Two Hot Takes - 258: From the Vault..

Episode Date: March 6, 2026

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Lauren, Justin & Michaela! Change of plans this birthday episode and we're dropping an assortment of our most juicy, jaw dropping, puzzling Patreon stories. Can't wait to see what you think about some of these.. they really are drama inducing. Hope to see you over on Patreon soon! Patreon BONUS Content including FREE stories: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Partners: Duluth Trading Company: Shop at DuluthTrading.com and in-store today. State Farm: Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with the Personal Price Plan! NEW MERCH:  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://shop.twohottakes.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Send us a letter? Our PO Box!! Two Hot Takes. 5042 Wilshire BLVD. #470. Los Angeles, CA 90036  WRITE IN TO US!!! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Index: 00:00 -- Start Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi friends. It's my birthday today, so I'm dropping this a little early. I just want to say thank you guys for being here. Two Hot Takes celebrated its five-year birthday in February. We didn't really talk about it even. And I'm just so excited to be on this next trip around the sun with all of you. You ready for the little birthday treat I've got? I'm pulling a couple stories from the Patreon Vault. Give you guys a little sneak peek what we've been doing over there. And if you want more, come on. over. I just did a bonus episode with Lauren. Yes, Lauren is still around. Our schedules just have not been lining up. She's a busy working gal. But rest assured, she will be back. And until then, enjoy these bonus stories. This episode is presented by Duluth Trading Company, number one in garden. Diggin' spring gardening wearing Duluth trading's five-star gardenware. Their dirt and debris deflecting, moisture wicking, and have 50 plus sun protection for those long days in the rays. Their heirloom garden overalls are made from stretchy, durable ripstop nylon and loaded with 12 pockets. Plus kneepad pockets for extra comfort.

Short overalls, overall dress, overshirt and pants are all new to the collection too. So whether you have one garden bed or 100 acres, there's gardenware for every green thumb. Shop at DuluthTraining.com and in store today. Thanks to Luth Training Company, my hometown brand, guys. I'm going to shake us up a little bit. Shake you it up. We're getting into some mother-in-law drama. Mother-in-law says I'm ruining the weird photos she tried to sneak of my new baby. Need to get some feedback on this because it's driving me crazy. My 37 female family has been staying with my husband's 36 male parents, 59 female

and 59 male, for a week. And we'll be at their home for another week before we have to head home to get the kids ready to go back to school. My mother-in-law and I, don't necessarily get along, but she's been trying to play nice since I gave birth to our fourth child, a boy, four months ago. However, I suppose the nice act has ended because she's been stirring the pot and pushing my buttons since we got to their house, rummaging through my clothes, whining that I should bottle feed instead of nursing, so she has a chance to feed, quote, her baby, the works. No.

I've been biting my tongue because my husband loves his family, and this is some of the only time we get to see his siblings. But at the end of this week, mother-in-law storms downstairs while we're eating breakfast, and the kids are in the yard playing, claiming we needed to talk. I go through a mental checklist, trying to figure out which one of her household rules I've broken

or how I've managed to piss her off this time, when she slaps her phone down on the counter and begin scrolling through photos that are all of me and the baby. Photos she apparently took while I wasn't paying attention, as most of them are blurry or from strange angles, down low as though she angled her phone up while it was in her lap. One of them is taken through a crack in the door to hubby and I's bedroom. Oh my God.

I ask mother-in-law what her problem is and why she's been taking photos of me and the baby like a lunatic instead of just asking for my help with taking photos I would approve of. I don't want my infant son's face plastered all over her social media. I cover it with emojis in my Facebook pictures. She complains that she doesn't want to put, quote, those stupid pictures all over his face, and that I won't put him down long enough for her to get a photo of him by himself.

He's been contact napping, and I wear him for most of the day. And she can't post the photos she took because I'm huge and ruining them by looking ridiculous. What? For context, I'm definitely on the heavier side, 5.3, 230 pounds. And because half of these photos are from a weird low angle, I have a prominent double chin. And baby is usually pressed up against me either in my arms or his wrap. So the photos are pretty much just unflattering pictures of me with the baby's head

and maybe an arm or a leg visible. What a nut! I tell her that I'm not going to entertain this behavior, and since she decided to approach the supposed problem like this, she can work with what she's already got, but she's definitely not getting a solo photo op with my baby now. Hubby is understanding and supports my decision, even getting in the way when he sees mother-in-law

trying to sneakily take more photos or distracting her so I can leave the room, but some people think I'm blowing this out of proportion. Father-in-law says mother-in-law has a right to take photos of her grandchild, and it's not her fault that I'm insecure about how fat I am. Hubby's twin sister is also being dismissive because, quote, she's always been catty about weight. Why are you acting so insulted like it's the first time? Even my sister, when I called and complained about this,

acted like I was making mountains out of molehills. Quote, she was like this 60 pounds ago. Why is it suddenly a big deal again? No one will listen to me when I insist that I don't care about her comments on my weight. I care that she's sneaking around taking photos like a stalker because she doesn't respect me enough to ask my permission to take photos of my baby. She doesn't want to have to follow my rules about covering his face and can't wrench him out of my arms to get pictures of him. So she's just been acting like a creep instead.

I'm nursing him in one of these photos. This is weird, right? Am I crazy? I mean, can you imagine it happens, like the confrontation happens at the table. Slams phone out. I can't post any of these because you've ruined it. You're essentially just showing that you've been taking all these secret pictures. And then you have this encounter.

And then now still, because I probably would have left at that time. I would have packed my shit and gone home. Now we're playing this game. It's almost like a comedy. How the mom is still trying to sneak these photos. The audacity. After the confrontation. So now husband will distract so she can get out of the room or will like get in the way of

So the whole rest of the time you've been there After this insane interaction You have to watch around you To see mother-in-law coming up Like trying to sneak another photo You can't even make this stuff up You're on edge the whole time Going outside and then you look up at the windows of the house

And mother-in-law is like in one of them trying to I just I can't even It's just like It's comical And to get the one leg and the one arm and the breastfeeding the breastfeeding picture what a weirdo she is a crazy crazy woman see here's the thing knowing that she took a picture through the gap of the bedroom door that's i'd be fucking in there every chance i got it's just i'd be like you want to catch a picture you're gonna

catch my fat ass fucking your son she called her fat she literally called her fat she literally called her fat. Oh my god, Morgan After Hours. This is hilarious. I'm like, this one really set me off. I don't know. Like, I know why. Like, it's pretty outrageous. It just kept getting worse. It just kept getting worse and worse. And the fact that people are

enabling her craziness and like this absurdity, this disrespect, this behavior, like these are the flying monkeys quite literally. And the father-in-law, too. I mean,

I would be really hurt. Like, you call your own sister and your own sister says she was like this 60 pounds ago. Yeah. Oh. No wonder why you're questioning if you're overreacting,

which I didn't mention this is coming from the Am I overreacting subreddit? No, you're not overreacting. This is terrible. And I get hobbies doing a decent job trying to be on your side and distracting and dodge, dip,

dive, distract, whatever, you know. But if you want to be more on my side, we're leaving. Yeah, step up the moment it happened. This is not okay. You know what I think she should do? She should say no phones while we're here. Phones in a bin, no phones. And you can have a camera that prints.

And you can put it in a photo album. And then you can show all of your friends. in a photo album when they go to your house. She's just going to take a picture of that picture. Straight to Facebook. But I'm just picturing her trying to sneak one with a camera like that or one of the old disposables and it flashes and it's like. Yep, yep, exactly.

But it's just the door. And you look, yeah. But you see you're trying to like sneak it around and just you just see the flash. I mean, it's absolutely insane. Yes, all the stuff, all the comments and everything are terrible. But her sneaking around and trying to do this is terribly frightening at the same time

it's kind of hilarious I know that this is not South Park we're not watching South Park but you could see them turning the story into one of their little segments because it is just that ridiculous this is an S&L skit

I don't think it's funny like it's very hurtful there's a lot of serious things happening. But just her, after it happened, still trying to sneak around to do the photos. I mean, that is just wild. It's one of those things you can't help but laugh to keep from crying because of how ridiculous it is. It's crazy. And does then feel like, this is weird, right? Like, am I crazy? No, you're not crazy. You're not overreacting. Your mother-in-law's a bitch. Disrespectful. Everyone else is enabling her and being cruel.

Like, it's really, really strange. Ooh, should we get into the comments? Mm-hmm. I'm a little scared. Why? I don't know. Top comment. Not overreacting.

I'd report her picks on social media with your baby and say it's inappropriate child content or something. Because the picks looked like they've been taken stealthily. It kind of works in your favor, L.O.L. I'm sorry people aren't respectful of your wishes, but it's great that your husband is, he seems to be trying to help. Also, side note, you are allowed to be annoyed at somebody body shaming you and ask them to stop. I hate how older generations think they are allowed to pass for things like this, racism, sexism, et cetera. O.P. responds, I didn't even think about reporting her photos. If they manage to pop up on her Facebook, I'll definitely do that to get them taken down.

I've told her to mind her business about my body, especially in front of my children, but she's nosy and can't help them make comments. So long is there just to me or to my husband in private, I can at least let them roll off. She's been somewhat better about keeping her mouth shut while the older kids are around. Damn. It's sad.

And that's one of those things that like hearing comments like that when you're young can really mess with you. Yeah. There's certain things that people have said, good, bad, or somewhere in between, that have stuck with me forever. Yeah. And you just, you never, ever forget it.

I know. The bad ones for sure stick out, you know, but I'm saying there's a range. And you never know when that's happening in the moment. But it's interesting as you get older when you look back. And you're like, yeah, that's stuck with me the whole time. I know. I feel like that's something that like being told I was fat,

literally like, I don't know, what was it, fourth grade, fifth grade playground by this kid named Tyler, like that created such an insecurity with me. And like looking back at that age, like you're going through gross spurts. Like everyone at that age is a little pudgy and growing and awkward. But that like probably really started my insecurities. And like I've had body issues and whatever since. And a lot of it's also from hearing my parents talk about weight and oh, I'm so fat. and ugh, I'm fat and I'm just, like that was very common in my house.

Like, my dad still can talk like that. He's very sensitive about his weight and being fit. And that's why he tries all these diet trends and keto, this, and whatever weird thing he's on now. Like, it's just, it's something that's really affected me. So this would be a really hard boundary for me that if we're going to come and visit, you don't talk about weight. There's no body shaming. and if there is, we're leaving. Yeah.

You won't have a relationship with your grandkids because quite frankly, it's not healthy. I wouldn't trust the kids around her as is. I am. Like, that's also a really tough part about having these strained relationships is kids will expose every fault in a relationship, not just between the parents of the kid,

but between all the relationships beyond. Yeah. Because if in this case, you can picture her not wanting our kids to be around his mom, and he is going to be caught in the middle of that. And that can be really, really tough on a relationship. But there's really no option in this case. It's that bad. It's also like not that tough on a relationship when one person is clearly in the wrong. Right.

But then it'll become not just a problem with her. it'll become a problem with him, depending on where it falls. And then you really have a lot to assess. Well, and someone does ask, like, what has your husband really been doing in all of this? Like, how has he engaged with her? What is he said? And so someone goes, what if your husband told her directly to cut the crap? That would be the most logical and clear way to resolve the situation.

Obviously, she doesn't hear your words, which is bullshit. I don't know if I could stand another week of name-calling, disrespect, and frame. fragrant flouting of reasonable rules, or otherwise, you're the parent. I have set, or my husband and I have implemented, the car train airport would already be looking delicious. O.P. does respond. Husband has told her to knock it off, and she doesn't listen to him either. I feel lucky to be married to a man with a spine and not an eager to please mama's boy. But watching her bulldoze him when he tries to put his foot down irks me. Glad your mother-in-law's a delight makes up for the rest of us who have to deal with bat shit crazy and beyond. I'm planning on skipping on the rest of this lovely vacation and taking

the baby with me. But thank you for the advice and the well wishes. We already spend way more time with my family than his, but the ratio might be tipping even further in my folks' favor now. Yeah. And someone else just goes, your husband needs to do more than say, knock it off. Yes, better than nothing, but he needs to have boundaries. If she says shit, he will leave with the family, then do it every time. He needs to train her to be respectful or leave. Yeah. And that's like, that's kind of what I'm saying, like, go. Like, you can't say knock it off and then not have a consequence for said boundary. Would you have a hard time with this one? I don't, I don't know. like I yeah it's it's all just making me think about so many I'm just really like invested listening to

you guys honestly and just thinking about the concept of all of it too because it is it is interesting you know somebody mentioned like I'm tired of like older generation thinking they can get away with saying XYZ and I just think it does tie into the fact that like this like an older generation is used to growing up being able to show and share pictures seeing their grandparents share pictures of them with all their family members. And so it is like in that aspect of like taking photos of the baby and then having to put like something over the baby's face to put like to share it with people. That's probably like extremely foreign for the older generation and really irritating. There's no excuse for her going into body shaming. I'm just thinking about the

bigger picture of just like how that would be weird. to be, I don't know, like 80 years old and then being used to like generation after generation sharing photos and getting so excited as much as you can and then being told that you have to put like an emoji over the face. Like I'm not surprised that there's some resistance with people in that aspect. I think it's going to be really hard for our parents. Like our parents. Like your guys' parents? Yeah. Like I know my mom. I think you just define it though. Yeah. And I think you can. But I know my mom is going to. going to be like, why?

She's just not going to get it if we are like, we don't want to show our kids face on social media. Like, she won't get it. And I think when they get to a point where, you know, they're older and like can kind of understand, like, do you want your picture posted to people? But like when they're so little and like if my baby pictures were out there being posted and like me in a bathtub, like some of these influencers share, I'd be pissed at my parents. It's like there are kids that grow up in those households and are like,

that was terrible. Like the fact I didn't have a choice, like that sucks. So I don't know. And then it's like if it's a harmless family photo, like whatever. Like I love the pictures of me when I was a little kid. You know, it's so cool to see. And we kind of grew up when they weren't, they didn't have a place to be circulated publicly.

