific she's being. She knows it's a lot, and that's why she makes it for herself. Exactly. I think, if anything, the boyfriend... It's very clear his love language is acts of service. He really wants to give some acts of service to his lovely girl. But there are other acts of service he can probably accomplish and get done. And she knows that this is one way she likes to be very specific.

And I'm a similar way. I'm very specific about my coffee. And I think part of what she loves about it is making it. That's what it seems like. It's not even the exact flavoring of everything. I bet if the boyfriend got it exactly right, it still wouldn't hit the same as if she made it herself. Because it's part of this like little accomplishment, it sounds like't hit the same as if she made it herself, because it's part of this, like, little accomplishment, it sounds like, she has for herself.

And it also sounds like she's explained that. Very clearly. To the point where you start wondering, why is he still pushing it after three and a half years? And why is this almost a fight, even? It is turning into a fight. Because clearly there's something more there. I wonder if it's just like a control thing where it's just like some weird, there's like

more of a psychological thing behind this. Yeah. There are just other ways to like kind of scratch his itch of needing to help her. There are other things that can be done. Do the dishes. Do the dishes. Thank you. Do the dishes. Do the dishes. Thank you. Like, yeah.

And I can understand once again maybe his need or his want to be able to do something like that. And that is showing that he's good. But if she is adamant in saying like, this is not the act of service I need from you, then have the conversation. Listen in that way, perhaps. You must be a really good communicator in relationships. Oh!

This is just like the way you're breaking this down or like therapy. Like I feel like I'm just like, I feel like I just picked up so much just now. I do feel like I've gotten better at communicating. It's always easier to communicate. Easier said than done. In a third, as a third party than when you're in the actual like thick of it all. But I would like to think, I feel like sometimes when people offer to, so one of my things in the morning, I love walking and getting my coffee and I, or if I'm not doing that,

I just need to have coffee before I've interacted with someone. And so a lot of the time, if I do see someone or if I go to a work event or if I'm like showing up somewhere and someone offers to get me coffee, I'll have already gotten it. And I'm like, no. And because I have the really like, I need the method of having it beforehand.

Yeah. So I understand where she's coming from. Yeah, you just have to like communicate it in a nice way, but it sounds like he's not being receptive to her communication. No, she's really trying. Sounds like she has. So I'm, I heart, my heart goes out to her. Just keep making your coffee girl. Just keep going for it.

Stand in, stand in your power. There you go. You were on the money overall vote on this one. Not the asshole. Perf. Top comment. not the asshole. This is getting to a weird level, in my opinion. Like you said, it seems like he's trying to prove some point. Getting angry at you over it? It's an unreasonable response.

It seems like a tantrum of someone who doesn't feel in control or something. And next comment down, agree. It sounds like manipulative at this point. Yeah, I would love to like, I would love to hear if they have other conversations in this similar vein. Like, is this happening a lot where she just wants to do something for herself and he must do it? Or is this coffee specific? And I would be surprised if it's coffee specific. I feel like it probably extends outward of that.

I'm so curious. I'm looking at OP, coffee specific. I feel like it probably extends outward of that. I'm so curious. I'm looking at OP, the original posters, other comments, and people do kind of ask, like, like, does he do this in other areas? No, not really. Do you drink the coffee your colleagues make you? No. Like, just take it.

Mitch, maybe that's a technique with the boyfriend. But then again, you shouldn't have to appease your partner when it's so simple. I'll just make my own coffee. Yeah, yeah. If my second thought would be like, if it truly is just about doing an act of service and wanting to do something for her, then anger wouldn't follow. Being told no, it would just be like, oh, I'll figure out something else.

But to be angry about it signifies that there's something else there. It's deeper. We're gonna have to look for an update from this one. We definitely will. We broke up over coffee. I know it's, I don't want to say that's where I wouldn't be surprised, but it's something is afoot and we have to find out what it is. We need answers. Okay. This next one, I really need answers on. Okay.

Haven't read it past the title, but I'm really excited. Okay, so it's titled, Am I the Asshole for Having Our Wedding in a Cave? Which Means My Sister Can't Come. Oh my God. My fiance and I... I know. So many things immediately.

Immediately. Okay. My fiance and I came here for more opinions. We are getting married this year and our venue is in a cave system. We are both active explorers and this is our dream venue. How it works is you will get married in the opening of the cave, then go down a set of stairs that bring you to a big open area in the cave. You then have the option to just stay in the area or do a cave tour. It is extremely cool and guests can't get into areas they are not supposed to due to

gates that basically will sound an alarm if you get near them. Also they only allow a total of 15 guests, so a small wedding. Very small. Overall, it is a very unique situation, and we really want to do this. We understand that when inviting people, if they are not comfortable, they will not attend. It is a unique experience,

and I'm not pressuring anyone to go. Everyone we have invited seem to be cool about it. My mother is super excited. I invited my sister, and she told me she can't do it, that her claustrophobia would make it impossible. I told her that is okay and if she wants to see it, we can record it or zoom the wedding. I don't want her uncomfortable.

This is where the argument started. She is pissed we would do a wedding that she can't attend. She called me a huge jerk that I won't change the wedding. I told her that this is our dream wedding and we are not changing it. I'm getting messages from people not invited that I am also a huge jerk. Am I the asshole? Whoa. You know, I was on one side at the start of the story, but by the end, I believe I've

switched. Really? Okay. Yeah, like I was kind of... Not really that I was on the side of the sister, but I understood initially as she was talking about the caves, like I experienced claustrophobia as well. That would not be fun. But also, it is their wedding. It's their wedding, and it's the sister's prerogative to not go.

And as she said, as she said, as the bride said, we're not pressuring anyone to go. No. And which I think is good. Like, here's the thing. I can understand where the sister is coming from that she can't do it. But I also, but then I can't understand going to the point

of then being mad at your sister and being like, why the fuck aren't you changing your wedding for me? That's goofy. It's not. It's because that's not... It is a bit of a strange wedding. It's a bit of a strange concept. Why are we doing a cave wedding? Are there going to be lights there? And do we have to crawl to get there?

Are you crawling in your wedding dress? I'm so curious. I'm like looking at pictures now and there's a bunch of variations. There's like, apparently it's kind of a popular thing. This one is like deep in a cave. That's stunning. A lot of candles, string lights.

I would be so, here's the thing. I, as a guest may say no, depending on how close this person is to me, because that is a little terrifying. That's beautiful. But I'm not envisioning that the cave is open like that. I'm envisioning that it's like, you're getting through a crawl space

and going to a tiny opening with 15 people. So I might say no as a guest, but I wouldn't then go as far to be like, and you're an asshole for this. It's just one I can't go to. It's just one you can't go to. And she offered to film it. Listen, we don't know the extent of this woman's claustrophobia. It could be to the point of being very debilitating.

But at the same time, you just have to know that, okay, but if this is something that you really want to do, I want you to have the wedding that you love. That's what I think the sisters energy could have been to say, I want you to have the wedding that you love, but I'm so sorry. And I'm so sad that I won't be able to attend. I wish you would maybe do something that I could,

but I know this is your dream. So because it's your dream, but again, it's the easier said than done thing. It's like when, when people are breaking up in a relationship and they're just like, you should just want me to be happy no matter what. That's an easier said than done thing. Cause a lot of people want to feel good themselves as well.

