Two Hot Takes - 170: Someone's Feeling Triggered..

Episode Date: June 13, 2024

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Michaela Okland! This week's episode has us responding to stories where someone is a bit peeved, upset, or triggered by the situations they're in. Whether it's a stepdaughter who won't stop singing, finding out your friends lied about your boyfriend, or your boyfriend's dad hitting on you.. these are all "triggering". Can't wait to hear your thoughts!! Bonus Content on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Michaela's Instagram :) https://www.instagram.com/michaelaokland/?hl=en MERCH IS HERE ! https://shop.twohottakes.com I can't wait to see you all in these, especially at our live shows!! Our PO Box!! Two Hot Takes. 5042 Wilshire BLVD. #470. Los Angeles, CA 90036 Our SubReddit to Submit YOUR Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes Partners: Babbel: babbel.com/tht Talkspace: Talkspace.com/tht Promo code: SPACE80 Shopify: Shopify.com/tht Lume: https://lumedeodorant.com/ Promo code: tht

Okay, are you ready? I'm so ready. I do have one too, by the way. You do? I do. But I feel like you've probably seen it. I was like going through and I went through the two hot takes Reddit

and I was like, there's no way she hasn't seen every single one of these. I honestly, I've been a little off the grid in the past couple weeks. Okay, well maybe I have one that we haven't seen, but I don't know who could even say. I think this is gonna be really good. I didn't even tell you the theme to like find a story for.

But honestly, it's gonna fit no matter what because the theme today is just feeling triggered or the stories are a little triggering. Okay, well, yes. Well, yes. It fits, yes. Let's introduce you, because you're gonna be coming on

as a little bit more of a little regular here and there. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Everyone remembers Michaela Oakland, right? It's okay if you don't. This is Michaela. She's been on, I think two episodes for sure.

This is the three P. This is the third. This is the three P. Here we go, baby. It's so fun having you on every time. I feel like it's just always like chill, a lot of giggles. Yeah, you're one of those people that I always feel like I can talk to for so long. And like, I had, oh my God, I had lunch with someone, like a new friend recently.

She's lovely. But like, you know, when you're having those awkward moments where you're like, kind of quiet and you're both trying to think of what to talk about next. And I literally was like, you know who I've never had this with? I've never had this with Morgan. And that's probably why you're so good at podcasting. I'm just a gabber. Like, well, and then I awkwardly overshare. So like, if we did have that moment, you'd never notice because I just sit there. I just keep talking. I'm like, but you don't just talk about you. I have questions.

Yeah, you're very considerate. I have questions. You're a good conversationalist. Okay, thank you. I just get so awkward that I just like keep talking and I'm just like, I'll talk until someone literally puts me out of my misery and like tells me to stop talking. No, it comes off very well.

Like I was thinking of you positively. Oh, I love that. But yeah, we're always in a different location. This is our third episode and still a new location. Literally, I'm in between studios right now. So we're recording in my house. We've got horses out the window in front of us. It's like a very surreal experience today.

They're lovely by the way. They have fashion going on, braids and all that. Yeah. Yeah. They have booties. They're boozy horses. Only the best. They are. Okay, everyone. Let's dive in. I'm kind of scared. No, it's going to be good. It's going to be really good. No, I can handle it. I can handle it. We got this.

You're like, do I? I don handle it. We got this. You're like, do I? I don't know. Okay. This first one is three hours old. Oh my goodness. Fresh. Coming from AITAH titled, Am I the asshole?

My husband pantsed me while I was changing our baby's diaper. And I asked him to never do that again. Not a long story here. I, female 32, was changing our baby's diaper when my husband, male 37, snuck up behind me and pulled down my pants. Just the pants, not the underwear. He wanted me to include this part.

He did it to make me laugh. I elbowed him and yelled at him. I apologized for elbowing him. It was just a reaction. I asked him to never do it again, and now he won't agree and just keeps laughing. He says I'm overreacting, but I'm really just asking him to not do it again. And I'm worried he's gonna do it all the time now. He says he'll stop if the internet agrees with me, but he is confident you will all think he's hilarious. I really don't wanna deal with this anymore. Please just say, quote,

"'It's funny once, but not again.' Am I the asshole?" Compared to the pranking husband that you guys had last week. Oh, shit, baby shit on toast. Yeah. Like with that as, you know, fresh in my mind. The threshold now. Right, right, right.

And I don't want to make that. I don't want to make baby shit on toast the threshold. To be very clear. I don't love this. I think if you tell someone like, no, seriously, I don't like that, it should be respected and they should stop. I don't think he's like, you know, there needs to be divorce because of the situation. I don't think we're there quite yet. I don't think we're at divorce level, but I think like anyone who has a new baby is very tired. They're already on a thin wire. If they really don't wanna be pantsed, let's leave it.

Let's leave the pantsing alone. Who pantses people anymore? I was thinking that. I was like, maybe I'm just not part of the community. No, I literally, I don't think I've heard of anyone getting pantsed since like middle school, freshman year of high school. Like that feels very childish. And it wasn't even that big then. I don't think I've heard of anyone getting pantsed since like middle school, freshman year of high school.

Like that feels very childish. And it wasn't even that big then. I'll be honest. I think like pantsing is sort of a dying, not going to call it art. It's a dying... Why did I have that in my head though? I was envisioning it's a dying art. Yeah, I'm not going to say it's a dying art, but it is a dying activity.

Should be dead. Kill it. No, I agree with her. If you tell him, like, seriously, please stop pantsing me, then he should simply stop. Well, at that point, it's like the respect. Like, I get you think it's funny. It's not to me. I don't enjoy it.

It's giving me anxiety. I'm on edge, always waiting for my pants to come down. Right. What if there's a skid mark? I don't know. Like, don't do it, please. So then you just got to respect your partner's wishes. And again, she was also in the middle of changing a diaper. Of all the times.

Of all the times. There are so many things I think that I have personally found funny and gotten joy from that then someone else is like, okay, don't love that. And I'm like, okay, then I won't do it. And then it's like, it's hard because it does almost make it funnier, but you can't. Especially when it's like someone's clothing, someone's nudity, partial nudity as he was making sure we knew. I think you got to leave that alone. Have you seen all the nudist weddings and stuff that's popping up lately?

No. Nudism? Nudism is making a really strong push. Is it in America as well or is it in Europe? I feel like it's here too. I just saw a TikTok of a lady who, or maybe it was a Reddit story. Return of the Nudist Wedding actually kind of sounds like a good movie name. Oh my God, it was a Reddit story.

We're gonna read it today. We're gonna read it now. Okay, I won't share many details. We're just gonna read it. You got everyone so excited about that. It's a really crazy thing. It's gonna be good, but there's a lot of nudism that's making a comeback. So at least it's not, well, depending on what you like, but I'd rather be pants than have to walk around nude all the time.

I also saw something recently about like a very famous nude beach in Spain, like, or maybe Spain, somewhere in Europe, potentially shutting down because other tourists were like just coming in clothes to watch and like, ogle people. Oh, that would, no. There should be like a gate at the beginning where it's like, ogle people. Oh, that would, no. There should be like a gate at the beginning where it's like, okay, this is the point you have to enter and take your clothes off.

If you don't take your clothes off beyond this point, you can't come in. You have to be a participant. You can't just be an observer. That starts to feel weird. That's like, oh, I always mix these two up and everyone yelled at me last time. Voyeurism, where you enjoy watching other people.

Oh, right, right, right, right. And then there's one where you like showing people. Exhibitionism. Stop. Wait, those are really good words. I learned this. I thought they were interchangeable up until quite recently. I think I would have as well.

I think I also would. I would have assumed- I've only heard voyeurism really. But when you said exhibitionism, I was like, of course, of course that's what it would be called. You're putting yourself on exhibit. Yeah, love that. Makes sense. Where do we think the top comment

is gonna go with this one? I would hope that the top comment is like, no one did anything too fucked up here, but he's the asshole because he should stop. Yeah. I mean, if you asked him not to do it, he shouldn't. Right. Not the asshole. Next comment down, ask him why he cares more about what the internet thinks than his own wife. Ooh, wait, that's a good point. I wasn't thinking about that.

Like why is all the value on if the internet says? Versus respecting her. Right. Versus her saying, I don't like you doing this to me. Like why is all the value on if the internet says? Versus respecting her. Right, versus her saying, I don't like you doing this to me. I feel like there's so many people in the world that like they need to be told no from someone else that like is impartial. Yeah.

Or like, you know what I mean? Well, especially I think in close relationships and like romantic relationships where you're so used to having the back and forth and like, you know, accusing the other one of misremembering a situation and like, no, you always misremember when we have a fight about stuff. And you're like in this like zone with somebody else.

And like, you're used to that. You're like, I don't even respect your, even that that's the person you should be respecting the most like, I need someone else's take. You're always against me. Oh, people are so goofy. So we do have an update on this one. You guys really need to chill, LOL. I'm not going to divorce my husband because he made a joke that didn't land.

That's not how marriage works. I'm curious how many people said divorce because it's not in any of the top 20 comments. Interesting. Yeah, but maybe like for someone who doesn't do internet stuff a lot, if they are getting a bunch of comments, they're probably reading every single one. So the first mention of divorce is talking about how their dad did shit like this in his 40s, did not have any friends, got divorced over it because he got to the point that his wife would cry in the shower. Oh my God.

That's the first mention of divorce. I mean, yeah, I guess if you took this one instance and then put a lot more other things on it, like he doesn't respect your boundaries or he's childish or he doesn't respect that you're a tired mother or changing a baby's, like yeah, you could look more into it and potentially like that could be the case in this relationship and it could be true, but I don't think we or these people have enough context about who they are as people or as a couple to like look that much deeper and it's just the act of like, pantsing her one time.

Well, and if it's a one-off. Although he wants two more. He's really into it. But he's waiting for the votes. So, OP goes on to say, "'Ooh, in an ironic twist, I have decided we are now a pantsing house. I will pants him as often as humanly possible.

And I will be wearing dresses to make myself invincible. Thanks for the terrible advice, although I do agree that no means no, I just don't think it's that deep here. My husband is a really good guy and genuinely hilarious, making the whole family laugh, so I'm going to let him do his thing." Wait, this is funny because this kind of brought them together. This like, I feel like the other people's opinions actually made them care about each other's opinions more. I love that. I also think it's hilarious that she's playing chess and he's just playing checkers.

I'm going to pants him, I'm going to get him back, and I'm going to wear dresses. So it's impossible to pants me. I used to do that when I was a kid because my dad would... Do you know what a zirbert is? No. It's like the belly, like a rat, like. Oh, like someone's belly. Raspberries.

Yeah, and I hated it. I hated it so I would wear onesies all the time as a child because I didn't want him to give me. Just locking it up. So I know all about that. You wear certain clothing and people can't fuck with you. Oh my gosh, that is wild. Those little raspberries.

I hate being tickled. And there was a comment that mentioned it on here. Yeah. Like when people tickle you, or did you ever have your brother, this is, my brother was so mean. He would like sit on me and then do like the typewriter. He would do things similar to that.

