Two Hot Takes - 27: Put Em' in Rice...

Episode Date: August 5, 2021

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-hosts Justin and Jerry (DAD)! They're talking about stories where these peoples way of thinking is a bit broken or 'off'.  First up are the light stories! A girl's boyfriend has been taking pictures of her dad, a guy finds out its not normal to have a poop knife, a girl has been peeing on her boyfriend, an individual has a mishap with his girlfriends toy, and a woman leaves her husband in the bathroom at a restaurant after he refuses to come out. And then for the dark stories... a woman threw away pictures of her husbands deceased wife and its just coming to light because her stepdaughter wants pictures of her mom, a woman wore a white dress to her blind cousins wedding, and a guy invites his girlfriend on an expensive vacation and expects her to cover her entire share when he makes way more. As always your support is very appreciated: https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes Direct Inquiries: [e-mail]

Hi, Jan from Toyota speaking. Jan, I heard it's a good time to buy a Toyota. Sure is. From now until April 4th, you can shop all your favorites, like Corolla, RAV4, Sequoia, and more. Imagine yourself in a new tundra where... You stop by the home improvement store and finally build that tree house you promised your daughter.

Sarah? When did you hop on the call? Hi, Dad. Mom said you were taking too long on the phone. Toyota, let's go places. See your participating Toyota dealer for details. Dealer inventory may vary. Like this show and want to make your own? Let me tell you about Anchor. It's the site that I use for my podcast,

and best part, it's free. There's creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or computer, and Anchor will even distribute the podcast for you, so it can be heard on Spotify, Apple Podcast, and many more. It's everything you need to make a podcast all in one place. Download the free Anchor app, or go to anchor.fm to get started.

Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan. I'm Justin. And I'm Dad. I'm Jerry. You've been begging to be invited back. And I'm glad that you've allowed me one more shot. You didn't do bad the first time. The people loved you.

Well... You had some fans out there. I'm glad, and I thank you all my fans, and some of you recognized like my socks, so I'm glad that you understand me. We get each other. Note the socks. Oh, my gosh.

And let's roll. Let's do it. Let's dive in. Today's episode is called Put Him in Rice. These stories are about people whose thought process might be a little goofy, broken, or just unsalvageable. And when you use that word, put it in rice, I really thought you were going to talk about cell phones. Well, why do you put a cell phone in rice?

To dry it out. Because it's... Wet. They're broken. They're broken. They're broken. They're broken. They're broken.

They're broken. So, the first half is going to be broken into two parts. The first half is going to be light-hearted, a little lighter, a little funnier, and then the second part is people that are truly... Damaged. A little wacky, and you got to put them in rice. Okay.

Okay. Up first, my boyfriend, 21 male, has hundreds of pictures of my dad on his laptop. I, 21 female, confronted him about it, and he said it's for research. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. We live together, and he has a couple of laptops. One of them is a personal one, which I occasionally use.

A few days ago, I opened his laptop, which wasn't shut down, and it opened a photo album. My dad was on the thumbnail, so I clicked it. He had hundreds of photos of my dad. For the record, my dad has lots of pics available online due to his profession. Can't elaborate further. I asked my boyfriend about it, and he simply said that it's for research.

I asked him what he's researching exactly, and then he said he can't tell me because it's confidential. I told him it's very bizarre and worrying that he has a ton of my dad's pics on his personal laptop. He just gave me a weird smirk and said, quote, whatever you think it is, it's the opposite. I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone or something. His complete nonchalance, the way he's not even bothered how it comes across.

