Two Hot Takes - 181: Drop a Pin, Buttercup.. Ft. Hannah Berner

Episode Date: September 5, 2024

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Hannah Berner! Hannah is coming off her amazing comedy special "We Ride at Dawn", and so we chimed in on stories that have us ready to ride if OP would drop a pin. Whether that's to witness a wedding mishap or get someone out of a not so great situation we need a pin dropped. Can't wait to hear your thoughts on these ones.  Ticket Giveaway: https://forms.gle/4djNX77JHpbG6SA99 Checkout Hannah's Content!! https://www.instagram.com/hannahberner/?hl=en https://beacons.ai/hannahberner LIVE SHOW TICKETS HERE!! https://linktr.ee/twohottakestour MERCH IS ON SALE HERE ! https://shop.twohottakes.com Bonus Content on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes I can't wait to see you all in these, especially at our live shows!! Our PO Box!! Two Hot Takes. 5042 Wilshire BLVD. #470. Los Angeles, CA 90036 Our SubReddit to Submit YOUR Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I love having you. I love being here. Every time you come into the studio, I just feel like I'm like, you're like my emotional support person. I feel like you see me on some of the worst days. Like truly the last time you saw me, I was having a mental breakdown from hell. And it's so funny because you're so good. You're so Midwest. So you have such a cheery, just overall vibe that I'm always like, she's the happiest person I've ever met.

You know, some days, some days. No, I also think you're so interesting because you literally look like a like, just like a cute cartoon character who's always happy. But then you have like so many other sides to you that are like fascinating. I love you. You're just like the ultimate little hype girl. You're a horse superhero. I know. Hannah met the ponies today.

I met the ponies, gorgeous. Gave them a couple carrots. They were real happy about that. I love, I feel like talk about emotional therapy animals. Yeah. Are they smarter than us? I don't know. They're very motivated by food. They're really smart. They're really smart and they're really emotional. Horses are really emotional. Wait, that's so funny. They know when you're sad. And they just like cuddle. Are they moody? Yeah. Very sassy. Like they're like I woke up on the wrong side of the hay. Yeah. Actually. Actually. Like they're they're sassy little things. I love it. Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host Morgan.

Today we are joined by the amazing Hannah burner. Thank you for having me again. No. I hope you all aren't sick of me. It's an open invite. I have opinions. Opinions. Amazing comedy special out right now.

Thank you. I literally, I went to go watch it and it was like number two. And I was like, fuck yes. You never know with these algorithms? You really never know. You are doing so well. Oh my God, thank you. Well, Netflix is also weird because I saw it charting.

And I was like, wait, is it just my algorithm at charting? No. Or are other people seeing? It was number two in the world. Crazy. Insane. But so, so deserved. Like, Hannah works harder than probably anyone I know.

Like, nonstop, go, go, go. Multiple podcasts. You have giggly squad with your friend page. I'm running away from my thoughts. I think once you find something that's fun, you're like, okay, let's just, let's do it. Yeah. Because otherwise I feel like I have no purpose. I love a to-do list.

I love checking. Even if it's little things, check that shit off. I know. I went to Home Depot and I had a list of items and I was like, oh, shovel, yep, hook, check. I sound like, I'm going to kill someone. I'm not. I know, like, what body are you burying? But it just felt so good.

I'm like, okay, this is what it feels like to be accomplished. Literally better than sex is like cross that. I'll just write a little thing to just cross it off and be like, oh, she's just accomplishing things. I need to do that. Gave horse carrot, check. Yeah. Like little things, make it attainable.

Yeah. I love that. Today's theme, I mean, your whole special and everything you've been doing lately is like very for the girls, for the people, we ride at Don. Like you are just there about like helping the people. Like you, you know, so today's theme I have for you is drop a pin. So these are people that they might need our help. They got to drop a pin or, you know, I want to be in on the fun too.

I want to see that freak out. So drop the pin. We're going to roll up. Let's do it. We ride at Dawn for them. We ride at Dawn. Let's go. Let's dive in.

Okay, this first one, it's coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Returning My Wife's Shoes? My wife was at the doctor's office for our baby's two-week checkup when I stumbled upon new purchases in her closet, as in shoes, flip-flop, sandals, etc. That looked pretty close to the ones she already had in the closet, that she had bought earlier this year in preparation, I guess, for summer. except that the shoes were much bigger than the ones that she had had previously. This is our first baby, and to be honest, what I noticed more than anything is the fact that her feet have gotten swollen, wider and longer as the pregnancy progressed. It has been a big mood killer for me, and it's made worse by the fact that my mom compares pregnancy feet to a loaf of bread, and I can only visualize her feet like that now. But more than that, my mom said that feet are supposed to shrew.

after pregnancy, and that weight loss is a big part of it. So I was upset that my wife just spent all this money on new shoes when she barely goes anywhere outside of either her bedroom or our baby's room, and should be gunning for weight loss instead of throwing in the towel. I thought that it was an impulse purchase that in the end was going to waste money and disincentivize her to lose weight and look for solutions for her swollen feet. As a result, I ended up taking the shoes back and getting refunds. Now my wife is pissed, and I feel like she's just going to refuse to lose weight out of spite. Am I the asshole? I can't help feeling not attracted to her, and unfortunately, the state of her feet is something I notice very clearly.

And I'm also still mad that she used my money without permission, and I'm tempted to cut up the credit cards she uses if she's going to impulse by. So, am I the asshole? I need to throw that computer across the room. I'm enraged. I don't know if I've ever been so one-sided on one of these. Let's go. Pop off, girl. Well, I have so many questions. There's so many red flags. Why are you talking to your mom that much? Why are you a grown man asking your mom all these questions about your wife's feet? That's insane. Also, when your wife just birthed your child and wants to...

Two-week-old baby? Two-week-old baby. Two-week-old? And wants to feel comfortable walking around. Also, okay, I get it. If they're... were like Louis Vuitton. I don't think they were Louis Vuitton. They sound like Target flip-hops. I just wanted to say Louis Vuitton. They're deaf. I'm giving maybe $50 max. You should be fucking doing everything you can to make your wife feel as comfortable as possible. She didn't go behind her back and she might have been a little embarrassed. And also swollen feet is not the same as like losing weight. It's retention from the pregnancy. Let's go. We ride at dawn for

this woman. How many times did he mention weight? It was crazy. She needs to lose weight. I hope she's not disincentivized to not lose weight now. She's going to not lose weight out of spite. It's giving like he has like a weird foot fetish, right? That. Well, his whole like, they're longer, they're what? My husband doesn't even notice if I get a pedicure. Also, if you're worried about her feet being swollen, massage them. Massage them. Retrograde massage, baby. Come on. Like, be a participant in this. Also, like, thinking of worrying the most about your wife's feet when you've just had two. babies. It's like, thank God she's healthy. Thank God, I hope the babies are healthy. There's so many more

things if we're going to be worried about something. I'm really not happy with this, man. No, the other part that really irks me is the financial abuse comment. I'm mad that she spent my money on this. No, sir, if you have a stay-at-home wife and you're choosing to have your partner stay home to take care of your child, that is your money. The financial abuse, and I'm sorry, if you're My partner cut up a credit card because I bought a couple pairs of shoes. Divorce. Also, imagine dealing with this, like, coming home from having a baby and being like, oh, where's my sandals? That fit my feet.

And he's like, I went out and returned. What? In that time, you could have massaged my feet and done whatever freaky shit you want to do to my feet because clearly that's all you're obsessing about. All he sees are loaves of bread. Also, who doesn't like a loaf of bread? What's wrong with you, sir? I love bread. Get out some bread and butter.

and let's go. I would tag a baguette right now. Oh, God. With some buffalo butter. Oh. Have you had buffalo butter? No. The best butter there ever is. Like from buffalo?

Yeah, apparently they can milk those things. Well, next day I know you're going to have a buffalo in your backyard with the two horses. Honestly, don't put it past me. Don't put it past me. I want a donkey really bad. I thought you meant like buffalo sauce butter. No, like buffalo. Because that's some white trash shit.

Tatonka. Buffalo. Oh, yeah. Cool. I don't know. I'm into it. I don't know how they get it, but. Milk.

be done. It can be done. Okay, now we're hungry. But no, I'm like really, I'm like at divorce level with that man. I am too. I think there's a lot of concerning red flags. And I do think if you are concerned about your wife's feet, like talk to her, buy or pedicure, do something about it. But like people's feet don't usually get smaller. Like, I don't know if this is like. My feet get bigger in the summer just because it's hot out. That and the more you work on your feet, like your feet do change over time. Like when I was a flight attendant and I was on my feet nonstop or working retail. my feet did change. They got a little bigger. I went up a half side. Also, I'd love to see his fucking feet. They probably look disgusting. I don't see your fucking hairy toe knuckle. I have a hairy toe knuckle. I'm Italian. I one time went to a pedicure spot and the lady just started tweezing my toe hair unsolicited. See, I love that. I'd be like, thank you. I mean, painful. I was all embarrassed. But I love that she didn't ask. That was nice of her.

She didn't want to embarrass me. Yeah, she didn't want to say it out loud. I'll get a lot of like, I'll be getting a facial and they're like, do you want me to get a little bit of your mustache off? And I said, yes, ma'am. Oh, my God. Those chin hairs, they come in so hot. Like a belly goat. Oh, my God. I had a joke that I said.

I was like, live life like a chin hair. When someone tries to take you out, come back stronger than ever. If that isn't accurate. Right. I don't. Oh my God. I need that on a t-shirt. Yeah, it's funny.

Or a coffee mug. It's so motivational. It is. But they will come back stronger every time. And darker. Darker. They started out blonde, now they're black. And then TikTok tries to tell you you of like a hormonal imbalance.

I'm like, no, I think I'm just a girl with a chin hair that I get to play with when I'm like spacing out. I know. And if I find it when I'm driving, I just sit there and I just try to the whole car ride just to get it. It's so hard to get it. But when you do, like cross it off your schedule list. It's so satisfying. Why? Why are we like this?

