Two Hot Takes - 195: You Must Hate Them?!
Episode Date: December 12, 2024Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Justin! You'd think that the people in your life are supposed to love you or at the very least like you but.. sometimes it feels like they just h...ate you. That's the vibe we got from the stories this week. There is no love lost between someone here.. or are we off base and there are perfectly reasonable explanations?! You tell us your thoughts on these ones! Fill out the google form to submit your audiobook hot takes: https://forms.gle/doTtiE7JD9yd8TQAA Bonus Content on Patreon including new full length episodes: https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes MERCH is here: https://shop.twohottakes.com I can't wait to see you all in these, especially at our live shows!! Our PO Box!! Two Hot Takes. 5042 Wilshire BLVD. #470. Los Angeles, CA 90036 Our SubReddit to Submit YOUR Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes Partners: Audible: http://audible.com/tht for all the years best :) Essie: https://www.essie.com/ shop Essie nail polish for the holidays! Shopify: http://shopify.com/tht for $1 per month trial period! Talkspace: Get $80 off your first month with promo code SPACE80 at http://Talkspace.com/THT
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Here we go.
Welcome back to another episode of Too Hot Takes, my friends.
Let me host Morgan.
Hello.
Who are you?
I don't know.
Oh, I think you know.
Can you guess?
Can the listeners guess?
That's the better question.
Yeah, that wasn't that good.
No?
No.
Who are you?
Justin. No. Who are you? Justin. Justin.
We have had such a crazy past couple of weeks.
My family came out from Minnesota and we went to Disneyland.
We also went on a family horseback ride.
All nine of us out there on horses, even my little brother, Taylor, which that
was the biggest surprise of all.
Yes.
That's like it's snowing in August or something.
I know.
It's been crazy.
There's been like, just kind of like one crazy thing after another.
And it's been a very eventful past couple of weeks.
But I'm very excited to be here.
Yes.
Recording back in the studio with uh uh friends and today's theme I
think is gonna be a really crazy one. I'm still a little undecided on the name but it started out as
a theme of you must hate them. Like whoever is writing in must hate the person involved or
Like, whoever is writing in must hate the person involved, or there's no love lost here,
or there's definitely hate involved here.
Like, you can feel there's some hatred.
Wonderful.
And there's just a goofy assortment,
and I'm really excited to see what everyone's takes are.
Yes.
Okay, you ready to get into them?
Yes. Okay, let's takes are. Yes. Okay, you ready to get into them?
Yes.
Okay, let ready to kick things off with a bang today?
Yup, yup, yup.
Okay, this first one is coming from Am I the Asshole?
It is 14 days old, titled, Am I the Asshole for taking a little time to myself in the
mornings?
Mmm, spicy.
Maybe. little time to myself in the mornings? Mmm. Spicy.
Maybe.
Ha ha.
My wife, 30 female, Laura, and I, 35 male,
have two children, ages two and three and a half,
and we've been married for five years.
Laura is a stay-at-home mom to our boys
and takes the boys three days a week
to take care of her grandmother who has dementia.
The other four days, a nurse comes in.
I work in retail management.
My typical schedule is 1pm to 10pm, with a one-hour lunch break if I choose to take it.
I live about 45 minutes from my job and I like to head out a bit early, get a coffee
and a quick bite, and send some
emails from a cafe before walking into work. This means I typically leave the house between
8.30 and 9 a.m. in the morning. After work, I'm often frustrated, so I stop by the 24-hour
gym I'm a member at and run on the treadmill or lift weights for a bit. This puts me getting home at 12 or just after.
On weekends, I often have things planned with family or friends that tend to use up a portion
of my day. Lara is telling me I need to stick around to help her more in the mornings.
She's insisting my routine isn't all that important, and I'm making her feel like a single mom.
From my perspective, I enjoy my routine.
I get some peace and quiet,
and it's a nice way for me to prepare for me
and end my day.
Laura wants me to be at home
until she either leaves with the boys to her grandmother's,
or until it's closer to noon.
If I did that, I'd completely miss being able
to go to the cafe and deal with emails while I mentally prepare myself for the day. She
doesn't mind me going to the gym so much, as she's usually asleep by the time I get
home. I've offered to ask my sister or mom to come over and help her in the mornings
a day or two a week, but she rejected that idea. I feel like I've offered a compromise of sorts,
but Lara is telling me that I haven't.
Am I the asshole?
Yeah, very clearly.
You should be single.
Why do you have a wife and kids?
Because this is single male energy.
Me. Me.
This is, I am going to go four hours early
so I can have my cafe time
and sit there for three and a half hours.
I mean, I would instantly,
if you're leaving that early every day,
you're doing something weird
because nobody needs that much time.
You shouldn't.
Who's the barista you gotta crush on?
Right.
Because this don't make sense. And why do you have kids?
It's time to grow up. This is like college boy energy where, you know, I got nothing to worry
about. I'm just doing me. I'm going to get home at midnight. I'm going to sleep and then wake up and
get the fuck out of my house. And you know what? My wife's got it. Do you never spend time with your kids?
Do you never have one meal with your kids?
Maybe a couple hours on a weekend?
No, he's making plans with friends and family
who obviously seems to not be his wife and kids.
It's his family.
What was that?
I don't know.
What was that?
Well, I can't do the weekends because I'm busy
and I have to go to the cafe
because otherwise I won't be able to go do my job.
Why are you doing so much work outside of work hours?
How about a new job that doesn't make you
need to go mentally prepared for three hours
and then de-stress for a couple hours after? Why don't we get a job that makes us more happy and feel more fulfilled to
where we want to spend time with our wife and raising our kids?
I want to go at the top of a really just like tall building right now and scream.
Oh I thought you're gonna say like squirrel suit it.
No, no, no.
Like fly down through the squirrel suit it. No, no, no.
Like fly down through the squirrel suit, wings out.
No, I just like, I'm so irrationally mad at this person
that I don't even know.
I'm so confused because like-
I've compromised, I've put out a compromise.
What compromise?
You've done nothing but talk about your own selfish needs.
I need to mentally prepare.
I need a break, I need to mentally prepare. I need a break.
I need to reset.
I'm only concerned about me and my mornings,
and this is going to negatively impact my quality of life.
But my compromise is I'm going to send other people
to go do my job in the morning.
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm confused.
This person is working nine hours, okay?
Oh, I get a 45-minute break from work if I want confused. This person is working nine hours. Okay. Oh, I get a 45 minute break from work
If I want it use that as some downtime in between the middle of your shift
And what about the 45 minute drive there and back you're wasting an hour and a half in the car already listen to a podcast
Decompress put some something on music tunes. Whatever brings you peace. I don't care if it's a meditation that you
music, tunes, whatever brings you peace. I don't care if it's a meditation
that you stare at the road and count.
Look for deer, look at the trees.
I don't know what it is,
but you are essentially a deadbeat dad.
The only thing you're providing is some financial support.
And I'm gonna tell you what, if Laura wanted to,
Laura could go out there and get herself a job and probably have
an easier time parenting than she is right now. Don't act, oh, this peeves me. When people
act like them having a job and supporting the whole family is this huge thing and the
world would crumble without them. The reality is your stay at home mom, your stay at home
wife could go out there and grind and do it.
Well, she's working harder regardless.
You're not doing her a favor.
I hate when people act like them being the breadwinner
and allowing their partner to stay at home is some favor.
Is that a gift to be able to spend that time with your kids
if you like them and you want to do that?
Yes.
But are you doing that stay at want to do that? Yes. But are you doing that
stay-at-home parent a favor? No. Because when is her off time? You're basically gone from the time
she gets up until she's already asleep. She's getting the kids up. She's getting the kids
ready. She's taking care of them all day. She's taking care of a grandma with dementia.
all day, she's taking care of a grandma with dementia. All she's doing is asking for a little help.
You're donating 9 a.m. to 10 p.m. to work,
and then you're going to the gym for some me time.
How do they even have a relationship?
I'm surprised they have two kids, to be honest.
When are they even spending time together
except for just sleeping next to each other?
Which when you get home and your partner's asleep and then they wake up probably before
you and then I'm not imagining you get up and don't just jet right off to your little
cafe.
So.
There's no time.
There's no time.
People are nuts. Top comment on this. There's no time. People are nuts.
Top comment on this?
You're the asshole.
You are leaving the house at 8am and then getting back at midnight?
Do you even like your wife?
Your kids?
When do you see each other?
How many times a week are you two having sex or spending quality time?
Bingo, Justin.
Bingo.
How many times a week are you sitting and asking your kids about their day? Not only
are you abandoning your wife with a house full of children and elderly care, but you're
being a terrible husband by failing to sit down with your wife and kids every day and
being a part of their lives. I would leave, honestly, if my husband was just being this
absent, boring, cats-in-the-cradle cradle bread winner whose only contribution to the family's daily life
is a paycheck.
She deserves a person who spends time with her.
Either be that or she'll find a man who can do both.
Lots of them out there.
Yeah, I mean, this is like the most undesirable guy ever.
I mean, no, there's, sorry, there's definitely worse,
but just thinking about being in a relationship
with someone like this, there's no point. There's no relationship.
I don't understand how he is even fulfilled.
You chose to get married because you loved this person. You chose to have two children because
you wanted to build a family. When you dream about having a family and, you know, having kids,
don't you think about reading them bedtime stories and
tucking them in and teaching them how to ride a bike? Like, what did you want this for?
Yeah. You don't like them. Doesn't seem like you love them.
Does everything you can to avoid them. You must hate them. You must have some
resentment here because otherwise...
No, because it's possible. I mean, look at Matt and Amy. They're able to both work,
have two young kids that need a lot of attention. You know, it's that age. There's so much going on,
building a house, doing all this stuff, and they always are still spending time. They always prioritize each other and their coupleness.
Some days are busy,
but they also spend so much time with their kids.
It is possible.
It's a choice to not, and it's a choice to do it.
This is very deliberate.
So, I know, the way it's written, it's like, it's a choice to do it. This is very deliberate. So it's, I know the way it's written,
it's like, it's just not possible.
I couldn't possibly go home after work.
I have to go work out.
Otherwise, I'm gonna be a mess and it'll wreck my routine.
That's like, how could I ever do that?
And I love that his solution and his compromise.
I asked her if she wanted me to talk to my mom and sister.
So you're gonna pass off your emotional presence,
your physical labor of helping raise your children
onto other women.
You're gonna just pass that off on other women.
Because you think that's a woman's job?
Also to go sit at a cafe that long?
What are you doing?
And how many emails do you have?
Isn't that what you're supposed to do at work?
That's what you get paid to do.
