Two Hot Takes - 17: With Friends Like These...

Episode Date: May 20, 2021

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host, Lauren! We're getting in to friends and friendships... love them and supportive social circles, but sometimes they can come with some issues. We start this episode off with some listener write ins! Stories include a woman whose friend’s boyfriend is being very disrespectful, and another woman whose boyfriend’s friend is getting married and she doesn’t know if she should go to the wedding… On to the Reddit stories.. Stories include a guy who helped his friend in a time of need and his girlfriend is mad, a woman who was doing her friend a favor and got a fine in the process, a guy whose (girl) friend crossed some boundaries and got changed in front of him, an individual who is getting push back for not attending their friends home birth, a woman whose SIL is trying to hook her friend up with her husband, a woman whose friend sort of hijacked her wedding and photographer, and a woman who has a "house spouse" and her friends are not okay with it.  We got through a lot.. and definitely didn't want to exclude anyone from these great stories so support is much appreciated: https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes

The Invigorating Performance Machine is now at Tim Daly Mazda Murray, the 2024 Mazda CX-90, and for a limited time, Tim Daly Mazda Murray has 3.9% financing on the 2024 Mazda CX-90, making it so easy to get your new Mazda. So don't wait, head to Tim Daly Mazda Murray today, and get your brand new 2024 Mazda CX-90 with 3.9% financing, and own your own Invigorating Performance Machine. You said my best friend, Andra. You didn't say that I'm mine. Well, I don't know. The introduction one at the first episode was kind of enough. Like, it's clear you're one of my best friends. Well, not clear enough for you. Put it in writing, and we'll talk. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes.

I'm your host, Morgan, and I'm Lauren, which, speaking of friends, we're here today to talk about friends, friendships, and with friends like these, and some of these stories, with friends like these, who needs them? I don't know what your stories are, but the ones that I found actually doesn't make sense. Yeah, yours weren't happy either. Yeah, I know, but I don't, we actually really tried, you guys, to find wholesome, happy friend stories, but when people turn to Reddit, you are in desperate need of advice, and help, and just an opinion on your problems. So finding positive, happy friendships to worries was very difficult. And I'm going to be honest, I don't know if we have any today. So. So, but mine are a little bit different,

because they're not, it's a question of the friendship, but a lot of them are also bringing in the significant other into the picture too. Yeah, a lot of mine as well. Yeah. So not all of the friendships are bad in mine. There's just some turmoil going on in some way, shape, or form. Okay. But me and Morgan's are not hard. We've never gotten a single fight in our entire lives. That's a, that's a bold face lie. Yeah, it is. No, I feel like every friendship like has its own battles, its own fights, and you almost, you need little tips here and there to grow and become better friends and support each other better. It's how you communicate after the fact. Exactly. Recognize each other's feelings, acknowledge, listen. I'm sure there's an acronym

out there somewhere, but yeah, friendships. Let's get into these. There's some crazy ones today. Friends, friendship. I don't know. I feel like friends, especially as you get older, with having friends living in different cities now and being so far apart from a lot of our college friends, like friendships can be very hard to maintain, especially if people get significant others and just kind of we all end up going down our own little life paths, which is totally fine and some friendships you will grow. But I don't know if this is just me, but I feel like there's a lot of pressure to, especially at our age, to have good, solid friendships. Do you feel like that ever? Or is that something that even crosses your mind? I've never really thought about that,

to be honest. Yeah, I don't know why. And this is like, I always see these ADHD videos on TikTok because I'm targeted appropriately, I guess. But I saw this one video where it was like, if you've ever, do you constantly question if your friends really like you? Do you ever hang out with a group of your friends and wonder if you even fit in? And I'm like, fuck. And then I saw another video recently that talked about being the least favorite friend. Oh my god. You can have so much trauma associated with that. And it's like, were you the friend that, if there was five of you, and were you the one that always got asked to take the picture? Or if there were six friends and five fit in a car, were you the one that always worried

about getting left out? And I'm like, literally still. What? Yeah, still. And I'm like, when we're about to call like Ubers and like UberXLs, I'm always just like, please, someone pick me. Aw. Is that what they mean by pick me girls? No, those are not pick me girls. These are just sad are my friends, my friends girls. What is a pick me girl? We're going to get into pick me girls on another episode. I'll save it for that. But essentially just like a girl that goes out of her way to like show up other girls so that guys will pick her, guys will find her more attractive. Like she'll put other girls down or kind of like agree with like a man's perspective over what, you know, a perspective that would

benefit her as a woman. So pick me girls just kind of sacrifice their own. Damn, that's not what I thought. I would see it in comments. Yeah. You know, top comments on TikTok and I never looked into it. Yeah. And for some reason, I never got the for you that showed me what it meant. Yeah. That's a pick me girl. But friendships. Yeah. So I have just a lot of friendship trauma. I think too. I've had some bullying experiences and having to cut really toxic friends out. So this is like my topic. I'm a content expert on this one. I posted a story like on our Instagram account and was like, does anyone have any questions or problems or stories like they want to talk about in regards to friends? And this one that got written in by one of the fam like really

struck a chord with me. So they go, my best friend's boyfriend and I don't get along. I've tried everything. But recently at her birthday party, I wore a crop top and he out loud made comments in front of her and everyone there about me, looking like a high end escort, looking like I was wearing a towel, called me a whore and slutty and made jokes all night at my expense for a party that I spent time and money on for her. And she didn't defend me and laughed along with him. And when I brought it up to her the next day about how hurt I was, she just fed me his lame ass excuse. Not sure how I should feel about the six year friendship now. What a dick. Yeah, I can understand if he just said one comment and he thought he was being funny

and then it kind of took it back and realized that, yeah, maybe that's not a cool thing to say. And then, you know, and then move on from there, but he clearly is a fucking asshole. Calling someone a high end escort is, I don't know, like you have to really know there's never, I can't even picture a situation where that rolls off the tongue and everyone starts laughing. You look like a fucking slut. Like, yeah, right. Especially party. Yeah. I'm trying to think because I know sometimes people make stupid jokes intended just to be playful. And so that's why I'm trying to think how he could have phrased it in a way that maybe was a little bit more trying to just be like playful with her. I can't picture one. I like, especially

that he didn't have any remorse after the first initial comment and then going. Yeah, and he could probably see that she wasn't having fun with it. She didn't like it. Why don't you stop? That's when you realize it's time to backtrack. Yeah. What do you think about the friend though? What a bitch. Laughing along. Yeah. First of all, I would never date someone that would talk about my friends in this way. I think that in itself is a big red flag, but if I was in this situation and my boyfriend got super drunk and was just being a goofball and said something like this about my friends, he immediately would get called out. I would immediately say, hey, that's not acceptable. Pull her aside. Have a chat. Be like, are you okay? Like,

do we need to mix in a water? Do we need to go take a nap? What is going on with you? Because that's not okay to let your boyfriend, man, husband, whatever, ever talk about your friends like that. I even, Jeff one time was jokingly calling out Alejandra because with her dirty shoes stepped on my yoga mat that he just had bought for me. And he's obsessed with Aloe now. So he's like wanted to cherish it. And even that I snapped back at Jeff and I was like, don't, I don't care if you're joking. I was like, just don't. And Alejandra was like, no, it's okay. It's funny. Like I feel the exact same way. So it was fine. But I just can't imagine not checking my boyfriend if he like spoke to my friend in any way that, you know, was not okay.

Well, and that's the one thing I think our friend group is really, really good about. I think we all really cherish our friendships. And I guess we have all like, we all go through those phases when you get a new boyfriend or you get, you know, a new partner, you're always like in this honeymoon phase initially. But I think one thing about our friend group that we've always been really good about is making sure we're still putting an effort and maintenance into our relationships and our friendships. And we are very good about just taking care of each other and, you know, being very supportive and having each other's backs at the end of the day. So I can't even imagine this because six year friendship is like a decent length for a friendship.

Like, so, I don't know, I think it's really unfortunate. I replied back and I was just like, your friend, like, sounds like she's trying to be like a cool girl for some reason. Like, you know, the gong girl, the cool, like the cool girl gong girl, like in gong girl, the movie, she describes like what a cool girl is. She's like the girl that goes along with everything, laughs at his jokes, tries to be cool and chill and hang with the guys. Yeah, I only saw that movie once and I kind of blocked it from my memory. So. Yeah, you get traumatized by that. I do. But yeah, definitely not acceptable. I think if this was me and my friend, I would,

I don't think you need to like, necessarily cut her out. I don't know if it's to that point for you, but yeah, I guess it's like if she comes to her senses and realizes that it, you know, because the fact that she was just kind of responded with feeding excuses, you need to acknowledge where you went wrong. Like I said, I understand sometimes people make jokes that don't go correctly or go the way that they wanted to, but this sounds like it was not, this was a whole different level of disrespect. Yeah, I think I would just put some distance, like between you and this friend, because at the end of the day, she doesn't sound like she's being the best one. So might as well try to focus on other relationships that might be healthier.

