Two Hot Takes - 167: Is it Really a Big Deal..?

Episode Date: May 23, 2024

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-hosts Lauren and Justin! This week's episode is all about determining if certain scenarios are a big deal or not. Putting family in a middle row at your wedding, using your shirt as your sauce tray, and getting waxed by your parents.. we really question it all. Can't wait to hear your thoughts and checkout YouTube for some polls! Medical Aid in Gaza! https://www.map.org.uk/ https://www.gofundme.com/f/CareForGaza MERCH IS HERE ! https://shop.twohottakes.com I can't wait to see you all in these, especially at our live shows!! Our PO Box!! Two Hot Takes. 5042 Wilshire BLVD. #470. Los Angeles, CA 90036 Bonus Content on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Our SubReddit to Submit YOUR Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes Partners: Heineken 0.0: https://bit.ly/TwoHotTakes00 Skims:  skims.com/tht Shopify:  shopify.com/tht Babbel:  babbel.com/tht

Hello friends. I just want to say thank you so so so much for so many of you coming out to our live shows. I'm home from tour and so ready to rest but it was amazing meeting you guys. And so sorry last week was late. If I'm ever super late just know it is for very very good reason. Last week as we were finishing up our tour I left Minnesota, forgot my ID, two and a half hours away from the airport. Then my pony got rushed to the emergency vet at the University of Minnesota.

Then when we were in Philly trying to get back to New York, it was cheaper to take an Uber than the train. So we took an Uber halfway to New York, and then we split up because it was too packed and uncomfortable, and I accidentally took an Uber back to Philly instead of the rest of the way to New York and then we split up because it was too packed and uncomfortable and I accidentally took an Uber back to Philly instead of the rest of the way to New York. So it's safe to say last week was chaotic. But here we are ready for a new week, a new episode and my problems are small in comparison to what else is going on in the world. As many

of you guys know, I am Jewish, but that doesn't take away my common sense or my human decency. And it's pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty freaking clear that what's going on right now is not okay. In the description of this episode, you'll find a link for a medical fund to support victims in Gaza. And I'm just thinking about everyone all around the world.

It feels heavy. And I hope everyone out there is doing okay, or the best they can. Thank you guys so much, and enjoy the episode. All right, is everyone ready down there? Good job. Really, you look like a kid that got in trouble. What were you doing? It looked like you were just looking at the time.

Yeah, why are you acting so odd? Are you going to cry? No. He looks goofy, right? Yeah, it looks like he just got caught like opening up a birthday present early. Or like someone looking at p*** and then you call him out and you're like, is that what you're doing on your watch? That is, yeah. What the heck?

Two different levels of... Oh yeah, you were like kid at a birthday party. your watch? That is, yeah. What the heck? Two different levels of... Oh yeah, you were like kid at a birthday party. I'm like, mmm, porn. Yeah, yeah, or porn. It was porn. Was it really? Yeah. I didn't know you could even get that on your watch. Watch porn.

On X, I forget that you can't, well, you can say Twitter, but on X, it's so weird because anytime I've gone on there, just for something random, I don't really ever look when I do. I swear the response to big tweets will be at least some type of porn. And I'm like, how? They're trying to get their money. You can post nudes on Twitter. Twitter was like the OG, like, OnlyFans promoter.

Yeah. Big. Wow. Twitter was like the OG like OnlyFans promoter. Yeah. Yeah. Big. Wow. Big. Nothing needs to be censored on there. Yeah. Didn't you see that one girl?

She raised like a couple million dollars for the Australia wildfires from like posting nudes on Twitter. Wow. No, I didn't know that. Yeah. I saw those. This sounds funny, but like when I was in college and I liked Twitter, I didn't have an iPhone for a while and I

had like a legit, like I would have to like text a number to tweet something. So I like couldn't like look at other people's tweets. Oh man. Hey, at least that's an option. So your flip phone friends could do it. You just really wanted to get your thoughts out there. You didn't care about others. So people with a flip phone can tweet. Yeah, that's cute. We can teach our grandparents how to tweet.

Yeah, but I mean, I would look at it when I was home. That's when Twitter was fun for me. Twitter was so fun. But somehow the nudes missed me. And so now whenever I randomly go back on there I get so shocked Just so shocked. So shocked the nudes are a vibe though He found some good ones on your watch just now maybe oh we didn't expect that but don't mind it Well, shall we get into this theme today? Yes. I wish you were gonna do one of those segues where it's like

get into this theme today. Yes. I wish you were going to do one of those segues where it's like perfectly in, and this is about nudes. Yeah. I don't have any about nudes, but you know, we do have, we have some that play into this. Like some people don't let their partner watch porn and they think it's a big deal. And there's some stuff we're facing today in these stories where we're going to question, is it actually a big deal? Okay. I like this segue.

Partners still watching porn. If you try and forbid them, they're definitely still doing it. You think so? Yeah. You just got to be over here, like, just watching. On the watch, on the Apple Watch. Okay. I don't know. I think some people are very adamant about not and actually don't, but I could be wrong.

I would agree with you. What world do you guys live in? Ours. Not reality. Our reality, not actual reality. Okay, let's dive in. dive in. This first one is coming from our very own tuhatakes subreddit. It is titled, entitled sister is upset I strategically seated her at my wedding to avoid capturing her breastfeeding moments on camera.

I 29 female just got married to my husband a week ago. My sister 31 female has a five month old baby and both were at the wedding. I don't really like my sister's personality and her partner broke up with her a few months ago because she allegedly was an exhibitionist, and our side of the family are starting to see why he left her. My sister would usually breastfeed openly in public, and although I don't have a problem with breastfeeding your child, I do think I'm not really tolerant of how she does it. Most women in my community will breastfeed in public too, but will ensure they move to

a more private spot, not the bathroom, or bring nursing covers, and I don't think it's sexist at all, because I see that as a courteous thing. Being as kind as I can about my sister, I think she likes to make a statement and challenge the status quo ever since she was a child. She's the type to flaunt about how she doesn't give a fuck what others think about her and how she acts in public. So yeah, she's got some issues of her own because I cannot imagine someone being this angry at the world for no good reason. Moving on to my wedding. I had a videographer panning the camera in the center of the aisle

as I walked down, which means guests would be in plain view. My sister doesn't carry bottles with her and she would start nursing whenever the baby needs to eat. I didn't want this captured on camera and wanted to avoid any possibility of that happening because aesthetics. So I situated her in one of the middle rows to ensure she's concealed either way. The rest of the family, including my cousins, were seated in the front row. I also requested the cameraman to avoid taking pictures of guests in case she's openly breastfeeding during the reception as well. My bridesmaids on the wedding day managed to handle my sister as I later got to know she threw a stink about feeling neglected and hardly any pictures captured with her and her baby. Apparently, she had been nursing, maybe also to calm the

baby down. Therefore, the camera guy hired requested her to step out of the frame several times. Not going to lie, this made me want to tip him a little extra. Ha ha. This has been a pattern of hers at several family events. She also has a two-year-old daughter who was present too. That's how we were able to discern this pattern from the past. and even some work events that she used to attend with her partner. All of us have made an effort in the past to communicate with her, but she gets argumentative and I didn't want to have to deal with that and her drama.

I don't care about being called prude. I don't want someone's photo slash video with their chest out on my wedding, regardless of context. Am I the asshole? No, I think that's fair. It is a little awkward though, the fact that you put her in the middle and everybody else was up front. But I understand though, I don't blame you, but like it is kind of awkward and not surprising that the sister has something to say about it. I don't think it's unfair though, given fact that like how many people now have child-free weddings where your

Your toddler and baby wouldn't even be in attendance. Mm-hmm. So no, that's what I'm saying Like I totally understand why she did it. Absolutely. I Given the context. Yeah, I absolutely Support that but I'm just saying it's not shocking that the sister has something to say because she's going to feel kind of ostracized. Is that an appropriate word to use in this? Okay. Sometimes I feel like big words. Now I'm like, they have other contexts and people are going to be like...

They do. Exhibitionist is a new one for me. For those that haven't heard the term exhibitionist, Urban Dictionary is giving the act of exposing personal parts such as the genitals, buttocks, and or breasts in a public setting that typically wouldn't allow such behavior. I've only heard like voyeurism. I think that's the one that you hear a lot is like people that get off on exposing themselves to people.

Flashing. Flashers. Yeah. get off on exposing themselves to people. Flashing. Flashers, yeah. So yeah, that could be a new one for a lot of you guys out there, because it was for me. But no, I think this is totally fair. I think the sister is acting entitled. It's like, you can't have your cake and eat it too.

You can't, you know, if someone wants a certain aesthetic for their wedding, that's like asking a bridesmaid to wear pink, maybe? Like, hey, please don't breastfeed in the front row. And like, it sounds like OP didn't even say no breastfeeding during the ceremony. She knew that she was going to breastfeed. She put her in the middle to avoid saying, hey, don't breastfeed at my wedding. Right. Which is like, that might be an unfair ask to some people.

Like, I can't control when my baby's Right. Which is like, that might be an unfair ask to some people. Like, I can't control when my baby's hungry. Of course. But also at the same time, your baby's hungry, maybe step out of the ceremony. Right. But also to some people, breastfeeding is not a big deal. Some people would be like, hey, breastfeed, it doesn't matter. Come up on stage.

Well, like, I've seen, didn't we have a Reddit story where one of the bridesmaids was the sister and she did say, hey, if my baby starts crying, I need to step down from being a bridesmaid and go breastfeed. Is that a thing when your kids are that young? Can't you have a bottle of it? Or how do you have to- Some people don't like pumping.

Some people like exclusively breastfeeding. I don't know what it's like to have a five month old. I don't know what it's like to have five month old. I don't know what the needs and what the procedure, like this is all gonna be a big learning experience for me. Is there an, I don't know, a ceremony, let's say it's a half an hour. In that half an hour, couldn't you just, is it possible that you could not,

you could guarantee that you will not be breastfeeding for 30 minutes. Is that possible or is it like baby cries you have to do at that moment? You know what I mean? From my understanding, granted there are some babies, I mean babies have a mind of their own, right? Like if that baby is hungry,

they're gonna scream their fucking head off. But like you could attempt to breastfeed before, right before the ceremony to then be like, okay, we should, we should, fingers crossed, be good for 30 minutes. Like some moms might do that. Sure. But- Well, and if that was-

There's no guarantees in the world of babies. If there was a conversation between the bride and the sister, Then I feel like if that was the thing that was set, nope, when my baby cries, I'm breastfeeding no matter what. Okay, cool. Well, then I'm going to put you in the middle. And I think that's justified because maybe so she wasn't so blindsided by the middle. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. That's what I was trying to say. So when I was saying like, she might feel ostracized and that's not shocking.

Also, I know what that word means. I just didn't, I didn't want to use it like, find out there was a new meaning to it with an urban dictionary, it's swang or something. Words do evolve over time. Exactly. They do. But no, I think that it's not shocking that,

I mean, I'm putting myself in that situation if I didn't know that my sister had these feelings and then I'm dead set in the middle of the entire wedding, whereas my entire family, my mom, my brother, my sisters, they're all the front row. I might be confused by that and then question that. Even though I totally understand what OP wants from her wedding and I respect that, especially giving the context that it sounds like her sister may have, you know, do these things to kind of get attention and push the limits and like maybe just want her boob to be out

in the camera and laugh at it or something. Whatever that's, whatever is going on, like I understand where OP is coming from, it's your wedding, you're paying for it, but like you also can't be surprised that your sister is going to come back with questions. No, and I do understand where you're coming from. I think a conversation probably would have been good, but I think OP avoided that because of the sister's track record. She has a two-year-old daughter. We've already been through this whole breastfeeding thing with that little one.