Why are you doing free labor outside of work?
Leave your work at work.
Not everyone has that luxury of being able to do that.
I don't have much free time.
I would love some.
Yeah, like, you know, maybe I should get up earlier,
have 30 minutes in the morning to just do anything.
But you know what?
You'd rather cuddle.
Yeah, and I, listen, I...
I'm so mad.
It's, it's really what it boils down to is like single guy energy.
Yeah.
Just living their life and that's it.
I don't know how they've lasted this long.
Really don't.
I hope she leaves him.
Next comment down from the top one.
My ex would do this too.
Would leave for work at least four hours
before his shift would start.
So he'd have time to chill out and have a coffee before he started. On average,
he'd spend about 10 hours a week with the kids, with the most of those being the four
hours he saw them on a Saturday morning before leaving for his 4pm shift at 12.30. Edit to
add, and he only left at 12.30 on Saturday because I physically removed myself from the
house and didn't
come home until 1230. He'd literally be backpacked, ready to go, minutes after I got home. Days
I stayed home, he would leave around 1130 or 12. Insane.
IN-SANE. When I read the title, I thought you took 30 minutes to an hour, but you basically
spend the entire day and week away from your family. Let your wife get a break since she has to take care of the house, the kids, and
her grandma. How many non-work related emails does he have that he needs 12 to 16 hours
a week to answer? Yes. This woman is a saint and I am done with this man.
Moving on to number two.
Oh, wait.
No comments.
No comments, no update.
Accounts been suspended.
Laura, Laura, are you out there?
Divorce, Laura, Laura.
It's spelled L-A-R-A.
I used some Laura versus Laura. It's spelled L-A-R-A. I used to know Laura versus Laura.
You'll be so much happier.
Get child support. Maybe alimony if you can.
And leave this weirdo.
Leave this nothing. There's nothing there.
I wonder, like, who does she talk to?
Who does she confide in?
I feel like she could get a robot
that would be more involved.
I would agree with that statement, yeah.
Even the little robot dog would be a better parent
than this guy.
I think she would have a more fulfilling relationship
with chat GPT.
Yeah, yeah.
Just don't fall in love with it,
because that's, that's happening to people.
That's, that gets into a whole nother world.
Okay.
I don't even know.
That's just.
Up next.
This is coming from Am I the Asshole?
It's two days old titled,
Am I the Asshole for Excluding My Daughter-In-Law
From Holidays.
Last year, my daughter-in-law emailed me proof of my son being involved in an extramarital
affair with a co-worker of his and tried to ask me for advice. The messages were extremely
graphic and not something I needed to see about my son. As far as anyone knows, the
affair never went beyond graphic messages back and forth,
but they were separated for a time. They got back together over the summer despite my disapproval
of the situation as she could have ruined his career with those messages. He has worked very
hard to get to where he's at in the company and that is something I take a lot of pride in.
to get to where he's at in the company, and that is something I take a lot of pride in.
When I explained my disapproval of their reunification, he explained that there was nothing to blame his wife for and that he was in a bad spot and should have gotten help instead of
speaking inappropriately to a co-worker. I told him she would no longer be allowed at any family
gatherings as I cannot stand to be in the same room with her
after what she sent me.
She embarrassed us and she almost ruined my son.
Now he's extremely upset I won't allow her around
for the holidays and is considering refusing
to come to dinner since he does not want her
spending the holidays alone,
as she has no other family besides him.
Both of her parents are gone and she is an only child,
which I can understand would make the holidays lonely,
but I can't get over the embarrassment.
Am I in the wrong for not wanting her around?
Oh man.
I just want to know more about this person.
I want to know how you become so oblivious and just dumb.
Deranged?
This is just stupid.
This is so annoyingly stupid.
It just, it pains me to even talk about it
because it's so dumb.
This is so dumb.
Very clearly the asshole here.
Yes, very much so.
I'm embarrassed for you.
Yeah, I don't know about the decision
to go to your partner's mom about the affair.
I don't know what the strategy was in doing so.
I think she just looked at her like family.
Yeah, but I mean.
If they got close, like she doesn't have parents, there's no siblings, no other family.
If you think you're close and have an amazing relationship with your partner's mom and you
find this, I don't know.
Would it be my first place?
No, but I know there are so many people
that are close with their mother-in-laws
and do do this, and the family,
the mother-in-law disowns the son
and stands by the daughter-in-law.
Yes, but it's like, do you send video evidence?
I know that's not what happened here, but do you-
Graphic messages?
Do you go as far as sending,
hey, here's a video of your son cheating on me.
I don't think there was that though.
I think it was just messages.
I get that, but I'm just saying that would instantly be like,
oh yeah, why would you ever send that?
That's weird.
No, and that would be...
I know the mess.
We're getting close to that territory with sending the direct evidence.
I want to know if there was a conversation like,
hey, just, you know, just looking for someone to talk to,
I found these messages,
I don't need to send you like, they're graphics,
so I don't need to send you the detailed messages,
but I'm just trying to get some perspective
and have someone to talk to about this.
That kind of approach, you know, whatever. The problem is, obviously, he had this, whether
just messaging or emotional or full-on affair, I don't know.
Regardless affair.
Right. And then that seems to have been cleared up between the two of you.
So I'm going to leave that on the side. Now we're dealing with his mom,
who whether or not it was right to approach her
in the way she did, is now going crazy
thinking she's being the shining knight
and defender for her son.
When the son's even like, listen,
if you're gonna be this crazy about this,
we're not coming to your little shit event.
Like we're gonna go to our own thing
because you're being a psycho.
Yeah, I mean, this to me is like,
I'm just, every single thing she wrote,
like she could have ruined his career.
He could have done that
by having an affair with a coworker.
Why is every single thing that he did wrong
flipped on the wife?
She embarrassed me.
He didn't embarrass himself and you
for you because you raised him?
How did the daughter-in-law have anything
to do with any of this?
She could have ruined him.
She embarrassed me.
He did that all on his own good self.
What?
They can do no wrong.
And no matter what.
So this is, you know,
this is the mom where the son goes out
and murders somebody.
Oh God.
She's showing up to help bury the body.
You know what I'm saying?
She, no matter what, this is the, like, I'm going to protect and defend and they can do, like, to the death.
And so I'm hoping that with where we're at, with Son understanding what he did, taking his wife's
side. I think you got to cut mom off. Well, I think we're getting, son understanding what he did, taking his wife's side.
I think you got to cut mom off.
Well, I think we're getting, it seems to be pointing in that direction.
They need to keep working on themselves.
And I hope that them taking a stand, not going, if mother-in-law, if she doesn't
back down.
No, don't go.
And then I don't know if she'll ever be in a position to realize with how
ignorant this whole post was written.
But hopefully that starts to put it in perspective.
Like, listen.
I don't think there's hope.
You can defend me forever,
but we're gonna go to our own thing,
because you're nuts.
Top comment.
You're the asshole.
You're blaming your daughter-in-law
for your son's infidelity.
She offended your delicate sensibilities with the proof that he
cheated on her, but the cheating's okay. She didn't almost ruin your son. Your son almost
ruined himself. If you need to be embarrassed, be embarrassed by his behavior, not hers. Sheesh.
Next comment. Yeah, doesn't seem to have a problem with him exchanging the photos with a co-worker,
which by the way would harm his career way more.
Right.
You're the asshole, 100%. Your dusty ass son sent those messages.
She was just the messenger. You are lucky she has forgiven him and not taken him to the cleaners with a divorce.
The kind of mental gymnastics you are doing right now to somehow make her the bad guy in this situation is amazing. She reached
out to you because you were a safe space for her and instead you blame her and punish her
for the actions of your son? I'm a mother. I get it. You always support your kids, but
he screwed up, not her. Punishing her is ridiculous and I hope your son has learned his lesson I'm so curious if there's any comments from this.
So first comment I see from OP,
there were no photos, it was all texts,
and I'm not the only one in the family
who has been embarrassed by her sending me those emails,
but I'm not the only one in the family
who has been embarrassed by her sending me those emails.
So I'm not the only one in the family
who has been embarrassed by her sending me those emails,
but I'm not the only one in the family who has been embarrassed by her sending me those emails, So first comment I see from OP, there were no photos. It was all texts.
And I'm not the only one in the family
who has been embarrassed by her sending me those emails,
but both of his siblings and my other daughter-in-laws
feel the same as well.
It feels a little gang mentality here.
I'm sure there were other women in her life
she could have gone to without sending me
such graphic screenshots.
I did not need to see my son saying those things.
I did not raise him to think that it's okay to cheat,
but I did not need to see what he said to that other woman.
No, I'm not okay with what he did,
but I maintain that I did not see those messages.
Their marital issues should have stayed
between the two of them.
He knows I'm disappointed in his actions, but he's not the one who involved me in their problems.
Oh my god. It just doesn't stop.
I'm going to see if there's an update on the post. I'm scared to refresh.
Okay, we do have an edit at the very top, which is surprising considering this is two days old.
Overall vote, top of the post, banner, asshole.
Nice red box.
Edit to add.
Thank you everyone for the responses.
I'm at...
Oh!
We just got...
Okay, if this, okay.
I'm actually said daughter-in-law
who is unfortunately going through this very real situation.
I will be printing screenshots from this
to give to my mother-in-law as a Christmas present.
I'll be sending them with my soon to be ex-husband
and then promptly handing her son divorce papers
when he gets home from their holiday meal.
This whole situation was the final nail in the coffin
of our already pretty dead relationship.
Every rationale I've given in the comments
were things she said to me when I asked her
why she was more mad at me for coming to her
than she was at her son.
Ooh, chills.
So again, thank you all.
So she found the post.
She wrote the post.
Oh.
She wrote the post pretending to be mother-in-law
for AMO to provide and say,
hey, this is what you're doing.
This is what the internet thinks of you, asshole.
Also by her saying, like, I'll be sending them
with my soon to be ex-husband,
and then giving him papers when he gets home
from their holiday meal.
So he's still going.
He's planning on leaving his wife at home
and going to be with his mom.
So he's okay with his wife being excluded.
I feel bamboozled.
I feel blindsided.
I mean, this is, it's two days old.
Like I-
No, I know.
Is this a first for you?
I think this is the first that someone has flipped the script like this.
That's pretty good.
I don't like it.
I like it. Well, it's a happy. That's pretty good. I don't like it.
I like it.
Well, it's a happy ending.
This is good.
Think about how much happier you'll be.
I know, but my adrenaline is like coursing through me.
I'm like, I almost, I'm just like, okay, I gotta, okay.
Okay.
