Two Hot Takes - 258: No Joking Matters Ft. James "Murr" Murray

Episode Date: March 4, 2026

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host James Murr Murray! We're diving into stories that are not coming across very funny.. they're crazy problems that aren't really anything to joke about! That would be impractical! From a woman get left at a cabin in the woods (alpine divorce?) to an OP whose partner has way too many fish takes.. we have some wild stories. Let me know how you would handle these stories? Checkout Murr's stuff!! : https://www.jamesmurrayofficial.com Melyssa's Candles: https://95candles.com/our-story Partners: Duluth Trading Company: Shop at DuluthTrading.com and in-store today. State Farm: Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with the Personal Price Plan! Bonus Content on Patreon including FREE stories: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ NEW MERCH:  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://shop.twohottakes.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Send us a letter? Our PO Box!! Two Hot Takes. 5042 Wilshire BLVD. #470. Los Angeles, CA 90036  WRITE IN TO US!!! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Index: 00:00 -- Start Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi friends. It's my birthday today. So I'm dropping this a little early and including a little extra something at the end because otherwise it would have been a short episode and I can't do that to you on my birthday. I just want to say thank you guys for being here. Two hot takes celebrated its five year birthday in February. We didn't really talk about it even. And I'm just so excited to be on this next trip around the sun with all of you. So thank you for being here. And enjoy the episode. Okay. I don't know. Then they just leave me alone in here and it's like, it's like, now it's super cozy. They just leave me alone in here. That's it. That's it. Like, have fun. How are you? I'm good, Morgan. How are you? I'm good. I'm so excited to have

you. Thank you for having me. This is wild. My wife and I are huge fans of the show. I'm a huge fan of you. And now your wife, she made me candles. She did. I'm just blown away by that. You're right from Melissa. She's so sweet. Welcome back to another. episode of Two Hot Takes you guys. I'm your host Morgan and I know you've already recognized him. You're screaming at home wherever you're watching. We've got James Murray

Murr today. Hello everybody. I have been watching your show at least for seven years. I thought you were going to say something else for at least like seven, eight weeks. No, no seven years. I actually think Impractical Jokers is like the only reason I started dating my husband. What? Yeah.

Hold on. do tell. It was like our hotel show. It was like anytime we'd be traveling, you can just bet you're gonna find impractical jokers or like Carbonaro effect, which that show messes me up.

But it was always jokers and like we just bonded over it and like just, it was always our show. Well, you know, we have three main demos of the TV show. Chances are if you're in a hotel, in prison or a hospital,

you're watching impractical jokes. And that's a fact. Prison? Yeah. Do you get letters? Our rings are. huge in prisons. We are the number one show in prisons across America.

Do you have any prison pen pals? Not me, but Q. I don't know why. It's always Q has like dozens of pen pals from prison that are full blown in love with them. Like, write him letters professing their... Oh, the women's prison. Oh yeah. Yeah. Like, well, it doesn't have to be the women's prison. You know,

it's prison. Anything goes. Yeah, we they play our show all the time. I guess to keep the prisoners laughing or in a good mood? Yeah, I mean, you're not going to be shined someone if you're watching us, you know, put a clothespin on somebody in the supermarket. Those are my favorite. Yeah. I feel like you get the worst

punishments though, I will tell you right now. Can I curse? Of course. No shit. You actually get tortured. No, I mean, you know, I had to show my ID to get in this building. Yeah. And my ID for, oh my God, for one more month still has no eyebrows. What, dude.

It's real. It's crazy. It's my... Do you get questioned a lot? No, I saw a tell you from the story. I feel like people might know. So, you know, I'm on tour like every week, right? And so I fly every week.

Last week, last Thursday, I'm flying to Tacoma. Okay. Our four shows last weekend in Tacoma. And it's like my flight's 6 a.m. So I'm at the airport at 4.45 a.m. TSA guy has his head down at the desk. And I slide my life. across the desk and I swear to God, he looks at it, he goes, what the fuck? And he looks up

of me and bursts out laughing because I look like a see something, say something. Yeah. You know. It, what, isn't there like an alien character that they're just like, if you were blue, like it'd be just, yeah, it's a lot. I look like one more month. Cue joke is that. I look like Lex Luthor's penis. Yeah. Yeah, which I see. I mean, I'll see it, you know what I'm saying. I see no semblance. Oh my God. I still can't believe you have that. Yeah, one more month. I can get a new one in March, March 28th. Just not count down the days or anything. It's been 10, nine and a half years.

Oh my gosh. I couldn't get over the fact that you got pierced. Oh, my ninnies got pierced. Yeah. My belly button, they wanted to pierce the little mer and I said no. And then, yeah, I got pierced multiple times. I've heard people that have penis piercings, like it can get stuck. On what? Like the cervix during sex.

I don't know. What's the cervix? I thought the cervix is on a woman. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Does a man have a cervix? No. But like when you're, when people are having sex, it will get stuck in there.

You, you understand what just happened. You said it can get stuck on the cervix. And I was like, wait, men don't have certain. I really appreciate your anatomy knowledge. I don't know. I don't know. I legit thought I was like, where's my cervix? Oh, God, it gets stuck on the, the female cervix.

Yeah. That wouldn't be fun. Mm-mm. You have to go. in to the hospital together. Like, yeah, there was a Grazen-A-A-N-A-E episode, I think, on it. How do they transport you? On a lazy boy?

On a gurney. On a gurney. You have to ride on. On top of each other. Still. Yeah. Together. Together.

Is it romantic? At some point, you got to laugh. Yeah. Afterwards. Like, oh my God, babe. Like, a lot of people bond over, you know, like, you bonded with your husband over impracted drovers. Yeah.

I mean, talk about a bonding experience. It was. Like. We both cried when you sky. Dove. Skydive? Skydive? Sky doved. Sky dove. Sky dove. Yeah. Something. I was like, this is like, this is not funny. Like, we were, we were actually crying for you. I was crying for myself. I felt your trauma through the screen. Thank you. You just, you're just so good. So I'm so excited to have you today and give you some of these stories. I think your responses are going to be really entertaining for me. I'm really excited for this. Like, this is wild to me. Why? Because I just, because I feel like I'm going to have fun opinions on stuff. And I can't. I can't wait to hear what stories, what effed up situations humans have found themselves in. There's quite a few. No, there's a lot of us.

Something's in retrograde again because people are losing it. Yeah. Me included. But okay, let's dive in. Okay. Oh my gosh. Here we go. Here we go.

This episode is presented by Duluth Trading Company, number one in Garden. Dig in a spring gardening wearing Duluth tradings five-star gardenware. Their dirt and debris deflecting, moisture wicking, and have 50 plus sun protection for those long days in the rays. Their heirloom garden overalls are made from stretchy, durable ripstop nylon, and loaded with 12 pockets. Plus knee pad pockets for extra comfort. Short overalls, overall dress, overshirt and pants are all new to the collection too. So whether you have one garden bed or 100 acres, there's gardenware for every green thumb. Shop at DuluthTraining.com and in store today.

Thanks to the Luth training company, my hometown brand, guys. Okay, we're going to ease you into it a little bit, okay? This one is coming from Today I Fucked Up. Okay. Titled Today I Fucked Up by getting a tattoo of my mom in a bikini. My dad passed away a few months ago. I was really close to him and I miss him a lot. My dad had quite a few tattoos, but one of them I remember dearly.

It was this pin-up style tattoo of a lady in a Hawaiian skirt and coconut bra on his calf. I always liked that tattoo, even though it was pretty badly done. Most of the color vanished over the years, and I remember our dad letting us color in the tattoo with markers when he wanted to take a nap and keep us busy. My mom always disapproved,

and I never understood why, until now. Uh-oh, here's the twist. One day, about two weeks after he passed, I was walking around the city and came by a tattoo shop. One thing led to another, and I walked out of that shop with the same tattoo my dad had, the lady with the coconut bra. The artist did a great job at recreating that tattoo, and I was very happy, until I got home and I wanted to show my mom.

My aunt was there, my dad's sister, and she started laughing like crazy. Oh, no, here it comes. My mom looked quite shocked, not the reaction I was expecting at all. I didn't understand what's happening until my aunt told me, quote, Well, now you've got your mom on you forever in a skimpy outfit. Great choice. Well, long story short, my dad got this tattoo about a year after they started dating. She wore this outfit to a party, took a photo, and he got it tattooed a few weeks later.

Great. Fucking great. I was a bit confused because my mom has always had blonde hair. The tattoo ladies got black hair. But apparently, she had a short phase of dyeing her hair black for a few months. As one does. My mom has always hated that tattoo. They almost broke up because of it back then.

She made him swear that he's never going to tell anyone the story behind the tattoo. Hence why I didn't know anything about it. And I never asked. I thought this was just a random tattoo he got on one of his many vacations. Well, now I have a tattoo of my mom in a coconut bra. Great. Dare I say hot? I'm sorry, it sounds a little hot.

I don't think you fucked up. I think this is a hot story. Hot? Yeah, it's kind of cool, man. It's awesome. No, you did not fuck up. It's hysterical, bro. It's hysterical.

It's just like one of those happy accidents because it's like to you, okay, like now you know it's your mom. Yeah. But it has so much more meaning behind it that it's really more about your dad and like those memories and kind of like honoring him. Yeah, I think it's, um, his father would love it. Right. So it's just say it's an honor. of your dad. It was what he would have loved.

He would have burst out laughing if he, especially because he didn't know it was the mother, you know? Yeah. It's absolutely hysterical. Do not look back. But it does make me, like, I have a couple of, do you have any tattoos? No tattoos, but yeah, you have a ferret. I have a ferret skydiving on my milky white thigh,

which is whenever I, like, get a massage, like, we're on vacation, I get a massage. There's two scenarios. Either the therapist recognizes me. me and laughs out loud when they get to the tattoo or they don't recognize me and they still laugh out loud when they get the tattoo. It's a ferret skydiving on my my my my my my my my my my my my my no one insert a picture forever like right here you'll see it and then uh I have a tattoo on my finger which I lied to my mother about until the day she passed it looks like maybe it's half a heart the number three in a mirror what have you okay it's not is it Wu Tang uh it's not Wutang it's not

Wu-Tang either. When you put my wife and I's index fingers together, it's a dick. These are the nuggets and she's got the, uh, stop. The shaftelberry. That's how you know it's love. Yeah. Only for my wife would have got a dick joke on my finger. But I lied to my mom to the day. She goes, what is that, James? She doesn't call me more. She calls me James. She goes, what is that? And I would say, oh, mom's half a heart. Melissa has the other half because I love her. It wasn't. It was a dick joke. Your mom. Yeah.

It was a DJ. I got a DJ on my finger. Oh, my gosh. I think getting recognized during a massage is like the last place I would ever want someone to recognize me. Like, genuinely, it really freaks me out getting recognized. I don't know why. I'm just like, hi, I'm just like, I don't know.

Could you imagine, I have a worse scenario. Could you imagine this is a scenario in which, you know, you're out, get drunk, and somehow would you get coerced to go to a swingers club? And you're a public figure. And you get recognized. That would be worse. So that's actually one of,

it was a swingers club. It was a strip club in Austin, Texas. Okay. And it was the first time my husband had gone to a strip club. We were there with like this celebrity. And so it was just this insane experience. Like we were just like. Mega VIP.

Yeah. So it was just insane. Like he's getting high fives from him. Like this is your first time? Yeah. Like, it was insane. Yeah. So we go to, like, the main stage and we sit around.

And all of a sudden, the dancer, like, is backing it up. And, like, it's so, like, it's so, it blows me away. It's, like, it's such a performance. It's such a talent to have and be able to move like that. Yeah. And all of a sudden, she looks over her shoulder. And she's, like, Justin? And, like, recognizes my husband next to me.

And then she looks over and she goes, Morgan? No way. then recognizes one of my other co-host, Alejandra, and she was a big fan of the show. And then we, like, took pictures together after, like, at the strip club. I'm like, this is incredible. Like, that, that was cool. Same thing. I mean, for us, very similar.

It's not so much as strip clubs, but prisons, hospitals, or, I'm telling you, I walk to the prison, forget it. I am taking photos. Oh, you're so funny. So this one's a happy one for you. It's a happy one. Man, it's hysterical. Just go with the tattoo.

Your mom's not going to be upset with it. It's an honor of your dad. Go forth. You show that tattoo at every barbecue you go to, man. You flesh it. Top comment on it. I'd say keep it. It's a reminder of your dad first and foremost.

