Two Hot Takes - 24: Dating & Relationships w/ Michaela Okland

Episode Date: July 15, 2021

TW: suicide Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by Michaela Okland, the gal behind She Rates Dogs and She Rates Dogs: The Podcast!! This episode dives in to stories relating to relationships and dating.. some more light hearted and buggy than others. Stories include some listener write ins about a woman whose boyfriend is comparing her to his ex and a woman whose boyfriends brother may have a crush on her... On to the Reddit Stories.. which include a woman whose boyfriend showed his mom their sex painting, another woman whose bae is eating ants, a woman whose husband is getting in character by being a beetle and hiding under their couch, a woman whose fiancé got mad she wouldn't share her food, and a guy who threw away his girlfriend’s dead best friends shirt... Michaela also blesses us with some quality She Rates Dogs material. Be sure to check out her podcast for more!! Bonus Content!! And as always your support is very appreciated: https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes

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I'm so excited! Oh my God, we're really doing it. We're doing the damn thing. This is long overdue. I know! It's been months in the making. Months in the making. We've had messages come in. Really? I got it the day we recorded, but then I also got more tweets about it, like DMs.

I got a lot of, like, oh my God, so excited about this duo when I posted that I had you on the podcast. People were so excited. That's so cute. Yeah, I got a bunch of messages after that too, and I was like, I love her, so the feelings mutual. And then, literally, you posted last night for the one million, and my friend was like, oh my God, how do you know her?

I'm like, she's my new friend. I know. Well, you messaged me on TikTok, and I, like, it was right when I had kind of stopped using TikTok, so it took me a while to, like, see it. And then I was like, oh my God, this girl's so funny. And then I followed you on Instagram for a while before you noticed, I think. Um, maybe.

But then you commented on something to mine, and I was like, oh my God, let me just go, like, fucking fangirl over here. Yeah, because I think I'd been following you for a while, and you, like, hadn't noticed or, like, followed me back or something, but then I commented on something, and then you're like, oh hi, and I was like, let's do it. Yeah, it's making new friends at 27 and 24.

I love, I've been making such good friends this year. You're, like, a pro at making new friends. I've been doing well lately. Well, you guys have probably recognized her voice by now, but I have a very special guest. Are we recording? Oh yeah. We're going for it.

Is this for the, okay. It's coming full circle from earlier episodes. Um, but I have a very special guest today, you guys. You may have recognized her voice, but I'm being joined by Mikayla Oakland. Yes, that's how it's pronounced. It's spelled weird. Yes.

It's Mikayla Oakland. Um, she writes dogs. Yes. If you've heard of it, not real dogs, it's men. You guys, if you haven't checked out the Twitter account and the Instagram account for She Rates Dogs, please do. Um, and for our male listeners, you know, listen up, take, take notes on what not to do from this account.

But yeah. And then we have She Rates Dogs, a podcast which Morgan came on a couple of weeks ago. A couple of weeks ago. Something recently. It was such a good episode, you guys. So make sure you check that out as well. We went into your, um, occupational therapy info

and all of your binders. So very fun to see that side of you. I think it's really interesting to hear you talk about that stuff. I know. I like bury it down. And then I have like, again, there's listeners like, come on. They're like, I'm an OT2.

And I'm like, wow. That's so cute. Let's, let's jump in today. We're going to be talking about dating and just relationship stories. Okay. I love that. Hi guys.

Before we jump into the new episode with Mikaela, I just wanted to give you my two week update after using the function of beauty shampoo and conditioner. I love it. I don't know if it was because my quiz was spot on because I went fragrance free, die free. I don't know what it was, but my hair is loving it. I'm loving it.

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That's the number 2ht. And let them know we sent you to get 20% off your first order. Enjoy guys. I think you're a content expert on these things. I curate some of that stuff. You're going to thrive with these stories then. Absolutely thrive. So the first one is a listener right in.

She goes, me, 22 female and my boyfriend Jacob, 25 male have been dating for three years. He's always been the fun bubbly type person in the friend group, always smiling, always laughing, always up for a chit chat. Six months ago, January, 2021, due to COVID, we haven't been able to travel anywhere and we used to go on little weekends away.

We live in Australia and the country is back open for travel. So I was like, let's organize a little weekend away. He was all down for it. We went to the Hunter Valley, a winery region. I don't know what happened on that trip, but he has been depressed ever since. Doesn't laugh, doesn't smile, doesn't ever want to talk. It's like something clicked in his head and he just changed.

There was no leading up to this. He then starts mentioning his ex. Oh, okay. Now it's starting to make sense. We never really bring up our ex partners. All I know is me and her are complete opposites. Taylor, she's blonde, five, three, Australian L woods. Me, Brunette, six feet, farm girl, six feet.

Go off, queen. Yeah, seriously. A little model. One night during sex, he called me Taylor. Wait, the ex's name? Yeah. Maybe a couple of weeks after that I was cooking dinner and he said, oh, Taylor would cut the bread this way.

I kind of just ignored it because at this moment he's in a really depressed state. He had made a few more comments. I would take that knife. Fuck up the bread. Don't say that to your girlfriend when she's holding a knife. Sorry. Oh, like what dude?

It's bread. Why does it matter? He has made a few more comments saying Taylor did this or like this over the next couple of two months. Three months ago in April 21, his dad passed away in a car accident which sent him into just a spiral. It was the deepest part of his depression. I've never had a problem with this family.

They're welcoming. Always there if I need anything, very, very supportive. I'm there trying to support his mom because she just lost her husband by cooking meals, cleaning around the house. She said, you've missed a spot on the floor over here. When Taylor would mop the floor, she wouldn't miss a spot. What the fuck?

This made my blood boil. Another day I had it over there. I was just wearing like sweats and a jumper like I'm going to go cook food and don't need to be looking like a million dollars. He said if Taylor was the rock at my house, she would look presentable. So I walked out.

Why is she still putting up with this queen? Am I the asshole for walking out? No. Will I be an asshole if I leave my depressed partner? No. Is she an asshole to compare me to one of his ex-partners? Yes. What the actual fuck?

This is disturbing. This is very disturbing and this started before like he was dealing with all of the family issues. So it's not like this is just something extreme happening in his life and now he's reminiscing. The initial thing like started in January and he didn't lose his dad until April. Why is he so obsessed with his ex?

At first I was thinking maybe she got like engaged or something so he was a little sad and like whatever you know if someone from your past has like a huge life moment maybe just kind of makes you re-evaluate where you are and think about the life you could have had and whatever. But this seems like he just It's out of nowhere.

Randomly wanted her back? Well I'm like it seems that way. I think the shoe really fits with like maybe something popped up like she got engaged or maybe she reached back out because otherwise if this person you know they've been dating for... Oh gosh what did she say here? They've been dating for three years.

What the actual... I do not think about my exes when I'm dating someone. Like I'm sorry I can understand accidentally saying the wrong name maybe one time if that was the only thing. If that was all that he had done it'd be like okay whatever. But if his mom is saying these things

like you know these people only get their information from like their child who's involved. So any opinion that she has is based on the way that he's talking to her. He's probably made some comments. Oh my gosh please dump him. And also like people's mental health is important but you don't have to shoulder another person's mental health

and be like oh now I have to compromise myself to fix this person because you would compromise yourself you'd fix them and then they'd be good for someone else. So you don't need that. Just literally drop the mic. Yes that's so so so important. I don't like I think the name during sex is like oh I would lose my mind I would lose my shit

I would kill them with a knife. But like if I'm talking to someone else I can pretend that I did that's maybe okay. Yeah and happens. I'm gonna throw myself onto the bus so fucking hard right now. So when I started dating my current boyfriend we were like very new very early on

I think it was like honestly maybe the first time we had sex and I called him the wrong name. I called him one of my guy friend's names. Are you still friends with that guy friend? Yeah like he's like a brother to me like truly like a brother like nothing's ever happened but we all had like gone to a concert earlier in the night

like he was actually staying here in the room next door and me and Justin were hooking up and I accidentally said his name and he's like he just like ignored it like he told me this next morning I was like what? Oh my god. And he's like yeah so I just have to ask like is anything going on like there?

