Two Hot Takes - 18: Age Gaps.. They're Not So Black And White

Episode Date: May 27, 2021

TW: potential grooming!  Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host, Lauren! We're tackling age gaps and stories related to them. This is always a super debatable topic on social media platforms so we figured we'd give our takes on some stories! Stories include a woman who says her 19-year age gap with her husband is ruining her life, a father who is seeking help about a sketchy relationship his daughter is in, a woman whose not agreeing with her older boyfriend about finances, a woman whose family member accused her wife of being a predator because of their age gap, a man who proposed to his older boyfriend and can't get his family on board. And lauren ends with a Reddit story about a man that hooks up with a mom on a vacation and it has some similarities to an affair she knew about in high school! A listener story is included about a woman who questions whether she should feel bad about the child support she receives from an ex.. who she had quite the age gap with.   An additional story that we felt was a better fit for Patreon will also be dropping on that platform! And as always your support is so so appreciated: https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes  Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes

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your podcast right from your phone or computer, and Anchor will even distribute the podcast for you, so it can be heard on Spotify, Apple Podcast, and many more. It's everything you need to make a podcast all in one place. Download the free Anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started. So today we're getting into age gaps, something you've been really excited about talking about. I was more so excited because Morgan is always very uh, what do you, how would you, how would you describe your feeling about age gaps? I'm very outspoken about age gaps. Yeah. It kind of, it's like a hot button for her. It can fire her up, that's for sure. Uh, we'll get into it, but um, I found, yeah, when I came here today, she said that she found

something that made her really sad, that makes her feel a little bit different about age gaps, and now, now I'm so curious, but because we do these blind reactions, which maybe we need to stop because I think my reactions and me being flabbergasted, is that the right word? Flabbergasted? Yes, that is the correct word. Um, might be a little bit too much. You know, if you can't handle us at our two hot takes, you don't deserve us at our intellectual brunches. Oh, I love that one. Yeah. Age gaps. Let's dive in. Let's go. Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of two hot takes. I'm your host, Morgan, and I'm Lauren. Okay. So age gaps, they are a hot button for me, but it's not necessarily that I think all

age gaps are bad. So if you're out there listening and you're like, Oh shit, me and my partner are 10 years apart, 12 years apart. I don't just instantly despise the relationship. I think age gaps really freak me out when there's a power imbalance and like one person is in college still very unestablished, doesn't really have their own income yet. And then the other person is like 32 and very successful and has like this like superiority over that person where the, you know, there's an obvious power imbalance. I think that's what really gets me. Yeah, that makes sense. I mean, my parents are 10 years apart and I mean, it didn't work out their divorce, but however, they did date and marry for over 15 years. And I think the big thing is that they met when they

both were working adults. So it changes the game when you're kind of on the same platform. The same level. Is that what you would say? Yeah, yeah, yeah, like the same level. Sounded like a fucking usher song. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, chill the fuck out, Morgan. Let's pause here. Yeah, I think, and while all hundred's parents are 13 years apart too, which also didn't work out. I'm just kidding. But um, but no, they, they again had a very happy marriage for a long time. So it's like, there's nothing wrong with age gaps. It's just some of them suck. Yeah. Okay, well, let's start off with the story that changed my mind a little bit on age gaps. Okay, okay. Quit reading it. I can see you staring at the screen. No, I really

wasn't. I was dazing out at the screen. Okay, but I did want a head start. I saw you. I saw you trying to creep a peek. Okay, my 22 female 19 year age gap with my husband, 41 male is ruining my life. Them. I knew before our marriage that our age gap would raise some eyebrows, but I felt like I didn't have to explain myself or my choices to anyone. And that people who truly cared for me would accept that I'm discovering that the issue is far more complex than that. I posted this in Reddit relationships yesterday and I got a pretty strong mixed edit. Truthfully, it was mostly negative. General consensus was that my husband is a predator and I'm too young to make my own decisions reaction, but the moderator's locked my post because they

said my submission was more appropriate for this subreddit. So I hope here people won't be as close minded. So I am just, you know, I'm pulling this story from r slash age gap. So it's a specific thread just for age gaps. Okay. Anyway, this is my situation. My 22 female husband is 19 years older than me. We got married seven months ago. We've known each other since I was 19. We were friends for about a year and then dated for about a year and a half before getting married. Okay. So didn't really start dating until she was 20, which it's better than 18. The biggest issue is with his mother, my mother-in-law. She has told him that our age gap is inappropriate from the start. She's always been cold, but not mean to me. But recently, our marriage

passed the six month mark. And I think she realized that we weren't going to break up anytime soon. And she started attacking it in any way she could. She told all five of his siblings to try to talk him out of being with me. She called me immature and money hungry. I inherited a lot of money when my parents died. So it's impossible for me to be money hungry by being with him. She recently told him, I'm not welcome at family events. I got disinvited from my niece's birthday party this week. My husband's brother has tried multiple times to convince him that I have quote, daddy issues. He has tried to coerce my husband into giving him details about my dead father. My husband refuses to tell him anything in order to support his argument.

One of his sisters said she's disgusted by our relationship and she won't let her unborn child know our ages because she doesn't want them to grow up thinking this is normal. Almost as upsetting as the treatment by our friends and coworkers, I've lost multiple friendships. When we were to go out to eat, I'm nervous to kiss or hold his hand in public because of people staring. My husband's coworkers had to be formally warned by HR because they won't stop calling him sugar daddy and gossiping about our relationship. Everything boils down to the simple fact that our relationship, not our behavior, personalities, actions or background. Neither of us have any children, spouses or drama. People just don't like that we're together

because of our ages. When we got married, I was expecting some prejudice, but nothing like this. It's starting to affect me more. I'm not reconsidering our marriage because I love him and he's the most wonderful person, but I'm having trouble eating, sleeping. I feel blindsided and isolated. At the risk of being judged just as harshly here, why is everyone so uncomfortable with my marriage? Is it fair? Is it unreasonable of me to expect to be treated better? I mean, that sucks. That one made me sad because I think, unfortunately, in 19 years, it's a pretty big age gap. Even though they met totally legal, she's 20, he was 39, but it's a big gap. Especially seeing them in public, if he's got gray hair,

that's her dad. Potentially could even be her grandpa, depends on how he aged. Oh, that's really tough. This one made me feel bad. Yeah, I feel bad too. You know what's interesting? She made a comment about somebody saying that she has daddy issues and that's why she's with him or whatever it was. Yeah, that's a good common thing to hear. I saw this post recently that was saying how it's interesting how people blame the girl for the man's mistakes. Yeah, I don't know why that blew my mind. I never thought about it that way. I know. The dad fucked up and yet the child is the one being called daddy issues. And she's the one that gets stigmatized. Yeah, because it's not,

