Two Hot Takes - 168: A Wee Bit Rude..

Episode Date: May 30, 2024

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Lauren! This week's episode has us dissecting situations that may or may not be rude. Offensively impolite? Ill-mannered? We'll be the judge of that! From sending a venmo request after a wedding to telling your husband's kids you're not a gold-digger there are some wild ones this week! Bonus Content on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes MERCH IS HERE ! https://shop.twohottakes.com I can't wait to see you all in these, especially at our live shows!! Our PO Box!! Two Hot Takes. 5042 Wilshire BLVD. #470. Los Angeles, CA 90036 Our SubReddit to Submit YOUR Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes Partners: Gametime: Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code THT for $20 off your first purchase !  Heineken 0.0: https://bit.ly/TwoHotTakes00 Lune: Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with Lume & get 15% off with promo code THT at LumeDeodorant.com ! 

When you're ready to pop the question, the last thing you want to do is second-guess the ring. At BlueNile.com, you can design a one-of-a-kind ring with the ease and convenience of shopping online. Choose your diamond and setting. When you've found the one, you'll get it delivered right to your door. Go to BlueNile.com and use promo code WELCOME to get $50 off your purchase of $500 or more. That's code WELCOME at BlueNile.com for $50 off your purchase. BlueN or more that's code welcome at blue Nile calm for $50 off your purchase Blue Nile calm code welcome. Wow, it feels weird to be back in the studio Mm-hmm. We have not recorded like an actual episode and so long just with the tour It's been wild. Mm-hmm

I know we also haven't recorded but like me and you for a minute. And so this feels kind of odd. It feels like a lot of pressure. We're missing. Yeah. I'm missing Justin. I'm missing someone. Well, because usually, you know, if I don't really know my thoughts yet, I can just let

Justin say his thoughts first. And now I just have to really try to figure out my thoughts before I speak. You know, it's going to be okay. I think today's theme will be a really fun one. It's a wee bit rude. Like, were the people involved rude or is this just like, ah, it's not, you know, so rude or we'll see. I feel like a lot of them might be like, it wasn't necessarily rude, but like, it could have gone better. I don't know. I'm very intrigued. I honestly have not read most of these. I was like scrambling to pick this morning to get ready for us. And just like, I kind of went off title and like the first line.

So you might be surprised by some of these too. I literally, I'm mostly surprised by all of them. And then I had one saved in a theme for it, haven't read it in a month and a half. So now I'm like, okay, what are we getting into? I'm so scared. I like the title, Weebit. A wee bit rude, just a wee bit, maybe a lot to bit. Where does wee bit come from? Which country started that?

I feel like it's a wee bit. Doesn't it give like Irish or something? Yeah, I was... or Harry Potter even. It actually comes from the wizarding world. Scottish! It comes from Scotland. The word wee. I should know that. I'm Scottish. Wow, you really did a disservice to your heritage. I know, well my mom didn't teach me anything

about the Scottish side. Well, I'll get you a trip over there. Thank you. We'll go adventure, I really wanna go to Scotland. I know. Really wanna go. The Taylor Swift concert too. Dude, I might still just pull one out of the hat.

Right before Ollie's birthday. Just, I'm going, I'm going scorched earth, going ham, going balls to the walls, going crazy, going catatonic. I'm like, I'm, I'm like this close to the edge, I would say. Okay. I would say. There's a good amount of room there. Well, maybe, maybe this.

Lots of wiggle room. Maybe this. Still of wiggle room. Still some wiggle room. I'm dealing with an insane amount of burnout where I just like, I'm like, there's an episode that came out recently and someone was like, I feel like you shouldn't respond to these types of stories. And I'm like, I'll do you one better. I won't respond at all. Like I'm just like, I'm so burnt out.

I know. And it's just, I know like, you know, the tour was amazing meeting everyone. And now I'm like, honestly, I just only want to do live shows. Literally. Literally. I love the live shows. We get real time feedback and it's playful and it's fun. It's so fun.

Yeah. It just feels so good and different. Yeah, exactly. And so I'm just like, I'm really struggling this week with like, finding the motivation. You know, I know there's a lot I don't have experience on, but like, if I only picked stories that I can genuinely talk about because of my experiences, we wouldn't really have a show. No. We wouldn't have a story about fucking a coconut because I've never done that. But you want to.

So I do really want to. I've told a lot of people that at live shows, like if I had an appendage to do it, I would, but I haven't slept with my brother. Like you know what I mean? Like obviously those are obscene stories, but I don't relate to any of those. And that's just the beauty of this show. It's us giving our, our take, our hot take. It could be wrong. It could be great.

And then the community fills in in a kind respectful way That's the show. That's the show guys That's the show. I love the show So I'm I told you I'm this close to the edge and I just need to find a way to get reeled back in because It's just burnout is fucking crazy to deal with. Burnout is like, by far my, like, depression, anxiety, all goes into burnout. Like it's, it's a beast of a little mental thing.

So here we are. I mean, I, the live show, okay, so what we, I got back from New York on Saturday night and I woke up and I moved my, all of my stuff out of my apartment the entire day. I, moving sucks. Oh my God. I forgot how much energy it takes, but like doing that right after all of that travel that we had, I'm like, wow, I am, I am ready to take some naps. I could nap for a year and it wouldn't be enough.

True. But let's get into these stories because as you can tell, I'm raring to go. Rare. Rare. I'm going to fucking go crazy today. Who knows what takes you're going to get today? Watch out! Let's dive in.

Let's dive in. Let's do it. I really like this unhinged version of you. I am fucking unhinged. That's my favorite word. I truly think if you don't go unhinged at least once a week, you are not living. Ooh, that is like a thing. You need to be unhinged at least once a week. You see a video on TikTok, you better fucking cry your eyes out, bitch. Oh, I do.

Like you go unhinged once a week. Your takeout, they forgot the guac and chips in your order. You better go unhinged. Like there's one thing a week where you need to let some rage energy out. And if you don't, I'm concerned. I was crying my eyes out because... Hold on, let me redo that.

I was crying because I was watching it TikTok yesterday. Oh, what one? It was this little girl finding out that she's going to be a big sister. And it was such a long, long TikTok because it took her a while to read and to understand what was going on. And I patiently watched the whole thing and started with little sniffles. And then by the end, I'm full blown just crying. I cried over multiple things on social media this week. One, if you guys follow like Juniper

the fox, her little brother Moose died. I was crying about that. And then, wait, who? It's like a dog. He had to be put down. I was crying about that. And then, what else did I cry about? Oh, there was like this compilation of like poop pranks where like parents would ask their kid to get them toilet paper and then they would smear like fake poop on them and the kids would get so upset. And I was crying about that because that felt bad. But that was like two years ago. Well, I just thought, I just thought maybe it came back around for another, another round of honestly Justin pulled it up and I was like, this is mean.

Honestly, pranking kids is so funny. I don't know if it's right or not. It feels like it's probably wrong. But this video that I saw, this mom saying that she ate all of her kids' Halloween candy, that also was an old one that resurfaced. But the little girls were like, but we have candy in the back pantry. It's okay. And she's like, no, I ate that too.

And they're like, well, we can get some more next Halloween. I remember you telling me about this one. It was so cute. But okay, here we go. Okay, let's do it. This one is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is six days old titled, Am I the Asshole for walking out of the bridal salon when I found out my friends were making fun of me behind my back. titled, Am I the Asshole for Walking Out of the Bridal Salon When I Found Out My Friends

Were Making Fun of Me Behind My Back? I have two friends, Gabby and Shelly. All of us are 23, if that matters. We were roommates in college and stayed in the same city after graduation. While the three of us are close, I've always known that Gabby and Shelly are closer. They have a really sweet friendship. Shelly is getting married, Gabby is the maid of honor, and I'm one of the bridesmaids. Over the weekend I went with Shelly so she could look at wedding dresses. Gabby was supposed to come with

us but got called into work last minute. I helped Shelly pick out some dresses then she went with a consultant to try them on. Shelly asked that I take pictures and videos on her phone to send to her mom and Gabby. I was getting the camera ready when a text from Gabby came through. I didn't mean to click on it and was instantly going to click back out when I saw one of my Instagram pictures in their private chat from earlier that morning. Both were making fun of me for the face I was making and my outfit choice. It didn't appear to be in very good nature.

I admit, curiosity got the best of me, so I searched my name in the chat. I found multiple pictures that I, my boyfriend, or my mom have posted of myself, absolutely ripping them to shreds. Stop. Ranging from selfies to pose shots to even a few baby pictures.

They'd also make fun of me in general terms of the way I talked, wore my hair, the way I ate. This went back as far as I could tell, at least a year. My heart broke. It all felt so juvenile in high school. While we all joke around, I would never do this to them, nor have they ever even tried to instigate these types of conversations with me about the other one-on-one. I was in tears. As someone who was bullied all through middle and high school, it just brought me back to a horrible place.

I put the phone in Shelley's purse and brought it to another employee, telling her to tell Shelley that I had to go. I drove home and had a long cry. Shelly texted me by the time I made it home asking where I went. I said I was going home and we could talk later. When she did call a few hours later, she was understandably confused and hurt that I had left. I told her what I found, explaining I only looked further because of the initial text

I accidentally saw. She went off on me for looking through her private texts and said those were none of my business. She also told me I shouldn't have left the store without saying anything. I said I didn't want to make a scene, but also knew I couldn't fake being happy for her. Shelly told me the texts were all in good fun and clearly she loves me because I'm going to be happy for her. No. Shelly told me the texts were all in good fun, and clearly she loves me because I'm going to be her bridesmaid. Clearly you don't.

She added that I'm only hurt because I chose to read all of those texts. Later on, Gabby called to tell me that I invaded Shelly's privacy and hurt her by walking out. Please. My boyfriend and mom think I did the right thing by walking out, but obviously they're a little biased. I just want some unbiased looks.

Was I an asshole to look through the texts and then leave? No. No. Next story. No. This is more than a wee bit rude. Like at first I was like, okay, well she walked out. Like what were they really saying?

I didn't know, like based on the title. This is Beyond Justified. I honestly would have taken screenshots, sent them to myself, and then put those bitches on blast. Like you guys are bad friends, genuinely bad friends. This isn't a wee bit rude. This isn't a like... To do that to one of your bridesmaids, and then to blame her, like, you invaded my privacy.

