Two Hot Takes - 217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore

Episode Date: May 22, 2025

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Kaelyn Moore from Heart Starts Pounding! Would you rather find out something bad right away or on that person's deathbed?! Is ignorance and its b...liss better?! Well some of these stories really put all those thoughts to the test. Like your husband accepting "rent" on a home that's secretly his or your friend saying she's destined to hurt you.. luckily Kaelyn is here to help! Let me know how you would handle these ones!! Partners: https://Colgate.com Promo Code: TwoHotTakes Checkout Kaelyn's Content: MY EPISODE ON KAELYN'S SHOW: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umnOSSWWNps https://www.heartstartspounding.com https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR9md7CvNeB9YYGbSPebzwA EP WE TALKED ABOUT: Bonus Content on Patreon including FREE episodes: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes ⁠⁠⁠⁠ MERCH HERE ! ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://shop.twohottakes.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ Send us a letter? Our PO Box!! Two Hot Takes. 5042 Wilshire BLVD. #470. Los Angeles, CA 90036 WRITE IN TO US!!! ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes ⁠⁠⁠⁠ Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes⁠⁠⁠⁠ Index: 00:00 -- Start Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:30 This episode is presented by Colgate Optic White. As you guys know, wedding coming up and I want my teeth to be white. So I was super happy when I went to the dentist the other day, looked at my pictures from six months ago and my teeth are noticeably whiter. And that's thanks to Colgate Optic White. But whether you're the bride or a guest or you just want whiter teeth, you can get a smile glow up with Colgate's Optic White Overnight Whitening Pen.
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Starting point is 00:01:15 We're rolling. We're finally doing it. This is insane. I know, because we've talked about doing this for a while. I think we've like tried to get it sorted for like two months now. Yeah, so actually not that long. Two months is like kind of nothing. In our world it's just going in a blink. Time's moving too fast these days. Seriously.
Starting point is 00:01:31 Oh, I'm so excited for this episode. Welcome back to another episode of Too Hot Takes, you guys. I'm your host Morgan. And today I'm joined by Kaylyn Moore. Hello everyone. So happy to be here. I'm really excited for today. Kailin and I started another show. You may have heard of it by now. It's called Clues and on Clues we get into true crime cases. And you know what my favorite feedback so far has been? Oh, what? I was terrified of true crime. I didn't think I could listen to it. I was, you know, worried another True Crime podcast that's whatever. And everyone has been like, it is so good.
Starting point is 00:02:12 It's so palatable. You're telling the stories in such a respectful, cohesive way. I'm learning new info that I hadn't. Yeah, I'm really glad that that's coming through because we work so hard on the episodes. We do so much research for the episodes. Oh my gosh. And we're just like the way that we build the episodes out too and want to convey the information in a respectful way, but like also all the information to build out the
Starting point is 00:02:36 whole case. Like I'm just, I'm really glad that's coming through and the reviews have been like great. Like I'm so happy with how it's going. I know everyone on the first episode too was like commenting where they were coming from and we have such a good mix of listeners and we're still working on a name for the people that join us over on Clues. Yeah, what were our favorites that we saw so far? I liked Clue Minotti. Clue Minotti, that one I hadn't seen and I really did like it. I think like the Clueless
Starting point is 00:03:04 kept popping up quite a bit. Yes. But I don't know if I really did like it. I think like the clueless kept popping up quite a bit Yes, but I don't know if I'm sold on any there was one that was like cloobee doobie do People are really creative. I couldn't have come up with any of those and I think you guys I think the cloobee do or whatever Came from our story. We had a couple weeks ago the whoopie doobie the bowling guy. Oh I don't think I heard that one. He started saying like, Whooby Dooby during sex. His wife was like, Please don't do that. What?
Starting point is 00:03:31 And he like slept on the couch that night. He was so embarrassed about it. Oh my gosh. It turns out it's his bowling catchphrase. Oh, so it makes him feel confident. Makes him feel confident. Yeah. It helps him, apparently, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:03:44 So I'm like, did you guys come up with that from that? But regardless, go over and listen to Clues. By the time this episode comes out, we should have four, if not five episodes live. And it's a really good show. And we cover a variety of stuff too. I mean, we're doing like DB Cooper. We have some mysteries like that. Also more serious true crime.
Starting point is 00:04:04 I think there's going to be kind of something for everyone. Absolutely. And we are always open to case recommendations. So send them our way. I know we're really trying to cover some less known ones coming up and really highlight people of color as well. So send any wrecks our way. But today, but today you on your show, which I always butcher the name, Heart, starts pounding.
Starting point is 00:04:28 Yes. You got it. Let's go, baby. Yep. You have like a segment or you do a recurring thing where you do deathbed confessions. Yeah, that's one of the, we've done a couple episodes that are all based on people's deathbed confessions. What's the craziest one you've gotten?
Starting point is 00:04:43 I was actually thinking about this earlier. So it's such a variety. Like one that I was rereading was this woman on her deathbed and like her last breath said that she didn't care about owls and her family for like 50 years had been buying her owl figurines because they thought they'd come over and see that she had all this owl stuff and they're like, Oh, she must love owls. I'll get her little owl napkins. I'll get her a little owl, whatever. And then on her deathbed, she's like, yeah, I never cared about the owls.
Starting point is 00:05:09 Like that was just something you guys assumed and just kept buying. But I never wanted to, I didn't want to be rude. I don't want to say anything. A way to go out. I know. So that one, the family was like, Oh my gosh. But on the most recent episode, we just covered one that came out of Illinois. This woman, she's dying.
Starting point is 00:05:24 She calls her daughter over and she goes, do you remember 50 years ago when a little girl disappeared from our community? I think it was my son that took her, your brother, and the night that it happened, the police came to our house and I lied on his behalf because I didn't know where he was. Oh my God, full blown chills. No. And it was the oldest cold case in Illinois to be reopened. And like the story is wild too because they go after this guy, they have all this evidence. Like there's a lot of twists and turns in that one. So that's in the most recent deathbed confessions episode. People
Starting point is 00:05:57 should definitely listen to it. It's a trip. I'm literally after we're done. I'm like, I know what I'm going to be cleaning my house to later. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god. The whole time I was doing the research, I was like, I know what I'm going to be cleaning my house to later. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. The whole time I was doing the research, I was like, like goosebumps. I want spoilers, but I don't, I don't want to ruin it for other people.
Starting point is 00:06:11 It will be linked in the description of this episode. We'll link that one. So easy to find. Yes. Holy crap. Okay. Well, today's theme kind of plays off that it's kind of a mix of like, that could have been a deathbed confession. Like
Starting point is 00:06:26 it was so bad. Oh, but thank God it wasn't. I was thinking about this because I was like, how do I set this up today? And I asked myself and I was like, if I knew something really bad, would I want to find out when that person's dying towards the end? Would I want to be ignorance as bliss mindset with them or would I want to know as soon as possible? Right. And I think there's a case for both. Like some things you want to know as soon as possible because there's a lot of people that it affects and other things you're like, I'm so glad I didn't know that about you while you were alive because it would have changed
Starting point is 00:06:58 everything I thought about you. I know. So I'm like, which would you prefer? And this is all kind of like, thank God it came out, but it could have been one. So I'm so curious. It's going to be, it's going to be a good one. So let's dive in. Okay, our first one. This is coming from AITAH5HoursOld titled, Am I the asshole for finding out I've been unknowingly paying rent to my husband and his mom for two years? I, 31 female, have been married to Brian, 33 male, for two years. Right after the wedding, we moved into an apartment he said was a great deal from
Starting point is 00:08:12 a family friend. We agreed to split rent and utilities 50-50 to keep things equal since we were starting fresh and wanted to avoid money fights. So I've been sending him $700 a month just for rent this whole time. Three days ago at a barbecue, I overheard his mom talking about how, quote, it's nice getting rent from Brian's place and how smart they were to keep it in the family. Turns out his mom owns the apartment and Brian's on the deed too. I had no idea. He never told me. He just let me keep paying rent for two years like a clueless roommate. When I confronted him he said I never asked and that I'm overreacting
Starting point is 00:08:59 because we weren't overpaying. But I feel completely blindsided. It's not just the money, it's the secrecy. I told him I won't keep paying until we talk about a fair setup. Now he's acting like I'm the problem. Am I the asshole? No. I mean, she says it in like what she's writing. I assume it's a woman, but like, it's not about the money. It's about the secrecy. I feel like there's a couple of red flags. The first one being the fact that you're just not being transparent about it. You're married. You're married. Also, like I married, I wouldn't mind like if we were living in a place that was owned by my mother-in-law, like I wouldn't
Starting point is 00:09:39 mind if that's where the money was going. If I wouldn't expect to have a free place to live ever. So I don't think that's not like a deal breaker. He didn't really have to even lie about that. No. Which is strange that he still chose to. And I think that is like the big red flag is like you are lying about things you don't need to lie about. And I think that just like that transcends into a lot of other areas of relationships. For sure. And it's so weird when he was confronted, it's turned on her so quickly. You never asked. Yeah. Well, like, I didn't feel like I had to. You told me a family friend. You didn't say my mom owns an apartment, but he's also on the deed. So you own the apartment. So you're just collecting my money from me every month. Yeah. Like,
Starting point is 00:10:24 where does it go? Because if it goes straight in his pocket and he's literally lying about this, I would be so irate. If it's going to his mom, paying for the overall upkeep of the building, whatever, okay, it's $700 a month. That's pretty fair rent. But then, but why do you have to lie about that? Why lie? $700 is month, that's pretty fair rent. But then, but why do you have to lie about that? Why lie?
Starting point is 00:10:45 $700 is incredible for rent. Pretty much anywhere in the country right now. I know. So like, I would not be mad about having to pay $700. So you could tell me that money's going anywhere, as long as you're like being honest about it and I'm not really gonna be upset, but it's a lie. And for me, it's the, your husband having a little secret with his mother that he's
Starting point is 00:11:06 not telling you about. Oh, I don't like that. That I don't like. No, I feel like on other stories you've read on this show, too. It's like my husband was lying or my boyfriend was lying to me or my wife, whoever was lying to me because like they were colluding with one of their parents. Oh, yeah. I just I feel like that is always such a bad, it's bad news whenever that's happening. It is. And I did the math too. I pulled up my little calculator guys, don't worry.
Starting point is 00:11:32 Didn't do it in my head. $16,800 over the course of two years. Like that's not. That's a lot of money. Yeah, that's substantial. To not know where that went. And maybe they're just like holding on to the money. You don't know what they're doing with the money.
Starting point is 00:11:47 I don't know. No, it's just a weird dynamic. Really weird. Top comment on this one. It's not even that you didn't ask. He said it was a family friend. It wasn't. It was him.
Starting point is 00:11:58 Yeah, I think I missed that when you first read it that he said out loud it was a family friend. Like that is a lie. Uh-huh. Like that is a lie. Like why do you have to say that? Well, and it's like, you never asked, but she kind of did. She's like, like, where are we living? Oh, family friends place.