I mean, you do hear it, but it's not as common to hear like, oh, he has mommy issues. That's not like a common thing, but daddy issues is, I mean, it's printed on fucking t-shirts. It's so common to hear. If anything, I hear more often like mama's boy than mommy issues. Yeah, which is sometimes a red flag. But anyway, I think that it would just be hard to see such a young girl with your son who you view. I don't know. I think that it would be hard to conceptualize, but I also think that it's like they're married and they're happy. So why are you doing this? Yeah, I guess too. He is only 41. Yes, there's a 19 year age gap, but he's only 41. A lot of

people these days don't have kids until their early 40s. And so it's like, he still has an opportunity to have children, have a normal life, and blah, blah, blah. So it's like, I don't know. I think the mother-in-law is being really harsh, being like, you can't come to fucking family events. You're closing off your son by that too. Does she not invite the son either? If I was him, I wouldn't even go. That's exactly the thing. He's probably still invited because the mom sounds like a fucking bitch, but he's probably not going to leave his wife at home. And if he did, she should be running for the hills because that's terrible to be treated like that. This relationship kind of

reminds me too of what's his name he produced. Is it a movie? No, it's a show that's really popular with all those really smart nerds. Oh, are you thinking of the one? Chuck Laurie? Yes, yeah. And his wife? Yeah, it reminds me of Chuck Laurie and his wife. And I've heard nothing but good things about them, and they have a huge age gap, and they're completely in love, get along so well. And I think that their age gap might even be bigger than this one, but yeah, I'm not sure what it is. I think that she was older though, and he was older. So I get how 22, that's young. To be married, I mean, to just be married in general at 22 is really, I think, young. We've talked about this before, but I don't really recognize who I was

at 22. I was a totally different and complete version of myself. However, everyone grows up differently. I look at Kylie Jenner, and at what was she, 20 years old, she was a billionaire, so you have to grow up faster when you have a whole billion dollar business. Yeah, and I get someone, it sounds like this girl's been through a lot of trauma, and there's this thing that I just read recently where it's like, oh, were you called an old soul growing up? And it's like, yes, okay, I was, and I felt so targeted this day on my 4U page as fucked. But they're like, okay, well, are you actually an old soul, or did you just have a traumatic upbringing to where you had to grow up quick? And I was like, damn, okay, this really is the 4U page. Because like, I mean,

my mom was working full time. And I, you know, felt very responsible for my younger brother to where like, I felt like I was raising him at one point. So it is tough, like she went through a lot of trauma, like both parents are dead at 22. That's really, I can't imagine that's really hard traumatic. So that is fucked up. And then the mom saying that she has daddy issues or whoever says the brother. Yeah, if there's no bad motives, she's not out for his money. I know. And that's what I was going to say too. It's like, it's, if she has money of her own, you can't even pin it on that because there's not that power and balance of money. Yeah. Yeah, it sounds like she's done with school. I don't even know if she mentioned it. I mean, 22, you'd think she's, she's kind of getting

close to being done with school or like starting a career or doing something. I was done at 21. Yeah, I was too. So she seems like she's very aware of herself and very, you know, with it. So I don't know, this one's tough. I typically would have been like 19 years like, but this one really made me rethink age gaps. So what were the comments though? Were people supportive or comments are super supportive? I think, I think relationship advice, that thread. And similar with am I the asshole, people are like quick to jump and just like that knee-jerk reaction. So I think relationship advice, they're like, ew, like age gaps there are like instant ew. Right. But this is a forum dedicated to just like people with age gaps. Yeah. So the

top comment, my husband, 51 male and me, 33 female, got married at the same age you two are and are coming up on our 10 year wedding anniversary. In the beginning, we dealt with the weird stares and occasional comment. Over time, we got rid of the toxic people that weren't supportive. I like the person's replies in the comments above. I know it's easier said than done, but don't let others affect your relationship. You know why you two are together and that you two are happy. And that is all that matters. Love conquers all. It does. Or my Romantic self would like to believe. Okay, but let's get into these fucked up age gap stories. Wholesome to start, but it's, I feel like it's about to get dark

fast. You're up first. Oh shit. Okay. You got the first segment. Lauren found this story a while ago and I actually have the updates. So Lauren will read the first segment and then I have the update. How can I make my daughter feel safe and protected while also making it clear I do not approve of her relationship and engagement with a man who was 15 years her senior and who was considered a part of our family. Scared already? Yeah. Hello, I'm looking for a younger person's perspective on this matter. I know my son frequents this site, so we thought it might be a place to get it. My daughter is a 21 year old female. Her fiance is 36. She just graduated college and moved out on her own this past fall. My wife and I are 58 and 55 years old respectively. We also have two sons.

When my children were young, we had a close family friend who died tragically in 2001, leaving behind a 16 year old. We took him into our home for over four years while he finished school and was able to stand on his own. We gave him a substantial monetary donation to start his own business, which since has become wildly successful. I never minded any of this one bit because I always saw him as one of my own children. He is now 36 years old. This past Sunday, we had a family dinner at which time my daughter decided to inform us that not only were they engaged, but they had been seeing each other for over three years. My wife's son, wait, sorry, she's 21. Yeah. So three years is 18. Yeah. Right on the money. Okay. Yeah. My wife's

sons and I all feel incredibly betrayed, rightfully so. Yeah. Fuck. And blindsided by this revelation. The amount of lies and secret keeping that had to be told in order to keep this relationship from us is astonishing. The large age difference is also very disturbing to us as well. I told both of them in no uncertain terms that I did not approve of this relationship, that he was no longer allowed in my home and as long as my daughter continued this relationship, nor was she laying down the hammer. Wow. Now I see that alienating my daughter would cause more harm. I want to be there for her, but I don't want her to think I'm accepting of this relationship and I want it to end immediately. I am disgusted and angered by my daughter's relationship that

I just recently found out about. However, I do not want to alienate my daughter and put her in more danger. That's smart. Yeah. Especially because he's like clearly a groomer. Yeah. Seems like a good dad. How can I talk to her and make her realize this relationship is dangerous, predatory and disturbing while also making her feel safe and welcome. This part is a zinger. Also, in case it wasn't clear enough, yes, he helped raise her. The baby sat her, changed her diapers, came to family dinners every week, went on family vacations, et cetera. No, he was a constant part of her life since she was one. Barf. Absolute fucking barf. I don't think, I think that's where you draw the line. If you, if you are the age gap where you can change their diapers, okay,

maybe we should consider it a little more heavily. However, if you were the one actually changing that person's fucking diapers and then the minute they turn 18, you start fucking them. I hate that. That's a problem. Yeah. Like, are you having flashbacks to changing her diapers and watching her twiddle around? Like, oh, don't do that. What the fuck is wrong with you? And you know, it didn't like, the relationship might have officially started when they were 18, but you know he was just fucking grooming her. Yeah. Like, perfect opportunity for fucking little sicko. Well, I honestly didn't really understand the term grooming until very recently. Yeah. Actually, until I kind of feel bad bringing this up, but until the Crystalia stuff came out. Yeah. And

Hey. Yeah. Are you going to share? Okay. I may have kissed him one time. We went to a, we went to a comedy show once and Crystalia was performing because my friend Tanner was absolutely obsessed with him. And so Crystalia was performing me and Lauren run to the bathroom. And as we're coming out, we see him and he admittedly like immediately looks at Lauren, he's like, hi. And Lauren like, she doesn't look underage. So when this came out, we were like, wait, what the fuck? Well, just to be clear, I was not underage. No, you were like 25, 26. Well, yeah, I mean, I was, yeah, 24 at least. I'm not sure exactly how old it was, but I know that I wasn't underage and not anywhere near it. Yeah. I didn't think anything of it. I just thought it

was funny, especially since one of our friends thought he was so cool. Tanner is in love with him. Yeah. In love. But it's funny. It's funny because at first I'm like, this is cool. I randomly kissed Crystalia. It's so funny. And then when all this came out, I was like, everyone started texting me. Did you see that? I was like, Chris, who? I don't know you're talking about. I don't remember that actually. Didn't happen. No, but that's when I actually looked into grooming and what it was. And it was funny though, to see the text messages that he sent to these underage girls, because it was exactly how he would text me. It was like the same exact. So strange. It was the same exact way. So it was so weird.