So I didn't have the conversation because I wanted to avoid all the drama. Yeah. And how many times do we get that where it's like, you try to have a simple conversation like, hey, don't wear white to my wedding. My mother-in-law freaked the fuck out and cut my dress. Like, whoa.

I haven't been a part of that one. That's me making it up. Oh, okay. But I'm sure there will be one eventually. People are just crazy. That's the thing. So it's like, do you avoid the drama and just do this this way

because you know her track record and how she is, or do you have a conversation and potentially open up the biggest can of worms? Yeah, that's so true. Honestly, if there's gonna be drama, I'd rather have it be after my wedding is over. Yeah. Right, because it seemed like there was no win.

But you do run the risk of at the wedding, having drama at the wedding. She's blindsided, and now she's freaking out that I'm in the middle. I'm not sitting in the fucking middle. I'm the sister. That's why you got your bridesmaids. So you have to like know your people

and really weigh those options. It's a fine line. It's interesting she wasn't a bridesmaid. Yeah. I mean, a lot of people don't... Some people don't have them anymore. Yeah. Like I know like my friend Jordan's got three sisters. She's really close with all of them. They would be bridesmaids. But like not everyone has their siblings in their wedding parties.

Like especially like if there's big age gaps or things like that. And I feel like people need to stop feeling pressured who they asked to be bridesmaids. Like just if you don't want your sister up there, that's okay. Like you don't need to because she's your sister. I don't even know if I'll have anybody up there at all. Do you just want to? Well, that's what I was going to say. Don't feel pressured to have put on this giant event either.

Like you see more and more people just doing it how they want and it's the coolest weddings you'll see. Yeah. I mean, obviously the vast majority are still gonna want, what they grew up seeing in movies, but I like the ones that are doing it a little different. Outside the norm. Yeah.

I do too. Should we get to the comments on this one? Top comment. I've never heard of a wedding where someone, at least one person, isn't upset about something. Weddings seem to be magnets for that. I've got a family wedding coming up in a few months and I'm just holding my breath. Yeah. Ain't that the truth?

That's what I've been saying. It's sad, but it's supposed to be so much happiness and it causes so much tension for so many people. It's impossible. I mean, you're bringing everyone together. Everyone that doesn't want to be together has to come together. There's just, there's no winning. It's going to be a good time. Ours is going to be really chill though, and spread out enough that if you hate someone's guts, go to the other end of the carnival. Getaway carnival? Yeah. You're going to have a carnival?

Yeah. That's at least the current phase. Wow. Current phase. Wait, like where, in Minnesota? Yeah, the farm. You're going to have like a pop-up carnival? Yeah. Oh my God, I'm so excited. Yeah. the farm. You're gonna have like a pop-up carnival? Yeah.

Oh my God, I'm so excited. Yeah, it's like hillbilly carnival. Ponies? Ponies, there's gonna be a camel. Sup. Ring toss, carnival games. Wow. A little ride or two.

I'm so pumped. Mosquitoes, flies, ticks. It's gonna be in September. Jesus, September. It's gonna be perfect weather. I thought we were naming everything that's gonna be there, so I just wanted. There won't be mosquitoes by the end of September. It's gonna be perfect weather. I thought we were naming everything that's gonna be there. So I just wanted-

There won't be mosquitoes by the end of September. It's gonna be totally fine, totally fine. It's gonna be so great. Have you ever been in Minnesota in September? Yeah, you just gotta get the bugs. If winter comes early, then sure. It's okay, we'll be in a tent too. So if you don't want the bugs, you stay in the tent.

No carnival games for you. Yeah, I want like a hillbilly. I want to be a carnie. I'm so pumped. I love this video. Wow. I'll run one of the games. That'd be fun. Yeah. The ring toss.

Genuinely actually so happy right now. Yeah, I'm so happy. I just want a party. Like I don't want the traditional, which not that there's anything wrong with it. I think it's beautiful, but I'm leaning towards eloping this fall and then having on our one year anniversary, the wedding. I love that.

Yeah. So that's where I'm at. Justin, I don't know where. Don't matter to me. We go back and forth every day, but he's just like. No, there's no back and forth. He's just like, do what you want. He's like, I don't care.

The back and forth is like over on you. There's no, none of this. Cause I go back and forth. I'm obsessed with Versailles. I love like the fancy French court looking stuff, but at the same time I want a carnival. So it's going to be an interesting blend between the two. Yeah, I love it.

You know, neon carnival, that party at Coachella, that's like a little inspiration, but Versailles. So I need a wedding planner. I need someone to help me take on this journey. Also, I just loved your, there's no back and forth because the other day I was talking to my friend and she kept saying we about like her and her partner. And I was thinking like, is he actually saying this stuff too? Or like, yeah, yeah. And then I made a comment and I was thinking like, is he actually saying this stuff too?

Or like, probably not. Yeah, yeah. And then I made a comment and I was like, oh, we, me and my partner actually want XYZ. And I was like, well, actually it's just, I want it. But he said he's down too. And she was like, yeah, yeah, that's what I'm referring to when I'm talking to you. He's just so chill. He's like, no, whatever makes you happy.

As long as I get to invite my people, like it's cool. But like, we know we're going to have drama. So Justin's like really just like not looking forward to it. So it's hard like having that boundary or not boundary, but like that have your cake and eat it too. You get what you want, but you also don't have family drama. And so we're, we're trying to sort how we, how we do everything.

Yeah. I'm looking forward to like referring to it in the past, like, oh yeah, at our wedding, we did this. Cause then it's just, you can also try to, I heard this once. I haven't necessarily practiced it, but I've heard how in therapy they kind of, there's been like a push to just really release all of this that we hold on to wanting all of our family members to be happy on certain occasions and wanting to fix things and to just really work on releasing that because it's like, okay, let's say that there's drama at your wedding. You guys don't have to solve it. It doesn't have to be your

problem. No, you're hosting the wedding. No, no, no. You have a good day. If your family members are acting up, that's on them. I am fully in the boat of we are gonna have some conversations before with both of our sides. We both got shit, both sides. This is about us, this is our day. If you cannot be there to support us, we understand. Like you don't have to come.

This is about us, we don't want drama. If we need to hire a babysitter for you, we will, but it's not about you on this day. Yeah, that's good. It's about us. So that's like where it's, I think he's also dreading that conversation. Morgan can take care of it.

Kidding. We each have to have the talks with our families. Every person deals with their family of origin for the smoothest results. So I've been told. We'll see, we'll report back. Yeah, let me know. Our families. Every person deals with their family of origin for the smoothest results. So I've been told. We'll see. We'll report back.

Yeah. Let me know. Let me know how that goes. I think it'll be fine though. You guys got this. It'll be fun. It's a carnival. It's going to be so fun.

Was that for Justin? Sorry. We can link it because then it's, yeah. So this is coming from a subreddit we have never talked about. It's r slash am I the asshole underscore would I be the asshole underscore public. Only 35k members currently. It's a good name. They're up and coming.

Mouthful, for sure. Would love to see that changed, but here we go. Am I the asshole for spilling mustard all over myself at a restaurant? Earlier today, my wife and I were eating out at a barbecue restaurant in our town. We don't eat at restaurants much since it's rather expensive. So this was sort of a special occasion for us.

I decided to order the chicken strips and fries with honey mustard sauce, and our food came out rather quickly. My wife had just started on the burger she ordered, and I was attempting to open the mustard container. It was one of those packages where you peel the lid back on the cup and then dip the chicken into it.

But the lid got stuck and wouldn't come off of the cup. I thought maybe that if I squeezed the cup hard enough, I could force the mustard out of the cup and onto my plate. The idea was sound, but it backfired spectacularly. Instead of the mustard shooting out of the cup and onto my plate, it shot up and all over me. I had honey mustard from the armpit to the waist all the way down the left side of my shirt.

I felt extremely shocked and embarrassed by this. So I started dipping my chicken tenders on my shirt. I didn't want to draw attention to myself because I thought I would be ridiculed. Instead of being ridiculed by the waitstaff, however, I was instead ridiculed by my wife. She told me that I was embarrassing her and acting ridiculous. but I reminded her that the honey mustard was still perfectly good and that trying to wipe it all up with napkins would only waste it. When I was done with my meal, I went into the bathroom to blot the rest with paper towels, but I still smelled like a

corndog all the way home. Worse still, my wife refused to speak to me. I assured her that I would simply throw the shirt into the garbage rather than try and clean it, but it didn't seem to help. My wife was determined to be mad at me. After getting home, I threw my shirt away and tried scrubbing the mustard smell off of me. I think I did a pretty good job, but my wife is still upset. I don't know what more I could have done. These sorts of things happen to everyone at some point. I tried an alternative way of extracting the mustard and it just didn't work out. I wish she could see my perspective sometimes.

So am I the asshole? I just love that he was embarrassed and so in order to be less embarrassed, he started eating it off of his shirt. What was that transition? I don't know. He was embarrassed and so in order to be less embarrassed, he started eating it off of his shirt. If I saw someone- What was that transition? I don't know. And like my first thought would be like, damn, I gotta clean this up so it doesn't drip down further.

Yeah. But I mean- It seems like it was an even spread. Like not a dripping kind of spread. It sounds like an explosion. Yeah. So maybe he's got multiple dip spots. Yeah.

This is a wild one. But like, is it that big of a deal? No. No, but I have a feeling, I have a feeling that he probably does stuff like this often and she was like, that's it, like done. I'm just, you're really just, you're pissing me off. You know what you're signing up for though.

You know what kind of person you sign up for. I'm all about this. I think the time I became the biggest fan was when he started doing it, dipping it on the shirt. Like that's a great idea. Yeah, I've done it. I'm gonna be honest, I've done it. I think everyone has at least like a little bit, you know,

at least like wipe it off your shirt and then lick it with your finger yeah oh god remember the do you guys remember the baby story yes when he thought it was mustard on his shoulder oh and he ate the baby poop and it was baby poop and he licked it off his shoulder and he was holding the baby in his hands and kind of uh or it was on his arm he licked it off something like that yeah glad i didn't know and kind of a... Or it was on his arm. He licked it off. Something like that. Licked off his arm, yeah. Glad I didn't know that one. Yeah, it was a recorded episode that we did like probably a year ago at this point.

Yeah. I don't think it's that big of a deal. I think you could have addressed it in the restaurant and been like, hey, babe, like not cool. Please go clean off. Like I'll open the next sauce packet for you. And then you're done. I mean, I understand that we only have his side. It did make a lot of sense that she was determined to be mad because we've all known doesn't like whether friend, partner, whoever, we've all dealt with someone that's like,

nope, I'm gonna be mad at you. And like, they don't say that, but they, you can just tell and no matter what you do going forward, they're just going to try and keep being mad, even if it's an act. Yeah, I wonder how accurate his writing is though, because I was thinking about it. I'm like, did she say something in the restaurant?

And he does say, she told me that I was embarrassing her and acting ridiculous. And then I reminded her that the honey mustard was still perfectly good. So it's like, it almost seems like he was just determined to just dip off his shirt. And then it's like, okay, that's kind of weird. Like if I saw someone dipping off their shirt

in a restaurant. I mean, you do it once or twice to be funny. I can maybe judge a little. You know, but I'm like, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Like there's a certain norm. funny. I maybe judge a little. You know, but I'm like, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Like there's a certain norm. Yeah, I think like behavior-wise. A reaction of that to eat it off of yourself

is funny in the first motion, but to just actually make a meal out of it, it's like, okay, that doesn't feel very sanitary. Well, now that I'm thinking about it, yeah, it's kind of gross. Like you're rubbing that chicken grease on your shirt. Your shirt, you've probably sweat it, sweat in your shirt like multiple times already.

