Two Hot Takes - 267: Relationship PROBLEMS!

Episode Date: May 7, 2026

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Justin! We're getting into some domestic conflicts, couple conundrums, and complex relationship problems! From morning showers vs night showers, to an OP whose partner wont stop breaking her special tea set, to a OP whose partner is holding on to her past, to a woman who can't taste CHEESE! Can't wait to hear your takes on these ones! Partners: State Farm: Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with the Personal Price Plan®. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there®. Credit Karma: This episode is brought to you by Intuit Credit Karma. Karma you can count on. What brands are you into lately :) help a girl out with a 2 question survey: https://forms.gle/UxWw3RxGAPRoiYRg8 Patreon BONUS Content including FREE stories: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ NEW MERCH:  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://shop.twohottakes.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ WRITE IN TO US!! Our SubReddit! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/⁠⁠ Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Index: 00:00 -- Start Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How you doing over there? Doing good. Okay. Okay, okay. Here we go. Wow. Was last week not fun. Hi, guys.

Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan. I'm Justin. And last week, episode was a wee bit late because I ended up in the hospital. I ended up getting admitted to the hospital for colitis slash systemic. inflammatory response syndrome, they're unclear. But the good news is I now have my colonoscopy under my belt and I am one less five millimeter polyp. They removed a five millimeter polyp. Yeah. And we're that much closer to sorting my stomach issues and figuring out what is going on there.

But wow, I've just been so under the weather and like still not feeling right. And they put me on two antibiotics. I've got like Cypro and Flajol and I'm having a weird reaction to these antibiotics. And if you've ever experienced this, please let me know because I called the doctor today and was like telling him what I was experiencing. And I then called my sister-in-law and told her what I was experiencing because she's a PA. And both of them were like, I've never really heard of that reaction from those antibiotics. Like both. The doctor was like, yeah, I don't know. You should still keep taking them, though. Essentially, the reaction is like, I take these antibiotics and they're making me feel high. Like, I've had multiple different gummies and I feel so high and like massive amounts of anxiety

to the point where I was like, I obviously haven't taken anything because I'm sick. And I'm like, what if there's a gas? Like, we slept with our window open because I was, having so much anxiety from this feeling. So if you ever experienced that or if you're a pharmacist and you're like, hey, because my doctor doesn't know and it's just crazy. Yeah. Yeah. It's a good summary. But you, yeah, Justin went through it to staying at the hospital with me until like 3 a.m. going home, not sleeping, coming back in the morning. It was a lot. You don't sleep in the hospital. I had people coming in and like changing trash bags violently at 6 a.m. You take for granted your health, like even with the issues I have.

Like I'm like, oh my God, I'm not going to take my stomach issues for granted anymore because being in the hospital is really, really tough. Yeah. It becomes like obviously you can technically leave, but it's like you lose your freedom. But you lose your freedom not to the hospital. You lose it to your health. Yeah. And so, you know, the message still. It's like a really good way to describe chronic illness and what people with like really, really.

chronic conditions deal with. Yeah. And then the other side of that is then when you aren't in times of bad health, it's not so much that you have to do this. It's that you get to do this. Even things that aren't fun, even going to work for the day. Well, in perspective, it's a pretty good day. I know. Because you can go to work. You are able to go to work. I had a phlebotomist come in my room at 4.30, 5 a.m., something like that. And I was like, yay, because I was like hoping my blood work would come back and my white cells would be down and they discharged me. I was like, yay, oh my God, I've been waiting for you. And he's like, really?

You want to go back to work? And I'm like, rather than be here, yeah. Yeah, I love what I do. It's a privilege. But this serves as still a great reminder to always be checking. in on yourself, taking care of yourself, looking after your own health, because no one's going to come knocking, saying, hey, make sure you do this, make sure you do that. So we got to stay on top of it because it's scary when it becomes too late. Absolutely. And speaking of

health, mental health, anyone else feeling a little brain fried right now just with the state of things, overwhelmed, feeling like you can't make a difference, feeling crazy? To give you guys an example where I'm like at a crossroads life morally in my head again brain fried Google is putting a data center or trying to put a data center in my hometown of Hermantown. No one wants a data center in the community and I don't want the data center in my community but yet I host my podcast on YouTube which is owned by Google. I'm like where where do we go? What do we do? And I'm like, does that make me hypocritical? I don't want the data center but then I post on YouTube. I'm like, oh my God, what do we do?

How do you keep up? How do you keep up with where you can shop? And I'm just like, oh my God, I feel brain fried. I'm just like, I don't know what's going on. So all that to be said, I need a nice distraction today to disengage from the world. So if you're still with me, thank you. Anything else to add? No, we should get to it.

Okay. Let's dive in. This episode is presented by State Farm. After five years of this podcast, we can say one thing for certain. A smart move can change everything. Going from cheesy TV roles to brooding blockbuster main characters, smart move. Another smart move? Getting help from one of State Farm's 19,000 local agents when you choose to bundle home and auto.

Bundling. Just another way to save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on ratings plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state. Okay, we ready? Yeah. Okay. Let's get into these ones. Up first for us here. Did I introduce a theme?

No. Well, well, we are coming at you with a lot of relationship problems, all caps problems, domestic issues, brain frat, kind of just all across the board. So you're going to like these ones. Up first for us here. Yep. This is coming from our slash relationship advice. Two months old, titled I, 28 female night shower. Boyfriend, 29 male, morning showers. How do we compromise?

Sounds good right now as it is. Ew. Oh, because you want to shower together? You'll see. Oh, that's what, yeah. Hi, looking for some creative solutions to this scenario. Thank you in advance for reading and helping us. out. Boyfriend and I have been dating for three years and are finally moving in together. As the title

suggests, I am a night showerer and my boyfriend is a morning showerer. I have OCD, yes, it's diagnosed, that manifests in feeling icked out very easily by germs, as well as specific rituals. With the help of therapy, I have improved greatly in the last couple of years, but still feel strongly about certain things being dirty. I do not like the idea of morning showers because I am by the concept of going out into public, getting germs, sweat, dirt, etc. on you all day and then getting into your clean bed sheets at night. Same. Additionally, I really enjoy sleeping nude and would feel really uncomfortable if my sheets

had society germs on them. Same. Before I go any further, I am not calling my boyfriend icky or putting down anyone's preferences. I wouldn't feel comfortable being with anybody that's unhygienic. He is also really understanding of my OCD and feelings and is very much willing to work with me. We're both very good to each other. Whenever we've stayed at each other's places in the past, the difference in shower routines

never bothered me too bad because I could always remedy it. If I stayed over at his, I would just sleep in pajamas and take a good shower when I got back to my place. When he slept over at mine, he would rinse in the evenings, yet still opted to take his normal morning shower. When the visit would come to an end, I would use that as my operative. opportunity to launder my sheets. Now that we're getting ready to move in together, we've both realized that we're unsure how to go about sharing a bed daily with this kind of routine.

I don't feel comfortable with a morning showerer bringing germs into my bed daily, yet he did say to me that he does not want to budge on his hygiene routine. I don't want to ask him to accommodate me on this because he does accommodate me in so many other ways. Is there a creative solution to this, I am not open to the idea of separate bedrooms or two beds in the same room. I just bought a brand new mattress last year, LOL. I thought about possibly the Scandinavian sleep method, but I'm unsure how that would work with fitted flat sheets. I see how it would work for duvets. Has anyone else experienced this before? What else could be done? Part of growth with OCD is learning to tolerate behaviors that go directly against your instinct with the disorder.

and I've grown in a lot of areas, but this is one I'm struggling to grow from. I feel like there are certain opinions and preferences I'm allowed to maintain, and if I could only pick and choose a handful of them, this would be one of them. I do genuinely want to compromise, though. Thank you again. And that's the most important thing here. I mean, there's a lot to get into, but if you're willing to compromise and you have someone that isn't, again, it's like, let's work together, people. I get not wanting to change. your routine. My routine's been the same since I was, you know, in elementary school, middle school. I've always been a night shower. I love a morning shower. I don't usually take one, but man, is it

nice to wake up and walk in hot water? It wakes you up. It's like, I can't think of anything better right away in the morning, but yet again, I'm still a night shower. But I don't understand why it's so difficult for him to do that, like baby rinse. Like just do the little rinse, You can do it before, after your girlfriend's showers, like you're not going to waste that much water. Just hop in, body wash, hop out. You don't have to wash your hair, unless that's like a part of what she expects.

But like a little body rinse like he was doing when he was staying over, that's a fair compromise. And then you still get your morning routine. Yeah, you just have to have each person see that they're compromising. Like he would have to recognize she's compromising. in certain ways that he is too. It's not that he's indebted with this extra, I got to get in and do this chore

because when you shower, when you don't want to, it feels like a chore. Whereas a lot of time, showering feels like this break from the day. You get clean and it's really enjoyable. If he sees it as a chore, he needs to see that you're also making compromises to like you're even.

You're working together to do this. Because I have the same feeling as her. I don't love going through the whole day and getting in bed. It doesn't for me apply to my partner so much, but it would be more like I don't really want to get into bed dirty, especially with, you know, we're taking care of horses on the daily. We're out there all the time and there's dust and it's dirty and whatever. I don't love to do that and then think, oh, I'm just going to go jump in bed.

I agree with her on that. I don't know. It's hard because I think the compromise you suggested is perfect. I think that's easy. That's easy. We're talking five minutes max. You can hop in, rinse 60 seconds. Well, right, in the physical.

But I'm saying to undress, get out, dry off. Like, you're in and out. And you're getting pretty clean. I don't know if you're getting dry skin or whatever. But you just got to think of all angles of this. Yeah. I think that is beyond fair. I also cannot recommend the Scandinavian separate duvet.

duvets enough. Yes. Justin and I do that. It's incredible. Not fighting with someone over the covers, not waking up because you're too hot or too cold, which is the number one sleep disruptor, is temperature imbalance. It's incredible. This, if you wanted your own fitted sheet, which also could be a really good compromise,

like we truly have our own sleep sets. Like, I have my own fitted sheet. I have my own duvet. You have to get two beds, two twin beds, and push them. them together and they just buy twin sheets. Right. That's what they have in a lot of countries. I know.

