Two Hot Takes - 243: The People Are Ill..?

Episode Date: November 20, 2025

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Lauren! After our Bruh theme it was clear the people are ill... or are they? Are we ill and off base or is something really amiss here? Going to need your help to decide on these ones. From an OP whose girlfriend has some bad shower habits to a OP whose husband mocks her for trying on too many pants .. buckle up because things get a little feisty this episode. Partners: Olly: https://www.olly.com Promo code: THT30 for 30% off! Statefarm: https://www.statefarm.com or use the award winning app to get help from one of their local agents. NEW MERCH: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://shop.twohottakes.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Bonus Content on Patreon including FREE stories: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ MERCH HERE ! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://shop.twohottakes.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Send us a letter? Our PO Box!! Two Hot Takes. 5042 Wilshire BLVD. #470. Los Angeles, CA 90036 WRITE IN TO US!!! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Index: 00:00 -- Start Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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My hair is doing something crazy today. Why? I don't know. I just don't like it. I keep, it's one of those days where I wish it back and forth and front and back in ponytail and up and down. I don't know if you've ever noticed that fidget of me, but some days they're really, it's really obvious. No, my, I've, like, I cannot stop messing with my hair and head lately. Like, I was editing last week's episode, you guys, and like, literally, I'm just like,

Stop touching your hair. I'm like, why? I know. I don't even watch them back because I'm like, I don't want to watch myself do my little, like, any type of repetitive fidgets. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't know. But here we are.

Here we are. Here we are. We've got a really good theme today, I think. Hi. Hello. Welcome back to another episode of Two Out Takes. I'm your host Morgan. Joined by Lauren.

I did that with a guest today And they looked at me like What is that noise? Wow Usually don't break it out for the strangers But I can't believe you did that for a stranger I thought that was like for I thought it was special

But yeah no It is special Each and every time Okay But yeah I don't know what What was I just what was I saying It's one of those days you know

But I think it's going to be a good episode When we recorded the bruh theme, you had a line in there and you were like, the people are ill. And that has stuck with me. I'm like, oh, thank God. I don't have to think of a theme. Yeah.

So good. So that's our theme today. The people are ill slash like, are the people ill question mark or who is ill? Which person in the story is ill? Is anyone ill? I don't know. Just a bunch of chaos all across the board.

Some new, some old. some updates, some no updates. It's going to be a surprise, roulette, rapid fire. I've got options. I've got some gross stuff. You will see poop. You will hear poop. You will not see it.

You won't see it. But you'll hear it. You'll hear about it. We don't have pictures. Oh, my God. I don't think. I'll refresh. But it's going to be a really fun episode.

And I got a glass of wine for the first episode in like three months. Wow. I don't think we've had wine on the show. You're not having wine. Lauren's still doing her whole 30, whole 60 now. Yes, it's past 30. She's just healthy. Well, yeah, I have broken the whole 30 and I wasn't exactly sure how I wanted to do it because I was slowly introducing foods.

Yeah. And then unfortunately, I went to a Friendsgiving. A lot of dairy and Friends Giving. There was just so many beautiful foods and wine. And I was like, you know what? So did that. And then as you should. Now I'm kind of like back on trying to still do Whole 30 and then kind of like incorporate or just see how foods make me feel. So it's it's still happening. It's just not as strict as it was. Yeah. Yeah. It's good to figure out what your body needs and doesn't need. Yeah. What makes you feel good? I speaking of poop. Oh. Let's go back to that. Let's circle back. I heard it. It's funny that you're talking that you accidentally said you guys will see poop because I,

I... Did you have to take a picture of your poop and send it to someone? No. Oh. But thanks for giving everyone that vision. Well, sometimes you have to do that with a doctor. No, I did not do that. But I watched this video last night where this woman pretended that she had pooped in a tubware in a car and gave it to her husband.

And his reaction, I don't think it was a fake. Like, I think it was a genuine reaction. and I couldn't stop laughing, like, I need to see this. I know, I want you to, like, insert it in this clip because it's so funny. I want to do this to Justin. You should. What did she use? A tithy roll melted?

No, so she used an actual, like, toy piece of poop. Like, you can order online. Yeah. And then she put Nutella on top of it, and then she sprayed it with this, like, spray that's, like, four pranks. It's, like, poop spray. And she sprayed it in this tubware. Oh, the fart spray? Yeah.

And then she goes. she closes it and then she goes honey i'm gonna use the bathroom before we like leave like one second and then she gets back into the bathroom and she goes here hold this and he's like what is this and she's like what's my poop duh and he's like why would you poop in this and then she ends up being like it's not a big deal and she opens it and puts it on his shirt and that's when he lost his mind and i was rolling laughing god she's ill she is ill in the best way i love her I love, yeah, I'm like usually not a prank person, but the one where mom or dad or whoever will be on the toilet and be like, can you bring me toilet paper? And it's like their little two-year-old or something, like gets them toilet paper, five-year-old, six-year-old, whatever.

They have Nutella or fake poop on their hand. And so as they reach for the toilet paper roll, they smear poop on the kid. Oh, my God, yes. And the kids just, their reactions are so good. Some of them instantly lose it. Some of them are like, it's okay, mommy. Oh, like, so good, so good. So maybe I'm okay with some pranks.

I think pranks are hilarious. Like, just not ones that are, I mean, the crazy ones that are like, ha ha, like, oh, I had an insane one. Really? It's on next week's episode. It's horrible. Oh, my gosh. Horrible. I guess I got to listen in.

Got to tune in. Yeah. Thti listener. Let's see who's ill or not ill. I don't know. Let's dive in. Let's do it. This episode of Two Hot Takes is presented by OLLI. Women always come first with OLLI.

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I don't know what is happening here today. We'll see. I think we should actually start off each episode that way. Oh, no, I will. I lost it. That one is good. I've been hearing a lot of, like, what is like the vagus nerve or something. Yeah?

I think that it healed it just now. Just now? Yes. If you flex your foot a couple of times, that also can help with your vagus nerve and nervous system. Wow, I always do that. That's good to know. If you're, like, really stressed. That's going to be my new fidget.

Up against a wall really hard. That helps with, like, deep joint stimulation and that calms your nervous system, but you have to, like, push really hard into a wall. I like doing the arm in the doorway thing. Yep, same thing. Oh my God. I haven't done that in a very long time and I need to. And if anyone hasn't somehow done this before, go in your doorframe, put your arms on either side. And like for, I'd say give it at least 60 seconds. Full 60 seconds push out as hard as you possibly can. And then magic happens. Truly, truly, I was about to say Harry Potter style. And then magic happens. And truly like your arms float. Like I'm not kidding. They literally float. It's the craziest. magic yeah it's like that one thing i don't know if anyone did this as kids you'd have to like put your two fingers together and then your friend would like keep tying knots invisible knots

over your fingers whoa no and then as you pull them away it like is really hard you feel like you have like you're tied really yeah i got to try that one i'll do two after let's get into these stories though this first one coming from our very own to i take subreddit 15 hours old My coworker secretly used my face in her vision board relationship collage, and I don't know how to act normal now. This is going to sound insane, but I swear I'm not exaggerating. I, 28 female, work in a small office. One of my co-workers, 30 female, is very into manifestation, crystals, aligning energies, all of that.

She's nice, a bit intense, but harmless. Or so I thought. Last Friday, we had a casual team lunch. Someone jokingly mentioned vision boards, and she lit up immediately. She said she actually brought hers because she wanted to update the universe during break. Everyone just laughed. She pulled it out, and that's when I saw it. There was a whole romance collage, candles, beach sunsets, champagne glasses,

and in the middle was a cut out photo of my face. My face So weird And next to it A torso of some random shirtless guy With his head cut out from the picture I froze My other co-worker saw it too

And literally choked on her water She tried to cover it up by saying Oh no no no It's just an energy representation But guys, it was my actual LinkedIn photo Printed cut out glued next to half a man She kept trying to explain saying things like, it's not literally you, it's the energy you give

me. And you attract what I want to attract. Everyone got super uncomfortable and quietly changed the subject. I could barely finish eating because my heart was in my throat. I don't know how to look her in the eyes on Monday. What do you even say? Is this harassment? Is a delusion? Am I overreacting? I feel violated and also weirdly. guilty for feeling violated. This is the most bizarre situation I have ever been in. Any advice is welcome because I genuinely have no idea how to handle this without making work ten times more awkward.

I think all of those feelings are very valid to that. I don't feel like I'm going to have good advice here because I'm like a weirdo and I would be like, I'm so flattered. I did make one of these vision boards in... And my face was on it? It was not. No. I didn't put myself on it at all.

But I did cut out a picture of John... What's his last name? He's from the office. He's Emily Blunt's husband. Oh, yeah, I forget too, but he's such a cute. He was cute. He was in this magazine. I had limited magazines to work with.

It was for, I don't know, something in grad school. And we had to create a vision board. And at that time, I was single. I wanted love. I wanted to find my person. Don't let Justin edit this. And I literally, no, he's seen it. He's seen the vision board because it was like shortly before meeting him.

And I put like this dark-haired dude on it, kind of like a similar look. I don't know. And I put like New Flame at the top. Causeinsky. Sorry. Yes. Yes. Yeah, okay. And so that, it's like, sorry Emily Blunt if you're listening, like, but like that's someone who's unattainable and not in my circle.

Yeah. But I do think it's kind of odd that she printed this picture from her co-workers' LinkedIn and then got so excited to whip out this manifestation vision board. If I did that and I knew I put my co-worker's face on it, that thing would be sitting at home. It's almost like a weird voodoo doll And I don't like Obviously this is in the theme Just because it's super weird Maybe she's dealing with a little bit of delusion

I don't know But like I think overall it is just odd Behavior I don't know if I'm just like It is definitely odd behavior 100% Yeah But like her reason that she came up with

I don't know if I'm just that gullible But I'm like oh okay Like that tracks Like Yeah But like you put I haven't heard that with a vision bore Where do you put somebody else's face

Because her response, if it's not true, was quick because it's like, okay, you see somebody that, like, attracts all these type of men that you want. How do you embody that type of energy in order to get the type of men that you want to be attracted to you too and to chase you too? That explanation, I'm like, that doesn't feel like it's an impossible thing for her to do. but also it's like when you do a vision board like it should be all focused on you you would think so it seems odd to post about somebody else like that almost feels like envy or like jealousy but but I don't know I'm not really down I don't really know a lot about those type of the vision board lifestyle I did however buy a book off of like TikTok shop or something of like a vision board material and I just like look through it in the morning because it's like so pretty and

and, like, fun little quotes. I like that. But, like, you're supposed to, like, cut stuff out and then, like, make a board with it. Yeah. But right now I just like it as a book. That's okay. Anyway, long how you want.