You still have the screenshots? Yeah, of course. Let's post them on the video. Okay. If you want to, if you want to see the screenshots, go to the YouTube video because I'll put them in there. I feel kind of bad, but I mean, he, um, no, there's so many people thought I've released his shit on the internet. So not, but I feel like it finally kind of just like went now. It's not viral. No, no, it finally kind of just calmed down. Oh yeah. Now he's probably like, oh, everyone's forgotten about it now. And then here I am like, here's my story. Those fucking bitches at two hot takes. Yeah. Well, you were, you were overage though. You speak to, so he didn't do anything wrong. But this guy fucked up. Yeah, this is gross. This is gross. And this is,

in my opinion, more concerning than whatever Crystylia was doing that I've saw on the internet. Yeah. I just think like, this is such a betrayal to take someone in your home and raise them. And, you know, he went, he obviously went through a lot. So maybe there's like some trauma where I don't know, but to then, you know, take advantage of a situation and start grooming, you know, your father figure's daughter. Because at the end of the day, that's like his second dad. Yeah, exactly. And that's what I was thinking is that you want to not assume the worst, but it's kind of the evidence is there. But I think, well, what I'm wondering with this guy is if he didn't even really realize he was grooming, but he just kind of had this trauma

in his life and wanted to be so a part of this family and so attached with this family that he wanted to secure his position within the family. Yeah, I also, I think that would have been one thing though, if they would have not kept it a secret for three years. But the reason they kept it a secret for three years is because they knew what reaction they were going to get. You don't lie and sneak around and hide for three years. Yeah. And you know, they're at all the family events together. You know, they celebrate Christmas together, Thanksgiving, all those holidays, so he's been around and they've just what, awkwardly been. How do you do that? Ignoring each other? Does he sneak into her room? Well, she was,

I don't know, like maybe she lived in the dorms and would just go stay at his place. But like, what about Christmas when he, when she comes back for college? Oh, I'm sure they stole little, little kisses in the corner out in the garden. This could make a good show. Sick show. True. Okay, you ready for the update? Yeah. Update. My wife and I had a discussion with our 21 year old daughter over her engagement to a 36 year old man whom we saw as a surrogate son. I have many concerns over their relationship. I've received many messages asking for an update. The truth is my wife and I have decided to just accept the relationship. We have made it clear that we think it is inappropriate and we are furious and devastated at when the relationship

began. However, my daughter has admitted that the reason they opened up about their relationship and engagement is because my daughter is currently 16 weeks pregnant with their first child. No. I knew it. I knew it. It just makes you want to cry. For the health of my daughter and grandchild, we believe the best thing to do is be supportive and make it clear to her that our door is always open to her. Unfortunately, my daughter has made it clear that she does not want any animosity or hostile feelings regarding her fiance. We are no longer going to pursue charges against him because we do not believe that is best for the situation right now. Understandably, my two sons are not happy with what's going on. There was a physical altercation between Jackson and my oldest son.

However, that has since been settled and all parties have agreed to behave amicably for the sake of my daughter and her child. Thank you, everyone, for your words of advice and encouragement. Oof. Oof, oof, oof. Fuck. I- It's nothing you can do once the baby is coming. I know, but doesn't it just like kind of scare you? Like, I don't know if I would trust someone like that with a baby. He was changing her diapers and look where that like got them. I just- You just seem so pedophile, Lee, and just creepy. I just always like to think that- I like to think that people have the best intentions

and that a lot of the issues and weird things that they do are because of deep down insecurities. And that's not always the case, but I like to believe that and try to see that and hope that. Solid hope. Yeah, so, I mean, I'm- Fuck. I'm hoping that, again, it was just his way of being attached to the family and- And I'm gonna stay connected. Yeah, and I just- I hope that the daughter- I hope that doesn't fuck with her at all. Like, I hope that she's healthy and stable enough that it doesn't mess with her mind down the road. Yeah, you don't know, but I mean, she probably didn't even realize, like, typically with

people that are being groomed, they don't really realize it. Yeah. It starts off as a friendship and they're, you know, they're slowly warmed up to this idea of affection and- But does it have- That's what I was kind of wondering. That's why I said I didn't really know much about grooming and why I looked into it because I was curious, does it have these long-term psychological effects the way that, you know, it can, especially once the person realizes? I just don't like watching individuals take advantage of people that, like, watching people get taken advantage of, I think.

Yeah, and like, obviously, he was a child and she was really young when this started 18. You're just legal at 18. You, from in one day, in one day, you went from not legal, underage, a teenager to, oh, you're 18, but you're legal now. Only thing that separates that is one day. There's not a lot of growth that happens. How does maturity happen overnight? Yeah. It doesn't. It's funny. It's actually, one of my friends, Bryce, actually, when I freaked out about turning 25, he was like, well, you're just one day older than yesterday. Yeah. I know I cry every birthday, so I do need to keep that in mind.

But yeah, it's just, yeah, it is crazy though. It's, I don't know, but there's a baby coming now and she's keeping it. And so that's the only thing that her parents can do. And honestly, her parents sound like amazing people. Truly. Yeah. In so many ways. I completely agree. And you don't want to separate her because if he ever does, you know, develop further, I don't know, abusive tendencies or, yeah, or like starts, you know, a relationship with someone else, like the last thing you want is for your daughter to then be closed off and feel like she doesn't have any options to leave. Definitely. So top comment on this one. Tough call, but the right one. When this fella starts trying to isolate and control her, literally,

yeah, potentially could happen. She'll know she still has her family to fall back on. I hope it never comes to that, but I have my concerns. And OP goes, thank you. We have our concerns as well. See, he's so cute. I love him. I know. OP was actually replying a lot throughout these comments. And unfortunately, the post is now deleted. But maybe I'll find a way to like post these screenshots on our Instagram or something just so people can kind of look through them. But he replies again and goes, thank you very much. It is difficult because we want our granddaughter to grow up in a happy, whole home. However, we want our daughter to leave him. It is a very confusing situation. And I do disagree with OP. Like, I think he has the best intentions and

happy, whole home. But I think you can have a happy, healthy, single parent home as well. So to me, I'm like, no, if his daughter is truly with a groomer, she should leave. You don't need to have two parents together for a child to grow up happy and feeling loved. So get the fuck out of there. Okay. Well, that's the first dark one. Hopefully you're hanging in there. I'm here. Oh, this one's good. Okay. I found this one like walking into work the other day. And I was like, so fucking excited that I didn't even want to like go clock in because I was like, I just want to fucking read this. So up next, my 22 female boyfriend, 32 male wants me to move in with him and pay half

of all of our expenses. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over two years. We are both currently in the same city, but living separately. I am graduating from college in a few weeks and I'm planning to start applying for graduate schools. Currently, I do not have any employment, nor do I plan on making any money in the next few years. Yeah, you won't if you're going to grad school. Luckily, my family is able to support me through graduate school and pay my expenses. My boyfriend currently makes around 300k a year and just received a job offer in a city across the country that would pay him over 500,000 500k dollars a year after bonuses. He wants me to move with him to this new city. I'm fine with the idea of moving, even though it is not my

first choice of places to live. I could probably attend graduate school there. The only issue is he wants me to pay half the rent and half of all our expenses. This would amount to around $2,500 a month. My family is capable of providing me with this money, but we are not exorbitantly wealthy. So it is a lot of money for us. My family also thinks it is unreasonable for my boyfriend to ask me to pay these expenses when he makes enough money to support the both of us easily. My boyfriend thinks it is completely reasonable for my family to pay these expenses for me. Do you think what my boyfriend is asking for is reasonable or not? Um, this is a good one because I can, no, because I can actually see, um, so yes, I think it's unreasonable. I'm heated.

