Two Hot Takes - 257: Odd Layers.. Ft. The Basement Yard

Episode Date: February 26, 2026

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Joe Santagato & Frank Alvarez from The Basement Yard! You guys have been waiting for this one, and I hope we delivered. We have a bunch of stories that have odd layers we're trying to peel back and sort though. For example a guy who used their Scrub Daddy as a liter box cleaner, a woman who doesn't want her future BIL at the wedding, a homicide detective that treats his partner like a suspect, and a very special "where's the beef" shirt. Can't wait to see how you would handle these ones! Checkout Joe, Frank & The Basement Yard!! : https://www.youtube.com/@TheBasementYard https://www.thebasementyard.com/ https://www.instagram.com/thebasementyard/?hl=en Partners: State Farm: Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with the Personal Price Plan! Bonus Content on Patreon including FREE stories: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ NEW MERCH:  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://shop.twohottakes.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Send us a letter? Our PO Box!! Two Hot Takes. 5042 Wilshire BLVD. #470. Los Angeles, CA 90036  WRITE IN TO US!!! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Index: 00:00 -- Start Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Okay. You can hum the intro today if you want. I don't know the intro. It's crazy. We know it, obviously. Frank, you do it. Hit it. I mean, why don't we do it together?

You'll listen and you'll get there eventually. We will. Yeah, that's fine. Are you guys ready for today? I'm very ready. Yeah. I'm so excited to have you guys. People that are watching are already probably screaming in their cars, their house, wherever they are.

Because they've been begging for you guys. Have they? Wow. Hands and knees. Oh. Yeah, first of all, take it easy. Second of all, whatever the response is, is not enough. So I hope that they just ramp it up a little bit.

Hands and knees wasn't enough? What else do you want them to do? Let's throw offerings at our feet, maybe, you know. Oh, okay. Offerings. What would be your ideal offering? It's a great question. Man, I mean, I don't hate tropical fruit.

I knew it would come in the form of food. Yeah, yes. A tropical fruit would be great. Pineapple is supposed to be a really nice gift. I don't care about that Is that something with swingers That's swingers It is

It is don't lie You know it upside down pineapples Upside down pineapple In your cart at the grocery store indicates swinging Allegedly I heard on like I'm talking about

I don't know why I'm so passionate about swinging I am not Apparently on like cruise ships Like cruise ships Like cruises If you put like a pineapple On your door

It means like come on in You know what I mean Welcome Yeah Yeah. And that goes tenfold. So people bring their own pineapple decorations on the cruise? Wouldn't shock me?

Yeah. I've never been on a cruise, so I don't. I haven't either. No. I kind of refuse. I've seen the Titanic. Norovirus. Oh, that one too.

I watched the Titanic on my flight yesterday. Nice. It's a great movie. It holds up. It actually is really good. I went to the Titanic Museum. That's what you did, where it was built. In Belfast.

Yeah. Are you into the conspiracy theories, though, that the Titanic didn't sink, it was actually its sister ship, the Olympia. Have you gotten into that? What would be the point of the, you know, I'm sure there is a point. Insurance fraud.

Oh, okay. That's actually, that's a great point that I didn't think of it. No, I think it went down. I mean, all the, like, there was, like, famous people on that ship who died. Well, that's another conspiracy theory. They didn't know that it was the Olympia.

They thought it was the Titanic. Oh, I mean, does it matter? Yeah, why would they bamboozle people in the 1910s? Insurance money. Yeah. And then the banking thing, like, that's when the Federal Reserve was founded right after that. And the three people that opposed it, the big other banky people that opposed it, died on the ship. Oh, I like this.

And the last one, the fourth guy that was supposed to be on it, canceled right before he didn't go. So it sounds like you're into the conspiracy theory and you want us to kind of be in it with you. I'm kind of in it. I'm kind of in it. I like it. You're there. You're right on conspiracy. You involve a bank and I just believe it, to be honest with you.

Because if it's the bank's involved, then yeah, we probably sunk down. thing. I mean, I don't know about us. It was probably like the British or someone. I don't know. We weren't, like the U.S. wasn't evil yet. The British. Actually, they had some evil stuff going on. Frank, we were founded on evil. I was going to say, I feel like, we've been evil since the jump. Yes, it's been. Yeah. It's been an evil all the time. Yeah. You know? It's a hot start. I know, 250 years this year and I'm like, well, it's not looking too hot. Wow. We're getting into that conversation. No, no, this is supposed to be fun. Are you sure? 250 years.

Crazy. It feels young. I mean, not by Hollywood standards. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Do you wish you could live forever? No.

No, no. No. Do you wish you could live forever? These existential questions always freak me out because then on my drive home, I'm going to think about it, and it's going to ruin the rest of my day. I don't know if I would want to live forever, but I would live to like 120. I would take like 150, 175. Something like that would be a good cat. That's a lot, guys.

I think that, yeah, but I think that, like, I would be really sad once you're, like, none of my friends or whatever around. Yeah. I could probably do, like, 20 years of that, but then I'd be like, bro, just... Yeah, no, it's my time. I don't know. That's why 120, like, backs. Give me, like, an okay 75, and then the back 10 is just miserable. I'm very content with that.

That's so bleak. That is. I mean, that's also so realistic. A decade of misery? You're halfway there right now. First of all, why do you have to put it like that? That's great. The drive home is going to be insane.

I'm so sorry. It's going to be silent. It's not your fault. It's technically it is. It is 100% my fault. You don't know. The last 10 years are going to be the best. You and your wife, you're going to be in a nice little assisted living place together.

The most sex is in assisted living homes and nursing homes. STD rates there climb. They don't use protection at all. I mean, is there a point? They can't get pregnant, apparently. Allegedly. But if I'm 80, give me the clap. What do I care?

You'll bring your little pineapple decor to the nursing. You think I'm swinging at 80? Bro, why not? If I'm 80 and like hurt? You know me. I get said in my ways. You think by 80 I'm going to be like, let's just switch this up. I mean, I don't think so. Maybe you could be a completely different person. You never know.

I'll be, I, my plan is at 80 to just be like wheeled around slightly problematic with my opinions, you know, because at that point things will, you know, societal norms will change to the point where I have to be like, well, back in my day.

That's the natural progression of, you know, of life. So I'm hoping. And then, you know, I've eaten too much luncheables to really have a good, like, gastrointestinal thing going on. Can I drop a hard lunch? Yeah. A hard lunch? A hard lunch?

Can we drop a hard lunch? No, but now I'm very concerned about your colon health. You and me both. Yeah. Hmm. We should talk about colonoscopy's after this. We don't need to. Colon cancer awareness month is coming.

I mean, listen, I am aware of my colon, and I think I'm doing okay. You're okay? I didn't expect to talk about my colon today. Scoped. Scoped. Scoped. You've been scoped? I have received some scoping. Some scoping. Okay, so you're on a good track?

They're keeping an eye out on things. You know, it's like the landlord that checks in every now and that opens the doors, like, everything all right? You're on. You're on it. You're on it. I like this for you. Someone here. Needs to start. Yeah, I gotta go up this year.

Mm-hmm. It's time. Yeah. It's time. He said he's only gonna do it if they use like the old-timey, like, fireblower thing, if they put it in there and then they use that. You know what I'm talking about? Do they...

A flamethrower? No, no, no. You know, like the one in the old cartoons where it has like... You were fan of flame. Yeah, like you fan of flame. Oh, yeah. What is that? It's like for fires.

It is. It's a fire. It's like a... Flammer. Fluff. No. What's that called? It's like a bagpipe, almost, but for fire.

It's like a, I don't know what it is. Here's the thing. You don't need to look it up. We can just call it something and say that's the name of it. Frank's insinuating that I'm going to put that into myself and blow up my colon. I don't think you're going to put it into yourself, but someone will be behind you. Someone will be doing it. I cannot.

I don't even know what you Google to find this. It's not coming up. Google, we're very good. It's a flame fan. Fire pump old timey. Don't type in what he's saying. I feel like it's going to work. though.

Fire pump? Old timey fire pump. It's not a pump. It's not coming up. Air pump fire full time. It's like a flame fan. Yeah. And it's like an accordion.

Like an accordion. Yeah. You said a bagpipe. It's similar vibes though. Like. Yeah. Okay. Okay, cool.

What a start. I know. I don't know where we're at right now. I didn't take any Adderall. I haven't taken Adderall in years. I was going to take some today to like try to be more on top of things. and then my tooth broke yesterday and my life has just been like crazy since

and I don't know where we're at but I should actually introduce you guys because I'm horrible at doing that and I want to make sure we do you we do justice and we do it right Hi guys, I'm Morgan, welcome to another episode of two out takes today I've got the basement yard guys, Joe and Frank

Hello, thank you for having me so much pause for applause. I'm really into the blankets, it's very cozy and I wore my cozy sweater too so I'm extra goes. Yeah. We didn't talk about making sure we wore the same colors, but... You coordinated very well. We, it was completely accidental, which

just... If I had my feet up, I'm falling asleep. Yeah. We have a box for you if you like one. I'm doing my best. Don't put me down. FDR impression right now. Yeah, you look great. I can see you in the camera. Do I? Yeah. Oh, wow. I got my belt. Can I say something? No. Your knees look huge. Please don't talk. I think it's the pattern. It's the pattern.

It's the pattern. Look at how big that knee look. It's an obstacle. It's an insane knee. It's an Like, I could do this. Yeah, dude. It looks like you're wearing knee pads. Oh my gosh. Thanks for having us. I'm so excited to have you guys.

Let's dive in. Sure. This episode of Two Hot Takes is presented by State Farm. It can be hard choosing the juiciest story for you guys on this podcast. And if you need help making a choice, State Farm helps you choose the coverage that matters most to you. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, state farm is there. Prices are based on ratings plans that vary by state.

Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts, and savings, and eligibility vary by state. My listeners told me that you don't like poop. See, why is that like, why is that like? Why is that where we're starting? He hates poop. He doesn't like burping, farts. Don't like bodily functions put on display.

I think that they're atrocious. How do you feel about cats? Love cats. Okay. This will be an interesting juxtaposition. Pooping cats. I mean, like, animal poop, whatever. Like, they don't know what they're talking about.

They're idiots animals. So, like, I kind of accept animal poop, but, like, humans that should know better about talking about their own fecal matter, bodily functions, they suck. This first one is coming from True Off My Chest. It is Four Days Old, titled, I Just Found out My Boyfriend Uses Our Dish Sponge to Wash the Cats dirty litter box. I'm going to throw up. Already no. Wait a second. Like that's against the rules, one. Hold on. There should be a, can I also say that if you do have an animal and there's things that you need to clean in your house, there should be a separate brush that we are all aware of so that we can clean those things.

But my question is, if you're cleaning, the soap should kill whatever the bacteria is. Don't start with it. So then why would you use one toothbrush for everyone in your house? I mean, maybe. I wouldn't mind doing it. You're disgusting. Why? It's my wife and my children.

No, dude. There are just some lines you don't cross. I mean, but like toothbrush is different because, like, you're not, like, sanitizing your toothbrush? Oh, my God. Let's give you a little more details because this is just, I'm, like, nauseous. now. I regret this choice. So I asked my boyfriend to clean the cat's litter tray today, and I watched and kind of helped him with it. When he was in the kitchen, I saw him washing something. I asked him if he was doing the dishes, only for him to tell me, no, I'm washing the sponge,

so there's no litter in it. We use that sponge for dishes, our glasses, my fancy baking equipment. It's a dish sponge. I was in disbelief, so I asked, you mean the scrub daddy? The dish sponge? He confirmed, yeah, our scrub daddy. I instantly told him not to do that, and he asked me why not. I told him because he was just cleaning cat pee with it. He told me, but I'm washing the litter out. What else am I meant to be washing it with? I don't know, a hand towel, a cloth, a kitchen roll. I told him a cloth, and he said the ones we own can't really be washed. I told him I'm buying us a new sponge, and I threw the old one away. He seemed very defensive and is out and away with his mates for a drink. I'm now sitting at home, feeling so sick to my stomach, I can feel bile in my throat.