You know, I mean, I do at least. Yeah. Shirt's goner no matter what. So. No, but I mean, now you're eating sweaty honey mustard. And like, fabric dye, laundry detergent, all the things. Yeah, we eat a bunch of bad stuff without knowing anyway.

Yeah, it's definitely not the worst thing. That's for sure. But I, it But to be in public and to have my partner just like continue to eat that way. The whole meal fries. Yeah, I think it would make me feel a little weird too. The first scoop, I would laugh. Let's laugh. Yeah, cause you'd be like, oh, whoops, still good.

Yeah, yeah, five second rule. But like if we're just sitting there at a restaurant and he just keeps going, then okay, yeah. Five second rule. But like if we're just sitting there at a restaurant and he just keeps going, then okay, yeah. I think I'm gonna go with you're the asshole for this one. Yeah, let's go with that. It's like a you're the asshole on- But it's funny. But it's not that deep.

It's not that deep. Not that deep, yeah. Top comment, you're the asshole. You should have asked the restaurant for a fresh mustard. Your wife will never step into that restaurant again, especially with you. You're the asshole for dipping your chicken on your shirt and not cleaning it up.

But the thing that got me was that you threw the shirt in the bin rather than washing it. That's just totally weird. Is it though? Cause that thing is, that's not coming clean after that chicken's hard to get out. Grease is hard to get out. Grease is just brutal. I just, I also hate throwing away things that are just not going to,

I hate throwing away things. It makes me feel bad. Anytime I throw away something like that, a shirt that's just completely ruined and stained and I'm like, I can't even bring this into a Goodwill or anything. It makes me feel bad because I just picture it on the landfill, just sitting there for like thousands of years. Yeah. Same. Just wish there needs to be better ways. It just goes to a sad song and a somber shot of Lauren's shirt sitting

as the other garbage is being dumped around it. It's just sitting there. Yeah, that one like sad dog commercial song, zooming in on different pieces of Lauren's items at the landfill. It's like, it's really hard for me to, like I like to, I don't know. I get what you're saying.

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Now you can. Click the link in the podcast description to buy now. Must be 21 plus to purchase. Please enjoy Heineken responsibly. Also, can we just take a minute for my tower I made? Look at this. Look at this beautiful tower. Let's do one more food one before we get off the topic of food. Yeah, because we're not hungry. Oh my god, I'm starving. It is titled, Am I the asshole for secretly eating takeout food my pregnant wife cannot eat because she has gestational diabetes. My wife, 34

female, and I, 35 male, have been married for 10 years and have been together for 15. She is 7 months pregnant and has gestational diabetes, which has been very hard on her, and by extension, very hard on me too and our relationship. Her doctor has strictly recommended she follows a strict diet and that means no sugar or high calorie foods such as Alfredo sauce or pizza and the likes. Naturally she has been very very upset because she has cravings but there's no way she can indulge. She has gotten sick of the alternatives suggested to her and would start sobbing sometimes when we go outside because she will see all of these food places

only to realize she cannot eat what she wants. I feel for her, I really do. Our relationship started to break down a little when she started taking her anger out at me. My offense? Ordering the things I like to eat, such as cookies, cheese, frozen snacks. We get groceries delivered to us, by the way.

She was extremely mad at me for being able to enjoy eating these things and made me feel guilty for eating stuff she craves. My breaking point was one time she angry cried over the fact I brought home a box of donuts I received from office on my birthday. I was sick of her behavior and the constant policing of my food intake in our home that I, in no uncertain terms, made it very clear that she cannot punish me for a health problem she has

and that this is my house too, and I will eat and drink whatever and whenever I please." We had a bad argument that day and I uttered divorce. That seemed to shake us both and we did a few sessions of marital counseling. To keep it short, our therapist held her accountable and shared that it was unfair to me to be at the receiving end of her emotional distress. However, she also emphasized that my wife is probably feeling unsupported too, and I could try to be a little bit more discreet and stick to making healthier meals together,

which would be great for both of us. Since my wife cannot make up for excess blood sugar she has by working out a lot, she is chubby and has bad knees, I can see why she feels helpless. As a solution, we decided to stock up the forbidden foods in the second fridge we have in the drawing room of our home that we use to store drinks and guest snacks.

It's better when reminders of the things she craves but can't eat are not there in the common fridge. This also means I can almost never order takeout at home, and sometimes I miss doing that while watching Netflix. I still miss having the occasional pasta dish at the Cheesecake Factory or McDonald's, so sometimes when I drive home from work, I eat in my car, keeping the therapist reminder triggers in mind. Because I know that my wife, knowing that I ate stuff she can't, will make her mad. Yesterday though, I took my wife on a long drive and she found a receipt for the Cheesecake Factory on the floor of my car. At the moment she

found it, she started sobbing and wouldn't talk to me. Okay, that's a little much. She is now pissed at me and feels like I have betrayed her. I think she is overreacting and I don't think I'm wrong since 80% of the meals I have in a week are with her. I try to have takeouts without her on Fridays mostly. I do not think I'm an asshole because my wife and I have an agreement that I will be discreet when I want to indulge in food I wanna eat.

So that she does not feel triggered every time. Am I the asshole? No, you've done more than enough already. Yeah. You go, sorry. I can't imagine what it's like to have this health problem. And I can get there maybe 5% having cut dairy completely out. And that was a big change for me. But it would be absolutely ridiculous for me to

then look at Morgan and be like, you're ordering pizza and you're going to eat that in front of me and you're going to get a milkshake. It's hard because I know then I would start to go crazy if I ate shit I didn't like every day. And I just, all I wanted was to eat what I used to eat and what everyone else can. And that would, I could see how that would boil over and you'd start to try and take some of that out on your partner. But at the end of the day, he's definitely not the asshole. And by finding some middle ground, you're working as a team, which is good. And also by having cheesecake on a random Friday

and the receipt just happened to be in your car, so be it. That's not a breakdown moment, that's fucking weird. I do think the reaction to finding a receipt from the Cheesecake Factory is a little unhinged. It's like it's a hotel receipt. I know, like she found out he was having an affair, like that level of like upset. I wonder if there's other things going on too,

because I mean, the story said that she's, what, seven months pregnant? Yes. So probably a combination of, you know, dealing with all types of health things going on is amplifying emotions. But at the end of the day, it's, you can't just like police what somebody is eating, even if they're your partner. I understand the sentiment of wanting them to support you like that and not eat certain things

that you're having such a hard time with having to avoid in your own home because the smells, especially if you're like making a pizza in the kitchen and then it smells to the entire house. And so I understand that aspect and it sounds like they found that good middle ground. You know, obviously he's already making a sacrifice for her and he's avoiding, you know, having his Netflix and and ordering takeout moments. So he's already making his sacrifices of things that he would normally do in order to have her feel more comfortable. And so I think the fact that he is now getting punished for eating it outside of the house, not in front of her, that's crossing the line. That's too much.

I understand the house, but like he can go to Cheesecake Factory for lunch during the week and like that shouldn't be an issue. Yeah. Does her being pregnant with their child like impact the context for you guys? Like, does that sway you anyway? Because like it's kind of the same with drinking. Like a lot of couples are, you know, if you like wine, one partner can't drink because

they're pregnant. And so the other one will not drink in solidarity. So it's almost like, does that impact it for you guys? Cause I'm going to be honest, like, I don't think he's necessarily, I don't think he's the asshole for what he's doing, but like, I feel like he's kind of the asshole for how he wrote it.

And that's something that came up when I had Shane from Smosh come on. He was like, we come up with this a lot of times when we read. And he was like, they're not the asshole for what they did, but they're the asshole for how they said it. Like when he was like, oh, well, she can't exercise for the excess blood sugar because she's chubby and has bad knees. Like that, that's kind of, I don't know, that's kind of interesting to add.

And like, also you don't necessarily, like why don't you just go like walk with her? Like walking is better than running, like in terms of benefits. So it's like, I get bad knees, but like let's get the girly some hokas and like, you know, start small, one lap around the block, and then maybe two.

Like, you know what I mean? It's just like, the way he wrote it was like, so, but like I get being at your wit's end. I mean, those roles from the Cheesecake Factory are fire. I feel like these posts are also an outlet a lot of the time. And so you really do need both people's write in and then have them come together

and write one together almost, because you're gonna get the extremes and you're also gonna get additional information that is maybe also just a release instead of it actually being totally relevant to the problem at hand. But no, I think pregnancy is a, it is a temporary thing. Yes, it gives you a child for life. But the, the fact of

like, I always said I'd be happy to not drink during those time, that time. And I think that's a, that would honestly be a healthy, good choice. Like it sounds kind of nice to try and challenge yourself to do that. We can rope you into nine months of no drinking with me. Yeah. The one, oh sorry, you go ahead Lauren. I was just going to say, I mean, I joke because you asked if that changes things. And I, yeah, I think there's more, I have more sympathy because she is carrying his baby. So it's like, let's do this together.

And the fact that this is something that she's going through temporarily, like this, you know, she it's not like she's setting these boundaries for the rest of their entire relationship, I think, then, you know, that does give a little bit more wiggle room. Because I've made jokes to my partner saying that he can't drink when I'm pregnant. But I mean, I don't really mean that. However, if we were to be sitting in our house every single night and he would be having like one of my favorite glasses of wine every single night,

no, that will not fly. Like that's a different story. Just like you're flaunting it in my face almost. Yeah. Which I understand, like you shouldn't be yelled at, you shouldn't be screamed at and like verbally emotionally abused for eating the food you want.

However, he goes, I was sick of her behavior and the constant policing of my food intake in our home. And that I, in no uncertain terms, made it very clear that she cannot punish me for a health problem she has. The health problem she has is because she's literally pregnant with your child. So that's where it's like, it's frustrating for me because it's like, I get it.

Like she has gestational diabetes as her body. She can't eat those things. You can. But at the same time, she's making a huge sacrifice for you guys to have a family and have your child. And the least you could do is like, try to eat healthier and like not like taunt her with a box of donuts because I'm the type like I cannot buy that stuff because I will eat.

Like there's no healthy balance for me. There's no self control. Like I don't buy certain things at the grocery store. Because yeah, I'm so like that too. Yeah. So if we're partnering up like and we're trying to be healthy, I'm trying to be healthy, then like you got to try to be healthy with me too, buddy. And he's just like, I wanna eat the things I wanna eat.

How do you think she fucking feels? She wants to see what she wants to eat, but she can't because she's pregnant, carrying a child for you guys, your child. And to be honest, at first, I wasn't realizing that this was temporary. I was thinking that this was like a diagnosis that she's going to have for the rest of her life. I have a lot to say now.

Yeah. And so with that being said, it does change things because if this was a boundary that she's setting for the rest of their lifetime, then it's like, okay, if he wants to go and get some dessert outside of the house, you gotta let him know. But to your point, it's like, if it's only for nine months, I guess we can kind of crack down on him. Yeah. And he can be on the same page as her. Yeah.

For most women, gestational diabetes does go away soon after delivery. Okay. That's what I'm finding per the CDC. Okay. So I think it's one of those things, like in the house, eat clean, hide your snacks in the secondary fridge. If you can't do that, you're kind of being a shitty partner.