So this is another one sent in by a listener and she literally created a little am I the asshole title? Oh, so she goes, am I the asshole for not wanting to go to my boyfriend's best friends wedding? All the names are fake. I've been with my boyfriend, Jimmy for a year and a half, and we've been living together for six months now. I love him so dearly, and we have a great relationship. He has a rather large friend group, and I get along with pretty much everyone. There's this girl though, Steph in the group, who is basically the leader of his friend group, and her and her fiance, Rob, are best friends with my boyfriend since high school. They are also best friends with my boyfriend's ex girlfriend of five years, Jane. Jimmy, who's the

boyfriend, introduced Jane to the friend group, and when they broke up, she never left. It used to bother me, but Jane's always been nice to me. And honestly, Jimmy and her don't really talk at all. So I didn't really care about their past relationship. Also, good for you. I'm very, yeah, this is exactly how I am in these situations. Like, I messaged one of my ex I messaged one of my ex boyfriend's new girlfriends recently, and I was like, I think you guys are so cute. But I'm fucking weird. The things that bother me are the following. Last 4th of July, Jimmy and I were still living in the house as we grew up in, and he wanted to have a party at his house, small gathering due to COVID. He decided not to invite Jane, because his parents

and sister were going to be there, and he didn't want to deal with any awkwardness. Totally fair. This was a problem with Steph, the leader, because in this friend group, we don't leave people out. That's not how we do things. This is what she directly said to me. Anyway, at 4th of July, I made a comment about Jane to my boyfriend that was meant to be a joke, but Steph didn't take it that way and got mad at me. She didn't tell me, though. She just told Jimmy and he told me not to say things that we joke about behind closed doors around his friends. Anyway, a month later, I called Steph and apologized for what I said, because there had been a lot of tension between us since then, and I just wanted it to stop,

since she's my boyfriend's friend. She accepted my apology, but then said, Jane is never going anywhere, ever. She's my best friend. And if that ever happens again, it will end mine and Jimmy's friendship. Shut up. No, she didn't. It's quite the little threat to me. What a little bitch. That moment was when I realized she is not a true friend to my boyfriend, and I've hated this girl ever since. She is known to not be a girl's girl and loves being one of the guys. She talks shit about the girlfriends of the guys in the group, says a lot of them can do better, and one of Jimmy's friends told me that she said shit like, I don't let Jimmy go out or do fun things, blah, blah, blah, which is far from the truth. Since this happened, I've tried to be the

bigger person and change my perspective of her by reaching out to her to make double date plans, which she always says no to, make an effort to talk to her when I see her, and she so obviously just doesn't like me. Sorry for the novel, but to my question, Steph and Rob are getting married next year, and I really don't like her at all. Rob, I'm okay with, he's a good friend to Jimmy, but it doesn't feel right going to the wedding if I don't like the bride. Am I the asshole for not going? Should I go to be petty? Should I accidentally book a trip with my girlfriends that weekend? Help. That's so tough. I would love to know what Jimmy thinks about her comment though, because that, it's weird, that would be everything. For me, I would quit putting in any effort into

this girl. I would just kind of, you see her at things, say hi, be nice, but don't go out of your way anymore to make friends or put in any effort in the relationship. She's clearly shut the door on you, but I also would go to the wedding, and it's not to be petty. It's not to cause any drama. Like I would go just one, there's a lot of people that go to weddings and only know one of the people and don't know or like the other one. I think go enjoy the food, the booze, and you're spending time with your boyfriend and like supporting him at the end of the day. You're supporting him, support his friends. And if you don't go or come up with more like an excuse, I think it's going to give Steph even more reason to be a bitch to you. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. It's just

going to create a larger gap between their already non-existent friendship and it's going to be even more awkward when they all are in the same room together. I would just know her place in your life that she's not someone that you will ever care for, but however, as long as her husband is going to be friends with Jimmy. At this point, if I was Jimmy, I would agree. I wouldn't think that she sounds like a very good friend to Jimmy because it's like if she's going to threaten her friendship with Jimmy like that based off of one little incident where he was trying to make sure that everyone felt comfortable. Yeah, and it's one thing if it was just his own place, but it is his parents' house and you don't know what the girlfriend broke up with him.

So it's also like if his family was attached and then kind of got mad when they broke up, it might be an uncomfortable situation for Jane. So it sounds like he was kind of looking out for everyone. Yeah, and she still hangs out. He says that he will never be in the same room as Jane. And like OP said, Jane is fine. She doesn't mind Jane. So it's just kind of this girl really needs to learn her place. She's the leader though. Yeah, I can just picture her type completely. And her being like, same, she's not a girl's girl. She's like she wants to be one of the guys. I just picture her being so possessive over all the guys like, oh, these are my boys, my friends, my guys. I look out for all my guys. Oh, it's like that girl from TikTok, the one that always

pretends that she's the chill girl. Yeah. And she's like, oh my god, Jason. Oh, is this your girlfriend? She's so pretty. Oh my god, Jason and me are like siblings. I sleep over all the time. His mom, Patricia, she loves me. Oh my god, Jason, remember that one time when we had that sleepover, we took a bubble bath. That was so funny. So funny. And she's one of those girls that purposely makes the boys' girlfriends feel uncomfortable just to show her place in the group. Her power over these guys. And my guys. And honestly, if this was my boyfriend, I would, you know, it's hard because you can't tell anyone who to be friends with. But I would just kind of be like, is this really someone who you want in our lives? Like she, you know, she's not respecting me. She's

also not respecting you. So I think that I would kind of talk it through with him. But the only reason that I wouldn't is because of the fact that he's marrying, she's marrying one of his other best friends. So now it's just like, you're in a, you're just, you just kind of have to be like, well, fuck it. Bite the bullet. Yeah, bite the bullet. Like. I know they sound like a very intertwined friend group. And at the end of the day, I think the one thing you could do in this situation is have the boyfriend say something. I don't know if I don't know when the wedding is or if it's close or whatever, but I don't know if I would do it before the wedding. I think I'd maybe do it after like down the road when maybe things kind of elevate and she comes, it's like

more disrespectful. But I don't think it's your place, OP to like say anything to her at all. I think it's your boyfriend's place. Like that's his friend. That's been his friend. And I think at the end of the day, like it should be him drawing the boundaries with like between them. Exactly. Like at the end of the day, it's you can't tell anyone who to be friends with or who not to be friends with. Like obviously, if they're, you know, disrespecting you, like then you should communicate with that so that they are aware. Yeah. But to tell them that they can't be friends with them. That's, you know, and I know she's not even asking that question. She's saying that she shouldn't go to the wedding. Yeah. But it kind of draws, but like by doing that, it kind of is

like, it's drawing your line in the sand. Yeah, exactly. And it's like, so true. You're like, you're not telling your boyfriend he can't go, but you're also like weddings are very coupling. They're very like coupling things. So it's like, who's he going to spend time with while he's at the wedding? Like go, the two of you are going to have fun, like have a good time, enjoy the bar and the food and the tunes. Like, yeah. And also don't make the relationship any more hard for you. Yeah. Cause it probably would be with this girl. Yeah. Her colors are showing. So just do you let her do her. And if your boyfriend ever goes along with disrespecting you, then that's a problem, but it doesn't sound like he is. So yeah, I would just say,

fuck it. Who cares about her? Live your life. And I don't know, get her a shitty present for the wedding and then eat all her food and drink all her wine. You're good. Yes. Couldn't be said better. Wait, you didn't want these butt plugs? I thought these were on your wedding registry. How odd. You didn't want to open them in front of grandma? Make your boyfriend pay for the gift because he shouldn't spend money on a bitch like that. True. There we go. Okay. Nailed that one. Love it. Love it. Okay. On to the Reddit stories. Sure. You don't want me to go? Yeah, you can read one. Replacement windows by Amsco windows are masterfully crafted right here in Utah

at prices you can afford. Our windows combine energy efficiency, sturdy design and great colors including black. Choose from several options, styles and colors to create the perfect fit. With over 30 million units installed, Amsco windows is a time-tested industry leader. For more information, visit Amsco windows.com. Request a quote and mention this ad and you'll receive 15% off Amsco windows.com. Okay. I don't know why, but I think that this one is kind of funny. So girlfriend mad. I helped my naked friend. God. Okay. What are you thinking right now? I'm thinking like someone just got drunk and started stripping and like he had to put her to bed. Okay. I, 18 male, was hanging out with my friend, 18 female and her brother, 18 male,

also my friend. Her brother left temporarily to get some snacks. Just me and her were home and she went to take a shower. I heard a crash in the bathroom. I asked if she needs help from outside the door and got no response. I went in and she was unconscious, but she immediately regained consciousness. I helped her up and gave her a towel. I called her brother to tell him and he said he would come over and take her to the ER. During that, she was still a bit out of it. So she dropped her towel. When I got off the phone, she became more aware and put her towel back on. We sat on the couch and I brought her eyes for her head that she hit. I asked her if she was okay. She said she thinks so. I told her that her brother is coming to take her to the ER.

She asked me to bring her some clothes before her brother got there. So I brought her a shirt, pants, a bra and underwear. She thanked me and I turned around while she put the clothes on. Her brother got here and before they left, she hugged me saying, thanks so much for helping me. You're a great friend. I'm sorry if it was awkward helping me while I was naked, but I'm glad it was you because I can't trust any guy to help me when I'm naked. I told her it's fine and of course, and that was it. What the hell did she pass out for? That's so scary. Yeah. And so his girlfriend is mad at him for helping her. So I told my girlfriend that she fainted in the shower. She asked me what happened next. So I told her I had to help her

and then her brother took her. She asked if I saw her naked and I said, yes. Now she's mad. I saw her naked and feels uncomfortable about our friendship. Oh my God. What do I do to make her feel more comfortable again? You are literally helping someone in a medical emergency. If your girlfriend has a problem with that, then your girlfriend needs to work on her own self-confidence and address that insecurity because there's nothing you can do. That is 100% the right thing to do in that situation. What are you going to do? Leave this girl pass the fuck out in the shower? Yeah. When you hear a loud thump in the shower and then no one responds, when you say, are you okay? What are you supposed to do? So that, I mean, that's fucked up. They're

all 18. So I mean, my thought is that the girlfriend probably had a problem with them being friends in the first place. For sure. For sure. It was probably, and that was now her out to be like, well, now I'm uncomfortable because you've seen her naked because I don't understand where her other type of logic would be. I remember being in high school and having my high school boyfriend have other girlfriends. And I was always sketched out by this one girl. And no, no, no, she's just my friend, blah, blah, blah, like the typical thing. But he did end up when he went on a camping trip with the boys. Their group of girlfriends came, and so she was there and the two of them shared a bed. What? So that's why we broke up essentially.

