Two Hot Takes - 181: Drop a Pin.. Ft. Hannah Berner

Episode Date: September 5, 2024

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Hannah Berner! Hannah is coming off her amazing comedy special "We Ride at Dawn", and so we chimed in on stories that have us ready to ride if OP would drop a pin. Whether that's to witness a wedding mishap or get someone out of a not so great situation we need a pin dropped. Can't wait to hear your thoughts on these ones.  Ticket Giveaway: https://forms.gle/4djNX77JHpbG6SA99 Checkout Hannah's Content!! https://www.instagram.com/hannahberner/?hl=en https://beacons.ai/hannahberner LIVE SHOW TICKETS HERE!! https://linktr.ee/twohottakestour MERCH IS ON SALE HERE ! https://shop.twohottakes.com Bonus Content on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes I can't wait to see you all in these, especially at our live shows!! Our PO Box!! Two Hot Takes. 5042 Wilshire BLVD. #470. Los Angeles, CA 90036 Our SubReddit to Submit YOUR Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes Partners: Skims: Skims.com/tht  Rocket Money: rocketmoney.com/tht Babbel: babbel.com/tht Stitch Fix: stitchfix.com/tht

Just your reminder to subscribe and enjoy this amazing episode with Hannah Berner. Be sure to check out her special on Netflix, We Ride at Dawn. And if you want to see us on tour, be sure to check out the link in our description for tickets. We might be coming to a city near you very soon. Enjoy the episode. I love having you. I love being here. Every time you come into the studio, I just feel like I'm like,

you're like my emotional support person. I feel like you see me on some of the worst days. Like truly the last time you saw me, I was having a mental breakdown from hell. And you're just so good. It's so funny because you're so Midwest, so you have such a cheery just overall vibe that I'm always like,

she's the happiest person I've ever met. You know, some days, some days. No, I also think you're so interesting because you literally look like a like, just like a cute cartoon character who's always happy. But then you have like so many other sides to you that are like fascinating. I love you. You're just like the ultimate little hype girl.

You're a horse superhero. I know. Hannah met the ponies today. I met the ponies, gorgeous. Gave them a couple of carrots. They were real happy about that. I love, I feel like talk about emotional therapy animals. Yeah.

Are they smarter than us? I don't know. They're very motivated by food. They're really smart. They're really smart and they're really motivated by food. They're really smart. They're really smart and they're really emotional. Horses are really emotional. Wait, that's so funny. They know when you're sad.

And they just like cuddle. Are they moody? Yeah, very sassy. Like they're like, I woke up on the wrong side of the hay. Yeah, actually, actually. Like they're sassy little things. I love it. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot things. I love it.

Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host Morgan. Today we are joined by the amazing Hannah Berner. Thank you for having me again. No, Hannah. I hope you all aren't sick of me. It's an open invite. But I have opinions. I have opinions.

Opinions. Amazing comedy special out right now. Thank you. I literally, I went to go watch it and it was like number two and I was like fuck yes. You never know with these algorithms you really never know. You are doing so well. Oh my god thank you. Well Netflix is also weird because I saw it charting and I was like wait is it just my algorithm that's charting? No. Or like are other people seeing it? It was number two in the world. Crazy. Insane.

But so so so deserved. Like, Hannah works harder than probably anyone I know. Like, nonstop, go, go, go, multiple podcasts, you have Giggly Squad with your friend Paige. I'm running away from my thoughts. I think it's once you find something that's fun, you're like, okay, let's just, let's do it. Let's roll. Yeah.

Because otherwise I feel like I have no purpose. I love a to-do list. I love check, even if it's little things, check that shit off. I know. I went to Home Depot and had a list of items and I was like, oh, shovel, yep, hook, check. I sound like I'm going to kill someone.

I'm not. I know, I'm like, what body are you burying? But it just felt so good. I'm like, okay, this is what it feels like to be accomplished. Literally better than sex is like cross that, I'll just write a little thing to just cross it off and be like, ugh, she's just accomplishing things. I need to do that.

Gave horse carrot, check. Yeah. Like little things, make it attainable. Yeah. I love that. Today's theme, I mean, your whole special and everything you've been doing lately is like very for the girls, for the people.

We write at Dawn. Like you are just there about like helping the people. Like you, you know, so today's theme I have for you is drop a pin. So these are people that they might need our help. They gotta drop a pin or, you know, I wanna be in on the fun too. I wanna see that freak out.

So drop the pin, we're gonna roll up. Let's do it. We ride at dawn for them. We ride at dawn. Let's up. Let's do it. We ride a dawn for them. We ride a dawn Let's go. Let's dive in Okay, this first one is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Returning My Wife's Shoes? My wife was at the doctor's office for our baby's two-week checkup when I stumbled upon new purchases in her closet.

As in shoes, flip-flops, sandals, etc. that looked pretty close to the ones she already had in the closet that she had bought earlier this year in preparation, I guess, for summer? Except that the shoes were much bigger than the ones that she had had previously. This is our first baby, and to be honest, what I noticed more than anything is the fact that her feet have gotten swollen, wider and longer as the pregnancy progressed. It has been a big mood killer for me, and it's made worse by the fact

that my mom compares pregnancy feet to a loaf of bread, and I can only visualize her feet like that now. But more than that, my mom said that feet are supposed to shrink after pregnancy and that weight loss is a big part of it. So I was upset that my wife just spent all this money on new shoes when she barely goes anywhere outside of either her bedroom or our baby's room and should be gunning for weight loss instead of throwing in the towel. I thought that it was an impulse purchase that in the end was going to waste money and

disincentivize her to lose weight and look for solutions for her swollen feet. As a result, I ended up taking the shoes back and getting refunds. Now my wife is pissed and I feel like she's just going to refuse to lose weight out of spite. Am I the asshole? I can't help feeling not attracted to her, and unfortunately the state of her feet is something I notice very clearly.

And I'm also still mad that she used my money without permission, and I'm tempted to cut up the credit cards she uses if she's going to impulse buy. So, am I the asshole? I need to throw that computer across the room. I'm enraged. I don't know if I've ever been so one-sided on one of these. Let's go.

Pop off, girl. Well, there's so many questions. There's so many red flags. Why are you talking to your mom that much? Why are you a grown man asking your mom all these questions about your wife's feet? That's insane. Also- Unreal.

When your wife just birthed your child and wants to feel comfortable walking around. Also, OK, I get it if they were like Louis Vuitton. I don't think they were Louis Vuitton. They sound like Target flip-flops. I just want to say Louis Vuitton. They're deaf. I'm giving maybe $50 max. You should be fucking doing everything you can to make your wife feel as comfortable as possible.

She didn't go behind your back and she might've been a little embarrassed. And also swollen feet is not the same as losing weight. It's retention from the pregnancy. Let's go. We ride at dawn for this woman. How many times did he mention weight? It was crazy.

She needs to lose weight. I hope she's not disincentivized to not lose weight now. She's going to not lose weight out of spite. It's giving like he has like a weird foot fetish. Right? That. Well, his whole like they're longer, they're what? My husband doesn't even notice if I get a pedicure.

Also if you're worried about her feet being swollen, massage them. Massage them. Retrograde massage, baby. Come on, be a participant in this. Also thinking of worrying the most about your wife's feet when you've just had two babies, it's like, thank God she's healthy. Thank God I hope the babies are healthy. There's so many more things if we're going to be worried about something.

I'm really not happy with this, Mianne. No. The other part that really irks me is the financial abuse comment. I'm mad that she spent my money on this. No, sir. If you have a stay at home wife and you're choosing to have your partner stay home to take care of your child, that is your money. The financial abuse and I'm sorry, if my partner cut up a credit card because I bought a couple pairs of shoes, divorce.

Also imagine dealing with this, like coming home from having a baby and being like, oh, where's my sandals that fit my feet? And he's like, I went out and returned. What? In that time, you could have massaged my feet and done whatever freaky shit you want to do to my feet because clearly that's all You're obsessing about all he sees are loafs of bread Also, little sour dough doesn't like a loaf of bread. What's wrong with you, sir? I love bread get out some bread and butter and let's go. I would take a baguette right now With some buffalo butter. Oh, have you had buffalo butter? No the best butter there there ever is like from Buffalo. Yeah, apparently they can milk those things

Well next thing I know you're gonna have a buffalo in your backyard with the two horses Don't put it past me I want a donkey like Buffalo sauce butter No, like Buffalo cuz that's some white trash it to talk about Buffalo. Oh, yeah. Cool. I don't know I'm into it. I don't know. I'm into it. I don't know how they get it, but it can be done. Milk them up. It can be done.

Okay, now we're hungry. But no, I'm like really, I'm like at divorce level with that man. I am too. I think there's a lot of concerning red flags. And I do think if you are concerned about your wife's feet, like talk to her, buy her a pedicure, do something about it. But like people's feet don't usually get smaller. Like I don't know if this is like-

My feet get bigger in the summer just because it's hot out. That and the more you work on your feet, like your feet do change over time. Like when I was a flight attendant and I was on my feet non-stop or working retail, my feet did change. They got a little bigger. I went up a half size. Also, I'd love to see his fucking feet. They probably look disgusting.

I want to see your fucking hairy toe knuckle. I have a hairy toe knuckle. I'm Italian. I one time went to a pedicure spot and the lady just started tweezing my toe hair on solicited. See, I love that. I'd be like, thank you. I mean, painful.

I was so embarrassed. But I love that she didn't ask. That was nice of her. She didn't want to embarrass me. Yeah, she didn't want to say it out loud. I'll get a lot of like, I'll be getting a facial and they're like Do you want me to get a little bit of your mustache off? And I said, yes, ma'am. Oh my god Those chin hairs they come in so hot. Like a belly goat. Oh my god. I had a joke that I said

I was like live life like a chin hair when someone tries to take you out come back stronger than ever If that isn't accurate We ride at dawn. Oh my God, I need that on a t-shirt. Yeah, it's funny. Or a coffee mug, damn. It's so motivational. It is because they-

But like, they will come back stronger every time. And darker. Darker. They started out blonde, now they're black. And then TikTok tries to tell you you have like a hormonal imbalance. I'm like, no, I think I'm just a girl with like a chin hair that I get to play with when I'm like spacing out. Oh my God, I know. And if I find it when I'm driving, no, I think I'm just a girl with a Chin hair that I get to play with when I'm like spacing out

I know and if I find it when I'm driving I just sit there and I just try to the whole car ride just to play It's so hard to get it. But when you do like cross it off your should do Why why we like this oh God we went off on a tangent. Top comment on this one. I really hope you're a troll because if not, you're a huge asshole and a terrible husband. Thank you. She gave up her figure to bring your child into the world two weeks ago. Her shoes do not fit her.