We talked about it again, and he said that he understands how I feel, but shouldn't be worried. I'm confused. This isn't normal, right? I think if it was like an innocent photo album, why not just say that? Maybe it's something to do with her too. Maybe he has a deeper wedding plan

or something else he wants to tell a story. But why isn't she in any of the pictures then? They're all pictures of her dad. Hundreds. Hundreds of pictures. Why are we always jumping to the worst conclusion? Why are you not? Because, look, I have done things for people that I care for,

and I've gone through albums and put muscled stuff together to find the right theme to do. Nothing inappropriate about it, but with all good intention. And the way that he's reacting, he's not trying to cover anything up really. He's just saying, look, trust me, this is not what you think. So I'm going to kind of let it play a little bit. I disagree, and this is maybe me watching too many crime junkie-type movies and stuff like that. But my first thought is like, okay, she can't say what her dad does.

So by that, he's high-profile. And him being like, oh, it's confidential. I can't tell you. Weird. Wait, wait, wait. Her dad is a public figure in some sense. He's a high-profile person. But the boyfriend has the pictures of the dad.

Saved. So all of his pictures, he's got a lot available online. And so my thought is this boyfriend seems obsessed with the dad. I don't think you save hundreds and hundreds of pictures of someone unless you have an obsession with them. I feel like he started dating her to get close to the dad. There's something for me. For me, it feels like there's something deeper going on here. I can see that.

So there's something to listen. It seems like it. And that's possible too. But he's getting all the pictures off the internet. Right. Maybe, but otherwise maybe their friend's on Facebook and now he has access to other pictures too. So there's a lot of comments on this one. Everyone's conclusions were like really hot takes.

Everyone pulled the trigger and shot him first? No, but a lot of people are like clearly it has something to do with your dad's profession and it's more or something other than just infatuation. If your dad is a porn star, the answer is self-evident. If your dad is a bodybuilder, model, celebrity or athlete, maybe he looks up to him. Maybe it makes him uncomfortable to tell you that he idolizes your dad. If it was something as simple as a project or a gift, he would have told you, I'm sure. Especially considering how that looks. You definitely need to sit him down and explain him that this needs to be a bigger conversation because the secrecy is not healthy and a massive red flag.

True. The first thing that still comes to my mind is his behavior through this has been one of calm. I don't think he was calm at all. He was very evasive. Whatever you think it is, it's the exact opposite. Yeah, that's weird. That's weird. It's confidential.

It's my fucking dad. Just tell me. Yeah. I mean, I come up with things that are very absurd in some of the words I choose. Someone asked me how I cooked a recipe. My answer to them is confidential. I can't tell you because if I tell you, it won't need me anymore. So I can't let you know my way I make my chicken.

So I mean, I come up with absurd shit. He came up with an absurd statement. But in reality, maybe he's really just trying to prepare something for her. My gut is not telling me it's something to elicit. It's something more that he's trying to do something that'll love for her. And I could be an idiot. Yeah, I just don't... I just feel like there's not even enough information though.

It's very... There's no way to... It's very limited. We need more. Yeah. Yeah, very limited. But also, I think to speak on the your point, okay, the first time that she was like, dude, what's up with these pictures of my dad?

And he was like, oh, it's confidential. I'd have to kill you if I told you. I get that. I would say something stupid like that. I get that. That's a one off. But then when you talk to him again, like she went to him and talked to him again. And he still wouldn't tell her and was like, whatever you think, it's the opposite.

That's when it's like, okay, buddy, let's drop the act if this is an act because this is just too weird for me. Then I think that she has to really incident that way. Say, I'm very disturbed by it. It's affecting my relationship with you. Yeah. Yeah, this top comment is the one I really like. Is your dad's profession political? I went listen to the comments about him saving the pics for gross reasons like a lot of people are saying.

And he's referring to all the comments that are like, oh, porn, your dad's in porn. I think your boyfriend has some kind of agenda to do with your dad's profession. Edit, if you can, check when the first picture was saved. If it predates your relationship, chances are he was using you to get close to your dad. Very, very bright. Yeah. But what would the pictures get you? I mean, look, you remember the movie, The Bodyguard?

I mean, point blank, there are people that stalk people and that are really twisted and they're jacked in the head. They're sick. I mean, look at the celebrities that have been murdered by fans. So I think that was a really, really bright idea. Go look at the dates of the pictures. Yeah, especially if he's not going to come clean and tell you. Right. Because this is like, this could be for your own safety.