He's washed the cat's litter tray twice before this. This means it won't have been the first time he's used our dish sponge to clean a dirty litter box. Our dishes have been washed with a cat pee scrub daddy on multiple occasions prior to my knowledge, and I've been none the wiser. I cook, he does the dishes. You really can't trust anybody else's food, even in your own home, apparently. Oh, my God.

I mean, I'm not into this at all. There's so much that we can take away from this. First of all, are you okay with that? I think we need to, the person that submitted this, we need to check their vitals, their health, because what if this is just a shining example of someone that is like in the best health of their life, best shape of their life?

How is this where your mind goes? And then maybe it has to do with the fact, like there is a clear link and difference between what this person is doing and other people. Maybe the cat piss is like a secret ingredient. So you're okay with this? Okay is a stretch. What about toxoplasmosis? See, but I don't know what that is, so it doesn't exist. What's toxic fibmosis?

It's this, like, bacteria that cats can often harbor, and it's really bad. It's an infective parasite. Oh. You can get it from eating undercooked meat as well. It did sound like a really delicious brunch drink. That doesn't sound like something that's a cool sounding thing to have.

Progosis mimosa. What happened? That's not good. I had infectoprosmosis. That's like an 80s hair metal band. What is it called? What is it again? Toxoplasmosis.

Toxo. Toxos not good. Toxin. That also sounds like a Ninja Turtle villain. Yeah, it does. I don't hate it. Yeah, it's really bad if you're pregnant. That's why pregnant people

aren't even supposed to clean litter boxes because it can cause like birth defects. Like, it's very serious. We should get dogs then. Yeah. The only difference between a dog and a cat is that the cats have a litter box that's like three by three and the dog's whole apartment or houses the litter box. Dude, and dog owners are like, I feel like to generalize, sorry.

Dog owners are like less tidy than cat owners. Like dog owners constantly don't pick up their dog's shit and it's disgusting. I'm picking it up. And it's outside. What are we talking about here? It's not in the apartment. He picks it up and he sniffs it. I just went to a condo building the other day and there was dog shit right in the lobby.

Here's the thing. Well, that's insane. I know. That is craziness. They didn't come back and pick it up. Well, we should go back and put a bullet in his head. Was that New York or was that elsewhere? Los Angeles.

Yeah. Oh, are we too cool to pick up dog. People bring their dogs everywhere too and it's to the point where like service dogs are getting disrupted while they're trying to do their job because of everyone else's little pet. I got Coco barking and shitting down the aisles at the grocery store. Can't have that. I just, so you're, so you're.

against service dogs. That's not what I said. He's not listening. I said service dogs are great and they're just out there trying to do their job and they're getting attacked by the average pet that people are bringing to the store in line and saying it's a service dog.

As a dog owner, I am not a fan of people bringing dogs where they're not supposed to be. I think you can kind of get away with like a brewery if there's an outdoor area, but that's it. The grocery store grosses me out. The grocery store is, it's an animal.

Like, literally someone with this big-ass doodle, like, it was a sheep-a-doodle, so it was really, really tall. Oh, God. And it was, like, smelling all the food. It was licking pastry items in the bakery. Like, no. What? And they're big mops of, and again, this is as a dog owner. Who's got a fuzzy dog?

It's hairy. You have a doodle, don't you? I have a doodle. Yeah. And, I mean, he's got a lot of hair. So, like, even when he's outside or, you know, just walking up stuff. He's picking up stuff. He's a mop of the, of the, of the, of the, he's got him.

shit, you can't bring them around. He's dirty. Food and stuff. It's like people that drop food in their beards. Yeah. By your dog, like, that's your dog. You can't have people with long beards in the supermarket rubbing it all over the boxes.

You know what I mean? You would not like that. There's also a part of this story that we're completely ignoring. Okay, yeah, let's get back to the cat. Yeah. We are also ignoring the fact that this guy is, first of all, men are, like, just like stupid, you know? And that's coming as, he's a dog owner.

I am a man. and this is a classic example of like, I told him to clean and he's just like, all right, I'm going to do it. You got it like, you got to like, weren't you just advocating for like this isn't a big deal? It isn't a big deal because of things like toxic prognosis. I've never heard of that. So like I said, it didn't exist. But also, if I convict them blame for a quick second, you got to know you're dealing with dumb creatures here.

So like you need to tell them a little more like, by the way, here's something, here's what you should. used to clean it. Now, he also could be a prick and he could have been using some, you know, classic like a, what's, what's it, a weaponized negligence or something like that? Weaponized incompetence. That's it. That's what I was, that's what I was getting. That's what I'm thinking, because she's like, he's out with his mates, which first of all, British, 100%. Yeah. So, we're Australian. No, they would say, like, they say mate. Do they use pint down there, down under? I think it's like, since the toilets go the opposite way, they don't call it a pint. They call it a cask.

No. That's incorrect. No, like he went to get a pint. Yeah, I think this is British. This is, we could, you know, there's someone in London eating cat shit with their stuff. I, I, again, I am, so I have something like this. Okay. So. You have lactoprosmosis.

No, I don't have that. What I have is these three brushes. Okay. That are next to my sink in order to use to clean dishes. but there's one brush in particular that is like separate from those, that that is just for the dog bowls. So if we're cleaning the dog bowls, it's going to be that one,

not the ones that we're using. Yeah. Obviously. But like, I would never, I mean, like, I mean, you know me too. If I leave a plate out and like I forget to put a plate in the dishwasher and then I'm away for the weekend and I come home, I'm throwing the plate out. Because I'm like, too much time with this being out and maybe there's some mold and I just can't get over it. I'm throwing the plate up.

He has, we've talked about it a lot on our show. He fully, like, I was there when it happened threw out a whole dishwasher's worth of, I did. Cutlery and plates and bowls. I made a penny all of vodka, and I, like, you know, you kind of, like, wash the dishes

before you put it in the dishwasher, and I put it in, and I closed it, and I forgot to start it, and then I was away. So when I came back, I saw that there was some mold. I was like,

I'm throwing it all out. Well, why didn't you give it a chance in the dishwasher? It was already there. You could have at least given it like a pity wash. And they donated it. Because I threw out all the dishes and then I ran the dishwasher like four times with nothing in it just to get it super clean. So germs are a big deal for you. It's like they are and aren't.

Like it's, I don't know why with dishes that's where I am. And also like toothbrushes like I'm not into that. Yeah. If you dropped to Snickers on the floor, would you eat it? Hell no. See, I would. You would eat it? If it was a car...

Like a five-second rule. If it was my carpet in my house, I would eat it, obviously. It depends on how hungry I am. Yeah. For a Snickers? Or like a baguette. Like something good. A baguette.

Where are you? Just walking around. They're just, oh my God, we dropped our baguette. Pick it up. If it's on the street, the raw ground, no. No, not a sidewalk here, for sure. But like in your own home. A sidewalk where?

I don't know. Like a cleaner Like a Vienna sidewalk I'm like just thinking Like if I bought a fresh croissant From like a little pastry place And it just falls out of my hand It depends how it falls too

If it hits the ground And I can pick it up And be like I'm just gonna rip that part out Then I might go for it It's gonna be tough if it hits the sidewalk Though I'll be honest No I think sidewalk is like You just gotta get rid of

You gotta cross it But that's when if you know Like that has happened to me And I'll go I'll turn around and I'll be like I drop my croissant And they're like, here's a new one. Whoa.

That's very nice. That is very nice. You definitely don't have fear of rejection. Oh, I absolutely do. But I also have no shame, so. He's a Karen. Stop that. Don't do that.

Excuse me. I dropped it for not your fault. Technically, I slipped on your sidewalk. I dropped it for not your fault. Oh, my gosh. The top comment on this cat story, Why did you throw out the sponge? That is now the dedicated litter box cleaning sponge.

Fair. That's fair. You could. You could. I think it was more of like an anger thing. Yeah. Let me get this thing out of here. It's cursed.

Also, throw out the guy. Get rid of him. We going that far? I mean, why not? Sure. Okay. No one will, this person will never hear this. Also, it's a scrub daddy.

I don't really know what they retail for, but aren't those like... They're kind of bougie. Aren't they expensive? They're not. But they last. forever. Not this one. I'm saying just to throw the thing out. This is, first of all, I'm a huge advocate for Scrub Daddy, which I know they need all the PR they can get. Oh, they're $6. Oh. That's not too bad.

For Spong. For us. For one, Sponged? Well, for one. Sponger. They last forever. Sitting on a Spotify set. Like, oh, $6 for a sponge. Not bad. I feel like my baguette on the floor. I mean, I buy the off-brand magic erasers. Like, those are boozy. I've never owned a Scrub Daddy, but I got to get into that. It's going to change your life. Oh, especially the one with the handle. Oh, yeah. You can, like, stick it in the mouth and, you know.

Well, you had to go to that for. Well, that's what I've seen. The show you got to scrub daddy, the scrub mommy, the scrub babies. What's the babies for? Just like smaller things. Yeah, they have different sides. The mommy has two sides. She does.

She's more useful. She has an abrasive and a soft comforting side. If you have glass surfaces, there's an amazing little kit they sell with like the citrus base. So good. It's good. It's good stuff. Putty for what? No, no, no.

You're clean your glass. Forget him. He doesn't know. He's not a scrub boy. He's clean boy. He likes clean. He would love this. Yeah, but he's not on the scrub daddy train yet.

Well, he's just, he can be included. He wants to exclude me. This is messed up. This is so messed up. I'm being bullied. Okay. Well, Catgirl, she was so embarrassed by it. She did delete the post.

So I don't know if we'll get an update. I hope they can solve this issue. Wait. Why was she embarrassed? I don't know. She deleted it. Oh, so what were people saying? Were they on her side?

Yeah. Oh, okay. I mean, I know, we know why. Maybe the guy was like, yeah, you're throwing me under the bus here. Well, he's British. So he said that. Throw me under the double-duckle bus here. You throw me into a tube.

That's the train. The train. Yeah, but. Well, yeah. Technically, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I don't know why she deleted it. A lot of people are like, congrats. You've been eating off the litter box this whole time.

Oh, yeah. Maybe that's why. That's fucking disgusting. He's going to need to buy a new sponge. This, ladies and gentlemen, is called weaponized incompetence. That's right. Wow.

He was just like, all right, you only date? I'm going to date. I want to date, I want to date my way. That's probably exactly how he said it. Can you explain exactly what that term means? So it's come up recently. A good example is a story I've had on the podcast before. And so it's when people will purposefully do tasks wrong

so that they stopped being asked to do them. Interesting. So this girl asked her boyfriend, hey, can you do the laundry? And he couldn't figure out how to wash anything. He'd combine everything. He'd throw bleach in with black. He was horrible at the laundry because he didn't want to do it. Why can't you do it, babe?

Got it. So anytime he would try, he would mess it up. He bleached her little black dress. And she tried to fix it with a Sharpie. It didn't work. And so in order to kind of punish him for his weaponized incompetence, she wore that black dress to one of his work dinners or something to embarrass him. He did that.

Well, I don't know that that's the best course of action. Too petty for you? Yeah, absolutely, you know. I'm going to get you back by wearing this dress that makes me look a little crazy. So it's about the intent. Like the intent, like I am going to do this on no purpose. You've never heard that term? I have heard the term.

I was just getting a clarification because I can understand from like the context clues of like the words. but an example like would help me better understand that but that's why I was going back and forth with like a guy being like I've always just thrown the whites and colors together and I just kind of like wash them like that like that's just incompetence

you know what I mean? Yeah. But if you're purposefully doing it that's the weaponization of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it. All right. Yeah, that is an insane thing to do in any regard. It's happening a lot.

Oh, yeah, I know. I've heard so many stories about how mentally unhealthy a lot of people are, especially in their relationships. Something like that is just, I am going to do it wrong. That doesn't serve anybody. It doesn't even serve you. It does not. It does not. I like to be petty in other ways.

Not that. I'm pretty sure my dad did this to me for years. He would ruin my laundry all the time. And then he was like, well, do you don't want to do it yourself? There's a lesson in there. And you learned, yeah. I did. I did learn.

