Two Hot Takes - 16: Family.. So Much Drama It Requires Two Parts

Episode Date: May 13, 2021

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-hosts Justin and her dad, Jerry! This episode has more crazy stories about families.. They just keep getting better you guys! Stories include one about a woman who changed her baby name for her sister only to have her do something terrible, a woman who wants to have her wedding in ASL but is getting some pushback from her family, a man who refuses to buy his daughter new bedding after it was ruined, a happy story from Justin about a guy who told his family he had to "jizz", a man whose battling with his wife about giving his stepson half of his daughters college fund, and last but not least an individual who wants their daughter to get a divorce... and rightfully so. WOW.. we got through a lot of stories on this one.   BE SURE TO CHECK OUR PATREON FOR THE DEEP DIVE! Morgan and her dad get into a bit of a battle during one of these stories and its a bit awkward.  Show your support (much appreciated): https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes

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It's everything you need to make a podcast all in one place. Download the free Anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started. Well? Well, are you ready? I'm ready. You're going to introduce who your guests are of the day? I don't really think you need an introduction. I've talked about you so much throughout the episodes already, but hi guys, welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan. And I'm Justin.

And I'm Morgan's dad, Jerry. Welcome. It's about time we've had you on. Glad to be here. I know you're very nervous. I am. You're so nervous. Drugs are great. No, we don't encourage there.

Resist drugs. So we're back with another episode on family. The whole theme is family, the good, the bad, the ugly. So it's all about family drama and I think that's something we know a lot about. I think that a lot of people know a lot about that. Yeah, but us especially. Okay, let's dive in. Okay.

Okay, so the first story, families and babies. Babies always bring the drama. Love them, but they bring the drama. Are babies bringing the drama when we find out about them or after they're born? Always. Which part? I mean, there's phases. I mean, what was the worst part for you? For me. All of it.

Today. I would say that I didn't have any issue with any part of the idea of babies. I know that moms are sometimes more worried in the very beginning because they have to go explain to people that either pregnant and they're worried about bringing the news and it depends on the situation. If it's planned or unplanned. If it's planned, not planned, who's ready, who's going to react. And when you came into the picture, even though you were just a cell dividing, I told your mom, it doesn't matter when or what. Once a baby is born, everyone loves the child. There's all kinds of drama before kids.

Everybody has to put their two cents into it. For sure. But if you just relax and just enjoy the wave and life is that's what life is a consistently of current and waves of motion that it works. And you'll find that the experience is pleasant and wonderful and an embellishing of life. I would say that there wasn't a day. Maybe I can think of a day or two back in your driving with alcohol behind. Okay. Well, we'll save that one for a rainy day.

The rest of the part, there wasn't a, every day was better than the last. And I hate to, to sound like the Confucius. You look like this. I don't want to be the fictitious father, but it really is that way. You, you every, every child brings our parent a lot of joy. It's up to the parent really to pull it back and just let them experience the wave. Okay. Well, let's see if this lady has the same feelings as you.

So up first, am I the asshole for not changing my baby's name again after I changed it for my sister once already? All names are fake. I have a nine year old daughter and another on the way. I had two grandmothers, Annie and Rose. I named my oldest Annabelle after nanny Annie, whose full name was also Annabelle. I did not name her after Nana Rose at the time she was born. Nana Rose was still with us.

When I found out I was pregnant with a second, I decided to name her after Nana Rose, who passed in 2017. My sister Lucy got pregnant about five months before me. She says that she wants to name her baby Rose after Nana Rose. I say our kids can share the name. She says I already have Annabelle and I could have named her Annabelle Rose or something, but passed on the chance. So I can't also have Rose. I figured this is not the hill to die on. So I say I'll look for something else, but reserve the right to use Rose.

I then crack open a baby book and after a few entries after Rose is Rosalie. It's perfect. Honors Nana Rose doesn't piss off Lucy and my boyfriend loves it. Anna was my mother's little name. Look at that. Lucy finds out the new name and says it's lovely and she approves, which annoys me, but I say nothing. This all takes place in the eighth month of her pregnancy, third month of mine. So I don't even know the gender yet and this is all a hypothetical.

A couple weeks later, Lucy gives birth. A few days ago, about a month after birth, she announces that her daughter's name is Rosalie. At this point, I'm really annoyed because I went to great lengths to leave the name Rose available and she's nicked my choice. Mom calls me to say she knew what Lucy was planning and hopes I'm not upset because this means I can now name my incoming daughter Rose, except now I'm attached to Rosalie. I tell mom that I'm sticking with Rosalie. She says Lucy has Rosalie. I say there's going to be two Rosalies in the family.

She says this is impractical as both Rosalie's will have the same surname. Sister is a single mom, boyfriend is taking my name and they will likely be in the same school and year group. So this will cause all manner of issues. I say it's going to be an issue then. I'll deal with it when it comes up. Sister is a fucking bitch for stealing the name. I do believe she is, but there's always an answer here. If she's dead on keeping Rosalie, she can have a Rosalie and a middle name.

And they can differentiate the two children by Rosalie Ann or Rosalie Margaret or Rosalie, whatever. Yeah, that's very practical. I mean, I think in school it was hard enough when someone had your same first name in your class. Yeah. Because then it's like, oh, Morgan. And you're like, and it's the other Morgan. Yeah. I feel like that happened to me all the time, let alone first and last name.

Things getting switched up. I know, because typically kids. I do believe also that there's going to be a fix that's going to happen naturally. I mean, even if they gave each other the exact same name of Rosalie, someone's going to come up with a nickname. It's going to happen. Yeah. And it's going to migrate on its own.