So I don't know, heart goes out to the sister, but also I understand where the bride is coming from while also not understanding why she would want to do that as a wedding. My wedding will not be in a cave. Mine will not be in a cave. I'm very impressed. She was able to get her guest list down to 15 people. That is also crazy. Like I can't imagine we have so many people that listen that wrote in or like would talk about having a COVID wedding. And I remember a lot of the places, like you could only have like 10 people tops, 20 people tops.

Which is like just family. Family. And maybe, and like a little bit of extended family. Maybe one friend. Yeah. Like that is so hard. It's impossible. I will say like, I do kind of want to go to one now.

I like want to be invited to a cave wedding. So if any listeners out there are planning for a cave wedding, please let me know. I will fly. It has... I'm available. Yeah. Yeah. For me, it has to be one of those open caves. Open. That you showed me.

Where you can see the sky. If I have to go through a crawl space, I have seen one too many stories on TikTok of people dying in a crawl space. Okay. Here's my thing. Like I'm trying to relate to claustrophobia. Like I feel like I have a little bit of it sometimes, but not like severe.

So I'm trying to understand it. Her cave wedding, the way that's described, I wouldn't experience intense claustrophobia, but what I like, when I hear these cave stories of people going into a crawl space, there's like one horrible one. Oh my God, I just saw it on Twitter. It came back up recently. Yeah, of a man like he thought he was going down the right way that was supposed to open up. And he like, he was at like, his head is here and his legs are here. So he was on a 90 degree angle and there was no opening on the other side and he couldn't back up. And he spent like 24 hours in that position

as people were trying to getting, and he didn't get out. I believe his name was like John. So, so horrible. And when I hear that story or when I read about that story, that is when I experience like the worst feeling of claustro... Like I start, if I put myself in that position, that just must've been so unbelievably horrifying. No, yeah, his name was John Jones.

It was the Nutty Putty Cave accident. Yeah, it's, yes, I remember it had like a kind of goofy name and I'm just like, oh my God. And that just makes me... I don't think I would wanna go cave diving in general, but those scenarios really deter me from something like that. And I can imagine if the sister had recently heard

that story, she's like cave wedding, absolutely not. I'm out. I mean, there's so much that can go wrong. Like it could even collapse. Like granted, it's likely safe, but never say never. Like one little earthquake and that thing could be on top of you. You never know. They're probably, at the same time, they're probably very experienced cave explorers listening

to this who are like, these people are idiots. I catastrophize everything though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's common, you know. There are people who have fear of flying and I could probably tell them like, it's safer than driving a car, but you're gonna be scared of it no matter what. You know?

Yeah. Yeah, no, cave crawling, that's not on my radar at all. Not on my bucket list. So overall vote was actually no assholes here. Just no, nothing. Yeah, like I guess I can see both sides. I think that's kind of what you said. Honestly, you're two for two so far.

Oh my God. We're off to a good start. I try to be good at maybe analyzing what a public reception of something would be, but I don't think I'm successful in that most of the time. I would agree. I'm not there yet myself. Yeah. Even though you try to be safe sometimes. Yes.

The top comment, did you know your sister is claustrophobic? You're going to get a ton of people agreeing with you. I don't think they are wrong to do so. It's your wedding and your day, and you should do what's best for you and your partner and your marriage. That being said, I personally would value celebrating with my family over any venue.

I would rather change date and venue to have specific people by my side. I can't say you're an asshole for feeling differently. All that matters is you having the day you want while accepting any relationship consequences that come along with that. I can understand that response. Perhaps a conversation before even confirming the venue

and talking, if she knew her sister was claustrophobic going to her and saying like, hey, this is what we're thinking. Is this an absolute no for you? Because I would love to have you there. And then when the sister does give the absolute no, then you're able to really consider, okay, what is mattering more to me here? And then and then in that case, if maybe you're picking the venue, it gets a little tough relationship wise, but we also don't know her relationship with her sister. Family is number one for so many people,

but for other people it's not. I have my own weird family dynamic, so I can maybe understand being like, some people who are very close to their family, being like, family is number one, and like I would never pick something that my family wouldn't be at. Maybe her sister and her aren't like the closest people

in the world. And we don't know that. And like budget is a thing too, because in my head I was like, why don't you do your private ceremony, just you two at the cave, because it's so special. And then do something else where you can have

more than 15 people, your sister, you know, whatever. Yeah. But then like budget comes into consideration. Right. It's just like this whole thing. And the next comment after that one, which was the top, and they do say no assholes here. You're allowed to do whatever you like. But the next one down goes, nope, a wedding is for the couple, not the family.

Which is also valid. I think it just depends on you and your culture. That's yeah. And this is like the issue of the Internet too, sometimes is like, there's no great everything is opinion based and so much is subjective. So it's, I think the Internet frequently tries to find out who is right and who is wrong and loves to pick a side. Even if someone tells us don't pick sides, the internet will do their best at picking a side. And everything is subjective at the end of the day.

We're all just talking about so many opinions, but it's an echo chamber of that as well. So I can- It's literally what I do every week. Right, right. But like it's just, it's, and that's the beauty of it too, is that it's, everything is subjective. It's like, it's the good of it too, is that it's everything is subjective.

It's like, it's the good part and the bad part. So I agree with that comment. Like the wedding is for the couple and the sister's anger isn't valid. It is valid. So it's both. Yeah. If you're out there listening, I would love to see pictures of your cave wedding. Please.

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Quince.com slash THT. This one is three hours old. That's new. Juicy, juicy. That happened this morning. This morning. It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Posing for My Friend's Photography Class Without Letting My Girlfriend Know. My friend is a visual art major and took a photography elective last semester. Near the end of the semester, she was doing a study of the human form and needed to build a portfolio and wanted some models.

I'm pretty proud and confident in my body so I agreed to do so. This is not something I let my girlfriend know as it's pretty innocent and pointless to me. As far as I knew the pictures would only go to the professor. The pictures were supposed to be in nature so we went to the hiking trail near our school, my friend took the photos and I saw all of the professor. The pictures were supposed to be in nature, so we went to the hiking trail near our school, my friend took the photos, and I saw all of the photos. None of them were what I would call provocative. Most excluded showing anything explicit, and the ones that were explicit, my friend said, she wouldn't submit if I was uncomfortable. However, I told her I didn't care and she could do whatever

she wanted with them. Now, mind you, this was last semester, so I pretty much forgot about them. That was until I go to the library and see some of the less revealing photos in the rotating art exhibit. My face wasn't in the pictures, but I have a pretty unique tattoo on my upper thigh, mid pelvis, that was visible. I thought nothing of it. But yesterday, my girlfriend's friend saw the art exhibit and told her that she thought it was me. My girlfriend confronted me and I told her it was.

She was livid. She said I shouldn't be showing off my body like that when I have a girlfriend, and that it was fucked up to keep a secret from her. I told her I didn't think it was a secret, as I thought it was just nothing. I was being a good friend, and didn't even know about the art exhibit. She said that if another woman is photographing me naked, of course I should have told her. I told her that I was posing for art and that she's reducing the artistic process to something that it

isn't. She's a mathematics major and is STEM brained, so she frequently doesn't get these things. She said that I needed to go get the photos taken down. I said it wasn't up to me, as I gave full control to my friend, and it's not like it's recognizable to anyone except people who know about the tattoo. She's still pissed though. Am I the asshole? Oh, once again, this is a nuanced story. First and foremost, you should have just told her. You should have told her. Off the gate, you should have just told her.