Starting point is 00:12:12 Like she did kind of ask. Yes. Oh, you didn't ask me if that was a lie. Like what? I figured the person I'm marrying is going to be honest and truthful with me. I didn't know I need to be suspicious of my partner. Right, or like ask for an explanation on every little thing that you're doing.
Starting point is 00:12:29 Because you can't do that when you're with someone. No, here's another really, oh this makes me so mad and I didn't really consider it. The next comment after that goes, and I bet she's the only one paying rent. Yes, oh that too. I bet he's not paying anything for it because he's mommy's little boy. No chance. Yeah, she's not asking him for money. And OP responds, yeah, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. He's never shown me his half of the rent going anywhere. Starting to think I was the only one paying anything.
Starting point is 00:12:58 Oh my gosh. I, yes, I would believe that she was the only one paying. I'd burn that place down. I know. Well, oh my God. That is a relationship ending type of conflict to have. It really is because it just speaks to such a bigger issue within the dynamic and the relationship and his dynamic with his mom and how it's not really you and your partnership that's prioritized. He is prioritizing his mom and whatever that weird deal is. Or you're subsidizing
Starting point is 00:13:31 his living and he's not being a fair partner at all. Like, it's super strange. Yeah. Super strange. I totally agree. There is a comment here, big yellow box, lots of upvotes, facts. OP, the bigger issue at hand is that your husband and your partner not only lied to you, but they also committed financial infidelity. Oh yeah, that's a, yeah, people talk about that now, financial infidelity. That's like, that's, I'm sure I've read it on here before, but like having it in this
Starting point is 00:13:59 context, it's like, ooh. Which by definition is when a partner in a relationship or marriage lies about, hides or fails to disclose information regarding money. So fits the box. My question would be now, what else have you lied about? Followed by, I do not know if I can ever trust you again. Those are the hard questions you need to ask. Once trust is broken, it's hard to ever get it back. Especially with money stuff. Isn't that, they say that's the thing
Starting point is 00:14:27 that couples get divorced over the most is finances. I'd believe it. And so if you're already with someone who's not honest about money, I mean, does he have a ton of debt that he's not honest about? I feel like there's so many other areas of finances that people can just lie.
Starting point is 00:14:41 And he's clearly very comfortable lying about it. So I would be skeptical of his financial situation, I guess. I would too. And just like, it's, it's just so unfair. It's like the injustice of it all that really pisses me off with this one. No update from OP. I hope we get one. I know I want an update on that because I want to know if she did confront him, how she had that conversation because that's probably really important for people to know is like, how do you talk to a partner who has like,
Starting point is 00:15:12 I don't know if it's considered financial abuse or financial cheating, whatever. Like, how do you talk to someone? Cause that's like this nuanced thing that I think is coming up more and more in relationships. Financial abuse is really being highlighted right now. Yeah. Especially in my world of Reddit. And this could, in a sense.
Starting point is 00:15:28 Amongst couples? Yeah. Like there's a story I have saved for another episode right now where this woman writes in and she's like, my husband says I can only go on my friend's hen-do if I pay for it myself and arrange child care. And it's like, it's your husband, he's the father of those kids, he should help. And then she gives more context that she's like, I'm a stay at home mom, I have no financial income. And so it's like, so you're essentially saying she can't go. He's just, yeah, like that's, yeah,
Starting point is 00:15:58 it's a control thing at that point, yeah. But we'll get into that one. Ooh, wow. There's only one other comment from OP and she goes, thanks, but do you really think it's this serious, like divorce level serious? So I don't know if it's like the severity
Starting point is 00:16:14 and like how serious this is, like clicking with her yet. Yeah, it sounds like she doesn't understand that it's, or maybe she's not seeing the bigger picture of like, oh, this could mean bigger, worse things for our relationship. Or this is something that he like is maybe indicative of like down the line when we have kids or a house or like some other big financial thing as a couple. He also is maybe going to lie about that or not be honest or financially cheat, whatever. But like, yeah, maybe she doesn't see how serious it is. But like, that's bad.
Starting point is 00:16:43 Well, and the question is, how long would you have let this go on? Because I don't think he was going to come clean. Oh, yeah, like how long would he have let it go on? Yeah. And if you found out that your husband ended up owning your apartment or your house that you're living in and on his deathbed goes, Kaylyn, I've been taking all your rent money. What would you do? Like, okay, well then I'm done paying for your medical care.
Starting point is 00:17:09 Well, this is getting expensive. So let's feed this up. Yeah. Damn. Like how long would he have continued lying? I think that so people who say, well, you didn't ask, I think it's like an internal thing of like, well, if they don't ask I'm not lying So I'm not doing anything bad so I can continue doing this and like that's not true
Starting point is 00:17:30 But that's how they reason it in their head So I think he really was like well, I'll just go until she asks but obviously he already lied about it So even when she asked he's gonna lie about it, but yeah So just forever as long as she doesn't know forever. I know. Yeah. Oh, that's bad. That one. It's bad. Makes my heart race. I know, cause he didn't even tell you.
Starting point is 00:17:49 Girl, you overheard. And you overheard. Oh my gosh. From the mom. From the mom. Like she's brazen. Cause the mom is laughing all the way to the bank. Like this is, I have such a sweet setup cause my.
Starting point is 00:18:01 Uh huh. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Horrible. Insane. Hopefully we get an update I'm gonna keep my eyes peeled on that one I want one even if you text me when you get it just posted yeah I literally read a story last night this is probably the worst one I've read in years this mom sent her son a link to her only fans
Starting point is 00:18:19 with nudes yeah I recorded it last night for today's episode. I was up till 3am. Not a good, not, I'm a little crazy today. But I recorded it last night, like 10pm, went home, edited it, woke up this morning and someone literally goes, she just posted another update 10 hours ago. I just missed it. Wow. So these updates, they come in real time. So yeah, so you have to be checking all the time. I gotta be checking. Maybe she'll see this story on TikTok and she'll be like, that was me. This is my update. What'd they say? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:52 This next one, I also am going to need an update for. It's coming from AITAH, four days old, titled, Am I the asshole for not having good answers for my newly discovered adult kids? In October of last year, I learned I had fathered two kids when I was a teenager. DNA confirmed this in December of last year. I had no idea I had other kids, other than the kids I'm raising with my wife out there. Their mother I met when I was 15 and she was 16, and again when I was 17 and she was 18. She was visiting my friend's family for a month both those summers and we hooked up.
Starting point is 00:19:34 I used condoms every time, but I clearly fucked it up somewhere. She didn't tell me anything about having a kid when she came back that following summer. Neither did my friend. My friend only found out she had kids a few years ago. When my adult kids found me, they had come after a long search. They DNA tested a few other guys and it took years for their mom to tell them about me. When they reached out to me, they told me they had a lot of questions and I didn't have good answers for them Not before or after the DNA test all I could ever tell them was I had no idea they ever existed They didn't believe me. They told me there was no way I knocked their mom up twice and didn't know either time. I
Starting point is 00:20:19 Explained everything to them how she was someone I only met that summer, and how I didn't speak to her in between both summers. I told them I heard nothing from her after she left that second time. They pushed me to know more. They had questions about why I didn't save for them, write to them, fight for them. They refused to accept that I didn't know, and they're mad at me for a lack of good answers. They told me I needed to do better for them. Am I the asshole? That is so complicated. I feel like, no, these situations are so nuanced.
Starting point is 00:20:54 I mean, we've dealt with a couple of these in my family. I think a lot of people have, especially with like the DNA companies coming out. Like we've learned a lot about my family, but it's very nuanced. I guess coming from, this is so funny. I literally was on ancestry.com the other day researching this part of my family that I just discovered.
Starting point is 00:21:14 Oh my gosh. And having the questions of when is it appropriate to say something. You never know when you reach out to someone if you are going to shatter their entire world of like everything they thought they knew about their family. Not everyone knows as much as you do. And so the dad reached out to the kids, right? And this, I think the kids found him because mom finally came clean. Yeah. Like, I don't, maybe she didn't even know, But like, it's, it's just so tough. And it's so appropriate for people to be mad in this situation. I don't think the dad is an asshole. I also don't think the kids are assholes. I don't know
Starting point is 00:21:57 if they have this like long history of loving someone who they thought was their father. And now they have this like, I understand that the dad is upset, and that's why he's taking to the internet to be like, am I the bad person here? But it's just, it's so complicated, and people's feelings regarding this are so complicated. I know, and it's hard, and it's clear that like, these kids, which we never get an age for,
Starting point is 00:22:21 but like the title says adult kids, so I'm assuming at least over 18. But it's clear they have a lot of hurt in whatever they went through too. And their mom, it took years for their mom to even come clean and tell them that, oh, this other guy kind of exists. So it's like, they're just kind of grappling with those big feelings and the pain and whatever, because that would be hard where it's like, who's our dad? Just tell us.
Starting point is 00:22:48 There's things that you don't even realize when it comes to these situations of medical history where you're like, okay, well, this whole other person, maybe, this thing I discovered about myself, it's genetic and that actually came from my father and now I'm learning who my dad is. There's so much you don't even realize that goes into it. So there's, I just, I really, I feel so much for everyone in this situation. It's really, really tough.
Starting point is 00:23:12 I'm glad this came out though. Like that's kind of step one. And like, hopefully this can lead to something better for all of them in the future. I actually have a listener and I've met her in person. She's so sweet. But she wrote into our subreddit a couple of years ago now and was like, I found out I have over 50 siblings because of a DNA thing.
Starting point is 00:23:33 Oh, because her dad like probably donated a lot of spring to a bank. Yeah. There's a lot of horror stories like that. Stuff like that happens. And it's like, you can't change the past. Like you now know, and you can go forward and have relationships. Like these kids, like they're hurt. Yeah. They said, like, why didn't you fight for us?
Starting point is 00:23:53 But the dad's willing to embrace them. That's what it sounds like. The parents are not always open to taking in the new children. Did I tell you about the episodes that I just did on Heart Starts Pounding about Georgia Tan? No. No. So in the 1940s, there was this woman in Tennessee, like 20s to the 40s, it was a 20 year span that she did this.