Yeah. I'm sitting here boiling, but however, I think the fact that the reason was, well, he makes so much money. So he should pay a year. Right. I get that. But he's the top 1%. I get that. But I'm just saying that people don't like to feel like they're expected to cover other people because they worked hard and made their money and like whatever, you know, they don't like to feel expected. However, I think that you have to be considerate of each other's funds. And so I think it's absolutely ridiculous if he wants to live in this really nice place because he can afford it. Yet his girlfriend does not have the same funds as him. Then he should be covering more because it's like, that was what he wanted. If, if she was the one who was demanding this really

nice place and then was like, you cover it for all of us. But however, like, I mean, I have this situation with Jeff where he said that he wanted to do this and that in Mexico. And this is before we were actually officially dating. And I told him, I said, I would love to do those things. However, I don't feel comfortable paying those for those things. It's not within my budget right now. Yeah, it's just not with totally fair. And I'm just, I'm not going to feel good about spending my money doing those things. Yeah. And Jeff was like, well, he's like, would you be okay if I paid for those things for you? Because I would really like to do them. Totally fair and reasonable solution. And I'm not just saying that because he paid. But I think, I mean,

it was a good compromise. Like, you weren't expecting him to pay for you. You, you stated your boundary. Like, you know, I, you're already spending so much money on this trip, you know, whatever that is, and then to like pay for something, it's like, I just can't afford that. It's not a cost I anticipated. Yeah. I think in this situation, I've seen a lot of these posts come up on Reddit. When you have two people that are making vastly different incomes, I still think that they should definitely try to split costs the best they can. But then you have to go based off the lowest income. If you're splitting, if you're splitting rent, you go based off what the lowest income can afford. And there's like fucking formulas for it online where it's

like, okay, you should be spending 25% of your income on rent. And so you go based off that lowest person's income. Not sure if that's a formula, but I know there's some out there. But the fact that he wants to live in a place which is splitting is 2,500 a month. It's five grand a month just for, I mean, I don't know if that's like rent and utilities or what that really includes as far as their expenses. But like, that's a lot of money for someone that is going to be going to grad school, which first of all, you don't know where you're going to get accepted to grad school yet. I was living in Minnesota when I got accepted to a grad school in California. And after, you know, it was all said and done. And I considered other career options as well.

I applied to 10 grad schools, maybe nine, eight, somewhere in there, but I applied to a lot of programs and I got into one. So you don't know where you get accepted. So like moving across the country with this man, because of his job, because of his job, that's great sacrifice, big, big sacrifice. You're moving away from family, friends. You're only 22. You just got done with school and you don't know where you're going to graduate school yet. What if it's across the country? I think what she should do, because just based off of this sentence that you read, that's why I said what I said, my family also thinks it's really unreasonable for my boyfriend to ask me to pay for these expenses when he makes enough money to support the both of us easily.

So I think that my assumption is that how it has been communicated made him feel like he didn't want to be used for his money and made him feel like, well, I want to have an equal relationship where we're both going in on this. And so people can get really... Then you shouldn't be dating someone 10 years younger than you who isn't on the same fucking level as you. You're dating someone, they've been dating now for a little over two years. I don't know how I forgot that they were 10 years apart and this is an age gap story. So you're dating someone who's clearly a lot younger than you, 10 years. She's been in college for the past two years of your relationship and you instantly expect her to afford $2,500 a month.

Who knows if she has student loans, what the story is, but you want someone... That's basically like taking a puppy and saying, okay, puppy, you instantly need to be potty trained and jump through eight hoops and fucking run up a fucking ramp and go through an agility course. That's a fucking puppy. Date someone on your playing field. My thought is that he's just trying to protect his ego and I think that she should communicate with him in a more delicate way, like a more reasonable way where it can kind of stroke his ego a little bit. And if after that he still believes that she should be splitting a $5,000 rent cost with him, then she needs to leave him. And she probably is best to do that because honestly, she has a lot of things ahead of her that she needs to figure

out and if she's going to follow him around, she's not going to be able to achieve those as probably as best as that she could. Wait, I don't know what I just said, as best as she could. Yeah, as best as she could. Yeah, that's good. No, I think she does have a lot to figure out and I think kind of get your eggs in a row and this man moving across the country, yeah, that's a great opportunity for him. You should definitely take it, but you're clearly on two different pages. And I would also take it as kind of a lack of respect to where you're asking me to move across the country with you and make all these sacrifices and uproot my entire life, but yet you're not willing to support me on something that I'm going to pursue to make our lives better. Say she's going

to grad school to better her future, better her career opportunities, make more money if they end up together, which they've been together for two years now. So in his mind, you should see a future with someone if you've been with them for two years. You should want that person to achieve the most that they can if that means supporting them a little more in the meantime so that your lives are better down the road. That's a sacrifice you make for the sake of being a couple, your relationship and your future. Yeah, I mean, I would be heated if I was her, but she's not asking should I be with him or should I not. She's saying like, is it unreasonable or is it not unreasonable? So that's why my advice is more geared towards just communicate it to him differently and stroke

that ego a little bit. And then if he still expects that, then he's not your guy. No, he's a fucking dick. I just, I know what my grad school debt is and it's fucking six figures of pure, I got catfished and I'm sad about it. But I do, I like my career and I like helping people, but like grad school and just how much you spend on it is really not it. I did see one of the Instagram followers on, I almost said too hot to handle, on the Too Hot Takes Instagram account. She had occupational therapy in her bio. I know and it made me so happy. I just thought it was so cool that she's following and watching the show and I have my little occupational therapist right here. I do love it, but please, if you're thinking about OT, find a grad school that isn't $108,000

because that quickly turns into $180,000. Well, and then Morgan's now spending full-time editing and working on this podcast. So I love this podcast. So hopefully, and I love all of you guys. Hopefully this podcast pays off, pays off that occupational therapy debt. God, I can't even imagine. It's a pretty hefty sum. I told, I told my boyfriend Justin last night, I was like, that debt is going to be with me till I die. But that ladies and gentlemen is student loans in America. You could just file bankruptcy. Student loans are not forgivable with bankruptcy. Really? Dead ass. Wow. Who would have thunk? Top comment. Yeah. OP's boyfriend has three reasonable options. Live on OP's budget, pay more of the expenses to live on the budget he

wants or restrict his dating pool to people with a similar income. There it is. So OP does give an update. There's a lot of other comments that like basically say kind of you live on what the lowest person paid can afford. Yeah. That's, I think that's good advice. Love it. It's what's reasonable. So she gives an update and it says, thanks for all the replies, everyone. The one thing I left out of the original post is that I already decided prior to making the post that I was going to break up with my boyfriend because it was obvious our views on finances were simply incompatible. I also know my worth and know that I can find someone who treats me a lot better. Hell yeah. Round of applause. Yeah. I was curious to see what others thought and I am pleased

that most of you have validated my feelings. After I told my boyfriend that I was breaking up with him, he completely changed his tune and said that he did not want me to pay expenses and that he would actually pay me a monthly allowance to live with him. Wow. Fucking dick. Literally. Now he's just being a manipulative asshole. By that point, it was too late to fix things. However, I decided that we should go our separate ways. To the people who think this is a fake or a troll post, it is not. When my boyfriend and I started dating, he was still a poor student completing his PhD and working as a research assistant. He then got a job at a hedge fund and that salary is very typical for his role. Sometimes reality is stranger than fiction.