And sometimes it's always better to know the answer before you ask the question. Yes, I would agree, especially if you are dealing with someone who's going to lie to you and brush you off like this. This comment is actually really interesting on here too. Reminds me of Lisa Marie Presley. She said her marriage to Nick Cage was toxic because he was an obsessive Elvis fan. Their relationship felt like she was just a part of his collection of memorabilia. That is freaking crazy. And I love Nick Cage so much.

So that just makes me feel so icky. But he was so obsessed with Elvis. He had to have his daughter. Ew. Oh, wow. Okay. Well, moving along from that. That was a twist I didn't need to hear.

I know. I know. It made me really sad. I almost wore my Nick Cage t-shirt tonight too. Okay. Up next. This is a Reddit classic. If you've been around Reddit, it's an oldie but a goodie.

There's actually a subreddit called Museum of Reddit and they save like the top of the Hall of Fame type post. Yeah. So this one is in there. It's called The Poop Knife. I was 22 years old when I learned that not every family has a poop knife. My family poops big. Maybe it's genetic.

Maybe it's our diet. But everyone bursts giant logs of crap. If anyone has laid a mega poop, you know that sometimes it won't flush. It lays across the hole in the bottom of the bowl and the vortex of draining water merely gives it a spin as it mocks you. Growing up, this was a common enough occurrence that our family had a poop knife. It was an old rusty kitchen knife that hung on a nail in the laundry room only to be used for that purpose.

It was normal to walk through the hallway and have someone call out, Hey, can you give me the poop knife? I thought it was standard kit. You have your plunger, your toilet brush, and your poop knife. Fast forward to 22 years old. It's been a day or two between poops and I'm at my friend's house. My friend was the local dealer and always had guests over because you can't buy weed without sitting on your ass and sampling it for an hour.

I excuse myself and lay a gigantic turd. I look down and see that it's a sideways one. So I cracked the door and call out for my friend. He arrives and I ask him for the poop knife. My what? Your poop knife, I say. I need to use it, please. What the fuck is a poop knife?

Obviously has one, but maybe he calls it by a more delicate name, a fecal cleaver, a dung divider, a guano glaive. I explain what it is I want and why I want it. He starts giggling, then laughing, then lots of people start laughing. It turns out the music stopped and everyone heard my pleas through the door. It also turns out that none of them had poop knives. It was just my fucked up family with their fucked up bowels. Fuck my life.

I told this to my wife last night who was amused and horrified at the same time. It turns out that she did not know what a poop knife was and had been using the old rusty knife hanging in the utility closet as a basic utility knife. Thankfully, she didn't cook with it, but used it to open Amazon boxes. Oh my God. She will be getting her own utility knife now. Well, thank you for selecting this one.

You know how I love to hear about your fecal edit. I want to know the first time that the family realized. I want to be there for the first conversation of when they decided this was necessary. I know. How does that even come up? How does this become a thing that's normal in the family? Yeah, I don't get it. Also, the fact that it just hung in the laundry room versus it was in the bathroom

or a more easily accessible place. If you're home alone, do you just grab it on the way in? I don't know. Or you sit there and wait. Also, how do you get to 20-some years of age and realize that nobody else has this? How is that the first time that this has happened to you outside of your home? I think what he should have done is just punish them by leaving it in the toilet. That would have been quite the sight to walk into.

But just how do you never have a sleepover? You're never out in public. You're never somewhere and realize that that's not a thing. What do they do on vacation? Right. Do they bring it with them? It might be a disposable one. I feel like if it's that big of a turd, a plastic knife would break it.

I think we should go back and discuss the boyfriend taking pictures of the father. So there is an edit. Common question. Why was this not in the bathroom instead of the laundry room? Answer, we only had one poop knife and the laundry room was central to all three bathrooms. I have no idea why we didn't have three poop knives. Yeah, for real. And did they get up in the middle of the whole thing and go chase, walk out first and come back with the knife?