Or like, did you ever get a snake twist on your arm? Oh yeah. Yeah. What else was there? People are so mean. The ABC game. Which one is that again? It was so bad.

You would have to like go through the alphabet and someone else would scratch you. And you'd have to be like, A, Albert, B, Bob, Charlie, Delphinia, like you'd have to like go through the alphabet and like sometimes you'd get stuck and they just kept scratching and scratching. I didn't know about that one. I knew about like, I don't think I wanna say the name

of what it was, where they slap someone multiple times. The red light game? Maybe, sorry. slap someone multiple times. The red light game? Maybe. Sorry. I'm like, now, damn, that one sounds bad too. Why, why did we do this as kids? Why are we so weird? I don't know.

Why were so many of the games about like physical pain? Although I do know that like play fighting releases endorphins or one of those, one of those things. It's really good to like play fight with with a father figure as a kid or something. There's like studies on that. Right. Or like the play wrestling. Rough and tumble play. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So maybe even though it hurts,

it does release good stuff so you want to keep doing it. Let us know, child psychologists. Let us know. Okay. Let's move along and get into this nudist one. Ooh, I'm excited. So this is Seven Days Old. It's coming from True Off My Chest. Let us know. Okay, let's move along and get into this nudist one. I'm excited. So this is seven days old. It's coming from true off my chest titled, my brother doesn't understand why I won't come to a naturist resort for his wedding.

I see. My philosophy is that I don't care what others do as long as someone isn't hurting or infringing on my rights or the rights of others. Whatever consenting adults do in their private lives is none of my concern. This extends to my brother and his fiance being naturists. However, I do take an issue with them being angry that I won't attend their wedding. They are having their wedding and reception at a naturist resort.

They met there and I understand it holds significance for them. I even checked if nudity is a requirement for the ceremony and reception, or if it's regular wedding attire. It's a requirement to be nude though, just like all other times at the resort. I've offered to pay for a separate reception for them, however, this just made them even the resort. I've offered to pay for a separate reception for them, however, this just made them even angrier. I'm not comfortable being in nude in front of a large crowd of strangers, either at the wedding or in the resort period. I was asked to be a bridesmaid even though I don't know my brother's fiancé well enough to be friends. I moved to Darwin from Adelaide for work

before my brother met her. I'm definitely not comfortable walking up the aisle arm in arm with a groomsman I've never met when we're both nude. Or standing in front of everyone during the ceremony or being in all photographs when I'm nude. Oh, that everyone just can have. What? My brother's fiance said if she looked like me, she would go nude all the time. Well, doesn't she? But it's not about that.

Yeah, what? You do it either way. I'm not saying being a naturist is wrong. I'm not saying they should not get married at a naturist resort. I'm just uncomfortable with attending the wedding if I'm required to be nude for it. I don't know about his fiance's family, but some of my siblings and cousins or their spouses are also uncomfortable. My parents are no longer with us, so I can't ask them for advice.

I'm just wanting to get off my chest, how I feel about my brother not understanding my discomfort with this. This sounds like my worst nightmare. No, no chance. This actually sounds like, and I'm sure there are so many people out there who are like, this wouldn't be a problem for me. Good for you, and that's so fine.

And like, you can go to those weddings. To be true, and baby. People, no, no. I wasn't even comfortable in like girls' locker rooms, like privately in school. No. I would like go to the bathroom and change, like hide in a corner.

Even now. Yeah, still. Like even now, I'm not like, I'm a towel around me, slip my underwear on, turn around, put my bra on. I'm like, I'm also like that. I can't, I don't have that. I'm not, I'm not the that. I can't. I don't have that.

I'm not the audience for the nudist wedding. I'm not the participant for the nudist wedding. The fact that like, oh my God, first of all, just being there would be too much for me. But then everyone having nude pictures of me who attended, that is also not happening. Not a thing. Oh my God, I just can't. And I'm, so I wanted to see like at the mention of pictures just now, I wanted to see

if there's any nude wedding photos on Google. Oh, oh, that's amazing. I will not be putting them on YouTube because I do not want the video to get taken down. If you want to see them for yourself, it's a quick, easy Google search nudist wedding. Oh, okay, Adam and Eve. So this wedding party tastefully puts the flower arrangements in front of the women's

breasts. And it sort of drapes down to the under- The crotch area? Yes, well to the under regions. But the thing that does look kind of weird is the guys standing like very behind the women. Right. The women are almost covering, well they are, they're covering the men's under regions

with their own backsides. It's very intimate to be that close to someone that I've been pushed together with. I think I would have a panic attack actually. This really sounds like my nightmare. I can't, I like literally can't. Holy smokes, this must be the same wedding because look at how many people there are.

Do you think if they're vibe, do you think if their parents were still alive, it would make them less likely to want, or do you think they wouldn't care? I think if parents were around still, they might not be so like, we're only doing the nude wedding and the nude wedding only.

I feel like then they probably would have given into like two receptions. Yeah, like do you think that they would feel weirder about trying to force their parents to show up nude? Probably. I don't know if maybe if you have that mindset you don't even... I would. This is a huge thing you guys.

There's so many nude weddings. There are so many nude wedding pictures. Like this lady has two big daisies. It was on the news. New TLC show, By Naked, about nudists, will only show bare rear ends. Every shot of the front of the woman has like flowers blocking her boobs. Man, TLC has everything. They've got every kind of show. TLC is wild. They're never going out of business. They find the funniest. This isn't like as niche, well, I guess it is because it's nude weddings specifically,

but they find the most niche people in the communities. I'm obsessed. I'll never get over the story about the guy, like my crazy, strange obsession, and he was in love with his car and would get under it and make love. I love that story. And by the way, the blue Porsche from the movie Cars, she's a gorgeous, you know, the

cartoon you've ever seen. Do you know what I'm talking about? Of course I know what you're talking about. But I, this is like one of those things where it's like, she's a beautiful woman. What's like a character that like just has like attraction and spirit. The horse comes up a lot. Yes, yes. Yeah, I get that one.

That, oh my God, cause I made a guess who board based on everyone at the parties cartoon sexual awakening and Spirit the Horse was on there. Spirit the Horse. I don't know if that was mine. I'm trying to think what mine was, but I definitely had the hots for the horse.

Yeah, like Simba's a big one. Simba was huge. That like little, the red riding hood guy. He was a cartoon as well. Yeah, lots of cartoon. I mean, there are some weirder ones, like some My Little Pony types, but that's not that weird compared to all the options. There's just something about it. Did you do this? Did anyone have Shrek? No one had Shrek. That kind of

surprises me because I could feel some people being super into Shrek. I bet maybe they were too embarrassed to say. Maybe people are scared to admit. I could see it. But you know, moral of the story is I don't blame those people for wanting to have a nudist wedding. No. I don't blame them for having that be a meaningful experience for them. The most meaningful, it's your wedding. You should do whatever you want to do for your wedding. But you cannot expect other people ever in general to be naked if they don't want to be naked.

That's just very basic. Yeah. And I feel like they're, like the brothers just like kind of almost being like reverse shamy where it's like, what do you mean? Just be nude. Yeah. But it's like, you're not respecting their choice. They're respecting yours actually.

Right. They're saying like, have your wedding where you want it, how you want it. That's cool. I'll just pay for one, another one. You get bonus, bonus reception. Like make everyone comfortable, have a good time. Also, I always wonder with people that are naturists, you have to put clothes on to go to the grocery store. So there's certain societal expectations still that are in place. Like why are you expecting others to like not live life the way they find comfortably? I don't know. Right.

It's interesting. I'm usually on the side of the people having the wedding. I think like for a day like that, you can have your expectations. You can ask people to do things that they might not like. Wasn't there like a puppet wedding? Yeah. There was a puppet and you know, people were giving them shit and I was like, if they want to have a puppet wedding, that's their prerogative.

Oh my God, that one's so old too. Yeah, they wanted puppets, but like they were, I think they were making their guests buy expensive puppets. Was that the thing? Oh, that was the kicker. And it's like, they're like really nice, expensive puppets. Let your guests just even hand make them and then it's a beautiful memory. Right, right, right.

Nudity puppets. Weddings bring out some weird stuff. Top comment on this one. They're probably pissed. You're just another person who is refusing to come. And since you're family, it's easier to guilt you. That's true. They're probably receiving a lot of pushback, just like, mm, RSVP no, RSVP no.

Yeah, I wonder how many people of my friends would be willing to do that. I think a fair number of them would, but it wouldn't be all of the people that I love and would want to come to something like that. My friends and family would hit me with a rock. Like there's no way they'd be like, are you okay? No, absolutely not.

That's how you could save on food costs at a wedding. If you want to get rid of people from your guest list, nude wedding. Yeah, you're like, well, I invited you. What do you mean? I invited all of you. It's not my fault you didn't come. You could have enjoyed my wedding.

You just chose not to. God, that in itself is triggering. Okay. Moving along. One of this week's partners is Babbel. Is learning a new language on your list? Because it's on mine. I'm working on my Spanish right now. We're getting there, but you know the best way to learn a new language? Immersion.

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Are you ready for your story? My story? Oh, yeah. I'm so excited. You guys, I've prepared a story. I am ready. I'm interested to see if you've already read this. Okay.

Because it actually is very triggering. I think it would fit the theme. Okay, here we go. All right. Am I the asshole, and this is from the Am I the Asshole subreddit. Okay. For being rude to my stepdaughter, and this is from the Am I the Asshole subreddit. Okay. For being rude to my stepdaughter

and banning her from eating with the family. I have two stepdaughters, Scarlett 18 and Ava 16. Scarlett is an amazing singer. She's been in some kind of voice lessons since she was 10 and just graduated from one of the best performing art schools in the state, where she went on a full scholarship since sixth grade.

She has a YouTube channel where she sings and she's starting to make money from and was accepted into some very prestigious music schools. Additionally, she has been working paid gigs for the last two years and makes at least $500 to $1000 per week, more in the summers. She's even been the opening artist at a few concerts. I'm not trying to brag, I'm just saying she's an objectively good singer. Ava, on the other hand, is not a good singer. She likes to believe she is and she might become one if she actually stuck with voice lessons or choir classes, but she always quits after one to two weeks because they're bullying her, quote-unquote. And then in parentheses, giving constructive feedback. I've seen the notes her classmates and she teachers give her.

Ava also likes to sing very loudly and or at bad times. For example, if she feels that we're too quiet at the dinner table, she starts to loudly sing. It doesn't sound good. And I honestly don't know how she doesn't hear it. If you ask her to stop, she keeps going. And if you're blunt and say to stop that she doesn't sound good slash we don't wanna hear it,

she keeps going and gets even louder just to annoy you. If we're in the car and don't let to hear it. She keeps going and gets even louder just to annoy you. Oh no. If we're in the car and don't let her choose the songs, she'll loudly sing whatever she wants, not what's playing, to annoy us, and responds the same way to us telling her to stop. The only person she listens to is her dad. A few weeks ago, we were trying to eat

and she was singing again. I told her to stop and she refused. So I took her plate and told her from now on on she is no longer allowed to eat at my table. She can eat in her room, the backyard, her car, the garage, wherever she wants as long as we can't hear her from the dining room. The backyard? This will continue until she can behave appropriately at the table. My husband and I argued about it, but he's not home for dinner, so there's not much he can do about it. Today, she was eating lunch with us and started singing again. I told her to stop, and she didn't listen, so I again took her plate and told her to eat

somewhere where we can't hear her if she doesn't want to act appropriately. Ava argued that she's a better singer than Scarlett, and that Scarlett sings all the time. I was done with her bullshit, so I asked her how many times someone other than her dad has actually asked her to sing, not even paying her to be there, just ask her to sing, or how many performing arts schools she's gotten accepted to. She's applied to many. She started to cry, and my husband wants me to apologize for being rude to her and is insisting I allow her to eat with the family again.