This wasn't an impulse buy. It was a necessity. You do not have the right to threaten her with financial abuse because she had the audacity to want shoes that fit her. Guess what, Buttercup? When my mom was pregnant, her feet grew two sizes, all caps, and never went back down. Despite the fact that she lost weight, you suck and you're the asshole.

Wait, I love how she threw Buttercup in there. Or he. Guess what, Buttercup? Let me start saying that. Okay, I love how she threw buttercup in there. Or he. Guess what? Buttercup. And he starts saying that. Okay, buttercup. Okay, buttercup. Okay, buttercup.

Yeah, sure, buttercup. I think he's better than Sweetie. Yeah, Sweetie. Yeah, this is like the new, this is upgraded Sweetie. This is elite level. No, that, did he like just, maybe he has like a kink where he wants people to call him an asshole. Ooh, I could see that. We have some degrade, what's that big word? Did he like just maybe has like a kink where he wants people to call him an asshole? Ooh, I could see that. We have some degrade. What's that big word?

Yeah. Degration. Degradation. Degradation. Next. That sounded like something people do in like a lawn. I degraded my lawn. It does actually. It can go along with irrigation. I got some new degradation in my lawn.

Look at you. Look at you. Yard work Hannah. Farmer Hannah. Farmer Hannah. I could see you being a farmer. I do want to have like a cat dog sanctuary one day and be a painter in a farm. You have it. You have that. It's in me. I see it. It wants to come out.

The overalls with like the paint all over it. Yes. I'm just like, and I'm always really busy, but I actually have nothing to do. Yes. I want that for you more than anything. You need a vacation where you just- I'm not even selling the paintings. I'm just like, I have to finish this painting.

Yeah. Oh, I love that. Okay, moving along. Okay, let's lighten it up a little bit. Let's lighten it up. This next one is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the Asshole for agreeing with my niece being booed at her sister's wedding and then later putting her in check?

I have two nieces and one recently got married. The other one is pregnant with her first child. At the reception, she used her toast time to announce her pregnancy. My niece is selfish like that and has always stolen the spotlight. She always got away with it though because she was the favorite. Well, she didn't get away with it this day. The groom's family and friends immediately booed her loudly. The best man, Grim's brother, said on the mic, how dare she use his brother's wedding to announce that and, quote, this day is not about you. The booing changed to applause and not just from his family and friends.

I clapped, too. My selfish niece and her husband left out of embarrassment. I went to the bride to check on her and hug her. That's when I found out my niece had asked the bride for permission to announce it weeks ago, quote, because it's practical since the whole family will be there. But the bride had said no. She wanted that day to be about her and her husband. This made me very glad that I clapped. Later on, my selfish niece sent me a text message blasting me for clapping while she was being humiliated. I ignored it. She called me the next day and blasted me, but this time I told her she deserved it. I told her I knew her sister

asked her not to announce anything, quote, but you had to make it about you like always. Then she had the nerve to tell me, quote, she's always been your favorite niece. And while that's true, that pushed me over the edge. I told her, quote, she, the bride, had to be someone's favorite since you held that title with both of your parents. Unlike you, she has a kind and selfless spirit that she'll pass on to her first child. Then I told her I don't want to hear from her until she grew the fuck up and apologized to her sister. Then I hung up. Now I'm all kinds of assholes to my sister, their mom,

and other family members for clapping and for my words over the phone. I don't regret the clapping, but did I go too far over the phone? Wait. I love that the groom's family stood up for her. Like that is just that's actually the most romantic thing I've ever heard. Iconic. And obviously I feel like there are multiple sides to this story because she's really making this one girl seem like the most horrible human that's ever walked this earth.

Varukha salt vibes, spoiled brat. Yes, if the facts are true though that like the bride said no, also it's crazy to ask that. And then you did it out of it was convenient, which that's not a good excuse. And you still did it like you do deserve it. I do feel like if you're going to clap clap then you're asking for a little drama. So like their responses are valid too. But I do think that she made a point and you did you girl. You like stand your ground, say it with your chest.

Absolutely. You got told no and you still went ahead with it. Looks like you're dealing with the consequences now. Exactly. That's how're dealing with the consequences now exactly that's how it works babe exactly how it works buttercup come on that's such crazy behavior also the whole like favorite niece thing like okay look I know like will joke in my family and be like oh like I got a lot of tension on this or like yeah my grandpa really loved me but like it's not that obvious and it's not true. It's a joke. So the fact that they like have a ranking system

and she's like, you always thought she was the favorite. Like, what? It's so strange. Come on. Your family, your sisters. It's giving, Golden Child and Scapegoat. Like, she was the Golden Child and now that like, she got put in her place and wasn't fawned over, she's losing it because this has never happened to her.

You know what, this is kind of reactive abuse a little bit for the aunt because it's like she's reacting to what the girl was doing and everyone's mad at her for her reaction. Let's focus on what the niece did. Yeah. Your sister's wedding is not a family reunion. It's not a time to make it about you.

You are there for quite literally one reason. Yes. Your sister. And don't project your embarrassment and blame it on your aunt for clapping, because that was just a reaction to the bullshit. Yep. Yep.

Top comment on this one, not the asshole. But now I'm wondering if the bride had a feeling her sister would make the announcement anyways and suggested the booing to her new in-laws and hubby's friends. I don't care if she did. I don't care if she did. She probably was embarrassed and knows her sister

and was like, hey, just warning you guys, this might happen. And if it happens, like, I'm not gonna be happy. So she basically made sure that she had people there to try to save the moment for her still, which is what like everyone does at weddings. Like, Oh, Hey, can you keep an eye on my Sally? After a couple of drinks, she's going to start talking about so and so's, you know, security, you know, watch out for Sally.

She might, she might try to have an affair. Everyone does that. Like that's, you kind of have those people that come to your weddings or baby showers or whatever. Like that's normal. Good for her for being proactive and making sure people had her back because her own sister sure fucking didn't. It definitely is a quality of families where like someone's known to make it about them.

And it's like, I definitely have had these situations where someone's known to make it about them. Always. And it's like, I definitely have had these situations where someone's like, hey, so and so tends to make it about them and will be somewhere important and someone suddenly is always sick or something happened that they're not telling people about but it's to get the attention on them. Tomato, tomato, tomato. And you're like, how many times? It becomes a pattern.

Always. get the attention on them. And you're like how many times, it becomes a pattern. But then I sometimes like have empathy for them because I'm like what happened that you can't not have people worrying about you all the time? Or like praising you all the time. Like deep down you really need that. Yeah. Yeah.

And it's funny because with me, obviously I love attention but I like hated wedding attention. I know, I remember you telling me that. I hated wedding attention. Like I heard that story and I was like, wait, I would have loved someone else to make it about them. Because I want to like, my own demons are like, I want to earn people's attention.

Like I want people to be like, I don't know if I like her and then be like, give me the mic and let me win you over. But like me forcing people to come like, I don't know if I like her and then be like, give me the mic and let me win you over but like me forcing people to come and Like celebrate me I get like it makes me unsettled Even though like everyone obviously is excited But like yeah, I'm like a people pleaser so the whole time like are you guys having fun is everyone are we having fun? Are you having fun? We should unpack that more later. Yeah. Yeah, you are worthy of love and attention without working for it. No one likes when people sing happy birthday for them.

I feel like that's a lie. I feel like it's the most awkward, first of all, difficult song to sing. Why is it so hard? Why do they put such a high note in the most popular song in America? I would love to use the Spanish version because I feel like that's a little easier.

Oh my God, it's so much more of light and fun. Cumpleaños feliz. Bring that out. Bring that out. Make that the standard because way easier. That's so funny. No, yeah, I never know what to do with my hands. Everyone's staring at you. Okay, I might. I don't want to ruin it for you, but like I personally, like I will fight to the death for people not to sing Happy Birthday. I do like the Applebee's version. Happy, happy birthday from all of us to you. We wish it was our birthday so we could celebrate too.

How many times do you think they prank your friend and that you're like, it's my friend's birthday when it's not, just so they get the song? Probably pretty often. Yeah, I think it's the move. But it comes with free dessert. So like a win is a win. A win is a win. Someone has to sacrifice. I'm gonna really think about this. Happy birthday now I think the most awkward is the way and you don't know someone's name and you get to the name part and you're like They have a nickname you're like are we saying the nickname where we're not yeah, but actually let's be honest thinking back

I would not be happy if someone announced their pregnancy at my wedding. It's just disrespectful. Taki. It's tacky, it's disrespectful, it's mean. And also like this bitch already got married and no one did that at her wedding. No, and you're gonna have a baby shower. So that's your day, not this one. Oh my God, booing is so funny. We need to boo more.

We need to boo more. I think honestly, physical tomatoes could come back up. I was going to say tomato, tomato, tomato. But also this is like just like it's a learning lesson for that. I'm excited that this happened to that woman so that and but in this moment instead of projecting it all the issue onto your aunt be like what did I do wrong in this situation? How can I learn from it? Yeah. And she needs to like have a really big formal apology. And I think they'll be able to move forward from it. I think so too.

Because it can be a learning lesson if she reacts it with the right way. I think so. And I hope as a character development, because you know, you're about to have a baby, sis. Like you got to get some good quality traits. Imagine when that kid's older, be like, you want to know about before you were born? You were booed. You were booed from the belly. You're the boo baby. I would like a pin drop so I can see the video in person.

Oh my god. Please, if you're out there, bride, please post this on TikTok. I know someone was recording those speeches. But that will end the relationship between the sisters if it goes viral. Just send it to me. Or sometimes, honestly, cutting ties is sometimes very healthy. Well, no contact. I could see it.

For a couple years. I could see it. At peace. I love that. Sometimes nice. Moving along. One of this week's partners is skims. Think about how often you're wearing clothes.

A lot. And there's nothing worse than clothes that don't have good fabrics, or itchy, scratchy tags are rubbing on you. Maybe I'm just a sensory person but I want to be in clothes that are comfortable, that are versatile. I can wear them lounging on the couch, working from home or I could wear them to go run errands and get groceries. That is what you're going to get with the Skims Soft Lounge Collection. Whether it's the Soft Lounge Slip Dress, the Lounge Tank and Box boxer set, my personal go-to, or the soft lounge sleep set. Every piece is so flattering and just makes you feel good.

I mean, it's gotta be a good fit if you can wear a tank boxer set out of the house. And I've gotten so many compliments on this set. And Skims has more than just the soft lounge collection. They've got the perfect t-shirts, amazing sculpting bodysuits, underwear, bras, the bras. Don't even get me started on the bras. We'll talk about those soon.

