Two Hot Takes - 241: Impractical Reactions? Ft. Sal Vulcano

Episode Date: November 6, 2025

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Sal Vulcano of Impractical Jokers!! No matter what problem we come across on Reddit you always kind of ask, "Was that reaction appropriate? Or was it impractical?" We're introducing Sal to Reddit and all the chaos it contains. He questions his sanity and a few stories, but I think we hang in there and deliver some solid verdicts! How would you handle these situations if you were OP?! Checkout Sal's Tour and Projects!!: https://salvulcanocomedy.com https://www.instagram.com/salvulcano Partners: Olly: Olly.com Skims: Skims.com/tht NEW MERCH: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://shop.twohottakes.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Bonus Content on Patreon including FREE stories: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ MERCH HERE ! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://shop.twohottakes.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Send us a letter? Our PO Box!! Two Hot Takes. 5042 Wilshire BLVD. #470. Los Angeles, CA 90036 WRITE IN TO US!!! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Index: 00:00 -- Start Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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This is exciting. I'm excited. Pleasure to meet you. I'm so excited to have you. Thank you. I've been panicking over what stories I'm going to read for you for probably 20 hours now. Really? Oh, yeah. I didn't let them rip.

I was literally on a like a red eye from London for our honeymoon. And I was like, oh my God, sales coming on. What the fuck am I going to read? And I hope I deliver today. Okay. I'm excited because I don't know what I'm going to get into right now. I know. It's an air of excitement right now for me.

Hi, guys. Congratulations, by the way. Thank you. Yes. I know. I love love. It's quite surreal. I'm like, I want to do it again.

It was so much fun. What does it feel? Do you, what does you feel? Do you be married? It's good. It's really good. Really exciting. You're throwing around my husband this, my husband, that yet?

I used it for the first time today. And I was like, oh, God, that sounds weird. It sounds weird. It's going to, it goes away right away. It's fun, though, right? It is really fun. Like, all of our friends are texting us after the wedding. They're like, I don't know how you guys are doing, but we're depressed.

It's over because it was so fun. Oh, that's awesome. So they're like, we need to do an anniversary party every year. Like, you need to keep throwing these parties. And I'm like, okay. Did you have a banger wedding? It was like, I mean, we had a camel. We had a donkey.

We had a magician. Oh, you did have the camel. Oh, yeah. Okay, good, good, good. Yeah, we got it all. You had a camel, a donkey and a magician. Yeah. Three things, I would have never guessed you said that.

You would have said. Tarot reader, hat bar. The magician would have blew me away, but somehow in the third position there, I wasn't that impressed with it because you started with camel. And it's hard. camel rides donkey rides donkey was passing out beer you should have a nativity scene what was going lover boy you know that would have been a really good idea people probably would have really loved a baby jesus as well you got a camel guy yeah i got a camel girl how do you do that she's got two of them

she just google camel girl my mom's friends got two camels your mom's friends yeah your mom's friend is the one who has yeah she owns two camels well how does that happen don't camels need to be somewhere where camels be I don't know. It's in Minnesota. They survived there, I guess. Minnesota, Minnesotian camels? Yeah. Wow. They do okay. All right. They do okay. Who's the magician good? Oh, my God. His name's Chris. He is amazing. I still am sitting here. Like, I don't understand some of his tricks. Just kind of walking around during the reception, just blowing people's balls off.

Yeah, nice. Exactly. I feel like you would really, you'd really fall for it. Oh, I love magic. You seem like that vibe. Yeah, it's fun. Why not? I love it. Okay. Yeah. I have magician friends and I, and I, sometimes I'll tell me little tricks and stuff. The Carpanaro sex guy. I have kids. Well, I have more than, yeah, more than those.

Have you met him? Oh, yeah, no him, yeah. I feel like he's actually magic. Have you gone to the magic castle? Yeah. Okay. It's like one of my favorite places. I haven't. I was invited and I went and they turned me away at the door because they didn't

like my pants. And my three friends who I went with went in. Oh. And I walked in a, in a stiff leather upper, by the way. I walked to Ross for less about eight miles. away to try to get pants to get back in time to see the show. Oh my God. And I went there. I was like literally have blisters. I get there and I took a pair of slacks from Ross for less. They weren't hemmed. They were like proper slacks that weren't hemmed. So they were like

a foot too long. I cuffed them inward. Okay. And I walked back to the magic castle. By the time I got up there, they were all done again. I had new slacks on and I got up. I'm not even joking. It was like clockwork. My friends were walking out that the whole night was done. I missed the whole entire thing. I've got a pass if you want to go. Do you? Oh, you even have a pass. Yeah. Oh, you can have, you have a pass? Well, like, we have, like, a friend who's, she's got tickets and she's just like, here's a pass for you. Yes, I do want to go. Okay. But I don't want to take a pass that you have. I got to get out of jail, free card. What's that? I get to bring five people. Okay. Yeah, it's me plus five. Really? Yeah. I do

want to go again. I really do. I want to see. I got you. I love immersion. I love to be immersed. Okay. We're immersing you today. Here we go. Terrible at introducing my guests per usual, you guys. Welcome back to another episode two how it takes i'm host morgan i've got sal volcano over here not to be confused with tonka jihari i know that's a common misconception this is not tonka this is sal we're getting i'm not chrispy i'm not crannistic basketball i'm not prince herb these are all names i've gotten from that show it's not raining today so that's that's positive um so let's get into these stories shall we yes let's dive in Thank you.

Thank you for me, yeah. This episode of Two Hot Takes is presented by OLLI. Women always come first with OLLI. That's why they made their loving libido, a supplement that helps take the pressure off so you can enjoy yourself and sex again. Be a little self-serving and get loving libido at a retailer near you or at OLL.com. So you can get yours. That's O-L-L-L-Y.com. The way you have prepped me for this, I am so intrigued.

Okay. Our first one, I'm easing you into it. Okay, I can't just fuck you up at the beginning. So this first one is coming from our slash, Today I Fucked Up. It is nine days old, titled, Today I Fucked Up by microwaving my socks at work. Okay.

So I biked to work. This morning it poured on me halfway there and my shoes and socks were absolutely soaked. By the time I got to the office, my feet were pruned like raisins. I thought, quote, okay, I'll just dry them out real quick in the break room microwave.

I'd seen people do gloves in there before. No big deal. I take off my socks, toss them in for two minutes, go back to my desk. About 45 seconds in, I smell something awful, like burnt hair mixed with wet dog. Then the fire alarm goes off. Turns out, the synthetic material in my socks basically melted and filled the entire office with smoke. Everyone evacuated. Building management shows up, asks where the fire is, and all. all my coworkers are standing around shivering in the parking lot while I admit to, uh, it was my socks. Wow. Now the microwave is trashed. HR sent an email reminding everyone not to cook clothing. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. And I have achieved permanent nickname status, hot socks. Today I fucked up.

Did you though? I mean, this, what I heard right there is a core memory. I heard life. I heard a story that is only laughs now that is past. Hot Talks is a pretty cute nickname. You got a nickname. Hot Sox. This is like, I don't know if you fuck.

Sometimes like, you know, as a comic, I mean, that's amazing. We look for things to happen like that. What's your biggest work fuck up? Oh my God. I'd have to think back across my whole life here. My biggest work, I'm trying to think. I know. It doesn't have to be impractical jokers.

I wasn't even, oh, I wasn't, you were going way back. I was just going to my jobs. Okay. I don't even consider, yeah, yeah. Because on the show, it's like, that's what you do. That's what it's every moment, yeah. I was trying to think if I, if I might have messed up in any, like, real way. What jobs have you had before?

I've only had like four jobs in my life. What are they? My first job, I worked at a deli. Okay. For four years through high school. Okay. I delivered pizza for four years through college. and then after college, I began working at Prudential Securities.

Oh, my gosh. My aunt worked there. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. So I worked at like the home offices in New York and I, from different departments. And then I wanted to focus on comedy and stuff. So I left and started bartending.

My plan B was to own a business if I didn't like break through in comedy. So as I was bartending, I was learning that business as well as I could. And toward like the ninth or tenth year of being. a bartender, I bought a bar with some friends. Very cool. I started a business. And in that exact, I mean, I bought this bar. I put in like half my life savings into it.

Two months later, I got the television show. That's crazy. Which is wild because I needed to, you know, when you start a business, you need to dedicate all of your time to. Yeah, you're kind of all in. And now I basically won the lottery after all these failures. And I got this show and you need to put all your energy into that. So for the first two seasons of that show, I had the bar and the show.

and I would do the show all day and I would go and be at the bar until four in the more. New York is 4 o'clock. Oh my God. So I'd be there, you know, three or four nights a week till 4 o'clock and then filming at 8, 9 o'clock.

That's a grind. It was. It wasn't good. And after two years in the show still being on, I took a leap of faith and I relinquished my shares in the bar. Wow. Yeah.

I always got so scared watching people with the little meat slicer thing. Like every time I watch someone slice a meat for a sandwich. I still have a scar from slicing my tip of my finger off. I'll never forget the lady wanted a half a pound of pepperoni. No. See, that counts. That's... Sliced it off. Did you put it back? And it was like sliced off. It was so painful. I went to the hospital. I put it in iodine. It was, it stung so badly. And I still to this day... You can feel the dent. You also see the scar on it because like, like my fingertip doesn't have the fingerprints on it right here.

Oh, my God. Yeah. Well, that's a good way to. not get identified for the crime. Yeah. So I guess I fucked up there, I'm slicing my finger in the slicer. Yeah, no. But there's definitely,

I definitely have stories because I didn't always, like I definitely messed up somewhere in some way, shape or form. But I, I don't know. Yeah,

I would have been hesitant and putting clothes in the, in the microwave. I know. Microvenous thing. Because sometimes they have those, like, little like, yeah, those fibers in there.

I mean, you'd be plates sometimes spark. Yeah. It's insane that it was raining and it got evacuated and never run out to go outside. And HR sending that thing that say,

don't cook clothing is really, nice passive-aggressive little dig from HR. I love it. But that's, that is mortifying. Yeah. How do you come back from that? You feel like, I imagine this one felt like an idiot.