So I get where she's coming from, where she's probably like, no, you didn't have to help her. You just want to see her naked. You guys say you're just friends, but blah, blah, blah. Maybe she's jumping to conclusions. Yeah. So I understand that. But at the same time, like, no, this girl fucking passed out. What is he supposed to do? And based off of his story, it sounds like he was so respectful. And also some of the comments we're saying this too, when it's a life or death situation like that, you don't look at someone's naked body and think sex. You know what I mean? Your brain isn't thinking like that. He's just thinking, what the fuck do I do to make sure she's okay? Yeah. I mean, it's just, it's any hospital setting

too. If you get in a car accident and get picked up by an ambulance, they immediately cut your clothes off to put a gown on you. It's not anything that's, and me in the hospital, I'm working with patients every day. I'm helping them get up and go to the bathroom. I'm doing all the day-to-day activities they need to do. So it's like, you never look at someone. It's just, I don't, I just can't even imagine sexualizing it. Like that to me is just so gross, but she just probably doesn't understand that and is probably like thinking he's lying or like. I feel like she had some feelings about their friendship beforehand and this was her one, her one, you know, window to just be like, you know what? You saw her naked. I'm not comfortable anymore. So,

because otherwise it really doesn't make sense. Like that is another type of, another type of insecurity to be mad at your boyfriend for helping someone in a medical emergency, you know? Yeah, literally. It's very, it's very insecure. I think age kind of speaks to that one. Yeah. And that's the thing too, is that when you're in high school, so many people are, like you said, friends with the opposite sex. There's just friend groups all, you know, everyone's hanging out with everyone. So it's, I have seen one other Reddit post though that I guess like, I, you know, I'm saying age and I think age has a lot to do with the decisions we make and, you know, the security we have in ourselves and our confidence and everything

like that. Like confidence definitely comes with age. Like I was the most insecure. I'm still insecure. What I don't know what I'm talking about, but, and we all have body issues or, you know, things about ourselves that we might pick on, but every single human has some sort or type of insecurity in some way, shape or form. 100%. But I saw this other post where this guy was writing in and he's like, am I the asshole for defending a girl in the street? And he basically told this story about how they came out of a club one night and this girl was getting harassed by a guy. So he walks up, pretends to be this girl's boyfriend, and he ends up getting jumped trying to help protect this girl. And his girlfriend was mad at him and like wanted to break up with him

over this. And he was like, I don't know if it's the fact that like she says she can't look at me the same since I got jumped and like looks at me as like being weak. What? But like she also said like, why did I have to be the one to help her? And it was just like a goofy situation. So like me saying age, like, oh, them being young, like, I guess, no, because this couple was, you know, late twenties too. So yeah, I'm not sure. I just definitely like not the asshole. Like, I don't know how to help the girlfriend. I think that just comes with communicating like the fact that this was a medical emergency and this is the appropriate way to respond. Like, would you leave someone in the shower? No, potentially concussed and bleeding or who knows what happened. So and his immediate

reaction was to grab her a towel right away. You know, so it's not even like, he did all the right things. So he really did. No, but it's funny. This kind of reminds me. I know one time my ex-boyfriend, when we were in college, he had two girl roommates and two guy roommates. So there was a lot of them in a house. And that never fazed me at all. But he told me one time, I think it was, it was either when we first started dating or right before, but that his girl roommate was getting hit on. And so she grabbed his arm at the bar and was like, this is my boyfriend. And I just remember like, it wasn't a big deal. But I remember I was like, why, why you? Why, why'd she grab you? Lauren, he was probably just the closest. I know, I know. But I was 19. So again, like,

we've all been there. I mean, I didn't, I never, ever had any issues with them at all. They were really nice girls. So it wasn't anything. No, I mean, we all like, we all get jealous and have our own insecurities. So yeah, I mean, Justin, my boyfriend always gets hit on at the bar and like guys buy him drinks and I was like, what the heck just did? Like, where's my attention? But he's just, he gets drinks for us though. It's so great. And we don't even have to do the talking. He's just, it's so great. Up next, it includes a cat. So you'll like this one. Am I the asshole for refusing to pay an HOA ticket while cat sitting? A friend asked me to watch her cat for her while she was on vacation. When I went over to feed the cat, I parked in the driveway, fed the cat and

left. One day I went to feed the cat and there was a $25 ticket on my car for parking in the driveway. It was from the HOA, not the police or parking enforcement. There was nothing illegal about where I parked, nor have I ever been told not to park in a driveway by anyone. So I ignored it. The HOA is now pursuing my friend for the ticket, since their authority only extends to their members. She sent me, she sent them my info and I flat out told them to take a hike. I'm not paying a fine. And if they don't like it, sue me. She is upset with me and demanding I pay since she will have to pay the fine. If she had told me her HOA does stuff like that and that I need to park on a guest spot instead, I would have. But I don't feel obliged to pay a fine

for made up rules I was never told about. So am I the asshole? No, absolutely not. You did your friend a favor by feeding and taking care of their cat. And also the ticket's $25. Yeah, that's what I was just, I literally looked over your shoulder and I was like, did I hear that right? $25. If it was some crazy amount, $250 even. Or like, I was thinking maybe a few grand, because if it's a few grand, now you're like, oh, shit. Now that's a lot of money to, that's when people start to panic and they start to get, maybe ask for things that they shouldn't. Even a couple hundred can be really burdensome to, I mean, that would be a burdensome to me. Like I hate wasting money. Yeah, of course.

But $25. Pay it and move on. What is their deal? Yeah. And like, she never mentioned like that she got paid to watch the cat. So I guess like, I would just text the friend and be like, Hey, if, if, you know, they didn't pay you, I could see if it was fair trade off. I could see if it was parked, if they parked in an area that literally had big red signs all over that was like, do not park here. Or something like that. Yes. A handy cap spot. Yes. Yes. Stuff like that. And then they were like, yo, this is your responsibility. Yeah. But they didn't know the fucking rules. So that friend, the friend, it was a ticket from the HOA. So yeah. And the friend should have told

them like, Hey, when you go, please park here. Yeah. That's on the friend for fucking up. For those of you who don't know, an HOA is a homeowners association. So if you live in like, like a complex, like an apartment complex where you actually own your apartment or like a condo building where you own your condo, you typically have HOA fees to like maintain the building and do all the maintenance stuff, pay for security, things like that. And so it's actually such a bitch. Yeah. I have an HOA where I live and it is a group of terrorists. Yeah. I've never heard good things. And also, whenever I started looking up randomly, just houses on Zillow, because I thought maybe I could start making investments and la, la, la. And just for fun,

it always gets you at the end. You see, property does have an HOA. Yeah. You see everything. You're like, I got this. I got this. It makes sense. And then you see HOA and you're like, fuck you. I'm out. Sometimes they cost as much as the mortgage. I mean, sometimes they're actually ridiculous. Some HOA is like, especially in LA, like thousand, thousand, couple thousand a month. Go next to the ocean. Yeah. It's ridiculous. Yeah. So no, not the asshole. Your friends should just pay the ticket. Like this is the most ridiculous thing. Someone in the comments goes, not the asshole. If there's a parking rule that she knew about, it's up to her to tell you. Yeah. Let's hope the friendship doesn't end over $25, which yeah, like if you're going to let a friendship,

I wouldn't even like, I don't know if I would have even asked you. I would have been like, I fucked up. I didn't tell you $25. I don't think I would have even told you. That's what I'm saying. Like I wouldn't, I just wouldn't have asked. Like you were doing me a favor watching my animal. I probably would have said something just so that you knew for next time. If I like, you know, if you would do me that favor again. True. But yeah. Yeah. Not the asshole. Homeowner definitely knows what her HOA is up to, but to docile or timid to stand up and tell them to fuck off. Yeah, seriously. Maybe this is an opportunity to step up and deal some justice from an oppressive and clearly targeted harassment by their HOA.

Yeah. Yeah, I definitely agree. HOAs suck ass. Moving along. Cool. I got, should I read one back to you? You got another one? Yeah, do it up. Replacement windows by Amzco windows are masterfully crafted right here in Utah at prices you can afford. Our windows combine energy efficiency, sturdy design and great colors, including black. Choose from several options, styles and colors to create the perfect fit. With over 30 million units installed, Amzco windows is a time-tested industry leader. For more information, visit Amzco windows.com. Request a quote and mention this ad and you'll receive 15% off. Amzco windows.com. It actually plays off kind of well on the other one that I just read. Am I the asshole for getting mad at a friend for changing in front of me?

Okay. You had a lot of naked ones. That's why I said this was a good one to play off of the last one. Okay. All right. I, 27 male, went over to a friend's house, 26 female, because we, along with all of our other friends, planned on going to a local diner. I was really pumped because where I live, this place has been closed for a while and it just recently opened up. I finished my work stuff early and asked my friend who lives a few blocks away will call her Mallory if I could drop by early. When I showed up, she's still in her home with clothes, t-shirts, sweatpants, that sort of thing. We still have an hour left before we head out and she tells me that she needs to finish some homework related stuff. So we end up chilling in her room. Now here's a

little background on both of us. She's pretty conventionally attractive, both, but both of our personalities don't match. So nothing ever sparked and we just stayed good friends with 30 minutes left before we leave. She starts undressing and getting ready right in front of me. This cut me off guard. So I covered my eyes and said, at least asked me to leave the room. She started laughing and brushes it off saying it's not even a big deal and she doesn't see me in that way. I tell her that neither do I. She's still fucking topless in parentheses, but that doesn't mean I'm comfortable seeing her nude. So I leave the room. I kind of leave it at that and we don't mention it for the rest of the night. We go out and everything seems fine.