And are they literally just twin beds? They're just twin beds. Okay. I didn't know if they had. I didn't know if they had ones that were specifically meant to be pushed together and they kind of operate that way. Maybe. I guess I just assumed they were two twin beds and they push them together.

There's maybe bed frames that are made that way where they could separate but they push together to make one and it's just two separate sleeping situations, sleeping setups. I mean, there are some bed frames that are kind of made in that way, like this eco-adjustable bed frame. It's one frame and two twins and you can up it or whatever. I mean, think about like temporepetic or whatever the bougie beds are where there's like literally two sides and you can adjust temperature and elevation and whatever. Like it's kind of a thing. Yeah. But the cheapest easiest way would be to just buy two twin beds. Like twin bed mattresses are pretty affordable. Frames are pretty affordable. Right. Because I think the reality for most people is you're

probably not cuddling all night long. Some people, some people do. And you could still have one headboard. You would just do the two twin frame bases and one headboard. It looks like a queen or king bed or whatever. Then you're truly not interacting while you sleep within. each other's sheets. Yeah. But that's more of an investment. So you kind of can go to him and say, hey, you know, we're moving in together. I'm so excited. Here's two options that I've kind of come up with that feel like they're a fair compromise for both of us. Option one, you do a quick rinse before you go to sleep every day. Easy. Keep up with your morning routine. Fine. Or option two, which is a little bit more of an investment money-wise, but we change our bet out.

and go to two twin beds and different duvets. What do you think? Yep. Because you stank. Yeah. I totally relate to that. I'm not a big don't shower at night person. Again, it's probably because we do get dirty and dusty taking care of the horses.

But even if I weren't going to go outside and do that, it just feels nice to like wipe off the day. Totally. And there's even times where I know I have to shower in the morning because I need to wash my hair. I don't like washing my hair at night because it's not great for your hair, allegedly. So I'll do the quick rinse. And shower, like, it's not hard, but, you know, maybe morning showers are just, it's what motivates him for whatever reason. Oh, they're wonderful. Morning shower is wonderful. How about the people that get off a long airplane ride and hop right in bed? Oh, at home. In a hotel is one thing. I've had mental health, stints,

though where I like I didn't shower for three days. That's fine. But I'm saying on the regular. Regular routine every day. Yeah, when you're good, your mental health is good. Yeah. Nothing else is impeding you. Yeah, you should shower.

You get off the plane and get, mm. I know. I know. Because then you got to wash the sheets. I mean, come on. I know. So top comment on this one. 2.8K of votes.

You both shower at 3 a.m. Meet in the middle. You know, with how we are technically meant to sleep. Yeah. Okay, can you talk about that for a second? This was like mind-opening, mind-chattering for me. I feel like my body works better in this way than the traditional sleep schedule we've adopted. Well, we're distorted.

So I'll try to condense it as quick as I can. We can link the video, Justin watched too. Okay. Essentially for all of history. of what we can call humans. We all lived with daylight and darkness. Darkness was like, can't see your hand in front of your face,

darkness unless you had a really bright moon. But otherwise, there was no artificial light. We learned to control fire. Great. Fire created this circle of safety. Predators didn't really come near it. Fire is where they think human culture really started because daytime was mostly about function.

Who's hunting what? where are we going? How are we doing this? Nighttime was actually where people started to tell stories and come up with ideas and thoughts about the world and the bigger picture and everything. This led to controlling fire, which led to very, very recently, like 0.1% of all of our existence. We had gas lamps, we had candles, and now we have lights. What lights do is they extend this natural daytime to be a lot longer. Your brain doesn't decipher between daylight and artificial light. It just thinks, sun, I need to be awake. So you don't produce melatonin and everything that starts to have you go to sleep. So for all of history, everyone naturally would fall asleep near

sunset for four hours, roughly, wake up for one to two, maybe three hours. Maybe three hours. hours and then they'd go back to bed for four hours. And essentially that wakes you up right around sunrise. They did a sleep study where they had a certain, I don't know how many people you have to look it up and it's in the video where they took some people for a month and had them live with no artificial light, no fire, nothing. They just had the sun and then they had darkness. How did they do that experiment? naturally settled into the exact pattern, all separately, none of them interacting, fell into a pattern of falling sleep right around sunset, they woke up for the one to two hours in the middle,

and then they fell back asleep for another four hours. And during that one to two hours is like, it explains there's so many cool things that people would do during that time because you're in this different mental state. And they'd be ultra creative. They'd be ultra, everything. It's just... I'm like really trying to explain it, but that's why you get tired in the middle of the day because we are so offset,

but you're never meant technically to sleep in eight-hour duration straight through. And we really didn't start doing that until modern times. Henry Ford. Henry Ford literally was the one that kind of implemented this eight hours of sleep, you're working 40 hours, the modern 9 to 5. That was Henry Ford. So it's crazy. It's, it's so recent in

human history and it was all a part of capitalism. So it'll be interesting to see where we shift as we shift with things and is this AI bubble going to burst? Like we're all feeling it right now. Like I tried to buy a hard drive today to like have more room for files for the podcast. Hard drives are up in price 246% right now because all of these chip manufacturers are sending their shit to AI data centers. And it's like, ha! And again, like, I don't think any of us knew how crazy this AI was going to get. And I think a lot of us were hopeful. We heard about how AI was helping in medicine and is helping in medicine.

Like, there's some AI thing I just saw that can detect. pancreatic cancer or prostate cancer years before doctors can because of the model it's trained on and symptoms and whatever. And I'm like, how incredible is that? But then we have this downside of AI and the data centers and the eco problems. And it's like, again, brain fried. I don't know, you guys. I need help sorting through it. Maybe we do like a Zoom call and we can all just talk and connect and we need like an AI expert and an environmental expert. We all just like sort through. through the mess of this because I'm not educated enough at all. We're just meet in a big field at dawn. We all have our swords. That sounds great. Again, back to the Renaissance Festival. I want to go so bad, which I saw the comments.

And I literally, as I was editing, I was like, oh, my God, how did we miss that? That's going to be on an episode someday where we go back and we watch our reactions and we're like, okay, no, but I want to add on a little bit. not a do-over, but a bonus take. But back to the sleep story, I think we've provided some very reasonable compromises. Some other comments provide a few more. Sure. I'm also a strict night showerer

and hate getting in bed dirty, and my fiance sometimes skips a day showering. After a trip to Iceland, we adopted the Scandinavian method with our queen bed, using two duvays, and it worked out quite well. We still have to share the fitted sheet, obviously, but it's not too bad since we just stay on our respective sides.

Might be worth a try for you. O.P. responds. Thank you for the reply. I'm thinking that might be the best bet while I desensitized myself to the new routine and continue working on exposures with my therapist. Yeah. It does really help. It's incredible.

Not even just for sleep, but it does make you feel like you are in your own little bubble. It's so nice. It feels like Morgan's germs don't come attack me. It really does feel that way. You're funny. Well, like, they're not getting through because they'd have to get... No, because you kind of just like, it creates this like wall too. Yeah.

Because my duvet goes over and then your duvet goes over and we have like two layers of duvets between our bodies. And then if you want to cuddle, you got to like sift through all the layers of things to get over there. Or if I'm cold, I like have mine and I don't let Justin and mine, but I'll then take his and put it over me. Multifunctional. You really do get the best of every world. You really do. highly recommend everyone trying it. I talked to Kaelin about it recently

because her and Matt, I've told them about it because he's super tall and she's tall but not that tall. Yeah. And they tried it somewhere and they were like it was so good, but we don't do it at home yet. And I was like, oh yeah, you got it. And ditch the top sheet because that just makes it a whole mess. There's no reason for it.

Wash your duvet covers. You need to get a duvet with a cover you can take apart and wash. Yes, yes. Yeah. Right. But then if you don't have that, then you do need a top sheet. Of course, of course. But it is so much easier and simpler without the top sheet.

I was religiously a top sheet person my entire life. And when I first met you, it was really a weird transition for me because they didn't have that extra layer to pull up. Yeah, I hate a top sheet. But now when we go to hotels and things and there's top sheets, it's just in the way. It's unnecessary for us. I do like it at a hotel, though. That's like the place I love a top sheet. I guess, yeah.

At a hotel. Yeah, because it feels clean. Clean. somewhat. Do you think this would be a good first date question or second date? Like if you're getting to know someone, would this be a deal breaker early on? Granted, they're three years in. No, well, no, I don't think so because I think when you meet someone that is single and has been single, you know, ideally you want someone who's been single for a little bit of time, at least. In that case, they become set in their ways.

At least I was. I was very set in my ways. And the ways I've evolved since meeting you, obviously we've evolved because we've also gone through our whole 20s together, basically. But I've evolved because of you in so many ways that if you had said, like, hey, we're going to sleep with separate duvets and no top sheet and blah, blah, at first I'd have been like, well, I always sleep with a top sheet. That evolved for us.

And I think it's not one of those types of questions like, are you interested in having kids one day? Those big ones? This doesn't feel the same level. No? No, this I think, can evolve and you can discover this. And in this way, you can still find compromises along the way. This isn't one that's too hard to deal with. It is interesting, though.

I don't know. There is apparently a sheet called a top split sheet set, and it's meant for those best. that have the tops that can change based on what you want. It looks like this, but I don't understand how this would work on a normal queen bed because this did come up in the comments some, and O.P. saying they would try this, but it doesn't work on a normal bed.

I mean, the germs are jumping the gap, okay? But you, like, it wouldn't, there's no edge to grab on if your tops don't split. Like, it just physically wouldn't work on your bed. Oh, and it would just kind of be in the way and... Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know. I think maybe I'm confused, but I think two twin XL mattresses equals one king,

but two twin mattresses with their own fitted sheets on one king frame. Says a commenter, Wiggles 101. Wiggles 105. Wiggle knows what's up. I think start with the fitted full queen with the separate duvays, and if you're still having an issue, then move to the twins. Yeah. And then if you're still having issues, then we just separate the twins.