Absolutely not like I'm sorry I was just drunk I must have been worried about him being in the other room and hearing something. Well also if you have like a reflexive pattern like I when I would fight with my ex there were times I almost called him Matt who is my gay best friend. Yeah and like obviously there's no kind of

sexual romantic thing between Matt and I but like I fight with Matt so sometimes when I'm just like caught up in that moment I'll be like oh I'm used to saying this name when I'm like arguing. Yeah so sometimes that happens but I've not had that happen during sex I think that's because I don't say names that often during sex.

I don't either. Oh. It's kind of weird so I don't even know what I was doing that night it was I don't blame you. Too much wine but yeah so I get it if it's early on or like new but like three years in. Three years.

He's probably been jacking off to her like sorry I hate to say it I hate to say it but if he's like going there during a sexual experience three years later there's something going on there. We don't like this man and props to you for like taking care of his family and putting so much effort into like

being a rock for other people but they're like shipping away at you as a rock. Well and that's the other thing too like the comment like oh my ex-girlfriend would look more presentable like this girl is going above and beyond cooking, cleaning. Like yes you guys went through a very traumatic thing

that is horrendous but she's you know going above and beyond to make sure that your family's taken care of and you're gonna comment about something so petty as appearance. Yeah it's one thing if someone were to say hey like something came up in my mind about my ex I don't have any idea why I'm just like a little bit

confused over it as opposed to being like I'm gonna knock you down and like make you feel bad about yourself by saying my ex cuts bread better. Most are relevant fucking thing too. Bread. I could not imagine I would literally kill a man and this woman sounds like a saint.

Yes, OP if you're listening not the asshole. Dump him please. If you walk out. Yeah you definitely deserve better and I'm very sorry for his loss but Yeah sorry to that man. Oh I thought you meant his loss of her

but both yeah sorry to his losses. Yeah both. Poor guy and like you deserve better. Yeah text Taylor maybe she'll come cook I don't know. Yeah hit Taylor up. Send her over. Up next another listener right in I think my boyfriend's brother has a crush on me.

I 18 female have been living with my 19 male boyfriend and his family for six months now. I have a suspicion that his 20 male brother has a crush on me. Wait how old is she again? 18. Okay. My boyfriend works long hours and is in the

US National Guard as well so there are times that I am home when my boyfriend is not. I've found that during these times his brother seems to talk to me more often and hang around me more. My boyfriend is away right now with the military work in seven days and some

nights he sleeps over there. Well the nights he has slept over his brother comes into my room and tries talking to me for hours on end. I don't want to be rude and tell him to leave me alone. I try to act annoyed or tired so he will leave but it never seems to work.

As I'm writing this now I am with my boyfriend's family with the exception of my boyfriend in a car. The brother and I are in the back seat and he reached over and tickled my thigh. What? He's done stuff like this before teasing me and it makes me super uncomfortable.

I don't know how to say something to him or my boyfriend. The brother has literally told me he wants a girlfriend who is like me. Am I being crazy or am I catching the wrong vibe? This is such a common experience not in the sense of someone's brother

but in the sense of my boss is flirting with me but it's a tricky relationship because I don't want to upset someone in this position. I don't want to upset my boyfriend's brother because I want the family to like me. She lives with them. I don't want to be presumptuous

and be so mean in turning him down that it's like I wasn't even going there but at the same time it's like you're getting these clear vibes where you're like how do I make it clear without like you know what I mean? With someone tickling you on the thigh? I would punch, reflex, I would like hit

somebody in the face. The hand would get smacked away so fast. That's my least favorite part of the Bachelorette. I'm like she has to have so many men put their hand on her thigh, that poor woman. Yeah, I'm not a very touchy-feely person. Yeah.

Like I am not about it. So like someone touching my thigh is like the exact opposite of what I want. Like especially like this is his brother. Like it's so creepy and weird. Yeah, has she talked to the boyfriend about it yet? I feel like that is step one.

Step one, yes. Like and I get like questioning like oh am I overthinking this? Maybe he's just being friendly. Right. But you don't even have to approach it like that. You can just be like your brother is honestly just interacting with me too much.

Like he's trying to talk to me for hours at night. I'm uncomfortable with that. I'm uncomfortable when he's touching me. Like she doesn't even have to say that she thinks it's from a place of him trying to get with her. She can just be like this amount of intimacy is too much for me and I don't like it.

Set a solid boundary for sure. I think it's totally fair. Especially like touching you and coming in your room unwanted. I wouldn't want anybody to come talk to me for hours. Unless I truly care for them and it's like a friend or something.

But why? No, this is a big, big no for me. I would address it like yesterday. She should also get a taser if he tickles her leg again. 100%. Well and you just like get scared too. Like say he did something when the

brother wasn't there. Because the brother's gone a lot. And then he's like oh she wanted it. Like he clearly has a lot of audacity. Yeah. So in the backseat of a car with their parents up front. Yeah, which is why I feel like talking to

the boyfriend and establishing that this is kind of like a vibe she's getting now is important in case that were to be a future situation. Something does happen. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah.

But that happens all the time like with bosses or with like work people or school people. It's like I don't want to jeopardize this like relationship by being so rude in the way I say no. Yeah. But men will like abuse that and like

continue to find their little opening. It's like she has an outright like said I never want to have anything to do with you sexually ever in my life. So like I can keep drawing these little things. Yeah. I think as women like there's a lot more

pressure when we do say no to like say it politely. Yeah. And like even this weekend we went out and Lauren one of my friends was talking to like this owner of this restaurant we went to. And he got her number and like she texted

him and was just like thank you. You know we had a great time last night and he was like oh thanks I'm glad you came would you like to get dinner with me. And she was like I'm sorry like I have a boyfriend. Right. And he's like fuck you it's always that I

have a boyfriend you could have just told me you weren't interested blah blah blah blah like popped off on her and it's like but she does have a boyfriend. Yeah. Like that's honestly a pickup artist thing to do is that they put things in a way where you can't say no.

So like I was at Nordstrom Rack the other day and this guy approached me with his phone out and was like are you seeing anybody. And I was like no thank you. Just quick. And he was like okay sorry and walked away. I was like I'm not going to like do this

song and dance where it's like no I don't have a boyfriend but that doesn't imply I'm interested in you. Yeah. I don't know. No thank you. You got a good response there. I was literally a man approached me at

a club one time and asked what my name was and I said no thank you. Oh my gosh. I love that. The confidence. Thank you. I'm just like a shy like introverted little person like when people come

approach me I'm just like I just like don't know what to say and then I like end up giving them my number. Yeah. And then I don't text them back. Yeah. I just like can't handle a confrontation so I need to try this.

I've done like the fake number before but the worst is when they'll like then be like I'm going to call you right now. It's like that will just embarrass both of us. Why do that? I've done that and then I like I would like give one number away or like I

did that a month ago. But it was our waiter so I was like I was like be nice to your service workers but I guess don't be too nice because they'll ask for your number and then you'll have to lie. Oh no poor little friend. Yeah you're not crazy though.

Talk to your boyfriend. Yeah. I'd say that's step one for sure. ASAP Rocky. Up next this one. Oh you look excited. This one gave me wild ideas. Okay.

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Call Any Hour Services or schedule online at AnyHourServices.com. No one helps more homeowners than Any Hour Services. My 23 female boyfriend, 23 male showed his mom our sex painting and I'm embarrassed. Sex painting?

Learn something new today. Okay. With this one. His mother, 63 female, was talking about getting something framed and he said, Oh, I got something framed once. It's not cheap. His mom asked what it was and he sent

the painting to his mom. Here's where it gets weird. His mom showed the painting to a random woman in her office. The woman was like, Hmm, that looks like a sex painting. So my boyfriend never actually told his mom it was a sex painting,

but he sent it to her and she figured it out. Next thing you know, we meet his mom and some of her friends at a bar and they were looking at our painting and discussing it. Oh, when I sat down, she started asking me all about it,

getting all excited, saying, I need to show her where I got it so her and her husband can try it too. Oh, no. She then wanted me to go sit next to one of her coworkers and tell them about it as well. The whole time I was extremely embarrassed

and my boyfriend was trying to get his mother to shut up. I understood that he didn't explicitly tell his mom it was a sex painting, but he still sent it to her without making sure it was okay with me first. I feel a little betrayed because this was a private painting

that was between us and we have it hanging in our bedroom. It wasn't really intended for all eyes, especially his mother and her coworkers. Yeah. When I asked him why he did it, he said, because she asked to see it and I didn't think she would show other people.