All I know is that we didn't. We had the one, possibly because my father was notoriously cheap about the weirdest things. So yes, we shared our poop knife. Was this in the hills of Kentucky? He doesn't say. The top comment on this one. My friend's sister laid a huge turd in the toilet. She couldn't get it to flush.

So she just casually strolls into the kitchen while me and my buddy are watching Friday night videos and grabs a pocket knife from the junk drawer, goes back towards the bathroom. My buddy is like, hey, what the F you need that knife for? So she says the toilet won't flush. Their dad hears this, jumps up and runs down the bathroom and screams, who shit this turd? Which brings mom into the bathroom. She freaks out. Now all five of us are in the throne room in admiration of her magnificent turd.

The dad asks, what is the knife for? And a sister goes, it's what I used to cut them. Yeah, that's what she said. It was silent until her mom asked, how long have you been cutting turds with that knife? I'm dying. My friend is in tears. She goes, well, since we're all here, I guess the secret is out. So I get massive turds on my period.

So for about six years, mom, she goes to leave and her dad grabs her and says, cut the cheese, sweet pea. And that's your knife now. That's it. I can't breathe. I'm laughing so hard. She is in tears. Her mom is mortified and her dad was trying to be supportive. My buddy and I are being total jackasses.

Her dad pulls us aside and threatened to kick the shit out of us if a word of Sir Turdly of Bummertown gets out of the house. We never said a word about it outside of their house, but we were brutal to her at home. Wow. It is practical though. It does make sense. Because what else? I would just use the plunger. Those toilets that literally suck.

Whatever you put in there. It's like the airplane. Well, they do make these toilet flush systems that are pressurized. When you flush, they just pull whatever in there down. I mean, turds is not a rock. Is that what happens on a plane? Yeah. It's vacuum.

So this family would not have trouble on a plane? No. I've had trouble on a plane though. Did you need a knife? I didn't need a knife. I had to awkwardly sit there with my foot on the paddle. I was a flight attendant, as a lot of people know now. So to stay awake on some of these long trips, I would have a bunch of coffee.

Sometimes there's not enough suction, plus toilet paper, plus the water that shoots. We know what we're getting her for her birthday. A poop knife. No, but it would just get stuck on the sides of the bowl. No chance in hell you're going to stick your hand in there with more toilet paper to push it off the side. There's no plungers. So you're just kind of fucked.

You just kind of have to like sit there and let the water fill up, flush, flush, flush. And they're so loud too. And they're so loud. Yeah. Well, that wasn't fun. This is personal for me, but the common solution that I've ever, if I ever had a toilet issue, is I take the trash can, fill it with water from the bathtub, and I use that to pour into the toilet and whatever is there, it pushes it right down.

Okay. That's a good strategy. Yeah, it is. And certainly I've never ever, in my inventive mind, never thought about getting a knife and cutting things, stirring the pot, getting the ladle, any of these other kitchen utensils. I feel like I've broken up a turd with a plunger though. Like you just kind of like smush the plunger around. Well, if you have a problem, take the trash can, fill it with water, and just neat and

cleanly just dump it in and it will push whatever. I'll do that. My trash can is a metal basket. I'll do that, and then when it comes out all over the floor over here, I'll call you in. You won't need to. If you do it with talent and you do it with finesse, it all goes down. Oh my gosh. Well, that's the poop knife, guys.

All right. Time to roll on. Please. I beg you. So, moving away from poop, but bringing up more bodily functions. Oh, God. Hi, Jan from Toyota speaking. Jan, I heard it's a good time to buy a Toyota.

Sure is. From now until April 4th, you can shop all your favorites like Corolla, RAV4, Sequoia, and more. Imagine yourself in a new tundra where- You stopped by the home improvement store and finally built that tree house. You promised your daughter. Sarah? When did you hop on the call?