Starting point is 00:24:11 She was a social worker who would- She would steal kids, right? She would steal kids. Yes, okay, I know about her. She would go in when the mom, like it was always like poor single moms, like mom just gave birth, is on a ton of meds. This woman would come in and be like,
Starting point is 00:24:24 hi, I'm a social worker, I'm running a new program where if you like sign single moms, like mom just gave birth, is on a ton of meds. This woman would come in and be like, hi, I'm a social worker, I'm running a new program where if you like sign this paperwork, I'll take care of your baby for a little while, you get back on your feet and then I'll bring your baby back to you. And the mom would sign the paperwork totally out of it and she would vanish with the children, gone. And a lot of the kids started finding each other
Starting point is 00:24:41 when they were doing the DNA tests because they were like just getting all these matches back like you have these siblings and all of them, it was too late to meet the parents basically. And so it's one of those situations because we're talking about deathbed confessions where it's almost better. It's so there's so much pain, but I do believe it's better to come out as early as it can so you can sort it out. And if you are able to have a relationship that's so beautiful because a lot of believe it's better to come out as early as it can so you can sort it out. And if you are able to have a relationship that's so beautiful, because a lot of times it's just way too late and someone's dead when you figure it out or someone is close
Starting point is 00:25:13 to death and they don't want to change their entire life and everything they've ever known to like take in this new child. And yeah, it's so I, I know it's like painful and sad for this family, but I am glad for this dad that that's how it happened. I agree. Top comment on this one. These are questions they need to be asking their mom. Well, yes, also that.
Starting point is 00:25:35 OP actually responds and says they won't talk to her about it because she lied to them repeatedly. I'm honestly surprised she came clean and it wasn't a deathbed confession for her. Yeah I wonder what it was that changed in her if she had some sort of like wake-up call or I don't know yeah some people just wake up one day and they're like you know what I'm gonna tell the truth. It's also so crazy that she like came back already having a kid maybe she wanted just two kids with the same person. I'm just like this whole situation. Yeah, I mean, we could touch on that.
Starting point is 00:26:07 It's not my place to judge, I guess. But like that also is just blows my mind too that she had a kid and came back and then had another kid. Hiding a whole kid. I mean, yeah, I wonder what year it was though. They're adult kids. Like, yeah, he used to, I mean, even now you can like hide kids and stuff. So that's very true. Yeah, also true. Not a lot of other, you know,
Starting point is 00:26:32 comments from OP adding context. DNA test is legit. He saw it himself. He knows they're, you know, telling the truth. She didn't bring the kid with her during those summers, you know, when she, the summer when she came back, he wouldn't know she was from a different state and they literally did not talk after that summer when he was 17. There's not anything he can do. And hopefully they go forward and we get an update that I want to, I want a positive update. I'm really hoping for that. I think this will be good. There was no mention of like, my wife is upset that I have these other kids. There's no mention about anything other than him being worried about hurting their feelings
Starting point is 00:27:13 and not having better answers for them, which it gives me a lot of hope. I agree. They all sound grounded and normal. So hopefully they even whatever the mom, but like, save, save, but yeah, hopefully they could figure that one out. I think I have hope. I'm so curious if you're listeners, I'm sure there's going to be comments about this, but this affects so many people. Like so many people just learn stuff about their families and like who their parents really were, whatever, like they have siblings they didn't know about.
Starting point is 00:27:45 So I am so curious if people like have this kind of situation in their family. I think that would be a good thing if you guys are willing to share too. Like if you have something you learned about someone, you can be very vague in the comments, but like I had a someone tell me a deathbed confession and it was this, like I would love to hear some of the crazy ones you guys have gotten or things you learned after your parents or uncle, grandma, grandpa like passed. Like I had, oh, I had one story long time ago. This person was writing in a Reddit where their dad had died and their mom was still
Starting point is 00:28:21 alive and very sad. And the mom got super drunk one night and told the writer that, oh, just so you know, your dad was also my brother. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Wow. I know.
Starting point is 00:28:38 So crazy stuff comes out. See, that one you could have taken to the grave. If I was a kid, I'd be like, I didn't need to know that. I know. But she got a little drunk and I don't know. Wow. They ran away together. They were from Germany, ran away to the US together so they could be together.
Starting point is 00:28:53 You know, isn't it New Jersey where you can marry your siblings and your parents? Oh no. You might want to fact check me on that, but I did read a long form article about a daughter that married her dad in New Jersey. And it was, if I could unread anything, I think it would be that. Oh my God. I'm like so scared. In the states of New Jersey and Rhode Island, incest between adults is legal.
Starting point is 00:29:18 Yeah. Ew. Yeah. Okay. Why'd you do that to us? I know. I'm so sorry. If I have to bear witness to that, then someone else does too.
Starting point is 00:29:28 If I had to know, you all have to know. And that's how I feel about this next one. Story number three here for us coming from r slash relationship advice, five days old. It is titled I 22 female believe my boyfriend Believe My Boyfriend, 28 Male, Might Be Tampering With My Toothbrush. This is probably the weirdest and most disgusting thing I've ever typed, but I think I'm slowly realizing that my boyfriend has been doing something really fucked up. We've been together for about a year and a half. He's always been a little passive aggressive when he's upset.
Starting point is 00:30:05 He won't talk things through, he just gets quiet or moody, gives me the silent treatment, things like that, or even accuses me of trying to continue arguments when I'm trying to hash things out until the conversation ends. He loves to reset and act like an issue or disagreement never happened. Anyways, a few months ago, I started noticing my toothbrush was being moved. It's electronic, and it would be off the charger on its side or the whole thing was scooted forwards or backwards. I thought it was just getting knocked around because our counterpart is small.
Starting point is 00:30:39 Eventually, I started noticing that it would be wet in the middle of the day or other times when I hadn't recently brushed my teeth. One time I noticed something on it, like it had been used to clean grout. That's when I started keeping a small spare toothbrush hidden in my makeup bag, which never was moved or messed with. Here's the part that really makes me feel sick. I finally confronted him after struggling to come to the reality that someone might be this disgusting and said something straightforward along the lines of, quote, are you doing something
Starting point is 00:31:15 to my toothbrush when you're mad at me? And he just laughed and said, you're crazy. And then refused to talk about it further. I don't even know how to process that. Like what? I haven't seen him do it, so I don't have proof, but I know something's up. I feel crazy, but my gut is screaming at me that this is real and he is getting back at me by putting my toothbrush in the toilet or something else that's gross.
Starting point is 00:31:43 I haven't told anyone because it's honestly humiliating and gross, but I feel trapped between thinking I'm paranoid and realizing I might be with someone who would literally put my toothbrush in the toilet to get back at me. What do I even do? I don't even, I don't know. Like, I don't think your instinct is wrong. If your toothbrush is being moved around something's happening, like something is moving your toothbrush.
Starting point is 00:32:08 Yeah, you don't have a ghost. You don't have a ghost. This is not an episode of Heart Sized Founding. You don't have a ghost. But if you think you're with someone who needs to get back at you, you have to get out. That is so scary when people feel the need to get back at people. If you're in a relationship with someone, you don't have to get back at them. How scary is that too?
Starting point is 00:32:34 Okay, you're starting with putting my toothbrush in the toilet or cleaning the toilet with my toothbrush to notice that there's grout looking stuff on your toothbrush. Which I'm like, that was not grout looking stuff on your toothbrush. Which I'm like, that was not grout. That was probably poop scum from your toilet. That's disgusting. So if they're willing to do that, something that like you put in your mouth,
Starting point is 00:32:55 it's almost like, eat my shit. Like that's literally like. You're gonna get sick. You're gonna get really sick from that too. Yeah, but it's like, okay, where does that then go? Like, oh, you start putting Vizin in my water or like bleach in my water. I think it's like that. I think it escalates. It escalates from like poop on the toothbrush, which that is already a 10. So like to escalate beyond that is just like really, really gross stuff. And I think
Starting point is 00:33:18 you're right. The like bleach in the water, just really dangerous, disgusting stuff. Yeah, there's, I just saw this on Tik Tok and it's like the most sad, sad thing. There was a girl that went viral recently for like a funny video and she was finishing up nursing school just about to graduate and her roommate just killed her over like an argument about cats. Killed her? Yeah. About cats.
Starting point is 00:33:40 An argument over their cats. Like he's already doing something really bad, dangerous, crazy to you. Yeah. That's the thing too that's really scary is like, I understand if you're in the heat of an argument and someone's like getting mad in the moment, but to then leave a situation, remain mad, go through all the steps of doing this horrible thing behind someone's back and never once stop yourself. That to me feels like a really dangerous person. Well, it's happening often enough that she's really noticing it.
Starting point is 00:34:09 Yeah, he's getting something out of it. What do you feel about a camera? Like for me, that was my first thought. I would have to put up a camera. If I were in that situation, I could see myself being like, I am not the kind of girl that has to put a camera in her bathroom
Starting point is 00:34:23 to make sure someone's not sticking my toothbrush in the toilet. But I don't know, maybe I am. So the thing is for me, this is over. But to have peace of mind, to have proof in case you need it down the line, like in case he goes goofy when you break up with him and you need a restraining order, it would be nice to have that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is a time you guys where I am okay with a camera.
Starting point is 00:34:50 But it's a camera in the bathroom. So also if you're giving that to the police, then are they going to be like, well, why are you filming inside of your, you know, that also can get dicey. You might have to tastefully edit things. Yeah. At least get the. But at what point I just feel like people's intuition is really strong.
Starting point is 00:35:08 I feel like... Oh, she's right. No, and I think she's right. So I almost feel like she doesn't have to do that. She doesn't sound like she has any history of like paranoid delusions, right? She's not like, oh, this, and then also the government's after me.
Starting point is 00:35:20 It's like, I just feel like this person's doing this to me. I feel like she doesn't even need proof. I feel like if I just feel like this person's doing this to me. I feel like she doesn't even need proof. I feel like if your gut is strong enough to feel you're going to live the rest of your life being like, did I put this here? Did he move it? Is like, should I get into bed? Did he put something in my sheets? Like, you know, like you just have to leave at that point. No, your peace of mind is forever gone. Yeah. The deathbed confession I was telling you about where this woman was like, I think my son may have done it.
Starting point is 00:35:47 She didn't have definitive proof in that moment. But the fact that a mother would assume her own son was capable of that was enough for people to be like, Whoa, whoa, whoa, we got to investigate this more. Yeah. So like, and to me, I think that speaks volumes, like, if you love someone so much, and even you could visualize that person doing that to another person to you, someone so much and even you could visualize that person doing that to another person, to you, that's a really bad sign. Yeah, that's a really good point. Everyone thinks so highly of their own kids. You had
Starting point is 00:36:14 another episode I listened to. It was the one where you were going through mailbag and you talked about the Australian, I don't know if it was a prison, but like one of Australia's worst shootings happened there. And you were talking about it and how like this guy's own mother was like, no, he couldn't do that. No, no, no. It's like the delusion. The Port Arthur massacre. The worst modern day tragedy in Australia is horrible. And unfortunately, yeah, the mom just is like, no, my son said he wasn't there, so it couldn't have been him.
Starting point is 00:36:49 People are crazy. Because they just, yeah, they really believe the best in people, like they see past so much stuff. So if someone even beyond that is able to say, like, I think this person is capable of this, like that's usually a really bad sign. Oh my gosh. Top comment on this one.