And perhaps even, though I don't believe you have to ask for permission, but for respect, like the sake of being respectful towards her, asking and just saying like, hey, I'm taking these photos with a friend and this is what they're going to be. I understand. Like, it's just an artistic process. Especially considering later down the line, he is, he's so, uh, he stands by so strongly the artistic process.

So he can lead with that and kind of talk about it's just this. I, I promise it's nothing else that that should have been a conversation beforehand. Can you say what the, what, what the girlfriend initially responded again? Uh, initially, yeah, that initial response, I was like, ooh, I shouldn't be showing off my body like that. And so that, that, but that's not the correct... No. That's not, in my opinion, because it's all opinion, that's perhaps not the correct way to come at it. Don't slut shame your boyfriend.

Like that's, it's, that's, it is at the end of the day. But when she does come around and say, you should have asked first. I think that should have been the whole conversation. I wish you would have asked me because I do feel a little uncomfortable that you had taken these with another woman. Not that, and maybe not that you took them though.

It does seem like she was uncomfortable with the fact that she even, he even took them. But I do feel uncomfortable not that you took them, though it does seem like she was uncomfortable with the fact that he even took them. But I do feel uncomfortable that maybe you took these with someone that it could have, that person could have come between us. Even if it was completely respectful, I think the conversation should have been had in the first place.

Yes, out of respect. That's your partner. Because it's like, it's not that he was lying, but it's a bit of a lie of omission. It's kind of like, I didn't say it because I didn't think it was a big deal, but it's not his place to really decide whether it would have been a big deal to her or not. So you might as well have the conversation in the first place. I honestly feel like lying by omission is worse to me.

Like, I not being told something and not having that, like, transparency, it feels so much worse because then it's like, you didn't even give me the choice. Like, you didn't respect me enough to even tell me, so you just didn't tell me. And I would not be surprised if the boyfriend at least had one passing thought, thinking like, should I mention this? And once he has that thought, the answer should be yes. Yeah. If it were fully out of his head, then I would be like, okay, how unself aware or how unaware of who he's dating

is this person? Because if he knows his girlfriend, he probably knows that probably should have been a conversation. Yeah, I will say like, I feel like overall, I feel like he's the asshole for not telling her. Because it's one thing where it's like, I don't even know if you need to get permission for something like that, but like you should at least like be open and tell her. Because it's one thing where it's like, I don't even know if you need to get permission for something like that, but like, you should at least like be open and tell her. But like, again, it's your body. Like if you really want to do it and she says no, or that she's uncomfortable, that's your choice. But then you might have relationship consequences, which is a breakup or, you know, whatever. But I will say like, I think it would have been better if he would have just told her upfront,

because then she would have maybe had the option to go. Right, right. Like, then you can see there's nothing bad going on. He would have given her also the opportunity to support him throughout it. And even if she didn't need to be there, but to be supportive of when the photos hit the gallery, supportive of when they were out. And again, they don't show his face. So yes, some people will know him based on the tattoo, but it is that the one,

the one little question mark I have from her was when she said you shouldn't be showing your body off in that way. Yeah. Um, and perhaps that's a personal anecdote because I remember there was, I was dating a guy who also was cheating on me nonstop and I posted a thirst trap. I knew he was cheating on me, by the way. I posted a thirst trap. It wasn't really, I wasn't trying to, well, sure.

Let me be honest with myself. I posted a thirst trap. You had intentions. And he told me, he was like, I would love for you to take that down. Like you shouldn't be posting that when like you have a boyfriend. And in the back of my head, I'm like,

and I would love for you to stop cheating on me. You fucking idiot. Sorry, can I say that? You can say whatever you want. No, I didn't say that. I think I ended up taking it down. I was young at the time. I was like, okay, fine, I'll take it down.

But I always get a bit of the ick when, even when people in relationships get a little controlling in that way, because I think it's like people should still feel free to share themselves artistically. Yeah. What even if that artistic nature is doing something that's a little raunchy. A little risque. Yeah. Like, and again, the conversation should have been had,

but for her first point to be you shouldn't be showing your body off in that way, that's my one question mark from her. Other than that, I think she's valid for her confusion over all of this. I would be really, really pissed off just going to a library and seeing pictures of my boyfriend and fiance. And knowing they were taken

with another girl while you were in that relationship. Yeah. Then I would be confused. And I'd be curious about the context too. Like if there's anything left out where like this friend of his has been like flirty in the past. Like was this kind of a ploy or like something like that? Also like when you're in a relationship, like I don't know, in my experience, we're talking pretty often like I'll know what you're in a relationship, like, I don't know, in my experience, we're talking pretty often,

like, I'll know what you did that day. Yeah. So if he did that that day and just happened to leave it out, that's another... It like, did she happen to ask, how was your day at the end of the day? And he just said, yeah, nothing really happened. Then that's another lie of a mission that's getting a little deeper and deeper. So I think there are some holes in the story as well. I'm so curious.

We do have some comments from our writer here. Someone goes, you're the asshole. You should have told her. Would you want her naked with some guy in the woods taking pictures and then you find them? Also, if it wasn't a big deal, why didn't you just tell her in the first place? And OP goes, I would not care if it was for artistic purposes. And now he's just sticking by his guns. I don't believe him.

I don't believe him. And again, the internet, it's all subjective. So I'm so sorry to this man if that statement gets him angry. But I think it's like he's backpedalingaling a little bit is the sense that I get. It's really interesting. And someone does ask to kind of clarify, like what do these pictures entail? The photo shoot wasn't sexual,

but some of the pictures were explicit, question mark. And OP responds, explicit as in my flaccid penis shriveled up by 50 degree weather was in like three of them. So arousing, right? Nudity isn't always sexual. And now I sense some defensiveness coming from his side. Why did we need that description of your flaccid penis? It's just how I like it.

Can you imagine going hiking on this trail? You're just trying to mind your business and you're hiking and you see this guy posing. It just shriveled up flaccid. Like I get a lot of those intimacy coordinator videos and I love their little like stickers that they put over like genitals when people are filming. I'm like, he should have had one of those. Right. Or a nutcup or something.

It's a bit confusing, especially, I don't know what he... I think he thought the comment section was going to go in a different direction. And he's getting a little defensive, which is always a bit of a giveaway. If someone is kind of realizing that they maybe did something wrong. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, his username is creatine goblin. Oh, now I'm getting a sense of who this is. He wanted any excuse to show off his bod. Yeah. I wouldn't be surprised if like later in the comments, he's like sharing the photos.

He's like, well, this is what they looked like if you even wanna see, you know? It does look like overall vote on this one is gonna be you're the asshole. Top comment, you're the asshole. It seems to me like you purposefully didn't tell her because you wanted to avoid her possibly getting upset. And then you convinced yourself it's fine since it isn't sexual and she wouldn't find out.

OP responds, but it's not sexual. And that's probably true. And that's probably true. But the commenter's perspective is also true. Also, I don't know. If you're asking this question online, maybe you also know the answer. Not that the other two posts we've read, because they weren't really the asshole, it seemed like they didn't know the answer. It seems like he almost is asking like, am I the asshole? I just need some validation that I'm not here.