You invaded my space. You chose to read those. You hurt yourself by choosing to read those. And that is just so typical and predictable. That is just the, like, I got caught and I feel stupid, and so I'm going to try to flip this because I'm gonna try to defend myself. And that's crazy. But it's absolutely

ridiculous and it's just like, I mean, yeah, if you guys all poke fun with each other and, you know, there was one thing and it's just like, haha, her outfit made me laugh today. But the fact that that was like something they do, like that was like a bonding moment for them is crazy. Well, and how much they've done it. Baby pictures too. What's wrong with you guys? Like what type of sick, like happy, like that's what it makes me like, that's like when people like get addicted to like hating on something.

Do you know what I mean? Like they like get addicted to like something that makes them cringe. That's what that feels like, because how do you do that consistently? Like one of your closest friends? It's how? It's beyond weird. It's beyond weird. It's so weird. I just can't imagine like hating someone so much to where you constantly make it a thing to talk about them. Like you're using that as a way to bond with your other friend. That's yeah. It's like, there's so many times I've like seen videos

of people on TikTok where it's like, I found out one of my best friends was actually my hater. And it's like, I can't imagine feeling that way about someone and still choosing to be friends with them. Yeah. Like why? But I'm working on like another podcast with April McDaniel and like Savannah James. It's called Everybody's Crazy.

And they have some really, really crazy call ins. And it's a really, really fun show if anyone needs another podcast to listen to. But we recorded some episodes yesterday and April was just talking about how like, out of all the emotions like love is a big one, envy is a big one, and like envy is actually stronger than love. So it's like I get why people choose to do that. Like you're so envious of your friend that you then grow to hate her. It's, I don't know, it's a weird, it's a weird concept, but I can kind of like yeah train, get it. Right. I, yeah. I was in a fight with my ex boyfriend and I was like, I hate him. And my friend was like, well, there's a fine line between love and hate. And I was like,

Nope, just hate. No love. I was pissed. But, but like, and everyone knows that phrase, but I, I felt it in that moment. You know, I was like, wow, knows that phrase, but I felt it in that moment. You know, I was like, wow, I get what they're saying by that because I had such intense angry feelings from that fight because of the fact that I loved him. Yeah. So, but that's not this story.

This story is just weird. Top comment, not the asshole. If I was in your place, I think I'd drop out of being in the wedding. Mm-hmm. Duh. Like, that is a no-brainer. Duh.

Do not support this girl. Do not make it like this is okay. No. You're done. And even... You're done. A little bit ago, I tried to like say maybe if it was just one text and they laughed at her outfit. Even that, I'd be pissed.

I'm like, why are you laughing about my outfit? Like, what do you get out of that? Why are you sending... What are you guys doing? You wanna buy my clothes, bitch? Yeah. Go right ahead. Go right ahead. You can dress me. I won't pay for a damn thing.

Yeah. Oh, but the fact that it's just like a consistent thing, that would be really hard for me to imagine moving forward with a wedding specifically. Like, no. It's one thing to jokingly make fun of someone one time. There you go Lauren, but seems like they've done this to you a bunch of times. And it doesn't seem like it was lighthearted.

If I was you, I wouldn't feel bad about looking through those messages at all. She handed her phone to you and feels like fate took the opportunity to expose them to you for who they are. Yeah. That is very true. Sorry, I have hair on my lip. No, you're good. It's probably Junie's cat hair. Oh my have hair on my lip. No, you're good. It's probably Junie's cat hair. Oh my God, it probably is.

Just kidding. No, it definitely is. But that is so true because both of those girls knew they would be together. She wasn't even scared of getting caught because if she was, she would have deleted those mean messages. Like, she didn't even care. She was like, I'm not ashamed of this until she got caught. But like the the fact that that other girl texted Shelly and it was right

there like you accidentally click into the message and it's right there easy to find. Yeah, come on. Yeah, I have a friend too. This is reminding me who he will talk a lot of shit like to your face to anyone He'll say whatever he wants. That's crazy, but he won't ever do it behind their back Like that I like yeah If he's gonna say something he says it directly to the person He does he'll stop a conversation if people start talking about somebody else behind their back Like he's just he doesn't engage in I've ever so I respect that

There's people who have relationships like that with their friends where their friendship is based on like banter and roasting each other and those light jabs. There are some people that that's their friendship and they can handle that. That's not what this is. This is behind the back. This is mean conniving. There's another comment and like we've used this expression before on an episode even, with friends like this, who needs enemies? You're done. You don't deserve this. They don't deserve you. Move on.

Find people that love and cherish you and don't treat you like a punching bag. Done. Done. Okay. Moving along. Way bit rude. A way bit rude.

Okay, so this next one is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Celebrating During a Coworker's Meeting? I have a friend slash coworker that always offers to make birthday cakes for everyone. This week, it was my birthday. So last weekend, she texted me asking what flavor I would prefer.

I told her this time I would take care of the cake myself, and all she had to do was be there to eat it. She told me she would be there all day, except for a two-hour period where she had a meeting. I told her, great, I'll see you then. When she was attending her meeting, we didn't really want to wait. Some people actually wanted to leave, so we sung Happy Birthday and ate the cake without her. I guess we could have done it before her meeting, but I didn't think about it. I didn't think she was mad at us because she talked to me after that, asking how the

cake was and all. However, for the rest of the day, she was not joining in as usual in our group chat and some of my coworkers are saying that she's probably upset and that I was a bit of an asshole. On one hand, it's true that she always makes sure to work around everyone's schedule and leave slices for those who can't be there. We didn't leave her a slice because we finished the cake.

On the other hand, it was the first time she wasn't the one organizing, so we're not very used to it. And I didn't expect her to mind. Am I the asshole? I mean, yeah. I would say, yeah, this is rude. It is rude. This is rude.

I would say it's a wee bit rude because it was, what do you call it? Like incompetence rather than actively trying to be rude. Well I'm like, I just want to make sure I'm like, shit, I should have Googled rude before we started this. Rude. Offensively impolite or ill mannered. Having a startling abruptness. I think that fits into like, offensively impolite and ill mannered.

She reached out, she offered to make you a cake. Okay, you wanted to make your own cake, so you did. But then you did it without her when she said, I have a meeting, just this, like, this is the time. I just can't make it. Any other time is great. I'll be there for you. I want to celebrate with you. And then you literally chose that time. And then you didn't even save her a slice.

That's, yeah. Do you like this person? That's what I'm saying. I'm like, it sounds like, it sounds like OP really didn't understand what they did being wrong. And that's why I'm like, okay, well, maybe this is just a learning lesson for you. But to me, it feels so obvious. Of course, that's rude. This person usually is always like on top of it with everybody else. And then the one time she's like, oh, I have a meeting right here, but I it with everybody else. And then the one time she's like, oh, I have a meeting right here, but I want to help out. And then you just leave her out completely.

Like even leaving a slice would just be like, can't you just wait for her? But you didn't even leave her a slice. That's like the bare minimum in this. Yeah. If someone brought treats to work and I didn't get one, I'd be going on hinge. That would be my one time for the week.

I'd be like, are you serious? Well, I love treats. I also think that those, it sounds like, you know, the other person might even be like little type A. And I feel like type A people specifically, when they go out of their way to make things happen for other people and they make that their prerogative. And then when the simplest time,

somebody doesn't consider them, I feel like that can like push someone over the edge. You know what I mean? Like it's like, it seems silly like, oh, they didn't leave a cake for me, but it's like, no, it's the principle of it all. No, a 1000 fucking percent. Because you look at what she does

to accommodate her coworkers, she texts them, what flavor would you like? Bakes them a cake, plans this whole celebration, includes everyone at work. Let me tell you, baking cakes, not cheap. Baking is a labor of love, time, money. Like this is so nice. I don't think I've ever baked a cake honestly, now that I think about it. I mean, besides like the mix, the two ingredients one. I mean, but you think about it, even the cost of eggs now, crazy. You need eggs for a cake. You can even do a box mix. You still need those eggs. It's 20 bucks every time. And she's doing

this for how many coworkers? That adds up. Like that's a decent amount of money. And just to be brushed off, it's like, if I were her, I would be like, why do I do this? Why do I go out of my way? Why do I do this for people? Yeah, she probably won't anymore. I wouldn't. This would be the straw for me. Yeah. Snap that camel's back. Fuck it. Done. No more cakes for you bitches. I just love when you use, what are they called? Idioms?

Is that what those are called? I actually don't know. Let's look at the word idiom. I need to go back to school. A group of words established by usage as having a meaning not deducible from those of an individual words. It's raining cats and dogs. See the light. Okay.

So yes. Good job, Lauren. Nice. A win for Lauren. Off to fourth grade. Yeah. Okay to fourth grade. Yeah. Okay. Top comment.

And let me ask you this before we read it, because I can just scan. Do you also blame the other coworkers in this? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. The fact that nobody was being considerate or thinking like, no, yeah. So top comment. Sorry, but this is a collective you're the asshole.

She told you when she wasn't available and nobody thought to actually take that into an account. Nobody even thought to save a piece of cake for the person who always makes the cakes for everyone else. None of you covered yourselves in glory today. She may not be angry, but she's surely at the least rightfully feeling hurt. She deserved better from all of you, I think. True.

That's very true. That's sad. I know. Because that just shows she wasn't even a thought for any of those people. And honestly, in the beginning, I feel like I was a little delicate. And I take that back. Incompetence is not an excuse. You guys are being assholes.

Yeah. And I think like, I think even if you had a brain fart in that moment and you were like, oh my God, it was gone before I could even cut it. But how did everyone? That, but then it's like, okay, well, you should be apologizing then. Right. Going out of your way and just being like, hey, I'm so sorry. I felt pressure to start things.

That's such a good point. It's on me, like, I'm so sorry, I didn't make sure you were there or save you a piece. Instead, this person's ready to end it. You're going to Reddit and asking? How do you not know? How do you, yeah, exactly. How do you not know you were rude and inconsiderate

and an asshole? Right. Blah. Moving along. Blah. Moving along. Moving along. You, that sounded like one of the Hannah Montana transitions. I love that show.