We put a nightstand in between us. Or like, I don't know, two twin beds near each other. That's like, that's the best of both worlds for them. Right. Or you just get like a huge king and you sleep on either edge. Same sheet though. And that doesn't work. That's true.

I will say I do love how much OPE is trying to just be like, I'm going to work on this. This is a me thing, my OCD. and I'm like, girl, like, you are putting in so much work and I really appreciate that. But like, this also is like a normal thing for a lot of people too. So like don't put so much pressure on yourself to like fix, air quotes, fix this. Like I understand your mindset and I really appreciate your willingness and awareness to work on it. But at the same time, like, this is kind of a normal desire to want your partner to be clean in bed when you go to sleep. Yes.

So I think there's solutions that will appease that while also not putting so much pressure upon yourself. No, and I want to see your effort matched by your partner. Yes. And if it's not matched, then there might be a discussion of like, maybe we shouldn't be moving in together because it's then kind of more about respect and just care and willingness to move through life together and compromise. This probably isn't the first compromise. It's definitely not going to be the last. And this isn't going to be the hardest one. No, this feels easy, except maybe investing money, which could take some time if you don't have the ability to buy a new bed. But that's what you do as a couple. Yeah?

You work through that. Yeah. There's a cute comment here from OP2 that just says, I do hope to be a parent one day and kids are walking petri dishes. I will have to get used to it one day. Why not today? Which also makes sense about the motivation and wanting to just like really tackle this. So, OPE just seems so sweet. But okay, moving on to this next one.

We don't have an official update yet. I hope we get one. Okay. Until then, we got to move along. Okay, so this one is coming from Am I the Asshole, titled Am I the Asshole for expecting my girlfriend to do my half of her chores as well? Okay. To do my half of her chores as well.

of her, okay. Very confusing title, everyone. I've been having arguments with my girlfriend regarding chores for a while, and it just doesn't make any sense. When we started dating, she mentioned how she doesn't want to be a mum to me and wants me to handle myself regarding domestic duties. I was completely fine with that. I was living on my own when we met and did everything by myself, managed my own life,

no problem at all. We moved in together, and we clashed a fair bit and decided it would be broken. best to just assign certain chores and stick with that. She hates being in the kitchen and doesn't want to cook. She also doesn't like doing the dishes because of her nails. I thought that was a pretty lame excuse, but whatever. I agreed to do everything in the kitchen. That means all the cooking, dishes, cleaning pans, wiping down stoves, countertop, etc. Personally, I thought that was a phenomenal deal for her, even if she did everything else. She said, okay, you handle that and we'll separate everything else in half. We'll split the laundry, split the cleaning bathrooms and toilets,

take turns grocery shopping, et cetera. Now, if everything was shared, I would be fine with that. But she wants me to handle the kitchen entirely and split everything else. Her argument is, well, you know how much I hate these chores, but I'm willing to split it with you, and that shows how much I want to be a team, as I'm not flat out refusing and being difficult. That doesn't make any sense to me. First of all, if I'm handling the kitchen for both of us, which is daily, I think it's more than fair for you alone to handle laundry weekly, cleaning toilets, bathrooms weekly. When I ask her to do my laundry or iron my clothes or anything like that, she says that I'm not your maid or your mom. What the fuck?

am I not being your private chef? Am I not being your private dishwasher? I'm not throwing it in your face because I'm willing to do that for the both of us. Also, frankly speaking, I don't give a fuck if you hate chores. It's part of being an adult. They need to be done and that's not a good excuse to pin more on your partner because they are able to deal with it better. It's just frustrating. I honestly thought this would be a I do this for both of us, you do this for both of us, etc., which would be so easy. but it's not. I don't even think I'm being unreasonable at all. In fact, I think I'm being more than fair.

Am I the asshole? No, you are being more than fair. It's just simply a mismatch because we could talk all day about what's right and what's wrong and what's fair and, you know, I don't think anything ever is truly 50-50 unless we're splitting a bill. Sure, then we can get down.

to the, you know, 50% mark. But nothing else is ever truly going to be 50-50. And I think you were going into it, right? You were communicating well. You guys discovered an issue and you were communicating to solve it in a really good way. Yeah. Now we see the equitable sense of the chores in different ways because you're doing 75% and she's doing 25%.

percent if we take it to the percentage again. The issue is we're not agreeing on how to operate as a team. It's an overall issue. It's not laundry versus kitchen. I do think kitchen is a big one every day. Kitchen takes longer than a lot of other things do. But then again, that's going to look different for every single couple, every single team out there.

But when we can't come to an agreeance on what that looks like, and you've tried, then I don't know where you turn because there's not a governing authority that's going to come in and say, no, you must do laundry because he is doing kitchen and that's just not going to happen. You guys either will sort it out or you won't. And the thing about not sorting it out is it kind of takes you. you down as a relationship. I mean, it just won't, it won't end up working out because you, you have to figure out how to live together to have a, you know, a full, rounded relationship. I don't understand what she's not understanding about, like, he's taking this whole huge chore section off of her plate. So therefore, she needs to pick it up in a different way, in another area. Like, there's got to be a trade-off. Yes. And I'm, like, what's not clicking? And I think this is honestly a pretty big red flag for things going forward.

What happens if you get a pet? And she doesn't want to scoop poop, clean up anything, take care of the pet. What happens if you have a kid? She doesn't want to change diapers. That's gross. I mean, there's other areas where you could kind of equate that to. Like, I would also say, hey, guess what? I'm not taking all the kitchen stuff anymore. It's back to 50-50, girl. You're not picking up in other areas. No one likes chores. That's what being an adult is. is though you can come help in the kitchen now. Cook a couple of meals. Get in there.

Get in there, little doggie. Yeah. Let's go. Well, I think if one person predominantly is the cook or is predominantly the laundry doer, that doesn't mean you should let laundry pile up forever because they do 100% of it. I think the other person should always take on a little bit. If she had to cook one night because of the circumstances that day, that should not be an issue. Yeah.

You always should be able to do everything while specializing. But it's like you can't just be, oh, I will never set foot in the kitchen, ever, no matter what. No. Even if you're dying in the hospital, I'm still going to wait for you to cook my meal. It's weird. You have to be flexible. I mean, I hate cooking. A lot of you guys know this.

I don't handle a majority of our meals, but like I would say we're probably, I don't know, would you say like 70-30 on like you're in the kitchen cooking? I'm just cooking. Like I do dishwasher. I feel like otherwise it's pretty even, but like cooking-wise,

I really hate cooking. But then I'm happy to do other stuff. I don't need you to vacuum ever. I'll clean the toilets. Oh, I like a good vacuum. I love laundry. I will still do everything. I know.

Even if, like, laundry was your task, I would still be putting in loads here and there. Yeah. And this just, this is not it, my guy. Like, you're getting a glimpse. This is what it'll be. Top comment with 13K up votes. She didn't want to mum you. She wants you to mum her.

Yeah. Next comment. This, do as I say, not as I do. Next comment down. The irony is wild. She dodged being your mom so she could turn you into her dad. who handles all the daily grind. Yeah, slipper slope.

Next comment, exactly this, throw the whole woman away. Someone says, not the asshole, kitchen chores are the worst. Living with someone who doesn't understand that is a pain. Laundry is by far the easiest chore. It's 10 minutes of actual work loading and unloading slash putting away. 5K of votes. Someone responds, if someone offered to do everything in the kitchen for me, I'd jump at it, even if that means doing everything

everything else. Apparently, it's just me, L.O.L. It's pretty labor intensive to do every single day, especially if you eat three meals a day, which I wager as most people. So many chores are done weekly and only take 30 minutes at most. I would happily take this deal if you want to offer this to me. I mean, sure, but our laundry is pretty hard to navigate, I would say, too. We're kind of particular. But the thing is, it's not equitable. We're not, I don't think that's the right word, but it's not fair even from an outsider. Everyone determines their own fairness. So that's why I think it's just a mismatch.

Look at all these other people that are like, oh my God, present that to, yep, let's do it. I'll do everything. I'll do more. I know. It's goofy. It's goofy. No update on this one. OP has deleted the post, but searching their account still active on Reddit,

commenting in R slash change my view, R slash stupid questions. Stupid questions is a great one. R slash no stupid questions. That one too. But yeah, not seeing any comments in regards to this. So that's all we got. Okay. All we got here.

Moving on to this next one. Moving on. This episode is brought to you by Credit Karma. When it comes to your money, Credit Karma keeps you ahead of the game. You can count on Credit Karma to keep up with your financial needs as they evolve. that help you monitor your progress and give personalized recommendations so you can make strides towards your goals and find your way to money. Make sure you're on the right track, no matter where you are on your financial journey. Intoit Credit Karma. Karma, you can count on. This one is coming from

relationship advice nine days old. It is titled, How Can I, 37 female, tell my husband, 38 male, that he's not allowed to use his deceased grandmother's china. Yes, this makes me an asshole. I get it. I still want to open this up for discussion with him. My husband's grandma had a set of antique china that she painstakenly collected over her lifetime. It's beautiful. And one of the last times I saw her, she told me how sad she was that she had nobody to leave it to who would appreciate it. I said that I was sure one of her other relatives would love it, but that if she wanted to leave it to me, I would absolutely cherish it. I was worried that it was inappropriate to say that,

but she seemed thrilled and packed it up for me that same day. That was five years ago. My husband and I do not agree on how this T-set should be used. I think it should be put away and taken out a few times a year for birthdays or when we want to be fancy or just deliberately remember his grandma. He wants to use them much more often. When I'm away, I know he drinks coffee from the teacups every day, for instance. The problem is he's also extremely clumsy.