I'm almost happy that it wasn't the mom writing
because it was just so angering.
I know that in all reality,
that's exactly how she probably would have written it.
Would have written it, yeah.
But oh God, it's just when people are so ignorant
and just so.
Cruel, stupid, asshole-ish.
I mean, listen, getting out of this is a good thing.
Yeah.
This is gonna be the weights fall off
and you're just moving forward fresh, happy, light, inspired.
I think it'll be very good for you.
I know, and no ages were mentioned here.
I just noticed that.
No ages were ever mentioned.
And I'm so curious. I...
And it doesn't matter, but the best time to get out of a bad relationship
was yesterday. Second best time, today.
So it doesn't matter how old you are.
It's never too late to find love, your person, a happy family to join.
Well, of course.
And sometimes, being by yourself is better than being with some terrible person.
Absolutely.
Doesn't mean you'll be alone forever, but in the meantime, be real refreshing.
Okay.
On to number three. And you can always get a pony. Okay, on to number three.
And you can always get a pony.
You could get a puppy too.
You know, a little German Shepherd puppy.
But you could get a pony.
Under a Christmas tree with a bow on it.
Yeah, you can't do that with a pony, but you could put them right outside.
Moving on to number three.
One of this week's partners is Audible. Audible's best of 2024 picks are in, you guys.
You can now discover the year's top audiobooks,
podcasts, and originals, all in your favorite genres.
From memoirs and sci-fi to mysteries and thrillers,
from romance to wellbeing and fiction,
Audible's carefully curated list in every category
is the very best way to hear 2024's best of
the year in audio entertainment.
Like an almost unbelievably star-studded production of George Orwell's 1984, which both honors
and reinvigorates the terrifying classic.
It's one of the best original dramatizations we've ever heard.
Or romance that hits the spot, like Emily Henry's funny story.
There's also heartfelt memoirs like Supreme Court Justice Katanji Brown Jackson's lovely one.
And you can listen to the year's best fiction like The Women by Kristen Hannah
or Percival Everett's brilliantly subversive James.
So check out Audible. There's more to imagine when you listen.
Go to audible.com slash THT and discover all the years best waiting for you.
audible.com slash THT for 30 days free. And be sure to submit those hot takes if you haven't.
The link is in the description and we'll be going through them next week. Thanks guys.
Okay. Moving on to number three. This next one is coming from r slash relationship advice. It is 16 days old titled,
my boyfriend, 21 male,
threw away a sentimental souvenir without asking,
how can I, 20 female, move on?
Months ago when my boyfriend and I had been together
for about four months,
he threw away something that meant a lot to me
and it's still bothering me.
For context, I had a souvenir
from a trip to Japan hanging on my wall, along with some other posters. It was a fortune
slip I received during that trip, and it had a positive message that really meant a lot
to me, especially at that time. My boyfriend is religious and doesn't believe in things
like fortunes or tarot readings, which I completely understand and respect. However, he never mentioned how he felt about it or
asked me why I kept it. So I was shocked when he ripped it up and threw it away without
talking to me first. I rarely let anyone into my room, but I trusted him enough to leave
him alone in there. When he told me what he did,
he said that stuff like that is nonsense and bullshit. I tried to explain that it was a
souvenir from a trip I took with my brother, and that I kept it for the memories. He responded
by saying that I'm always sentimental and wanting to hold onto things that he thinks
are meaningless.
I told him I was surprised
that he would do something like that.
And his response felt dismissive,
like he was challenging me,
almost as if he was asking me,
what's the big deal?
I don't wanna make it into a bigger issue,
so I just said whatever and moved on.
But even now, I still feel hurt
because I trusted him enough to have him in my room
and he didn't respect that.
I understand his perspective and I respect his beliefs,
but I can't help feeling surprised and disappointed.
I forgave him, but from time to time,
I still think about it.
How can I address these lingering feelings
and what would be the best way to discuss it with him?
Leave.
Okay.
Like this is way bigger.
Come on now.
Come on now.
I mean.
This is trust.
This is just a total mismatch.
Basic respect.
It's not working.
This doesn't work.
It's just really hard
because I'm a very sentimental person.
You are.
But I wouldn't want to be with someone
that challenges that all the time.
You know, if you want to be with me, be with me for who I am,
which includes possessions that I'm sentimental over
or that mean a lot to me.
Mm-hmm.
And yeah, I mean, you can get over it.
It sucks to lose something like that,
but things could be worse.
Things could be a lot worse.
But to me, it's a trust issue
when you can't leave your partner in your room
and now you have to go forward thinking like,
oh, if anything means a lot to me, I should hide it.
Because if he doesn't believe in it,
or if he doesn't agree with it, then he'll...
Also, why was the ripping up necessary?
Like it's very direct targeted.
There was motive.
I know.
And that's why moving forward,
that's why my first statement was be done,
because you don't need that.
No, this was all happening four months in.
They had been together for four months
and he felt comfortable enough to go into her room,
grab something that was meaningful.
It's on a wall next to posters.
Clearly displayed.
And grab it and rip it up.
And then when confronted about it says,
oh, you're always sentimental.
You always want to hold on to things.
You always want to hold on to things
that I think are meaningless.
Guess what?
It doesn't matter what you think of them.
The person you're with, the person you're supposed
to at least like,
if not grow to love eventually,
I don't know, you could be in love after four months even.
You are literally so disrespectful.
And you think your opinion matters more
than what they want.
So much so that you're going to rip up something
that's sentimental from a trip to Japan.
Yeah.
That's insane.
That to me is one of the bigger red flags.
To get that in four months.
It's a blessing to get that in four months.
That's a run.
That's a run.
I don't think he likes her.
I genuinely think this person, how can you like someone and do this to them?
I wouldn't even do this to people I don't like.
Yeah. Yeah.
To hurt them in such a way. It's clearly on a wall next to posters they find precious and meaningful.
And then to be hit with that slap in the face. eh, you're always holding on to things that are sentimental.
You've known me for four months, motherfucker.
Four months.
I've had that fortune cookie longer than I've had you.
So shut the fuck up and don't touch my stuff
and get out of my life.
Yeah, I mean, it sounds like he can do no wrong
and he is the alpha.
And this is just the start of the control.
I'm gonna control what you can have and can't have.
I'm gonna throw it away and rip up your shit
and I'm not in trouble.
It's because you shouldn't have had it in the first place
because you're wrong.
And what I believe is right.
And I will dominate this.
I don't know, it's weird.
It's extremely, extremely weird.
And I do think it's about control
and I think this is one of those early moves
that someone does in an abusive relationship
to start pushing boundaries.
I absolutely think that's the case.
I hope the comments got there, please.
Top comment, this isn't something you need to please. Oh, top comment.
This isn't something you need to forgive.
That's wild behavior.
I'd say he is probing to see how much bullshit you're willing to take.
Just to start.
And that was my gut too.
Like, I don't know what else this is.
It's clearly not love.
It's not respect.
He must hate.
He must hate her.
He must hate her.
It's like respect. He must hate. He must hate her. He must hate her.
It's like a weird jealousy. I it's just, I don't know. It's manifesting right now though. So, I know. Where are we at today?
Next comment. I'd break up with someone who told me my rock collection was weird.
I have one from every single place I've stayed globally. Admit most of them are from camping in Australia,
but still they don't mean anything to anyone else.
But to me, each one is special.
OP, he doesn't like you.
I'm like sweating, I'm mad.
Does she respond?
We have no comments from OP.
No update.
This is again, 16 days old at this point in time.
Account is still there?
Account is there.
Very active account.
Very active in USPS complaints,
subreddit, Canada Post.
Come on now.
Looking for tickets to the Wallows in Toronto.
So this is a Canadian, so also give that context.
Canadian traveling to Japan, that could have been a once in a lifetime,
the only time they make it their trip.
And he threw away, not even just threw away,
because that was the other part of that, right?
He didn't just throw it away.
He ripped it up so it was unsalvageable.
That to me, some people are gonna say,
I'm off my rocker.
It's giving crazy behavior.
It's giving screw loose.
How is that off your rocker?
It's giving psychopath.
Yeah, how is that off your rocker?
I don't know. I think some people are gonna be like, it's just a fortune cookie. But it's not. It's giving psychopath. Yeah, how is that off your rocker?
I don't know.
I think some people are gonna be like,
it's just a fortune cookie.
But it's not, it's not to her.
It's the principle too.
Yes, it physically is just that.
I get it, it's words printed on paper,
but it's a token of that experience.
And it was coupled with the saying on it,
meaning something.
You know, look at all the people that will screenshot sayings
and put them as their phone wallpaper.
Because, you know, they need that motivation
when they wake up the next day, or it makes them happy,
or whatever the case may be.
This is just a different version of that.
You don't need to hate on things that people,
that lift them up, you know?
It's like, what effect is it having on you?
It's just terrible.
And how you not believe in a fortune cookie.
Like it's just a little saying,
it doesn't mean it's the word of God,
but it's just something that makes people happy.
And in this case, could really motivate someone.
Who knows?
It could have been their whole mantra, but let's keep our eyes peeled for any update.
Hopefully OP is out there.
Maybe here's this, here's their story being read
and gives us something.
This post right now only has 434 upvotes.
So I think it's kind of flying under the radar
of relationship advice.
And I hope my fingers are tightly crossed that we get an update that she realized how
bad this actually was and they broke up.
You'd hope.
Tightly crossed.
This podcast is supported by Essie Nail Polish.
Essie Nail Polish is high-quality nail polish
with every color for every mood, trend, and aesthetic you could be trying to get. And with
the holiday season here, Essie Nail Polish is the perfect stocking stuffer for anyone on your list.
Whether it's family, friends, kids, teachers, white elephants, or even yourself as you're
shopping through the aisles, Essie, baby. If you're watching on YouTube, you'll see me trying out some of the colors Essie sent
over and I have some clear favorites already.
The green off-tropic is incredible.
I also love the wicked color.
Just in my wicked arrow right now.
But my favorite part is how smooth these polishes go on, how quick they dry.
I'm the queen of smudging and I immediately after started getting the studio ready to record and didn't get any
Essie nail polish anywhere. One of my favorite parts about Essie nail polish
is that they are vegan and they are committed to no animal testing. So if you
want to try it for yourself, shop Essie nail polish for the holidays in store,
Target, Ulta, CVS, all the stores you're already shopping at, and online at
your preferred Essie retailer. Thanks Essie Nail Polish. But moving along, because this
comment thread talks about another post, and I haven't read it yet. It's been on the back of
my mind. I've been waiting for an opportunity to do it.
And because they mentioned it, it unlocked it for me.