Long story short, this is totally fair to be very creeped out. And I'm thinking she completely just forgot. Like, was like, and then she was like, oh, my God, this is so embarrassing. I forgot that I put a coworker on here. Poor thing. If that's the case, poor thing.

And then the other option is that she could be a huge creep. Well, I think- That's a possibility. It's hard because it's like you cut out my head, put it on a picture of a woman, and then next to the woman is a man without a head. Whose head is supposed to be on that man? Yeah. Who's who? Who?

Like, does she just, maybe she doesn't care about, like, the head. She doesn't care about that. Hair color. She just wants the abs and the pecks. She likes the nips. Oh, no. I also think, like, say I was making a vision board and it's like, I want to embrace, like, Alejandro's work drive and your kindness and, like, all of that. I would put you on my vision board, but, like, we're friends. We're close. And, like, that would be a more, like, explainable thing. But, like, you could also just add the words. like kindness and like heart like I don't know but but I but I that's what I was saying I'm like they're not close right and but that's what I'm saying is like I don't fully understand like that that that when people are into like that lifestyle like it goes deep right like and they're really about energy so like yeah writing down kindness versus writing down you know what you think somebody else embodies like I feel like you like writing down like I want good work ethic or putting Alejandra when you think

about Alejandra you actually can like see it and feel it and like the energy. You know that she's like, when you see like hardworking, good work ethic. Like, I don't know if you really feel it and believe it as much as when you see a person that you're like, that's inspirational. Like, she's a badass walking down the streets of NYC. Like, you know what you mean? Like, okay, so maybe not that weird. I don't know. I don't want to make excuses if it is weird. Maybe not that weird. Maybe not. I don't know. I'm really curious what everyone's takes on this one is. I'm a little bit lost. I don't know. I guess maybe not bad intentions, but don't whip it out at work in order to update the universe during break.

And, like, I fully am on board with manifestation, crystals, aligning energies, whatever. Like, I think that shit is so cool. I do, too. I just don't know much about it. I don't know that much either. Like, I love getting my tarot read. Literally, Martina read my tarot and Justin's tarot, like, a couple weeks before he proposed and, like, the tarot was on, like, saying, proposal. So I do believe in that stuff.

Justin's like, got to move up the proposal. He, no, afterwards we talked about it. Yeah. And he goes, yeah, no, I felt that. It was so crazy. Yeah. But it's just maybe not the time or place to expose your vision board in this way. No.

And like, I don't blame O.P. for feeling violated. Like, going on to somebody's LinkedIn and printing out a photo of them and then seeing it somewhere, I don't know. Like, that I do understand that that would feel really odd. Let's get into the comments. Okay. Top comment, I'd start keeping that energy representation to myself and limit your interactions with her. And inform your boss of her weird, stalkery vibe, which I don't know if you can say that in an HR meeting, but someone else responds to that and goes, co-sign, document everything, send a short boundary email, like, please remove my image from your materials and do not use my likeness going forward.

then loop in your manager in HR so the request is on record if she brings it up again reply only in writing so these people are taking like a very professional approach like hey it's at least at the bare minimum kind of inappropriate for work

which legally like I don't know like I think people do you remember those hear me out cakes yes yeah like it's almost like in that weird way where it's like you printed off pictures

of your co-workers and then like made a hear me out cake but you're on a vision board instead. But wasn't hear me out, like, supposed to be, like, they're gross, but I'd still hit. Yeah. Like, that's, like, super, like, harassment. It's worse. Yeah, I guess it's way worse.

And so people were getting fired for the cakes. Good. So. It's, like, so ridiculous. No, it's bad. But I'm like, could you get in trouble for printing out your co-workers picture on LinkedIn and putting it on your vision board? I wonder if that's, like, an actual offense. I don't know.

It doesn't feel like it unless it was repetitive. like I feel like a one-time thing doesn't feel but but here's the thing is that bottom line is that OP feels really uncomfortable and you shouldn't feel uncomfortable in your place of work so I agree that actions do need to be taken like set boundaries make sure you notify your manager like all of those things should I agree with all of that um because in your place of work like you deserve to have that like feeling comfortable absolutely and people do start to get a nervous in the comments. I mean, people are like, she's not trying to attract your energy. She's trying to be you. There's a weird envy or somehow a delusion vibe there. And it's going to get worse

if no one checks it, to be honest. Well, like, we don't have enough, like, background information to confirm that that's going on. Right? Like, does O.P. add any other, like, moments where she's felt like this person is stalking her life or is this the one thing? We don't have any comments from OP. Yeah. See, I wouldn't, like, be convinced of that from just this story. It is definitely a possibility. It could be innocent.

I'm curious to see what everyone else thinks. Yeah. But we are going to move along. I don't know if you saw me earlier when you were, like, saying some have updates, some don't have updates. I did, like, the emoji, teary eye face. Like, my face was smiling and I instantly was like, what? What? Well, we'll see.

We'll see what ones coming up, have updates. What if you had to pick, would you say this person is ill or is innocent? I would say I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt and say, hey, there's good intentions here. But maybe this person doesn't really understand, like, social norms and just like doesn't understand how this could be coming across to other people. Yeah. Like, I do think, like, the explanation was, like, almost too quick for it to be a lie. Yeah. So maybe she looks at her coworker and is like, she's got a lot of friends at work. People like her. She does well. I'd love to embrace that. Yeah. Emboddy that type of vibe. I'm going to go glass half full, but I could be

off. I could be off. Okay. So this next one is coming from Artuette's subreddit, 22 hours old, titled, I ghosted my boyfriend after I found out who he really was. Nobody knew why, and I think people thought I was weird for a long time. Hello, Morgan, I'm a huge fan, and your show saves me during my work commutes. I figured, since I listened so much, I should contribute, here is my story. I, 30 female, had just started dating a really nice guy, 40 male. We were on one of our first dates having a great time. He was considerate, fun, seemed like a really good person. At one point during our conversation, he told me he was once married and has since divorced. He also told me his ex-wife later passed away from cancer. At this point, I felt a cold wash of

dread start from the top of my head down to my toes. Because when he first asked me out, I thought he looked slightly familiar. I figured out after he told me of his former marriage. He was the one who used to come to my place of employment with his then wife. I work in healthcare, and we watched over time how he abandoned her during her treatment when it got in the way of his social life. How she had to deal with everything on her own during her final months. He divorced her in her most vulnerable time. He was the worst.

I hated him. And now he was sitting in front of me at dinner and I wanted nothing more than to smash his pasta dish in his face. Shut up. But I was also really stupid and couldn't bring myself to break up with him right away. We went on some more dates

and each time I tried to reconcile who I knew he was with who he appeared to be. But I couldn't do it anymore. As someone who loves to avoid confrontation, I slowly pulled a Homer Simpson and faded gently into the bushes. He eventually got the hint something wasn't right when I wasn't responding to his calls or messages and broke up with me via email.

To this day, I wonder what he thought happened. I know his friends thought I was a horrible person for just up and disappearing. Many of his social circle were not around during his marriage. I couldn't just tell him I thought he was a terrible person who abandoned his dying. wife. He definitely did not remember me from my past workplace. I was a student and didn't do the main interacting with them. Should I have said anything or made up a reason? He has since

married and I feel terrible for his wife. What if she got sick? But I also couldn't really say anything because it's also partially patient confidentiality. People think he is great. They think I'm the kind of person who ghosts dates. It's been years since this happened, and I still reel over how I dodged a bullet, how wonderful and kind he seemed, and how terrible his past history was. There's a lot of illness here. In more ways than one. Yeah.

Genuine illness? Someone dealing with cancer. Does anyone else that's ill in this story? I thought she said boyfriend. Ghosted boyfriend. That was the title So they were Posted my boyfriend

But then it sounded like She had only gone on a few dates with him So I'm a little bit confused there Maybe boyfriend is used a little looser Then you would use it But like if that's the case I'm like why would you even spend a second Worrying if somebody's thinking

You're weird for ghosting someone Like whether we like it or not It happens all the time It's not like I mean I don't think she's ill Yeah no no no I know But I'm just wondering why she's even worried about what other people would think.

What other people think? Yeah. I don't know. Maybe like they run in a small social circle, but like if that's the case, I don't know. Sometimes I think a little gossip is healthy. I think it's okay to tell people like, oh, no, like I ghosted him because I recognized him from years ago when he abandoned his sick wife. Right. And that's why, like, O.P.

I feel like that would have been fine. I wish O.P. said that to him. Like, I, just to see his face you then. just to like be kind of called out like he should those bad behavior he should face that it's really sad it really is heartbreaking and you know that I think we've talked about this before but that stat where it's like yeah if a woman in a marriage gets ill the husband is likely to leave whereas if it's the other way around the wife is likely to stay and support the husband through it so it's just like it's one of those moments where it just makes you really sad to like hear confirmation of that

happening. I know. It's like you didn't beat the odds. You like literally fed into that stat. Yeah. I can't like I can't even imagine like it doesn't matter. I love Justin so much so like I can't even like put myself in this headspace. But like no matter what went wrong, it doesn't matter how much I disliked him. He didn't even like sound like he disliked her. I mean, I don't know. It's like were there other issues and then she got sick and it made it worse or truly was it because she got sick. Yeah. And his social life was impacted, like, genuinely.

Because this is an outsider looking in. Exactly. But that's what it looks like. That's what it looks like. Is it a duck? Is that what it is? But, like, I can't imagine ever abandoning someone who's dying. Who's sick.

You don't know if she's dying. Maybe he did know she was terminal. Like, I can't imagine that. Like, yeah. It's so sad. Yeah. I think, like, and I was thinking about that, too, because it's like we don't know what was going on behind

the scenes like I don't know like what yeah what if they were about to get a divorce and then she got sick and so he was like I'm gonna stay with you and help you but it just got to the point where I don't know too much yeah and like even then I still feel that way like it still is really sad someone that you love to like let them go through it on their own like that even if you guys are not together romantically like you I would just still hope that like somebody that you decide you care about enough to marry would want to stay by your side. Yeah. So like that still, that still sucks. But again, we don't know all the details. I think O.P. didn't do anything wrong. Yeah. I wish O.P. would have said it so that we could have saw his face. Literally.

Yeah. I want that shocked Pikachu meme. Him. I don't know what that is. It sounds really cute. You've never seen shocked Pikachu. Is it a new thing or an old thing? I feel like it's been around for a while. Or they call him Surprised Pikachu in the meme. Surprised Pikachu. Oh, I love Pikachu. I just want to see his face when he gets called out. Yeah, I know that face. I just didn't know that was like a thing. Oh my God. How did you never seen this? Wow. Yeah, I don't know. You're not ill O.P. Don't fret about this. Thank you for sharing because this is like some serious tea. But oh my God, I already forgot that it was actually like a write-in. It's one of us. It's one of us. It's one of ours.