Is me being upset and embarrassed warranted or is it an overreaction? What can we slash I do to fix this? Any advice would be appreciated. Okay. Oh my God. First of all, I would love to have a visual

of what the sex painting looks like, but obviously she, what you do have. Oh, well, like what some of them look like. Oh, okay. Because if it's almost a nude, obviously you don't want other people

to see that. Also, I get weird vibes, no shade to anyone who's comfortable talking about their sex life with their parents. I? I mean, I think that that probably is healthy. Like one of my friends, her mom is a gynecologist,

so obviously they've always been pretty open about that kind of thing. But sometimes I'm like, why do you talk about it? There's a line. Yeah. There's a line. I'm like very, very open about sexuality.

Yeah. But like, I'll talk about it with my mom, like me, my mom and my uncle, who's gay, like we sat down and talked about sex one day and like, literally got so like deep into it

to like talk about penis size. And like, that's like, okay, that's crossing the line for sure. But I also grew up with my dad, who is just like the most inappropriate person, like his sexual joke. So it's like, you're going to talk about sex one way or another.

I know, but like, would you show them like a painting of you and your boyfriend having sex? So this is what it is. So upon further research, sex painting is you buy like a blank canvas, like this website I'm on. Oh, okay.

And like buy a kit. And so you put non-toxic paint all over your bodies. Okay. Have sex on the canvas. And then whatever you get left with is like, what your painting is. And then you frame it. Okay.

So that's a bit different than I thought. I thought it was like someone painted a photo that was like a still shot from a sex table. I have no idea. But that I guess is less. That's less. Yeah. That's less intrusive in my opinion.

For sure. It really looks like someone, I don't know if you've seen the princess diaries and you see the painting of like them popping the balloon darts. It's just like paint all over. Like it's very abstract. Yeah.

There's not really anything to tell. I totally would be like a bit uncomfortable and embarrassed, but I think that's like just somewhere you would set a boundary. Some of them are so cool. They are very cool. Yeah.

I kind of want to do it. Yeah. I mean, we, you can never tell someone like, no, your boundary is weird. But like for something like that, I feel like all you have to do is say, hey, just so you know,

this is my boundary. Yeah. Like for future reference, I would rather you don't talk about our sex life with XYZ or like show them an intimate moment or like that was something that I really just wanted between us. I don't know.

Yeah. If my boyfriend, I don't have a boyfriend, but if I did have a boyfriend and if he told his parents or showed them our sex painting, I would be like humiliated. But,

but it's also like his family. So he knows the line, like if her, his mother would be uncomfortable with that or like think anything of it. Yeah. Well, the fact that she's into it and like wants to get one.

Yeah. I think it makes it clear that like, this wasn't a big deal to them. No. But yeah, I wouldn't want people showing around my sex painting, I guess. I know it's like,

yeah, you framed it in your bedroom and like, I guess like, I don't know, like maybe a lot of people don't go in your room and like see your room. I wouldn't say it's a betrayal of trust. No.

I think it like, honestly, if I would have seen this and this was hanging in someone's house or like a gallery somewhere, I never would expect like, oh, two people made that by fucking on it. Yeah.

Like, and also that feels like, and maybe it's just because we live in Los Angeles, but that feels like something a lot of people would just have in their living room. For sure. And be like, yeah, that's us making love.

I mean, like, didn't you, did you see that TikTok trend of people like sitting their ass on paint and then like going and sitting on a canvas? I didn't see that, but that does sound lovely. Yeah.

That was like a big trend. And then there's these other influencer girls. Oh, the Kim Kardashian, like this was probably not what you were saying, that like statue, they made like a body mold of their like naked body.

Yes. That is a thing. I like those. I think that's so cool, especially if you do it like when you're pregnant. I know. That's really cool. But no, there was this other,

there's these two influencers and like the only reason I know about them is like my ex-boyfriend paid like 10 grand for their ass cheek painting. What? But they're like these two twins and Fuck your ex-boyfriend first of all.

That's so weird. He's an ex for real. He paid $10,000. Yeah, literally. That's like when that e-girl sold her bathwater. Her bathwater. Like whose bath?

Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. It's very good ridden to him. And no, the funny part was too, he's like, it's going to be an investment.

I'll probably make money on this. Like they're only blowing up. What? I'm like, okay. Like, literally you could have two girls sit on a canvas. Yeah.

That's all it was. Like good for them. Like get the coin girls. Yeah. They're killing it. They are scamming, girl bossing. They are absolutely doing their thing.

Yeah. But the man who spends $10,000. It blew me away. That's so concerning. Blew me away. Yeah. So I don't know. I'm,

I'm super open about sex and sexuality. So for me, like, Yeah. Honestly, I would probably, I don't know if I'd send a picture to my boyfriend's mom, but if it came up,

I wouldn't be embarrassed to be like, oh yeah, this is what we, this is what we did. Yeah. I think this is just more a sense of like, you have a very different boundary than him.

And like, you are not one of those people who would hang it up in your living room and be like, super comfortable with it. But maybe he just didn't really realize that you felt that way about it and just be like,

yo, like this is how I feel moving forward and you're fine. Please don't share it. Yeah. Easy conversation to have. Super easy. Yeah. She doesn't give any edits

about like how she approached it. But I'm glad we looked up what a sex painting is because I felt very differently when it was like, oh, perhaps this is like a painting of them naked. Like, yeah.

So uncomfortable. Like Renaissance style. No, literally, which, which I actually do love that idea as well. I think that that sounds awesome, but I would not want anyone's

mother to see. No. That would be, if it's a realistic painting, that would be a little different for sure. Yeah. Top comment on this one.

How on earth did the mom's friend recognize that? It doesn't sound like it would really look like anything in particular. Yeah. To be fair, in her boyfriend's defense as well,

I feel like he probably didn't think his mom would know it was a sex painting based on what they look like. No. But I also hope like perfect Christmas gift to get your mom. So true.

They're not bad either. If anyone wants one of these kits. Well, you just, yeah, you just get them like a canvas and some paint, right? Yeah. Yeah. Obviously non-toxic.

This website that I found him on by Googling just literally sex painting, it's 60 bucks for the whole kit. Oh, it's a steal. And you make a beautiful memory. Exactly. I know what I'm getting my boyfriend

for his birthday. I hope that like when they did that, they had good sex so that whenever they look at it, it's like a good memory. You know what I mean? Imagine if it just reminded you of like a bad sex.

A horse. Sex story. Ugh. Hi, Jan from Toyota speaking. Jan, I heard it's a good time to buy a Toyota. Sure is. From now until April 4th, you can

shop all your favorites like Corolla, RAV4, Sequoia and more. Imagine yourself in a new Tundraware. You stopped by the home improvement store and finally built that tree house. You promised your daughter.

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Dealer inventory may vary. Yeah, hopefully it was good. Mm-hmm. So up next, my 23 female boyfriend, 25 male, won't stop eating ants and I don't know what to do. What?

Um. Okay. What's the weirdest thing you've ever eaten? Um, I mean like if I'm at a nice restaurant, I'm like, I'll go with it and trust them and be like, okay, I'll try octopus

or I'll try frog or I'll try, yeah, like I'll give it a go because you know, this is a nice place. But never off like the ground have I eaten those things. Yeah, this is weird. I kind of kick myself like when I was in Thailand, I wish I would have

tried like the little scorpions or something. Oh, no, I could not go that far. Oh, no. Okay. That's awful. I don't know. Just because of like what an alive

scorpion can do. That just scares me. Not because I think it's like gross. I would try other insects. I guess like a grasshopper. Yeah. Is there more context for this story? There definitely is.

Okay. Because do we know if they're like candied or if they're off the ground? We're going to find out. Okay. Okay. Okay. My boyfriend and I have recently

moved in together after dating for two years. I was nervous about moving in together at first, but I was pleasantly surprised how easy and natural it felt to merge our lives together. In a lot of ways, we are very compatible and he makes my life happier.

It's not the ants. However, recently he has developed a strange habit. I know that it's normal for partners to have habits or idiosyncrasies that might annoy one another. But this is one that I don't know if I can put up with.

It all started when we were watching a survival show together. Oh no. One of the contestants decided to snack on some ants as a protein source. Right. And they also drink their own pee on

their shows. Like you don't need to be doing that either. No. This caused my boyfriend to wonder what ants taste like. And he became curious to try one. I didn't think much of it at the time

because I didn't think he would actually do it. Well, the next day, while we were cooking together, I noticed some ants crawling on the sink. So I asked my boyfriend to take care of it since he is usually the one to kill any bugs in our apartment.