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and use code THT for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply, but again, create an account and redeem code THT for $20 off. Download Game Time today. Last minute tickets, lowest price, guaranteed. Okay, so this next one is coming from Am I the Asshole posted nine days ago. It is titled, Am I the Asshole for sending a Venmo request for babysitter, hotel, and Uber reimbursement after a dry wedding. A friend from college got married this past weekend. The wedding was 45 minutes from my house, so my wife and I got a hotel room.

We checked in, had a few pre-game cocktails, and we ubered from the hotel to the venue. We sit down, wedding happens, it's beautiful, we get to the social hour, as it's called, and there is no booze. Turns out, this was a dry wedding. There was no indication that this was a dry wedding before showing up. I checked the digital version of the invite and website, nothing indicating this. I'm pissed for a few reasons. One, I might not have RSVP'd yes if I knew this.

And two, I'm pissed I blew a few hundred bucks on a hotel for the night, babysitters, and Ubers. I'm like, what the fuck? Other friends that were there were grumbling and felt similar to me. The night went on and the wedding was fine, but honestly, a bit of a bummer. Now that my wife and I have kids, nights like this are rare and I was pumped to do something. So we dipped out a bit early and went out. Other friends rolled with us.

We left in the middle of the dancing time and didn't stay for the exit. Later that night, I sent a Venmo request for the cost of babysitter, hotel, and Ubers. Yesterday, I heard from my college buddy. He was like, what the fuck is this asshole? I explained I was mad that this was a dry wedding. The bride had family that were alcoholics, so they opted to not have alcohol as an option.

I told him, that's need to know information. Not informing us of that cost me and our other friends a lot of money. He said I should have asked him and not assumed it was a wet wedding. I said to him, alcohol is a default option. If you change the default, you tell people. He disagreed with that notion. I said, you drink, why would I think it's dry? We went back and forth for a while.

He still thinks I'm the asshole. Am I the asshole? Yeah. Yes. I mean, like I do think that like, because of the fact that weddings are pretty consistently, like, recognized as drinking events, it just kind of is like that, then it would be nice to give people a heads up because of, you know, he did do all of this stuff and he would have done it differently.

But like, the fact that he said, I wouldn't have even, I might have not gone to the wedding, like, okay. That's weird. So you're literally only going to there to support him because you can get drunk. That's kind of messed up. That's very strange. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. So I just think that,

I think the one part of this that I agree with him on is it would be nice if you let people know if it's gonna be a dry wedding, just because typically they're not, but like, that's not, you don't owe anybody that. And you definitely don't owe them his Ubers and like his hotel and his babysitter. That's insane. Also, sir, you still got a night out of it.

Yeah. You chose to go out, you left your friend's wedding, all the dancing, you could have still had fun, you left and chose to go to a bar. At that point, you had a pregame cocktail or two, spend the rest of the wedding sobering up, drive yourself home. You can then release the babysitter early. The hotel might let you get off the hook early. I don't know.

Probably not, maybe. Probably not, maybe. But you save on Ubers, you save on the babysitter like You chose your destiny at that point. Yeah He just sounds like such an ass honestly super entitled. He's so entitled super entitled I also think like I do understand the the frustration with not disclosing it in the sense, like some people do pregame weddings. Like we got on our friend Noelle's shuttle bus,

we all had white claws. And even that, like we could have triggered someone by bringing a white cloth. And then it's like, oh my God, they have issues because they saw a white cloth. Like you just don't wanna accidentally cause a problem. And so it would be nice, like, hey, this will be a dry wedding,

please refrain from bringing alcohol, blah, blah, blah. There's so many people like, and maybe this is like a hillbilly Minnesota wedding thing, but we showed up to my cousin's wedding and we like tailgated. Like that, that's just, we're hillbillies. I know, I went to a Minnesota wedding too. And like the entire wedding party,

it took a fireball shots before everyone went down. So I mean, maybe that's sad that our society like expects weddings to have alcohol in it, but like it pretty much has been very consistent, at least in the United States that I know of that like there's alcohol in weddings. So I think that like, it would be nice if you, if people were avoiding that, if they, you know,

kind of like kids, like if this is a no kids wedding, this is a no alcohol wedding, you know, stuff like that. But, but I definitely think that that's not, that's not the issue here. Yeah, that's not grounds to treat your friend that way. Like that's, that's a moment that's just like, oh, that's, I wish you would have let me know and then drop it there.

Yeah. That's it. Move on. That's their special day. And you're going to me know. And then drop it there. Yeah. That's it. Move on. That's their special day and you're going to ruin it because you didn't get your fucking drink. Like shut up. Well, what's also really crazy to me is he sent this Venmo request the night of the wedding. The night of.

God, you're so right. You're such a tacky asshole. Oh my God. You're an absolute asshole. That is insane. Also, like let's chalk this up. Like a hotel on average, a hundred dollars, maybe 200. Okay.

Again, you chose to do this. Ubers, 50 bucks, babysitter, 50, 100. Like chalk this up as your wedding gift and move on. Like literally, move on. You're not going to be friends with this person after this if you are this, it's entitled asshole. I would drop them so fast. Are you kidding me? Like on, like weddings are expensive without alcohol too.

This person spending a lot of money and having you and your partner come, like you need to grow up. This is so beyond rude. It's crazy. I know, I remember. I can't believe the night of too, that detail is just actually. That's wild. Oh my God. That's crazy. I know. I remember. I can't believe the night of too. That detail is just actually.

That's wild. Oh my God. That's wild. Like that is, oh my God. It's just ridiculous. You're the asshole is the top comment. The wedding was 45 minutes from my house, so my wife and I got a hotel room. They quote OP.

You write so like this was a casual relationship. 45 minutes away ain't some destination wedding. Yeah. You wasted your own money on a needless hotel. Because that's true, too. Like you're bitching about the money. You don't want to waste money. You could have one decided between you and your wife, who's going to be the DD or like, hey, mom, you're going to babysit our baby. You know, do you think dad could pick us up? if this was me or take a 45 minute uber instead?

That's probably cheaper than the hotels and the ubers Wow, there we have it folks 45 minute uber is nothing. No, it's not like I haven't done that before. We just took two hour ubers I actually technically took two two-hour ubers That's so sensitive. It still hurts. Dude, when I literally I was supposed to roll into New York and when I saw the Philly skyline again I was like, oh my God.

Shoot me now. Shoot me now. I was looking at my phone because I was trying to see if you guys beat us there. I was supposed to. And you were in Philly and I'm like, this must be wrong. Yeah. And I said to Carrie, cause Carrie is like, I think they're like five minutes ahead of us.

And I'm like, oh, so I thought it just didn't update. And then she goes, wait, they're still in Philly. And I'm like, oh, so it is updated. It was so bad. This thing is on, it's working and you're very far. Fuck, okay, back to this top comment. They also quote OP where OP said, I was pumped to do something.

And they go, so you could have stayed and danced and had fun at the reception. You want to be fucked up all night. Next time, remember to take your edible. Just sneak some stuff in your sleeve. Yeah. Next comment down. They also had cocktails at the hotel

before taking an Uber to the wedding. Dude is a crybaby for not being able to drink for a couple of hours. Yeah. He needs to grow the fuck up. Truly. Truly. Also, this is like,

if you're that pressed about not having alcohol for a couple of hours, I would really question your relationship with alcohol. Yeah. And maybe this is a time where you should consider not drinking for a minute. I don't know, like that sounds like if you need alcohol to have a good time, that's where I start to question,

like is your relationship with alcohol okay? And if you're that pressed about it, take another goddamn Uber to the hotel, rip a couple of shots and go back. Right, truly. Yeah, and that's why it's like, there's no, this is not equal. The other thing, like, would it have been nice if, you know, they gave a heads up so that people planned a little bit, you know, however they wanted to plan around that. Sure. But it wasn't

necessary. You don't need to do that for a wedding. And the response to it is just so out of control. I cannot get over the fact that he sent a Venmo request on their wedding night when they just put down so much money to invite all of their loved ones to celebrate their love. That's what you think you're going to do? Oh God, I hope the OOP responds and is like, you guys are right, I'm fucking stupid. Please tell me he says that. Well, we need to come to Jesus moment. Account has been suspended.

I don't see any comments from OP on the original post. So I'm gonna go with no, no. Someone does point out like scrolling way, way down. I have taken Ubers longer than 45 minutes and they definitely cost less than half of a hotel room. Yeah. So like that would have been our two hour Uber from San Diego.

Oh my God. I've taken a lot of long-term Ubers. Speaking of unhinged around food, that was because of that. Dude, yeah. Someone stole your Taco Bell and you're like, I'm leaving. I literally, I am unhinged. I fully recognize that.

It is okay to be unhinged. Someone ate my goddamn chicken nuggets. No, no, no. It was Taco Bell. That's probably happened before too though. But this time, someone ate my Taco Bell as I was trying to mediate a fight to keep other people from leaving. And I get back up to the Airbnb, someone ate my Taco Bell and I said, enough of this shit. I am going home. And I took

an Uber back to LA from San Diego. I was over it. I was over it. I started crying because I came home from a really tough day of high school. Obviously, this is a little bit ago. And I came back to shrimp all in the sink. And I'm like, that better not be the shrimp for my shrimp pasta. Sure was. She picked out the shrimp even. Bitch.

How could she? That was the one thing I was looking forward to the entire day is at least when I get home, I'll have my leftovers. I started crying. I cried like a little baby. Especially in high school, you don't get to like go out to dinner,

just like any old, you know. No, that Applebee's, Half Off Apps, that was rare. It was. Well, actually it was TGI Fridays, even better. Yeah. I really am craving chilies now. Damn it. Or Red Robin, Denny's.

So good. I'm so hungry. Okay, we gotta move along. Okay. One of this week's partners is Heineken Zero Zero. Heineken Zero Zero is an alcohol-free option to the original Heineken you love. It has 100% taste, but 0.0% alcohol.

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Okay. This next one is a little goofy. It is coming from r slash a I T A H titled, am I the asshole for refusing to lend my friend my house for her wedding after she asked me for a paternity test resulting in her having to cancel the wedding. My friend Sandra and I have known each other for over 20 years. We are 30 and 32. Sandra is getting married to Andres, and I am married to Ian. Some relevant information.