She needs to understand that you going out and going to Cheesecake Factory, that's okay. If she's triggered to have an emotional breakdown from finding the receipt, that's- That's on her. That's a little much. And like, maybe you need to find some other positive coping strategies

for the remainder of your pregnancy. Right, exactly. I would completely agree with that. Final thoughts down there? Well, if I hadn't been a dummy and misconstrued that very small, but very huge detail, I think no matter what it is for nine months, you can suck it up.

And I think my- You hear that? My idea going into pregnancy is I'm, my bandwidth and my just patience and everything goes up to the max to where I don't think from also an issue as small as this in the grand scheme of things, the word divorce should never be uttered. where I don't think from also an issue as small as this in the grand scheme of things, the word divorce should never be uttered.

I think couples that start to throw in breakup or divorce, any couples that start to throw that into the mix with one argument, or maybe this is a string of arguments about the same thing, that is just, it's never a positive thing. And that's only going to doom you to failure because you can't throw that out like a carrot on a, or like a threat.

Oh, I hate that. It's like a break in the trust. Yeah. It is because then it's like, oh, okay. Well then if we have a big disagreement on X, Y, Z, are you just going to be done then too? Instead of, you know, the couples that we see 40th, 50th, 60th wedding anniversary, they're able to take those big arguments and it's not, oh, it's we're splitting up. Yes,

get divorced if it makes sense. And if it's, if that's the best choice, but in this case, just throwing it out as a threat, that's not how you make it to long, the long run. And it's like, I forgot about that. If it's nine months, I know, me too. It's huge. You could probably benefit from eating a little healthier for nine months.

Yeah, it doesn't sound like he necessarily eats the best. So try it out. Any Italian dish is like, look at what's on the menu and add two sticks of butter. Cause that's what's in there. I know, especially from a restaurant. So good though, fuck. So I'm still staying on the, you shouldn't freak out about what's eaten outside. I know, especially from a restaurant. So good though, fuck. So I'm still staying on the,

you shouldn't freak out about what's eaten outside of the house. Yeah. But on against him, I would say deal with it for nine months, be there to support her and everything in any way. Cause shit's gonna get a little crazy. Yeah. It just is.

For some people doesn't. A kid now. Somehow and they're normal and just everything, like nothing changed the whole time they're pregnant. And other people, it's the extreme opposite. Yeah, World War III. I'm ready to go into it with the biggest open mind there is because it's temporary and we get through it and we work through it together.

This completely changed for me when I realized the detail. I know, I can't believe we both missed that. I think we should just redo this story and have me just have better answers. No, this is great. Well, we do have an edit to you guys. Bop bop bop. Bop bop bop bong.

There's still resentment I have against her for ruining my birthday. Basically, the gift I got from my wife that day was her yelling at me and me uttering divorce and ending the night in tears. I still hate her for it. For creating a bad memory, I likely won't be able to erase, but I am working on it. I feel the same way too when I read what I wrote. I do not want to hate her, but I do. I still cry thinking about how we fought for something seemingly innocent and I feel so wronged that no one sees that this was unfair and borderline abusive for me.

To be at the receiving end of this as a spouse because I happen to be a husband in this dynamic? I am not sure about therapy for this, but I grew up poor and food insecurity was a big part of my childhood. It makes me feel pretty shitty that now that I have the means to provide for myself, I cannot do what I want. But no one sees my trauma and why I want to be able to make my own decisions too. And even if I didn't have this trauma, I shouldn't need a reason to act with autonomy as long as I am supportive of her and being considerate about her food issues, which I positively have acknowledged in therapy with her and am doing my part, even though I and our therapist

agreed that her initial demands were ridiculous. I was made to feel like a horrible, horrible person for simply bringing a box of donuts my coworkers got me on my birthday when there was no malice involved, no bad intentions, no desire to rub it in her face or whatever the rest of the world calls it. I regretted being a married man that day, and I wished I had never met her. I have never let anyone bring my self-esteem down in the way my wife did. I have never given anyone else the power to hurt me like she did, and I want to take it away.

No one has ever made me feel like a criminal for eating a donut and storing the rest in the fridge inside the house I own too. I mean, honestly, the birthday donut thing was pretty bad. Like it's his birthday, come on. But he's responding like she went and killed his whole family. But it is interesting how much,

I need to know more about her reaction with the birthday donuts. Was it literally like her sobbing, crying, stomping her feet in a tantrum, throwing the box, how dare you, you're terrible, you're the worst person, how could you ever do this to me, you're so bad, you're such an unsupportive partner, all for bringing donuts home? Well, that's what he's making it sound like. That was that.

It's the end of the world. He said it was borderline abuse. And I'm just trying to picture too, like if I came home from work on my actual birthday with donuts and if my partner started like berating me instead of just being like happy birthday you know that would really really hurt me too so happy birthday can you please can you please get those away from me yeah but also like it's a birthday, it's a birthday. Yeah, it's a birthday. You gotta expect treats. Yeah, I just... This is, this must be so hard on her. I get like, I get, exactly, that's what I'm thinking of, because I'm like, I get like, you know, huge cravings too. Like, I get huge cravings too, specifically when, like I was saying, if there's an oven on and you smell the pizza and it just like makes the entire place smell really delicious.

But like just to have somebody bring in donuts in front of me and then for me to freak out, like those sound like either really intense cravings or maybe she's just associated anything with him bringing in, you know, treats or things she can't have with such intense feelings around it, even if she's not actually experiencing the cravings. They both need to just chill out.

They definitely need to continue with couples therapy regularly. Like none of this needed to go to 100. No. This is not zero to 100 type of things. It's all temporary. Yeah. I think OP is dealing with a lot of deep, deep feelings

that probably stem from childhood though, to like, I hate her for this. And then to be like, I've never let anyone bring my self-esteem down in the way my wife did. I've never given anyone else the power to hurt me like she did. That is a relationship.

Like having a long-term relationship, you are giving that person the power to hurt you. That's what love is. You're trusting someone with your heart, your confidence, your trust. Just a lifelong punching bag. No. Jesus Christ, Justin. Well, that's what he would call it. Well, if they've been together, it doesn't sound, I mean, OP said that they've been together for 15 years, married for 10. And is this their first child? I mean, it doesn't matter.

It sounds like it. But yeah, it's like they've clearly been with each other and been able to, I mean, you never know. You never know if there's fights involved, but it doesn't sound like there was issues prior. So it does seem like this is something that should be more temporary and emotions are extremely high on both ends. And they're both, they're taking out on a surface level, such deep rooted feelings that they're both individually

experiencing that are so opposite from each other. This one's crazy. I cannot wait to hear your guys' thoughts on it. Those listening, please comment on the Instagram post, the YouTube comments, because even the comments on the original post are kind of split too. Are you the asshole for occasionally eating fast food away from home that your wife doesn't know about?

No, you are the asshole for literally every single other thing you wrote in this post. Like, what do you mean you still hate her? Yeah, that's very concerning. Next comment, because baby boy's birthday was ruined by his own choices. I don't necessarily agree with that. He got a box of donuts from his colleagues at work.

That's a very nice gesture. What is he going to do? Leave him at his desk? Baby boy's birthday was ruined by his own choices. That's very condescending. You're really invalidating him there. Because he is also entitled to having a good birthday. She didn't need to freak out in the way she might have.

It could have been, hey, love you, please go hide those donuts away from me. I can't have them in front of my face. I will eat them. And then it would have been done. Like they're both at fault here. And also it's a birth, like, I don't know. So please, please, please chime in on this one. I feel like for me, I'm kind of in the boat

of everyone sucks here. I think that's where I would stand overall after. They just start working together. They gotta start working together. Yeah, I feel they both need to address some issues in a big way. Food insecurity, really, that's a hard one to deal with. Like money, like growing up without money and without food,

like that can create a lot of issues down the road. I have a really, really bad relationship with money. So like, I get that and like- Well, it's not to be taken out in your partner. No. That's where therapy comes in. So hopefully they can actually get down to the root of all this. Yeah, I hope so too.

We'll look for updates. He deleted his account, so we'll see if we get one down the line. Maybe it was the baby boy comment. Yeah, it's, I don't know. Yeah. It's interesting because I'm almost like no one sucks and everyone sucks, you know? It's a tough one. It's, this is, this is one where it's not so clear. Maybe to us at least.

Yeah, because I am very adamant about the partner who's like you're sharing a baby and only one person is carrying that baby and going through a lot of changes. So I'm so adamant about the partner being right next to that. You know, the person carrying the baby and just rooting them on and doing whatever they can to make them feel supported and secure. So with that context involved, but then at the same time, you also have to be reasonable. So it's just, it's a mess. It's a mess. Yeah. Okay, moving along.

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available in sizes extra, extra small to 4X. And if you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. Thank you. Okay, this next one. I haven't I actually haven't read a lot of these today, but this one I haven't read a single thing the title alone. I It's gonna throw us through the the ringer. Okay, it is 23 hours old coming from a it Ah, it is titled. Am I the Asshole, who am I kidding? I am definitely the asshole for sleeping with my ex-fiance's affair baby 23 years later. Look at that age gap.

That is wild. Whoa. I am a 45 year old guy, single, no kids, all names are fake. Okay, here's the short version. About 24 years ago, my then fiance, Ella, then 20, told me she was pregnant. I was over the moon.

We did not set a wedding date yet, but now we wanted to wait till the child was two to three to be a part of the wedding party. When she was about 7 months pregnant, my world shattered. A friend, let's call him Luke, told me that the child was his and not mine. This led to a physical fight and Ella took his side. We were done. I broke up with her, then and there. She moved in with Luke. I did demand a paternity test. If the child was mine, I demanded to be in its life. After the birth of the girl, the test was done twice, by a clinic I chose and

one she chose. Turned out, she was not mine. I was destroyed and left town. She could have her life. I didn't want to witness it. And now to the present. A month ago, my work brought me back to my hometown temporarily for two weeks. I ran into Ella and her daughter, Nikki, 23, at an impromptu school reunion. Ella wanted to catch up. I wasn't angry anymore, but also did not see the point of being friends. I declined and mingled. After a while, I sat at a table nursing a drink. Ella had already left, and Nikki sat down at my table.

She asked for 10 minutes to talk. She knew about my history with her mother, and it was clear that she resented her mother. Because... Luke was also not her bio dad. Ella cheated on me with at least two people. 23andMe revealed the real bio dad. He had passed away already. When Nikki was seven, Luke found out and kicked them out. And it became the scandal.

Nikki was bullied her whole life for being the affair baby. Luke's family disowned her. All of the cousins she was close with were gone all of a sudden. She blamed her mother. I asked her why she told me all of this. She said that I am someone who would understand this betrayal, and she is a product of that betrayal. She does not expect anything from me, she just needed someone to talk to that would understand. I felt for this kid, so we kept talking. We exchanged contact info and went our own ways. Next day, she wanted to talk more, to vent more. So we met in the bar of the hotel

I was staying in. We had drinks and she ranted about her life. We talked until late and when the bar closed, Nikki was too drunk to drive home. And since I didn't know where she lived, I couldn't even get her an Uber. So I took her to my room. I have the habit of always getting a room with twin beds. So she slept in one bed and I slept in the other. Nothing happened. The next morning we had breakfast and she left while I went to work. A few nights later I met Nikki in the bar because she had a lot to rant about.

We also talked about her future and she expressed interest to move out of town to escape the stigma of being the affair baby. Here is where I am the asshole. I made a move on her one night. At first she walked away. I thought I blew it, so I went up to my room. An hour later she sent me a text asking if I was in my room. As soon as I answered with yes, she knocked on the door. I was sober, she was sober, I had time to think.