Our little babies. Yeah, no, this is crazy. I think he's a little sick in the head for doing that to someone he's supposedly loved and cared about in sickness and in health. And also, I, yeah, I mean, who cares if his friends think it's weird that you ghosted him? Like, it's fine. Fuck his friends, too. Yeah. Okay.

Number three, have a real good feeling about this one. This episode is brought to you by Steve. State Farm. Okay, let's be real. We need people to support us. If your friends aren't keeping you on track and sharing their hot takes, are they really your friends? Good friends show up and they speak up. And like those friends, State Farm is there to help you choose the coverage you need. With so many coverage options out there, it's nice knowing you have support in finding what fits for you. So go online at statefarm.com or use the award-winning app to get help from one of their local agents. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Also, my friend just switched to State Farm and saved 50% when compared to his old insurance. So, just saying. This is coming from our very own Two Hot Takes subreddit. We are three for three on Two Hot Take Stories right now. For second, third, Two Hot Takes, Baby. Nice. Sam, it is titled, My Brother-in-Law just moved in and hates my favorite artist. Oh no. Hey, hey, Two Hot Takes fam. Longtime listener for

first-time poster. I love this community and the advice is always stellar, so I'm hoping y'all will be able to help me. My partner, male 23, and I, non-binary 25, are huge swifties. Yay! I was literally going to, I was going to use a story. Anyway, continue, but yeah. Same. Same. I feel I feel your pain already. We own every vinyl, almost all of the cardigans. her on almost all of our playlists. What can I say? She really does have a song to fit all my vibes. And I even went to the eras to her. Recently, my partner's brother, male 22, fell on hard times. We moved away about six months ago and are renting a very small two-bedroom house 12 hours away. About four months ago, my partner's brother was kicked out of their family

home by their mom. Long story, but she's a real piece of work, and moved in with his partner. That didn't work out so well either. It was a rural area, decently far from the family, and he wasn't able to find a job after almost two months. He missed his car payments, lost his car, and then also got kicked out of there. We've all been friends for years, so we offered him our extra room to help him get on his feet a little bit. He's been here for about three weeks now and has found decent employment and has been a good help around the house. When he moved up here, we knew it would be a drink. on our resources. He had zero dollars to his name and a huge adjustment for us, but we didn't anticipate any huge issues. Now, everything is coming to a head. With Taylor

Swift's new album coming out, he's really amped up on his hatred for her. Okay, I would, no, he's out. We can't listen to her in the car, watch any interviews, TikToks, etc. In the living room. Are you kidding me? That contain her, play

any of our vinals or talk about her, even to each other, without him blowing up. I totally get, she's not for everyone, and I respect that. I have friends and family who don't like her music at all, and it doesn't bother me. Not liking her music is different than hating her. I can totally understand that. This guy sucks, ungrateful weirdo. But my brother-in-law, all caps, hates her. In my opinion, an unreasonable amount for a person you've never met.

I feel like I'm not allowed to even exist in my own home without inciting an argument. On the rare occasion, I do play a handful of Taylor Swift songs. He makes it a miserable experience between slamming doors, stomping around, and making nasty comments. Oh my God, he's out. I would kick him out so fast. He's even interrupted my partner's work, he works from home, to rant about her and send several fake news articles about her. Most recently tonight,

my partner and I were cuddled up on the couch while eating dinner, watching the TikToks I've sent him, and there were a few, three, containing her songs. His brother came down to grab food, we don't always eat together, hung out for five minutes,

heard two TikToks with her music, then got up, huffed and stomped, made a few comments I couldn't catch under his breath, threw his dinner in the trash, and threw his utensils into the sink. I can't even listen to this. Like, I'm so mad.

My heart's racing. Loud enough that it made me jump. And then he stormed upstairs. We've tried to talk to him about it and say that he doesn't need to like her, but he needs to respect that we do and learn to tolerate her music in the house. We're not asking for listening parties or anything crazy. We've been pretty mindful, more than I'm comfortable with, about playing her music or talking about her when he's anywhere near.

However, I don't think it's a lot of. unreasonable to say that we'd like to be able to have a glass of wine and pop an album on once a week or something after a rough week in our house where he's living rent free currently we pay for everything including his weed oh my god i've even tried to listen to his favorite artist pointing out that until that exact moment he never even had an idea i can't stand them either I've let him play their music, talk about them relentlessly, watch interviews, whatever, and I've kept my mouth shut because I don't see the point in ruining his joy over 10 minutes of my unhappiness. It obviously didn't change anything, aka why I'm posting here. The constant negativity

and shitting on something I enjoy has really been getting to me. I've noticed I'm increasingly more irritable and on edge. I don't even want to be around him right now. I don't know where to go from here or how to fix it. He's only been here for three weeks, and I've already had to tell my partner, his brother may need to move out at this rate. Yeah. Two hot takes, fam, what do I do? Wow. Oh my God. I love that you're a Too Hot Takes listener. My heart goes out to you. I'm actually so angry. Lord's like shaking over here. I don't, I, I'm not shaking. Trembling with Ray. But my heart is like actually racing because I've thought about this. a lot where for all the celebrities that have been child stars and then get to the place they are

right now and just celebrities in general like Taylor Swift and everything that she's been under all of the pressure like there's been so many things that she's had to go through and she always does like perseveres and I'm just so impressed with the way that she handles her life and communicates and stays positive because it can be easy for a human to crumble underneath all of that. It's like for me, when people hate her music, that's so fine. Like I am- Everyone's got their own taste. Yeah. Hate her music. That's totally okay. But like when people genuinely hate her, I'm like, how? You clearly don't know anything about her if you hate her because she's just like so kind like yeah i mean at least from what she like shows us yeah i mean you're you're the ultimate

swifty i'd say like i enjoy the music but i i i definitely don't know that much like there's certain things i've seen online lately that have like kind of upset me we've talked about it like oh i forgot where i'm like oh that's a little dice you should probably address that but i do think like there's so much energy behind this where it's like this is not your home oh yeah this is aggressive stomping doors because you hear someone you don't likes music grow the fuck up this is not your house your brother and his partner aka your future like in-law like are kind they're paying for your weed even it's just that's not an essential item it's it's it's like this it's ungrateful ungrateful it's titled rude extremely respectful yeah i he's deranged he's deranged

I know. Deranged. You're getting kicked out of like two different places and that and in your like lowest moments, you're going to just go and make life even harder and basically push these people out too, like of your life from helping you. Like, why are you making it so hard for people to help you? It's not, you don't, it's not that common for people to help people no matter if their family or not like in this way.

So the fact that you have people that are willing to do this and you're going to just like shit all over something that makes them happy is. so messed up like take taylor swift out of the equation right because like i whatever like some people insert anyone yeah insert anyone he knows how much you love this artist you have the vinals you have the merch you have everything you love this artist and he goes above and beyond to incite like this hateful energy like the minute someone slammed a door in my house out the minute you throw your dinner away because you're so disgusting you can't be in the same room as the music.

And then you throw your silverware in the sink. That fork is going to come flying at your ass. At your ass. And I hope it shish kebabs you. I hope it does. Just start booby tramping the house. I mean, at this point, like I'd say, hey, you know, your behavior is really, really unacceptable. Like, we've gone above and beyond opening our doors, making sure your needs are met.

We've put ourselves out there by giving you money. paying for non-essentials like weed we really have gone above and beyond to make sure you are in a safe happy healthy home and you have recreational fun like we've gone above and beyond and you're not being at the bare minimum respectful yeah we're going to give you three weeks to move out that's no i'd be like you're out now i'm not even kidding i know but like no i don't care i don't think he has any money i don't care get the fuck out you have a serious attitude problem yeah and you need to fall in your ass and hard in order to adjust it. Because if you got kicked out twice before this and this is how you treat your guess, or not your guess, the owners, like, you clearly need

something big to happen in order for you to change that. And something needs to give because this is so unacceptable. So like, yeah, go and like figure it out on your own. I know. And that's the other side. Tough love. I mean, I think like, hey, two week, two weeks notice. Like, no, he can go find a roommate he's working now nope like right now you're done why am i being the devil's advocate a little on this one i just think i just think that this like behavior is so despicable it's like it's just like triggering um and and then add like Taylor swift now it's personal so the people that hate Taylor Swift that are listening are like literally like crossing out my face on everything.

No, I mean, everyone is entitled to like who they like. Like, it, I mean, I don't love certain artists, but, like, Justin does. And so I'll listen to them if they're in the car. That's different, though. You're not going to spit on him for it. But I'm not disrespectful. Exactly. He's disrespectful.

Yeah. Top comment does say that. He's living rent-free and throwing a fit over your music, the audacity. This isn't about Taylor Swift. it's about his respect for you in your own home. For sure. Time for a serious talk about house rules or an exit plan. Exit plan being now.

Our writer does respond. Thank you. That's what I've been saying. The level of disrespect is insane. He's been my best friend for three years and now we all live together. And my partner and I are helping him financially and he acts like this. We brother-in-law's best friend. That's what?

Oh. They're all like, I mean, it was like they were all friends. Yeah. So now I'm like, okay, maybe he's like really comfortable, a little too comfortable. Okay, maybe we can give him like one week notice. I think two is, you know. No, we can give him one week to get his shit together. And if he does, then he can stay for a little bit longer. Okay. I think that's a fair compromise. This other comment goes, not the asshole. I don't like Taylor Swift, but if you are graciously giving me a place to stay when I'm on hard times, your music choices would be my last thought. Yeah. I'd be more concerned about

what chores I could do to pay you back while I looked for a job. Yeah. And to thank you on a daily basis. Mm-hmm. What to do? Well, he can shut the fuck up and contribute to the household or he can move out. Mm-hmm. Again, I really can't stand Taylor Swift.

If someone was kind enough to offer me a home when I needed help, I'd be so grateful. Being a jerk about what music you love is such a terrible thing to comment on. You seem so kind, and I'm sorry this is happening. Why do people, like, can't stand her? Like, I don't understand that. We're going to have to ask some people in the comments. I just think, like, it's, you see that, like, her art brings so many people happiness and connection. Like, why does that make you angry?

I do not know. But, uh, we do have an update. This is like the one I don't want an update for it. I'm like, move on. I hate everyone. Just kidding. Hey, too how it takes, fam. Thank you so much for your input on my last post.