Then she texts me and says that I was kind of being an ass and that I made her feel weird about our friendship. She goes on and to say that if I truly see her as a friend- You made her feel weird? Yeah. Like she's on that fucking just got buck naked. Right? She goes on to say that if I truly see her as a friend, then I should be able to not sexualize her body. Does he have a girlfriend? Has he mentioned? No, he doesn't. Okay. I think that he would have because if he did that would be absolutely so not okay. Yeah. This kind of sets me off because from where I'm sitting, you can't force this level of comfort with a friend. So I basically tell her that I'm not suddenly going to turn gay for her sake. Yeah. I mean, you're still like, if someone's in front of

you, like you have fucking eyes, you can't just like shut them off. Yeah. And that she can ask me to leave the room like a normal person before she decides to go full queen of dragons, whatever that means. Khaleesi. Oh. Yeah. God, I love Game of Thrones. I always say that I need to watch it and then I never do. So that's what we're at. You got it. And now my phone is blowing up as our mutual friends are calling me an asshole. I get that I snapped at the end and my response could have been more mature. But really, am I the asshole here? No. Because I'm honestly surprised at how many of our friends are taking her side. They're probably just jealous that he didn't fucking sit there and Google her. Like they're probably like, we would have sat there and saw our naked dude.

I think it's the girlfriends too. What? Like the friends that are girls. I just see this being so weird. Like, say he did get a girlfriend and this girlfriend comes in the picture and like, it's kind of like, oh, like, you know, you've got a lot of girlfriends. Yeah. You've never done anything with them, right? Like, just out of curiosity, like, I mean, technically he'd be like, well, she got naked in front of me once. Like, you're just making the situation awkward for no reason. For no reason. And it's uncomfortable. Like, I have a lot of guy friends. That's just, I've always had a lot of guy friends. Like, I have an equal number, like, guy friends, girlfriends, like decent amount. But I've always had really good guy friends. And I cannot imagine

if they started changing in front of you. Yeah. Or if I had the, like, I would never get dressed or change in front of any of them. It's just a respect thing. Like, I, truthfully, like, we, we have a couple of girlfriends that, like, will be getting ready to go to the bars and stuff. And they have no problem, like, walking around completely naked until we leave to go to the bars. And I'm like, is this just me? Or does anyone else, like, find this kind of goofy? Like, I just, it makes me uncomfortable. Like, I, I, I don't know. So I see this being a very weird situation he's in. Yeah. And like he said, you can't force that level of comfort. If someone says, if I were to get undressed in front of my girlfriend, and she said,

wait till I leave the room. You know, I would, I would laugh and be like, okay, like, sorry about that. And then we'd move on. I wouldn't be like, I'm sorry that you sexualized my body. You know, it's like, everyone has their boundaries. Yeah. If they don't, if they don't feel comfortable, they don't feel comfortable. And I think that, that, that's fair. So totally fair. Everyone has their boundaries and you need to be just respectful of that. Like, also not to be like, oh, well, you know, just because they're opposite genders or whatever, like, doesn't mean they can't see each other naked. But it's like, it's just, it's an uncomfortable situation. Yeah. That's why I said, even if it was one of my girlfriends who said, like, who was just like,

wait till I leave the room, you know, then I would be like, what? You don't want to see my nipples. You know, like, I wouldn't react like this girl is reacting. I don't care if it's a guy or girl. It's just like, if he says he's not comfortable, he's not comfortable. Leave it at that. And that did at the end of the day. And she's projecting saying like, sorry that you can't be around me without sexualizing my body. Like that's, you know, taking it away that like, it wasn't even, it didn't need to go. Yeah, that's, it didn't need to go there. That was just like making this assumption. And yeah, well, like, why are you assuming? Yeah. Why are you assuming your friend was sexualizing your body? Maybe he was just,

he just said taking it back and uncomfortable. Exactly. That's all it was. That's all he said, at least, I mean, who knows. But from what his story is, that's all he said. Well, and this is really, this is so random. But like me and Justin have always talked about like trying to go to one of the nude beaches here in California, because I really, I don't like, if I'm going to sit out, like, of course I put sunscreen on. And if you don't, please wear sunscreen. But I really don't want to get tan lines, like really bad tan lines on like my top, like my bottoms, I still wear bottoms. Yeah. But I'm like, I wouldn't mind going to like just spread eagle out there. No, come to that. But I wouldn't mind like going to a topless beach. So

like, when you go to a place like that, I understand other people would like see me. So I get that, but I'm also like- But you guys are all consenting by going to a new beach. Exactly. And that's the thing, you're consenting. And so it's like, to just spring that on one of your guy friends. I mean, if you've never done it before, you could just be like, hey, like, do you mind if I get changed real quick? If not, you could leave. But to just like, like, tits out. And even the fact that she did that, so what? He just said like, hey, like, give me a heads up so I can leave the room. The fact that she drilled in on him is like, where the actual issue is. Yeah. Because if she just did that, she's like, oh, like, I,

I just am comfortable. I didn't, I thought we were all just, you know, on that level. We've been friends for seven years. Yeah. If that's how she felt. But the fact that she then drilled in on him, it almost makes me feel like she has a crush on him. And she's so pissed that like, he doesn't have a crush back. He almost rejected her in a way. That's, that's almost what it seems like. But who knows. Or honestly, she could just be dealing with some, you know, insecurity, some body issues. And she didn't, you know, feel like he was supportive of her being naked and maybe she's pretty comfortable. I know. But like, I think everyone's comfortable until someone says otherwise. And then you're like, wait, do I have something to worry about? And,

you know, maybe it like kind of hammered home for her. Yeah. Maybe it hit a soft spot. Exactly. Any comments? This was the top comment. Not the asshole. If a guy whipped out his junk and then says, Hey, it's okay. You know, I'm not attracted to you. It's borderline sexual harassment. But because rules are reversed, he shouldn't sexualize her and be comfortable with her. And he should be comfortable with her nudity. Yeah. Someone please explain the difference to me. There is no difference. Yeah. It's no different than like girls, typically girls getting unsolicited dick pics in their DMs. And it's like, no one's asking for that. No one wants to see that. So that is therefore sexual harassment. I actually just saw one of these

really cool body positive tiktokers today was like, I'm collecting all of the unsolicited dick pics and sending them to the police. So you're welcome people. And so it's like, that is harassment. And it's like, it's just an uncomfortable situation to put your friend in. And I just not the asshole at all. So there's actually a couple of updates, but I don't know if we even really, do we still want to, are they good? I can't remember. So update one. Okay. So the general consensus seems that both parties could have handled the situation better. So I called Mal and apologized for blowing things out of proportion. Her response, good. Bro, what the fuck? Is this even the same person I've been friends with? It's like I'm seeing a totally new

side of her. No pun intended. She definitely took it way, way, way more personal than she had to. And she's, she's holding a grudge. And he probably, he probably picked up on one of her insecurities. Because otherwise no one, you wouldn't act like this. But fuck it. I swallowed my pride and asked if there was anything that she wanted to say to me. And apparently she doesn't. I tell her as calmly as I can, that she's being unreasonable. And that I should not have to see her naked and cover my eyes so that she can simply tell me to leave the room friends or not. I have my boundaries. Mallory then fucking doubles down saying that if we're friends and I really don't have a thing for her, it's not that big of a deal and that she doesn't need to apologize for

changing in her own room. Why would she even feel the need to bring that up if she wasn't secretly harboring feelings for him? I know. That's what I'm thinking. If you don't like me and you're not attracted to me, then you shouldn't have a problem just fishing for something. She's fishing. Yeah. Purely fishing. And she's offended because she wanted him to like it. She wanted, I think, like this almost this like fantasy of like her stripping and him being like, wow, you know what, you're beautiful. I've always had feelings for you and just like take her like, I think this is a total fantasy and it completely backfired on her. Like, oh my gosh, have you seen how I met your mother? Yeah, of course. So, you know, there's like this thing

that they talk about in a few episodes called the naked man. Yeah. And this reminds me of the naked man and how I met your mother where the group of friends and how I met your mother met this guy and Robin like came back with him on a date or something and he was all of a sudden naked on her couch and she hooked up with him. And so she like told them the story or told him whatever. But he's like, the naked man, when they leave, you just come back and you're just naked and it works, you know, 75% of the time or like whatever it was. But it reminds me of that where it's like she just got naked and was like expecting this like flip of a switch like, damn, what are you doing? But I like it. And she didn't get that. If we're only friends, it shouldn't be a problem.

Yeah, no, she's definitely heard about this and she's got some other feelings happening. She's crushing on you. She's crushing. She's crushing hard. So I don't really know what advice about that because if he's not crushing back, then what do you do? No. And he like, like he said, like, these are my boundaries. And if she's not willing to like abide by them and like respect to your boundaries, then you can't go to her house alone and like go into a room and I don't know, like keep it in a neutral zone maybe. But you just kind of have to evaluate like if you want a friend that doesn't respect you or just limit your interactions. Yeah, because if she's really crushing on him that hard, then she's going to have to be a little bitter for a minute.

I think that's what happens. If someone has a crush on someone that's not reciprocated, then they got to be bitter for a little bit before they can move on and be friends again. She's going to have to work through her feelings. But at the end of the day, do you even want to be friends with someone then who acts like that? No. And again, you don't have to be bitter, but I'm just saying I feel like it's she probably is just because of her own ego is just kind of like, well, fuck you then. And once she gets over that, then for sure, she'll probably be fine. Oh, Mallory. Oh, Mal. Mal gal. Okay, on to the next. Am I the asshole for refusing to attend my best friend's unassisted home birth?