Andres and I originally come from the same country and even the same region. We share many characteristics. We both have very round faces, deep brown eyes, long, straight black hair, etc. If you didn't know better, you might assume we are actually siblings. I met Andres six years ago and introduced him to Sandra. He proposed to Sandra two years ago. I own a beautiful property in my home country that I was ready to lend to Sandra and Andres for their wedding.

My property is like a finca and has 10 rooms. Usually I would rent it out for weddings at a somewhat high price, but I was happy to give it to them at no cost with the condition that they hire their own catering and have their guests strip the beds when they leave. The issue. Three months ago, Sandra became more reclusive. She wouldn't answer my texts and we didn't meet up. Two weeks ago, she appeared at my door with Andres.

They sat us down, my husband included, and said that she suspected that my daughter is actually Andres's biological daughter and requested a paternity test for peace of mind. I was so shocked that I couldn't say anything. My husband lost his temper and raised his voice, telling Sandra that she was absolutely stupid. Sandra pointed out that my daughter looks like Andres. I explained that Andres and I look alike. She kept shaking her head, saying my daughter would look more like my husband and not like my exact copy.

The evening ended poorly. I agreed to the test if they paid for it. The results came back last Friday, showing that Andres was not the father. We also did a test, confirming that my husband is the father. Sandra cried and tried to hug me. I told her I didn't want to and that I didn't want to be friends with her for the time being. She kept saying her worries were justified and made a comment about, quote, women from your country being more likely to do that.

Oh, God. In that moment, I was filled with anger. I told her she could forget about using the venue and that I didn't want her in my life anymore. She started crying, but I made her leave. Her mom and she have been texting me, saying they can't find a new venue. I said no still. Twenty minutes ago, Sandra called me sobbing, saying that the wedding is off because of me. No, because of you. Am I the asshole? Should I have let her use the venue at the usual price or was what I did okay?

Sorry, she asked, I don't know which one to answer to. No, you're not the asshole and what you did was okay. Yeah, there we go. There we go. Done. This is just like, so let's just say that Sandra was going through such a hard mental time and she was just panicking and freaking out.

And this happened and then she were to say, like, I'm sorry, I'm having mental health issues and thank you for giving me that peace of mind. That was out of hand. But to follow it up. But then. I'm sorry, but people from your country, what the hell is that? It feels a little racist. It's everything bad.

Derogatory. It's so not okay. What is that? Uncalled for. What does that even mean? Which country? All the women in your country are slut. What?

What does that mean? It's so insane. I love that the husband just goes, you're stupid. Also, don't you think like for Andres, don't you think like you would consider maybe even calling this off on the fact that your wife doesn't believe you didn't cheat or your fiance?

Like your fiance is so adamant that you had an affair with her best friend that she wants a paternity test. You have bigger issues, ma'am. You shouldn't be getting married if you're so like in that mindset that your partner cheated on you. Call it off at that alone. And I'm sure he's like, babe, I didn't cheat on you. That baby is not mine. I'm sure he's saying that.

Like they had to have those conversations and she's still like, I don't believe you. I don't believe you. Why are you marrying him? Why are you still together? That's so fucking weird. So weird. She's rude though.

Like this is so rude. Oh God, yeah. I get having a mental health crisis where like you could be that paranoid. You do start having those delusions, but then blame it on yourself. Yeah. Then that comment.

Take accountability for your own, you know, whatever's going on with you. Don't push it onto other people. Also don't be so fucking delusional that you're still gonna get to use this wedding venue. Yeah. You need to understand that even broaching this subject is going to have consequences. Exactly.

This is extremely rude. This is on call for. It's so offensive. Consequences. It's, and that's, and there's, well, let's say that she did this and then she ended up being right, you know? And then it's like, oh, thank God I did this. But it's, if you're going to go to those lengths, you have to be so certain.

Like you have to be like, you have to be so certain that you know that it's going to end your friendship and the marriage. Like that's what that's what you were trying to figure out, right? So it's like, what are you thinking now that you find out that you were blaming everyone for an issue that you were dealing with and you were making it their problem. Now you just think everyone's going to be all happy Dory. Like did I make sense? I feel like I just talked in circles. Happy Dory. I like that word. That's what I picked up on. I mean the last 30 seconds, but anyway, we're all on the same page here. This is absolutely ridiculous and I know of course she's not going to let her use the venue after this.

That was so offensive how you followed that up. It's no. Common sense. Top comment, not the asshole. The wedding is off because she accused her fiance of infidelity and then insulted your and her fiance's culture by implying that women from said culture are slutty or have no respect for relationships. Maybe she shouldn't be an insecure racist. Yeah.

Okay, good. Summarized everything I was thinking. Yep, exactly. Next comment down. She basically implied that not only OP, but Andres' mother, sister, aunt's cousins are also potential slutty homewrecker. The man can't run fast enough away from this woman. Next comment, I feel really bad for him out of all of this, but at least she showed her true colors. Hopefully the relationship is off too with how she's acting. Next comment, like, well not next, it's a couple down.

Also she never even apologized. She just started crying and wanted to hug Opie like, "'Yay, you're not a slut!' And my fiance didn't get his leg over you. Let's celebrate!' Or something." I don't understand why Andres even agreed to look for a different venue instead of dumping Sandra right there.

Yeah. That's tough. We do have an edit. Ooh. We got an edit. Let's hear it. Andres was not chill about this. Ooh. We got an edit. Let's hear it. Andres was not chill about this. He seemed exasperated.

He was quite upset and basically just agreed to this so she would drop it. I didn't include it because I did not see the relevance for the conflict between me and her. Update, they are no longer together. Sandra just wrote me an email apologizing and for some reason, PayPaled me 25,6... I always get confused when it's a comma and not a dot, but I believe it's 25.67 euros. Anyways, thank you for weighing in. Why would she PayPal her that? I don't know.

Was she trying to request her in an accident? Honestly, I'm like, is that the cost of the paternity test? Didn't you say like 20 grand? No, it's 25,67 euros. I think they use the comma instead of dot. So it's like $25.67, but like euros. Oh, maybe it was the cost of the paternity test. Yeah.

Yeah, interesting. I'm Googling. A paternity test I'm seeing is like 170 euros from this website. 79 euros from this other website. So like, why PayPal her that awkward amount? I don't know. That is so weird. She's like, get a coffee on me.

That is so strange. That is a lot of Dunkies. I had a lot of Dunkin' Donuts when I was in Boston and Philly. I love the Dunkies. Yeah, I thought you said that the bathroom didn't like them though. My stomach had a bad reaction

on the first day of blueberry cold brew. It sounds so good though. It was incredible. After that first day though, I think I was so cleansed. It just couldn't happen anymore. So we were good. We were good. We were good then.

Love the Dunkies. Love that. Yeah. This is crazy. Moving along. I'm scared to laugh too much now. Why? Why?

Every time I laugh, I'm like, don't do it for too long. Because all of the hate on... I love Alyssa. She seems like a sweetheart. I couldn't listen to this episode because she was laughing too much. Are you okay? And who hurt you? They're going to now pay attention to all my laughing and be like, stop laughing and

shut up. Just shut up. Just don't say anything. Just smile and clap. It just reminds me of that monkey cymbals. Fuck. Okay, moving along to this next one. It is coming from Am I the Asshole?

Titled, Am I the Asshole for charging my roommates a clean air fee to make things more fair? Hmm. Hello, Reddit. I don't usually use this website, but my roommates told me to post on here in hopes that some outside perspective will help us settle the situation, hence the brand new account. The three of us live in a three by three and split costs equally three ways for the most part.

I have a slightly bigger bedroom, so I pay a bit more than the other two roommates in rent. However, at the moment, I feel like I'm putting more work into maintaining the environment that we all get to enjoy, and that I should be compensated fairly for that. I have over 100 different house plans throughout the apartment,

including shared spaces like the living room that I have spent hours every week and thousands of dollars caring for, purchasing and maintaining. My roommates have commented on how pretty some of the plants are, so I know that they appreciate having them around as well." Okay, immediately no. I'm sorry.

That's on you. That's your decision. No. Obviously, the presence of these plants contributes to the cleanliness of the air that we breathe in our home. With so many plants in the house, our home air quality is obviously superior to those without house plants. And with COVID and other air quality considerations, it's basically like having an in-house HEPA

air purifier. But the plants are natural, so they're even better. Because I put so much money and so many hours of work into these plants, I feel that my roommates should contribute to the financial burden by paying what we would call a clean air fee. Something reasonable like $25 a month from each roommate would really help offset the cost of things like fertilizer, new pots, soil, etc. and the time I put into taking care of the plants. I think this is an incredibly fair agreement for my roommates as they get the benefit

of living in a house with organically clean air and not doing any of the work for it. They think I'm being unreasonable and selfish. I told them that I would be willing to compromise and not charge them the fee if they would hold their breath between the front door and going to their bedrooms. Stop. You are fucking kidding me. Which isn't even far.

It's not like we live in a huge apartment. Are you okay? So they aren't breathing the plant air that they aren't paying for. They think that's stupid, but have yet to propose another reasonable compromise. So I think it's pretty clear who's being unreasonable in this situation.

So basically that's where we're at. I'm the one who everyone gives rent money to, and then I write the check to the landlord. So if we don't figure this out by the next time rent is due, it's going to be a problem. How can I get my roommates to see slash understand my side of this? You are out of your mind. You know what I would say if I was one of these roommates? I would say get rid of the plants.

Put all the plants in your room. Yeah. I don't need the plant here. No. You want your plants. This is an investment for your happiness mental health Well-being whatever you take your fucking HEPA filters and you put them in your room. I don't need the plants Literally, I would live in the rainforest cafe bitch

Go I would say that and that's that's the funny part That's why this is just this argument is so dead because it's like if they were to be like we don't want the plants get Rid of them. They're in our communal space and we don't like them here. So get rid of them. Then what do you think OP would do? OP would freak out because it's OP's passion, okay? They're not doing that for them. Exactly. This is an OP problem.

OP chose to buy thousands of plants, hundreds of plants. Even a hundred. Like I have, I only have eight plants in my house and my house is small. It's 1200 square feet. Like it's a small little house, but I have eight plants and I'm like running out of room already. Hundreds.