Am I the asshole? Yeah. How old was Ava again? Ava is 16 and the older daughter is 18. It's hard because the way this is written, it's giving Scarlett is the golden child. Yes. And Ava is just like kind of like- A whole paragraph at the beginning about how amazing Scarlett is, how wonderful and talented and incredible she is. And then, hmm, the younger one is very attention seeking.

Ava sucks basically. Ava's the worst singer. Ava sounds like dying animals, nails on a chalkboard. Ava's terrible. Like it just almost like kept going on and on. It's like, well, no wonder she's trying to get your attention because you dote on your other daughter and think this one is worse than mud.

Like, of course she's just trying to like be praised in some way. And it's like, if you paid her attention and we're like, Ava, that's great. Like, I think you should keep going in your lessons to really hone your craft. Maybe she wouldn't quit. Maybe she wouldn't be singing nonstop.

Maybe she wouldn't sing the wrong song. Like she's clearly seeking attention because she doesn't get any. Yeah, there's clearly a dynamic here that is at play behind the scenes that the writer isn't really telling us about, but is also telling us about by just praising the older daughter

for sentences and sentences. I was like almost gonna skip it, but like it adds to the dynamic daughter for sentences and sentences. I was like almost going to skip it, but it adds to the dynamic. Yeah, it does. It's kind of one of those read between the lines where you're kind of deducing, is it annoying? Absolutely. Would it drive me up a wall? 100%. And I think maybe saying like, you know, Ava, you're going to have to eat in your room tonight until you can realize like, it's just inappropriate to sing nonstop at the table. Yes.

But at the same time, if Scarlett is sitting there singing at the table too, then Ava should be able to sing. Yes. Even if she's bad. Yeah. There's so many like parents that have to lie to their kids, telling their kids that their art or blah, blah, blah is beautiful and great and it actually sucks. That also kind of comes with being a parent

and building your kid up, not tearing them down. There are so many other ways to do it where you could mention like, if you committed to your lessons more than maybe like, you could also be at these gigs like Scarlet or just saying like the commitment aspect than maybe like you could also be at these gigs like Scarlett or, you know, just saying like the commitment aspect maybe is what is missing instead of saying you don't sound good

or like who listens to you? Who would ever- Who's paid you? Who's ever asked you to sing for them before? Like that's so mean. That is really mean. The top comment was, something tells me she's doing this

to try and get attention. How obvious is it that you're so proud of her sister? How much praise and attention does she get? And how often is that done in front of Ava? This sounds incredibly obnoxious, but something tells me there's a reason she's doing it. Yeah. Okay, good.

We're, we're on the same page. I could have seen it go either way, especially with Reddit. Sometimes I could have seen it. Totally. I could have seen it go like, no, not the asshole. Like she should learn her lesson and realize it's obnoxious. So I'm glad other people are kind of picking up, maybe it's a you thing that you're creating this toxic competition between your two kids. Yeah. I think if she had worded it a different way, people would have been on her side,

but because it was so obvious. And this this is a child who is clearly like crying out literally for love and for attention and for praise. Like obviously there's some bitterness and there's some jealousy there, and that's not a great quality, but it's hard to avoid having, like it's not her fault for having that. No, I think that's natural. And thinking about the way I looked up to my older brother, of course she's going to look up to her older sister and she's a great singer. So I want to sing, like I want to be like my older sister, even if it's not her thing. But it's because of the way the mom has also treated the sister, put her on this

pedestal that she sees this as her only way to get attention, love, whatever she's looking for. Yeah, she's like, singing is the route to praise and attention from my parents. Yes. Another comment is, everyone sucks here. Ava, just because she's annoying, she sounds annoying AF, and you, because you're a parent and she's a child.

And you've seemingly repeatedly told her she's not good at something she's passionate about and not in a nice way. Encourage her to follow other pursuits and definitely continue to enforce that it's inappropriate to loudly sing when people want a quiet meal, but brutally laying out that she's rubbish at the one thing she's passionate about and rubbing in her failure to succeed is pretty harsh, especially when it's coming from a parental figure, especially when it's followed up with, now go and eat alone. And then the OP responded that she's tried soccer and she's actually good at it,

but refuses to try out for the school team. And with her tendency to quit after a couple of weeks because the teacher tried to teach, we're not going to pay for her to join a club team. It just sounds like there is a dynamic at home that's creating a really big insecurity in this child. And like even if she is good at stuff, she's, I feel like she's scared to really try and fail because that'll be more embarrassing than not trying and failing.

100%. Because she's set up to this standard of like a perfect older sister. Yeah. I was a quitter. Like I did soccer, quit. I did hockey, quit. I did volleyball, quit.

I just, I don't know what it was. I think I had like performance anxiety, like public performance anxiety and like having to like play a game in front of people, like the thought, nope. Like I did dance too, and I literally quit right before the end of the year recital because I didn't want to dance in front of other people.

I loved going to dance, I loved the community and doing it, but I didn't want to get out there and perform. The fear of failure or embarrassing myself was way bigger than my love of doing it. Yeah, and then imagine that plus, like all of these people watching already probably know the reputation of your older sister who's like opening for concerts and getting paid for gigs and they're like, oh, here comes the ugly duckling or like the black sheep with a family. Yeah, that's hard to live up to that.

Like, yeah, she's annoying. I was so annoying too in high school sometimes. Isn't everyone? Yeah, I think so. But I was like a theater kid. You're so cute. I was the horse girl. I feel like theater kid, horse girl. We're walking to a bar. We're right there. Two peas in a pod. So I think she's the asshole. I would agree. And that's what Reddit said. I would agree. They labeled it asshole. Was there any updates? I would agree. And that's what Reddit said.

I would agree. They labeled it asshole. Was there any updates? Well, the OP did reply a couple times. Trying to defend or did she kind of realize? Really just defending her point. Like just saying, we've tried, it never works. At some point with her, I feel like you just have

to be blunt and then someone replied to her being like, you're blunt about the wrong things though. Blunt is refuting her claims with Ava to be as good as Scarlett, you'd have to put the same sustained effort and she has raw talent means nothing if you don't work to develop it. Or no Ava Scarlett doesn't sing all the time because she's understands that it's rude to sing while everyone's eating dinner. Blunt is not merely no, no one wants to hear you sing. So really, she was just doubling down. Damn. Yeah. I don't know if like maybe now she's thinking about it more though.

Maybe. That is a good point too. It's like your point isn't necessarily wrong. It's how you're delivering it. Yeah. It's like, well, Scarlett's so good because of all the years and effort she's put in. If you put that same amount of time and energy in,

you could be at that level. Right. Instead of saying like,, will people pay to hear Scarlett sing and no one's ever even asked you to sing before? Like, well, has she had the opportunities? Who's seen her? You know, it's, yeah. This is an interesting one. I hope you get an update on this one, actually. I know. I really do. I would love it because this didn't happen in a vacuum and I feel like this parent is sort of seeing it as it did and then everyone else who's reading this can so clearly tell it and I feel like sometimes you need other people to see what you're seeing and get that

different perspective to realize like, oh shit, maybe this is something deeper that I haven't considered and she's not just an obnoxious brat who's doing this for no reason whatsoever except to annoy me. Her last comment on Reddit is two days ago and it's got negative 67 points and it's saying, at a certain point, maintaining a relationship becomes a two-way street. If a teenager decides that they want to be repeatedly disrespectful to an adult, they shouldn't be surprised that they don't have a relationship. That's her last, like most recent comment. Damn.

I know. Oh, so wild. And another comment was like, she has found something she's good at. She just expects us to pay hundreds for club soccer instead of her school team when she hasn't shown us that she won't quit after two weeks. How much do you pay for the other kids singing lessons?

Yeah. Give it a shot. She just like has no expectations for her. She has like the worst expectations for her. Yeah, she's like kind of assuming the worst in her character and it's like, give her a chance and then if she quits the club team, then that's the last time you pay for any extracurriculars. Yeah, she says...

Give her a chance. And she said, Scarlett doesn't sing at the table, by the way. Oh, okay. So that's like a point I would make then, like how that one comment even said, like Scarlett doesn't sing at the table though. We would just appreciate it if dinner could be

a nice relaxing time. Maybe we have conversation, but you know, the singing at the table, it's not enjoyable for everyone. You can put on a concert for all of us once a week and we'll listen to you at a set of time. We'll get some popcorn. But would she even be willing to do that? I'm not sure.

I don't know. We need an update on this one. We'll be waiting. OP if you're listening, update and get your shit together. Her username was literally AITA loud singingT-A-Loud-Singing. She made it just for this. Just for this. Oh man. Get it together lady. Poor kid. Okay, up next. Another one of this week's partners is Talkspace. You guys know we love therapy in this house. I've benefited from it immensely in the past. I'm getting back into

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code SPACE80 to get $80 off your first month and show your support for the show. That's talkspace.com slash THD, promo code SPACE80. This is a little vintage. It is originally coming from October 28, 2015. Whoa. It's titled, A year ago, I, 27 female, broke up with my lying boyfriend, 27 male. Today, I found out that everyone was lying and he was being truthful. Wait. Okay. Let's set this scene. Imagine Dragons is on the radio.

Radioactive. Miley Cyrus is just starting to act out and you're like, what's going on? A year ago, I was about to move in with my first serious boyfriend, Josh, with whom I was head over heels in love with when one of my closest friends said that Josh had shown them a nude photo of me on his phone when he was drunk during a party. Oh my God. them a nude photo of me on his phone when he was drunk during a party. Five or six more of my friends corroborated the story and told me that Josh also talked in extreme detail about our sex life when showing this photo. It was sickeningly detailed. This did not sound like Josh at all.

When I asked him what the fuck was going on, he denied everything. He eventually got very angry and started calling all of my friends liars. At one point, he showed up at my place while some of them were visiting and things got a little physical. It was really a very strange turn of events in my life. Josh seemed so worked up and all of my close friends were calling him a liar. Josh had taken photos of me on his phone, which I know was stupid, but he did the moment and everything. So I trusted my friends and I broke up with Josh.

It was very heart wrenching. Josh begged me to believe him. He started tearing up, nearly punched the wall and left angrily. I was really grossed out at the time and I felt super conflicted. A few months later, I started dating one of the friends in the group, Alex, who had told me about Josh showing everyone the photo. All of my friends were pushing me to date Alex at the time.