Damn. Good for fucking her. Yeah. Wow. Way to stand your ground. I love it. I'm so impressed. Absolutely. And the way that he comes back and is like, I will groveling. Yeah. So crazy. I'll give you an allowance. But where was this? Literally. Fucking option when you wanted me to move across the country with you. See, that's why I think that it was just a principal ego thing, which is still really obnoxious. And a red flag. Yeah. Huge red flag. However, that's why I was saying, if she talks to him about it in a different way, then I feel like he'd come around. But do you really? Which he clearly like, yeah, like he did, but it was too late. Yeah. And it's like, at that point, it's, do you really want to have to pull someone's teeth

or twist their arm to get them to make a decision that is what's right for your relationship? No. Because if he's not willing to make that decision or come to that conclusion, because they were talking about it, they were obviously having, you know, this conversation before to like hammer out these issues and for him to be like, I think your family should pay and her to be like, it's unreasonable. So they were obviously talking about it. So yeah, you shouldn't have to twist someone's arm for them to like, want to be with you and make some sacrifices. You know, I get it's a lot of money, but at the end of the day, then just find a place that's more affordable for both of you.

I agree. Otherwise, are you really do want to be with that person? I agree. And I mean, and Jeff is, Jeff is like a very, my boyfriend, he, what do you call it? He definitely wants me to, he wouldn't just want to pay for me for everything. Like if we were to move in together, like, we've talked about this. He would absolutely want me to contribute too. Yes. Although he makes more money than me. So it's like he would probably put in more. Yeah. Like he would definitely want me to contribute. Yeah. We've definitely had this conversation and this is something in your situation where like your boyfriend owns his house. And I've seen this time and time again on Reddit where this guy and

this girl were thinking about buying a house together. The man who actually was OP, the one posting went on his own, bought the house, but he still wanted his girlfriend to pay half of the mortgage. And it's like, you're the one that decided to buy this house on your own when you both could have had the house and you both could have then had that equity. But she's throwing her money away, essentially, whereas, you know, OP or the one that bought the house is gaining this equity. So I 100% think it's fair for someone to contribute to expenses, but you shouldn't be paying someone's mortgage on, you know, a house that you have no equity in. Because then I think I just, it's something that I just don't agree with. Yeah. It's a rabbit hole.

Yeah. But to a certain extent, because it's like, if you were paying rent regardless, because that was my thing whenever I was, whenever I talk about finances with Jeff is that I don't want to have to be paying much more than what I would normally pay on my own doing my own thing because I'm dating you and you make more money. But why not just buy your own apartment for the same cost as, you know, what a mortgage would be and you then have some equity. Like at the end of the day, he ends up with the deed to a house and you end up with nothing. Yeah. I don't think that's fair. I mean, but at the end of the day, if we are talking like we're going to get married, then it would be in both of our names. Put the deed, put my name on the deed.

I don't think, I don't, and here's the thing. He's been making those payments for the past, the past four years without you. So to just put your name on the deed, I don't think it's fair to him either. So it's, it's one of those things where it's like, it's hard because how do you, how do you navigate that? And this is why people get prenups to disclose all of their assets and determine how things are divided because. We don't like to talk about prenups here. I, I thought you were the one who didn't like prenups. I really, really, really, really put a sour taste in my mouth. I actually had someone, one of the fan members write in and said we should do an episode on prenups or, you know, talk about them and prenups are something that like

have always kind of put a sour taste in my mouth. It's not something that I really understood, but it's hard because, you know, you want to protect what you have and I understand, you know, if you own something before you get married, you want to keep it safe and I understand that, but I, it's just hard kind of getting your head around the concept of like, oh, you're planning for a divorce when you get married and I don't look at marriage like a business transaction, which some people do. I look at it as you get married for love and if you don't trust me and whatever, then why are we having this conversation at all? So prenups really psych me out, but I don't know. Well, we'll see as we'll see what happens down the road. See what happens, but I don't know. I just,

it's tough, but yeah, I think that for me, though, I wouldn't mind if I'm, if I'm paying towards my boyfriend's mortgage, who I plan to marry and then it's cheaper than what I would be paying for rent for myself. I think if you're paying, I think you're paying like $500 a month. Yeah, sure. $500, you couldn't live in a nice shack for that. Yeah, exactly. And I think that's probably what it would be if I were to be moving in. Yeah, I don't know. But I'm not going to. We're nowhere near that. So this is me. Yeah, I just, I hope he doesn't listen to this episode. It's a tough topic. I think, navigating finances in general are a tough topic for a lot of couples, families, everyone, friends even. It's finances are tough. Money is tough. Yeah. Money makes people do crazy things, say

crazy things. It's just a tough little thing to navigate. Agreed. Okay, on to the next. Utah is growing and we're growing too. What started on the U of U campus has grown to over 110,000 members with 20 locations and we're ready to meet even more of you. More than a campus or a branch. We are Utah's teachers, businesses and families. For over 65 years, we've been part of your community and while our name is changing, our commitment to you is not. University Credit Union is now U First Credit Union. See why it's getting even better here. Welcome to U First. Visit us at UFirstCU.com. Am I the asshole for icing out my cousin after she implied my wife was a predator? Hi. I'm a 27-year-old woman. Hi. Hi there. Hi, it's me, Morgan. Hi, I'm a 27-year-old woman.

What's the meaning about that? Like, hi, I'm Ryan. Oh, that's what it is. In my family, it's kind of crazy. That's what I was thinking about. Hi. My name's Morgan. Yeah. I'm just going to stop saying hi. It's kind of crazy. So you quit laughing. Okay. I am a 27-year-old woman and my wife is 33. We met when I was 25 and she was 31. So there's a six-year age difference, sort of. I'll be 28 in December and she won't be 34 for nine months after that. You guys are probably wondering why I'm reading this and I'm just going to say I don't think this age gap is weird at all. Yeah, same. Neither of us feel this age gap is very significant. Despite really liking me, she was actually a little more wary than I was starting the relationship. Not wanting to seem

like a creep. Haha. Not that it matters, but I was the one who initiated things and pursued her at the start. My 27-year-old cousin recently moved into the same city as us and has taken to showing up at our apartment whenever she feels like it. Despite us nipping in the bud and telling her multiple times, we may be busy and that there is a pandemic. We put our foot down about two weeks ago and then she's taken a FaceTiming. I hate FaceTiming. One thing- That is so weird to me. I hate it. Just let me- I try to FaceTime Morgan and she ignores me. Let me enjoy my triple chance in peace. God damn it. One thing she's touched on before is our age difference. She seems to have in her mind that because of our age gap and that I am very feminine, whereas my wife is a classic

butch, that my wife is controlling or that she's in charge or cat is in charge. And I'm kind of like a ditzy whatever. I've gotten so sick of it. Yesterday she called and she actually said, do you ever worry that what your wife did was actually kind of predatory? Which like what? I hung up the phone in Texas saying, I don't want to talk to you anymore until you get these weird ideas and stereotypes out of your head. And I certainly don't want you here for Thanksgiving. She wasn't even invited to our Thanksgiving in the first place but seemed to be hopeful that we would change our mind. I've been getting slammed with texts from my aunt and uncle. Cousin cannot return home for Thanksgiving and knows very few people here. I've essentially

isolated her. The guilt is starting to creep in now. Am I the asshole for essentially banning her from a relationship during a lonely time? No, I don't think you're the asshole at all. I think the fact that your cousin considers an six-year age gap is predatory. Well, it's weird. Part of me wonders if there's something else going on. Is she in to the wife or like why? I mean, she's showing up there all the time and then she's making a comment to make them doubt their relationship. She's crossing a lot of boundaries. Yeah. Why? What's the point of doing that? Like poke little and like plant those little insecurities. Exactly. Exactly. That's what it feels like. Because honestly, I mean, I think they met at, didn't they meet when she was