Yeah, that's your personal, personal. That's your, that's your personal hobby. That is not for, that's like, that's like if you and I were to start sharing a place, like if you had an extra bedroom and I'm staying with you or something and you started charging me for looking at your horse. Petting your horse. Yeah. Or like an animal, like that's like charging someone because they, they smile about my

puppy too. So you got to start paying the vet bills because you also pet the dog and I know the dog brings you joy. So you got to contribute. Yeah, that's literally what it is. Also, $25 a month, like, I'm sorry, that's one bag of fertilizer. Like plants are expensive. Yeah. So you kind of knew what you were doing there.

Yeah. And if you don't want to pay for all those plants anymore, there is a house plant market on Facebook marketplace, baby. Start selling them. You can probably make some money. I just can't believe OP is serious. The roommates are probably just like, so happy getting the response. I mean, I'm assuming and hoping all of the comments

are agreeing with me. Are they not? Oh my God. Oh, you just made a face as if. No, no, I was like, I don't know yet. assuming and hoping all of the comments are agreeing with me. Are they not? Oh my God. Oh, you just made a face as if- No, no. I was like, I don't know yet. I haven't gotten to the actual-

I just hold your breath until you get to your room is so insane. I'm sorry. That had to be a joke. That'd be satire. What? I don't think so. There is something funny. One of our friends, when she lived with like past roommates, apparently the roommate would never sweep the floors.

And so she was like, can you please sweep the floors? And the roommate said, I hardly am here. So no. And she said, well, unless you levitate from the front door to your bedroom, then you use these floors and you can sweep them once in a while too. And I thought that was so badass. That's so smart. That's so good. Yeah, no one can fucking fly there on Harry Potter. Just the fact that she had said that though, I was like, that is, that's bold. I love that. Unless you levitate,

then you can, you can contribute to. Okay. So the original post, the top comment, you're the asshole. Your roommates have no obligation to subsidize your hobby. And the next comment down, house plans have been proven to not even clean your air. And they link a study from Harvard and someone goes, but what about increased oxygen in the home? They also reply, they don't really increase oxygen in the home to any sort of benefit. They technically do release oxygen, but at such low levels to be basically negligible. A plant would have to add 8.25 pounds a day to keep up with one person's oxygen intake,

not taking into fact that they also release CO2. Yeah, I think snake plants are supposed to be... Snake plants are, yeah, they're good. Yeah. Also, this person has like a hundred plants, which is like, that's not normal, I would say. So I'm sure like they are contributing in some way given the number of them. I'd be curious to know how many plants were utilized in this study from Harvard. I'm gonna look just because I'm curious and I love fucking studies.

I really wanna know what OP's response is to people telling them that they're not correct. Account has been suspended. No. I hate when Reddit does that. Me too. I don't see any comments from OP though. So honestly, they probably ran and hide

after getting the things. I love that the roommates were like, why don't you go post on Reddit? I know, I know, they just knew. Just go post on Reddit. Let Reddit take care of it. Maybe someone from the outside would provide some clarity and tell you that you're insane.

Craziness. Moving along. Whoa. You did it better. I need to practice. Another one of this week's partners is Lumi. So picture this, I'm working on producing a podcast for a bigger celebrity.

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Use code THT for 15% off your first purchase at lumedeodorant.com. That's code THT at L-U-M-E-D-E-O-D-O-R-A-N-T dot com. This next one, haven't read the title alone. I'm kind of like, ah, I don't know. So we'll see. It is coming from A-I-T-A-H titled, am I the asshole for telling my mother-in-law that I don't want her here because my baby hates her? I Don't know what we're getting into guys a

Baby hating someone is such a funny concept. Yeah 26 female I've been with my husband since we were 14 and we just had a baby 10 months ago I have always gotten along with my mother-in-law She's a very sweet woman who would literally take the shirt off her back to make sure I am okay. I love this woman tremendously. But for whatever reason, every single time she has come over to see the baby, my daughter screams bloody murder the entire time she's here. She doesn't do this with anyone else. But literally the second my mother-in-law walks through the door and my daughter sees her, she is in my ear screaming, hyperventilating,

and inconsolable. It's literally been like this since she was born. My mother-in-law first visited when she was four days old and it was the same thing. What? We have never been super cautious about having people over to see our daughter, but like I said, she's not like that with anyone else. Like some people, she doesn't want touching her, but she never cries. My mother-in-law is just the polar opposite. She has been able to successfully hold her once without her screaming, but it was when she was holding her face away from her and my husband was entertaining her to keep her

distracted. My mother-in-law comes over once a week and honestly, I've just started completely dreading her coming here at all because I'm not kidding. My daughter screams the entire time and sometimes my mother-in-law doesn't leave for a couple of hours. It is not fun for anyone involved. Well, she came here yesterday and my husband is starting to get irritated by the fact that our daughter refuses to warm up to his mother because she's been a huge part of our lives. So he suggested that

she start coming here more often than she already does now to basically attempt to force the bond. I personally know it doesn't work like that. I mean, if the bond was going to happen right now, it would have already. She simply does not like my mother-in-law. I thought maybe it was the perfume my mother-in-law wore, so she stopped wearing perfume, but that did nothing. I told her not to wear her jewelry to see if that helped, but again, that did nothing.

I've even had her put her hair up, thinking maybe my daughter was getting overwhelmed by not being able to see her face completely, and that actually made it worse. I've told her to stop baby talking to her because she has a very high-pitched baby talk voice, but her normal voice didn't calm the baby down either. And honestly, I'm exhausted and fed up with trying. I don't think we should try. I think we need to let it go and let it form naturally. She will warm up to her eventually in her own time, but my husband is basically just not okay with it. All because my mom came here to see us for the first time last month. She lives in the UK and traveling

is hard to get to the US for her. And our daughter immediately loved her and didn't want her to set her down. So my husband felt slighted about it. And as said, he wants his mom to come over now more. Well, I usually don't mind when my mother-in-law stops by, but she came by unannounced this morning at 8 30 a.m. And I mean, I had just woken up with the baby. She had a long night teething. So I'm talking like three hours of sleep. She comes in and says that my husband told her to come over and hang out for the day.

She said she cleared her entire schedule to be here. I just kind of shook my head and said, I don't really wanna deal with the baby screaming all day long. I wish you guys had run this by me. You know I love having you here, but this whole let's force a bond bullshit is dragging me mentally. You guys should have asked me." She looked hurt and said, quote, it's okay, sweetie, I can go. And she left a few minutes later. But now my husband is mad at me insisting that this quote would have worked. So am I the asshole?

No, you can't, you can't not run that by your partner. That's just, but at the same time too, if I was the husband, I would totally want to force the bond. Like that would be- You get why he's trying. Yeah, a hundred percent. Yeah. that would be- You get why he's trying. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. It would be so frustrating to me. Like if my baby didn't like my mom, that would be so painful for me, honestly.

So I would want to do whatever I could to make that happen. But I think no matter what, if you're going to, you can't just have people come by your house unannounced. Like that's just, you have to run that by your partner. That's just an immediately like, that's where he went wrong. Yeah. Well, especially because it sounds like OP is the one staying up with the baby while, you know, it's going through this whole teething process, which, oh, nightmare. I can't just, those little teeth popping through and how much they cry and how much pain they're in. It's just,

oh. And so it's like, if he's not the one getting up and she is, then it's like, doubly like you need to communicate. For sure. Also, I'm so confused by the title now because that's why it's in this theme. Like I, in whatever she mentioned, nowhere did she tell the mother-in-law, I don't want you here because my baby hates you.

Yeah. So I'm like, ma'am, no, the way you said it was not rude. If you would have said it how the title stated, then it would have been like, I get your sentiments, you're justified in them, but like, hey, little rude in how you said it, that's not the case here. I wonder if she just wanted it to get noticed

so people would actually give her advice because that title is like a little rage baity. Yeah, yeah, It's interesting. But then again, it's also, you know, I told, I told her to leave. And then maybe talking to us because my baby hates her. Or maybe the husband is going back to her being like, you basically told my mom the baby hates her. Like you were mean to my mom.

Like maybe there's some wires getting crossed somewhere else here where people are inferring that. I feel so bad for the mom. Like I feel bad for everyone in this. Yeah, I know. But she's just like, it's okay sweetie, I'll leave. I know. And it sounds like she has an amazing, loving mother-in-law with a great relationship.

I mean, saying here... Does this happen by the way? Like, yeah, I feel like this can happen all the time. Babies go through like phases too of like, I think it's around 10 months where like stranger danger is a big thing. But they said at four days old. And I think it's just there's something about the mother-in-law. But like, why is she okay with everyone else?

I don't know. Maybe mother-in-law came into the room and scared her and it's just like subconscious in the little baby's brain. Like, I don't even begin to understand like babies and baby brain. Like did you see that one video of the baby on TikTok where the mom was like, who wants to go to the Four Seasons Orlando and this little baby who looks like eight months old, the little baby goes, I do. And everyone started this whole conversation now about like conscious babies.

That shit's fucking crazy too. Do you see the baby that was stuck? It was like a baby. It looked like a little tiny baby. And she goes, are you stuck? Yeah, stuck in between the couch. Sorry. It wasn't bad.

And then the mom goes, are you stuck? And she goes, I stuck. And I'm like, how are you speaking right now? You look like you're five days old. Just a potato. Yeah. It's crazy. So I'm like, maybe that little baby is a conscious baby. And like, just, I don't know. But I mean, there's no way as the kid grows, they're going to hate the mother-in-law forever. Like, give her time. Like when she's a toddler and like is more conscious.

Yeah, but I just, it's sad though, because I think that for, you know, the husband and then the grandma, it's like, those are special moments that they want to have. And you never know, I don't know how old like his mom is, but like you just, you never know how much time you get with anybody. And so it's like, you want to be able to have them know your baby. I feel like the way they're going about it though, isn't going to lead to a good bond. It feels like by forcing it in the way they're trying to, you could also be traumatizing this kid more.

So wild. You just don't know what impressions certain behaviors and like everything is going to make on your kid. Like they're just, their little brains are just forming. Like there's pruning, there's just so much going on up there. What do you say there's pruning? Okay. What's that mean? So when you are little and you're forming neural connections, what happens is like another thing called pruning. So if you don't use it, you lose it.