Would you want to come to my house and watch me pop out a kid in my tub? I mean, I would still go, but like I would stay on the other side of you. Otherwise I might faint. You don't want to be in the shoot in the alley getting ready? I don't know. I honestly feel like I could be one of those people who faints because I'm fucked. Justin scared of blood. Yeah, I'm my poor mother. She's going to have to deal with my screaming. Well, especially yeah, because of the fact that you'd been so much pain, then it's like if you weren't in any pain and you were just loving life, then I think that it might not make me queasy, but because you're screaming and I feel like it'd be so much for me. Well, I'm scared

for my own birth. Yeah, everyone knows how traumatized I am by the thought of childbirth. But this friend, unassisted home birth. Yeah, that's what scares me too. I feel like I'd be liable. Let's get into this. My best friend is 27 weeks pregnant and has incredibly limited prenatal care. According to them, missing things like a 20 week anatomy scan, almost all ultrasounds and a glucose test is because it's too difficult to find healthcare while non-binary. I'm sure it isn't the easiest, but I sort of feel like if you've committed to parenting, you've signed yourself up for having regular healthcare during your pregnancy, even if it's difficult or slightly uncomfortable. Yeah. Yes, prenatal care is like one of the most important things you can do once

you find out you're pregnant. And I mean, if you are short on certain vitamins or don't get enough folic acid, it can totally change the development of your child. So making sure everything is okay is so important. I get trying to find a healthcare provider when your non-binary must be so difficult because finding one as a cisgendered person, it's incredibly hard still. So I can't even imagine then that extra complexity, but you can still try multiple doctors. You don't have to just find one and if they suck, stay with them. Doctor shot people. If you don't find a doctor you like, go to the next one. For context, they're white with private health insurance. Recently, I found out that it's been difficult to find healthcare because no one will take them on as a patient

since they want an unassisted home birth with no midwife, nothing. After basically no midwife or doctor for most of their pregnancy as well. Early on in their pregnancy, they asked me to support them during the labor and birth. Now that I know their plan is to skip prenatal care during their pregnancy and during their birth, I don't feel comfortable putting myself in that situation, especially because I might have to make a major decision if the situation goes south or be unable to. My friend is incredibly hurt. I'm refusing to attend their unassisted home birth. They don't feel like I'm being supportive of their birthing decisions and that I've totally let them down at an important time in their life. Am I being asshole for skipping out on the birth?

No. No. Yeah. I understand that if they're very close friends, she wants to have her best friend there to support her. I understand how that hurts because in her mind, this is exactly how she wants things to be done. She just feels like her best friend should be supportive because it's a huge major life event in her life. However, it is scary. Like she said, what if something went wrong? What do you do? That's a lot of pressure, a lot of liability that nobody wants to take on because they're going to, if anything happens, they're never going to, they're not going to, that guilt, yeah. I don't know. I'm trying to find something to compare it to, but I'm like, there's no other medical scenario that you even do at home. Like, oh, come to my unassisted kidney

transplant. Oh, come to me passing ginormous kidney stones, unassisted with no meds. There's just no medical situations that you do unassisted at home. It's so irresponsible and childbirth is life or death for a lot of people. And there's a lot of variables and a lot of things that can go wrong in a split second. So I get wanting to have a home birth. I think that's really cool. I think tub bursts are really, really cool. There's some research coming out that water bursts actually prevent or decrease the risk of tearing because it allows your skin to be soft, supple, and more stretchy. So I think there's a lot of cool research behind using a doula and a midwife and birthing in the comfort of- What is a midwife?

Like a birthing coach that has special training. Some of them are even nurses. So they can be an RN that goes on to then become a certified midwife or a doula. So they're birthing professionals that have training for it. So I think that's really cool. But then to do it in your home alone, completely unassisted. Right. That's why if you asked me to come, I would be there for you. But I just wouldn't be the one that's in there. You know what I mean? And I feel like that's basically what they're asking her, right? I don't know. I mean, I guess, like, is their partner going to be the one to- Who else is going to be helping? I don't know. That's a terrifying thought. Because if I see my friend crying screaming,

there's blood everywhere. There's another human life. I'm going to freak the fuck out. I'm not going to know what to do and I'm not going to be helpful. Yeah, you'd pass out. I personally like blood and all this shit doesn't bother me. But I still wouldn't want the liability. I think that blood doesn't bother me. It does bother me, but yeah, you're right. Okay. I guess it bothers me. Yeah. But I think it's the coupled with screaming too. You know, that would, the combination would be really, it's not an ideal situation. There's a lot of good comments on this one.

Not the asshole. I mean, to be frank, you aren't supporting their birth decision, but their birth decision is insanely irresponsible and shouldn't be supported. Next comment. Exactly. At least 10 to 40% of home births require transfers to hospitals due to medical complication. This varies depending on location, birthing programs, et cetera, which is why home births are planned, carefully monitored, and attended by medical professionals, usually a qualified midwife. And to be clear, this is a planned home birth we're talking about where women receive competent medical care. Home birthing is a great option and is not risky if you have proper medical clearance,

care, and supervision during the birth and a sound plan. A competent home birth midwife will constantly screen for possible common issues like infection, cord entanglement, fetal distress, obstructed labor, et cetera. Free birthing on the other hand is dangerous and absolutely stupid and it is much more risky than an ordinary home birth. It's not natural. It's not empowering. It's just reckless. Studies into free birthing have found parents doing this rarely make the call to transfer to the hospital in time when issues arise. It's a danger to both mother and child and triples the rate of stillbirth. Just to reinforce this, a 2010 meta analysis, which a meta analysis is taking a bunch of like

top tier studies and compiling them into one like summary, and that found babies risk of dying during free birthing increases by 300%. Wow. So yeah, like honestly, this is the most irresponsible thing in the world then. And I am gonna just look at their source here because they linked it. Yeah, the source they linked was published in the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology. So that's one of the most legit sources in the country as far as OBG and maternal health related stuff can go. So great source. Love this fucking comment. I love educated comments like this. And not the asshole. This friend is honestly, I think this friend is kind of the asshole to put the baby's life at risk and be a completely irresponsible parent.

I would just say that OP needs to have these conversations with her. Yeah, I know. And let her know it sounds she might just kind of be turning a blind eye. Is that the phrase? Yeah, I guess it just could be just uneducated and not really knowing, you know what? The risks involved. Yeah. She doesn't give an update. I looked at her page just now and there's no update about addressing the friend or really anything that's going on in this situation. So hopefully the friend gets it together because that's terrible and so scary. There's so much that can go wrong.

So much. So no, not the asshole. Okay, so this one's a little interesting. This one gives me very uncomfy vibes because it's another story kind of about friendship, but you'll see what I mean. But if my friend was doing this or if I was supporting my friend doing this, it would be really fucked up. So I think my sister-in-law's 23 female best friend is trying to get with my 25 female husband, 28 male, and she's encouraging it. Am I delusional? That the sister-in-law is encouraging it? Yes. Got it. Yes. Yes. My sister-in-law, 23 female is my husband's half sister.

She was the product of their mother's infidelity. His father divorced their mother when he was 12 after he found out through a paternity test. She wasn't his. Damn. My father-in-law refused to have anything to do with my sister-in-law, but continued to have a relationship with my husband. Because of this, my sister-in-law is very clingy to my husband. My husband is also very protective of his sister and generally doesn't tolerate anything negative being said about her, which is why I'm posting this here before mentioning it to him.

My husband and I bought a house last year, which has its own indoor swimming pool. My sister-in-law was super excited when she saw it and asked if she could use it sometimes with her friend. We said it was fine as long as she gave us a notice before she turned up. Her and her friend Chloe have used it many times before, but almost never when my husband is home. He is a lawyer and works long hours. With lockdown, my husband has started to work from home. My sister-in-law asked me if she and Chloe could come over and use the pool. I told her I was uncomfortable with them coming over as I'm pregnant and don't want to accidentally expose the baby to anything risky. My sister-in-law then asked if she and Chloe quarantined for two

weeks would they be able to come over. My husband said it was fine. Two weeks later they turn up to my house. My husband was in his office, so they go straight to the pool after making small talk. My husband ends up coming out after an hour and we're hanging out in the kitchen. My sister-in-law walks in to get a drink and she starts talking to my husband. Before she goes back to the pool, she says, Chloe's going to be so happy to see you. It was weird because my husband and Chloe aren't close. Chloe comes into the kitchen two minutes later and spends the rest of her time talking to my husband until he excuses himself to get back to work. She's super giggly and smiley when she talks to him. He would say something sarcastic and she would laugh like it was the

funniest joke she's ever heard. It honestly felt like she was flirting with him. Before she went back to the pool, she gave me this weird, smirky look. Before they leave, they ask my husband if he's working from home every day of the week. He confirms he is. The next two weeks they come over to the house to swim every single day except Chloe never gets in the water. Instead, she hangs around the house in her bikini. She was previously wearing a one-piece if that makes a difference, every single day. Whenever my husband comes out to hang around me, she quickly interrupts him and keeps him talking until he has to go back to work. I made lunch for us all and when I excused myself to call my husband down, my sister-in-law quickly stopped me and said Chloe could call him for me.

They shared a look and Chloe looked really happy when she went to get him. Chloe also started to get touchier with my husband. She put her hands on his chest and arms, stands or sits really close to him. To my husband's credit, he does usually create space between them whenever she does something like this. The reason I believe my sister-in-law is in on this is because she's made a few pregnancy-related jabs at me recently. She told me a story about how one of her friends, boyfriends, was cheating on her and then something along the lines of quote, did you know a lot of men start cheating when their wives are pregnant? She's also made comments about how I look chubby now and it looks weird next to my husband because he's well built.