We didn't really sink and it just didn't go past a few months. We remained friends of sorts. So today, another friend sends me a message that says he just wanted to get something off of his chest. Oh my God. The story about Josh wasn't true. And they were really trying to get me to date Alex. So they made the story that Josh showed nudes completely up.

After talking to a few of the other people, including Alex, it's all come out that they were lying. It was this fucking orchestrated bullshit event that totally changed my life forever. Apparently they hated Josh and thought he was bad for me and an asshole. That was my fucking decision to make. I'm shaking right now. I cried in the office bathroom for about two hours

afterwards. I loved Josh so much. We're planning a life together. And I've been friends with that group since high school. What the fuck? I guess I'm supposed to stop talking to my friends, right? I cannot possibly come back from this and still talk to them, right? This basically nukes my group of friends. But how could I ever look at them again? Also, I need closure with Josh. Can I call him? Should I call him? Should I unblock him on Facebook and message him? What do I do? Oh my God. Wait, to clarify the timeline, so did she find this information out like nine years later? It appears it was a year later. How old were they again when this happened?

27 female. 27 female when this all went down. These were like grown adults. Yeah, and friends since high school, that could be 18, 17, 16, 15. So like it's likely at least 10 years of friendship. 10 years. This is so deeply fucked up. This is so manipulative. And they were trying to control her in a way to also put her together with this other guy. They tried to take someone out,

put someone else in, she's a little Barbie doll, and they could switch out the Kens for her. She isn't a real person. And if he really is a shitty guy and a shitty boyfriend and all of her friends felt that way, they could use real examples if that were the case. They could have used, this is why we think he sucks,

we all wanna come to you and tell you we don't think he's a good guy because he said this and that and whatever, but they couldn't do that. They used a made up story. Yeah, it's weird. I also think it's weird that Alex, the guy that they wanted OP to date,

was the one that then was like, here's the nudes, like he showed me these nudes of you. Right. Like he was, do you, how does the group not see like, you guys, this is not- He's the manipulative shitty guy. A good guy. Yeah.

This is manipulation, this is lying, this is backstabbing, this is gaslighting. Oh my God. Sorry, this is so fucked up. This is, this feels like psychological torture. Yeah, you would be so messed up for so long in your head about like if people are telling you the truth, because there is no world in which I would ever believe

that a whole group of six to seven of my closest friends would lie to me. No. And then the damage that that would do to figure out that they did. Wait, so did she, do we know if she talked to Josh and like told him? So the top comment on the post, holy shit. Yes, at the very least, these people need

to not be a part of your life ever again. Fuck. Nuke the friends, find new friends. Even a life of bitter, friendless loneliness is better than one that involves these people. Make no exception. Cut all contact. So gross. As for Josh, you should reach out to him. You owe him an apology for how things went down. I don't know if this will mean anything further will happen, but the conversation should be at least be him learning the truth about what went down. Yeah, unblock him from Facebook and write a long letter. If this goes unanswered, attempt to get the message to him through one of his friends. Good luck. I mean, I agree that she should apologize to Josh, but I don't think she did anything

wrong in believing this situation. No, it's kind of like you can only process with like what's in front of you. And when you have six people against one, like... Right, six people that you spent like 10 years with. Yeah. I get that it sucks that she didn't believe him and he was telling the truth and like that put him in a bad situation,

but they're the ones who did that to him, not her. Yeah. And this is like one thing I have an issue with, with OP. And this might be like tomato, tomato, closure might be the same as apology, but I don't think Josh like owes OP anything. Right. I don't think Josh owes you closure. Like for OP to be like, I want to reach out to Josh and like, I need closure with Josh. I hope closure is like you apologizing.

And like, because at the same time, like that was who you saw life with. You were moving in together. You were maybe envisioning marriage. Like you should trust your partner. And if you don't trust, like obviously you break up, which they did. But at the same time, like,

it doesn't sound like you really hurt him out. I don't know. It might be a tomato tomato. Yeah, from his perspective, it's devastating. From both of their perspectives, it's devastating. The breakup would have been devastating for both of them, but also, yeah, to not be believed in the person that you love the most and trust the most in this world, who's the partner that you're planning your life with, and to be telling them and crying at them that this isn't true,

and you didn't do this, and you wouldn't do this, like that's got to be so, so painful. And then the bonus pain of like a year later being like, ha ha, just kidding, it's actually everyone that you've ever cared about as a friend who lied to you, but sorry, you've already lost your partner. So like, you just get to lose everybody. Yeah, that's so sad. I don't know. Do you feel she should reach out to Josh?

I feel like if it were me, if I were Josh, this would be vindicating for me. Like I do think I would want to know that someone out there doesn't think a horrible lie about me, but that doesn't mean like he owes her a response, he owes her any kind of conversation about it or getting back together with her or anything of that nature. I don't think like it's beyond repair if he feels like he could repair it. Like, if he felt like it wasn't her fault. Yeah. I don't think like she did a terrible thing, but it had terrible consequences.

Yeah. Oh, it's just sad. Someone goes, this is like a highlighted comment on the original. Yeah, I'm with you. Just reading this story leaves me fuming. I was totally empathizing with Josh, but come on, OP is entirely in the clear here. It's a baseless accusation when one friend says it, when an entire circle, whom at the time were trusted with no reason to suspect otherwise all agree. I don't think it's at all unreasonable to believe them.

Imagine it the other way, that they were telling the truth. Josh lied and she stuck with him only finding out now. Everyone would be calling her a moron for disregarding the opinion of multiple trusted friends. Yeah, that's such a good point. Josh owes her nothing and is quite right to be angry at her for not trusting him and at the friends for being utter, utter scum.

But his anger being justified doesn't mean she was in the wrong. They're both victims. Yeah, that's exactly how I feel. Cause it's not like, do you trust me or this one other person? It's do you trust me or like seven corroborating- A whole group.

Like that's how our justice system would work. The jury of your peers. Literally. Yeah. Like one eyewitness, maybe they could be lying, but like they have a vested interest or so she thought in her wellbeing. This is, I'm blown away by this one.

No, this would do a num, this would do many numbers on me. This would do at least seven numbers on me. Your trust in friends is like shattered forever. Forever. And then also, now she's got this whole thing in her head of like, have I lost the person that I was meant to be with? And she's gonna compare every future partner to that guy. And like, it's gonna change the way that she remembers him

to be like, he's the one that got away. He's the one I fuck things up with. Like, he's gonna constantly be this scale that she's comparing other people to. So sad. She definitely is the one who suffers the most, but I also feel really bad for Josh. Yeah, definitely. Oh my God.

Envisioning the rest of your life, like the one that got away. Yeah. Oh. So we do get an update. Oh, good. So the update came about a week later, so still 2015. Okay. Even though everyone seemed to think it was a terrible idea, I sent Josh an email on Friday.

I copied it here. Josh, I don't know if you are still connected to anyone on Facebook, but if you are, you probably already know why I'm sending this. And I know it is totally unfair and selfish to contact you, but I cannot imagine going through the rest of my life without apologizing. So before I say a bunch of embarrassing things, more than anything, I want to say that I am sorry I did not trust you. I'm sorry I let other people decide our relationship. I am sorry for what I put you through. But I figure this might be my only

chance to say this. So here comes the really lame embarrassing stuff. I spent the past day thinking about the past year. Where I would be if I believed you, what my life would be like. Would we be engaged? Would we be married? I'm not over you. I want to try again. I'm not asking you to marry me, but if you ever find yourself thirsty, I would love to buy you a beverage of your choice. I want to talk to you again. I miss everything about our relationship. I miss you getting annoyed when I stole your french fries. I miss fighting with you over money. I miss making you breakfast. I miss watching The Office with you over and over and over. I miss you. My information is still the same. I would not blame you if you ignored and deleted this. Just know that

I know I am really sorry. So I sent it and I tried to take my mind off of it. Just writing it and sending it was extremely cathartic. I spent Saturday morning sitting around watching old movies when someone rang my doorbell. Wait, stop, okay, wait, this is crazy, I'm crying. This is like a movie. Assuming it was Amazon, I ignored it and waited for the delivery driver to leave

so that I could sneak out and grab the package. I was in my robe. After a minute or two, I walked over to the door and looked through the hole. It was Josh. Stop, wait, you're kidding. You're lying to me. You're not even being serious right now.

Obviously, my heart leapt into my throat. I had been compulsively checking my phone for a response, but I was not expecting something like that. Everything in my house, including me, was pretty disheveled. I cracked the door, smiled, said hi, and told him that I had to get dressed really quick. What a terrible interaction.

So I ran around my place, throwing shit in corners, pulled my hair back, found something to wear, and went back to the door. Quote, I'm here for that beverage. You're lying! You're lying to me! No! Morgan, I can't handle it. Oh my god, wait. I'm so emotionally invested in this. I only had orange juice and water, which was also pretty embarrassing, but Josh stuck around anyways. He didn't ask him any questions really. I started to talk about the nude photo incident,

but he said he didn't really care to talk about it. Quote, we both know all of the details now. The conversation eventually grew a bit aimless and we were just talking like old times. It was wonderful. He asked if I was hungry. I wasn't really, but of course I said I was. Stop, stop, stop, stop.

We went to a nearby burger place that we used to go to all the time. He did ask whether or not I had dated Alex. He didn't seem upset by my answer. I asked him if he had dated anyone. He had a six month long relationship in the interim. She sounded great, but I didn't pry. When we got back to my place,

Josh asked what I was doing the rest of the day. Quote, I don't have any plans. We spent the rest of the day together, then the night. It was totally stupid to move that fast, but I'm not going to spend much time worrying about it. I'm feeling happy. We spent part of Sunday together too, then Tuesday and Wednesday.

We discussed what we were doing. Quote, two single people dating each other was the consensus. Quote, exclusive? Question mark, yes. Stop. I think the world of him and will always regret what happened.

No matter what though, I'm extremely happy I sent the letter to him. It's interesting to think that if he had actually done what everyone accused him of, and then I took him back, I would probably have trust issues. Now, obviously I trust him to the core. He could tell me the world was flat

and I'd have trouble questioning him. Just a weird thought I've been having. So that's the story. We are together again. Will it work out? I hope so. No matter what, things are better today than they were last week.

Oh my God. My face hurts. My face hurts. I'm sitting here cheesing so hard. I'm so happy. Wait, wait. So is there a recent update too? I don't see it.

No, this is just coming back into the light for some reason. I mean, now it's eight years old. I want to know if they're still together. But you know what? This is how every great story ends. It's like they're together now and that's the curtain's fall. I'm so curious. I'm going to the account just to make sure there's nothing else. Wow.

I mean, I hope he doesn't ever lie about anything because she would believe it now. I know. Gosh, that's like the tough part about it. I'm not seeing any updates. I love that they got back together. I, again, like I disagree with that first comment about how, like, she did something so terrible by not believing him. It was an unfortunate situation that wasn't in her control that I feel like most people would react that way. And like

you said, if someone were to react the opposite way, people would be calling her stupid and dumb and like ridiculous for not believing her friends in that situation. And I think they're soulmates. I think they're meant for each other. I think this should be turned into a movie. This needs to be, ah, I'm messaging OP right now. Wait, Please do. Honestly, I'd be okay with it if they aren't still together just for, you know, I feel like it's still a beautiful love story,

but I don't know, I have faith in them. I have hope for their relationship. What if they're married, like two kids, a dog? Well, that's what I thought. I thought that that's why it came back. I thought it was like, it's nine years later and we're like, we have kids now or something like that. I fucking wish.