25? Yeah. Which is like, this is not, to me, this is not concerning at all. And I don't really know a lot of people that I think would think that's super concerning. So I don't know. Yeah. I guess though, like that being said, what, and this is where it's so hard and it's kind of situation by situation, but what line, like where is the line for okay, ooh, that age gap is getting a little, little suspicious. I mean, I think 10 years, a solid decade. I feel that you and I established that it's just when both parties are like working adults. Yeah. Because I mean, we talked about that. Same or similar playing field. Yeah. The first story that we talked about was 19 years. Yeah. 19 years different. And yet you were

feeling sad about the fact that she was getting so isolated. So bad for her. And so I think it really is just when you meet it's the scary part is just being really young and your brain isn't fully developed. Your prefrontal cortex is still mush. Kind of. It doesn't, it develops earlier in women, but later in men. So men's prefrontal cortex isn't, you know, developed until anywhere from 25 to 27 really, and it can be later depending on the person. So yeah, I think, I think a solid decade is enough for, enough for consideration. Just like, just kind of see what the details are. Well, so something, because I said in the beginning that my parents are 10 years apart and I never thought it was weird. I mean, they,

they got divorced, but they were together for over 15 years and I never thought it was weird, but it was funny because my sister, my oldest sister is 10 years older than me. And so whenever I was, you know, eight, she was 18. And I remember thinking that the guys that she brought over, oh, they're so cute, but like obviously way too old for me. And then I remember one day I did the math like, wait, that's the same age difference as my parents. Yeah. I'm like, I can marry this person one day. My dad likes to say this thing where, you know, if you're thinking about getting a relationship with someone, there's all those weird formulas like half your age plus 17 or seven, plus seven or whatever that weird fucking formula is. Like that's fine. And Danny,

if you, you know, you want to go by that, but I think at the end of the day, yeah, like 30 years might be a little 30 years age gap. Yeah, that's a little. Yeah. But at the end of the day, if there's, I mean, that's, that's 30 and 60 or 20 and 50. That's, that's a bit, that's a bit much. But at the end of the day, if you have a 10 year age gap or a 15 year age gap, if you can still have a meeting of the minds and you can still connect and relate and have similar interests, I think then it's okay. Yeah. That's what I was saying to Jerry, because Jerry's Morgan's dad and, and he always loves to make comments about old TV shows and movies and songs. And me and Morgan sometimes just look at him with a blank stare and, and we always say we're

like, we need, or Jerry needs to find someone who understands his little, his weird sense of humor and sexual humor because he's a little out there sometimes. It's true, but that's probably where you get it from too. Yeah. Um, so not the asshole. I think it's obviously family situations are very tough. Top comment, not the asshole. You're 27, not 17. She is not a predator. You're both in a similar stage of life. Your cousin was out of line. How much do you want to bet your cousin with data? 21 year old. This is by OP. So she goes, the predator comment upset me a lot, especially because there is that awful quote, predatory lesbian stereotype. And it has also seemed to play into how we present ourselves as people like she's in pants and a flannel and I'm going to dress and

that's to mean something. Yeah, that's obnoxious. Yeah. I also have a question. What is the youngest person that you've made out with like younger than you? Whether it's when you were 18 and they were 15 or if you're 25 and they were 21. I've never dated anyone younger. What, what do you mean your boyfriend's younger by six months? What's still younger? Well, yeah, you know, he likes to joke that I'm a cougar. But no, I, I've typically always dated like older, but like my biggest age gap, I think has been like four years to the younger older, biggest age gap has been four years older. So all of my

relationships have actually been older. But I think the youngest age gap of someone I've made out with was a year younger than me. And it was when like I was 16 or 17. And he was 15 or 16. So high school. Yeah. But other than that, I, yeah, I haven't either. I think that the, I think two, I think two years younger was the biggest age gap for younger, which is kind of funny to me because like I said, I've dated guys that are much older than me. Yeah. But I think that's like, yeah, as women, you know, like you mentioned, our prefrontal cortex does develop sooner. So we are more mature sooner. And I think it's hard, you know, to be a 22 year old woman and want a stable, healthy, mature relationship and men your age sometimes are still a little goofy.

Yeah. And I do have a friend who, and vice versa for guys too, I'm sure, you know, you have similar age problems with dating. Shrugs. Last one. I, 26 male, I'm engaged with a wonderful guy, 42 male, but my family makes a really big deal about our age gap and they all refuse to acknowledge our relationship. What's the math on this one? 42 minus 26. Don't make me pull up my calculator. Math is obviously not our strong suit, you guys. I'm not an accountant for a reason. Please, please cut that out. It's 16 year age gap. Okay, we're tired. Please cut that out, please. I know Lauren got a review where someone said she was dumb and it hurt our feelings. Well, I would just like to say that this I'm not dumb.

I would just like to say that this is not my full time job or my part time job or, I mean, I'm 27 years old and I've never done anything like this. I'm not an, I'm not an Instagram or just TV personality. And I think one of the things I noticed is that when we're doing this, sometimes it is a little nerve wracking when you know that it's about to go out to the public and that people that you never met before are able to judge you and your life and your stories that you've told. And then you have a couple of glasses of wine. Morgan's telling stories that have me flabbergasted. So yeah, sometimes I do sound kind of dumb. We all have our days. And you know, I will try my best not to sound dumb. I'm sorry for we continuously bring up

the reviews, but we do it because they do mean so much to us. And we, we truly read every single one because up until like, you know, February 10th, when our first episode released, I had never operated a fucking mic and a podcast like editing, like that was not our jam. So we are still, you know, new kids on the block despite a lot of you finding us already. And so we do appreciate every positive review and really are affected by the negative one. So just, just keep that in mind. We love constructive criticism, but maybe just message us on Instagram. But okay, Morgan definitely works so hard. And this whole thing she, it keeps her going when you guys post really nice things. It's really awesome. We love it.

Thank you. I do. I really do. Yeah. So back to our last final story. Now that we know that the age gap is 16 years, our math is in need of a refresher. I don't even know what number. I like, you added 34. No, I don't know what I was trying to do. Yeah, I don't know either, but it was, it was somewhat close, right? I was like minus the two off of the anyway. Math is hard going. Are you craving something fresh, healthy and delicious? Head on down to Lemon Shark Poké's brand new location in downtown Salt Lake City. Our Poké bowls are fully customizable, so you can mix and match your favorite ingredients to create the perfect meal for your taste buds.

Our new location is in the heart of downtown. So whether you're on your lunch break or out exploring the city, Lemon Shark Poké is the perfect pit stop. So come visit Lemon Shark Poké today and experience the fresh and delicious flavors of our Poké bowls and bento boxes. I 26 male, I'm engaged with a wonderful guy, 42 male, but my family makes a really big deal about our age gap and they all refuse to acknowledge our relationship. Throw away. Also, we live in EU, so English is not my first language. I met with Pierre when I was 18. I was freshman in medical school and he was doing his PhD in neuroscience at the time. He is actually a neurologist, but never had time to move academically after his residency. So he started at age 34.