But if you're ready to try it for yourself, shop the Skim Soft Lounge Collection at skims.com. Now available in sizes extra, extra small to 4X. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop down menu that follows. Thank you. Do you want to ease into being mad or do you just want to like... I'm already mad. Okay we're here. Okay it is titled, Am I the asshole for slapping my husband in

the face? Where's this gonna go? My 43 male husband thinks it's funny to constantly slap me, 43 female, in the privates all day, every day. He sneaks up behind me and will stick his fingers in my ass or slap my vagina. He does this in front of the kids. Once or twice is one thing, but this is at least ten times a day. Tonight I was in the shower washing my face and he came in and slapped my privates. He knows I don't like it. I've told him. I have bad hemorrhoids after having the kids, so when he sticks his finger there, it hurts.

He knows this. Sorry for the TMI, but I am pissed. After the shower tonight, I slapped him in the face. Not hard, but hard enough to sting. His reaction was to punch me in the stomach and tell me he wants a divorce for hurting him. He's never done that before, and in my opinion, way overreacted.

After 11 years of marriage, that was a first, and he said, I'm the asshole. Meanwhile, I'm ready to leave and take the kids tonight. I know his reaction was not okay, but was I out of line? What the fuck? Wait, it's obviously so easy for me to sit back in my chair right now and tell people to leave their husbands because it's obviously way more complicated than that, but like,

leave your husband. Immediately. Take the kids. You can stay at my place. Like, we'll figure it out. Drop the pin, we'll come help you move. Drop the pin, I got you. That was so layered of so many weird things.

And it's funny because when you stand up for yourself, I feel like sometimes their reaction really like confirms like, oh, they have really been fucked up this whole time and I was just giving them the benefit of the doubt. Yes. Have you heard about reactive abuse? Yeah, I've definitely been the victim of it. I feel like I just, you hear about it, but like I just really learned about it recently. And that's what this kind of feels like.

It's a form of gaslighting, where it's like, finally someone reacts and then they're like, you're the problem when they were the person that made you so upset. It's instigating it. I say, don't judge people based on their reaction to trauma. Ooh. Yeah. I don't always say that, but it is like how someone reacts to abuse, like you can't, they're reacting to abuse.

Yeah. So you can't like weigh it to the abuse. That makes total sense. And it just like, I'm sitting here like that's so Raven tunneling to like a bunch of moments in my life. I'm like, Oh my God. Okay. Like I, yeah.

Well, that's what they are good at with reality TV because people are just reacting and they're getting all these reactions and then they decide how they want to put it together. So you don't always see what people are reacting to. So then you could be the one that's considered crazy because they show you reacting to something that was different.

But not the abuse that happened before exactly triggered that reaction You could get bullied for your reacted reaction to the abuse like you were the only reality TV is Terrifying so that's that's like one thing to look out I actually can't watch it anymore now that I like know how the sausage is made Yeah, cuz it's like it's like it's like watching a fight But starting in the middle of it and having to decide which side you're on. You ever see that sometimes on TikTok, there'll be a fight and someone's freaking the fuck

out and you're like, they're crazy. But then you find out that person did something so beyond that you're like, of course she flipped out like that. She should have flipped out more. Exactly. You see the other POV. Yeah. Yes.

And I also think, yes like the physical stuff in relationships, there has to be boundaries. It could be super scary, but him reacting, I want a divorce immediately. It's like, then go, please go. Bye, my hemorrhoids will be less inflamed. Well, he has no boundaries. And she finally was like standing up for herself

and like people will be like, why don't you tell him what he knows? She's told him multiple times. Yeah. He knows. And I understand like I am guilty. I like annoying my husband. Like he's very ticklish and like sometimes like

he'll just like his stomach will kind of be out. And I know that he doesn't want me to, but I need to like poke him and I'd be like, why'd you do that? And like I try not to, but I need to like poke him. And I'd be like, why'd you do that? And like, I try not to, but I think I'm like the older sister. Like I love annoying my little brother and it's something I'm working on. But it's also like we end up laughing,

but I try to be like, I get in a silly mood sometimes. I think like a little poke, a little foot tickle, a little like a little boop. Because he overreacts a lot. So I think it's really funny when he overreacts. He's like, don't funny you're like, you know, I'm really ticklish.

So like hearing this on a smaller scale, I'm like, okay, that's so valid and I should listen to him more. But also like it is funny when I barely touch him that he's like, whoa. I know. Just like such a boy. And I also I like being like teased and made fun of so like, but you have to understand that sometimes they don't enjoy it. So I've been better. I feel like the difference is like if he seriously was like, I really don't appreciate it. Can you please stop?

You would stop. Yeah. And I'm also not sexually assaulting him. That's the thing. Like getting slapped in the privates again and again and again. Like at what point is this a joke? At what point is this funny? Well, yeah, what's the point of it?

Because it's clearly not turning her on and it's embarrassing her. Also, the way she brought up the kids multiple times in this, it makes me feel like she's just a little embarrassed by like how her husband is acting in front of her children. This is not a good thing to show your kids. To do this in front of your kids, it's okay to hit your partner in the genitals? Not to go big picture here,

but I feel like Am I the Asshole is super powerful because this is the kind of thing that you won't necessarily want to bring up at brunch with your girls. No. What would you guys do? Like it's so layered and complicated and embarrassing and weird, but like, yeah, you're not going to tell your mom

or something. So like this gives people an outlet to have unbiased opinions to be like, you're not crazy. You should leave your husband. Absolutely. I'm so happy. When in doubt, leave. At least remove yourself like, and take a break.

Like if you're questioning things, if you feel gaslit, if that person loves you and it's the right person, a couple weeks away for you to clear your head isn't gonna change that. I'm just really in a place of like life is so short. And like, yes, we all want a beautiful family with a perfect home and a 50 year marriage. But it's like, you know what's worse than not having that?

Being stuck in something that is killing you inside. Dude, the Ballerina Farm stuff that's coming out. Wait, can you explain that? Have you talked about it yet? No, it just dropped. I think the article just dropped like yesterday. So Ballerina Farm is like this big content creator that's like really pursuing the tradwife content. They live out on a farm. They have like eight or 10 kids.

I'm not really sure. I'm not, I don't engage with the content typically. That keeps coming up. It just keeps coming up. And so it's like, they have this farm, they get their own milk and flour and butter and like traditional, she doesn't have a nanny for the eight, 10 kids, however many she's got. Meanwhile, like the husband comes from money, like I think his family, like maybe he's not well off, but like his family owns like an airline. And so just this crazy stuff where it's like, why are you making her suffer? And then, so this article came out where she talks about like she wanted

to be a ballerina and went to Juilliard and she was like the only ballerina in modern Juilliard history that got pregnant in undergrad and she gave up dancing for this guy and these kids and this life and she couldn't get an epidural and like she whispered to the interviewer like, I had to get the epidural when he left the room.

Like crazy shit. And so everyone's kind of like- Is he Mormon? What's going on? I think they might be. But it was just like this whole thing where it's coming out and they're like, holy shit, is she okay? It's that, it's honestly reminds me of a bit

that's in my special about how I had bad taste in men, but it was never my fault, it was Disney's fault. Yes! But it's the concept of like, we're trained to be like, you're gonna want a man that's, you know, he's tall, and he is rich, and he's a prince, and he is the loudest guy in the room, and the most masculine,

and then you find these guys, and they're not always right for you, and then you have to battle like everything you've been taught to be like, oh, I need to find a guy who's right for me, and who's kind, and who loves me, not just the guy who's like the Disney Prince that is supposed to save us, which obviously doesn't work out that way and could be that's the problem. When you're with the wrong person. Yeah, it can suck, but it also can like literally ruin your life. Yes, they're your everything. They're the person you bounce ideas off of. You make

financial decisions. They can be super controlling. Like, it's a huge decision who you spend the rest of your life with. It really is. And like thinking about choosing the wrong partner, like if I would have been with any of my exes before my fiance, like I would not have this podcast. Like being with him is the reason I literally have this show. He bought me the equipment, he taught me how to edit. He encouraged me to do it. Any of those other people that I was with before him

would have stomped that little spark out. Like truly. Like I, hearing you say that, I'm like, it's so important to have the right partner around you, the right friends around you, because it can foster or it can squash you. 100%. I'm very like quality over quantity with that stuff

because it's so many energies and you're getting all these weird things in your life. But I feel like these horrible relationships can be good because then you realize like, oh, it's so not worth it. I never want that again. Like my worst breakup in my 20s made me finally stop being too boy crazy and just wanting attention from guys and being like,

oh wait, attention from guys can be really, really bad. Like in the longterm, like this could be four years of therapy, me thinking a guy's hot. So I'm like, if I'm going to fall for someone, I need to make sure that they're going to be an asset. And not to make it like, oh, I need you to benefit me. But it's like, if you're taking away from my life, I can't. Like I don't care how blue your eyes are

or whatever you're into, you know? I love that. I just, I hope that resonates with people because it's like, life again is too short to be with the wrong person. And this lady needs to run. And I feel like there's a lot of smart, powerful people that listen to this pod.

I mean, obviously, because they like strong opinions. And there's a lot of like, oh, if you're a strong woman, it's really hard to find a guy. And I was able to find a guy who, even with all my Netflix special coming out, he's so proud. And he also was so helpful in a lot of critical decisions. He was the one who told me, wait eight months before you put it out so you can tour more and make it even better. Like he's just

looking out for me and just it's nice to have just a partner that cares about you as much as you care about you. Which like to find that I do think is so rare because he's also in comedy. He does the same thing. So to not be threatened by your success or to take what you're having and like take it personally like, oh, well, why aren't I getting the Netflix special? No, no, no. I'm going to support my partner. I'm going to foster that. I'm going to encourage that. Like it shouldn't be as rare as it feels like it is.

I know. And I do think it is a timing thing. Like, for example, because he's older, like he's had these moments for himself already. So he almost loves being able to like hold my hand sometimes and be like, hey, don't make this mistake that I made. And it's this nice, like, I don't know if we met if when we both were 30, like coming up, we might've like had butt heads. So it's like just trusting the universe to like put you

with the right people at the right time. I love that. You can't force it. No, I love that. I love all the jokes. And then leave when he pisses you off. I love all the right time. I love that. And you can't force it. No, I love that. I love all the jokes. And then leave when he pisses you off. I love all the jokes about him in the Netflix special. It's so funny.