With the exception of a few people, the comments were really affirming and helped me pull my head out of my ass, man up, and face the situation more direct. I went ahead and deleted the post just in case, as I caught a few people I know in real life peeping it, my fault for putting everyone on to the pod. We waited until he was in a good mood. Then my partner and I sat him down and laid out everything on the table. We told him that his reactions to our music made us feel like we were walking on eggshells and being held hostage in our own home. We told him we were starting to become resentful and considering drastic measures if things didn't change. We made it clear that we were happy to help him, to an extent, and clarified the extent,

but only if he could remain respectful. We clearly set the expectation that in our house, our house, we don't throw things, slam things, yuck anyone's yum, or yell. We made sure to address it delicately, but firmly. We asked if he'd felt respected in the house, if there was anything deeper going on mentally. He let us know about some personal things that he was struggling with, and we worked together to make a game plan going forward. So, to those of you that pointed out, it was likely a lot of change at once, and there was probably a deeper mental health issue occurring.

Thank you. He recognized and acknowledged that his reactions were inappropriate, as well as unwarranted. He apologized for his responses and disrespect, thanked us for being willing to put so much effort into making him understand how his actions were affecting us, and, how mindful we've been about playing her music while admitting we've been objectively, overly conscious. He agreed that the frequency we were asking for wasn't unreasonable. 45 minutes a week after a rough day over dinner without him.

Talks in private conversations, not included him. During activities, not included him, like watching TikToks on the couch as he walks by. This is fucking crazy. Yeah, boy. You should be able to live in your house. Do you? Are you kidding? No, he can, no.

There's no, you don't need to make. No. He confirmed we weren't listening too loudly that he wasn't able to hear it in his room or upstairs at all. He should stay there. And that we should be able to sparingly listen to her music in common spaces, as we allow him to do that as well. We came to the conclusion together that his frustration has been building since his feed has been full of her stuff recently with the recent album. That fact is likely due to his interactions with her hate videos is a discussion for another time. Hate videos? Who knows? He's probably watching something and then getting even more of her content. We collectively agreed that it's just better for him to keep his mouse shut going forward. Ultimately, there's nothing we could say if we ever tried to make him like her. And on the flip side, there's nothing he can say to make us not like her. We know how he feels, he knows how we feel, and there's no point in beating a dead horse. So basically, he's been

overexposing himself. It was good to hear him come to the conclusion. This whole situation was 99% his own fault and tell us that we weren't doing anything wrong. We told you that. Honestly, neither of us were expecting the level of accountability he did take. Yeah. All three of us got headphones. We gave him a pair of earbuds about a week ago, and we will continue using them in heavy rotation for longer listening sessions of music the others don't enjoy. This is like way too many compromises for your house, but maybe I'm just an asshole. No, I agree. It's your house. It's no. O.P. goes on to say, I've agreed to teach him budgeting and basic finance management techniques to get him on his feet faster and planning to surprise him with a few

vinals of his own of his favorite artists. Our least renews in April. Until then, we'll be having biweekly sit downs to go over concerns and we'll reevaluate our living situation at least renewal. If he's still here then, if all goes well, sooner if things don't improve. The mood in our house is great now. I thought there might be some tension after the discussion, but it went over really well. Well, as long as you're happy, that's good. There you go. I don't think you should have to make compromises, though, but if you feel good about it, if you feel happy, then that's what's important. Yeah, I mean, I don't think you need to be this big of a person, but if you're comfortable doing that to make peace in your home and, like, support your friend, your family, then that's a sacrifice

you're willing to make, but I also think he was being extremely unreasonable and disrespectful, and he can go in his room when there's music playing in the living room that he doesn't want to hear. It is your house and your paying for every single bill. I'm like a little, I'm like blown away by like how much give there was, but good for you. You sound like a great person. Yeah, I'm sure it's probably just like, I mean, if, well, one, it's, OP's partner's

brother and then on top of it OP's best friend so I can see how like once you have that conversation

and he's being so like understanding and now he's being like respectful and taking accountability that then

you're like okay cool that then you kind of want to like the love that you have for this person comes out

and you're like I'm willing to make compromises too like I can see how that would happen even though it's like

her home but but I'm it sounds like Good enough. Happy ending. Good enough. Moving along. We love you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being here. Teach me your patience because I do not have this level of composure. I don't anymore. I used to. I've been like really, I've been like having thin patience lately. Super thin. Yeah. How do you expand your patience? Is that like, how do you get that back?

I don't know. This is like the first time that I've been this. like quick to get well I don't want to fly off the handle are you flying off the handle I don't want to say that either because like I definitely have had like times where I get like really really like frustrated but like I feel it kind of like boils over yeah um and like lately it just feels like like I have like somebody like not let me in when I'm merging and I'm like fuck yeah a little road rage I had did I tell you about my road rage the other day no I'll tell you about it after but I've guys already heard about it. I don't flick them off though. Oh, maybe that was on Patreon. I don't flick them off where they can see it. So I do,

I like do hold back a little bit because I don't want actual road rage. Oh yeah. It's like more internally, but I do, I flick them off under my car. I love my horn. I use my horn. No, I just like, I had one, like one experience where like, I don't know, like somebody did something stupid and like, and they ended up honking at me and I was like, you were the one who did the stupid thing. So I honked back. I just want to do this. And then she like honked at me again. And then she was like honking and like flicking me off and like just being like like like driving crazy. And in that moment I was like, oh my God, it's not worth it to have road rage. Like it's not worth it to. I can feel it inside and I can scream in my car. But like it's not worth it to like

interact with this person. No, people literally get killed over road rage. Like people are so ill. People are ill. People are ill. This next motherfucker. is definitely ill. Motherfucker. Ew. Okay, that was a little aggressive. I take it back. Okay, next story is brought to you by Ollie Wellness.

I hate feeling like an asshole in life. I like when I'm balanced in all aspects, but especially my vagina. It's where happy hoo-ha comes in. Ollie's vaginal probiotic that supports vagina health and pH balance. And this next story definitely needs something balanced out. I mean, I just warned you. I'm like, this is not okay. So let's get into

this next story. So it's coming from A-I-T-A-H, nine days old, titled Am I the Asshole for Asking My husband Not to Sneeze like that. My husband has always been a loud sneezer in the 17 years we've been married. Recently, he's begun screaming while he's, he sneezes when before he had been making a loud yell shout. I've brought it up casually that he's really loud when he sneezes and is it really necessary. He says he can't help it. Last night I was in bed with a headache right around the start of bedtime. He came in to use our bathroom and did one of his scream sneezes. I said, please don't sneeze like that. I have a bad headache. He didn't know about my headache. He became upset and said it's involuntary and he can't help it. He very sarcastically

said, I'm sorry for sneezing. A few minutes later, he came to my bedside and asked me to open my hand. He put a folded up square of toilet paper in my hand and said, quote, I'll stop bothering you with my involuntary sneezing if you will stop voluntarily leaving period blood under the the toilet seat. So, will you go clean that up right now, or should I do that for you? Whoa. I told him that I thought I had cleaned up after myself earlier. Earlier, I had asked him to bring me a new tub of Clorox wipes when I was on the toilet, and I cleaned up with that. He then said, quote, I'm really offended, because I apologized for my sneezing, and you didn't even acknowledge it. He then took his pillows and blankets and slept in.

the extra bed. This morning, he said he was sorry for getting snippy last night. I haven't known what to say about it all yet. It's all so ridiculous. And I'm wondering if I'm out of line for thinking that screaming while sneezing is not necessary. He didn't used to do this. I'm not saying that he has to stop or control the actual sneezing part. You all are insane. Wait, is this a listener? No. Okay. No, this is coming from AITAH.

Likely a random. Yeah. I don't know what's going on, but you know what? They are out of fucking whack. But what's funny is that these are like also very like innocent problems compared to other stuff that we discuss. Like, you know, it's, they're arguing over. You go ahead. You go ahead.

I'm pissed. You don't think these are innocent compared to. some of the other stuff we talk about. I'm going to shut my mouth and not interrupt you. Morgan, we've had, we've had like incest cheating stories. Okay. We have. Okay. Well, when you compare it to that. That's what I'm comparing it to. Well, you might be right there. No, I, um, I don't know what it is. I think this is a dude thing with age because my dad has become this person where he is like, uh, uh, uh, too. And it's like, it's, you don't need to sneeze like that. I, I understand, but I actually would be really upset if my partner tried to police my sneeze.

Like, how do you sneeze? I don't know. Do you scream? No. But like, I still think that, I still think I would be very upset if my partner try to police my sneeze. But at the same time, I don't know if I can judge that much because I will yell at Brian for his birth. is that is that similar

that's yep that's apples to apples so he but different font what he does though which grosses me out so much yeah you're in it I kind of feel bad for saying this like on here but like he'll burp and then he like lets his whole like body

like growl with it like oh oh disgusting and I'm like stop doing that and he's like like it's just a burp but I'm like no it's not you're making yourself like act like you're about to throw up like stop so I'm so I'm like I can also relate to her too I just I feel confused I think there's a little bit of a breakdown in their communication clearly oh I mean his

response was was crazy that's what's sending yeah can you imagine You accidentally... I'd be so pissed Like I the other morning Like I my cramps were so bad I couldn't find my heat pad I was like on the brink of like I kind of want to go to the hospital

Like my cramps were that bad Couldn't find the heat pad Justin's looking all over the house For 45 minutes I fake cleaned and I hit it somewhere Can't find it The next morning I get up And I like

Runed a pair of underwear While I was sleeping Runed them Rewend them And I And I take them off, I rinse them, and then I'm, like, getting into the shower. And before I can get into the shower, I'm, like, dropping globs of blood on the floor. You know, I don't like the periods are really bad.

I don't like glob talk. But, like, I wiped them up. I grabbed, like, our cleaning, bleachy spray, whatever the hell it is, wiped it up. But if Justin then would have came to me and been like, open your hand. Oh, yeah. I'm thinking it's a cute surprise. I'm thinking he got me a piece of chocolate to make me feel better. I don't know.

And he goes, here's a piece of paper towel for you to go wipe up your period blood, you nasty woman. Like, I'm just like, that's like how it feels. Yeah, no, I'd be furious. And so it's like, hey, I have a headache. I just kindly asked you to not sneeze like that and scream. Why are you screaming? You didn't always scream. Why are you screaming?

Yeah, I think the fact that he didn't always do that, like, do it like that. That would send me. That would send me over the ledge. So I'm like, okay, all you had to do is be like, hey, super sorry, hon, super sorry. You rest up. And if you see a little period blood around the rim, you ignore it, just like you do, the explosive diarrhea spots. You ignore it. I knew that was coming.