Hot socks forever. I thought you said she. You know, no mention. I don't know why I was picturing it being a woman. See, I was picturing it being a guy. Because I don't think a woman would be. You're right. That's definitely got guy written all over it.

I don't know why I thought it was a woman. This next one has guy written all over it too. Okay. This is coming from AIT-A-H, seven months old. I'm titled, Am I the Asshole for taking my brother-in-law to small claims court for a prank? I recently took my brother-in-law to small claims court over a prank he pulled on me, and now my wife and her family are furious. I need to know if I'm wrong here.

A few months ago, we were at a family barbecue. I had a few too many beers, and I fell asleep in a hammock with my shirt off. My brother-in-law, who was completely sober, thought it would be hilarious to fill my belly button with super glue. Oh, God. At some point, I must have touched it because when I woke up, I had glue partially dried in my belly button and on my finger. We tried to remove it, but it was stuck. The glue had adhered to my skin, and when we attempted to peel it off, it caused some tearing around the edges.

Unfortunately, my job's insurance has a $1,000 ER copay, but I had no choice. I had to go to the ER. They used a solvent and an ointment to remove the glue, and after everything, I was left with a medical bill of $2,253. Wow. I asked my brother-in-law to cover the cost since he caused the situation. Yeah. He refused.

After trying to resolve it privately, I took him to small claims court, and I won. However, he still hasn't paid. This has caused a major rift in my family. Wow. My wife is upset, and her family thinks I overreacted. So, am I the asshole for taking him to court over this? Um, his wife is upset at who? Him.

Wow. So he's, he's the villain in the scenario. He's the villain. I was going to say, like, why would court even be necessary? I just feel like if you had to go and you couldn't, you didn't have the means and you had to go get that bill, then your, then the brother-in-law should be like, oh, I, I done fucked up. You don't have the means and this is all because of me.

And I thought that they would pay. When you first just said the top line, am I the asshole who bringing my brother over a prank? I was like, yes, you are. Then the more I listened, let's be reasonable. I mean, like, it's like, you know, like they, this was their actions that caused it. You endured embarrassment, pain, a scar, and a bill that you couldn't afford. And then you appealed to them.

And there was nothing you could do to strike maybe a 50-50 split. I don't know. Yeah. No. But also that's, that's moronic, though. Like, what did they think, what did they think the net net was going to be putting super glue in someone's belly button? Super glue. yeah like that they're going to get that's not going to be an easy one oh so like that's also like that was it's not like you know they put like a tickled in their nose with a feather when they were

sleeping so the person like slapped their face it's like you like that was going to adhere to their skin from the get and everyone is mad at no one in that family on the other side sees any reason like there's not a it's not a distribution of fault if if anything everyone is just mad at this person yeah we do get a little bit more info on that. The reason my wife was upset is because her brother was going through a divorce and between jobs. Everyone knew he did it. He even admitted it. He blames his ADHD. I don't want to garnish his pay. The reason I didn't try more to clean the glue off of me was because I have scars in my navel from gallbladder surgery about three years ago. My mother-in-law has offered to pay the bill, but she is on a fixed income. And I would feel like an ass for taking

her money. Of course, I'm the villain, and only my sister-in-law is on speaking terms with me. My wife is only barely on my side. It was her that took me to the ER, not thinking it would cost that much. I figure blood is thicker than water. I didn't expect this thread to blow up. Whoa. Yeah. I mean, I would have also, like, did the ER have some magic solvent? I would have just went on Google first and been like, you know, crazy glue skin. What do I do? I'm not going to Google that. I'm, like, wondering, like... There's got to be some, like, home remedies and stuff. I mean, there's, like, 3M adhesive remover.

90 bucks from U-Line. I would have tried everything I could before going to the ER. But the bottom line is it's not that person's fault that they had to go to the ER. No. No. It's not. And I honestly think that... And to blame ADHD is a bonkers.

I don't even know what that means. Why would ADHD make you put, like, you know, crazy glue in your brother-in-law's belly button while he sleeps? I mean, you... Like, I've heard of procrastination. Yeah. You know, that's not one of the hallmark symptoms of ADHD. No. No, and I have it.

I'm like extreme impulsivity. I haven't. I've never even thought of that. No. Because we have brains. That's... The person's moronic. I mean, I mean, look, you can't start editorializing here.

Let's just talk about the facts. He did this to me. This was moronic to do. This person wasn't thinking. It caused me this. You can't start. like being like well he was in the middle of a divorce he's got this he's got what how does that excuse the behavior I wonder why he got divorced you know like I mean this person I just feel like

they make poor choices right I know I feel like I feel bad for this person because I feel like they're being villa if I was the brother-in-law I'd be like look it's going to take some time but I will pay this all off eventually hey like I mean we're adults here come on yeah start working towards what is the payment plan yeah that is reasonable enough for you to the right thing, and let's just start from there. We don't need to, like, cause a rift in the family here. No. This is bonkers.

I know. Yeah, well, that's crazy. So I feel for this person. Now, do they ever report back resolution? So we don't. You can't garnish the wages because at the end of the day, you got to be the bigger person. That that's, that's tough. You also have to front money you don't have.

Exactly. So, like, where is everybody else's empathy for you or sympathy for you? Yeah. You know? No update on this one. I don't see any comments from O.P. This is going to bother me personally. Because I'm going to now be thinking about this, like, what came of this?

Because I almost want to be like a, like, I almost want to be the representative of this person. Okay. I want to have like a, you know, an intervention. With the family. Yeah. And I want to just speak my mind because this person is getting the short end of the stick. I know. They really are.

The top comment does agree with you. Not the asshole. I can't believe your wife isn't with you on this. Yeah. Pranks shouldn't involve. the ER. Next comment, and thousands of dollars. Yeah. I feel like that's pretty straightforward. I don't know who would think otherwise, except the people in that family. It's weird. Yeah. It's super weird. But moving along to this next one. Yes. Okay, this is coming from... How am I doing?

You're doing great. You're doing great. I think you're nailing it. Very empathetic takes. Yeah. Coming out of from all angles. Yeah. I love it. I'm big on the imp. This episode is brought to you by skims. Unlike other sleep sets, the skims, the skims, sleep and soft lounge sets are as cute as they are comfortable. Your old pajamas just can't compete. That big t-shirt you've been wearing around for years cannot compete. Especially around the holidays when you're maybe with family and friends, but you still want to be comfy, skims has you covered. And if you're looking for a gift for someone, there's so many adorable prints and colors to choose from.

I got the red set. It's got a cute little reindeer pattern on it, and it is comfy. I'm actually going to gift everyone in my family a set and then get a really cute picture after. There's something for the whole family on Skims. My robe from last year, I still wear constantly. It's my go-to when I'm lounging around the house and want to blanket, but want to wear it. And Justin's robe has become a staple for him, too. So shop our favorite pajamas at skims.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the drop-down menu that follows. And if you're looking for the perfect gifts for everyone on your list, the Skims Holiday Shop is now open at skims.com. So this one is coming from R-slash A-I-T-H. It's five days old, titled, Am I the Asshole for Refusing to Stop Washing My Hands? Just because my coworker is sensitive to smells? I have this coworker who always says she's sensitive to smells. No one's allowed to wear deodorant, let alone perfume in the office because she throws a mini tantrum if she smells anything except clean, undiluted oxygen. Usually, she just complains to the boss. And then,

everyone gets a generic company-wide email saying we're a scent-free zone and blah, blah, blah. I roll everyone back to work. Now, she's been extra annoying these last few weeks. She keeps saying she smells perfume. No one will admit to wearing any. We get emails about office smells almost daily now, and nothing changes. So she's decided to take the law into her own hands, so to speak. Like two to three times a week, she starts walking up and down the aisles.

Oh, my God. Sticks her head into each person's desk. Oh, get out of here. Takes a big whiff and moves on to the next desk, all to try and find the culprit. On Friday, she did this again. I'd just come back from the bathroom when she got to my desk. She did her smell test on me and immediately lost it. Apparently, the perfume that she's been smelling the last few weeks was coming off of me.

After she made a scene in front of everyone, we determined what she was smelling was hand soap that I used in the bathroom. She wasted enough time of my day by that point I professionally told her to fuck off and I'm not going to stop washing my hands because she's a hypochondriac. The way I phrased it was like, quote, handwashing with soap is a non-negotiable hygiene practice and I will not stop doing it. You can't reasonably expect me to avoid that. this was Friday and now I'm dreading going back tomorrow our boss was off Friday as well so I expect I'm going to get pulled into a meeting am I the asshole or are these just the Sunday scaries okay so let me say this I am hypersensitive to smells are you yes and cologne and perfume give me like a like a migraine headache okay make me nauseous when they're really strong

you ever like walk into an elevator and like someone in here today yeah you know like it's when it's just too much. Or if I have a flight and the person next to me is really, like, loaded up or if I get in an Uber, I've gotten, I've gotten in Uber and like, I'm so sorry I have to cancel this Uber because I can't, because by the time it's not worth giving myself a migraine. I don't know if I'm allergic or something. No, a lot of people are sensitive like that, especially like smoke smell, like that's a really hard one.

I wasn't always my whole life. Well, smoke or like body odor is another whole other thing, but perfumes like can, you know, but I wasn't always like that, but like I am now. So I understand the plight of the other woman. Okay. But she's completely over-extending herself. It's wild to go around sniffing people. And again, I don't really understand how people just can't come to a very logical, simple conclusion

before, like, they get to this state at all. The woman's crazy for walking around smelling people and then making a huge to-do when she's located. It's not about her. No. She's not, everyone in the office doesn't have to bend to her. They shouldn't have to do anything that I want to. If they still want to wear their perfume, that's their prerogative. if she's kind about it and they want to oblige her because she presents it in a way that is amenable

and it's like motivates them to be like on her side and like you know what I can take this for the team for you like but that's not the way she's approaching this but I would even just have been like oh my god you know I'm I think you might have the scent of the hands open the bathroom on there obviously you have to wash your hands it would you be okay if I bought the soap of your choice that's unscented, and I'll put that in the bathroom, like, whatever you like. Yeah. And this way we both, you know, it's a win-win. You know, like, there's ways around these things.