To my surprise, instead of killing the ants, my boyfriend popped one of them in his mouth and ate it. Alive or dead? Alive. What the fuck? I thought this was hilarious and a little gross, and I asked him what it

tasted like. He said that it tasted slightly sour, like a lemon lime flavor. And it wasn't bad. Okay. My boyfriend is a bit of a jokester, but I assumed this was just a one-time thing that he did to make me laugh.

The thing is, our apartment has a bit of an ant problem. We've tried everything from ant traps to coffee grounds, but we can't seem to get rid of them. Now, every time my boyfriend sees an ant, instead of killing it, he will simply pop it into his mouth.

Hmm, I think this is disgusting and frankly, I don't want to kiss the same mouth that has been eating ants. I know that in some cultures, eating ants is perfectly acceptable, but this is just too strange and taboo for me to get used to. Right.

I've tried telling him to stop eating ants, but I've noticed that even after he said he would stop, sometimes I catch him doing it when he thinks I'm not looking. He's obsessed. I don't know what to do. Am I being dramatic?

Okay. Yes. In cultures, they do eat ants, although like, I don't know how they prepare them, but these are just like wild ants walking around the ground. Like they're not being cleaned or cooked. They're just like free ants.

Also like an ant is like the size of a grain of pepper. Like how do you know you're chewing it and then actually swallowing it? What if it's just like chilling in your mouth? Yeah, I feel like if... What if it got stuck in your tooth?

If he was like taking these ants, making some kind of meal with them, cooking them up. Like a bunch of ants in a bowl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know, making some kind of crunchy, like a crunchy rice dish, like something like that.

Yeah. I don't think that like eating ants in that way would be super weird, but the fact that he's just like, I feel like he just thinks he's like an apex predator right now. He's like, I am, what's the bear grills? Oh my God.

Is that who he thinks he is? Yeah. By doing this, like you don't have to. Like you live in a home. You're not in naked and afraid. You're not on an abandoned island. You can just like eat good food. I don't know.

I think it's very interesting that like she's asked him to stop eating these ants and he's like, no, like this is me now. I love this shit. He's probably texting his friends like, guys, I'm like literally hunting and gathering. Probably.

I'm like, oh, I'm upping my protein. That's probably what he thinks. He probably just thinks he's like doing a really big protein thing. Yeah. Like there's not a lot of carbs in these ants, like my macros. Also, if they've been like trying to get

rid of ants with other means, like what if they have like chemicals on them? Oh my God. You know what I mean? Like if they've been trying to get rid of these ants with other methods. Yeah. Like these are not clean ants.

Yeah. They're, I'd be worried. Maybe she could tell him that she's worried about his health or something. Seriously, because I can't imagine these ants have enough protein to like be substantial for his diet or like healthy or adding any benefit.

She's like, please stop. And he's like, no. Maybe take him to a nice restaurant where they prepare ant meals once a week and he can get his fix that way. Yeah. Or find like a bar on Amazon. I don't know.

I choose that. There's weird restaurants out there that have like these delicacies, like the grasshoppers and all of that. Yeah. I would definitely try that. But I would only try it in like a professionally prepared environment.

Yeah. I don't know. I don't want to be too judgmental because like it's actually a normal thing other places. It is. Yeah. But it does sound very funny.

This might be a deal breaker for me. Like if my boyfriend continued to eat ants, he found like scrounging around my apartment. Right. And I totally understand that she's like, oh my God. And then he tried to put his tongue in

my mouth and I wasn't into it. Like if someone's putting their tongue in your mouth, you can tell them you're comfortable with something else that they're putting in their mouth. Just say you have an ant allergy. Mm-hmm. Like, oh my God.

I'm going to be like, oh my God. I have anaphylactic shock. Yeah. Oh my God. Babe, my tongue has been swelling up lately. And the only thing that's changed is you're eating raw ants now.

You're going to put me in the hospital if you keep eating these ants. Yeah. That if nothing else works, maybe that would. Just try lying. There was this girl that said her parents told her she had a gene where

if she smoked weed, she would shit her pants. Oh my God. I saw this. So sneaky. Which is like the most convincing way to get someone to just not try things in public situations.

Oh yeah. She's like, it's a gene. People in my family shit their pants if they have never tried it. I would never try it. So I think that's so smart. So smart. Sometimes you lie a little.

Sometimes a little white lie can be very helpful, especially, you know, if it's going to ruin you socially. Because like, where does he draw the line? Like if he went to a restaurant and was outdoors and he saw a couple of ants.

Oh yeah. What do you pick up? I don't pick him anywhere. He's addicted to ants now. He's addicted to ants. Which, speaking of bugs. Oh, transition. Nice transition moment.

Am I the asshole for throwing away my husband's couch? He is pretending to be a beetle and it's driving me nuts. What? He's pretending to be a beetle? A beetle. Does he have some kind of couch that

he likes to hide under? I think that's the vibe. Okay. I think that's the vibe. Back story. My 33 female husband, 35 male, is a successful actor in film and theater.

He's very good. And very seriously dedicated to his craft. He is a firm believer in method acting. I'm a shy little buff. I could so see him doing this. I know me too. Oh my God.

Meaning, he tries to truly live in his role in order to understand it. Because of COVID, he basically hasn't had any work this year. And that's been really stressful on us both. A few weeks back, he got the main part in a play by a major theater director.

And so he's over the moon to not just be learning lines again, but working with the greats. He is taking this opportunity extremely seriously. The play is the metamorphosis about a German man waking up one day and finding out he has become

a monstrous bug. A huge beetle. My husband has the main beetle part. For his method acting, he strapped a big thing of cardboard to his back. Like six by four feet to give him the immobility of a big flat bug.

He spends all his time on the floor scurrying around and hissing and snarling. And clicking to communicate. No. Yes. That was really good. Thank you so much.

Wow, maybe you should try this. I'm going to when I get home. This isn't really a problem for me because we have enough space in our one bedroom apartment. The real issue is that since bugs are sensitive to light, he spends most of the day

hiding under the couch sleeping and snarling. This sucks because the couch is the only place in our apartment where I can sit to do work for my company during the day. I don't have a desk, but it's also the only place where he can conveniently lie

flat and hide. This was going on for the last week. I kept tripping over his cardboard shell when I walked past the couch and his sub-couch noises would disrupt me while I was working. So I kind of lost it while he was sleeping in bed

and I threw out the couch. I replaced it with a nice big desk and chair from IKEA that I can work on and he couldn't hide under. This gets to the am I the asshole question. He is now complaining that I threw out his couch. True. That nowhere else in the apartment

is quite as good for being a bug. I'm not sure. And that me sabotaging his ability to be bug-like is compromising our finances. Not really true. I make more money than he does. He has a point on that throwing out his couch might have been over the line,

but there wasn't really a good spot for my work desk anywhere else in the apartment and frankly the bug under the couch thing was driving me nuts. His method acting still seems to be going fine. I'm going to give his days under a blanket fort in our bedroom. See, she made him level up with his acting choices.

She was like, well, what will this beetle do without a couch? You can have the couch everywhere. Yeah. I mean, beetles don't have couches. Beetles got to improvise. So yeah, there we go with the fort. Say yes and King. Learn a new trick. I think that's even challenging his acting more.

Exactly. Like he's becoming better because he's really thinking outside the box. He's training him. Exactly. So, his acting choices would drive me nuts. So, she goes on. So no permanent damage appears to have been done other than the couch, which kind of needed to be replaced anyways.