Sometimes you have to ignore it. Yeah. I have the grossest story, but I'm not going to out this older family member. So I'm not going to go there, but it was pretty nasty. And guess what I did? I ignored that bathroom. And guess who cleaned it the next day, Justin, because he loves me. Wow.

Yeah. Wow. That's love. That is love. Love is ignoring the nasty parts. I'm like, is the older family member me? No. Did you pee on my floor?

No. Yeah. No. I like that you, I don't know if you're keeping this in here, but me and Morgan were talking about how I now say ruin. And so I thought that was funny How you were like, Roan, ruin. I have a guest coming up

who's also from the Midwest and I'm going to compile a list of words that we say wrong and I'm going to hand them the list and see how they say that. Yes, I love that. So if you guys have any words that you want me to make them say,

please drop them in the comments. Maybe I'll like pin something. I know I said hammock weird the other day. I don't know what got into me. I don't say hammock usually. I don't think at least. I don't know. I did realize I say Toyota wrong. Oh, yeah, I saw that comment. Can't win them all. Okay. Wait, I think I say hammock. Yeah, I think I do say hammock. Do I say hammock, too? I don't know.

Oh, God. But hey, I think these people can figure it out. I think they need to communicate. I think there's a way to get back on track, get balanced, again because this just like is not going to work long term like you guys have been together 17 years and maybe this is one of those things because they've been together 17 years they're like what do we have to fight about oh I guess sneezing yeah that's period blood but hey after 17 years if your sneeze changes I want to be a little sussed out and be a little pissed I like how you try to fight me on the fact that this one is like one of the worst stories we've come across And I'm like, do you remember what we've read?

Not the worst. But like, it just, like, some of the innocuous ones just have... Erk you, because it's more like... Me and rich. Yeah, I get that. That's how I felt about one of the stories. It's like, it's so random. But, like, I'm like, it did something to me.

I don't know why. Peaked a core. Yeah. But hey, just like our relationships, sometimes vaginas can get thrown off balance, too. All he gets that. Whether it's happy hoo-ha, that empowers you to do. take charge of your vaginal health or period hero for PMS support. I period heroed it up the other day.

Like those so good for my cramps. Great timing. Nice. Great timing to have an OLLI event to go to. It was magical. But you can find OLLI supplements at retailers nationwide or at OLLI.com. Code THT30 for 30% off. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.

This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Wow. It's pretty good. Thanks, Ollie. for sponsoring that story. And we're on to the next one. Oh, I didn't even read the comments. Ah!

Top comment. My husband used to do the same thing and I told him, Great. So why isn't it involuntary in public? He's a loud smeezer in public, but no yell. I would have killed him

had we gotten to a scream stage. After that, he stopped. Not saying it would work for you and not saying it was an easy conversation. either, but it's been a lot of years now. I love the way that you're reading her. I feel like I can hear this person actually talking. I try, I try. Someone else goes, this has been my experience to the letter. My partner sneezing so loud at home, it would hurt my ears. Yet we stayed with his family for a week, and he did quiet sneezes to not make noise in their house. I clocked it immediately

because he spent years claiming that he cannot sneeze quietly. I pointed out, he was doing doing normal sneezes, and he had always denied being able to. He now sneezes normally. I'm still baffled why he was always screaming his sneezes previously. You know what it is? Can you do what? Can you just like, can you do a scream sneeze, fake one? I just like, I need to like, I need to hear it.

So my dad sneezes really loud. So let me try to channel that. I'm nervous. Like, I'm locked in. I'm listening. Uh, do! I don't want to be friends anymore. That was not it, though, because my dad was way deeper.

I was really trying to channel his sneezes. But the thing is, is that, like, if you have kids around, I will say that me and my brother would laugh so hard when my dad would sneeze. That's cute. So I think that's also why this doesn't trigger me is because I have a good memory associated with loud sneezing. That's cute. Yeah, I do not. I have been woken up so many times by my dad's loud sneezing. if you have a loud sneeze screamer can you please record them and then tag me in it on

Instagram I would like I just want to see for research like what are you dealing with but okay we're moving on to this next one okay if you are grossed out by poop please skip to the next story okay so this one is coming from R slash am I overreacting it's titled am I overreacting she's shit with me in the shower. Yes! This is bringing back to our first episode. Throwback, baby. Yes. This is the one that the episode that I would talk about to you refer people to. Yeah, that I would tell everyone what the podcast is about. Hello, long time lurker, first time poster, throw away, because I don't want this affiliated with my main. I, female 22, have been dating this girl female 21 for about

three months, and it's been great. The only red flag I've seen before this was that she was a bit messy, leaving things without putting them away, including trash. Anyways, yesterday we went to a karaoke club, got super wasted, and she spilled her drink all over us. No big deal. We went to my apartment after. We were in the shower, nothing sexy or anything. We were too drunk for that, but I remember looking down and there was a streak on the bottom of the shower and I asked her what it was. I shit you not. She said, quote, oopsie, I did a poopsie. Keeper.

And pushed the ball of shit into the drain with her toe. Oh my God. I didn't know what to say. I just kind of stood there. This chick really just pooped. I told myself that she was drunk And we could talk about it tomorrow today Fast forward to this morning

We woke up And I could not get what I saw out of my head And so I tried to keep it light And laugh about pooping Maybe try to get it into the toilet In the future And she goes on to explain That she just feels comfortable with me

And doesn't want to hide who she is anymore Whoa Whoa I asked if she poops in the shower all the time. Yeah. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. She does. No!

I asked if she could refrain from doing so in my shower. And she agreed, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. I just feel like I can't move past this and look at her the same and kind of want to break up with her. Am I overreacting? I need you to know how much more disturbing this image is for me after yesterday, unclogging our bathroom. Bathtub. What was in your bathtub? That was not poop. But my point is, is that like, so my hair is long, right? And even though I try to like, it gets in my hands and I'll put it on the side of the shower and then I clean up and throw away. Wipe it away. I clock you. Yeah, put it in the, but still

some hair falls into the drain, right? It happens. So it started filling up. And so I like got a snake and pulled it out. And it was like an actual snake in there. And like my hair was tangled up with just like like gunk, just like, and it was like white gunk. And like I don't, I don't know what all was, but I was like pulling and pulling. And it was like really gross. And I just can't imagine if my partner was pooping in there and I'm using my hands to like rope this stuff out with their poop in my. Yeah, no. Sorry. That is a safety hazard. We can have, nope, we can't have any of that. Did I, do you remember what happened at the condo when I lived with my dad? No.

Our pipes in the building, the building was old. The pipes got insanely clogged. Apparently, the upstairs neighbor was flushing wipes. There were rumors. He was also putting diapers down the toilet. Like, it was really bad. So our pipes for the whole building, like, clogged. Well, because this guy who came said he found diapers and wipes. Oh, my God. Yeah. I have a hard time believing someone would be dumb enough to flush diapers, but there's a towel in there. If there was someone dumb enough, it would be him. Full on Christmas tree. And so because everything clogged, all of a sudden,

because it went from the third floor to the second floor to the first floor, out to the sewer. Yep. So my toilet started overflowing with stuff that wasn't mine. Yeah. The pipes were so backed up. My bathtub started filling with the building's shit. Oh, my God. The night before I was supposed to record, like, my first episode.

with a big guest it was horrible horrible they had to come over to that they're like smells good in no i i i paid for an emergency plumber it was the most insane thing they came and like jetted the pipes with a huge water jet oh my god but like you're not that stuff's not supposed to be in there no like i wouldn't i don't blame you i don't think you're overreacting i think you i think you would have to break up i'm you can pee in the shower all you want yeah pee away But when you start pooping in that shower... That's where I draw the line. We're done.

We've got to have some type of boundaries here. I mean, if you accidentally shit yourself and you need to rinse off, different story. But if you're doing it continuously, there's toilets, girl. There's toilets for a reason. No, I completely agree. The fact that O.P.'s partner said that it's a constant thing, that would be very, very concerning. Yeah, I mean, she said she just feels comfortable. with me and doesn't want to hide who she is anymore.

Who she is is is shitting in the shower. I also just think it's so, it's so weird. Like, I don't care how comfortable I am with anyone. Like, why would you want to expose them to that smell? What if you had a taco the day before and there was a corn kernel in there? That's kind of a moot point, but. I just don't know why.

Like, I think I had a story with Michaela this past week, too. And there was, like, a poop story because they, I don't know what. Reddit goes through phases and poop is on the Reddit brain right now. I remember when people thought you had like a fetish? I know. I was talking to someone the other day and they were like describing their podcast. And they were like, yeah, it's a comedy podcast. We talk about diarrhea a lot.

And I go, whoa. Whoa. You got to be careful with that. People will accuse you of having a poop fetish. I don't know why. That's, like, probably one of the funniest, like, negative things anyone's ever said about the podcast. It's so, so crazy. Because I really, like, it actually freaks me out.

Like, if you knew me, like, I just find it hilarious. Well, that's why it's so funny. It's hilarious. Oh, my God. But, yeah. Top comment. You cannot spend your life with somebody that shits on the floor and mashes it down the drain with their foot. I feel like this isn't a thing.

that even needs to be verbalized. But it's how we started the podcast. O.P. responds, she just said it with such calm. I wanted to be sure. And now I feel so valid. I'm definitely breaking up with her. Wait, do they live together?

No, okay. Only dating for three months. Oh, okay. Oh, wow. Only three months. Run. Run. O.P. has since deleted their account. That's all she wrote. She's like, I don't want to be

associated with that anymore. Well, that's just like nostalgic for me. I know that sounds crazy, but like truly that I think it was either the first or the second episode that we recorded was a story where... Waffle stomping. Yeah, where this girl, I think, was like, I don't know what to do. I just found out that my boyfriend always poops in the shower. which is why after the gym he always forces me to shower first. And one day I finally was like, no, you shower first. Like, why do you, why do you always do this? And he was like, it's because I don't want you to go into the shower right after I pooped in it. And she was like, what? And I think they'd been together for like years. Like they were living together. They were living together.

Yeah, and that one. So that's fun dodged a bullet. Yeah. But that's just like for so long when I would tell people like, they're like, oh, what's the podcast about? I'd be like, well, it's like Reddit stories. like what kind like finance and I'd be like no like this girl had a boyfriend who poops in the shower so she's like what do I do and we're like I'll break up it's so vintage I um I spoke on a panel last year and it came up on the panel of like why do you have video podcast and I'm like well like I'll give you guys an example does anyone in the room know what waffle stomping is and like you saw like a couple people like slowly raise their hand They're like, do I want to admit this?