When I got Fallon, you have to do clean material and one of my favorite clean bits was this story about him. The restaurant one? Him having a hard, thinking he had a heart attack and I didn't want to call an ambulance, which is so fucked up, but hilarious. But I was like, it's just not the scene. And he could have been like, don't do that on Fallon.

And I would have been fucked. Like I wouldn't have had material for it. And he was like, go for it. Like, this is hilarious and make fun of me. And I was like, oh. I love you. I love you. Thank you for letting me make fun of you on national TV.

Oh my God. I love that. Thank you for letting me make fun of you on national TV. Oh my God. I love that he just embraces it. Yeah. And I know, and I'm excited for like when he'll be on Fallon one day making fun of me. It's going to be so good. And that's, we're freaky. That's how we, that's how we flirt. Top comment on this one.

You should give him that divorce. For your own sake. Not the asshole, but your husband is 10,000% the asshole. Leave that abusive fuck. Yeah. OP responds, thank you. I told him I don't need him and I'll be just fine on my own. He doesn't think so.

So I guess we will find out that he has been really lucky to have me. Ooh, now I really feel we write at Dawn vibes because he basically said, I don't believe in you. And she's about to do one of those girl things where she's about to get a degree at Harvard or she's going to get a whole makeover and feel so hot and start her passion. She's about to level up.

The out of spite pop off. I love a girl leveling up after a relationship that she realized was weighing her down. Like she was doing you a favor, truly. Like you were charity work and you disrespected a queen and she's gonna go show you now. It's so funny the like crazy leveling up that girls do. I didn't even know, you don't even know it's possible

and you're like, wow, that man was making you tired. I love when a guy does it too. Like when you know there's like a woman who's just like taking advantage of a guy and then he does the flip and he's like, no, no, no. Like I'm gonna actually get with the nice girl, not the mean girl, not the pick me. Well, they seem lighter.

Like everything about them. You ever see someone after getting out of a relationship and you're like, who are you? The glow. The glow. Like after they're over that initial like, the glow that people get. It's so amazing to see.

And it's so scary, but like there's light at the other side. I know. We have an update on this one. Wow. I am so overwhelmed with all of the encouragement and kind posts. I had a few not so friendly ones and I wish you'd refrain from making me feel worse by saying hurtful stuff. Unfortunately, this is true and I don't make it up. I do feel the need to clarify a few things since I seem to have not chosen the best wording in my hasty post yesterday.

One, he has not been doing this for a year. This started a couple of weeks ago. We both work from home and are home 24-7. 2. No, I do not walk around naked. He's poking my butt through my clothes, so not penetrating, but it hurts and he knows that. 3. My children are safe, as am I. I did call police last night and had him removed from the home. I've started to talk to a lawyer and will move things along as needed. 4. My husband did call today and I had shut my phone off for a while, hence the late update. But he, of course, is apologizing and doesn't want to divorce. He offered counseling, so we will look into that. I don't know how I feel just

yet about trying to make this work, but we will see. Thank you again for reaching out. I haven't been able to reply to everyone, but I will try. Wow. Wow. I mean, she definitely doesn't need to make a hasty move, but I'm really proud of her for clearly putting her foot down. Yeah. And it's weird to me, like, yeah, they're working at home together, but like, what came over him that these last couple weeks he started doing that

and what had he been doing before that was similar? Or like, was it, is he now a new guy in the last couple weeks he started doing that and what had he been doing before that was similar? Or like was it, is he now a new guy in the last couple weeks? It is quite strange because yeah, I wonder what was like the gateway to the slapping. Exactly. Did this start with the poke? Did this start with the tummy poke? Yeah, it was a little tickle. This is quite odd.

Yeah. Quite odd. Yeah. And very concerning. Interesting. But I think she's on the right path to figure out what's best for her. I think so. Seems like she's getting a lot of support in the comments. She's obviously like she says, I feel embarrassed. I feel like a complete idiot. Like talking about her kids. My boys are all young, but they'll definitely be told it's never okay to hit anyone. I think she's also feeling embarrassed about the reaction, but I think there is something to be said about the reactive abuse. It's kind of like when you get pushed and pushed and pushed, what do you do? It's not okay that she reacted and hit him, but then again, he after punched her in the

stomach. Like they're both just at points of like, clearly not good. This is toxic. This is unhealthy. Something needs to happen here. Drop the pin, divine intervention. I don't know. But moving along. Moving along.

Another one of this week's partners is Rocket Money. Do you think you could tell me every subscription you have right now? I know I couldn't before I started using Rocket Money. I actually found out I was paying for the same streaming subscription twice. And I'm not on my own in this. I just found out that 74% of people have subscriptions

they've forgotten about. And how often are you really going through everything on your credit card statement? Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. My favorite part that I've found with Rocket Money is they'll actually even try to negotiate your bills lower for you. Whatever Rocket Money does for you though, it's all going to be easy to track and see. There's a very clear dashboard where you can see all your expenses

across all your accounts and you can even create a budget. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million in cancelled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the app's features. If you're ready to try it for yourself, stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash tht. That's rocketmoney.com slash tht. Rocketmoney.com slash tht. If you haven't watched Hannah's special yet, what are you doing? What are you doing?

We're sitting here, we went like way off tangent in between stories and I'm just like, I'm here just like talking about how much I love this special. No, like having like cool girls like you love it is all I wanted. It's so good. I'm gonna go watch it again. And you're so right about Beast. He's so hot. Beast is hot. So hot. I say that he looks like Travis Kelsey.

Why do I see it now? They're just big and burly and they have a good like furry. Why do I see it now? Why do I see it? I wanna pick you up occasionally get mad. Literally I see it. Okay, this next one is coming from A.I.T.H. seven days old. It is titled, Am I the asshole for rejecting my friend's request to have an open relationship with my husband? request to have an open relationship with my husband? I, 30 female, have been married to my husband, 32 male, for five years. We have two beautiful kids, five male... What's that math? I'm like, how long have they been married? I'm like, wait, how old are these kids? Okay, okay, I got it now. We have two beautiful kids, five male and six female, and have a very strong relationship

and are happy together. Recently, my friend, Lisa, 29 female, confided in me that she has developed feelings for my husband. She said that she finds him attractive and admires our relationship, and she asked if we would consider having an open relationship So she could be with him, too. I was shocked and told her no Explaining that my husband and I are committed to each other and that we are not interested in an open relationship Lisa got upset and accused me of being selfish

And close-minded selfish and close-minded. What the fuck is going on? Are we taking crazy pills right now? She argued that modern relationships should be flexible, that I was denying her happiness. Since then, Lisa has been distant and has been spreading rumors in our friend group, suggesting that I am overly possessive and controlling. This has caused a lot of tension, and some of our mutual friends are now taking sides. My husband is supportive of my decision, but I feel guilty for the drama it has caused. So am I the asshole for rejecting my friend's request to have an open relationship with my husband?

This is so fucking layered. Also I wanted to know more about the husband because all she said was he supports the decision. I'm like what, what was his role in this maybe? Like are they flirting in the background? Like how did he tell her to ask? Oh, but also I don't want to put it on him, maybe. But also, where'd you meet Lisa? Is this her thing?

Has she been fucking everyone's husband? Ooh. And why are people picking sides? Like, is Lisa in your relationship too, to where you're like, oh, I get it, it's just Lisa. You know, she's really fun. That's Lisa. Like, what do you mean you're picking sides?

She called someone selfish for not wanting to share their husband? Also there's a thing where like if there was miscommunication she was spreading lies. That's when you do like we need to do a group zoom or like when you sit down and have like a tell all of what's actually going on just to make sure. Not to tell all. Like a CNET. When you do a CNET, whatever, like get all the, get a government, whatever people do, Speaker of the House situation and be like, this is what was asked, this is what I said, how is our people taking sides on this? I'm so confused. Yeah, what?

Also, what if Lisa just like likes the idea of someone's husband and likes that he's unattainable. And then the second you open up the marriage, you fucking don't like him and you ruined someone's marriage. I don't get it. I'm like, you don't really know him. You don't know him. What you see is not him and being in a relationship with him.

And also once you cross that little line with your friends, there's no going back. And here's what worries me sometimes. And even like with just a casual threesome and all this, what if they like it better than what you had, but you're married, so like, then you're getting divorced. Well, and you're the one with the kids and like he gets excited of like a new fresh thing. This is so, I'm not about it.

It's one thing if she brought it up, she wants to spice up her marriage. But this is the kind of thing that if you find yourself having, also crushes are so weird. I can make myself have a crush on a plant. If I'm going through something, I need to like, you project stuff onto anything. Like talk to your therapist about this, keep it to yourself.

What happened to just like not saying every, I mean, I say everything that comes into my head, but like don't, you shouldn't. You can have secrets. Have a secret. It's okay to have a little secret. You can have a crush on someone. I like if people are like think my husband's hot.

Like, that's fun. Don't attack me for not letting you fuck my husband. I'm like, isn't that why people get married? So they don't have to share ever again? Literally. So you don't have to be dating again when you have a full family. And that's selfish.

She is like a little gaslighting queen, that Lisa. I wonder if her name's really Lisa. I wonder if she outed her like that. Top comment, not the asshole. Tell the friends that are on her side to let her fuck their husbands. Oh my God, iconic. Iconic. Let's have a party. Oh my god, that's a good line. That's great. Next comment down, seriously do this. You are 100% in the right here. Your ex friend is so self-absorbed that it beggars belief?

That it beggars belief? Oh, I've never heard that before. It beggars belief. Beggars belief. Okay. Lisa acting like they owe her sex. No is a full answer. That's the other thing.

What if the husband isn't even like in her or attracted her or like... That's why I wanted some more info from the husband. Like I wanted the husband to be like, well, that's no. And like I would never and like tell her stop. Like why are friends even being like, yeah, give her a chance with your husband. Like that's so weird to me. Like maybe they're having an affair. God.

Maybe they've been having it. I mean, I'm just... And this was trying to like, and this was her trying to make it more acceptable. Basically the husband's like, I'm not going to leave my woman for you. So she's trying to open up the marriage. Fuck.

And some people know, look, I don't know. Also, I like making up that all these people are the same. I pretend that this is Lisa is the girl who also announced her pregnancy at the marriage at the wedding and she's pregnant with her husband's head. Yeah, it's the two hot takes multiverse. It's all connected and interwoven. It's all connected. It's like a bunch of Sims characters. It really is. That's how I look at them. I'm like, I just remember these are all my little kids. We do have an update. After reading some of your comments, I decided to bring the group out for

coffee and told them all about what Lisa said and the real story. I also showed them the Reddit post. After showing them, there were two girls that were still on Lisa's side. So I took some advice from the comments and said, quote, let Lisa fuck your husband. Then you can be on her side. After that, everyone was on my side, thankfully. Also, don't be friends with those girls anymore. No, still. Let's not.