Yeah. Well, and clearly the office is trying to accommodate her. I mean, they send out emails worth a scent-free zone, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, the office is kind of catering to this person. So I feel like... But this feels like an HR overreach. Yeah. It feels like a bit of a Karen situation.

It's starting to feel a bit like harassment, especially her going, death. desk to desk. Like, if my... I would be like, I would be like, hey, listen, man. Like, you gotta stop. I'm smelling something too

and it's fucking crazy. I'm smelling some crazy. Maybe it's you. Can you imagine? I'm just envisioning her, and I know she's probably not doing this, but I'm just envisioning her like going up to these people and like lifting their arm

and like smelling their armpits to be like, you're wearing deodorant's crazy. That. That's crazy. You'd rather... It's not like a peanut allergy. No. Where there's peanuts in the air and like someone could die.

You'd rather smell people's body odor than deodorant. Right. That's crazy. No, no. There's something about like deodorant lately and maybe it's because we were traveling, but like not enough people are using deodorant. I know. What is up with that? I'm always shocked when I smell someone that doesn't smell good because I'm like, you have to know. I don't know how because when I start to smell like I can tell. You immediately know. I'm like, I need to go home. And you get it. Gross. Yeah, right. I mean, maybe someone like can't do anything about it. They're out and about and they've already gone whatever the job whatever the hell they did but like but sometimes it's just a person who wasn't working out that smells horribly and you just like you can't even speak to

them i don't think some people believe in deodorant i know but they got to do something something that that is that's that's that's that's terrible i mean that's yeah i mean i know i know because it's i feel like i'm imprisoned like if you get into a taxi or something again it smells and You're like, I have hung my head out the window like a dog. No. I just a whole entire ride like this. And I can't, I don't try and try and insult anybody. But I, I've gotten to the point, I have a weak constitution.

So I've got, like, I, my stomach is like, I will throw up. I get, if I'm grossed out, I will at least dry heave. And it only takes a few dry heaves for before a full vom, I think. You know, so like, I don't want to. What? Yeah. Oh my God. You're a person with a metaphobic.

is, like, biggest fear. What? A metaphobia means... Isn't that the one where they're scared of puking? Puking? Yeah. I'm not scared of puking. No, clearly.

No, but, yeah, like, someone who is scared of puking. Yeah. No, but, like, my friends sometimes try to gross me out just because they get me going, oh, uh, oh. Yeah. So, like, I, it's like, I don't even want to be mean, but I almost can't hide my disgust. No. I've done like this and, like, right?

And, like, right? And, like, I leaned out the window like this is like, once I'm in, like, and I can't do anything about it. When you feel trapped. I have to take into my own hands and do whatever I can. So I really do understand this woman, but it's like, she's being unreasonable. You have to draw the line at some point. Being unreasonable.

Top comment, not the asshole. If there's an issue with the scent of the soap, whoever stalks it will have to get unscented soap. There it is. Although at this time, I'd say your workplace is justified in requiring medical documentation. Otherwise, it's time for you and your coworkers to file a complaint of harassment and her creating a- They try you.

A hostile workplace. Next one down. If she actually had a problem with the soap, wouldn't she have smelled it herself when she washed her own hands after using the restroom? The plot thickens. Yeah, she's using the same soap. Or does this person not wash her hands? Nope.

Nope. That's what the next comment thinks. Bold of you to assume she washes her hands. That's disgusting. Yeah, that is. That's another epidemic. People do not wash their hands. I'd walk around smelling hands for the ones that don't smell like the soap and I'd HR them.

That's a thought. You know? Watching people walk out of the bathroom. See it all the time. No. I'm in airports all the time. So I'm in there. And I got to tell you, a surprisingly high number percentage of people do not wash their hands.

Well, I think it's like. That's why when I walked up and shook your hand. I was shocked. I had just washed my hands by the way. Same. I just, yeah, same. I came where I came from. Every time I'm done with something, I wash my hands, you know? And I have the stuff, the anti-back.

I got a big guy over there, just ready. And so I was fine to, but I will wash my hands. Yeah. Well, I know you're like a, like you're kind of a germaphobe. It's not when I'm meeting someone like you, one-on-one, we're about to sit down and have a conversation. Yeah. But people approach me all day long and put out their hand.

And if I shake 20, 30 hands a day, I'll get sick. Honestly, so here's a stat that might not make you want to shake any more hands. If you shake someone's hand or like just like touching doorknobes or whatever throughout your day, you're, like, on average, touching 10 dicks a day. Yes. Because people don't wash their hands. If I touch one person's hand, it's 10 dicks. Or just, like, going about your day.

Like, if you touch a doorknob, like, someone could have touched their dick. Doorknob, definitely, I could see 10 dicks. Yeah. But one person's hand, one dick. How about this? I wash my hands before I use the bathroom and then again right after. Because I don't want to touch, I don't want my dick to touch 10 dicks. That's the thing.

But no, but people wash after. I'm like, hello? Some people don't, though. You got to wash before and after. I literally have a family member, and he is like, no, I don't wash my hand after. I just touched myself. Like, that's fine. And I'm like.

Yeah, but you got to touch somebody else out to that. Yeah, no, they don't get it. I love, by the way, that's static. How do you, what's the scientific estimation for 10 dicks on the doorknop? I'm going to look it up. That's so funny to me. That's so funny. Ten is, it's such a specific number.

I think it was 10. It's so funny. And I want to know the formula. I want to know the formula. It's someone used to get that on average. There's a bunch of different things coming up that says it's actually more. It's actually you come into contact with 15 penises. How do you estimate that?

But I will tell you this too. Once I wash my hands, I take the paper towels and I open the door with that paper towel and then I throw it away. Especially on planes. Of course. And I also make sure everyone sees me coming out doing that. No, same. I have a combine and I open it. I like open it all the way.

And then you like, yeah. And then I just like throw it in there and like hold it open my foot. Yeah. And because I want someone to extend the same courtesy. Like I want, you know, yeah. I'm with you. I'm glad about that. Yeah.

I was a flight attendant for a while. And like the amount. Oh, wow. I could never, ever. I hate flying. I don't know. I'm terrified of flying. And people are like, Morgan, how you were, how were you a flight attendant?

I'm like, I don't know. I think it was like, it's kind of like car anxiety. I have really bad car anxiety. But if I'm driving, I'm fine. I was kind of like that. Like, I know I'm not flying the plane. but you're just kind of like in more control. But the amount of people that walk into those bathrooms on planes without shoes on,

it is atrocious. And you guys know that's not water on the floor, right? That's piss. Yeah. That is piss on the floor. I don't even when I go, I don't, first of all, I won't go unless it's an emergency situation. Really? And if I go to like a regular bathroom, like in a public, wherever a public space, you know, at the urinal,

I don't know if you know this, but you look down there's a puddle in front of every urinal. That's one, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's a, that's a, that's a concoction. That's a caccon. That's, that's, that's just everyone's piss in a puddle. And I go, I put my legs apart further than shoulder with my feet. So I am not in, I don't touch any of the piss if I can help it. Yeah. My shoes have never, ever, ever been on in my home in my life. Yeah. No, that's good. And, um, there's just piss everywhere. And I, I, I've seen this happen. I, I've seen this, I've seen people go in there and I almost convuls. yeah who raise them what are their concerns how are they how are they walking into a piss riddled bathroom in their socks this was like and then those socks go in the shoe and then those shoe those inside of those shoes always have everyone's piss in them and then you go home you change socks you put them right in those people's piss are with you for life i'll never forget this girl she had ugs on like the ugs you slip your feet into she took her ugs off walked into the bathroom and then came back to her seat and put her feet back in her uggs.

Oh, my God. What the fuck? It's sickening. It's sickening. As a flight attendant, I have two questions. Okay. And this is one I always wonder because I don't think it's real. I think it's fake and I don't really believe that anyone's ever done it.

Do you feel like someone has actually been in the mile high club? Yeah. How is it physically? They try it. But, okay, so a couple things. What is your responsibility if you think that's happening? and have you ever experienced anything like that? I didn't.

I think you're like you're supposed to knock on the door and get them out. Also like a flight attendant can open that locked bathroom door from the outside. You don't want to open an accident scenario. But like how do they try? Like one person goes in and it's maybe like a late night flight. This is the only way I can think of it. And then another person goes up. I'll be in like 30.

Like one minute I'll go in. And then everyone's kind of dark. Everyone's sleeping. And then they both go in. But then it's so small in there. And then you both got to come out. And also if anybody recognizes you have to sit. the rest of the plane ride, either being scolded or reprimanded or called out or people knowing

you did that. I just can't see who would ever pull that off. And so they wouldn't get in any type of bigger trouble than just, excuse me, you have to get out. I feel like you could get banned from the airline. Right. I never encountered it. And honestly, have you ever, do you know a flight attendant that's encountered it? No. And it's not something we talked about. We didn't talk about it in training. But I feel like there's like those airlines now that are coming out with like, like the crazy ones where it's like 20,000 a ticket and you get your own bed and like a couch. If I'm flying to Dubai and I have a shower

and I think then it's like a soon. It's like a hotel room. Yeah. You know? So I think people are doing it in those for sure. I think that's a little different even though it's still weird. People try it though. People like use autopilot and have sex driving their car. People are getting weird. I didn't know that either. I never thought of that.

Yeah. And then what about like when just somebody blows up that bathroom and you're that's where you sit? Yeah, no, that's. You dealt with that. That has to be like every other flight now. Yeah, because I was on the jump seat. We have spray.

A lot of times it wouldn't help. So you try to like smell a coffee. Does everybody just like look? Does everyone just look the other way? Do you like, is it like you don't even want to be? It's just kind of a thing. You just make believe nobody makes, everybody just makes believe that like that they don't, they don't acknowledge. Yeah, like everyone poops.

So it's just kind of one of those things that you just got to kind of get through. Okay. Yeah. That's so something I think about all the time. Have you never poop on a plane? No, no, I'm not in my life ever, nor will I. What? Nor will I.