Literally. And I go, for those of you that don't know, waffle stomping is when you take a shit in the shower and stomp it down with your foot. And the room gasped. Like, jaws were dropped. And I go, that's why you have video. Yeah.

It was just like this, like, it was so powerful. It was powerful. It was powerful. Exactly. I think these next couple stories are going to be pretty powerful as well. Powerfully ill. Sick. this next one, which I'm going to be honest, okay, you guys, there is going to be the People

Are Ill theme over on Patreon with Lauren. We just read a story that it's a Patreon story. Yeah. It just does not fit on the side of things. Yeah. It's a heavy conversation and we just feel that it's better to have in a space where it's a little more communicative and people can really, like, we can intimately have a conversation, which is what we do on Patreon with a lot of the stories that we feel are too big or too heavy for the main channel. So that is now going to go over there. It is a story about a mom who's asking, am I the asshole for like still visiting my son in prison and so a really complex story. And we definitely want moms to chime in and just like have a conversation with us, but it's going to be over on Patreon. So instead, our last story before

a palate cleanser is going to be this one. Okay, trigger warning though, you guys, the story does contain talks of a very traumatic birth. So if you cannot handle that today, please go to the pallet cleanser. So it is titled, Am I the asshole if I told my husband I wanted a divorce after he made fun of how many pants I tried on? I, 30 female, had a baby eight weeks ago via a traumatic birth, 10 hours of active labor, super high fever, emergency C-section, and my son didn't breathe for eight minutes after coming out. Oh my God. I told my husband, 37 male, that I had no birth plan and I just wanted us to all get out of the hospital alive and healthy. However, I did have a very specific plan for the first 40 days postpartum that involved eating specific Chinese foods,

limiting outings, and not being cold or in the wind. I told him it was very important to me culturally and for my healing. While I was pregnant, which also had its complications, I meal prepped and froze a lot of food that I just asked him to heat up and add vegetables and make rice, and I wrote down recipes for him. He said, I got you, baby. He, in fact, did not have me. I spent the first two weeks postpartum sleeping on the couch because I couldn't get in and out of bed after my surgery, doing the whole night shift by myself every night, and not eating anything besides the fast food he would bring home. Or I would end up cooking for us. Oh my God. He told me that staying inside for 40 days was stupid. So by day 10, we were going out. I know that I should have

said no, but I was too tired to argue. We had gone to the beach day 14, and when we got there, there were 35 mile per hour winds, and my husband said, quote, let me just fish for a little and then we can go. But he disappeared down the beach with the car keys for three hours. Oh, hell no. While the baby and I sat in the wind. On day 16, he invited his sister to stay with us for a week, so I had to vacate the couch and climb in and out of our bed, still taking the whole night shift. His sister had a very similar surgery, hysterectomy earlier this year, and was telling my husband and I about the risk of hernias after surgery like ours. This was after both of them sat on the couch and watched me haul laundry to and from the garage while they watched TV.

Wow. She also demanded that we eat certain foods while she was here, that she can't get back home. And my husband door-dashed whatever she wanted to the house and or drove us all to go get food that she wanted. Meanwhile, I couldn't get him to heat up frozen food for me. Wow. She also told us about the importance of scar care after the surgery. and suggested that I get a C-section massage.

Any place I found were over $200. And I texted my husband that I felt guilty spending that much money on something so selfish. He changed the subject and didn't address my text at all. Oh. I hate him so much. I felt so incredibly hurt by this. I don't know if it was hormonal or what.

No, he's a horrible person. But him not saying anything to me, feeling guilty for wanting to do something nice. for myself made me feel so unloved and insignificant, especially because after his sister had her surgery, he talked to me about wanting to send her $10,000 of our savings to help her out with medical bills. And he didn't even acknowledge, let alone offer to pay for a $200 massage for me. Wow. After I was cleared for regular physical activity at six weeks, I asked him if it would be okay if I spent 30 minutes a day in our garage working out.

He agreed and said he would watch the baby for me. The next day, when I asked him to hold the baby for me while I worked out, and he took my son, he put him down into the baby Bjorn. The baby started crying halfway through, and I had to finish my workout while wearing the baby. He told me while I was pregnant that it was a non-negotiable for him that he continued going to the gym three times a week and started going back week four from 2 p.m. to 6 p.m.

Leaving me with the baby and having to figure out dinner. Two to six? Is there a typo in that? Holy. Oh, my. Oh, what is wrong with this guy? The last straw for me was yesterday. The last straw for me was right when you started. Right when you started talking, Morgan.

I was done. I had been with the baby all night and all morning, and he wanted to go and get lunch. So I asked him to watch the baby so I could get dressed, and I was taking longer than usual to get ready. He snarkily said to the baby, quote, Mom's got to try on six more pairs of pants before we can leave. And I lost it on him. I screamed, nothing fits me because I just had a fucking baby and I don't get to work out at all. I told him I fucking hate him

and that he should go to his parents' house Or sleep on the couch or whatever Just leave me alone He shook his head at me Like I was being irrational And I felt such rage inside of me How could he not see that I was dying? I spent the night Googling divorce lawyers

And I feel like I'm overreacting Nope, not at all Do we even update it? I'm like, let's cut to the chase where you guys do get a divorce. Come on. Fast forward to the ending. Also, like, try not to say it, try not to say it, try not to say it. Is he in love with his sister? There's definitely some interesting family dynamics.

I don't understand this. Like, I would help my siblings if they needed it. But I wouldn't help my siblings over caring for Justin. that's see that's why I'm like it's it wouldn't be odd to me if that's the person that he is but the fact that he puts a sister on a pedestal and his wife who carried his baby like gave birth to his baby and he's going to treat her like crap like that's that is so weird to me I'm just disgusted by him I'm absolutely disgusted by him and there is an edit so looking at the actual post on Reddit, the post has been removed by OP. They ended up deleting

their account. So I don't know if that's because of the comments and what they got and just like didn't want to hear it or reconfirmed what they were feeling. And then just like, I'm good. I'm delete this before it goes crazier. I do have screenshots of an edit. But would you like to get into the top comments and then talk about the edit and then really go off on this person? Or do you want to go off, edit, top comments? Or go off, top comments, edit. I think just start reading wherever you first see a word. I see many words. Just pick one and go. You're stressing me out. I'm really indecisive lately. I have decision paralysis. It is bad. So the top comment, because I do think this came before the edit.

Not the asshole. My ex once went hiking with a friend and left me alone with a four-month-old while I had a pretty serious case of the flu. That was only the beginning. Notice I said, X? These guys just don't get it. Don't want to get it. And should never marry in the first place. You are not overreacting.

You aren't dragging it out for 20 years. like I did. That's the type of wisdom I did not have. Next comment. My now ex wanted to go on a Father's Day hike. Ten days after our baby was born. Vaginal, not C-section. A hard-rated hike.

Five to eight-mile loop around a waterfall. You start at the top, so the second half is back up. We got into a massive fight because he would not slow the fuck down while I was carrying our baby upward hike. of slippery rocks and waterfalls. He put on the baby carrier and just sped off without me. Wow.

He still does not think he was wrong. Our kid is a teenager. Some dudes just don't get it. Wow. At least both of those have my now X. And someone does quote them and goes, at least some kind of happy ending. So one of the other top comments

is a hyperlink, and it says he gets it, he just doesn't care. And when you click the link, it goes to another post. It's from the 2X chromosome subreddit, titled, He Knows He Doesn't Care. My husband says he doesn't see the mess he leaves on the floor. I was end up having to pick it up. My fiance keeps grabbing my boobs randomly,

even though I asked him to stop. My boyfriend yells at me in slams doors whenever we argue. He understands, he knows. He doesn't care. He can hear you. He has a job. He attended school. When he gets pulled over by a cop, he gets his license out. He can read, he can follow directions, listen, understand consequences, and act to avoid them. He simply does not care about you. He is quite comfortable with you being unhappy, uncomfortable, burnt out, traumatized. As long as it means he gets what he wants and can keep the status quo. There isn't a special way to rephrase your feelings that will get through to him finally, or a special tactic you can use to get him to respect you. I honestly feel most women just don't understand how much disdain some men have for us on average. As painful as it is, we absolutely must come to terms with the fact that most, yes, I said most, men do not see or respect women as real people just like them, equal in value

and humanity to themselves and their male buddies. Most, meaning it's statistically more likely the guy you're dating views you as a continuum from benevolent sexism to mild dehumanization to callous indifference to veiled contempt to outright hatred. Saying, I care about you. I love you. I'm trying. I'm sorry. Does not mean those things are true. Actions make those words true. A man who cares, loves, tries, and is sorry doesn't make you rack your brain trying to find novel ways to communicate to him. Yeah. He knows. He simply doesn't care. Yep. Wow. That's such a powerful comment. Woo. And yeah, just wow. It really is like I was talking to my friend about this who had gotten out of a relationship and she was saying how she saw herself so mean to

her partner towards the end in a way that she's never seen herself. And I was like, well, he'd did a lot of crazy, awful things to you. He betrayed you a ton and you continued to forgive him and you kept trying to teach him how to love you correctly. And the thing that's so difficult is that as humans, it's like when we first start dating people, we're not showing them all our bad right away, right? So we get attached to each other early on. And then when the bad starts coming out, we're already attached to each other. So it can be really hard for us to like pull away. And so when these other sides come out, instead of just being like, I got to leave, we think we got to teach them how to love me correctly. And sometimes, sometimes I can work. But most of the time,

it's this never-ending game of making yourself crazy of just like trying to figure out what way you can communicate with them. Is it softly? Is it in the morning? Is it aggressively? Is it nicely? What is it going to be that they'll finally start like getting it and respecting me and like showing me with actions. And the answer is, it won't. You'll just end up being the worst version of yourself and screaming towards the end of the relationship until you finally are done. But sorry. No, I think that was really good. I'm just, I'm sitting here like I'm soaking it all in and I'm like, I'm just, I'm thinking because yeah, I think like if there's small issues early on, yeah, you can fix a lot of those. You can learn how to communicate. You can learn what each other needs.

from the relationship but if you get down the road to a point especially once a baby's involved and they're still not getting it you are expressing your feelings and they're still not hearing you where they just don't care then i do think it's a disconnect because love like love is work and like yeah you can choose to like put effort in and like work on your relationship each and every day i know there's a lot of relationship experts out there that like love isn't easy but for me love has not been this hard. Yeah. Like love has been very like, honestly, it has been kind of easy.

Like, have we had difficult moments early on? Yeah, we're blending two families. We're learning out how to navigate the holidays. We're learning this and that about each other. Which should happen, by the way. That should happen. That's growing. If you're not growing in a relationship, like, that's not realistic either.