And now he's like, oh, okay. Shouldn't have posted. I will agree. Like nudity is not inherently sexual. I think it's just about respecting your relationship and being open and honest. And again, it's his body, his choice. If you would have told her and she said no,

you still can do it. That is your choice, your prerogative, but you should be open if you're in a partnership, in a relationship with another person. And that's the thing, if he didn't think it was a big deal, it should have been easy to mention to her then. Easy, easy combo. Easy.

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Short and sweet, coming from AITAH, posted eight days ago. It is titled, am I the asshole for leaving a date early because she didn't tell me she was pregnant? Oh. Well, I need to know more. Ha ha ha. For context, we had been talking for about two weeks. Oh, well, I need to know more. For context, we had been talking for about two weeks.

We met for dinner and when she showed up, she was about six months pregnant. I asked and she said she didn't think it was worth mentioning. I said I wasn't interested in having kids or raising someone else's child. I paid for my drink and then I left. Edit to answer a few questions I'm seeing. My profile said I don't want kids. Hers said open to kids, but didn't say anything about having a kid

slash being pregnant. Both of our dating intentions was set to long-term. This happened on Sunday, but I got a text from her on Monday that said I had been really rude by leaving early. So I thought I would get others' opinions. Oh Queen. She should have told them.

Oh my God. Especially with the... These are dating apps that have preferences on it. He says not wanting kids. Yeah. It's too late. Oh my God. And there's no hiding it, girl.

There's no hiding it. Like, she knew she was going to show up and does she think a first date he's going to look at her and change his mind? Not on a first date. I am blown away by like the confidence, the audacity. I don't even know, the delusion maybe? To show up six months pregnant not telling someone. That's bold. It's a bold move.

And here's the thing. She is, listen, she deserves love. She deserves a partner who is going to help raise that child, but take some context clues before you go on the date and see, oh, this guy doesn't want kids. Maybe I'm not going to be the one for him. You can't blind somebody like that. And also, I actually really, I think he did the right move by leaving.

I think that's actually the most respect he could have for her. I think he's saying, I respect both of our time too much to waste it here on a date that this is clearly not gonna work out. Obviously, she's not really given a choice to continue on the date, but it would be so much better than having a full date and then maybe expecting something else to come from it and then hearing, like he's cutting it off as soon as he knows it's not right.

Yeah. And I think, and a lot of people don't do that. No, and I think he's so entitled to doing that because your whole relationship, like, then is started on a lie. Like, there's no honesty. How do you trust this person going forward if they didn't share such a key detail about themselves before your first date?

Key detail. A big one. A big one. One that's impossible, in fact, to ignore, perhaps. Well, and if you continue this relationship, like, three months from now, your dynamic totally changes. Only three. And you're in a relationship for three months, and now you're kind of co-parenting. Maybe you're not expected to, but like... It's a different dynamic, for sure.

The woman has a newborn. Yeah. Where do you go from there? I'm just mystified by this one. That's a really tough one. And also it's a first date. A very first date. He really does not...

No one on a first date owes anyone anything. Nothing. There's no investment at that point. There's no investment. A couple texts. Maybe a combination of like an hour of your time. Right. But like if you get upset and like hold a grudge against someone over a first date, text, maybe a combination of like an hour of your time. Right.

But like if you get upset and like hold a grudge against someone over a first date, like no, no, no. Like don't or don't invest that much. If you do or if you are one of those people that gets like, oh, I can't believe that first date. I wasted so much time. Like don't invest so much that set it up and then let everything happen organically on the first date.

Right. And I just, I would love to have known her thought process. Oh my gosh. Being like, he won't mind. I'm so curious. Some people said you're the asshole to them. Okay. Why? Someone goes, sorry guy, but you're the asshole in this matter.

You knew you are not interested in having kids, yet you engaged in unprotected sex and came up with the results you have? Wait. What? This person's an idiot. This just goes to show how dumb people are online. Does this person think he is the father? Yeah, because OP goes, we started talking three weeks ago and met on Sunday.

I didn't have sex with her at any point. Oh, okay. Okay. So yeah, this commenter just did not read. Reading retention or comprehension. That's also another, that is another theme on social media of people drawing conclusions without taking in all of their information. That was, that was crazy.

That person needs to learn how to read. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of not the assholes. Okay. Great. Great. Were there any other valid, you are the asshole? Not that I'm seeing. Okay. Okay. I think luckily people are mostly sane on this one. Top comment, not worth mentioning. Yeah. Hell no to that one. Not the asshole and run. I mean, a child, a child that is so much commitment. That's so much commitment. Kids really scare me.

Yeah. It's because it's not people say, yeah, you're committed for 18 years of your life. It's life. No, you're not. It's forever. I'm 26 and I talked to like, I, my parents better still be committed to me, you know? Yeah. So my mom was giving me an allowance up until like two years ago. I'm turning 30.

Yeah, come on. I didn't have a job. Sure. Sure. But it was still an allowance essentially. Like it wasn't, I wasn't working for it. So that, that baby signifies more than just like, I'm pregnant. It's like, and if we were to be in a relationship, this is a commitment.

Yeah. Please tell people if you're pregnant before a date. And I've seen success stories from it. I've seen other Reddit stories where it was like, I broke up with my ex. It wasn't good, I thought co-parenting would be better. I met my now fiance at a coffee shop or at a gym or something. He's helping me raise my baby. Right, right. Like maybe she just, if she were to go on a date with someone who's like really ready for kids, it could be the best case scenario for them. Yeah. I think he needs to also only go out with people that say they also don't want kids. Because matching with someone that's open to kids, open to kids is like, yes kids, in my head.

It's like, you're either child free or like open to kids. It's like, there's a decent chance. Yeah, yeah. And as someone who, I mean, my mind could be changed at some point, but as someone who also doesn't think he wants kids, it would be like anytime I've gone on a date with someone who's like, I definitely want kids, it raises a little bit of a flag in my head of being like,

well, I don't know if this can have really long lasting time. Because that's again, it's just such a big decision. Kids is crazy. So crazy. I like don't know where I stand on it still. I go back and forth every day. Right. And like a bunch of my friends have kids, and so I'm able to like watch them have children,

and that's lovely, and I can be Uncle Chris whenever I want. The fun uncle. Pop in, and then I can hand them over when they're crying, or they shit themselves, which they do often. I did work in childcare for two years though. Did you? Yeah, at the gym Equinox where I was training to be a group fitness trainer,

I had to get a job there first and their only opening was in the kids club. So people would drop off their kids there for two hours, go work out. And sometimes I would have like 14 kids from ages three months old to 13. Were you the only one working? Occasionally, yeah.

On the weekends we had two people, but during the weeks it was only one. And sometimes it was absolute chaos. There was this one girl who was three. Her mom brought her in. I had known her for a while. She was a lovely little girl. Her mom brings her in one day and is like, hey, we're starting potty training, so just give me a call if anything happens.

Then like 20 minutes, little Charlotte has pulled down her pants and shit on the floor. Whoa! I am frantically calling the mom and I'm like, hey, queen, Charlotte just shit on the floor, please come here. But of course she's in a group fitness class, so she's not answering her phone.