Why is this popping up now after eight years? It is kind of crazy, the sluice of Reddit, diving that deep. Maybe it came, this is my theory, it came back because they're married now. And there was a Facebook post and people remembered it. Oh God, I hope so. I'm looking at posts on OP's account, no additional posts. OP is still actively commenting from this account as of seven months ago. So hopefully we get a response to the message, but I'm not seeing anything in relation to the post about Josh. That was like the perfect story. It was so good. How do we go on from here? I've not seen anything in relation to the post about Josh.

That was like the perfect story. It was so good. How do we go on from here? I laughed, I cried, I was heartbroken. My heart was put back together again. 10 out of 10, five stars on Goodreads. Huge recommend. Lincoln bio.

Lincoln bio. I'm just like scanning through all these comments. I don't want to miss anything. I'm just like, oh, please give us something about you guys. We're engaged. But no, it just looks like there's stuff about like an arcade guide around the Dallas Fort Worth area. So Dallas people, if you know anyone familiar, this sounds like, let us know.

I would also be interested like, if she ever took any of her friends back, if she ever spoke to them again. Like even the one that did come clean. Right. And was like telling OP the truth. Yeah, yeah, cause that's such a fucked up thing to do. I'm sure there's like at least one friend in the group,

like the one who came forward, who just had the mob mentality and like went along with it and has been guilty about it this whole time. I do think like people who don't feel guilt about something like that and aren't haunted by doing something like that scare me so much. Genuinely the most concerning people. Like if you do something wrong to someone, I feel like it should keep you up at night.

Like I still think about things that have come off wrong that I said to people when I was like 12 years old. Like I'll randomly, it'll hit me in the middle of the night and I'll feel bad about it. But then like to have that person actively in your life and like constantly see them and not say something. Well, especially, I wonder if it came out finally because like things with Alex didn't work out anyways. Right. And so it was like one of those things like, well, they're not working out. So why not tell her the truth? Yeah. I guess it was like a year before that guy came forward, which isn't like, it's not that it's bad,

but it's like, at least he didn't let it go. Well, and at least it was a year and then OP got the chance. Like, God, the bar is in hell, right? But like they're working out now. They're dating again. It's the only person who did do that out of all of these people who supposedly care about her. Yeah, which the, what are the odds on that?

Like one out of six, fuck those people. Yeah, and they had like some kind of packed about it clearly, crazy. This one blows me away. I'm like really hoping OP is out there. What a story. Listening or something and just like, please OP let us know what happened with you and Josh.

That's gob smacking. There you go. I think all our gobs got smacked. That's gob smacking. There you go. I think all our gobs got smacked. Your gob got smacked. There you go. I was waiting for it to come back. I was waiting for it. Oh man, I just like, I can't,

I just like need to sit here for a second. Yeah. I honestly feel like I just read one of the greatest romance novels. It was so good. He shows up at her door and he says, I'm here for that drink. Are you kidding me? Wattpad is calling. Hello?

I'm here for that drink. When also when you were telling that story and you said like something about the thirsty comment, I was expecting it to go a different direction. I thought it was like you're thirsty, like you're desperate for someone. Or if you're ever thirsty, yeah, like my door's open. Yeah, like I'll be your booty colleague when I miss you. Yeah. Yeah, no, I really, I was like, wait, thirsty? Damn, okay. Yeah. I will say I'm glad that OP sent the letter. I was just worried initially that it was going to be like closure, like you needed something from him versus like an apology.

So I'm so, so happy about the way that that email was written. That letter was beautifully written. It was so kind. It was so compassionate and thoughtful and like, and then it got so sweet and romantic. And I was like, wait, I miss all of these beautiful moments we have together, like eating fry. I don't remember everything she said, but I was just like, I'll take you back. I would take you back.

I would take you back, yeah, go for it. Get it going, girls. Get it going, guys. We should all be at their wedding. I think we all deserve to be invited to their wedding. Yeah. Even if it were nudist, I maybe would show up. Honestly, this might be one I would strip for. I'd consider. Can you do pasties at least?

That's a good point. And like a nude underwear. They should allow that, I feel. I feel like that would be a good compromise. Not to take it back to that Reddit, but I feel like that actually is a really good idea. A nude thong? Yeah, or like- Skin-toned thong? Yeah, like nude underwear, nude bathing suit. I don't know. It's a resort. I feel like if I could do a skin-toned thong, I would feel comfortable enough to do it.

Right, because then you wouldn't be like standing out. You would still look nude to the- Yeah. To the un- Yeah, you still see my butt.... discerning eye. I feel like that's what people want to see. My butt's here. For the most part.

They'd love to see some poops as well. Well, but like- Well, no, but this isn't about wanting to see anything. On the bottom. But why do you, why do people go nude? Well, I'm- Is it just comfortable? I think it's freeing to them.

I feel like- Fabric is itchy. Yeah. And something, I think that's just like the mind's- it's freeing to them. I feel like- Fabric is itchy. Yeah. And something, I think that's just like the mind's... It's definitely not sexual though. It's like, we should interview a nudist. We should. A nude colony.

You certainly have one who's a listener, I'd imagine. We have some nudists out there for sure. Let us know why and how you got into it. Give us the tea. Handing over the microphone to you. This is your moment. Okay. Moving along. Wow. I know. How do you top that?

I'm going to be thinking about it. Another one of this week's partners is Shopify. Cha-ching! When I started this podcast, the last thing I was thinking of is merch and people wanting something with two hot takes on it. But Shopify has made that whole process easy. Seriously, none of you would have merch if it weren't for Shopify. Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business. Whether you're just launching your first online store or you're ready to take it to the storefront, they're gonna help you grow, scale your business

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at Shopify.com slash THT. All lowercase, go to Shopify.com slash THT now to grow your business, no matter what stage you're in. Shopify.com slash THT. Cha-ching. Well, this next one's a little triggering, so we're gonna have some whiplash. Okay, well that first one, if it had not had that followup,

that was devastating. That was so bad. This next one is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Taking Away My Brother's Plus One and Inviting His Girlfriend Myself. I know I kind of am an asshole, but I need to know how bad it was. My brother is 29 and has been with Leah for about two years. We all like her. She is super nice. I'm getting married next April and sent an invite to my brother's apartment. We decided to send

invites to households and not individuals. For example, our aunt received an invite for her family and not each individual. Last Thursday, we met at my parents parents place. It was just the core family because of some tax reasons lol. While there I asked my brother about Leah's dietary restrictions. I know that she is a vegetarian for health reasons and that she cannot have certain raw vegetables. He said that she wasn't going to come and that he was taking his girl best friend Amanda instead. Now their relationship is weird as fuck. Amanda has always been stringing my brother along, in my opinion. He always denies having feelings for her, but let's be real here. Amanda would date other guys, blow off my

brother, then when things would decline with her partners, she would be attached to him again. Her last boyfriend broke up with her right around the time my brother, his then ex-girlfriend Amanda and her ex were supposed to travel to Spain. What did my idiot brother do? Go with Amanda alone because Amanda was uncomfortable with his ex-girlfriend. Wait, wait. uncomfortable with his ex-girlfriend. Obviously, he acted blindsided when his then-girlfriend broke up with him. I don't even say anything anymore because it's all so weird. So when he said that, I asked if Leah already had other plans. But my brother said that Amanda had asked if she

could come because it would be an opportunity to finally see the old gang. We were in the same friend group in high school. I told him that I would have invited Amanda if I wanted her there. Amanda is mean and cold. She always makes disparaging comments about other girls. At every event, around one hour in, she will make some sort of scene that either has her running away crying or sitting mad at a table telling everyone to quote, leave her alone. And then making a cryptic comment about something hurting her. I told my brother I was revoking his plus one

and Amanda was not coming to our wedding. He accused me of being misogynistic and bigoted because I don't understand opposite sex friendships, which is bullshit. My husband has a female childhood friend who is his best woman. I love her too, and she has been amazing. All caps. And she respects fucking boundaries. She always includes me and made a huge effort when I started dating my fiance to integrate me into the friend group. Anyways, I said my decision was final. He could take it or leave it, but I would be inviting Leah myself because I like her. He screamed at me and told

me to keep out of his business. I said to get rid of his weird fucking feelings for Amanda. He is mad at me. My dad said, it is none of our deal. My mom is furious with my brother. So am I the asshole? No, she's not the asshole. I can't believe she started this by being like, I know I'm a little bit of an asshole. Because then I was waiting for it. I was like, what has she done that is wrong? First of all, even without all this weirdness, back to our original point, if it's her wedding, she can do what she wants within reason of being like respectful of other people's, you know, decision to be naked. But the fact that she

feels like she did something wrong is shocking to me. I was waiting for it too, because I'm like, no, this is your wedding, your date. If you don't want Amanda there and you can't trust your brother to invite his girlfriend himself, then take away the plus one. You're not the asshole. Yeah. The bottom line is you don't want Amanda there. Yeah. But I will say, this is what's tough.

And I have given this take on another like wedding related plus one story. If you give someone a plus one, you kind of relinquish the control to determine who it is. Yeah. And that's why maybe OP should have addressed the invitation to brother and Leah. Like you put the names of the people in the household you want to come, even though you're sending just one invitation for the household, it automatically implies who it's meant for.

But like you also at the same time should have been able to trust your brother would bring his now kind of longtime girlfriend. But I also get that like, if the bride has negative feelings and negative experiences with a specific person that they do not like nor want at their wedding, then that's a different thing. This is specifically someone that she doesn't like. It's not just like, oh, my brother's bringing one boyfriend or one girlfriend or another girlfriend. It's someone that she knows and does not like and hasn't been nice to her.

That's true. Okay, so in terms of like going forward for like creating almost like a list of wedding rules. Put her on a blacklist. Well, I think everyone should have like blockout lists. Like if there's people you truly don't want coming, you should have that name list at the door, like blah, blah, blah, not allowed in just in case you got some crashers. But like if you send someone a plus one, it's open, and they plan on bringing someone you hate,

is it okay to revoke it? Or do you have to suck it up? Like as a general rule. Right. That's hard because in this specific situation, I feel like she should be allowed to revoke it. I also feel like she'd be okay with him bringing almost anyone else, like any of his guy friends or like any just people that he doesn't have this weird fucked up relationship with. Yeah. Dude, if my boyfriend would have said,

"'Oh, well, Amanda's boyfriend broke up with her, so just me and Amanda are going on the trip now. No, that's insane. I would have been like, no, I think me and you are just going to go on the trip now. That's so crazy. And Amanda can cancel. Amanda's the one without the partner.