The problem will fix itself rather than having this match between the two and bring it to Dukes. If they're both dead set on it. That's fine and dandy if the other sister is normal and not a crazy narcissist like this bitch. There is no doubt that that one sister copied the other sister. Sister one certainly took sister twos. The baby sister's idea or whoever. If she's a younger sister or not, you know, took her idea and how to go stomp on it. That's sibling rivalry and they do this shit.

And it's sad that they can't be more mature about it and define it. But at the end of the day, it's going to fix itself. And like, if her guns are set to be Rosalie or, you know, look, who knows, it could be, it could be, turn out to be a boy. We don't know. True. So she goes on to say Lucy then calls me calling me an inconsiderate prick and says, I'm being petty that I don't have a monopoly on the name and that she can name her kid what she likes.

I said, that's all true. So by that same logic, I can use Rosalie. She says there can't be two Rosalie's and it'll cause problems. And I say, she's the one who has a problem with it. So she can change her kid's name or deal with it. She again called me an inconsiderate spiteful ass and hung up mom, dad, and our brother, all side with Lucy. Am I the asshole?

Wow. I think I love the sister's analogy that I can do what the hell I want. And I'm going to do it. And I like the rules that whatever apply, do you apply to me? So I'm going to, you're going to do Rosalie. I'm going to do Rosalie and you can go deal with it and I'll deal with it. She's the one that copied her. She went out of her way to find a new name and stole the name

and is now calling her an inconsiderate ass. I got all that. My answer is to look beyond it. The family siding with the copier. Yeah. Why? Because they're idiots. Because she was there first I guess.

No, they're just enablers. I'm sure if this, typically people that act like this, it doesn't start overnight. It's been a pattern. And it's probably been a pattern this girl's whole life, OP's whole life. My sister gets what she wants. She's the spoiled one. She's a narcissist and people enable them. I go back to square one.

Pick the name of a child. Pick your child's name as you wish and let everyone else get over it. And if a nickname has naturally come up, it's going to happen. Yeah. I also don't think you should tell people your kid names before they're born. I think that's what I was thinking. Keep it a secret. I think that's a good practice.

Especially in this circumstance. Yeah. I wouldn't have told the sister shit. That applies for everybody, but when you get pregnant and me. Yeah. So top comment, not the asshole, but honestly, your first mistake was giving in and negotiating with your emotional terrorist sister. Damn right.

OP replies back, I should never have entertained it, but I just figured there would be better hills to die on. And it could be tricky to have cousins with the same name anyway. Your sister is an asshole as is your mother for enabling her. That being said, the so-called issues of sharing a name aren't real because you can just make sure to use another middle name if you like. And we said that. Yeah.

And how many times has she had to be the bigger person? Yeah. And how many times can you do that until you're just at the end? Over it. Yeah. Absolutely over it. I would be friendly and just go name my child whatever I wanted to name it and do not engage with the battling.

Yeah. I feel that. Okay. Well, don't tell people your baby names, guys. Okay. I promise I'll tell anybody in my future baby's names. Yeah. I don't think you'll have any problems, huh?

Okay. We're at the next one. Okay. So next one has a ton of awards. Am I the asshole for having my wedding ceremony in sign language? I'm 24 female deaf. And growing up, my parents got me bilateral cochlear implants and forced me into mainstream school.

Never taught me sign language and never immersed me into my culture as a deaf person. They were actually pretty against me using ASL at all. Well, I took ASL in high school against my parents' wishes and then got into a deaf university. Although I couldn't sign fluently when I started, I finally felt accepted and understood. The deaf community was nothing but welcoming. I became fluent in ASL and after a few months, I stopped wearing my processors completely as there was no need for them anymore.

I honestly didn't realize how alone I had felt until I didn't feel that way anymore. Yeah. Such a disservice to your child to not teach them ASL or not try to adapt for them. Like that's basically saying like, no, you're not good enough the way you are. And we're going to do everything we can to fix you. So terrible. I met my fiance at college. He is from a very large family of deaf people.

Everyone he knows, even in his far extended family is deaf, hard of hearing, CODA or SODA. And everyone is fluent in sign. I love his family so much. We've been together four years now. He proposed last May. We've been planning the wedding and have decided to have it fully in ASL. The pastor at our church's deaf program agreed to do the ceremony. My extended family of hearing people is very small.

Just my mom, my dad, my sister, my brothers, my aunt, my uncle and my cousins. My cousin is actually learning sign. Whereas my fiance's huge extended family who are all deaf or sign fluently will be there and most of our friends are deaf or know to sign. We decided to get an interpreter for the hearing people though. So they'd know what was going on. Our wedding is in August, so we just sent the invites. The invite mentions that it will be in ASL.

But we'll have an interpreter for those who are, quote, signing impaired, which is kind of just a joke. But my mom started texting me and tried to convince me that it should be in English and have an ASL interpreter. I feel like it's our wedding, so we should have it in our first language. And my mom thinks that we are in America, so English should be the first language. And anyone who doesn't choose to get cured, aka get an implant, should get an interpreter.

She also said it was disrespectful to say signing impaired. I don't think she realizes the irony as she always refers to me as hearing impaired. During the entire conversation, she kept repeating that I should never have let you go to that school. My mom also says that the deaf people should be used to having interpreters whereas she's never had one before. So it will make it harder to understand. Am I the asshole here? Should I just have the ceremony in English? Because I guess that's what more normal way of communication,

even though we consider sign our primary language. Hell no. Fuck that mom. I think it's very, very cool. I didn't even think about that. I thought when you first started reading it was going to be all in sign language with no interpreter. Okay, then it's for the people who are there supporting you that want to know what's going on. I love it.

Are signing impaired. Yeah, I think that's so cool. I think that's so cool. So cute. Then it makes more sense like... Okay. And she said most of the people there are... Are also deaf.

It's just super cool. I fully support that. I thought it was extremely clever when she did the... Oh, signing impaired. The signing impaired. I thought that was extremely clever. I think that the mother really... I mean, this is obviously her wedding.