If she spots my husband out of the office, she quickly goes to inform Chloe. I know pregnancy hormones can mess with a person's brain so I'm wondering if I'm just looking for something that isn't there. My sister-in-law sent me a text yesterday asking if they could come over to swim next week and I really want to say no but I know she'll wind up my husband if I do. I ideally want to have a conversation with him before then but I'm not sure if I should mention the flirting. Am I being delusional? No girl, it's right in front of you. What the fuck? You're spot on. What the fuck? This is so uncomfy. You see what I mean? If your friend was doing this but you're encouraging it. I'm so upset. You're encouraging it. So how old are they again? Remember me? So the two girls,

the sister-in-law and the friend are 23 and how old is the wife? The wife is 25 and the husband is 28 so they're all like not big age gaps and like 23 they're kind of on the same you know playing field so I'm sure her friend is like especially the sister-in-law the friend and the wife are only two years apart so the sister-in-law is probably like this could be you this could be your house in your pool. You should get in there. Tap that. Tap my brother's ass. This is so messed up. I mean even if nothing else for her to make a comment did you know that most men she when their wives are pregnant? That's enough. You know what I mean? So weird. Who says that to a pregnant woman? What? That is evil. Evil. Why? Evil. I don't care if the statistic is true or wherever you got

your information you don't fucking say that to a hormonal pregnant wife you bitch. Like I don't understand what you were trying to get accomplished besides the only thing you could be trying to do at that? Pushed out in her mind. Make her insecure. Exactly. Make her think she has reason to fear something and suspect something. Yeah it's really kind of unhinged and I'm sure the sister just because of like the dynamic with the dad it sounds like that's a really complicated and like traumatic upbringing to have like you know your your older brother have a dad that like like was supposed to be your dad but your mom cheated and doesn't so he doesn't acknowledge you ignores you whatever you know you're the reason for their divorce like I'm sure

that is such a traumatic upbringing and so the fact that you know she really clings to the brother I'm sure she sees his wife and this you know new baby as a threat to her so I'm sure that's kind of where this is coming from but it's also like well what happens if your friend actually did get in there then your friend would be with your brother but she's best friends with her so it's those two against the world is probably what her mind is thinking. I know I feel like it's kind of like a means to an end like I think she's just like just get in there and break them up I don't know I don't know but there's an update. Okay what's the update? There's an update. Well I read and reread all of the comments on the original post to try and figure out how I was going to bring up

the issue. Turns out I didn't have to. We were watching a movie and my phone lit up with another text from my sister-in-law telling me she was now going to be here at 1 p.m. the next day to swim with Chloe. My husband saw it and told me to tell her not to come. This is really weird behavior for my husband because he tends to do anything to accommodate my sister-in-law. Hell yeah! And very rarely refuses her anything. I asked him if something had happened and he shrugged it off and we kept watching the movie. A few minutes later he paused the movie and said he wanted to ask me a question. He asked if I'd noticed Chloe never swam when she came to our house. I wish I could say I was calm and collected like the comments were advising but I ended up laughing hysterically.

I was honestly just so relieved he'd brought it up instead of me having to be the one to do it. I think my husband, yeah so uncomfortable especially because that's his family. He's protective like yeah you don't want to give him reason to be like mad at you. But you hear so many stories where the husband or the wife or whoever just it seems like they're so oblivious to what's going on. They're like no no no you're just you're that you're making that up you know what I mean like that's in your head so this is so satisfying that he's the one to be like you know what she made me a little uncomfortable. So refreshing. So refreshing. So nice. I think my husband thought I was losing my mind when I finally stopped laughing. Yeah probably just like what the

fuck is happening here. When I finally stopped laughing he repeated the question and said he wanted a serious answer. I said of course I've noticed and he awkwardly replied so you must have noticed the other thing too. To summarize the conversation that followed my husband had it noticed Chloe was flirting with him the first few days because he was so busy with work. He wasn't really paying attention to anything else. He said when she started getting handsy is when he suddenly had the light bulb moment that she was into him. He says he didn't want to unnecessarily stress me out so he never mentioned anything but he was worried I noticed too and thought he was interested because he hadn't immediately shut it down. He realized

we would eventually have to have this talk but he wasn't sure how to bring it up. Oh the irony. He did privately speak to Chloe and told her he was happily married and wasn't interested and started anything with anyone else. Apparently she never took him seriously because she kept doing it. Chloe is going to get banned from the house. Wait so he said this to Chloe before this conversation happened. Yeah and she still kept doing it. What a little fucking bitch. The balls this girl has. Because the audacity. I just can't even imagine how for me if I'm ever around a couple I make sure to make the female feel very included and very comfortable. I acknowledge the female more. Yes so I don't understand how you have the nerve to do

this in someone else's house around their pregnant wife. In their home. That is some type of crazy bitch. In that home. That is insane to me. In front of her. Can you imagine. And then the fact that he said something to her and she still continues. What a bitch. What's how delusional is she. She's very very confused. Fuck her. She's a little unhinged. Oh my god. I'm heated. In the end he called his sister on Sunday to tell her either she got her to stop or Chloe couldn't come over anymore. His sister ended up having a tantrum and said a few nasty things about me the baby and our relationship. Wow. I'm dumbfounded. I think you're right. I think it's just a insecurity because of her

own upbringing. Yeah she insisted I was somehow behind his request and made some comments about how I was controlling and insecure because I looked like a beached whale and Chloe was younger and hotter. Fucking. He was pretty pissed at this and said if she said something like that about me again he would stop talking to her. Yeah good. I love this. Me too. Setting boundaries. I absolutely love this. This is what a supportive partner looks like. Yeah this is great. She claimed I had baby trapped him and when my husband pointed out we were already married so I didn't need to trap him and that he was the one who wanted to start a family she kept insisting I had manipulated him into feeling that way. She claimed he was unhappy in our

relationship and he always looked tired because I was forcing him to slave away to fund my fancy lifestyle while I sat on my ass all day. He pointed out he chose to be a lawyer knowing he would have to work long hours and I had only recently left my job so her accusations were baseless. She said some other stuff along the lines but the thing that made my husband finally snap was when she said it the baby was already ruining everything and it was just going to get worse when it was born and he should have dragged me to the abortion clinic while he had the chance. What type of psycho bitch is this girl? Oh my god. Wow. He told her neither her nor Chloe were welcome in our home anymore until they've apologized for how they've been behaving

and for the things my sister-in-law said. What? No Chloe is never allowed back in there. I'm sorry. No chance in hell. Chloe would receive a lifetime ban. Absolutely. I think the fact that he already confronted her and she continued to cross boundaries and try to touch him and try to seduce him. Done. Unreal. The sister? Family. You don't have to deal with family? Honestly, after what she's saying though, I would be livid. I would say you are not my family anymore because you do not treat me, my future baby, my wife the way that you have. Unless you go and get serious help because you need it, you are not allowed back in my life. I don't care if you're blood. You do not treat people you love the way that she's treating him and the words that

she's saying. Even if he was in a toxic relationship, let's say that OP somehow is just a huge fucking raging bitch. You still do not do the things that she did. No. That is not how you go about it. That is not how you treat people. That's not how you talk about people when that's his future. That's his family. That's his family. That's his son. That's not how you... It's really messed up. I think clearly this is a wanted pregnancy and they're very excited and all this stuff. To call her a beached whale, that's pretty bad. She's fucking pregnant. The average weight gain for a pregnant woman is, I think, 30 pounds. That's the average weight gain. Of course, she's fucking baking a baby inside of her. You're going to gain weight and not look like yourself.

So really fucking rude. But then to say, you should have dragged her to the abortion clinic. That's exactly where I completely drew the line on everything. No one should ever be dragged to an abortion clinic. An abortion should be their choice, but this is still beside the point. This is planned, happy. What the fuck? Yeah. No, but you're right. Even if she considered it, even if he considered it, that's not his place to drag a woman to an abortion clinic. No. And that is never anyone's place to make a comment like that. It's actually kind of scary. It is scary. That's where her mind went.

That's why I'm freaking out right now because I'm like, this is not just someone being a bitch. This is scary. You brought up, gone girl. Yeah. I'm like, this sounds like some gone girl type of mentality. Well, it almost does. She's plotting. That's it. That's like, if you're already saying like, I get the baby's not here yet, so you, you know, you haven't had a chance to form a connection and she's, she's feeling threatened and insecure. And so she's like, just get rid of it. But would you then trust her around your baby once it's born? Because you can already tell she resents the child so much before even meeting it.

Right. I wouldn't trust her to babysit. And his family, she resents the wife, his family. Yeah. That's exactly what they are. And that probably is stemming from some type of insecurity, which is really sad. However, she still needs to get help because that is so insanely unacceptable. It's bad. And I feel so bad for OP because what do you do? You know that your husband still, you know, loves his little sister. Yeah. But like, I would never want her near me or my baby or my husband or my house because that what, how she acted, yeah, it's not like it was even just a moment of her bitching and saying

really mean words because that, sure, she could take back, she could say, you know, I was just having a freak out moment. But the fact that she was plotting that entire time, that she was deceiving, she was coming over with a plot and trying to wiggle her way and be friend and that's what's too far. That's where I would be like, I don't want you in my life at all. So I feel so bad for her because obviously the sisters most likely going to continue to stay in their lives. Hopefully the sister just gets help though because that would be the best case scenario. There's a little bit more of the updates. Let's see what they say. He said he wasn't sure he could ever forgive or forget what she'd said about her child, even if she did apologize.