Yeah, my dad stuck my clothes in the dryer once and I cried and he never, never washed my stuff again. Well, I didn't even, he wasn't doing my laundry. It was in the wash and I was going to take it out and move it. He thought he was helping me and then he shrunk all my shirts. See, that's nice that you think that because my dad would have thrown in it in a dryer,

burnt it and it would have been my fault. Oh my gosh. I do that to myself. So I, you know, in order to learn about which materials shrink and which ones don't, I eventually had to hear that. I actually had to learn that the hard way. And I bought, But for some reason, I was feeling myself and bought a cashmere sweater.

And then out of the dryer, it could have fit Stewart a little. You can stretch it back out, you know. Wish I had known that. I threw that out with my pots and pants. So that one I was just like, well, okay, well, let's just pretend it says mold on it. What the hell? Would you eat a piece of bread that had a little piece of mold on it? Today?

Morgan. No. Five years ago, I would have torn the mold off and eaten that. During COVID? I was on a food stamp card I was eating anything I could find A bag out on the ground A snicker on the street

Weaponizing weaponization of poverty Oh my gosh Don't you hate I come from because like I definitely used to be the person That would be like cut around it You know but now I'm just I saw one thing that was just like

I'm scared of food poisoning I had norovirus once Me too Never want to go through that again Was going through it I needed three IVs Three? I got my first one because of it And I was like, now I'm addicted.

What are they putting in those IV drinks? Everything. I get the all-inclusive one. Sprinkle a little like fentanyl in there. No. That's a little. That's bad. No, it's got all the good stuff, all the B vitamins.

Sometimes I put some. You get the yellow bag? Yeah. Glutathione. I get some Zophran if I'm feeling a little nauseous. I get that. I get that. Well, I got that, I should say.

I've never done one of these. and you should. You want to do it after? No. We could get IVs here. I've learned that if someone tells me to like hang out and has something to do with needles, say no. You don't like IVs?

I don't mind IVs, but like I almost got one before our MSG show. Becca like hit me up and she, my wife was like, I want you to be in the best health possible so I booked you an appointment to do an IV. You know, it was sweet. Yeah. And then it was the day of and I was like,

I just don't want to do this. So I have a credit to do it, but I haven't done it yet. You'll really like it. I'm sure I will. You don't even feel the needle go in. See, but they're good. Needles don't bother me at all.

At all. I've been poked and prodded with enough. What's the issue? Yeah. What's the issue with the IVs? Yeah, like, why don't you like it? I overthink because I'm, I will be the type of person that's just like, okay, what is actually in that bag? Are they just telling me it's, you know, like all these vitamins, but it's actually like yellow Gatorade or something?

No, it's legit. They'd get in big trouble. I mean, they would get in big trouble, but I can't. Think about, like, here's the thing. if you went and you got a bad IV with Gatorade in it, think about the money you could sue them for. That's true. My family would be rich.

I do also, though, take the approach of like, I'm not going to get into it because if I do get into it and I do like it, now we've got a big problem on our hands because I'm not going to want to stop. It's not affordable enough to be an addiction. That's how I am with like Pokemon cards. If I start, once you pop, you can't stop.

Like Pringles. Okay. Name every brand you can. Lunchables, Pringles. I threw a soft sea in there. Okay, let's move on to this next one. Okay.

This is coming from relationship advice. It's five days old titled, My Boyfriend, 31 Male, is Mad at Me, 28 Female, because I let my cousin touch my old implants. Where were the implants? Were they still implanted or were they explanted? Subplanted. My cousin was over at my house, my first cousin, the closest I had to a brother growing up. He was sitting down and he looked across the living room and said, is that an implant?

I said, yeah, and I let him see it. He was like, whoa, that's crazy. And then I said, want to see what the inside of one looks like? Because one was ruptured and the texture is super weird. He said, it's sticky like a glue trap. That was the whole interaction. So it was not in her body? No.

No. My boyfriend was watching the security cameras in the living room. Uh-oh. First of all, spying on... Uh-oh. Spying on someone and their cousin? New level of insecurity. Yeah, now we're getting into black mirror level shit.

This is weird. And he got pissed. He said that it was inappropriate and sexual and, quote, white people fuck their cousins. That they do. That they do. So I was feeling that. I was feeling the whiteness in the room a little bit. Yeah, there was a clear whiteness in this.

There was white around. Only white cousins would be like, where are your old tits? Yeah, like, is that your old boob over there? You know what I mean? O.P. says, seriously, what the fuck? He said, You should have known that was disgusting

letting your cousin touch your tits. And he said, I am disrespecting him by doing something sexual. I think he's going a little crazy with that. I don't think it's disgusting or disrespectful. I think it's a little strange. It is strange. However, it sounds like there are some bigger control issues of play here.

Big fat ones. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I never would have equated touching an implant outside of my body, especially a ruptured one, was the same as touching my boob. I said I understand how that may have upset him and I can respect his opinion and I'm sorry it hurt him. It won't happen again.

But he is still claiming I should have known better. This is something that doesn't feel like anyone would have expected or automatically known. I guess I just don't know what to do anymore. I know this isn't healthy. I'm just shocked he reacted this way and this badly. We've never been perfect, but this is a completely different level of anger. He's been an amazing man in the past. He's been super tense lately. And he's never gotten mad at something like this before. Pertinent info. We have been together for almost four years. We have had fights in the past, but all couples do. He's Arabic. I'm white. We have security cameras because there have been several break-ins,

and the police said, until we get the guy on camera, they won't do anything, even though they have seen him on our property multiple times, and running from the house after we caught him. I do think that this guy's a little nuts,

for sure, because I don't think that's, like, sexual. For me, it just, like, feels scientific. It's, like, a medical thing. Like, I also... Scientific feels... But, like... I mean, I've felt people's implants

for, like, scientific reasons while they're in their body. Different. Scientific. Different. I had never felt one, and I was like... Sounds like curiosity. You're not one of experiments. We are completely...

I'm doing it for science, all right? I got a lab back home. Every guy out there listening is going to be like, that's how I'm going to touch a boob again. Science. I'm actually a doctor. Okay, I hear it now. I'm an expert.

I was curious. I'd never felt an implant. No, of course. We're avoiding a huge part of this that is questionable. The security cameras. No, no, no, because it sounds like they, well, first of all, sounds like they added some context as to why the security cameras are there.

Why her husband is watching it? Strange. Also, though, like, why, like, she's with the cousin, too. But also, like, why do you just have a ruptured implant just sitting out on your coffee table? Presumably, that's where it was. If it was in, like, a bedroom, we're approaching a little strange. But, like, I don't know that I would go out of my way to tell my, like, to ask. my cousin if I could touch an implant.

But if I did, I don't, I think it's a giant stretch for people to be like, well, that's sexual. You're touching your cousin's tit. I'd be like, bro, this first of all, where was it? The hospital. There's a big, there's a lot of, there's a lot of context we're missing. Like, if this happened in like, Alabama, I would be like, all right, maybe there's some,

there's some room to understand that this is a little weird, but like elsewhere, not that bad. Yeah. A new level of insecurity. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's really insecure, really controlling and weird that he locked into the camera to like watch them. I'm with my cousin.

What are you like scared of? He's insecure and scared that they're going to hook up. White people. That is crazy. Yeah, no, that's, first of all, wild generalization. That's a crazy generalization. All right. I do have an incest story in one of my tabs.

Oh, we're going? We're going there? Maybe. A hard eye? We can see where we go. We don't know. Well, that defeats the purpose of my entire case. here for this one. No, no, no, no, what I was just going to say is that one, I think that's strange.

If that was me in that situation, I'd be like, you're spying on me and I'm with my cousin. Yeah. That's, the insecurity is, is kind of wild. And you just blanket statement saying that white people fuck their cousins and that's why I'm watching as if that's an appropriate excuse for spying on me and then it's, it also sounds like this person, like there is a clear power dynamic and control dynamic here because she immediately went like, he's been stressed lately. Like, he's going through it. It's like, how many times have you had to say that to other people? Yeah. Yeah. That is a little, I don't, I don't, this person's okay. Yeah, we do get a little bit of an

update after some comments, but O.P. does also share, like, he's super possessive. He's never had an issue with my cousin before. His previous statements were like, quote, you're mine. You can wear what you want because at the end of the night, you're coming home with me. He was kind of possessive like that, but that didn't scream red flags at me. I would say this does though This is screaming red flags He equated touching the implants As like almost like

It's just like letting your cousin play with your dildo That's insane Is that something that happened? Yeah that is so different That is so different That's how he's comparing it It's like it's so inappropriate to let your cousin Touch your old implant

You basically let him play with your dildo No way in hell This person's stretching That is correct I mean, reaching is what I was looking for. I will say this, had this been a dildo short conversation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's very weird. Yeah, what's this?

Yeah, just like holding a dildo being like, oh, I always wanted to see one. You're like, chill, dude. This is too crazy now. What were you, what were you playing with that? I was just going like this. That was. Sort of fighting. Yeah, exactly.

That's a little too crazy. But like an out and about former retired implant? Yeah. I think that's okay. It's like, you know, it's been taken out to pasture, you know what I mean? It's like the old police dogs that are like on their last legs. It's retired.

Yeah. It's not even in the game anymore. Old police dogs? I just heard, I was like, whoa. What? Fido? Like, I'm saying, like, it's like the old police dogs that are on their last leg. It's like, they're not even in like, they're not even working right now.

You know what I mean? Like, it's over there. Yeah. O.P. does have a comment where she's like, it's basically like, to me, when you got a pacemaker out. and someone wanted to see your old pacemaker. Like, it's a medical device. That would be a little weird, too.

Saying that an implant is a medical device is also a little. It could be. It could be a medical device. It's like a scientific instead of, you know, curious. But it's not medical. Feels like it, though. It's like... Would you call, like, I'm just thinking of, like, a male equivalent, like a penis pump.

That's a medical device. Well, that, see, now, this is... I don't know, for some reason, that feels different. Because if it had been reversed and it was like... Well, if you're... A woman was upset that a guy was letting his cousin play with his penis pump that he used to have. Yeah. That feels a little stranger.

Also, for some reason? I think... Haven't we, like, debunked penis pumps? No, it's a real thing. Oh, it's real? Yeah. They're real. They're not like snake oil?

You have to squeeze the balls to pump them up. Yeah, you do. I don't... It's a real device. Yeah. I'm sure it's a real device, but like... That feels different for some reason. It does feel different.

This is just a circular bag. We do have a picture of the implant. Uh-oh. Let's get a gander. What am I looking at? It looks like a petri dish. It's an implant. It's a top view.

So it's like... That's a giant implant. Yeah, it looks like a lot of CCs. That looks like a... Maybe is that like the... That's the rupture. That's like when people like zoom in on like, you know, like germs under a microscope. It does look similar to a petri dish.

Am I crazy? Am I not getting the scale? I'm pretty sure... Massive. I mean, that's the arm of the sofa. So, I mean, it looks like it's maybe an eight-ed... charm. It's like a softball. It's spluted. Like it's like splooted like on the arm of the sofa. Gotcha. Gotcha. So when you pick it up then maybe it would like yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well also like some people put their implants under the muscle and the muscle holds shape. Like there's multiple ways to

Yeah. I mean even staring at that like there's nothing really overtly sexual about that. Yeah. It looks like someone that was just insecure. Those like everyone's got them these days. Those little squishy things. They're like ice cubes or like fruit. Yeah. They like went supervise Do I drop another brand here or just... I got a list of them. I got them ready, locked and loaded. Oh my gosh. Yeah, I think this guy's super controlling.

Yeah, it sounds not good. Also, the anger and just like letting it linger, like, that just feels strange. Yeah. O.P. said he got a new Mercedes, and so maybe that's why he's so stressed. Yeah, you know, getting a new brand new Mercedes. Do you know how difficult it is to ride around in my Mercedes? A brand new one at that. A brand new one.

You just don't get it. You want to talk about stress. You want to talk about stress in a world like we're living in? Yeah. Try having a Mercedes. My gosh. Try driving one of those off the lot. And finding out that your wife's at home and her cousin play with their boots.