Starting point is 00:37:05 Just break up. The fact that he's moody and gives you the silent treatment is enough of a reason. It's immature and exhausting behavior. But if you have this gut feeling about your toothbrush, just trust and leave. You're on point, look at you. Well, that's funny too, that they're like,
Starting point is 00:37:22 no, actually this other stuff that's not even as bad as the toothbrush is like more than enough reason to break up. Like you don't have to install cameras. Like you have so much reason already. I'm just like, I love being a little detective. I'm like so against cameras too, but I'm like, like sneaky, like cameras recording your partner. I'm like, I'm so against that, but I'm like, you need to know. No, but I think you bring up a good point where also, like, I mean, this girl is being
Starting point is 00:37:45 called crazy. So you start to doubt yourself and you're like, oh my God, I think I need actual proof. Yeah. And so you get to the point where you put cameras in, but you don't need that much proof. No, the comment does go on to say you don't need proof. You don't need a good enough reason. Also his response is bogus.
Starting point is 00:38:02 If my husband asked me if I tampered with his toothbrush, I'd reassure him not call him crazy. Then I'd give him a new toothbrush from my stash if he doubted his. His response of calling you crazy is just unkind and doesn't explain your legit concern. Does he gaslight you in other ways? There's so many men out there that you won't have to worry about with this. Just dump him. OP does respond.
Starting point is 00:38:29 I think I already knew what I was going to need, but needed reassurance to get the courage, and I've been too embarrassed to talk about it in real life. He's asleep next to me right now, and I haven't been able to sleep all night thinking about this dumb shit, so I made this throwaway. I don't know if he gaslights me, but he definitely believes there is a give and a take to everything, and if I upset him, then in turn, he has full rights to retaliate towards me whether he mentions the issue to me or not. He's demeaning and discourages me from attending classes. I don't know what I was holding on to our relationship for. Feelings,
Starting point is 00:39:05 I guess. I could tell he thought me realizing was genuinely funny. I wonder if she wants to have children or like ever pictured children being in the future of their relationship because what are you going to do when a toddler who is like pure chaos does not operate on any sort of like ethical scale, does something that doesn't need to be retaliated against. Like, are you gonna, do you need to retaliate against children because they do something that upsets you? There are people out there and that's the energy he's giving. That's this guy.
Starting point is 00:39:36 That's such a good point. Or like your dog poops in the house. What are you gonna do? Like, oh God, no, no. Someone who feels the need to retaliate is, yeah, the biggest red flag to me. Well, we get an update on this one. Oh, good. Oh, I'm so scared.
Starting point is 00:39:50 I haven't read it. I'm like, oh, please have a happy ending. Please say you installed a camera. Yeah. OK, update. When I wrote that post, I felt sick, confused, and honestly ashamed. I didn't think anyone would even read it, let alone respond.
Starting point is 00:40:06 But I did get a response, a lot of them, and something about that, being seen in a situation I've been quietly drowning in, shifted something in me. I didn't give him another chance because I still couldn't believe what was happening. I gave him one because a part of me still wanted him to redeem himself, and wanted him to see how scared I was, how small he'd made me feel, and do something decent for once. After that first night I posted here, I thought maybe if I brought it up again, calmly, and gave him a real opening to be honest, he might finally do the right thing. Instead, he doubled down.
Starting point is 00:40:43 This time, he implied, it might be his daughter, an eight-year-old. He shrugged and said, "'Kids do weird stuff like that. Maybe she's been playing a trick on you.'" And when I tried to bring up how unsafe and confused I've felt for months, how he used to leave my food out on purpose when he was mad, how he pushed me to drop both work and school, how isolated and anxious I've become, he brushed it all off. Said they were just normal relationship disagreements
Starting point is 00:41:11 that could have been worked through if I communicated better. It was so dismissive, it actually stunned me. I realized in that moment nothing I said would ever matter to him, and never had. So I dropped it. I smiled, I pretended to believe him. I told him it was probably all just in my head. I didn't expect anyone to respond when I reached out. I've been so cut off from everything, but one of them did pretty much immediately,
Starting point is 00:41:37 like she was waiting to hear from me again. She told me I could crash on her couch for a few weeks while I find a job back in my home state, probably bartending or waitressing again. I don't care. I just needed out." So it sounds like she reached out to someone she used to know. Thank God. She waited for me at a restaurant nearby. All I had to do was text her the second he left to drop his daughter off with her mom. The moment that door closed behind him, I grabbed everything I could carry,
Starting point is 00:42:06 just a couple of bags, and left all the big stuff behind without even looking back. It took six hours to get back home, but I'm here now, I'm safe, my body already feels different. Full blown chills at that. Of course, I've already gotten texts, his daughter's mom, her family, asking where
Starting point is 00:42:25 I've gone and begging me to come back, or saying the kid will miss me, that I was so good with her and they need help, and yeah, I will miss her too, I really will. Shouldn't ask for any of this. I'm not doing this for anyone else anymore, I'm doing this for me, for the version of me who used to have friends, who used to go out and had a whole future planned. Thanks to everyone who commented and who reminded me that being scared in your own home isn't normal. Y'all helped me find the nerve to leave." Oh.
Starting point is 00:42:55 I'm so happy for her. I am so bummed he has an eight-year-old daughter. I know. Poor little thing. I just made the story so much worse. Because if he's doing this to her, he's doing that to that little girl too. Yeah. Like you don't behave. Daddy's not talking to you. What the fuck? Retaliating against a child? No. No, but I am glad she got out. So, so happy. She does have one last line here. This will be my only update on Reddit probably, but if anything else exciting happens Maybe I'll come back to this throwaway account and let y'all know lol. Okay Yeah
Starting point is 00:43:32 Wow that's hard. It must have been hard leaving also the kid Oh my gosh, and so much stuff like I I knew I needed to get out I left with only a couple bags because there was so much more context in this update post that we didn't even know about. This was actually, it was not just the toothbrush. It was leaving food out when you're mad at me, separating me from family, friends, not letting me go to school or work. It was such a bad... And also saying you needed to communicate better with me, like just putting the whole
Starting point is 00:44:05 onus on her. It's Darvo. It's literally like deflect, like accuse, whatever the acronym is. Yeah. It's literally that. Oh, it's so, so crazy. That is. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:20 That's really rough. Top comment on the update. Proud of you. Glad you got away safely. Don't respond to any of them and focus on healing. Definitely don't respond, yeah. Don't. That's good advice. Block them all.
Starting point is 00:44:30 Yeah. I feel so happy, but I'm like, I'm really sad for the kid. But that, okay, another like picturing that story all the way through, can you imagine Justin being on his deathbed? And then the thing he says to you is, I've been sticking your toothbrush in the toilet for 40 years. I would, I would be scared of what I would do. Yeah. I would be. That's another one where it's definitely good that it comes out a lot earlier. I know. Yeah. I know. And like trust
Starting point is 00:45:00 your gut you guys, like this is one where it's like, it really was like, her instinct and she knew and that line where she was like, my body instantly feels better. Yeah, right. What was it here? My body already feels different. You probably can just like, relax your muscles a little bit more. Your nervous system when you are being in like a toxic situation, whether it's a work environment, friends, family, relationship, like your body can make itself sick from stress, from being on edge. Like you can literally be sick. I was just talking about this with my husband because I had acid reflux for like a whole
Starting point is 00:45:41 year. Oh my God. And he was like, I just don't know what's wrong with your stomach. I'm like, I don't either. I'm like, listen out. Every doctor I went to they're like, are you stressed? I'm like, no,. Oh my God. And he was like, I just don't know what's wrong with your stomach. I'm like, I don't either. I'm like, listen out. Every doctor I went to, they're like, are you stressed? I'm like, no, it's not that, it's something else. And then finally I like, I mean, we moved to Texas.
Starting point is 00:45:54 I was like a little bit away from everything. I just kind of like decompressed a little bit. And I very actively worked on like relaxing and meditating and stuff. Okay. Acid reflux went away. I'm not saying if you have acid reflux that you should just relax and it'll go away. I think I was making myself sick with how just stressed out I was.
Starting point is 00:46:17 I think a lot of it I was doing to myself too, just making myself more stressed, which I love to do. Why do we do that to ourselves? I don't know. For no reason. I tend to think of the worst case scenario all the time with everything. But what if this goes badly and then that just, yes, it makes you ill over time. Our bodies are so wild, so wild. Yeah, but our bodies know. They definitely do. Definitely do. Okay, this next one, y'all, buckle up.
Starting point is 00:46:49 Okay. So this one is also coming from Relationship Advice, 12 hours old. It is titled, How do I, 36 female, move forward after my best friend, 37 female, told me she is destined to kill me. Oh wow. Okay. Yeah. I'm buckled up. Trigger warning, mental health issues. It's on the top of the post here. I'm going to provide a detailed background, probably even too much, but I'm not holding back because at this point, I feel like every detail matters and context is exceptionally important.
Starting point is 00:47:24 I met A when she transferred to my school in ninth grade. We were instantly best friends. We spent a lot of time together, and I felt like I had finally found a true friend. She devastated me with the news less than a year later that she had bone marrow cancer. I was distraught. I thought I was losing my one and only friend just after finding her. I wanted to do anything and everything to make her better. My dad was also saddened by the news as she spent a good deal of time at our house. She didn't have bone marrow cancer.