Wait, so it was supposed to be the four of them. Double date trip. This is psychotic. And he ditches his girlfriend. I actually think what the person, the OP is doing wrong is that she should be getting this girl away from her brother, as opposed to trying to like force them together.

Like force bringing her to the wedding and like keeping this relationship going when it's clear that like, if this were his soulmate, he wouldn't be treating her so shitty. No, Leo needs to run. Like she needs to get out, get that so shitty. No, Leah needs to run. She needs to get out. Get that girl out of there. Leah needs to run.

He needs to be with his friends. Be with Amanda. That's the thing. I know a couple of dudes in my life that have like, you get friendzoned by someone you like, and yet you still wait in the wings acting like the boyfriend without the benefits. And that's so unfair to them. Don't put up with like getting dragged by this girl. Like my one guy friend would like,

he would spend so much money doing things that she liked too. Like taking her to like basketball games or all of these events. And it's like, Josh, why are you doing that? Like, haven't you learned like she's not, that's not gonna change how into you she is. Stop.

Maybe actually committing yourself to your girlfriend and putting her first and being like, no, I wanna go on this with her, would make her respect you more. Yeah. Would make this other girl. I almost am like- Honestly, yeah.

Is it because she won't date him and won't have sex with him that he respects her more? And like prioritizes? Yeah. I think it might be one of those things like you want what you can't have or like he's so deeply... In love with her. In love with her. He's willing to just like do whatever for like a little bit of her like...

Her son or like, you know what I mean? That saying where it's like, oh, she glanced at me today. Like he just wants anything he can get from her in terms of like acknowledgement. That's how people in toxic actual relationships are. So I feel like it would follow. That's so strange.

Not the asshole. I don't think asshole at all. No, it's your wedding. Like, yeah, as you were saying, I'm not totally sure about the politics of giving someone a plus one and then revoking it. But I do feel like, you know, it's a personal situation. He needs to man up and be like,

sorry, my sister doesn't like you. So you can't go to her wedding. Or just, I'm gonna bring my girlfriend. Or just, I'm gonna bring my girlfriend. Yeah, or I'm gonna bring my girlfriend. If you wanna reconnect with the friend group, schedule a coffee date. You know everyone's gonna be in town. Absolutely, yeah.

Also, I feel like in terms of revoking people's plus ones, if it's someone you genuinely don't get along with, no is gonna ruin the day, because she does. Amanda makes a scene an hour into every event, you know it's going to create drama, stress, whatever. I would rather revoke that person's plus one and be called a bridezilla than have to deal with the chaos. Because it was his responsibility to not bring someone that his sister doesn't like on her

wedding day. It shouldn't have been her responsibility to go back and forth about this and make sure that it was a specific, they're doing it a certain way. And obviously for the most part in 99.999% of cases, it's fine for people to bring whoever they want as a plus one because people would respect like, oh, I'm not going to bring someone that my sister doesn't like to her wedding. Top comment on this one, not the asshole. The bottom line is you don't want Amanda at your wedding

because she causes a scene and brings negative energy. I think you are well within your right to say she is not allowed at the wedding. You can invite Leah yourself by the sounds of your brother's behavior. Who knows if they will even still be together by then. Even if they are, I wouldn't count on her sticking around if he keeps prioritizing Amanda over her." And OP responds,

"'I like Leah, like genuinely as a friend, and would like her there. I should honestly just have invited her officially too. I should have honestly have been able to foresee David would do this.'" Fucking David. Fucking David. I feel like the final straw should have been the vacation, but. Oh my God. I think that was a different girl though. Cause that vacation, he did get dumped rightfully so. Right, right, right, right.

That wasn't Leah. No, different, different girl. But I honestly think if he went forward and did bring Amanda and OP wouldn't have stopped him, Leah probably would have dumped him. Absolutely. Who would put up with that? Your family member's wedding, that's so intimate. To not be invited to something like that

when you're their official partner. Yeah. I'd be like, what is wrong? That would be the confirmation that, and I feel like this girl does this on purpose to prove that she's more important than every actual girlfriend. She seems to keep finding situations girl does this on purpose to prove that she's more important than every actual girlfriend.

She seems to keep finding situations that'll absolutely humiliate the girlfriend. Because she's the one who instigated that. She's like, I want to go, I want to catch back up with the gang. She's sort of posing herself. She's inserting herself for sure. And I think if you look back at like the trip example too, she even said to him like, I'm uncomfortable with your girlfriend.

Right. So that's why the three of them couldn't go on the trip together. But if you were so uncomfortable with the girlfriend, why did you agree to a double date trip? Yeah, she doesn't want to be with him, but she wants to keep proving that she matters more. Oh my God, that's exhausting.

So there is an edit. Edit to answer some questions. The invite was addressed to the Smiths. Funnily enough, Leah had the same last name as us. Granted, we have one of the most common last names. Yes, they live together. The tax thing is nothing huge. My parents have a small business

but are really bad at keeping track of all their receipts. So every month we go and help them. We digitalize the receipts and put them in a bookkeeping software for the accountant. Amanda is in the comments. Say hi. She found the post. I love that. I really want her and I'm so glad that she did to read all of these comments calling her out because I know the comments are calling her out, right?

Oh yeah. Oh yeah, the comments are not good for Amanda. I wonder if Amanda will have a rebuttal post. Well, there's no way Amanda's going to show up to the wedding now. No. Well, uh. That'd be crazy after reading this Reddit post. I wouldn't put it past her. That's a good point. I wouldn't put it past her. Some people a good point. I wouldn't put it past her.

Some people just love the attention. She's got no shame. Well, she causes a scene at every show. Wow. She's always singing at the dinner table. Oh, God. I could see Amanda being the type. There are a lot of comments from OP, so I will be sure to link this one.

Basically, people being like, why is your brother putting up with this? Can he not do better? But also, he's with Leah, so he's clearly good enough to get a girlfriend. Just, Amanda doesn't want him. I want to see everybody. Sometimes it's so hard that you can't look at everyone's faces when you see this, because I want to understand. Is Amanda a beautiful goddess? Is she just the perfect woman? Or I feel like probably not. I feel like it's just in its head. He's just putting her on a pedestal, rose-colored glasses. And it's funny because anyone who is worthy of being with you wouldn't use you as the emotional fluffer and use you and treat you like this.

Yeah. And sabotage all of your relationships. I know. Well, I mean, like she can't do it alone. He's also sabotaging them. He's two to tango for sure. OP just says, I've given up talking to him about this years ago. I always feel sorry for the amazing girls he brings home, though. I still talk to his ex.

She helped me with my career. He is going to end up alone. Years. This has been going on. Years. Yeah. Leah can do so much better. On paper, my brother is pretty great. Amazing job. Financial stability. He volunteers at animal shelters and cares about his appearance. And when he is not drooling for Amanda, he is generally really nice and loving, but bro. That is so interesting.

I love that the sister is like, Leah can do better. I know. And OP does mention Leah is insecure about Amanda. Yeah. Yeah. I would be. I had a situation like this. I had... I was dating someone in high school for, like, three years, and he had, like, a best friend

that he had been secretly... Or not secretly, I think he had, like, tried... Like, they... He had a crush on her, and I think he had mentioned it before, but they continued being friends. And then one day, he had, like, cheated on me with someone else, but then I saw his text with her about, like... I don't know, he had cheated on me with someone else, but then I saw his text with

her about, I don't know, he just made our relationship seem really bad and was saying negative things about our relationship and kind of hinting at stuff. And I was like, I always knew there was something there. So crazy. You can just trust your gut with that stuff. It's always the person too like, oh, you don't have to worry about her. It's always those situations where like afterward you're like, I knew that whole time, but I didn't let myself believe it, believe myself.

I know we got to like really start trusting our gut more and not rose colored glasses ourselves so hard because we got to believe it. Especially like Leah. So a lot of people are asking, does Leah know? Yeah. And OP goes, she does know now. Someone asks, how is she feeling about it? OP responds, no bueno. Yeah. The person goes, let us know when she dumps his crusty ass. Oh. OP, your brother is just like Amanda. He's not a good person. He strings along others to fill the void until Amanda is free.

Amanda does the inverse. Oh my goodness. Does your brother realize what he's done? Or is he still in denial about the Amanda issue? Someone else goes, make sure Leah is seated in a good spot away from your brother and with good friends. That is such a good point. Like they're doing the same thing to people.

Literally. Like Amanda's doing it to him. Yeah. He's doing the same thing to other people. To every girlfriend that he gets after her. I wonder if he even realizes, or if he's truly like trying to move on with all of these people he dates. Right. But then like to, it's one thing to just like have those feelings, but then the actions

that he's doing because of them are so disrespectful and so hurtful. Oh my God, that's crazy. There's one comment from OP here that's absolutely hilarious and like so on point. So OP goes, I don't get the relationship between them. It's weird. I don't know, man. She is jealous, AKA Amanda, when anyone spends time with him. I once told him to ask her to have a one-sided open relationship where she gets to do what she wants

and he waits at home for her because he already does that, LOL. Woo. Talk about a burn. Wait, that, damn. And so accurate. It's so true. And so accurate. And like, I would feel so bad for him

if he weren't bringing all these other girls along to this torment because of it. Yeah, she's treating him badly. And then in turn, he's treating other people badly. It's just sort of like vicious cycle. Just get together, you both suck. You both suck and you can't get over each other clearly. Well, and it's like, if Amanda does get jealous

when other people hang out with him and is so close and comfortable and likes him this much, why aren't you just together? Are you not attracted to him? What is it? That's why I think if he were to like actually put a girlfriend first, she would be like, wait, no, I want to be with you. I'm just confused. I'm so confused. I would love to see Amanda's rebuttal.

I want Amanda to reply. OP does go Amanda? To someone, question mark, question mark to someone's comment. So let me find the comment. She has like serious beef with Amanda. That's so funny. I mean, I guess if Amanda and her brother actually did get together, it would be hard because the family hates her. So someone comments, what do you expect question mark?

He has an asshole of a sister. Oh, yeah. Like implying OP is an asshole and OP replies back, Amanda? What did she do though? Are there likes on that comment? No, it got downvoted almost 700 times. I love when I agree with the majority so much. It feels so vindicating. OP called Leah right in front of him asking her about it. She had no idea.

Is this in reply to her? I mean, Leah was going to find out either way because like, I'm not going to your sister's wedding with you and you're taking Amanda instead. Like there's no way she wouldn't have found that out. It's just like, how did he tell her? Yeah. I don't know if this is in reference to the wedding and the invite and him bringing Amanda,

or if it was in response to this Reddit post. Oh, right. But someone's asking, how did she learn about it from you or from him trying to do damage control? Yeah. I called Leah in front of him asking her about it. She had no idea. Ouch.

I hope he looked ashamed. Nope. He got super fucking mad. This brother sucks. This is ridiculous. This is ridiculous. Everyone, we need to go rescue Leah. We're on a Leah rescue mission.

I'm just going to scroll to the very last comment. Like I'm so curious if they've broken up. Brother's very handsome. OP does clarify that. My brother is a spineless snail who doesn't care about his girlfriend's feelings. Why should I care about his? Yeah. Wow, she's really letting loose a lot of feelings that she's had.