I could have sent her away, but I didn't. This is the daughter of my ex-fiance. If I had never found out Ella cheated, I would have raised Nikki as my own daughter. But I found out and Nikki is not my daughter. I never saw her as a baby, never saw her grow up. I never saw her as a daughter. The first time I saw her was a week ago.

So yes, I slept with her and then again. And then again, and then again. Nikki is more vengeful than I am. She said she wanted to let her mother know, but she wasn't going to do it if I didn't want to. I was okay with letting her know. It took a little convincing in how we would let her know. We took a picture together, clearly in bed,

clearly naked, but covered by sheets. Oh my God. And she said it as a one-time view, pictured her mother via Instagram message with the caption, I can finally call him daddy. Ah! No. Ella called and they got in a fight.

Then she got in a fight with me, still over the phone. I thought I was over the betrayal, but it seems like I had bottled up everything and now it finally came out. I had four more days there and Nikki stayed in my hotel room those four days. Now I'm back home. Nikki is currently packing everything.

She's going to move to another country to be away from her toxic environment. She will stay with me for a week, maybe more before she flies away. She is going no contact with her mother. I have also blocked Ella on everything. Yes, Nikki and I are both broken. I refused therapy for years,

but after that one outburst where I told Ella everything that was bottled up, I've decided that I do need therapy. I have suggested it to Nikki. She said that when she is settled, she will. I'm not even going to ask if I'm the asshole. I know I am. But what do we think? Do we think asshole?

Or is this sweet revenge to consenting adults? Let Lauren go. Let's go Lauren. I don't like it. I don't like it because you were mature enough to decide to get married and plan a life with somebody while this kid was a fetus. Like I know that you didn't see her as a baby

and you didn't raise her, but something about it just feels so off to me. And yes, technically you guys are totally clear legally. I mean, you guys are both adults. You don't share any DNA. You guys are in the clear, but it feels so off to me. And clearly he understands that it also is is off a little twisted. Yeah Yeah What are your thoughts Justin? I will say I like the shock value and the little bit of revenge and putting

You know ellen replace a little bit like here. Guess what? Ha ha. Because these two, it feels like these two, this is almost a big release is still a weird word for it, but this is a big, like, it feels like a weight off them that they're like, I got my shot and now she's moving away and he, who knows? But regardless of all that, it's weird when you are writing a post in here and you reference someone as a kid. And then a few cents later, you're like, yeah, we slept together. Yeah. That's a little interesting.

I know. See, that's just, I mean, I don't love the dynamic. I don't love the circumstance of them getting together. But I'm not mad at the fact of revenge. It's just how revenge was taken. Yeah. I do see this honestly being closure for both of them. As fucked up and weird as that is, like this is how you get closure.

But I honestly could see this being what they needed for closure. Yeah. And you'd hope so. I think that because, and again, everyone does mature at different ages, but because she's so young and vulnerable and she's gone through so much trauma and she's had so much shift in her very young years of life. And not to say that he hasn't gone through trauma too,

because clearly he was also at the end of, you know, being betrayed by the same woman, moments up to his wedding day. So, but just the fact that she went all like through this at such a young age and she is still young, it just makes me feel like she was, she was too vulnerable for- To really understand the gravity of the situation. Yeah. I agree. And so I think that's the part that gets me, because she was confiding in him. It almost reminds me of, what's it called?

The Georgia movie, Georgia rules with Lindsay Lohan. If you remember like Lindsay Lohan, like her character, she makes a move at this older guy. And the guy was like, you are so attractive. Don't get me wrong. You're definitely tempting. I know what you're like trying to do, but I will, I'm not going to be that person because she's historically had these men that have basically taken advantage of her. And so she, that was like kind of her way of taking back control almost. Okay. And so it's like, that's what I would have hoped for is that this guy was just like,

we are adults and you are attractive, but I, I, I think that you've gone through too much and I don't want to be on that end of things to make anything worse for you. Yeah. But you could be right. Maybe it is the closure that they need. It's really hard. Human, human like, we're so complicated. We're complicated little things. Where do we think the comments are gonna go on this one? I actually don't know.

I feel mixed, but the other part too, is it was all so weird in the justification for doing so, that it's like, well, if she had been mine, I would have raised this girl right here as my daughter. And then to flip it really quick. And I get the point that I was being trying to make, trying to be made. But at the same time, it's a little bit still in that,

like you still just referenced her as a kid category. And then the next sentence is, so we slept together. It's just, it's a weird dynamic for sure. I think he was really trying to draw like, I did not ever meet her. I didn't know her. I didn't raise her. You know, someone else did. She's not mine. But it's just weird the different timelines. Like, oh, in one timeline, she would have been my daughter. In another timeline, we're sleeping together. Just interesting, yeah. Very.

So the top comment, apparently OP had a typo. After a while I sat at a table, neutering a drink. What did you do to your drink? What is that? Nurturing a drink? Nursing. Nursing a drink, yeah. Next comment down, cut its balls off.

No one's answering the actual thing here. Dear Penthouse Forum, I never thought I'd write a letter like this. I always thought the ones I read in the magazines were fake, but... This would take a tragic illegal turn if the paternity test got it wrong. Oh God. Holy shit. Would be a hell of an update post. Yeah. I'm not seeing many comments like addressing the actual post, which I find very interesting

because usually people would just like sink their teeth into this one and really, you're the asshole or you're not the asshole. Because he already said he was. Really embracing that? Yeah. Let me search not the asshole, see if we have anything. None found. You know, towards the bottom, people do start to get back on track.

Yeah, you're a total creep. It's a lot. I don't like it. I think it's kind of weird, but I don't think, I hate the age gap. We all know I don't like those. But technically, technically, did they do anything wrong? That's a question we're also going to put to the people today. Like legally?

Legally? No. Technically? Morally? That's a question we're also going to put to the people today. Like legally? Legally? No. Technically? Morally? Technically there's better choices. Ethically? Ethically there's better choices.

Because I also do believe that people like Ella that do these things in life, I do feel like they carry forward with them a lot of baggage and a lot of weight that they deal with internally. And then you, the people that got burned along the way are like revenge, revenge, I gotta make them feel it because they never appear to show that they've ever felt it. Oh, they just get to keep jumping from person to person and they leave behind a bunch of hurt people and whatever. They feel like they never carry that with them.

I feel like a lot of people that do go through things like this in her position, feel that weight and carry that forward with them. I don't feel like they're just running forward. I think there's regret. I think there's embarrassment. There's something, there's a lot of emotions they carry forward, but don't reveal because then they're showing that they made the wrong choice or whatever, where you see a lot of people saying, no, I made the right choice and I'm gonna prove it

even if I hate it, I'm gonna prove that I made the right choice. That is true. I'm happy and everything's good. Well, and I think like taking what you're saying into consideration and Lauren's thought where Lauren was like, I just wish he would have been like, you know, you're really attractive. I you know, I would love to.

However, you know, it's just inappropriate. If he would have been more of that, you can vent to me. I'm hurt, you're hurt. But like, let's move past this in a bigger way together. Like we let's be friends, like let's remain friends. Like, let's be friends. Like, let's remain friends. But I don't think we should go down that road. I think it probably would have been healthier for her in the long run to lead into what you're saying.

10 years down the road, is she gonna regret this? Because we've had some confessions for some of the live shows where someone wrote in, they were like, I had sex with my boss at 23. He was 35 or whatever the numbers were. And I really, really regret it now that I'm 30. I didn't mean Nikki regretting. I was talking about Ella.

Yeah. I was talking about how she doesn't necessarily need that punch and that revenge hit. Because she's already. Because she's already carrying all that forward with her. I was interpreting as what you're saying as like Nikki would, you know, she's only 23 and maybe grow to realize.

But I'm just saying on the topic of revenge. Yeah. It's not like Ella skating forward free with. She didn't get off easy. Yeah. And I honestly think in situations like this too, I think sometimes the person might feel like Ella may not feel like she's worthy of love or she's worthy of stability. And that's why she almost spirals out of control and is jumping from guy to guy. I mean, we don't know.

Like maybe she is just a like serial cheater. Or maybe it was a one time affair. And doesn't give her mores. Or maybe it is, well, no, cause there was a second one, remember. But like one in a timeframe. Isolated instance, yeah. But yeah, but you don't, we don't, to your point,

we don't really know exactly what she's going through. And we don't really, it's not on, it's not on them to give her their revenge or her revenge and maybe it felt good in the moment but it probably was there probably were better moves that they could have made yeah i mean they clearly don't have regrets as of now right because they're meeting up for a couple weeks i mean i think that's just him trying to be supportive well and that's what i would have loved to see I would have loved if he would have came in and been like, you know, you don't have a father figure.

I'll be your mentor. I'll be your father figure. And then really draw a boundary there. There's no, you know, a father figure. Clearly that like is something that it sounds like she would like. Yeah, she feels like she got robbed of. She needs something. And I do think in a weird way, like, this

is daddy issues, daddy issues air quotes coming through, like, you decided to sleep with the one guy that like your mom was about to marry and would have been your dad. Like, if you look at it from that perspective, we kind of get down a weird rabbit hole. There's some comments from OP, nothing, nothing really to write home about, just kind of defending themselves to the commenters. Someone does say, you're going to hell, and OP responds, only applies to people that believe in God, so I'm good. Some other comment from him, I don't disagree on the loser part.

Basically someone called OP a loser. Why do you think I was drunk on a Sunday posting on Reddit? I wasn't looking for revenge, but when it came my way, I took it. You are so lucky that your ex from your 20s didn't break you completely. Some of us aren't that lucky. So two people who are very, very clearly hurting and need therapy. Which now after this experience, he is pursuing. But yeah, I think you're the asshole. I think it could have gone a lot better

and you could have still had that revenge because I think like if you did become an actual father figure or like a friend to Nikki, that would also hurt mom just as much. But again, like do you need to hurt people? If she was a good mom, hopefully it wouldn't. Hopefully she's not pregnant. God, can you imagine?

The cycle restarts. Oh my God. That would be so weird. Wow, and all of a sudden his ex fiance is his child's grandma. Dude. Dude. I can't. I can't wrap my head around this. We're moving along. We gotta go. We gotta go before it gets scarier.

Another one of this week's partners is Shopify. Cha-ching! When I started this podcast, I never thought merch would even be a thing. And as someone that has no background in having a small business or doing online sales, I was out of my depth trying to come up with merch and how the heck to get it to you guys, which is why I'm so thankful for Shopify.

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Is it weird to have your parents wax your nether regions? In other words, is it weird to have your parents wax your genitals? Mm-hmm, yeah. Yes, it is actually. I can't think of any context and where that wouldn't be. Well, hi, your Reddit. Hope you all are doing well.