Starting point is 00:47:56 She was physically healthy, told me it was a false diagnosis. This was only the first issue that came up in our relationship. She has since lied about breast cancer, cervical cancer. These are lies I have confirmed with her family members. She has admitted to stretching the truth. She can't keep her story straight. She, at 32, claimed that her father did things to her as a child, but a year later said it was her karate instructor and that her dad would never have done something
Starting point is 00:48:25 like that. When she was 33, she was out of state and I had to call the local law enforcement because she said she had a firearm and was going to use it. That's really just the tip of the iceberg here. There's so much more, but I'm choosing not to get into this. All of this to say, I don't know what to believe from this woman's mouth. A few months ago, A and I went out on a weekend outing at a locale a few hours away. For the most part, it was a lot of fun. We stayed in a fancy, haunted hotel, did a lot of walking,
Starting point is 00:48:56 and talked a ton. It was like we were 14 again. We ate well, I drank well, she's sober, and then as the night was winding down, she looked me dead in the eye and said, quote, I'm going to kill you. I was caught off guard and laughed it off at first, but she doubled down, quote, you killed me in a past life, so I'm destined to kill you. Apparently, a blonde woman with my eyes was speeding in a red car and ran over A as she was crossing the street. I just pretended it didn't get to me because again I don't know what to believe and if she was being serious and we went back to our accommodations. She proceeded to have a panic attack. I
Starting point is 00:49:39 helped her through it and she fell asleep. I've been trying to figure out what to do since. Obviously I know she needs help. I've been trying to figure out what to do since. Obviously, I know she needs help. I've begged her to get help before, but she refuses to take medication. She doesn't drink, but does use cannabis. She has described extremely vivid hallucinations. Her ex has custody of their kids, likely for good reason. I've come to the conclusion that I want and need to let her go. I need to know how to do so safely. She lives an hour away, but knows where I live. I don't know how seriously I should take her death threat. Please help." I would say take it seriously, even if it's
Starting point is 00:50:21 not ever going to come to fruition. Like, just the fact that she said that is indicative of like some sort of serious thing happening to her. You know, I feel like you don't need to run. You should also maybe shouldn't ask Reddit. No, that's tough. It's hard. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:40 I actually could see a lot of people being in a situation like this where maybe they had a friend who went through some like really scary mental health things. Yeah. That like, at a certain point, cause I've dealt with this before in high school where I had a friend's mental health get to a place where I could no longer be of any assistance. Like you can't even really be like a listening ear
Starting point is 00:50:59 because it's just so out of control. And you're scared that anything you say is gonna be the thing that tips them off. And I feel like she's smart to know that like that is the point in which you separate. Yeah, I think it's very clear. Like you have spent, what are they? 36, 37 now, met in ninth grade, which you're like 12, 13. You've spent 23, 24 years being this person's friend, trying to help them and putting up with a
Starting point is 00:51:28 lot of things already, like being lied to about bone marrow cancer, breast cancer, cervical cancer, different stories about family members and abuse. Like that isn't okay. And you've still remained her friend and just given her such grace because whatever reason. So I think you do a slow fade and keep your head on a swivel. I would be curious if she's tried to separate in the past, like during maybe one of the cancer proclamations or, you know, and like what that was like, like maybe that is a reason why she's afraid. Because if you're asking how do I do it safely, there's, I imagine
Starting point is 00:52:09 there's part of her that's like, my friend is capable of having some sort of meltdown or like emergency if I try to leave. So I want to make sure that that doesn't happen. Or else I would just say you could probably just like you were saying slow fade. But yeah, it makes me think that like she's really scared that the friend will have some sort of big episode if she just like cuts her off completely all at once. And that could be very triggering. Like for someone that has mental health issues, like that loss of a lifelong friend could, I feel like that could cause an active psychosis. I'm not sure. Not a psychologist. I would love for a psychologist to chime in. I know we have some trauma specialists that like do really deal with stuff like this.
Starting point is 00:52:50 And they're in the comments sometimes. Because like, I think there are a lot of people out there. And we actually have a case coming up where we are going to be reaching out to providers and psychologists to learn how to properly address someone who is in more of an active psychosis. Because it's like, it is out of a lot of our depths, but we do encounter mental health all the time. It's very important. So it is good to like, if you have a family member and they're going through that, like, what is the best way to respond that keeps everyone safe and helps them the most?
Starting point is 00:53:24 Right, that's the key. That's the dance. Yeah. Best way to respond that keeps everyone safe and helps them the most. Right. That's the key. That's the dance. Best way to respond that helps them the most and also protects everyone in this situation. Like saying, I'm going to hurt someone else or myself. That is even for professionals, like a huge, that's like where they draw the line, right? Of like, okay, well, we have to 5150 or, you know, so I think even as a friend, like it's absolutely appropriate to be like, this is the final straw. A lot of comments on this one. Yeah. Just tell me what other people say. I feel like I have no, it's hard. I'm not a professional. It's hard, but it's like, it's one of those things
Starting point is 00:54:01 where it's like, thank God you found out now versus like, you don't even know that you have to like look over your shoulder. Yeah. Like you don't know that you have to like, kind of be more on edge now because this person does have some thought within them that they are destined to kill you. That's really scary. The like past life thing. It is interesting. It's like a spiritual psychosis
Starting point is 00:54:26 almost. Oh, in a past life, you, what'd you say? Hit me with your car? Yeah. A red car, like the details. Yeah. It's some sort of, I don't know what that is, but that's really spooky too. I know. So top comment on this one with 134 upvotes. Some comments, there's about 100 now, but it's still kind of flying under the radar right now in relationship advice. So top comment is, I'm really sorry you're going through this. You're absolutely right to take this seriously. What your friend said, regardless of whether it's a delusion, a cry for help or something else, is a red flag. When someone explicitly says they are destined
Starting point is 00:55:06 to kill you, that is not something to ignore, especially given the long pattern of manipulation, erratic and potentially dangerous behavior you've described. You've clearly been an incredibly loyal, compassionate friend for a very long time, but it's okay, necessary even, to prioritize your own safety and peace now. Yeah. She has shown a refusal to seek meaningful help, and her instability has escalated into potentially dangerous territory. Here's what I would suggest. Distance immediately and quietly. Don't confront her or try to give her closure. That might provoke her. Begin by minimizing
Starting point is 00:55:43 contact. Don't tell her when or why you're pulling back. Just do it. Document everything. Save text, voicemails, messages, especially anything related to the threat. Screenshot what you remember from the conversation if it wasn't written. Keep this all in a secure place. If she ever shows up or contacts you in a threatening way again, you'll need it. Consider a protective order. It may feel extreme, but if she escalates or you feel in danger, having this documentation will help you file for a restraining order if needed.
Starting point is 00:56:14 Talk to a therapist. This is a traumatic situation, and untangling from a relationship like this, especially one that started in childhood, can be really painful. Having that professional support will help you process the grief and fear safely. Inform close friends or family. Let people around you know what's going on so they can check in. You don't owe her your safety. You did what you could for years, probably more than most would have, but she crossed a line that you cannot unhear. Whether or not she meant it, the threat alone is enough.
Starting point is 00:56:47 Please take care of yourself. You deserve to feel safe in your own life." Yeah, that really sums it up perfectly, I think. Right there, baby. Yeah, that was really well put. Yeah, OP does see it and responds, thank you. I really appreciate your attention to the specifics of the situation. I've definitely been distancing.
Starting point is 00:57:05 I have audio recordings as well as text. Wow. Yeah. Getting the documentation, right, in case something happens and you have to show it to the police. It's almost like the crime junkie version of like your folder if something happens to you and like you go missing. It's like, okay, well, here's my picture and here's who could have done it and all the documents that you're going to need. Yeah. Yeah. Passport, birth certificate, whatever. I don't even know what they say. They say put like fingerprints and stuff in it. Oh my God. DNA. I don't know. Hair clippings? Probably. Yeah. It feels like excessive a little bit to have a folder like that. There's enough pieces of hair in my car for me shedding. It'll be good.
Starting point is 00:57:48 Someone will find it. OP does have a couple other comments that luckily, like she has cameras and things like that but doesn't have a doorbell camera. So is going to get one of those. Yeah, but taking it seriously and I'm sure there's a lot of guilt there, but absolutely doing the right thing. Yeah, I agree. I agree. Wow, that one's... It's a heavy. That one's really heavy.
Starting point is 00:58:12 It's a heavy. Yeah, woof. I know. Also woof. This next guy. Oh man. I know. It's really bad. Is this one going to be heavier? I don't... It's not... I don't know.
Starting point is 00:58:24 Okay, hit me with it. I don't know. Let's do it. Trigger warning on this next one, friends. It does contain very serious talks of some mental health issues and mentions of SA. So if you can't handle that today, please skip to the next story. Markers will be in the description. Okay, this next one coming from AITAH, two days old, titled, Am I the asshole for calling my fiance's mom obsessed with him at dinner in front of
Starting point is 00:58:51 everyone? I'll be honest, I was already irritated before dinner even started because his mom always has to be involved in everything. She invited herself to our anniversary dinner. We were celebrating four years together and she showed up in a white dress. Like dead ass. A literal bridal white floor length dress and heels. She said she wanted to feel pretty too. I'm already biting my tongue. Anyways, we're all talking and laughing and she cuts me off mid-sentence to tell this long story about how when he was a baby, he would cry if she left the room and she used to sleep on the floor next to his crib.
Starting point is 00:59:32 Okay, whatever. Later, she then touches his face and goes, quote, You'll always be my favorite boy. No one will ever love you like I do. Everyone kind of laughed it off, but I was stunned because it's not even subtle anymore. Like she's obsessed with him. I didn't even think. It just came out of my mouth. I said, quote, do you hear yourself? You sound obsessed. He's your son, not your boyfriend." It was silent. Like fork hitting plate silent. His brother
Starting point is 01:00:09 literally choked on his wine. His mom looked like I had slapped her. She said I was being disrespectful and dramatic. And started crying, saying, quote, I've loved him longer than anyone. And, quote, you don't understand mother-son bonds. He took her aside, said that I was rude and ruined the mood, and he didn't even check on me when I got up and left. I Ubered home, he hasn't texted. My best friend says I went too far, but I don't know. It's been two days and I feel even more angry.
Starting point is 01:00:46 Like I'm supposed to compete with this woman forever? Be second to someone who acts like she's his ex? I don't know. I'm spiraling. Did I cross the line or finally say what no one else would? I feel like this story is the couple from the first story if they had actually gotten married. Oh my God.
Starting point is 01:01:09 Yeah. Her fiance, husband and like his special little relationship with his mommy. That's like the thing on TikTok right now. Right? Have you seen all those videos that are like, get ready with me to take my son to prom and it's the mom. Ew! Just putting on like a prom dress that she got at Dillard's and like full, full beat, full hair. What?
Starting point is 01:01:31 Like showing the camera and then, I don't think she's going to prom with the son, but she's like getting ready to take pictures with him and his date is very strange. I'm so confused. Or there was also that one that was like destined to be your ma, or no, like born to be your wife forced to be your mom or something like that.
Starting point is 01:01:51 And they're taking like the photos of like her son in his football uniform. I've seen the football ones. I didn't hear the quote with it. Yeah, I think that was the quote that they said with it. I might be getting like a who is it? Madison Humphrey who like recreates all of them. She might have added that but like I'm pretty sure it was in the original too. I can't imagine like granted I don't have kids I can't imagine ever being like that. I loved him longer than anyone. Yeah saying that to like so like his romantic
Starting point is 01:02:23 partner is just so out of pocket. It's just so strange to even conflate those two things and like the weird competition between I guess moms and wives, which like I haven't dealt with any of that. So like I feel very fortunate, but I know a lot of people do deal with that. A lot of like moms are like, I was the first woman in his life. And like, oh, it's always a bad sign. But I think it's also indicative too, of like, you, this was the issue in the first story too, of like, usually those in this
Starting point is 01:02:53 situation, boys, it's like really anyone who has shown preferential treatment by a parent, like they're kind of baby their whole life. And then they take that parent side and arguments like with their spouse, like, they're not saying it for their spouse and arguments, or they're not, they're going straight to mom when they have an issue or they're like texting mom about the fights they're having with their wives or like, it's just, there's so much in those situations. I know.
Starting point is 01:03:16 And it's so good you found out now that you don't have a partner. Like him going to you after that, like, I think he said it to his mom that you're rude and you ruined the mood. Okay, you might have brought down the mood a little bit, but was it a lie? Was it a lie? You have to stand up for your partner. Yeah, and like, you know. I know.