Okay, so I love this one personally. I think it's amazing. I love that he is taking his job so seriously so many people can't relate to that. I can kind of see both sides here. I mean, sure,

he's a bit weird, but also to somebody like you know you need to just kind of accept them you know like clearly if he's doing this he's done something similar before for sure she knows what she was getting herself into right with the method acting like method actors go above and beyond and granted she probably never knew he'd be cast as a beetle um but still like she knows who she married and you can't really like at that point be like no I need to change you however I don't think that throwing away the couch was really so terrible when he's constantly not

really considering her sanity no a one-bedroom apartment yeah there's not a lot of space to like separate the two yeah so yeah and she needed a workbench which I feel like him needing to hide under the couch to be a bug isn't as important as her needing to do her work no I wonder if she like because she doesn't really mention that she asked him to stop yeah like kind of passive aggressive right slash aggressive just I mean I'm sure she's asked him to stop I mean I guess I can't say for sure but like but you'd think so I'm just imagining myself in that situation I would have like lost it and been like

please stop clicking and scurrying around our home when I'm trying to make our family money I have ADHD as you know like you do as well and so like all of these noises for me would put me over the edge like I cannot focus on multiple things at the same time if someone was like crawling around clicking and like right hissing there's there's a line of where it's like oh I'm making my wife's life very difficult and hard to do her own stuff and I'm impeding on her career it's like yeah cuz he's recognizing that she made it harder to be a bug and he's so mad about that but he's not gonna recognize that like he's been making her

career also very difficult yeah more like all about him you know what I mean so like I don't think there's anything wrong with him method acting being a bug being his quirky self cuz like you know don't try to change people but like I do think there's a lack of consideration in the way he's going about it you know like maybe he can have his bug time and that's a few days a week and he goes to the park no she would hate that too another way to practice your bug stuff do it in the bedroom maybe I don't know that but also I think the park would really put the method acting over the

edge true like that would be the ultimate space to release your bug husband into the wild and see what he does that's where bugs belong I like that this is kind of thematic to the last one also I love that this is like the ant guy oh my god the the bug guy would be terrified of the ant-eater man oh my god he'd be they should they should reenact something together I would love connect them somehow so we should definitely try to connect them cuz the beetle man would have to be like so terrified and then the ant guy would be like please can I eat you I'm just horrified by both of these yeah and like

I do I do feel I feel for the man being like listen you know I love method acting and I am literally cast as a beetle so I'm going to be beatling but at the same time it's like how much can you hide under a couch and learn from that yeah like there's only so many times you can hide under the couch and truly say you're learning something new and also I would say this woman does sound kind of like a saint and I don't think that her just throwing out the couch is like some awful thing to do after how much she has put up with yeah well she made like a little side comment that I did just skip over mm-hmm but he

only acts like a bug during working hours so like a nine to five okay so and that's when she's working at home as well exactly I'm shocked that this relationship survived the pandemic congratulations to them this sounds so difficult truly it would be nice if she could like go somewhere else during the day but that's yeah like a we work situation so when she is trying to work he is clicking and screeching and scurrying with his big cardboard box yeah the box to six feet by four feet is that's that is such a funny visual that's literally hilarious wish she would have posted a picture this man like I

really am sad that there's no I wish there were YouTube videos I would love to see his performance at home wait I wonder if we could find the the play about a beetle that's literally what I'm googling I'm googling the name of the play because I wonder if there's actual pictures of him online oh my god and we show up and then we say are you this man is this you this you okay the play looks horrifying okay that makes sense to me that's one still oh if you're listening and not watching it's like two people in like latex leather full suits and then a man on the ground like turned over this definitely I this is him this

this is the right play this is him we does it say like the year this is this like a recent he is killing the bug by by the way just so you guys know he is really embodying his yes so congratulations to him on that why can't he just like spend all that time watching Beatles and stuff like that and maybe like quietly I know the closet like people spend the most time in dark little tiny places so put him in the closet you know this one is old so this is not a recent one so we're gonna have to find out what year 2020 I hope it's just like a local like really tiny theater production he's like doing all

of that for what I know like literally me in high school spending all my time practicing for theater we love theater girls I mean we don't but like we can appreciate it hey it made you a well-rounded individual thank you so much did thank you so much yeah I'm not seeing anything I'm gonna do some more research and see if I can find him because yeah when we're off the air we're gonna find this man and I can post a picture of it on your Instagram yeah that was the same play though mm-hmm but each director can kind of adapt differently yeah that one looked a bit high budget so it did I'll post the

pictures because it's it's a little terrifying you guys hopefully that's like the most obnoxious role he ever has to practice for although like let's hope he doesn't ever get cast as something scary like a serial killer like cuz when actors do that like it permanently messes up their psyches it does like it really takes a toll like look at Heath Ledger Heath Ledger and like the Joker like he he locked himself in like a I don't know hotel room or something for like two months I'm pretty sure yeah or I don't know the exact details so I don't want to try to pretend I do but it was something really extreme and a lot of

actors do that not even just emotionally but like with their bodies they'll do crazy things like lose weight or like gain weight or so many things that are objectively not good for you oh my god so bad and it's like congratulations you did make some beautiful art but imagine being that person significant other that's got to be like so stressful or just them like I think Tom Hanks had to lose a bunch of weight and then gain a bunch of weight and he actually gave himself diabetes oh my god like how unhealthy he had to be to like gain the weight back oh my god yeah I'm so glad we have like CGI now like Chris Evans in

the um when he was Captain America and they made him really skinny for that first really short and skinny like thank god he didn't have to actually do that to his body yeah or the body suits cuz who's the other Chris Hemsworth and Thor and he has like the big beer belly dad I don't know if Chris Hemsworth could look like that if he tried in real life so yeah I don't think he could and honestly like I've tried one of his workouts the man is a beast oh like I would not try a Chris Hemsworth workout that doesn't sound like something that well maybe that could be my goal it was motivating watching him cuz right oh shit like okay

he's still moving I can do it like but I don't know maybe this is why I don't work out anymore because because you put your body through that too much just too much maybe work up to the Chris Hemsworth routine I know I know but yeah that's interesting I feel like it's I mean she kind of knows what she's signed up for but maybe she thought it would be a phase yeah well hopefully they'll get a better couch out of the deal yeah I hope the play goes and you know if you're listening have a discussion about the clicking yeah I just I don't know good luck good luck to you praying for you thoughts and prayers I hope it went well

there's no update on the post and the top comments are just we would love to come see the show queen tickets give us a flyer yeah send us tickets I'm just gonna see if she posted anything else on her account nothing damn nothing that's so that's so unfortunate yeah maybe the creepy listening algorithm will put it on her page and she'll DM you yeah here's the thing I'm creeping on one of her comments mm-hmm they live in northern California it was a very nice mid-century modular couch honestly probably looks like the one we're sitting on mm-hmm it was tall wooden legs so it was easy to get under for him

but this thread was posted six months ago and she goes the premiere will be next year in Los Angeles so we literally are going we're gonna we are literally going to bugman show we're gonna find metamorphosis and we're gonna get pictures with them oh my gosh okay so we need to we can totally find this when we're done recording we're gonna find it we're gonna go and we're gonna have literally the time of our lives this is gonna be great oh my god we are so happy so hard over bug boy we can make a merch we can be wearing like shirts let's say we love you little guy where's your couch be more considerate of your

wife I love this it's so funny we're going okay I'm so excited it's it's set this one is gonna leave you feeling a certain way I think oh god the thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes ashtrays and lighters I started exercising instead of smoking staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key I kept on trying learn something each time do whatever it takes no matter how many times it takes we did it so can you for free and confidential help call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit way2quit.org developed by CDC am I

the asshole for refusing to apologize for throwing away my dinner instead of letting my fiancee have it I female 22 have been with my fiancee male 20 for two years and we recently got engaged I handle cooking while he takes care of all the other stuff including rent and utilities he's been eating a lot lately I started cooking in large pots and buying extra ingredients he usually tells me what he'd like to eat for dinner note I only cook dinner three times a week other than that we have plenty of leftovers so on to the situation last night I cooked dinner early because he wanted to eat early I prepared his plate

and put my plate in the fridge ready to reheat for later I was finished with studying and took a shower then went into the kitchen to reheat my dinner and sat at the table by myself and began eating my fiancee came out of the bedroom saying he smelled the food while he was inside playing video games and thought of joining me because he was hungry without even asking he put his hand on my plate wanting to eat from it I stopped him and told him he was being selfish as he already had his a larger portion of what was cooked dinner and the food on my plate was barely enough for me he complained about being hungry

from playing video games I told him I was hungry because of studying he made a face and went to grab a spoon so we could eat together I pulled my plate away and pointed at the fridge telling him there was some leftovers in the fridge and he could go ahead and reheat some if he was so hungry he refused and insisted to share my dinner I stood my ground and didn't let him he got all pissed through his spoon in the sink and spit in my plate what oh I would shank him I would take my utensil and put it in his hand I would not handle this well spit at all that is such a disrespectful act that's abusive yeah that's very very