Amanda will not step half a foot out on our venue without being escorted out by security. Let's go, baby. Good. Yes, that was my big plan. Step one, make a post. Step two, let Amanda find it. Step three, question mark, question mark, question mark. Step four, question mark, question mark. People are accusing OP of like posting this to do bad stuff. I don't know, have ulterior motives so to speak. have ulterior motives, so to speak.

What ulterior motive could she have though? I think she just was tired of having drama with her brother and wanted some neutral people's opinions. Yeah. Because those people make you feel crazy. And here we are. Yeah. Let us know what you guys think about this one. I love this one. This is juicy.

There's so many like layers and intricate relationships of drama in this. It's like soap opera. It's so good. So good. We've had some really good ones today. You really came out with some bangers. Some just like classics, really classics. I've got two more short ones to end us.

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This next one is 19 hours old, coming from AITAH. Am I the asshole for my response after my friend kept bragging about her boyfriend's dick size? Ooh. I, female, have a friend, female, who recently started dating a guy she met on some dating app. They've been together for roughly three months, I think. Ever since she got with him, she's been humble bragging about his alleged penis size. She will make these subtle remarks about them needing so much lube that she's so sore today,

wink wink, and all that shit. No one in my group, there's six of us in total, all 22 to 24 female, spoke up about it, and we always let it slide or laughed it off. However, it was cringe because she clearly wanted us to know. Hell, probably wanted us to picture her man's wiener. Why? FYI, she's never done this sort of thing before.

She's typically private when it comes to intimate info like that. So this is out of character. All caps, it's so damn annoying and unnecessary and TMI. A few days ago, we all went out to brunch. I ordered a drink that came in a glass that looked semi-fallic and someone jokingly said, eh, that'll do. The dick bragger burst into laughter and immediately

managed to make a pervy reference to her boyfriend somehow. I was extremely fed up. I finally told her that I'm very curious at this point and need to see hard physical evidence of said penis. Oh. I said that everyone at the table is curious about this mythical sausage and wants to see with their own eyes if the urban legends are true. I told her to show me a picture of her boyfriend's penis ASAP so I can verify her claims independently. I explained that I established an interim dick size accuracy committee. Oh, wow. Obviously, she got angry and said that I'm not funny.

I told her I wasn't joking and generally wanted to see it for myself with my own eyeballs that I trust. She said that she obviously wouldn't share any dick pics and that I'm fucked in the head. We ended up having a huge argument and she left early, alone. Now there's two camps, some saying that I crossed a line and went too far with my joke, others saying that they're relieved that someone finally spoke up. Am I the asshole? Okay, so I don't think any photos, intimate photos should ever be shared without a partner's consent, but I feel like she was joking. I agree. So I don't think that like the joke goes too far. And also like the only way that that would be a breach of privacy is if the girl actually shared photos like that.

Yeah. So like that's first. Now if you want to say like, hey girls, my boyfriend has a huge penis. It's awesome. That's fine. Like mention it one time. But like to continuously go on and on about it, like I don't care. I really don't care. And honestly, when my friends wanna talk at length

about like, not the, like, I'll talk to my friends about the emotional aspect of dating all the time, but if they wanna like go on about the intimate details of their sex life, like, I don't care. I'm not the one to talk to you about that. I don't wanna know, actually. Like, I- That would be me.

I'll take that combo. We can have that. Let me know. I love talking about sex. I just't want to know actually. That would be me. I'll take that combo. We can have that. Let me know. I love talking about sex. I find it fascinating. Do you think it's like, what's bothering her is that she's trying to do it as a humble brag instead of just outright being like, it's great that I'm dating someone with a huge dick? I feel like it's more so the frequency of these comments. I think if it would have been like a one-off or if it came up during a conversation about sex, that's different. Yeah, like everyone would giggle. They'd be like, good for you.

Yeah, like get it girl. Ha ha. Yeah, right. But it's like the fact that she's doing this so often and it seems like she's finding so many excuses to bring it up any chance she gets. It's so funny. Like why? Why?

Like we get it. Do you want us to be jealous of the sex that you're having? Also, sometimes super, super big isn't better. Like- You just got so many upvotes from men. You just, five stars. They're throwing out the five stars right now. It's true.

They're like, I love this podcast. Best. Forward to girlfriend. The best show ever. No, there are some people though that are big and just don't know how to use it. That's a good point because they think that they don't have to figure it out. They don't have to. They don't have to work for it.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's important. That's compelling. Yeah, this is interesting because I don't think that like- Okay, let's like stop talking about sex. No. I just don't think that either of them are like fully being an asshole. No. Like I think she's being annoying.

Yeah. If anything. I also wonder like for how close they all are, why couldn't you guys have just been like casually like, hey, unless you're going to show us. Right, right, right. Can we not bring up his dick so much? I'd like to get to know the guy a little more. Right, or like we get it.

You've told us. Come on. I don't want to just think about his dick every time I see your boyfriend. I'd like to get to know him a little more for who he is. Yeah, and you know when your friend is dating someone new and they kind of just become a parrot of only talking about one specific thing and it's like, all right. We don't care. We're at dinner. We want to talk about one specific thing. And it's like, all right, like, we don't care. We're at dinner. We want to talk about something else today.

Happy for you, but come on, we're not involved in that. Like we don't need to know so much. We're not in bed with you. We're not there. Do you want us to want to fuck your boyfriend? Are you trying to get him stolen? Like what's the motive here? Why don't you post it to Twitter, Facebook, TikTok,

make a reel about it. Go on Yik Yak, I heard that's coming back. Is Yik Yak coming back? I heard, I heard. Wow. Some traumatic stuff from Yik Yak. Yik Yak was fun. I used to lie a lot on Yik Yak for fun.

Make things up, spread seeds of dishonesty. I could see that. You love starting rumors, especially about appliances. I love to start a rumor. You love starting a, especially about appliances. I love to start a rumor. You love starting a rumor. What do people think about this? So top comment, I wish my dick was so big it tore apart entire friend groups. Oh my God.

Telling you right now, no, you don't. Falls to his knees cursing at the sky because his enormous dick hit the ground first. What is wrong with this comment section? Oh my God. Someone replies to that. Tripod. Tripod? Uh-huh.

Oh. Because you have two legs and third leg. Oh my God. I've never heard that, but now I see. Yeah. Tripod. Good for him. Third leg, yeah. Tripod.

Tripod. I don't know. I feel like there's just no assholes here. Yeah, I would say that too. I think like- They need to have a conversation though. Like, hey, can you stop? It's just kind of uncomfortable for the group.

Yeah, I think OP was just trying to like make it funny and honestly embarrass her less by sort of joking about the dick situation because like maybe would embarrass her more to be like, girl, you really talked about this too much, even though being straightforward is great. Yeah. But yeah, this isn't like something that they can't return from. No. Nobody did anything terrible here.

Let's just chat about something else today. Let's pass the Bechdel test. Seriously. Oh, I hope they figure it out. I'm trying to look at the account and see if there's any updates on this one. That's so funny. No updates, account has been suspended.

Oh, why? I don't know. They violated some rules. Have you ever had a friend talk about their partner's genitals too much? Not too much. We've definitely, as a group, had conversations. And I've gotten flack from that, I think from guys commenting on the podcast in the past. They're like, that's so disrespectful to talk about your partner and blah, blah, blah, blah with your friends. And I'm like, but don't guys do that all the time? I don't know. I think it's fine as long

as you're not being disparaging or sharing pictures, like you said. Nicole Zalina I also feel like that's up to individual couples to have a conversation of being like, I'm not comfortable with you talking about our sex life with other people. Or like, if you do something experimental in the bedroom and you're like, I don't want other people to know that we do that. Like, I think that it's hard when you're listening

to a podcast, because you don't know the people and you don't know what their partners are okay with. And even if you're not comfortable with that, which is fine, like you can say that to your partner, that doesn't mean that necessarily like other people's partners aren't okay with them talking about their sex life to their friends. Yeah.

Damn, that's like such a good conversation to have when you initially start dating someone. Yeah. There almost needs to be a checklist for like boundaries. Like literally it's just like a list of boundaries. Like talking about friends, talking about sex life with friends, boundary or not. Did mine's stomach just grow?

I have mine's all day. All day. Oh my god, it's so... Sorry. All day. But yeah, the boundaries like are up to individuals and you can figure it out amongst yourselves. I like that. Hopefully that guy's comfortable with her

telling everyone his dick is huge. Probably. He probably feels good about himself. Yeah, he'd probably be flattered. He probably feels good about himself. He's probably flattered. He's like, babe, stop. Stop telling people my dick is so fucking big.

It's so huge. Stop saying that. People don't need to know I have a ginormous huge dick. I'm dick game strong. I literally, you guys, Justin and I just drove back from Colorado picking up my pony. And when we were on the car ride, we were like looking for things to do

and podcasts to listen to. And we run out of like true crime ones pretty quickly, like the new ones we haven't listened to. And so I was like, I wanna listen, let's listen to the first episode of Two Hot Takes and like see how it changed. So we listened to the very first episode. The way in which I cringe, I was like, Morgan.

Oh my God. Granted, you can tell I was so nervous and like didn't really know what was going on yet. But I used, I was like, no one's gonna want your dick game. I was like, why? Why did I say that? And so this story just saying that just now I'm like, I'm reminded I'm like, oh man, we evolve. Even things I said like one year ago, I'll be humiliated by and it's like, I am an adult

now. It's not like last year I was 17 or last year I was like 21. I'm fully into being a, I guess, I'm just a teenage 27 year old girl. Oh, I still, I love that saying where it's like, I panicked because I was having a teen pregnancy. Nope, I'm 30. I'm like, that's me. I'm just like, I don't know where time went. I still, if you asked me how old I feel, I feel 26. I don't feel 30.

Yeah, that's probably where it pauses. I think COVID stole some years too. Yeah. Like I don't feel 30 at all. I feel like 26, 28-ish. I don't know why. Yeah. But it's so funny that you can be like 27, 30 years old

and like a year ago was embarrassing to you. Maybe it's just because like jokes change so quickly and like now that that's been overdone, it's cringe. And like, you're not a cringe person, but you were just so wrapped up in the internet culture at the time. And it changes so fast. So fast.

It changes too fast. You can't keep up with it. No, you can't always be cool. No, I'm not cool. Like I will be the first to admit, like, I'm just kind of a normal, like, just, I'm chill. Like, I'm not like this cool person. Think you're very cool.

God, I love you. I think you've got a cool aura about you. I think when you walk into a room. But I think the same of you. Like, you give just like, cool, put together. You're so fashionable. Like, just... Really? Thank you. This is cozy day. It. You're so fashionable. Really? Thank you.

This is cozy day. It is cozy day. It is cozy day. We don't dress up for this often. Okay. I'm giving you a choice on the last one. Okay. You have first option.

Am I the asshole for not wanting my husband to be in the room when I give birth? Whoa. Two, am I the asshole for holding my ex-husband's hand at our son's funeral? Oh. Three, boyfriend's dad keeps hitting on me? Or four, I gave my very stoic roommate flowers for his birthday and his reaction almost broke me. Maybe boyfriend's dad keeps hitting on me. Okay.