There wasn't social media. It did stay within family or, you know, or even just in photo albums. And then what you choose to share in. now is your choice. Yeah. I'm not like on you know too hot takes level and so for me like when I think about having a kid like I don't there's not a part of me that feels worried about posting my kid's face like in terms of like posting photos I wouldn't mind it but I know a lot of people do and and for valid reasons. So it's just like a whole new topic that we're entering with you know the different, it's jarring to generations who don't understand it because that's what they

thrived off of. Well, it was such an exciting new thing for them. Getting to share a photo online with your friends. But I'm just saying like, you know, they grew up. Like the light bulb getting invented. They grew up. Yeah. And they grew up off of like sharing photos as a part of like a love language.

You know, like you see in movies all the time. It's like like the guy brings over a girl and the mom is like, oh, let me show you baby photos. Like it's just such a. It's such a love language of like showing. So was that from Meet the Falkers? I don't know which one I'm thinking of. I think I'm,

I feel like I'm thinking of that like Ryan Reynolds movie when I said that. I could see that one too. You literally sounded like Barbara Streisand though. And Meet the Fokers. I mean, it takes it to the next level, though, when mother-in-law thinks it's her baby. Oh, yeah. Yeah, no, there's definitely.

Yeah. A lot. Yeah, I forgot about that aspect, too. And, like, that just making those type of comments is so infuriating. Like, this is... My baby. It's like... No. Like, what the fuck. Regardless of the generational differences, like, this person's crossing boundaries no matter what. You know, it's just, that's, that's very clear. We've been down that rabbit hole on this show before. Someone does point that out. So fucking weird. Her baby, what? Psychotic, to be honest. I wouldn't be able to deal with. with this. O.P. goes, she's baby crazy, and so far my children are her only grandkids. I'm glad I haven't lost it and that this is creepy behavior. If Hubs didn't like his siblings so much, we'd never set foot in this house. O.P. does have an edit. Thank you guys for proof that I'm not crazy. Honestly, didn't even think about going home early. I was fully prepared to just grit my teeth

for the rest of this visit because we only took one car on the drive up here. I'm packing my and my son's things, and when husband gets back from fishing with his dad and his brother, I'm asking him if he can drive me and the baby back home. I'll be able to have peace of mind and have the house to myself for a few days so I can get things in order before the kids have to go back to school. Edit 2 slash update. Husband is back. They're home from fishing early because brother-in-law lost his pole and they forgot to bring any spares.

He and I have been texting since he left early this morning, and he's taking the baby and I home. And we're planning on having a conversation about what time spent with his folks will look like going forward on the drive back. Thank you all for the advice, giving me the gumption to leave early, and keeping me company with your comments while I packed my stuff. Update. I wasn't going to update because I got home with the baby and settled in and thought nothing of it. Just communicated with my husband and my 14-year-old through texts and phone calls while they were gone. but problems started to follow pretty soon after.

After my husband returned to his parents' house without the baby and I, his mother huffed and started grumbling about how dramatic I am, how possessive I am of her baby. Oh my God. How I was ruining this trip for everyone. Sister-in-law began winding her up, talking about how I didn't want anyone else to build a relationship with the baby. Husband told both of them to mind their business and

get a grip, mentioning to mother-in-law that he needed to have a serious talk with her once the kids left with brother-in-law for lunch. Mother-in-law rolled her eyes and walked off. They have a talk, and husband insists to mother-in-law and father-in-law that they can't expect me to roll over and let them stomp all over my limits just because they want access to our baby, that we are the final say in what happens with our children, and if they can't get on board with that, they can forget about seeing them. especially not unsupervised. He told mother-in-law that her sneaking around acting like my word meant

nothing was childish and proved she wasn't trustworthy, and he told both of them to keep their opinions about my weight to themselves. This starts what husband told me later was practically a two-to-three-hour argument that only stopped because brother-in-law came back with the kids and husband refused to discuss this in front of them. Mother-in-law pulling out. crocodile tears and asking why he won't defend her, insisting that I'm, quote, trying to ruin their relationship. Husband has never been close with his mother, and that she just wants to show off her baby to her friends and the extended family. Husband responds that if she really wanted to take pictures of the baby, all she had to do was ask for help so he or I could cover the baby's face. Mother-in-law and

father-in-law argue that they shouldn't have to ask permission, their grown adults, and can do as they please in their own home. Husband reminds them that it is our baby, not theirs, and since they felt so strongly, that is why I removed myself from the situation, and if they wanted to see my baby, they could do it at our house, where they'll have to follow our rules. This went back and forth, with mother-in-law eventually shouting and stomping her feet until brother-in-law returned. For the rest of the day, mother-in-law was grumbling under her breath and practically ignoring our older children, even as my five-year-old was clamoring for her attention. Husband paid her no mind and spent the evening playing board games with the kids and brother-in-law while sister-in-law and his mother

sulked in the kitchen. Fast forward to last night. Husband was having a couple of beers with his brother while mother-in-law and sister-in-law have wine in the kitchen. Father-in-law had gone to bed early, and the kids were asleep. Husband, here's mother-in-law and sister-in-law giggling to each other. And while casually checking his phone, he sees that mother-in-law has posted all of the photos she took of me on her Facebook page, captioning them with, quote, my name won't let me see my grandson.

So you'll have to excuse her hogging the frame. Wow. I just like need a moment here. What the fuck? Do you like, man, that makes you look crazy too. Like, that makes you look like the only crazy one. Yeah, like you think everyone's going to come to your rescue. Like, oh, no, I'm so sorry.

It doesn't make her look crazy. It shows who she is. You took pictures through a door gap. Did she post that? Oh, my God. Can you imagine? I mean, I guess I can on this one. In the comments of her post,

she was chatting with her sisters about me, derogatory comments on my hair, as my icon and username reflects, I'm a natural redhead, shaming me from my selfishness and obviously comments on my body, husband flips his shit, demanding that mother-in-law take the photos down, or he'd take her phone from her and do it himself. Apparently, there were more photos than even the ones we saw at first, and several of them, my top is fully. open nursing bra unclipped. Mother-in-law is unaware husband is serious and tries teasing him that she thought he wasn't ashamed of being married to a fat woman.

Wow. What a actual fucking bitch. Husband rushes into the kitchen and snatches mother-in-law's phone out of her hands after a brief scuffle, deleting the photos from mother-in-law's Facebook, and then taking some of them off her phone altogether before throwing her phone down on the counter and telling her that he was leaving first thing in the morning. Mother-in-law scowls and starts shouting that it isn't fair. He's taking my side. He responds that he loves me and that it isn't my side versus hers. It's our side versus hers. Nice. I'm pretty out of the loop about all of this at this point.

I've been cleaning the house, looking after the baby, and dealing with the cold I was apparently incubating for the first week of our visit. So I get a call from hubs while I'm doing laundry. in the basement. He's in his car trying to keep himself calm, but says that he'll be home early with the kids in the morning and that he wanted to have a discussion with me about our plans moving forward. He tells me what happened. I calm him down, and we both head to bed. Fast forward to this morning, and I get up early with the baby to have breakfast and coffee waiting. Hubs arrives with 14, 10, and 5-year-old at about 6 a.m. We have breakfast, and then the kids peel off to do their own thing. Our daughters leave for their friend's houses, and the five-year-old goes into the basement den to watch cartoons

on the big TV. Hubs and I talk, and he says he's done with that annual visit to his parents' place, and that he's planning to have some one-on-one time with his brother a few times a year instead. We go over a plan of action in terms of much stricter boundaries, deciding that the kids won't be going to the in-laws' house anymore, and while the in-laws visit us at our house, if they act out, they'll be kicked out. Mother-in-law has been blowing up his phone since he left, but he's ignoring her for the time being and helping me with cleaning. He also sheepishly admitted that as disrespectful and frustrating as mother-in-law's creepy photos were, they'd given him a new appreciation for my round face.

I picked a winner, y'all, truly. Duh! Such a happy ending to a eight terrible story. I know, it just kept getting worse and worse. This girl's a psychopathic person. See, but if you have someone that's truly a partner, then nothing can take you down. I'm obsessed with the, it's not your side versus hers.

It's our side versus you. That was good. That is something we should all remember. Like, I think that's a really good point. Like, when you are together, especially when you have, kids. Yeah. It's our side. It's not mine. Right. It's not his. It's our side. We are a family unit. We're making decisions as a family. Yeah. That, Mike drop. Mm-hmm. That's really good. He seems like a great husband. I cannot believe this woman. I don't know if we... Just out of her mind.

I don't know if we've seen this level of like, open vitriol towards another person. Like, truly, to go on your Facebook. She's hogging the frame. Oh, you enjoy being married to a fat woman. Like, again and again and again, hammering that, like, her being fat is such a negative bad thing. It's such a burn. She's using it against her in every possible way.

And I just saw a clip of someone, and they were like, the first insult to a woman is always calling her fat. You're fat or you're ugly. Like that's the biggest insults And it's interesting that people think That's what hurts women the most And that's what they jump to

It's an interesting tidbit But wow I mean I feel like Wow No matter what She saw her as getting in the way Of her having this relationship With her baby

I hate that she says that It doesn't matter who that person is It doesn't matter their weight, their appearance, anything about them, she would have found something to attack them with. I think so. So it's like if she was anyone, honestly, anybody else, she's this barrier in between that,

there's going to be some sort of attack, no matter, I mean, it could be anything. But I feel like- She'd continue to find a reason. I just feel like mother-in-law would do it to anyone in this sense. not simply because of her weight in her appearance. It's because she was this, she was the barrier. And so whoever it is, I feel like it'd be the same story. Maybe different words and mean things said, but I don't, it's just crazy. I love where we ended up. But oh, it just gets you

going. I know I'm pissed. I can't end on that note. But, Holy smokes. Oh. Wow. Wow. Wow. Do we end on that? I don't know.

What do you guys think? I don't know. Do you have like maybe just like a little kicker? A little kicker? Yeah. I don't know. Does this sound like a little kicker? This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We love a hot take. We do not love a complicated.

decision. That's why State Farm makes bundling easy. With a personal price plan, you can choose the coverage you need and get a price that works for you. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on ratings plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state. This is coming from relationships, titled Girlfriend of Two Years replaced all of my old books with new copies. Angry doesn't begin to describe how I feel. Girlfriend is 28 female.

O.P. 28 male. Okay. I had a collection of 200 books and 80 comic books or so from when I was a child till maybe around the age of 14 or 15. I love reading so I'd get tons of books and save my pocket money to buy books. At this point, most of those books. would be a decade and a half to 20 plus years old. Some of them were falling apart, but they were my copies, and for the most part kept in decent condition for books that age. I had to go away for a month on back-to-back business trips. When I came home, my girlfriend told me that she had a surprise for me

at my house. She showed me a brand new bookshelf with new copies of all of my old books and comic books. I asked her where the others were, and she told me that she had donated some to a few libraries, and the rest, she threw them out. I feel like time stopped when she said that. I asked her why she'd do that, and she said that most of them were old and beat up, so she replaced them with new copies that would last longer. I packed up the books and told her to take it back to her place, and I'd refund her all of the money for the books and the shelf. We argued, I yelled quite a lot. She cried. I'm not proud of it, but that was my collection. Gifts from friends and family members and things that I'd saved up for, it doesn't matter that they're new copies.

I loved my old ones. She comes from a very rich family in my country. Growing up the second something got a scratch or a tear, her parents would replace it immediately. Her car was damaged by some idiot in a parking lot who really shouldn't have had his license, and her parents bought her a new, very expensive car. Her old car was nowhere near the point of no return. Buying a new car was far more expensive than fixing the old one. It never bothered me before because how someone else chooses to spend their money isn't my concern. But now, the replacing a thing as soon as it's got a tiny dent mentality is affecting me. And what's worse is she literally doesn't seem to get why I'm mad. She is so used to just replacing things that she can't understand why I'm angry at the loss of

my books. And I'm not sure whether it makes me angrier or feeling sorry for her. I'm so glad he addressed them being rich because I was like, that would have to be so expensive to do to replace every book on someone's shelf. They're like $20 each. 200 books, 80 comic books. Oh my God. I understand it must have come from a place of wanting to do something really special for O.P. But like to throw them all out or give them away instead of even just thinking, okay, like I'll put them in a box. And then like if there are any that are meaningful, you can get those ones back. Like that's so stupid. What if there were like inscriptions?

Yeah. In like the cover or the page or whatever to be like from mom or grandma or people that like were gone like, I know that's a big thing to do for kids. It's like, my grandma got us so many books and there's all the writing in there. It's just like, come on. Yeah. It's really entitled. It's not, I don't even know how this would ever be seen as a nice gesture because it's like you went in, took someone's property, a lifelong collection, and just threw it away.

You also, you didn't donate all of it. You threw a lot of it away. Yeah. Like just trash. Yeah. And like how much can it be falling apart? Like, I don't, I don't know. I mean, if someone did this, to me, I probably wouldn't mind because I don't think I have any special books like that.

But I'd be like, why didn't need to do that? Like, that was sort of unnecessary. I'm very, very protective of my items. I kind of like, just from like growing up with kind of a scarcity mindset, I now resource guard. I'm like a little dog like, don't touch myself. I don't know. I get really weird with stuff sometimes. And so this would set me off.

Even if I wasn't sentimental about a lot of the books, just for the fact that you felt so willing to disrespect me and come in my space and take my things and throw my things away, it's not nice. I'd just keep your money. Get this shit away from me. Like you just like really just demonstrated a lot. And it's like, well, she had good intentions. I don't know. Road to Hell is paved with good intentions, as they say. I know. It's interesting because it almost feels like if it were something else, it would be a grand gesture of like, oh, what a deeply thought out thing to do. But then it's like not because this isn't what that person wanted and they care about their belongings. And these are things that they've collected and are proud of having been able to collect. I know. So it's sort of like all of these things that you were proud to have been able to do. I can just replace like that.

it's almost like, is it condescending in a way or what is that like just like, I mean, kind of. Like, oh, like it's hard. Like, I could just replace them at the snap of my finger. Like, it, I don't know, just leave such a sour taste in your mouth. Like, am I just your little doll? And, like, my little set wasn't good enough for you? I don't, it's just, yeah, I don't know. It's super weird.

I don't know. Unless they were just, like, really, really, really torn apart. but still it's like still that's up to me. I know. I know. I just don't like that she didn't give him the option of keeping the old ones. I have no words. We do have some comments from O.P.