If anything, it showed his love for your mom. Yeah. You could think of it as a symbol of your parents' love if you wish. No one has to know. It's your mom. If anyone asks, just say that it's a recreation of a tattoo your late dad had, and it's in his honor. You loved it before. enough to put it on your body permanently.

Don't let this new info ruin its memory for you. There you go. Okay, moving on to this next one. This is coming from relationship advice. It is titled, My 32 female, fiancée's 33 male hobby, is driving me crazy. Oh. Hi, everyone. I'm a committed relationship with my fiancé for more than seven years.

I would hope so. And we're living together. He's your fiancé. He is an animal lover. He had cats, birds, dogs, hedgehogs, even a ferret for a short period of time. Since we moved in together, we agreed to have only one pet, a cat. Everything was going smoothly until one day he wanted an aquarium. I said fine because, you know, it's just some fish swimming in an enclosed space, and they look nice. So I didn't hesitate. I said yes.

Just in one year, number of aquariums in the house rose to six. No. Now there are 12 aquariums. We have 10 gallons to 300 gallons. What? He's just torturing the cat, man. I couldn't stop him. He is always finding new things to try and his passion never faded away. There is no free space in our house anymore. Wherever I look, I see aquariums, filters, lamps, and other aquarium-related stuff. Sure. Our house is not even that big. The other problem is money. We both. work and have decent jobs, but taking care of 12 aquariums is quite expensive. More than half of his salary just goes to aquarium expensive. This is not real.

This can't be real. Half his salary? Half. He always buys the most expensive equipment, most expensive fish food, most expensive supplements. Like filet mignon? He's getting truffles. He's giving filet mignon with truffle butter for the fish. He even buys the most.

expensive fish. Like recently, he bought a single fish for $500. What? He is financially hurting himself. And the other thing is, we stopped traveling. We used to travel all over the world. Can't leave the fish. But since he can't leave his swimming babies alone for long, we can't leave the house for more than a day. That's a double entendre. The swimming babies got it. Okay. There is no way he would let someone, even a professional, take care of his aquariums for a week. What should I do? I don't want to break his heart,

but I can't continue to live with this amount of fish in my life. I don't want to leave him. I just want him to compromise and agree to have one aquarium. I know he's going to react in a bad way. How should I handle this? This is bad shit crazy.

This is a lot of fish. I have a couple questions. Does it say geoteg where this person lives? No mention. No mention somewhere anywhere in the country? Okay. No. And she's 32, he's 33. So when you're 33 years old, you start to make money.

Not a ton, not like when you hit 40, but you're starting. You have a decent job. You're not making $20,000 a year, like in your 20s or whatever. Now you're made, let's assume, approximate that he's got a job he's making 60 on average, 60, right? The two of them together are probably, hopefully, hitting 100 a year with their two salaries combined. So you mean to tell me, let's say he's making 60, he's spending, and that's before tax, okay,

he's spending $30,000 a year on fucking fish? Fish. F and F? Some people really love fish, though. Like, they look at fish. Oh, but come on, 12 fish tanks? I mean, that's insane. He's like running a red lobster in his house.

Are there fish tanks at Benny Hanna? What's that, like, restaurant that has like all the crazy fish? Not rainforest cafe. Is it a rainforest cafe? So there, some Benihana do have that thing, the giant display. Yeah, I'm a sucker for good Benihana. But there's also, uh, me and Benihana were not friends. Really?

Worst food poisoning? What did Benny do to you? Worst food poisoning in my life. No. Can't go back? Can I confess something? Me too. You too?

Yes, but it was my, it was my own, it was my own fault. I insulted the chef. I insulted the chef. No, the backup. The chef insulted me. And this is before I was married to my beautiful wife and Melissa. Okay. I was on a date.

I'm going back 13 years ago. Okay. I was dating someone. We went to a Benihana and the chef made an off-color comment about the girl. What the fuck? He went off script and I complained to the management. As you should. And we comped our entire meal.

He was off script. Anyways, because I ain't standing for that. So we tampered with your food? Several months later. I went back, different group of people went back. But he recognized you. God damn chef. And

dude. And I'm driving this is so embarrassing to say I'm driving back I'm driving back home right I was leaving in a brother in the time I was driving

back home and I did not make it I shit my pants in a in a 1990 Mercury Cougar car and I shit my pants on Highland Boulevard and Staten Island and thank you Benny

and to all the Hanna's out there yeah he took he he must have put purposely he definitely recognized me right because he 100%. I complained. And he must have to put way that was a coincidence.

You know, I'd spray that oil in the, that oil that put on the cooking in the habachi grill. He must have put way too much and he just tore through. Or he's found the oldest fish in the cooler. Or he gave me old freaking fish, man. I don't know. But yeah, I shit my pants while driving on Highland Boulevard in Staten Island. That's like. Same thing with you.

Food sickness. Yeah. Like, didn't poop my pants. That is a big fear of mine. But, yeah, just I'm a puker. And just puking is just, ugh. Just no. So I haven't been back to Benihana.

Can I pose a hypothetical question for you? Yeah. And then we'll get back to this. The fish. I know. I'm like, how do I get here? The hypothetical is this. And this, I just, it's like, so last year, on occasion, we got invited to movie

premieres, right? And so we'll do the red carpet thing. And when you're not in a movie, which I'm sure, you know, when you're not the cast of a movie, you have to report to the red carpet at a very specific time. Yeah. If you're not on camera. And then the cast comes, and they have the last half hour of the red carpet with press. Anyways, last year, my wife and I get invited to the Mission Impossible movie premiere.

I was like, heck, yeah, let's go. We're traveling from Jersey. It takes us two hours, two and a half hours to get in. The traffic was crazy. So we get to the red carpet at the wrong time slot, but they still let us walk. So it just so happened that we were in front of Tom Cruise on the red carpet. That's crazy. This close.

He's next to me. me, he doesn't recognize me, he does not watch an impractualtakers, right? He's right next to us. So we're in the red carpet, taking photos, whatever, and I lean into my wife and I whisper in here, I was like, I get a bet for you. For $10 million, would you, like, shit the red carpet right now for $10 million in front of Tom Cruise at his own movie movie. For $10 million?

Like, you would be known forever. Yeah. 10? 10? We're talking 10. You would destroy the premier. It's mission impossible. I feel like...

Okay, five. Yeah. I honestly would probably do it for like 100K. You understand the consequences. You'll be known for the rest of your life. It would maybe help grow my podcast. The podcaster who est her P in a red carpet in front of Tom Cruise, it would be explosive.

I feel like the- Maybe the Church of Scientology wouldn't want that, though, on their, like, their stars, like, premiere. So, you know, I feel like it would be taken care of very discreetly. You know? God, are they going to sweep it under the red carpet? Literally. Yeah.

Okay, got it. So, I think 100K. I feel like there's people listening. They're like, I would do it for five. Five. Okay. Five K? You're not thinking through the consequences.

Literally. Like, it becomes the most viral video on earth ever. I need to know what you guys would do this for. Like, everyone in the comments put what it would take for you to shit on the carpet. Like how much? Okay. But you understand. Like, you'll be banned forever from.

any industry event, you'll be known forever. Every wedding you go to, you go to your nephew's bris. You're known as the girl who shit the red carpet. You go to a, you go to a kinseniera. And suddenly, oh my God, there's Aunt Morgan. Did you see her ruin Tom Cruise's red carpet? I bridesmaid style it, though. I just, you know, a little dress over it and not move.

Can't move. I got to wait until it's done, guys. Okay. I'll be here after you take down. Yeah, okay. I have a price, too. my price would probably Yeah, I mean, low millions.

Yeah, like for... Like one? Maybe for one. Tax free? Tax free? Sure. Yeah. One?

Yeah. And only cash tax free. I feel like you've done worse on the show. Well, there was an episode of Joker's where we put Sal in an escape room for an hour. They lock the doors. Yeah, a little girl comes in. Six or seven other, no, different one. Okay.

He's in a room with like six or seven other strangers trying to solve an escape room. And the first five minutes of a little. an hour-long escape room with the door locked, he had to wet his pants. And he's wearing khakis. He stood up on a pool table to check for a clue and legit wet his pants on camera. That was real. And 100% real. And it was chaos in that room because they had 55 more minutes and the room was full of another human's urine.

It was, they. So there you go, man. That's it. And so that was, yeah, he did that kind of for free. Oh, my God. God. Yeah, it was crazy embarrassing. He had a very full bladder because that's a lot of people.

We had to do it twice. We did it once and he got in the room with one group and could not physically pee. And after like a half hour, he's like, I can't do it. And we ended the group. An hour later, then we took him, no joke, across the street. There was a bar. And we had him drink like eight shots of whiskey in a row and down like two full beer cans. And then went back in, brought a second group in, and he was able to finally do it.

So check it out. Yeah, I wouldn't need to be drunk to do that too. Yeah, I couldn't do it. No. Oh, my gosh. Well, anyways, we're all off. Okay, fish. Yeah, back to the fish. How does she handle it?

Do you just sit down and, like, have an honest conversation? So the real issue for me is that he's, here's the thing. When you get married, you, the hardest switch of marriage is thinking, changing your train of thought to thinking from I to we, right? It's the hardest thing. It's a constant daily struggle. I think you get better at it, for sure. But you're so trained in your life to think of I, I, I, I.

And then when you get married, you have to be thinking for two, not just one, and what your partner would want. And it's a very hard skill to master. So what he's done, the biggest thing for me is that if he's truly spending, like, half his salary, unless it's an exaggeration, he's not thinking as a we. He's not thinking as a engaged man that's building a future with his salary. soon-to-be wife. Financially, he's not thinking of her well-being in terms of travel.

Travel is, I think, is my favorite part of being married is like my wife and I try to travel. Like, you get one shot at life, right? Yeah. Hopefully it's 80 years. Do everything. Explore everywhere in the world. And if that's what you love as a couple and she loves to travel and you're prohibiting you as a couple from doing that thing that your fiancé wife loves so very much and improves

your life and makes you a more well-rounded better human. Yeah. Gosh, you're hurting your fiancé directly. I know. So for me, fuck the fish. I mean, seriously. I know. There's a comment from O.P. here, though, that says, like, for him, every aquarium and

fish have a sentimental meaning. Me saying, get rid of that one is like saying, honey, we have too much children. Let's give a couple of them to other people. He takes good care of them, never asks for my help. I can't find that courage in myself. I disagree. Here's why. Fish don't give a shit, okay?

A fish, they do not know who. I have this debate with my wife all the time because she's obsessed with getting a fish tank in the house. And I've always said no. Melissa's over here off camera. What? And she freaking snuck one in the house. I told her, I said, I love my wife.

Why would you do that to her? Here's why. It's not her dream. She's doing it as a joke. She's to fuck with me, right? Which is part of our marriage. And I love that, right? But she said, I'm telling you, not only will you not know there's a fish tank in her house,

I'm going to buy one and populate it with fish, and you won't even notice it. I was like, I will notice this fish tank because fish don't know who you are. They're not affectionate. They have no long-term memory. After 20 seconds, they've already forgotten your face. Okay? You are nothing to them emotionally, like a dog or a cat or what have you, right? So she did it.

She freaking snuck a fish tank into her house and it took me months to find it. And when I did, where was it? It was in her office and she hid it and had fish in it and then go figure the fucking fish died after like two weeks. So. Well, she's getting a new fish. There's no way. You're getting a new fish. My wife's off camera. There's no way. I feel like there's like new studies that say fish actually have a lot more going on with them than we previously thought. There's also this video I saw of this guy who goes to the same river every day and this fish comes up to him and he like pets it. This is not real? This is not real.

You don't think that's real? How does he know it's the same fish all like bass look alike? It has a spot on it. It's the same fish. He's got a mole. It's got a mole. It's got a tattoo of Margaret Thatcher on it. This is crazy. That's not true. You can't tell one, you know, striped bass from another.

Maybe you could, but a lot of them look alike, you know what I'm saying? Or they're like 10% you know difference. I don't know if it's the same fish. Well, I'm going to be optimistic and think. gets the same fish. There is a really good comment here. It's one of the top ones that says, basically, here's what you do. Tell him how this is affecting your lives and ask him how you can continue forward in a way that works for both of you, not being able to afford luxuries or travel at all because of his hobby is a bit much. Good luck. I hope this doesn't become the hill you have to die on.