You have the post, you have what Lisa said, and you're still going to be like, yeah, that's fine. Lisa should be able to fuck your husband. Yeah. That's fine. Lisa wasn't happy at all, and she started ranting about how it, quote, wasn't fair. She, quote, just wanted to experiment something new, and it wasn't even that bad of a request. You're making it such a big deal, which I didn't get.

Me and the rest of the group have officially cut contact with Lisa, just hoping she doesn't try to reach out. We'll update if something happens. Also, just clarifying that Lisa also asked my husband for an open marriage. He also rejected it saying that, quote, "'Even if I was, I would never want to go out with you.

Okay, so what's, what is the argument here? It's almost like she's trying to ruin all her friendships and she's like, what's the worst thing I could do? Let's go up to one of my friends and get mad at her for not letting me fuck her husband. Some kind of weird self-sabotaging behavior. Also the husband, the husband, like, ate with that line. Even if she was open to it, I wouldn't want to be with you. Ooh, good job.

Period. Good job. Slay. Go off, King. Wow. I would be embarrassed if I was this woman. I would tail between my legs, go hide in a hole, and she's doubling down? I know that like, in Utah, they were like, remember all the Mormons were like hooking

up with each other's husbands that it got kind of weird and crazy. Yeah. But this doesn't sound like that group. No. It's also giving like their other men in the world, how small is your community that you feel like he's the only freaky moment you can have. There's so many other ways. Come on Craigslist.

Have you looked at that Let's Meet thing Craigslist has? No. Is it new or is it? No. I think it's been around for a while, but it's literally that. It's like, big husky man looking for petite busty blonde. Like, I'm like, whoa. We made him Russian.

Big busty blonde. I'm like, okay, like if this actually works, like- I know like foot fetish stuff, like does really well there. Are you on wiki feet? I actually am. I actually am and I found out because Michael Blaustein from... Does he have a foot fetish? Stiff socks, he's obsessed with feet and we looked it up.

He told me I had a nice arch and then my head got big and I started to get cocky and then I was like, well, now we know what I can do. Hannah, your feet are on here a lot. Wait, really? They're... Because I haven't looked in like a year or two years. What's my rating? Look at your feet.

Okay, see that was fucked up of me. And that was years ago. That was like five years ago before I knew that that was a good thing. Hannah was like knowingly giving the feet people exactly what they wanted. But that was before people knew that... Look at the bottoms of those feet. That's where he said I have a nice arch. Wow.

You were really serving on the feet. I hate to say it, but that first guy would be like, that's the kind of loaf of foot. They have your shoe size on here. They have it wrong probably. What do they have? Nine. No, I'm an eight. Edit.

Don't believe anything you see online. You have one of the highest ratings I think I've seen. You almost have full five stars. This is my thing. How do I monetize this? You literally start posting just feet on OnlyFans or Patreon. What people don't realize is I have tennis feet where I've lost my nails so many times. I do not.

And I also have hairy toes. I have a hairy top. Some people would pay extra for that. I like your thinking. Yeah. There's a market for anything. A literal entrepreneur. There's a market for everything.

So yeah. Who would pay extra for Hannah's hairy toe? Yeah. I also have hair on the top of my foot, too. Sometimes I shave it, but I don't have to shave it if you don't want me to. Like... She'll offer options, a la carte experience. So people are like, one day you might get a Netflix special and be able to sell your foot pics still?

I'm like so... Dream big. Yeah. I mean, look at this one of you and Paige and your feet just primed. Look at those little toes. Look at the toe bend. It's so funny because when you don't know about foot fetishes, you're not like, oh, that's my feet primed.

That's just me in a bathing suit. I mean, yeah, I never would have... I don't know. I never would have thought like, oh, this pictures... Do you think differently of me now? That you know that I have a 4.9 on wiki feet? Well, I just gave you 5 too, so hopefully it ups the average. Yeah, I rated, I rated.

I gave you a 5-star beautiful feet. Do you know that if you search in the podcast app, Harry Italians, Giggly Squad comes up? Oh my god! I don't know why, maybe because we've called ourselves Harry Italians so many times, the algorithm finds us. But um... That's insane.

That's some SEO like optimization. That's great. Because we don't even have an episode that's titled it. It's very weird. That's wild. I just looked up someone like you've worked with recently, Miss Halle Bieber. And I was like, let me see where your feet compare to hers.

She has five stars as well. You're like neck and neck. We're neck and neck. You're neck and neck. Come over your throat. I've never been on WikiFeet before in my entire life. You're having a little too much fun. Are you on it?

I don't think so. I don't, there's no so. I think you need to search. There's no way. I think you need to search. There's no way. No results. Well, someone listening is about to start talking. No results. I don't post my feet.

I literally have a saying, no free feet pics. But I feel like five years ago, that wasn't like a thing. I don't know. People weren't as aware. I don't think you could find one foot pic on mine. But they say people on Snapchat just post their feet to get engagement. That's a tactic. It's a tactic.

You gotta do, I guess. I feel like every girl should at least be making side money from their feet. That should just be a thing. Why not? Why not? Why not? What's the harm? Use what God gave you.

I know. I would be so down for my fiance having an OnlyFans and like posting milk bath pictures. I'd be cool with it. What's milk bath? Oh my God. So you fill up your bath with water and then add milk and it makes it cloudy.

And people will take like very sexually artistic. Doesn't always have to be sexual. It can be very just tasteful and artistic. But like you can't see anything really. Yeah, only what you pop up above the water. Yes. Wait, is that like a thing on OnlyFans? I don't know, but I thought there was a market for it.

And so I was always like, I'd be done with you doing that. I love that our algorithms are so different. Like a lot of people do it for maternity shoots, I will say. Milk bath shoot. Okay. But imagine just like a dude in a tub and just popping up above the surface is, that could sell.

I mean, my husband could definitely have his Addy Only fans. There's definitely a market for it. I think so. For sure, he just tells you old stories and takes Advil. The Silver Fox, that could be the name. The Silver Fox. The Silver Fox. He just be the name. The Silver Fox. The Silver Fox. He just complains about his lower back. Just talking about his physical therapy.

Talks about the 80s. Oh my God. He was around during that time? Oh yeah. He was his prime. No, I actually feel like your age gap, like you make it seem so healthy, because I'm usually not a fan. I think I've told you that. Yeah. And you just like, your relationship is so cute. Like the whole COVID start and your lockdown. And then like you got engaged within...

Six months. Yeah. Because honestly, my parents did. So like it was kind of my love story in my head. But I do have to say age gaps, I think not good in your twenties. Like when you're in your twentiess, your brain is forming still. You're not making a lot of money.

You're figuring out yourself. You can get taken advantage of. That, it's just the power imbalance. It's the power imbalance. There's gotta be equal. I don't fuck with. That's why I love, like if you're in your 30s, you're single, go for these older guys

because you're actually like on a similar wavelength as them. That's like with age gaps, it's not the age itself. It's the power imbalance that typically will accompany it. And I was financially independent when I met him. I knew what I wanted to do. Thriving. And I knew what kind of guys I liked. So I literally say like, I'll do my jokes at colleges

and I'll be like, this is not for girls who are 20. Deal with men your own age. You don't know what's going on either. Or like fingering you and it feels horrible. Just keep doing that until you're ready to graduate. Find Bucky the mascot, you know? Yes, make some stories. Make some stories.

Ride around on those athlete scooters. We ride at dawn. Oh my God, look at you. Just the big sis advice everyone needs. Well, there isn't an update on this one past the dinner, past the coffee with friends, which I love that you were like, get everyone together, do a tell-all. She does have something in the comments that she has been considering cutting off those two that agreed with Lisa for a while. So,

yeah, that's weird to me. I think they're on their way out. I think they're on their way out. I want to know what Lisa's up to right now. Trying to find someone else's husband. Yeah, there's so many people out there. So many people find your own. You don't need to double up. Find your own or find a community that's into that stuff.

There's those out there too. Yeah, I've always wondered about the naked cults. Same. It'd be a hard bit to commit to. But I feel like it's one of those things that you just get so used to. Like at first you're like, oh my God, there's schlongs being thrown around.

And then four days in, you're just like, I don't care. Just you go a little blind to it. Nose blind almost, eyebrow blind. I'm like, I started getting really worried about my eyebrows after that. Oh my God. Now you've great eyebrows. They're microbladed. That helps. They look great. I need to get them touched up. Enough about me. I don't like attention. I'm like, I'm the opposite. I'm like, give Hannah all the attention. I don't want it. No. Oh my God.

Another one of this week's partners is Babbel. We are way more than halfway through the year. And I know on my list this year was learning a new language and I'm working on it, but not as much as I want to be. And I definitely don't want to get to 2025 hoping for the same goal of learning that new language. And if you're in that same boat as me, let me introduce you to Babbel.

Babbel is the science-backed language learning app that gets you talking. There's no more wasting hundreds of dollars on private tutors or using the old school way. Babbel is just better. There's studies to prove it from Yale, Michigan State, and others that using Babbel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college.

Think about something in your life that you've wasted 15 hours doing. You could have been putting it towards Babbel. And there's no need to get overwhelmed with all of this. Babbel's 10-minute language lessons are quick, and they're handcrafted by over 200 language experts to get you ready for talking your new language in as little as three weeks. So if you're ready to try for yourself, here's a special limited- time deal for our listeners.

Right now, get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash THT. Get up to 60% off at babbel.com slash THT, spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash THT. Rules and restrictions may apply. Oh, okay. this one is fresh. This next one is only a day old. Coming from Am I the Asshole titled, Am I the Asshole for getting into an argument with

my husband because he left me during surgery? Uh huh. What kind of surgery? I have follow-up questions. I am a 25-year-old female and my husband, 27, and I have been together for almost four years. We do not have any kids together. I had a same-day lumpectomy surgery yesterday. The tumor is not believed to be malignant, but I wanted it out since my mother had breast cancer. My husband got the day off work and drove me.

The surgery was delayed for about three hours and my husband was getting impatient. The surgeon finally came in and said she expected the surgery would take about an hour. After she left, my husband said he was going to leave the hospital to get lunch when I went under, since he hadn't eaten that day. I wanted him to be able to eat and was trying to be brave, but I really didn't want to be left when the surgery was only supposed to be an hour, so I asked him if we could pick him up food on the way home. He gave me the impression that he would stay, and I was then wheeled away.