I will never, ever my life. What if you have a really long flight? It's going to be whatever I need to do to not go to that restroom, ever. I won't do it. I won't think I'll be able to do it. I mean, I understand if an emergency situation, luckily I've never been in a thing where it's like, it's either in my seat right now or in there. I suppose in that scenario, but I would also try some, I don't know what I would do. I'd maybe say a rosary or something.

I'm not particularly related. I'm not particularly religious, but I don't know what I would do. But I can't even imagine sitting, hovering. I can't imagine, like, people outside knowing that's what's going on in there. I don't want to be the person that walks out after that. I just, I wouldn't put my body, my skin anywhere near that area. It's just not going to happen. My husband over there now is so fucking weird to say.

He, I don't know if he's going to be mad at me for sharing this, but he just poop. He's right there. You can clear it with him first, but you choose and not to. I'll just call that out. He just pooped for the first time on a plane like a month ago. Okay. Okay. Was it horrifying or was it not bad?

It was great. I'm a few times in now. No way. He's down. He likes it. No way. It was great because of the relief. Because prior to that, you would suffer.

Well, and there was a little turbulence. So I felt like I was on a Disney ride at one point. My stomach kind of went up and felt like I was floating. Oh, my God. And I was like, this is incredible. Also, the actual biological, physical sense. sensation was heightened. Yeah, because of the plane. And now you're chasing that thigh.

Now you're chasing it. It feels different at 30,000 fields. Yeah, like you're leaving for the airport. You're like, I'll wait until I get there. Wow. So now, but okay, so if it was only recently, why did you abstain forever? Why did you abstain? Yeah, that's a good question. Like, so, because like, what are your reasons that you never did it? And now what, now that you've seen the light, now that you, like, you've done it multiple times already.

now. So, like, what were the reasons you didn't do it prior to, like, only reason? I don't really know. Maybe some of the same concerns you had. So when you were walking in for this first one, did you feel like, you know, I have no choice. I'm going to do this for the first time. I don't know what to expect right now, but I feel vulnerable or I feel weird. And, you know, like, here we go. Well, to alleviate some of the concern, I did it on a plane where there were two dedicated bathrooms right across the aisle from each other. Or there's a plane with two aisles, a big plane.

Okay. Yeah, because he didn't want someone to be waiting for him outside that door. Right. Knowing that he proved. Like the Starbucks bathroom, the single bathroom thing, never. Right. Especially when there's a line, can you imagine? Sure.

No chance. Yeah, you don't know what you're opening that door back up to, though. Three or four people are congregated there. Well, and your clock starts to tick faster when you're inside a bathroom or you know people are waiting outside. Yeah. It starts to speed up. Because you're like, oh, God, I've been in here for five minutes.

Right. I've been here for 10 minutes. 10 is an eternity. If someone's waiting, it's an eternity. He sits on the toilet wait too long. I want to be honest. At home, I do too, though. That's where I get my reading done.

Sometimes I sit on the toilet, don't go. You're going to get hernius. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. But like, but 10 minutes, I mean, everyone knows what you did. Yeah, well, you probably didn't end up doing it because you're too in your head about everyone waiting. Yeah. But now you feel completely liberated now.

You have no bones about it. You got to go. You're going right in. I probably 50-50. Okay, okay. I don't think anyone could be fully comfortable. I have a trick for you in this next story. Okay.

They're introducing us to something that might help you poop on a plane, okay? Oh. It's not going to happen, but all right. Okay. So this one is coming from Today I Fucked Up, 11 days old, titled Today I Fucked Up by mooing on the toilet and discovering it actually works. Mooring. Mooring. I know you know a thing about a cow because you have inseminated one.

Oh, I delivered a baby. Oh, you delivered. Yeah. Yeah, you were fully up there. Yeah, up to my shoulder. I was in it. Yeah, so you know about a moo. Yeah. I, 36 female, had a hysterectomy last week, and surgically is basically just finding out how many ways your body can betray you.

Sneezing feels like being stabbed. Coughing is a crime against humanity and pooping. L.O.L. Good luck. So I'm up late Googling tips because I'm desperate. And I find this random comment where someone goes, quote, Just moo like a cow. It relaxes your pelvic floor. I rolled my eyes so hard.

You want to moo, don't you? I was lightly mooing. Let's hear it. Moo. Did you feel anything? Moo. I suppose. Okay.

The next morning, I'm on the toilet, sweating, bargaining with the universe. Just clip to moo. And thought. For the socials. Just three seconds. Moo. That's it. Two hot takes.

And I thought, fine, let's moo. And I did. Like a legit, deep from the chest, Moo! And it worked immediately. Like my body just went, ah, yes, cow mode engaged. Anyways, here's where I really fucked up. My husband was literally walking past the bathroom as I was mid-moo. He opened the door. We don't usually lock it and just caught me. We made eye contact. I froze, he froze, and then I absolutely lost it laughing. Except laughing after abdominal surgery. Oh, God. Feels like being ripped open from the inside.

So now I'm sitting there on the toilet, crying, clutching my stomach, half laughing, half mooing, while my poor husband is staying there like, what the actual hell did I just walk into? He didn't know whether to comfort me, call 911, or just back out slowly and pretend that none of it happened. So yeah, today I fucked up by mooing on the toilet and learning it actually. actually works, but also permanently scarring my marriage in the process. That's so funny. I've never heard that before at all. You're going to try it the next time, though.

Well, I don't know if I'd feel like what she, because it's not going to be necessarily alleviating anything. So I don't know if I have a, you know what I mean? Like a point of reference to understand that it's working. You'd have to be like really backed up and that's like your last resort. And then if it works, then you know. That is, who even discovered that? I don't know.

That's funny. But I like it. Top comment, girl, I'm dying. I couldn't help myself. I tried a deep moo, and I could feel my pelvic floor relax. And my man, one room over yelled, why are you mooing? Oh, that's, I mean, I can't imagine not one of your listeners. Every last person is going to move next time they go now.

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Tulsa King. We want to take out the competition. The substance. This balance is not working. And the naked gun. That was awesome. Now that's a mountain of entertainment. Okay, are you ready to get into the tea of two hot takes?

Let's do it. I've been like a little light on you. Hot goss? Yeah, a little bit. This next one is coming from our. very own subreddit. So because of the show now, we have a place where we kind of take a listener write-ins. So this is from one of us. It is a day old titled, My Fiance Edits Me Out of Our Vacation Photos. I, 29 female, have been with my fiancé, 31 male, for four years. We love traveling,

taking photos, making memories. Recently, we went on a week-long trip to the mountains with some friends. When we got back, I started going through our photos. noticed something weird. In a bunch of the group shots, I wasn't there, but I know I was. I asked him about it. He admitted that when he saw a picture where he didn't like how I looked, bad hair, tired face, etc., he used his phone's editor to crop me out or replace me with a view of the background. He said he did it so the trip looked cleaner, so the pics would look nice on social media without me standing there. off balance, et cetera. What?

The pics would look cleaner and she wouldn't be saying there off balance. Sorry to interrupt, continue. I told him that hurt me, that I want authentic memories, even if I'm not glam in all of them. He said I'm too sensitive and that photos are just illusions anyways. Now I don't know if I trust memories with him. Is it weird to feel like I'm erased? I would file for divorce.

There's no coming back. What a, what a, what a weird, like, it sounds like this person has issues. Yeah. Does he do that with him? With his own photos? No, he just picks the one where he looks the best. So he's worried of people judging his wife. Who's going to do that?

Or he's worried of people judging him for his wife, removing her from photos because he wants to post him on social media and thinks she doesn't look acceptable enough in the photo for for the viewing public. That's what it's good. There's a lot going on to unpack there. There's a lot to unpack there. Top comment has some thoughts. Okay.

Top comment says he's single online. Like basically he's trying to look single online. Well, does he put, does he do it with every photo he posts? It sounds like he doesn't do it with every photo, but it doesn't matter. Like that is problematic behavior.

That is very weird. That's a person that is, I'm telling you that's a person that I mean that could be a serial killer that guy that's insane that is so highly insulting well and what he said too

it's like I edit you out when you look like shit when your hair is bad your face is tired you could say to me hey on I want to post this cool and let her decide like yeah I don't care

oh actually I don't like that don't post that one yeah you need to post the one where I don't look good so you need to edit me out and put more a mountain in the background? That's insulting and weird. Well, and is he doing it to anyone else in the photos?

Or is it only his partner? It sounds like it's only her, which is like, that's the craziest thing I've ever heard. To like take it upon himself to deem when his wife looks presentable or not enough for whom. Why do you care? And he didn't tell her also. I know.

That's weird, that he's been doing it for how long. and then she had to approach him about it. And then the reason he gives also is paper is absurd. I want it to look nice. Meaning that it doesn't look nice if I'm in it and you don't like the way that I look. If I look, did they say if I look, what would she say? If I look like. Just bad, like bad hair, tired face.

He did it so the trip looked cleaner. That's so stupid. What does that mean? How did the trip look cleaner if one person are moving? for it because they look tired. That's so... I'm getting angry. I'm getting angry right now. I just don't understand. I'm like, what is wrong with you? Well, and there's no way everyone looks good. How well does she know this? They're married for four years? Fiancé, been together for four years. You're with someone for four years and they're... About to get married. They're photoshopping you

out of photos when they think you look tired because they don't want that to be seen by the people and they're not telling you that. That is a... Still time. There's still time to get out of that. I would get out of that. I can't make an excuse for this person. No, I mean, he's 31. He's old enough to... 31 is...

Believe me, I would try to play devil's advocate here. I got nothing for this guy. I got nothing. No, I don't either. That is very strange behavior. Well, to me, I'm like, he's trying to hide something. Like, there's people that do that. They, like, want to look better on social media.

But then he's like, what did he say? Like, social media is fake or something along those lines. Pictures are an illusion or something like that? Photos are just an illusion. This person's full of shit. Well, why not keep me in it then? Can't be trust. Can't be trust. Yeah, like, right.

Why not post only the solo shots of you? But what does that even mean? It's an illusion. What are you talking? That's coming and just, I mean, what the fuck are you talking about? I don't know. That's weird. Look, if he doesn't put her up at all, it's simple.