If you think the atrocities in the world hold a candle to the stress that it causes to drive a brand new sports car, you have no idea what you're talking about. Homeless guy came up to me. Asked me for a couple bucks. I'm like, can't you see I'm driving? I'm Mercedes. I'm going through it right now as well. Yeah. Gosh.

Jeez. You know how much... It's true. What were you going to say? I was just going to keep piggybacking off of what he said, but I saw it though it was time to stop. I saw. I read the room. You read the room?

They told me right over there. I would have let you go on. There is an edit. We are done. Yeah. Good. I'm just in shock at this point. I don't even know how we can.

got to this point and honestly I'm really hurt that he just flipped into a completely different person. I'm glad. Yeah. Is there another edit that she's now dating her cousin because that would be the cherry on top? That would be a double. That would be awesome. That would get us. I'll check their comments one more time but I don't think so. Another edit, I'm in love with my cousin. Just let that be a lesson though. You could be dating a guy for four years as soon as you find out in a situation like that they're like, whoa, what's going on? Just know that that's not a one-off. Also weird for the cousin. If he heard this and like she told the cousin the story, he'd be like, do you like me or something?

Yeah, like, what the hell are we talking about? Why was he so nervous? It's very weird. You reminded me of a story and now I'm like, wait, I want to get your take on it. It wasn't on my agenda. But this, yes. Okay. So this one is coming from Am I the Asshole?

It's titled Am I the Asshole for Not Wanting My Soon-To Be Brother-in-law at my wedding. Oh, let's go. Hi, everybody. I'm a 26 female about to get married to my wonderful fiancé 28 male. He and I have been together for five years, and our wedding is set to take place this spring. So for some backstory, when I was 18, I was on a date with a guy who was 18 too. We went out to dinner, and I thought we had a really great time, and I really liked him. After our date, I texted him telling him I had a great time and would love to meet him again.

He just responded with telling me thanks that he enjoyed our date, but he did not find a connection with me and would not want to see me anymore, as he felt it wouldn't be fair to me. I really liked this guy, and I was heartbroken, but I moved on. Three years later, I met my now husband. When I met him, I had no idea as to who he was. We hit it off and clicked instantly and fell hard for each other. It was not until six months later when I was at dinner with his family, and his brother was there. And that's when I realized that his brother was the guy I went on a date with.

Yeah. I explained this to my husband. He was fine with it. I also messaged his brother, telling him I did not know that they were related in any way, but that I really liked his brother and would like it if he did not let our past together disturb my relationship. He responded by telling me that we were all good. However, he has continually flirted with me. No. When we meet for dinner, he always flirts, saying stuff like my dress looks nice, that I look great, or telling me that something specific on the menu looks like I might like it. He always does this in front of my husband, who has not said a word about this.

He also tries to make me jealous all the time. Like when we are all out with his family, he sometimes brings a girl with him. And if they have been dating for some time, he will always be. kiss her on the cheek, talk with her all the time, and flirts with her. I have kept my mouth shut about this as to not cause anything bad between him and my fiance, but with wedding planning and sending out invites, I just had to say something. I told him I don't want his brother there because his brother always flirts with me and tries to make me jealous. My fiance looked dumbfounded and asked when this happens, if his brother does this stuff when he is in

the bathroom or simply not looking. I told him no and brought up all the things that I did here in this post. My fiance laughed and asked me if I was okay in the head and if I was joking. I got angry at him and I said that if he could not see how truly disgusting his brother's behavior is, then he is not who I thought he was. We have barely talked since then. I got a text from his brother saying that he was sorry if he ever made me feel uncomfortable and that he had no. intention to make me feel that way. My fiance is still mad at me. Was I really the asshole for this? I just want my happiest day to be my happiest day. And it can't be that if I have to worry about his brother doing something. Okay. That was the dozy. I mean, asshole isn't the word narcissist

feels prope here. He's really flirting with me. He said he'll, I look good. You would really, You would really like the steak. Yeah, he told me I'd really like the mozzarella sticks. What the hell's his issue? He kissed the girl he came with that he likes. What are you trying to make me jealous? What's going on, dude? Yeah, it's a little.

Didn't she say that she really liked the guy after one date? She was heartbroken. Heartbroken after one date. One of those? Immediate red flag. Yeah. You know, I mean, did she not know that that was the brother? who's to say this feels like it wouldn't be outside yeah this is also in today's day and age like

if this person is saying they're how old they're 26 so and they went on a date when they were 18 eight years ago social media still around yeah you know I unless 2018 yeah yeah so I imagine that she was going on the date with this new guy who ended up being her partner like husband you got a stalked you know she did you think she stalked she she she might it sounds like she Do you feel like this is purposeful? Do people even date without stalking? I'm not going that far. Who wouldn't do that?

But it's not called stalking anymore because that is a crime. Well, yeah, not the federal. It's called like looking around. Taking a peek. A peaking a peek. A pears. I love a peruse. A peruse.

A peruse in your life. I love a peruse. So what? You look at their whole social media history. It's out there. It's public information. As long as you're not like sending them like, used socks and saying like, I will kill you in your whole family, you know, like, that's when

it gets bad. Yeah. Has someone done that? Nothing I know of. I'm sure it's happened. I'm certain. I'm sure it's happened. It does, I don't, I don't know, like what Joey said, I don't know if asshole is the

right term. Okay. I think this person has some stuff that they need to work through with a mental health professional. I don't want to sit here and be the guy that's just like, don't believe her, don't, you know, like, clearly she's feeling something that is. real, but what is causing it to feel that way might be something, you know, and there's history there.

Is she trying to make, you know, a metaphorical square peg fitting a round hole? You know what I'm saying? I don't know. Yeah. I think that she probably enjoys the fantasy of there being this, like, both of these guys, and she wants the brother to really be interested in her. so she's creating these scenarios kind of in her head and just kind of over-analyzing everything.

But he's just trying to be a normal guy because when you were reading that, I'm like, oh, nah, he's going to start flirting. And then it's kind of like, oh, you look really nice. And like for you to take that as something because you were so attached to this person at one time, it feels like the calls coming from inside the house. I love that you said that.

There's also a lot of context that we're missing here. You know, it's possible. that like the foods he was saying she might really like. Maybe they were like overly phallic foods, you know? Maybe it was just like, oh, you would love the vina schnitzel. You know, like you would love the chorizo. Like maybe there's context that we're not getting that couldn't help her side a little bit. I'm just playing devil's ad be.

Yeah, no, I appreciate that. I feel like overall, I think she's just either really delusional, maybe just kind of off her rocker a bit, or no one has ever been nice to her. ever, like to just be told like, oh, you look nice and think it's flirting, are people usually really mean to you? Well, that would, in a vacuum, I think that that would make sense. But the fact that you went on one date and then you were heartbroken, like, to me, that

kind of gets me to believe that there's a little bit of, like, narcissism involved. Like, I think that certain people like that also will almost, in a way, pretend that they're heartbroken so that they can get some sort of attention from other people and, like, Look at this thing that happened to me. I was dating this guy and then he ghosted me. And normal people are going to be like, it was one day who cares. You know,

like even if you guys like talked for a bit, you met him for one time, one date, like how can you possibly care about that? But if I'm heartbroken, that I'm going to get sympathy. I'm going to get comforted. So that's why it makes me believe

that this person is like trying to create a situation where now I need this again because something's happening to me and I want to exclude it and whatever. And in a weird way, that almost feels like she has the feelings for him I was gonna say

is this giving a little summer I turned pretty Never seen it but yes Oof, I did see a few episodes of it I feel like you'd be really into it I think my wife watched Conrad Jeremiah Yes I watched

What team are you on? What team are you on? Oh I'm not that in that I have a say We're still trying to figure out What's her name? What's her name? What's her name? Belly

Belly yeah Yeah What do you mean team Edward or team Jacob We're still trying to figure out that team where we said where we fall on there. Edward. Oh, okay. So you're just making the decision for us?

Well, the other one's a wolf and he weirdly imprints on her daughter. I feel like there's only one side to pick. Okay. Get them. First of all, don't get me. Second, well, you heard all that beautiful, like, therapy talk. He, I mean, everything I wanted to say,

he just said it in a very nicer way. I'm what? You sound healed. Like, I really have been watching some stand-up specials. And I, this person really talks about mental health, Taylor Tomlinson. And I realized, I'm like, I really need to go back to therapy because she seems to be like very self-aware and healed. And I'm, yeah, you, you're giving healed as well.

Oh, I appreciate that. I have been in therapy. I also go out of my way to, you know, like read books and stuff to try and understand. You read books? Loves books. Loves books. What's your favorite book? Oh, I have no idea.

There was, I had an answer to this. I don't know if it's still my answer. But like during COVID, I read a book called The Psychopath Test. by, I believe his name is John Ronson, but I read a couple of his books. That sounds really interesting. He passed a test. You're not a psychopath?

No. But they, you know, it's a cool book. But he has a couple of books, and I think they're all, like, pretty interesting. But that was, like, my answer for a bit. I don't know if it's still, you know. You got to read another book. I have been reading books.

I just haven't, like, take an inventory of which one is my favorite or something. Do you have a good reads account? I do, but I don't really, like, use it. Oh. I feel like people would be. be really into that. If I had a Goodreads account? Oh, maybe.

Definitely. Yeah. They go wild for his feet. I'm sure if they, like, I'm sure if they could, like, see what his brain look like. Are you on that feet website? I'm against my will, yeah. Don't Google it. Oh, not Foot Finder or whatever.

Not that. The Wiki Feet. He's, he is like a five-star recipient on this foot website. Yeah. You do have five stars. Gorgeous feet. Yeah, if they could see what you're reading. Oh my God.

Literally from... You really put your feet out there for free a lot. Well, this was a thing that I did in the past before I knew this existed. And now I'm a little bit more... No free feet. He's guarded. He's guarded now on the speed. Why do you think I started using blankets?

Well, I didn't know that there was an entire empire out there. Do you also normally just wear no shoes and socks? Look at this close up of your foot they put on. Oh, that's an ugly one. That was on the... Sorry. That was on the show. I put my foot up on the desk.

I am proud of the hip mobility. to be able to get it up there. Yeah, if anything, that shows, you know, a real good range of motion. I just wanted people to know that. Flexibility. At one point in my life, I was an athlete, so I am able to do that. So that's all I wanted to do there. They have a lot of feetpics of you.

Stop looking? Yeah, this seems like you're objectifying him. Yeah, you're like looking at your real time. This is basically like you're looking at my implant. This is getting... Can I touch it? Oh, my God. This will...

This will get cut. No. No, no, it won't. No. This will... You have a really good. good score. That's great. Thank you. That's awesome.

You should start monetizing it, honestly. I would, I'm cool with not monetizing it as long as someone sends me like a plaque. What do you want the plaque to say? Great feet? Great feet. Five star. Like, I just wanted to be like a glass foot. Like a glass foot and be like, why don't you take a mold of your foot? I mean, I can't give myself the, my guy.

Well, how do you think they're going to get you? Like, if they want, you know what I mean? Well, I thought there would just be like a standard foot that they would send. I should create that though. I feel like it should be yours. What was my rating? Five stars. Oh yeah, no, I got to make the thing. I try to provide him with foolproof business ideas.

I do feel like if you made a mold of your foot and sold it on like our like our stores. Our store? What would it? A foot paperweight. A paper weight. Or like a silicone mold. Imagine it right there on the stack of the books. That'd be really great.

And like you could put like, here we go. Now you got me going. He's cooking. And I'm cooking right now. I think you need to. It'd be a foot mold, but the toes would be like lollipop candy. So like... Oh, that's really, you're giving the fetish people what they want.

What do you think people are going to do with them? You got to lean in. People are going to be doing that. But then eventually the toes will erode. So you got to buy a new one. That's good. Supply and demand. Can I say...

I just want to say candidly that the idea that he just gave, he's done this like a billion times. That honestly is probably like the best one. That's how bad the rest of them. And it happened here. Yeah. Well, listen, magic happens. I will, you know. I'd support.

Magic happens. I'll gift it to Spotify. A paperway? Paperweight? Yeah, paperweight right there. Okay. So top comment on this one. Ha ha ha ha ha.