Hi, Dad. Mom said you were taking too long on the phone. Toyota, let's go places. See your participating Toyota dealer for details. Dealer inventory may vary. I, 33 female, have been lying to my boyfriend, 32 male, about squirting during sex. And now I'm in too deep and the truth is too embarrassing. My boyfriend and I have been going steady the last two years.

I won't bore you with too many details, but just know it's been wonderful. We click on multiple levels and I believe we could click sexually too. But I messed up early on in our dating days and I'm not sure how to go back. The first time we had sex, we were both quite tipsy. Okay, so I was straight up drunk, but please know I was consenting. This is important because this would never happen when I was sober. He was pounding me while I was on top and I... lost control of my bladder.

I seriously pissed all over him and his bed. I was mortified and started bawling and climbing off him. When he stopped me and told me it was super hot and he'd never made a girl squirt like that before. I was still in shock and went with it. Sure, yeah, I squirted, right. And he couldn't smell the pee. Anyways, ever since that night, if we have sex and I don't squirt, he feels bad and like he didn't do a good job.

I just kept going with it and forcing myself to pee. The carpet, our couch, mattress, curtains, and our quilted headboard have been ruined and it straight up smells like piss despite my efforts to clean. I don't know how he doesn't know. I even broached pee play in a joking way to see if he did know and he was like, So he definitely thinks it's squirt. I really want to stop destroying the house and once COVID is over, I'd like to have company over. It has to stop, but I don't know how to tell him now without making him feel totally disgusted and lied to.

Please help. I'll take any ideas into consideration because I honestly can't see a way out. So what you do is you start sticking a water balloon up there. I think that she should really teach him how to make her squirt. What if she can't though? Not everyone can squirt. Okay. Not in my experience.

Well, I think the misconception too is that squirting feels similar to an orgasm. It's a border and some women are not really prepared for the feeling they think they're actually going to urinate. They don't allow themselves. It takes a lot of trust and a lot of time sometimes to get there. It still is though, right? No. Partially. Yes.

Squirting comes from your bladder. So it does contain. Comes from your vaginal sponge. No, it doesn't. Okay. Okay. Let's look it up. Oh, here we go.

Squirting originates from the bladder as there isn't any other structure within that area of the female anatomy that's able to hold that much liquid or propellant with that much water. Much strength. Squirting is the expulsion of a diluted fluid from the urinary bladder. Squirting comes from the bladder. Okay. And gushing does come from the prostate. The prostate. Okay.

So with squirting, yes, it does contain scant amount of urine, pee. Yeah. I think a lot of like, I think the misconception for a lot of dudes is that squirting equals orgasm, which it does not. It does not. So this guy is probably like, oh, I'm doing a good job because I'm making her squirt little. Does he know? Like, that's not it. Like for a lot of people, they don't even experience any pleasure from squirting.

So it's like, like, buddy. But what's even worse is she played into it so heavily now. She should talk to him. It's bad. It's bad. I would have addressed it like. Immediately. The first time I would have been like, you know what, like, I actually don't even enjoy squirting.

Like, even if you don't, even if you don't want to come clean about it, okay, whatever. But like, yeah, that was just like, squirting is a reflexive response. It doesn't equal orgasm. It doesn't equal pleasure for me. Just because I didn't squirt doesn't mean you didn't do a good job. You've been in a relationship with this person now for so long. You just need to. Right.

Which would have been fine at first. And it's like, if he's then really upset about it, then that's his problem. But now that you've played into it and built it up to be this huge thing. Now almost he is the reason to be upset when you're like, yeah, I was faking it the whole time. I've just been lying about it. Yeah. You're just like, oh, gay. What?

I know. She got to come clean though. Yeah. I mean, definitely. Top comment on this one. This is one of the funniest examples of why lying is a piss poor idea. And then they go, literally just read him this post. It will be fine.

The next comment. I agree, OP. If you don't come clean now, you're in a lot more awkwardness in the future. For the rest of her life. But they spell you're in. Yeah. They meant to be very punny. Yes.