Someone goes, the only point I can bring to you is that in my experience, truly well-off people can have a hard time understanding the non-dollar value of items when money allows them to replace any item with the slightest wear. They have to be taught this deliberately when they are kids. so see her actions as a flaw in her upbringing and not her intent. Yeah. And Opie goes, I do. I don't believe she did this out of some wicked intent.

I know her better than that. Still, it's my book collection. So it's hard to go, oh, well, you didn't intend to hurt me. So it's all good. Yeah. And if that money is like nothing to her, then she can go back to all the places she donated, try to buy those back if she can.

Maybe like, I don't know. I don't think that this is like a horrible person. I do think this was like, oh, like so many of these books are messed up and like he really cares about his book collection. I could get him like a brand new one of all of these. And then he could have like, like I see like where this wasn't attempting to go. Yeah. It's just the execution was just really. And that's like I think part of the struggle of surprising people with gifts too.

and not having like any type of conversation about it leading up to it is you can miss the mark by so much because you were trying to keep it a surprise. And it's like if they had had one conversation where she asked, oh, like, by the way, if someone got you new versions of these, would you like that? Like, then she would know. I know. Even like, Sal, like on impractical jokers, I was like, do you, like some of the crazy punishments, do you run it by people? And he goes, yeah, well, kind of like pose a hypothetical to someone and be like, Yeah, you know, what do you think if on an episode with Justin, what do you think if I put him in a dunk tank? And like, then I read him stories. And if his take was wrong, we dropped him in the dunk tank. Would love, would love that. Then I'd be like, okay, Michaela said she thinks Justin would love that. So, you know, we'll test the waters a little bit. Yeah. Like, she could have done something like that. I just like, again, it's like, why are you replacing these books? Newer doesn't equal better. But in her head, she just doesn't get it. Because otherwise, I'd be like, okay, it's different if you were going to find. like he's got Moby Dick, but it's a reprint. And then you're going to go like buy a vintage first or second edition Moby Dick.

Yeah. Then it's like, oh, that has better value. But there's like really no purpose here. There's no purpose. Just they're a little shinier. I mean, yeah, he did say they were falling apart some of them. But how bad. That's what I, we do need more context. To not get accepted at a donation center, they do have to be pretty. Pretty bad. Yeah, because all, that's sometimes. where I do my bookshopping is at like the libraries. They'll have the friends of the library bookshop and they'll sell them for like a dollar each or something. And a lot of them are really like scratched up and like, they'd have to be like missing pages and stuff, I think. Yeah. I just learned about book lice the other day. You told me about this. That. Is there like a way that you could be making yourself more susceptible to getting book lice or is there nothing you can really do to

prevent it. I don't know. Apparently you just have to put your books in the freezer when you get new books. Oh, right. It's like new books, yeah. Especially old ones. Yeah. Old new books.

There's someone here that says, I would have had a breakdown. Books are like old photographs. I don't want to get my whole family together today and retake those photos. They are a snapshot of a certain time in my life. I remember when I bought them and how I felt reading them. Some have inscriptions that aren't even for me, but I love them. I can't give you any advice here, except to say, will you ever look at her again and not feel anger?

Oh, wow. And O.P. responds, I have no idea. This was Tuesday night. Which the post is coming from a couple days later. Okay. Wait, so this is like a week old? No. This post is quite vintage. Oh. It's back from 2018. Oh, my gosh. So if I look at a calendar and I go back in time and I say, 2018, April 27th. April 27th was a Friday. Okay, so Tuesday to Friday. Tuesday. So one, two, three-ish days. Okay. Yeah. Gosh. Pretty high off the anger still.

Yeah. Yeah. This one's hard because I, even though I did get all of my books at different times and like they all mean a lot to me in the sense of like, oh, I really love that. book the like the physical version i don't have any like special inscriptions or like specific vintages or like so i probably i wouldn't be like hurt about it happening to me but i'm a different person which is why i'm struggling to like fully see this as like evil or like really like awful to do but i understand that like how opi feels about it because it's like a different situation and different connections to those items yeah i also i went to through something really similar. So my dad let my aunt stay at our house when we were out of town.

And when we came back, she had gotten rid of all of like my grandma's Mickey Mouse collection. And it was stuff that I wanted. It was sentimental. It was airlooms. It was collectibles. And so she literally just got rid of it. She was like, oh, I was doing your favor. I was cleaning. Yeah. No, that's awful. What? Someone let you stay at their house while they were out of town because you needed to be closer to like wherever, like a hospital or something for some reason. And someone lets you stay at their house and you go through all of their stuff and throw away and donate and do it. Yeah. You have no right.

And that's the thing. It doesn't matter if it's a good intention. Like you just don't have the right. And people are just kind of asking more questions. Like, how is it that you lived together for two years and she didn't know how valuable your collection was? She has no respect for your things. That's just horrible. That shouldn't ask.

Like you should donate all of her clothes to Goodwill and then replace them with stuff from Target and tell her, Surprise. I bought you all new clothes. Opie goes, so I recently moved into a new place. Before that, my collection was boxed up and never on display because the old place wasn't very big. So while she had heard about it a bit, it was never something she really got to see. And I guess it never sank in how much those books meant to me. Out of sight, out of mind, I guess. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. So they've been boxed up until now. Yeah. And like Opie has another comment here. She doesn't see why it's a big deal. She genuinely doesn't understand what it's like to have. have a connection with anything she owns. I'm explaining, and she can hear the words, but not understand the meaning behind them. At least, that's what it feels like. Yeah, it's only been a couple of days, so I'm still very angry. I mean, that's a big part of the problem is that

he is telling her that this was hurtful and she's still not getting it. Like, it's one thing to do something that you thought would be nice and then it accidentally actually hurt the person, but then, like, now this person's telling you this really sucks. Like, I really cared about that collection. I don't, I'm sad that you did that. And then, like, they're still not, like, getting it and, like, sincerely apologizing. And, like, I just don't, like, even if you're, if you're telling someone, these are important, I'm really hurt and they're still not getting it. Yeah. I really don't think you're a match. Like, I think you have to look forward to the future. Like, if you guys want kids, how are you raising your kids? Is she ever going to be able to kind of

grass, sentimental, and like that whole thing or like, oh, your kid breaks a toy. You might not get a new toy. Yeah. You might lose that toy because you broke it and you didn't care for your toy. You have to take care of your toys. Well, and kids, they care about their toy specific. Like, oh my gosh, if they broke a leg, they would want to patch up that toy's leg and like, because they have an emotional connection to those items. I'm so sentimental with stuff. And it gets worse because O.P. does have in a comment here. But throwing someone's things away without asking is never a favor. Yeah.

He could have had money stashed between the pages of an original signed copy or grandma's picture stuffed in there. And OPE goes, that brings up another reason I didn't mention in the post. Some of the folks who gifted me books are now dead. Two of my grandparents, a couple uncles, my godmother. Ugh. Some of them had a nice birthday note and Christmas notes written inside. That's so sad.

And everyone's like, can you track them down? Can you go to the library where she donated them? Can she track them down? Like, she should track them down. She should be making this right. And O.P's just like, I don't know. Like they typically like disperse them pretty quick. They were thrown out about three weeks ago. So the ones in the trash for sure gone. But they went to like a literacy program. And they're pretty efficient about sending stuff off and bad about keeping records. So we don't have an update. O.P. did tell her about like the writing and inscriptions in the books. And someone was like, did you tell her about that? If she doesn't understand why you're mad and you did tell her that, that might be a lost cause. Yeah. And Opie goes, yeah, I did tell her. So, no. This is done. That's, yeah, that's over. I would lose my mind if someone that, that's like, that's someone's most prized possession. If there's like any physical writing from someone that they love, who's passed and that's gone now. And you're not sorry and like still don't understand.

There's, there's no coming back from that. There's no coming back. Yeah. I see like something like this would cause me such like trauma. And I, if people are like trauma, it's about books. But like, it's just about having your whole sense of peace and security in your home like completely taken away from you. And it's like, I don't know if I could leave my house and trust my partner to be with my things. Yeah. Like I just, I would have such, my sense of peace would be totally gone. Or to like trust your partner to understand you and like what you really need and what you really want in life. It's like, ooh, like this is just a fundamental difference between us. Well, do we know if they broke up?

No, I just went to OPE's account. It does still exist. This post is now eight years old. Wow. So it is, I'm like, 2018, the math. Oh my God. We're getting up there. there, guys. Yeah, almost 2026? So yeah, I'm not seeing anything else. I basically read most of the comments. This sucks. I would like an update, though. I'd just be curious if, like, any of the books ever got tracked down.

God, it just, this makes me sad. I know. I can't believe she's not like, oh my God, I can't believe I did that. I'm so sorry. I know. That's just crazy. Shitty. Really, really shitty. But okay, moving on to this next one. This is coming from our slash marriage. It's two days old, titled, Husband Got Another Woman Pregnant. I know I am a villain, because I promised my husband three kids,

but after the first, I just didn't have it in me. Traumatic birth and depression did a number on me. My son is three, and we were in a kind of limbo because he was still bringing up a second child as soon as we had my son, but his frequency started to die down. Last time he talked about it,

it was one year ago. We had a fight. He started his affair afterwards. His affair partner is pregnant. He admitted to not using protection with her, but claims that she was on birth control. She is keeping the child. She contacted me and said

she didn't know he was married when they started dating, but she couldn't let him go after she found out six months ago. She said she is very sorry. She wants my husband to be involved and wants me to decide what I want to do with my marriage. If I want to leave my husband, then she would want to have a relationship with him and will only be involved with my son's life as much as I am comfortable with. What?

If she really didn't know that he was married, she wants to continue to have a relationship with it? Like, she found out he was married and like still was like, ah, I want him enough. If I want to stay with my husband, then she will end things with my husband for good. But she doesn't want her child to not have a father, so she understands that her child will stay with me, and she wants me to grant her the same courtesy of only being involved with her child as much as she feels comfortable with. Either I lose my child half the time, or I have to accept my husband's a fair baby in my home. My husband doesn't show it in front of me, but he seems happy. He got his dream of two kids and I am in a nightmare.

Oh my God. That's so messed up. This is hell. This is hell. Sorry, can we go back again? When did he start having the affair? So he started having his affair about a year ago. After they got into an argument about another kid.

So he started his affair. How old was the first baby at the time? Did she mention that? About two at the time. Okay. Baby would have been about two. So they got in this big fight a year ago. He started his affair afterwards. Affair partners pregnant.

She contacted me, said that she didn't know he was married right away when they started dating, but she couldn't let him go after she did find out he was married about six months ago. Now she's pregnant. Wow. I'd be done. But, oh, that's what's so hard about choosing who you want to have a baby with, because it's like what she said, then she is losing her son half the time. Yeah. And that's a big thing.

I've seen a lot lately in discourse with people not wanting to get divorced, even though they have like a bad relationship or just don't love their partner anymore. And they don't want to miss out on 50% of their kid's life. Right. So they'd rather stick it out and be able to get all of those nights all of that time than split up. And I can totally get that. I totally get that too. And that's what's so...

It just sucks. It's what's so awful. It's just, oh my gosh. Especially like if you didn't feel like you liked the way that your ex raised or handled problems, then like that would be really hard. because I know I was actually just talking to someone today who her child's dad came to the picture a little bit later. And even that was like a hard adjustment because she was like, this is the way I do things. So get on my page.

Get on board. And so I just can't imagine like just releasing control for, you know, people, especially people who have a hard time of releasing control in a situation when it comes to a child. Yeah, well, this is also so messy too, right? Because if you say you're done, she doesn't care about him having a wife. She doesn't care about being lied to. She wants him. She's going to stay with him and your kid is going to go spend half the time with her. Or you stay with your husband.

Can you get more custody, though, because of the affair? Like, I feel like she'd be able to fight for more custody with her child, at least. I've heard some weird stories. I don't know if that's what she'd want. Like maybe she wants the child to have 50% dad time. Yeah, and like, you know, in an ideal world, if kids can have both parents and good relationships, like that is kind of ideal for a lot of people. But I was just talking with someone the other day, and they've got a friend who has, like,

a 12-year-old daughter, and the mom is, like, really bad, toxic, drops the little girl off and is like, I don't want a parent this month, and, like, drops her off, and then now is fighting for full custody because she wants the child support. Oh, wow. And it's just this really messy situation. And she was like, they're having a hard time because, like, in their state, they typically side with the mom. So I think it just depends. I just, it's so complicated.

The family court system is just so complicated. Oh, gosh. Yeah, I can't. That's why I'm saying, like, even just with a situation that isn't super messy, it's, it sounds really tough to me. The whole, like, figuring out those dynamics. but one like this, I just don't even know. I don't know how she's going to proceed. Well, and it's also up to the husband too.

Because like this other woman is coming in. Well, yeah, that's what's like, what does the husband even? What does he want? Who does he even want to be with? Like, what does he? Yeah. How does anyone want to be with him is my question. I, yeah, that's something.

That's so interesting. I mean, personally, like, I feel she, she's got to leave him. He's clearly not a good guy. Like, he's not. And so I feel like she should, but I totally understand the desire to stay to have 100% your child in your life. Absolutely. Top comment on this one, leave. He broke his marriage vows and do not blame yourself because you didn't give him three kids.

It had nothing to do with kids. He claimed he thought she was on birth control, so it was all purely. sexual, not about children. And that is like kind of sad about this post, that first line. I know I am the villain because I promised my husband three kids, but after the first, I just didn't have it in me. Like, you're not the villain. That's so crazy that she even thinks that because that's, oh my gosh, I had other people who were just talking about this today, how they feel like a lot of times guys like look at children as like a puppy or like a pet. Oh my God. Why has that been on my, like, radar too? Well, but it's.

It's just so they could never understand what it's like to go through that process. I can't even understand yet. I'm not there. So, but it's like everyone experiences it so differently. And like for some people, it's like it is, it can be really, really hard on people. So to be in a relationship and say, let's try for kids and be on the same page and then continue to try for kids. Like that makes sense. But like if you're in a relationship and have a child and then. it, I just feel like it's crazy to expect that, you know, like to expect someone else to, like, sacrifice so much for you, not knowing what it's going to be like or. And life happens too. Yeah. You could all of a sudden get sick, have cancer, can't have any more. Yeah. Is he going to cheat then? Exactly.