disrespectful that is abuse like we have talked about the worst ways you can argue with somebody and that is the worst the worst the worst I was a hundred percent taken by surprise and was so livid and disgusted I shouted what the fuck did he just do he just smirked at me telling me to enjoy as he walked out of the room I called him fucking childish and he turned around and walked back in saying I was the one acting like a high school bully for refusing to let him share my dinner and telling him a high school bully he's so ridiculous and telling him to just have leftovers I said he was being selfish and petty to

spit on my plate to stop me from eating and he managed to do it I was so upset and couldn't eat what was on my plate it was gross and disgusting I threw it in the garbage can and he threw another fit asking why I threw away perfect food and he was counting on me giving it to him after he spit on it we had a major fight probably the worst fight we've ever had thus far he says I was wrong I escalated and wants me to apologize first so we could put this past us but I said no no way I'd apologize after he ruined my dinner and disregarded the time and effort I made to prepare dinner um that is very messed up I would just like

don't understand like why would it ever go there why would it ever go there I just like cannot imagine like how hateful you have to feel in a moment to like do that you know what I mean like you have to feel so like I don't know you just like aren't even treating that person like a human no you're totally disregarding them as a person and this is your fiance you're supposed to love them and like let her just fucking eat let her eat like she wants to have food let her eat why do you feel so entitled to someone else's food no that's so fucked up and there's leftovers in the fridge it takes two seconds to scoop

something on a plate or a bowl and put it in the microwave yeah but he's got fortnight to get back to a fucker this is so so bad oh my god this would be a relationship ending for me yeah me too I'm glad that they're not married yet this is and like yeah what's worse they feel maybe not worse but like the fact that now that that moment has come and passed and it's like another day he's still isn't even understanding that like he's the one who should apologize it's not like this happened then the next he was like oh my god that was really messed up with me I'm so sorry like that would still be bad but the fact that

even now still he's like no he's standing his ground didn't give me your food and that was deserved you escalated this like how how was she escalating it by just not giving the food like just my not giving it to him who knows and throwing it away and like you just know if he's that selfish and he's probably so bad in bed it does translate to other areas honestly he's literally not considering the fact that she needs to eat to survive there's no way that he is like a generous or even equitable partner I'm blown away by this one like I literally was about ready to like toss my phone and like if I would have been

her and someone spit in my food that food and that plate like I get like don't fight violence with violence right but like that thing would have been tossed at him yeah that is very messed up I would love to ask her to please leave him but I don't know if she'll hear us are there comments like are there people being like girl yes yes top comment not the asshole and I sincerely hope you have already broken up with this man do not tie your life to his next one is like a million red flags he dropped about 500 of these not the asshole OP but you could drive a B-52 bomber through your boyfriend's asshole it is so big

he spit in your food that you were eating because he is an angry angry little man do not let anyone disrespect you like that it will only get worse yeah I mean like they're not even married yet and he's doing shit like that that is such a 500 red flags because that's not a good sign of no behavior to come no and like he was so malicious and like toxic the fact that he spit in her food in hopes that she would then give it to him but it's like okay this is just over food what is it gonna be like down the road when you get in a fight over something that is like more that's so like this is literally such a

low stakes reason to have that aggressive of behavior like all that he had to do is fucking heat up some food literally just heat up some food but he wanted her specifically which is like kind of a sign of wanting somebody to show that like value yeah dominance and like that they value you over their own like survival and like it's a very creepy like instinct for him to think no I need to have exactly what like she wants right now in order to feel like I'm in control and like this is it's some very like toxic alpha masculinity bullshit yeah like the place it's coming from is not good no this comment like really

really stood out to and it got a shit ton of awards and they go comments get awards on reddit they get awards and like presents and apparently like yeah like these people have to spend money to give the award so it's like it's really it's kind of crazy you can get money for good comments on reddit see that's what I don't know but I know that it costs money to buy the awards okay so then I don't know if like once you get the awards you can cash out I can make millions on reddit I've got comments another avenue we should explore thank you so much so this comment though this isn't a red flag at all red flags are

alarming potentially suspicious behavior that indicates someone might be abusive this is straight-up abusive not the asshole and for the love of God don't marry this dude oh my gosh when you started that like sentence I was like oh I'm about to be mad at someone but then cuz he was like this isn't a red flag and I was like um but then they were like they recovered yeah you're so true yeah no this is abusive this is very like psychologically mentally emotionally abusive maybe they need to stop playing these video games I actually don't know if that's a thing do do violent video games make people feel

violent there's a lot of research on that I don't remember if it was concluded one way or the other but like but maybe he's coming off of that like I'm a god I kill people like I get all the food I want game gamer hi yeah I feel like gamer like convos and environments can just be like not the best yeah especially for women yeah like the tiktoks of women gamers who like just go into a game and they're like hi and it's instant go make me a sandwich bitch yeah I don't know yeah this man needs some not help actually he needs to be like isolated on an island yeah he needs he needs an intervention of some sort my dad is like standing

behind us too and he's like like doing like a shoot yourself so trades over there yeah he's my dad is listening again waiting for his his shot back in the in the spotlight but yeah this one run run far and fast because yeah there are so many different like parts of that that I feel like indicate really unhealthy behaviors but also like ways of viewing his partner and like I don't know just the kind of dynamic he wants to have with her which is not good yeah not gonna apologize now that's crazy to me the fact that he's sticking to his not even like I'm so sorry baby I never would have meant to do that to you he's

like um you better apologize bitch you did not get your food no fuck him he's not cooking at all you made me spit bitch this dude sucks like absolutely sucks throw him away throw him away wash your hands never open the trash again good riddance okay last one we're ending we started off very positive and like funny yeah and we took a turn because this one too is also gonna make me mad yeah okay I'm ready am I the asshole for throwing away my girlfriend's dead best friend's t-shirt yes there's no more context needed terrible what the fuck yeah so he goes hear me out I know it sounds bad I have been with my

girlfriend for a couple years and we live together my girlfriend lost her best friend of ten years her senior year of college they had gone through a lot together but the best friend had some untreated mental issues and she lost the fight against her depression my girlfriend was the one who found her they lived together at the time this caused my girlfriend to spiral she wound up helping the parents go through her stuff she now has a box of old journals that were her best friends they had a pact that if one dies they wouldn't let anyone else read them to embarrassing or something a t-shirt and some art she

had done and a bunch of scrapbooks my girlfriend was in a dark place for a long time I met her a couple years after the incident and it's taken time but she has gotten better she was and is in counseling for grief and other stuff she used to talk about the friend constantly but now it's down to every once in a while now generally when I clean I take stuff and put it in a bag and tell her to go through it before I throw it out today I was going through our closet and was making a donate slash throwaway pile I asked her to go through it when I was done but she had a lot of work and said it was probably fine she generally

doesn't care too much about her clothes and I think she was overwhelmed well I threw out the stuff that was worn and old ripped etc then after I showered my girlfriend came yelling at me demanded to know where the t-shirt is I asked her what t-shirt and she said the one belonging to her dead best friend I asked if she lost it and she said no it was in the closet so then I said it might have gotten thrown out and she just started screaming at me I said I asked her to go through the piles but she said no but then she said that it should have never been in the piles given how much she has talked about the friend and that

apparently she told me the story behind the t-shirt I don't recall it I know there was a story I knew there was a t-shirt but I never paid enough attention to which shirt well she has now taken a bag to her brothers I just don't get why she is so upset she has all of these other things to remember her by a t-shirt isn't that big of a deal okay I don't know how I feel about him like just not knowing it was the t-shirt like I guess I don't fully blame him for that part but the way he's reacting to this is not empathetic at all like he should be like oh my god I feel so bad for doing this like I that was a stupid mistake I

should have paid better attention to like you're telling me about this like clearly he knows that this is very important to her because he was describing her mental state like at the beginning of this credit early like in detail he very clearly understood like all of those things but like he now doesn't really understand why it matters to her when like yeah saw how torn up she's been yeah the last sentence I don't get why she is so upset she has all of these other things to remember her by like doesn't matter what else she has that t-shirt was important yeah bottom line right and like I don't I think maybe