Fast forward to 30 minutes later. I was being shaken awake by a nurse who told me I was sick and she was trying to get in touch with my husband. Apparently, during the surgery, my blood pressure dropped rapidly and my surgeon was able to get the tumor out in 20 minutes, but my BP was 70 over 30 by the time they got it out and my lips had turned blue. I was very sick in my room. I was bleeding through my internal stitches, coming in and out of consciousness and was vomiting.

All the while, my nurse was trying to track down my husband. My surgeon called him, but he did not even answer her. I'm very thankful for the sweet nurses who took care of me and reassured me. It is the next day now, and I'm very emotional and angry about the whole ordeal." My husband did not apologize and has been incredibly defensive about the whole thing. His explanation for leaving was, quote, I went out and got lunch, and then I was getting gas because I was low from driving your ass around. The surgery was supposed to be an hour. How was I supposed to know your heart could have stopped?

I told him he had one job, which was to stay with me and tell me what the surgeon said. I could get over him leaving if he was apologetic or remorseful, but I'm shocked at his words slash how little he seems to care for someone he claims to love. In his defense, he cared for me last night when we got home, but left today after we argued. I'm sure I'm just still really emotional from anesthesia and I'm being a bit dramatic, but I can't even look at him the same. He is usually attentive and caring, so I'm pretty baffled. I'm sure he thought the chances of anything going wrong were slim, but I can't understand his thought process. I sat for hours and hours in waiting rooms during all of my mom's breast cancer procedures and was nervous to even leave for a minute to get food.

God forbid I don't have cancer because I don't trust him with anything medical now. Anyways, I'm unsure what I hope to get from writing this to strangers. I just needed to vent. Am I the asshole? Wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow. I mean, obviously, this man did not knowingly leave her when she was, you know, sick. Yeah. But it was obviously always a possibility.

Always. It's kind of giving like, he immediately got defensive instead of like, this is one of those relationship moments where sometimes they'll get mad at you and you really didn't mean it. And that's the moment when you say, like, you don't say, well, I didn't do it on purpose, so I'm not apologizing. That's when you literally say, I'm fucking sorry,

and you learn from it. Like, this is one of those weird, just like, annoying things where she literally said, if he just said sorry and learned and realized he fucked up, we can move on. Yeah. It's super annoying and scary. It's really scary. And I think you're right, like, it does happen so often where people are just unwilling to fall on their sword.

And it doesn't have to be a sword. It could be like you slept on a pebble one night. It's just, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah, I feel like in the beginning of some relationships, I've had guys say something that hurt my feelings. And I'd be like, I just want you to say sorry because it upset me. And they're like, well, I wasn't trying to upset you,

so I'm not gonna say sorry. It doesn't matter if you're trying or not. You're like, I just want to move on knowing that you understood what happened, so it won't happen again. Yes. And like, also it's about like, it hurt me, regardless if you were trying to or not,

and aren't you sorry that I was hurt. I feel like a lot of times people, they overthink an apology. Yeah. They overthink it. I love apologizing. I throw it around left and right. I mean, if you...

Because I'm fucking up left and right. We all are. We're human. You're going to make mistakes. You're going to treat someone poorly. You're going to be perceived a certain way. Yes. And you can't control that.

I would look at an apology more so as like that person just wants to know you were listening and you heard them. You recognize that they were hurt. It doesn't mean you're getting in trouble. It doesn't mean you're going to jail. It's literally just an acknowledgement of I understood how it affected you. You're not a bad person. You're not whatever, insert, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

It's just you recognize them, you see them, you hear them, and you're going to make a more conscious effort to not do it again. That's all it is. You're so right about that. Because saying sorry is not this admission of guilt to being a bad person. It's an acknowledgment of their feelings

and how whatever you did hurt them, which you obviously don't, it's basically being like, I don't want to hurt you. That's all it is. And I'm going to work on making sure that doesn't happen again. Yes, yes. I'm so, like, I so much would rather someone say sorry

in like any situation I can move forward. Absolutely. But if you don't say sorry, you just don't know if they even knew what they did wrong. Exactly. But on the flip side of that, you need to be able to communicate your feelings and why you're upset,

because otherwise that's unfair to the other person. People aren't psychics. You have to like, it's a two way street. She's clearly, she's doing that. And I'm annoyed with like, she was like, can you please just stay? Like like just stay so you're here. Like hospitals have cafeterias, dude. If you're hungry, go to there.

You get a snack. There's a new chain bar. Bring snacks, like plan ahead. Like, but then to be like, okay, I'm not going to leave. And then you still leave. I hate when people lie or like think like, oh, she's not going to know she's going to be under, she'll be none the wiser.

I hate that. Then you have people calling your phone, like clearly something's going on. Why aren't you answering? You're not answering the nurse, you're not answering the surgeon, you're getting multiple phone calls. Why aren't you answering?

Well, this is also, I wonder about him, like has something happened to him where he doesn't like being in a caretaking role because of something like this is again like... Some trauma, maybe he has? Maybe he has. It's like this is a marriage and being in a caretaking role because of something like this is again like Some trauma? Maybe he has? Maybe he has. It's like this is a marriage and I don't think it's as simple as like he doesn't go fuck about you Like let's delve into like why this happened Yeah

You know and but I also don't like that like two days later they get in a fight and he left her Like I don't like the whole leaving No Like yeah go upstairs maybe breathe some, like take a moment. Don't leave her. No. And like, what if she is sick? Yeah. Like, I get having like medical trauma and like you stuff like that makes you anxious. And so you messed up, you left. Now you feel guilty or embarrassed. So you're not admitting you're, you know, you're not apologizing. But at the same time, like, where do you go from here?

What if she is sick? What if she has to do something else in the future? What happens when you guys, if you have kids, how are you gonna react in that situation? It's like, you need to nip this in the bud now. I do also, she said in the past, he's been good at caretaking, so that's also weird. I feel like some people have different love languages.

I know my like my brother, um, like wasn't that good a care taking. And then like his wife was having migraines and she had to kind of teach him like what she needs. Cause he's like, do you want me like there? Do you want me not there? And she was like, once I told him what to do, he was great. But so it's like, maybe this guy didn't realize that while she was under, he was great. So it's like maybe this guy didn't realize that while she was under, he needed to be there. Like some guys are very like too logical. Yeah.

Where they're like, you're literally, you're under. You're under, like I can go get food and I'm not gonna apologize cause of this freak accident. It sounds like he's just being stubborn and he needs to fucking say sorry. Yeah.

And I do think it's like, OP being like, oh, can't we just get food on the way home? Like I understand why he didn't want to do that because in my head I'm like, well, you have a surgery for an hour, then you're in post-op, you're recovering, blah, blah, blah.

Like you're not leaving for another three hours. When I'm hungry, I got to eat. Like I'm a hangry, hangry girl. I'm just saying why with that. So I get that, but cafeteria at the hospital, door a dash, call a friend to bring you a sandwich, I don't know, but don't leave. I'm trying to think, like, if I was in his position

and I did leave, like, that is, it's such bad luck. And that's when you literally have to, like, look at the person and be like, that was so fucked up of me I'm such an asshole, and I'm so sorry and like I learned now like I'm not fucking with like Leaving you ever again, and that would help so much in the situation. That's all it would be I was an asshole is like so healing I think for both people yeah If you can get the other person that was an asshole to like actually It's so healing. I think for both people. Yeah. Seriously.

If you can get the other person that was an asshole to actually do that, why is it so hard? Because it wasn't on purpose. No. I mean, yeah, he was a little lying, and he was being annoying. But you ended up being more of an asshole than you anticipated because of bad luck. Yeah.

And just own it. You got to own it. Top comment on this one. I think we know where it's going to go, right? Not the asshole. I'm really sorry you went through that and he's not being supportive. Did he actually say, quote, from driving your ass around? That's incredibly insensitive. OP responds, he did.

That was the comment that really turned into an argument. It's also hard because things get emotional. I know. And then like he just probably was, he was probably really frustrated. But again, don't get mad at her because that happened and you didn't anticipate it. I mean, it's just like,

I don't know why he feels the need to slough off all these excuses. Like, well, I needed to get food and then I had to stop and get gas. Those are both two things that still don't excuse you not answering your phone. Exactly, exactly. Where was your phone?

What were you actually doing? Because I don't think you were just getting gas and food. Or he was like, I'm not answering these calls, which is weirder. Your wife is in an operating room and you don't answer a phone call? Likely showing up caller ID, blah, blah, blah, hospital. Those iPhones are smart.

They know when a spam is calling. Yeah, it's true. What was he doing? Look at these conspiracy theories we started. Is he with Lisa? I think he is with Lisa. Lisa found a husband to steal. He's with Lisa.

But again, this also could just be like learning how to fight better, where like he doesn't get super defensive because she was pissed off. Yeah. Like, like let your person's going to get pissed off sometimes. And it doesn't always mean they hate you. They just need you to hear them and to apologize. I know. It's OK to pop the lid here and then, but it's like how do you come back from it after? And if you can't connect and

communicate? It's also that weird like pre-kid time. Yeah. You're kind of keeping an eye on your man to be like, is he capable of like being there? Uh-huh. For the family. So I think it's like it was extra hurtful to her to be like you're gonna be the father of my children and you left me for dead. Essentially. Literally left me for dead. Essentially. I mean a blood pressure 70 over 30. So scary.

That's that's borderline like you're going you're going down cardiac arrest. And when you were saying that I was like my God, he's gonna be so upset. Like he's gonna be so apologetic. So it's really, it's less him going to get food because I am a crazy food person like that too. It's more the after effect of how he dealt with it. That's the thing. Just fall on the sword, friends.

It's okay. It won't kill you. I promise. Someone else goes, that's honestly awful. Also, does the hospital not have a cafe? Someone responds, oh it does. You see, this event wasn't about him. It was supposed to be about OP. So he made it about him by ditching and then talking down to his wife. I saw my father do the same to my mother. He called it a waste of time to be at the hospital during her mastectomy. Unfortunately, they're still married and it's so obvious how much they hate each other.

OP, you are not the asshole. Take a hard look at your relationship. This is how it will be. He won't change. He will actually get worse. I'm not sure anyone deserves to be so unhappy." Wow. he will actually get worse. I'm not sure anyone deserves to be so unhappy. Wow.

Wow, because they just made it bigger of like, this is who the dude is. And everyone, it's about making about yourself. It was him basically being like, you're not that important. Like my hunger is way more important than like anything that could happen to you. Yeah. And I think you do like, you have such a good point

about this is kind of a trial period in life, like before kids and making sure your partner's capable because someone does say the next comment down and take a hard look at your relationship before you decide to have kids if you think that's in your future. And there is something so scary and vulnerable when you're in that position in a hospital. I remember I got my appendix, like was appendicitis. And my parents drove me when I first started dating my husband. And it was during COVID. So they literally like just had to drop me off.