Like, he's still cheated. Yeah. Like, I mean, you could have gone through your marriage without being able to have any kids. Right. Exactly. It's like. That's, you can have these goals and things you want, but life doesn't always work out that way. Exactly. So when it doesn't work out exactly how you want it, does that automatically mean you leave and ditch your partner and cheat and go and like breed other people? Like, what are we doing here?

No, you are saying this way better than I am. I'm having a hard time stringing together words today. No, I'm like, my brain is a little cluster fucked up there today. But no, that's exactly what I'm saying is that I, of course, when you're in a relationship with people and you make plans and think. that you want. Yeah. I get I get that that's a thing, but life happens. And it's not it's not the same thing as if she always only wanted one, but was like being secretive and just lying to him that she wanted three. And then after one, she told him no. Like it's like, no, she wanted three. But then she didn't. Then she changed her mind. And she's allowed to without getting cheated on and being put in the most hellish situation, you absolute dickhead. Oh, I know.

What is wrong? Like, I just, I need there to be like more good men representing men right now. Because I've been hearing so many stories where men are really getting on my last nerve. There's some good ones out there. I've been getting a lot of really, really cute TikToks. And I need, I need some more of those because I've been, the past, like, few days, I feel like I just keep hearing stories of like these assholes.

and I'm like, are the guys okay out there? Am I just being fed all this, like, negative info right now? There's some good ones. I'll send you some of the talk videos I've been liking about, like, people's partners just doing like these really nice gestures, like big, small, romantic things, and just I've seen some really good ones. Okay. Well, I'll help you.

Yeah, thank you. I'm not trying to be mean or anything. I'm just getting frustrated. I mean, there's some shitty ones out there for sure. And it's, might be a group effort of everyone on the planet to like, hey, let's be better guys. Like, let's, you know, let's be better. I think that any of the guys listening to this, I feel are good guys because if they're listening to these stories. I agree.

And then they're hearing us say that this guy is a psychopath. They probably wouldn't want to continue to listen if they thought the guy was in the right. Oh, he's not that bad. Yeah. So we've got good guys here. So to the guys that are listening right now, go out there and advocate for being a great guy because there's some guys who really need to learn from you. Absolutely.

There is another comment here that's interesting. So if you don't get divorced, she wants you to raise her baby. I highly doubt she would really end things with your husband. If she just couldn't let him go six months ago, she's not going to let him go now, despite what she's claiming. I also doubt she would want to pay child. support for her child. I also read that as like you'd be helping raise my child because you and your husband would still be together and she would have custody as well. Right. Exactly. I didn't think it was like,

oh, you're taking my kid 100%. No, I don't think so. Like that, I don't, I don't think this comment makes that much sense because like that's not how I interpreted it. Neither. But if anyone out there listening is like, no, like she fully is like shipping her kid off with them. No, that's not, no. That's super weird. No, that's not the case. It's definitely just like the, the, 50-50. Yeah. I'm going to see if there's any comments from O.P. We do have a few. Can you imagine? If you want to be with him, you can have the child I'm growing right now. But if you don't, then yeah, I'm going to have, I don't think people make decisions like that. You know, that would be wild. A lot of people are commenting on custody. A lot of people are like, why don't you go for 100%? Like, why don't you get full

custody? And O.P. has a few comments in relation to that. Wait, that would be. amazing if she got 100% custody and then he ended up being with that other girl and the other girl didn't want to have another kid and then he was with one child again. So Opie says for all his glaring faults he is a good father and he dotes on our son. He will fight me to death for equal custody. Next comment is in response to someone being like, he won't get custody. Like blah, blah, blah, blah. And I think they kind of mean like if you get divorced and it's because of infidelity, like you could go for I think that's what they're maybe trying to imply. But OP goes, how does he not get custody?

And I don't want to lose custody by committing parental alienation. I don't know that was the thing. I guess. That's what I'm saying about, like, family court systems. It's very complex. I mean, I definitely think that she could get much more custody than him because of what he did in court. Like, I don't think they'd be like 100% custody because of cheating. but I think given the situation, like, she could definitely get more custody than him for sure.

A lot of people are asking about his reactions. Like, what is he up to now? He is remorseful for hurting me, not for his actions themselves. He said he didn't think it would all affect me. Okay, asshole. He should have fined another way, but he was so resentful of me changing my mind that he didn't care. He is not begging to stay with me. He does want to stay, but he knows how difficult that is for me.

So he has left the decision to me. He doesn't want to stay. Someone who wants to stay, I feel like, would be making more of an amends and, like, putting in more willingness to make this situation better or change or, I don't know, like, well, I do want to stay, but it's really tough. So I'm leaving it up to you. That's a cop out because you don't want to end your marriage. Well, that's interesting because I also wonder if that has anything to do with custody. If he's the one who says, I'm out because I'm leaving you for somebody else, if that, maybe he's talking to someone already, like a lawyer about custody rights and what could happen.

Like, maybe that's why he doesn't want to be the one to pull the trigger. Yeah. I don't know. I could be true. I don't know. But the other thing, too, is like, he also probably doesn't want to continue to be in a relationship where he has to, like make amends and he has to deal with the ramifications.

And so I, there's going to be a lot of trust to build back. Exactly. So, yeah, I don't, I think she should definitely leave. There's no reason to say, honestly. No, and last comment I'll read is this. So someone says, I'm sorry this happened to you. In no way are you the villain here? Your husband made the decision astray.

Now he's going to pay the price for his. actions. And O.P. goes, what price? He got everything he wanted. I and my son will pay the price. Someone responds, no, he will pay dearly in the divorce and in child support. O.P. goes, I earn more than him. Next line down is the same person responding to O.P., the one who said, he'll pay dearly in the divorce. They go, I earn twice as much as my ex. I have my child two thirds of the time, and he pays me child support. I have a lawyer. He doesn't. Lawyer up and get ready. You need to learn your rights and don't mope so hard that you just give up. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I know. It's like, I don't know. She's just like, no, he loves our son. He dotes on our son. Like, it doesn't matter. Let him be a good dad without you.

Go find your person. Someone who loves you wants to be with you and isn't going to cheat on you. Yeah. No, I was referring to the fact that she was like, so he'll fight me on it. And it, It's just like let him. I really, I don't see this being able to be a 50-50 case given everything. I don't, I just, I don't know how it works, but I just. I know. Maybe we have some lawyers I can try me. I mean, think about it.

He pulled the rug out from underneath her, like, to such a huge extent that it's like, how would they be in favor of him? I don't know. Infidelity is a big thing in a lot of courts. And it's not just infidelity. It's a whole other life with somebody else, a family. Yeah. It's tough because you also then don't want to create this scenario where he's like, I'm tired of fighting. I've got this other kid. I'm going to start over. And then the little boy that he, you know, the first little kid is like kind of left in the dust and then grows up with this like abandonment issues and this like,

I want to be with my dad. I want my dad to love me. But my dad doesn't want to spend any time with me. Like you just, it is such a slippery, slippery slope. I mean, if the dad actually loves him the way that, The mom says, then like he's going to take whatever time he can get with him. And if he doesn't, then he's an absolute shit fucking dad and a shit person who the son doesn't need to have that asshole in his life anyway. Like he can find other like male figures to look up to that aren't such pieces of shit. I don't know. I just, I get that.

I get like I totally understand all of those thought process and that the concerns and it's just there's so much more involved than just a breakup. but I really think at the end of the day, like, she's got to fight for what's right, and the rest will fall into place. Yeah, absolutely. We don't have any update yet. Only two days old.

Oh. So I will subscribe to Opie's profile and see if we get anything, but nothing yet. Okay. I would say this one is giving real. I always think when people post their issues in random little subs like R-slash marriage,

which is a smaller sub in comparison to like relationship advice or true off my chest and things like that, it does feel real. O.P. did also post this in R-slash-1 and done, which is a subreddit for parents who have decided or had the decision made for them to only have one child.

And so really just seeming like they just needed to get out there and like get some support. Mm-hmm. So it does seem, does seem legit. But okay, keep our eyes peeled, but moving along. Yeah, I want to know updates on that one. I do too. I really, really do.

So actually, make sure to let me know if you do it and you decide to do an update with somebody else and not me. Yeah. I'll keep your post. I'll let you know. Okay. I'll let you know. Okay. And we're back.

We're back. I feel like this is going to be an interesting palette cleanser. It's not necessarily a feel-good, like super happy palette cleanser. Okay. But it's just kind of a different perspective that I don't think we usually get on a lot of our posts about cheating. Okay. So let's get into it. All right.

It's coming from True Off My Chest and it's titled, I'm going to have to break my husband's mistress's heart. and I don't want to do it. My husband is having an affair. I found out eight months ago when a text from Henry said, I love you, heart, heart, heart. I managed to sink his text up to our eye cloud

and have been monitoring them ever since. Even worse, his mistress is also a victim in this. She has no idea that he's married. He told her that he's separated from me and we're going through the divorce process. To his credit, he doesn't badmouth me, as the horrible ex-wife that makes him miserable.

He doesn't talk about me at all. I also think that's because the evil ex-wife is a classic lie from a cheating husband and she's smart enough to see through that. I know that usually the wife hates the mistress or at least resents her, but I can't hate her. I love her so much.

She has no idea that my husband is a loser. And she's such a sweetheart who deserves the entire world. She sends pictures of the holiday cards that she makes for the people in the local nursing homes because the holidays can be such a lonely time for them. She texts him little love poems. When he says that he's stressed, she asks about his day. She's so smart too. Whenever she talks about something that she's interested in,

it's like a YouTube deep dive, only in text instead. My husband loves the deadliest catch. She explained to him why the FV destination sank. It was fascinating. She's also said how happy she was that the tragedy was taken seriously enough to make stricter rules about safety regulations to keep fishermen safe. My loser of a husband doesn't deserve to even breathe in her direction. I know that I need to confront him.

and tell him that I want a divorce. I've been putting it off. He wouldn't be man enough to face her, so it would be up to me to break her heart for him by giving her the bad news. I don't want to be the one who makes her cry. I just hope that she knows that even though she lost a cheating boyfriend, she'll have a friend in me. I don't want her to feel embarrassed or ashamed for something that was done to her and not because of her. That's what I'm I'm dreading the most about the upcoming shitstorm. Wow. Uh-huh. That's so cute. I love her. I'm like, are you, I think you're in love with her. Like, why? Are you, are you by? Like, could this maybe work? Is she by? You know what? It probably was just the fact that like she started realizing

that her husband was not the one for her. She probably started falling out of love with him by the time that she found the affair. So she probably looked at it more like pragmatic and more objective than anything because otherwise like I don't know how somebody gets out of their own way enough to be able to be like I love his mistress. I know. I'm blown away by like this level of composure and like self-awareness and insight. Like I would not be able to hold on to knowing about my husband's affair for eight months. I know that is a long amount of time. It's so, that's kind of crazy. That's kind of crazy actually. Well, that's where I'm like, are you holding on as long as you are because you actually feel like you have a relationship with her too through these messages? Wow. Like,

you say you love her. You talk about how smart she is, how she deserves so much more. Like, you're putting this off because you almost have this parisocial relationship with her. Maybe. And she doesn't even know who you are. When we look at it that way, that feels kind of creepy. I know. This is what I'm like, wait. I thought it was really cute. But then when I thought about the time, that's a long time. Also, you're letting them date. Like now they've been dating a year. Now it's getting like longer and more serious and her feelings are more intense where like, hey, if you would have nipped it in the bud eight months ago. Then you wouldn't have hurt her. Like you would have heard her less. You would have heard her less like you're worried about now. So it's just really interesting. And you'd think, at some point before the eight months, maybe six months, maybe four months, maybe two months. I don't know. Like, why did it take eight months? Eight months. Huh. I know. Isn't that a doozy? What, do we have any updates or anything? Oh, no. Oh, no. No, no, no, no. I've really tired to give me an update on this one. Nope. The post has been deleted by the person who posted it.

Top comment. Make sure you have proof that you two are still married and living together, she may go to denial first. Best of luck, O.P. Next comment. Exactly this. There's still a chance she may forgive him and stay with him. So it is worth being ready for that possibility as well. Next comment down, it isn't her job to prove anything to her. Nothing but I'm Bozo's wife and I just found out he has been seeing you. I'm not mad at you. I know he lied to you and said we weren't together anymore. Well, I'm about to file for divorce now, so if you still want him, he's all yours. But I thought you had a right to know what kind of man he is. I believe you deserve better. It's the other woman's job to decide what to do with that information. There is zero reason to put any effort in approving anything.

O.P. has enough on her plate right now. Yeah. O.P., go see a lawyer and get your ducks in a row before you tip your hand. Yeah. Ooh. One comment goes, she sounds like, like a lovely person. That's sort of a catch-22 problem. People see the world through their own filters. She is a good person at heart and so thinks others are. Even your slimy soon-to-be-X. I originally found this on an Instagram sub-reddit Instagram page. Oh my God. Spooky stars, YT, YouTube. I don't know what it stands for, YT, but that's the Instagram page. And on the comments on there, someone goes, cut the husband out of the equation and marry his mistress. There's another comment.

Finally, a woman who blames the husband and not the other woman. Both women sound lovely and I hope they move on from this. What a badass the O.P is. Amazing. Well, that was my initial thought before you talked about the- Taint. Don't let me. Don't worry about it.

Don't worry about it. You brought up the eight months and now, it's hard to not wonder. But, you know, maybe she was saving money. Maybe she's a stay-at-home mom and needed to pool some resources and, you know, get her eggs in a basket. Maybe, you know, there's medical things

and she needed his health insurance because of work. We don't know. That's true. There's so many reasons. But it was just very impressive to me that she did wait eight months because I would go crazy. And like, are you still romantic, though?

You would have to be. Yeah. Otherwise, he's going to be like, what's up? Or he doesn't notice because he's getting it elsewhere. And then he's just like, oh, well, we had a dead bedroom anyways. Yeah. I know. So interesting.

Very interesting. Okay. Up first. This is coming from True Off My Chest, 28 Days Old Now. I've been sitting on it for a while because it's just so good. Money. It's titled, I'm watching my stepmom become the loser. She always told me I'd become.