Oh, God. We went off on a tantrum. Top comment on this one. I really hope you're a troll because if not, you're a huge asshole and a terrible husband. Thank you. She gave up her figure to bring your child into the world two weeks ago. Her shoes do not fit her. This wasn't an impulse by.

It was a necessity. You do not have the right to threaten her with financial abuse because she had the audacity to want shoes that fit her. Guess what, Buttercup? When my mom was pregnant, her feet grew two sizes, all caps. And never went back down. Despite the fact that she lost weight, you suck and you're the asshole. Wait, I love how she threw buttercup in there. Or he.

Guess what? Buttercup. And you start saying that. Okay, buttercup. Okay, buttercup. Okay, buttercup. Okay, yeah, sure, buttercup. I think it's better than sweetie.

Yeah, sweetie. Yeah, this is like the new, this is upgraded, sweetie. That is elite level. No, that. Did he like just, maybe he has like a kink where he wants people. to call them an asshole. Ooh, I could see that. We have some degrade.

What's that big word? Yeah. Degration. Degradation. Degradation. Next. It sounded like something people do in like a lawn. I degradated my lawn.

It does actually. You can go along with irrigation. Yeah. I got some new degradation in my lawn. Look at you. Look at you. Yard work. Hannah.

Farmer Hannah. Farmer Hannah. I could see you being a farmer. I do want to have like a. cat dog sanctuary one day and be a painter in a farm. You have it. You have that. It's in me. I see it. It wants to come out. The overalls with like the paint all over it. Yes. I'm just like and I'm always really busy, but I actually have nothing to do. Yes. I want that for you more than anything. You need a vacation.

I'm not even selling the paintings. I'm just like, I have to finish this painting. Yeah. Oh, I love that. Okay. Moving along. Okay, let's lighten it up a little bit. Let's lighten it up. This next one is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the Asshole for agreeing with my niece being booed at her sister's wedding and then later putting her in check. I have two nieces and one recently got married. The other one is pregnant with her first child. At the reception, she used her toast time to announce her pregnancy. My niece is selfish like that and has always stolen the spotlight. She always got away with it though because she was the favorite. Well, she didn't get away with it this day. The groom's family and friends immediately booed her loudly. The best man, groom's brother, said on the mic, how dare she use his brother's wedding to announce that and, quote, this day is not about you. The booing changed to applause and not just from his family and friends. I clapped too. My selfish niece and her husband left out of embarrassment. I went to the bruce. to check on her and hug her. That's when I found out my niece had asked the bride for permission

to announce it weeks ago, quote, because it's practical, since the whole family will be there. But the bride had said no. She wanted that day to be about her and her husband. This made me very glad that I clapped. Later on, my selfish niece sent me a text message blasting me for clapping while she was being humiliated. I ignored it. She called me the next day and blasted me, but this time I told her she deserved it. I told her I knew her sister asked her not to announce anything, quote, but you had to make it about you like always. Then she had the nerve to tell me, quote, she's always been your favorite niece. And while that's true, that pushed me over the edge. I told her, quote, she, the bride, had to be someone's favorite since you held that title with both of your parents.

Unlike you, she has a kind and selfless spirit that she'll pass on to her first child. Then I told her I don't want to hear from her until she grew the fuck up and apologized to her sister. Then I hung up. Now I'm all kinds of assholes to my sister, their mom, and other family members for clapping and for my words over the phone. I don't regret the clapping. But did I go too far over the phone? Wait. I love that the groom's family stood up for her.

Like that is, that's actually the most romantic thing I've ever heard. Iconic. And obviously, I feel like there are multiple sides to this story because she's really making this one girl seem like the most horrible human that's ever Walk This Earth. Varuka salt vibes. Just spoiled brat. Yes.

If the facts are true, though, that like the bride said no. Also, it's crazy to ask that. And then you did it out of, it was convenient, which that's not a good excuse. And you still did it. Like, you do deserve it. I do feel like if you're going to clap, then you're asking for a little drama. So like their responses are valid too. But I do think that she made a point.

And you did you, girl. You like stand your ground, say it with your chest. Absolutely. You got told no and you still went ahead with it. Looks like you're dealing with the consequences now. Exactly. That's how it works, babe. Exactly.

That's how it works, buttercup. That works buttercup. Come on. That's such crazy behavior. Also, the whole, like, favorite niece thing. Like, okay, look, I know, like, we'll joke in my family and be like, oh, like, I got a lot of attention on this or, like, yeah, my grandpa really loved me. But, like, it's not that obvious and it's not true.

It's a joke. Yeah, it's a joke. So the fact that they, like, have a ranking system and she's like, you always thought she was the favorite. Like, what? It's so strange. Come on. Your family, your sisters.

Yeah. It's giving golden child and scapegoat. Yeah. Like, she was the golden child. And now that like she got put in her place and wasn't fond over, she's losing it because this has never happened to her. You know what? This is kind of reactive abuse a little bit for the aunt because it's like she's reacting to what the girl was doing and everyone's mad at her for her reaction. Let's focus on what the niece did. Yeah. Your sister's wedding is not a family reunion.

No. It's not a time to make it about you. You are there for quite literally one reason. Yes. Your sister. And don't project your embarrassment and blame it on your aunt for clapping because that was just a reaction to the bullshit. Yep. Yep. Top comment on this one.

Not the asshole. But now I'm wondering if the bride had a feeling her sister would make the announcement anyways and suggested the booing to her new in-laws and hubby's friends. I don't care if she did. I don't care if she did. She probably was embarrassed and knows her sister and was like, hey, just warning you guys this might happen. And if it happens, like, I'm not going to be happy. So she basically made sure that she had people there to try to save the moment for her still. Which is what, like, everyone does at weddings.

Like, oh, hey, can you keep an eye on my, on Sally? After a couple drinks, she's going to start talking about so-and-so's, you know. Security, you know, watch out for Sally. She might try to have an affair. Everyone does that. Like, you kind of have those people that, come to your weddings or baby showers or whatever. Like, that's normal.

Good for her for being proactive and making sure people had her back. Because her own sister sure fucking didn't. It definitely is a quality of families where, like, someone's known to make it about them. Always. And it's like, I definitely have had these situations where someone's like, hey, so-and-so tends to make it about them. And will be somewhere important. And someone suddenly, like, is always, like, sick or like they're, you know, something happened that they're not telling people about. but it's like to get the attention on them.

And you're like how many, it's like it becomes a pattern. Always. But then I sometimes like have empathy for them because I'm like what happened that you can't not have people worrying about you all the time or like praising you all the time? Like deep down you really need that. Yeah. Yeah. And and it's funny because with me obviously I love attention but I like hated wedding attention.

I know. I remember you telling me that. I heard that story and I was like, wait, I would have loved someone else to make it about them. Because I want to like, my own demons or like I want to earn people's attention. Like I want people to be like, I don't know if I like her and then be like, give me the mic and let me win you over. But like me forcing people to come and like celebrate me, I get like it makes me unsettled. Even though like everyone obviously is excited. But like I'm like a people pleaser.

So the whole time like are you guys having fun? Are we having fun? Are you having fun? We should unpack that more later. Yeah. You are worthy of love and attention without working for it. No one likes when people sing happy birthday for them. I feel like that's a lie. I feel like it's the most awkward, first of all, difficult song to sing.

Why is it so hard? Why did they put such a high note in the most popular song in America? I would love to use the Spanish version because I feel like that's a little easier. And it's so much more of light and fun. Cumbinos, felons. Yeah. Yes. Bring that out. Bring that out. Make that the standard because it's way easier.

That's so funny. No, yeah, I never know what to do with my hands. Everyone's staring at you. Everyone's, okay. I might... Wait, I don't want to ruin it for you, but like I personally, like, I will fight to the death for people not to sing. Happy Birthday. I do like the Applebee's version. Happy, happy birthday from all of us to you. Yes. We wish it was our birthday so we could celebrate too. Or whatever. How many times do you think they prank your friend and that you're like, it's my friend's birthday when it's not just so they get the song? probably pretty often. Yeah, I think it's the move. But it comes with free dessert. So like a win is a win. A win is a win. Someone has a sacrifice. I'm going to really think about this happy birthday now. I think the most awkward is when you don't know someone's name and you get to the name part and you're like, um, nam, nah, happy. Or they have a nickname. You're like, are we saying the nickname? Are we not? Yeah. But actually, let's be honest, thinking back, I would not be happy if someone announced their pregnancy at my wedding. It's just disrespectful. Tacky. It's tacky. It's disrespectful. It's mean. And also like this bitch already got. I would not be happy. I would not be happy. It's disrespectful. It's just disrespectful. It's mean. And also like this bitch already got. married and no one did that at her wedding. No. And you're going to have a baby shower. So that's your day.

Not this one. Oh my God. Booing is so funny. We need to boo more. We need to boo more. We need to we need to boo more. I think honestly, physical tomatoes. Tomato tomato. I was going to say tomato, tomato, tomato. But also this is like just like it's a learning lesson for that. I'm like excited that this happened to that woman. But in this moment instead of projecting it all the issue onto your aunt, be like, what did I do wrong in this situation? How can I learn from it? Yeah. And she needs to like have a really big formal apology. Yeah. And I think they'll be able to move forward from it. I think so. Because it can be a learning lesson if she reacts to it the right way.

I think so. And I hope as a character development, because you know, you're about to have a baby, sis. Like you got to get some good quality traits. Imagine with that kid's older, I'd be like, you want to know about before you were born? You were booed. You were booed from the belly. You're the boo baby. I would like a pin drop. So I would like a pin drop. So I'd like. can see the video in person. Oh my God. Please, if you're out there, bride,

please post this on TikTok. I know someone was recording those speeches. But that will end the relationship between the sisters if it goes viral. Just send it to me. Or sometimes, honestly, cutting ties is sometimes very healthy.

Well, no contact. I could see it. A couple years. I could see it. At peace. I love that. Sometimes nice. Moving along.