Starting point is 01:03:40 And the way this was written, I think this was their anniversary dinner. Yeah. Like, she shows up to your anniversary dinner, like you are engaged, about to be married, you're having a four year anniversary dinner, she shows up in white, which I don't know, wedding season is upon us right now. And the stories that are coming out are bonkers. I just saw a picture. I shared the picture from the wedding
Starting point is 01:04:07 and she wore a white dress and walked down the aisle with her son and she posted the picture. It is a white dress. White, white, white. No. Someone told me early on, before my wedding, they were like, you know, when you get married,
Starting point is 01:04:23 you realize throughout the process, all of the people who wish it was them getting married that day instead. And that also applies to bridesmaids or even groomsmen. There's always people who are like, I wish this was my wedding and kind of commandeer stuff in weird ways or want it to be their vision. They want to be the one in white.
Starting point is 01:04:43 I know. It's definitely a hard boundary to keep, like someone that's planning. And it's hard because like everyone's going to have their opinion. Everyone wants to help, which I really appreciate. And one thing I do kind of like I'm toying with right now is like, do I just put my mom in white? I'm like, do I put her in white? Like she never got to have a wedding.
Starting point is 01:05:03 Oh, interesting. And her partner passed away a couple of years ago now from colon cancer, which hey, all, we forgot to mention colon cancer awareness month, please get screened. I just had a friend get a massive tumor taken out today and it's getting biopsied. So he is literally 29.
Starting point is 01:05:20 So get screened, okay? It's happening younger and younger. It's so scary. It's our food, but we won't get into that today. But I'm like, it's something that was so important and special to her and she never got to have. So I'm like, I honestly might let her wear white. But then I'm like, would Justin's mom feel left out? So then I'm like, do I put both moms in cream ivory, like gold?
Starting point is 01:05:42 Does your mom want to wear white? I don't know. She wore white to my brother's wedding. Oh really? It was yellow, but in the pictures it doesn't. Oh, but it looks white. I think sometimes like my mom on my wedding just wanted to look beautiful.
Starting point is 01:05:54 Like she had her beautiful dress. She wanted her makeup to look beautiful. Yeah. You know, sometimes it's not like, I want to look like the bride. I know. So maybe your mom just wants to like feel good and have like a special seat.
Starting point is 01:06:05 It is. Yeah. She's cute. She's just such a little cutie that I want her to feel special. So I'm like, do you think you're going to, if someone shows up to your wedding wearing white, that's not your mom who you already pre-approved. Are you throwing them out? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:18 Or are they going to be, I don't know. I'm like really toying with that because I'm like, oh, whatever. Not a big deal. Like my grandma, I'm having her be my flower girl. So I'm putting her in like a white set or dress, whatever she wants to wear. But I did, this might be my bridezilla moment guys on our wedding RSVP website. I have a tab that's like vibe outfit inspo and I'm like, it's cocktail attire required, cowboy boots encouraged. And so I'm like, you can do what you want. But I literally on the bottom, I put no white smiley face.
Starting point is 01:06:55 I've read enough Reddit stories to know I need to say this. That's funny. I'm like, I hope they get it. Some of the old people probably won't. I also accidentally bought vintage stamps of two birds having sex. You know, I did see that on your Instagram story and I did think the birds were having sex but I wasn't going to say anything. No.
Starting point is 01:07:16 Because I was like, it's not my place. I live, it doesn't look like that in person. I looked closer and it does not look like that at all. But when you're scrolling through a hundred miles an hour on Instagram reels, you're like, those birds are those birds are fucking. They're like the cranes are they're whooping. The whooping cranes are making whoopie. And I'm like, oh, my God, you guys, people were I've never gotten more messages in my
Starting point is 01:07:38 life. Oh, my gosh. Was it enough for you to be like, I can't use these stamps or you're still going to use them? Who I really did consider redoing a lot of those envelopes, but they're going out. Hopefully people don't think I'm kinky and weird. Camp, it's cute. Whatever. I think people will appreciate it.
Starting point is 01:07:52 It's fine. Top comment on this one. They quote what OP said. His brother literally choked on his wine. Bro had always wanted to say what you said, in my opinion. Which brother, that went over my head. Okay, so that's his brother and the mom literally said You'll always be my favorite boy. Oh, yeah. Oh my god I didn't even register that the brothers right there. So the brothers been waiting for someone to tell her off
Starting point is 01:08:21 For years probably you You did community service. Yeah. This in no way should have ever been a deathbed confession. This needed to be said today. Yeah, absolutely. I'm so curious if OP is going to call it off. Two days old, I'm really... Please give me nothing.
Starting point is 01:08:40 They're not married yet, right? Fiance. It's a lot harder to call off once you're married. I know. People were accusing this of being fake. This is real, not fake, OP says. It just hurts to think that his mom matters more to him than I do. Where do I even stand in all of this?
Starting point is 01:09:01 OP does say, I think you're right. Someone says you should probably call it off. And they go, it's not worth it to stay. Wow. Yikes. But no official update and no other comments. I wonder when they're planning on getting married. I know. Like when the wedding is because you might have to move fast. Oh my gosh, yeah. This is like a couple weeks before your wedding. Yeah. You got to cancel as soon as possible to hopefully get any of those deposits back.
Starting point is 01:09:33 I know. Some of them. Gone. What's the, I know someone who canceled a wedding. I want to say that, oh man, it was, I think the day after the bridal or the bachelorette party. So coming down to the wire. Yeah. And I think they were able to get some of the money back, but you lose a lot of money on weddings. You lose at that point. Just throw a party. Yeah. You're in too deep. Just throw a really good party.
Starting point is 01:10:00 Yeah. You can always just have the people still come. I guess I know a little party. I have seen that. I saw a bride post a TikTok. She was like found out my fiance was cheating on me the day before the wedding or something. She's like me and my family through an amazing party. Wow. That's beautiful. I don't know if I'd be able to keep it together enough to do that.
Starting point is 01:10:18 But maybe you're just like so you're just running on adrenaline. You're crashing out. You're like, I'm just gonna crash out on the dance floor. Yep. That would be me. Because I dance floor. Yep, that would be me. Cause I paid for this DJ. That would be me. Yeah. Oh man.
Starting point is 01:10:29 Wow. This next one makes me wanna crash out too. So this is coming from r slash relationship advice. It is six hours old. It's titled, my 27 Male, Best Friend, 27 Male, Confessed Me, That He Tampered With A Condom, Resulting In A Friend's 25 Female Pregnancy. Why is everyone touching each other's stuff? I don't know what to do.
Starting point is 01:11:00 So there's actually more to this story than just tampering with the condom. But that's the main point. I'm 27 male, married to my wife, 27 female. About four years ago, my wife met this girl, and they became best friends, and she started hanging around us. She was always quite shy, and when she met my wife, she had never had her first kiss or been on a date. One night, I remember a few of the guys joking about who could take her V-card,
Starting point is 01:11:26 and my best friend was betting he could do it. I never told my wife or any of the girls about that. Over time, he seemed like he actually liked her and continued to ask her out, and she rejected him. I assumed he would give up at some point. Like five or six months ago, he shows up to golf, bragging about finally convincing her to go out with him. Within a few weeks, was then bragging he finally convinced her to have
Starting point is 01:11:51 sex with him. And then, I think about three or four weeks later, they told us she was pregnant. Last night we were drinking and he told me he messed with the condom. He said she told him she wasn't on birth control as she had never done anything and wasn't planning condom. He said she told him she wasn't on birth control, as she had never done anything and wasn't planning on it, and when she told him that, he said he, quote, thought it would be his only chance to keep her. He went on about how he'll give her a good life, and said she would be better off because she always thought she didn't want kids. He also told me that night he took her virginity, AKA the night she got pregnant, that she wasn't sure about it.
Starting point is 01:12:31 And it took a lot of convincing. Ew! There's so many points in which you could go to jail for this. No, this is jail. This is jail. Bring the electric chair back. I told you it's still around North Carolina. Send him to North Carolina. Worst part is she's extremely depressed. She also
Starting point is 01:12:52 expressed to my wife she never wanted this. She's scared and not ready. She moved in with him and he's already proposed when she told him she was pregnant. So they're all in on this. when she told him she was pregnant. So they're all in on this. Do I tell her? Or my wife? She also told my wife she was just grateful he was stepping up and taking care of her and she didn't want to do it alone. So at this point, I don't know if I tell anyone or not. At the same time, listening to him talk about it made me feel sick. And if it were my little sister, I probably would have killed him. Nicole Zarnoff Oh my gosh, where to even start? I think you start trying to build a case so this guy can go to jail for this.
Starting point is 01:13:32 Emma Cuttingham Like you need to get him put away. Nicole Zarnoff You have to look up the laws in your state for recording conversations so you know if it's legal. If you like record him saying these things, can that be used in a court of law? I'm pretty sure every state, like, stealthing someone is illegal. No, it's sexual assault. Yeah, that's sexual assault. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:52 No, this is like... So, like, there's so many things here where it's just like, oh, I just want to, like, scream into a pillow. Like, this is so fucked. It's just so beyond, like, you have to say something. You cannot let this be a deathbed confession. No. just so beyond, like you have to say something. You cannot let this be a deathbed confession. No, oh my gosh, can you imagine? Cause you don't know where she's at right now.
Starting point is 01:14:11 You like, regardless, she shouldn't be with someone who did this. That's so scary to have never have had slept with someone before. And now all of a sudden you're pregnant. Like the absolute. And you didn't even know if you wanted kids. Well, that I mean, is a whole other,
Starting point is 01:14:30 that's like so devastating for her. But to just go from this one thing of like, okay, I'm kind of being coaxed into doing this in the first place. And now like, cause like being pregnant is also like an invasive thing too, right? You're getting poked and prodded all the time. So it's just like.
Starting point is 01:14:43 You've got a little alien in you. Yeah, literally. So it's just like- You put a little alien in you. Yeah, literally. So it's just, that's so much for that girl. And she deserves to know the full situation that she is now involved in. Absolutely, because like the thing is, this man is a psychopath. He did this to her and then she's living with him.
Starting point is 01:15:00 And again, I just like don't know what he's willing to do to keep her. Well, I'm like, so this guy was friends with him. And again, I just like don't know what he's willing to do to keep her. Well, I'm like, so this guy was friends with him. I refuse to believe this is the first time he's ever done something so drastic in his life. Like, why are you friends with this person? He's crazy. I don't I'm it's beyond me. I don't understand. That's really upsetting. I think you just have to start building a case so she can take this guy to court. Absolutely. And I think here's the thing for anyone out there listening, if you have a
Starting point is 01:15:32 friend in your life that clearly doesn't respect other people's boundaries because they met this girl four years ago, the guy made a bet that he could do it, take her V card, whatever. He continued to ask her out and she rejected him. You assumed OP that he would give up at some point. He didn't. So this has been him harassing her for three and a half years to go out with him. Yeah, right.