What the actual fuck. You're the asshole. Yeah. He's being nice to you and trying to make you feel included in the family. And you think that's flirting? He has a date and kisses another. girl and you think that is him trying to make you jealous? You had one date with him eight years ago and are still thinking about how much it wasn't

a match. This is a level of delusion not often seen. This is some next level shit. You're the asshole and delusional. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, asshole is a... I don't know if it's the term I would use, but... I mean, too harsh.

I would use it if I'm the brother-in-law. I bet now you're being an asshole to me, making me look like something. Why are you doing that? Do you think the husband is just like, oh, no, what have I gotten myself into now? If I was the husband, I'd be like, dude. Yeah. This is weird. I'd feel like, yo, you have it out for him.

Like, you have an attraction to him. And that's why you're doing this, like, nagging thing. Absolutely. Yeah, especially given the fact that, like, it's so bad in her head. She doesn't want to invite his brother to his wedding. It's not just her wedding. It's their wedding. He's also there.

A possible best man, even. I would say he probably is the best man. So, it's crazy. That's insane. It's crazy. This next one is also a bit crazy. Bit doozy. I think so.

Okay. I'm excited to see what you guys think. This feels really wrong. Okay. It's coming from our very own Too Hot Takes subreddit, three years old. It's titled My Male 27, Wife, Female 28, showed her friends are sex tapes. My wife and I have been together for seven years, married. for two. We have a healthy and active sex life. One thing we like to do is just record ourselves.

Nothing fancy, just our phones in the moment. We have a shared ICloud server that we send it to. That way we can watch it on our phones and other devices without it being saved on our phones. We sometimes like watching them together, or we both travel somewhat frequently for work and watch them then. My wife has a very active group of friends that she spends a lot of time just hanging out with, chatting and drinking wine, a typical girl's night in. They usually meet at our house, so I usually just go downstairs to play games, or sometimes I go out with my friends. They tend to get loud when they get drunk, and whenever I don't have something playing in my headphones, I can hear them. A common topic is their sex lives. It made me feel weird at first to hear my wife and her

friends talk about our sex life, but I remembered that I used to talk about my sex life with my friends when I was younger. However, the other night, I heard whooping and cheering. Like it's an Avengers movie? Woooping. So I crept up the stairs to see the commotion. My wife was playing some of our sex tapes on the TV for all to see. I went back downstairs and stayed down there until they were ready for me to drive them home. Usually there's some satirical cheers and such from her friends as I walk up the stairs and grab the keys. This time, a couple of them did wolf whistles. They've never done that before, and one even said, quote, way to go, stud. My wife shushed them and decided to come along when I dropped them off.

There was a lot of drunk giggling in the car ride. After I got home, I wanted to talk to my wife about what I saw, but I thought she was too drunk to have a serious conversation with her then. We went to bed, and she tried to engage, but I told her I was too tired. The next afternoon, when she was sober and less hungover, I asked her why she showed our videos to her friends. She got a deer in headlights look on her face. She then said they were just having a good time and she told them about our collection and they started to beg to see them. So she obliged. I told her those were private videos and she said, we never said we couldn't show them to others. And it's not like she sent them the files. I think she could tell I didn't like that answer, and she said that she'll make it

up to me and then tried to engage again. I backed up and said I was going for a drive. I texted her that I was hanging out with some buddies for the day. When I got home last night, I set up camp on the couch and have been sleeping there the past couple of nights. I don't think this is a call for divorce or anything. I'm just upset that she violated my trust like that, even though we never had an agreement. I thought it was just implied. I'm also upset since she didn't apologize until I started sleeping on the couch and that she originally tried to engage instead of apologizing when we first talked. Hmm. How do you, how do you, I need a machete to get to the weeds of that one. I mean, this feels pretty clear cut. I mean, that is wrong on so many levels. It's so violating.

Is this from an, am I the asshole thread? No, this is from the Too Hot Take subreddit. So just kind of like writing in. Is this someone who like listens to the show? There's a chance. What the hell are you thinking? Look down the barrel of the gun right now and let them know. Yeah, like what are you thinking? Like I think that's, yeah, that's wild.

I am also like, you're married to someone. You seemingly trust them, whatever. I don't think you should be able to like show people that. Or also like, I don't know, man. And I don't think this person, they're trying to find a middle ground and be like, well, I used to talk about my sex life when I was younger. Yeah, dude. We all did.

But like now we're married adults and don't do that. Yeah, when you're 18 years old, it's a big difference. Well, and I was like, I went to go look at ages again. I'm like, is she a lot younger? And maybe that's why there was that comment. Two years, right? She's 28. He's 27.

Yeah. Way too old to be doing this. I know. Like, if one of my friends try to show me, like, I'd be like, yeah, what are you doing? But also like the hooting, the hooting and hollering that they're doing, like, they're watching, like, the Super Bowl. they're just like, yeah! Way to go stud! Like, ugh, I would never be able to see those people ever yet in my time.

I'm not saying that this is more appropriate, but a part that would bother me also is that you don't even respect me enough to, like, keep this a secret. Like, you're doing it in my house and I'm there. Like, it's not like you're, like, showing your best friend and, like, one of them being like, ugh, and just, like, that I would find strange also, but at least, like, keep it a secret from me. But now you're kind of like outing me. Your friends are saying it to me.

Like I definitely should not know that they know, if anything. You know, like that to me is like another level of disrespect as well as like, this is like a traumatic thing for this guy. Now I come upstairs. All your friends are watching me naked? What? It's super weird. If roles like were reversed, like flip genders, like I feel like people would like have

an easier time understanding this. Like would you like it if your husband showed all of his guy friends? No. Yeah. Right? Like that would be insanely violent. Like, come on. Yeah, that's horrible.

And I agree. I wouldn't even want my friends, like, I don't want my friends to see me in action. That's weird. Yeah, very strange. That's weird. And then the fact that they were like making a joke. Yeah, yeah. Like, they were making a joke out of it to the point.

Like, if they had almost, because like they didn't know at the time that he had heard or saw. So like, they're being like coy, like trying to be like funny. Like way to go, stud. Like, it's kind of like rubbing dirt in the wound. You know what I mean? That's not nice. It's also fucked up to leave your partner out to dry in the sense of you're on the outside of this. We all know this happened.

You don't know what happened. I'm going to let them make those comments that are maybe going to confuse you if you have no idea what's going on. And you're like cool at that. Like that's not doing. Like there's so many layers that are like wrong. I know. I think too like the fact she initially was like deer in headlights trying to come up with like a plausible. Like excuse because I don't.

something she even put it in her head, like, oh, he's going to hear this. But also, like, the part that is also kind of weird is like the then trying to like use sex as like, I'll make it up to you. Like this is like, again, I did say earlier that men are simple and most likely dumb creatures. But like to be like this person's upset, I'm just going to like throw my body at it and then like everything will blow over and it'll be okay. Like that's a level of disrespect too. Like you're not valuing. You're not valuing like the emotional, you know, damage that you did. And you're just thinking that like the physicality of our relationship will completely fix that issue that I just caused.

Like that, that's a, that's a little. It's not very thoughtful. And it's also like you're undermining like my entire existence by thinking like, you can you can't fuck your way out of this one lady. Sorry. I'm going to make it up to you. It's like, no. I don't want that. Like, that's what got us here.

I was just going to say, yeah. I did it first, so. That is, yeah, I mean, I know that this wasn't from an, am I the asshole thread, but I'll say it again. Kind of an asshole move. Oh, she's an asshole. I think, who submitted this? Like, the female partner? The guy.

The guy. I think also the, you're not thinking of your husband when you're like, I'm just going to make this executive decision. you're not thinking of your husband when you're letting your friends make the jokes or do whatever you're not thinking of your husband by doing this in the house that he's in currently and you're also not thinking of your husband

when you're like I'll just fix this with sex because then it's like like I said it's like you're undermining his existence and being like well this is not like actually a person I could just you know he'll forget about it if I just get naked it's like you have a crazy understanding of what a relationship is

you know so it's hard to make jokes about this you would this is I feel like you're not gonna... This is not gonna last. Like, there's no way that lasts. Like, how do you come back from that realization? Because, like, there is a sense of just like, oh, like, you see these people again,

which I presume this person is gonna see his wife's friends again. Like, there is gonna be that internal, like, oh, like, they've seen me in this very intimate situation. So, like, how do you even allow that relationship to go anywhere outside of just, high and by. It would be really hard

to get that trust back. When you said dear in the headlights also, I thought this was going to turn into and not saying this is an excuse, but I thought this was going to turn into she was like, what? Blacked out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I can, I think that a part of me could possibly get past that if it was like a mistake and you're realizing how fucked up that is. Yeah. But if it's not that, and you're also not apologizing,

like that's the part that I think results in divorce for me. It's like, I'm telling you that I feel violated and you just like don't agree. Like, you don't get to not agree. No, like these are my feelings. They're valid and you're not even acknowledging them. You're just trying to fuck me again.

Yeah. And it's like that, I'm not going to be able to get past. Then it's like, no, it's a wrap now. No, top comment. You need to ask her if she thought it would be okay if you showed the sex tapes to your drunk friends. She violated your trust in the worst way. I'm not saying break up with her,

but I damn sure wouldn't record any more videos. Yeah, I would do. a sweep of that room like you're in the CIA. Make sure that there's no fucking listening or video devices anywhere. Also the cloud? I would delete them. I think it's time to delete them. Yeah. Like you clearly can't handle this privilege of having these. So bye-bye.

You should also do like the classic like burn barrel behind the apartment. Just like throw it in and be like so dramatic about it. Doing this on the cloud too, you're playing with fire. The cloud gets hacked. Like I feel like there's been a lot of celebrities that have been held hostage over their news. Absolutely. It's so horrible.

Yeah. Bye-bye cloud. Delete. Delete. Empty trash bin. Whatever you got to do. She's got some stuff going on. She has a weird relationship with her sexuality, I would say.

Or just like needing approval from her friends. More of an insecurity thing. Yeah. Like, well, all these things are around sex. Like, she's using it as a way to, like, get her way. And then she's using it to get validation from these people. Like, she's got problems. I also don't get the logic of love.

Like, what are you showing? Like, what is in there that you are showing? Like, how did the conversation get to a point where it was just like, well, we do this? And they're like, no way. And it's like, let me show you that we do this. Yeah. I mean, like, I've talked about a position in the past, like, on this podcast. Uh-huh.

And I drew like stick figures to, like, explain it. Okay. So I could imagine them having a conversation in, like, getting there. But to then, like, show them the videos. Yeah. that's too far. I also, yeah, I also think that, like, it's totally fine for, I mean, it really depends on the intention.

Like, I do think that people talking about their sexual experiences with their partners, especially when you're married, is, like, maybe a little, like, taboo. But if it's, like, your best friends and you need someone to confide in, so the intention is, like, you know, like, you're trying to get information, you're trying to whatever, if you're just trying to, like, flex and it's just something you talk about, I think that's a little weird. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, I think that's strange to do. Yeah. But if you're going to do that, I shouldn't know, dude. I don't want to know if your friend knows things about me. A different girl's house, like during another girl's night, but, like, the fact he's downstairs, is in your home? Do you think there was any part of her that, like, wanted him? Wanted him?

Wanted him to find out to see, like, how far she can push the boundaries of it? I don't know. Like, what was she hoping? Was she hoping it, like, then turned into him coming upstairs and something happening? Like, I think it was just a lack of thought. Like, it's just, I'm thinking about. me in this moment. I'm not thinking about the guys. Is there an update?

No update. How long ago was this posted? Three years. Oh, they're done. They're done. Maybe. Caput. O.P.

Could be out there listening right now. We could get an update after this episode. We don't know. I don't know. Careful asking that because they might just like send an update with like an image file. And you're like, no, never mind. Yeah. That would be weird.

I don't get a lot of those. You guys must get some interesting. No. I don't get them, honestly. No. I'm like, I don't know. I just want an update from this username. It's got to come from this username too.

Like, I can't, I feel like I wouldn't believe it if it didn't come from this account. Because then you're like, you just made a fake account. Yeah. Yeah. To mess with us. But yeah, well. What was the username again? Throwaway tapes.