Do you want to ease into being mad or do you just want to like? I'm already. Mad. Okay, we're here. Okay. It is titled, Am I the asshole for slapping my husband in the face? Where is this going to go? My 43 male husband thinks it's funny to constantly slap me 43 female in the privates all day, every day. He sneaks up behind me and will stick his fingers in my ass or slap my vagina. He does this in front of the kids. Once or twice is one thing, but this is at least 10 times a day. Tonight I was in the shower washing my face and he came in and slapped my privates. He knows I don't like it. I've told him. I have bad hemorrhoids after having the kids so when he sticks his finger there, it hurts. He knows this. Sorry for the TMI, but I am pissed. After the shower

tonight, I slapped him in the face. Not hard, but hard enough to sting. His reaction was to punch me in the stomach and tell me he wants a divorce for hurting him. He's never done that before, and in my opinion, way overreacted. After 11 years of marriage, that was a first, and he said, I'm the asshole. Meanwhile, I'm ready to leave and take the kids tonight. I know his reaction was not okay, but was I out of line? What? The fuck? Mm-mm. Wait, it's obviously so easy for me to sit back in my chair right now and tell people to leave their husbands. Because it's obviously way more complicated than that.

But like, leave your husband. Immediately. Take the kids. You can stay at my place. Like, we'll figure it out. Drop the pin. We'll come help you move. Drop the pin. I got you.

What, like, that was so layered of so many weird things. And it's funny because when you stand up for yourself, I feel like. sometimes their reaction really like confirms like oh they have really been fucked up this whole time and I was just giving them the benefit of the doubt. Yes. Have you heard about reactive abuse? Yeah. I've definitely been the victim of it. I feel like I just you hear about it but like I just really learned about it recently and that's what this kind of feels like. It's a form of gaslighting where it's like finally someone reacts and then they're like you're the problem. when they were the person that made you so upset. Was instigating it.

I say, like, don't judge people based on their reaction to trauma. Ooh. Yeah. I don't always say that, but it is, like, how someone reacts to abuse, like, you can't, they're reacting to abuse. Yeah. So you can't, like, weigh it to the abuse. That makes total sense.

And it just, like, I'm sitting here, like, that's so raven tunneling to, like, bunch of moments in my life. I'm like, oh my God. Okay. Like I, yeah. Well, that's what they are good at with reality TV because people are just reacting and they're getting all these reactions and then they decide how they want to put it together. So you don't always see what people are reacting to. So then you could be the one that's considered crazy because they show you reacting to something that was different. But not the abuse that happened before. Exactly. That triggered that reaction. And then you could get bullied for your reaction to the abuse. like you were the bully.

Reality TV is terrifying. So that's, that's like one thing to look out. I actually can't watch it anymore now that I like know how the sausage is made. Yeah. Because it's like, it's like watching a fight but starting in the middle of it and having to decide which side you're on. You ever see that sometimes on like TikTok there'll be a fight and someone's freaking the fuck out and you're like they're crazy. But then you find out that person did something so beyond that you're like, of course she flipped out like that. Like she should have flipped out more.

Exactly. You see the other POV. Yeah. Yes. And I also think like, yes, like the physical stuff in relationships, there has to be boundaries. It could be super scary. But him reacting, I want a divorce immediately. It's like, then go.

Please go. Hi. My hemorrhoids will be less inflamed with you here. Well, he has no boundaries. None. And she finally was like standing up for herself and like people would be like, why don't you tell him? He knows. She's told him multiple times.

Yeah. He knows. And I understand, like, I am guilty. I like annoying my husband. Like, he's very ticklish. And, like, sometimes, like, he'll just, like, his stomach will kind of be out. And I know that he doesn't want me to, but I need to, like, poke him. And I'd be like, like, what'd you do that?

And, like, I try not to. But I think I'm, like, the older sister. Like, I love annoying my little brother. And it's something I'm working on. And, but it's also, like, we end up laughing. But I try to be, like, I get in a silly mood sometimes. I think, like, a little poke, a little foot tickle. A little, like a little boob.

Because he overreacts a lot. So I think it's really funny when he overreacts. He's like, it's not funnier. Like, you know I'm really ticklish. So like hearing this on a smaller scale, I'm like, okay, that's so valid and I should listen to him more. But also, like, it is funny when I barely touch him that he's like, whoa! I know. It's like such a boy.

And I also, I like being like teased and made fun of. So like. But you have to understand that sometimes they don't enjoy it. Yeah. So I've been better. I feel like the difference is like if he seriously was like, I really don't appreciate it. Can you please stop? You would stop. Yeah. And I'm also not sexually assaulting him. That's the thing. Like getting slapped in the privates again and again and again. Like at what point is this a joke? At what point is this funny? Well, yeah, what's the point of it? Because it's clue you're turning her on. And it's embarrassing her. Also, the way she brought up the kids multiple times in this, it makes me feel like she's just a little embarrassed by like. how her husband is acting in front of her children.

This is not a good thing to show your kids. To do this in front of your kids, it's okay to hit your partner in the genitals. Not to go big picture here, but I feel like Am I the Asshole is super powerful because this is the kind of thing that you won't necessarily want to bring up at brunch with your girls. No.

What would you guys do? Like, it's so layered and complicated and embarrassing and weird, but, like, yeah, you're not going to tell your mom or something. So, like, this gives people an outlet to have unbiased opinions to be like, you're not crazy, you should leave your husband. Absolutely.

I'm so happy to exist. When in doubt, leave. At least remove yourself and take a break. Like if you're questioning things, if you feel gaslit, if that person loves you and it's the right person, a couple weeks away for you to clear your head, isn't going to change that.

I'm just really in a place of like life is so short. And like, yes, we all want a beautiful family with a person. perfect home and, you know, a 50-year marriage. But it's like, you know, it's what's worse than not having that being stuck in something that is killing you inside. Dude, the Ballerina Farm stuff that's coming out. Wait, can you explain that? Have you talked about it yet? No, it just dropped, I think the article just dropped like yesterday. So Ballerina Farm is like this big content creator that's like really pursuing the Tradwife content. Oh, yeah. They live. They live.

live out on a farm. They have like eight or ten kids. I'm not really sure. I'm not, I don't engage with the content typically. That keeps coming up. It just keeps coming up. And so it's like they have this farm. They get their own milk and flour and butter and like traditional. She doesn't have a nanny for the eight, 10 kids, however made she's got. Meanwhile, like the husband comes from money. Like, I think his family, like, maybe he's not well off, but like his family owns like an airline. And so just this crazy stuff where it's like, why are you making her suffer? And then so this article came out where she talks about like she wanted to be a ballerina and went to Juilliard. And she was like the only ballerina in modern Juilliard history that got pregnant in undergrad.

And she gave up dancing for this guy and these kids and this life. And she couldn't get an epidural. And like she whispered to the interviewer like, I had to get the epidural when he left the room. Like crazy shit. And so everyone's kind of like. Is he Mormon? What's going on? think they might be. But it was just like this whole thing where it's coming out and they're like,

holy shit, is she okay? It's that, it's honestly reminds me of a bit that's in my special about how I had bad taste in men, but it was never my fault. It was Disney's fault. Yes. But it's the concept of like, we're trained to be like, you're going to want a man that's, you know, he's tall and he is rich and he's a prince and he is the loudest guy in the room and the most masculine. And then you find these guys and they're not always right for you and then you have to battle like everything you've been taught to be like, oh, I need to find a guy who's right for me and who's kind and who loves me, not just the guy who's like the Disney Prince that is supposed to save us, which obviously doesn't work out that way. And could be, that's the problem. When you're with the wrong person,

yeah, it can suck, but it also can like literally ruin your life. Yes. They're your everything. They're the person you bounce ideas off of. You make financial decisions. They can be super controlling. It's a huge decision who you spend the rest of your life with. It really is. And like thinking about choosing the wrong partner, like if I would have been with any of my exes before my fiance, like I would not have this podcast. Being with him is the reason I literally have this show. He bought me the equipment. He taught me how to edit. He encouraged me to do it. Any of those other people that I was with before him would have stomped that little spark out. Like truly. Like I, hearing you say that, I'm like, it's so important to have the right partner around you, the right

friends around you because it can foster or it can squash you. 100%. I'm very like quality over quantity with that stuff because it's so many energies. You're getting all these weird things in your life. But I feel like these horrible relationships can be good because then you realize like, oh, it's so not worth it. I never want that again. Like my worst breakup in my 20s made me finally stop being too. boy crazy and just wanting attention from guys and being like, oh, wait, attention from guys can be really, really bad. Like in the long term, like, this could be four years of therapy, me thinking a guy's hot.

So I'm like, if I'm going to fall for someone, I need to make sure that they're going to be an asset. And not to make it like, oh, I need you benefit me. But it's like, if you're taking away from my life, I can't. Like, I don't care how blue your eyes are or whatever you're into, you know. I love that. I just, I hope that resonates with people because it's like, Life again is too short to be with the wrong person.

Yeah. And this lady needs to run. And I feel like there's a lot of smart, powerful people that listen to this pod. I mean, obviously, because they like strong opinions. And there's a lot of like, oh, if you're a strong woman, it's really hard to find a guy. And like, I was able to find a guy who like, even with all like my Netflix special coming out. I know. Like he's been so, he's so proud.