The girl, her and her husband, they make the rule. It's their dream day. Mom, dad just got to roll with it. And I think it's clever and support your daughter. Yeah, well this just goes to show how her mom is very, very ableist and doesn't recognize her daughter's disability and doesn't want to accept her daughter's disability. Doesn't want to accept it.

And tries to make her normal. And everyone should get cured. Well, guess what, sweetie? Cochlear implants don't work for every deaf individual. I think that her mother should go see the movie The Sound of Metal. Oh yeah, that one. It won some big awards recently. Amazing.

And when you actually see what this guy went through and how he finally decided and figure it out where he's now comfortable and what his life really is where he finds his solitude. And it really is it. Some parents are fucking narcissistic, toxic, just terrible people though. And this mother, I cannot, if my mom said anyone who chooses sign language as their first language should choose to get cured.

Yeah. Like, I'm sorry, fuck you. This is who these people are. This is a part of their identity. As a parent, I do know one thing. You try to do whatever you can to have your children feel apart of what everyone else can do. And I think that in the beginning when they went for the Cochlear implants

their heart may have been in the right place. Yeah, maybe. But I also think if your heart was in the right place you should also do what's best for your child which would be to learn some form of sign. There's no doubt that the signing was a wonderful thing and I think that again, maybe they were misguided. Maybe they missed the mark on throwing the dart.

But I think their intentions were in the right place. I don't know. I don't think you can assume that with this one. It doesn't mean it's right. But I think that the fact that the daughter found her way, she found her way into this and she wanted to do it, absolutely those parents are obligated at this point in time to support their child and whatever she wants to do

and what's best for her. And that's where they're missing the mark. Yeah. I think something you don't realize though, not all parents are good parents. Oh, I know that. I just think the mom's never going to get it. I mean, at this point you just have to make these decisions

for your wedding and not for your mom. At the end of the day, I've mentioned this before, your wedding is for you. That's correct. It's your day. Make it your day, you and your partner's day. And everyone else if they have problems can f off. I think one thing I was thinking throughout reading this story

where the mom is like, I'm going to be uncomfortable having an interpreter. It's like, imagine how disabled individuals feel in a world that is built for the abled. Right. Like you have to experience it for one little day. For a day. For a ceremony.

If her mother really wants to really show her support, maybe she should go take sign-in links. Exactly. Exactly. Go learn to sign over a month or two and what she should have done many years ago. Absolutely. Yeah, because cochlear implants,

first of all, you can't do right away. They take time and they're also very, very traumatic for those individuals that first get them. You have to, your brain has to then interact with this device and you're, you know, it's... To make it all work again. To make it all work and read the signals that the device is sending.

So it's not like you get this cochlear implant, you turn it on and you can automatically hear and understand language. Because language is a part of our brain that you only learn from exposure over time. It's that, you know, that linguistic center. So it actually tunes itself. Yeah, so this poor little girl, this child,

went probably, you know, how long, not having a way to communicate with her parents. And babies can learn sign so fast and watching like tiny little ones like six months old, like babies that are deaf. You know how babies babble, they coo, and they're bleh, bleh, bleh, and like babble, but the babies who are deaf will actually babble

in sign language. Yeah. It's just learning another language. Yeah. And isn't that the best time to also learn another speaking language? It's the same thing. Exactly, they're little sponges.

Well, and think how you feel when you're in a, like a foreign country or even the first time you walked into a Spanish class. And you don't know what's going on. No, and I think, I think to be deaf for, I mean blind or anything like that, one of your senses completely removed or just not, you know, not working, not functioning.

I think that is just, it's a tough world. The disabled community is, it's amazing and it's so inclusive and so to hear her experience, like she was just instantly welcomed in is just so amazing. And it's like, why wouldn't you want to be a part of that? That's a part of you and your identity. Having the ceremony that way is just the,

it's like the perfect end card. Yeah. It's the best way to fulfill your day. I mean, it's just the coolest thing. I think so too. And I think it's, you know, obviously what this couple finds meaningful and it's who they are.

I say bravo to her and him and best of luck in your wedding. So OP gives some edits slash like clarifications. She goes, I can't cut off my parents. I'm currently helping pay for my little brother to go to a school for autistic kids. We can't sign and speak at the same time. The pastor and my fiance can't speak.

I can, but I choose not to unless I absolutely have to, which interesting. Got it. Yeah. Because if you're, if you're deaf and you never get the cochlear implants, you don't learn the way that language sounds. Right.

So you can watch videos on YouTube of deaf individuals that try to talk without, you know, their cochlear implants in or they never learned, but it's not, it's not how we would speak. Right. It's better than to like put someone up there on their wedding day and have them try to struggle. That's not their language.

Right. And that's not what it's about. Yeah. I've already said that. I think it's great through what they're doing. Yeah. It's fantastic. It's her wedding, joy it,

and better parents just get over it. So there's a lot of edits and I'll keep going through them. My parents didn't only not learn ASL, but they explicitly prevented me from it while growing up. We lived in Austin, Texas. My whole childhood and there was a school for deaf, 10 minutes from our house,

but they specifically said they would never let me go there. Sure. You still want to stick to, they had their best intentions for their child. Is this the same family? Yes. The mom and dad explicitly prevented her from learning. Wouldn't let her go to a school with deaf children

to where she'd feel included and inclusive. Did they just think it was going to go away? Like, what's the logic? She was cured. She had cochlear implants. She was cured. She's not like those other deaf children. Oh, wow.

There's just some weird pride issues. Toxicity. Yeah. This is terrible. Adding this later, exact words from the invite, reception will be held in ASL. In ASL,

English interpreters will be provided for the signing impaired. I literally put it in quotations. The deaf community didn't indoctrate me into not wearing my processors. I just started using ASL more and more, and then I needed a surgery to adjust the implant, but I decided to just not get the surgery and stop wearing them.