So in this thread, someone goes,
Did you see that poor post of the Posters family
who threw away their rock collection?
I have very few moments where I have the urge
for a physical violent reaction.
That post made me hug my farting hippo to remove the anger.
Next comment.
Angry isn't even the word to describe how that post made me feel.
Let people enjoy their shit, man.
Yeah.
And?
Farting hippo?
Yeah, I would assume it's a little stuffy.
I want one.
I know, like you hug it and it farts.
Yes.
It sounds really cute actually.
Checking my master spreadsheet.
I have not read the rock one yet.
So we're going spontaneous.
We're mixing it up a little bit, deviating from my plan.
We're going off the grid.
So here we go.
This is coming from r slash relationship advice again,
titled- R slash rock collection. Titled, my 19 female family sold my rock collection
when I went to college.
What am I supposed to do?
I'm a college freshman and I'm currently visiting
my mom over break.
When I got there, I saw a crystal that was in my old room
on display and I asked about it.
My mom then told me that the
rest was gone after the yard sale. For context, my parents were moving the same time I was
getting ready for college, so the house was in chaos basically. I had a rock collection
that I had been growing for around 10 years, and it cost me over $1,000. Some were gifts from old friends and family, some I had found in special destinations of
significance, and all of them were important to me.
Since the collection took up two cabinets, I knew I couldn't take it to my dorm room
and decided to pack them up.
My brother also likes rocks, so I thought he would be a good fit to look after them while I couldn't, or at least until I decorated my room when my parents bought a house.
Apparently, my brother, 21 male, picked through the boxes and told my mother, 50
female, to sell everything he didn't keep. My aunt and mother took a few each that
they liked, but hundreds of rocks were either donated or sold,
with none of the profit going to me
and without my knowledge.
When I learned this, I broke down into tears.
I know they're just rocks,
but they brought me a lot of happiness
and I can't believe they're just gone.
Writing this out is making me cry again.
My mother feels really sorry,
and I don't blame anyone for this, but I'm crushed.
How do I deal with this loss
and not take it out on my family?
I'm not mad at anyone.
I just wish I'd explained better or something,
and I don't want my family to think I'm angry with them.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Yes, you are angry with your family.
You should be mad at them.
What do you mean? No one's at them. What do you mean?
No one's at fault.
What are you talking about?
Your brother, at least, is at fault.
You packed it up.
Your brother is 100% at fault.
Oh my God.
What do you?
You literally gave your brother the boxes for safekeeping.
You said, hey, here's my rock collection in these boxes.
Please look after them for me while I'm at college.
And your brother decides once you're gone
to take those rocks shortly after, mind you,
because the yard sale happened shortly after the move.
So this was maybe what, a couple of weeks,
if not days time span. And the brother goes, huh couple of weeks, if not days, time span.
And the brother goes,
huh, I'm gonna dig through here, take everything good.
And then the rest, here you go, mom, sell this shit.
How can you not be mad at the mom too?
I would say the mom likely did not know the significance.
Maybe the mom thought they were the brother's rock
since the brother was the one passing off the box. No, you know
Okay, if someone if they're a good involved parent, I think they would know
Like there's some parents that don't even know what their kids are doing like some kids run around lala gagging everywhere
I have the most random stuff that pops up back home
totally meaningless random stuff and I will back home. Totally meaningless random stuff.
And I will still get asked,
hey, I made a little pile for you
next time you're home to go through.
It just, the packing them up,
I get not being able to bring them to school, makes sense.
Reasonable, yeah.
But all right, I'm gonna pre-pack
so that they're ready to go to the next place.
And then the very targeted shot of the brother just saying,
no, here we go. It's so deliberate.
I guess maybe I'm letting the mom off the hook easy because
OP does say like, friends gave me rocks as gifts. Family gave me rocks as gifts.
They all knew about the collection.
So they all knew, right? I mean, these rocks
were displayed in two cabinets in OP's room. Like I guess for the mom not to know would
be very naive and almost like willfully unaware, willfully uninterested in your child's interests.
So to then, I guess, get two big boxes of rocks and crystals and whatever, and to not be like,
oh, you know, I wonder if these are Darcy's rocks.
Like, I know, you know, she just went off to college,
but like, this is kind of, let me call, let me just see.
Or I know Darcy likes rocks at least.
Maybe I ask before I put these in the garage sale.
It's so easy. But there's experience with this within your family and there's many stories about
it. Dude. People lack that common sense and or decency to just simply ask. Yeah. It takes zero
effort. You just reminded me of that experience and I totally forgot about it.
Zero.
I totally forgot about this. We let a family member stay at our condo and we used to have
this like amazing Mickey Mouse Disney collection. It was my grandma's and she willed it to someone, but it had been in
our home still for like 10 years after she passed. And we loved it. I cherished
it. Like I would pull like ears out of the collection and wear them to Disney
and I would borrow pins and you know like it it became our collection. The
family member was like I don't even want it. Like it's yours. It's in your house.
It's yours. And we let this family member come and stay with us.
And they took it upon themselves to get rid
of practically every single Mickey Mouse thing we had.
Oh, I gave it to my cleaning lady.
I figured you didn't want it.
You were just holding onto it.
One, you were politely invited into someone's home
to stay there because you needed a place to stay.
And we happened to be traveling.
And so you took it upon yourself to get rid of everything
and not just the Mickey collection,
pots of mine, plants of mine, clothes of mine,
furniture of ours.
Like it-
It's like it was all in garbage bags.
It was insane.
And I don't get why people think it's okay to throw other people's stuff away.
I mean, right. It's not really different than this.
What the flying?
Ugh.
Top comment. Bad. Top comment.
Top comment on the post.
They quote what OP said, apparently my brother picked through the boxes and told my mother
to sell everything he didn't want to keep.
My aunt and mother took a few that they liked, but hundreds of rocks were either donated
or sold with none of the profit going to me and without my knowledge.
When I learned this, I broke down in tears.
I don't blame anyone. My mother feels bad, blah, blah, blah, broke down in tears. I don't blame anyone.
My mother feels bad, blah, blah, blah, blah.
They go, you don't blame anyone for this?
I sure would.
Your brother is telling your mother to sell them.
Your mother for selling them without even discussing it with you first?
Why aren't you angry with them?
This is horrible, rude, awful behavior from them.
Why do you think it is your fault that they acted like this?
I hope at least your mother-in-law and brother have given you back the parts of your collection
that they decided to keep and given you some of the money they got for selling the rest.
Unhinged behavior.
All of the money and it takes a lot of effort to go through and sell each one of those rocks.
It takes no effort to check in.
It means it's stealing.
It is stealing.
It's literally stealing someone's shit and going to the pawn shop.
That's...
When you put it that way...
This is a crime.
That's insane.
It's just, oh, it's not because it's family and whatever.
I want to kick the brother.
I don't want to blame.
I want to kick her too.
No, she's a victim.
Brother's 21.
This is an older brother.
There are people to blame.
What a little asshole.
They have, I don't know if she's either just the nicest
person on the planet or if they have just belittled her
to feeling like she has no ground to stand on.
Probably also, yeah.
But you have people to blame.
This is fucked.
Next comment down.
My grandparents and parents gave my massive Lego collection
to my cousins when I went to college.
Supposedly they lost it all because of an airport issue.
Still bitter about that, LOL.
When I went to grad school,
I took pretty much everything of mine with me.
I mean, honestly, it's kind of the last two stories
really bring up a little bit of a lesson in
you really just gotta keep track of your own stuff.
And if it's special, if it's sent,
except for the one in the room,
that's obviously in your space, hung up,
like you couldn't have done anything.
But-
A fortune cookie, yeah.
But keep track of your stuff and keep your stuff with you.
The safest place for your stuff is either directly on you,
like certain jewelry or in like a safe.
I know.
Because no one will ever respect your stuff like you do.
But it's hard as a college kid.
Even if it has value or not,
it's the value to you that matters.
And if something is way high up on that totem pole.
Just bring it with regardless.
You got it. Something. I mean, because I'm looking at my life and like, there's a lot that I left at
home when I went to college. Yeah. Because I knew it would be safe. Right. And this person,
I mean, it doesn't sound like they had any reason to assume it wouldn't be safe. So that's hard.
But I'm imagining like, say even you do know, when I went to freshman year college, like,
I would not have been able to afford a storage unit.
Like that extra 60 to $300 a month for a storage unit, depending on where I got it, like that
wouldn't have been affordable for me.
I would, it would have been impossible.
So it's like, what do you
do?
I guess it's more if you have any inkling that someone is not trustworthy. Get it out.
Just find somewhere. A friend, grandma's house, or just somewhere you can just put it on a
shelf and know that no matter what, when you come back, it's going to be on that shelf.
You know what I mean? Just anyone that's listening, think about anything that you have out somewhere
and just make sure you keep tabs because it's easy to forget. It is. No matter how much
it means something to you, it's easy to, I mean, we have a lot of stuff these days.
I know. I'm so sad. So someone does comment, OP's reaction screams that they have been invalidated
a lot in their family,
so much so that they have normalized this.
Yeah.
Well, we do have some comments from OP.
Okay.
OP does respond to that top comment.
Why aren't you angry with them?
This is unhinged behavior.
Honestly, I do have some anger,
but I don't want to direct it at behavior. Honestly, I do have some anger,
but I don't wanna direct it at them.
They're not bad people at all,
but so far my mom, the only one I've talked to,
has been trying to act like everything is normal again,
and it honestly makes me feel worse.
They've never done anything like this before.
I'm just angry at the whole situation.
Next comment, they stole from you
and then sold the stolen goods.
Have they given you the proceeds of the sale?
I'd say your opinion of them as not bad people is wildly incorrect.
Only bad people steal from their child.
OP responds, my parents thought I was giving them away, so they weren't trying to steal
from me.
It doesn't really change how hurt I am, but it makes me feel bad to have them for it.
I'm starting to feel like I'm
underreacting, but I'm really conflicted since they provide for me and everything, which I know
doesn't justify anything, but still. No, I mean, you can never assume. Always just ask. It's so,
so easy. I know. A lot of comments. Like a lot of comments.
People are really just being like, you should blame them.
Like they're trying to get OP to kind of see like,
you are justified in your anger.
Your feelings are valid.
You should be more mad.
And it is really like getting there.
So someone goes, you should blame them.
Don't they have phones and FaceTime? Nobody called you to ask anything. Your family is incredibly inconsiderate and
I'm sorry your collection was destroyed. And OP goes, this is honestly the part that hurts
the most to me. It would have taken like two minutes to call me and my parents have taken
me to go buy rocks countless times. So I don't understand why they didn't think to second check.