I'm in a little bit of a pickle as I don't know if this is weird or not. Basically, I have this friend, let's call her Emily. She's been a really close friend of mine for the last few years while being at uni. We're both 22 female. We get along really well and she seems sane. However, I just found out she does something

which has made me question if this is normal. A little thing to know about Emily is that her mom owns a waxing business. It's fairly small, but not struggling. Anyways, I was chatting to Emily about a date I had been on and how it had gone well. It's the first guy I've spoken to since my ex who I've clicked with. I was really excited about our next date, our fourth one, and was saying Emily how I was thinking we were going to be intimate. Our last date had a lot of chemistry, and there was a lot of touching, kissing, and flirting, but we wanted to take

things slow. I was saying about potentially going in for a wax. I haven't had one, but I have heard a lot of good reviews. She said I should definitely, and that she'll get her mom to do it for me at a mate's rate. I said that I appreciate the offer and all, but I think it might be weird having her mom all up in my hoo-ha. She said it's not weird. She gets her mom to do it for her every month. When I say I was silent for a solid three minutes, I am not lying. She kept trying to justify by saying,

it's her mom and she's seen it all before and why would she go elsewhere and pay when her mom does it for free? But the thought of my parents getting all up and personal when I'm a grown woman is maddening to me. Like, is this normal? Well, anyways, I said I would think about it and left. I just want to know if A. I should go to her mom for the wax and B. There's a bigger

issue at hand. Is it normal that a 22 year old woman had her mom waxing her vagina? I would love some opinions on this as I genuinely don't know. Also, the thought of using the mom's waxing will be appreciated as there is a little bit of a time crunch too, as my next date is on Saturday. I mean, I find it odd, but if it works for them, or if it works for the daughter, then I guess there's no harm. It's not harming anyone else.

Oh my God, the thought of like, can you imagine your mom like pulling apart your lips? No, I don't like that. And getting that wax in there and like, oh, I couldn't do it. It couldn't be me. That level of comfort with your parent, that's something. It is something.

I don't think you should be afraid to go to your friend's mom's place though. Like I think that's- That's enough separation. Yeah. Yeah, it is for other people, but even so I still, I like to go to strangers if I'm gonna do anything like-

Get your discount though. It's not that big of a deal. And it's true. She has seen it all. Anytime you go to like any doctor and you're stripping down, they've seen everything under the sun. Yeah.

And you're just another number in their list that they gotta get through that day. Well, and there's a certain level of professionalism, right? You're not being sexualized. You shouldn't be when you go to these places. But waxing is... I just think that there leaves more room to not be professional. Like you're all sitting at dinner and having a dinner conversation is I just think that there leaves more room

to not be professional. Like you're all sitting at dinner and having a dinner conversation and then all of a sudden the mom is just like, oh yeah, because you have a whatever shaped vagina. And like, do you know what I mean? I would be shocked. You'd hope that that doesn't happen,

but I just, I think I would feel better about going to like a friend's parent as a gynecologist because that's like Your medical license is on the line But like wax like I would just feel uncomfortable if they ever didn't really understand that what my boundaries are Yeah, I mean, yeah, I don't know what they could really say though. What like really what could they say? I don't know. She could go back to her daughter and be like your friend has an Audi not an any Cool. That's a fact of life, yep. Some people might be upset with that though.

Yeah, sure, but it's also, it's within comfortable territory, I don't know. Let's get to the real story here. Yeah. Which, yeah, it's not my vibe. I'm curious if you sampled a million people and said, how many of you would have your parents? Well in this case, you know, it's same-sex parent. I don't regardless how many would be down with this

I'm curious what the numbers would show guess what we're gonna do Put it to the people on YouTube this month or like this episode Are you gonna phrase it more like do you think this is weird or not? Or would you physically actually be down with this or not? Would you, well, how should we ask it? Because in my head it would be, would you be okay with your parent waxing you? Yeah, yeah, I think that, yeah.

Like, I mean, like my mom, when I'm home in Minnesota, like my mom will sometimes like walk into my room to like grab something out of a dresser and she'll be topless. So like even modern day, like my mom is very comfortable with her body, but like it's only the top half, which I feel like is a little bit more like not intimate.

You know what I mean? Like I feel like breasts are, I'm like very comfortable with breasts. Like I topless speeches, you do what you want, breastfeeding in public, let's go baby. One guy's borderline of boobs too. Guys do have boobs, it's the same tissue. But I feel like lower genitals are a little more,

a little more, let's keep those a little contained under wraps. So I don't know. It's not for me. No. Yeah, it wouldn't be my choice, but I'm just curious. It's interesting. It's borderline, I'm curious when that friend

started getting waxed by her mom, because it could be maybe a situation that's not appropriate at all. True. But that girl just doesn't realize it. True. And that's where it could get a little scary. Would you let Austin's dad wax you? It's just very weird to see when you put specific people

in positions, I could, there's- For free though. For free, get that discount. As opposed to paying, get that discount, a hundred bucks or something. I don't know what they go for. I feel like I'd go to a friend's dad, yeah. Austin's dad, okay.

I'll let him know. Yeah, you'd let him wax your butt hole? Yeah, I guess he's an accountant, but also on a side business does the waxing. He's got a- I'm gonna get my discount. Yeah. I'm getting my discount, I'm not afraid.

Justin's very frugal. What are they, also what are they, what is he gonna tell everyone? Oh man, you should have seen what Justin had going on down there. Yeah, maybe. Bitch, that's why I got a fucking wax. What do you mean? Who's afraid? Like, I don't know. I don't know. I just, I guess like for me, I'm just- I guess that's a good point. I'm sorry. But that is a good point where it's like,

if someone's going to talk shit about you after a wax, they're weirder than you are. Of course. Yeah, sorry. What big secret are you hiding down there? And I don't think that anyone would talk- Big ol' bush. I don't think anyone would like, in their right mind, would like talk shit about somebody's area. But like, I just think that they might find it so not private because that's what they

do day to day in and day out. That they might just make a comp, like a funny thing like, yeah, like, you know, what you just said. And then in front of everybody. And to me, I'm just too private for that. I wouldn't like that. Even if it wasn't making fun of me, it just, I wouldn't like it. It doesn't get written in the history books.

Like no one's gonna look up Lauren Rolfe way in the distant future. Oh. Lauren Michelle June Rolfe. She had this landing strip and a mole next to her asshole. Like honestly, two hot takes will probably outlive us in the grand scheme of things. But if you look at the distant future, you need to burn this before we die. You're going to be able. We're just going to be little memories, pictures

on people's walls. And then eventually just nothing. You know where we're going to end up in that landfill next to my shirt. No, mustard we're gonna end up in that vault? Landfill? Next to my shirt? No! And the mustard shirt? Okay, sorry, go on. Landfill? We're better than the landfill, I hope.

Some people would disagree. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. You know there's that like secret vault in the mountains that are, it's like a cultural strong hive. There's like vinyls. Strong, strong hive? Sure. Stronghold, stronghold. Hive is cool though. It makes it think it's like vinyls. Strong hive? Sure. Strong hold. Strong hold. Hive is cool though. It makes it think it's like protected by bees.

Wait, you're referring to like the online, like the YouTube after we all pass away one day in the future. Like that's where it will go to exist. Someone's gonna download a couple copies on a flash drive and put it into the vault that's in the side of a mountain. They're saving like films. Old movies, yeah. Yeah, films, old movies. They have the originals. Art.

Vinyl, art. It's like inside of a mountain vault. That they're holding on to culture. That's kind of cool. In case stuff goes south. Wow. So I want to end up in the vault. As like, that podcast was so good.

Not as Morgan, but as two hot takes. I don't want the podcast to end up next to the mustard t-shirt by any means. That was... Yeah. Yeah. What the heck, Lauren? No, no, no. But something about like me not...

And this is just a weird control thing. But something about the idea of me dying and then like my online presence living forever somehow weirds me out. I don't know why. But think about the great grandchildren that are going to get to meet you. Say hi to them, Lauren. Hi guys. Say hi to your great grandchildren that will never meet you. Except through this video. Well, sometimes I say things.

They definitely will. You don't think our kids are going to watch this podcast. They definitely will. Our kids? Yeah. You didn't say kids. You will. Our kids? Yeah. You didn't say kids, you said great grandkids. Yeah, Lauren's gonna have a big prodigy. Is that the right term?

But see, that's what worries me. How old are they when they start watching this? I don't wanna have like a- You have no control. A 12 year old great grandchild who's listening to us talk about a landing strip. It's gonna happen. You know, your grandma got lasered.

They're gonna learn it at some point. Might as well get it over with. Yeah, yeah, Lauren. Yeah, what? Get it over with, tell your grandkids everything. Put it out there, Lauren. Put it out there. No.

Okay, on to the next one. Lauren was an exhibitionist. Oh, no. No. No. Okay, let's read one of the comments here. The way OP titled this, I thought mom and dad were doing it as a family activity. Sheesh.

Next comment. To be honest, I did too. I was envisioning family waxing night. See, it could be worse. It could be worse. It could be worse. It could be worse. It could be worse. A lot of good comments that I agree with, but I just have to say, oh my gosh, please don't get waxed for the first time before a date with this guy.

If you expect intimacy, you need to know how your skin will react to it. Yeah, so true. Skin can be so unpredictable. I had an at home waxing night. Yeah? Yeah, Jake and I. For your back though. Yeah. That's a little less risky.

And every strip you pulled, my screams were heard throughout the building. That shit was hot. My friend got waxed when we were younger because they were going to be like the Abercrombie and Fitch models outside and they didn't want any hair. So they had my friend wax their chest and it did not go well and they couldn't stand out there and work for them. That's why you got to know how your skin reacts. Yeah. There is a comment from someone close to the top. So her mom, the person that grew your friend in her uterus and then assumably pushed her out of her coochie,

changed her diapers, bathed her, cleaned her puke, talked her through her period, is professional esthetician and makes money waxing. And you think it's weird that she waxes her daughter? You probably don't have a close relationship with your mom, and that's okay. I don't either. I wouldn't be comfortable with my mom in that manner, but that more so reflects our own parental relationships, not anyone else's. It's not weird at all. And that's where we go to each their own. Yeah. I mean, that's what I said in the beginning. I was just like, I find it odd personally, but they're not harming anyone. So do you? And I think how often you see your friend's mom also would dictate, you know, if it's like,

I never see this woman. Go over there for dinner every week. Then I might be like, nah, I don't want Julie waxing me. But if you're not really close, you don't see that mom, it's basically just another waxing professional. Might as well get the discount. That's what I'm saying. Context.

I'm strangers all the way. Moving on to the next one. The next one. It's your turn to sing it today, Justin. No thanks. What are we moving on to? Number four, number five. The next one.

Thank you, Lauren. One, two, three. Moving along. That was so good, everyone. Good job. I'm never doing this again. Never. You did so great.

We're never doing what again? Sitting in this chair, talking into this mic. Podcast over. You did great, sweetie. But we were just setting up for the vault. Pick an earlier episode. Test over. You did great, sweetie. But we're just setting up for the vault. Okay. Okay. Okay.

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Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at Babbel.com slash THT. Get 50% off at Babbel.com slash THT, spelled B-A-B-B-E-L.com slash THT. Rules and restrictions may apply. Lifetime though, guys. Lifetime subscription. Okay, so this next one is titled, Am I the asshole for asking my girlfriend to cut back on her messy hobby? My girlfriend collects rocks and bones.

Not crystals or anything. She doesn't think they have any magic powers. They're just normal rocks. She's not into astrology or any witch stuff. She sometimes tells me about the rocks and what type of rock they are, and it's usually chert, which seems to just be a normal rock. Chert? Chert. C-H-E-R-T. Okay. She's really outdoorsy and she travels a lot for work. And when she gets back from a project, she has a pocketful of new rocks. The bones are usually deer bones that she finds out in the woods and she doesn't have

as many of them. The skulls are cool, but also kind of creepy, and most of them don't even have antlers or anything impressive like that. Her favorite bones are shoulder blades and those spinal bones. If we go on a hike, she'll sometimes stop randomly because she's found a cool rock that looks like a normal rock that you could find anywhere and put it in her backpack or pocket. Sometimes she asks me to carry them and I have to put dirty rocks in my pockets. She keeps them all over the house on tables but mostly in our bedroom on the dresser and on her desk.