There was no real point in it, and I didn't feel like getting an unnecessary surgery. Another edit to those of you questioning and even mad at me for not wanting to wear my implants, you don't hear normally. Like a lot of people saying things like, don't you want to hear music or birds chirping? Music through cochlear implants sucks,

at least for me. Even when I used to wear cochlear implants all the time, I would take them off to listen to music. And no, background noise like birds chirping makes it harder for the microphone to pick up other noises like people talking. Interesting. Even though, like,

I think a lot of people think you get these implants and it's normal hearing. It's not, it's still a different world. Yeah, for sure. So you tell me I should get hearing aids sometimes. You do need them. And I look at you and I see there's not a chance because they sound like shit.

And I'm sure cochlear implants are the same type of root of sound of that synthetic noise that comes through. It's not hearing. It's probably painful in a lot of ways. It can be. Yeah, I've heard that cochlear implants can be very jarring. Well, and that's her choice.

Yeah. She is at the point in the age where she can make these decisions and if she doesn't want them, then that's cool. Absolutely. I completely agree. Top comment, not the asshole, not even close. Why should the couple getting married need a translator

to understand their own ceremony to appease a few of the attendees? That is ridiculous. It would be like having the bride and groom who are hearing, love the sign impaired joke, that speak English, have their ceremony done in French, which they don't speak because a handful of attendees don't speak English.

Right. When you take ASL out of the mix, it sounds ridiculous. Why is ASL any different? That's just another language. Exactly. Sign language. Yeah. Well, they have my support

and I'm sure everybody else listening. Yeah. So OP gives a comment after that response. My mom's argument has always been, quote, it's easier for you to stick an implant on your head than for everyone in the family to learn a new language. Yet she also doesn't view ASL as a real language. Yeah.

I mean, that's been apparent the whole story. It's just... Toxic. Just why is she so, so against it and just so... It's all denial too. Yeah. Toxic, toxic fucking mom.

Absolutely terrible. It's pretty bad. Yeah. And this is why I said, I don't think all parents have their best intentions for their children. I hear you on this one. A lot of other things came out after that statement.

Yeah. It didn't age well. Well, you have to understand that I look, as a parent, I look at it through my eyes. And I look at something, you know, why would I do that? And the only thing that I could say, I did it because obviously I wouldn't give my child

the chance to have what, quote, quote, normal hearing or normal life and be able to play with the other kids and hear the other kids and not have any issues with the other kids. Look, I was, you know, learning impaired, you know, as a child, and I got a snot kicked out of me every day

of elementary school. It wasn't the day I didn't get beaten up. And nobody wanted to see that for me, but I lived it. And so if I had a child that, you know, had some impairment and had some issues, I would do whatever I could. So they wouldn't.

Right. You know, the fact of the matter is that she was very comfortable to go to a school and actually learned, you know, the life of signing, that would have been better and that community is much more sweet. They're probably less hostile than normal kids because I remember that Morgan would go to school.

One time she went to school, she says, I don't want to go to school anymore. I don't like going to school. These people are horrible. Yeah. And she went through Mean Girls. And let me tell you, it wasn't fun. And they probably don't have that kind of lifestyle

in these other schools. So they don't, they don't live that, you know, that, that shallowness. I don't know. I think there's bullying in any community you live in, no matter what it is. I think it's probably true. If you're in a community of, you know,

same like-minded peers, same ability peers, you're, you're going to run into your own clicks and drama regardless. But I think it's just silly to not set your child up for success. And if you can put them in a community that, you know, similar like-minded peers where they can learn and thrive,

put them in that community. They're going to have to deal with the real world on a day-to-day basis. Why make their life and education any harder than it needs to be? Selfish. Yep. Yep.

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Let's go. She keeps kicking me. I think she's dreaming. Rolling right along. Okay, on to the next one. Am I the asshole for refusing to buy my daughter new bedsheets and blankets? My 54-year-old male, daughter, 16 female,

has some perfectly good bedsheets and blankets. My girlfriend, who I am engaged to, has started the process of moving into my house. She has a 14-year-old son and a 21-year-old daughter. Her 21-year-old daughter will only be staying over sometimes on weekends, but the rest of the time, she's away at college. However, this weekend,

she drove to her house from her college campus because she wanted to see her mom's new house. She initially was just going to stay for the afternoon, but afternoon turned into night and her mom didn't want her to make the hour-long drive back to campus when it was dark out. Her brother's room was all set up, but the room that we're converting from a guest bedroom

to her bedroom when she stays over is still under renovation because my girlfriend's daughter is still looking over catalogs and can't decide how she's going to decorate it. She goes into the guest bedroom and says the bed does not look comfortable and she'd rather sleep on the couch. My girlfriend says to her daughter

that she will not be sleeping on the couch. My daughter was at my mom's house for the weekend and she has a pretty comfortable bed, so I offered that bed up to my soon-to-be stepdaughter. She spends the rest of the night in the room and goes back to college in the morning. My daughter calls me into her room today and shows me the blood stains

all over her sheets and also on her blanket. My daughter angrily says the blood is, quote, like still wet in some areas. My girlfriend comes in and says, quote, oh, yep, I can smell it from here. I think I know what's going on. She shakes her head and says that her daughter hates wearing bottoms to bed

and that includes during her period. She apologizes to my daughter and says she'll speak to her daughter about it and leaves the room. My daughter says that this will be impossible to get out of white sheets and her blanket and said she always sleeps with a towel when she's on her period.

I tell my daughter that we shouldn't let our tempers run wild here and that she's done laundry before, so she can do it again and that her soon-to-be step-sister is family now, so there's nothing gross about it. My daughter asked me to take her to bed-bath and beyond for new sheets.