Well, I think. It sounds like they started an LLC. It sounds like they were on track to go a certain route with this story. Well, that's kind of how Reddit, like, If you don't want something tied to your main account, you're supposed to create a throwaway account. Like this is, it's Reddit etiquette. Okay, redicate.

Come on, it's right there. It's right there. Yeah. You're quicker than me. I don't know. Okay, moving on to this next one. Coming from R-slash relationship advice. Nice.

Titled my 32 female, fiance, 37 male, is a homicide detective. and I'm starting to feel like he treats me more like a suspect than a partner. Before this gets bad and like we have to say that this is not good, this is funny. Like before it gets like scary, just being like, do me a favor, let me know where you were Saturday, 3 p.m. 15.01. What's your alibi? Yeah. My fiance and I've been together for almost four years. He's a homicide detective.

my friends immediately started sighed eyeing me. They said, don't date a cop. It's not worth it. They're all bad, etc. None of them have ever actually dated a cop, so I found their opinions more annoying than anything else. I just felt like they were basing their judgment off of a stereotype. My mom said similar things, but she dated a cop who was a former military guy with PTSD, like 49 years ago, and based everything off that. Lately, though, a few things have started to bother me. I don't know if it's just that these incidents seem to be more frequent or if I was just willfully blind to it before.

I'm just bothered by these things now. He records our arguments. I've known about that for a while. He told me it was, quote, to make sure we remember things correctly and communicate better. And I believed him at first. I didn't like it, and I thought it was petty and stupid. I asked him if he saved the recordings and he said he deletes them once the argument. argument was resolved. I have since found a folder on his computer labeled with dates and times

and their recordings of arguments or other conversations we've had going back over a year. He notices tiny changes in my behavior and asks questions in a way that feels more like an interrogation than concern. I also recently discovered he's done background checks on some of my friends and coworkers. Sometimes his phone buzzes and he steps out for hours without explanation, but he just says he's handling work stuff whenever I ask. He makes cryptic comments like, quote, you know I only trust what I can verify. Or, quote, I like to know everything that might matter when it comes to things just between us even, not strictly talking about work. And then he laughs it off. But the word stick. It's hard to tell when he's joking and when he's serious. I love him,

but sometimes I feel like he's treating me like I'm some sort of suspect. He doesn't seem to trust anyone, including me. Every little disagreement feels like it could be evidence. Recently, he's made some comments related to having kids about having a tracker on them at all times. He said he'll never let his kids spend the night at somebody else's house and that he'll do background checks on every parent of our kids' friends and teachers. I feel like those sort of comments are becoming more frequent and it's just escalating.

How do I handle this with him? How do I discuss this in a way that won't jump into a dumb argument that he inevitably records for no good reason? I honestly don't know how to bring this up to him. I've considered telling him a needs therapy because he cannot continue to live life so suspicious and paranoid about everything and everyone. I'm pretty sure he'll refuse that. Boy, what was that book you said that you was your favorite book? Psychopaths? Yeah, this person sounds like they're most.

more of the, you know, like the calls coming from inside the house type of thing. He's a homicide detective, but it sounds like he might have a couple screws loose. Is it giving Dexter? No, Dexter, don't talk bad about Dexter. You know, he has morals. He's got a code. He's got a code. No, this definitely sounds, like, there are parts of it that honestly, like, when it gets into the whole, like, I'm going to track my kids, they're not going to anyone's house.

Like, as a parent, like, I have said things like that. And, like, just in today's society, like, there are forms of, like, tracking and apps for that stuff. So, like, that part of it doesn't feel. I'm kind of with it. Yeah, like, that doesn't feel wrong. I know sleepovers. I'm also kind of with. Yeah.

I mean, we've not, so far I could say as a parent, we've not done any sleepovers. But, like, the idea of, like, either my kid going somewhere else, I won't sleep or kids sleeping at my house that are not my kids. I got to be responsible for other kids, you know. But, like, that part of it doesn't sound that ridiculous. but like the whole like recording background checks on friends and and co-workers though honestly if I was a cop I kind of think I would do that really that's wild you don't think so it just feels like such an invasion like background check you get everything from like their debt like you get a lot of stuff like there are certain things like they're looking like like you're gonna tell me if your partner has a co-worker that and you're they're like you're like you're like you're like they're actually a little weird like they kind of make like passing comments that are a little strange well we don't have that context, though. I know, but I'm saying, though, like, this is a guy that it's clearly very, like, because of his line of work, very paranoid. I'm not justifying it, but in that

regard, I don't think that's the issue, the background checks. I think the recording of the arguments, lying about keeping them afterward, like, yeah, that sounds a little strange because I can almost imagine this person in that argument is being very aggressive and, like, I'm right, you're wrong, and it's like, why are you watching that back? Like, that's weird, that's a weird power thing for me. It would really piss me off if I was like having a fight with my partner too. And he's like, actually, no, no, no, let's roll the tape. And he like backs it up. And it's like, I didn't say you were a bitch. I said you were acting like a bitch. Like, you know, it's like schematics. But it's like, I'm going to prove to you exactly what I said. And it's like, but this is how I took it anyways.

I, I'm like kind of reading this in a different way. Like you guys use the word suspicious and paranoid. Like, I don't really see it as that. I see it as like narcissistic. Because if you are paranoid or suspicious, then these things, you can get answers for these things. Someone who is paranoid is constantly having a conversation with you about, you know, what do we got to do about the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You just doing things against people's will, behind their back, and saying it's for the greater good and the thing that we're supposed to do is a narcissistic thing to do. And I don't care that you're a homicide detective or whatever. Like, if you know what's best or whatever, you're violating me.

by not including in me on these decisions and treating me like a child and think that like why am I not part of the conversation where if you want to do a background check on someone that I know or someone that I'm spending time with, we should at least have a precursor conversation as to why you're suspicious.

But if that's just how you're going to treat my relationships, that's a little crazy to be like, I can't have friends now unless you approve unless they meet the criteria that you decide. Like you're not the end all be all. in my life and you trying to take away my autonomy and before the kids are born you're like we're going to put trackers on them we're going to whatever like yeah and i get it like the sleepover thing like i get you know being like worried about that sort of thing but even those things are like decisions

you make as a unit together yes yeah 100% you know so this dude to me is just you know he needs to be the one in control doesn't really respect this woman clearly in my opinion because it's like i'm just going to do whatever the fuck i want and i'm going to record whatever and we're going to go back to it also thought it was interesting when you were like he deletes them once they're resolved so you decide when yeah exactly yeah once you believe that they're good then you get rid of them but he's also lying because he's not deleting all of them if he's got a folder that has stuff for the past year so if he has and he feels i can use it later like then he can use it oh you know what let me hold on to that one so he's almost banking on it coming back up i bet he deletes the ones

that he comes out looking wrong like if he looks wrong yeah yeah exactly the The ones where he's probably, exactly, it's a power dynamic. Why are you watching those back? The ones where he is like controlling it, I was right. He's keeping those to reference those. But the ones where he, and I'm not saying that this person is like that stubborn. I can almost imagine that that's what is going on. But like if they are like retroactively proven wrong or something like that, he'll delete those.

You know, this is like not a joke here concerning behavior. Yeah. Like, this is scarily concerning. Yeah. And I don't want to do, like, the blanket, like, don't date cops because I'm sure. No. Like, we know people that are cops that, to my knowledge, don't do this. But, like, there's some other stuff there.

Yeah. I think that's what we're noticing with all these stories. There's other stuff there, layers, like an onion. Oh. And that's why we're here to peel back each layer. That's exactly why I called you in. I need a backup. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This does sound slightly psychopathic, too. Yeah. Yeah. Top comment, this is how you want to live the rest of your life, question mark. Yeah. Like, that's it. Like, literally.

There's another comment that says, so he's controlling and suspicious, which are precursors for coercive control and abuse. And OP responds and says, I wouldn't say he's controlling. But his actions are- He's definitely controlling. He's giving controlling. It's not like a direct control. He's giving control. He's certainly giving controlling to everyone. on. It's funny, like, you know how some people, when people are in abusive relationships,

a lot of people are like, why don't you just leave? It's very obvious or whatever, because of stuff like this where it doesn't take form in a way where it's so direct. And it sounds like controlling people tell you things you can't wear when you can, like go out and these, like, it doesn't only exist in that way. So this is more of like a subtle way, even though it doesn't really come across the subtle to us, but it's more of a subtle way, I guess, when you're in that relationship to realize I am being controlled. Like this guy is saying that, his word and his decisions are always right and the standard. And if I'm not meeting those, then because he's a cop or because he's a homicide detective

or whatever, then he knows everything. And that's just not what it is, especially in a relationship. It's more of like a collaborative effort. And if you're going to violate that part of it, then you don't have a relationship. Like, I am your child then in your eyes. And you're making every decision for me. Like it's not really a relationship. No.

No. You see who I say he's been to therapy. I know. I was like, in my head, I was like, holy shit. He's crushed it. This is so just in tune and healed. And like, you're just picking up such subtleties. He's giving healed.

It's so good. This guy's giving psycho. He's giving healed. It's so good. I mean, I think you're on it too when you say, like, it's not always easy to to identify control because I think the examples you gave, like, you're not wearing that. Everyone would be like, you're not going to tell me what to do. Right.

But this is. is control in another font. And a lot of people pick up on it. But O.P., not picking up on it. Like, someone goes, holy shit, why would you want to stay with this unhinged person? And O.P. responds, unhinged? I mean, maybe if he worked in a completely different kind of work, I kind of feel like I understand where most of it comes from, though, at least.

That's not really an excuse, though. Yeah. Seems like she's doing the work to, like, defend him when... Continuously defending him... She's been successfully gaslit. into thinking. Like if someone is a homicide detective and you just say like, okay, so whatever you say about this thing is what it is and all your suspicions and all your whatever, like,

I have to just submit to that because you're a homicide detective. No matter what for anybody out there in a relationship or even not in a relationship, your gut and your intuition still counts for something. Of course. Especially in a relationship because it's like we're in a thing together. Yeah. So you can have your suspicions and those can be based in like your experience and your job. But that doesn't mean that my intuition counts for nothing.

And she's relinquishing that completely because it's like, well, he's a cop. I know where it's coming from. We can know where it's coming from. That doesn't mean that that's how it should be. I know. And she just keeps going to bat like for him again and again, like almost like against her gut. And it's like, you're the one that wrote this in. You're the one that said.

You see this a lot on TikTok too. Like when we'll post videos of their husband like being weird and doing some things. He's actually, like, he's, he's the, blah, blah, and it's like, TikTok goes both ways with these things where sometimes a woman will post, like, a very, in my opinion, like, a non-issue, you know, and like, just like a funny thing. And the comments would be like, you need to leave him. He doesn't care about it. Yeah, this is a sign of a bigger thing.

Yeah. And it's one video, but there are very clear videos where a guy has done something and it's like, you know, like I was giving birth and he was playing video games and then he fell asleep. and I was trying to, you know, whatever. And like, you know, you hear those stories all the time, but when it comes to another level and it becomes like no apology, no empathy, no whatever, and a woman is displaying that about her husband,

you can't really fault the comments for being like, hey, I realize this is one video, so we don't have all the contacts, but like, these are bad. Yeah. And you wouldn't, I also don't understand why you would post that anyway. Like, did you see the pumpkin patch one? No.

This lady was like, Pumpkin. I love pumpkins. I know. It was like such a wholesome activity to go with it for your kids. And I'm like forgetting the exact video, but she was just like, I don't understand why he just like can't go to the pumpkin patch and be happy one day. And it's literally her, the kids in the car and he like literally just starts screaming. Like I don't want to go to the fucking pumpkin badge. She posted it. And it's like, yeah. Those are people that are that are that are looking for help but don't want to like outwardly admit that they're looking for help in that regard. That's what I think at least. Because the comments will be, you know, like, listen, you need to, you need to. And then, like, they're, like, trying to defend it. But, like, it's kind of almost a cry for help, for my perspective.