He's cheating on her. He wants people to know he's single. That's easy. But it doesn't sound like it's. all the time because she's she noticed that she was missing in some right yeah so this is like maybe someone who i i don't know to be if you're that ashamed of your wife that's that's crazy no and what happens like as you go through life like what like what happens if they're together and they decide they want kids and she gains a little weight and like oh are you photoshopping

yourself out of photos where everyone else looks good and and and and when you look tired Also, that's still weird behavior. Like, it's like, I can't, this is, and the female is writing in on this? Is there a follow-up here? You're going to, you know what you're going to do? You're going to leave me with a nervous tick. I'm going to leave here, and I'm not, I'm never going to forget these situations. I need closure on these things.

I don't have any comments yet, no update. It's only a day old. I need closure. And they don't say anything. We just know she's 29F. Nothing yet, yeah. I'll let you know, though, if I get an update. I'll send it your way.

Oh, but this was sent to you. It's on our subrub. And so this is something coming from a listener or a viewer. Very likely. And so they're going to see this. Again, so there's possible possibility for closure here. Please message out. Oh, so if you're looking, 29F, look at me.

This is not normal behavior. You have to take this up with them and you have to get to the bottom of this. And you should, you should not stand for this. No. It's very, very weird. Now, I'm private. So I don't post my family online. But that's not what this is.

No. It's not what this is. No, he's posting all of his friends. He's posting stuff from his personal life. Yeah. But editing out the one person who seemingly should matter most. Yeah. I mean, there's another comment here.

There's no innocent explanation for editing your fiancé out of photos. That's not about aesthetic. It's about hiding their relationship. Huge red flag. Yeah. And then there's another one that says, it would be a pity if they got married and she has a zit and was edited out of all the wedding photos. After she's 30 or 40 and gets wrinkles, is she banned from photos?

Looks like the fiancee needs an inflatable doll, not a human. I agree. There's going to be wedding photos or just him. Yeah. If he doesn't like the way she looks in a certain photo. It is giving a little self-centered. I feel like all of with all of these things, like we're not given, I'm not given any hot takes. You're just on. I feel like a hot take, by definition, isn't a hot take like something that goes a little bit against the grain? I feel like I'm being the voice of reason. I feel like I'm giving an ice cold or a lukewarm take. You know, maybe this next one will throw a wrench in your

in your brain. I don't think in any of these I've been like, I'm on the side of the I mean, you said you can't devil's advocate this one. Maybe the next one I've thought you can devil's advocate. You know, maybe it is just a joke. You ready for this next one? Okay. Okay.

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It's got a not safe fur work badge on it. Okay. Again, coming from our very own two hot takes subreddit five days old, titled, My Boyfriend Cheated in Front of Me, but claims he was just joking. Jesus Christ. This podcast is making me feel better about myself.

That's the goal. Okay. How's the goal here? I'm like, I'm a great person. Me, female 21, and my boyfriend. I'll call him Ryan, male 21. Why call him Ryan? That's so funny.

She doesn't get her name? No. Me, F21, my boyfriend, Ryan. Ryan. Okay. We were at a college party together two nights ago. Just for context. How old is Ryan?

21. Okay. Just for context, me and Ryan have been dating for two months. And there were around. 100 people at the party. I was having fun drinking and hanging out with my friends, but over did it a little and felt dizzy. I asked Ryan to sit down with me on the couch while I drank some water. He said, sure. While we were sitting, Ryan's best friend, I'll call him Jake, came over and was talking to Ryan. I don't know how we got to the topic, but Jake dared Ryan to suck his dick. They both were

laughing and looked at me for a reaction. I still didn't feel good, and I thought they were just goofing around, so I just sat there listening. It's not. I could have never imagined you were about to say that. Go ahead. Ryan then said, quote, okay then, I'll do it. Jake unzipped his pants, and Ryan started sucking his dick.

Are we, I think, are we being trolled in the subreddit? Like, let's see you read this one? I will investigate. No, I'm going to look at the account. There isn't enough. I'm almost about to explode on camera. I'm going to need so many details. I have so many questions that are not going to be able to be answered. I've seen a pattern. And I'm going to leave here now. I'm feeling better about myself, but I'm going to leave here. I'm going to leave here like also like with something boiling under my blood because I don't understand these people.

It only lasted for a few seconds. They both laughed and high five. And then Jake... And then Jake zipped his pants up and walked away. I was so stunned and disoriented in the moment. I didn't say or do anything. Soon afterwards, we went home and I immediately went to bed. Yesterday, I woke up and remembered what happened and asked Ryan why he would do that. He said it was just guys being guys and doing silly party dares.

It's just, it's so irrational. even that response back These are Think let's say this conversation Let's play this conversation out Ask me I'm I'm Ryan You're 21F

Okay It's the next day Yeah Approach me about it Why did you suck your friend's dick What do you mean? I saw you you sucked his dick Yeah but that's just guys doing

Guys being guys doing fun party things It sounds like you're gay Who speaks like that Who would be like it's just guys being guys Doing fun party things Is that what you said, fun party things? Doing silly party dares. Silly party dares.

Who speaks like that? What do you mean? It's a silly party dare. Sal, I'm going to, I'm going to get through this story. And then I'm going to ruin your life. I sucked my friend's dick because it was a silly party dare. It's guys being guys. You never heard of silly party dares?

So, Opie goes on to say, I mentioned that it felt like cheating in a way. And he said I was overreacting because it was just a joke. He seemed annoyed and shut down the conversation. Oh, my God. Now he's taking this. Go ahead. I'm home now and I don't know how to feel. I'm not even mad.

I'm just so confused about what to make of this. I haven't told my friends about this yet because I feel kind of embarrassed. Any advice would be helpful because I'm just not sure what to do. Okay. First of all, this is two months in, abort. You're out of this one. And relationship. You're out of this one.

If this is real, the only thing that I could surmise is that her boyfriend is maybe bisexual and is trying to look for an in-way to let her know that. Maybe his best friend is more than his best friend. Yeah, that's what I'm getting. And this is like, all right, let's, when we're all feeling loosey-goosey, let's, but wait a minute, there was a hundred people there. Sounds like a frat party. Like, I was picturing frat party in college, like at some of the ones I went to.

I'd like to know what the other 97 people, how they reacted. Like, that's still not normal behavior. Even at a frat party, you're not like, best friend, blow me, silly a party games. I mean, they were definitely like hookup rooms in college at the parties, like. Yeah, but that's a, that's an offshoot. Yeah. These people are in the lobby here. They're in the main room.

I was envisioning offshoot because she felt kind of dizzy. So I was envisioning, she like, kind of was like, can we just like go get some air? Can we do this? So the three of them went to an offshoot room. Yeah. It's just the three of them. That's what I'm envisioning. So how is that a silly party?

Silly party trick? Dare. How is it a silly party dare now when you're one-on-one with somebody? I don't know. It's not like the room's watching. I'm like, I'm going to, for the sake of this, I'm going to be this outrageous because I'm going to make this whole entire place go nuts and it's crazy. No, you're in a room, an offshoot room. And you're like, watch this silly party dare. While you're half in the bag, by the way, this is going to be a silly part. Who's it? Who's silly? Who's daring? I'm going to be honest. Like, I don't understand it, but like I know people are messed up. So this is pulling from the vault of this show, that is my brain. This is a story, not this. There was a story

I read a couple years ago now, and it was coming from the Ask Me Anything subreddit. And it was a post that was verified by the moderators of the sub. And it was a post that was titled, I've had a sexual relationship with my mom, ask me anything. And the kid, now guy. But how do they verify? Verify what? So, how could they verify that's true? So the person was a part of a study by this psychologist. The moderators of Reddit got in touch with a psychologist and verified the story. Isn't there HIPAA though? If like the patient signs off on it.

So I think like they connected with the mods. Like either way it was verified. It's still up. Like Reddit has like strict guidelines about fake stuff typically. And they verified this. And this person basically tells a story of like when I was 16 or 17, I broke both arms. I was super frustrated and mean to my parents. So my mom started jacking me off.

And there's stories like that that like are real. Is that legal? Probably, yeah. Oh my God. So it's like their stories like that. Wait, I'm sorry, but he broke both arms and was mean to his mom. He was mean. He was just like very sexually frustrated. Why did she start doing that to her son?

I know. I'll send you the link if you want to read it. I don't know. I don't know if I want. I want to. It seems like a leap, though. Like, what about making him some food, putting his feet up? I mean. Lending him an ear. Like, I wouldn't be my first thought. Being real mean to me. I know you don't have both arms. Let me just, let me just do this. Her husband, dad was aware of it. No. And it progressed. It got further than just hand jobs. It was really bad. Oh, well, then they're, okay, so they're not a well family, unfortunately. No. Okay. So the explanation there is that they're all unwell. So, like, I mean, I find this, like, I know, you know, Reddit can obviously have fake stories, but like, I genuinely, after seeing all I've seen over the past couple years, nothing surprises you. No, I could see this happening. Yeah, because it's, but it's not just like a, they've done it before. Oh, yeah.

You're not two best friends that are alone in an offshoot room and you're like, here's a silly little dare. No. Let me suck you off. And then, by the way, the friend to be like, yeah, got to do it. High five. It's like, no, you do this. Yeah. This is like how you are, this is how you were introducing it to her.

And it feels like they were trying to test boundaries and be like, if she would have been into it, I feel like they would have been like threesome. You want to go to Paris? Right. Like, what do we, what are we talking about here? Right, right. Like, I feel like it was definitely a test. Yeah.

Wow, I can't believe I got that. Oh my God. That was a joke about the thing they called an Einful Tower. Yeah. So like on both ends, you high five. thing. I only vaguely knew what that, I only kind of, you know, I heard that before. And I can't believe I made the connection. But that was a real, was that an easy connection to make? Was that like an obvious joke? I don't, is that something you said before, want to go to

is that something that they say, want to go to Paris? I feel like, I feel like that's just kind of like a younger guy thing. I feel like a hip that I got. Are you with it? Yeah. But I, but it, but it, but it, it, it, I took a minute. I'm like, no, you got it. I saw the wheels turning. Yeah. So I feel like this is just testing of boundaries. They want to be a thruple or something. Yeah, yeah.