all 10% blame him for like accidentally choosing that and like you know she also probably should have put it somewhere different or like made it very clear to him been like this is the shirt if that was never mentioned but like the way he's treating it now and being like I have no idea why she's mad at me that's really not fair no not at all and like it sounds like she found out pretty quickly yeah like it sounds like he just like literally threw the stuff away in the donate pile or whatever and then was showered and she found out like I would if say I made a mistake and did this I would immediately be trying to fix it I

would run down to the trash or I would run to the donation place yeah and try to get it back mm-hmm like it's not gone gone unless you literally put it in the trash and then the fucking dumpster truck came yeah this should have been like reacted to as if it was an awful mistake that like yeah he felt so bad about and didn't mean and then maybe it could have been okay but I feel like probably part of why she left is that he responded like why is it such a big deal like that that's only gonna further her frustration and anger and like reaction that's gonna escalate it yeah well and the fact to what I'm kind of getting

stuck on with this one like he talks about how important the friend is but then he's like I know she told me a story but like honestly I just didn't listen yeah you're right that part was also very icky sounding like I know that it was really really important to her and she told me a story I don't really remember what it was I wasn't paying close attention like what I don't remember the shirt this was clearly like a very vulnerable moment for her and like that's probably part of the frustration too is it probably as an indicator of larger issues she has in the relationship of him just like not paying

attention to things that are super important to her and this was clearly like a very strong manifestation of that 100% I don't know so top comment on the original post you're the asshole I was on your side thinking you just honestly fucked up with no ill intent until I got to your last two sentences yeah that's how I felt too I was like oh my god that's awful for both of them because like he had no idea he was just trying to clean made a big mistake yeah no it sounds like from his language and like just random little parts in there that he just truly doesn't pay much attention to things she says that are

important to her and now he's like why are you so mad which all of those things are just gonna make it even bigger than what it already was which it already is gonna upset her a lot yeah it's just it's heartbreaking so there is an update okay is that promotion just out of reach are you looking to change careers then take the next step at the University of Northern Colorado here you can get the skills you need to succeed with a graduate certificate master's or doctoral degree our graduate school and extended campus offer over 100 flexible career focused programs online or in person all tailored to fit your unique needs as an

adult learner isn't it time you took the next step check out the graduate school and extended campus at the University of Northern Colorado so with my last post I figured I owed you guys an update I had apologized at the time but I didn't think I fucked up that badly at this point some of this stuff felt excessive I was the one going through a shared closet because we have been doing an overall deep clean of the apartment as far as getting rid of her stuff I was only throwing out stuff that was clearly ripped she was aware this was happening I did try to get the shirt back by the time I got out there the

trash had been picked up I called the company but they said it was gone after reading some comments I called the best friend's parents my girlfriend still goes around the holidays over there and briefly explained what happened they said that over the past year they have been downsizing and they went through her stuff and half got donated but the other half was sitting in her sister's attic in a box if I wanted to ask her I called the sister told her what happened and asked if there was anything she'd be willing to let my girlfriend have she said she has a couple sorority shirts that she would be willing to give her

and apparently the friend had two necklaces and she'd be willing to give one to my girlfriend I said that would be great I talked to my girlfriend and let her know where to send it I drove to the brother's house to talk to my girlfriend when I got there I hadn't even gotten out of my car before her youngest brother and cousin came out and just started screaming at me her cousin said I had no right to have any opinion about the best friend that she was some amazing person and I had been so disrespectful about her wait what opinion did he have I don't know I feel like he's uh he's keeping some things out I

think I think he's leaving things out here he's conveniently like what was the opinion that her family members are so upset about I know he then said that if her best friend were still alive she would have talked my girlfriend into dumping me years ago go off I felt that was uncalled for her brother started telling me to go to hell and that I was always jealous of the best friend and that I need to get off his property I tried to explain I was here to fix it but he wouldn't even let me see my girlfriend apparently she is in a rough shape and had to take days off work because she is having some kind of

meltdown so I left I got home and I got a call from the sister I picked up and didn't know what my girlfriend told her but she laid into me and said I was some unforgivable asshole stomping all over her sister's memory damn oh he's such a victim isn't he I don't trust this man I think he's been saying some shit mm-hmm she said she would be more than happy to send my girlfriend the items we talked about but to her brother or grandmother's house since I can't be trusted a couple hours later I got a text from her saying it's over and she's breaking up with me her brothers came by an hour later to get her stuff and she

is now refusing to take any of my calls so for those who hoped she would dump me you got your wish oh but ever grow up you little bitch a little victim complex oh my god I couldn't imagine breaking up with her over this especially since we were together almost three years and she can't even answer her phone to dump me I feel like okay we're only getting this man's side and like what he chooses to tell and it still doesn't make him look great no so I imagine if the girlfriend were giving us like the actual context of like I'm sure he made little comments when he's like it's not that big of a deal like he probably said some shit

along with that that clearly upset the family and her and like we're on it to this place like sir tell us the whole truth I wish that she could tell us what he said I know the top comment on this one I get the feeling there's something important you are leaving out after you spoke with the sister and told her what happened she agreed to send a couple items to replace the shirt but then she got the story from your ex and now is furious with you what are you leaving out of the story right because clearly like when he was asking for the new stuff he would have told her in that conversation that he accidentally threw

it out yeah like didn't freak out in that conversation so like she knew that but then there was something else that happened that he's not mentioning that brought it to a different place mm-hmm oh my god yeah we're gonna it's about to get really juicy oh there's more there's more I'm so excited the next comment goes I bet you a dollar boyfriend has tried to get rid of all items before or expressed repeated irritation with the stories slash important this friend had in his ex's life and someone goes he did he made her take down six pictures she had of her friend in their house and also complains in another comment that

she was still seeing her dead best friend's family and friends once a year he also bitched about finding her looking at old videos of her best friend in the middle of the night what what is he so insecure about what it like why is this such a thing this is so weird this is weird very very insecure yeah I had an ex get like upset about my little red panda stuffed animal that I sleep with every night and he was like mean to my red panda stuffed animal and I almost killed him I was like first of all it's not alive I just love to cuddle it and I do care for mr. Rover but like why are you mad at him what the fuck how is

someone so insecure and I don't know by a stuffed animal I don't know I don't like a dead girl like this was someone that was so so important to her and her life and she's gone there is no competition because she's literally gone yeah and like if she was alive like she wouldn't be looking at pictures of her in the middle of the night obviously like why does your why does your world need to revolve only around you yeah well and in that comment they go if it's in the middle of the night it means she was trying to hide it and yet he says she was being excessive yeah he is a narcissistic control freak and that poor

girl dodged a massive bullet yeah even in his original one he was like she used to talk about her all the time but now she only mentions her like every now and then yeah probably because of how you react yeah it's probably not because she doesn't care anymore yeah you're trying to make her not care because you're insecure that is literally crazy so toxic no offense to crazy people I am one of you yeah absolutely disgusting this is a big trend that I've actually seen on Reddit though where like yeah boyfriends are threatened by like their girlfriend's ex fiance who passed away and like this one guy went so far as to like this

girl had her old locket that he like her ex fiance who had passed gave her and he threw it away what the fuck yeah like people are so threatened and it's like why how why for what like there's no competition when that person is gone yeah that's very gross I don't understand like how you can be so controlling over someone's like attention and time that like a dead person who was even platonic could like platonic he was mad that she saw her family once a year like what why would that matter like you could see anybody once a year is she allowed to have friends that is so strange because like I don't know like

I'm super close with like some of my friends as family yeah their family becomes your family yeah and if you were friends for 10 years like she died her senior year of college which okay you're like 22 so if they were friends for 10 years yeah that's a lot of time and like yeah all the big life moments well they started out being friends so young so yeah like all those life moments from 12 until like 22 or college graduation age like that's a lot of life to live with someone oh my god I am so glad that it ended with her dumping him and I love that he was trying to be like so everyone's saying she should dump me

congrats you got your wish you got your wish like oh my god please stop projecting on everybody else cry a little more he almost did get me to feel like bad for him in the first post when he was like I had no idea and I was like oh he probably is about to say how bad he feels but no no he's just like my girlfriend's overreacting right like she did not do anything to make this clear to me like clearly he does know how much it mattered to her because he's been bothered by it oh yeah like well and it's like if it was a true accident and you know you made like an honest mistake yeah you wouldn't be riding in a reddit

yeah if you were the asshole that's so true I like there is a part of me that does think it maybe was on purpose 100% yeah I mean if he's making her take down like other things oh my god yeah and also the way he described her like having a breakdown as having some little meltdown or something like that he yes you said some kind of words where I was like that's not how you describe someone going through a hard time when you care about them yeah like do you even like your girlfriend because all signs point to no yeah like big fucking no well happy ending with her breaking up with him I'm glad we got to know that because