I didn't get why she was so grossed out because she was also a girl and I assumed desensitized to period blood. She also personally wiped up her mother's vomit and blood when she was sick, so I don't get why she couldn't clean her sheets just this once. This is an easy one.

Oh, God. Right? I mean, maybe. Somebody better be buying their daughter new sheets. It's simple. She doesn't have to go wash the sheets. Someone else do bedding to this kid.

Absolutely, but here's what OP says. So, I told her to just let it go and that I wasn't asking my girlfriend's daughter to come back just to do laundry when she stays over. She'll probably have a set of chores too. Am I the asshole? He doesn't want to buy her sheets.

Oh, no, he is the asshole. He's got to buy her new bedding, new sheets and also has to tell his girlfriend to please advise his daughter when she comes to bring her own sheets. Absolutely disgusting. Just because the whole comment too, like, oh, you're a woman.

You're desensitized to period blood. Right. What the fuck? You've known me for a few years. What would I have done in this case? There wouldn't even been a discussion. You wouldn't have let anyone sleep in my bed because you know how mad I would have been.

Well, I would never let anyone sleep in your bed anyways. True. I mean, it's your bed. You've asked once or twice. If you were gone for a month and I had guests and that was a guest room to me, I would certainly not use your sheets. I would get fresh sheets.

It would not involve you. But their skin cells are still shedding all over my mattress. That's gross. Through the mattress, pad and everything else? Yeah. And it would all be washed before you came back? That's why they say you need to get a new mattress

once every eight years. It's like when you go to a hotel. Yeah, but... I mean, you go to a hotel. I mean, everything's changed and it's fresh. I don't know. You want some random person sleeping in your bed? Do I want...

I mean, if I was out of town and I had guests or if I had guests and I was in town and they needed a nice room, I would give them my room and I would go sleep on the couch if I needed to or in the other bed. I wouldn't care. See, I do that for family. I've definitely done that for family.

I'll give you a wonderful example. My friend, Chris, and her sister are coming to town. And I know fully that I would say, here's my room, here's my bed. And I would get new bedding, new sheets and say, go to it. And I would feel nothing about it. And I would wash everything when they were gone

and return my thing. Yeah, but I think the whole free bleeding and not wearing bottoms to bed. Well, that's what... I mean, that... He was fucked up by Nat saying, immediately I'm going to fix it. Yeah.

It's his job to fix it. Dude's a fucking idiot. Absolutely. I can't even imagine. I would... I would be moving out. The level of disrespect. And just to be like...

I think there's a discussion that has to take place and be a responsible discussion. This dad's a fucking idiot. I don't think anything's going to go and stick in between those two years of his. Well, one can only hope that she can... that if they can have a decent, smart conversation, they can make progress.

True. I'm still a little confused, though, when they said you cleaned up your mom's... One has nothing to do with the other. Right, but... Yeah, I'm sure the mom was sick, cancer, and just trying to use it as an example of, like, she was comfortable doing that.

Why isn't she comfortable just cleaning the period she is? She shouldn't have to. It's very different, too. She shouldn't have to. Yeah. That girl should have made sure that place was returned. Look, I go to people's homes and I stay at their homes, and they give me a guest room.

I make sure before I leave in that morning that all those beds are stripped and everything's brought down to the laundry and it's ready to go into the washer. If I don't put it in the washer myself. Yeah. That's etiquette. Do you think she knew?

She had to have known. Yes. Oh, God, yes. You don't just wake up in a puddle of blood and not know. So she just used to, like, oh, I'm going to go sleep over at my friend's house and then just leave it? I don't, I guess.

I don't know. It's so disgusting. It is disgusting. I just can't even imagine, because you know if it leaked all over the bed in, like, a big puddle, you know it's on her and her legs and just bleh. So she definitely should have put a towel under her.

It certainly sounds a little bit like Friday the 13th. Let's... Yeah, it's really something. But yeah, he's the asshole. He definitely needs to buy her new sheets. Absolutely. 100%. Let's write him a letter.

Justin, are you ready for your happy one? Let me get it pulled up here. Okay. You're getting nice and ready. I'm not as familiar with the Reddit situation here. Okay. Let's hear what you got. So this came about just, you know,

scrolling through Reddit, taking notes from the GF over here. He's the master. Far from it. And I found one that when Morgan had the idea for this episode, I just couldn't not read this one. Okay.

I'm ready. So today I fucked up by telling my whole family that I was going to go jack off. This happened a bit over nine years ago. Oh, okay. It's still haunting him nine years later. Yeah.

Wait, this is... What was this? This is real? This is you? No. This is a story on Reddit. Okay. To give some background,

let's travel back to the fall of 2011. Enter 13-year-old me As the firstborn of two Christian old school parents, I was pretty sheltered as a kid, almost never allowed to play violent video games, or even watch PG-13 rated movies. Or play with himself. TV shows like The Simpsons and Family Guy

were off limits too. Time spent with friends outside of school was pretty limited, and I wasn't allowed to hang out with kids whom my parents saw as bad influences. I didn't have a ton of access to the internet, either, until I was 14 going on 15. So yeah, I was pretty sheltered,

and by the time I was 13, kids all around me were speaking a language I barely understood. Sex and dirty jokes. Yep. I was that kid in middle school that never caught any of the dirty jokes other kids tried telling.

So not only did this occasionally lead to some kids teasing me for my lack of knowledge, but it also led to me sometimes picking up new words or phrases and using them without fully knowing what they mean. Usually because I thought it sounded funny or I just wanted a new word, I don't know.

So that sometimes led to someone like a friend or one of my parents getting on to me for using a bad word that I didn't know was bad, nor the meaning of. While that happened a few times, this one was by far the most embarrassing. So there was a boy in my class in early eighth grade that would joke about jizzing in the bathroom.