Or you're going to have fights. If you're not going to have any fight. Like, there's somebody is like, keeping to themselves. Yeah. It's two humans, very complex joining lives. Yeah. You need to fight. Like Justin has always said, because I got nervous about like some big fights early on. And he was like, no, like fighting's not bad. Like you do need fights to grow. Like they can be constructive and help. But like, again, like you shouldn't feel like a broken record. You shouldn't feel like you're sacrificing, your needs being met. And you just feeling terrible because your partner really doesn't care about you.

Yeah. Even after a baby, even after you sacrifice. So let's get really into this. So what O.P. was talking about at the beginning of this whole post was called sitting the month. So this is a Chinese tradition after childbirth. It's usually about 30 days. It can be longer. And it's a confinement period. There's a beautiful Chinese way to say it. I don't even want to butcher it. Zhao Yu Z. I'm not sure. But it's essentially. sitting the month. It emphasizes rest and recovery for the mother. The mom is like supposed to have so much help. The mom actually gets like massages every day to like compress the womb and it's just this beautiful thing. They eat certain foods. They get pampered. You're not supposed to go outside. You're supposed to sit in your pajamas. You're supposed to be zen. This is like what I expect. Like absolutely. This is what I want. Yeah. This is what I need. I think every woman needs this. deserves this. Shouldn't settle for less.

The fact that he dragged her to the beach how many days after a traumatic birth and C-section? No, it's so bad. I was honestly thinking that... 14 fucking days. Yeah. And I was thinking... Two weeks.

I was thinking that he was going to spin it as like, this is so that you can get sunlight, it'll be healing. 35 mile per hour wind with a newborn baby. Three hours. disappeared with car keys in the pocket? Oh my God. I'm hitchhiking home. I'm leaving. This fucking woman went through hell. Three hours. Do you understand how long it is to sit at a beach for three hours? It's a Harry Potter movie. In a healthy world without a newborn. I don't even like being at the beach that long. Okay. Well, that's where we differ. But I do feel your anger.

Newborn. Didn't breathe for eight minutes. minutes after being born. No, it's insanity. C-section, cut open, sleeping on the couch, sleeping on the couch and doing all the night feedings without any help. This motherfuckers laying in bed getting eight peaceful hours. Unreal. I like, if you break apart every single piece of this story, working out, working out from 2 p.m. to 6 p.m. Unreal. Four hours. And she can't even get 30 minutes without the baby crying halfway through. And then she's got to wear the baby. in a fucking baby carrier, a little baby Bjorn, because he can't be bothered.

You know, like, situations like this make me sad that she can't just, like, disappear with the baby legally. Like, the fact that you have to still, like, interact with this piece of poo sucks. This is the poo that should get pushed down the drain with the toe. Toe the fuck out of this lawn. Get it out of here. I like that.

Ugh. Okay. I'm clearly very unhappy with this one. This man is ill. This man, oh, this man, what does he deserve? To date poo girl. He deserves to... Pooh girl doesn't deserve that either.

No. No. No, God, poo girl's gross, but not this bad. He deserves to be put in a big bathtub with a thousand leeches. Wow. Yeah. that's yeah that's dark that's not that dark thank you could have been way darker if macaela was here she would have came up with something really dark macaela would have killed him in detail so we have

an edit edit for clarification that's what it says we talked about every incident and he genuinely feels bad about how he behaved and has been spending more time with the baby with every talk i fully know that I'm a doormat and have been working on it with my therapist, and it was really hard for me to even express my postpartum needs with him. He does financially support us and has spent a ton of money on baby gear and gadgets that helped make nights and feeding easier for me, bottle washer, nicer pump bottles, etc. Easier for you. Yeah, there it is. Why is he not fucking helping? He's a dad. Yeah. He's a dad. That's made it. It makes two.

That's made it easier for all of us is what it should be because he should be doing that. So he wants to support the family financially, but not emotionally, not physically. He wants to have a puppy. He wants the cute little puppy baby. Like, God. Oh. And since the beach day, he's greatly decreased our outings with the baby. He has also been holding the baby at night for a couple of hours from 9 p.m. to whenever he goes to bed.

I don't forgive him. He's also been on paternity leave this whole time. Wow. Just throw your computer into the wall. Burn the Christmas trees down. Sorry, guys. Light this place on fire. I read that right.

I read... Yeah. He's also been on paternity leave this whole time. So he's not working? Justin. come here and he's getting eight hours of sleep and he's not feeding the baby he can't he can't even hold the baby for 30 minutes while you work out meanwhile he's on paternity leave and gets four hours to work out oh well he's decreased the outings you and your fucking baby shouldn't be

going anywhere you're supposed to be sitting the month sit the month he can't even heat up a microwavable meal that she already meal prepped and froze. Someone give this man of a septomy so he can't do this again or to anyone else. I like the fire in you. Yes. I'm going to fucking get myself canceled with what I want to. That's so bad. That's so bad. Can you help? I just, um, I don't know what to do. I feel like I've lost you. Like you're in a different, you've, you've, you've gone somewhere i'm in the inside yeah inside out movie yeah i'm the little red man oh my god the red man she's a actually i think anger i think little red i think little red guy the little okay that's who i am yeah i am him he is me wow anger um she's not done oh after the whole he's been on paternity leave

this whole time also i don't have any family i can stay with right now and my friends have all recently moved out of state. That's so tough. Isolation. Oh my God. There's another update. That was the edit. We have an actual update.

I don't know if mentally I can handle it. Update. We talked this morning and he said that I'm punishing him for things that happened months ago and that it's unfair that I won't forgive him or see his support in other ways. He said that I'm the problem and that I always need someone to be. be angry with. I brought up his sister and he dismissed it as me needing to compare my life with other people. I told him I feel like I ask for so little and that he's not listening to me. And he said, I just fixate on everything he doesn't do. Yeah, because he doesn't do shit. So classic. I just feel so

unseen. He said he would love to give me time to go do things I want to do, quote, except you. you don't have any hobbies. He said, if I gave you two hours right now, what would you go do? And I said, I have to clean the bathroom and do laundry. He said, I'm allowed to treat him like shit when I'm hungry and sleepy, and he always forgives me. I do get very standoffish and short when I'm both hungry and sleepy, but I can't forgive him for something he did so long ago. We're speaking a little in riddles. towards the end here

what did he do so long ago did he cheat is he at the gym four hours every day or is he with a girlfriend I feel like she's trying to say so long ago as in the two because he started off saying that like

she can't let it go from how he acted right after the birth I don't know a little bit of a riddle here at the end but um I mean the comments just go crazy like it's again and again just like please be done like please be done like this you're already a

single mom like oh he says if I gave you two hours what would you do and it's like I'd clean the bathroom that's so messed up that he said that too like you don't have any hobbies so you don't deserve time yeah literally it's like none of your business bitch I'll sit in a corner and stare at a wall rather than be next to you for two hours you asshole I would take a nap and that is perfectly acceptable yeah consider i'm doing everything else i maybe i would have some hobbies if you weren't such an incompetent piece of shit yeah maybe then i'd have some hobbies i love that maybe i would have the peace of mind being able to leave our child with you yeah knowing that you weren't going to pop it in a baby bjorn and then not be able to handle them when they're crying yeah can't even

work out for 30 minutes because you're so incompetent i wish you could say this to him how can we somehow get this message delivered to his face. I don't know. And I don't think we're going to get any updates past this. I mean, O.P. deleted their whole account. Like, I just hope that, like, if anyone out there hears this,

like, this isn't okay. Someone can provide for you financially, but they should still be expected to be a parent. 100%. Like, you both committed to having children. Like, you both signed up for that. Yeah. I actually just saw someone post recently about when you are talking about kids with somebody that you're dating

to really dive in and ask all of these detailed questions. Like, how do we divide up responsibilities? Like, what do you think for, like, punishment if, like, a child's doing something that's not appropriate? Like, like, actually asking all these questions beforehand will give you so many answers. It's so important. And I just think I've never even considered that. I like when I was dating didn't even consider really like asking people if they wanted kids like unless they said I don't want kids then I just was like oh I just assumed like I don't I don't know I didn't I just didn't really ask those type of questions and I just think it's like such a good idea to do so because I mean obviously O.P like you you know you got your baby like out of this marriage and so that's wonderful but like this guy is probably not your guy long term and the

fact that he only temporarily started acting better and then went right back to being like you don't notice any of my good things. You're just calling out my bad things. Like that's- Starvotes. He's deflecting and putting it back on you. Exactly. I also am getting now like kind of hearing more too. Like I'm getting some financial abuse. Like you should have been able to just go and buy that $200 massage. Yeah. You just had a baby. Truly. It's like the least that you deserve. Oh, so frustrating. Like you shouldn't have to ask to go spend $200 on yourself after having a baby for both of you. So I'm getting a lot of red flags.

So if this is ringing any alarm bells for you guys, like, please know you deserve better. This is not not it. I don't think I've been this distraught from a story in quite some time. No, I literally, like I said, I lost you for a minute. I don't know if you even knew I was here, to be honest. Justin's like sitting over there like I don't know what he's doing I didn't read this fully video game or something I didn't read it fully like again like I'll read some of the titles and then get to a certain point and I'm like yeah it's good enough okay this is really this juicy I didn't

I sure shit didn't read the update like yeah Justin I know Justin popped in for this like last little bit he's like not reacting at all to anything and like his he doesn't have your Take? Do you want here? Come in. Come here. It's not too late. Come here.

Come here. Come give your celib take. Please be the male voice of reason. I was just making jokes. I don't want Morgan to punch you. Oh, yeah. I'm definitely not coming over that. Did you hear?

Did you hear me say that? He's so happy playing his little bit. I said, Jesse, come here. We need a face to punch. No one's going to punch you. It's just a joke. Okay. He's going to come in for a celebrity take.

I'm going to move. And then we will have the pallet cleanser. I've never been this, like, razzled before. Razzled dazzled. I mean, am I the pallet cleanser? Yeah. Is that why I'm here? Yeah.

I don't know why I'm here. Because the people like seeing you. You're a friendly face. Yeah, that's cool. I'm here. Hi. But, like, I don't know why I'm. They're going to have to go a whole week, maybe even two weeks without seeing you. But now they get to see you because you jumped in.

You know, I had part in the trees. So, yeah. great. I'm, like, scared. I have, like, stage fright. I have anxiety right now. I feel I'm prepared. Morgan's face is behind the camera. It's great, too. This is going off the rails, guys. It's great. It's an G episode. We've been off the rails.