So I am strapping on gloves and taking an entire roll of Clorox wipes, trying to clean this off. But let me tell you something about shit on the floor. The smell will not go away, even if the shit does. And so I was desperately cleaning while I also have like a six-year-old, a three-month-old, a two-year-old running around trying, like doing their own thing. And I'm desperately trying to clean this up. A mom brings in her kid during all this and she's like,

oh, did someone have an accident? And I'm like, yeah, someone did. She's like, oh, well, here's Ryan. And then just like hands the child over to me and I'm like still trying to clean. I'm like, thank you. That, that me and I'm like still trying to clean. I'm like, thank you. That, that, and I worked that job for two years. Um, and after two years of that, I think that solidified even more that I was like, well, maybe not cut out for this.

Granted, the children did love me. I had a really good time, like spending time with the kids, but as, as the fun one, as the uncle, once the real literal shit happened, then I was like, no more. And that was only the tip of the iceberg. The amount of times kids peed on me was just like countless at this point. But it really, it made me humble. It really gave me some good grounding because I'll never forget that time in my life. But yeah, children are a commitment. I'm just stunned. I can't believe they would leave you that outnumbered.

It seems like a workplace hazard. Like, HR violation or something. Low-key, God, not to expose kids clubs all around the world, but low key is like, I'm pretty sure there is a limit to how many kids we're supposed to be taking control of. Because we're not like certified child care people. They, we didn't, we weren't supposed to have to change their diapers or feed them, because there are certain things that it's like, you have to be, especially with the three month old.

And let me tell you, freshly three months, those moms were bringing their kids in. And I get it. I get it. You want some time to yourself. But I'm like, I was like a 19 year old. I'd be scared it would die on me. It was a lot. And you're just consistently like cleaning up and trying to stay sane. And let me tell you, some six-year-olds are mean. A six-year-old told me to kill myself once. And I was just like, okay, queen.

She was asking me... Where did she learn that? I know, this is kindergarten. She asked me, she said, do you have a girlfriend? I thought, it's time to have a little teaching moment. She said, do you have a girlfriend? I thought, it's time to have a little teaching moment. She said, do you have a girlfriend? I said, no, I don't date girls. Um, I, I'm single right now, but I would have a boyfriend if I had one because I date boys.

She stopped. She looks at me. Oh no. She said, you know, if I were you, I think I would kill myself. I hate crime. And she said, you know, if I were you, I think I would kill myself. A hate crime! And I was like, well, uh, mm-hmm. She was like, she was like, yeah, I think I would jump out the window. She doubled down!

What a little bitch! And I think I was just like, okay. I don't think I tried to continue the teaching moment from that on. I think I just was like, okay. I don't think I tried to continue the teaching moment from that on. I think I just was like, uh-huh. And then I like turned around. But I know that was a tough one. Her name is Phillipa. I'll never forget.

She scarred you. That was a moment. But those moments happen often. And then every time she came in, I was a little scared of her. She sounds possessed. Like a little bit. I wonder where she is now. Because what? That was like six years ago. So she's got to be 12.

Dangerous 12-year-old. Philippa, I hope you care about gay rights now, right? We are human. We deserve to live, okay? Ally! Ally, Yes. Oh! That's why I'm teaching Meghan Trainor's kids young to say gay rights to say ally, because once I was told to kill myself by a six-year-old.

It's changed your whole trajectory. Really stuck with you. It really did. I'll never forget that. Holy shit. And I'll never work in childcare again. Everything happens for a reason. Everything happens for a reason.

Yeah. Oh my gosh. Well, are you importing food or beverages into Canada? You need a food safety license. Apply now at inspection.canada.ca slash food rules. A message from the government of Canada. Speaking of using the bathroom, going to the bathroom, I got one for you. Oh, thank God.

I'm with the asshole for wanting my partner to use the bathroom. This is the stupidest debate we have ever had by far. My partner went out our front door to smoke a cigarette a couple evenings ago and requested I come outside as well. Our home, which we rent, is half of a double shotgun that sits maybe 10 feet or just over 3 meters to our neighbor on one side. And our porch is less than 50 feet or 15 meters from the neighbor across the street. So I think they're describing like a really tight knit little neighborhood. Almost a townhouse.

It feels brown stony townhouse together vibes. He proceeds to go around the corner of our house and pee outside, right within the gate that is right up to our neighbor's house and right behind our front porch. Within a six feet privacy fence, so no visibility to anyone, but it was still quite obvious what he was doing. It was maybe 7pm, so dark outside but not late. The gate was shut, private yard, no one was going to walk in. I don't care, it still is unnecessary. My opinion is that it's kind of gross. The bathroom is inside, maybe 15 feet away. There's no plumbing issues. We aren't having issues with our water bill.

It's clean. That's where adults go when they have to pee. I find it embarrassing if anyone were to hear or see that an adult man chose to urinate in the side yard, private or not, rather than go to the bathroom. He says men just do that. It's normal. Why go inside if you can just pee right there? No one can see anything. He says I'm being ridiculous.

Okay, if you're drunk and it's 2 a.m. and you're taking the dogs out and it's a fenced backyard, I have no issues with it. Still seems silly when indoor plumbing exists, but whatever. Sometimes it's nice to not blind yourself by the bathroom lights in the middle of the night. But to just make a habit out of urinating outside is a bridge too far for me. We live in a major city with close neighbors, and while water issues are not uncommon, we don't have any. This is the stupidest, most petty debate.

He says it's normal. I say it's fucking weird and gross. Hey, maybe we're both right. But am I the asshole? No, no, I don't think so either. Go pee inside. Like, I don't know, that was it. That was an issue I had when I was a child. Like I would just like I would just pee where I was. Yeah. One time I peed in my mom's closet. Oh, I peed behind a couch once. Yeah, sometimes you just don't want to make it to the bathroom. Why do we do that?

I like as a child, like we don't have to have the answer. As an adult, I think it's like, just go to the bathroom. Especially if you're just on your front porch. It almost feels like you're maybe walking the same distance down to this little alleyway. I would agree. As you would to just go inside and go to the bathroom. Maybe it's like a straight man thing where it's just like, I want to pee wherever. I could see that. The macho outdoorsy.

Right, right. It's like I'm marking my territory. This is your home. It's already your home. You don't have to mark any more territory. Go inside and pee. Oh my God. Maybe. I don't know. Yeah. I don't think she's the asshole. Yes, it's a little like, from his perspective, I can understand who cares at the end of the day, but just go inside.

If it's something that maybe means something to your wife and doesn't mean that much to you, go inside. Yeah, well, and it's like, you might have a privacy fence, but if your neighbor has two levels, all they have to do is look out their window and like get a top view and see you peeing. Yeah, I would just say, yeah, just, it seems like you're almost taking more effort

to make this happen. I would say so. It's also, I don't know, I feel like guys, like you have a luxury of like being able to pee wherever, but like, I just would not want to. I've had to pee outside in my like horse barn in Minnesota because I just, I waited too long. It was either pee where the horses pee

or your pee in your pants. Right, right. And it's just so uncomfortable. It's not fun to pee outside for gals. Sure, like, listen, I guess that's where me understanding him can come into play. Like, yeah, it is relatively easy for people with a penis to pee outside. Doesn't mean you have to. Doesn't mean you must. I am envious though. I would like to just... Just once. There's certain things...

You can just pee anywhere. Just have to pee standing up and it's like, it's so low effort. I want to order that attachment. It was like marketed to hiking girlies to be able to pee on the go. I think it's like literally P-Go or WeGo or something weird. Try it out. Report back to the podcast. Okay.