We go through dishes really quickly, a new set of drinking glasses at least once a year. He breaks at least one dish every month. He broke the teapot the first year we had it. He initially promised to replace it, but then realized it would cost a fair amount of money and never did. I replaced it in the end. He's broken two teacups already. I loved his grandma, but obviously I didn't love her as much as he did. They were very important to each other, and I know using the china makes him feel close to her. But I also know that she loved her china collection and was very careful with it. I think she left it to me because she knew I would do

the same. I hate that it keeps getting broken. I know my husband likes to drink coffee out of more delicate cups, so I buy him a second-hand China teacup every time he needs a new one. Today, I went to do the dishes and moved a heavy pan in the sink, only to find one of his grandma's teacups, unbroken, thankfully, right underneath it. I said, passive-aggressively, I realize, quote, hey, when did you start using these as everyday cups again. And he said, quote, oh, well, I broke my everyday one last week. I'm frustrated and annoyed. It's important to me that this China be protected to a reasonable degree. I'm not saying we should never use them, just that we should be deliberate and careful about it. I don't know how to get him on board,

or whether I should just let this go and let them get broken. I fully agree with that point there. It's a very dicey situation. It's not crazy high stakes. It's not some crazy relationship thing going on here. But it really does make you think it almost goes, what was like Socrates and all them? What were they? Philosophers. It almost makes you go to the philosophy of it.

What would a philosopher say? What is the right and. wrong. No matter what his use of it is, is that wrong because it was his grandma. Yes, it wasn't directly passed. But at the same time, where was he in the conversation about the China originally being handed down when his grandma was still here? What was the interaction there? I mean, based on what O.P. wrote, I think these China pieces, this collection, was given to O.P. The wife. No, I know that. Because she would cherish it and appreciate it. Right.

But where was he at that time in that discussion? No mention. Irrelevant. So like had, I wish I had known had Grandma offered it to him and it just wasn't. I don't think so because Grandma was worried and talking to the wife and being like, I don't think anyone cherishes these. No one's going to love them like I will. I spent my life 70, 80 years collecting this China. Yeah.

I'm working. that no one's going to care, that they'll end up on a Goodwill shelf. Goodwill. I saw your comments. And so I think at that moment, it was like, she piped up not wanting to step on anyone's toes and said, I'm sure someone would cherish them. But like if no one, you know, you don't think anyone's going to fit, I'll take them. Grandma immediately packed them up because she saw the love. I don't think he had love, expressed love. Maybe now that grandma's gone, he looks at them and has these fond memories of grandma and her china. cabinet, but he does not respect them by any means. His disregard for these cups, I can't imagine loving them, respecting them because they were my grandmas, and putting them in the sink under a heavy pan, I don't think those two go hand in hand. So I'm like, does he like a dainty cup? And you just need to go to a thrift store and buy 20 dainty cups?

She's tried. Over and over. And I know. Like, this is not that big of a deal. This would send me. I would be enraged. He's broken two and the teapot and then never replaced it. So you don't care about your grandma's piece and collection because you wouldn't have been so careless with it. And you don't care about me because when you did break it, you know how much it meant to me and you told me you'd replace it. But you never did.

You left your burden of the broken teapot and placed it on me. I'm like, what, what? What? It's so frustrating to me. And I hate that OPE at the top was like, yes, this makes me an asshole. I get it. Am I missing something? Because, like, I don't think you're an asshole based on the information I have.

No, I think I agree with all of the points from her. It's just, who is it? It's theirs. But at the same time, for me, this would have always been kind of a display only set. I agree. China cabinet is the is a term for a reason and then you have the plates on the stands where they face outward and you can set it all up with the behind the glass. And it's there's display. It's not really there to be used, especially not daily used, but I'd be not daily even using something like this on occasion. I think there's fancy occasions. I think if

you have a little brunch and you want to have, you know, your family use this China. I think that's beautiful. My grandma Margaret uses her fancy China for things like Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner. And it's twice a year, three times a year. Maybe whip them out for Easter two. But like, it's fine during those moments because you're more mindful that, oh my gosh, okay, fancy dinner, fancy China, fancy meal. You're not typically also throwing them in the sink than putting pans on top. Yeah, yeah. So this would be like a really serious thing for me.

And I don't think in my head, maybe I'm unique in this sense, I don't think the fact that it was his grandma adds any more weight to him being able to use these. Like they were gifted to O.P. Because O.P. would cherish them. He does not cherish them. or things would not end up continuously getting broken. I mean, how do you break dishes so often, even regular dishes? How do you break drinking glasses?

The fact that you're going through a drinking glass set a year? Yeah, and then one dish a month? How? I don't even know how you do that. I don't know. I haven't broken a dish since, I don't know. I can't even remember. It's been ages.

Decades. I'm old. Get into the comments because O.P does have a little bit of an edit that was added. I have not read it. But let's get into the comments first. Top comment with almost 3K upvotes. Is there something wrong with him? Like, look, I'm clumsy. I have ADHD. I break a few dishes now and then. He broke the teapot, promised to replace it, backed out. And then instead of feeling shameful, you had to replace it yourself. He continued to use and break the set? Question mark. Like dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. This feels like the symptom of a deeper issue. Being clumsy is one thing. Being thoughtless and insisting to use something that was gifted to you feels like a red flag, especially when you had to replace it yourself. I would be very upset.

Easiest solution. Image search the set. Find cheaper cups that look like the ones in the set. Box the real things up. Let him break the new shit. Without knowing. Ugh, but that pisses me off because if you have a china cabinet or like cabinets in your kitchen to have the glass.

I know, because now you're hiding it away, and that's not what anyone wanted anyway. That's also risky. Like my dad boxed up a set of his nice plates, and we dug them out of storage, and they were all broken except like two. So that's also a risk. They're safe in the cupboard if he will keep

his grimy, irresponsible paws off them. And that is a fair boundary and a fair ask. Your past behavior has removed your privilege to the pretty cups. Act like a child and break cups, no cups for you. One, it's like the one she was getting from other places secondhand that were similarly delicate. Yeah. That would have been a great way to prove, hey, I haven't broken this cup in over a year.

Yeah. I'm ready to use Grandma's China again. Uh-huh. But nope, every time breaks the cup over and over, this guy has anger issues or something and, like, throws stuff. Like, I just don't understand how you... Yeah, what's going on, really? I just, I don't know how you're breaking the stuff. Beyond baffling, someone does reply to the top comment and says,

yes, I have ADHD too. Very clumsy, always breaking and bumping into things. But every single mug my partner uses is thrifted or from her childhood and are all extremely sentimental and practically irreplaceable. I broke one once and we were both devastated. I now make sure to handle them with an iron grip because I can't. No amount of executive dysfunction makes me forget to be super careful every day. O.P.'s husband is an asshole.

Yeah, yeah. But I don't even want to use that stuff then if it's that sentimental. I want to look at it. I know, but I don't. Oh, what is his thing? What is going on here to where he's like insistent on using these? I'm so... It could be some...

You know, hindsight's 2020. I miss my grandma. I feel connected when I use these. is you can always make that argument in his position. But then again, that completely contrasts why they're in the sink under the pan or breaking all the time. People do start pointing out as a major clutz myself.

I would say the rate he's breaking dishes is not normal. Is there a known condition he has, such as hand tremors or something? That would explain it. If he's got early onset Parkinson's or MS or something else going on that's causing a tremor or decreased grip strength and it's just slipping and blah blah blah blah. Like that would make total sense.

And then I'm like, okay, well, if that were the case, then I understand how maybe he's really trying and he's frustrated, he's breaking things. He's sad that he's losing his ability to hold a teacup or whatever. But again, if that were the case, you then do have to kind of be mindful that I need cuff. that people don't care about. I need more info.

So the edit. Edit to add, I didn't expect this many comments that quickly. So just to address something, everyone seems to be saying. He's got pretty severe ADHD. A lot of things get broken. Sometimes it's better managed than others, but we'll go through periods of time where there are a lot of mishaps.

Medication isn't an option, unfortunately. He's tried multiple times. This isn't an issue of him just not trying to get it under control. and managing it through other means is kind of inconsistently helpful. I'm not absolving him of responsibility here, but it's not coming from a place of maliciousness or uncaring. Okay, so now that we know that, it then makes the case stronger to let's make this a display China set.

Exactly. And even in his position then, knowing that information, and end the history of breaking, why would you want to keep using this stuff knowing that it'll probably continually be broken until we don't have any left? You know, I'm just curious what the argument would be there. I'm trying to see if there's any comments from O.P.

There's one other post from a couple of years ago. How do I tell my guy he doesn't need to buy me a Christmas present even though I am a Christmas monster? We usually buy each other fun and nice gifts on birthdays and Christmas but I'm starting to feel like this is a source of stress for him. For my last birthday, he bought me a beautiful thing. I've been waiting for ages, but he didn't actually order it until the day of my birthday. He was really, really apologetic and kind of just made me feel awful and sad.

And like it was a stressful obligation for him. I would have far preferred a nice card over watching him sit at his laptop, trying to make a decision while dinner got cold. I like giving things more than I like getting them. So now, because I am an anxious and obsessive person, I can't stop worrying about Christmas. I get a lot of joy out of making stockings from my friends and delivering cookie tins around town. I currently have little letter-shaped ham pies in the oven to drop off at our local post office for the workers there.

I'm a holiday monster. I've had my guys' Christmas gift since August. I'm excited for him to have it. But if you didn't get me anything, this nice present and this thoughtful stocking are just going to make him feel shitty. That's the last thing I want. So does anyone have scripts for, quote, please don't feel obligated to buy me a present even though I've gone entirely overboard as usual? I don't like that.

It's not hard to get people gifts. And I understand his ADHD is very bad and he struggles with a lot of executive dysfunction and difficulty remembering things and procrastination. And I get it. Yeah. I do. But like you should still feel cherished and loved.

You can always ask too. If you're, if it's really hard to get something for someone, you could say ahead of time, what kind of things are you looking at? What would you like if you struggle with that sort of thing? Because it shows the effort. It's all about the effort. Absolutely.