And he also was so helpful in a lot of like critical decisions. He was the one who told me like, wait, eight. months before you put it out so you can tour more and make it even better. Like he's just looking out for me and just it's nice to have just a partner that cares about you as much as you care about you. Which like to find that I do think is so rare because he's also in comedy. He does the same thing. So to not be threatened by your success or to take what you're having and like take it personally like oh well why are not getting the Netflix special. No, no, no. I'm going to support my partner. I'm going to foster that. I'm going to encourage that. Like it shouldn't be.

as rare as it feels like it is. I know and I do think it is a timing thing like for example because he's older like he's had these moments for himself already so he almost loves being able to like hold my hand sometimes and be like hey don't make this mistake that I made and it's this nice like I don't know if we met if when we both were 30 like coming up we might have like had but heads so it's like just trusting the universe to like put you with the right people at the right time I love that you can't force it. No. I love that. I love all the jokes. And then leave when he pisses you on. I love all the jokes about him in the Netflix special. It's so funny. When I got Fallon, like, you have to do clean material. And one of my favorite clean bits was this story about him,

like, the restaurant one, him having a heart, thinking he had a heart attack and I didn't want to call an ambulance, which is like so fucked up, but hilarious. But I was like, it's just not the scene. And he could have been like, don't do that on Fallon. And I would have been fucked. Like, I wouldn't have had material for it. Yeah. And he was like, go for it. Like, this is hilarious and make fun of me. And I was like, oh. I love you. I love you. Thank you for letting me make fun of you on national TV. Oh my God. I love that. He just embraces it. Yeah. And I know, and I'm excited for like when he'll be on Fallon one day making fun of me. It's going to be so good. We're freaky. That's how we, that's how we flirt. Top comment on this one. You should give him that divorce. For your own sake,

Not the asshole, but your husband is 10,000% the asshole. Leave that abusive fuck. Yeah. O.P. responds, thank you. I told him I don't need him and I'll be just fine on my own. He doesn't think so. So I guess we will find out that he has been really lucky to have me. Ooh, now I really feel we write at Don vibes because he basically said, I don't believe in you.

And she's about to do one of those girl things where like she's about to like get a degree at Harvard or like she's going to like, like get a whole like makeover and like feel so hot and like start her passion like she's about to like level up the out of spite pop off oh I love a girl leveling up after a relationship that she realized was weighing her down like she was doing you a favor truly like you were charity work and you disrespected a queen and she's going to go show you now it's so funny the the like crazy leveling up that girls do I didn't even know you don't even know it's possible and you're like, wow, that man was making you tired. I love when a guy does it too.

Like when you know there's like a woman who's just like taking advantage of a guy and then he does the flip and he's like, no, no, no. Like I'm going to actually get with the nice girl, not the mean girl, not the pick me. Well, they seem lighter. Like everything about everything. Everything. You ever see someone after getting out of a relationship and you're like, who are you? The glow.

The glow. Like after they're over that initial like the glow that people get. It's so amazing to see. And it's so. scary, but like there's light at the other side. I know. We have an update on this one. Wow. I am so overwhelmed with all of the encouragement and kind posts. I had a few not so friendly ones and I wish you'd refrain from making me feel worse by saying hurtful stuff. Unfortunately, this is true and I don't make it up. I do feel the need to clarify a few things since I seem to

have not chosen the best wording in my hasty post yesterday. One, he has not been doing this for a year. This started a couple of weeks ago. We both work from home and our home 24-7. Two, no, I do not walk around naked. He's poking my butt through my clothes, so not penetrating, but it hurts, and he knows that. Three, my children are safe, as am I. I did call police last night and had him removed from the home. I've started to talk to a lawyer and will move things along as needed. Four, my husband did call today, and I had shut my phone off for a while, hence the late update. But he, of course, is apologizing, and doesn't want to divorce. He offered counseling, so we will look into that.

I don't know how I feel just yet about trying to make this work, but we will see. Thank you again for reaching out. I haven't been able to reply to everyone, but I will try. Wow. Wow. I mean, she definitely doesn't need to make a hasty move, but I'm really proud of her for clearly putting her foot down. Yeah.

And it's weird to me, like, yeah, they're working at home together, but like what came over him that these last couple weeks he started doing that and what had he been doing before that was similar or like was it is he now a new guy in the last couple weeks it is quite strange because yeah i wonder what was like the gateway to this like slapping like did this start with the poke yeah it was a little tickle this is quite odd yeah quite odd yeah and very concerning interesting but i think she's on the right path to figure out what's best for her her. I think so. Seems like she's getting a lot of support in the comments. She's obviously like she says, I feel embarrassed. I feel like a complete idiot. Like talking about her kids, my boys are all young,

but they'll definitely be told it's never okay to hit anyone. I think she's also feeling embarrassed about the reaction. But I think like there is something to be said about the reactive abuse. And like, it's kind of like when you get pushed and pushed and pushed, what do you do? It's not okay. that, you know, she reacted and hit him. But then again, like he after punched her in the stomach. Like, they're both just at points of like clearly not good. This is toxic. This is unhealthy. Something needs to happen here. Drop the pin. Divine intervention. I don't know. Yep. But moving along. Moving along. If you haven't watched Hannah's special yet, what are you doing? What are you doing? We're sitting here. We went like way off tangent in between stories.

And I'm just like, I'm here just like talking about how much I love this special. No, like having like cool girls like you love it is all I wanted. It's so good. I'm going to go watch it again. And you're so right about Beast. He's so hot. The Beast is hot. So hot.

I say that he looks like Travis Kelsey. Why do I see it now? They're just big and burly and they have a good like furry. Why do I see it now? How do I see it? I want to pick you up. Occasionally get mad. Literally, I see it.

Okay, this next one. It's coming from AITH seven days old. It is titled, Am I the asshole for rejecting my friend's request to have an open relationship with my husband? I, 30 female, have been married to my husband, 32 male for five years. We have two beautiful kids.

Five male. What's that math? I'm like, how long have you been married? I'm like, wait, how old are these kids? Okay, got it now. We have two beautiful kids, five male and six female, and have a very strong relationship and are happy together. Recently, my friend, Lisa, 29 female, confided in me that she has developed feelings for my husband. She said that she finds him attractive and admires our relationship, and she asked if we would consider having an open relationship so she could be with him too.

I was shocked and told her no, explaining that my husband and I are committed to each other and that we are not interested in an open relationship. Lisa got upset and accused me of being selfish and close-minded. Wait, what? What the fuck is going on? Are we taking crazy pills right now? She argued that modern relationships should be flexible, that I was denying her happy. Since then, Lisa has been distant and has been spreading rumors in our friend group, suggesting that I am overly possessive and controlling. This has caused a lot of tension, and some of our mutual friends are now taking sides.

My husband is supportive of my decision, but I feel guilty for the drama it has caused. So, am I the asshole for rejecting my friend's request to have an open relationship with my husband? This is so fucking layered. Also, I wanted to know more about the husband Because all she said was he supports the decision I'm like, what was his role in this maybe? Are they flirting in the background? Did he tell her to ask?

Ooh. But also, I don't want to put it on him. Maybe. But also, where did you meet Lisa? This is her thing. Has she been fucking everyone's husband? Ooh. And why are people picking sides?

Like, are, is Lisa in your relationship, too, to where you're like, oh, I get it. It's just Lisa. You know, she's really fun. Like, what do you mean you're picking sides? She called someone selfish for not wanting to share their husband? Also, there's a thing where, like, if there was miscommunication, she was spreading lies, that's when you do, like, we need to do a group Zoom or, like, we need to sit down and have, like, a tell all of what's actually going on just to make sure. Like, a CNN. We need to do.

do a C-net, whatever, like get all the, get a government, whatever people do, speaker of the house situation, and be like, this is what was asked, this is what I said, how is are people taking sides on this? I'm so confused. Yeah, what? Also, what if Lisa just, like, likes the idea of someone's husband and, like, likes that he's unattainable? And then the second you open up the marriage, you fucking don't like him and you ruined someone's marriage. I don't get it.

I'm like, you don't really know him. You don't know him. What you see is not him and being in a relationship with him. And also, like, once you cross that little line with your friends, there's no going back. And here's what worries me sometimes. And even like with just a casual threesome and all this, what if they like it better than what you had? But you're married.

So, like, then you're getting divorced. Well, and you're the one with the kids and, like, he gets excited. of like a new fresh thing. This is so I'm not about it. It's one thing if she brought it up, she wants the spice of her marriage. But this is the kind of thing that if you find yourself having also crushes are so weird. Like I can make myself have a crush on a plant. Like if I like, if I'm going through something, I need to like, you project stuff onto anything. Yeah. Like talk to your therapist about this. Keep it to yourself. What happened to just like not saying every, I mean, I say everything that comes into my head, but like, don't.

You shouldn't. You can have secrets. Have a secret. It's okay to, you know, have a little secret. You can have a crush on someone. I like if people are like, think my husband's hot. Like, that's fun. Don't attack me for not letting you fuck my husband.

I'm like, isn't that why people get married so they don't have to share ever again? Literally. So you don't have to be dating again when you have a full family. And that's selfish? She is like a little gaslighting queen, that Lisa. I wonder if her name's really Lisa. I wonder if she outed her like that. Top comment, not the asshole.

Tell the friends that are on her side to let her fuck their husbands. Oh my God, iconic. Iconic. Let's have a party. Oh my God, that's a good line. That's great. Next comment down. Seriously do this.

You are 100% in the right here. Your ex-friend is so self-absorbed that it's beggars belief? That it beggars belief? Oh, I've never heard that before. It beggars belief. Beggers belief. Okay. Lisa acting like they owe her sex.

No is a full answer. That's another thing. What if the husband isn't even like in her or attracted to her or like? That's why I wanted some more info from the husband. Like I wanted the husband to be like, well, that's no. And like I would never and like tell her stop. Like why are friends even being like, yeah, give her a chance with your husband? Like that's so weird to me.

Like maybe they're having an affair. God. Maybe they've been having it. I mean, I'm just. And this was trying to like. And this was her trying to make it more acceptable. Basically the husband's like, I'm not going to leave my woman for you. So she's trying to open up the marriage.

And some people. Look, I don't know. Also, I like making up that all these people are the same. Like I pretend that this is Lisa is the girl who also announced her pregnancy at the marriage at the wedding and she's pregnant with this her husband's head. The Too Hot Takes Multiverse. It's all connected and interwoven. It's all connected. It's like a bunch of Sims characters. It really is. That's how I look at them. I'm like, I just remember these are all my little kids. We do have an update. After reading some of your comments, I decided to

bring the group out for coffee and told them all about what Lisa said and the real story. I also showed them the Reddit post. After showing them, There were two girls that were still on Lisa's side. So I took some advice from the comments and said, quote, let Lisa fuck your husband. Then you can be on her side. After that, everyone was on my side, thankfully. Also, don't be friends with those girls anymore.