Yeah. We'll see about that. Overall vote, not the asshole. Urinating outside your home is definitely not normal grown up behavior. And next comment down goes, that depends a lot on where one lives and their circumstances. I've lived in multiple rural areas with only one bathroom. Sometimes it's a lot easier to go outside than waiting.

Okay, okay, but it doesn't sound like that's what she's describing. No, it's not the case. It doesn't sound like they're in the middle of nowhere with no neighbors and it's so far. Like if she was like, we're on a hundred acre ranch and we can't see our neighbors, let them pee wherever. Wherever. Wherever. And even then, if she were like, I would rather you just use the bathroom, I would still be like, yeah.

Cause that is kind of, what's crazy is there's a room for this. There's a room in our house that we created specifically for this. It even has like the specific name. Yes, and it's the best, it's like we've created it to be the best experience for it. And then you get to wash your hands right after.

That's the other thing actually. Yeah, cause you do touch. When he's peeing outside, he's not washing his hands and he's smoking the cigarette. So like his, his hands are going from cigarette to dick to cigarette. When you put it that way. Yeah, come on.

Absolutely disgusting. That's different. And no one brought that up. No one brought that up. No one brought that up. No, I'm not. I'm searching cigarette. Let's be real. This man is not rushing inside to wash his hands. Ah, no one mentions this. And cigarette hands are strong. And when they touch other things, the other things start smelling like cigarettes as well. I would not want to give a blow job later. smelling like cigarettes as well. I would not want to give a blowjob later. No, I wouldn't. No, I wouldn't. I don't smoke. Like I don't, I would not like that flavor. God, down there you're basically

sucking on a cigarette. Second hand cigarette dick. It's not what I want. That's no, disgusting. No, wash your fucking hands. Yeah. So just go to the bathroom, sir. I think that's what was most disturbing about COVID. Obviously, like, the whole thing was really fucked up. But finding out that men don't wash their hands. Yeah. Like, compared to women, on average, the stats that came out about hand washing. Yeah.

And even I have family members that have admitted I don't wash my hands if I just pee. And I go, what happens if you have to shake someone's hand after? Oh, I just do it. You just shake that. I think there's a lot of dick going around. I, oh my God.

No, no, no. On our hands. There was literally another like study that came out and it was like women on average touch 10 dicks a day by handshaking or something like that. I wish. on average touch 10 dicks a day by hand shaking or something like that. I wish. In an average day, your hands will have come into indirect contact with 15 penises.

Whoa. Touching door handles, shaking hands, et cetera. That feels about right. Cause also a lot of the time when I'm like, if I'm in a bathroom, like a public bathroom and I'm washing my hands a lot of the time when I'm like, if I'm in a bathroom, like a public bathroom, and I'm washing my hands a lot of the time, a move I see often is put hands under the water quick and then just like move on. That doesn't work. Just kind of like, we're just doing this for aesthetics now, aren't we?

So you can come out with a little drippy to proof he did something. Yeah. Disgusting. Granted, what also freaks me out though is that apparently sometimes washing your hands in a public bathroom makes them dirtier than when you first walked in. It's like, how are we supposed to do anything? And that's why I guess having hand sanitizer on you at all times is good. I know.

I had microbiome in college and we would like go around swabbing everything. And there was one where it was like the toilet seat is cleaner than your cell phone. Yes, which I believe. I believe that. Just gross. Okay, moving along. So this one is also about claustrophobia. Sounds like very dark.

I, female 24, have severe claustrophobia and my husband, male 33, locked me in a closet. How do I move on from this? Yeah, that's a very dark. Oh my God, heartbroken. Heartbroken from the title. Whoa. Divorce is how you move on.

I think so. From that one. I feel so bad even having to write this. I have severe, severe claustrophobia. Like I can't stand any sort of space that makes it feel like I can't move. I hate planes and back seats of cars and just generally anything like that. I feel like I can't breathe or like I'm going to suffocate. I know it's completely ridiculous, but I guess that's why it's a phobia. My husband clearly knows this, especially because I don't

like being laid on or held down for the same claustrophobic reasons. Last night, I was retrieving something from my closet. It's a small closet, like big enough for me to get inside. But if you close the door, I'd be jammed between the clothes and shelves and the door. And that's exactly what my husband did. I immediately started to lose it. And he was holding the door shut from the other side and he was laughing.

And I begged him to open the door. I tried to stay calm, but I genuinely started to cry. My stomach was churning. I felt like I was gonna either suffocate or have a heart attack. He put something between the handles so that I couldn't get out. He left me in there for 15 minutes while I sobbed and he laughed. I eventually vomited in the closet and that's what made him let me out. I feel so horrific. Why would my husband do this?

He knows I'm claustrophobic. He could hear me crying and begging. I feel violated. Is that over dramatic? No. I would be pressing charges. Leave that man. Leave him and press charges. Terrible. That is horrifying. Also, if that's what his idea of funny is, is hearing you in genuine pain, that's like a bigger red flag. He sounds like a serial killer. It's very psychopathic. He's having no empathy.

None. And he's enjoying theic. He's having no empathy. And he's enjoying the fact that you're in anguish. I'm terrified for her and I'm so mad for her. This is not anything that's ridiculous. It was ridiculous he would even attempt this or do this. What the fuck was the point behind any of this? Especially if he knows all of this. This sounds like some asshole trying to do like exposure therapy.

Like, I'm gonna lock her in the closet so she just gets over it. Like she's gonna get over it. That's horrifying. Oh, this is sickening. All the comments better be in agreement with us. Yeah, so... Okay, good. Yes, we have a lot of comments that are very, very, very mad.

He should, he genuinely, like, charges pressed. Yeah, well, it gets worse. So the top comment, which obviously they must have seen something that OP responded to, and it got upvoted so much now that it is the top and we're getting new info. Holy shit. And you're newly pregnant? This is abusive and highly concerning. Abusers often escalate when their partners are pregnant. Get away from that man. He shouldn't be a father.

He can't be trusted with you to be a decent, kind, empathetic partner. He literally just tortured you on purpose. And at the same, like my heart goes out to her because she's now in this horrible position of he is escalating while she's pregnant. She's probably realizing that he's not the one to stay with, but she's now in this horrifying position of being tied to him for a long time because of this child.

Yeah. Well, an OP even says like, we didn't even mean to get pregnant. It was an accident. I'm just so hurt right now reading all of these comments. Probably because she knows. I think she does because like even at the beginning by saying like, I feel so bad even having to write this.

Like, I feel so violated. Am I being overdramatic? I feel like part of her almost wanted to be told, like she wanted to be validated, but there's maybe this small part of her who wanted to be told like, you're just overreacting and everything's gonna be okay, because if all of her feelings are truly valid,

that means her whole life has to change, which is an extremely scary thing, especially when going through a breakup. And I've never been treated in that direct way, but if I think of my own experiences of realizing a relationship isn't right for me, it's so all consuming because relationships can become your whole life.

And then you think, wow, everything needs to change right now. And I think she's maybe going through that. And that's like such a hard position to be in. Whoa. But she is not even close to being, to overreacting or being the asshole. Like, oh my God.

No, not at all. And so the comment where she like kind of initially shares this new info, someone goes, what the dot dot dot? I assume you confronted him once you finished vomiting. Did he have any reason or explanation for his behavior? Not that that would make it right right at all. Just putting that out there. They don't say that and opi goes Yeah, he apologized like profusely and told me he didn't know it was quote so bad Okay, but he knew.