And I was just lying there and no one knew what it was. They were giving me like Advil and I was like, no, this is really bad. Holy shit. And my husband at the time was calling me and he like drove and just sat in the parking lot for like a couple hours. Stop. Why am I going to cry? And I think he's also, he was good at like dealing with like, I'm literally like, what the fuck Hannah? That's, you got a good one! Oh my god!

No, but that's why I was like, I'm marrying this man. I see why you got engaged in six months. That was beautiful! That was like two months in. And I like wasn't responding because I was just lying there with my phone and he was just like with my parents scared. But it's those moments that like you can see how much people care. That's the thing like when people show up in times of need But it's those moments that like you can you can see how much people care

That's the thing like when people show up in times of need Like ride or die forever like truly and it's like this was his moment. This was this was a moment You don't know if it's not cancerous yet. You don't know and you know, it's so fucking fucked up? I do a joke on stage. Oh God, okay. I'm ready. I'll make you laugh. Yeah, this is a transition. I wouldn't even call an ambulance on him when he thought I was having a heart attack.

But I did a joke on stage about how we went to Aspen for the first time and he was skiing and I didn't want to ski and I wanted to get lunch when he was done skiing. And he calls me and he's like, we can't go to lunch. Like I'm at the hospital. I think I tore my ACL. So I went and got lunch.

Are you him? I am the man. No, but he basically was like being really tough about it. And we also joked, we're like, no one feels bad for you because you hurt yourself skiing in Aspen when you literally shouldn't have been doing like the hardest whatever. He's going down Black Diamond.

He literally took like a video like I'm about to go down. I had to hike up something crazy. Like he was being wild. So I didn't feel, I felt really bad, but I also was annoyed at him. You ruined lunch. But he also was like, Hey, like it's I'm okay. Like there's a lot of stuff going on. So like I got us two burritos.

I brought it. But then when you go and you see your person, like he had a neck brace on and I joked that I got the ick from it. Oh my God. I really, you like have a different, like you're literally like, oh my God, I'm so scared with him.

Yeah. So yeah, these traumatic moments, I feel like can really make or break relationships. Like you either realize how much you care about someone or you're like, wait, I'm leaving them for dead. Yeah. Well, and they're so young too. She's 25.

Oh my gosh. 25. Again, I don't love getting married before your brain's fully formed. And it works out a lot of the time, but it's a risk. How old were you when you got married? I think 30 or 31. Which is kind of young for my friends in New York. That's the thing about like here too.

Like I'm planning for a 2025 wedding. By that point I'll be 31. And like I will be like my friends that are in Minnesota, they're kind of like, it's different. They're still in the Midwest. You do get married, you know, your 20s there. I'm the only one in my friend group who's married. And that will be me here. I'll be the only one in LA that's married here.

So it's like, it's so interesting, like geography can like impact stuff like that. Yeah, and your perspective of what's right time. But I have a friend in Minnesota that like she was divorced by 30. And I think there's something to that. Perfect. No, I think there is because you get that like she was divorced by 30. And I think there's something to that. Perfect. No, I think, I think there is because you get that like fear out of the way, that fear

of like starting over, that fear of abandonment, that fear of like that sunk in cost fallacy where you're like, well, we've been together since we were 19 and in high school and like, this is, this is my person. No, no, no, this is not your person. It's okay to check out and move on. No, divorce is so powerful. And also, like, even for people who are older, there's a whole wave of divorcees in their like late 30s and 40s that you find, or someone could be really right for you when you're 22. Yeah, and they're not right for you. When you've both evolved

and changed, people grow, people grow, grow together. And sometimes they don Yeah. And they're not right for you when you've both evolved and changed. People grow. People grow. And sometimes they grow together and sometimes they don't. And that's not your fault. That's not your fault. It's not your fault.

But this man, I'm out of him. I hope the food was worth it. I hope the sandwich was worth it. I think the sandwich was someone else. I think he went to lunch with someone else. I don't think he was doing what he said he was. And that is just my gut. I don't know what it is.

Well, yeah, because it's such a weird behavior. There's no way you don't answer your phone unless you're doing something that you're really not supposed to be doing. Lunch and gas, that's excusable. But like, this is something else is fishy. And then to like stick to the argument that he didn't do anything wrong, maybe there is something deeper. I think so.

I really think so. I love when we enable each other to be like, yep, he's having 10 affairs right now. Okay, I just Googled, not Googled, Command F, where you can like search the page. Yeah. And I did cheat just to see if anyone else is on the same page with us. Someone goes, hate to say it, but this is immediately where my mind ran to. Cheating. Even if he'd gone down the block to a restaurant and sat there to eat, he knew his wife was in surgery. Keep the phone on the table and see if you get a call.

Yeah. Stopping to get gas too? Well, take the phone with you outside while you're waiting at the pump. See an unknown number during a time like this? Common sense says it's the hospital. The hospital could have been calling to say anything and he did not pick up the fucking phone. He's cheating. Wow. I think something's going on here. Yeah, because it's giving like addict behavior where it's like you don't do things you would normally do to like get something else. Yeah.

Like what was he chasing? Something's going on. OP has since deleted her account. Like can't look at comments from OP, can't look for anything, account's deleted. So- What do you think that means? I think she's getting answers. Like I think maybe like with the cheating stuff coming up, maybe it's just like, okay, this is too much.

Like I'm overwhelmed, delete. But I think this is someone who I think will have a wake up call from this post, especially having a mom that went through breast cancer and at 25 is getting a lumpectomy. Breast cancer has a genetic connection. This was a glimpse. This was a speeding ticket. It's not a full tire spike. You're locked up.

You're getting off with a warning is what I'm trying to say. Take it. Don't look that gift horse in the mouth No, no You take it and you ride down the road on that little pony you go you wanted to bring up ponies anytime I can anytime Another one of this week's partners is stitch fix going to a store and shopping for new clothes can be so overwhelming and leave you feeling terrible, but that's where Stitch Fix is going to come in. With Stitch Fix, you're going to get a stylist who understands your style, size, and budget,

and they do all the hard work of that shopping for you. You're going to get personalized pieces that fit well, are high quality, and the pieces that you've wanted in your closet. My favorite part about Stitch Fix is that you can actually upload photos that you've seen on social media or outfits that you've really tried to find and your stylist will go to work trying to find that same vibe. My issues with clothes is I know what I like but I don't know how to put it together and having a Stitch Fix stylist who picks out a couple pieces but then gives me a

variety of ways to wear it, has been so, so nice. So no more stores, no crowds, no stress, just personalized looks that you're gonna love. So if you're ready to try for yourself, personal styling is for everyone. Get started today at stitchfix.com slash THT. That's stitchfix.com slash THT. Okay, this next one, something else is going on here too.

It is 23 hours old, coming from AITAH, titled, Am I the Asshole for Breaking Up with My Girlfriend? After She Set Up Cameras in Our Apartment, quote, In Case I Abuse Her. I need help. I'm a 25-year-old male and my ex-girlfriend is a 24-year-old female. We were together for three years, and marriage was definitely in our future. Basically, my ex always loved true crime, but she was getting really into domestic violence true crime. She had been down the DV rabbit hole for about four to six months, I want to say,

before she really started acting weird with me. She didn't want me to have her location, which we mutually had for safety purposes. She was telling her mom, sister, and friends everything I did. She was being skittish around me, kept a diary when she had never had one before, and would basically just be overly cautious around me. I'm diary when she had never had one before, and would basically just be overly cautious around me. I'm not too sure how to describe it. You could just see that she was being weird. Even at gatherings, my family asked me if we were fighting because she seemed overly

cautious around me and was only sticking with the women. It was really starting to get to me, but I didn't want her suspicions to be right, so I didn't do anything about it. She had told me that as a man, I have to understand. That DV happens all the time. Even perfect men suddenly end up abusers, and that I was no different. It really, really got to me. All I could think then, and even now, is that I'm nothing like those men. I get that it could be anyone, but seriously, I don't even kill bugs. I take them outside. She had never even been in an abusive relationship either.

This behavior was so unlike her, but I felt like there was nothing I could do because of her position. If I reacted badly, she would be right, and I know I'm not an abuser, so I just took it. We had been together for three entire years, and she really thought I would suddenly do something to her? I've never even raised my voice at her, and I came from a broken home with Divi. She knows that. I would never treat a woman or child, man or animal that way.

A few days ago, she put up cameras, and I noticed pretty quickly because she didn't hide them well. When I confronted her, she told me it was for her safety and peace of mind, and that if I wanted them gone, I don't care about her safety then. I got really fucking angry, but I got this moment of clarity all of a sudden. It was like all of the anger left my body as quick as it came, and I understood. All these months hit me like a train, and I was over it all. I didn't yell, didn't react, I just said that we were over. I told her I couldn't be with someone who thought of me as an abuser. I

didn't take any of my things, I just left to stay at my parents' house. She's been telling her family that I'm an abuser and I've gotten a few semi-threatening calls and texts from her brothers. I'm really torn up about it, and I'm feeling like a real asshole now. Her texts range from, quote, I'm sorry, I know you're not an abuser, to how I never cared about her and she was right about me all along. Why did she convince herself that I would abuse her? I never, ever laid my hands on her, nor have I even yelled at her. If something was wrong, we handled it like adults, not dysfunctional teens. I miss her a lot and am starting to regret it all. I should have

just let her put the cameras up. That probably isn't the self-respecting choice, but I really loved my girlfriend and I understood to an extent." He understood to an extent? Poor boy's gone through it. Yeah, I mean they're getting like, she's lost her damn mind. And I mean, you know, you like watch something about like an abusive man and you get really mad at men and you're like, men are so fucked up. And then you see your man and you're like, I'm fucking mad at men.

And then you're like, oh yeah, but that's, I don't have to project that onto him. It's almost like she got obsessed with the idea of an abuse is such a general term. I wonder if there was like an event that happened between them that triggered her to be like this could become something. If there was a fight, I feel like we're missing maybe one piece of information. Or maybe he had a moment where he got angry, which is totally fine. But he's making it like he's been perfect this whole time. And she just...

Also the cameras is fucking weird. Regardless, I feel like the cameras is not okay. No, no. Like if you're putting up cameras somewhere... And not telling him. You have to let people consent to that. That feels very invasive. And like if someone has never given you a reason to suspect

that they're gonna hurt you something's going on here and my thing is like I'm like maybe she's developing a mental illness you know like maybe there's something I'm like it's like she wants to be the person in the documentary well the one thing also that makes me feel like he's not a bad dude is that abusers don't normally leave you. No. They want you to stay. Yeah.