Oh, no. Of course, the other kids would laugh or express disgust. I thought it was somewhat funny, but I didn't know what jizz really meant. I thought it was pee. I thought jizzing meant peeing. I ended up using that word a few times around my friends and they laughed.

So I thought it was just a funnier way to say pee. Fast forward to around early November of 2011. We're having a family get together at our house. My parents, sisters, grandparents, aunt and uncle, and a couple family friends were all in attendance. Oh, God, the whole family. He's at the table and let me guess, he's going to say, I have to go jizz.

We're all about to eat our food when I spring up from my chair to head to the bathroom real quick. My dad notices, says, we're about to eat. Where are you going? I turned around, smile, and in probably the most excited way possible, tell him, I'm going to go jizz. The room goes silent and now everyone,

the grandparents, the aunts and uncles, and friends alike are all staring at me. Most of them remain silent until my mom says something along the lines of, that's disgusting. Why the hell would you tell everyone that? Me being the confused, innocent, and socially awkward fucker I was, had no idea why mom was mad and everyone looked so shocked.

I ended up using the bathroom as I intended to and when I was done, my dad got up from the table and took me into the other room. At first, he seemed angry and asked me why I would tell the whole family that I was going to go do something like that. And I simply just got more confused and ended up telling him that I meant I was going to go pee.

Basically, my dad had to explain to me what jizz actually meant. I also didn't even know what masturbation meant either. Yes, I was that clueless. Dad was less mad after he knew I misunderstood the word, but we still ended up having a very awkward conversation along with me becoming super embarrassed upon realizing that basically I told the whole family

I was going to go play with myself. Well, after we get back to the dinner table, my dad takes it upon himself to explain what happened and the entire family proceeded to laugh. Oh, dear God, I wanted to disappear. It may have been a long time ago, but I'm sure this is my story that will bite me at some point in another family gathering.

His wedding. Yeah, that's what happened. God. The only experience that I can even compare to this that I find that was a cute experience is I had Taylor when he was eight years old and I came in. Taylor is my little brother, you guys.

And I walked, it was a Friday night, it was after cards and I walked in the house about 1130 and my son who's eight years old in front of the TV I have no idea if his mother was next door or if she was sleeping. I just know that he was in the living room by himself propped in front of the TV and on TV was porn, hardcore porn.

Yeah. And I'm thinking to myself, how do I walk in, address him with this, and not scare the shit out of him, not affecting for the rest of his life, but to deal with it. And so I quietly sat right behind him to his side. He did not even know I was there.

And I just very quietly just kind of tapped him on the shoulder. Oh, you weren't trying to scare him? And I said, what would mom think about this? God. And as fast as I did that, he's trying to change the channel. Yeah, I would too. God. And I was like, it's okay, son.

Just talk about this a second. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty young too to discover. Yeah, it was like eight or nine. To discover pay-per-view porn. And he certainly remembers the moment today. I still kid him about it. We still laugh about it.

I mean, it's a weird time when you're slowly figuring things out, mostly from the kids around you. I mean, I can certainly share stories about my family and things about what happened in my own personal experiences with sex. But then again, I would go back to disturbing Morgan with these conversations. So guys, forgive me, I have to bow out. I think my favorite part of the whole thing is the top comment here. They go, I remember a Thanksgiving when I was 15

and one of my little brothers was 13. The song jizz in my pants was quite popular. My brother and I thought it was pretty funny, but he certainly didn't know what it meant. I know this for sure because in the middle of my dinner, my brother exclaimed, Grandma, this dinner is so good. I just jizzed my pants.

My parents looked in shock and my grandma said, What? My brother started to repeat himself. My dad basically lunged across the table to cover his mouth while dying of laughter. Oh my gosh. There was a little lighthearted one to break up the seriousness here. Yeah, definitely.

Good job. You might just have to end on that note. It was pretty good. You just picture either being the person who didn't know or you picture you're at a Thanksgiving and there's someone younger than you and that happens. I would just die laughing. I couldn't even imagine being in the middle of that.

Kids say the funniest things. At least he wasn't actually going to the bathroom to jack off. He had the perfect excuse. He was a clueless kid. Right, right. So God, that's hilarious. That's cute. All right, what do you got for us?

So up next, am I the asshole for not giving my stepson half of my daughter's college fund? My stepson, 18 males, father was not involved in his life but said he had a college fund. He ended up changing his mind and kept the college fund for his new child. I don't have a college fund for him because I always assumed his father was pain like he said he was. When my stepson found out what happened, he and my wife want me to split from the money in my daughter's 17 female account. I refused because the money in there was a gift from my late wife's parents.

When I refused, they asked me to sell my daughter's rings. The thing is the ring was given from her mother for when she was supposed to get married, but she didn't live until then. I know it will crush my daughter's soul to sell it. My stepson and wife are saying it's favoritism and I do feel a little bad. Am I the asshole? I honestly don't think so. No.

Especially with the circumstance regarding where the money came from. It's not his money to give. It's just such a weird place to be because you have your wife and your stepchild now. It just feels so weird. Can you imagine having that come out of nowhere and they ask and I don't know. It just doesn't feel right. He is not the asshole. No, it definitely doesn't feel right.

It feels very manipulative. Oh, you're playing favoritism because he's your stepson. At the end of the day, I'm sure he, depending on how long the kid has been in his life, I'm sure he's been a great surrogate dad to this kid, but at the end of the day, this money isn't his to give away. Correct. It came from his wife in a different story. It was a different source of funds.

Yeah. The fact that if he wants to go out and sell his car or do something different on his own. He can sell his own shit all day. He can do that all day long. Yeah. It's up to him, but he's not allowed to take it from his daughter. That's hers. Uh-huh.

Your mark for it. He could certainly go to, I would certainly try to file a suit against the guy's, the kid's father. Yeah, especially if he... Because he made a commitment and a connoisseur to his son. Yeah. And because he decided to change that, that he can't do. That's where the problem lies in this whole thing. That's where the issue is.