And, you know, if it's, hey, I would love a nice night out, dinner, movie night, whatever it is, that would be wonderful as a gift to me. Because a lot of people now are like, I don't want things. I don't want stuff. So it's like, well, what kind of experience? What could I do for you on your birthday that would make it special? that is easy to ask doesn't take away yeah it's not a surprise gift but i think it it shows that effort and that's what people want i know and it doesn't seem like he's putting in as much effort um opi does have some comments i'm able to find them on my handy dandy little sneaky website i'm using now

um a lot more insight into his patterns and behavior like he once left his laptop on roof of his car and drove away with it up there. Also, multiple times forgot to put the car in park and got out of it. This doesn't happen anymore. He's put a lot of work into managing more severe stuff. I'm pretty sure his ADHD will kill him at some point. That's like some pretty severe ADHD. That's like scary. The parking thing is really scary. People die. Like, like, car went into that canal. I forget if that was on the show or that was a news thing, but there was, um, there was like a factory recall issue with a certain car brand, and I don't want to say in case I'm wrong and defamation, but there was a glitch where people would put their car in park and it wouldn't actually engage

and they would get out and it would literally run them over. People died. It's like the gas pedal sticking back in the day. Remember that? Oh my God. Crazy. So people do ask why medication isn't an option, not second guessing him, just curious. I also got diagnosed late in life and meds have been good for me. O.P. responds, ugh, I didn't want to get into this because of how much he's being piled on already. And fair enough, he was being an ass about this. But he's got some serious problems with addiction. Non-stimulant meds don't do anything for him. And he can't be on the stimulants without abusing them. Meds made a huge difference when he was able to be on them. So he kept trying to find a way to regulate it, but it went off the rails every time. That makes sense.

Yeah, it's tough. It cost OP $300 just to replace the teapot. we aren't the kind of people who buy stuff like this. Yeah. O.P. does share what the pattern is. It is the Royal Albert Laurentian snowdrop pattern. It is absolutely beautiful. And to just get a teacup and saucer is $30, which is like, I mean, if you think about costs, like, we buy all of our drinking glasses from like T.J. Max, home goods.

It's like you can get a box of like eight drinking glasses. 30 bucks. Same price. And they're indestructible. But this is what it looks like. It's like got a beautiful green, tint, gold foil around all the edges. Yeah, you know, see, I... It's beautiful.

I think you find one-off pieces like that, that are the same set that match, replace some of the cups up there, wherever these are. And then at least, I mean, you're still breaking technically the same thing, but it's not the, it's not the one that's from grandma. I know. Well, there is a set available right now on Etsy for $429. And I know Opie said, we're not the type of people to buy this stuff, $300 for the teapot. But considering you've got the cups, $30, $60, $190.20, $300 tea thing. $4.50. A big serving platter. This person's pretty fairly priced. Slight discount.

Do you think that's bad, though? Is it bad to replace things and not say? And then when all of the stuff seems to be broken, you're like, hey, just kidding. It's not grandma's set is tucked away safe. Then someone's like, then you got a whole other problem on your hands. I know. This is kind of a lose-lose. It is interesting.

Because you can't be deceptive and lie. That'll never get you anywhere good. It might save Grandma's set, but if it tanks your trust in the relationship, then I'd rather lose Grandma's set than lose the trust. There is a comment here from someone else. Frankly, I don't get the recommendations to pack it away and hide it. Stick it in a box never to be used. Then what?

Pass the box along to another relative in the future kind of defeats the purpose of keeping the connection. What about a small display cabinet for part of it? nice lit, clearly artistic, maybe with a picture or other mementos of her, and make sure spouse is clear, this is not for use. It is on display to be preserved. Art, not for use at all. Then boxed the rest for use on special occasions. If at that point he's yanking a cup out of the display case for use, of course it's intentional. But this really may be the value of this stuff for him is to actually use it. I can see him perhaps feeling more of a connection to using her china rather than simply

having it collecting dust in a closed cabinet somewhere. So maybe a display bridges that gap with the rest in an actual sealed box. I think just display it all. Don't touch. And then maybe buy him a saucer, say, hey, this is your saucer that I bought. It's not grandmas. You can use it. Or you buy the saucer. You don't tell him and say, this is the one cup you get. And after you break this cup, there is no more use of the Lorenthean snowdrop pale green saucer. No more once you break this one. No more. O.P. does respond.

I like this. Thank you. I also hate the idea of it being boxed away. We both feel connected to her when we use it, and I don't want that to be gone. I just want the use to be intentional and careful. And if he's using it every day, he's just dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, not capable of maintaining that level of care. Stuff he uses every day gets broken very quickly. So I think that's a great, great solution. I'm curious how they're displaying them now if they're not in a display cabinet. I think they're just up with the rest. It makes sense why he's just accessing them and can't

keep his grimy paws off them. They're right in front of them. Yeah. There are some beautiful secondhand vintage restored hutches. Like if you search hutches, like if you search hutch, on Facebook Marketplace right now. They're coming back. Oh, I love a hutch. They're coming back. They're beautiful. They're so functional.

And I found a big one. Like it was, I think, seven or eight feet. It was like 200 bucks because it's so big and they don't want to deal with it. And I'm like, it's like storage that you can put out in plain sight. It's just beautiful. If you are a collector of something and you want a way to display it, also add some more cabinetry. I love a hutch. But they are big pieces and not everyone has room for them.

I get that as well. I'm going to need an update from OPE on this one, like really, really, really bad. So I'm sending a message and hope it works out. How many messages do you actually get back? You know, not many. Not many. Not many at all. I did get an update back from the person who had their roommate.

masturbating with the door open, they messaged me back, actually. I don't know if I was... You weren't on that episode. No. It was with Michaela, but essentially this person's roommate was like masturbating with the door open being very loud. It was egregious. Maybe that's a thing for them.

Unfortunately, it probably was. And it's very inappropriate and sexual harassment. Yeah. And so I was like, hey, just wanted to make sure you're okay. And the writer did respond. Hi, thank you for checking. Yes, I'm okay. And it all worked out with them.

I was going to update soon, but I have a lot going on. turns out they really didn't know they were being so loud. And I'm inclined to believe them. They were really apologetic and embarrassed. They've never made me uncomfortable in any other way before and usually are very respectful. So I truly don't think they were doing it maliciously now that I've talked to them. So seemingly worked out okay in that situation. So fingers crossed to everyone that this OP gets back to me.

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If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2,600 to speak to an advisor. Free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Okay, this is coming from our very own Too Hot Takes subreddit. It's two months old, titled, My Husband Wants a Porn Star. Ten years ago, I decided to turn my life around. As a teenager, I got into drugs and got into porn, and I did it for two years.

Well, at 20 years old, I was invited to church with my brother and decided to turn my life around. I met my husband in church, and we have a great life. We've had two babies together, and we are almost five years into our marriage. Me, 28 female, and my husband, 36 male. Have a great relationship. But tonight, he sat me down, and he told me that he wanted to have a serious conversation with me. He knew about my past, and tonight, he showed me a video of me from when I was 18 years old. He said that he wished that I acted like that in bed now.

The only problem is, back then, I was acting all of it. None of that was real. I was over-exaggerating expressions just to get paid. I have no desire to act like that. It was literally only for the money. So now I don't know what to do. He wants me to act like the girl I was back then before we ever even met. I love him and I want us to have a healthy sexual relationship, but how? How do you? I love him. I want us to have a healthy sexual relationship. How do I get past this? Edit, he knew about my past because I told him before we got married. He knew the name I went by, so it wasn't like he just stumbled upon it while watching something else. Smart.

Yeah, honesty. Honesty is always the best policy. Yes. Well, I would put it how you did in the post. That's exactly what I would say. And there's not much more that needs to be said. It's you're not interested in that. It was all an act.

I don't want to act and feel like I have to put on a show every time we are. Together, intimate. Yeah. Like what? It's not, it's so different now. That was for that purpose. This is so, this is for so many other things. This is for our love and everything.

It feels so different. It's kind of like in a world how it's, and this is such a bad. but how it feels just sleeping with someone on a white night stand versus when you're sleeping with someone that you've been with you have such a connection with i wouldn't want to put put on all that show either i would want to do what what we want and so now we're in a really really weird territory where he's pulling up other videos and like you know he's watching these and and and making assumptions and just it just gets into a weird territory

where it's like you're watching me when I was that I'm trying to distance myself from all of that you know was that happened but now I'm here and I'm with you and this is what we have and it's just weird for him to

pull that and then show it and be like I want you to do this with me I just don't like it I just don't understand like like do you want real or do you want fake? Do you want mutually beneficial where I feel satisfied and I'm being heard and my needs are being met or is it self-serving for you and you want a performance?

And by the sounds of this, you know, this was a tough time for O.P. We don't know of him bringing these videos up was kind of traumatic for her. Right. There's so much context there that we can't even begin. understand. So there's also a side of this where it could be hurtful where it's like, that's not me. I went through a lot and that was a tough time and now here I am. And so I do think you need to have a heart to heart with him. Be honest. That was a performance. That was not real. Don't you want real? On another side of this, if OP is comfortable with this past and there's no

you know, reinduced trauma by bringing this up, there could be something where it's like, hey, you know, if you want to spice things up, yeah, every now and again, we could go a little crazier. But that's exhausting to do that every time. And that's also not you and who you are. And you shouldn't have to perform in bed constantly. But I'm genuinely curious if he thinks that that was real. Like do you find, have you ever talked about porn with your friends or watching porn? Like, is that something guys ever, I mean, maybe not you, but I'm curious if there's any guys out there listening who have ever talked about porn with their friends or the fact that like, porn isn't real? But like, is it a common misconception? Yes, 100%.

Where people look at porn and they're like, that's real. Yeah, because we've seen that through so many different things. even stories on this show. I'm like, how? I mean, we all know that in, I guess it's just been shown to us through so many different things that guys do have very unrealistic expectations because of that. And they'll use that as the, this is the expectation. Oh, when it's not that, I'm not satisfied because that's, it just sets the bar in such a

weird place where it's like, I don't even know how to explain it, but I have not had. at least any that I remember. I mean, it would probably be way back in high school or something if you were ever talking about porn. Yeah. But I've like never sat down with the guys and watched porn. Like, that'd be weird. Some people do do that, though. No, I don't doubt it.