And he couldn't believe she would even think something like that, let alone say it. Apparently she started crying and said she was sorry that she didn't mean it and she was just scared to lose him and that she wasn't thinking clearly. He hung up on her. He showed me his phone and she's been calling him and texting him since begging him to reply. He asked if she'd said anything to me. I was debating whether to say anything or not, but he kept insisting he knew she had said something and he wanted to know what it was. I told him the things I mentioned in the original post and a few other things she had said. He asked me why I never mentioned anything when she first said it and I mentioned how he got really defensive whenever I said anything even slightly negative

about his sister and he got defensive. I pointed out he was doing it again and after some back and forth he admitted that, quote, maybe he was a little bit defensive when it came to her, but he promised to stop and he wanted to make sure we could talk about anything including his sister. He ended up mentioning wanting to try couples counseling. He said it wasn't because he thought there was something wrong with our relationship, but apparently he had been speaking to his dad a lot recently and he mentioned one thing he regretted about his marriage with mother-in-law is that they never went to therapy until the cracks in their relationship were too big and it's good for him. I love it. I love him. And his current marriage they go and it's helped

him avoid the mistakes of his first marriage. I agreed. So we're probably going to try that. Opie, is your husband single? Does he have a brother? Just kidding. I always love those comments on TikTok. Is your husband single? Is your boyfriend single? Yeah, I love couples counseling. That's something Justin and I really want to go to just as a maintenance. Before cracks, like they said, before any cracks get bigger and it's just solidify your communication because I think defensiveness is something that it is really easy to get defensive because you don't want to feel attacked. You want to not feel like a bad person or whatever the reason is, but it's one of those four horsemen of the apocalypse that the book that we're reading talks about

John Gottman, what makes love last. And so I really, really, really love this take on couples therapy. Yeah, me too. Again, here I am, plug in therapy. Yeah, and he sounds pretty awesome. I'm really liking the end of the story. Yeah, just final tidbit. My husband thinks my sister-in-law will eventually turn up even if we tell her not to, but he promised he'd deal with her if she does. So I read it. I guess you were right. I really just needed, did need to speak with him. Thanks for the advice and the comments. I enjoyed reading them all. Happy ending. I know. Is that your good update? Yeah, well, hopefully the sister gets help though because that, I mean, it does make me feel really happy that she did switch and apologize and say

she wasn't thinking clearly because I mean, it came out in the end. Yeah, I'm really glad that she said all that because if she stood by that, then I would be so concerned. But I think it really was just being so afraid of losing him, which is ironic because it's what pushes people away. Like, don't treat people like that when you're afraid of losing them. Why treat them like ass when you're afraid of losing them? Yeah. It makes no sense. You're going to be the reason you do lose them in that case. The logic is flawed. But anyway. I'm so happy this one turned out good. Me too. Sorry, sister-in-law for calling you a bitch so many times. I was also not in my right mind because I was upset. Hey. If the shoe fits. Yeah. I'll save the happy one for the end. Yay.

Interest rates keep rising, but don't worry, we'll cut them back down to size. Hi there, I'm Josh Osborn with Volkswagen South Town and during our rate cut sale, we're cutting rates in half. Got 3.9 for five years at Volkswagen South Town on any new car and we have as low as 1.9 on new cars. Get the car you really want, like the Jetta, Tiguan, Taos, Atlas, or ID4EV. Save thousands in interest at Volkswagen South Town, Utah's number one Volkswagen dealer. Visit vwsouttown.com. Okay. Would I be the asshole if I deleted my friend's engagement pictures? Don't look. Sorry. You little cheater. I didn't look. I'm going to get one of those privacy screens. I was looking at the caption. I was reading as you spoke. I don't trust you.

I tried to be short. Sorry. English is my second language. I got married last fall, where I live. Fall means the trees are changing colors, so the wedding pictures are to die for. We didn't have a huge budget, so a friend of mine asked her friend if she could do it for me. I'd seen some of her work and she is really talented. Plus, she has a total sweetheart. The only thing is, for what she charges, and since it's more of a hobby, you'll get your pictures when you get them. Well, I got them, and now I need to know if what I'm about to do falls in asshole territory. A few days after my wedding, my friend announced to me that she was engaged. I was ecstatic and wanted to know everything.

Turns out, she got engaged at my wedding. My brain gets out of its vegetative state, and I remember her table being way too excited at some point, but I blamed the alcohol. I wasn't thrilled about it, realizing then that she had basically not only gotten engaged at my wedding, but instead of hiding it and announcing it later, she announced it to our friends during the party. It was a tough pill to swallow, but I figured, whatever, it's not like I even realized what was happening. We did have a discussion about it, and she didn't seem to understand why I was upset until I put it into perspective for her, asking her how she would feel if I made a big announcement

at her wedding, taking the attention away from her big moment. In my friends' mind, it's no longer the day I got married, it's now also the day she got engaged. On my dime, we eventually turned the page and I thought it was over. Well, I've sort of been friends with my photographer since the wedding because of common interests. At some point, she point blank told me that now that we are closer, she feels comfortable asking me what to do with my friend's pictures because it makes her really uncomfortable. During the evening, the wedding party took a break to do a change, and during the time, my photographer was taking pictures of foliage and the venue. My friend apparently asked her to take pictures of her

and her boyfriend. She didn't really see a problem since we weren't back yet, and they were guests. That's until she realized they were engagement pictures. Some poses just don't leave place to interpret. So when she asked me what to do, that, you know, accidents happen, I told her to just put them in a separate folder. Ever since, I've been thinking, what am I going to do with that folder? My friend has been asking about my wedding pictures periodically, but hasn't asked about her pictures specifically. It was easy when I didn't have them, but now I do. I've had them since April, and I know she will eventually come out of hiding now that COVID restrictions are loosened. I want to delete the folder since they are my property anyways,

but I don't want to be a major asshole either. Before you say it, I do realize I haven't forgiven her at all, like I initially thought. And I wouldn't either. You know, I never really understood all of the etiquettes of weddings at a younger age, but as I got older, I found out that that is definitely a fruit. Yeah, it's so fucking rude. But here's the thing, I would throw a fit. I would be so mad. But here's the thing, the issue is between the friend, these are two women, right? Yes. The issue is between the two girlfriends. So I'm assuming, possibly, I guess I don't know, but I'm assuming if it's traditional, like, that it was the male who asked for her hand in marriage, and what the fuck is she supposed to do.

You know what I mean? It's like, at that point, you just kind of have to be like, well, fuck it. She was so over the moon, unless she plotted this, unless they were like, we're going to piggyback off of their photos and get some free phone. That's where I draw the line. Because even if you had no idea your boyfriend was going to propose, you can keep it quiet. You can recognize my boyfriend had the worst proposal that he possibly could have had, because I think fucking doing it anywhere else would have been better. I think that's so tacky, unless it's something that the bride wants. I don't know. Some people are okay with it. I'm not one of those people clearly, but some people do like to get engaged. They find it almost heartwarming that their best friend

got engaged at their wedding too. So some people are into it. I am not. But I think if this was her friend and she wanted to have her friend have a great wedding, a great magical day, one, you keep it quiet. And two, you don't go out of your way to track down the photographer to take engagement pictures for you. You're not paying for that photographer. That photographer is not there for your fucking needs. But here's the thing is, if it already didn't register in her brain that it was a red flag, then she's like, oh, the photographer is right here. Let's take pictures. Yeah. So if she would have realized that that wasn't okay from the start, then she probably wouldn't have. She's a little clueless. Yeah, it sounds like she's a little clueless.

The fact, though, that she's being sly about the pictures, though, she knows what she did now. Yeah. Otherwise, she would just ask and be like, hey, I fucked up and I did something even worse, and I actually had the photographer take some pictures of me, but I don't think she thinks it's fucked up. I think she's probably just feeling- Why isn't she just coming out right and asking? Because she's probably a little bit nervous. But why? Because she doesn't know if she fucked up or not. So if you have to question it, though, if you're questioning it and you're being sneaky about it. Well, because she already knows it's a touchy subject. So she's like, I would love to see those pictures, but just come out and say it. You already fucked up.

You know your friend knows you fucked up because she's got the pictures. She's going to see it. Yeah, true. So just own it. You already fucked up. Own your mistake. That's going to play out better than being a little sneaky coward. I don't know why this story is so funny to me. But so what would you end up doing? Would you delete the pictures? No. So there is a comment on one of them that I absolutely love, and that is what I would do. I think in the heat of the moment, I might be like one click, one click. But I also, I think this is better revenge. So I'll read the comment. Oh, wow. Not the asshole. You would be well within your rights to delete the photos. Announcing an engagement at someone's wedding is awful, but I would have

been okay to let it go like you. She might not have known a proposal was coming and they didn't announce it to the room at large. Your initial response to her was good. But the photographer thing is absolutely unacceptable. I think I'd keep her hanging. Let her see the photos you've chosen of your special day. Never mention hers. If she asks, you can then make her explain why she got your photographer, whose time you had paid for and allocated to take pictures that weren't about your day. You can choose whether to delete the photos or charge her for them. But hopefully, she will be sufficiently embarrassed. It will make her think, if not, I'm not certain I'd actually want her as a friend. And the next person goes charge her for the photos. It was tacky to get

engaged at a wedding, but extra shifty to ask for the photos on your dime. And that's what I would do. Yeah, that's a good one. Fuck it. If you get your wedding photos cheaper, and it was shitty, but it was at a time your photographer wasn't taking pictures for you directly, still fucking shitty and shouldn't be done. But hey, charge that bitch. And then basically, you got your photos even more discounted. Yeah. I'm all for bargains. Yeah. I'm a 30, 30 bitch. You are. So all it, Alejandro just told me that you bought a couple of purchases today to revamp them and resell them. Yeah, we put them on Justin's credit card. If anyone's in the market for a beautiful Gucci purse, I have one or two. But I'm trying to sell the one so then I can not feel so

guilty about keeping the second. Oh. Oh, you're keeping one. I didn't know that. Potentially. Okay. We'll see how it goes. Keeping the purchase on Justin's credit card or? No. I wouldn't do that to him. He thought about it though. He's like, I almost didn't show you because I was going to try to like sneakily buy it for like a big present. And I'm like, you should have. But no. Yeah. So I'd charge this bitch for her photos. Yeah. I think that's a great solution. Yeah. It's a great one. Cause at the end of the day, she already did both things. She got engaged and she took the photos. And so yes, if you just were to delete them, it feels almost, it feels a little petty. Yeah. Well, then you have to lie to like, oh, I never got them. And

then that's on your conscience. Or you just have to start to be like, yeah, I deleted them. Come at me, bro. Yeah. So I kind of like that pettiness. It's just like a very sophisticated, more of a logical way of being petty where it's like, you know what? It was my photographer on my dime. If you want the photos of your engagement that you had on my wedding day, which I found very disrespectful, pay up, pay up, cough it up. Motherfucker. Yeah. I completely agree. I think that's the best response. Someone else goes, I do feel bad though, that it was it most likely wasn't her choice to get proposed in that moment. But no boy would ever think, oh, let's go find the wedding photographer and make her take pictures of us too. Yeah, true. That was on her. She was definitely