The way he reacted to being confronted with it is weird. Which makes me think he's like dealing with some feelings. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so, and the question is, is she the, no, this doesn't ask me anything. No, what is this one? It was just like any advice would be helpful. I'm not sure what to do. I haven't talked to my friends because I feel kind of embarrassed.

Okay. Someone in the comments mentioned what we just mentioned, that they were testing boundaries and the person is probably, you know, bisexual and wants to see if she's cool with that? Top comment. Not a silly dare. And your boyfriend is not straight, L.O.L. Okay. Does she write back? Let's see if we have any comments from O.P. O.P. Original poster. Okay. That's what we call them on this side of things.

Well, he was trying to see if she was down with OPP. We do have some comments. Do you know that song by Nordy by Nature, OPP?P. No, that one, zing. Oh, okay. You down with OPP, P, yeah, you know me. No. You know the song, the group, Nottie by Nature, hip-hop group from the 90s? Okay.

They had a hip-hop, hooray, ho. Ghetto Baster. There's a big, that was their first big hit. Okay. And you down with OPP, yeah, you know me, stands for other people's property. Or other people's penis or pussy is what it was. It was dirty, but that was a clean version of it. And so O.P.

And so I just made a little, I made a fun little, like, a reference. Yeah, that was good. Now that I understand. I was throwing one back at you. I had to hear the Paris one. Zing. Yeah. So, Opie goes, we have talked about sexuality before.

I'm by. And he was very clear that he was straight and not interested in men. I guess that makes this feel confusing. I'm reading all the comments as they come in. I feel a little better hearing others say that this was cheating and I'm not overreacting. He really made me feel like I was being ridiculous. What I had to say to her is that two months in, and my advice would be taking from the three of them, bye, bye, bye, I would end it. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. This is confirmed that there was a frat party. Ryan and Jake are in the same fraternity. We all do marching band, and they're in the music frat. I don't know music frats were a thing. I didn't know it, yeah. Well, they're marching to their own drumsticks. we get an update

you have one yeah oh finally if you're watching and you're a fan of the show do us a favor please we need closure on these things so always send an update even if it's not what we want to hear or it's not the like the last update continually update yeah because it's only fair you know we're putting this out there we're all listening

we're all consuming this and we'd like a beginning and middle and end to these things I mean I don't know if I'm speaking at a turn. No. But I'm just trying to do this for your own audience. People love an update. I actually just did a whole episode that basically all had updates. So next time you're on, I will make sure that every single story has an update.

Just to, you know, deliver. I'm not trying to give you extra work, but. No, it's easy. It's easy. So update. I broke up with Ryan. He was really annoyed at me and doubled down that he is just a funny guy who goofs around with his friends like that.

I didn't want to argue too much. just insisted that we're done dating. Thanks to everyone who left helpful comments. I was so shocked and in my head about the situation, I guess I wasn't thinking big picture. I don't want to even try working things out with a cheater. Also, I have an appointment this week to get STI tested. I'm strict about using protection.

And this story is the only evidence I have of cheating, but I want to be really safe just in case. Thank you to everyone who posted a funny comment. I'll admit, some of you made me laugh. Some of my friends are on their way over for a boxed girls' wine night. After I debrief them on the breakup, I'll have to show them this post in some of the comments. It's better to laugh than cry, L.O.L. She seems well adjusted.

STI is, what is that? A sexually transmitted infection. Oh, okay. STD. STI. Well, STD, I know. And I knew what she was getting at, but I never heard STI. They've updated the term.

Oh, yeah, because disease is a little bit. Yeah, like an STI. Yeah, that should be what it is. Yeah. Come in. I agree with that change. Going with the times. Yeah.

Okay. Before you see more, Tonka Jihari, I mean, Sal. We're giving you guys a little bonus story. So an extra story thanks to Ollie wellness. We've been talking about women's health and wellness a little bit more. And something I want to touch a little bit more on is libido, which is why I've got Justin here. My hubby. Hubby?

I don't know. We haven't tried that yet. Yeah, we haven't tried that yet. But I feel like something that you can get a little lost in the sauce on is like you can slip into roommate mode or you're just not lining up when like I want it, you're falling asleep. And when you're ready, I'm not in the mood. I'm just not feeling it as much. So that is where Ollie's love and libido comes in. It's formulated with traditional ingredients like Ashwaganda to help boost desire, enhance arousal and even support satisfaction. So we're going to get into this story and see how intimacy can be a little touch and go sometimes. times, but a little effort can go a long way. And I'm really going to need your inputs and hacks to you guys. I saw them for the period towel time convo and it was so good. You guys had such good tips and recommendations. So I'm going to need a lot of input on this one too. Okay, so this is coming from relationship advice, eight months old, titled, I 28 female want so badly for my libido to

increase for my boyfriend, 29 male. What can I do? Okay. What it says in the title. I would love to have such a high libido because I enjoy having sex so much when we have it. But the thought of having it, when we're not in the physical act, I just cannot be bothered. I am super attracted to him and I love him more than anything. So the relationship is not to blame. It's literally just me. What can I do to increase, please? Supplements, reading spicy books. If so, what ones? I'm open to anything. I want to have sex. with him all the time. Please help. You're just smiling at me. What are your thoughts? I don't know. I just feel like I can relate to both sides.

Oh my gosh. Yeah. It would certainly be frustrating that when you want to, you just can't mentally get there or it just feels like, oh, it sounds really great, but man, you have to do so much to get there. And it's a lot of work. You've got to check in. I'm tired.

I'm hungry. I have to do this. It's like you can almost work against yourself in that way. Yeah. Well, and I think like for me, we just ran into this the other night and I told you you needed to amp up the razzle dazzle. I don't know where this came from you guys. I was like, you know, a little razzle dazzle, Justin, a little this, a little that. Because you almost need like a little bit of initiation sometimes from your partner to like get you in the mood.

Like, I feel like you need to just, like, get a little butt squeeze or a little come up behind and feel me up. And, like, I need that to almost be like, oh, okay, get out of your head, get into the mood, get in that mindset. And, like, obviously, that's not going to work every time. But I think sometimes you can just, like, get so, like, comfortable with, like, just kind of this, like, norm. Roommate mode is easy to fall into, especially us. like we got so busy with wedding planning and then getting back and cleaning and getting life together. It's like it can be easy to slip into that and just like not even tune into yourself, your body, your desires and like what you want. It's like this person wants it. She's just like,

but like my libido, which is where something like Ollie, love and libido could come in. I've been trying it here and there for the past week just to see what the deal is. And I don't know if Ollie's going to like me using this word, but like, at least for me, like, I've felt like a bit hornier, and they're, Ollie, I'm so sorry, Ollie. What? Hornier, is the word? Hornier. Yeah, sure.

Okay, I will say, you guys, I tried to find a synonym and the other synonyms, synonyms that come up are aroused and Randy. So I think. Randy. My choice was better. What are you doing, Randy? What are you doing Randy? but I just think it's something that is worth a shot.

No one wants to feel disconnected from their partner and, like, intimacy can be a big part of people's relationships. We do have some really good comments on this one as well, and I know you guys are going to show up and add more. This person goes, I used to struggle with pretty much non-existent libido, and here's what works for me. Less stress, generally speaking. Women need to be relaxed to want sex while men can relax through sex. sex lessening my workload helped preach right like literally right there i'm like when i get out of my own head and i stop like the mental checklist of like stress and anxiety and things i have to do yeah then i'm like okay no i'm i'm like tuned back in uh female pleasure centric erotica

is their next recommendation sensual exercise dancing or anything that can help you feel more focused on your sexuality and make you horny there's that word again Next one goes, have you tried getting yourself in the mood? Obviously, we love intimacy. I think we all do. Everyone loves a good cuddle, a good shag, a good this, a good that, whatever you're into. But wanting it and experiencing it don't always go hand in hand. Allie gets that, whether it's love and libido so you can get yours or period hero for PMS support. I'm in desperate need of that right now. Allie is wellness that shows up for women. You can find OLLI Supplements at retailers nationwide or at OLL.com. OLL.com. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Can't wait to see your comments.

And let's get back to sell. Thanks, Ollie. Okay, moving on to this next one. You've got some really, really good tattoos. Oh, that's some bad tattoos. You've got really good tattoos. I mean... Bad tattoos.

You've got Jaden Smith on your... leg yeah my thigh yeah two do you have two jaden tattoos two

how do you do you still like do you want to cover up do you still you like them it wasn't the spirit of how I receive them okay

the joke was that it's funny because they're permanent and I commit to jokes yeah it wasn't my joke but I understand it was funny

and so I choose at least thus far to keep them do you have like I've always wondered this when watching the show Do you guys have, like, ground rules for your punishments, or is it truly just a free-for-all?

It's a little bit of both. I think it's truly a free-for-all. Okay. I think that we are good at understanding what the line is. Okay. You know, we go right to it. Yeah. And if we don't know, we have techniques.

So, for example, we wanted to put leeches on Murray. Oh, my God. And we didn't know if. his take on it. And what we don't want to do is move forward with an idea and find a location and put and write for it and get there. And God forbid, you know, he's like, no, because not every punishment is a surprise, but a lot are. And so we have to, we have to, you know, take a liberty thinking like, you know, well, they're going to go through with it. Yeah. Or they can go through it. There's been times I, one or two times I physically was unable to do it, even though I would have

wanted to do it. Okay. And then that is problematic. because you can't lose a, that's budget, that budget is out the window. And so someone else has to take that punishment. You know what I mean? And we don't want that to happen because that's not really fair. So what we'll do is we'll go to James

and I'll say to him, hey, we have an idea we want to put leeches on Q. And I'll get his temperature for what it is for Q. And so if he's like, oh, that's hysterical do it. I'm like, you just made your own bed bail. You put yourself in that. But if he's like, oh, that's, I would talk to him about that because that's like, that's a tough one and he might not like that.