I do think that porn has created crazy unrealistic expectations. Completely agree. Everyone. And, well, not everyone, but I mean like all types of people. The people letting page with it. Yeah. Yes. And it just kind of bleeds into all other areas of society and expectation standards.

And it's, again, yeah, unrealistic. Comments wise here, the top comment with 3.5K, I tell him exactly what you said here, that it was acting and not reflective of what you enjoy. If he understands that, maybe you too can explore what feels fun and natural. for both of you now instead of trying to recreate a scripted version of the past. Someone responds, this is the best answer on here. Next one, that dude was looking for her porn. Oh my God.

Next one, it's his literal wife, bro. And I guess there is a side of like, I'm curious about it. Like I'd, if someone I had started dating or seeing initially was like, oh, I used to be blah blah, blah, sex worker, I used to do this, I used to do that. I would look it up. It doesn't matter what it was or what they did. I'm nosy and curious. feel like that's normal to look it up. Yeah, but it's different than when you take it and say,

hey, see this, remember this? I want that. Yeah. There's another comment here. Show them this post in about 24 hours and all the comments that come with it. It's going to be a slew of random stuff. Some might stick in the cracks of your relationship. Some won't. Personally, I'd sit them down and say, I can play act occasionally. I get it. That's fun. But you know, I wasn't actually having fun then. I was creating content and faking it to get money. You can see that, right? So happy to spice things up and do some random things, but not happy to move everything over to a male-dominated fantasy land

because, frankly, that wasn't much fun for me. And then tell him what is fun for you. If porn is okay in your marriage, show him porn you like. If it's not, gently remind him that and say, I'm okay with play acting, but can you please remember we talked about no porn? So get your ideas off your own steam, yeah? Not from Porn Hub. And tell him what is not fun even.

either. I love that. I think that's like kind of what I was trying to get at if I didn't. So that sounds amazing. Yeah. We don't have an update from O.P. Yet. If you're out there listening, we would love one. So please update us. Let us know how the conversation went, how things have evolved. Have they gotten better? Is you kind of seen the unrealistic side of the porn you did and all porn? But please update us. Okay, friends, going to take a little pause here and come back and finish this episode tomorrow. This was a feat for me, energy-wise, and I'm still not feeling great. I literally went to dry bar today because I couldn't wash my own hair.

And I was like, just need someone to help me. So that is one of my favorite little hacks. If you're ever feeling blue, down in the dumps, unmotivated, sick, whatever, having someone wash your hair for you, is so nice. So Justin and I will run it back tomorrow to finish this up. So enjoy this ad. Right back like we never left. Yeah, did you enjoy the ad? Thank you for listening. Okay, so we're going on to this next story. It's coming from True Off My Chest. It's titled, I'm convinced my wife can't taste cheese and she refuses to accept it. So I'm I, 26 male, have come to realize after being married to my wife, 23 female, for a few years,

that she cannot taste cheese, and she refuses to accept it. I noticed it offhand at first. I would make a dish, I'm the primary cook in our household, that was primarily cheese, and she would say that it had no flavor. So I would season it up more, and she would be okay. But then I started noticing if anything relied on the taste of cheese, she would say it had no taste. Mind you, she claims to love anything cheese, but I'm starting to think she likes the other flavors

with it. Last year, I tried to make authentic alfredo, like you always see people make on the internet. No cream, just butter, garlic, real fresh grated parmesan, etc. After making it, I thought it tasted really good. But she said it just tasted like butter noodles. I then gave her a bite of just the Parmesan cheese, and she said that it didn't have much flavor. From then on, I have accepted that she cannot taste cheese. She loves Caesar salads, always wants Parm on it, but I'm starting to think she just likes the texture, because she doesn't seem to be able to taste it on the salad. If we buy blocks of cheese from like the cheese section at our local market, she says she can taste those, but they have to be strong, and again, seasoned with other

flavors. If I just give her cheddar cheese, she claims it has little to no flavor. I have brought this up on multiple occasions, and it has become a running joke between us, but she still doesn't think that it's her taste. I have even asked two of my siblings if they could taste cheese in a dish I made, and they said they could. Yet, my wife told us she could not. It really isn't that big of a deal. It's just funny that she still claims to love cheese, and she always wants cheese on everything, but I don't think she can taste it. I am always heavy on seasonings and such anyways, so it doesn't bother me. But when it's cheese and crackers and she can't taste it, not much I can do, L.O.L. Also should mention, I think it could have been COVID that did this to her, because stuff she used to like,

she doesn't think has flavor now. Just wanted to say this somewhere, L.O.L. Yeah, that would suck. That would suck. I mean, I feel like cheese was robbed for me in a way. Yeah, you're dairy-free boy now. Dairy free these days, you know, but you can definitely taste cheese. Parmesan, you know, there are levels. If you get a real Parmesan where it's actually stamped on the outside, you can definitely taste it. Or if you get an aged sharp cheddar, you can taste it. So it's like if she's not tasting those, then yeah, she probably doesn't. But if you could taste them before, let's say it was COVID. If you could taste them before, and now you can't, you would still have this love for.

what it is. And yes, it may be the texture and, you know, certain foods, it just can't eat with cheese. So now, sadly, I just can't have those foods. But I think you would still love cheese. You know, it's like if you lost the ability to experience something, but you used to love it, you would still love that thing, even though you can't still necessarily experience it now. So obviously, like they said, there's no issue, but it is, it is peculiar to lose. I'm curious what she also lost taste for. That doesn't look, yeah, that she doesn't like. I think it's just so weird where it's like, why do you care?

And he's just venting. He's just venting. I mean, he's on true off my chest. But it's still like, it almost feels like he's monitoring how much cheese and like he's doing cheese calculations. And like, oh, is she going to taste that cheese? I was going to say, like, I don't feel like Parmesan has that much flavor. Depends.

Like a sharp, sharp cheddar. Yeah. A Colby Jack with some peppery shit. Yeah. But it's not super aggressive of like a flavor. Yes. But I also don't like blue cheese because blue cheese is flavorful. I don't even had it because I'm scared of it.

Or cottage cheese I haven't had either because I'm scared of that too. Texture for cottage cheese I cannot do. Yeah. Cannot do. No. Next time we go to the grocery store, we're going to get one of the Parmesan's that's stamped on the back. They're very special, but it's like they actually look like the design. Uh-huh.

that will have real flavor. I do want to do a cheese tasting because I know some of you out there were going to send me cheese to the PO box and I told my dad to go check it. So I hope there's cheese in there. Like non-refrigerated cheese? Cheese blocks.

Yeah, they just seal them up. Oh. Yeah. Oh, so it's when they get cut, then it becomes an issue. I think it's bad. Yeah, because me and Angela had a cheese story. The guy, he bought like $18,000 worth of cheese

and then it actually ended up getting incinerated. I did get an update. I posted the update on our Instagram for the cheese guy. He said it all got incinerated. Huh. Is cheese ever really bad though? Because cheese is technically mold, but it's not the bad mold. It's not mold that make you sick. We need a cheese engineer to come out because can you start new cheese from the mold of an old cheese? You know, but you need dairy in there somewhere, sadly. I guess I really don't know how you make cheese. We should look into that. Top comment on this one. First of all, I thought to myself, how odd. Then I kept reading, and you mentioned that she thinks it doesn't have a lot of flavor usually.

I think cheese doesn't have a ton of flavor, unless it's sharp. Right. Now I'm worried, I don't taste cheese. Everyone's just making up this taste for cheese. Literally. Someone goes, I taste test for work. She possibly has built up a bit of a tolerance if she is a cheese fan. Also, cheese taste isn't really an official term,

measurable on a surface level with no controls. Maybe she's looking for an umami flavor that salt is offering, but cheese is not. I wouldn't disregard that she's a cheese fan over this, basically being like, no, she's probably still a cheese fan. Mommy flavor? Umami. Umami. Umami, umami, umami, umami, umami, umami, identified as the fifth basic taste alongside sweet, sour, bitter, and salty is a savory, meaty flavor caused by glutamate, itocinate, and guanolate. Umami.

Okay, cool. Never gonna need to know that. Things with umami flavor, tomatoes, machetee, mushrooms, dry ham, aged cheese, soy sauce, tuna. I can do without. Yeah, you don't really eat any of those things. Soy sauce is salty, yo.

It's umami. It's savory. All I taste is salt. Oh, see, I taste a saver. That's why I like it. Soy sauce on a crunchy rice, spicy tuna thing. You should call it salt sauce. A little edamomame dipped in there. Is there a liquid? Never mind. I'm going off the rails.

Is there a liquid what? A liquidified salt. Like, instead of sprinkling the salt, you can put a, like, you can mix it in. But like a sauce, like it's salt sauce. But it's just salt. Salt sauce I think it's all combined with something Yeah, it's got to be

There is like a salt lick Original barbecue sauce Salt-based sauce by dashy Probably doesn't work well because of chemistry But salt dissolves in water But then you just have salt water And you won't want to put that on food No, no sir

Okay moving on to this next one I just had to get a little cheese A little dash of cheese Because like cheese We were getting a little a little, you know, it was kind of a lot on the first side of this episode. All cheese is good. Except for cheese heads.

Oh, the Packers, man. Yeah. Football season is, can do without the cheese. It's almost here. Okay, this next one is coming from R slash relationship advice. It's a month old. My male 33 wife, female 28, cannot accept that I dated a, on what she calls, a low-class woman, female 30. We've been married for two months and suddenly my ex was the topic for a month now.