I would be so upset right now if we didn't know that or if they were together still I'd be heartbroken I'm glad she has like people around her that like she was honest with and like told the story to when they're like stay away from him oh the brother and the cousin coming outside yeah round of applause for that like go off the what it that was the comment like if her friend was alive she would have convinced her to dump you years ago like love that they're like probably true give them a little bit of a wake-up call that's why she misses her so much yeah I can't imagine like I can't imagine so terrible well we got a

lot of good contenders today so many so many fun little friends with their bugs and their the beetle toxicity and their spit and their clacks and their god some of these I would kill if they happen to me like I know I was like listening to most of these thinking oh my god my response this would be so much worse I know I don't know how some of these people keep it together because I like the spit one yeah dude would be out of the house yeah he would out of the house be missing a limb done done did you have any little stories you wanted to share I don't have like stories but I would love to share a little a couple of my she

writes dogs posts as of late because you know they're kind of similar you got some good contenders always this one is very short but I really loved this interaction so a girl DM Tim I'm swamped at work today trying to catch up and don't think I'm gonna be able to make it work tonight can we reschedule and he replied hey no I'd rather not let's just stick with today smiley face what so funny to me she's like sorry like I'm really swamped don't think I can make it work we reschedule he's like you know what she left an opening she left a little bit of an opening the question mark at the end

like it doesn't work like that yeah someone commented that smiley face at the end is choosing violence what a dick that's so funny this is why he's still single and then here's a really good one I'm very happy to have cyber met you and hope we have a wonderful relationship for a long time starting today however I want to give you informed consent that I have diabetes so I don't wear condoms is that alright with you if we develop a passionate relationship I'd love to in your and mouth after we make love and 69 since they've had 30 years of relationships without condoms and I have neuropathy and it is very hard to get

and stay hard with condoms I hope you understand my medical situation this man I literally googled I was like two people with diabetes can they not wear condoms and like of course that's not true but I literally did Google it to make sure first I have no fucking words for this at all like diabetes causes like numbness and tingling that's the neuropathy neuropathy depending on how you like ever the fuck you want to say it but like I don't know how to say words I literally I'm in health care and I'm like neuropathy like everyone says different anyways so like I don't fucking know but I'm like okay but like I

don't I've never heard of losing sensation in your dick hope you understand my medical situation but we cannot use condoms also like how soon is this coming out like happy to have cyber met you like yeah like I don't think initial DMs like what are we working well I'm sure that they haven't met yet otherwise he would have said I'm very happy to have met you he wouldn't this is clearly like they have not even met no no no no and like 30 years of passionate sex without condoms no one needs this information sir my dad is like blown away he is up out of his seat to hear this one he is shaking his head

you guys like oh my god I'm disturbed I'm absolutely disturbed do you want me to do one more okay keep them coming okay okay so the guy said none of my attempts to make you happy mean anything to you and she was like I try to show you that I love you as much as I can I don't know what to do I'm sorry and he said just let me die she said what he said let me die it doesn't matter because you were happy and then he sends a screenshot from her Instagram with the caption you don't look sad and it's her to Shawn Mendes concert and she says what's wrong with me being happy though and he said I'm not as good as Shawn don't say

shit about he doesn't compare to me because you know damn well he's more talented better-looking he's never met you and makes you happier than me you'd probably rather spend a day with him over me and the only reason you stopped idolizing him was because we started officially dating but you still posted stuff when I told you I loved you I know that doesn't matter how many times you tell me I'm special I know he'll always have a place in your heart and then he sends a picture of like a sign she made I guess that just says get well soon Shawn with an exclamation point with like a heart and he said every time I see

your drawn hearts I'll think of Shawn and realize it's nothing special just for me oh my god is this man okay like he's mad that she was happy at a concert he was like I don't make you happy like that okay that's a you problem this guy and the last one who threw away the t-shirt need to meet because yeah sound like they are so true like a narcissistic victim complex these these people were in college as well this isn't like this isn't middle schoolers which I know I was gonna say how old are they no they're in college oh my god no they are broken up now she did give me the update thank god thing about like my posts is

that people submit them to me so I can always follow up and be like are you guys done please tell me you're done dear Lord what a man mm-hmm put him in some fucking rice because yeah that is very similar to the one that you said like why you draw hearts and I'll never feel special again when you draw me a heart cuz I know you did the same for sure he's so much more talented than me well yes yeah Shawn Mendes is more talented than you guys like clearly look at him he's too worried like what like that's his job he's literally famous and has awards okay a truer statement couldn't be said what do you want me to

so fucking funny no no babe no Sean is like doesn't compare to you sending her a picture of her Instagram like you look happy here nothing you say matters let me die what are you supposed to do at a concert like sit there and fucking soul looks sad cuz your boyfriend who's the only person who can give you joy isn't there that's all you can do sometimes you just like wonder like why do people people like why do men men like sometimes women fit the box too why do women women like what the fuck yeah I don't know I love that though that's like literally a college aged man so broken up over her enjoying herself at

a Shawn Mendes concert my god he's like I can't make you smile the diabetes man is gonna haunt me yeah absolutely haunt me yeah that one you know I've heard a lot of excuses for not wanting to wear a condom oh mm-hmm but that that might be that's definitely sticking in my head forever I had another one that was like her DMing him or not DM but like texting him like I want to use condoms from now on and him just replied you're so fucking selfish different couple but like it's just very funny sir like comparatively the amount that birth control affects women's bodies and like we just put up with that shit like

please give me a break yeah well and how easy it is for us to get UTIs and yeah like just a dick alone can offset our pH's like just admit that you have a porn addiction and that's why your dick doesn't work like please I just like don't I don't understand maybe buy a condom size that fits like used lube like I don't I don't know like that sounds like a yeah but shout out to all of them hope you're having fun that's just a little bit of what we do on Sheeran stall oh my gosh yeah come join Michaela over there and check out our episode yeah I you guys would love it you get into Morgan's like you know medical not

medical jargon medical jargon your educational history mental health your mental health expertise our tangents were on point so true we did we did tangent a lot it was it was good that's just the way our little brains work little rat brains little rat brains well thank you so much for having me no thank you I had so much fun I love the bugs I know we're gonna speak we're gonna find Beetle man we we are finding him like that is on my bucket list now and if you guys are interested in also finding Beetle man and going to a show follow two hot takes on Instagram and there will be updates posted look at

you just plugging me over there oh my god no but we're seriously going we we should start like a little group and like maybe see if we can get like a bulk ticket price yeah and we can like frame the playbills and it'll be like the fondest memory and if we have him sign it yeah oh my gosh yeah yeah she might be bigger celebrity than him at this point be like ma'am are you okay oh my god do you sleep I'm just traumatized by these stories today mm-hmm but there are good and happy healthy relationships are there so yeah all the story don't stick around for shitty ones don't stick around don't settle don't like think that

the red flags are gonna go away they're only gonna heighten they get worse when you're with somebody that's great you should be surprised at like how great they are and how much more they do than you expected not like making little consolations of no it's fine that they actually are not great no because it just gets worse no one gets better they just get worse most times a tiger does not change their stripes so true I love that quote by Elton John is that Elton John no I have no ideas literally no clue why am I so gullible why why I don't know Elton John said a lot of things he's brilliant we got another pipe in

from my dad okay it was Oprah that could be more believable but on that note until next time yeah thanks thanks for having me guys bye guys hi Jan from Toyota speaking Jan I heard it's a good time to buy Toyota sure is from now until April 4th you can shop all your favorites like Corolla RAV4 Sequoia and more imagine yourself in a new tundra where you stop by the home improvement store and finally build that tree house you promised your daughter Sarah when did you hop on the call hi dad mom said you were taking too long in Toyota let's go places see your participating Toyota dealer for

details dealer inventory may vary the thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes ashtrays and lighters I started exercising instead of smoking staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key I kept on trying learn something each time do whatever it takes no matter how many times it takes we did it so can you for free and confidential help call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit way2quit.org developed by CDC