And OP responds, he is aware of the consequences we are facing. Just yesterday, he was looking at our old photos and said how much he missed traveling. I said nothing. Maybe I should have said something. We're fairly open to each other, but I can't predict what his reaction will be. Maybe, you know, I got an idea. This is a crazy idea.

Why don't you lure him into vacations again by taking him to famous aquariums around the world? Oh my God, honey, there's a great aquarium in Japan. We have to go. That's a great idea. You have to see these fish. They fish like we don't even have in North America. That's a Jedi Mindtray.

Right? Oh, my God. some fish home. Oh my god, there's this amazing aquarium on safari in Kenya in this resort. Go snorkeling. Right. Oh my god, I was snorkeling in, you know, Turks and, you know, Bahamas. Yeah. Both the Turks and Bahamas. That's a really good idea. Trick him. Also, it is not a hill to die on. Like, I don't think so. No. I hope your love is stronger than his fish tank obsession. True. And if you can't have a simple conversation about the fish, like, again, it doesn't have to be the hill. Like, there's a compromise there and like let's get you at least comfortable with someone else and train them in and then let's go on a trip let's start with a weekend.

Yeah. Like it doesn't have to be a two-week cruise. But we don't have an update on this one. Okay. Well, it's six years old now. This story is from six years ago. Six years ago. I mean, at this point, I assume they're both dead.

What? You are such a pessimistic thing. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. You know, asteroid attack. Who knows? I'm not saying anything nefarious. Okay.

It wasn't like a... The fish caught them. Yeah, I don't know what happens. Fish caught them. I think they're still out there. I actually think they're going to hear this and then they're going to give us an update. I hope that they are, you know, snorkeling right now in the Great Barrier Reef and don't get eaten by a shark. This episode is brought to you by State Farm.

We love a hot take. We do not love a complicated decision. That's why State Farm makes bundling easy. With a personal price plan, you can choose the coverage you need and get a price that works for you. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on ratings plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer.

Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state. Have you seen Heated rivalry yet? No. Have you heard about it? No. What is it? Heated rivalry is like probably one of the most viral. It's like a cultural phenomenon show right now.

So it's the show coming from Jacob Tierney, recorded in Canada, and it is about, like, closeted hockey players and their love story. And it is just having... Who are they closeted for? Well, like, they're in the closet. They're gay. Oh, okay. And so they're in the closet for anyone, I guess, I suppose. Yeah.

So they're in the NHL. They're playing professionally. And, like, it follows them over the years and how they, like, reconnect and have to hide their love. And then at the end, like, are they going to be together? Are they going to, like, it's just, it's a really good show. It's a show about gay hockey players? Yeah. In Canada?

Yeah. That rekindle their, that hide their love? It's amazing. That's cool. Yeah. I'm in. Okay. Well, this one is about a romance novel.

Does I have something to do with this? Not, not heated rivalry. But I was like, I was trying to get your, you know, where you are at out on baseline. Are you with the heated, like, rivalry? In terms of what? Should I think that gay hockey players should be together? Sure. Yeah.

You live once. Love everyone. Have you ever read a romance book? Have I read a romance book? Have you ever read Smut? No, I have not. I have not, although I guess the crew of impractical jokers started reading these romance stuff. Okay.

What are they called, Love? Do you remember? What's the one that you read? It's like fantasy porn. Okay. So the crew of impractical jokers has been reading fantasy literature. It's a big genre. Yeah, I had no idea how.

big it was. Really? No, because I write, I write, the books I write, I write books. I write, I've got nine thrillers out in stores right now. And they're all... What? Sci-fi, horror, um, uh, they're really scary books. Okay, well, maybe add a little romance into...

So I have an idea. You could tap into a whole new audience. I wrote three sci-fi horror, two serial killer novels, three children's sci-fi comedy books, and then one creature feature called Don't Move. That actually comes out movie theaters in September. Okay, let's go. And the movie is Rob Wrigal, T-Pain, Luss the rapper in his debut lead role in a movie.

Q is in the movie, Tom Kavanaugh, Lindsay Fonseca. It's amazing. I mean, you say T-Pain, I'm there. He's so underrated. He's so underrated. It's based on my book. It comes out in September. You're going to love it.

But I do have an idea for a romance novel. Okay. In the sci-fi space, though, it, I can't go into it right now. I'm developing it now, but it's an idea I dreamt. about a month or two ago. Okay. And I called my co-writers.

I got an idea and this could be a romance, our first romance. This next one's perfect for you then. Oh my gosh, hit me. Wow. This is really lining up. Okay, so this is coming from True Off My Chest.

It's two days old. Titled... Oh my God. This is fresh. Like literally yesterday, basically. I snapped and called out my friend's husband for shitting on her love

of spicy books in front of everyone. And now the group chat is blowing up. Oh. I have a close friend group that has been tight since college. One of the couples is Jake and Emily. Emily's always been a reader in the group. She got me into some fantasy series a few years ago,

but the last couple of years, she's gone deep into romanticcy, like Butcher and Blackbird, haunting Adeline, The Ritual, God of Malice, all the dark, steamy ones. She talks about them the way people talk about sports or video games, excited, analyzing the characters, laughing at the banter.

It's clearly her happy, place, especially after a rough patch with work and some family crap. I've seen how much lighter she is when she's in the middle of one of those books. Her husband, Jake, has never been into reading, which is fine, but he's gotten increasingly dickish about her book choices. He'll make these snide comments like, quote, still reading your trashy porn novels? Or can't believe you're wasting time on that garbage when there's real literature out there. She usually just laughs it off or changes the subject, but you can see her shrink a little each time. Last Saturday, we were all at a backyard hangout.

Maybe 8 to 10 of us, grilling, beers, music. Emily was telling me and another friend about a scene in Pucking Around, and that had her cracking up. Hockey romance, super spicy. She loves the humor in it. Jake overhears, rolls his eyes, and goes loud enough for everyone to hear. hear. Yeah, she's obsessed with that smutty fantasy crap. It's basically just erotica for women who can't get it in real life. He's insulting himself. Then he laughs like it's the funniest thing. The vibe went dead. Emily went quiet, stared at her drink. A couple of people gave

awkward chuckles, but I was pissed. I set my beer down and said, straight up, dude, why do you feel the need to humiliate your wife in front of her friends for something that makes her happy. Yep. She's not hurting anyone. She's reading books. If you don't like them, cool. But shitting on her every time she mentions them is insecure as hell. Knock it off.

Jake got defensive fast. Whoa, relax, man. It was a joke. But his face was red. Emily looked at me with a mix of surprise and gratitude. Then quietly said thanks under her breath. The rest of the night was awkward as fuck. Jake barely spoke to anyone, and we all left earlier than usual.

Since then, the group chat has been a mess. Two of the guys are saying that I overstepped and should have talked to him privately, or it's their marriage, not your business. One girl said she thought Jake was being an ass and appreciated me saying something. Emily texted me separately to say it meant a lot because he's been dismissive of her hobbies for a while, and she feels like she has to hide what she enjoys. Jake hasn't said shit to me directly yet. I don't regret it.

Watching him belittle her like that, especially when she's finally found something that lights her up, felt wrong. But now I'm wondering if I just made things worse for her at home or if I turned a small thing into group drama. I just had to get this off my chest. Felt good to say it out loud in the moment, but the fallout sucks.

Anyone else ever had to call out a friend's partner like that? How did it play out? Gosh, this is a tricky one. There's so much to unravel. I mean, you were on it, though, where you're like, he's insulting himself. Yeah. How's he not getting that? So it is, so let's let's break it down several ways.

What's going on in his head, right? Why is he so dismissive of his wife? His wife's doing nothing wrong in the slightest. Read everything you want in life, right? There should be more reading and less fighting in the world, right? Yeah. So read anything that it gives you, pledges. entertains you, challenges you, whatever she wants to do, she should do. Okay, so she's done nothing

wrong. He, what's going on in his head that he's dismissive of his wife's hobby or interest? It's insecurity, but why? Is it insecurity physically of his relationship or intimacy with his wife that it can't compete with what she's reading? Is he worried as a man that she's in her head while they're intimate together and thinking about other things? Is it, uh, is it him? And he's, and he He's using every insult in the book to make it not that, right? Saying there's real literature out there. It's full of shit. That's not what's going through his head, right?

Because he's not reading freaking, you know, Nietzsche or Shakespeare or... Socrates. He's not reading shit. Plato. He's not reading shit. People are on vacation. They're reading the newest, my book, right? They're reading the news as Dean Coons.

Don't talk about yourself like that. They're reading the news as Dean Coons or something like that, which is just entertaining. So that's not his real motive. What's his real motive? He's insecure in their relationship or his, you know, he thinks that she's getting a rocks off. It's purely physical, right? And what he's imagining, she's thinking, you know.

And the tell son for him is the, he's basically insulting himself, which is wild. I know. So the bigger issue is that he's, he's embarrassing his wife publicly. And he's, oh, it's just a joke. It's not a joke. It's not a joke. It's not a joke.

It's coming from some. where we are. Now, the other question, though, is, was the friend right to go back at him publicly? That's a tricky one. I have a comparable story. Okay. So, and I did not do it publicly, publicly, I did it privately. Okay. So I have a friend that had been dating the same person for a long, long time. Okay. Like years. And when we became friends, I met this person, and I immediately did not like the individual because she was the kind of person that kept undercutting him in conversation

for his accomplishments all the time. Never building him up in any way. We'd always make a snide comment or undercut or undercut. And I was like, I was like, this is not, you do not do that to your partner in public, right? And I met this individual like two or three times. And then my buddy and I became good friends.

After a year becoming good friends. We were drunk one night and celebrating. something we had to celebrate and I said to him I was like we're a good friend at this point right he goes yeah I said can I be honest with you he said what I said what I said what I was in shock he was what I was like she is undercutting you in public left and right constantly I was like wow I was like you are you are working her ass off to achieve something working hard and you're a good boyfriend and she's undercutting you in public conversations all the time with when I first met him

We were strangers. And she's undercutting him in front of me. That's insane. I was like, fuck this person. Yeah, no, that's insane. I gave him a day. This was August of a year. I gave him until Christmas to break up with her.

One week later. What do you mean you gave him until Christmas? Were you like, I'm not friends with you if you don't break out with her? Things are only real when there's a deadline, right? One week later. Oh, my God. He didn't wait until Christmas. One week later, he dumped her.

Unravel his entire life. And then got married to an amazing woman and has an amazing kid. And now his whole life is totally different. and became so much more confident in his own life. Wow. And now he's a partner that's supportive and believes in him and you trust him. You know what I mean? It makes all the world the difference when you're with somebody that loves you and respects you and builds you up.

Yeah. And wants you to be better than yourself and knows that you can be. And can you, you know what I mean? Like, this is bad news, man. No. And I just, I don't understand that. Like, why would you want to be with someone who's your biggest hater? Yeah.

Like, they don't like you. They should be your biggest fan, right? Literally. So should the friend had said something important. public, that's the question. Yeah. Look, she's not sorry for doing it, so fuck it. Like, like, you know.

I honestly, I appreciate it. I feel like someone like Jake probably needs a little bit of like that public humiliation. Yeah. And he's publicly humiliating her. Yeah. He's calling her out. Oh, that erotica trash. It's just for women that can't get anything.

Not, he's too stupid to even recognize it's literally a knock on him. Yeah. But I feel like someone like that just needs a reality check. And I don't understand it. I think it kind of comes up here and there where, like, typically guys will be threatened by those romance novels. And I don't really understand why. And I think, you know, there's this common thing where it's like a lot of people read them because they're not getting that in their real life. But I feel like for this guy, Jake, Jake could easily go to Emily and be like, what did you read today?

Show me that page. Like, you can bring it into your real life and make it fun and like make it a thing in your relationship. it doesn't have to be this threat. Here's the fun idea. Act it out. Literally. Right? I mean, it's going to be hysterical, right?

Like, get the outfits that they're wearing and whatever. Let's say the romance novel set in Tahiti and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Reenact the whole thing. Yeah. You'll not only be a great time with your partner, but you'd be crying laughing, crying after like 20 minutes. It'd be the funniest damn thing you've ever done as a couple. And it would probably be great sex as a result, too.

There you go. I just, I don't see how, like, this is a... a loss for him and why he's so threatened. I wonder if she had, if the friend had not done it publicly in the group setting, do you think her first attempt should have been, unless she decided to go private? Should she speak to him directly or should she speak to her friend and say, hey, I don't like what the way he's doing this. Yeah.