Yeah.
I'm selling the brother shit.
Ugh.
What's he got? Sports cards?
What, I mean, what is this guy selling like he has?
A DVD collection.
Yes. Video games?
I'm selling all that shit. And I'm going on the console and deleting all. Yes. Video games.
I'm selling all that shit.
And I'm going on the console and deleting all his progress and any games.
Whoops.
Oh, you know what?
I thought you were just getting rid of them.
Oh, darn.
Well, since I thought that, I wasn't stealing, so I'm good.
And let's just pretend everything's fine now.
Insane. We do have an edit. Edit. My family didn't mean to steal. They just assumed I was giving
them away. It wasn't necessarily malicious, but it was definitely wrong. And I think the reason I'm
still struggling to be mad is because me and my mom have a really good relationship. She's the
person I can always rely on, and
I'm really hoping this situation is the misunderstanding I see it as. Thank you for your replies. I
haven't had anyone to talk to about it all day since my friends are all busy and the
only other people around are my family.
Edit 2.
My parents are well off so I don't think they sold them for the money. Any money made was
probably put into household funds and I doubt they made $1,000 off the items.
That's just how much I've estimated I've spent.
I would also feel guilty to ask them for that much,
especially since they are paying for my college.
So I'm thinking about maybe asking them
to buy something of equivalent value.
I've never had to bargain with my parents,
so I'm not sure how this will go down.
I'm going to talk to them tonight
since my dad is here now. I'm going to bargain with my parents, so I'm not sure how this will go down. I'm going to talk to them tonight since my dad is here now.
I'm going to take the advice
of writing something out to read them.
All the people saying I'm a pushover are 100% correct, LOL.
But I'm going to try to not be when I talk to them.
Listen, why is the brother not implicated?
I don't get it.
It was so deliberate on his end.
He probably made some comments to say,
oh, she left him, she doesn't want him anymore.
She told me that I could choose whatever I wanted
and then to sell the rest.
This is so malicious.
I don't care.
Why is he not buying something of equivalent value?
He's just like, oh, who?
And give me every single rock you plucked from my box.
Where are they?
Cough them up.
Cough them up.
And if you sold them, give me the money.
I'm selling this shit.
I'm telling you right now.
Well, we have one last update.
Okay.
All right.
Well. This is probably going to be my final edit.
I just talked with my parents and I used kind of a long speech that included some specific memories I'd connected to the Rocks and asked to be compensated financially for the loss.
I was crying the whole time, so I'm not sure how much of it they understood. Surprisingly, they're completely willing
to pay me back for it,
and my parents were both completely sorry
and admitted it was their fault.
They told me that they were surprised
that I didn't want the rocks,
but that at the same time,
I was giving away other sentimental things
like stuffed animals that they thought I would have kept.
Because of this, they didn't think to call me to confirm
since the times they had with other things, I had agreed. They said they're going to get everything
back from my aunt and brother, my mom has already rounded up what she took, and they
want to take me rock shopping the rest of the weekend that I have together with them.
This has been such a chaotic day for me, and I never expected so many people to reach out.
For those suggesting it, I am
looking into therapy. I think that my issues with confrontation and social pressure in
general warrant some professional help. My dad actually notes that he was proud of me
for bringing it up to them in the way I did. I'm going to be a combination of mad and
sad for a while, but now it isn't all stuck inside of me. Thank you to everyone for pushing me
to talk to them upfront.
I probably wouldn't have done it without the help.
Yeah, parents are redeemable, but I, you know what?
I'm very unsettled.
Very unsettled.
I'm pissed.
You know, you threw my very special memory-connected rocks.
And yeah, we're gonna go get some new ones, and that's great. Thank you.
But what about the goddamn brother? I don't get it.
Is he the golden child and just gets away with whatever he wants?
Older.
Because why is he not mentioned?
Older brother? Maybe firstborn boy, golden child.
But it's giving that OP still has a good relationship
with a parent, so.
Parent, I'm good with the parents now.
I don't know.
Parents, they're fine.
Yeah, it is.
Should have called, but now they're redeeming themselves.
It is odd.
There's no mention of the brother.
I'm gonna look at OP's account and see if anything else
was posted on the account since this.
Not seeing any other mention of the brother.
Not in the comments.
Not really in any of OP's comments is the brother addressed.
So I'm not sure.
I feel like I'm just like being gaslit.
I feel like I'm totally misunderstanding.
How do you think OP felt?
I mean, I'm so thankful for Reddit, especially with this one, because obviously this person has a history of brushing off their feelings and not addressing things.
Oh, that's big. Sweeping things under the rug.
So for Reddit to come through and like be outraged enough that this person is like,
okay, wait, oh, oh, oh, okay, yeah, I am valid.
I should be mad.
Yeah.
So much so they prepare a written speech and how much courage did that take? And to then have the parents be apologetic
versus gaslighting.
And saying proud, saying they're proud.
Dad's proud.
They still were a little maybe brush-offy,
like we thought you wouldn't care
because you're getting rid of stuffed animals.
Yeah, stop justifying, shut up.
Still trying to justify, but stop.
Just apologize.
But they are kind of on their redemption arc
of going rock shopping
and getting everything they can back.
It's very wild to me though, that they're like,
we're gonna get everything back from your aunt
and your brother, like we'll do that.
Versus like the brother being like,
damn, I'm sorry, like here is everything.
Like the brother is on my shit list.
Definitely getting coal.
Definitely getting coal this year.
We'll buy you $5,000 of rokes.
They better.
They better plan a nice vacation, take a gold mining.
That, see, that'd be cool.
I wanna go gold mining.
I would love to do that.
Not like gold panning.
I wanna go gold mining.
Someone. I wanna be hitting the wall of that cave or of the mine.
Someone told me some crazy stat the other day and I didn't look it up,
but someone was like, there's still like, I don't remember how much they said.
And I'm just not even going to put myself in that.
I mean, there's trillions and trillions and I'm just not even gonna put myself in that. Put my foot in it.
I mean, there's trillions and trillions and trillions
of dollars worth of gold in the oceans.
It's just too expensive to, you know, get out
because it's so spread out and so small.
Yeah.
You need like a gold hoard.
You need like a big deposit.
Well, and so like someone was the other day
talking about like gold mines in California
and how there's an abundance of money left in the mines.
And so I'm trying to Google like to find how much gold is left in California.
There are approximately 47,000 mine sites.
I mean, honestly think how many more places there could be.
There could be right under this building.
Nevada has the most open pit, mines left in the US.
You can go pan for gold in parks, hands and pans only.
You pay a little fee and go.
I don't even think you have to pay a fee.
It looks like you just go.
Only hands and pans though.
No dynamite.
See, well, I don't want dynamite.
I want that, you know, the...
Yeah.
That's crazy.
As of 2021, the World Gold Council's data suggest
approximately 50,000 metric tons of gold are in known reserves.
They just found one of the largest gold deposits in, like, modern times.
Damn. Gold is so cool.
I think it's worth up to like 78, 82 billion or something.
They just found a whole big, yeah.
Damn.
That's crazy. It's the largest ever found, yeah.
That is quite wild.
Yeah.
Okay.
I know we're probably feeling a little unsettled out there,
but moving along.
Another one of this week's partners is Shopify.
Cha-ching!
Shortly after starting the podcast, I started selling merch for you guys.
And before Shopify, it was a struggle.
I didn't know you had to charge sales tax based on what state you were selling to.
Shopify informed me of that.
And now selling is a breeze.
You guys probably wouldn't have merch
if it wasn't for Shopify.
Shopify is home to the number one checkout on the planet
and the not so secret secret with ShopPay
that boosts your conversions up to 50%.
So whether you're starting your business
or really looking to scale it,
the platform you use could make all the difference.
And Shopify makes sure that whether your customers
are scrolling or physically strolling through a storefront, you're going to be ready for
them. So upgrade your business and get the same checkout to how takes uses. Sign up for
your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash THT. All lowercase, go to shopify.com
slash THT to upgrade your selling today. shopify.com slash THT to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com slash THT.
Cha-ching!
Okay, so this next one is coming from r slash relationships.
It is titled,
My 28 Female Boyfriend, 30 Male,
Erased the Whiteboard I Had My Novel Timeline On.
Three years.
I've been working on my novel for about a year.
I write every day, even just a sentence.
Six months ago, my college switched to smart boards
and put all of their whiteboards in the garbage.
I grabbed two because I have a huge wall space open
in my living room.
Most of my writing is done on my Google Drive,
but I have things like character personalities,
names, places, a general timeline, etc. You
know, stuff I want to remember. I used to take photos of it so I had my ideas with me.
I used to write on my lunch break. I stopped doing that because I burned myself out and
my writing quality takes a huge dive. Plus, my boyfriend helps me write and it helps us
connect in such a deep way. So I haven't taken a photo in
about three months. The whiteboards are nice because I can read my notes across the room
while I'm sitting in my favorite chair. I got home last night and all of my stuff was
erased. It was all train of thought, like I'd come home and jot something down. Handwriting
is way more cathartic for me. I had sketches of things in the novel. I'd come home and jot something down. Handwriting is way more cathartic for me.
I had sketches of things in the novel.
I'd basically have to go through
and remember every single thing on it.
I have a lot of it stored in my head or on my Google Drive,
but there are some things I'll never get back.
But it's the fact he erased it.
We don't live together.
He told me I've been focusing too much on it
and I have no time for him.
We hang out at my house five, six nights a week.
I write while he plays video games.
It's a good dynamic and I thought we enjoyed it.
We are always laughing and he helps me with my wording
and I Google stuff to help him in his game.
This is the first time he's mentioned it bothering him. If he had brought it up, we could have just talked about it.
But he went nuclear, and I have no idea why. I don't know what to do. I'm so frustrated.
We have had one serious argument over his driving. He got better. My family took him
on vacation a few weeks ago. We watch his nephew all the time.
His family paid for my entire spring semester. We are so much a part of each other's lives,
and I feel so hurt and heartbroken. He's my muse, and just the other day we went to the jewelry store
to look at rings. My feelings rotate between rage, sadness, confusion, sorrow, anger, everything.
How do I even approach this?
Last night I was so upset I asked him to leave.
He hasn't texted.
He hasn't called.
He hasn't stopped by.
I keep typing in questions to ask, but I keep erasing them.
Quote, why did you do it?
Quote, are you unhappy with our relationship? Quote, why did you do it? Quote, are you unhappy with our relationship?
Quote, what did I do? I'm even more heartbroken due to the fact he hasn't called or texted
all day. I'm afraid to call him. I don't want to hear him say he thinks we should break
up or he doesn't want to be with me when I'm writing or just ignore my call. No rings.