Gaslight, gaslight, gaslight. He's gaslighting her. When I said you knew, he said he didn't think the closet was small enough to make me have a reaction. He thought I was laughing. I don't know what to do. No, no, no, he's uh-uh. Obviously, it's not easy to make a decision

to leave my husband. I'm also six weeks pregnant, which I probably should have put in the post. Yeah, she's got it She's got to get out or at the very least the very very least couples therapy immediately It is so scary. I think I think it's also a red flag Let's say he wasn't lying and he didn't realize it's that big of a deal. That's a red flag because that means he doesn't listen to her. Because if this is such an all-consuming fear, there's no way she wouldn't have brought it up at least a few times. Yeah, I think it's very clear he knew. Like they've probably gone on an airplane together. There's probably been a time, maybe, where they've probably gone on an airplane together. There's probably been a time Maybe where they've written in a car together, and she doesn't want to sit in the back seat

Right, right. There's literally no excuse like you're married to this person Which I will say from the jump and I know a lot of people get mad at me for this But I hate their age gap Female 24 male 33 Nine years. It's just like not the best for me. Like he's likely... I fall into those all the time. You an age gap queen. You like the older ones.

Well, yeah, yeah. But I think it's one, living in a patriarchal society, an age gap between two men kind of does have a different power dynamic than an age gap between an older man and a younger woman. Yes. I can't deny that. Like there's, I think there are a lot of different dynamics that happen there, but regardless, she's 24, you said? Yeah. Yeah, like... There's likely a power imbalance. She's 24 and newly pregnant.

There's likely a power imbalance. Yeah. Oh my God. That's my God. That's my thought. Like, and we don't really know the ins and outs, but to me, I'm starting to get the vibe that he baby-trapped her.

Wow. I'm like my head, again, I told you, I catastrophize everything. Like my head is going down this rabbit hole of like, this was intentional on his part. He wanted to make sure she was like locked in. That's when all of a sudden she's locked in, she's pregnant. He gets fucking crazy.

Like something's not right. Well, have you seen the 50 parts series on TikTok recently? I am trying to find, I've heard about it. And I watched like one clip that was like, let me give you the rundown in 60 seconds so you don't have to watch all 38 parts or whatever. A 50 parts. I just finished it today. You watched every one.

I watched every single one. I did put them on two times speed because I was like, I'm going to try to get through this as fast as possible. But it took me about four days. Give us the low down. And I watched every single one. Four days? It took me about four days.

I wasn't watching for a full 24 hours, but every morning I would get through a little over 10 parts. Oh my God, your morning routine? Yeah, it was literally like my morning routine. And to really relate it to this story, she's basically married to an extreme narcissist. He's a liar. Nothing of what he said was true. He would literally be on the phone with his brother

for 40 minutes every morning. She found out later he wasn't talking to anyone. And he would, there would be moments where he would be like, hey babe, my brother says hi. And she would be like, hi. She finds out there was no one on the phone for years for that whole time. And to tie it into this story,

there was a point at which, well, he was a narcissist and he would get off on promising her things and then never delivering. So he was kind of in the same way of like, kind of getting off on knowing she was going to feel horrible. Oh my God. And she finds out later that one of the reasons they got married was because he knew that if he didn't propose to her and lock it down, she would not be his boyfriend or his girlfriend

for more than a year. He knew she was going to find out he was a fraud and she would leave him. So if what you're saying is true about this guy and she got baby trapped, ooh, yeah, like narcissistic men know in the back of their head they're the problems, so they'll do whatever they can to lock it down. Oh my God, it's just terrifying. There's no other comments from our OP. Again, it's only two days old, so we will definitely keep our eyes peeled for an update.

That is heartbreaking. Just so sad. So sad because like your partner is supposed to keep you safe and I just respect you at least. Right. At the very least. And that's just not here. Like, closet doors are not that thick. There's no way you didn't hear her crying or asking to be let out. So you're actually just a psychopath. And phobias just aren't something to be played with.

If someone's like, this is a true phobia, it is not your job as a significant other to practice exposure therapy unannounced. If that's what you were really thinking as well. You're not a fucking trained psychologist psychiatrist. You have no right trying to attempt exposure therapy on your pregnant wife. Oh, my God. You're pregnant. 24 year old wife. I'm terrified.

There is a warm place in hell for him. Yeah, I hate him. Oh, OK. One last one. OK. Finale finale. It sounds a little juicy based on the title. It's only three days old, coming from true off my chest. I think my husband's mistress thinks he is richer than he actually is. My best friend thinks I'm a douche because I am keeping silent. Oh, and she knows about the mistress, but she's keeping quiet.

Okay, now I'm ready. I'm on board. Yeah, husband in quotes because we are not legally married. He 39, me 39, mistress 29, best friend 39. We have been together for 14 years, living together for 11. He came and told me that he was in love about three weeks ago. I was surprised at the lack of fucks I had to give at receiving such information. I did love him, but maybe my love has always been conditional and it's survival dependent on it being reciprocated,

because it literally vanished the second he confessed to me that he was in love with another woman. He didn't wanna separate, but to maybe open the relationship or let his feelings for her subside. I said it was over. It was like I never had feelings for him ever. He was taken aback by my indifference, which I thought, the audacity?

Did he want me to be hurt and suffer? I told him that he should be relieved that he didn't cause pain. I thought, the audacity? Did he want me to be hurt and suffer? I told him that he should be relieved that he didn't cause pain. Instead, he has been sulking ever since. What? Last Friday, I get home and the mistress was there. Sitting in my kitchen, sipping my tea.

Oh. I felt nauseous because seriously? Yeah, right? I told them that this wasn't civil at all and to never be in my home again or I would call the cops. I went to my room and I heard her yelling at him for not standing up for her. Then I heard her say something very curious. Quote, why haven't you kicked her out yet? He was trying to tell her to lower her voice whispering later, we can discuss it later. Oh God. She left and he came to me apologizing. He said, quote, we didn't have sex here. If this is what you are scared of,

she just dropped by because I was working from home today. I told him he had until the end of March to move out and to find somewhere to be during the weekends. This morning, I changed all of the locks. From now on, he isn't allowed in my place during my working hours. So if he starts later or finishes earlier, well, he needs to wait for me to come home and let him in.

Wow. But his mistress's words stuck with me. so during the weekend I have been stalking her social media. I think that she thinks he is rich, or at least that he owns my apartment. I think she also thinks that my parents' summer house and boat are his. Unfortunately, the loser has taken her there, probably bragging about his wealth because her hashtags were all about the good life.

Whoa, these are her parents' house and boat? Yeah, and he took her there. Whoa. Wow. I was telling my best friend all of this, but she was more agitated than indifferent on my behalf. She told me that he was a scum not telling the mistress the truth.

I agreed. I know, right? But then she said I was no better, not explaining to her his situation either. I was dumbfounded, but she was actually serious. I told her that it wasn't my job to bring back the mistress down to earth. My best friend got very angry and demanded that I give her the mistress's username so that she could warn her. No, I said. She called me, quote, a bigger douche than he is then. What? I don't know what's going on with these people.

Have they gone mad or have I? When did our moral compass go askew like this? Can someone tell me I'm not insane? Okay. Let me try to go backwards. Best friend. She best friend. Not anymore. Not anymore.