As your friend, you know, just thought you know, should you go through her, the woman, the wife, or should you go to the husband on the side? I don't know. That's tricky. I feel like for me. Fuck this guy. Do it in public. That's what I'm with.

And literally the wife texted this person and was like, thank you. So hopefully this will be like that like wake up call for her to be like, I don't deserve this. And I'm like, oh, okay, divorce worthy over a book. Like, honestly, yeah. One would hope that their relationship is built on more solid foundations than him. He just has to be reeducated here. I just don't think he respects her at all. there's something going on in his mind

that's screwing this up. I think it's... Something. You know. I'll tell you what. If he doesn't look at porn on the internet, then she'll... It's not even comparable.

This is a book, man. It's not even comparable. As I said it, I was like, no, fuck that. No. It's not the same. And like, you're using your imagination. Like, he can go read books as well.

Yeah. He's got to screw loose. I'm curious what you think about this next person because I can't figure them out. Okay. Okay. This is coming from... from our slash relationship advice.

Okay. It's titled, Boyfriend, 35 male, says my cooking proves I'm not a gold digger. And then she's 29 female. I've been with my boyfriend for four months. He's a lawyer and has a very stressful job. To give a backstory,

things were amazing in the beginning. He took me to fancy restaurants, cooked dinners by candlelight, and I could tell he was very nervous about making a good impression. He would kiss me from head to toe, tell me I'm perfect, his princess, et cetera, et cetera. It was honestly a bit much. Over time, he became more short-tempered and needed my attention a lot more.

Oh. I slowly began cooking while he was too busy working to help. Then he could only have sex for 45 minutes before going back to work. One night, I joked that he could only have sex if he worked for it. And he became greatly upset. and told me I had crossed a major boundary. Things started to get a little weird. He told me he doesn't usually date women who work in marketing.

I work in marketing. Okay. But it seemed that he made an exception for me. Oh, that's nice of him. Then, sometimes he would power call me if I didn't answer right away. Power call PC? Four to five times in a row. Oh.

He started becoming a bit jealous. For example, I'm. mentioned that Zach Galaphanakis is funny, and my boyfriend's face turned completely dark. I had a friend paint me nude, and my boyfriend said, I don't know how I feel about someone seeing my woman naked. You know, okay. I mentioned an ex-boyfriend, and he wanted to know what school he went to, and he became super defensive and aggravated. Sometimes at night, I turned my phone onto airplane mode, and my boyfriend explains, that it makes him feel disconnected and unsafe.

And could I please check in and check out before doing so? From my understanding, I thought we were dating, until one day he talked about partnerships and his needs. Finally, he stated that he is paranoid about gold diggers. He said because he has a high-income job, he doesn't want women who will only request fancy restaurants. He said it's good that I cook for him because it proves that I'm not a gold digger and I'm not like those other women.

The thing is, I don't always want to cook, but now I kind of feel guilty about it. He's become a bit weird about communication, and he will literally say, okay, I expect to hear from you by six. He said he needs our partnership to be organized and predictable. He needs to know that I will respond in a certain time frame, and if I can't do that, it won't work. I just found these exchanges really bizarre. Please help.

There is no helping in this situation. You gotta run. There's so much to unravel. And this is only four months. This is nuts, man. This couple either needs to break up yesterday or get married today. No. They're either perfect together or should never talk.

They're both. I like option too. They're both fucking nuts, man. They're nuts. You think she's nuts? There's so many red flags all on both sides of the equation. Really? Yeah, okay.

I would have to start. My God, there's a billion. First, him being jealous of Zach Gallifanakis is hysterical to me. I love Zach Gallifanakis. Yeah. Love it. I love him. He's hysterical.

He's hysterical. But come on, bro. Like, your girlfriend is with you. She's not running off to be with Zach Galvanakis, who I don't know if he's married, but I assume he's happily married. Who knows? I don't know. Either way, he's kind of unattainable.

Yeah, either way. Where's he been? I don't know. What do you find out? Yeah, it's not like she's going to run into him, you know, at the aquarium store where she's buying new fish for her boyfriend. So the point is, okay, so that's an insane jealousy. The fact that he power calls her is insane.

That I've never heard that term. The fact that he doesn't normally date women in marketing is bad shit crazy. That feels like just such a like, I never dated counties. You know those dirty marketing girls. Who? What was the? You don't. Trust me, you don't want to get involved with women in marketing.

Because you don't want them to market to me. Like, they could start trying to sell you stuff. Like, you know, breathe right trips or like, you know, acety. Who knows what they're marketing? Okay. You can't tell. It's impossible. It's crazy.

But then she also puts her phone on an airplane mode at night. That's crazy. That sounds relaxing. At home? Put it on do not disturb. Yeah. That's weird. Like a normal human, do not to serve.

That way emergency calls can always get through. But if you're on Wi-Fi, airplane stuff, like Wi-Fi still comes through. Like, messages still come through. But I guess calls wouldn't. Calls wouldn't. No. It's weird, man. It's super dangerous.

If I were dating someone and they put airplane mode at night on a night and out-working or something, and there's no way, I would be upset. Maybe she doesn't want to be tracked. And then- Which is why this couple should either get married or never talk again. I like option, too, that you keep saying, never talk again. Oh, oh, oh. I'm going to keep reversing what order I say it.

I feel like for me, I'm like, I feel like most of the red flags are on his part. Yeah, there's a lot on his part. Like the fact that, like, early on, he was like, really, like, love bombing her. Fancy restaurants, cooking dinners. Oh, you're so perfect. You're my princess. You don't even know me. Yeah.

Like four months? I've had food in my fridge longer than you. Like, what? Chill. I will tell you, I bought the wedding ring for my wife after. four months of what dating. How did you know? I waited until six.

I just, I knew, I'll tell you what, I knew on date number one. We were at my favorite restaurant in town and I remember sitting across from her and looking at her eyes and being like, it was just different. It just was immediately different. And I never believed to people

when they say you know what you know. I thought they were all full of shit, honestly. And it just was instantly different. And also, she was the first person ever met my life that I was like, I would have children with that person. Wow. Which I'd never had that, ever had that feeling in my life.

And I just knew. I knew immediately. And I remember, so before we jumped on this podcast, we were, we here at the Spotify headquarters in New York City. And there's a really great view. And there's a view of an old apartment that I owned and I got my money back from because the building was crooked. There's all sorts of crazy delays.

And I got my money back. and I remember being on the set of impractical jokers, and I was upset because I, I really, the first thing I ever owned in my life, I bought an apartment. I never had the financial means of my life to buy anything. Not a house, an apartment. I didn't own a car until five years ago.

Wow. Think about that. It's crazy. So I bought an apartment. The building goes under. They don't finish the building. I have to get my money back. I was really upset on set.

And the guys said to me, they said, uh, Mur, are you serious about this girl you're dating? And I said, Yeah. And they said, are you going to marry her? I said, absolutely. That was only after like two or three months of dating. Oh my God. And they said, and the guys were like, what are you doing? Save your money.

Go buy a house with, get engaged and buy a house with her and form a real life with her. And that's exactly what I did. And I have never turned back. It's the best choice ever. I love that. I absolutely love that. So like with the woman in the first few months, I get it. You can know early. The problem is that he then turned crazy. Right. Yeah. The mask slid.

very quickly. Yeah. Very quickly. Yeah, it's a dozy. I mean, top comment. Yep, four months is about how long it takes for the mask to slip. Congrats. You've met the real him. It only gets worse from here. Oh, interesting. Interesting. The real him. The right, the R.H. Yeah. And O.P., the writer responds and goes, honestly, I'm getting major power hungry and obsessive vibes from him. Yeah, it's like American Psycho. American Psycho. That's exactly what I was trying to think of. American Psycho. He seemed like we're in a suit during the day and like way too intense. Yeah. So intense. Another person goes, he's going to try to escalate things to see how far he can push your boundaries.

It's called a shit test. Tell him no to anything and watch his reaction. Controlling men think boundaries are an assault on them. He will retaliate against any attempt to assert your needs and set healthy boundaries. And O.P. responds and goes, I took about 48 hours to myself, saying I wasn't feeling well, I needed a bit of space. He said, take all the time you need. But then... Which is passive-aggressive.

When he did talk, he said how unsafe and angry he felt. Emotional manipulation. You feel unsafe and angry? Because I just needed a little space. Yeah, it's an emotional manipulation. He is a con man, for sure. So we get an update. We do?

Yeah. Holy smokes. I really want to know about the fish situation, though. That was six years ago, man. I know. Now they're dead and it's too late to find out an update. Okay, what's the update here? Update.

Hi, my first post was here, and they link it. Holy shitballs, mother of pearl. What the fuck was that relationship? We broke up shortly after I posted. By the end, things had become so bad that even I, insecure and needy, didn't have the patience anymore. He needed me to comply with all of his rules, listened to his work problems, talk him through his anxiety, cater to him sexually. It was too much. When we broke up, he told me how devastated he was and how important I was to him. He was

manipulating me by saying, we can only be friends and that we should meet just to test the waters. It was the most confusing time of my life. He started to create weird communication rules after the breakup by saying, I need space. I can't talk right now. Contact me in two weeks because he needed to heal. But then he would call me and tell me all about his work problems and how he got a raise, et cetera, et cetera.

Then he would flip to the other side and angrily tell me, I never want to be in a relationship with you again. I want to see other people. We are over forever. You know what happened? I woke up. I realized that this man had. serious issues that have absolutely nothing to do with me.

I can honestly say it was like being sucked into a fucking vortex. And we only seriously dated for seven weeks. Exhausting. But all of your comments truly, truly helped me. You all have no idea how much time I read them pretty much every day. So thank you. Thank you. I'm moving on and feeling strong.

Wow. Good for her. I know. Do you think there's any anyone who's right for this guy? Maybe if he goes to some serious therapy, I think he's got a lot to address internally. Presuming that he won't, because he doesn't seem self-aware enough to take that step, right? So presuming he's going to live his life as he does, is there, even with those red flags, even with that, whatever he's dealing with, is there someone that still compliments that? I would venture to say there might be.

There might be. That plays into all his shortcomings, all his, all his faults. all his neuroses, the things he needs. There could be someone out there. There could be. I don't know what that person looks like. Because I feel like if you have someone who's like almost like him and meets him at that level, it's like too much. Like he needs someone that he can kind of control.

And I don't know. Like it's, that's a tough one. Yeah. It's a tough one. But I'm glad. I'm glad it works out for. I know. Happy ending there.

Go find a guy that buys way too many fish. It sounds better than that guy. It really does. It puts the fish thing in, you know, in good contrast. Like, she's set. She's good. I know. Just take them to the Great Barrier Reef.

I do want to go snorkeling now. Even though fish scare me. I just don't want them to touch me. Like, have you seen them when they come, like, give those pedicures? Yes, freaking, oh my gosh, I had that done once. It's disgusting. It's terrifying. You let the fish eat you?

We did an episode of Jokers where we worked as, you know, estheticians and pediatians and not pediaturians. understand how they let you do this. You, you like literally pretend you're like a little dental hygienist person and go in people's mouths. Yeah. How do they let you do this? Real loose, real loose a goosey, man. We get around it. What's the, what's the foot thing? Podiatrist? I've worked as a podiatrist, but in a, in a, in a spa. Like a pedicure? A pedicure. Okay. A pedicurist? Yeah. A pedicurist person. So I've given pedicures. I've given you know, nails, ascetician. I've worked as a podiatrist as well. But when we were giving pedicures to people.

Okay. They had me, um, while I was giving a woman a pedicure and I, you know, take her feet, put them in the water. They had me eating spare, a full rack of spare ribs. Okay. And I hold in my mouth as I'm working her feet in the, oh my God. And the rib, they said, Murr, drop the rib into her foot water. And it did.

And I don't think I've seen this one. And then I said, now take it out and continue eating it as if nothing happened. No. And I flip and did. Did you have nice feet at least? I mean, feed is feet or feed, you know, nobody's feet are nice. No, there's levels of. No, there's levels of feet.

Like sometimes people have like toenail fungus. Oh. Yeah, like my dad, his feet, not good. He's got like a black toe. It's really bad. They seems relatively normal, but feet are all disgusting. I wouldn't, that's one. It's a tough job I wouldn't be able to do.