Half your marriage. I have no idea why this came up in the first place, probably popped up on Instagram. My wife has been really pissed off. She said she's disgusted by me dating a low class woman. For background, my ex came from a poor family, grew up without a father, single mom raising her. is now earning quite well. She had some habits that I didn't like, and that's why I broke up with her. My wife is from an upper middle class family. She's been top student from kindergarten to university. She earns higher than my ex. She is a woman who always improves herself, has a strong family culture. I came from a middle class family earning well too. I am a stubborn guy, though. I grew up with my grandparents as my parents were working abroad, studied in private schools from

start to finish. They never met. I barely told my wife anything about my ex. She has been on and off about this topic, threatening divorce or seeing other men that is of higher quality than me just because she thinks that my ex is low class. She said she's been disgusted by me that I even considered to date that woman. She doesn't want me to touch her or even be near her. I'm going crazy. I can't do anything because it's in the past. She's saying I don't understand her. What is it exactly that I don't understand? I'm confused. I also don't want the divorce. I have also asked if she's jealous, and she got even more angry and said that it's confirmed that I don't even understand her. What am I actually missing? Does it really matter to some people about the class status their partner has dated? I have a

psychiatrist's appointment because I don't know if I have a mental health problem now. Any advice? I'll tell you what I'm missing is why you don't want the divorce. What do you mean? I don't want the divorce. Bye. Too bad this didn't show itself before you got married, but it doesn't matter either way now. We know who we're married to now. I do not understand people that just can't see people. for who they are. And it's like, it's just, it's so frustrating. Yes, you dated this person in the past, but even regardless,

even if you hadn't dated them to look at someone this way. And now, because you dated this person, now you're in the category too. Now you're this, whatever she wants to call you, however she's judging you, looking at you. it's like this is just beyond. It's almost being treated as this small little thing. This is huge. This has so much context. This has so many implications.

Imagine raising a kid with this person. Hell no. Your kid's going to be not who you want them to be. No, and you've been married for two months, a month in, aka half-year marriage. She starts talking about your ex. I'm so disgusted by you because you dated a low class person. Ma'am, if you're calling someone low class, you're low class.

Like, that just, oh, when you look at other humans as less than you or you degrade them, I find that so disgusting. We're all humans. We're all just trying to get through this life one way or another. Can't change the cards you're dealt. No one asks to be born into a place they're born into or their status that they're born into. You don't pick your cards. You pop out and you deal with what you're handed.

So, fuck you. Fuck your elitist attitude. I just like, we want to put some bees in her bonnet because she's clearly pissy for no good reason. And to then start threatening divorce and to say, you know what? You're not man enough for me. I'm going to go look for higher class men elsewhere.

Go ahead. So you're going to cheat on me. Go ahead. I would not even care about getting cheated on by this person. I'd be happy about it. I don't understand where this is all coming from. More than bees, too. We need hornets or wasps or something that stings and can keep stinging. Not the one-time sting, you know, we need...

A lot of people pick up on the cultural thing. Someone says, it sounds like you're from some Asian, South Asian background. And if so, I'd say I can understand where she's coming from completely. I'd also leave a man if he had no standards. She probably feels like she ended up marrying someone who would just go for anyone as long as they had a pulse. The concept of upper and lower class is very different outside of Asia

where they see it more like elitism. Meanwhile, in Asia, a lot of your morality, behaviors, consideration, and manners come from your class and upbringing. In other places, everyone is under the same as an upper class Asian, so they aren't able to imagine how jarring the lower class Asians are. She most definitely feels like she's wasting herself, on someone who has no standards. Okay, is this the Hunger Games?

OP responds, this is correct. Everything you've said is correct. She said that all her efforts and her parents' efforts were a waste. I didn't grow up with a class system. That's why I can't comprehend why it mattered. It doesn't. Doesn't matter.

She already brought up class status when we were dating. It never sounded this crazy. Someone goes, Your wife sucks and you know it. You'll ignore this. This specific problem might get better or it might not, but the relationship will continue to be superficial for her, and at some point it'll break down over something just as stupid.

Just one piece of advice while you wait for this realization to sink in. All caps. Do not have children with this woman. O.P. responds, we haven't done it in a while. Having a child with her would be impossible. That's not the point, idiot. Someone asks, are you rich? Did you marry her for money?

I'm not. She knows that too. How did she pick you then if she has all these standards? That's what I don't get. I don't know. She obviously chose you then, not because of status, not because of class. She chose you for you, apparently, based on that. So then why can't she see that people from different classes can still fall in love?

Look at Bridgeton. It's like that's a good recent example. example of it. I get it to a show. I mean, there's like real life examples, though. And I do kind of understand in a sense where culturally we're not going to relate, but there is a princess in Japan that gave up her title to marry a commoner, like air quotes, commoner, right? And so, I just kept seeing like stories about her come up because they had a child and paparazzi's harassing and following her in New York or somewhere. And it's like, she gave up her title. for love to live a common life,

why are we still stalking this person with paparazzi cameras? People are annoying. Like, what are we doing? But there is that mentality there of like, I mean, look at the story we just had on Patreon with the girl who went to Japan with her boyfriend's family

and she experienced some racism there because they were a mixed couple. And so it's like, it's just experiences that I don't think we're fully able to grasp being white Americans. There's so much culture and stigma and caste system still. And I just, it's tough to put yourself in those shoes when obviously we're so not going to get it. That's fine. But then we are still reading this post that is posted for a reason. Yeah. Because you're unhappy now in this marriage because of how your wife is treating you and looking at you and talking about

You're past. I know. People do ask where are you from? They are from Southeast Asia. Someone says, is it too late to get an annulment? Opie says, might not be. No, I bet. Well, I don't think so.

I know in Minnesota is it 90 days? I don't remember. Is it a federal standard or is it a state? I have no idea. Because then we're talking a different country too, maybe. All I know is that we don't know where they are. Britney Spears got one. Southeast Asia.

Mm-mm. How long were you dating before marriage? O.P. says a few months. Oh. It started really well, like we understood each other, and it was a match. Someone says she sounds abusive, and now that you're locked in, she's starting to show her true colors. Yeah, I felt that. Yeah, he hasn't really spoken about his ex to her.

She wouldn't consider therapy. She told me to go to therapy myself. So I don't know if there's any hope with this one. Something's going on. If everything's great, we know each other for a couple months. We get married and everything. Like, it just, I don't know anyone out there who would say that isn't quick. Months. Yeah. Know each other for a few months or dated for a few months. I guess the context. We don't know the background. If they're friends forever or whatever. Yeah, that's true. Very true.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. She wasn't horrible when we met. She was nice and caring. I don't want to say which country we're from, but it's the only one not conquered by the West in SEA. They are different nationalities, though. No historical hangups. Yeah, they're in Asia. We're all Asians. My wife, me and my ex, only difference is that we're from different countries. So, just goofy. Absolutely goofy. You know, we may not be qualified. to comment on it, but if that were written from someone here, this was our friend telling us,

run the fuck away. This is the reaction we'd have. And still, run the fuck away. I, you know, I hope we get to a point soon with humanity where we start looking at other people with different races and religions than us as humans. I think what's happening in Gaza still is like, I'm like, when is it going to end? Everyone here, like, we're scratching our heads and like, we feel so paralyzed by the inability to help. And it's like, when is anyone going to step in what's happening? There's a lot of things I feel like that. It's just, and it's, there are a lot.

And it's just like, oh, like, win with the world wake up. And so, oh, God, you just like, you hope he, you know, gets out of this and then finds his person, someone who isn't going to think less of him and thinks he is just a good person that they want to love and be with, not this need to find a high value man. Because it's crazy. That's a lot to go forever with. I mean. The top comment,

she is a woman who always improves herself. They quote what O.P. said. And then they say, then why is she a piece of shit? Next comment down. The irony of calling another person low class when she has no class herself. Next comment down,

I'm guessing there's more. Perhaps a minority race or something. Someone replies, I'm getting India's caste system vibes. I don't know. Someone responds, that's what I thought. And also the way O.P. Right sounds like the way Indians write.

Source, I'm Indian. Someone says, you're the asshole for staying. You don't need a psychiatrist. You need a divorce attorney. Someone else says, you chose wrong. Well, and they said that in the post. Like, I'm not going to, I don't want to do the divorce. Because they knew that that's what everyone would say.

Yeah. You don't put that in there just thinking, oh, well, let's see what people say. you know what's coming. I mean, there's no way up from here. And some comments did point to the fact that she's probably using this divorce threat as a form of manipulation, as a form of abuse to control O.P. And that's why the mask has started to slip now that they're married. She doesn't actually want a divorce.

She just wants a man she can control. That's what a lot of the commenters are pointing to. Yeah. Luckily, we do get a brief update. Okay. I have agreed to her divorce offer. She's hoping to sell the rings, to pay whatever. She's also told me it's because of me that she's like this and she was never like this. Sure. It was my fault that I didn't trust her. It was my fault that we went to the same places I went with my ex. I have no idea where to bring her. It was my fault that I didn't tell her everything about my past exes. Wouldn't it be weirder to tell her where and what we did? Question mark? It was my fault. I didn't listen to her. Suddenly, everything wasn't about my ex. Yeah. Happened real quick, huh?

Real quick. Three-year-old account, verified email. seemingly pretty real real. I mean, do you think she, everything else aside, do you think she got into the marriage and just kind of freaked out and was like, I did this after a few months and, you know, crashing out? I got to get out. I don't know. It's just, I don't know. It's wild. Wild, indeed. One last quick one for us.

Okay. I've been holding on to this one for a while, and it has to do with domestic tasks and errands and household management kind of things. So, I'm curious what you think of it. Very good. Definitely not necessarily in the relationship problems category. Okay. But I want to read it, and this feels like it kind of fits. This is coming from R slash confessions.

I make appointments for things I actually don't need, car shopping, apartment tours, insurance agents, etc. Because I'm lonely. It's taking a lot for me to write this. I'm 33 male and I have no friends. I have a job that I love and get along well with everyone. Despite me doing well with my work, I'm nervous and self-conscious around people.