And then, you know, like, all right, we probably can't do it to him. Okay. Yeah. So there's like little ways to do it if we don't know what the line is. But we know each other so well and we're doing the show so long that I think we, we are, we have a, we're a good judge of if like what we can do what we can't do. Do you feel that anyone gets the worst punishments? We all feel we, we, we, I will say everyone has bad punishments.

Yeah. We all feel like, you know, we'll come. compete to, well, I'll argue. I know what it was, like, I was electrocuted a lot of times. I was shocked, I should say. Oh my God. With, like, large animal collars all over my body. And I learned after this, because they did it

in one bit, and then the next season they did it again. And then we had a live show where they did it to me for a little bit too. And I only recently learned that. I might have taken a couple of decades off my life by doing that. Yeah, what if you had a heart condition? The jury is still out as to how damaging

this was to me. But like, we all, But I will say that historically, cumulatively, I think probably James Murray has gotten it the worst. Yeah, that was my pick. The nipple piercing was... Oh, that's nothing. That was pretty bad. Come on. I mean, on a scale, like, that's a one to me.

Oh, see, I'm like, that one was bad. Watching him skydive. Cry dive. That was like, you could just feel his anxiety. Like, you felt so bad for him. I did feel bad on that. But then again, you got put in a room with a tiger and you're, like, really scared of cats.

I mean, I just had nothing to do with cats. I was like, that was, I didn't think that would make the movie because I just didn't think it was funny. It was sheer terror, and I couldn't even speak. The bear cage was kind of another one. They really like to fuck with you with animals. Yeah. The bear cage, I get.

I'm behind a steel cage. They were right here in front of my face, grizzlies. And they could reach in a little bit, but I do feel like I was tucked away enough that they wouldn't. They did get into a fight right in front of me, the two bears. And that's,

that's unbelievable. But the tiger was on one little chain that was tied to the shower pole. And like, there wasn't a hand, was there a handler in that room. I didn't know that. I didn't know it at the time.

Yeah, but also what are they going to be able to do? What are they going to do? What are they going to do? It was a tiger. Not knocking her, but it was like an older lady. And she was like,

she was like, you know, she wasn't like a brick. shit house. She was like a little bit frail. You know what I'm saying? Well, like, look what happened to that one guy in Vegas. With the tiger. Roy? Yeah. I mean, he has a name Morgan. He's not that one guy.

The man was, you know, the man is a headliner in Vegas for like decades. No. I know, Roy you could have been. Raised tigers in the thing took him up. Yeah. I mean, if the thing lunged me, it's going to rip out the tile and get me. And I don't know what the hand was going to do. Nothing. My first

thing I asked was, and I think it stayed in the movie, was like, how did we get insurance for this? I was dead serious. And then I almost couldn't even move. I started to think they sense my fear. So even me not speaking, just whatever pheromones are coming off of me right now, if that's the right word, this thing senses the fear. I didn't understand how, you got to understand, my mind is blown in that scenario. They shoved me into a roadside motel room.

I was talking to them and I shoved me in there and closed the door and then there was no knob to get out. And I didn't know, and I just heard a growl. And I literally, I just glued my. myself to the corner and this thing just nonchalant, a white 600 pound tiger just nonchalantly walks out. And I just was like the level of irresponsibility here. Like I, I don't care what someone told you. There is a percentage that I will die from a tiger right now. Like there is, you cannot tell me that I, it was risky. You can't tell me 100% full proof that I, that something might

not go wrong. It's always, there's always a chance. Can you take this liberty with me? Yeah, the chance is never zero. And I was actually as angry as I was terrified in that moment, but like I couldn't move or speak. I was, it was a feeling I've only had two or three times in my entire life of that.

One time I thought I was going to drown. At one time I misplaced my daughter. So those were like the three most fearful moments I've had in my life. Did you like just place her in a shopping cart? We got her. She's fine. Okay. She, no, it was, I was, I just told us on a pod, but like, she just, we were just loading up the car on vacation.

She was standing right next to us. We had extended family all over the place. And I put, and then I looked down, she wasn't there and called her name, didn't hear, ran to the street, ran both ways, ran back into the yard, looked in the pool all the old time. I had a heartbeating out of my chest. Oh, God. Yeah. Everyone's screaming her name.

And as a parent, what you feel in that moment, it blows away the tiger. Yeah. I was about to have a full-blown heart attack. I was about to, I mean, I'm break down the most vulnerable I've ever felt in my life. I don't wish it on anyone. No. And everyone's screaming her name and everyone's dispersed. And this all unfolded within 30 seconds.

You know, like not seeing her, screaming her name, looking both ways, going down, running down the block, running down the other block, looking in driveways, knowing that a car past, did someone take her? Is she in someone's yard? Where did she go in the back? Is she in the pool? Did she go into the pool? Gotts a bit. She's young. And then my wife found her sitting in the SUV that we rented.

So she just got in and she heard everyone screaming and didn't say anything. So she was sitting in there. The second I found out that she was in there, my body collapsed. I took a knee on the ground. I had shooting stomach pains. And I just started just crying because, you know, well, it's something else. It's a real, it's a crazy visceral. It's something that, like, it's innately biological.

That's happening. And, oh my God. And I'm like, I don't wish not on my worst enemy. No, really scary. But back to the tattoo. Yeah. This is coming from R slash tattoo advice. And it's titled, advice on my grandma's tattoo.

Second pick is the layout inspo. Hashtag, bad tattoo. What do we do? I'm sorry. I don't understand what second pick is the layout inspo meaning. So they included pictures for this one. Oh, go, go on this. Okay.

I'm going to show you the picture of what the inspiration was supposed to be for the tattoo, okay? It is a, like, paw print. If Love could have saved you, you would have lived forever. Charlie Love. Okay. And what is that, like, a framed kind of piece of picture or whatever? Looks like a frame. So you see, like, this cute little golden retrievers picture in the paw print.

A quote, if Love could have saved you, you would have lived. forever. Charlie's collar with this little dog tag on it. I can't wait for this. And then we get a picture of grandma's tattoo. I can't wait for this. Okay. Grandma too, huh?

Grandma. Really loved Charlie. So this is the tattoo. Oh, gosh. Can I take this? Yeah. Tell everyone what you're seeing. Wait.

Oh my. Oh my God. What does it say? oh no it's it's it's it's not good it's not good artistically at all does that look like a golden retriever oh i was i thought it was a different type of dog it was a golden retriever golden retriever this you would name every single breed of dog before you said golden retriever for this dog it looks like a maltese it looks like a maltese yeah it does it looks identical to a maltese there's nothing on here not one thing on here that looks like a goal not one trait nothing at all nothing everything else

is bad too the lettering is bad it's really bad but the kicker here and by the way even the letters are crooked and i don't mean like crooked going the wrong way like like they're miss the spacing is off on the letters and like one letter will be this way and one letter is a little this way it's very wabi-sabi yeah it says yeah it's like uh it's like uh And it's imperfect. Yeah. It's perfect and it's imperfection. So, Robbie Sabia would be a good thing.

If love could have saved you, you would, you would have lived forever. They doubled it. The person wrote you would twice in a row. And then there's a massive space in between would have and then no space in between lived. And then there's a heart. It looks like that looks like a period after lived, even though the word forever comes after it. And then there's also one, two, three different fonts.

And then there's another heart I have to love that actually just looks like a birth mark or like a pine cone. And the shading is horrific as well. It's really bad. And I wonder, do people, can people get lawsuits? I always wonder that. Also, you would, the first you, first of all, it says if love could have saved you, you would you would so the word you is three times out of four words

but the first you and the second you preceding it immediately are different fonts it's pretty bad yeah but so also like where is the head of the tattoo artist if you wrote you would like you're not go it's not like you're jotting it quickly down no don't they like map it out on like a piece of paper and then like stick it to you and then that ink transfers.

But this is screaming. Like, you know when you're trying to make a sign in school and you don't leave enough space and at the end, like the one word has like seven letters and this much of this screams that. It's giving free hand. Yeah. It's giving it. Oh, it's free hand without a doubt. But like how do you not realize that you've, it's not even just you.

It's not like you would, would. It's you would. You start. By the way, you start on the second you. You're already, now you're adding a second you, right? Where it shouldn't be. Uh-huh. You don't notice about the second.

and would even you would you have they must have been on drugs yeah like something i i do wonder because i because i follow an instagram page with bad tattoos oh the coverups are crazy and um i do wonder if people can get have a lawsuit but i guess what about how much you're going to sue for because it's like it's not just a price of the tattoo though you're you're you're permanently oh yeah embarrassed or what have you um apparently you can sue a tattoo artist for certain types of harm, such as infection from unsanitary practices and allergic reaction, or if the final tattoo is demonstrably different from what was agreed upon. There you got it right there.

So, I'd say, yeah. So, yeah. I mean, or stupidity. Stipidity should be in there. It should be. Well, that's demonstrally different. It's not, it's extra words. That's not even the same dog.

Yeah, that's crazy. But it's like, what do you think granny? What do you sue this person for, though? I don't know. I can't, I can't. That person, I don't think they have much to give. I don't, I don't think so. And it's like, I think grandma, like, oh, this is really dark.

But, like, Granny, does Granny want to go through a cover-up or just, like, deal with this for the rest of her days? Yeah. You know? I don't know. Oh, man. It's pretty bad. That's bad. Pretty bad.

And the person wants to know what they should do? Yeah. And so, like. That's their grandma? This is the grandma writing. This is their grandma. So they're like, maybe the grandma's not online. Is the inference that the grandmother has.

Has it noticed? No, I think grandma's noticed and is upset. Okay. And just basically people are just like, yeah, it's understandable why she would be very upset. And the next comment, yeah, that's a shit tattoo. But if she's not agreeing with it and if you or she can't pay to cover it, keep it to yourself for the most part and tell her to find a different artist. By the way, it's on the grandma's entire arm from her shoulder to her elbow.

It is a massive tattoo. Yeah. Massive. Which is wild in the first place. To get a tattoo that big and then just, would she throw a, just a, just hit, throw a rock and whoever it hit, she's like tattoo me. Probably.