That real dad is the obstacle. That's where the obstacle is. Yeah. And that is where, you know, remedy needs to come from. Because they were actually counting on that. They planned for it. It was committed to them. And he is now re-nigging on a commitment or a deal or a codicell.

Yep. So I don't know of it, you know, what the laws really are for something like this. Or I would seek retribution to solve the problem. Yeah, especially if the dad was doing that as a stipulation instead of child support. Hey, I'll put $500 a month in a college fund instead of child support. Because then you really have a case. Then it becomes legal real quick. And the kid could actually sue the father.

Yeah. Yeah. I think that's so messed up. But I think it's really, really fucked up the fact that like, okay, if he was safe keeping the ring just because the mom wasn't involved, that's one thing, but the mom died. She is no longer there. So that is the only like, you know, thing on her wedding day that she's going to have of her mom.

Like that's sentimental value. Yeah, you can't, you can't mess with that stuff. No. That's not even in the question. Like it's bad enough to just ask to split the money, but then to sell. No. Yeah. No.

There's student loans. I think if the stepmom wasn't preparing anything for her son at the end of the day, that's kind of on her as a parent. Like if he's already, you know, if his biological dad is already an absentee father and doing a shit job, why are you entrusting your kid's college career in him? True. It's a lot of faith you're putting in a deadbeat dad. True.

So I think, you know, take out some student loans or help your, your son finance college. I think there's other ways to go about it and go to community college first and get your generals done and then transfer or just do everything. Look, every, every child is different because again, we go back to circumstance. Circumstances change, but if anything that they have, anyone is the asshole. It is certainly the biological father and he's got the kids got some, uh, some claim against that father because he made, he made promises. Little bit, uh, little bit the stepmom though too.

Yeah. I think the stepmoms being a little toxic and qualify for, uh, the asshole. Well, yeah. I just wouldn't even feel, I, I wouldn't even think to, but just to be comfortable enough to even make that ask or even to think that so out of line, that you are owed that or that that's what's right. It's favoritism by you not splitting her money that was given not by you even as her dad, but by her grandparents.

Yeah. That's not your money to touch. So the top comment, not the asshole. You can't give away something that was given to your daughter by your late wife's parents. It's her money, nor should you be selling the rings again, not yours. Just because your current wife's ex-husband is an asshole. That doesn't mean your daughter should suffer. Yeah.

I think that's very, very, very well said. So this next comment, the idea that your wife and son feel entitled to something that belongs to your daughter is horrendous. It's not like you put the money in there. It is wrong to take from her because his father is a shitbag. Sounds a little bit to me like Cinderella. That's exactly what I was thinking. That's exactly it.

Yeah. They go on to say, co-sign for a loan if you're interested in helping your stepson hide the ring somewhere. Wifey and son can't get them. And remember, you're not the asshole. Don't let them guilt you into being a bad father. Yeah. That's just so many red flags going on.

I think wifey needs to be stomped on a little bit on this one. Yeah. Absolutely. She's crossing the line and being such a toxic bitch. That is not a nice stop. Very manipulative. Yeah. Very nice.

But let's say he did put the money in there. Where do you stand then? If who put the money in where they were. If he had put the money in for and built that college fund. I still say that if he put the money in for his daughter and that was the intent because this guy made a commitment, that was the deal. I agree. Even if it's not court of law worthy, if you can't press charges or sue the dad for keeping

the money. I think at the end of the day, there's a lot of people in this country that pay for college on their own. I did. I didn't really have a lot of help for college. If I told you guys what my student debt is, you'd probably puke, but it's six figures. Maybe you'll make some guesses. Maybe I'll put a post on Instagram and we can make some guesses.

But it's six figures. It's above 150K. I'll give you that, which it's really fucking bad and sad. I want to cry just thinking about it. But there's people that make sacrifices to afford their education. I'm unfortunately one of them. And so I think there's other ways to go to school and a lot of people do do it on their own.

And if the mom wants to help, then that's great. And if he wants to help, good for him. Kind of reminds me how everyone dips their hands in for inheritance and how just tumultuous it gets when things like that go down. Oh my God. Money. Money makes people do crazy, crazy things. This other comment I really appreciate.

Not the asshole. This, take the rings out of the house now. Too many posts where someone decided to sell behind the other's back. Your job is to protect your daughter. That money was left to her as were the rings. Help him take out a loan, support him in other ways, reach out to his side of the family. Believe your daughter's stuff alone. Yes.

Get a lock box somewhere. Yeah. Edit. Also make sure your wife does not have access to your daughter's account. Again, people do shitty things. It should not matter to her unless she is trying to access it. Yeah. Completely agree.

Yeah. People get crazy. Yeah. I could, I could see if she's already been emotionally manipulative. She'll, like I could just see her selling the rings and just, well, it was the right thing. It's just a slippery slope. It is really, really bad.

Well, I would hope she wouldn't do that. We all hope. Yeah. You really have a lot of faith in people, whereas I've read one too many Reddit stories. And I know that people are not, I think obviously we all have good in us, but there's some people out there that just don't care who they hurt in the process of getting what they want. Very true.

I've got one more, one more for us. Okay. So the next one, am I the asshole for telling my daughter to divorce her husband? Okay. I'm aware of the titles made me sound controlling, but please read the entire story so you understand where I'm coming from. My daughter, 26, is married to this terrible man. He does not work nor clean.

He just plays video games from the money I give my daughter. She's overworked and honestly, I think she should leave him. Every time I bring it up though, she says, it's not my business and it's going fine. I know it's not my business to meddle in their relationship, but to me, this is unacceptable. Well, last week was the last straw. She came to her home and overheard her husband say, he's only with her because he's waiting for me and my wife to die, to get an inheritance from my daughter. He also said he'll wait till he's drained it and then leave her.