No, still. Let's not. You have the post. You have what Lisa said and you're still going to be like, yeah, that's fine. Lisa should be able to fuck your husband. Yeah. That's fine.

Lisa wasn't happy. at all, and she started ranting about how it, quote, wasn't fair. She, quote, just wanted to experiment something new, and it wasn't even that bad of a request. You're making it such a big deal, which I didn't get. Me and the rest of the group have officially cut contact with Lisa, just hoping she doesn't try to reach out. We'll update if something happens. Also, just clarifying, that Lisa also asked my husband for an open marriage. He also rejected it saying that, quote, even if I was, I would never want to go out with you.

Okay, so what is the argument here? It's almost like she's trying to ruin all her friendships and she's like, what's the worst thing I could do? Let's go up to one of my friends and get mad at her for not letting me fuck her husband. Some kind of weird self-sabotaging maybe. Also, the husband like ate with that line. even if she was open to it, I wouldn't want to be with you.

Ooh, good job. Good job. Slay. Go off, King. Wow. I would be embarrassed if I was this woman. I would tail between my legs go hide in a hole. And she's doubling down?

I know that, like, in Utah, they were like, remember all the Mormons were, like, hooking up with each other's husbands that it got kind of weird and crazy. Yeah. But this doesn't sound like that group. No. It's also giving, like, there are other men in the world. How small is your community that you feel like he's the only freaky moment you can have?

There's so many other ways. Oh, Craigslist. Have you looked at that? Let's Meet, like thing Craigslist has? No, is it new or is it? No, I think it's been around for a while. Oh. But it's literally that.

It's like, looking for... Big husky man looking for petite, busty blonde. And I'm like, whoa. Big boss de blonde. I'm like, okay. Like if this actually works, like, I know like foot fetish stuff like does really well there. Are you on wiki feet? I actually am.

I actually am and I found out because Michael Blaustein from a, does he have a foot fetish? Stiff socks is obsessed with feet and we looked it up. He told me I had a nice arch and then my head got big and I started to get cocky. And then I was like, well, now we know what I can do. Hannah, your feet are on here a lot. Wait, really? They're...

Because I haven't looked in like a year or two years. What's my rating? Look at your feet. Okay, see, that was fucked up of me. And that was years ago. That was like five years ago before I knew that that was like a thing. Hannah was like knowingly giving the feet people exactly what they wanted. But that was before people knew that...

Look at the bottoms of those feet. That's where he said I have a nice arch. Wow. You were really serving on the feet. I hate to say it, but that that, that, first guy would be like that's the kind of loaf of foot. They have your shoe size on here. They have it wrong probably. What do they have?

Nine. Now I'm an eight. Edit. Don't believe anything you see online. You have one of the highest ratings I think I've seen. You almost have full five stars. This is my thing. How do I monetize this?

You literally start posting just feet on OnlyFans or Patreon. What people don't realize is. I have tennis feet where like I've lost my nails so many times. Like I do not. And I also have like hairy toes. Like there's, I have a hairy top. Some people would pay extra for that. I like your thinking.

Yeah. There's a market for everything. There's a market for everything. So yeah. Who would pay extra for Hannah's hairy toe? Yeah. I also have hair on the top of my foot too. Sometimes I shave it, but I don't have to shave it if you don't want me to.

Look. She'll offer options, all a cart experience. So about people like one day you might get a Netflix special. and be able to sell your footpicks still. I'm like so... Dream bag. Yeah. I mean, look at this one of you and Paige and your feet just primed.

Look at those little toes. Look at the toe bend. It's so funny because when you don't know about foot fetishes, you're not like, oh, that's my feet primed. That's just me in a bathing suit. I mean, yeah, I never would have... I don't know. I never would have thought like, oh, this pictures better. Do you think differently you meet me now?

That you know that I have a 4.9 on Wiki feet? Well, I just gave you five, too. So hopefully it ups the average. Yeah, I rated. I rated. I gave you a five-star beautiful feat. Do you know that if you search in the podcast app Harry Italians, Giggly Squad comes up? Oh my God. I don't know why, maybe because we've called ourselves Harry Italians so many times the algorithm finds us. But that's insane. That's some SEO like optimization.

Because we don't even have an episode that's titled it. It's very weird. That's wild. I just looked up someone like you've worked with. recently Miss Haley Bieber. And I was like, let me see where your feet compare to hers. She has five stars as well. You're like neck and neck. We're neck and neck. You're neck and neck. Come up for your throat? I've never been on

Wiki feet before in my entire life. Are you on it? I don't think you need a search. I don't, there's no way. I think you need to search. There's no way. No results. Well, someone listening's about to start. No results. I don't post my feet. I literally have a saying no free feet picks. But I feel like five years ago, that wasn't like a thing.

I don't know. People weren't as aware. I don't think you could find one footpick on my. But they say people on Snapchat just post their feet to like get engagement. That's a tactic. I mean, do what you got to do, I guess. I feel like every girl should at least be making side money from their feet. Like that should just be like a thing.

Why not? Why not? Why not? What's the harm? Use what God gave you. I know. I would be so down for like my fiancee having an only fan. posting milk bath pictures. I'd be cool with it. What's milk bath? Oh my God. So you fill up your bath with water and then add milk and it makes it cloudy and people will take like very sexually

artistic. It doesn't always have to be sexual. It can be very just tasteful and artistic. But like you can't see anything really. Yeah. Only what you pop up above the water. Yes. Wait, is that like a thing on only fans? I don't know. But I thought I thought there was a market for it. And so I was always like, I'd be down with you doing that. I love that our algorithm. rhythms are so different. Like a lot of people do it for maternity shoots, I will say. Oh, milk bath. Okay.

But imagine just like a dude in a tub and just popping up above the surface is, that could sell. I mean, my husband could definitely have a Zaddy only fans. There's definitely a market for it. I think so. For sure. He just tells you old stories and takes Advil. The Silver Fox. That could be the name.

The Silver Fox. The Silver Fox. He just complains. about his lower back. Just talking about his physical therapy. Talks about the 80s. Oh my God. He was around during that time?

Oh, yeah. Just goes his prime. No, I actually feel like your age gap. Like, you make it seem so healthy because I'm usually not a fan. I think I've told you that. Yeah. And you just like, your relationship is so cute. Like the whole COVID start and your lockdown.

And then like you got engaged within six months. Yeah. Because honestly, my parents. So it was kind of my lovester in my head. But I do have to say age gaps, I think not good in your 20s. Like when you're in your 20s, your brain is forming still. You're not making a lot of money. You're figuring out yourself.

You can get taken advantage of. That. It's just the power imbalance. It's the power imbalance. I don't fuck with. That's why I love, like, if you're in your 30s, you're single, go for these older guys because you're actually like on a similar wavelength as them. That's like with age gaps.

It's not the age itself. It's the power imbalance that typically will accompany it. And I was financially independent when I met him. I knew what I wanted to do. Thriving. And I knew what kind of guys I liked. So I literally say, like, I'll do my jokes at colleges and I'll be like, this is not for girls who are 20.

Deal with men your own age. You don't know what's going on either. Like fingering you and it feels horrible. Just keep doing that until you're ready to graduate. Find Bucky the mascot, you know? Make some stories. Make some stories. Yeah.

Ride around on those athletes. scooters. We read it done. Oh my God. Look at you. Just the big sis advice everyone needs. Well, there isn't an update on this one past the dinner, past the coffee with friends, which I love that you were like, get everyone together. Do the tell-all. Yeah. Do a tell-all. Do a reunion. She does have something in the comments that she has been considering cutting off those two that agreed with Lisa for a while. So. Yeah, that's weird to me. I think they're on their way. way out. I think they're on their way out. I want to know what Lisa's up to right now. Trying to find someone else's husband. Yeah. Yeah. There's so many people out there. So many people. Find your own. You don't need to double up. Find your own. Or find a community that's

into that stuff. There's those out there too. Yeah. I've always wondered about the naked cults. Same. It'd be a hard bit to commit to. But I feel like it's one of those things that you just get so used to. Like at first you're like, oh my God, there's schlongs being thrown around. And then four days in, you're just like, I don't care. Just you go a little blind to it. Yeah. Like nose blind almost. Yeah. Eyebrow blind. Yes. I'm like, I started getting really worried about my eyebrows after that. Oh my God. No, you've great eyebrows. They're microbladed. That helps. They look great. I need to get him touched up. Enough about me. I don't like attention. I'm like, I'm the opposite. I'm like, give Hannah all the

attention. I don't want. it. No. Oh my God. Okay. This one is fresh. This next one is only a day old coming from Am I the Asshole titled Am I the Asshole for getting into an argument with my husband because he left me during surgery. Uh-huh. What kind of surgery? I have follow-up questions. I am a 25-year-old female and my husband, 27, and I've been together for almost four years. We do not have any kids together. I had a same day lumpectomy surgery yesterday. The tumor is not believed to be malignant,

but I wanted it out since my mother had breast cancer. My husband got the day off work and drove me. The surgery was delayed for about three hours, and my husband was getting impatient. The surgeon finally came in and said she expected the surgery would take about an hour. After she left, my husband said he was going to leave the hospital to get lunch when I went under since he hadn't eaten that day. I wanted him to be able to eat and was trying to be brave, but I really didn't want to be left when the surgery was only supposed to be an hour. So I asked him

if we could pick him up food on the way home. He gave me the impression that he would stay, and I was then wheeled away. Fast forward to 30 minutes later, I was being shaken awake by a nurse who told me I was sick, and she was trying to get in touch with my husband. Apparently, during the surgery, my blood pressure dropped rapidly, and my surgeon was able to get the tumor out in 20 minutes. But my BP was 70 over 30 by the time they got it out, and my lips had turned blue. I was very sick in my room. I was bleeding through my internal stitches, coming in and out of consciousness, and was vomiting. All the while, my nurse was trying to track down my husband. My surgeon called him, but he did not even answer her.