This person cannot have worked at an establishment. This screams out of my basement. Oh, that sucks. As a tattoo artist, I wonder if they have, like, they wake up in the middle of night in a cold sweat, like, because that's a mental error. Do you think the bad ones care? Or do you think, like, they're so, like, I did good work today. I'm so good.

I'm saying, even like a tattoo artist's worth their salt. I wonder if that's like a common theme. Like they wake up like, oh my God. Like I accidentally doubled up a word or something like that. I probably would have that. I mean, I would. I had like server nightmares like where you're like, even still, you're like, oh my God, I forgot the water for that table.

Like in your dreams. You're just like, ugh. I used to bartend. I've had dreams where I work a full, full. You know when you're like a dream, you're like, How was that your house, but it wasn't your house? And then, you know, Matthew McConaughey was there. Yeah.

And then, you know, we rode a bicycle. Like, I had dreams where I clock in for a bartending shift and I work an eight-hour shift and then wake up. It feels like I worked an eight-hour shift. Yeah, you don't feel arrested. And I'm like, like, like filling up the ice, wiping down the thing. Like, I felt it in real time. Do you ever wonder if you're living in another reality?

All the time. There's people that get sucked into their dreams for months. Like, that's a real thing. thing where they go to sleep for one night. That's what they feel like? And in their dream, they live for like two months in their dreams. And they have a boyfriend, a different apartment. They've got like sometimes kids in those other like dream worlds. Like they get locked in. I've never heard that that's fascinating. Yeah. I have to look that up. It's a big thing. It's a big thing. Oh my gosh. I know. Sometimes the best gifts aren't gifts at all. Their experiences,

journeys, something that unwraps them. This year, help them explore their past with ancestors, DNA, help them discover where they come from and who they're connected to. Now with even more regions, exclusive features, and incredible detail. They can see where they're from and the paths that shape their family's story. This holiday, give more than a gift. Give ancestry DNA. Visit ancestry.ca for more details. Terms apply. Okay, I'm giving you a choice on this last one I have for you. option number one Am I the asshole for making a joke after my fiance

got a speeding ticket or option two which I have read at one of our live shows walked in on my mom eating my dad's ass and I want to die Oh my god

I don't know if I'm equipped for the second one I gotta go second one I mean give the people what they want. Okay. So this is coming. If I would have chose the first one, you would have just heard the yelling, come on.

Screaming in your ear. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. I'll still read the first one for you guys on a different episode. You'll still get it. It's almost like I'm punishing myself here. You are.

This is crazy talk. This is crazy. Oh, God. All right. I'm bracing for this. I thought we wouldn't hear. I mean, I thought we heard it all. No.

Let's go. This is coming from our. slash true of my chest, again titled Walked in on my mom, 56 female, eating my dad's 58 male ass. That's such a funny way to type it out. It's like a police report.

It's like a police report. You sound like an officer. I know. And I want to die. It's so funny too. They're like, I don't even understand. I don't know if the parents' ages

are necessarily relevant there. But it makes it worse. Yeah, it does. You're right. It makes it worse. It is, yeah. I'm still shaking up about it and I haven't. It was 56F and what?

58M, all right. I'm still shaking up about it and I haven't been home since. It happened last night when I was scrolling on my phone. I noticed my battery was low and remember that I lent my charger to my mom earlier that day. So I went to my parents' bedroom and I didn't hear anything strange before entering. How are you eating your spouse's ass when other family is home? that's like you got to wait till they go to work you got to wait till they go maybe on maybe on a walkabout I would wait until my daughter's like I know what I want

I want to find myself in Amsterdam I'll be back in six months then I eat the ass you can't be in that's when someone's downstairs you're playing with fire this is insane they deserve what they got but nothing could have prepared me for what the sight I saw was I don't want to get into detail because I'm still pretty scarred but basically my mom was eating my dad's ass. I was so fucking traumatized that I closed their door immediately. I'm traumatized. And ran back to my room.

I don't know what to make of that imagery. At times, I felt like I was going to have a full-blown panic attack, but I eventually calmed down after a little while. And luckily enough, I found my old charger in my drawer. So the story has a happy ending. I love this. She let us know she found the charger at the end of it.

Oh, my God. I've been at my friend's house. It could have been worse. So it could have been worse. She could have seen it and then not found the other charger. Not been able to go on TikTok. I've been in my friend's house since this morning and I have no idea how I'm going to come home. My parents called me a few times, but I don't think I can call them back for the time being.

Even in anonymity, it takes balls to type this into this. Because you're putting it out, you're legitimizing it. I know. You're typing it. And now we've taken it. And now we're talking about it. And it just makes it more real. I would almost start to, like, make myself believe it was an illusion.

You know what I mean? It was a bad dream. I had a gummy. Yeah. Like, it didn't happen. What? Yeah. No, no.

Now, so, okay, this is something I need to know. Was this like a, and the parents didn't know? Or did the parents know that she saw it? We don't have any mention of that. I should not give that detail. God damn it. Top comment. That's why we got to.

knock on doors before entering Comrade. Yeah. Yeah. Comrade. I don't know. Russian replied. Yeah. That's just, that's their vibe. That's tough, man. You take that to the grave. Apparently, like, I'm trying to find the original sub because this was pulled from a screenshot I have.

And this does happen quite often to people. You can't find your charge and you see as eating in your family. A lot of people walk in and see people eating each other. other's asses. This one is five months old. I can, I mean, it's, the specificity is like,

I walked in on them having sex. Yeah. But it's like, no, it's eating ass. By the way, this wasn't a problem even over 10 years ago,

maybe even five. This is a new trend I'm hearing now that's like, ass eating. I mean, if you got F-58 and M-56 and M-58's doing it. But honestly, good for that.

This was never what it was. I don't even think. Good for that. I don't even think it occurred to anybody. prior to 2016. Ass eating? Yeah. I had a college roommate that broke up with a guy

because he asked her to give him a rim job. And that was back in like 2013. That's what I'm saying. It was unheard of. Yeah. He was going to put himself out there back then. If he would have been about three, four years, it would have been a discussion.

It would have been fine. Yeah. Would have been fine. I don't know what to do because that person now till the day she leaves, even when she doesn't want to, not that she ever wants. to but like that's going to be an intrusive thought that can pop into our head at any given

moment in time every time you look at your parents and it's going to be quite some time in the immediate that she can look her parents even in the eyes and not think of that imagine if mom tries to give her or him like a little kiss love you babe yeah love you sweetie oh lord don't come near me with that mouth mom yeah what I would have to do what I would have to do first all thank God my parents divorced when I was four what I would have to do what I would have to do is I would have to soul search. I have to sit down and say, you know what? I'd have to make it so that I could say, good for them. You know what I mean? Good for them. Yeah. Who am I to judge? I mean, like, come on here. We're all, we're all got our things. Yeah, everyone's got their kinks.

They're their own people. And this is going on everywhere right now. And so be it. Yeah. So be good for them. I don't know how I get there mentally. Also, in order to get there mentally, you got to think about it. So you're going to really be banging that around in your head in order to get there. And if you don't get there, then you're just really digging a whole deeper. But that's tough, man. That is tough. The way you come to terms with it. That was the closer. It was the closer. It was good. Yeah. If you want to feel a little bit better, you go on the subreddit dead bedrooms, which is all these people that have no intimacy anymore, haven't had sex in like five years. They're still together. And then you look at it and you're like, well, at least my parents are still having fun.

This is the thing, dead bedrooms? I'm not on Reddit, so I don't really know. That one's, yeah. It's a whole world out there. It is a rabbit hole. So what is her, what has come to of this? You just let us know? That's it.

She had to let us know that. That's all I got. Wow. It was just a true off my chest. Just had to share with someone because if I have to live with it, other people need to know. I guess I get that because it would never occur to me to see that or any of these experience you said and then run and be like, I mean, you're not going to tell your real life, friend.

they'll judge you forever. You tell the internet where it's anonymous. Right. The one thing I would love to know if the parents knew that this person saw. But I'm hoping it was quick. And she was, you know, mom's head was, you know, buried deep and dad maybe was down and doggy. Well, we don't know what the angle is. I mean, if I'm just going over it in my head, there could have been various different ways it could have happened.

Let's hope that dad was not all for us facing the door. Fingers crossed. Fingers crossed. Sal, thank you so, so much for coming on. You are on tour right now. Yes, I am on tour. You can get tickets at my website, savolcanocomedy.com. It's the everything's fine tour. It's everything's fine tour. So if you saw my special Terrify, which is streaming on HBO Max, this is 100% new material. I got like 30 or 40 cities up now, but I'm touring all the way through 2027. I've been touring this since 2024. Whoa. So yeah. So if you don't see your city,

I'm getting to every single city. Just check back. eventually it'll happen. But I have some bigger shows coming up November 14th, I'm at the Chicago Theater. And November 15th in Appleton, Wisconsin. Okay. December 27th of the Beacon Theater in New York City. So notable ones are the Rhyman Theater in Nashville, April 12th. I'm in Austin, February 1st, Atlantic City, February 28th, and so on and so forth.

Any Minnesota stops? Minnesota? I was there. I was there recently already. I am going to Rochester, Minnesota. Okay. And there might be another minute, but I was in mini. But I'm also, I have a new talk show coming out called Mnuch.

Ooh. Yeah, and that'll be out on YouTube on my channel and on where you get podcasts. Late fall, early winter. Okay, I love this. This is a fun mom. It's short for Mnuchia. It's a really, like, absurd tongue-in-cheek interview show. It's like really, really big guests, really, really small talk.

Okay. And it goes in and out of conversation and sketch comedy. I love that. I'm working on now. I'm shooting in 10 episode season. So I'm shooting the first season now. That's amazing. And, yeah, what else?

And Joker, season 12 was airing on TBS. I love it. Yeah. All of Sal's links will be in the description. Check everything out. Go get a ticket to one of his shows. Funny guy. Thank you.

This was so much fun. Okay. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I would love to come back. I'll have you back and I will only give you updates. That's on you. I don't want to put that on you. No, it's easy.

But I won't, I won't, I won't, you know, get mad if you did that. Okay. I would do that for you. Until next time, guys, bye. You know,