She used to keep the skulls and bones on the dresser, but put most of them in the closet when I said I was creeped out when I would wake up and see a bunch of dead animal skulls staring at me. But she takes some of them out when she's working from home. The problem with the rocks is that there are so many of them and it's starting to make the apartment seem cluttered and kind of messy. If anyone came into our room they would just see a bunch of random rocks all over the place. The other day when I

was cleaning I put all of them in a nice box so that they were all in one place and she got really mad when she got home. She says she likes looking at them and seeing some remind her of the different trips she's taken, even though they all look the same. And she said that they're beautiful and make her happy. She also likes to pick some of them up and carry them around with her during the day. I calmly explained that we were running out of space for her rocks, and maybe she could take photos of pretty views she has to remind her of her trip. And she got really, really mad and said that I wasn't the same and I couldn't tell her what to

do with her apartment. Even though we both live here, so it's my apartment too. I tried to get my friend to commiserate, but he said I was being an ass for trying to stop my girlfriend from doing something that makes her happy and that I should be thankful that her hobby doesn't cost any money. Am I the asshole for wanting a clean apartment? I'm not even telling her to get rid of all of her random rocks and bones. I just want to put them away to make the place look nice. Am I the asshole? Here's the thing.

It's neither of them are in the wrong. It's a compatibility thing. Because to me, this would drive me crazy Like I would I like it. I don't like when it's super cluttered So I wouldn't like that but I also don't want to stop somebody from their passion and from enjoying What they what she's clearly loves and the way that she loves it So to me, I don't know that,

like neither of them to me are an asshole. I guess like the friend in between thinks that OP is an asshole, but I don't necessarily find OP to be an asshole. I just think that it's like a compatibility thing. Yeah, I'd agree with that. It goes in that category, the new one we have, where you're not an asshole,

but you're an asshole for writing it this way, because you're basically trying to make a mockery of her, you're trying to make a mockery of her, what she likes to do in this collection to try and win everyone over that's reading your writing to say, "'Yeah, that's super weird. "'Why would anyone even do that?

So we're not focused on the, we're kind of focused on the problem, but we're trying to belittle what she likes to do and the things she likes to keep. Yeah. Morgan and I have done this. We would find Morgan, I at one point knew Morgan really liked

really cool looking rocks. I collect rocks, you guys. I would go out, I'd swim really far out when we'd go to the beach and I'd dive down and try to find a couple of cool ones to bring back for her. And then another thing it reminds me of is when I was little, I used to bring these little jars and I would collect sand from any beach that I went and visited like as a kid. Did you guys do that? I didn't really go on Sandy vacations as a kid.

Okay, so- But I think it's cool. I was on a string of them over the course of a few spring breaks and so I'd have like the Florida, the Mexico, you know, whichever one. That's cool. And it didn't turn into a lifelong collecting hobby for me

but I see how for someone it could, especially if it makes them happy. So here's the deal, you're not chained at the hip for life. If this is going to be an issue, then we don't have to be together forever. That is ultimately what it boils down to. She wants to continue doing this. You'd hope you'd be able to find some compromise,

but if you don't, then at the end of the day, nobody's wrong. And we just, like Lauren said, we're not compatible. We move forward, but I would never want someone to stop doing something that makes them happy to appease me as a partner. But I would appreciate in this instance, some sort of compromise,

because we're not saying your rocks are stupid and I hate them, I don't wanna see them. We're saying, can we just find a way to make it look a little more aesthetic and just not have so many? I feel like you're approaching it from a reasonable place. And if we're not met with some sort of compromise, then that is what it is when we move forward.

Well, I even think in the way he wrote this, he's almost getting the two problems misconstrued. It's like, am I the asshole for telling my partner to cut back on her messy hobby? And then the last line is like, am I the asshole for wanting a tidy place? That's true. There's two different problems then.

You wanting a tidy living space, that's fair. Come up with a solution together where she can still beautifully display her rocks and you can have a place tidy. Because if there's a dresser and then a desk and it's covered, everything's covered with rocks and you can't set a glass down or set your shirt down or whatever, that would annoy me.

Nobody would be, yeah. But how amazing is this, of an opportunity is this, to like come together and make like some sort of like beautiful statement artwork piece. Like I'm envisioning one of those cylindrical glass vases and then you just layer them all and then she can continue adding until you get another one and then maybe have different heights of cylinder vases

and fill them. I was picturing a sort of a three-dimensional map where you could glue the rocks to the place. Yeah, I was picturing like a... Like dimensional map where you could glue the rocks to the place. I was picturing like a... Like where people put the pins at a restaurant where you see the pins from... And then she glues them on the board of where she got them. That would be sick.

So I looked up what chert looks like, by the way. I've never heard it called this chert. I've always heard it referred to as agates. It's giving agate. Agate? Agate? However you want to say it. Yeah, but rocks are really confusing. They definitely look like agates, but-

Yeah, these are the ones that she's collecting. This is what comes up when you type church. It's agate looking. It's beautiful variations of green, red, yellow, orange. The ones that were the bottom ones looked like they might have been tumbled in a rock polisher Because they're a little shinier than what I think you'd expect to find in nature. Yes, but these are beautiful. I mean those layered in a beautiful glass vase would be incredible That would be a beautiful statement piece for your house actually. It's kind of like us collecting driftwood. We do collect driftwood

Yeah, and we collect rocks too. But we did it with intention because we wanted to make a table where we use resin and it's all this really cool looking driftwood from Lake Superior. So it's like a piece of home that lives with you. And I feel like that's how she sees these rocks from every place she visits. She seems to be a big traveler, like our very own Lauren here. And so it's like a keepsake from all of that. It's like no different than the big old picture books our parents had before you could just scroll through them on a phone where you'd flip and all the, you know,

it was like going through all your memories. I love that. I really want to bring photo books back. Yeah, they are really fun. I, yeah, and I'm just thinking about it too because for me personally, I just, if I had a bigger space, then I think it'd be better for me. But I get so overwhelmed when my place feels cluttered

because I already feel overwhelmed with how much stuff I have in such a small place. And I'm trying to figure out where it all goes. And so then sometimes when like, I like Brian, my boyfriend, he'll like put like, um, like these like football figures around the house and I'm like, Bobbleheads. Yeah. We'll see.

But one day when you guys have your big house, he'll have his whole space for the memorabilia. Mojo D'Oso den. Exactly. It'll be good. That's where you can have that stuff. Not in the main. Yeah, it would be good. Because Mojo don't be so dead. Exactly, it'll be good. That's where you can have that stuff, not in the main. Yeah, exactly. I've given Justin a lot of free reign. He's got his little cause guys up on the shelf.

That was long planned before. Nice. That was long, that was pre-approved. You gotta realize though, you're lucky. Cause not every gal would. I got my permit for that long before the shelf they sit on. Before the shelf they sit on was even built. Who issued your permit? Morgan, yeah.

The world of Morgan. I have to get permits for things. It just makes it easier. Take notes guys. A permit is short for permission. So you get permission in my world it is. Okay. It's a fun world.

I thought we were creating this whole, now we're getting. Permit is short for permitted. Permitting. Permission, yeah. You made it a motto. So I got my permit early on in the process. Oh my God. And now they're beautiful.

I'm going to have Brian start using that. Did you get your permit for that? You should create a form for him that he has to fill out and then he has to pay a small fee each time. Here's your application. Charge $100 every time too. Dude, I had to pay $140 at the Burbank permit place to put a dumpster on the street. They're really charging people for stuff there.

Opportunity for you, Lauren. Yeah, you could really, you could make some bonus funds with the permit application. Brian, you want to display your bobblehead? Well, there's new rules in this town. You need a permit. And there's permits required. Yep.

$100 each permit. Yep. It's $20 a day. So if you want the bobbleheads out Friday through Sunday, $60. No, that's like storage. That's like a pawns shop or something. No, you can't pay per day. Ponds is cheap.

OK, there's boundaries to this, guys. Well, then you'd be renting the space on the shelves, like a pawns shop or something. No, you can't pay per day. Ponds is cheap. One time. Okay, there's boundaries to this guys. Well, then he'd be renting the space on the shelves, like a grocery store. Which honestly Lauren could consider as a part of her application process. I guess that could be a cause that could be worked in. Yeah. You guys are taking this away too literally.

Okay, let's get to some of OP's comments here. So someone comments, needing to take them out after agreeing to store them away is something else. And OP responds, to be fair, she does put them back when she's done working. She says it helps her focus on writing reports and stuff. Like how many rocks are we talking here?

What size? Maybe like 50 total, OP says. All different sizes, but mostly only an inch or two across. She's got about four big ones the size of my fist and those are the ones she puts in the living room by the lamp to quote Decorate it feels silly to spend money on a display case for normal rocks, but I'll ask her They're mostly on her own personal desk, which is her space, but I still have to see them all the time and it's a mess Don voted 262 times.

Yep. We're both in our mid-20s. Honestly, you got a lot of time to find new people. OP does say a lot, I can't tell them apart. They all look the same. And so someone asked, can she tell them apart? Yeah. And he comments, she says she can.

She can also pick them up and tell me what they're made of and how it was formed. Cool. Oh, here is a great detail that might have been relevant in the post. She's an archaeologist. Okay. So someone that might be very into artifacts they find, stones. I know there's a difference between archeologist and geologist. Geologist does specialize in stones, but.

I think a lot of times they go hand in hand too. But she likes them both. Just let the girl fucking live. Come on. Okay, but I do wonder her personal space, is that out in the living room? Because for example, like Brian's desk is in the living room where the TV is and whatnot. because for example, like Brian's desk is in the living room

where the TV is and whatnot. You know, like it's not like in, sometimes like, do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. Like if you have like a living room that you're both sharing, even if it's like a personal desk, it's like sometimes people still want it, you know. There's no mention of where her desk is located,

whether it's in the living room or an office. I think regardless, we're gonna to compromise or we're not. We work together, we don't. Fair, fair, fair. It's all just kind of hoopla. I'm like asking for myself, because I'm like, should I feel bad that I tell Brian to clean up his desk? No.

He doesn't have rocks on them, but like, you know, I just- Even if he did, like it's his desk. What if he collected like dead rodents? Some people are really into roadkill taxidermy. That's a big passion project for a lot of people. That's not his thing. He just like has his like papers all over his desk. And so I just ask him to organize them

whenever I come over. Yeah, make it tidy. See, that's the difference with this story. He kind of took everything and put it away, which a lot of times that's a cause for big problems where Lauren approaches it from a much better position saying, could you organize this? And then you allow them to take part in it.

Because I don't know, when people mess with your stuff and put it all in one box, it gets all. Yeah, we do have a few more comments from OP. A lot of people are suggesting shadow boxes. And now that I've Googled them, it seems like a good idea. I thought they were those big ones that you see in a museum. Shadow box, okay, if you want to glue them, whatever. I like the pin board idea where you can almost make a map

of where you found them. But I do think the vase could be so cool. Or- But they're not accessible. Or here's another one that I've been doing with my rocks now. I have a fiddle leaf fig tree, which fiddle leaf fig trees elevate the space immediately. And then you can put the rocks on top of the dirt for your fiddle leaf fig tree.

It is a vat. I love that, yeah. And then she could put that next to her desk, have a beautiful plant with her rocks nicely displayed. I love that. Yeah. Bingo. Bingo, baby. Salt. Or you make a- Bingo.