Yeah. No, I, uh, feet are disgusting, man. They really are. They had, when we worked as podiatrists, uh, they dared me. There's an older gentleman there. His feet were not nice. Okay. And they said, Mur,

All you're talking to him about his condition and recommended, you know, care for his feet. Yeah. Slowly stimulate his big toe. Okay. With a certain gesture. No. Because I'm rubbing his feet. I'm, you know, lotion, you know, whatever.

Yeah. And I'm doing a certain gesture as one might do with his big toe. And I did it for the whole time. And he was oblivious the fact that I was, you know, giving him a hand job. He probably had decreased sensation. A toe job, a T.J. Yeah. I give him a hot T.J.

Oh, my gosh. How did he not notice, though, even just like visually? You know, just because I was still speaking authoritatively with confidence about nonsense, which I knew nothing about. See, I'm gullible. Like if, yeah, I'd probably fall for it too. Yeah. In communities across Canada, hourly Amazon employees earn an average of over $24.50 an hour. Employees also have the opportunity to grow their skills and their paycheck by enrolling in free skills training programs for in-demand fields, like soft.

Software Development and Information Technology. Learn more at aboutamazon.ca. Okay, this next one for us. Coming from relationship advice, it's only 17 days old, so just... Still fresh. Just over two weeks. It's titled,

My husband, 27 male, left me, 26 female, at a friend's cabin in the woods. My husband and I visited our friend's cabin for a celebration. My husband is more of an introvert and I'm more of an extrovert, especially when it comes to being around our close friends who I've known for many years. He was brought into our friend group about three years ago, and that's how we met. We've been together for a year and a half now. We arrived at the cabin early, and when everyone else started to arrive, including the host of the cabin, he started to get very quiet and reserved. He doesn't usually like larger group settings,

but this was just a group of our 10 mutual friends that we've known for years. No one new or different. On Saturday morning, he said he wanted to take my car to go skiing on the mountain before everyone woke up. I thought that sounded like a great idea for him. He would get some exercise, do something he really enjoyed. He left early in the morning and said he would be back by 12 or 1. 12 p.m. turned into 1. 1 p.m. turned into 2. When I called him, it just kept going to voicemail. I started to get concerned, but I just tried to tell myself that he probably didn't have service on the mountain. Sure.

Once 4 p.m. hit, I started to get really worried, calling his phone, still not getting an answer. Finally, at around 4.30 to 5 p.m., I get a text message saying that he was home. He had gone skiing and decided he didn't want to come back. So he took my car and left me at the cabin. When I asked him how I was going to get home, he just told me that he had already contacted our friend, and he said he would do it. When I approached this friend, he said that my husband doesn't even have his phone number and definitely didn't contact him to ask. Yes, I was surrounded by friends and someone probably could drive me home, but it still felt really shitty to have been left behind with honestly no regard to how I would get home or how leaving me without even telling me the plan would make me feel.

If he didn't want to be there, he could have let me know. If he didn't want to come, he could have stayed home. but this made me feel abandoned and horrible, especially for the friend who invited us to the cabin, who I now had to tell that my husband just left me here for them to figure out what to do with me. God, it's mortifying. I'm just not sure what to do with this.

Oh. My friends think this is really shitty and somewhat out of character for him, but they are frustrated too because they invited him to join the celebration and he just left without staying and saying anything to anyone. I guess I'm just not sure what to do here or how to talk to him about this.

Whenever I try, he just shuts me down and walks away. How do I approach this? Simple, three words. Dump him, girl. Dump him, girl. That guy, A, is a piece of shit. B, is cheating on you. Okay.

Guaranteed. Why did my head go there too? 1,000%. The red flexor, it's written all over this, man. He leaves to go skiing alone on the mountain, disappears. Kent, you cannot contact him to 5 p.m. Doug goes a voicemail, voicemail. he is cheating on you.

Yeah, did he go skiing at all? No fucking way. I'm sorry. Okay, I'm usually the paranoid one where I'm like cheating. But you got there quick too. Absolutely. He's lying and cheating 1,000%. He saw the opportunity she can't possibly leave physically and also she's with her friends.

Also, let's say, let's give him the benefit of the doubt. He's not cheating on her? There's still no way that she'd be together. No one in their right minds. We left with this all the time in movies, right? where like someone gets him to fight and like one person goes storming off and like like like if I were a husband and my wife went storming off into the woods or blah blah blah there's no world in which I'm not following immediately or I would ever or there's no world to which I leave and

leave my wife no fucking way yeah like it's insane like it's so not realistic if somebody ever like it's so mortifying for her too god she's with her 10 closest friends in her circle and her boyfriend leaves her? What would she say? God, it's unforgivable. It's so embarrassing. I think it's also really weird that he's like, yeah, I texted the friend. He's going to take you.

And then they, he never even talked to him. Yeah. And then it's like, you're doubly embarrassing me because you're making me go talk to this person and they have no idea what I'm talking about. Yeah. Gosh. I'm just like, for what? We are, so listen, everybody, we're all fans of the show here. We're getting a group of people together.

We're going to beat the shit. get it to this guy, okay? We'll get, call it a, whatever you, like, we're gonna get, bring light weapons. We're not gonna hurt him badly. Just gonna fuck him up a little bit. Okay.

He needs, this is crazy. It's weird. So make sure you sign up here if you'd like to be part of this. I'm not gonna say the word gang. I'm not gonna say that word. No, just a group of friends, a posse.

A group of friends meeting up. To talk with someone. Yeah. Just sign up right there. There's the, the, it's, let's fuck this guy up at Gmail. is the address to join our group. I'm looking at the comments.

No one goes down the cheating rabbit hole with us. No. Oh gosh. Top comment. What the fuck? I would be furious if my partner ever pulled like this. Honestly, this is a horrible thing to do to your partner. He didn't communicate to you all day, abandoned you on a group trip,

lied to you about organizing your ride home. What a jerk. This is breakup territory for me, honestly. He was the only one that brought his skis, though, which is also a little, like you, I get people like, you know, peace and quiet and going out and doing something on their own,

but this was also a group celebration. Could you imagine, that's another one. Could you imagine any world in which you're with your girlfriend and the 10 in-row circle friends celebrating and you go off for a whole day? Well, he just left, but you're going away for half a day

to ski on your own? Is bad shit crazy? Left. and also like someone puts this in all caps and he took her car. I know. It's crazy. I mean, if he wanted to go like snow tubing, I'll give him that.

That's fun. Yeah, that's fun. I mean, skiing's fun too, but like, again, even if you have social anxiety and this is not your cup of tea, like, you should have stayed home or gone back and communicated to your partner

and I'm just not feeling good. I love you. Like, did he take all his stuff with him? Or does now she have to figure out how to get, herself home along with his shit. More proof that he didn't go skiing. They were in Atlanta. So there's just, there's no,

like, there's no skiing in Atlanta. She should have known, he's lying. I'm just so confused. There are a couple comments, the one mentioning that no one else brought their skis. He did choose to bring them with the intention of going skiing in the morning. I asked him not to because I wanted him to be present, but he said he would just go skiing and be back.

before everyone woke up, which also... You know how people sleep past 1 p.m. Yeah, that was literally took the words out of my mouth. The next, like, comment is the thing is, we hang out with these people all the time. When I say just 10 of our friends, it's because that truly is a small number when it comes to how large our friend group is

and how often 15 to 20 of us hang out. Birthdays, football watching parties, movie nights, you name it. And he usually comes to these events too, knowing full well what he's getting himself into before we go and who's going to be there. He's usually socializing with people that he's most comfortable with, leaning on them for support, including me. But this time, he just left without saying a word. Do you Irish exit is the phrase. I'm half Irish I can say it.

I don't think it's offensive. But do you Irish exit from parties ever? No, I have a really hard time with that. I do the Minnesota goodbye. Oh, what's that? You do an MGB? It's horrible. What is that?

It's horrible. You say bye to someone and then you're kind of awkwardly, like, still talking. And then you talk for another five minutes. And then you say bye again. And then you kind of like slowly move away and you're like, okay, well, you know, I'll see you. Maybe we should go get our nails. And then you keep talking again and then you come back together. And then okay, okay, bye.

And then you just, it's never ending. It's the worst. My whole family was that way. Okay. It made every family gathering the freaking worst. It would take an hour to get out of the event. Like you went to a family wedding or whatever. I'm not like that.

I've gone the opposite way. But also, on occasion, I've Irish exited my own party. Not on purpose, right? So like... So, like... Like a few years ago, my wife and I threw like a big Fourth of July party. And there's like a hundred people there in a yard, friends, family. It's a great time.

And so four or five years ago, I just disappeared like 8.30 p.m. No one can find... In your house? They start up... They start a backyard-wide search. in, you know, roving gangs of family members. Thinking, did you think you were kidnapped? Not knowing where I went. They can't find me.

Oh, my God. And they eventually track me to the, like the hockey players, to the closet in my, in our, in our bedroom, like the kidney. And there I am face down in the dog bed, passed out with the dog sleeping next to me on her bed. You just want to your puppy. That's at 8.30. And the party went until like 1.30 in the morning. And they picked me up, put me.

What time did the party start? 2.30? Day drinking's hard, though. I know. Like, as an adult, not a college-aged person. But I did not go skiing. No, you didn't leave. Like, you didn't abandon your wife.

Yeah, if there was skiing in San Francisco, I would have gone, but there's just no slopes. Yeah. I'm really curious what everyone thinks on this one. If anyone else is getting cheating vibes. It's fascinating that no one brings up cheating. I mean, come on, man. No further updates? No further updates.

Yeah, 17 days. The last comment from O.P., there's only three. And the last one is just like, I never dragged him along. I didn't make him suffer. All he had to do was like communicate with me and he wouldn't have had to go. I was just worried that he could have been hurt and not know where he was. It's just unsafe. Yeah, no.

Well, again, folks at home just remember to respond to that email address we put on screen and we'll contact you. we're interested in recruiting you for the gang. Yeah, I'm willing to travel. Honestly, like, maybe they're in Colorado or Utah. I'd go snowboard. Like, go find him and then go enjoy a little trip. Sounds like a good time. Bring some brass knuckles.

Let's do it. I'm loaded. I see that. I got the bling. Is that your wedding ring? Yeah. Beautiful. Yeah.

You went square, huh? Or like rectangle. What is that? I don't know. I'm not good with that. I forget. Oval? That one's oval.

Oval? And then this one's rectangle. rectangular emerald? Oh. So I'm ready. Yeah. I'm beefed up. Okay, one last one for you.

Did I ever tell you there's an episode of Joker's where they maybe swallow my own wedding ring? What? Yeah. I lost the episode. It aired like last season or two seasons ago. And we worked at like this high end brothel boutique in Long Island. And I was just, it was my punishment. And I had to help brides to be get fitted for their dress.

It was chaos, right? It was so embarrassing. And at the end of the punishment, they said, I had a plane to catch. I was on tour. I like my solo tour. I was on tour that weekend in, uh, in Florida. And so I was leaving set in Long Island to go right to JFK to catch a flight to West Palm Beach, running with luggage in hand, right?

And so the end of the punishment, they said, Mer will end your punishment if you do two things. First, we know you're going right to JFK to go to tour. Yeah. You have to wear a wedding dress the entire, uh, the entire flight to Florida. And I did. And this video of me from dozens of people in JFK Airport and on JetBlue,

in a full-blown wedding dressed the entirety of the flight. Second, they said, you can't leave this wedding that brought up d'rique until you swallow for real your own wedding band. And I did. And I got it back two days later. See, oh.

Having to go through your shit to find your wedding band. It won't. Yeah. No. Like, what do you do? I just don't know. I got the largest Dunkin' Donuts truck.

I'm sorry for the image I just put in everyone's A Dunkin' Donuts shirt The long ones are like a foot long They're like crazy And you just poked around Oh man We don't show that on TV

We just show the The first part Thank God Oh my God I got it back though You're gonna have to send me I cannot find you Just in the wedding

Swalls wedding ring maybe I don't know I'm sure it's there Oh my gosh On the episode Do they show you going through the airport They do The end of the episode is me

with my own cell phone going through JFK and getting on JetBlue. And of course, my seat happened to be the very first seat on the plane. Yeah, you had a nice bowlhead. The first seat. You had a lot of room for that dress. So 300 passengers have to walk right by me

looking at this idiot in a full wedding dress. Insane. I'm not finding it. I'll have to do some research and pull up the episode. I'm finding pictures of your wedding, though, and so pretty. Okay, I've got one last one for you.