She told me this because she wants me to pay for therapy to help him. I done with this utter bullshit, hence the Reddit username I chose. I told her she has to leave him. I don't feel bad one bit, but she keeps saying it isn't my place to meddle in her relationship. I told her she has to leave him because I won't give her an inheritance, knowing this man is going to waste it. She says, I'm an asshole and to stop controlling her life. Am I the asshole?

It's your money. No, you can do whatever you want with it. If you see someone, your daughter's an adult, she's 26. I think obviously you can help family at whatever age and I'm 27 and receive help from family, but if it's being abused and your help is not being appreciated and you know that someone is saying crazy things like this, no, cut them off. There are many ways of dealing with situations like that, but the bottom line is that he can simply just say, I'm not interested in putting you in my will.

There's ways of doing trust, that spin thrift trust that can be simply to support her needs of existence that he can't touch. There are many ways around the corner. She's still going to pull the money and help him though. The bottom line is no, she can't pull it. If he does a spin thrift trust, he can't get the money. It's simply about paying for food for her and that kind of thing. She has no control on being able to take it.

There's an executor that would he put in place to manage all this. Sounds like you need to go comment. Or he can just say, I'm not interested and he's not controlling it. She can stay married to him, but he can just cut her off financially. Even right now. I would. I obviously would. I'd cut her off.

I'd cut her off. Because he'd probably leave. And then the guy would leave. Or he'll get a job and he'll become a man. Not a chance. Yeah. Not a chance. I can only imagine being a parent to this situation, but I just feel bad for the girl

too. How blind to your current situation do you have to be to put up with something like this? Yeah. And then you overhear this conversation. I'm going to drain her. I'm only sticking around until he dies, blah, blah, blah. That's like a movie.

Yeah. But then your first thought is, I need to help him get therapy, not, I need to divorce this fucker. Because that's, I know. So what's wrong with the picture, huh? Yeah. Who knows? Maybe she's...

What's her username, by the way, since you mentioned that? His username? I believe, I don't... Oh, his username. No, they never mention male or female, so we don't know. But their username is utter bullshit, in my the asshole. I love it. Yeah.

I think you definitely got to cut him off and hope it's kind of like nipping in the butt. Hope he just disappears. Tough love. Yeah. That conversation's the nail in the coffin. Tough love. It's not about him supporting her.

They'll figure it out. One, two, three. Yeah. Well, it sounds like she has a job too because OP does mention she's overworked. So it sounds like she does have a job, but OP is probably helping support the husband and just sitting around doing nothing. It just sounds like one of those classic situations where, like, oh, I want to fix him. I want to help him.

I want to do this. But it's like, girl, get out there. There's so many... And I just feel like I've said this so many times, but there's so many people out there. There is. Where I've known people get out of those situations and then realize all of a sudden at the end when they thought that was all it ever would have been. Yeah.

Where they thought that was the best. That was all they were ever going to get. And then all of a sudden they're in a whole different world. Just it's sad. It is sad. And I think it's hard when you're in an emotionally abusive relationship, a physically abusive relationship, it's hard to look at anything else or get another perspective from it. I think you're just so enveloped in that relationship and what you think is love.

If the father quits giving money and she doesn't have enough to barely make it, she'll force him to go out and start working or she'll kick him out. That problem will fix itself. Yeah. So OP does give an edit. I can see your comments and I'm planning on cutting her off. So he leaves since a lot of people suggested it. That includes the inheritance.

I will stop paying her and we'll cut her out of the will to get rid of the leech. Like you guys said, I will be updating you all soon with a post. Beautiful. Top comment. Not the asshole. Tell the dude to his face that your daughter has been cut out of your will and that she will not. Yes.

A dime. Yes. Very quickly and do please present it as something that has been done, not as something that will be done. Love it. Yeah. I'm just going to peek real quick at his account and see if he did give an update. Well guys, there's no update.

Okay. Post. Post. Got any more? Are we going for one more? That's all I got. That's all she wrote. That's all they wrote.

You're off the hook. That's all she wrote. You made it. You survived. You know, and it was easy. Yeah, look at you. I probably wasn't as entertaining as they thought I would be for you because I really did put a cap on it a little bit because I got, you know, I got my, you know, my pee

pee slapped apparently in the very beginning that I say things that are like, you know, you know, way too off the wall. I mean, just using that saying, I got my pee pee slapped. I mean, you brought it, there you go. So I think the saying is I got my hand slapped. Is that what it is? I think so. Yeah.

That's the saying. I didn't feel like I got my hand slapped. Gross. Well, thanks guys for joining us on another episode of Two Hot Takes. There is going to be a deep dive story going on the Patreon account. And you know, at the beginning we mentioned family drama and a deep dive like in scuba diving. Yeah.

Basically a deep dive story where we get into it. So on the deep dive story, not only will you get to hear about family drama, but you'll get to witness a little bit of ours. So it'll be good. So tune into that. Check out our Patreon and look for some merch because that's going to be coming soon. So check out the Instagram for a sneak peek at some of that. So I'm glad you all, you know, love my daughter and Justin and that they're great peep peep,

you know, just who they are. It's not because of me. She's got a great mom. Yeah, but you did a lot despite us battling on today's episode. Apparently it was a lot of my misbehaviors. I definitely played its part. Yeah. All right.

Well, thanks for joining us. We had fun. Who do you think you are over there doing my side off? We're getting real comfortable over here. One episode in and he's taking the wheel. I'm your guest host. Well, feel free to tell me what you think of my dad and if we should invite him back or if it's a one time only offense.

Please do that. But until next time. Until next time. Until next time. Well, that's only if you vote me on or off. It's like survivor. Vote me off the couch. Bye guys.

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