I've tried joining groups for social activities and find myself, not doing well in crowds. From time to time, I make appointments to go to stores for things or services that I don't actually need, going to car dealerships to look at what's there and chat with the salesperson, going to insurance agents, home life auto for consultations, making consultations at dentist offices, going into banks, inquiring about opening accounts. I do this all to make small talk with the employees. In a way, I'm also doing this to try and improve on my own social skills. I actually do enjoy a lot of the interactions, and they help me get more comfortable.

It's also my way of getting out of the house and keeping busy. I'm going to admit, I know I'm wasting the employee's time, though. I know they could have dealt with people that truly needed their service, potentially affecting their business in a way. It's not healthy for me to keep this up. I really wanted to get this off my chest and read all thoughts and opinions here on this. Thank you. Well, in one way, in those jobs, this is also a good practice for them. When you're in a sales position like that, the more people and the more times you have to have those conversations and talk to people, it actually helps you.

So yes and no, however you want to look at it. The thing that I find interesting is those are the conversations I don't like to have. I was going to say he is so much better than me because those are all conversations like I struggle with and put off. Yes, it's like calling someone. I'm scared to call people. Like I don't enjoy being on the phone. Especially when you're cold calling for a service or asking if they have a product or something like that.

Those are the conversations that I find hard, harder than, you know, random happenstance. Yeah. So I feel like OP is very well equipped, especially with someone. they can connect with. Yeah. Such as a friend or I know we have the effort to try and go to social activities and that kind of thing. I just wonder how much of that is tied to any specific hobbies or if you think you have any hobbies right now even. So it might just be a path of discovery and discovering I need to see what I like to do.

And then because everyone's got to like to do something. There's something out there as niche as it could be that you're just not thinking of or you're just haven't hit on yet. And then that can lead you to people that I feel are way easier to converse with than the people you currently are. I'm blown away by the effort. And I think O.P, you know, saying like I've tried joining groups for social activities and finding myself not doing well in crowds, start small. Like go to a coffee shop that's got a morning meetup or a tiny book. club or like whatever, but like something you're hopefully interested in. But yeah, my dad used to go sit at the coffee shop across from his house every morning and hang

out with his guys and there was a group of like sometimes two, sometimes three, four or five guys. And he just met them there. And he just met them there by being social. And, you know, I wanted to highlight this one because it is so hard making friends. It's easy to feel alone right now and feel like you're crashing out. one's understanding you and you're so disconnected. Like we've, again, we've lost the village in a sense lately. Yeah.

And so I just applaud his effort and I really just think that he's going to find his people. Like look at how much he's putting himself out there. It's just going to take one of those agents that's like, hey, buddy, want to go for a bike ride or like grab a beer? Like, I'm not sure what he's into. But like, hopefully he will find his people. Yeah, well, especially considering the car or the insurance. insurance talks. They're going to ask you what you do. Well, what kind of car are you looking? Because what do you want to use it for? What do you go do? Those could easily lead to... Car club, like, just

friendship. Or I like to take my car here because I like to hike. Oh, well, and maybe not so much. I wouldn't necessarily count on salespeople to randomly happen to become friends because they're in such a sales mindset. but the practice is great. And I think the same effort, even though someone isn't scheduled to meet, you does kind of apply to the coffee shop, where you're sitting there and you can challenge yourself

just to talk to one person or compliment one person. You never know. I think connections are so often missed by people all over the scale, people that are hyper, ultra-extra-social to every scale of this. Connections are being missed because we're also afraid to talk to each other.

I know. And then when someone actually does say something to you, it's wow. And then you start a conversation, whether or not you have trouble with social things, it feels so natural. And it just feels so good to get back to that in a way. Because yeah, you're right.

It has very much change since COVID. COVID since TikTok, all of it. I know, we're constantly head down in our phones. Constantly. It's just like, we need to just be more aware of other people and personable and friendly again and say hi to your neighbors and talk to people on the subway. Yeah.

You know, the top comment on this, dude, those employees are probably just happy to have someone who's actually pleasant to talk to instead of the usual angry customers that they deal with every day. True. Next comment, you could probably make a living doing these things for other people. Please go deal with car salesmen and insurance agents to find me the best deal and I can stay home playing video games. I'd be so down to pay for someone to like look into services and things that I need. Find me a closet organizer.

Yeah. A lot of people just recommend pets. O.P. does get a comment here that says, it's fascinating how you use sales environments as social training. The fact that you feel bad about employees' time speaks volumes about your kind heart. Do you feel that those interactions have actually boosted your confidence when you try to talk to people outside of a sales setting? An OP says, yes, I feel they've helped me with my interactions. I still face difficulty with group and crowd settings. Someone else does make a recommendation and they say, it's truly great that you're

putting yourself out there, but may I suggest you pick up a hobby that will get you more natural human interactions, you can take painting classes, hockey, run in groups, become more of a political or non-profit organization, maybe even volunteer. Volunteering is probably the best idea. It's free, super gratifying, and you get to talk to people from all walks of life. I love that idea. And O.P. says, I've never thought about these. I just have to still work on getting more comfortable in groups. And honestly, like, there's so many nonprofit things that are looking for volunteers, whether it's like animal shelters, which sounds amazing. Yay. playing with dogs and cats and stuff all day.

But I just got a text message from the American Cancer Society, charity shop. They're looking for volunteers right now. Yeah, and it's not necessarily groups then. No, it's almost those same. Like, if you went and volunteered at something like an animal shelter or a charity shop, a thrift shop, it's almost those exact same customer service interactions, except you're on the other side of it. Yeah. And that would just be one day a week.

So I think OP is going to, it's going to, it's going to, find their people soon. There is another comment here that says look into Toastmasters. Despite these individuals being shy and socially awkward, the skills they learned in the club made them much more confident and outgoing. It honestly was a life-changing for them. And that's based on the person knowing people in it. And if you look at Toastmasters.org, it is a international club. It says, express yourself. Practice the skills you need to communicate with confidence and excellence. It all starts with a fun club. It all starts with a fun club. environment where you will learn and practice together to grow individually.

Sounds like a good time. Yeah. Sounds like a good time to me. I could, oh, they have public speaking classes. Maybe I should sign up for that. But I'm not seeing an update from OP quite yet. They're pretty active in a bunch of other subreddits, R. slash celiac, R. slash confessions. But we do not have an update.

date on this yet. It only has 200 up votes right now. So I feel like there will be a little under the radar. But I'd love an update like a year from now where it's like I made a friend. Like it would be so good. I feel like it would be quicker. It would be so good. That's one thing I love, love, love about the live shows is how many of you come and end up meeting friends in line, whether it's for the meet and greet and then we like literally take pictures together. Yeah. I'm trying to figure out live shows and you know, what that looks like for us as we are so busy, but yet want to come out and see you guys again. So hopefully early next year we can put something together. There is potential for a show in Orange County in November. So working on that. But maybe a Christmas show on the East Coast,

let me know where you would like us to tour as I send that to my touring gal and she starts putting things together. Like, let me know in the comments, what? what cities knew on us to hit this time. Because we missed a few. You know, we didn't make it to all in the last go-around. I know someone did ask me to go to Australia for some festival, and I was like, it's just, it's a feat right now. Antarctica.

I would love to see a penguin. We could do a show for the penguins. That'd be sick. And we'd just be freezing. Yeah. That would be really cool, though. I love penguins. The wind.

Am I the asshole? Yeah, literally. I also have been seeing your comments too because when I asked you guys where you listen so, so many of you were like, I listen at work as I test water soil samples

and blah blah blah and I was like, cool. Someone told me they work at a zoo or somewhere cleaning or testing water for the dolphins and they were like so the dolphins hear you and I'm like,

dolphins hear me? Talk? They know it too. Dolphins are smart. Do you think they like my voice or don't like my voice? I think. Like, how do the dolphins think I talk? Well, I'm thinking if they're exposed to that much of you,

they're probably starting to learn English. But if you went in there, they'll definitely pronounce words wrong. If you went in there and just started talking out loud, I'd bet they'd come up and check it out. Like, this is the girl we listen to. Dude, I really want to start another little thing. And maybe some of you out there could help me do this. but once a month I want to travel somewhere and like shadow a too hot taste listener on the job. That's what I just want to go to work with you. Just bring your friend Morgan to work day. That's what I'd like.

It's like dirty jobs, but Morgan's edition. It doesn't have to be dirty. Yeah. I can sit in a lab. I'll test soil samples and see what chemicals are in them. I would like that. Let me centrifuge some shit. I'm ready.

I'm ready. So if you've got a cool job, put that in the comments. I kind of want to start making a list of people and, you know, see if we could make something happen with this little show. Bomb proof suit tester. Okay, nope. Not that. Nope.

Change the light bulb on top of one of those TV towers. No. No, I just saw, I just watched that fall movie. No, thank you. A base jumper. No, please keep me on the ground. If it involves animals even better or science, some like cool science jobs.

I'd love to come be a librarian for a day. I'm really down for anything on the ground. Okay. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I'm just trying to think of the possibilities. There's so many.

There's so many. Yeah. I would go on a boat, but not through the straight that you have to take to Antarctica. That's really violent, Drake's passage. I don't want to go on a boat through that. No. The infamous story of that where the boat and all as men, they all, Am I thinking the right thing?

I don't know, but it sounds scary, so. I thought it was Antarctica. I don't know. But I am feeling a lot better. Thank you all for your well wishes. I will say I'm even more mad at AI since the beginning of this episode a couple of days ago because I literally got a message from Keana at Smosh

sending me an AI-generated ad of this podcast. And it was like two hot takes, Kalin's AI-fied body in the chair, and some random ass girl. Yeah. Like, you got replaced. I got outed.

They didn't like my face for the ad. And it's, it's so eerie and creepy. And all of two out takes is like, it's copyright protected. It's trademark protected. Like, and it's literally my podcast

and they're pushing just like a shitty product. And I'm just like, are you kidding me? So, fuck a guy. I love you guys. If you want more content, head over to Patreon.

There's some amazing, amazing episodes from April. Such good stories. And May is going to be just as good. So see you over there. And thanks for being here. Until next time. Until next time. Bye. Bye.