Okay, let's do it. it. Me, with my husband, I discovered he hired an escort while I was in the hospital. Me, 29 female, with my husband, 32 male, I discovered he hired an escort while I was in the hospital. I'll make this as short as I can while adding relevant info. Me and my husband have been married for two years. We were together for two years before that. For the most part, it seemed like everything has been great. We both work a lot, but we made our relationship work. Over the summer, I was admitted to the hospital for surgery on my colon. Because of complications after my surgery, I was stuck in the hospital for over a month.

Oh my gosh. Once I got home, it took me some time to recover and get back to how I was physically before my surgery. During this time, we didn't really have much sex. I was in too much pain and I couldn't do too much physically, though I did try to satisfy him other ways. This was tough on both of us because we were both used to frequent sex. He did express his frustration more than once, but I thought we'd done a good job communicating and working through it. Just let him read like smut romance novels.

Turn to a book. We're back to our normal routine now, and I honestly thought the hospital bills were going to be more stressful on both of us than this. Well, Saturday night, my husband went out with one of our friends, Greg. Greg's wife, another one of our friends, just had a baby around Thanksgiving and was stuck in the hospital because the baby was born too early

and needed to be in the incubator. Greg had been really stressed lately, and so my husband took him out for a drink just to get out and de-stress. Uh-huh. Greg called me yesterday. Apparently, they got really drunk and started talking about how Greg

wouldn't be having sex for a while. And my husband said that he could always just hire an escort and that my husband did that when I was in the hospital. Greg just went along with it. But he did think he should tell me. Greg told her his friend's wife.

Holy shit! Keep going. I didn't really trust Greg at first and thought he might have misheard or was lying. Yeah, what's his motive here? But why would he even lie about that anyways? I went through all of our old credit card statements and financials, and I found a large cash withdrawal around that time that I was in the hospital. hospital. That still didn't mean much, so I asked my husband about it and lied and said I was getting stuff together to talk to a financial advisor. He said that he had to pay for a car repair in cash because our

card wasn't working, but it was working fine everywhere else. I just don't know what I believe, especially because we always use the same place for our car repairs and we've always used the same card for it. I could contact them, but I have no idea if they'd even remember. This is all just so confusing. I can't believe he would cheat on me like that. We were planning on trying for a baby soon, but I don't want to bring a pregnancy into this if he's cheating on me. I just don't know what to do from here. Oh, gosh, this is complicated. There's so much going on here. First of what the fuck's with Greg? I like Greg. I'm team Greg. You're team Greg? You're TG? Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Because if he's cheating on her. I'll tell you why I'm not team Greg. While she's in the hospital after getting her colon cut?

Don't say colon cut? She got colon surgery. Also, colon cancer awareness is in March or May. I keep forgetting. Have you got your colonoscopy yet? Are you ready for this? Are you ready? Have you gotten it?

I'm scheduled. I go next week. I'm not joking. Yay! Next week. We scheduled it last night because... This is so good. Yes.

But she didn't have colon cancer. What she probably had was diverticulitis. Okay. What it sounds like. That's the only thing that keeps you in the hospital after a colon surgery for a month. You're on it. So I would think that. I'm team Greg though

Here's why I don't think you should be team Craig Can I reframe it? Because what is Greg's motive motivation? He's a good guy. No, no, no, no, no, no, he's not. There's not. He's not a good guy.

You don't think he's a good guy? No fucking way. He is some motive that we don't know of here. What, you think he's trying to get with O.P.? I don't know what the motive is. Okay, but there's no world. If Greg is friends with the husband, I'm sorry, no guy would do it.

Which means that he has a motive. What's the motive? Greg, you may think he did the right thing, but he's not doing it for the right reasons. He's not doing for her. He's not doing it for their marriage. He's not he's not. There's some ulterior motive that we don't know. I can't guess. But what? It could be it could be a million things. It could be him wanting something over on his friend. It could be him wanting to fuck his friend's marriage over. It could be him hating her

and wanted to destroy their marriage. It could be he never liked their marriage and wants to tell her to fuck. I'm telling you, his motives are not pure in any way. So you might like the final message. You might like the final message. You might like the final message. but I promise you his motives we do not know and you should not trust at all. Anyways, back to the issue at hand. So the top comment says, man, Greg is a good guy. No, he's not. No, he's not. Please get an STI screening.

Lots of escorts are safe in their behaviors, but some aren't. And if your husband has done this once, there's no telling what else he might have done when given the opportunity. Please don't try for a baby. Having kids makes you very vulnerable, emotionally and physically and financially. if you can't trust this guy, it's a really bad road to take. So here's,

this is not about Greg ultimately, right? No. Whether you, where are you falling on the debate about Greg? I think Greg is a piece of shit. Not because he told her. That's not my problem. My problem is, my problem is you cannot trust this guy's moments.

Because why would, what's, he has no loyalty toward her. So what's his motive? I don't trust him. That's not the issue, though. If he was friends with her first, then I'm changing my opinion on him. But let's say that,

Neither here or there. The issue at hand is her husband and his behavior. Clearly, he got an escort. He's lying very clearly, right? I know. The car cash scenario. The problem is he did not expect the question. I know.

The point is this, he got caught in a surprise. He got caught in the lie. He's lying, right? So what does she do now? Yeah. That's the question. Yeah. Well, look.

Do you go to the garage? I wonder how he got the escort. Did he go to? or like a service, a strip club? Was it a, you know, like... I know, it depends on where they live. Like Nevada, you can go to the bunny houses or whatever they are.

Here's the problem. There's no going back when she confronts him on it, right? So she has to be... But you got to know, so you have to go forward. I know. You can't just like... You can't sit on this because if it is true... No, it's always going to undercut everything.

Yeah. O.P. does respond to that top comment. Yeah, I figured the baby thing needs to stop. I didn't even think about STIs. Thank you. I would have been even more vulnerable post-surgery too. Yeah. And someone responds to that.

Please believe Greg. He has nothing to gain from line to you. He's a good guy who's willing to put his social piece on the line in order to stand up for what is right. Oh, man. But it's not about Greg. It's about her and her choice here, right? Well, someone does respond to that comment and go, Greg. Greg, is that you?

Yeah. It does sound like Greg writing, okay? It really does. So her choice, look, their relationship cannot. move forward, cannot in any way, unless the air is cleared. It can. That's what comes down to. She's got no choice here. She must get to the bottom of it. And either he comes clean and then she can decide to move on or not. That's her choice. If I were her, I would not. But that's her choice. Yeah. It's their relationship. It's their life. Whatever. But she's got to clear the air and

either learn the truth or accept what he's saying as the truth. You can't, They're frozen in time. Yeah. They can be no forward progress. Would you go to the repair place first before confronting him? Because a lot of the comments do recommend contacting the repair place to try to verify it. I don't know, man. Like, how are you going to...

Do they have that intimate relationship with their repair shop that they're going to remember a transaction he made where there was cash or credit from four months? I don't know. Maybe. It's worth a shot. Like, it's really hard for me to... I like evidence. I like proof. Give me the receipts.

I hear you. But I just, I'll tell you what, like a somewhat comparable scenario. Like I do those like, you know, cameo videos, right? Oh my gosh. And it's a very busy week. It's Valentine's Day. So it's, I'm sure for everyone on cameo, it's a very busy week where you record a lot of messages, hey, you'd be my Valentine, all that kind of stuff.

Stop. But I turned down a request last night of a, that was just too. I'm kind of scared. It was too specific. And I turn these down. I get them maybe once or twice a year. Okay. that somebody's like, my girlfriend broke up with me.

Will you please? It's Valentine's Day. implore to come back to me. And I always turn down because it's too personal. That's weird. I don't know why you broke up. I don't know what your scenario is. I don't know if you were abusive to each other.

I have no idea. That's actually really smart that you turn those down. And I say, so sorry, I like to keep things professional. I don't do it. Right. And so this situation, if she goes to the mechanic shop, I don't know, man. It's really hard to say. If I were a mechanic, first of all, I would be like, hey,

I would see right through it immediately. Yeah. I have no. You're actually about a transaction I made six months ago. I have no idea in the slams. I would stay away from the drama at all costs. And it's hard to because like if the mechanic doesn't remember him and then it's like never saw him, but he actually did do it and is telling the truth.

Then it's like that's another stick in your pot. She's got to go to the only way. I understand what she might want to and why people would say go to the mechanic just get more evidence before you confront your husband. Because there is no going back. Once that is out there, it's out there. And if, if, let's say, giving him the benefit of doubt, he did not cheat on her. Yeah. He will never forget the accusation.

And likewise, if she doesn't bring it up, she'll never forget. God, it's a fucked up situation. I know. Once that trust is broken. There's no answer here. There's no answer. The only answer is to buy a good smut porn book and enjoy it on a beach. Or buy a fish tank.

There is an answer. What is it? We get an update. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm so excited. I know. Can I predict?

Mm-hmm. I haven't read it fully. I'm like scanning. I predict she did. I'm sweating. I predict she did not go to the mechanic. I predict she eventually boiled up inside of her so much that she did confront him on it. And I predict that he did come clean. And whether they lasted, I can't predict that. Hi, everyone. I was going to update this last night. But then I got drunk and forgot. Thank you all for the wonderful replies. I was so overwhelmed. I stopped responding. I thought I should have some questions and concerns before moving on to the update. For those of you talking about brocode, it wouldn't apply here. Greg and Emily were my friends before I even met my husband. Okay, now you're adding a very, forget everything I said about Greg. Greg's awesome. I didn't know that very.

Greg's a good guy. Okay, Greg's a good guy. I knew them both in college. I was actually a bridesmaid at their wedding, and I'm the godmother of their newest baby. Oh, gosh. Okay, well, now you're reframing things. Guys, are we team Greg? So anybody that sends an email to that address, I said, to beat the shit of food. Greg's not as part of that.

Mark Greg, safe. Okay. And the reason I didn't go out for drinks with them was because I was watching their two other children. So it would be like brocode if Greg didn't kind of tell me. Yeah. Like, because they're bros. Got it. They're bros.

They're male-female bros. Yeah. I got it. On to the actual update. Oh, boy. I stopped by the car repair place. Okay. We always go to.

And the one that he said he used when I was in the hospital. How does his car breaking down? They're going all the time. They had no record of working on our car at that time, not even a tire change or an oil change. Oh, he got his tires rotated all right. Or an axle adjustment, nothing. So my husband was definitely lying about it

because they said at that price, they'd always have some sort of record. They don't remember working on a stick shift? Nope. No. I went to confront him the other night. Oh, gosh. Long story short.

He didn't deny any of it. He wasn't sorry about it either. He fessed up to hiring the escort and to having sex with her. He said it wasn't cheating because it was a service. Not like he fell in love with the other woman. Kind of like Spotify. It's a service. It's a service.

You pay your membership. Yeah, sure. Yeah, it's a service. You know, it's like going through the Dunkin' Donuts window. It's a service they brought you serve your donuts. It was just sex to him. I also asked him about STIs, and he said he didn't even think of it. So off to go get tested, I go because of my husband's stupidity and cheating.

What is it, STI? Sexually transmitted infection. STD. Is a combination like UTI and STD? They, like, kind of changed it because disease implies, like, chronic. And so infection can be treated. Got it. So there's, like, some politically correct changes in that.

STI, got it. Yeah. And he didn't even think about it. Of course you didn't think about it. I didn't think about it. I should say my future ex-husband, though. I cannot trust him and the fact that he didn't think he did anything wrong. That disgusts me.

Once he knew that I knew, he wasn't even defensive anymore. He wasn't sad or angry. He just seemed like he didn't even care. Oh. Like he was apathetic about our whole marriage. Everything I thought I knew about him was wrong. And I'm trying to figure out how he tricked me so well. Wow.

I called a divorce lawyer. And I'm currently staying in our guest room because I don't even want to look at him. I'm going to see the lawyer next Wednesday and figure out where to go from here. Oh, also, I got Greg a thank you gift. He's now subscribed to meat of the month for a whole year. Which is so funny. That's so funny to me. Thanks for all your support through this, guys. Sure. My life fell apart. So as a result, to thank my friend, I got him meats. Here's some meat. I got him 12 months of T-bone.

Here's some meat. Which is so funny to me. Me. So good for her. Insane. God, she found out. I'm telling you, we should change the name of the podcast to dump him, girl. That's like 90% of it, man. Is that the episode title today?