Like the brain will like cut away those neural synapses or like they just, they go away. So you want to expose your baby to as much as you can in those early formative stages. Like take them to the park, take them to the zoo, like take them everywhere, show them everything, do everything because there's such rapid brain development. That's crazy. Show them everything, do everything, because there's such rapid brain development. That's crazy. But someone's going to be in the comments being like, that's not how it happens, Morgan. But okay, just put it in the comments and let me know.

Nicely. But yeah, it's frustrating. I do get it, but not the asshole. I don't even think you were rude about it. You're dealing with a lot. You're at your wit's end. And you guys should have had a group text like, hey, can I come over?

Like, just let her get a goddamn nap in first. Top comment, have your husband take baby to mother-in-law, change the scenery and remove yourself as the baby is likely reacting to your stress at this point. Your baby can sense you better than anyone. Whoa. That's so crazy to think about. I didn't think about that.

But yeah, if the very first time that the grandma met the baby, the baby started screaming just because, and now the mom is really stressed out, I could totally see that. Then she's on edge every single time that she comes there. Every time. Wow. Did they just solve it? I don't see that. Then she's on edge every single time that she comes there. Every time. Wow. Did they just solve it?

I don't need updates. I know, we're gonna see if there's an update from OP, but that would make total sense too also, because if the mom is getting stressed, one, the baby can sense it. It's no different than a dog. If you're nervous that your dog's gonna attack, your stress is making the dog more anxious.

Babies are so in tune with moms, especially if the mom is breastfeeding. Because you, if you're stressed, you produce cortisol. That's in the breast milk. Whoa. Yeah. That's what's so crazy too. I learned about breast milk. It's like, if you're, if you're like pumping in the morning and feeding your baby the morning's breast milk,

it has like wake up chemicals versus like you should, if you're gonna pump and bottle feed and do that, you should use morning milk in the morning and then night milk for night. Because there's like melatonin and like just natural. Like that is so interesting and fascinating. Breast milk is crazy. And like if your baby's sick,

your boob knows and you produce like excess antibodies and like- Oh my God. So you just share a brain with your baby while you're breastfeeding. Literally. Yeah. Literally. It's crazy. It's such a crazy little connection. I just like... Wow. That is fascinating. Wow.

Now I'm like, I mean, my parents were three when they got divorced. Like things were on the rocks when I was born. So I'm like, maybe this makes sense why I'm such a ball of stress. Honestly, there's like so many factors that can encourage like our behaviors and like, who knows what this forcing the bond could do for the baby. The top comment on this one was have your husband take baby to mother-in-law. The next one down, dad absolutely needs to be a part of the solution. Instead of volunteering his tired, stressed out wife for more hours of sound torture, sorry OP, but that was really an asshole move on his part, he takes the baby to mother-in-law and OP stays home and has some time

to herself. Which I am such a noise person, like the door to the studio was like rattling today. I was going crazy. So like I get hearing a baby cry nonstop for hours on end. Nuts. Oh yeah, for sure. It would drive me nuts. Yeah, I've like recently developed a noise that with with dogs, like I used to not bother me, but now I'm like if there's a dog that's just consistently barking, it used to not bother me, but now I'm like, if there's a dog that's just consistently barking, like I just can feel my stress levels, I'm just on edge.

Same. It's really, yeah, it's wild. Let's see if there's any comments from OP on this one. The post is still up, so account is still up. There's only one comment from OP. Really interesting. So someone goes, not the asshole. In fact, give your husband a chance to prove his theory. You step out for a few hours and let him have fun with a screaming baby. Next comment down, this could work. As a mother of three kids, sometimes you need to step away and let dad

handle things. She needs to get used to having more than just you to comfort her and be her safe space. She is also feeding off of your energy and feels your anxiety. Try leaving before your mother-in-law gets there and letting your husband take care of it. You get some needed me time. Also, your mother-in-law could come over more often and just try being there without interacting with the baby. She will eventually get curious of why grandma isn't trying to talk to her. Babies are so hard. Just keep doing your best. with the baby, she will eventually get curious of why grandma isn't trying to talk to her. Babies are so hard, just keep doing your best. Not the asshole, by the way.

Babies are, they seem very difficult. They freak me the fuck out. OP responds, I can't even do that. Well, technically I could, but I'm the only one who can calm her down when she's like that and she is a breath holder. If I walk away, she more than likely would hold her breath until she passed out and the idea of that literally terrifies me.

I didn't know babies could do that. That sounds... What is up with this baby? Next comment down goes, blow in the baby's face when she does that. It will make her take a breath. It's like a dog. Actually, now that I think about it, I do remember my niece,

sometimes she would cry when she was little and she wouldn't breathe. You could see her just like, she was silently crying. Dude. little and she like wouldn't breathe. You could see her just like, she was silently crying. Like dude, to me sometimes when I have a panic attack, it's just relatable. Yesterday. Yeah, that's really interesting. I do think like hearing this too, where it's like, I'm the only one that can calm her down. Take it with a grain of salt, don't have kids, don't have a baby, haven't been pregnant,

don't breastfeed, whatever. I don't know how any of this fucking works. But it does seem like there could be kind of an issue with that. Like if you're the only one that can get the baby to calm down, you're the, like, she should be able to like have a bond with her dad. And like, that could be something where you might want to address to like, increase a secure

attachment to both parents. Right. I don't know. I'm not a child psychologist. Oh, neither am I. Moving along. Moving along. Yeah, there's no other comments from OP, no updates. But I would love an update on this one. Like, hey, we took advice and here's what happened with our baby and now we're like, everything's great. Love it. I know. Cause you do want a happy ending on this one. Me too. You do.

I did take a child psychology class when I was in high school and it was one of my favorite classes. So crazy. And honestly, I really would love to take high school classes again. Not college, cause I don't really want to go there. But it's more fun when it's like stuff you're seeking out on your own to learn about versus being forced.

Like even if it was a college class, because you can audit college classes for free. Really? Yeah. How? You just sign up as an auditor. You don't get credits, you don't like earn towards a degree, but it's free. They offer it for seniors in a lot of places to keep like seniors engaged in the community and learning.

I love that. I know, so you can audit for free at a lot of places. I honestly want to, because I just need to sharpen a few skills of mine. I'm down, I'm down. I'll join with you. As long as it's not a dinosaur class, cause that sounded way too hard.

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Okay, this one is titled, Am I the Asshole for Not speaking Japanese after living here for six years? I, 34 female, met my 33 male husband online and we got married six years ago. I moved from my home country to live with him in Japan since then. He is Japanese and has a stable job here. On the other hand, I am a freelance illustrator so I was okay moving. Every day I use English with him. Maybe you notice already, but English is not my first language. So it is not perfect, but neither is my husband's English, but at least we can communicate. I tried my best to learn

Japanese to be able to communicate with his friends and family, but Japanese is not an easy language. I have to learn how to read kanji, hiragana, and katakana from zero all by myself. During COVID-2020, we got money from the government and he bought me some books and dictionaries, telling me to learn the language more intensively during the lockdown. He didn't teach me anything though. He said since I could speak four languages, adding one more language should be easy for me. I tried, but it is never good enough for him. He always said my grammar sucks, but I do always have problems with grammar. As you can see, my English grammar sucks too.

He said I should be able to speak like a native at this point. So last year, summer 2022, I decided that I would get a part-time job at a restaurant so that I can practice more of my Japanese. To my surprise, the staff there like me, and they can understand my Japanese. I also now could read and write several kanjis. I could write my own address with kanjis and read menus. Last week, we had a family dinner with his family. During the dinner, I made some grammar mistake, which was not actually quite bad because everybody still understood what I was trying to say.

But my husband says in front of my family, quote, I was stupid for not understanding the correct grammar. It makes me upset because he said it in front of everyone. So I said in English, quote, your English is not better than me. And you can't speak my language. Why do you call me stupid? He was so pissed off and won't talk to me since then. Am I the asshole? No, he is. How rude. So rude. To call her out like that during dinner. He also just sounds like one of those controlling husbands where, you know, we know somebody who literally like, was married to somebody who would freak out on them

if they didn't go to the gym. Like would, if they were out of town, they would like watch like their, their dot, what do you call it? Their find my friends and make sure that they went to the gym. What the fuck? Yeah, that's what this gives like,

I know this isn't as intense as that, but that's what that feels like. It just feels like unnecessarily. That's really unhealthy. Mean. Yeah, that's really, really unhealthy. Oh, I don't like it. And it's like, I like OP's comment where it's like,

I speak four languages, your English isn't better than mine, and you're calling me stupid. Yeah, yeah. So it sounds like he knows Japanese and English, languages, your English isn't better than mine, and you're calling me stupid. Yeah. So it sounds like he knows Japanese and English. She now knows Japanese, English, and two other languages. And he hasn't made an effort to learn her native tongue. Yeah.

Where's the... Do you not see the hypocrisy, the double standard there, sir? Wild. How rude to embarrass in front of like all of his family. To call someone stupid for knowing four different languages is just out of control. It's absurd. Top comment. Not the asshole. Your husband is an asshole though for sure. For sure. Even if you understand multiple languages, doesn't mean learning another is any easier. He definitely should have helped you too. I think what hindered you overall is not practicing. From the sound of it, once

you got that part-time job and was forced to speak more, then your Japanese improved. So honestly, he should have spoken more Japanese at home. Also curious if he's making any effort to speak your native tongue. L.P. responds, he said he doesn't need to learn my native language because we don't live there. My parents don't speak English and Japanese, so I beg him to at least try to communicate with my family. But he said his brain has no capacity for that. What a stupid asshole. Literally. I'm not learning your language because we don't live there.

What if we visit my family? Do you not want to communicate? Oh my God. He is so selfish. So self-centered. The world revolves around him, his family. OP has made so many sacrifices. And that's crazy to me that they don't practice

Japanese at home when it's his native tongue and he could help. Yeah. Hey, babe, let's cook dinner tonight and only speak Japanese, we'll prepare the meal. Like, that's the best way to fucking learn. Yeah. That's, I feel like that's normal for couples to do that. Why do you think that he is behaving this way? What do you think is going on in his head?