No rings, not right now.
Uh-uh, mm-mm, nope.
Doesn't matter what you've done together.
It doesn't matter how long you've been together.
It doesn't matter if you just want on vacation
with the family.
None of that matters.
A lot of people use that to justify actions of their partner or to keep staying together
even though things are falling apart and there are all the signs that they shouldn't.
But listen, look at what just happened.
I don't understand why people deliberately attack their partner.
Why are you trying to tear the person down?
You should be the one literally physically under them, pushing them up,
lifting them up as high as you can.
Why are we attacking them?
I understand sometimes you need to have conversations and say, Hey, I think we
could work on this.
I think it would be better if, if, if, you know, you could help out more with this.
That's not attacking.
That's trying to come together
and work together as a team to get better.
And you're all waiting for it.
Communicate, this is terrible communication.
You're with a very, very immature boy
who can't express their feelings to you
without a deliberate attack on you. By, oh, I'm gonna go nuclear
and I'm gonna race all your shit
knowing you're not gonna remember it
and I'm gonna try and like mess you up.
Versus, hey, do you think we could sit down
and talk about something?
I've just, I've been feeling like, you know,
your focus is so dedicated to this and I would just been feeling like, you know, your focus is so dedicated to this.
And I would just appreciate if maybe, you know, we could take a little more time for
us.
Do you think we could work that in?
No, because you're with some immature boy who thinks, oh, well, I'm kind of sick of
my video games.
He's 30.
Let's get that, like, he is 30.
A 30 year old immature boy.
But I don't even like, I think like,
I don't even want to give him that credit,
that cop out of calling this 30 year old man a boy.
He is an insecure, oh God,
what other negative words can I use?
My brain is exploding with rage.
All I see is like that little inside out character,
the little red guy running around my control room,
hitting buttons right now.
And then there's anxiety in the corner of like,
say something really good, Morgan.
But I'm just like, I don't want to give him that cop out
because he is 30.
He should be able to communicate on a basic human level
by the age of 30.
Would you treat a friend like this?
No?
Then why are you treating the partner
that you love like this?
What?
What is going on in his head?
And I agree, if this bothered him,
he should have been able to communicate it.
But it would be so different if this person was writing and every single
time he came over, you know, the five to six nights a week as they're writing, he's sitting
there twiddling his thumbs. But he's not. He's playing video games. Why didn't he say anything?
Did he not want to play the video games? Or why all of a sudden this came out of nowhere. It's the fact that this has never bothered him before.
They even write together sometimes.
And he went from zero to 100 versus communicating.
Yeah, it's a trust issue.
It's the same as ripping up the fortune.
It's trust same as ripping up the fortune. It's trust.
Let's get into the comments.
My little red man is just button, button, button, button.
Man. Also, can we talk about how good Inside Out 2 was?
It was so good.
Top comment.
Holy crap.
As a fellow writer, I'd be livid if I were you.
Quote, this is the first time he's mentioned it bothering him.
Which is what OP said.
If this is true, and he jumped straight to sabotage, this is fucked up.
It's messed up regardless, because I'm sure your boyfriend knows how important this work is to you.
Like for him to not try to talk to you about this after three years is mind-boggling. Who does that?
Text him the dreaded, we need to talk message. Ask him when he's available and have him come over to use his words like a goddamn adult. Also, take his key away or change your locks if you don't want that to be upfront about it.
He lost his privileges.
To be honest though, in all sincerity, I don't know if this is something I can move past.
It comes off as so cruel.
He knew exactly what he was doing and he chose to go into your home when you weren't there
because he knew he was doing something wrong.
He either knows he fucked up
or he feels as though he's in the right
and that's why he hasn't reached out to you.
I'm shocked and appalled on your behalf, OP.
And that's the other side of this.
No call, no texts, nothing.
I don't know what reaction he was expecting to get,
but it's pretty safe to say that when someone kicks you
out of their house and asks you to leave, they're upset.
He's pouting.
He's pouting over the fact she's upset.
He's not sitting there realizing,
oh shit, I better fix this.
I better make amends.
I better blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Yeah.
And that to me, I'm not sure what's worse.
And a lot of people are gonna be like,
erasing the whiteboard, duh.
But is erasing the whiteboard worse?
Or is now that you know this person is upset and hurt,
you're stonewalling them.
You're not reaching back out,
trying to apologize and make it right. You're not reaching back out trying to apologize and
make it right. You're not coming over with flowers saying, hey, I am deeply sorry.
How about the combination? And her biggest fear is getting the, we should break up text.
I know.
I mean, this is a pretty, pretty real like reveal of character.
Huge.
I mean, this is, I'd be done.
Three years, I don't care, I'd be done.
This is like, I think by the time we were three years in,
I was just starting the podcast,
cause we met 2018 and I was basically, you know,
three years in, I'd be into the podcast, spending basically all my time
trying to get it off the ground and make it, you know,
what it was gonna be.
And that would be you who had access to my YouTube channel
because you helped me build it.
You helped me time and, you know, again, here and there
and whatever, like the podcast would not exist without you.
But that would be like you logging onto the YouTube
and deleting it, deleting the TikTok,
because you felt I was putting too much time into it
and not enough time into us.
I was doing the opposite.
That's insane behavior.
Late ass nights in the studio.
This could be the next, I don't know,
the next Hunger Games. This could be the next, I don't know, the next Hunger Games.
This could be the next huge book.
This could be Akatar in the making.
And you just erased the whiteboard
that had irreplaceable, unimaginable, again, details
because you felt a little neglected.
Yeah. No.
I mean, I can speak to that side of it a little bit
as a creative where I have had fully finished songs
or scores, you know, whatever it is.
And through something with hard drives or just files,
just something stupid, it is gone.
Fully gone and you spend hours crafting every single sound
and it's not like you can just recreate it
because the process and the creativity
to get to what it was.
Juices don't flow all day.
But what I will say for her sake,
yeah, some of those ideas may be gone forever,
but when you go in and you do it again,
there's a reason you're at where you're at and
there's a reason that you're even on this journey in the first place. You are going to get there
again. Whatever you lost, you'll get there again. And you know, it's not necessarily going to be
better. It could be, but it's not gonna be worse.
You're not gonna come up with worse things.
So yeah, it really sucks.
And I've been there many times.
I know what it feels like, but just if you hear this,
I think you'll come up with the same good
or even better ideas.
And it's just gonna be part of the story.
But don't let this guy near this shit ever again.
Come on now.
No.
Once someone shows you that, not again.
No.
Too risky.
No, absolutely not.
And all the comments, they really, they really, they say that.
They're, this is unbelievably fucked up.
I hate your boyfriend right now.
Remember in Little Women when Amy burned Joe's book
because Joe wouldn't let her come to the theater with her?
That was pretty messed up.
But ultimately Amy was a child
and she would grow up to be better.
Your boyfriend can't do better
than the most hated March sister.
He's showing you that when he doesn't get his way, he will punish you better than the most hated March sister. He's showing
you that when he doesn't get his way, he will punish you and destroy the things you care
about. Anyone that will punish you and destroy things you care about does not love you. That
is not someone you want to be with. Because even if that is their twisted thought that that's love, punishment is love.
That's wild.
That's unsafe, unhealthy, and you don't deserve that. It's completely unjustified.
That's not love. That's not love. That is a cry for that person needing help.
And to go bye-bye. That is a cry for that person needing help. OP responds to that.
I actually haven't read Little Women, but I ordered it for my Kindle.
It's just so out of the blue.
Part of me wonders if there's something going on with him beyond what he said.
I don't know.
Another person responds.
This is really fucked up.
As a fellow writer, I honestly would have broken down. That's so much work just down the drain because you wanted to get
your work completed. It's ridiculous. Honestly, if it were me, I'd have a fist
fight with the guy after I've stopped crying over the destroyed work. It goes
on. It's really long. Like definitely take the key away. There's no doghouse or you
can get this back when you earn it about it. I've personally been in this situation where I've had my old novella notebooks used
in a grill fire and with truth, I've never accepted the apologies. The person isn't even
a friend to me anymore. Not saying you should dump him or break ties with him in general.
Oh, not at all. However, I do say there should be a conversation about the relationship in
here somewhere. If he can't handle you being immersed in something you've put years into, something you love, he's not ready to date any
type of creator. And to be honest, it's scary that he honestly thought that destroying anything
that looked remotely important was the best thing to do in this situation.
Absolutely insane. I just could never trust again.
And I cannot imagine being with someone I couldn't trust.
And what's scarier is OP's response.
OP goes to say, back to that comment,
he stood there and he seemed so, I don't know,
proud, happy, vindicated.
I've had my jaw drop once before in my entire life
to the ventriloquist girl who was on America's Got Talent, LOL.
I didn't know it was an actual feeling of shock slash awe.
It did last night, right before I blanked out and woke up,
face down in my bed, asking him to leave.
Yeah, I...
I... No more words.
Well, we have an update.
That was posted three months later.
Justin's holding up his divorce sign.
It's been about three months since I made my post.
This somehow seems like it got really long.
The night I made my post, I went to a friend's house and she ordered a pizza.
We got ice cream and a bottle of wine.
She's a straight shooter, takes a neutral approach, and gives solid relationship advice,
so I felt comfortable talking to her about everything.
She couldn't figure out why he'd done it.
We went over how he and I hung out, how much he seemed to care about me, how we looked
into each other's eyes, but it also revealed a lot of hesitation
on my part. I'm a positive person and I tend to forgive faults or overlook them. I suspect it's
some sort of coping method from my childhood. We had some unresolved issues I think he was holding
in, but when I would bring them up, he'd just kind of get salty and go, it's fine, I don't care anymore. But then he would bring them up in arguments.
I didn't realize how toxic it was.
That same night I told him I was coming over the next day
to talk about things.
I told him I'd be over around 11.
And the only thing he texted me was, okay,
which I didn't respond to.
I went over to his house at 11 and he was still asleep. Okay. Which I didn't respond to.
I went over to his house at 11 and he was still asleep. He got upset when I woke him up.
It took the wind out of my sails.
On a good day, I cry if something upsets me,
but I was so angry and heartbroken, I couldn't even think.
I left without saying a word to him.
He didn't follow me.
On my way out, I went to the kitchen
and took my house key from his key ring.
I drove home in a daze, collected all of his things,
put them in a box on my porch
and texted him to come get them.
He said, quote, what the hell?
That's fine, I'll come by later and pick them up.
I went out with a few girlfriends,
we got day drunk and had some amazing food.