Best friend, why did you say you're a bigger asshole than the husband? But before you said that, I get where you're coming from. Yes, someone does need to warn this mistress and tell her that this is a lie. And it's also not her responsibility. The wife's responsibility. So wife, let the best friend do it.

But best friend, don't say your wife is worse, don't say the wife is worse than the husband. This husband is obviously a loser. And the mistress, I honestly, I like don't even really fault her. She has been led very astray by how, by what the husband has told her, at least. I honestly feel really evil because I just feel like it's karma. At the same time, sure. However, wait, maybe I'm unclear.

The wife knew that the husband had this mistress, right? And like was technically originally okay with it? No. He kind of like came and like dropped a bomb on her and was just like, hey, I'm in love with someone else. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. After 14 years of being together, which like that's after, you know, seven in a lot of states

is common law marriage. Yeah. So I do, I do, yes, the mistress, there are things she probably should have known better, but also like I can't fault her for the lie she's currently being fed. Yeah. You know, like she is, she's in the echo chamber of just hearing from this man. And so I think I understand the best friend's point of view of being like, we got to tell her.

I don't understand why the wife is so resistant to telling her. But I do get that it's kind of like not my monkeys, not my circus. But if the best friend is saying, let me do it, then allow the best friend to do it. But best friend, why are we raising the stakes and saying you're worse? So there are, it's just this issue with opinions and stuff like that. Or there's so many, there's just so many things going on. Yeah. Well, and I guess I got a point, like, I would almost want the best friend to tell. I would so, I would be like, go ahead.

Well, because I want to see it blow up. Yeah. I would just be like, go ahead, because I don't want to be the... I'm so evil. Well, but then you're not the bearer of bad news. Yeah, no. My conscience is clean. I'm getting out from a scumbag,

but also not letting him kind of win, saving her. I do feel like, I feel like at the end of the day, yes, there are some petty morals to it and being like, I want to destroy the man. I want everything that he is building up in this false life that he's building up to crumble. But also I think it is really beneficial to this girl, to the mistress, and being like,

-"Hey, Queen, everything you're being told is a lie." -"Yeah." -"You gotta get out." -"Yeah." -"Like, get out soon." Because while your morals maybe weren't correct in getting into this if you knew he was married, if you know what other things you're being lied to about, you're definitely not gonna wanna stay in this longer. And if then, when she has all the information,

she's like, well, fuck you, I'm gonna stick by my man. Then it's like... Good riddance. I told you, I gave you all the information I could've. You're an idiot. Yeah. I guess that is true, because like, she is only... 29.

She's 29. She's pretty fucked grown. She's pretty grown. But I guess it might be like a good learning lesson. 29. Well, she's 29. She's pretty fucking grown. She's pretty grown. Yeah. But I guess it might be like a good learning lesson. Like almost, I would throw it in her face. Like that's just me. Sure. But I would almost be like, hey, he's lying to you.

Take this as a lesson and next time be a girl's girl. Yeah. Like it doesn't pay to be a pick me. You're never going to win if you're the mistress mistress because hey, he splits from the wife You now become the wifey a position just opened girl He's gonna fill the mistress role sooner than later like who knows if he kind of told her this told the mistress the story of being like my You know my ex just like won't move out of my apartment and she's like harassing me

So then mistress when wife comes in, is on the defense and thinking like, oh shit, the wife is here, the one who won't leave him alone. Like get out when it's like, no, that's not the story, babe. It's not the case. It's not the story. Oh. Men are always at the root of all of everything negative.

Who's like, well, you don't have to drop names, not who. You, your face, you're like, oh. What is like the craziest thing someone you've dated has ever done or like the biggest red flag you've come across? I mean, it's definitely just gotta be, oh, well, oh. Sophomore year of high school,

I was dating this guy who was a senior and he was really, really horrible and was always focused on the power dynamics of our relationship. And so one time we were in his room having a good time and he like pulls me in to kiss me. We kiss and then he pushes me away. And it's like, okay, you have to leave.

And I was like, what? And he was like, you need to know who still has the power in this relationship. And he knew I was so in love with him. And that has, I think through a lot of therapy that has set up so many of my like formative beliefs of myself in a relationship, because then later down the line in other relationships, I would get cheated on a lot,

but I just like compartmentalized it as being like, well, I am usually the one with less power in a relationship. So now going through a lot of therapy, I have now realized how I need to stand in my power and not get disrespected. But there have been times when I've been with people who exhibit a lot of narcissistic behaviors.

And I think it's been like largely detrimental because especially when those things happen early on. They're so formative. They're so formative. It got to the point where I could memorize what his footsteps sounded like walking down the hallway towards my room because I would be so like nervous

because when we would go in and out of being in a relationship and when we were broken up, it was always the worst and he was always like placing himself placing himself in different like parts of my life and this was boarding school so there was no escape but placing himself in different parts of my life just for me to consistently be on edge there would be weekends I would wake up and he would be sitting at the edge of my bed being like, we need to talk. Sounds like psychological abuse. It was. It was.

Holy shit. During the winter, we would in the dorms, you would leave your shoes outside of your room because we were in Massachusetts. It was very snowy. So you would leave your shoes outside your room and he would take them and hide them somewhere, like put them outside. Is he in jail now? He must be in jail.

I think he's married and like- That's scary. I don't keep up, of course. No. There was a time that I did, cause I kind of wanted to just like maintain, but like we even talked a bit in college, because I was like, okay, I need to maybe,

maybe just like reclaiming having no bad blood is helpful, but now we, we don't keep up. No, he's no, and even telling these stories obviously gives me anxiety because I'm like, God, if I ever hear from him, I'll get, I'll be terrified, but never, let me Adam. Yeah, I'll get, I'll be terrified. But I'm never gonna like really the people who know who know, know not gonna like name drop and have a witch hunt against him. But it's always been that that was so formative to me because sophomore year of high school

in general, as the internet has concluded is always sometimes people's worst year of their lives. It was terrible. And there was definitely, that was one of the reasons it was really tough. Yeah, it was really bad for me too. Sophomore and junior year, I got bullied really bad. But thank you for sharing. That is very vulnerable and I think very important for a lot of people to hear. And again, men are at the root of all of our problems.

Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you for having me. Where can people find you? How can they engage with your content? You can find me on TikTok at Chris. You can find me on Instagram at Chris Olson, YouTube Chris Olson. And you don't even have to search those things to find me. I'm probably going to invade your for you page at some point. And I'm sorry for that. No, your content is amazing. Thank you. Amazing. You're just like, every time you pop up,

I just like, I just know, like whatever mood I'm in, I'm gonna feel better after watching. Thank you. And you just hear that. I'm just having a good time. I'm trying to have a good time living my life. That's literally what life is about. And you're very vulnerable. You share a lot about, you know,

especially when you were going through your breakup, you shared a lot about mental health and still do. And I just really, really value your content. So thank you for coming on. I value this podcast a lot and I already can't wait to watch the app. You had firetakes the whole time. I'm so excited.

I don't even really know what I said. So I'm excited to hear them. I black it out after. There were some lines that I said and in the back of my head, I was like, banger. I love that. I will be sure to post all of Chris's links so you can easily find him in the description,

audio, and YouTube. So check him out. And other than that, until next time, guys. Bye.