And it's amazing. So I was a mistake. My mom and dad were dumb idiots. Mom mostly raised me because my dad tried blocking her. After a while, he was in my life and paid child support. He got married and had two more kids, the right way. And my stepmom Hildy never let it go how much better she was than me. How she and her kids had clothes from nice stores and not Walmart,

and how they just didn't have time to include me in the Christmas card picture. Plus, I wouldn't have had a nice enough outfit, so, oh well. One of their kids, my brother, came out as trans a bit ago, and Hildy seemed very supportive. Apparently not. She's been drinking a lot and gaining weight. She lost her job, and I found out because she called me ranting in the middle of the day and saying that she lost her daughter and, like, I should have transatlum. instead of him, question mark. It was so bizarre, and I told my dad that he needed to deal with it.

He tried telling me that he wanted her to get therapy, but honestly, I don't care. I don't want her to ruin my brother's lives. Apparently, she picked one of them up from school and smelled like wine. She has been so horrible to me my entire life that I've known her, most of it, and I don't care that she's unhappy. I have enjoyed watching her burn out. Yes, I feel bad for my brothers, but this woman treated a literal child like trash because she hated my mom. She came to my bridal shower wearing a white dress that she couldn't even zip up the whole way. When people mentioned it, I just shook my head and ignored it, like she would do when people would point out that my jeans were too short that one time. And in front of everyone, she said that she refused to spend their family's money on clothes for me since my dad paid child support.

Whatever, I don't care. She deserves her life, and my dad deserves his marriage. And I'm clearly not a good person for laughing at all of this. So I guess I retroactively deserve my childhood. The only victims are my brothers. The end? The end. I'm with you.

I don't think you retroactively deserved your childhood, but man, this is satisfying. I'm all for it. I feel bad. I want a front row seat. Where's my ticket? I think it's just so different. When you're awful to a child, it's unforgivable. So I'm with you.

It's not an adult making a decision to be like that towards another adult. No. It's like that towards a child. Kids are defenseless. Kids are trying to learn how to, you know, go about the world and who they're going to become. And it's like you're so fragile. impressionable. So any of that stuff, that sticks with you for a lifetime. I remember some stuff that, I mean, it's more often other kids in a bullying way. I remember everything that's been said to me

growing up. And I remember all the insecurities I had. And sure, you, you know, you outgrow some of them. Some you carry forward for sure. And I just can't imagine getting that from an adult. So yeah, I agree. She deserves every bit of it. And I'd be there. eating my popcorn watching it go down. I don't like I don't have sympathy for that after the shit you did to me no way. I know. But yes, for the brothers. Of course. I go back for the brothers. I don't want them to be in that situation because if she fully crashes out, then that's going to affect them and it's only going to get taken out on them. And yes, we don't want that. But I know because there's no mention even how old the brothers are. Yeah. No mention of age. And it's like,

if they're young, like, that's even harder, like, to have your mom not support you as you are transitioning and doing all of that. I'm trying to look at O.P.'s comments just to see if there's any more insight into this. Yeah. We do have a few comments from O.P. There's a whole other post I discovered that came out a couple months before this one. We're going to get into that now briefly. But someone says to O.P., you're just a different. Dad is a piece of shit for not standing up for you, not including you, not buying you a nice outfit for the pictures, and allowing her bullshit white dress at your wedding. Fuck your dad and fuck her. Yeah.

O.P. says, no, my dad is a pillar of the community. According to what Hildy told my mother-in-law, pillar of the deadbeat community, sure. Yeah. Uh-huh. They're so insane. Like, they really do deserve each other. He is such a piece of shit. anyone that's willing to throw their kid under the bus for the sake of a new partner and a new family and a do-over,

fuck you, rotten hell, you're a piece of shit. I think it's pathetic and all of this has clearly impacted O.P. I mean, the first line starts with, so I was a mistake. My mom and dad were dumb idiots. They might have been dumb. They might have been being irresponsible. You might have been an oops baby, an unplanned baby, but you are not a mistake. Like, I hate when people like, a.

associate themselves with that because like I really relate to that like I was a total oops baby very unplanned but like I remember just like that pain of just like the struggle with my bio dad and so it's hard but like you are still not a mistake I just like I feel bad for OPE but we do have a couple more comments um OPE says the worst part is that she hates my mom so much and my mom isn't perfect by any measure because of the whole child support thing. When I found out that Hildy had apparently asked my mom not to go for a CS increase because they were going to have a baby and things were tight. In retrospect, that was not my mom's problem. She only went for the increase when Hildie kicked me out of my room. She couldn't be a stay-at-home mom because of the child support apparently.

All she had to do was treat me like a family member and it would have been fine. She's been stepping on rakes for decades. I love that saying. She's been stepping on rakes. I've never heard stepping on rakes before. It's like you are creating your own issues. And can't you just envision like the old cartoons of someone they step their foot on a rake and it comes back and smacks them in the face?

I mean, I've done it. I don't have to envision the cartoon. It's happened to me. With those rakes at the farm, those are the kind that do it. It's those sharp twisted metal ones. Yeah, those old timey rakes. I mean, I think someone that makes all these comments and treats someone this way has always been deeply unhappy. And it's now just really coming to the surface.

About like the Hildee, the stepmom? Yeah. Being like unhappy. Yeah. And I think the whole time with the comments she was making to O.P. And all of us the way she treated her growing up. And then even her dad, I just, I just can't see them being happy people. and having a happy life together.

I think it's all just pretend. And it's, oh, we're keeping it all together and we're perfect. We buy the nice clothes and you have shit clothes. When you start comparing yourself and making yourself trying to seem like you're better, I think it's because you're so deeply unsatisfied with your life and you're so unhappy. Because if you are a truly happy content person, you would not even think that way. I mean, I guess there are some assholes out there that probably do. but in this story, I really don't think there's ever been true happiness there.

No. It's been faulted from the beginning. Yeah, I mean, someone responds to that comment, the one that ends with she's been stepping on rakes for decades, and they go, how can she claim to not be trashy, but does an incredibly trashy thing by asking to pay less child support? I feel like that is something someone from a low-class upbringing would think was appropriate. O.P. responds, she came from a pretty trashy family, to be honest. It was just projection. There you go.

Someone goes, you are far better than that woman. It is okay to laugh. Things would not be better from holding back. Anyone treating a child like that because they think they are better than, jealous of past partner or whatever, deserves all bad things. Of course, it sucks for your siblings,

still happy she is struggling, just got to support your brother because that is the mom, awful, awful person. Opie responds, it's bad because I don't feel super responsible for my brothers. Obviously, I'm there for them, but at least they have my dad and he should be the one looking out for them. My mom was kind of a mess, and I didn't have a dad looking out for me.

He was too busy with other stuff. They know they can always call me and I'll be there, but I'm not going to pry. Yeah. And I think that's totally fair, especially like your dad dropped the ball on you. You were kind of not an outlier, but you were like ostracized. You were pushed out. He didn't have your back. So, yeah, your brothers are innocent and all this.

And you can say, like, I'm here for you if you need it. But you don't have to bend over backwards or light yourself on fire to keep them warm. Like, your dad, those are his kids. And he made it clear that he has priorities to those children and not you. So I get where OPs at with this. It's really just a good off my chest, getting this out there, venting, and feeling a little better. Yeah. The other post on O.P.'s account that I can see is a post about their wedding.

It is four months old titled, Am I the Asshole for Not Telling My Dad that He Wouldn't Be Walking Me Down the Isle? And it's a pretty long post. Essentially, 25-ish years ago, two dumb 20-year-olds got drunk and made me. They had and still have nothing in common. Don't particularly like one another, but for some reason decided to keep me. I always lived with my mom full time. I love her, don't get me wrong, but she's pretty messy. I have six other half-siblings.

Two of them have the same dad. We always had a clean place to live and never went hungry or anything, but I know there were times that she did, so we wouldn't. Mom very clearly loves all of us individually and as her family. She's just pretty irresponsible. My dad, I'd say, Moore has his shit together, but we're not close. He married Hildy, also mid-40s, when I was six-ish, and they had my half-brothers Jesse 16 and Kyle 14 a few years later.

They both have really good jobs at a nice house and cars. I know my dad paid child support, but their lives were very different from mine. I'd come over every other weekend, but after a while, they were too busy with the other two, so I would just wait for my dad to text me when he was available. He did. Don't get me wrong, but he works a lot, so I probably saw him once a month before I went to college. And after, we'd talk every now and then, but mainly just see him. each other on the holidays. One of those holidays, Hildee got kind of drunk and told me that after my mom had me, my dad basically blocked her and just paid child support until his parents, grandma and grandpa,

basically shamed him for being a deadbeat. And then he got some visitation. That hurt a lot to hear, but it made a lot of my childhood make sense. It all came up because she was resentful that he had to pay my mom child support until I was 21 and was saying she had wished I'd skipped college. It's also sad because I know she was busy with her kids, but I always thought she at least liked me. Like, I know she hates my mom because it was maybe petty, but when she had Jessie, they replaced my room at their house with the nursery and put my stuff in another one. So my mom filed and was awarded much more child support than she had been getting, and that affected them. It's fine. There's free therapy at college, and I'm actually doing great career and mental health wise now. In fact, my fiance and I make about as much as they do, granted less property.

So I'm in a really good place. O.P. goes on to, like, talk about their fiancé, John 25. They became friends freshman year. Didn't start dating until years ago. His family is amazing. All amazing things. They've been good about setting up boundaries with mom. So they're getting married soon.

It'll be in John's hometown. And this is where drama starts coming up. obviously because Bio Dad. Bio Dad wants to know. Am I walking you down the aisle? I just went through this. His family, and to be honest, won a big wedding, but since we're just starting her careers out, his parents are paying for the whole thing. I'm paying for my dress, though, and my mom and my younger siblings travel. I kind of just assumed my dad would walk me down the aisle. But a few weeks ago, at one of my showers, Hildy was talking with John's mom, who was saying how proud they must have been that I paid my own way through college. Hildee was like, oh yeah, it looked really hard.

We're glad that we started saving towards our son's college funds a long time ago. They have more than enough for undergrad and probably grad school. I overheard this and confirmed with John's mom what she said. It hurt so bad. College was a struggle. There were times all I had were multivitamins and PB&Js, and only because my mom would send me $20 here and there. Don't get me wrong, I'm also proud of myself.

And I know the boys are both their kids, well, I'm just my dad's, so of course they'll give them more. But it really solidified to me who and what I was to them. So I asked my brother Jake to walk me down the aisle. John and his family know about this and 100% support me. Hildy called me yesterday asking about the rehearsal dinner, where they'd need to be and when, and I told her they wouldn't need to be at the church or anything and could just go to the restaurant after. She was like, oh, well, how will your dad practice walking down the aisle? It was super awkward and I let her know Jake would be, but I was excited to see them.

A few hours later, my dad came to our condo and told me how disappointed he was. He said he's been dreaming of giving me away my whole life. I was in a pretty good headspace, luckily, and I was just like, oh, I didn't know you'd want to, and I didn't expect you to care, trying to be nonchalant and avoid drama. He was aggressive, though, and wouldn't let it go, saying I was going to make him look like an idiot, and if Hildy hadn't asked, he would have shown up thinking he'd walk me down the aisle. I asked him why he would assume that, and he looked at me like I was stupid. But I wanted to hear him say it, and he finally said that any father would expect that.

I was just like, sure, but any other father probably didn't ignore their daughter for the first few months of their life, have as minimal custody as possible, or have college funds for some of their kids, but not others. They probably did do things like take their daughters on vacations, attend a single father-daughter event, and help them out, even though they were legally done. He got mad, but honestly, couldn't even argue with me, and just said he wasn't sure if he approved of this marriage anymore. I told him I wasn't worried about that.

And the truth was that we just simply weren't important people to one another. He got really sad after that and left. And even though John agrees with my decision, he said, I should have given my dad the heads. up about what I wanted from him at the wedding. As much as I value his opinion, I also feel like he doesn't get it. His family loves him and would do anything for him and has, while my dad has only ever done the bare legal minimum when I needed him. I never assumed he would help me, and he shouldn't assume he can play a role in my wedding. And no, I'm not the asshole for having my brother walk me

down the aisle. That's no debate. But was I wrong for not directly spelling out for my dad that he would be attending as a guest and only a guest? No, I think you're meeting his communication style your whole life with with the same energy. Yeah. And also I can't believe that horrid woman's going to be there. That's what I would have set in stone long ago. The last thing I'd want to see is her sitting there.

And she'll probably wear white. She did. She did wear white. Oh, that was to the wedding? It was the, I think O.P., what did she say? Was it reception or rehearsal? We do get an update on this, actually. I thought that was like a bridal party or like a, I thought that was some, something else.

But yeah, I'm not surprised. And just with the comment about the college thing, you don't think she's going to be doing all that shit that whole night to all your people? She will. She absolutely will. Like Hildy is a self-centered, I mean, to brag about your two kids and their college funds as like your stepdaughter's mother-in-law is like, aren't you so proud she paid for school on her own? It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great. We have so much fucking money. We are two boys get to go to college and grad school.

That's how much we have saved. And it's like, whoa, read the room. Read the room She can't Because it's all about her She's a self-centered bitch Yeah And then I think the way you played it with your dad

Is perfect I honestly I would have thought you had Like a script or notes written To do it that clear And that plane And on the spot when it's so stressful Especially when he's kind of

Pushing it And getting really You know aggressive as she says I know I think you did great I know And then it ended up getting through because when you make such a strong case and it's not like you were yelling

Lisa didn't take it that way and you just said exactly why here's why and there's no response great job great job and then the statement we're just not important to each other I know it's like that's tough that's but it's hopefully a wake-up call for him but you know why it's tough because he knows it's true. Oh, absolutely. 100% the whole time. I think I still really feel bad for OPE. Like, from the first post to this post, it's just like the pain she's gone through. And like, honestly, I feel like this is like another multiverse version of me in my life. Like, my bio dad, they were fit about child support. Like, my mom didn't get it a lot of times. I kept getting it throughout college because he was so late on the payments from when I was under 18. And like,

it was so crazy. Like he would brag about like not having any money. And it was all like a front. Like he would get paid in cash. He'd a shit ton of money. He'd buy new trucks. He'd buy new this. Buy new that. And then wouldn't be able to pay my mom child support. Like I'd brag about it to my face. And it's like, okay. But I'm envious of OFP. Like I think this was handled really, really well. should you have told him before? Yeah, but like Hildy kind of took that away from you based on like Hildi getting involved and asking. Well, and Hildy definitely was like,

you need to go over there right now and you need to get this set. Like, she's puppeteering the whole thing. I know, but I'm glad for O.P., that it came out before because it did not come out before at our wedding. Like, I wanted to talk about it with my Biodad at the rehearsal dinner. He didn't show up to the rehearsal dinner. so I didn't get that opportunity.