Yeah. Or it's just, like, in their gut, they think, oh, yeah, this isn't right. And they post it, like, trying to, like, have people come forward and, like, reassure them. Like, oh, yeah, I know that's fucked up. But then why defend them in the comments? The defending in the comments is crazy to me because it's like, what did you expect? I think that, I mean, personally, I believe. that like people who post stuff like that are some of them rather are not realizing what the

end result is actually going to be like I think in the moment a lot of people are very quick to post about their personal life and their relationship yeah especially when there's kids involved and you know the dynamic there and I think immediately it's like I want pity I want to be validated and that I think this is a little crazy but then you don't want it to go too far where people are going to be like, hey, this is actually, like, horrible. Like, I don't want you to put up a mirror and show me what my life is. I just want you to tell me that I'm validated in being upset about this. But then once it becomes like, no, there's bigger issues at play here.

It's like, all right. No, no, that is too much. I have a handle on it. Too much. I think people try to do the whole, like, this is relatable. This will be funny. And then people are just like, whoa, like, this is something bigger. And then they have to get defensive of all that.

Yeah. I also think a good rule of thumb. for people out there that are in relationships and married with kids and stuff. The notion of women are emotional and men don't really give a shit about activities

like the pumpkin patch and whatever is corny. Like that to me is so corny. And I realize that it exists in the world. But like to me I would not want to like associate with someone who's like, oh my, my, my, you know how wives are, they're all bitches. And you're like, you're like, this is corny to me.

So posting that online and like perpetuating that, even as a joke, because also a lot of that content is fucking fake. So like perpetuating that, to me, is like, ultra corny. I'm like, oh, it's the guy. He doesn't care. And the woman. Oh, she cares so much about the little things. And I'm the guy who doesn't do the disj.

Like, to me, that's just corny shit. It's, like, not accurate. My husband is way, way more thoughtful and, like, those little details and, like, he's way better than me about that. Yeah. Like, it's not, it's super, it's so stupid. The Costco video really pissed me off. Which one was that?

Which one was a Costco video? This dude going around asking all these men, how much fun do you have at Costco with your wife? And all these guys were like, negative 10. Yeah, yeah. So that's like corny. Zero. When we were in actually last year, when we were, well, two years ago, we were in L.A.

Do you remember this story? The guy that came up to me. Oh, yeah. We were walking down the street in L.A. And some guy comes up to me and he goes, hey, I recognize. you do you want to I do this show I like interview people on the street do you want to do it and I was like sure what do you want to ask about and he's like well I'm going to ask you a couple questions it'll be super quick and we'll take five minutes of your time and I'm like all right what are you going to ask

I'm scared and the first question he goes well I'm going to ask you know what do you think is a better investment crypto or gold and I was like dude I don't know that and I'm not going to answer that because I'm not going to give advice and I was like what's next he goes all right my second question is why do you think women don't respect men and I was like get the fuck out of here I was like, dude, get out of here because there is like... Why do you think... There's a sect of the internet now that is like gravitating toward that side

where it's just like these hyper-masculine, you know, guys that are just like, yeah, you know what, absolutely. So when shit like that, you know, they post shit like that, it has the effect of like reeling people into that side of the argument. And like, it is corny. I think like that's the best way to describe it is like, it's just corny and stupid and like very immature

I haven't heard the word corny in a while and I really like it Dude growing up in New York Is that big over here? A herb or corny It was like the worst things because it's such an under You never heard that one? No

Like someone that does something that's just like Like it's like overly corny It's like you're a herb like you're not a real person You're doing something just for reactions or like just to get attention on you like to me like the Costco video for instance right like you're walking around and you know this is why I find it so corny is because if someone comes up to you at Costco and they have a camera and they're asking you like how much fun do you have with your wife at Costco you have a decision make because you know you know what he's asking it's a loaded

question so you know what is you know what he's looking for yeah exactly and to me you're corny if you're not going to be yourself. Like if you're just going to say the thing that is going to satisfy the other intel that are watching this, like that's corny. Like, why is that the crowd

that you want to impress? And then the other end of it is they've also taken, like, the people that are just like, no, I love hanging out with my wife. I have so much fun. They didn't have another video. Simp, loser.

And it's like, or completely edited out. Yeah, like, what are you? Like, what are you? Like, I know. It's so, it is, I think that's the best way to describe it is it's corny, it's stupid, and it is the worst parts of the internet. Well, it's like, who are you saying it for?

Exactly. Because it doesn't make your wife feel good, someone you seemingly care about enough to spend the rest of your life with her or them or whatever. But like, who are you doing it for? Are you doing it for the guys? You're doing it. And that's what it is. And like, because you're, you think that there's this like underlying culture of just like

boys have to hate their wives, you know, like, ugh. And it's like, you're not doing this for any reason. other than just like trying to be cool to people that like don't give a fuck about you. They wouldn't know if you died tomorrow. Exactly. So like be cool in your own home. I know. I'm with you.

Um, OP kind of just defends him in the comments. A lot of people are like, you want to deal with this the rest of your life. Um, he's controlling, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Opie does share that she basically had to give him an ultimatum regarding their relationship and getting engaged. So she kind of like gave him, gave him an ultimatum to propose. And so she says, so he didn't seem desperate to ensnare me. First of all, it's...

I've been watching... Harry Potter? Like, what? Ensnare. Like, she's like wild game. Yeah. Like a rabbit running through the forest. I think, I mean, if she had to give an...

I feel like if you have to give someone an ultimatum, it's already over. Like, you're basically just like clinging your life at that time. So... I think there's a difference between like a conversation or like a line and like, are we on the same timeline. Like, what are we thinking versus a true, like, if you don't propose to me today, we're done. And I think some people even look at the conversation

and just, like, kind of having boundaries and, like, timeline being on the same page. They look at that as an ultimatum even. And it's like, I think you gotta clear up what an ultimatum really was. When it comes to that, I think an ultimatum is only like a short-term thing. Because like you said, as the woman traditionally, you are being proposed to.

So speak from the perspective of women, Doug. What I'm saying is like, as the woman, you have an expectation of like, this person is going to propose to me. So I'm kind of waiting around for that. However, you have your own timeline. So there is this ultimatum, if we're being dramatic, of like, hey, you know, if we've been dating for this many years, if we don't get engaged within the next year and a half or something, then I'm going to move on with my life because it feels like this isn't going to go anywhere. Yeah. Like that to me doesn't feel like an actual ultimatum. It's more of like I have to stick up for myself here.

But if it's like, you know, if we don't get engaged by Q1. Yeah. Exactly. Then it's like, all right, I got to rush and do all the things. Because then if you're asking, then it's like you're going to have on the back end, you're just going to have the opinion of like the only reason it's happening now is because I gave them this pressure. Yeah.

And like if that's okay and you want to live with that, that's your thing. But. I know, what is that, a sympathy ring or what's that term? Well, I think people like that are not really interested in the, emotional aspect of it all anyway. Yeah, exactly. It's more of just like for show. Like I need to, I need you to propose to me so that I don't look crazy now. Like people are going to expect me to be proposed and now people can be like, you've been with him for this long, you don't have a ring. Like, what's the deal with that? I just don't have to answer for that. And I don't have to deal

with the actual like emotional reason why I'm still with you. So just give me the ring so I could like pretend. So we get an update on this one. Oh boy. I mean, we've been getting updates a whole time. How about how much worse can it get? It can get worse, right? He killed her. Don't do that. I think a good starting point would be for me to admit that I do believe my fiancé is a good man. He's not cruel. He's not aggressive or violent. And he believes with all of his heart that he's right most of the time. Of course, I realize a lot of people were pretty negative in their comments towards me in response to my original post. And a part of me wants to thank you all for your concern.

But another part of me wonders if part of this negative response is simply because of the nature of his job. After sitting on all of this for a few days, I decided I couldn't put off this conversation anymore. I told him that we have to talk, and this isn't about winning an argument. I began with the recordings. I told him I knew he had been stockpiling arguments with our friends going all the way back a year ago and how it makes me feel violated and threatened. He did not deny this. He explained to me why he holds them, in case things ever get twisted and for protecting himself.

To hear my fiancé speak of our relationship in a way that implies he considers our life a potential lawsuit threatened me. When I mentioned this style of questioning me and observing small shifts in my behavior, he explained that this is simply how his brain works. And that given all he's observed in his work, he simply can't shut it off. He explained to me that pointing out details doesn't mean that he believes I'm doing anything incorrect. It's simply that he likes to verify rather than assume. He told me most detectives' girlfriends simply get used to it, leaving me to wonder if this is a common fact or simply a defense people make when they're in fact engaging in poor behavior.

The background checks on my friends and colleagues, escalated into a bigger problem. He confessed to doing them and stated, definitely he would do the same on people in relation to our future kids. He did not think it was an invasion of privacy, but rather just being informed. The talk of children was most sobering. He doubled down on trackers, no sleepovers,

and careful screening of every adult in their life. When I called this controlling, he said, Healthy doesn't matter if they're safe. That phrase stuck in my head since. I asked him if he trusted me. He paused for a very long time before answering me. He finally said that he trusts me as much as he trusts anyone else.

I think he did not realize how unnerving that answer was. I just want to know where his limits are. I asked him what would happen if we broke up. He said he would never do anything illegal, but that he thinks a man must take care of himself all the time. What's that supposed to even mean? I've asked for some space and I'm currently staying with family. He didn't appear angry and I really thought he would get an attitude about it and accuse me of being dramatic.

He acted very coldly and matter-of-fact about it. While I am not putting an end to our engagement just yet, I'm definitely considering everything. As much as I love him and think he genuinely wants to do good in our relationship, I don't want a life where I am observed, recorded, and assessed, rather than being in a relationship where I have someone's support. I think that this is... I think that this happens a lot in relationships, too, that this guy clearly doesn't respect her.

Like, it's just a lack of respect. Like, if you... These are, like, not little things. These are big things. You know, this is the way that we're going to raise our children. This is the way that our relationship is going. And you're not even really understanding me from an emotional standpoint. You're just looking at it.

had everything very, very like black and white and linear and just kind of like, yeah, I understand and, you know, like there's not really even an understanding. It's, yes, I did that. I think that this is the right course of action and whatever. But that's just not what a relationship in life looks like. It's not a lawsuit. It isn't black and white. No.

It is emotional. I know. And I would be really offended if my husband, even boyfriend at the time, engaged, partner, or whatever, like any level, if he looked at me and said, yeah, I trust you about the same level as everyone else.

Yeah. Don't you trust me more? He doesn't respect her. Yeah, I also think that this person clearly thinks that they're the center of the universe. And like they have an issue

relinquishing, you know, uh, control to any capacity. So it's like, they are like in the state of like, I'm going to control it all. I'm going to do it all.

They clearly have a warped mentality of like what masculinity is. Like a man should always take care of himself first. And it's like, Again, what does that mean? Yeah, I mean, there's certain people, like, you come across people in your life that you're like, no matter what you do, you can't do anything to change them. They're just, unfortunately, every ass has a seat. There will be someone that will, you know, be more open to this person's lifestyle.

It just sounds like this Reddit O.P. Got the term. There you go. It's just not that person. And you're clearly, for lack of better terms, excuse the pun, you're dodging a bullet here. Because if the control, if you think that at any point, if and when you were to have a family and children and like incorporate that aspect of life into your relationship, if you think that like they're going to then relinquish control, you are severely mistaken. You know, I don't, I know you don't have. I don't know if you, this person has friends or family in their life that has children.