Because that feels the most triggering. Okay. Let's go. To me. Yeah, keep it on. Sorry if I've disappointed people with my choice. No need to be disappointed. The other three stories will be on Patreon this month.

Head over there. Ooh. You see it? You see it? Love Patreon. That's so good. Look at you. I can't let them go to waste. I can't let them go to waste.

No. They are just, they're so good. And one of them will be a free story. So go over there, join for free, be involved with the community. Who hates free? No one. Everyone loves free. Yeah.

And if you don't love free, please seek medical attention. Yeah. So this is two days old coming from our very own Tuat Takes subreddit. Boyfriend's dad keeps hitting on me. So I, 26 female, feel disturbed by this because I want to tell my boyfriend, but I don't know if I should. I was home with his dad, 68 male, all day while my boyfriend was at work because his dad asked if I would help him with running some errands.

Side note, his wife passed away like a month ago, my boyfriend was at work because his dad asked if I would help him with running some errands. Side note, his wife passed away like a month ago, so he's been trying to organize slash figure out the house stuff. And me being nice and trying to show I can be a good future wife for his son said yes. But then, his dad starts saying I remind him a lot of his wife's character, which is cool because I guess that's a good thing. But then he also says, I remind him of her physically and proceeds to ask me if I would shower with him and we can keep it between us.

Oh, this isn't subtle at all. I was like thinking, wow, okay. I just laughed it off and said no because I honestly felt so uncomfortable at that moment. I didn't know what to say. I thought he was joking, but he was so serious. I kind of want to tell my boyfriend, but I don't want to start problems. What should I do? This is hard.

I feel like this is honestly one of the most complex ones we've had of the day. I know because obviously it's not a question of who's the asshole here, but what should you do in a situation like that? My immediate gut reaction would be like, obviously you need to tell your boyfriend, but there's the context that his mom just died a month ago. So you don't want to like, his mom just died and then you also ruined the relationship with his dad. So like you're in a really tough position.

But he needs to know because that's super inappropriate. Of course. Like that's so fucking creepy and bad. Yeah. Of course, like that's so fucking creepy and bad. Yeah I don't think it, I don't think you could not tell him, but the idea of like talking to him about it, like now you're in such a bad position, like this is really one of those situations where you don't want to be the messenger, like being the messenger sucks of information like this, especially in the context. Like he's probably relying on his dad so much more.

And then it puts so much shit between you because it's like either he hates his dad now or like he's okay with you being disrespected. And like neither of those are good situations. Yeah. I can't believe this dude would say something like this out loud. When the first comment got said, like, oh, I remind him a lot of his wife's character.

Yeah, lovely. That's beautiful. That's lovely. That's amazing. That's what you would hope for. Oh, but you also remind me- The body. Of her physically and-

Oh my God. When you shower with me. Your wife just died a month ago and you're- That's disrespectful to the wife too. You're propositioning your boy, your son's girlfriend to fucking shower with you and then lie about it. She's looking down on you like, ew, she's... I feel like he's probably been like this for a while before she passed.

Like, I feel like you don't... No, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't just change overnight because... Doesn't... At least I don't hope, I don't think so. Oh, that's so disturbing and like puts her in such an uncomfortable position. Puts her boyfriend in such an uncomfortable position. Also like, did he think she would say yes?

Like what the fuck? Has he tried it with girlfriends of the past? But who would say yes to that? I mean, maybe there is someone out there, but like, I just don't, I just don't. Not, won't be me. Won't be me. Not anyone I know.

No. God, no. This is scary too, cause you just like- It is scary, cause now she doesn't wanna be alone with him. I wouldn't, I don't think it's honestly at that point, I don't think it's safe. And so many people, like, people's families are so important when you're dating somebody. And this really puts a wrench in like ending up with this guy because this is his only

living family or only living parent. Top comment. You genuinely need to shut that down and tell your boyfriend, this is not okay. Next comment, three things. One, tell the boyfriend. Boyfriend needs to be the one to confront his dad with the clearest and most forceful reprimand possible. And that's true.

It is up to him, I would say. And I think it would mean more coming from the son. Absolutely. Because then it also shows like, dad, my girlfriend told me, like our relationship is really strong. Yeah. What the fuck? You're being a creep. He thought this was like a creepy, like I can't imagine risking your relationship with

your child over being creepy to his girlfriend. Like and I wonder if his, if her boyfriend has any idea that her dad's kind of like that. I wonder. I wonder if he's tried this in the past with one of his son's other girlfriends. Or if he just makes creepy comments in general or like... One of those old guys that just doesn't read the room. And maybe his boyfriend didn't think it... Or her boyfriend didn't think it was... Sorry, I keep messing up the relationship pronouns. Her boyfriend didn't think it, or her boyfriend didn't think it was, sorry, I keep messing up the relationship pronouns. Her boyfriend didn't think it was as bad as it was.

Probably. But like now he realized that all of those like little comments are... They're actually genuinely concerning. Yeah. Yeah. Point number two, never be in the same room with him again. And three, if by chance he ever says something

like that again, your reaction needs to be loud, angry, and unquestionably negative. Simultaneously, you need to get safe people in the room with you immediately or leave immediately. Yeah. And I wouldn't blame her for any reaction she had because that's such an uncomfortable position to be in. People have all sorts of reactions to being sexually harassed. And then to also add the element of this is my partner's father, like my partner's grieving father. I know. It's hard to be as adamantly negative as you want to be.

And I'm sure like looking back on it, she's like, I wish I had been, you know, really strong in my response. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. My stomach is really talking. Oh no, I was just peeking at the ponies, making sure they're good. I know, but wow. You can't hear it? No. I hope you guys can't hear it. I think you're okay. Okay. There is one other point I do want to bring up. Someone comments, suggest to boyfriend that dad get a mental health evaluation with his doctor. Sadly, at dad's age, which again was 68, the initial symptoms of cognitive decline can be observed, which may include loss of inner filter that stops us from saying inappropriate

and often sexual things. Not a doctor and not trying to diagnose the boyfriend's dad, just aware of the changes that can occur in older adults, especially after a significant loss. Someone else goes, the loss of his wife and the associated stress and grief could accelerate any decline. Interesting. So that is something to consider.

That is interesting, because when you first read, I was like, is he drunk? Like, what is going on? But that's hard because it's like, it feels like maybe that'd be better because he's not a shitty person, but having... It would be better for me. Right. But then also cognitive decline is such an awful experience. So terrible. I hope they get it figured out.

I know. We have a little bit of an update. Oh, there's an update? Update. I told my boyfriend and his reaction was, quote, this does not sound like something my dad would say. Then proceeds to ask, is this why I don't want to stay at his house anymore? He said he needs time to think about this and see both sides. See both sides. Because he's optimistic. Said he needs to know the facts. And I was like, but what facts?

I've told you everything literally how it happened. I haven't said or done anything to make his dad feel like it's okay for him to come at me in such a manner. I told him I feel disgusted and all he had to say was he doesn't want to jump to conclusions. He didn't even bother to ask if I was okay. Just trash. There's no context. There's like no additional context to those comments that makes them not creepy and inappropriate and fucked up. Well, what do you think?

Your girlfriend just like magically made up this whole thing? This is what I was worried about, but like it's better that she knows that her boyfriend would react to a situation like that. Like that's a serious situation to be in with your partner and seeing how they act while they're in it tells you a lot about how they would be as a parent, as your lifelong significant other. So I'm glad she knows. While there is one final response in a comment, brought it up to my boyfriend and I gave him

space to think because he claimed that's what he needed. Nothing's changed though. He still thinks that's not something his dad would say and he can't wrap his mind around it. Now he's pretty much putting it all on me, making it seem like I made it up or I'm over exaggerating and there's nothing to exaggerate about a dad making a nasty comment like that to his son's girlfriend. That's so disappointing.

And for the people saying there's always two sides to a story, I did nothing and I didn't say anything to make him feel like it was okay to come at me in such a disrespectful manner. Not on you. There's no context that would make it okay. Not on you. Oh my God, that's so crazy. He knows I really care about his son, but it's whatever.

I ended the relationship. I'd rather not feel like I can be disrespected at any time and he won't have my back or do his best to protect me. Thank you guys for all the advice. Yeah, I mean, I'm glad she broke up with him. This is the perfect order of events. Yeah. Not like, not perfect.

It never should have happened. Right. But it happened. You told your boyfriend. Your boyfriend didn't have a great appropriate response. You broke up with him. You breaking up with him sucks. It's sad.

But that is a happy ending. You found out you were with someone who isn't going to protect you, doesn't believe you. Bye. He sucks. He's a piece of shit. And like, I get it that this is a hard time for their family and like, this is what I was worried about. Yeah. And that was that context that we...

Yeah. I was worried that he would be like, oh, well, I just lost my mom. My dad means a lot to me. But like, this is your partner. Like, you're either going to spend your life with this person as your other half or you're not. And at that point, she needs to be the priority. And you need to like to never even say, are you okay? I'm so sorry you were sexually harassed. Never even say, are you okay? Yeah. Like, okay, if my dad did say that, are you okay?

Like that would have been really uncomfortable. Like, I'm really sorry. Not even like that's not his character, but he's going through a really hard time and like I'm really disappointed, but I need to hear him out to like see's not his character, but he's going through a really hard time and like I'm really disappointed But I need to hear him out to like see if there's any like I don't know There are even ways that he could have heard his dad out that wouldn't have been so disrespectful Yeah, he was implying it was like her problem. Well, and she made it up. Yes, she instigated it. Yeah

No, she didn't instigate anything Like yeah, I really wanted to be sexually harassed by your dad. Huh? Weird. So weird. Why would I instigate that? And if I did instigate it, why would I tell you?

Right. Why would I bring it up? Right. Like I'm just going around trying to trick your dad into coming on to me so that I can ruin your relationship with him. What? You're doing a lot of jumps here when it would be much easier to just believe her. Yeah. I'm confused.

Glad they broke up. Glad they broke up. It's a blessing in disguise for her. That was triggering for sure. Yeah. Good pick. Good pick. And we even got a little bonus update. I didn't know we had. I know that was exciting. Wow. Good updates this episode, I feel. Good updates, especially the Josh story. I think that would be my favorite from this one. Yeah.

Wow. The couple that got back together. I know. I did message. I hope they respond to you. I'm sitting here just refreshing the chat like, hi, update. Hi, update. Ah, but thank you for joining me on this episode.

Thank you so much for having me. Where can people find you? Such a pleasure. You can find me like wherever. I mean, Instagram, Michaela Oakland, Twitter, Michaela Oakla, and I also do podcasts late at night drive. Yeah.

So. If you want tea or you know, you want Michaela to start some rumors, go follow. This girl's chatting really. She's always doing fun stuff. But that's all I got. Head over to Patreon for those other stories. One will be free.

Don't miss out on free, you guys. Come on. Those sounded good, by the way. They all were really sounding good. They are good. The flowers one is really cute too. It's really cute. But other than that, until next time guys, bye. Thanks for watching!