It made me feel better when I got home and as things were gone, I was heartbroken.
I never texted him.
He never texted me.
I got absolutely no closure, and even though people say closure is bullshit, I've had
the hardest time moving on.
It's been three months, and I still cry in the shower sometimes.
Even though I broke up with him, I still feel so confused and heartbroken. I never figured
out why he did what he did. I likely never will. And I miss his help and companionship.
I'd love to come here and say I finished my book, but I haven't written much since.
I can't get into my characters' heads anymore.
There's a feeling of loneliness and grief that's sort of helped me create a better outline,
but I can't write about my characters.
The other day I went to the bookstore to study. I ended up looking at books related to time travel
and found one that has thousands of positive reviews. My novel is science fiction,
and I've been trying to think of how to incorporate time travel so it kind of lined up perfectly. It turns out a lot of
my ideas mirror theoretical physics. It's eerie. I've never taken physics or
read about it. Suddenly string theory makes sense. Cosmology makes sense. I'm
blown away and it makes me feel so weird that so much of my plot has been
studied so in-depth.
The book has little fire under me.
Reading more about everything makes me so excited, and it helped me really flesh out
my plot.
I can't put it down, and I've read 20 or so pages a night.
I haven't actually made time to sit and read a book for years.
I always have a notebook with me, so now I write my ideas down.
I haven't written about my characters yet, but my passion is coming back.
My plot is making more sense.
Now I don't care much about how we broke up.
I'm not confused.
I sometimes get sad at night or during the day if I go out and make prolonged eye contact
with a guy.
I haven't thought about dating and I'm still too hurt to pursue it.
But every day I move on a little bit more.
I wanted to thank everyone who gave me advice.
I forgot about my post until now.
And when I went back through and read it,
it made me realize how seriously messed up it was.
And it gave me closure.
Thank you.
Perfect.
For those that are listening on audio, Justin has been frantically waving the therapy or
divorce sign around and it was a sight to behold.
So maybe pop over to YouTube just to see that if you want.
Gotta love a happy ending.
Yeah.
Because listen, you know, us creatives, we're fragile.
We're fragile.
And sometimes, if big things happen in your life,
big changes, it does really affect, you know,
whatever you're working on.
Yeah.
And it's amazing how one little,
even little things can just throw you off
in the whole day.
But there's so much about this that I love.
All the theoretical physics, amazing.
Maybe we add some time dilation.
I mean, as someone who just went and saw Interstellar again
in theaters for their 10 year anniversary,
70 millimeter IMAX, woo woo woo.
It was insane.
Listen, I could talk about that for an hour.
But we won't go down that road.
If you guys wanna experience a good movie again
and you haven't seen it in a while,
go watch Interstellar.
But string theory, I mean, I want to read this book.
Please finish it.
I love that your inspiration's coming back.
Yeah.
And you know, if you want to talk
about any theoretical physics
and how string theory could implement, you know, just.
Justin's over here.
I'm here, I'm here, okay?
No pressure.
Well, the thing is about this post, this post is seven years old.
So OP, if you're out there, if your book has since been published, please let us know.
Well goddamn.
I know.
I'm looking at the account and last post on the account was from seven years ago.
Listen, how many upvotes and whatever did this post get?
Looking at the initial post on r slash relationships, 788.
Okay, listen, you got 788 people that are invested in your story.
Come back and give an update if the book came out.
Give an update.
You got 788, I mean, hopefully 788 readers.
You definitely got one right here.
I know.
Let the people know.
I just want to give a little shout out to Direct Caterpillar 77.
This is coming from Best of Redditor updates.
This person is the top 1% poster.
Huge Borough contributor.
DMs and PMs are open for Borough suggestions.
So our two hot take ins out there.
Please send Direct Caterpillar any good posts and updates you see, but this is definitely
one from the archives
that they dug out.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, this is coming from 24 days ago on Borough,
but this post again, seven years old.
So thank you Direct Caterpillar 77.
It's like a internet password.
Yeah, I know it really is.
It really is.
But OP again, if you're out there, let us know about your book, okay?
Hit us with the book.
Hit us with the book.
Give us the beats.
We love a good book.
I'll read another.
I haven't, I don't know.
I don't think I've ever read a book since college.
We love a good book.
But okay, moving along.
Another one of this week's partners is Talkspace.
It's not a time of year where you could be seeing
a lot of family members, friends,
and things could just be coming to a head.
You could be anxious, stressed, overwhelmed,
on the verge of a breakdown.
That was me today.
And if you've wanted to try therapy,
but you thought it was unaffordable
or just not accessible for you, try Talkspace.
Talkspace is the leading virtual therapy provider.
They make getting the
help you need easy, accessible, and affordable. Talkspace has both therapy and psychiatry,
and they are covered by many insurance plans and employers. Most insured members actually have a
$0 copay. I myself have loved online therapy in the past. I've loved how convenient it is. I can
take sessions from my car, my home, a park, the comfort of my bed.
It's easy to tune into therapy when I feel that I'm safe
and can do it anywhere.
So if you're ready to try for yourself,
as a listener of this podcast,
you'll get $80 off your first month with Talkspace
when you go to Talkspace.com slash THD
and enter promo code SPACE80.
To get matched with a licensed therapist today,
go to Talkspace.com slash THD and enter promo code space 80 to get matched with a licensed therapist today. Go to talkspace.com slash THD and enter promo code space 80 to get $80 off your
first month and show your support for the show.
That's talkspace.com slash THD promo code space 80.
Huh?
I think I'm going to give you a choice on this last one.
I think so.
They're both two very good stories.
I'm just torn over which to choose.
Okay.
Option number one, am I the asshole for agreeing
to wear my mother-in-law's wedding dress for my wedding?
Or option number two, my best friend, 29 female, tried to sabotage my marriage
and I don't know why.
Okay, I'm gonna time travel and listen to the people.
Okay.
People have spoken.
What are the people saying?
The first one?
Yep.
If you're yelling at me right now, it's okay.
All right, you know.
Okay.
All you have number one.
Number two, we'll be headed over to Patreon.
Are you, what?
I'm just-
You're torn.
Do you want to change your choice?
Since you put it on me, can I put it on a coin?
Sure.
Okay.
You can put it on a coin.
I'm always down for a coin flip.
No one can be mad or blame me.
No one, listen.
What are you assigning to heads?
Number one.
The wedding dress.
Okay.
We put a lot of big life decisions to coin flips.
It's somewhat concerning.
That's okay.
That's why Justin has literally a coin app on his phone.
Tales. Tales it is. My best friend, 29 female, tried to sabotage my marriage and I don't know why.
The coin is spoken.
Okay.
So coming from r slash relationship advice, 22 days old, my female, 29, best friend, female, 29, tried to sabotage my marriage and I don't know why.
So I met my best friend Sarah and husband, 31, when I was 11. I just moved to a new country with
my family and my now sister-in-law introduced me to Sarah, 29. Now that we're adults, we share some
friends, but we each have different groups to do different things.
So I'm usually working in the office from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m.
and I have a 30 minute break
that I usually take to have my second breakfast.
And sometimes I go to my husband's office.
It's a five minute walk or a cafe near my job.
Sometimes I have to work out of my office
or go to another city.
Every now and then I mentioned to Sarah
if I have to travel for work during the week
in casual conversations.
Last week I had to travel for work on Wednesday,
but Tuesday night there was a red alert
about the weather the next day.
So my work thing was canceled
and I stayed home with my two-year-old.
My husband went out at 6 a.m. to make sure his business was closed and put up some flood protection.
And by 7.30 a.m., he was back at home making breakfast.
It didn't start raining until 1 p.m.
At 3 p.m., Sarah sent a message asking
if I was at home already,
because it was flooding where I was traveling.
And I just texted back, home safe.
We literally didn't go out until Friday.
Saturday, Sarah and I go to the same gym class.
She told me we needed to talk in private.
So we went to my car and she told me basically,
quote, on Wednesday, I saw your husband with a woman
and they were making out and your kid was in the car.
I was frozen a bit, but then I remembered that I was working from home with my husband
and my baby for two days.
I realized she was lying, but I didn't understand anything.
I asked three times if she was sure
it was this week's Wednesday,
and she confirmed it three times.
I asked her about the time and she said,
about 11 a.m. I asked if it was during the red alert.
And she said, yes.
I asked her if she was 100% sure.
And she launched into a whole description
of my husband making out with a gorgeous blonde
Barbie lookalike blonde girl in his car
in front of our kid near his office during the red alert.
So he was putting my son at risk and cheating in front of him.
I told her my work thing was suspended because of the red alert and we were both home the whole time it was activated.
She tried to say she got confused with the days, but she confirmed it three times.
I told her to leave and she left running. I
went home and did the whole betrayed spouse house search. There was no hidden
phone. I have all the passwords to every device in this house, not lack of trust.
It's because I manage a part of his business and he's bad with passwords.
Even looked after hidden emails and the only thing he was hiding was his paranormal podcast he listens to sometimes.
That night I told my husband what was going on and he denied ever cheating and even worse,
disrespecting his own son in that way.
I believe him 100%.
There wasn't a change in his behavior or routine. He gave up his phone
right away, and I told him I already checked everything in our house, and he told me to
check his car then. We decided to call Sarah together. She picked up on the third call,
and she was crying. I told her to just tell me why she lied. She swore she wasn't lying.
But she told me she got confused with Monday.
I told her Monday our son was in daycare
and we had breakfast during my break.
So at what time did my husband go to take our son
out of daycare, go pick up this girl to make out
in front of her, in front of our baby,
and then back to daycare for me to pick him up.
And then also have breakfast with me.
She cried more and told me she didn't know, so my husband told her to cut the shit and
just tell us why she was lying.
She said she was sorry and hung up and then had the audacity to block us.
I told the friends we had in common with her and everyone is mad and can't explain what
happened to her.
She's not picking up the phone but sent a message back saying she was sick.
Some of them asked her why she was lying
and she blocked them too.
Someone even called her mom and she is just as shocked.
Nobody understands what's going on.
I thought maybe it was a crush,
but my husband never liked her that much
so he didn't pay attention to her.
She isn't even added to his socials because she never liked her when Sarah was his sister's friend, or when she
then became my friend too. They don't interact unless it is necessary. So to say she got
a crush so big, she thought it was worth it to try to break up a family? I do know she
sometimes gossips a little too much, or sometimes she talks about things
that she shouldn't, but I never thought it would develop into something this big.
I had this girl at my side for really hard moments.
I had her back when she needed me.
She was one of the first people I told about my wedding and pregnancy.
I loved this girl since we were little.