I'm very thankful for the sweet nurses who took care of me and reassured me. It is the next day now, and I'm very emotional and angry about the whole ordeal. My husband did not apologize and has been incredibly defensive about the whole thing. His explanation for leaving was, quote, I went out and got lunch, and then I was getting gas because I was low from driving your ass around. The surgery was supposed to be an hour. How was I supposed to know your heart could have stopped? I told him he had one job, which was to stay with me and tell me what the surgeon said.

I could get over him leaving if he was apologetic or remorseful, but I'm shocked at his words slash how little he seems to care for someone he claims to love. In his defense, he cared for me last night when we got home, but left today after we argued. I'm sure I'm just still really emotional from anesthesia and I'm being a bit dramatic, but I can't even look at him the same. He is usually a tentative and caring, so I'm pretty baffled. I'm sure he thought the chances of anything going wrong were slim, but I can't understand his thought process.

I sat for hours and hours in waiting rooms during all of my mom's breast cancer procedures and was nervous to even leave for a minute to get food. God forbid, I don't have cancer because I don't trust him with anything medical now. Anyways, I'm unsure what I hope to get from writing this to strangers. I just needed to vent. Am I the asshole? Wow, wow, wow, wow. I mean, obviously, this man did not knowingly leave her when she was, you know, sick. Yeah.

But it was obviously always a possibility. Always. It's kind of giving like he immediately got defensive instead of like this is one of those relationship moments where sometimes they'll get mad at you. and you really didn't mean it. And that's the moment when you say, like, you don't say, well, I didn't do it on purpose. So I'm not apologizing. That's what you literally say, I'm fucking sorry.

And you learn from it. Like, this is one of those weird, just, like, annoying things where she literally said, if he just said sorry and learned and realized he fucked up, we can move on. Yeah. It's super annoying and scary. It's really scary. And I think you're right. Like, it does happen so often where people are just unwilling.

to fall on their sword. And it doesn't have to be a sword. It could be like you slept on a pebble one night. Like it's just, I'm sorry. Like, I'm sorry. In the beginning, like of some relationships I've had guys like say something that hurt my feelings. And I'd be like, I just want you to say sorry because it upset me. And they're like, well, I wasn't trying to upset you.

So I'm not going to say sorry. It doesn't matter if you were trying or not. You're like, I just want to move on knowing that you understood what happened. So it won't happen again. Yes. And like also it's. it's about like it hurt me regardless if you were trying to or not and aren't you sorry that I was hurt I feel like a lot of times people like they they overthink an apology yeah they overthink it

I love apologizing I throw it around left and right I mean if it's just fucking up left and right we all are we're human you're gonna make mistakes you're gonna treat someone poorly you're gonna be perceived a certain way yes and like you you can't control that I would look at like an apology more so as like that person just wants to know you were listening and you heard them. Yes. You recognize that they were hurt. It doesn't mean you're getting in trouble. It doesn't mean you're going to jail. Like it's literally just an acknowledgement of I understood how it affected you. You're not a bad person. No. You're not whatever. Insert, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. It's just you recognize them. You see them. You hear them. And you're going to make a more conscious effort to not do it

again. You're so right about that. Because you're all it is. That's all it is. sorry is not this like admission of guilt to being a bad person. No. It's an acknowledgement of their feelings and how whatever you did hurt them, which you obviously don't want. It's basically being like, I don't want to hurt you. That's all it is.

And I'm going to work on making sure that doesn't happen again. Yes. I'm so, like, I so much would rather someone say sorry in like any situation I can move forward. Absolutely. If you don't say sorry, you just don't know if they even knew what they did wrong.

Exactly. But on the flip side of that, you need to be able to communicate your feelings and why you're upset. Because otherwise, that's unfair to the other person. True. People aren't psychics. True. You have to, like, it's a two-way street. She's clearly.

She's doing that. And I'm annoyed with, like, she was like, can you please just stay? Like, just stay. So you're here. Like, hospitals have cafeterias, dude. If you're hungry, go to there. You get a snack. There's many machines.

Bring snacks. Like, plan ahead. Like, but then to be like, okay. I'm not going to leave. And then you still leave. I hate when people lie or like think like, oh, she's not going to know. She's going to be under. She'll be none the wiser. I hate that. Then you have people calling your phone. Like clearly something is going on. Why aren't you answering? You're not answering the nurse. You're not answering the surgeon. You're getting multiple phone calls. Why aren't you answering? Well, this is also, I wonder about him. Like has something happened to him where he doesn't like being in a caretaking role because of something like this is again like some trauma.

Yeah. Maybe he has. Maybe he has. It's like this is. This is. This is. a marriage and I don't think it's as simple as like he doesn't go fuck about you. Like let's delve in to like why this happens a little. But I also don't like that like two days later they get in a fight and he left her. Like I don't like the whole leaving. No. Like yeah

go upstairs maybe breathe some air like take a moment. Don't leave her. No. And like what if she is sick? Yeah. Like I get having like medical trauma and like you stuff like that makes you anxious and so you messed up. You left. Now

you feel guilty, you're embarrassed, or you're not admitting, you're, you know, you're not apologizing. But at the same time, like, where do you go from here? What if she is sick? What if she has to do something else in the future? What happens when you guys, you know, if you have kids? How are you going to react in that situation? It's like, you need to nip this in the bud now. I do also, she said, like, in the past, he's been good at caretaking.

So that's also weird. I feel like some people have different love languages. Like, I know, like, my brother. like wasn't that good of care taking and then like his wife was having migraines and she had to kind teach him like what she needs yeah because he's like do you want me like there do you want me not there and she was like once I told him what to do he was great but so it's like maybe this guy didn't realize that while she was under he needed to be there like some guys are very like too logical yeah where they're like you're literally you're under like I can go get food

and I'm not going to apologize because of this freak accident. It sounds like he's just being stubborn and he needs to fucking say sorry. Yeah. And I do think it's like, O.P. being like, oh, can't we just get food on the way home? Like, I understand why he didn't want to do that

because in my head, I'm like, well, you have surgery for an hour, then you're in post-op, you're recovering, blah, blah, blah. Like, you're not leaving for another three hours. When I'm hungry, I got to eat. Like, I'm a hangary. I'm just going way with that. So I get that, but cafeteria at the hospital, door dash, call a friend to bring you a sandwich, I don't know.

It's also like, I'm trying to think like if I was in his position and I did leave, like, that is, it's such bad luck. And that's when you literally have to like look at the person and be like, that was so fucked up of me. I'm such an asshole and I'm so sorry. And like I learned now like I'm not fucking with like leaving you ever again. Yeah. And that would help so much in the situation. It's all it would be. That's literally all it would be.

I was an asshole is like so healing. I think for both people. Yeah. Seriously. If you can get the other person that was an asshole to like actually do that. Why is it so hard? It wasn't on purpose. No.

I mean, yeah, he was like a little lying and he was being annoying. But like you ended up being more of an asshole than you anticipated because of bad luck. Yeah. And just own it. You got to own it. Top comment on this one. I think we know we're. it's going to go, right? Not the asshole. I'm really sorry you went through that and he's not being

supportive. Did he actually say, quote, from driving your ass around? That's incredibly insensitive. O.P. responds, he did. That was the comment that really turned into an argument. It's also hard because things get emotional. I know. And then like he just probably was, he was probably really frustrated. But again, don't get mad at her because that happened and you didn't anticipate it. I mean, it's just like, I don't know why he feels the need to sluff off all these excuses. Like, well, I needed to get food. And then I had to stop and get gas. Those are both two things that still don't excuse you not answering your phone. Exactly. Exactly. Where was your phone? What were you actually doing? Because I don't think you were just getting gas and food.

Or he was like, I'm not answering these. calls, which is weirder. Your wife is in an operating room and you don't answer a phone call? Likely showing up caller ID, blah, blah, blah hospital. Yeah. Those iPhones are smart. They know when a spam is calling. Yeah.

It's true. What was he doing? I look at these conspiracy theories were started. Is he with Lisa? I think he is with Lisa. Lisa found a husband to see. He's with Lisa. But again, this also could just be like learning how to fight better where like he doesn't

get super defensive because she was pissed off. Yeah. Like let your person's going to get pissed off sometimes. Yeah. And it doesn't always mean they hate you. They just need you to hear them and to apologize. I know. It's okay to pop the lid here and then. But it's like how do you come back from it after? And if you can't connect and communicate. And it's also that weird like pre-kid time. Yeah. Yeah. You're kind of keeping an eye on your man to be like, is he capable of like? Is he capable of like being there for the family. So I think it's like it was extra hurtful to her to be like, you're going to be the father of my children and you left me for dead. Essentially. Literally left me for dead. Essentially, I mean a blood pressure, 70 over 30. So scary. That's that's borderline.

Like you're going, you're going down cardiac arrest. But and when you were saying that I was like, oh my God, he's going to be so upset. Like he's going to be so apologetic. So it's really it's less him going to get food because I am a crazy food person like that too it's more the after effect of how he dealt with it that's the thing just fall on the sword friends it's okay

it won't kill you I promise someone else goes that's honestly awful also does the hospital not have a cafe someone responds oh it does you see this event wasn't about him

it was supposed to be about O.P so he made it about him by ditching and then talking down to his wife. I saw my father do the same to my mother. He called it a waste of time to be at the hospital during her mastectomy. Unfortunately, they're still married, and it's so obvious how much they hate each other. O.P., you are not the asshole. Take a hard look at your relationship.

This is how it will be. He won't change. He will actually get worse. I'm not sure anyone deserves to be so unhappy. Wow. Wow. Because they just made it bigger. of like this is who the dude is.