Starting point is 01:15:59 That is crazy behavior. I feel like I know so many, not so many people, but I do know a few people who have like one incredibly problematic person in their friend group. And you're like, why are you friends with this person? And they're like, they're just like that. Like they've been like that since college. And it's so baffling to me how that is just like,
Starting point is 01:16:20 that just happens. But for some reason people, yeah, just don't feel the need to speak up. Like, hey, maybe you don't harass this person into going out with you. I think a lot of people excuse it and like justify it based on how long they've known them. Like Lauren and I were just talking about this last night and she was so sad she forgot to mention it on the episode.
Starting point is 01:16:37 But there's like a mutual in her boyfriend's group that like he is not friends with. And he said something to Brian about Lauren where it's like, well, Brian's just manipulated because he's with a free thinker. And you can't be with that. You need to find a woman who's not a free thinker. What? Yeah, Lauren's like losing her mind over it.
Starting point is 01:16:58 Cause that's so anti her. And it's just like, it's like, what? Why are you friends with this person? I mean, not that he's really friends with him, but like, that's what I'm talking about. Like that person just being around in the friend group and saying things like, no, like you want a woman that can't think for herself.
Starting point is 01:17:14 Like get that person out of the friend group. That's scary. Yeah, that's really scary. That's scary. Like you think you want someone who's beneath you. You don't want someone who has a mind of their own and can what? I mean, some people think like that. The implications of that.
Starting point is 01:17:27 I don't like it. Yeah. Yeah. It's just like this person too. It's like he knows that she is a fully autonomous individual. Yeah. And he wants to take that from her because he knows given the opportunity, she wouldn't go for it.
Starting point is 01:17:41 So he like ripped that away from her and deserves to be in prison. In North Carolina. Yeah, in North Carolina. Yeah, that's what we'll call it. And when I say electric chair, I don't like, I'm not saying we're gonna need to take him out, but like just a painful shocking once a week to make him think about what he's done. Yeah, a couple zaps. Yeah, we can hook him up to a horse fence. Honestly, yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:04 That hurts, but it teaches you a lesson. Yeah, the horses don't go back to the spot. But yeah, that's just, it's so upsetting. I mean, obviously like real action needs to be taken. This isn't something that you like settle in your friend group. No, you need to come clean. Who do you tell first? I think maybe you maybe you tell your girlfriend who's her friend.
Starting point is 01:18:27 Yeah. Or your wife who's her friend. Yeah. I think that would be probably the best. And it's like, I know some people might be like yelling, they're like, no, don't burden her with that. Go directly to the girl. But like, honestly, I think your wife would also be hurt
Starting point is 01:18:41 if you didn't tell her. Yeah, oh, totally. And their friends, they have that like repertoire already. Like, I feel like she would also be hurt if you didn't tell her. Yeah, oh, totally. And they're friends. They have that like, repertoire already. Like, I feel like she would maybe be better equipped to like, speak the language of the friend and like deliver the news. Oh wait, but I also understand people being like, don't make this your wife's problem.
Starting point is 01:18:56 Like, I see both sides, of course. But also I think like, it's gonna be better from someone like, she trusts and loves, because like, you're friends with her but you're also like her bestie's husband. Like it would feel for me better coming from my friend. Would you want both of them to sit down together and tell you? Maybe. Because I think that adds to the credibility. Yeah. If he was like, I heard this and she's like, I wanted to be there for you while he told you this. Yeah. I would maybe prefer that.
Starting point is 01:19:24 Yeah. I'm thinking. Yeah. And she's really going to need support because she already moved in there. So it's like, now you got to help this girl get out. She's got to get out. Okay. Wow. Top comment on this one. You should have felt sick about his antics a long time ago. He's appalling. Tell your girlfriend and support your female friend together after telling the friend what he did. Next one down. It's heartbreaking to think that nobody stopped OP's friend and told him he was being a massive creep. This would be creepy in any situation, but OP said this woman is not in a stable situation.
Starting point is 01:19:58 The guy manipulated and purposefully impregnated her and her life is already unstable. This is why am I friends with him? Behavior. Yeah, all bold, all caps. Jesus Christ, you have to tell her immediately. Yeah. This was only posted six hours ago at the time I opened the tab. We do have a couple comments. No official update though. At least for now, she's living at his house. He's financially stable and I know for a fact she isn't. She has him taking care of her now and is already depressed.
Starting point is 01:20:35 Once I tell it becomes 10 times worse. But that doesn't matter. No, it is 10 times worse. It's just she doesn't have the information. It already is that bad. It's just that one person doesn't have the information. Like it already is that bad. It's just that one person doesn't know how bad it is and that is not fair. I hate that argument of like,
Starting point is 01:20:52 oh, but when I tell them that's when it becomes bad, wasn't that just something that happened with one of the Love is Blind contestants? Where they were like touching someone who was asleep but they were also in a, this is like, you're gonna have to fact check this. But basically they were saying like, well, if someone's asleep, they don't know
Starting point is 01:21:08 and it's not mentally upsetting to them. And it's like, well, should they know that that happened to them? And that was like a big thing with like, I think even the Duggar family, when the sisters were being abused, they were like, well, some of them are asleep. Like, do we tell them what happened?
Starting point is 01:21:24 Yes. Yes. People have to know. of them are asleep. Like, do we tell them what happened? Yes. Yes. People have to know. Oh my God. This was a thing too. In the podcast we saw live, when we went and saw Crime Junkie Live, there was like someone who was taking pictures of people in a bathroom.
Starting point is 01:21:41 And the police destroyed all of those because they were like, we're going to do justice to the victims and not expose this or tell them. But it's that argument of should people know, or are they better off? Ignorance is bliss. It's tough. And it's even tougher if someone's a minor when it happened, which in that case, a lot of them were young girls too. It's like. I was insane. Yeah, it was like horrifying, just absolutely horrifying. So bad. I think it's best for people to know so they can like live their lives accordingly
Starting point is 01:22:13 and like have relationships with people accordingly rather than like not knowing someone abused them. Yeah, and I think like, if you have situations that happen, you can then like trust your gut, you won't doubt yourself. Yeah, right. Your radar will be more tuned.
Starting point is 01:22:27 Like you can then proceed forward knowing all the cards on the table. Right. OP continues to just like keep digging a hole and trying to justify like not telling in the comments. It's actually kind of worrying me that like OP is not going to say anything. God, there's one here. I'm worried if I do speak up that it will truly make it worse for her. At least now she's safe and is living with him and has him to take care of her. I know for a fact she's not financially stable, but he is. She told
Starting point is 01:22:55 my wife her worst fear was him leaving her to do it alone. Next comment. I honestly believe she is safe though. He has been obsessed with her since they met and despite what he did, he will take care of her and protect her. There's a baby coming at this point. Whether I tell the truth or not, the only difference is if I don't, her and her baby have a man with a good job and house taking care of them. If I do, she's a 25 year old waitress and single mother. I don't think he'd hit her and honestly, it seems like he spoils her trying to make her feel better. Still doesn't make it right, but might be the better of two scenarios. Now I'm out on everyone in this story. The way they talk about her is infuriating.
Starting point is 01:23:36 Like she's this, oh, no, like as long as she's not getting hit, that's the best possible situation she could be in because her, the worst case scenario is her being a waitress. Get real. A single mother? Get real. Fuck you, dude. No, like, no.
Starting point is 01:23:53 What a... Yeah, the way they view the women involved in this story is just horrendous. I'm like blown away. That's really upsetting that he's the only one that knows this information because he is so ill equipped to handle it appropriately. Someone needs to find out so they can tell her. Absolutely. It doesn't get better.
Starting point is 01:24:12 He goes in this next comment, I don't see how what I said is vile in regards to that last one we read. Someone said you're vile. I get it. He's a terrible person. What he did sucks, but it's done regardless of what I do next It's not that easy of a decision. I highly doubt half of these people wouldn't agree if they were put in it. He sucks No, he is a perverted criminal. Let's call a spade a spade.
Starting point is 01:24:36 Yeah, oh my gosh. Listen, I know this situation sucks. Like it's so, he's so un-serious. It sucks. It sucks. It's like a huge bummer that like a very serious crime took place Psycho your psychopath too Yeah, that's really bad. That's I feel horrible for her. There's a comment here. Well for the record I've decided to tell my wife tonight. I'm still not sure it's the right decision, but I'm doing it. Thank God Thank God. Thank God. I mean, the wife could also be horrible. We really don't know.
Starting point is 01:25:07 So. Oh, he does say I didn't know he was planning to get her pregnant on purpose. Like I would have stopped it if I did know. I refreshed and this is now nine hours old. So I hope to God we get an update on this one. I want to. Yeah. This one I really want an update on. Need it.
Starting point is 01:25:27 I'm gonna worry about this girl tonight. I'm literally, I'm like, drop a pin girl. Like, we'll come help you move out. Seriously. Holy smokes. Well. Okay. Last one for us because we cannot end on that note.
Starting point is 01:25:43 Whoo. Okay, I'm giving you a choice on this last one. Okay. Okay, so option one, sister-in-law freaks out on me because her fiance tried to book me for his bachelor party. Okay, interesting. Or option two, found out spouse was hiding huge debt. 39 female and 37 male. And option three, how do I, 19 male,
Starting point is 01:26:09 tell my girlfriend, 18 female, that my family are nudists? Let's do that one because I want to hear some teenagers try to figure out how to solve that. Some chaos. Okay, this is coming from a relationship advice two days old, again titled, How do I, 19 male, tell my girlfriend, 18 female, that my family are nudists? I'll answer any questions or chats about the more obvious thing about this post. But anyways, my family's fairly casual about nudity around the house,
Starting point is 01:26:39 and it's not uncommon for some or all of us to decide to not bother with clothes if the weather permits, especially for our pool and such. We also go to a clothes optional resort slash camp pretty regularly in the summer. The only one in my social circle who knows about this stuff is my best friend and his parents and he's fine with it. He maybe just jokes about it.
Starting point is 01:27:03 I've been dating my girlfriend for a little over a year now and have been considering telling her about this side of my family, mainly because it feels like I'm hiding it from her and to a lesser degree it's kind of annoying to me and my family to have to warn them when she's coming over so that people are dressed. What would be the best way to tell her? Or is that even advisable? I'm just kind of stressing over it because I don't want her to take it wrong or think it's weird slash gross. And I feel like the longer I wait,
Starting point is 01:27:34 the worse she'll take it. And it's already been a while. That's a major reason we don't really broadcast us doing it since most people would probably react very negatively about it. What do I do? You have to tell her very soon. No.
Starting point is 01:27:53 But like, yeah, also the rationale, cause people use this with like everything, like so many different things, they're like, but if I tell them, they'll be mad. It's like, but that's why you have to tell them. Like, you can't just not tell someone something because they might be mad at you or might be weirded out. Also, don't you want to find a lovely partner
Starting point is 01:28:13 who's going to accept that lifestyle too and then you don't have to worry about it. So, I mean, maybe she's cool with it. I'm sure she's not cool with it, but like, maybe. I would have ran the other direction. As much as as I love Justin if he came to me and said, Hey, my family are actually nudists. I don't, that wouldn't rock my book. I would turn into a pilgrim.