I just don't understand and she is not talking to anyone.
Yeah, this is absolutely crazy.
She's got a hater.
This is like a huge fear of mine.
I mean, this one, fortunately,
it happened when she knows
and she knew right away that she was lying. If it happens at a time where
maybe, yeah, it made sense that you're that he had the son and made sense that he wasn't home,
then it's her crazy ass versus my word or his word. And what do you do?
All of a sudden you have this huge issue with your partner.
You've done nothing wrong.
And they're very close friend that would never lie to them.
They've been friends since they were 11.
Swear.
And I'm so fearful of this because how do you then,
if you don't, like what physical proof would you actually have if he hadn't been home in this red alert? What actual physical proof?
What if you didn't have anything?
I mean, we've had a story like this. A couple was married. One of her friends was a psychic.
Her friend told her her husband was cheating on her.
She believed him.
The family even believed that he was cheating.
They hired a PI.
PI found no proof of cheating.
And he had begged her, he had begged her,
please, I'm not cheating.
Believe me, believe me.
He tried for months.
She didn't believe him.
So family hired a PI. PI proved he wasn't cheating.
Her parents offered to buy them a house
if he stayed with her and he still couldn't.
I mean, weird shit like this happens.
So it is very like she could have ruined their lives
with this lie.
And for what?
That's, I mean, that's the question.
For what?
What's the motive?
Are you just bored?
Are you just the unemployed friend on a Tuesday
that is wanting to? Jealous?
I mean, maybe.
Jealous? You want the husband?
It's gotta be something.
Oh my God.
Do you remember that one story we read at a live show?
And it was like, I'm in love with my best friend's husband.
Yeah.
And I want to do something about it.
Yeah.
No, I got it.
It's giving the flip side of that.
That, God.
Oh, that story was so crazy.
It is, but it's also not shocking, right?
It's not shocking that that happens, but this one with no clear reasoning and then also
just kind of destroying your own life, right?
You're now losing this friend you've had forever.
And other friends too.
And she, you know, you were the first one that got told when all these major life events,
like you're throwing that away for what?
And now anyone else, like, yeah, they have the right to tell everybody.
I would be telling everybody.
And now all those people, when they don't agree with your super very weird action,
now you're blocking all of them too?
You're self-destructing.
All right.
I mean, my mind goes to-
The blocking everyone is aggressive.
At this point, I would be very concerned.
I would be like, what is happening with you?
Mental health crisis.
Do you need help?
Yeah.
I start to get really concerned because it's so out there.
And it could be that.
It could be she's going through something really intense and-
That's what I mean.
And so I'm just like-
Want her friend back.
Yeah.
And it's just, you know, the one that's more, makes more sense is the friend that is obsessed and in love
with her friend's husband.
That makes more sense of like, okay,
her being so in love to do something like this,
like that computes.
Yeah, it's crazy, but it computes.
This for me, all of a sudden I'm just like, I'm concerned.
Yeah.
Top comment on this one.
One, she wants you to be single
so you're free to hang out with her.
Two, she wants your husband to be free.
Why though?
Three, she wanted to stir up drama.
Right.
Four, she was mistaken regardless of her reason.
She's not a good friend
and you're right to distance yourself from her.
For sure.
Next comment down, misery loves company?
Question mark.
Jealousy seems to be the most logical explanation here.
This is the kind of shit I see my mom doing.
Just making up shit about other people
in order to stir up shit
because she's so miserable in her own life.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, that's very true.
There's people that love drama,
and then there's a whole nother level of people
that love to just create drama in a thin air,
just to mix it up.
Well, we have an update.
Okay.
So I got the truth finally,
and it was far more stupid than I thought.
Ha!
So Sarah's mom told me to come to her house
for a conversation with Sarah,
and to bring a friend as a buffer.
I went for closure.
She apologized a lot,
but I literally had to interrogate her
to give me reasons, and I finally got them.
She lied because she was mad
that I missed our girls trip,
a five girls group for the second time.
Once because I had a two month old baby
and this year because I had to work during August
and it was the only month everyone else was free.
Okay, so both reasons had nothing to do with your husband.
What here?
I need to pause you because what logically makes you think that attacking her relationship
with her husband is going to free her up?
One obligation was for the kid and the other was for work, neither of which had anything
to do with her husband.
If anything, the husband would help her make girls trips.
Sorry.
Sorry, I just feel like we're two brains.
No, no, no. I'm not upset. I'm saying yes.
Like that helps your cause because he could watch the kid
while you're on the trip.
He could help.
I don't know how you can help in the work situation, but none of it relates to the husband.
So you're dumb.
I traded my vacations for December slash extra days.
They owed me.
So I will be out of the country from December to January 10th and miss her birthday
in December and other winter activities in January. Her reasoning was that if I thought
my husband cheated, she was sure I would leave, but he wouldn't let me take my son abroad
for too long without him so I would be forced to stay, but would be able to travel during
my husband's custody time.
This is psychotic. She was just being mean and selfish
because of a trip that I missed and a birthday.
She thought it would be okay to break my son's family
so she can have all of her friends for attention.
I told her to never contact me again
and to avoid me everywhere.
Yep.
My friends are aware to not invite me to things
if she is going to be there, but everyone
is mad at her so she is the one not being invited.
Good.
This is painful as hell.
I would have been able to forgive and work on things if she was having a mental health
issue or drug problems.
Yeah.
I actually sent her mother recommendations for mental health professionals during the
week.
Almost 20 years of friendship down the drain. I treat my closest friends like family because
Apart from my husband's family. I only have my sister in this country
I make time for them pay attention and help them when I can
I thought she wanted the best for me as much as I wanted the best for her
Yeah, but lesson learned, I guess.
Yeah, it really sucks to lose longtime friends.
But when you do, generally there's a reason.
And again, it goes back to what I said earlier, whether it's a relationship, friendship, whatever
dynamic of relationship it is.
Sometimes, yeah, you outgrow it,
but sometimes there's a reason they end.
And it's for the better.
It doesn't take away from the 20 years
of amazing friendship, or at least it shouldn't.
No.
Yeah, it colors it, but really, this is a one-off.
I know we're not being friends in the future,
which I think is the right move
after something like this. Absolutely.
But it doesn't take away from what you guys did have.
Right?
You had amazing times through high school, college,
all of this stuff, and that's great.
But now it just doesn't make sense.
And because you had all that,
does not make it, you shouldn't make an excuse for this
because of the history.
Yeah.
And a lot of people would, right?
A lot of people would be like,
I don't want to throw 20 years of friendship down the drain.
But, you know, chalk those great years up for what they were great.
But now you guys have just outgrown each other.
She is someone who has not grown mentally. Clearly.
She thinks it's okay to ruin a family for her own selfish reasons, a girl's trip and her birthday.
You're gonna have many more birthdays, girl.
And guess what?
Your birthday is gonna be real lonely now.
Good job. Real lonely now.
Great job.
Did you think your friend was just gonna take you
at your word and not investigate her husband?
Like, did you think she was going to be like,
oh my God, thank you for telling me.
Here's divorce papers, babe.
No, no one would do that.
She met her husband the same time she met you,
11 years old.
This is someone she's probably been friends with
or deeply connected to, same amount of time.
And she's married to him with
a kid. Who do you think it's going to be at the end of the day? Where was the rationale
in this? And for what? We said, for what? For a girls trip and a birthday party? She She needs to have a hobby, a few hobbies.
Yeah, therapy, therapy as well. Yeah.
Justin's holding his therapy sign again
that he threw on the ground after one of the last stories.
I mean, for her own sake, in her own life,
let's not make moves like this
and cherish friendships for what they are
because it sounds like you just threw away a friend that would have
Done anything for you. Yeah, so
One of our friends made that
It's not hurt and I think our friend that made it would appreciate my use of it. That's true
Well, I think this episode is a great learning lesson for all of us.
Do not be friends.
Do not date.
Do not have family in your life that hate you.
Like, bottom line, life is real short,
and it is too short to have anyone in your life who
is secretly one of your biggest haters.
And when people show you who they are...
Believe them.
Believe them.
Which, speaking of friends, I will give you a reason why you also should never date someone
that hates you.
Because let me tell you, real love is out there.
I dated a lot of haters.
A lot of my biggest haters I dated.
Justin had already been planning this, but I then read that crochet advent calendar,
or maybe it spurred the idea even more.
I don't know the exact timeline of that for you.
Well, I'll just say it gave me the final push
to really commit.
To really do it.
Yeah.
So Justin has put together an advent calendar for me
this December.
We started on December 1st and we go until December 25th.
An extra day.
An extra day. An extra day.
Yeah.
I've been posting what they are on Instagram
and I gotta update the people,
but each day has been something like really cute
and really special and just like showing how much he like
listens and appreciates and loves me.
And day 10 was a custom collage shirt.
Kind of like this one even. 10 was a custom collage shirt.
Kind of like this one even. Kind of like his Cooper one from Interstellar.
But you know those like band shirts
where they have like the collage of all like the people,
whether it's Taylor Swift, Mudang, whatever.
He did one of my pony and it is the cutest thing
in the world.
It turned out so good, but the best part,
or like, I don't know, maybe it's tied.
He wrote a card from the pony to me, and I was bawling.
It was the cutest thing I think I've gotten in years.
And so to be seen is to be loved.
And you should settle for nothing less, but to be seen.
So love is out there and do not settle.
Do not waste your time settling at all.
Okay.
That is all I have friends.
I have a couple more stories from this. You must hate
them or there's hate involved here. Again, I don't know what I'm calling it yet, but
I have a couple more stories from this theme.
One you read the title.
What?
One you already read the title to.
What is it?
And the one, the options, the option one.
What was option one? The wedding one, the options, the option one. What was option one?
The wedding dress, the dress.
Oh yes, wedding dress will make it there.
There's another one that just makes me want to rage about a dad making his son cry.
And I will be introducing you, if you join, if you're on Patreon this month for December,
I'll be introducing you to my editor, Jenna.
Jenna and I recorded some Patreon stories earlier,
so she got a few from that theme,
and she had some pretty good takes.
The free story for December also includes Jenna,
so come on over, even if things are tight
and you don't wanna spend any extra money, totally fine.
Come on over, free stories.
There's a lot of really good ones actually.
And two for December, I believe.
So come on over and join us.
But thank you guys so much for being here.
I'm working on a holiday theme, naughty or nice
or something along those lines.
I might have a very special guest for it,
but it's gonna be really, really good.
So stay tuned.
And other than that, thanks again.
Love you all until next time.
Until next time.
Bye.
Bye.
Thanks for watching!