Yeah, I think so. Dump him, girl? Enough. Thank God. I know. She dodged the biggest bullet on the planet. Because once you're married, once the kids, forget it. Everything is harder.

No, thank God for Greg. Team Greg. Thank you. Thank you. God, Greg. Thank you. Make sure you send an email to we love Greg at gmail.com.

We're going to buy Greg more meat. Yeah. I know. Well, this is from 2015. So he ran out of meat years ago. He probably would like more. Greg needs more meat. He needs more meat.

Let's start to go fund me for Greg's meat. That sounds weird. I like that. I like that. Thank you so, so much for coming on. You mentioned you have a movie coming out. I do. Don't move as a horror movie

starring T. Paine, Rob Riggle, Lizzie Fonseca, Russ the rapper, Cues in the movie. It comes out in theaters. This fall, September, you'll hear all about it real soon, including the trailer coming out on YouTube. The movie is very, very scary and very funny as well. Romance, sci-fi book coming soon.

Possibly. You get it in my books. My latest book is You Better Watch Out, a serial killer. Brand new episodes and Bradford Joker's on every Thursday night on TBS. We go back to filming in just a few weeks on another season. I'm so very excited. I want to walk through. Love you all.

Check out my wife's candle company. Yes, the candles are insane. The Citronella one. Go to 95candles.com. Her candles are unbelievable. The hot cocoa one. All of them. And I'm going to have to put a picture

of the little candles so everyone can see. And then, of course, please send an email so we can start that GoFundMe for Greg's meet. Yeah, we're going to need some funds for the meat. All of Merr's links will be in the description. Melissa's candle link will be there as well. Until next time, guys. Bye.

Bye, everybody. Okay, you ready for the little birthday treat I've got? I'm pulling a couple stories from the Patreon Vault. Give you guys a little sneak peek what we've been doing over there. And if you want more, come on over. I just did a bonus episode with Lauren. Yes, Lauren is still around. Our schedules just have not been lining up. She's a busy working gal. But rest assured, she will be back. And until then, enjoy these bonus stories. Okay, up first. This is coming from True Off My Chess. 28 days old now. I've been sitting on it for a while because it's just so good. Money. It's titled, I'm watching my stepmom become the loser. She always told me I'd become. And it's

amazing. So I was a mistake. My mom and dad were dumb idiots. Mom mostly raised me because my dad tried blocking her. After a while, he was in my life and paid child support. He got married and had two more kids, the right way, and my stepmom Hildy never let it go how much better she was than me. How she and her kids had clothes from nice stores and not Walmart, and how they just didn't have time to include me in the Christmas card picture. Plus, I wouldn't have had a nice enough outfit, so, oh well. One of their kids, my brother, came out as trans a bit ago, and Hildy seemed very supportive. Apparently not. She's been drinking a lot and gaining weight. She lost her job, and I found out because she called me ranting in the middle of the day and saying that she lost her daughter

and, like, I should have transitioned instead of him, question mark. It was so bizarre, and I told my dad that he needed to deal with it. He tried telling me that he wanted her to get therapy, but honestly, I don't care. I don't want her to ruin my brother's lives. Apparently, she picked one of them up from school and smelled like wine. She has been so horrible to me my entire life that I've known her, most of it, and I don't care that she's unhappy. I have enjoyed watching her burn out. Yes, I feel bad for my brothers,

but this woman treated a literal child like trash because she hated my mom. She came to my bridal shower wearing a white dress that she couldn't even zip up the whole way. when people mentioned it, I just shook my head and ignored it. Like she would do, when people would point out that my jeans were too short that one time. And in front of everyone, she said that she refused to spend their family's money on clothes for me since my dad paid child support. Whatever, I don't care. She deserves her life.

And my dad deserves his marriage. And I'm clearly not a good person for laughing at all of this. So I guess I retroactively deserve my childhood. The only victims are my brothers. The end? The end. I'm with you. I don't think you retroactively deserved your childhood, but man, this is satisfying.

I'm all for it. I feel bad. I want a front row seat. Where's my ticket? I think it's just so different. When you're awful to a child, it's unforgivable. So I'm with you. It's not an adult making a decision.

to be like that towards another adult. No. It's like that towards a child. Kids are defenseless. Kids are trying to learn how to, you know, survive. Go about the world and who they're going to become. And it's like you're so fragile and impressionable.

So any of that stuff, that sticks with you for a lifetime. I remember some stuff that, I mean, it's more often other kids in a bullying way. I remember everything that's been said to me growing up, and I remember all the insecurities I had. And sure, you know, you outgrow some of them. Some you carry forward for sure. And I just can't imagine getting that from an adult. So yeah, I agree.

She deserves every bit of it. And I'd be there eating my popcorn, watching it go down. I don't have sympathy for that after the shit you did to me. No way. I know. But yes, for the brothers. Of course. I don't want them to be in that situation because if she fully crashes out,

then that's going to affect them and it's only going to get taken out on them. And yes, we don't want that. I know because there's no mention even how old the brothers are. Yeah. No mention of age. And it's like, if they're young, like, that's even harder to have your mom not support you as you are transitioning and doing all of that. I'm trying to look at O.P.'s comments just to see if there's any more insight into this. Yeah.

We do have a few comments from O.P. There's a whole other post I discovered that came out a couple of months before this one. We're going to get into that now briefly. But someone says to O.P., your dad is a piece of shit for not standing up for you, not including you, not buying you a nice outfit for the pictures, and allowing her bullshit white dress at your wedding. Fuck your dad. and fuck her. Yeah. O.P. says, no, my dad is a pillar of the community. According to what Hildy told my mother-in-law,

pillar of the deadbeat community, sure. Yeah. Uh-huh. They're so insane. Like, they really do deserve each other. He is such a piece of shit. Anyone that's willing to throw their kid under the bus for the sake of a new partner and a new family and a do-over, fuck you, rotten hell, you're a piece of shit.

I think is pathetic and all of this has clearly impacted O.P. I mean, the first line starts with so I was a mistake. My mom and dad were dumb idiots. They might have been dumb. They might have been being irresponsible. You might have been an oops baby, an unplanned baby, but you are not a mistake. Like, I hate when people like associate themselves with that because like I really relate to that. Like I was a total oops baby. Very unplanned. But like I remember just like that pain of just like the struggle with my bio-dad. And so it's hard, but like, you are still not a mistake. I just like, I feel bad for O.P. But we do have a couple more comments. O.P. says, the worst part is that she hates my mom so much. And my mom isn't perfect by any measure

because of the whole child support thing. When I found out that Hildy had apparently asked my mom not to go for a CS increase because they were going to have a baby and, things were tight. In retrospect, that was not my mom's problem. She only went for the increase when Hildie kicked me out of my room. She couldn't be a stay-at-home mom because of the child support apparently. All she had to do was treat me like a family member, and it would have been fine. She's been stepping on rakes for decades. I love that saying. She's been stepping on rakes. I've never heard stepping on rakes before. It's like you are creating your own issues, and can't you just envision, old cartoons of someone, they step their foot on a rake and it comes back and smacks them in the

face. I mean, I've done it. I don't have to envision the cartoon. It's happened to me with those rakes at the farm, those are the kind that do it. It's those sharp twisted metal ones. Yeah, those old timey rakes. I mean, I think someone that makes all these comments and treats someone this way has always been deeply unhappy.

And it's now just really coming to the surface. About like the Hildy, the stepmom? being like unhappy. Yeah. And I think the whole time with the comments she was making to O.P. And all of us

the way she treated her growing up and then even her dad, I just can't see them being happy people and having a happy life together. I think it's all just pretend. And it's, oh, we're keeping it all together and we're perfect.

We buy the nice clothes and you have shit clothes. When you start comparing yourself and making yourself trying to seem like you're better, I think it's because you're so deeply unsatisfied with your life and you're so unhappy. Because if you are a truly happy content person, you would not even think that way. I mean, I guess there are some assholes out there that probably do.

But in this story, I really don't think there's ever been true happiness there. No. It's been faulted from the beginning. Yeah, I mean, someone responds to that comment, the one that ends with, she's been stepping on rakes for decades. And they go, how can she claim to not be trashy,

but does an incredibly trashy thing by asking to pay less child support? I feel like that is something someone from a low-class upbringing would think was appropriate. OPE responds, she came from a pretty trashy family, to be honest. It was just projection. There you go. Someone goes, you are far better than that woman.

It is okay to laugh. Things would not be better from holding back. anyone treating a child like that because they think they are better than, jealous of past partner or whatever, deserves all bad things. Of course, it sucks for your siblings, still happy she's struggling, just got to support your brother because that is the mom, awful, awful person. O.P. responds, it's bad because I don't feel super responsible for my brothers. Obviously, I'm there for them, but at least they have my dad and he should be the one looking out for them. My mom was kind of a mess, and I didn't have a dad looking out for me.

He was too busy with other stuff. They know they can always call me, and I'll be there, but I'm not going to pry. Yeah. And I think that's totally fair, especially, like, your dad dropped the ball on you. You were kind of not an outlier, but you were, like, ostracized. You were pushed out. He didn't have your back. So, yeah, your brothers are innocent and all this.

And you can say, like, I'm here for you if you need it, but you don't have to bend over backwards or light yourself on fire to keep them warm. Like your dad, those are his kids and he made it clear that he has priorities to those children and not you. So I get where O.P's at with this. It's really just a good off my chest getting this out there, venting and feeling a little better. Yeah. The other post on OPE's account that I can see is a post about their wedding. It is four months old, titled, Am I the Asshole for Not Telling My Dad that He Wouldn't Be Walking Me Down the Isle. And it's a pretty long post. Essentially, 25-ish years ago, two dumb 20-year-olds got drunk and made me. They had and still have nothing in common. Don't particularly like one

another, but for some reason decided to keep me. I always lived with my mom full time. I love her. Don't get me wrong, but she's pretty messy. I have six other half-siblings. Two of them have the same dad. We always had a clean place to live and never went hungry or anything, but I know there were times that she did so we wouldn't. Mom very clearly loves all of us individually and as her family. She's just pretty irresponsible. My dad, I'd say, more has his shit together, but we're not close. He married Hildy, also mid-forties, when I was six-ish, and they had my half-brothers Jesse 16 and Kyle, 14, a few years later. They both have really good jobs at a nice house and cars. I know my dad paid child support, but their lives were very different from mine.

I'd come over every other weekend, but after a while, they were too busy with the other two, so I would just wait for my dad to text me when he was available. He did. Don't get me wrong, but he works a lot, so I probably saw him once a month before I went to college. And after, we'd talk every now and then, but mainly just see each other on the holidays. One of those holidays, Hildie got kind of drunk and told me that after my mom had me, my dad basically blocked her. and just paid child support until his parents, grandma and grandpa, basically shamed him for being a deadbeat. And then he got some visitation.

That hurt a lot to hear, but it made a lot of my childhood make sense. It all came up because she was resentful that he had to pay my mom child support until I was 21 and was saying she had wished I'd skipped college. It's also sad because I know she was busy with her kids, but I always thought she at least liked me. Like, I know she hates my mom because it was maybe petty, but when she had Jessie, they replaced my room at their house with the nursery and put my stuff in another one.

So my mom filed and was awarded much more child support than she had been getting, and that affected them. It's fine. There's free therapy at college, and I'm actually doing great career and mental health-wise now. In fact, my fiancé and I make about as much as they do, granted less property. So I'm in a really good place. O.P. goes on to talk about their fiancé, John 25, They became friends freshman year, didn't start dating until years ago. His family is amazing. All amazing things.

They've been good about setting up boundaries with mom. So they're getting married soon. It'll be in John's hometown. And this is where drama starts coming up, obviously, because Bio Dad. Biodad wants to know. Am I walking you down the aisle? I just went through this. Ugh.

His family, and to be honest, want a big wedding. but since we're just starting our careers out, his parents are paying for the whole thing, I'm paying for my dress, though, and my mom and my younger siblings travel. I kind of just assumed my dad would walk me down the aisle, but a few weeks ago at one of my showers, Hildy was talking with John's mom,

who was saying how proud they must have been that I paid my own way through college. Hildy was like, oh yeah, it looked really hard. We're glad that we started saving towards our son's college funds a long time ago. They have more than enough for undergrad, and probably grad school. I overheard this and confirmed, with John's mom what she said. It hurt so bad. College was a struggle. There were times all I had

were multivitamins and PBNJs and only because my mom would send me $20 here and there. Don't get me wrong. I'm also proud of myself. And I know the boys are both their kids while I'm just my dad's, so of course they'll give them more. But it really solidified to me who and what I was to them. So I asked my brother Jake to walk me down the aisle. John and his family know about this and 100% support me. called me yesterday asking about the rehearsal dinner, where they'd need to be and when, and I told her they wouldn't need to be at the church or anything and could just go to the restaurant after. She was like, oh, well, how will your dad practice walking down the aisle? It was super awkward, and I let her know Jake would be, but I was excited to see them.