Starting point is 01:28:36 I would be like, which. Catch me in that bonnet. I'll bring up, I'm going straight to the collar anytime around them. Like, yeah, which, bring back Salem. True, I just can't even imagine. I mean, everyone is so different. Some people just like truly live by different. Have you ever gone to someone's house
Starting point is 01:28:55 and been like shocked at the way they lived? Or like, I remember even being little going to someone's house for like a sleepover and just seeing like how differently their family react. It was nothing ever crazy. But seeing how different people live their lives was always just so interesting to me. And you realize there's not one way to do everything. I mean, obviously being a nudist is in such a far direction, but it is just so interesting
Starting point is 01:29:20 that everyone is so different and just can do whatever they want. I know. It is so wild. I definitely had friends like that in high school where my mom was always like I really don't want you staying over at their house because like their family just operated so different like their 13 year old daughter could go stay at boys houses and like it was it was just a different operation. I remember there was this one it was my sibling's friend who like we would go over sometimes and there would just be
Starting point is 01:29:47 dog poop everywhere. And when you're really little, like, and we didn't have pets growing up, but I knew that like dogs just shouldn't be pooping everywhere. But I didn't think it was as big of a deal as like my parents. Was it in their house? Like just in the house? It was most, so like the ground outside was all white because it would be so old that it had turned white.
Starting point is 01:30:04 So their whole front yard was like white with this dog poop and like the backyard was a mess. I remember their house, the inside smelling really bad, but I don't remember seeing any dog poop in there. But my parents were immediately like, something's wrong. Like there's maybe like a mental health issue with one of the parents and we just don't feel comfortable sending you over to their house anymore. You have to be very careful with your kids. I know that that's like a been a big
Starting point is 01:30:28 movement now. It's like people don't even do sleepovers. Like they don't let their kids do sleepovers anymore. And like I'm so on board for that. Like I get it. You cannot be too careful. It's so interesting. I was just listening to a podcast where they're talking about how like parents today on average parent their children for five hours a day. And in the seventies, it was two hours a day. Wow. Because kids are at home a lot more. They're not running around the neighborhood, like going all over the town. They're not sleepovers. Like you actually are spending a lot more time with your parents. And that's not necessarily good either maybe for like child development,
Starting point is 01:31:03 but it's a lot better than like a horrible thing happening to them at someone else's house. So like it's interesting watching my friends now that have kids like start to reckon with that of like, yeah, do I trust some random kid's parents to like watch over my kid for a weekend? I don't know. I don't know. With this one, one, I'm really curious if we have any nudists in our community. Please tell me how it is, what got you into it. How you broke the news to a partner. That.
Starting point is 01:31:33 Also, I will say, it sounds like the family is respectful. Very respectful. Wear clothes, like they get a heads up and they're like, of course we would never force our lifestyle on someone else. Yeah, I do find it weird to take family vacations when you have children to nude camps. I just don't trust other people. Yeah, I get your home, your pool, your family.
Starting point is 01:31:54 Okay, please comment. I'm trying not to be super judgmental, but it's hard. The longer I think about it, the more weirded out I am getting. But I think I started out being like, I have an open mind. And the more I think about it, I'm like, maybe I'm not that open-minded. I don't know if my mind is open today. Yeah. Have to tell her though.
Starting point is 01:32:16 We're both on that. Well, you have to say something. She has to know. Yeah. Top comment. Be prepared for your family to still need to wear clothes, even if you tell her. It's okay if she isn't comfortable seeing your dad's dick when she comes over for spaghetti. Why?
Starting point is 01:32:32 No. Next comment down. True. Consent goes both ways. She might be fine with a lifestyle, but still wants boundaries and a dick-free dinner. Definitely. So true. OP responds, fair. Most people wouldn't want extra sausage around. Yeah. Absolutely.
Starting point is 01:32:54 You picked this one. I did pick this one. I was curious how it was going to shake out. And you know what? I don't regret it. No, it is. It's quite entertaining. Also, he's 18.
Starting point is 01:33:03 19. He's 19 and she's 18. Yeah. Not that that really changes much, but like, yeah, so interesting. Because do you remember being 18? Like I was still so, like the world was so unknown to me when I was 18. I remember going to college and like my shit got rocked. Because I was just like, yeah, I just, I'm from a small town.
Starting point is 01:33:23 I hadn't really experienced much. What rocked. Cause I was just like, yeah, I just, I'm from a small town. I hadn't really experienced much. What like, what rocked you? Just like the debauchery, I think of like, oh, people do have free will. I think I put like boundaries on myself and like, I was really hard on myself and had to get good grades and had to be home at a certain time.
Starting point is 01:33:40 And I never lied to my parents. And then you get to college and they're like, oh my gosh, people can just do whatever they want. Or some people have like so much more experience with alcohol. Like I think if I went over to someone's house and like one of their parents was just naked and being like acting like nothing was wrong, I would have like had an aneurysm. I think I would too. And even at 18, like I was, I was a little bit of a rebel. I was like driving, doing like eight hour road trips by myself to go visit my boyfriend in college at 16. Wow. You were the girl I was scared of. Yeah. Yeah. I was a little out there.
Starting point is 01:34:17 Like we, my friend group, we were bit trouble, trouble, troublesome, troublemakers. So like at 13, 14, we'd go down to like this haunted ship that Duluth has and steal our parents peppermint schnapps and get hammered and go on the haunted ship. Wow. So don't recommend that if you have kids. Keep close eyes on your liquor cabinets. So you're really like, oh, I know what kids can get up to.
Starting point is 01:34:43 I have no sleepovers. Hell no. My mom, there was one time I said, oh yeah, I'm at my friend Heather's house. Next thing I know, my mom's rolling up, coming down the basement steps. Morgan, get your ass out here. She was good. She knew. You could not pull one over her.
Starting point is 01:35:01 No. So knowing what I did, I'm like, with add in modern technology? But do you think if you went to like your partner's house and their parent was naked on the couch acting like nothing was wrong, you probably also would have freaked out. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, even still. Like I would have been like, hell no. Like I'm out there, but like not this out there.
Starting point is 01:35:24 Especially 18. She's only 18. I know she's only 18. 18 is young. You do need, you need a heads up. Like he has to say something. Cause if there's an accident and you don't warn your family and she just pops in, you know, you get more comfortable and she pops in. She swings by cause she's in the neighborhood and she's like, I brought you spaghetti.
Starting point is 01:35:41 But like, and then she sees something she doesn't want to see. Yeah. Or you're sick in bed and it's like, yeah, come over. Your dad accidentally comes home, you don't know, because you're sick in bed and she walks through. Yeah, that can be like traumatizing. Prevent the awkwardness, you know, just you got to tell her. OP does say like, I'm going to tell her if she's not okay with it. I guess we continue as we are and she's just aware of it.
Starting point is 01:36:04 I guess the larger thing is feeling awkward about not telling her and if she learned some other way or something that she'd take it even worse. Getting surprised. Yeah, that's absolutely the worst way to learn about it. I'm just like, this is now a new huge fear of mine. I never want to walk in on my in-laws naked. I never want to walk in on anyone naked. Like accidentally, it's just like, it's so shocking when it happens. And it's just like, yeah, it's just such a bad situation. That's like one of my like newer pet peeves. And it's like not newer, but like, I've noticed it a lot more lately.
Starting point is 01:36:37 Dressing room curtains that don't close on the ends. I know. Yeah. We've gotten way too lax with the dressing room curtains. Why are we not having doors, standards, doors with no gaps, bathrooms? I shouldn't be able to see someone peeking at me through a stall as I'm washing my hands. I was at the AMC the other day and like the whole way down you just see everyone in the stalls.
Starting point is 01:36:56 Like the gaps are so wide now. What is up with that? Leave a little mystery in life. I have no idea what is going on. But yeah, I feel like I have noticed that where there's just like a little bit less privacy. So strange. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:37:08 So strange. A lot of comments from OP. No formal update yet. Yeah, no update. Are people in the comments being like judgmental of his family? Honestly, the comments feel very positive to me. A lot of just sexual jokes. Someone goes, just tell her, most nudists wear clothes when visitors arrived.
Starting point is 01:37:32 Signed long-term nudist. OP response, fair. That's literally how we operate. 99% of the company we have, that 1% is either nudists themselves or don't care. But yeah, no formal update, a lot of comments. So I will be sure to post the link for this one if you want to really dive into the nudist responses. Yeah, maybe learn something new.
Starting point is 01:37:57 Yeah. I want to hear from you guys though, like if you are nudist or if you've experienced a partner that's a nudist. Maybe it's way more common than we think. Yeah. I guess I've never heard of anyone I know being one or them knowing someone who is, but maybe, yeah, maybe it is more common. I'm curious.
Starting point is 01:38:15 I just Googled. How many US nudist communities are there? Oh, interesting. About 200 to 260 affiliated with the American Association for Nude Recreation Association has over 30,000 members. Okay. Very small. Very small. Feels niche. There's like 360 million people in America. So 30,000 is like nothing. But I bet people don't self-report. Yeah. Yeah. No, people probably don't admit to that. Which if you're nudist, be proud. You know, you're doing it.
Starting point is 01:38:48 Be proud. You're doing it. You're doing it. You're really doing it. Thank you so, so much for coming on. Thank you for having me on. These were all wild, wild stories. This was insane.
Starting point is 01:38:59 Yeah. You have some insane episodes, the ones I've listened to, the plane one with the girl that fell from the plane. Oh yeah, Juliana Copka. I think about it every time I fly now. And especially with these planes going dark in Newark. Kaylyn, how are we going to fly? I have no idea.
Starting point is 01:39:14 I'm like not okay. Wait, what are the ones going dark in Newark? They're going dark. Like air traffic control is like losing planes. I did not hear that. Oh, I hate that. Yeah. Oh, I really hate that. Yeah. But that episode of yours is amazing. Where can people find you? How can they listen? People can
Starting point is 01:39:31 listen to Heart Starts Pounding wherever they get their podcasts. We're on YouTube. We are on Spotify, Apple, everywhere you get your podcasts. And then I'm on all socials at Heart Starts Pounding. Amazing. It'll be easy to find. All the links will be in the description, as well as the links for our new show Clues. Come over and listen. Yes, please come listen. We've got some really, really good cases.
Starting point is 01:39:56 I'm really like, I'm really proud of the work we've been doing. Yeah, we put a lot of work into these episodes. I know, and so does the team at Pave. It's just like, it's a whole machine that we have going, but I love the feedback we've gotten so far. So thank you all. All of you that have came over.
Starting point is 01:40:12 Everyone who's listened. Yeah. Thank you so much, truly. Absolutely. But come check it out. And on that note, got nothing else. Head over to Patreon. But until next time, bye.
Starting point is 01:40:21 Bye. But until next time, bye!

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