Next story. Yeah. Well, cause I was gonna, there's a lot of ways you could display them, but they are not accessible. Like if she like, she actually grabbed them and carried them around. Exactly, that's a good one.

That's what I was thinking. I was thinking about like, if there's a way that you could frame them with like double glass and then you could see the rocks like all in like one, you know, like you could see them. Because if you put them in a jar, you're not going to be able to see the ones in the middle kind of thing. So if she wants to view them, I was thinking that. But does she have a thing where she likes to touch them and that kind of like calms

her. You guys, I have a stress rock here. Yeah. So that's, so that's why. You guys, I have a stress rock here. Yeah, so that's why I think the plant is a good way to compromise. And then she just reaches down into the plant and can hold it. I like that.

Yeah. But then they're dirty. What? And they're covered in dirt. Well, we could put, no, no, no. They don't come out dirty. The soil is pretty dry. We could also put like wood chips on top of the soil.

Yeah, I don't know about mulch on an indoor plant. I don't know guys, okay. To be determined. But I'm just, I'm trying to figure out how we can make it less dirty. Yeah, yeah, they don't come out that dirty. The soil is pretty good. Oh, is that your brother? Yeah, my brother and dad just rolled in.

Oh, he's here. Cool. What do we think the overall vote on this one is? That he's the asshole. Sorry, I's here. Cool. What do we think the overall vote on this one is? That he's the asshole. Sorry, I was looking at Jerry. It's very funny. I know. My dad is like smushing his face up against the window of the studio.

What do we think the overall vote is on this one, guys? That he's the asshole. Yeah, for how he wrote it. And maybe just in general. Yeah. Top comment. Some people might be content getting quietly stoned every weekend, but your girlfriend is a rock star.

Make no bones about it. She's found a way to turn a mundane outing into a little treasure hunt. You're the asshole for trying to curtail something harmless and fun that brings her joy. It's clear that you don't get why this is fun for her. That's fine. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't let her take joy in it. It's just rocks. It isn't as if she's hoarding illegal Iranian yogurt or something. That's a callback for us all. We had a story about a guy who collects yogurt, some of which is illegal. Interesting. Lovely. No, yeah. And that's whenever you said 50 rocks too.

I mean, given that 50 rocks is a good amount of rocks, but like I was picturing at first in the story that it was- Thousands. Yeah, like just thousands. Just like covering their entire place. 50 is not even bad. Yeah. Not even bad.

Next comment down, no assholes here. Both partners have reasonable preferences here and neither seem to be acting like assholes about it yet. But I had to upvote you for the puns. There you go. I think I would go, I think I skew more towards asshole based on how he's writing it

and almost his condescending attitude about the rocks. Yeah. And he is kind of stealing the joy. How fun is it to go on a hike and like take a little rock every time as like your souvenir and like yeah remember like that time. Like I think that is really beautiful. It is cute and it's magical and it makes her happy. I think and going back to like the beginning, I also think that people have different preferences. If they can't compromise, it's like a compatibility thing. It doesn't mean that one is the asshole or the other.

However, it is a good point. I don't like how he wrote some of the things. It seems very condescending. Like, they all look the same. What's she doing? They all look the same. You know what I mean? Like, that just makes it seem like you're just taking the joy and you're making something

mundane that she views as magical. And so, like, just because you don't find joy in it, you don't have to downplay it when somebody that you really love and care about does. Yeah, exactly. You know, you can be like, I don't find the bobbleheads very magical, but you know what? My partner does. And so, well, if it bothers you that much, go find someone who's not an archaeologist, who's not a geologist. I thought you were telling me to go find someone who doesn't have bobbleheads. Well, but that would be, that is. But yeah, exactlyologist. I thought you were telling me to go find someone who doesn't have bobbleheads. Well, but that would be, that is? Yeah, exactly.

But I thought you were just like saying that so like stern to me and I was about to crack that thing. Yeah, Lauren, go find someone that doesn't have fucking bobbleheads. What are you doing? Idiot. There's a solution here. Okay.

I have one short and sweet one for us to really end us on a note of rage. Okay, that's not where I saw that going. I just wanna really just pop it off today. This one, I haven't read it, but based on the title, I think it's gonna be clear. It's a big deal. He read it.

Ha ha ha ha. 16 hours old, coming from relationship advice, titled, my husband, 28 male told me 26 female that he wished my C-section would go wrong during an argument. Wow. My husband and I got into an argument tonight. He wanted to watch a new show during supper.

And I wasn't too big of a fan of it because I knew it had violence in it. But we started watching it anyways after I finally caved in. Our son is 1.5 years and was eating in his height chair, and the show started getting very violent. So I asked my husband to turn it off and he refused. I told him it's not good for our son to watch this type of stuff,

and he still refused to turn it off. A guy in the show got slammed against a wall and our son said, uh oh. So after my husband still refused to turn it off, I grabbed our son out of the high chair and left the room. My husband paused the show and started cleaning up the mess from the high chair and said I was being ridiculous. I showed him an article about how watching violence is not good for a child's development, even if they can't understand what they're seeing.

He called me a bitch. I told him, quote, please don't call me a bitch. I'm not being a bitch, I'm being a parent. Stop letting your pride get in the way of doing what's right for our son. And then he called me a cunt and threw the drain plug at me. I turned and it grazed my back. I stared at him in disbelief and he said, quote,

I hope your c-section goes bad. I hate you. I'm currently pregnant with our second child. I'm in such disbelief right now. I don't even know how to process what just happened or what to do. Is this something that can be fixed or forgiven? Absolutely not. Fucking run. I hate him. Run. Just in general if she's having I don't want to eat something gory or wait Sorry, I'm in disbelief. I don't want to eat something while something gory is on my TV.

I don't want to do that no matter what. And yes, there are studies behind when your child's watching TV and what TV is on. That is factual. Go look at the facts. Go look at the studies, I should at least say. But just from the very start, it's infuriating. And then it just gets worse and worse. It's almost like it almost feels like he's like out of his mind.

Doesn't it seem like this is such an aggravated overreaction for something that could have just been like, OK, I'll shut it off. It seems like it's not a big deal to shut off your show. It seems like a 13 year old who's like going through like angsty like teenage rage that like doesn't know how to handle it and says things they don't mean because they don't know what they actually are saying. I'm literally wondering like is this guy using steroids? Like is this fucking roid rage? Like what the fuck is wrong with this? You're a bitch. You're a cunt. I hope you die during your c-section. Oh my God. your c-section. If my partner, the father of my two children, ever told me he hopes I die during my c-section, guess what? You're not going to fucking be there at the birth

of our child and we're fucking done. Get your shit and get the fuck out of my face. Done. See, and it scares me so much too because if you leave them, well now you have to raise your child with them, I mean, assuming that they get at least some custody, well now you have to raise your child with them. I mean, assuming that they get at least some custody and now you have to drop your child off with them in this behavior because- It's so scary. Yeah, like that would make me so afraid

to leave my child alone with somebody who can pop off and react like that. And who also is just gonna watch gory movies with my like toddlers watching the entire time too. So I just, this, oh, I don't like this. It's a tough situation. Well, the thing about it is she doesn't say, he's never done anything like this and this is the first time something like this has ever happened.

If it is the first time, that's really crazy. Like to know someone for that long, because I know we like put yourself in it with your partner. Yeah. For that to all of a sudden happen would be the scariest shit. Yeah. Oh my God. And you'd be like. Be like, where did this come from?

I would call the police on my partner. Well, it's just so ridiculous. And the kid literally said, uh-oh. Like the kid knows what it's watching. Yeah. Literally. And the next thing is probably like a poof. Like you don't know what's coming.

You don't, no. Shows so like, there's some scenes from shows that have stuck with me my entire life. I will never forget. We just talked about this. I watched a scary movie when I was like six or seven and it still haunts me. Like I think about it quite often.

Like I was way too young to watch it then. And this is a baby. Like stuff can sit in your unconscious subconscious. The kid was watching 100%. Yeah, I mean, your brain is taking it all in when you're a little like, when I talked to a therapist once, she was saying, she's like, no, like you're, you from day zero,

you are taking all this in. Like if you have family members who are fighting in front of you before you can even remember, like that is a part of your brain formation. So yes, if a baby is around like a violent show once in a while, like it's not gonna be like absolutely detrimental, but to just actively have a family dinner and just put on a violent show.

And when your partner already doesn't feel comfortable about it for herself, but then pay no mind to the fact that like, she's letting you know that there's studies that have been done to show that it's actually not helpful for the baby and you don't care. Crazy. It's so wild.

And then you throw things like a child. Abuse. It's starting to inch towards abuse. And this is your sign to get out. Yeah. Top comment. This is just the start of more terrible things to come. Please get out ASAP.

Next comment down. When someone shows you who they are, listen. Would you ever treat the love of your life like that? If the answer is no, you deserve better. He would not hear your reasonable pleas. He insulted you and threw things at you and then made a sickening comment. My much older friend gave me this advice about men

and it's always stuck, though still hard to break out of patterns of abuse. It's hard. It's really hard. I just, it's something to answer the question, no, you can never come back from. There's no way to, though it happened in a blip of time, there's no way to erase this.

There's no making good on it. There's no apology that'll ever justify it. There's absolutely no way to come back. No, I don't think so. When things like that happen, there's a reason it's called a fresh start. And there's a reason that that feels so refreshing after you go through some shit like this. Yeah, we do have comments also sharing support for abuse, outreach, hotlines and domestic violence subreddits.

So I feel like if you're out there listening and you identify or recognize or relate to any of these behaviors, please look after yourself and get out. I am in the boat of, it is always better to just get out versus trying to end things with people like this, have an exit plan, stash away money, do what you need to do. But there's great resources shared in this common thread and someone else does add after it, please make sure that he doesn't have the ability to make any medical decisions in the event that something does go wrong. So I would highly, highly make sure that OP does that. And, you know, anyone out there listening, like if

you have a partner that you just don't trust how they react or are like this, have a medical decision making form filled out and notarized, you can go into your local hospital and they can actually help you do that. And it's a care directive. It's They're really easy to do. Well, and you're not making this choice. This is not saving just yourself at this point. These are your two babies too. You are literally stepping in to make this choice also for your kid, soon to be kids.

Because imagine what happens, oh, I'm gonna go out to this birthday dinner with the girls or whatever. We're watching Saw 5, babe. You don't know what's playing at home. Like there's just no, there's no trust or respect going forward. It's impossible.

No, this is a big deal. Yeah, wow. It's not normal. It doesn't happen to everyone. And it is a big deal. Is that from something? This is some crazy shit. Friends, I think.

I don't know, somewhere. I'm surprised they didn't recognize. Pivot. Yeah, pivot, pivot. That was a good one, guys. We had some crazy stories. It left me lost for words. I didn't even know what I was saying at one point.

So if it didn't make sense, maybe you could snip, snip. We'll see, we'll see. Snip, snip. We'll see, we'll see. Thank you all so much for being here. Another episode. We're going to have some fun stuff on Patreon. We got a bonus episode coming with the three of us.

Three of us, we do updates. We get into some crazy stories with updates. Those were good ones. But yeah, other than that, drive safe. I hope your cleaning went well, your workout, you're feeling real strong after it. You know what I mean? I like when some people say that they're at work

and they have the headphones in and they just start laughing. A lot of people are working. Crunching numbers, doing stuff. Their manager passes by and they're like, just laughing at the numbers on the screen. Oh my God, this email from a client. Really funny.

But thank you guys so much and until next time. Until next time. Until next time. Bye! Bye! Bye! Thanks for watching!