culprit as well. That was on her. You're right. So yeah, you guys talk about proposal plans with your boyfriends. If you guys feel that you're getting engaged, like some people truly don't care. Maybe this is just maybe a weird type A weirdo, but like just make sure your boyfriend knows not to propose at someone else's wedding. I think that's the one rule. Like just sweetie, make sure you don't propose at someone else's wedding or on a holiday or my birthday or an important event that is celebrating me. Like I saw a couple of people that got engaged at their graduation and in the comments people were like, seriously, bro, you couldn't let her have her fucking special day and propose tomorrow? Because it's like that's her graduation. She just worked her ass off for

that degree and you're kind of stealing the thunder. Even though a proposal is also about her too. Yeah, I was going to say. But a graduation is so special and you worked so hard. Just let her have her day, propose tomorrow. But all of her family would be there that day. I don't want my family to see me get proposed too. They can have a party secretly after wedding. I'll go celebrate after, but I want it to be like very intimate and just like a secret photographer hiding in the bushes, but very intimate. Same here. I feel I would be way too uncomfortable. You don't want an audience for your proposal. You just want it intimate and nice and you know about you as a couple and just very special. So don't do it like this guy did. So last, last little story

and then bedtime. Yes. I'm the breadwinner and my husband is a house spouse and everyone we know, including our friends, all have a problem with that. Why? When I got a job in a low cost of living area where his job prospects were abysmal, he said he wanted to try his hand at being productive around the house and see if he could come up with ways to save and make money from home. He's knocking it out of the park. He grows fruit and vegetables in a huge garden, has some fruit and nut trees going, learned how to can, makes all of our food from scratch, does a great job with the housework, keeps bees as a hobby so he can get out of the house and go to the local bee keeping association meetings, has made us lots of interesting friends who keep bees, home brews, all of our beer and

last week he learned how to make soap. This is the cutest thing ever. This is my dream. I literally want to have bees someday. I think it's so amazing. The only thing is I'd want to do all of this with my husband. Yeah, which it sounds like she's like, I mean, she said make us lots of interesting friends at the bee place. No, I just mean like, I'd want to want to work either. Let's hang out bees together. Same. Same. They could probably make a business out of it, honestly. Like, oh, they seriously could. Get crafty. Bees, soap and brews. Yeah, right? Oh, oh. Bees, brews and soap. Bees, booze and bubbles. Bees. Oh, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. There's their business. Okay. Ah, I want to do this. Someone literally asked me the other day and they're like,

what's your dream job? Like, do you like being an OT? And while yes, I love being an OT. You're like, I'm not a podcaster. Oh, I didn't say that right. You were like, I'm now a podcaster. I do. I can technically add that on my resume, but I'm like, there's like this meme and it's like, I'm not, I'm not cut out for, for the work life. I didn't choose this work life. Like, what's that meme? It's like, I'm not coming. I don't want to work. Like, it's like, I just want to be a housewife. That meme that says, I don't want to work. You know what I'm talking about? No, Morgan, I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm googling the meme. It sounds great though. I feel like I would love a meme that says, I don't

want to work. Okay, sorry, I'm done. Um, no, I don't, I don't know. I'm not going to be able to find the meme, but yeah, because what is your definition? I don't know. Oh, my dream job is not needing one. That would work. Oh, this is the, I think this might be the tweet I saw. My dream job is dot, dot, not working. No work. I don't dream about labor. That is me to a T. Whoa. Like I don't have a dream job. Like I enjoy my job. I enjoy helping people. I like my job. But if I won the lottery, I wouldn't work. I'd podcast and make fun videos, but like, I don't, I'm not cut out for labor. Well, I think you, you have such a creative brain as well, which is part of it because you, you know, I get bored quickly. Yeah. And you would

constantly keep yourself busy and would have projects and be making things happen. I'd start a non-profit. I'd probably start a non-profit, rescuing horses and then turning them into therapy horses for people with special needs and disabilities. I mean, look at this podcast. It's so funny. I was just looking at me and Morgan's old texturing from like four months ago or no, how long? It was a year ago. It was April of 2020. And Morgan, yeah, just when the pandemic hit, Morgan texted me and was like, do you want to make a podcast? I want to start a podcast. Yeah. Yeah, it's cute. We're going to have to post those. But back to this friend.

I absolutely love what he's doing. So happy. So adorable. So adorable. So she goes on to say, I'm proud of him. He sells produce and honey at the farmers market on weekends during the growing season. People act like he must sit around and play video games all day. The things they say are horrible. I had to stop talking to one friend because she told me to divorce him. It's crazy. Wow. So unsupportive. If it was him working and me busting my butt at home, no one would say a thing to me, which is exactly what I was going to say. Like the gender stereotypes, like no one would question the woman staying home. But because it's the man staying home, it's like, yeah, that's ridiculous. It's so ridiculous. If a guy wants to stay home and like

the wife wants to be the breadwinner and that's a mutual decision, power to you. Amazing. So that's all she says. But the top comment goes, this sounds like a them problem. If it works for you, then it works. Fuck everyone else. I don't get why they're mad about it. They're probably jealous. About what? I mean, we just said we'd want to do that. Yeah, but I mean, you know, have bees and bake soap, but are they jealous that she's making money or they're jealous that her husband's chilling or that her husband is making such an awesome situation for them that when she gets home, she's so happy and they have all these new friends and all these fun activities. Like what their life sounds great. Yeah, I don't understand. I would

just want to be involved. I don't understand. I almost wonder if it's, I don't understand. I don't get it. I almost wonder if it's a lot to do with just one, like how we view gender roles and, you know, our idea of like a typical patriarchal society where the men is the breadwinner and the women stay home typically or stay at home moms and like we are really women working and having their own jobs and being able to have their own bank account. That's a recent thing. Women weren't allowed to have their own bank accounts until like 1970, which I'm going to fact check that. I was actually just talking to Jeff about this because you know, as much as we see ourselves as equals, we also need to recognize that as a woman or as a

man, there is a chance that we have experienced the world a little bit differently based off of societal norms that have been placed on the world. Yeah. So it says women could, women could open bank accounts in the late like 1960s. However, a lot of banks could not let them get credit cards or open a checking account without, I just got to read this. Who did that? You know, who, who had the say? Yeah. So this is a, this is an article like on Ruth Bader Ginsburg. And it's a quote that said, when she argued her first case in 1971, many banks still would not issue women credit cards or allow them to open checking accounts without their husband's permission. So yeah, it was the seventies because this equal opportunity, this equal credit

opportunity act wasn't passed until 1974, which was supposed to prohibit credit discrimination on the basis of gender. What year was it that women were allowed to vote? Uh, so women were allowed to vote in the United States, um, in 1920. It was the 19th amendment. But yeah, I think, um, this, in the same article on Ruth Bader Ginsburg, all of these laws that codified men as the breadwinners and the beneficiaries and women as dependents were declared unconstitutional in those five years. But that was 1974. We're only like 50 years out. Yeah. I mean, even 1920 isn't that long ago in this hundred years. And when you look at the entire history of the world, it is a drop in time. It is. So yeah, I think a lot of people, especially if you grew up in a

very traditional home, might still have this concept of patriarchal society and can't really get past the idea of a man not being a breadwinner. Again, like makes me so mad at those people. Yeah. I think it's the sweetest setup ever. And she sounds happy. He sounds happy. Yeah, sounds ideal. I love it. I want to be friends with them. I know. I want to have a bee, bee hut, bee farm, my own honey. I love buying honey from the farmers market. That's like my favorite purchase there. It helps with allergies too. I know. The pollen does. So if you buy the bee pollen, especially if it's local pollen from your area, it helps with allergies. I have some at my freezer right now. This next comment though, I really like, as a husband who went to part time so my

wife could pursue her career, I appreciate everyone's comments here. I walked away from a director title to take care of my three girls. I've gotten some shit from coworkers for it. And I just don't understand. I feel they'll regret it at 70. Four years later, I don't regret it for a second. My oldest turned 16 in three months. I'd never get these days back. We love a good girl dad. Your husband sounds like the coolest person I've never met. Screw what everyone else thinks. If it works for you, it's a win. Hell yeah. I can really agree. Should be friends. Same. Get rid of them. We want to be your friends. Call us. Let us know where you live. If anyone in California has bees, that's us name.

Morgan loves to get stung. So just call her up. No, but you wear a little suit. I know. But I have seen that video going viral where that woman just straight up sticks her hand in there. She should shake them off. She had a ball. Apparently the queen bee was in it or something. I don't know. But she shook her hand and they all flew away. It was like, how aren't they going mad at you? But we did have a little incident with Morgan's dog. My dog didn't get stung by a bee today. But I don't care. She's fine. So invite me to your bee farm if you're in California or close by. Just bring a dog suit for Holly. She doesn't need another vet bill. Holly wants to hang out with the bees. With the bees. Not a chance.

But yeah, I think that's all I got for the friends stories. And you had great contributions as well. Thanks. But some naked ones. Yeah. There were a couple other comments on Instagram that were just really great. And a lot of them referred to how to cut toxic friends out or how to deal with friends that are being super toxic. And I think there's definitely steps you can take. Like one, set some boundaries, communicate your feelings to them. Like if they're hurting your feelings and, you know, things like that, really address it before it gets worse. And then if you have addressed it, create some distance, really work on, you know, building your other friendships. And three, if none of the above works, cut cut. Adios. It's not worth it at the

end of the day to have unsupportive toxic friendships. Like life is way too short to be unhappy or have other people treat you like shit. So friends can do some shitty things. And at the end of the day, it's not a reflection on you. And it is within your right to create boundaries. Well, it could be a reflection on you. That's why you need to ask if you're the asshole or not. Yeah, no, no, no. But if friends are mean to you. I know, I know, I'm just playing. But yes, you might be the asshole. Yeah, we just got to check ourselves. True. Very true. Well, thanks guys for joining us. I'm not sure if there will be a deep dive from this. I'm trying to think what story they were all so good. I don't want to skip any.

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