For him to finally be like, it clicked, I'm done. Like he's really hurt by this and understandably so. Like if my partner started coming out of the woodwork and being like, oh, I'm scared, you're going to hurt me. She's avoiding him. She's being weird and like jumpy around him Like so it's but he can't be fulfilled by that too Like I know how happy relationship but it's it's like when you are with your friends and they start telling you

Things about your man and you start kind of believing it except that's her with these documentaries. Yeah, it's giving gone girl Yes, it's it's giving she's like trying to create something that's not there. Again, it is like attention seeking, where it's like she wants from her friends and her family to feel like she's going through something like these girls were going that she was watching. But yeah, the whole thing with domestic abuse is the cycle of abuse, that like you get hurt, and then they want you back and they apologize and they act good for a while, and then they do it again and they apologize and they act good for a while and then they do it again and you're stuck

in this horrible cycle. They don't just say, okay, this is weird, I'm leaving. I know, and he did that. I mean, I think he's doing everything right. Like I feel so bad for him. And then the comment here where he's like, I came from a broken home with DB. She knows that.

So then to kind of like put that on your partner and be like, I'm worried you're gonna be an abuser. Like you could be an abuser, abuser, abuser, abuser. Like that's not a light thing. No, and it's basically like if it was his dad being like, are you your dad? Well, and then it's like at that point, like there's the whole self-fulfilling prophecy thing.

Like you're putting that into his head, you're almost conditioning him to like make him think, I am like that. Well, so accusing someone of being an abuser is something that could elicit a pretty intense response from someone. Like if he raised his voice, I wouldn't be surprised. Well, then it comes into that again, that reactive abuse. Well, I was going to say like what she reactive abuse. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, I was going to say, like, what she was doing is a form of abuse. Yeah.

Because now he's getting, if she's lying about him, he's now getting bullied by her family. Yes. And he must feel just like dirty and misunderstood and just like lost. It's really, really scary. It's like a form of psychological abuse. Yes. What she's doing. Yeah.

Like it feels very psychologically damaging. And has nothing to do with him. No. And it's something where it's, I think he should, I think he should talk to the, her family to just be like, Hey, I really care about her. And like, I had to remove myself because of what's going on, but like, I care about her and this is what's going on. Yeah.

Like I'm genuinely worried. She's 24. So severe mental illnesses, like they start really manifesting themselves at this age, you know, 23 to 26, 27 is kind of that window where, you know, bigger things come out. She's giving like very paranoid. And so maybe there is some mental health issue popping up right now. No, it's totally valid. And I think he needs, he can't just let it be believed. He needs to stand up for himself. He needs to set the record straight.

He, if they're like in a small town, like he cannot have that going around. No. And then her like text too, where she's like, I'm sorry, I know you're not an abuser. To then being like, oh, I was right about you. It's like, she's swinging on both sides of that pendulum. Exactly. She's unsure what's going on and she needs help. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster today. I really am messing us up. No, these are wild.

I'm messing us up. Holy smokes. So there is only one comment from OP and it is in response to this comment. Not the asshole in the slightest. I would check up on her or at least urge her family to do so. Although from my understanding, you are not on great terms at the moment because it seems that she has come to develop what I can only understand to be some sort of acute paranoia as a result of the content she consumes.

She can have her interests, but she by herself needs to be able to distinguish her own reality from others. Period. That is something which inherently is not your problem. But seeing as you have been together for a while and were envisioning marriage, your approach to appeasement and not communicating your own emotions at the expense of your well-being also was less than ideal. You made the right decision anyways. You honestly don't need this. And her wrongs heavily outweigh anything you've done.

OP responds, I did talk to her about it, but not in depth. So I didn't mention it in my post. Our talking about it was her explaining why she felt the need to be doing things she was doing and me reassuring her that I would never hurt her. She always replied, quote, I know, it's just in case, and then carried on. I also think she's paranoid due to the media she's been consuming, but there isn't anything I can do about it now, and that's my mistake. I could have intervened much sooner, but saw no harm until it was too late I can't really tell her family that I'm worried about her, but my sister extended the message to her mom

I don't know if they'll be doing anything about it Well, I hated when he said like I didn't want to respond to things because I don't want to Prove her right because you can't be in a relationship where you can't at least voice your concerns or boundaries without being accused of being an abuser. Yeah. Like you have to, and also in your relationships with people you love, sometimes they see like the darkest parts of you because like you're going to show them everything. And I think he's being put in a really fucked up situation where he can't even

speak up for himself. No, because anything he does or like any feelings and speaking up for himself that he does articulate, it's going to be like, well, if you weren't an abuser, you would let me do this. It's going to be twisted on him. So it's like, he can't even say how he actually feels about it, which is so toxic. Also, just like putting the abuser title is so impersonal and so just like projecting where she can kind of define it in however she wants. This is really, this is actually kind of a scary one. Top comment on this one, not the asshole. This person is unhinged.

I'm a woman who enjoys true crime. This is so weird. It's giving gone girl. It's giving gone girl. Yeah. Which there's like another Netflix thing that just came out. It's really good.

Did you watch it? It's incredible. The one that like faked her own kidnapping, right? It's incredible. And it is another thing of like wanting attention and seeing how much someone like wants to be with you or like how much people care about you. And it's a sickness. It's a sickness. So get help.

If you need attention. Throw a birthday party. Start stand up comedy. Go to Applebee's. Start stand up comedy. Do those things instead of going to therapy if you won't. No, the Applebee's one. Go to Applebee's. Go to Applebee's. You will feel special. Half off wings, a song, and a little dessert. Mm-hmm. Dalarita.

Let's go. Do they have those again? In the summer, I think. I'm literally going to look up the nearest Applebee's. I need this. I need this. But there's other ways to get attention. Like, come on.

Don't hurt people that... Let me get a dog. A dog? Foster, like Hannah. You had the cutest foster recently. I still have a really cute foster, Abby. She's like a pocket pit who... She's like tan and a little white on her face.

And she just loves people so much. She's not great with other dogs, but she like literally just wants to cuddle with you all day. Okay. Where can people go to look for Abby? Southamptonanimalshelter.com. Okay. Yes. ABBY? ABBY, she's the best.

She's really the best. If you're watching on YouTube, you'll see some pictures right here, right now. Let's get Abby adopted. Yes. Abby! Abby! So freaking cute. Ah, I love that you foster.

Yeah, thanks. You're just... Why are you the most magical little human? It was my husband that wanted to foster. Because I was like, I travel too much and I like cats. And he was like, we're fostering this pit bull. I love that. I mean, we've had her for like three years now.

Which shows how great of a dog she is. We don't want to give her back unless she's adopted. Three years? Yeah, his brother will take care of her. We've had her for like three years now, which shows how great of a dog she is. We don't want to give her back unless she's adopted. Three years? Yeah, his brother will take care of her. We have like a whole system because we travel a lot. Oh my gosh. She's living in Long Island.

She's super happy, but we want her to have a forever home. She deserves a nice little yard. Oh yes. And she does like big males, which honestly same, but she doesn't get along with like little dogs. It's too bad. You know but she doesn't get along with like little dogs. It's too bad. You know, she doesn't get along. I had a reactive dog and it is really tough, but like there's so many places you can still

go and like people are getting better, but having their other dogs on leashes. She's always on a leash, but it's so funny because with people, she's just the best. I wonder if she would get along with Miss Peaches. I don't know. Cause Miss Peaches. I don't know because Miss Peaches is a girl. Maybe two, you know, two powerful women in a household. We'll see if we can try. We reach out to Mr. Dave. Mrs. Peaches is from Southampton Animal Shelter. Yeah. Okay. All the more. Come on guys. Check out Abby. Check out Southampton Animal Shelter. I love that. You're going to encourage me to start fostering. Oh my God. Check out Abby. Check out somethings in Animal Shelter. Check out Abby.

I love that. You're going to encourage me to start fostering. Oh my god. It's the best. I love. I miss it so much. You save more dogs than one, they say. I love that.

Well, that's all I have for you. That's all? That's it. I need a stiff drink. A palate cleanser. No, that was amazing. I have so much fun doing this with you. I love having you.

I really, really think so highly of you. And I was talking to someone the other day, kind of telling them I had you coming on. And I was like, you are genuinely one of the kindest, most authentic people I've met in this journey I call life now. Like, podcasting has been, like, it's been really tough. Like, it's so rewarding, but there's a lot behind the scenes that people don't see or don't know. And I think every single time I'm with you, you are just such a light

and you deserve every good thing coming your way. And it's not to say you haven't worked your ass off for it, but it is so, so deserved and it's so nice to see one of the good ones win. Let me tell you. Wait, I love you so much. And you've actually been so helpful in so many ways. Stop! And like everything right back at you.

Chase the compliment! No, I can't. I literally can Change the compliment! No, I can't. I literally can't. No! No, how dare you. No, but seriously, I love you and this community you built is so fucking great. It's magical. It really is.

We've got some good ones and good ones that are hopefully going to come check out where you're at now. You have a podcast with your friend Paige, Giggly Squad. Oh yeah, Giggly Squad. It's very silly, very funny. I love it. And we read it on Netflix. Message me, tell me how you like it.

Tell me your favorite bits. Yes. Get into it. Yes. We should do a poll. What have you found to be very polarizing about your special? People really like the queef joke. I have like a 10 minute queef bit.

It's about who queefed who. Does he queef you or are you queefing? No. So it's gotten into that. It is purely from the other person pushing air up in you. It's their fault. I say, I've never queefed alone. So I know. But then some girls messaged me and said they can queef alone.

So it's been, it's gotten kind of controversial. Interesting. Okay. For next time. Well, we are going to put a poll up and see if you guys have queefed alone. Because now I'm really curious about that. Somewhat concerned for those that are queefing alone. Or a little jealous.

With love of skill. Actually, I'm glad I can because I would never stop. I'd be like, look what I could do. I have enough flatulence from the other hole. I don't need a double whammy. I'm okay there. Check out Giggly Squad. Be sure to watch the special. It is so good. Let's get it to number one. Let's go. Let's do it. Let's go. Put on repeat. I love it. All of Hannah's links will be in the description of the podcast, the YouTube. Easy, easy guys.

It's one click, one click. But thank you for coming on. Always welcome. Just come whenever you just say, I'm coming. Thank you, Morgz. Until next time, guys. Bye. Thanks for watching!