And he RSVPed yes to the rehearsal dinner. And then when I talked to him about it at the wedding, he was like, oh, I didn't know, I didn't know about it. And I'm like, you RSVPed yes. And then my brother Matt, who's our efficient, like my bio-dad's standing there. Everyone's like standing there. And Matt is like, who's walking down the aisle?

And I look at my brother and I'm just like. So I had both my biodad and my dad, Jerry, walked me down the aisle. And then they got halfway. And then my mom, we did a trade-off. Everyone thought it was beautiful. Like, I had some friends that came up to my mom after and were like, I was crying. It was so impactful.

But, like, it's not what I wanted. And it, that is an honor. And, like, if you don't deserve that honor, you shouldn't get that honor. So I'm glad O.P. Stuck to their guns. Didn't have him walk her down the aisle. And it still still stayed that way. Looking at the update, everything went okay at the wedding.

Dad ended up writing an email. O.P.'s like, I'm not going to post it because it's super lame and it was just some old song of poor him. His life is so hard. He wasn't ready to be a dad. He did the best he could. He always loved me. Blah, blah, blah. No action items. No, probably false promises to change. Nothing new. No, he didn't offer any money for the wedding, but reiterated a lot that he's always dreamed of walking me down the aisle. Yet you're not pitching in. But you have so much. much money in these college funds. But yeah, second update did not come after the wedding. So we went from wedding post, update, which like wasn't really an update, just dad sends an email, but still

sticking with brother. And then the stepmom becoming a loser post. So no other post yet. There are a lot of comments from O.P. Like if you guys want to do a big deep dive on this account, you totally can. I mean, It's really interesting. It sounds like she's in a really good spot. Some of the comments are rude, but very active on Reddit. I mean, replying to a lot of other people's posts and accounts and things like that. Okay. Yeah.

But moving on to this next one. It's kind of a doozy of a first story. A lot of reading for me. So this first one is coming from our very own Too Hot Takes subreddit. It's 10 days old now, and it's titled, My fiancé told me his ex was his emotional maid of honor. My fiance, 31 male and I, 29 female, are getting married next summer. I recently found out he's been keeping in touch with his ex, not cheating as far as I know,

but texting her, quote, for emotional support. When I said that made me uncomfortable, he said, quote, you have your girls to vent to. She's mine. Then he actually said, she's kind of like my emotional maid of honor. I asked him if he'd be okay with me talking to my ex the same way. He said, quote, that's different. Men don't give emotional support like that.

I told him if he needs a therapist, he can pay for one, not text his ex about our wedding stress. He said I was insecure. So now I'm the crazy jealous bride because I don't want his ex-girlfriend being his emotional made of honor. Should I be worried that I'm marrying a man who thinks boundaries are optional? I'm just not understanding the emotional support. Is it like, yeah, you're making the right choice.

You should marry her. You're doing great. You shouldn't have cold feet. What's the emotional support for? Yep. Because this is wedding related. We're not talking just general life. Or is it everything?

Is it him venting? to everything. There's a reason you even go down that path in the first place. There's a reason you open that door of communication. And I think when you start to vent about the person you're about to marry to your ex,

that's very telling. And that can very quickly get twisted into you can be manipulated very easily in that way or you can, you know, maybe manipulation's too strong. But from the X's perspective, if there was something there or could be still, that could easily be molded out of this situation. Yeah. And you could easily convince him that maybe this isn't the right step.

Maybe we should give it one more shot. I mean, it opens the door to so much mess. It does. I just don't get what. the thought is in his mind, is it to keep the door open to have a backup option? Because I think we had that in the first round of wedding stories. Yeah. Oh my gosh.

Or what is the strategy here? And it's not, there isn't a comparison with the bridesmaids. No. And I think men can be very good emotional supporters. You just got to find the right ones. Like if you have the right friends, they will fulfill that role for you. Unless it's like every one of your friends is too, oh, we're too manly for that. We can't do that. I know. I think guys need to start opening up more. I mean, we talk about this male loneliness

epidemic, but it's a problem that is literally created by men, not opening up. So if you want to work on addressing that problem, take steps to do so. Like, you can be your biggest advocate in progressing forward and finding emotional connection and doing that. Like there are people out there that want to do that and to be like, you talking to your ex is so different. Men don't provide that. That's a cop out. What about me? Why aren't you talking to me? Why aren't you talking to me about your wedding stress? Right. Your emotional made of honor. Like what about me, your partner, someone you are supposed to be going through life with? Why do you need to reach out to your ex? Why is your ex a better emotional support for you than me. And that's where it's just like, I think he wants to have his cake and eat it too. I do think he's kind of slimy. I do think something else is going on here. And I don't think it's worth hanging on to. Like, especially when you're telling him, hey, this makes me uncomfortable. And he's like, you're insecure. He's flipping it around on you. You're not being respected. You're not being heard. Your feelings aren't being validated or received. He's actually doing the opposite. And it's. And it's, and it's,

If he wants to keep talking to his ex, let him. But don't waste your money on a wedding because it likely will end up in divorce. Yeah, well, and I think it's not to say there aren't topics that you do talk about with your friends and that maybe you wouldn't necessarily bring to a partner like you were bringing up venting. Mm-hmm.

I think a lot of people tend to try and talk about situations that involve their partner with other people around them to, you know, I think through a lot of these stories to see if they're crazy, to see if this is right, or, you know, there's a variety of things. But even still, if there's something you will bring up to friends, that's a lot different than an X for the reasons I mentioned before, of course, of what that opens up. But I do think if you have the right friends, male or female, they can be equally emotionally supportive. if they are actually a good friend. We, like in my life, I've been the supporter for a lot of people who go through breakups

or whatever may happen, especially in even in the studio and music. People will come in and they open up and sometimes there's, you know, tears and lots of emotions. And you do kind of play that role for that day as a emotional support. And obviously you hope to do that through song as well. But it's just interesting. Yeah. Because I think it very much is out there on the male and female side. I agree.

And I don't think it's necessarily weird to, like, have a female friend or a girlfriend or a woman. That's your friend if you're a guy. Like, I don't think that's necessarily odd. I've got a lot of guy friends, but I didn't date any of my guy friends. They weren't my ex. Like, we started our relationship as friends. there were lines that were never crossed. And I don't know, it just feels odd to me.

And the comments thought it was odd too. The top comment on this one says, Emotional Made of Honor is just backup girlfriend with extra steps. Next comment. Exactly. He basically rebranded emotional cheating into a wedding role. Dude's delusional if he think that's chill. Someone goes, yeah, emotional made of honor is wild.

That's not poetic that's concerning. Man's trying to make cheating sound romantic. Yeah, I think that much involvement, wedding or not with an ex, is very interesting. I mean, we see different sides of that. Jerry always is so, you know, loud about the fact that you can be friends with exes and it doesn't mean anything. There's nothing emotional and, oh, we're all still very close. And my ex, you know, I married my ex to a new partner and like all this stuff. stuff, that kind of thing. Is that the way it was? Yeah. Yeah. So you got to read between the lines.

It's all contextual. I know. In this sense, you have someone that's building up towards a wedding, but it feels like they're still not emotionally checked out of the last one. And I'd be very curious to see what those conversations are. Absolutely. I mean, I'm really, really curious. We don't have any comments from OP highlighting what the comments between the two of them are. So we don't have that insight. But I guess like some people can be friends with their exes. My dad's one example. But then he's also got exes that are heartbroken and hate his guts. Like I think it just depends on where those people are. And again, like can both of them be appropriate? Like this to me, I think the more I saw emotional cheating in the comments, it does feel like emotional cheating. He's running. He's running.

to this other person for this emotional support. And it's like, why are you running to someone else when you have a person you're marrying? Right. Yeah. So then it's just like, no, this does feel like emotional cheating and that's probably a good word for it. But moving on to this next one. Now let's get into these ones.

Fuck-ass people in this world. There's a lot of whack-ass people. We're going to get in a couple of them. This is coming from R-slash-wedding shaming. Okay. titled, Step Mother-in-Law announced my brother-in-law's secret wedding during my cocktail hour. Okay. My now husband and I had an intimate, 14-person wedding last year, just immediate family and a few close friends.

It was sweet, relaxed, and exactly what we wanted. During cocktail hour, my stepmother-in-law decided it was the perfect moment to share some big news. She told me and my mother-in-law that my brother-in-law and his long-term fiancé had secretly gotten married a few weeks earlier and didn't want anyone to know. Both of our jaws hit the floor. Then my father-in-law, her husband chimed in, saying brother-in-law and fiance, quote, wanted to get married before us. Who announces the secret wedding of two guests at another wedding? I wasn't jealous. Honestly, I was happy for them to finally tie the knot. The part that got me was that my stepmother-in-law completely stole the opportunity for my mother-in-law to hear that news

from her own son. But here's the kicker. Brother-in-law and sister-in-law weren't actually married. They started wearing matching rings as a sign of commitment, and stepmother-in-law and father-in-law assumed that meant that they had secretly married. Wait, wait. So they, it wasn't even her own wedding that she was announcing. It was someone else's wedding that she was blowing the, wait, I also, okay. And they weren't even married.

Also, I think this happened on Vanderpump Rules. Did you have watched Vanderpump Rules? No. Okay, if anyone has seen that show, please, like, backing up in the comments. Because they're one of, I don't remember who. I think it was, I don't know. Jacks. Maybe.

Kristen. No, there were a couple. There was a girl who got married, Lala, I think. Lala got married and it was like her reception. And then Shina, like, at the cocktail hour, a reception, like, announced that she had gotten married to, like, the cast. And she was like, well, everyone's here. Well, everyone's here. And if I'm getting these people wrong, I'm so sorry for, like, lying on your name.

But something like that exact thing happened on Vanderpump Rules, which is so crazy. But that's the thing. That's like a, that's reality TV. That's drama. Yeah. People don't need drama at their intimate. It's a 14-person wedding. Which is like such a extra show of we just really wanted this to be about us and the people we love and like really focus in on this and not have like any extra noise.

It's like here comes the extra noise from your own stepmother-in-law. Wait, that's so crazy. So they assumed. Yeah. Because they were wearing matching rings. Which is so funny because it's like that would have been so obvious. they really thought they were doing such detective work by being like, huh, they're wearing matching rings. No one else has noticed this. I bet they've got married.

A lot of people are like starting to get rings for both people right away after engagement. Like I think it's kind of a trend right now where like typically like cis hat relationships where like the girl gets her engagement ring and then the boy doesn't get a ring until they get married. And so the girl has been like, that's not fair. He should get a ring too. And then they go out and now he has a little. little engagement ring. I like that actually because it's like, why is only the woman going around looking claimed when the man gets to still be like, ooh, nothing on my fingers? Look at me. No, I completely agree. Yeah, this is crazy. I mean, this must have been embarrassing. This must have been very embarrassing for the stepmother and father. Yeah, I guess. Because, oh, yeah, because he chimed in and said that

they wanted to get married before us. So you just implied that there was some weird jealousy, But they didn't even get married. And did they ever even say that? Or are you assuming? It sounds like they're not even excited about it, but we're like trying to expose them in a way. I wonder, I really, like I would love to know their intentions. They honestly, the two of them, stepmother-in-law and dad,

sound like deeply insecure. Very messy. Very messy, especially because stepmom almost, it's almost like she wanted to one up his mom and be like, I know something about your son that you don't know. True. I'm going to break it to you. Because otherwise, why tell these people?

Why tell the bride on her wedding day? Why tell his mom? You wanted to like assert like some dominance over them or something. Yeah, I know something you don't know. Like we're the closer in-laws. But then, yeah, then it's extra weird to be like also assuming the reason they got secretly married is because they were trying to do it before all of you. Where did you pull that from?

Yeah. They're making so many assumptions. I know. The leafs they're taking. I would go nuclear. Because now everybody's mad at you. Now the people getting married are mad at you. Now the people who didn't get married or mad at you.

Now all the other in-laws are mad because they would have wanted to hear that from their own children. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah, it's just pissed off the whole 14 people. Well, and it's like, how do you continue on from there? Like as the bride, do you go up to your brother-in-law and like congratulate them? Do you like, do you then make your day about them or do you ignore it? And then hope no one else hears.

But like mother, your mother-in-law is going to be upset because her other son got married and didn't tell her. So she's going to say something. Like, yeah, and now the day's, yeah, like if this had been true. Yeah. It's like the day is ruined for her. And now it's kind of ruined either way. But if this had been true, that. probably would have been worse. I know. It's weird. Top comment. Announcing that at your wedding

would normally be the height of rudeness, but an inaccurate announcement of them getting married. Question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark, wild. Yeah, because it's like you're not even spilling the tea. You're just like causing drama for no actual reason. The fact that mother-in-law also said like they got married, but they don't want anyone to know. then why are you telling me? Why are you telling me? Who did they tell? Did they tell everyone?

Did they make an announcement or was it? No one. They didn't tell anyone anything because it wasn't real. No, who the stepmother-in-law tell? I don't know. As far as I can see from the comments, only the bride and mother-in-law. That's so annoying because it's like a wedding, obviously, is such a special day. And if there's just like one thing that happens, it forever, like, taints a part of that day.