A few hours later, my dad came to our condo and told me how disappointed he was. He said he's been dreaming of giving me away my whole life. I was in a pretty good headspace, luckily, and I was just like, oh, I didn't know you you'd want to, and I didn't expect you to care, trying to be nonchalant and avoid drama. He was aggressive, though, and wouldn't let it go, saying I was going to make him look like an idiot, and if Hildy hadn't asked, he would have shown up thinking he'd walk me down the aisle. I asked him why he would assume that, and he looked at me like I was stupid. But I wanted to hear him say it, and he finally said that any father would expect that.

I was just like, sure, but any other father probably didn't ignore their daughter. for the first few months of their life, have as minimal custody as possible, or have college funds for some of their kids, but not others. They probably did do things like take their daughters on vacations, attend a single father-daughter event, and help them out, even though they were legally done. He got mad, but honestly, couldn't even argue with me,

and just said he wasn't sure if he approved of this marriage anymore. I told him I wasn't worried about that, and the truth was that we just simply weren't important people to one another. He got really sad after that and left. And even though John agrees with my decision, he said I should have given my dad the heads up about what I wanted from him at the wedding. As much as I value his opinion, I also feel like he doesn't get it. His family loves him and would do anything for him and has, while my dad has only ever done the bare legal minimum when I needed him. I never assumed he would help me, and he shouldn't assume he can play a role in my wedding.

And no, I'm not the asshole for having my brother walk me down the aisle. That's no debate. But was I wrong for not directly spelling out for my dad that he would be attending as a guest and only a guest? No, I think you're meeting his communication style your whole life with the same energy. Yeah. And also I can't believe that horrid woman's going to be there. That's what I would have set in stone long ago. The last thing I'd want to see is her city.

there and she'll probably wear white. She did. She did wear white. Oh, that was to the wedding? It was the, I think O.P., what did she say? Was it reception or rehearsal? We do get an update on this, actually. I thought that was like a bridal party or like a, I thought that was some, something else. But yeah, I'm not surprised. And just with the comment about the college thing, you don't think she's going to be doing all that shit that whole night to all your people? Oh, she absolutely will. Like Hildy is a self-centered, I mean, to brag about your two kids and their college funds as like your stepdaughter's mother-in-law is like, aren't you so proud she paid for school on her own? It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great. We have so much fucking money. We are two boys get to go to college and grad school. That's how much we have saved. And it's like, whoa. read the room. Read the room.

She can't because it's all about her. She's a self-centered bitch. Yeah. And then I think the way you played it with your dad is perfect. I honestly, I would have thought you had like a script or notes written to do it that clear. I know. And that plane.

And on the spot when it's so stressful. Especially when he's kind of pushing it and getting really, you know, aggressive as she says. I know. I think you did great. I know. And then it ended up getting through because when you make such a strong case and it's not like you were yelling, at least I didn't take it that way, and you just said exactly why, here's why. And there's no response.

Great job. Great job. And then the statement, we're just not important to each other. I know. It's like. That's tough. But it's hopefully a wake up call for him. But do you know why it's tough?

Because he knows it's true. Oh, absolutely. 100% the whole time. I think I still really feel bad for O.P., like, from the first post to this post, it's just like the pain she's gone through. And like, honestly, I feel like this is like another multiverse version of me in my life. Like, my bio dad, they're fit about child support. Like, my mom didn't get it a lot of times.

I kept getting it throughout college because he was so late on the payments from when I was under 18. And, like, it was so crazy. Like, he would brag about, like, not having any money. money and it was all like a front like he would get paid in cash he'd a shit ton of money he'd buy new trucks he'd buy new this buy new that and then wouldn't be able to pay my mom child support like and he'd brag about it to my face and it's like okay but i'm envious of ophp like i think this was handled really really well should you have told him before yeah but like hildy kind of took that away from you based on like hildy getting involved

and asking. Well, and Hildy definitely was like, you need to go over there right now and you need to get this set. Like, she's puppeteering the whole thing. I know, but I'm glad for OPE that it came out before because it did not come out before at our wedding. Like, I wanted to talk about it with my bio dad

at the rehearsal dinner. He didn't show up to the rehearsal dinner. So I didn't get that opportunity. And he RSVPed yes to the rehearsal dinner. And then when I talked to him about it at the wedding, he was like, oh, I didn't know, I didn't know about it. And I'm like, you R-Sv-Ped, yes. And then my brother Matt, who's our officiant, like, my BOWDAD standing there.

Everyone's, like, standing there. And Matt is like, who's walking down the aisle? And I look at my brother, and I'm just like... So I had both my Biodad and my dad, Jerry, walk me down the aisle, and then they got halfway, and then my mom, we did a trade-off. Everyone thought it was beautiful. Like, I had some friends that came up to my mom after and were like, I was crying. It was so impactful.

But, like, it's not what I wanted. that is an honor. And like, if you don't deserve that honor, you shouldn't get that honor. So I'm glad, O.P., stuck to their guns, didn't have him walk her down the aisle. And it still, still stayed that way. Looking at the update, everything went okay at the wedding. Dad ended up writing an email. O.P.'s like, I'm not going to post it because it's super lame. And it was just some old, song of poor him, his life is so hard, he wasn't ready to be a dad, he did the best he could, he always loved me, blah, blah, blah, no action items, no probably false promises to change, nothing new.

No, he didn't offer any money for the wedding, but reiterated a lot that he's always dreamed of walking me down the aisle. Yet you're not pitching in. But you have so much money in these college funds. But yeah, second update did not come after the wedding. So we went from wedding post, update, which wasn't really an update, just dad sends an email but still sticking with brother. And then the stepmom becoming a loser post. So no other post yet. There are a lot of comments

from O.P. Like if you guys want to do a big deep dive on this account, you totally can. I mean, it's really interesting. It sounds like she's in a really good spot. Some of the comments are rude, but very active on Reddit. I mean, we're applying to a lot of other people's posts and accounts and things like that. Okay. Yeah. But moving on to this next one.

It's kind of a dozy of a first story. Okay. And we're back. We're back. I feel like this is going to be an interesting palette cleanser. It's not necessarily a feel-good, like super happy palette cleanser. Okay. But it's just kind of a different perspective that I don't think we usually get on a lot of our posts about cheating.

Okay. So let's get into it. All right. It's coming from True Off My Chest and it's titled, I'm going to have to break my husband's mistress's heart and I don't want to do it. My husband is having an affair. I found out eight months ago when a text from Henry said, I love you, heart, heart. I managed to sync his text up to our eye cloud and have been monitoring them ever since.

Even worse, his mistress is also a victim in this. She has no idea that he's married. He told her that he's separated from me and we're going through the divorce process. To his credit, he doesn't badmouth me as the horrible ex-wife that makes him miserable. He doesn't talk about me at all. I also think that's because the evil ex-wife is a classic love. from a cheating husband, and she's smart enough to see through that. I know that usually the wife hates the mistress or at least resents her, but I can't hate her.

I love her so much. She has no idea that my husband is a loser, and she's such a sweetheart who deserves the entire world. She sends pictures of the holiday cards that she makes for the people in the local news. nursing homes because the holidays can be such a lonely time for them. She texts him little love poems. When he says that he's stressed, she asks about his day. She's so smart too. Whenever she talks about something that she's interested in, it's like a YouTube deep dive, only in text instead. My husband loves the deadliest catch. She explained to him why the FV destination sank. It was fascinating. She's also said how happy she was

that the tragedy was taken seriously enough to make stricter rules about safety regulations to keep fishermen safe. My loser of a husband doesn't deserve to even breathe in her direction. I know that I need to confront him and tell him that I want a divorce. I've been putting it off.

He wouldn't be man enough to face her, so it would be up to me to break her heart for him by giving her the bad news. I don't want to be the one who makes her cry. I just hope that she knows that even though she lost a cheating boyfriend, she'll have a friend in me. Aww. I don't want her to feel embarrassed or ashamed for something that was done to her and not because of her. That's what I'm dreading the most about the upcoming shitstorm. Wow. Uh-huh. That's so cute. I love her. I'm like, are you, I think you're in love with her.

Like, why? Are you, are you by? Like, could this maybe work? Is she by? You know what? It probably was just the fact that, like, she started realizing that her husband was not the one for her. She probably started falling out of love with him by the time that she found the affair. So she probably looked at it more, like, pragmatic and more objective than anything.

Because otherwise, like, I don't know how somebody gets out of their own way enough to be able to be like, I love. his mistress. I know. I'm blown away by like this level of composure and like self-awareness and insight. Like I would not be able to hold on to knowing about my husband's affair for eight months. I know that is a long amount of time. That's kind of crazy actually. Well, that's where I'm like, are you holding on as long as you are because you actually feel like you have a relationship with her too through these messages? Wow. Like you say, say you love her, you talk about how smart she is, how she deserves so much more. Like, you're putting this off because you almost have this parasycial relationship with her.

Maybe. And she doesn't even know who you are. When we look at it that way, that feels kind of creepy. I know. This is what I'm like, wait, what? I thought it was really cute. But then when I thought about the time, that's a long time. Also, you're letting them date.

Like, now they've been dating a year. year. Now it's getting like longer and more serious and her feelings are more intense where like, hey, if you would have nipped it in the bud eight months ago. Then you wouldn't have hurt her. You would have hurt her less. You would have heard her less like you're worried about now. So it's just really interesting. And you'd think at some point before the eight months, maybe six months, maybe four months, maybe two months. I don't know. Like why did it take eight months? Eight months. Huh. I know. Isn't that a doozy? What, do we have any updates or anything? Oh no. Oh no. No, no, no, no, no, no. I really thought you were to give me an update on this one. Nope. The post has been deleted by the person who posted it. Stop. Don't talk to me anymore. Top comment. Make sure you have proof that you two are still married and living together. She may go to denial first. Best of luck, O.P. Next comment. Exactly this. There's still a chance. She may forgive him and stay with him. So it is worth being ready for.

for that possibility as well. Next, comment down, it isn't her job to prove anything to her. Nothing but I'm Bozo's wife and I just found out he has been seeing you. I'm not mad at you. I know he lied to you and said we weren't together anymore.

Well, I'm about to file for divorce now, so if you still want him, he's all yours. But I thought you had a right to know what kind of man he is. I believe you deserve better. It's the other woman's job to decide what to do with that information. There is zero reason to put any effort

into proving anything. OP has enough on her plate right now. Yeah. O.P., go see a lawyer and get your ducks in a row before you tip your hand. Yeah. Ooh. Um, one comment goes, she sounds like a lovely person. That's sort of a catch-22 problem. People see the world through their own filters. She is a good person at heart and so thinks others are. Even your slimy soon-to-be X. I originally found this on an Instagram sub-reddit, Instagram page. Oh my God. Spooky stars. Y.T. YouTube. I don't know what it stands for. Y.T. but that's the Instagram page. And on the comments on there, someone goes, cut the husband out of the equation and marry his mistress.

There's another comment. Finally, a woman who blames the husband and not the other woman. Both women sound lovely and I hope they move on from this. What a badass the O.P is. Amazing. Well, that was my initial thought before you talked about the- Don't let me influence you. Don't let me. Don't worry about it. I mean, don't worry about it. You brought up the eight months and now it's hard to not wonder.

But, you know, maybe she was saving money. Maybe she's a stay-at-home mom and needed to pool some resources and, you know, get her eggs in a basket. Maybe, you know, there's medical things and she needed his health insurance because of work. We don't know. That's true. There's so many reasons. But it was just very. very impressive to me that she did wait eight months because I would go crazy.

And like, are you still romantic, though? You would have to be. Yeah. Otherwise, he's going to be like, what's up? Or he doesn't notice because he's getting it elsewhere. And then he's just like, oh, well, we had a dead bedroom anyways. Yeah. I know.

So interesting. Very interesting. Okay. If you want more of that, I'll see you over on Patreon. Other than that, until next time. Bye.