But like, that's a part of life when like you need to be a team. You need to be a unit. You need to be making decisions. And also you need, I can't understand the mentality of just like. Like, I have it all figured out, but they have things figured out about a part of life that they have no experience with. So, like, unfortunately for OP, like, it is only going to get worse if they continue life because there are so many aspects of like that they haven't even challenges. They haven't hurtled yet or even approached that it doesn't seem like everything they've learned about this person that they're going to be able to do it as a unit. He is going to try to do it himself and then fall back on the whole like, well, it's because I know best.

it's someone who's probably like violently insecure can't relinquish control and this person is better off with someone like the next person that comes around if they decide to like break the engagement off is going to be like so the opposite end of the spectrum yeah and then hindsight will be 20 20 and they'll see like oh shit like i that was bad that was really bad yeah yeah if you're in a relationship like this you're going to spend the rest of your life you know trying to just win your partner's approval which is not how a relationship should be be. And then he'll never be wrong. He's never trying to win your approval. No, he doesn't respect you. He doesn't trust you clearly. He said it. So she's doing the work for the relationship. I know. Like, I don't know if I said it about this one or another one. This sounds like a cry for help, you know, and like she's doing the one where she's like, no, defending him and blah, blah, blah. Like, she's the one that's trying to make it all

work. And he's just like, no. I will stand by. I think that, you know, like the whole thing about like being extra careful about who your kids are bringing around. I, as a parent, like, I get it to a degree. This guy has access to a lot more resources, so, like, I'm not going to sit there and say, like, I'm 100% on his side. Yeah. But your mind does get a little barbaric and crazy when you have children because... No, there's some good points and... Like, that is, like, there is a sense of, like, the world is scary. Like, when you have kids, you want to keep them close because the outside world is what's scary. So, like, there are points where you've probably thought as a parent some crazy things, you know, but you also don't have the

resources to do those things, you know, and if this is someone that is this, I don't want to use the term unhinged lightly, but like, just a little nuts, then. I agree. I mean, I think there's some blinders on right now and like some of his point is completely valid, but again, just a little too far and that is kind of the resources, but it's like, what's this? There's like a quote. It's like the power quote, maybe it's from like Spider-Man or something, where it's like... Please don't quote Spider-Man unless you're going to have me do it correctly. But like, you know, the one with the power? It's like...

With great power comes great responsibility. Well, close, close, close. Is that Iron Man? What's it from? Oh, God. See, I'm going to scream into the microphone right now. What is it? Say it, please. It's with great power must also come great responsibility. Uncle Ben, Spider-Man.

Okay, I knew where it came from, though. That's crazy. Good job. But that's, you know, he's got to reel it in and have, you know, the responsibility side of it. Yeah, I also don't want to just start like loosely throwing around the term of like abuse, but like someone that has a little more understanding of that world might be able to look at this under a different scope and say like, this is potentially dangerous because again, she's doing the work to be like, no, no, no, no, no, everything's okay. And then. Yeah. I mean, it's absolutely abuse.

Like it's, I mean, it's very clearly abuse. I'm not a professional. Neither am I. Well, we'll let them chime in. We'll wait for them in the comment. Do you think you'll see it? Or you're listening? Our listeners.

Yeah, we've got a lot of psychologist, LMFTs, like a lot of therapists. So on some of the stories, we'll get like their takes. I love when like our lawyers chime in on legal stories. Like we have a good community that comments. But this post is, the update is from December 15th, 2025. So just a few weeks ago. Oh, my. So I could see us getting another update eventually.

Got to get some internet sleuths to like check. Exactly. Some homicide detectives in the country. Exactly. let's see who maybe we can find him and like yeah maybe don't open that gross it's not going to come for you okay maybe not one last one to just like send us off on a good foot in a good mood okay love and foot what you say I was gonna say love of foot I was gonna say love going off on a good on a good note but like I said love foot he loves feet

not really no don't start that let's make that very clear you're the one that wants to make a foot A candy foot. I'm trying to give him business advice, which is a very sought after commodity nowadays. You're going to be the first customer. You want to try it. No, ew. Don't do that. This one is titled me, 19 female, with a guy I'm seen, 20 male, three dates.

He only wears the same shirt. Hold on. Is that it? No. Oh, okay. I'll let you finish. Hey Reddit, so I've been seen this guy. We met through a work friend. So we weren't friends before anything. like that. He's really great, attractive, has a nice job. He's funny, considerate A-plus. I really like him. We texted a little bit before our first date. I said that I'd really like a casual date. When I get to the restaurant, he's wearing a, where's the beef shirt? Fire. Stop. I thought it was

hilarious. I loved it. Second date. We go bowling. It was adorable. I'm terrible at it, but I do love bowling. He's terrible too, so we used the bumpers. Kids were making fun of us, but it was really great. He's wearing the same shirt again. I assumed it was because I thought it was so funny on the first date. Third date. He's making me dinner at his place. I get there. It's the same shirt.

Two weeks has gone by since the first date. I asked him if it's a running joke or if it was just a coincidence. He shows me his closet. Every single shirt. Every single one that read, Where's the beef? He opens a drawer. even more of them, exactly the same.

He says the ones in the drawer are a size bigger for around the house and sleeping in. He has a lot of them. Probably about 20, but I'm not sure. 20? I asked why. And he said he just really likes that shirt. Yeah. I was really weirded out.

But we had dinner and then I left. I called my friends who introduced us. He said, oh, yeah, he always wears that shirt. I thought I told you that. No, you did fucking not. Reddit, what do I do? I really like this guy, but I don't know if I want to start something with a guy that dresses like a cartoon character. What would you do? Help.

See, this is tough. I think there's two routes to go, obviously. That not being into it and saying like, listen, no thank you. I just want to see other people. You don't necessarily need to give a reason why. or triple down, show up to his place with a boombox outside of his window wearing a What's the Beef shirt? Uh-huh. And just be, you know, there you go.

There you go. You know, a sign of romance. So then you're just fully in now. Fully in on the beef. Where's the Beef family? Oh, man. This is, you know what's funny is I think, I feel like we know someone that would do something like this where they just have the same shirt over and over and over again. I don't even know who you're thinking.

This is such a college-coded thing where their whole personality is just like quippy graphic teas and stuff like that which as a reformed graphic t-shirt wearer Reformed? Reformed. I feel like I can understand that. I didn't know what was going on.

She's going to get a gun. She's going to get it. Stop. Wait, is this the shirt? First of all, the fact that it's yellow makes this a hundred times. Isn't it from a Wendy's commercial from like the 80s? Is that what it is? I believe it was like the commercial was like an old woman.

Or was it Wendy's or first of all, if you're a fast food company and you have to have a thing that says, where's the beef? Problem. Should be right there in your commercial. You shouldn't have to look hard to find the beef. Yeah. This is incredible. And why do you guys do have something nice to remember our time? Thank you.

And I swear to God, I feel like if you walk into someone's house and then they have 30 shirts. 30 of those. Where's the beef? Yellow shirts in general. So I think in this story, there's some context that it's red with yellow writing.

Not much better. Not much better. It is better, but not much. I think that, like, if you actually wanted to date this guy, I'd be like, dude, you're not going to let this go? Like, it's time.

Yeah. Is it a bet? Were you bullied as a kid? Well, someone comments that. There's something going on. Something there. Someone goes, what if he was traumatized as a child by a different shirt?

We just don't know. Yeah, I mean, do we have information on what? Like, if he just says, like, yeah, I just like them. There's clearly, like, his, like, fraternity, like, made a bet. Like, listen, dude, wear the shirt until she realizes it. And then when she does, you have the amount of dates. You have to drink that many bushlights and just absolutely rage hard at the next formal. Dude, 20 shirts of the same shirt.

Mm-hmm. That's not even necessary. Also, can I... It's a month for a sec. Well, he doesn't want to run out. You know, he's conservative with laundry. For a second, okay? Okay.

I think that one of the things that could be taken from this, what was the Reddit thread on this? Is it a listener? Do we know? It is coming from R slash relationships. Okay. It's 10 years old now. 10 years old, first of all,

this was prime, like, people doing things just to get, be quirky on the internet. which I guess still happens. Two, if nothing else, this shows that this person is committed, they are loyal. Where that loyalty is, maybe today it's placed in

where's the beef t-shirts, maybe tomorrow it's placed in the relationship. And then how beautiful, let me do this. Let me, let me go. I haven't said it work. Pull in tight, please. If you could just play some like,

you know, like sappy music behind me. There's no in here. You know, one day, there will come a time where he finally takes that wears the beef shirt off. And it will be a moment, a stepping stone in that relationship. O.P., if you're listening, do you want to be that moment? Do you want to be the person that he takes off the wears the beef shirt for? Do you want to take that t-shirt off? Rip it off.

Like, Hulk Codley. He probably wouldn't like that. He probably wouldn't like that at all. He's got 19 more. It's okay. Yeah. I mean. Can't get a little wild with one.

I don't, and I feel like there's. You could donate these to him. Yeah. So then he's got... I'm not going to enable. He doesn't need more. 20 shirts is like, how can that even be possible? Like, that's one for 20 days.

You can wear the same shirt and not do laundry. I kind of respect it, honestly. There's a level of dedication here that I am almost envious of. Like, they can just commit to one shirt. If anything, it makes going out and, you know, figuring out what to wear so much easier. I panic every time I have to be dressed. Yeah.

What if you know, like, I'm going out. Where's the beef? I'm on an island here. I'm going out, where's the beef? Also, how is this appropriate in like every setting? You know what I mean? No, I didn't. But where's he wearing a wedding?

He's got a, Where's the beef under the tucks? Probably. He works in IT, so he gets away with it for his job. Oh, okay. Very casual. They're very casual. Yeah. Every day's where's the beef.

I feel like, you know, I understand why people can look at this and say like, Ew, what? I think this is a man that just wants to be loved for his t-shirt collection. And yet something is getting in the way of that. It's all there is to that. It's ironic. Something is getting in the way of this love that you seek and it's the beef. How can you look at this and not be in love with somebody? You got to love someone inside and out from the tip of their head.

Tip of their head. Where is the tip of your head? Some people have pointy heads. Yes, they do. I guess technically the tip of a head would be a chin. No, that's a chin. That's not how that works. Why? It's technically a tip.

I feel like the tip is the top. But the tip does not need to be the top. That's the tippy top. Would you say the tip of a needle is the top of the needle? No, it's the bottom of the needle. What are you talking about? Needle tip? It's not the bottom.

That's a plunger. The tip of the needle is where you put it into people. No, because then they turn it upside down in order to use it properly. You just said it turn it. upside down. Well, they hold it in a specific manner that for appropriate proper usage, which means technically

when it is used properly, it is the bottom. I feel like you're doing a lot of gymnastics to make that work for you. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I don't know how. How would you even react if you like went to a dude's house and he just had like the same? You know what that reminds me? I remember in the movie

Dodgeball where he goes to her house and she's got all unicorns and she seemingly otherwise is like normal and you get in like, what is going on here? I mean, I would have asked on the third date. I'm very curious. So I'd have been like, what's the story? I would have asked on the first.

What's the story? Well, you didn't know about, like, No, because people wear quirky things. Date number two, you could have asked bowling. Yeah, but I'd be like, where's the beef? Yeah, that's the shirt. People have quirks. You guys are missing a full picture here.

This person is beyond a quirk. If they are loyal to their shirt. Maybe it's a kink. They are going to be loyal. Maybe, maybe they keep it on when things get a little more intimate. I am certain of that. And then there's an answer to where's the beef. You know what I'm saying?

Like it fits every part of life. And here it is. Where's the beef? And here it is. I'm excited for you to share in that glory with him. Who am I sharing with what? You wear your shirt. Yeah.

Oh, I mean, I will tell you this. I'm going to go home and my wife is going to be like, first question I have. Where did you get that? Why the shirt? Yeah. Thank you for this. This was really kind.

I know how. I'm going to give it a go. Should we wear it out of here? Come on. Come on. No, I'm just going to commit to just in my apartment at first, just to try it out. Okay. And see if the beast takes over me.

It can also just be like a sleep shirt or literally a donation shirt that you just then feel really good about. See, I am big on gifts and I will hold this. We've got to go. I know, I'm sorry. Yeah, that's not. This will be forever in my home. This will get passed down to my grandchildren probably. Holy shit.

Where can people listen to you first? Like, thanks for coming on. Thank you for having us. Yes, thank you so much for having us. Where can people find you? You can find us at the basement yard, YouTube, and Spotify, and wherever you find podcast. Everywhere. Yeah.

All of their links will be in the description, super easy to find. Amazing podcast, quirky, fun. You guys are quirky. We're quirky. We're quirky? Like 2009 Zoe D. Chanel? I don't know if we're that quirked. Yeah, probably not.

Okay. But we're quirky. Thank you both. Until next time, guys. Bye.