It's like you don't just think of your wedding now. You think of like my wedding and when that thing happened, that kind of sucked. You know, like it can be such a perfect day and there's no reason to add something like that to it. This is crazy. We do have some comments from O.P. And I don't got some of them, I can already tell we're going to be cringing. So someone goes, I love that it was just an assumption. So now, other than looking horrible for making that type of announcement at someone else's wedding,

she doubled down with a complete falsehood. Hopefully stepmother-in-law is a low-contact person or you eat a lot of popcorn when she's around. And O.P. responds, she's very low contact. At best, it's a couple of hours on Christmas Day. At worst, a couple of hours on Christmas Day and an awkward lunch out of the week before. That actually, I feel like adds context of like,

oh, they're actually really not a part of these people's lives and that's maybe why she's trying so hard to, like, seem like she has this information that she doesn't because it would falsify a closeness. Uh-huh. Yeah. Oh, that's such a good point. That's such a thing, too, with people who, like, don't have secure attachments. They'll, like, try to make it seem like they're closer than they actually are.

Yeah. Mm. Okay. We have this comment from someone. So someone comments on the post and says, wait, do we have the same mother-in-law? Mine used our wedding photos to announce her other son and daughter-in-law's pregnancy. After she had already announced it at a private, intimate dinner,

with less than 10 people for my husband's birthday. And O.P. responded and goes, my mother-in-law posted our wedding photos to announce it on socials and spelled my name wrong. Oh, are you kidding me? Her in-laws suck. Yeah. It's like, okay, you really actually hardly know these people. And it's crazy that they should feel lucky to even gotten the invite to the 14-person intimate wedding.

Like, this was your one chance to just be normal and act well. And you could have been a part of this beautiful moment and maybe invited to the future things. But you sort of just solidified that you're not going to be in the future. Yeah, there's comments from O.P. being like, mother-in-law was already kind of low contact. Like, apparently, when this is a quote, there's been a rule since before I was in the picture that you don't tell mother-in-law anything she doesn't need to know. She's notorious for manipulating and weaponizing it. That rule now applies to step mother-in-law too. Luckily, we only talk to her once here at Christmas.

Wait, so both of their in-laws from completely different sides of the first. family are like this? So I think it's O.P. is writing in. It's her mother-in-law. So husband's bio-mom and then husband's step-mom. Okay. Step-mother-in-law. So his dad has a type. Crazy. That's something like that. I mean, both of them are just a little unhinged. But this comment is kind of interesting. And someone was like, how did your brother-in-law and sister-in-law react? Yeah. And O.P. goes, they reacted somewhere between. mortified and shocked. They're private people who didn't want the attention at all. Nor do I think they wanted to make a scene. That's probably why it took so long to find out

they weren't actually married. They didn't set the record straight until a few weeks later at a family gathering. That's crazy, actually. I asked when is their official anniversary so I can put it on the calendar. Only then to be told stepmother-in-law was full of shit. Wait, that's weird. That's not okay. Why wouldn't they just be like, But I'm just confused that they wouldn't just be like, oh, that's not true. Why? It feels like they were just so in shock. They were like silent the whole time, I guess.

I don't know. It feels weird that they wouldn't correct it in the moment and just be like, even to the bride. Yeah. Even to the bride and groom. Yeah. Like, are you, like that's so shy if they're not. I don't know. That doesn't feel like O.P doesn't seem like they're interpreting any negative, like intentions.

from that. Yeah, but just wouldn't you just so quickly correct that and be like, oh, no, like, I would. This day isn't about us. We actually didn't even get married. These are just rings that we liked. That. Easy shutting it down. That's how easy it is. Yeah. Right there. Because now this is like, it kind of lets it balloon into a bigger thing. Because it looks real. Yeah. Oh, they did get married. Yeah. Stemmother-in-law was telling the truth. And then like all of the, like, parents were upset about it and of like not being told. And it's very confusing. I do not. I'm so confused by this family. This family's weird.

I actually, and now, I'm even more confused that they would do an intimate 14-person wedding because it's like I would want some normal people around the town. Literally. Give me some other people that aren't my family members because they do not know how to act normal. We're my friends. I need my friends. I need some sanity here. Seriously.

Yeah, 14 people is literally just like immediate family. Yeah. Unless with like siblings and stuff. really, unless you're like really, really small family. But I'm like our Bachelorette trip had more than 14 people. Like we had 18 and we had people missing still. Yeah. And then God for it. Damn. That's so crazy. Wow. Well, good luck, O.P. We don't have an official update or anything, but yeah, that's wild. Not finding out until three weeks later that that was actually not even true to begin with. It's like you're almost to the point where you're done talking about this with your partner.

And then you get now that news and it's like sort of starts up the conversation again of like, and it wasn't even true. It's so weird. I'm actually, I don't know what I'm more mad about. I actually think I'm more mad at them not correcting it in the moment. Yeah. Because what you said was perfect. It was so like it was two, three sentences, short, sweet to the point.

Let's have a good time. Yeah. Like what? I know. And like, this is your family. It's like, I don't know. I'm like, I'm really perplexed. Like, really, really perplexed.

Is there anyone out there who would also, like, let us know if you out there would be like, yeah, I also wouldn't say anything. Because it just doesn't feel like that helped at all. Because it felt like this being a revelation is what caused the drama of it. Yeah, I think so. I'm, like, sitting here just, like, stewing. I'm, like, very, very confused. Okay, this next one is coming from our slash relationship advice.

It is titled, My 30 female, husband, 33 male, accused me of murder out of the blue. How do I salvage this? Well, that is a big jump from the last story. This is long and ridiculous. Sorry. My 30 female, husband, Luke, 33 male,

had a sister, Laura, 29 female. We were all close and saw each other two to three times a month along with their parents. Almost six months ago, Laura fell down the stairs at their family home and died. It was a freak accident. There's a window on the half landing and she hit her head on the sill. I was the last person to see her. I was there for less than 10 minutes and she was in her pajamas making coffee. I didn't even stay for a drink and I struggle with how such a brief and meaningless interaction could have been her last. She deserved so much more. My husband and I have only been married for a year, but we've been together for four, and I've known each other for 20 plus. When Laura's parents

found her, they called my husband straight away and we rushed over. We faced the whole thing as a family. And the days after, Luke started quizzing me, exactly what we had talked about, what she was wearing, where we were standing, etc. It progressed to saying I was providing conflicting information. On tiny details, he was deliberately misunderstanding and accusing me of withholding information because I couldn't tell him things like what pajamas she was wearing. This escalated quickly, but lasted for less than a week. As I lost my cool and made it clear that I was done answering questions, he didn't bring it up again, and I wrote it off as grief. His behavior was generally that of a normal grieving person.

Last Friday, he outright accused me of murdering her in front of his parents. Out of the blue. We were all stunned. There was an inquest which recently concluded and there was never any doubt the verdict would be accidental death. He said it was completely obvious and he couldn't believe that no one else could see it. He claims I went through his phone and found his messages with Laura. I have absolutely no idea what messages he's talking about. I've never looked at his phone.

And that I went over to confront her and things, quote, got out of hand and I pushed her downstairs. By the end, he was shouting about going to the police and getting the inquest overturned and how I wasn't going to get away with it. Let me be clear. Laura and I had a great relationship. We all did. I have no idea where this has come from, other than these messages I haven't seen. And even then, I don't think there's anything I could ever see on someone's phone that would drive me to murder. It's just ridiculous.

Well, he thinks it's an accidental murder. Like, he to the moment? Yeah, like, he thinks that things got out of control, like, they were fighting and, like, they pushed on accident. Like, not like she meant to murder. I think that's what he's getting at. Like, I wonder what he said about her Because clearly he said some crazy stuff That would make him allude to that

I want to know what's in those messages Yeah He's been with his parents Since this happened And will not talk to me at all And I've had some contact with his mom But she's not being very communicative The last I heard

She didn't know what messages he was referring to either I'm still completely stunned And I have no idea how to proceed I made a commitment to be there for him always and I understand that grief can manifest in strange ways, but a part of me feels like my love for him died the second he called me a murderer, and I don't know how we could possibly work through this.

I also really don't want to be thought of in this way, and I have no idea if he has said anything to people we know. I obviously haven't. A brain tumor or psychotic break has crossed my mind, and I suggested it to his mother, and she just said that she'll talk to him. other than the questions before he hasn't been acting odd obviously he's been grieving but he seemed sane and sensible other than this i feel like i'm going mad does anyone have any advice at all

yeah this is a little bit of a unique one i feel like he said something so awful to laura that that that's what made sense to him especially since it was like a brief interaction like she was like, oh, I just stopped by for coffee or whatever she said. I feel like he said some nasty things in the messages. Maybe Laura did too. I don't, or unless there's something else like a psychotic break going on. But if he's within his right mind as right as you can be while you're going through grief, then I think that he feels like he said something really, I don't know. There's something there. Yeah. There is something there or you don't jump to that conclusion. Yeah. And I'm like, what could it have been?

Well, and that's why it's in his mind he's jumping there because he's fabricating it from that worry of, oh, she saw this. And then that's the next logical thing, which those thoughts aren't paired well with what he's going through. I mean, you have these things definitely building upon one another into a vicious cycle. it's actually just kind of a nightmare from OPE's perspective because being accused of a serious crime that you, you know, obviously as far as we're reading here, you know, given the context of everything, we're assuming obviously that you didn't.

In that sense, it's an absolute nightmare. And I almost go into self-protect mode where I'm like, oh hell no I had nothing to do with this I'm getting all my ducks in a row I'm figuring out if like I don't know not if there's cameras but I'm getting

I'm getting all of my legal stuff together because it's so scared if he's getting to a point of where he wants to go to the police he's threatening this it sounds like UK inquest or something it could turn so serious so quickly he's going to go report it I know but

imagine end up then like we are so deep into the true crime space right now. Oh my God. How many people are wrongly questioned and pressured to ultimately. Yeah. Like they get brainwashed into admitting to crimes. They had nothing like it goes down such a dark spiral. Okay, you guys, so I actually had a case.

It's known as the staircase. Essentially this woman died and. apparently it looked initially like she had fallen down the stairs and died by falling down the stairs. And then they start looking at like the husband and like all of the evidence for the case kind of like was suspicious and like she had been bleeding for hours and like it was like it was like this whole thing. I'm going to link the episode if you guys want to watch it. But essentially the husband gets convicted of her murder. And I think a big part of it was because he was also looking at. really suspicious because a friend of his had died years prior by also falling down the stairs.

And so people were like to have one but two people die by falling down the stairs and he had adopted her daughters. He had been seen leaving her house late that night running away from her house. And so people were like, there's no way he didn't murder his wife. Like this is weird. His defense team ends up finding evidence though. And they find out. Owl feathers in the wounds on her head and pine needles. And so people conclude that as she was walking into the house from where they were drinking wine outside, that an owl had attacked her. And he sat outside for hours after looking at the stars drinking the rest of the wine. And so he didn't discover her, so she bled out.

And so which do you believe? Where does the evidence point? But he was convicted. There's a documentary about it now, I think literally called The Staircase. And it's the craziest case. Well, I don't want to give the spoilers, but I'll link the episode for those that want to know. Makes you want to wear just a body cam at 24-7. Literally.

Honestly. No, I've actually. A constant alibi. You guys keep on saying things like that I've been thinking of like literally either like today or like the day before. But like they're not like they don't fully make sense of connected. Yeah, but like I was literally just thinking that today. like everyone records everything and everyone it's like almost to the point where if somebody says something these days and they don't have evidence then I don't believe it because everyone has evidence or like it's not that I think they're a liar I'm just kind of like yeah like sure yeah and like we've turned ourselves into like this surveillance like state with how much we record and it's like who can record quicker how can you make the camera footage look and then you hear the other side and you're like holy shit that's crazy I think about that too and like that's where I think where police officers like if I was an officer I was an officer I I'd want to wear my body cam on at all times.

Right. I don't want someone to be like, oh, this shitty cop. Like, I can't really want to wear my body cam. Sorry, I just, I totally, I just can't believe they act the way that they do sometimes with the body cam. I don't know. It's crazy. That's why we need more good cops. We need more good cops in the world.

Some of them are goofy. Yeah. Some people in life are goofy. And it's not, it's not any job specifically maybe. But like, I'm just like, oh my God, people just fucking get it together. Like, where are we at in the world? Why are we still doing what we're doing all over the world? Like, why do we have a fucking, like, genocide going on?

I'm like, why? Why? Yeah. Why? We were talking about this with, like, all hounder, too. There's not, like, there's not, like, one profession or one religion or one, like, country that is good or bad. Like, it is really, it's like, people are people. And there's good people and then there's bad people.

Or if you want to say people who do bad things, whatever. But, like. You're not getting fancy with that language. But I just, I think that we all just get so like hung up on looking and thinking sides and thinking all these people are bad and pointing fingers. And that's why like creating in groups and out groups are so powerful for control. For sure. And that's why you see that in the history of a lot of people who have been dictators or want to be dictators. Where am I going with this? Let's move on. Yeah. Okay. So top comment on this one. Fuck no. You don't salvage this. You get a lawyer and get the. fuck out. Best case scenario, he has just admitted to sending messages with his sister that he thinks would make you angry enough to kill her over them. I have some ideas about what those might be, and they're all bad. How did the parents react when he did this? Someone responds back to that. And it is his guilt slash fear of discovery of whatever is in those messages that is causing him to make

these accusations using anger as a defense mechanism. Someone responds back to the first comment, like about the messages. Yeah. What do you think the messages entailed? Someone responds, incest, question mark, question mark, question mark. Oh, my God. I don't know. I can't think of a single other thing it could be. The two of them insulting her wouldn't be enough. Honestly, them being incestuous kind of explains everything. Yeah. Or, That would actually make so... Yeah, no, mine didn't jump there. I'm surprised we didn't.

Because we've had a lot of incest stories in the past. And like I didn't even consider that either. I thought it would be like him, like, them just talking shit and Laura being like, you should divorce her. I hate her actually. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. See, I kind of gaslit myself out of that, I guess. Because I was like, for a second, I was like, they're sleeping together.