And it's about making about yourself. Yeah. It was him basically being like you're not that important. Like my hunger is way more important than like anything that could happen to you. Yeah. And I think you do like you have such a good point about this is kind of a trial period in life like before kids and making sure your partner's capable. Because someone does say the next comment down and take a hard look at your relationship before you decide to have kids if you think that's in your future. And there is something so scary and vulnerable when you're in that position in a hospital.

I remember I got my appendix, like, was appendicitis. Oh, yeah. And my parents drove me when I first started dating my husband. And it was during COVID. So they literally, like, just had to drop me off. Yeah. And I was just lying there. No one knew what it was.

They were giving me, like, Advil. And I was like, no, this is really bad. Holy shit. And my husband at the time was calling me. and he like drove and just sat in the parking lot for like a couple hours. Stop. Why am I going to cry? And I think he's also, he was good at like dealing with like he and people. I'm literally like what the fuck, Hannah.

That's, you got a good one. Oh my God. No, but that's why I was like, I'm marrying this man. I see what you got engaged in six months. That was like two months in. And I like wasn't responding because I was just lying there with my phone. He was just like with my parents scared. But it's those moments that like you can you can see how much people care.

That's the thing. Like when people show up in times of need like ride or die forever. Like truly. And it's like this was his moment. This was this was a moment. You don't know if it's not cancerous yet. You don't know. And you know it's so fucking fucked up.

I do a joke on stage. Oh God. Okay. I'm ready. I'm ready. Yeah. This is how he needs to transition. I wouldn't even call an ambulance on him when he thought he was having a heart attack.

But I did a joke on stage about how he went to Aspen for the first time. And he was skiing. And I didn't want to ski. And I wanted to get lunch when he was done skiing. And he calls me and he's like, we can't go to lunch. Like, I'm at the hospital. I think I tore my ACL. Oh.

So I went and got lunch. Are you him? I am that man. No, but he basically was like being really tough about it. And we also joked. You're like, no one feels bad for you because you hurt yourself skiing in Aspen when you literally shouldn't have been doing like the hardest whatever. He's going down black diamonds. He literally took like a video.

Like I'm about to go down. He had a hike up something crazy. Like he was being wild. Okay. So I didn't feel. I felt really bad, but I also was annoyed at him. You ruined lunch. But he also was like, hey, like it's, I'm okay.

Like there's a lot of stuff going on. So like I got us two burritos. Oh. And I brought it. But then when you go and you see your person like. He had a neck brace on and I joke that I got the egg from it. Oh, my God. I really, you like have a different, like, you're literally like, oh my God, I'm so scared with him.

So, yeah, these traumatic moments, I feel like can really make or break relationships. Like, you either realize how much you care about someone or you're like, wait, I'm leaving them for dead. Yeah. Well, and they're so young, too. She's 25. Oh, my gosh. Again, I don't love getting married before your brain's fully formed. it works out a lot of the time, but it's a risk. How old were you when you got married?

I think 30. 31. I feel like that's kind of young for my friends in New York. That's the thing about like here too. Like I'm planning for a 2025 wedding. By that point, I'll be 31. And like I will be like, my friends that are in Minnesota, they're kind of like, it's different. They're still in the Midwest. You do get married. You know, your 20s there. I'm the only one of my friend group is married. And that will be me here. I'll be the only one in L.A. that's married here. So it's like, it's, it's so interesting. Like, geography can, like, impact stuff like that. Yeah. And your perspective of what's right time. But I have a friend in Minnesota that, like, she was divorced by 30. And I think there's something to that. Perfect. No, I think, I think there is because you get that, like, fear out of the

way, that fear of, like, starting over, that fear of abandonment, that fear of, like, that sunk and cost fallacy where you're like, well, we've been together since we were 19 and in high school and like, this is, this is my person. No, no, no. This is not your person. It's okay to check out and move on. No, divorce is so powerful. And also like, even for people who are older, there's a whole wave of divorcees in their late 30s and 40s that you find, or someone could be really right for you when you're 22. Yeah. And they're not right for you when you've both evolved and changed. People grow. People grow.

People grow. And sometimes they grow together and sometimes they don't. And that's not your fault. That's not your fault. It's not your fault. But this man, I'm out at him. I hope. I hope the food was worth it.

I hope the sandwich was worth it. I think the sandwich was someone else. I think he went to lunch with someone else. I don't think he was doing what he said he was. And that is just my gut. I don't know what it is. Well, yeah, because it's such a weird behavior. There's no way you don't answer your phone unless you're

doing something that you're really not supposed to be doing. Lunch and gas, that's excusable. But like, this is something else is fishy. And then to like stick to the argument that he didn't do anything wrong, maybe there is something deeper. I think so. I really think so. I love when we enable each other to be like, yep, he is having 10 affairs right now.

Okay. I just Googled, well, not Googled. Command F, where you can like search the page. Yeah. And I did cheat just to see if anyone else. is on the same page with us. Someone goes, hate to say it, but this is immediately where my mind ran to, cheating. Even if he'd gone down the block to a restaurant and sat there to eat, he knew his wife was in surgery. Keep the phone on the table and see if you get a call. Yeah. Stopping to get gas

too? Well, take the phone with you outside while you're waiting at the pump. See an unknown number during a time like this? Common sense says it's the hospital. The hospital could have been calling to say anything. And he did not pick up the phone. fucking phone. He's cheating. I think something's going on here. Yeah, because it's given like addict behavior where it's like you don't do things you would normally do to like get something else. Yeah. Like what was he chasing? Something's going on. O.P. has since deleted her account. Like can't look at comments from O.P. Can't look for anything. Accounts deleted. What do you think that means? I think she's getting answers. Like,

like, I think maybe like with the cheating stuff coming up, maybe it's just like, okay, this is too much. Like, I'm overwhelmed, delete. But I think this is someone who I think will have a wake up call from this post. Wow. Especially having a mom that went through breast cancer. Yeah. And at 25 is getting a lumpectomy. Yeah.

Breast cancer has a genetic connection. Like, yeah. This was a glimpse. This was a speeding ticket. It's not, you know, a full. full tire spike, you're locked up. Like, you're getting off with a warning is what I'm trying to say. Like, take it.

Take it. Don't look that gift horse in the mouth. No. No. You take it and you ride down the road on that little pony. You go. You wanted to bring up ponies. Anytime I can.

Anytime. Okay. This next one, something else is going on here too. It is 23 hours old coming from AIT-A-H titled, Am I the asshole for breaking up with my girlfriend? After she set up cameras in our apartment, quote, in case I abuse her. What? I need help.

I'm a 25-year-old male and my ex-girlfriend is 24-year-old female. We were together for three years and marriage was definitely in our future. Basically, my ex always loved true crime, but she was getting really into domestic violent true crime. She had been down the DV rabbit hole for about four to six months, I want to say, before she really started acting weird with me. She didn't want me to have her location, which we mutually had for safety purposes. She was telling her mom, sister, and friends, everything I did. She was being skittish around me, kept a diary when she had never had one before, and would basically just be overly cautious around me. I'm not too sure how to describe.

it. You could just see that she was being weird. Even at gatherings, my family asked me if we were fighting because she seemed overly cautious around me and was only sticking with the women. It was really starting to get to me, but I didn't want her suspicions to be right, so I didn't do anything about it. She had told me that as a man, I have to understand. That DV happens all the time. Even perfect men suddenly end up abusers, and that I was no different. It really, really got to me. All I could think then and even now is that I'm nothing like those men. I get that it could be anyone, but seriously, I don't even kill bugs. I take them outside. She had never even been in an abusive relationship either. This behavior was so unlike her,

but I felt like there was nothing I could do because of her position. If I reacted badly, she would be right, and I know I'm not an abuser, so I just took it. We had been together for three entire years and she really thought I would suddenly do something to her? I've never even raised my voice at her, and I came from a broken home with DV. She knows that. I would never treat a woman or child, man, or animal that way. A few days ago, she put up cameras, and I noticed pretty quickly, because she didn't hide them well. When I confronted her, she told me it was for her safety and peace of mind. And that if I wanted them gone, I don't care about her safety. then. I got really fucking angry, but I got this moment of clarity all of a sudden. It was like all

of the anger left my body as quick as it came, and I understood. All these months hit me like a train, and I was over at all. I didn't yell, didn't react, I just said that we were over. I told her I couldn't be with someone who thought of me as an abuser. I didn't take any of my things. I just left to stay at my parents' house. She's been telling her family that I'm an abuser. I'm an abuser. and I've gotten a few semi-threatening calls and texts from her brothers. I'm really torn up about it, and I'm feeling like a real asshole now. Her texts range from, quote, I'm sorry, I know you're not an abuser, to how I never cared about her, and she was right about me all along.

Why did she convince herself that I would abuse her? I never, ever laid my hands on her, nor have I even yelled at her. If something was wrong, we handled it like adults, not dysfunctional teens. I miss her a lot and I'm starting to regret it all. I should have just let her put the cameras up. That probably isn't the self-respecting choice, but I really loved my girlfriend and I understood to an extent. He understood to an extent?

Poor boy's going through it. Yeah, I'm either getting like she's lost her damn mind. Yeah. And I mean, you know, you watch something about like an abusive man and you get really mad at men and you're like, men are so fucked up and then you see your man and you're like, I'm fucking mad at men. And then you're like, oh yeah, but that's, I don't have to project that onto him. Yeah.

It's almost like she got obsessed with the idea of an abuse is such a general term. Yeah. I wonder if there was like an event that happened between them that like triggered her to be like this could become something. Like if there was a fight, like I feel like we're missing maybe one piece of information. Yeah. Maybe he had a moment where, like, he got angry, which is, like, totally fine. But he's making it, like, he's been perfect this whole time. And she just...

Also, the cameras is fucking weird. Regardless, I feel like the cameras is not okay. No. No. Like, if you're putting up cameras somewhere... And not telling him. You have to let people consent to that. That feels very invasive.