We met at a mutual class, which we started as friends. Then it turns into romance in a year. Okay, so didn't start dating until 19. It was my first serious relationship, except abusive high school romance. And as a gay kid who moved to the big city, he held my hand at every stage of my metamorphosis. He was a widow who lost his wife when he was 28 at his son's birth. And I think we healed each other a bit. My family never took it well that I was dating someone that was 16 years older than me. We didn't even have to do the math. But they were polite. The only one who was fully supportive was my dad, because I think he saw how serene I felt with Pierre. I never knew my mom. She died when I was a year old due to a traffic

accident. So sad. Until Pierre, me and my extended family were very close and they were supportive when I was abused by my high school bully and they helped me to recover. Our relationship was strained within the time me and Pierre moved on with our relationship. They were still very polite, but I could feel he was unwelcomed and we then shortly gave up to show to the family events other than weddings and funerals. Dad mostly visited us in the city and we mostly spent holidays with Pierre's family and with his son, who is 14 years old now. Last month, after eight years, I proposed to him with the help of his son and we are currently engaged, waiting to elope. When my extended family heard this, there were phone calls begging me to reconsider,

saying that I was abused again, and I was making a huge mistake marrying a widower with a teenage boy. I need help to convince them that this is not the deal. I can live by my own, anytime I want, I have financial independence, etc. But they still see me as the little kid who was abused and needs to be protected from the big bad guys. Yeah, that's really tough. What are your thoughts? I think that it's good that his family is looking out for him or they're trying to look out for him. Yeah, they have his best interests at heart. However, I think he's 26 at this point and yes, it is a bit older than him. I think that you can't just assume that he's going for an older guy because of an abusive relationship. No. I don't think that's fair to

assume of his family. Yes, it's fair to be a little concerned. Yeah, maybe they're more concerned about the fact that he could be potentially in another abusive relationship. Yeah, I think that's exactly it. The age gap is kind of for them like, oh, this older man is taking advantage of our young nephew grandson, whatever the relationship is. I think it's definitely a big age gap. It's 16 years, which I think other than the 19-year age gap is one of the biggest ones we've had. But for some reason, I think the fact that they dated for eight years doesn't really, I think that kind of shows a testament to how strong their relationship is. I agree. So this one doesn't really freak me out compared to some of the other stories.

Unless there was behind the scenes stories of abuse throughout these past eight years that why his family is concerned. Yeah, definitely. I think it's hard though. Unfortunately, I don't think you're really going to be able to convince your family. Sometimes family just can't be convinced and you just need to block them. Yeah, I think there's a better way though. But what if your family literally said, I hate Jeff. I don't want you with Jeff. Bye, Jeff. No. I know I'm kidding. But say it was a situation like that and you were with the nicest guy in the world, which it sounds like these two really kind of did save each other in moments of struggle and have this great relationship now. So what if you were in this amazing relationship with

the most supportive, nice person and your family still hates him? What would you do if Jerry, your dad, said, fuck Justin? I've been with Justin now for almost three years and it's like he's the kindest, most thoughtful, loving person I've ever been with. And so if he doesn't like him, then that's a really, that's a red flag on my dad's part. Yeah, but would you just cut your dad out? Would you actually block him from everything? I think that you would try your hardest to sit down and have a lot of conversations with him. Yeah, I would. Maybe not a therapy with him or something like that. That's obviously like blocking isn't the first immediate step, but it sounds like he's, you know, spent the past eight years trying to convince his family.

And if he's not convincing them after eight years, I don't know if he's going to. So was this, they just recently got engaged? Yes. And so that's why they're starting to freak out before they weren't worried about it? Yeah, they were worried about it and had an issue with it and weren't supportive. But I think when people make big life decisions or life moves like getting married, getting engaged, having a child together, it kind of like cements that relationship. And people are finally like, Oh, fuck, he's serious. This is a phase. Yeah. So but yeah, I mean, obviously cutting family off and blocking isn't the first step. You obviously try to establish boundaries and try to remedy the situation. But if you can't do that,

yeah, and they're going to be toxic. Yeah, I agree. I think that if anyone in my family really realistically didn't like Jeff, for not a good reason, yeah, it would be really hard for me. I don't really know how it'd go about that. I know, I would try. I would try to have a lot of conversations. But at the end of the day, if it was a really unreasonable reason and I'm really happy with Jeff, then yeah, that's, they're not being a supportive person to me in my life. No, and they're not being fair. Like where are you drawing this conclusion from when this person has demonstrated nothing but kindness, love, like where are you getting this shit from? You, I think like people to like, you always like as a family member to you always have this

fear like, Oh, I don't want so and so to get hurt. I'm just looking out for you. But at the end of the day, like, like getting hurt is kind of a part of life unfortunate as it is. So what's to say the 16 year age gap, isn't the best relationship this person could be in? What if the next person they dated that was a two year age gap, abuse them? Right. So true. So I don't know. I think I actually am not bothered by this age gap. And I also think too, something that I really believe and have seen is that if someone is fully in love, if your friend is fully in love, you can recommend certain things or point out certain things gently, or if they ask for advice, you can be honest with them. But at the end of the day,

if you're trying to come in and attack the relationship, they're only going to push you out because they're fully in love with this other person. So it's like, you have to be really delicate about that delicate, gentle. I think that's a great way to put it, especially unfortunately, if someone is an abusive relationship, because a lot of times those individuals shut you out. Yeah. And the abuser will oftentimes shut you out too. And the last thing you want is to have that person, you know, annihilated from the world and their social supports. But I think, yeah, saying it very gently and just offering your support and it's hard. It's really hard. But you do want to, you know, make sure that they're going to be safe and comfortable and happy.

And with the abuse of relationships too, like, at the end of the day, you can, you might be able to say to those people, Hey, you're getting abused. That's like saying, Hey, this guy is blue, but they don't see it as blue. They see it as purple. Right. And it doesn't, they're not ready to leave that relationship until they're truly ready. A lot of times they already, they need to figure that out for their exactly themselves. So yeah, there's typically a straw that breaks the camel's back. And then it's finally that like the rose colored glasses come off. Yeah. So that's why I think it's like the harder with a lot of these stories too, the harder that you try to force people to break up, the more you're just going to push them away

from you. Yeah. Did that make sense? Yeah. No, you do. You definitely can't force anything on, you know, your friends, family and whatever, which one of the top comments says that, you don't get to make your family suspend their beliefs based on their experiences just because their opinions are uncomfortable to you. You can demand politeness, but you cannot expect them to sit by as you make what they think is a mistake. You cannot expect them to not voice their concerns. If this man is worth it to you, you just need to weather it out and give them time, which we said time consistency. And then this person goes, this is the best reply here. They don't have to agree with OP's choices, but they do have to respect them. Agreed. But that doesn't mean they won't

feel a duty to try and save OP from their mistakes, which so we all do. We all, most of us, all of us listening because I feel like we bring in, we bring in the vibes and the good people, but I think we all have our family, friends, loved ones, best interests in heart and, you know, life relationships is a tough world to navigate and isn't the easiest sometimes. I got nothing. Should I read this one last one? Yeah. Okay. So I found something that made me laugh because it gave you a giggle. It's similar to a situation that happened in my high school. Yeah, you gave me a little, a little warning for this one and I, I didn't like it. This was a Reddit

post that was a question. Men who have dated slash hooked up with much older woman, what's your story? And the response of the top comment was, oh sweet, one that finally relates to me. I went to Mexico when I was 20, met a hot girl at the resort bar, but after a few drinks and conversation, she slipped that she was only 16. Despite being legal, not sure what that means, because it doesn't seem like she's legal. Maybe in Mexico, I get, I don't know. But despite being legal, that was too young for me. So I politely finished our conversation and moved on. Later that night, she's shit-faced, falling down, knocking over chairs and such. Nobody is helping her. And since I had met her, I decided to walk slash carry her back to her

room at the resort. Luckily, she's cognitive enough to direct me to her in her mother's room. Her mother opens the door and she was hot, just like her daughter. Looked like she was about mid 40s. She put her daughter in bed and thanks me a hundred times. Then the mother asks if I'd like to take a stroll around the hotel resort with a bottle of tequila. Tequila, nothing good comes from that. A win in Mexico. Long story short, I went down on her in the resort lobby at 3 a.m. The lobby? Holy shit. What are you doing for the daughter that he was going to the bathroom? Go in the bathroom. Don't subject anyone else to going down on someone.