I feel like he thinks he's better than OP. I feel like he's really arrogant. I don't know if it's like a control. I don't, it feels controlling as well. Do you think maybe he feels like not intimidated but threatened by the fact that she knows more languages so he's trying to make her feel dumb about it? Probably, probably.

I think a lot of times people get threatened over the silliest things, and it comes out in weird ways, and I could see him being threatened. I think when speaking about like heterosexual like relationships, I think a lot of times guys are more threatened by successful women or women that are more intelligent than them or like whatever. Like there is a study that says the more intelligent a woman gets, the harder it is for her to find a partner. Me and Alejandro were talking about that because we're so smart. It's literally a thing.

But like, but now we were talking about that. There's studies with money too. Money is a big issue. Big issue. So I could see that being a thing. We do have an edit from OP. He is not a bad guy. I love him so much. He is just very outspoken. If he dislikes something, he would say it right away. He never comments about my body or looks, but he is very sensitive about my skills. He often criticized my art style and other skills. He said I am lazy. There is no excuse not

to master the language since I am living here for almost six years now. Maybe this is me trying to defend myself. But last year I got my N3 slash JLPT, Japan Language Proficiency Test, Level 3 certification. He said it must be out of luck because my Japanese is very rough. And he said I should have gotten the level one already because I have been here for so long. He's kind of just gaslighting her. Yeah, pull the plug. He doesn't sound like he's your guy.

He's like really gaslighting. There is someone that will treat you much better. We have an update on this one. What's the update? So we got divorced. Oh, she listened to me. Just kidding. Pull the plug.

That was quick. Just kidding. I think about it, well, when was this original post? No, I was making a joke because I told her to pull the plug and then it just happened like that. So the original post was seven months ago. This update is coming from a month ago. Ooh. I think about it more and more and I feel like the six years has been hell for me. The original post was seven months ago. This update is coming from a month ago.

I think about it more and more and I feel like the six years has been hell for me. I'm tired of trying to find any reason to think he is good for me. I found a full-time job in Japan with a company and started working there from last January. Everybody in my new company said I speak Japanese very well and so far I'm doing great. I rented my own apartment and I'm surviving by my own just fine in Tokyo. Albeit my ex-husband saying that I would never be able to survive in Japan without him. I have a crush on another guy but I'm taking it slowly. Thank you all for your comments to me. I am so glad I posted here.

Aww. Why does that make me want to cry? It's beautiful. Power of Reddit and the community coming together. Because in that edit on the original post, she went from defending him to now being like, no, I see, I didn't deserve that. I'm done. I'm sick of defending him is what she said. It was awesome.

I'm tired of trying to find a reason that he's good for me. Yeah. I love that. There is another edit on this post. of trying to find a reason that he's good for me. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I love that. There is another edit on this post. I only use Japanese in the company I work for now and earn almost the same amount with my ex-husband despite just working here for four months.

My crush now speaks only Japanese and we communicate just fine. I am confident now. Another long edit because I am surprised that I got so many responses. Thank you so much for the support. Just to clarify, of course the reason of my divorce is not only because of the language thing. I kept saying my ex was a good person.

And I still think that he is a good person, but he is not treating me right. There was a lot of things he had done to me that had harmed me physically and mentally. Oh, wow. Ma'am, so happy you're out. Yeah. Before I was with him, I was also doing modeling for side jobs.

I took good care of myself. But after I married him, he said that my looks didn't matter and he disliked me dressing up or putting on makeup because he thought a married woman should not attract other men. Yep, that's, I told you, see, I was onto it with the controlling thing.

I knew it. I did what he wanted and I kept telling myself, oh this man loves me the way I am no matter how I look. But then I found out he was following sexy girls on Instagram and Twitter. Oh my god. He never chatted them so I let it slide, but I kept thinking about it. Especially since he never said anything positive about my looks. Basically he never said anything positive about my effort except for my cooking. Oh my god. I started he never said anything positive about my effort except for my cooking. Oh my God.

I started to feel unconfident. I got depressed and had to take antidepressants. Then I gained 20 kilograms in six years. He was doing that on purpose to keep you under his thumb to make you think you couldn't leave. You're not good enough for anyone else. You're lucky to have him. He wanted you to feel small so that he could feel bigger.

Now, after we got divorced, I don't have to take my antidepressants anymore. I already lost 15 kilograms. I started talking to some guys until I met my crush right now. I was surprised because my crush now always said that I look good and nice. He noticed when I changed my hairstyle or nails says I smell nice and compliments me when I do good things at work. Oh, and that's what you deserve. Why am I going to cry? The other people also said that I look super good now and I look so much happier. I love this transformation.

I want to show you my pictures so you can see the difference between when I was single and married and became single again, but I know there's a chance some of you might recognize me and then would recognize who is my ex-husband and it would cause problems for him. Anyways, how I learned Japanese is by listening to some songs, movies, and other people. And when I can't understand some words or phrases, I would find it in a dictionary based on how I hear it. I guess a lot of people were asking how OP was learning the language.

Yeah. But that's irrelevant. She's got it down now. It's all good. I would be curious how the husband took the news that she was getting divorced from him. Probably not well. Yeah. Once again, thank you for the support.

Please wish me luck for my career and my life ahead. I also wish the best for all of you. May you have learned something from my experience and may be useful for you, or at least it could give you good feelings when you read this update. Yeah. Cheers. I did. I love that.

I do too. I absolutely love that for OP. Wow. You know what? This is kind of a random thought, but I always think about this now, because when I was in Argentina, this guy that we were all friends with was saying how much funnier he is in Spanish. So he's like, it's annoying

because I'm so much funnier in Spanish and you guys will never know because you don't speak Spanish. And now I always think about that. I'm like, wow, it is kind of crazy because I'm not fluent in another language. So I don't know what that would be like to be fluent in multiple languages, but one of them comes way more

naturally to you. So you're quicker, you know, like on with what you say, which would probably make it likely that you'd be funnier in that language, you know? So I was, I always think about that now. I'm like, who, who's the other version of you? I know. I think that's really funny when it comes across in like music too, like how it doesn't translate very well a lot of you. I know. I think that's really funny when it comes across in music too, how it doesn't translate very well a lot of times.

There's this girl that has a series translating Bad Bunny lyrics to English. And it's like, if there's one, I just had to Google it because it's so funny. If I don't text you, you don't text me. A. If you want me to, I'll pick you up. I know where you live. Perhaps today you're upset. And there you live. Perhaps today you're upset. And there's one. Perhaps today you are upset.

Perhaps today. And there was one, I thought it was like about a cow or something and it was like, go moo, moo, like moo. And I was like, but it's such a bop when you hear it in Spanish, but then you hear like the English translation, you're like, yeah, this, yeah, it's so much better in Spanish. Like language is, when it's like intended, when it's used how it's intended,

like it sounds so much beautiful-ler than when it gets translated a lot of times. Language is fascinating to me. That's why I always think that people who know multiple languages are so smart, because I just, I think it's, I think it's so cool. I just wish that when I was a baby, it was taught to me because I know I could take classes and I could get much better, but there's, you're never going to have that like true

natural ability as if I were to learn when I was a kid. I think people can get really close though. Like I've been doing Babble and practicing on that is like, I feel like I'm like getting back into the flow of like, when I was using Spanish a lot in high school and college. It's not the same as emerging, immersing yourself in another country. Like, chill our friend. Like, I feel like she is so close to being so fluent. Yeah.

And it's because she lived in another country with a family for months. Yeah. But her Spanish even now, it's like, it's crazy. When we go to Mexico and she'll just start whipping it out. And people like, everyone does double takes because she's the most like gringa, like air quotes, like white blonde girl. And she is fluent.

She's really good. It's so beautiful, so impressive. And I'm very envious of that. I want to get to that. I would love that. Yeah, I know that that is, that's one of my high school classes I'm very envious of that. I want to get to that. Like it's just so cool. I would love that. Yeah, I know that that is that's one of my high school classes I'm going to take. So college class, I guess. But no, I would love to be better because I just think it's so it's such a cool skill

to be able to speak multiple languages. Yeah. Okay, I'm giving you a choice on the last one. Okay. This first one is titled, Am I the asshole for telling my husband's kids how broke he was when we met? After they insinuated I was a gold digger? Or am I the asshole for telling my friend

it's not my problem she married a useless man? Or last one, sorry, there's actually three. Am I the asshole for not appreciating the surprise getaway my husband planned? Gold digger, useless man, Am I the asshole for not appreciating the surprise getaway my husband planned? Hmm. Gold digger, useless man, not appreciating surprise getaway. I want to say the first one. Gold digger. OK, we got it.

But no, trust your gut. This one is three days old, coming from Am I the asshole? Again, titled Am I the assholehole, again titled, Am I the Asshole for Telling My Husband's Kids How Broke He Was When We Met After They Insinuated That I Was a Gold Digger. I've 38 female, been married to my husband, Rob, 52 male for four years now. My husband's late wife died one year before we met,

and we dated two years before getting married. He has two kids, 28, Madison, and 26, Brett. Note, I am not calling them my stepkids because they explicitly told me I am not their stepmom. I am just their dad's wife. I didn't play a part in raising them, so I'm okay with that. It's always been tense between us. I've tried my best to be kind to them and have been generous when I can be, but they are still very cold with me. Being a child of divorce, I can partially relate to a parent moving on, so I try not to force anything." Madison recently got engaged, and we are very excited about it. Everyone was over recently,

and she asked about a wedding budget from us, and Rob told her he was able to contribute $10K. She had bigger hopes for her wedding than this, so she was upset and kept asking for more. Rob, however, is still working hard on building his savings back up. Before his late wife died, he basically wiped out his cash savings, had to cash out his 401K, and even took a small mortgage on his house

to cover medical costs, as well as life expenses, since he had to cut back on working. Eventually, he had to drop that job for a more flexible but lower paying one. So this 10K is actually really generous for him. Rob went to run an errand and it was just me and his kids. Madison then asked me if I'm going to give any addition to what her dad is giving. I told her we were a marital unit and that's what we discussed together as a reasonable

amount to contribute. She then said, quote, I should have known. Obviously you married an older man for what he had, not for what you could give. I knew she didn't like me, but this is the most flat-out rude thing she has ever said. What a brat. You were too old to be acting like that. 28. 28, ma'am. I kind of lost it and said, quote, excuse me? Who do you think has been paying the second mortgage your dad took out to pay his debts. Truth of the matter is I make more

than her father by a large margin. I have no debt and have been paying 70% of the household bills the whole time we've been married. The 10k we are giving her is available because I've been able to subsidize her father's living expenses for the last few years. Did she tell her all this? I hope so. I made it clear that not only am I not a gold digger, I am literally wealthier than my older husband. She called me stuck up after this and stormed out. What a brat. Then she called her dad later and said that I told her

that I blamed her mother for being sick for her not having a better wedding budget. I told him what happened and he was mad at her, but also said I shouldn't have shared his financial details with his kids." Why not? It's the truth of the matter. Why not? Tell the truth.