And I was like, no, get that thought out of there. That's not it. But is he this afraid that the, messages come out in some investigation about her death is because otherwise why mention it in the first place why even put that out there because if he is trying to convict her of murder to hide whatever's in those messages why even make that such a focal point because the second we all heard that yeah we're like oh my god the messages that's the key to everything and the messages would come out in court her defense team would subpoena those messages they would come out in court

Yes. So it's like, yeah, that's a really good point because it's like if you don't want those messages to come out, but you think your wife killed your sister over the messages and you're going to go accuse her and have the inquiry overturned, you just made a surefire way to get the messages out there. You don't actually think she killed her. But let's say that he is just in love with his sister. So he's not thinking smart about this. He's thinking emotionally passionate, passionately. Passionately. Yeah.

if he was in love with his sister, then knee-jerk reaction, like he's just going to be full of anger and hate that she's now gone. And he thinks that his wife took her from him. Yeah. Okay, I'm just like, I'm sitting here. I'm just like, holy shit, I'm reeling.

We do have a couple of comments I see from O.P. in this thread. OPE has since deleted their account. Postal stands, but like, there is an edit here that I wasn't going to read. But, like, it's not really context, but it is. It has come to my attention that I accidentally used Laura's real name once in this post.

Can I kindly ask that anyone who commented who is blank real name delete their comment as I really don't want this to bleed into my real life for obvious reasons? But O.P. responds to the top comment. That kind of asked like how did his parents respond? When he first laid out the accusation at his parents' house, both his mother and I just kept asking him about the messages. And all he would say was that I know exactly what messages he was talking about. Oh my God.

She was as stunned as me, and his father just said he didn't understand what he was talking about. He's a man a few words, but there was plenty of head shaking. The whole thing was surreal. No one knew how to react. I honestly don't know what kind of lawyer I would even speak to about this. From what I'm aware, the coroner's decision can't be appealed, and the police can't launch an investigation into an accidental death. I don't think I'm quite ready for divorce.

We haven't spoken since his accusation, and I walked out about five minutes after he threw it out. And I have no idea what his frame of mind is. And someone goes, you want to live with a person that thinks you're a murderer? There's not really coming back from that, especially when he thinks he has this evidence. This isn't some kind of accident or grief. Even if tomorrow he says, quote, sorry, you're not a murderer. There's no going back. The trust is gone. You need to worry about yourself, speak to a divorce lawyer. You don't need to sign yet, but you should start planning an exit strategy. O.P. responds,

unfortunately, I think that's where I am. For the past week, I've been telling myself I'm going to get a call saying he's been detained for mental health reasons, but nothing is happening and my patients is wearing thin with the silence. There would have to be an extremely good reason for me to stay after this,

to the point that I'm even quietly hoping for a brain tumor over a mental break because that comes with solid proof that these aren't his own thoughts and feelings. I am clutching at straws. I have a really hot take. Let's go. And this is probably because I just finished a murder mystery series that I talked about on

Father Knows and blamed Morgan for all of my stuff becoming more murder mystery because of starting clues. Wouldn't it be crazy if over? if OP did find the messages, they were having an affair, and OP did kill the sister, but she wrote this Reddit post and accidentally mentioned the sister's real name in the post. Ooh. And then said, I don't want this to get back to me for obvious reasons as a cover-up. And she actually did.

Okay. So do you want to know what OP's username is because someone does respond to one more comment? I'm going to read from O.P., okay? but someone does respond. And the username before OP deleted their account, it was username slash throwaway, not a killer. If I was going to pick a throwaway name for a post like this, it wouldn't be that.

I mean, was like... Like maybe butterflies and ladybugs, like just something's so irrelevant, but like to be like throwaway, not a killer, like, girl, that's just, it feels aggressive when you're trying to prove your... Not that she has her innocence to prove, but I'm like, God damn. I'm like, okay, okay. Is the sister's bedroom downstairs? Did she physically have to go downstairs to, like, go to bed at this time?

I was envision it. Is there a reason to go downstairs? I guess downstairs would make sense if there was a window sill above. Like, I'm just saying, does it make sense to go downstairs? That's one thought. And B, regardless of who did this, who's innocent, whatever, whatever, it would have. it would haunt me forever if I was a person in this situation

or honestly hearing it right now what are the damn messages yeah I know OPE does have a comment here I'm absolutely desperate to see these messages because I'm right there with you on the sheer wackiness of what they have to contain it hadn't occurred to me that they might still exist

I've never known him to lie but I do think mental health issues a real possibility his relationship with his sister didn't seem odd and I've never been interested in his phone but he's never been defensive about to use either. So I think you're, you might be right. If it had such incriminating messages, I'd probably be worried about them before now. And someone goes, does he have an old iPad that was linked to his phone? Just thinking that if he did, you might be able to find out whether or not there are any messages.

O.P. goes, you're genius. It's not signed into his messages. I was so excited. Ope goes, I have his iCloud password. It has a backup from yesterday. I have no idea how to turn this into something I can actually use. It doesn't have a messages folder or any signs of how to use it for anything other than restoring a whole phone, which I don't want to do. Does anyone know how to actually get these messages from this? Sorry to through a tech support request in. I can't believe I didn't think of this. Huge thanks to the person who suggested it.

Someone goes, whatever you do, do it quickly and quietly. Be aware that his device will likely get a notification about a new device signing in using his credentials. Someone goes, you should be able to erase the contents of the iPad and then put it in his iCloud password to restore it from backup yesterday. Then just click on the messages and it should have whatever was backed up. Opie goes, thank you. Whoa.

Not seeing any responses. That's it. Holy crap. Also, just to be clear, because this is somebody's real life and OPE. I do think that this is like, honestly, all I'm getting is real from this. It feels too crazy. No, I, and my point is, is like, I'm O.P. Like, if you are listening, I do not think that you murdered your husband's sister.

this is just kind of crazy. Like Morgan doesn't normally give me stories like this. And I literally just finished like a murder mystery series yesterday. It's all like being like really like on the nose for you right now. Yeah. Well, and it's just one of those things where the entire time I was watching the series, I'm like,

who did it? And then like part of me was like, is it the person who seems the least likely? Like is it? You know what I mean? So that's like why I said that I don't actually think that if you are listening. I know. I mean,

you can't prove one way or the other really. No. That's true. I don't know you. But you're, writing sounds like you're innocent. I know. And like there's one last comment. I thought that was going to be the last one I read, but like this is actually the last one because I'm not seeing as I scroll. I'm not seeing other like comments from O.P. Because username's deleted but you still see deleted OPE after it with some sometimes Reddit doesn't.

And sometimes Reddit doesn't is so weird. But there's one other one that's just like basically her saying I'm really scared of the prospect of him telling other people about this. And I feel like as time passes, the chances in For sure. I don't know whether I should get ahead of it or even how I'd approach that. He's intelligent, successful, and has plenty of friends. I've never known him to lie about anything. And I feel like this accusation could follow me around my entire life. I've asked his mother for an update and she hasn't gotten back to me. She left my last message for two days too and was quite dismissive when I tried to broach the issue of a psychotic break. Thank you for such a thoughtful reply. I genuinely think based on that, his parents do believe him. Damn. Like if the mom's cutting you off and there's no mention of mental health, there's no mention of anything, like I just, unless the family's like tight-lipped, we don't want to embarrass him, mental health is not talked about, we're going to hide this, then maybe, but also at the same time, like, this is her husband. They're married.

Like, this is extremely odd. But my mom would be, my mom would just not want to get the word out. No, not even that. Like, I just think my mom would respond the same way, not because she thinks that that person's guilty or believes her son, but just because she's just trying to deal with what's right in front of her.

The kid gloves, too. And just like, I don't know how to handle this. I'm not going to say anything. So it's like almost like the partner that's, your son is spiraling over is like the last of your, not the last of your eyes. She just lost a child. I mean, like, well, that too.

Yeah. And then you have like your son accusing his wife of killing her. It's like, Yeah. Weird. What? Yeah. That's probably the last of our worries to get back to OPE.

That's so true. Yeah. That's so true. This is insane. Yeah. O.P. has since deleted the account. I mean, people are in the comments, like, please update us.

We want to make sure you're safe. People are worried that he's going to turn around and kill her based on, like, all of his behavior. Like, people are very, very scared. But, yeah, we don't have an update. And I don't know. Obviously, Opie can't undelete the account. So it would have to be coming from a new account just being like, I wrote this post. And hopefully then someday we would happen to come across it.

And you just have to hope that that person's not faking it. Well, that's unsettling. That is unsettling. I really wish we had a little more than a little more resolved. I'm more so unresolved because it seems like she was able to get into ICloud stuff. And then it's like, after that, we have no comments. Yeah. So I'm like, fuck.

Like what's in the box? Eye cloud. Thank you. Okay. So again, the title was my 30 female husband, 33 male, accused me of murder out of the blue. How do I salvage this? And this was on August 2nd bonus episode for the month. And basically this guy accused his wife of murdering his sister, went kind of off the walls and was like, I know you did it. You saw our text messages. O.P. ended up getting into the iCloud, and that's where the updates ended for us. All we knew is she got into the iCloud, but we didn't know what she found. Yeah, it was maddening. And then there's another update. None of the Bauru accounts that I had, like, the write-ups on it had it. Someone on Patreon sent it to me, so here we go. Firstly, thank you to those who helped me get to my husband's

iCloud backups through an old iPad. I wasn't expecting much from Reddit, but I got valuable, practical advice before my post was locked, and I appreciate it. There were no crazy or even suspicious messages. I've searched for over 100 terms and scrolled back over years. I saw a side of them both I wasn't expecting, but nothing that explains the claim I murdered Laura over their chats. Nothing to suggest he was cheating, absolutely nothing to suggest incest. I repeat, no incest. No weird gaps where deleted conversations or a switch to another app would fit, just siblings making plans, sending memes, and gossiping. They said unexpectedly horrible stuff about a few people, but not me. It was sort of a relief, but it raised more questions than it answered. I saw it

legal advice, also from Reddit, after posting here, turns out my options are divorce him or sit down. I contacted my community mental health team who said they'd reach out, but made it clear it wasn't urgent. I then called his mom and said if I didn't hear from him by this weekend, I would get a solicitor and ask for a mental health assessment as a part of the divorce. In response, he made a ridiculous post to Facebook, which neither of us have used in years. And everything blew up. I'm going to try to keep this succinct. On Friday night, he made a long accusation on Facebook with new information. He said he'd been planning to leave me for months with his sister's support, and I found the messages and murdered her. The coroner has reopened the case and the police

are preparing to arrest me, and he needs to make sure people know before the trial stops talking about it. It was well written and seemed vaguely plausible. He messaged people. He messaged people, people links so I got some attention. We live in our hometown and have a large circle of friends because we've lived here all our lives. People I haven't spoken to since school were reaching out to me asking me what the fuck was going on. It was madness. In response, I posted the export of his entire conversation history with Laura, also to Facebook, when I finally got back in. I linked the chat along with a post explaining my side and noting that I had changed my ex's eye class. and Apple passwords, and that if he wanted them back, he should comment on my post and update his own,

admitting that he was lying. He eventually did. When I started getting messages about his post, I panicked, and changing his passwords seemed important to preserve everything because he'd know I had access. When I spoke to him the next morning, it's clear he's not having a mental episode at all, but is claiming one because he's been caught in a big lie. As soon as he was outed, he called, me, clearly drunk, begging and promising to explain everything if I deleted my post. I hung up and told him to call back the next day. He did, after many missed calls and texts, and he tried to bargain and guilt-chip me with his mental health again until it was clear the wrong people had seen his conversation. It's hard to describe, but it seemed fake. It was too

well rehearsed, and then this morning, when it was clear he was getting nowhere, he blocked me. begging for mercy and reciting facts about mental disorders that doesn't align with someone in crisis with a sincere belief that someone murdered their sibling. The question of why he did all of this remains unanswered, and he will not be getting his passwords until it is. The legal advice subreddit said this stuff is technically illegal, but it's beneath a court to take action. So I'm going to count on that because I felt like I had no other choice at the time, and now I don't see any other. way to get answers from him. I'm desperate, and it's all I've got. So there we are. The relationship I have believed was pure destiny since I was a teenager has boiled down to petty, convoluted, and vindictive bullshit played out on social media for reasons still unknown. My hope for a brain tumor

is fading, and clearly tomorrow morning is going to be when I lawyer up and stop posting about this. I am mortified. I have no idea whether some people might believe him, and I still don't know why this all happened in the first place. Sorry, I don't have a happier update, and thanks once again to everyone who offered advice. I just wish there was more of an update on that one, because now it almost makes it even more of a cliffhanger

and more confusing now that she's starting to rule out it being like a mental break. I started thinking was he, there arguing with his sister about her and then she fell when they were arguing and then like he started deciding that it was her fault because he was arguing about her like where did he get this from if he's not having a mental break then where did he get this from so top comment on the update i cannot think of a larger monster than a man willing to accuse someone of murdering his sister publicly, might I add to feign justification in a divorce? I'm so sorry this happened to you and that you do not know this person. You have many blessings for me. Next comment down. The fact that he went

nuclear with the Facebook allegation immediately after she mentioned divorce would support the theory that he wanted a divorce but without the fault being on him. Imagine being so callous and stupid to do something like that. Not only to accuse someone of murder, but to use your sister's death to your advantage. This is insane. Poor O.P. I just, I haven't even understood it since we first went through it. Yeah. It's not even like a what's in the box. Where you're just dying to know. It's just gotten so confusing that, yeah, I don't even know what to think. I don't necessarily need another update. I mean, it'd be great, but it's just like if we keep going down this same path, it's just going to get more confusing. It's just the motive, there is none. I don't even know how you

have a trial on this. It'd be such a crazy mess. I know. But I just, yeah, I can't think of, I can't wrap my head around any part of it. And it's scary because just simply getting, And this is what we talked about, just simply getting accused. I mean, think of many people wrongfully are out there serving sentences that didn't do anything. I know. And that, what, I mean, honestly, what's scarier than that? Getting convicted of a murder that you had nothing to do with and somehow you get framed? I mean, I think it's just like that's super scary.

But it's also like having your partner, someone you're married to, are in love with, have been with for years. you think you know them, all of a sudden wakes up, accuses you of murder, doesn't talk to you, goes crazy on Facebook. Like, is he maybe having an affair and he saw this as an easy way out?

Dude, you can't be that big of a coward. That isn't the easy way out, though. It puts such a big spotlight on everything. Yeah, I know. That's why it doesn't make sense. Any way that we spin it, it just doesn't quite add up. Okay, if you want more of that,

I'll see you over on Patreon. Other than that, until next time. Bye.