I almost said mucking someone's bin, which is by far the grossest term to ever describe going down on a woman. I feel like you've said that multiple times. You're the only person I've ever known to say that phrase. That is unfortunately something I picked up from being around one too many hockey players. I was going to say that's for sure hockey, isn't it? It is. Oh, I mucked her bin. I'm so sorry, guys. The reason I thought this was funny enough to share is that there was this kid from my high school. I was a sophomore at the time. He was a senior and so him and his friends all went on senior spring break and his mom chaperoned them. Lo and behold, the mom got drunk and hooked up with one of his best friends.

I'm not sure if he was 17 or 18 at the time, but like we said, what does it really matter? 17 to 18 is a day difference. Go find another dad at the bar and get your rocks off that way. How does that happen? That's disgusting. What I was saying is that I felt so bad because although he was able to just kind of dip out of there, he was a senior, went off to college, but he had a sister that was still in school. So I was like, damn it. And like that poor girl, now she's known as like, oh, you're the girl with the pervy mom. And no one's going to trust her to go on another spring break. The thing is, is that people buried it pretty well. And I think my theory behind,

because my high school was just vicious, just like a lot of high schools are. And I think the difference was is that he was a part of the popular group. So I feel like they they buried it. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. But I don't know how it really didn't. That's so gross. Yeah, they but not buried it well enough because you still found out. Yeah, that's true. I mean, everyone kind of knew, but no one really talked about it in a way that was like making fun of him, like calling him names, you know what I mean? Like everyone just kind of let it push it under the rug at the end of the day. That's on his disgusting mother. Yeah, I just I almost like part of me almost feels bad for her because I'm like, what was she?

Oh, for the mom? No, no, I know. No, I mean, I feel bad for the kids. But like part of me is like, was the bomb like on drugs or like, did she wake up and she was like drunk as fuck? Did I just do? You know what I mean? Like, this is like a Mrs. Robinson type thing. Have you heard about that story? Mrs. Robinson? There's a movie with Jennifer Aniston. I don't forget what it's called, but it's her and Mark Ruffalo Ruffalo. Again, I'm back. You are bad with celebrity names, but I actually don't know that one either. But I know their names. It's the guy that plays the hawk. I think it's Ruffalo. I'd say Ruffalo. I fucking don't know. Ruffalo? I don't know if I trust that. Who is this person? Why am I supposed to trust this guy? It has a lot of views on you

unless it's Mark Ruffalo himself. I don't trust it. Ruffalo? Ruffalo? Okay, we got it. Mark Ruffalo. Ruffalo. What did I say? I said Ruffalo. I say the exact opposite of what it actually is. Margot Robby. Robbie Robby. I'm so sorry, Margot, if you're out there. Sure, she's listening. And Markey, but there's this movie where basically this grandma, main character is Jennifer Aniston. Got it. Who has a grandma. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Who has this grandma who was notorious for being the Mrs. Robinson, basically. And she had sex. Rumor has it, by the way. Yes, rumor has it is the movie. And she had sex with her daughter's boyfriend or ex-boyfriend. And so the daughter had sex with this dude, the grandma had sex with this dude. And then, lo and behold, Jennifer

Aniston kind of goes down this wormhole of not feeling like she fits in with her family. And she wants to fit in apparently because she fucks this guy too. That's not exactly how the movie goes. But it's not an accurate sparknotes depiction, you guys. I'm sorry. But you're onto something. But, but yeah, it is pretty fucking crazy though. It's just like three generations. Yeah. Three generations. I don't know. Like maybe, maybe there was some like flirty, like, oh, Mrs. Robinson, like vibes going on. Who knows. But the mom fucked up, which speaking of moms, I have a write in from one of our listeners. We'll do this. And this will be the end of our lovely show. I need an opinion. I have a baby daddy who occasionally complains about child

support and how it's too high or how I received a stimulus from my son and he didn't. The thing is, I don't feel bad for receiving child support since he got me pregnant at 15 and he was 28. My mother always tells me I was equally at fault for that. And I should have known better. But shouldn't he be grateful he got off scot-free without any jail time? Yes. Yes, he should. Is it wrong for me to not feel bad about child support? It's only a little over 500 a month. Yeah. I think, first of all, getting pregnant at 15 in general is probably a very hard thing. Oh my God. It's probably very hard. So I applaud you for going through that and you're a warrior,

a champion. And, and then second of all, the fact that he was 28 is so concerning. And yes, he is a pedophile. Fuck the dude. Fuck your mom because your mom telling you you're equally as fault. I think your mom might equally be at fault because you were a child. Yeah. Your mom was supposed to be your mom watching out for you. You are a child at 15. I just don't understand how her mother could say that. I don't know. Maybe it was when they were in a fight and she just, and she yelled it because she was mad that she's has to take care, like help her take.

I don't know. Not, not okay. No, it's not okay, but I'm just trying to like rationalize a little bit. I'm just trying to wonder because I think that I'm sure her mom loves her, but her mom is not being very smart. Some toxic ass moms out there. Yeah. But no, he should owe you fucking the lottery. Uh, yeah. Not 500 a month. No. And I know like my mom and her child support was about $500 and that was 1994 to 2012. We're now in almost 2022. So 10 years later and someone's child support is still 500

when the cost of living and having a kid has gone up. 500 is nothing. That's groceries. Like, so why doesn't she take him to court? OP, you should, if you haven't, if that is court ordered child support, child support is based on income though. So he could not be making that much or that could just be an agreement between the two of them. But if you haven't, honestly, I just saw, but I mean, if you had a court and you're literally like, I'm like what she was saying, yeah, no, she would potentially get more if he's making good money. It's based on income. So I just watched like, um, I wonder how old she is now. Does she say no, but I saw, I creeped on her Instagram and

her little kiddo looks like he's like five. He's really cute. Maybe six, but he's a little cutie. But I just watched this child support, like TikTok, like child support court, whatever, TikTok. And this guy had a job making 63,000 a year and his child support was like $1,200 a month, which seems like it's a certain percentage of your income essentially is how it's, it's calculated. But, um, yeah, I mean, $500 a month is nothing. So you definitely should not feel bad. Nope. At all. Not at all. Well, you guys, that's all we have on this age gap episode. If you have any crazy age gap stories or want our takes on your age gap, send it our way. I think I've grown a lot from this episode. And I mean, you saw me, I didn't even hate on a 16 year

age gap or a 19 year age gap. I'm impressed. I know. I'm impressed. I've come a long way. But thanks for joining us on another episode of Two Hot Takes and until next time. Cheers. Bye. Bye. No. Any hour services has a team of technicians that can take care of any plumbing, electrical, or air conditioning needs you might have around your house. Got a drain that's clogged? Call any hour services. Need a ceiling fan installed? Call any hour services. Air conditioner not working? Call any hour services. Maintenance repair or install any job, any size, any hour services. Mention this ad and take 50 bucks off your next visit. Call any hour services or schedule online

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