And also it's like, why would you, your daughter is going to think that you are just like stiffing her if you don't tell her. Why would you not want her to know? You know what I mean? Me in like, why would you want, not want her to know how generous the 10 grand is that he's giving because of what he's working with? This is above and beyond.

You are not entitled to anyone else's money for your wedding. If you can't afford what you want, you need to scale it back. That is not anyone else's problems, but your own. Plan for what you can afford. And if you can get money, that is a beautiful gift. If you can't plan for what you can afford. Bottom line. I could not agree more. And I just, I know that I'm not going to get much money from my parents. If anything, I mean, I don't know. We haven't discussed that, but like, I, I

just think it's so wild to me how many people think that they're entitled to having their parents pay for their wedding. Why? That is a gift. Why? You're an adult. Why? Like, why do you think that you're entitled to that? My mom like wants to buy my dress

and that's something I'll let her do because that's like a beautiful thing for her. If they want to. Other than that, I'm not taking any money. Yeah. I don't want any money. Yeah, right, right. And it's like, if they want to, Unless they like really want to

and there's no strings attached and it makes them feel good, then sure, you guys can pay for the meal or like whatever. But otherwise like, no. Yeah. Like, no. I totally agree. And I'm like, and that's a privilege.

That is fully a privilege to be able to do that. But it's not an expectation from me. That's, well, yeah. And the thing is, is that like, I just, I would, I would have like a court wedding before I would go and get pissed off at like other people for not paying for my wedding. Yeah. I just, I just don't understand why it's the expectation because it is, it's like very traditional and I'm like, why? I don't get why it is. And if you do have people that can and want to pay for you, that's fantastic.

I'm not saying anything bad about that. Like, take it, go for it. Like, that's fantastic. But to expect it and then be pissed off and moody and say when you're not getting enough. Yeah, it's just like it's goofy. I don't understand it. I think in some sense, it probably comes from the tradition of the bride's family paying a dowry.

It does. It comes from that, but I'm like, but why? But we're also in 2024 now. Exactly. Traditions change. Yes. It can be equally paid, you know, to each their own, but to expect it. And then like, ma'am, you just found out she makes more money than your dad, and then you

call her stuck up and storm out. And then you go to your dad and lie. Your mom was not mentioned. And it is, I feel for them to not have your mom there. You lost your mom due to like an illness. That's fucking tragic. That sucks. That's probably like really bringing it into perspective again and like cutting open that wound because you're getting married and your mom won't be there.

But that doesn't mean you can take it out on this other person, especially because you made it very, very, very clear to this person. You're not my stepmom. You're not anything but my dad's wife. So why do you expect to get money from her? Totally. That 100%. And I have a problem with the husband not defending her. That is the reality. Honey, I love you. I'm sorry you're upset that I can't contribute more. But the reality is your mom was really, really sick. And medical bills are the number one cause of bankruptcy

in the United States. And I was barely, barely able to keep afloat.at. It's lucky I have 10K to give you. Let's try to see how we can really stretch it and make it go further. Exactly. Nailed it. Defend your wife. This is not anything to do with her. The reason I have 10K to give you is because of her generosity and paying for a mortgage that might not go anywhere. That house might go to his kids. That house might not, OP might have her husband die

and then she's left finding a new house. Like we don't know what this will is. We don't know what the prenup was if there is one. So OP as of right now in my head is very fucking generous. Wow, I'm pissed about this one. You nailed it. This is very rude. I didn't have to add to it. You one. You nailed it. This is very rude. I didn't have to add to it.

You just, you nailed it. No. Top comment, not the asshole, but you have to know that you're either stuck up or a gold digger to a child, even an adult one who has determined to make you a wicked stepmother. OP responds, that's exactly why I thought I needed to tell her the truth. I'm just tired of that trope. Exactly. And that's the, you got to clear your name.

At some point, I would too. I would, I would say something too. If someone called me a gold digger when I was supporting my partner like that, I would absolutely speak up. I'm clearing my name. I feel like there's times in life where it's like, you can either be the bigger person or you can let the truth come out and clear your name. And I feel like if you're the one being thrown under the bus and your name is being dragged through the mud, you have every right to clear your name.

Absolutely. I know. That's why it's annoying the husband's like, you shouldn't have discussed my finances. It's like, well, it was me discussing my finances. It has to do with me. I'm being affected by it and I have every right to talk about it. So sorry. Yeah. I'm really affected by it and I have every right to talk about it. So sorry. Yeah. I'm really frustrated by this one. I think that he didn't want her to do that. It's probably like an ego thing too. You know, just like-

It's embarrassing. Yeah. It's embarrassing. Especially like as an older male, like I know my dad is kind of close to him in age. He's 52. My dad is 65 now. When my dad wasn't able to get money and I was paying for things, it was a really sore subject for him.

Like a lot of that generation, their ego, their self-worth is tied to how much they can make or produce for their family. Because society has continued to enforce that idea. It's just, it's sad that it's like it's like that. But yeah next comment down good. She's old enough to hear it and this is also a practical step It's important that she and her sibling understand his financial standing not to be a downer But eventually if he passes hopefully not for a long time. You don't want to be facing Accusations that you've robbed of an inheritance.

Yeah. I would really after this conversation, I would start having these conversations about like, hey, what does our future look like? What if you get sick? What if you die before me? What happens to the house that I'm paying towards? What do we, you know, what about a will? Like, because of this, I think this is a really good time to start having these conversations. I completely agree. Okay, I'm going to see if there's any comments from OP before we wrap this up. So OP replies to someone, you're probably right. Truth is, marrying someone older tends to lead to some heavy accusations. And I'm just a little tired of it.

In the moment, I figured I should have set her straight, especially since she's an adult, not a teenager. She sounds like she's 18. Very immature. Yeah. I can't imagine having someone give me 10K, which is life-changing for a lot of people. 10K is like a year's worth of rent for some people. Oh yeah. 10K is a new car for someone to be able to get to work.

Like 10K is so much money and to just be like, that's not enough. You're an entitled little brat. Yeah. And if you're making a hundred K a year, let's just say, and then you still have taxes and whatever is coming out of it. It's like 10K is more than 10% of what you make for an entire year, if you want to put that into perspective.

It's a lot of money. Because it's, I mean, after taxes, I don't know how much, what percent that would be, but like, if you think about it that way, it's a lot of money to just hand over to someone for one day. Do you know what I mean? So I, that's why I have this whole thing with weddings. I think they're beautiful and fantastic, but I just hate how much they cost. It's crazy.

It's crazy. Crazy. I'm like nervous, but I'm like, it's fine. At least I save on the venue. We're going to do food trucks. It should be okay. It's going to be okay. Okay, so one last comment that OP does have is in response to a comment that says, you guys, specifically you, need to have a will in place and segregated money. Normally, I'm against separate finances, but his kids are 100% going to come after you and your money if your husband passes, including the home you should have equity in at this point. You should work with a financial planner

and a state attorney to make sure your assets are protected from his kids. Kids from a prior marriage are entitled to some of their parents' estate in most states, so it's important you do this. OP responds, my name has been added to the deed since I've paid so much of the equity. We have wills, all family mementos are going to his kids.

But besides that, all real assets are going to the surviving spouse for when either of us die. There's really not much in his name, though. His net worth is about flat right now. We do not live in a state where kids are entitled to a percentage. Only person you can't disinherit here is your spouse. We haven't told the kids this, but we are likely going to move to downsize in the next year or so.

We want to move somewhere warmer. That way we can have a fresh start together somewhere new. Nice. But I will say, I do have a problem with that. Why? He needs to tell his kids now so that, hey, down the road, they're not shocked. They're not fighting with the step mom.

Truly, yeah. Because like, if he does pass before her, she doesn't deserve to have to go through that. No. On top of dealing with the grief of losing a spouse. Yeah. A spouse. A partner spouse.

Yeah. A spouse. We're done here. Great episode, guys. I hope. And it's over. It's done. I will. And it's over. It's done. I will say those last two stories I read for Lauren to pick from are going on our Patreon. We're going to record some Patreon content right after this. So you'll still get them.

We're going to kind of keep going with the- Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I got confused. I thought you were saying the last two stories you just read to me were going on Patreon. And I was like- No, no, no, no, no, the other two options. Got it, got it, got it. The surprise getaway and useless man. So those will be on our Patreon if you want to hear them. But thank you guys so much for being here. Another episode. I cannot wait to hear your thoughts

in the comments on these ones. These were really good ones. Yeah, I liked this one. This was a fun theme. I feel like a lot of them were like home run answers too. So I hope. I always worry because honestly you know I'm trying to say things. I'm trying to speak. From the heart. Well I was going to say I'm trying to like say things for you guys. You know like I,

for example, when there was a homeschooled one, I was trying to be really sensitive thinking like, oh, I don't want to hurt anyone that's listening, is feeling who's homeschooled or is homeschooling their children. And then I ended up like offending teachers that go in school and I'm like, damn it, I'm just trying to do this for you guys. It really is for you at this point.

Like it really is about you guys in the community and like making this a fun, safe, happy space and everyone feeling like they can chime in and say their takes and all of that. But at the same time, we do need to be true to our takes and our experiences because if we're just conflating what we're saying to what you guys want to hear, then it starts to become unnatural. That's not fun either. So we are going to have different opinions on this show.

Like we're almost 200 episodes in. I would be concerned if we didn't have different opinions. Yeah. Like that's just the reality. But head over to Patreon. It's going to be a good fucking time. And thank you for joining us. Until next time.

Bye. Goodbye, bye. Goodbye friends. you