And, like, if someone has never given you a reason... to suspect that they're going to hurt you. Something's going on here. And my thing is like, I'm like, maybe she's developing a mental illness. I think she is. Maybe there's something. I'm like, she wants to be the person in the documentary. The one thing also that makes me feel like he's not a bad dude is that abusers don't

normally leave you. No. They want you to stay. Yeah. For him to finally be like, it clicked. I'm done. Like, he's really hurt. by this and understandably so like if my partner started coming out of the woodwork and being like

oh i'm scared you're going to hurt me she's avoiding him yeah she's being weird and like jumpy around him like so it's but he can't be fulfilled by that too like that's not a happy relationship but it's it's like when you are with your friends and they start telling you things about your man and you start kind of believing it except that's her with these documentaries yeah it's giving gone girl Yes. It's giving she's like trying to create something that's not there. Again, it is like attention seeking where it's like she wants from her friends and her family to feel like she's going through something like these girls were going that she was watching. But yeah, the whole thing with domestic abuse is the cycle of abuse that like you get hurt and then they want you back and they apologize and they act good for a while and then they do it again and you're stuck, you're stuck in this horrible cycle. They don't just say, okay, this is weird I'm leaving. I know and he he did that I mean I think he's doing everything right like I feel so bad for him and then the comment here where he's like I came from a broken home with DB she knows that so then to kind of like put that on your partner and be like I'm worried you're going to be an abuser like you could be an abuser abuser abuser like that's not a light thing no and it's basically like if it was his dad being like are you your dad well and then I it's like at that point like there's the whole self-fulfilling prophecy thing like you're putting that into his head you're almost conditioning him to like make him think I am like that well also accusing someone

of being an abuser is something that could elicit a pretty intense response from someone like if he raised his voice I wouldn't be surprised well then it comes into that again that reactive abuse mm-hmm well I was going to say like what she was doing is a form of abuse because now he's getting if she's lying about him, he's now getting bullied by her family. Yes. And he must feel just like dirty and misunderstood and just like lost. It's really, really scary. It's like a form of psychological abuse.

Yes. What she's doing. Yeah. Like it feels very psychologically damaging. And it has nothing to do with him. No. And it's something where it's, I think he should, I think he should talk to her family to just be like, hey, I really care about her. And like, I had to remove myself because of what's going.

on but like I care about her and this is what's going on. Yeah like I'm genuinely worried she's 24 so severe mental illness is like they start really manifesting themselves at this age you know 23 to 26 27 is kind of that window where you know bigger things come out. She's giving like very paranoid yes and so maybe there is some mental health issue popping up right now. No it's totally valid and I think he needs he can't just let it be believed he needs to stand up for himself. He needs to set the record straight. If they're like in a small town, like he cannot have that going around. No.

And then her like text too where she's like, I'm sorry. I know you're not an abuser to then being like, oh, I was right about you. It's like she's swinging on both sides of that pendulum. Exactly. She's unsure what's going on. And she needs help. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster day. I really am messing us up.

Though these are wild. I'm messing us up. Holy smokes. So there is only one comment from O.P. And it is in response to this comment. Not the asshole in the slightest. I would check up on her or at least urge her family to do so. Although from my understanding you are not on great terms at the moment.

Because it seems that she has come to develop what I can only understand to be some sort of acute paranoia as a result of the content she consumes. She can have her interest, but she by herself needs to be a, able to distinguish her own reality from others. Period. That is something which inherently is not your problem. But seeing as you have been together for a while and were envisioning marriage, your approach to appeasement and not communicating your own emotions at the expense of your well-being also was less than ideal. You made the right decision anyways. You honestly don't need this, and her wrongs heavily outweigh anything you've done. O.P. responds, I did tell you. I did

talk to her about it, but not in depth, so I didn't mention it in my post. Our talking about it was her explaining why she felt the need to be doing things she was doing and me reassuring her that I would never hurt her. She always replied, quote, I know it's just in case, and then carried on. I also think she's paranoid due to the media she's been consuming, but there isn't anything I can do about it now, and that's my mistake. I could have intervened much sooner, but saw no harm until it was too late. I can't really tell her family that I'm worried about her, but my sister extended the message to her mom. I don't know if they'll be doing anything about it. Well, I hated when he said, like, I didn't want to respond to things because I don't want to prove her right. Because you can't be in a

relationship where you can't at least voice your concerns or boundaries without being accused of being an abuser. Yeah. Like you have to, and also in your relationships with people you love, Sometimes they see like the darkest parts of you. Yeah. Because like you're going to show them everything. And I think he's being put in a really fucked up situation where he can't even speak up for himself. No, because anything he does or like any feelings and speaking up for himself that he does articulate, it's going to be like, well, if you weren't an abuser, you would let me do this. Yeah.

It's going to be twisted on him. Yeah. So it's like he can't even say how he actually feels about it, which is so toxic. Also, just like putting the abuser title is so impersonal and so just like projecting where she can kind of define it in however she wants. This is really, this is actually kind of a scary one. Yeah. Top comment on this one, not the asshole. This person is unhinged.

I'm a woman who enjoys true crime. This is so weird. It's giving gone girl. It's giving gone girl. Yeah. Which there's like another Netflix thing that just came out. It's really good. Did you watch it?

It's incredible. The one that, like, faked her own kidnapping, right? It's incredible. And it is another thing of, like, wanting attention and seeing how much someone, like, wants to be with you or, like, how much people care about you. And it's, it's a sickness. It's a sickness. So, um, get help. If you need attention.

Throw a birthday party. Start stand-up comedy. Go to Appleby. Start stand-of comedy. Do those things instead of going to therapy. if you won't. No, the Applebee's one? Go to Applebees.

You will feel special. Half off wings, a song, and a little dessert. Dollarita, let's go. Do they have those again? In the summer, I think. I'm literally going to look up the nearest Applebee's. I need this. I need this.

But there's other ways to get attention. Like, come on. Don't hurt people that. Let me get a dog. A dog. Foster, like Hannah. You had the. cute as foster recently. I still have a really cute foster Abby. She's like a pocket pit who she's like tan and little white on her face and she just loves people so much. She's not great with other dogs, but she like literally just wants to cuddle with you all day. Okay. Where can people go to look for Abby? Southampton Animal Shelter.com. Okay. Yes. A. B.B. Y. A B. Y. She's the best. She's really the best. If you're watching on YouTube, you'll see some pictures right here, right now. Let's get Abby adopted.

Abby. So freaking cute. I love that you foster. Yeah, thanks. You're just, why are you the most magical little human? It was my husband that wanted to foster because I was like, I traveled too much and I like cats. And he was like, we're fostering this pit bull. I love that.

I mean, we've had her for like three years now, which shows how great of a dog she is. We don't want to give her back unless she's adopted. Three years? Yeah, his brother will take care of her. We have like a whole system because we travel a lot. Oh my gosh. She's living on Long Island. She's super happy, but we wanted to have a forever home.

She deserves a nice little yard. Oh, yes. And she does like big males, which honestly same. Oh. But she doesn't get along with like little dogs. It's too bad. You know, she doesn't get along. I had a reactive dog and it is really tough.

But like there's so many places you can still go and like people are getting better about having their other dogs on leashes. She's always on a leash. But it's so funny because with people, she's just the best. I wonder if she's. would get along with Miss Peaches. Oh, I don't know because Miss Peaches is a girl.

Maybe two, you know, two powerful women in a household. We'll see if they, but we could try. Reach out to, reach out to Mr. Dave. Mrs. Peaches is from Southampton Animal Shelter. Yeah. Okay. All the more. Come on, guys. Come on. Get them together.

Check out Abby. Check out something's an animal shelter. Oh, I love that. I'm going to, you're going to encourage me to start fostering. Oh, my God. It's the best. I love, I miss it so much. You save more dogs. than one, they say. Oh, I love that. Well, that's all I have for you. That's all? That's it. I need a stick drink. A palette. Palat cleanser. No, that was amazing. I have so much fun doing this with you.

I love having you. I really, really, really think so highly of you. And I was talking to someone the other day, kind of telling them I had you coming on. And I was like, you are genuinely one of the kindest, most authentic people I've met in this journey, I call life now. Like, podcasting has been, like, it's been really tough. Like, it's so rewarding, but there's a lot behind the scenes that people don't see or don't know. And I think every single time I'm with you, you are just such a light, and you deserve every good thing coming your way. And it's not to say you haven't worked your ass off for it, but it is so, so deserved. And it's so nice to see one of the good ones win. Let me tell you. Wait, I love you so much. And you've actually been so helpful in so many ways.

Stop. And like everything right back at you. Take the compliment. No, I can't. I literally can't. No. No, how dare you? No, but seriously, I love you. And this community you built is so fucking great. It's magical. It really is. We've got some good ones. And good ones that are hopefully going to come check out where you're at now. You have a podcast with your friend page, Giggly Squad. It's very silly, very funny. I love it. And we read it on Netflix. Message me. Tell me how you like it. Tell me your favorite bits. Yes. Get into it. Yes. We should do a poll. What have you found to be very polarizing about your special? People really like the queef joke. I have like a, I have like a 10 minute quefe bin. It's about who queve to. Cool. Like, does he queef you or are you queefing? No.

So it's gotten into that. It is purely from the other person pushing air up in you. It's their fault. I say, I've never queefed alone. So I know. But then some girls messaged me and said they can queef alone. So it's been, it's gotten kind of controversial. Interesting.

Okay. Well, we are going to put a poll up and see if you guys have queefed alone because now I'm really curious about that. Somewhat concerned for those that are quefeing alone. Or a little jealous. No. I love the skill. Actually, I'm glad I can't because I would never stop. I'd be like, look what I could do.

I have enough flatulence from the other hole. I don't need a double whammy. No. I'm okay there. Check out Giggly Squad. Be sure to watch the special. It is so good. Thank you.

Let's get it to number one. Let's go. Let's go, baby. Let's go. Put on repeat. I love it. All of Hannah's links will be in the description of the podcast, the YouTube. Easy, easy, guys.

It's one click. One click. But thank you for coming on. Always welcome. Just come whenever you just say I'm coming. Thank you, works. Until next time, guys. Bye.