Two hot rails. I offered, I offered prior to this story to sit right there with a mic in my hand, and no one seemed excited about that, so. I didn't know that. It feels like I'm being, like, thrown in at the end, like, here you go. Charity. You said it too quietly. We didn't hear you.

No, it was, it was hurt and acknowledged. Do you have any Christmas? My face turning red yet? Any Christmas plans? Seeing family, friends. This is going downhill quick. Okay. Any thoughts on the story?

I don't know the story. Okay. Okay. But, here, here, but, okay, here we go. Here here. Here, here. Four score 20 years ago. Here we go with the palate cleanser, my friends.

Because we are certainly not going to end on that note. So, this is titled, My Dentist Asked Me Out, Not Sure What to Do. It's not in my spreadsheet. It sounds familiar, but it's not there. So here we go. I went to a grocery store over the weekend and saw my dentist, which was a little. a little weird, but she recognized me and came up and said hi. We had a little chat, and it was nice because human contact is so non-existent nowadays. Then she said she had to go and asked for my

number. I figured she needed it for dentistry reasons, if I'm being honest, but I probably should have figured out it wasn't for that. Anyways, after I got home, she started texting me with casual stuff. Eventually, we talked about how I'd never read Harry Potter or seen the movies, and she said, Did you pick this one for me specifically? Yeah, a lot of them I picked just for you today. And she said, quote, we could grab some food and I'll watch them with you, followed by, if you want, about five minutes later. I haven't responded, and it's been 30 minutes. If she wasn't my dentist, it would be an absolute yes. She's hot and she's fun to talk to.

I know we share a couple of hobbies too, which is always nice. On the other hand, I'm 90% sure they aren't supposed to ask their patients out. I always thought she was being a little flirty sometimes, but like I said, I don't think they're supposed to do that. So I never took it as flirting.

So I guess what I'm asking here is what the hell do I do? I don't want to cause problems with her. career, but I also would really like to date her a lot. Find a new dentist, idiot. Boy brain versus girl brain. Come on. Love of your life. Oh my God. Over finding a new dentist? Over a once a year that you probably go in every other year, let's be honest. I'm sorry, what? I'm talking to the guy. How often do you go to the dentist? I don't know, like twice a year. Okay, yeah, you're good. I'm like, Warren, you're supposed to be going every six months, girl. I know. I actually should be going every quarter because I have gum issues, honestly.

I don't have dental insurance and going every six months is cheaper than spreading it out longer because then you get a cavity and cavities cost way more to fix. Makes sense. Anyone needs a good dentist around the L.A. area, Dr. Bradley. Matthew. Don't. Don't overbook him. because I still need to go there. I know I was going to say that's risky. He's just such a good dentist, like, such a good dentist. He's incredible.

I, like, went somewhere here when I first, like, needed a dentist out here because mine in Minnesota retired. This dentist told me I need, like, four crowns. I had seven cavities. I went to him, and he's like, you're fine. You need one crown. That's it. I'm like, con artist, savior.

Like, he's so good. So I get, in that breath, I'm like, okay, I get, finding a good dentist and not wanting to lose them. But Harry Potter and Love of Life and Hot and similar hobbies, it's a no-brainer. It's a no-brainer. So top comment, it's easy to find another dentist, but it's hard to find a good wife. Also, it's not worthy to mention how up close she has been with him. She already has an intimate relationship with his mouth and still had the balls to ask him out at the supermarket. Bravo, madame.

Yeah. Someone goes, you fucking go out with her and eventually become her trophy husband. What the fuck is wrong with you? Say yes. Someone does decide to quote the ethics code from the American Dental Association to point G, personal relationships with patients. Dentists should avoid interpersonal relationships that could impair their professional judgment or risk the possibility of exploiting the confidence placed in them by a patient.

She could lose her license for becoming sexually involved with an active patient. Yeah, I know they just, they need to not be. I mean, as long as she's not a bad dentist, it's not like, just because she's sleeping with him, I feel like that would incentivize her more to do good dentistry work. It just not doesn't work that way. Okay. No, I'm just kidding. I know that.

But, okay, we do get an update. You knew it was coming, right? You said palate cleanser, so yes, I was like, there better be an update. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. All right, geez, I'll say yes. Sorry. That's really nice. I'm really, really happy for them.

Sorry. That was a really great episode, guys. No, that's cute. Okay, what else happened? Is that it? No. Okay. Edit number two. Oh, my God.

Haven't raccooned in a while. No, it's actually making it look like you have like a glitter. It's pretty. It's beautiful. Yeah. Add it too. We're going to watch Harry Potter on Friday. Just need to decide what kind of food to order. Thank you for pushing me to say yes. I honestly probably would have turned her down. Aw. Update. Three days later. I know it's a different account. Got an auto mod message telling me I had to make a throwaway account. So here I am. I don't understand the rules. Oh, it's annoying. Anyways, the update that two whole people asked for. Me and you. Checking in. Yes.

We got together. Had some food and watched Harry Potter. That's about it, to be honest. In all seriousness, we hit it off pretty quickly. I kind of feel like we were already friends anyways. We usually talk a lot during appointments while she's getting all of her tools ready and such. So I know a little about her already, but not being in that setting made it easier to talk to her for sure. Yeah. Also confess to a bunch of stuff, found out she's had a crush on me since my first appointment two years ago and she was trying to figure out how to ask me out for a while.

Also got to hear how she would purposefully try to get a light schedule when I was coming in so she could go slower and we'd have more time to talk which I think is the cutest thing I've ever heard.

A girl actually wanted to spend more time with me on purpose. Another thing, I thought there were three Harry Potter movies, not hundreds, but we got through two of them. and have another date set up for tomorrow, so I'm not complaining.

Also, I had to take all of the tests, so in case you're interested, Ravenclaw, and I have a Woodmouse Patronus. She seemed happy with that. Don't know why, but she's in Ravenclaw, too, so I'm sure that has something to do with it. And lastly, the entire reason I made my last post. I talked to her about it, and I do need to find a new dentist, which kind of sucks, but it's understandable and worth it. Not like I'll be missing her or anything because I can just talk to her whenever now. Unfortunately, until all the dentist swapping is dealt with,

we are just friends. But we both made it clear that we want to be something more spicy than that when we can. This might be too much information for some of you, but if I didn't include it, someone would ask, so no, we didn't have sex. and no puns about oral were made. We were making out, and she stopped it.

She felt uncomfortable doing anything with someone that was still a patient, so we just cuddled and watched the movies instead, and I drove her home afterwards. Honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. Oh, I'm like giddy. It was probably the best first date I've ever had. Aw, I love being on this journey with you. So cute.

That's awesome. I'm just like, this is so far. funny. So anyone who follows me on Instagram probably knows that I'm watching Harry Potter for the first time through. I just finished last night. And like, I'm floored. You've seen it all right? Yeah. Yeah. I had no idea. Like when I was little, I watched the first three movies when they came out in theaters. And you thought that's all there was. Well, I just didn't like, I didn't piece them together. I kind of thought that it was like these kids that would do these little side quests and then solve it and then, you know. He was like the box car kids.

I don't know what that is, but sure. But no, it's just like, well, I didn't mean it like that. It's a book. He used to read them in like elementary school. Well, that's what I thought Harry Potter was, apparently. But I just like, I couldn't believe one, how sad it was in the other movies. I never expected that. I didn't think anyone would die.

I thought they were like kids movies. And I also just didn't know it would all tie together, like the way that it everything all of a sudden started making complete sense. And I just thought it was so magical. And I love fantasy and I love magic type stuff. So I just thought it was so fun and I can't believe it's been so long. And I just think it's really cool that I got to experience that. And I don't know what to do now. That's like what I had been looking forward to is like watching more. And now I just feel kind of like what now? Have you seen, it's a show called The Discovery of Witches? No. I think you start there. Okay. The white queen. I love. Love the white queen. Oh, maybe you start there.

Okay. Start there. Okay. The white queen. It's all I got. People are ill. I'm ill after that. My brain, I feel like I have brain rot. I'm like, what? What did I just put us through? I actually feel less ill. Okay, y'all, Lauren wants this. Spoiler alert. If you haven't seen hair, Harry Potter yet, goodbye. This is where we end for you. Yes. Love you. Thank you for being here. Yes. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, that was a great palate cleanser. I will say the other day when you posted a picture of Dobby, the elf. Oh my God. I was like, damn, she's going to be wrecked. I was wrecked. I was so pissed. I can't even, oh, he's a free elf and then bam, done.

Unbelievable, honestly. Sorry, spoiler if you haven't seen Harry Potter. I was going to say you should probably add a spoiler before that. You've had plenty of chances to see Harry Potter at this point. If somebody, like I, no one ever has spoiled Harry Potter for me, which is so cool. I don't know how you got to experience that and Game of Thrones in Modern Day without any spoilers. I don't know. Make that make sense. I don't know. And you know what's so crazy is like I, I truly did not know what happened to the point that I started thinking Harry Potter was going to die.

Oh, yeah. I was like, yeah, especially when he's in that white room. Yeah. Like he's, I don't, I also, I feel like I need to like give a spoiler again. like can you put a spoiler like right before this insert spoiler please yeah okay we'll put a spoiler in for you okay okay amazing thank you okay it's all we got friends uh Lauren will be on a Patreon episode this month Michaela's episode just dropped we've got one coming with Justin all about wedding drama and holy smokes since we did the wedding episode until now the most insane

wedding stories have actually dropped that I'm like, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. I want to do three more wedding episodes because people are losing their minds. But we can't. Well, we could, but I won't. I won't do that to you. So there will be a good one over on Patreon, but thank you for being here. Another episode, another week, another year. I mean, we're coming up to Spotify's wrapped and I'm like, I'm just feeling so blessed, so grateful. I just appreciate all of you. I appreciate all my amazing guest co-hosts. It's just been a wild, wild, wild year, and I'm just beyond thankful. So thank you.

If you noticed this episode, we have holiday trees on set, getting very festive. These trees are going to be looking for a new home very soon. So if you live in the L.A. area and you need a Christmas tree this season, please comment on the Instagram or YouTube. I'm trying to make sure people can get some trees. Cute. Let me know. How are you going to arrange that?

They're going to send me a message and then I'm going to send it to them in an Uber. Seems easy enough. Love that. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. Something special. That's cute.

Maybe if I have time, maybe I'll drive it over to you if you're close. But how'd you come up with this idea? It's on the top of the brain. You like that. Yeah. It's cute. I know. These trees, let me tell you, me and Justin, were fluffing them.

last night, my hands are raw. Raw, Lauren, raw. It's like the tinsel. I don't know. It's a thing. But thank you guys. Love you. And until next time. Until next time. Bye. Thank you.