Good job. Someone goes, honestly, it probably won't be fine. Normally I would be like, oh yeah, no worries. Just explain it and he will get it. But to learn that your partner has been pissing on you and all of your things for two years, all to keep up a lie when there were literally a million other reasonable ways to explain what happened. OP, it sounds like you want to keep this relationship so you have two options.

Tell him the truth and hope he gets it. He may not. Or stop pissing on everything and explain to him that squirting doesn't equal mind blowing sex and make up an excuse for why you don't squirt anymore. Which is exactly what I said. Also, I am aware of the ongoing debate about whether squirt is pee or not or some crazy mixture of fluids. There's a big difference between maybe a little pee while she's squirting and she was

never a squirter. She was actually forcing herself to piss on me to maintain a lie. Also, the pelvic floor control this woman has to be able to... Imagine how hard it is to pee even right after sex. Sort of literally be able to release your bladder like mid-pump during sex. That would take so much. It's a lot of effort to go down this whole rabbit hole. Yeah.

She played herself. So, up next. Today, I fucked up by sticking a sex toy to my girlfriend's forehead. Some context. I wrote this a while back. However, my girlfriend of the time begged me not to post the story. So the draft sat on my phone. Having come across the story in my notes and having had a good laugh, it's time to share.

I'm just not going to post it as I wrote. Today, I fucked up when my girlfriend decided that she would take me through her sex toy collection. Everything started off rather coy as we have only been dating a couple months. Little did I know, my inner child was about to sabotage myself. Amongst the menagerie of toys was an 8-inch clear dildo with a suction cup on the bottom. Having only ever seen these online, read about one in an educational book, I was fascinated to see if they actually stuck to walls.

After sticking it to the bed head and seeing it stick there convincingly, my inner child had to test its limits. Roof? Yes. Palm of my hand? Yes. Knee? Yes.

Then, a brilliant idea struck. I wonder if it would stick to a forehead. To protect my delicate masculinity, it can't be stuck to my forehead. So, next best thing. Left a ring. I planted square in the middle of my girlfriend's forehead. Surprisingly, it stuck well. She has become the kind of unicorn that gives small children nightmares and brawnies wet

dreams. This killed us both for a good five minutes as she had just become the embodiment of a dick head and we were making puns like we were on fire. Upon recovering from the hilarity, she went to take it off. Apparently, pulling it off had hurt a little. So, when she went into the bathroom to check it out, the suction cup had actually left a large red blotchy, perfectly circular hickey on her forehead. It was the circumference of a pool ball and it looked angry.

Wow. She wasn't happy. Needless to say, I could only see the funny side of this and she was convinced she would need a truckload of makeup to get this looking somewhat reasonable for any meetings at work. I am now sleeping on the full-dote sofa, questioning my life choices. My girlfriend feels she looks like she belongs in Avatar, the last airbender, as lost air temple member with a giant circle on forehead and I can't stop laughing. I love it.

That's so good. Time heals all and turns these stories into comedy. They're going to be just fine. It's funny to think of him sleeping on the couch with just absolutely no regret because she was also into it. They made many jokes about it and had a lot of fun. Of course, when then, you have the consequence after you're upset. I just want to know when she sent him to the couch, did the dildo go with him?

His new friend. That's a good question. I guess that would be hard to cover up, right? But I saw that one coming. As soon as I saw that thing coming. Hard to miss. Damn, those suction cups must be real. They do make these stick to a forehead though.

She should have had the one for him with the chin guard on it, so it's actually like a chin dildo. You have one of those? I'm not familiar with that. Years ago. Really? Oh, God, yes. I've tried them all.

What, and then you just pegged someone with your face? Yeah, you do both in your tongue at the same time. Oh, that's kind of smart. I brought it home for her. She said, bring me back a present from L.A. and so I did. That's probably my mom. It was not mom. Thank God.

It was not your mom. Thank God. Your mom was not a candidate for any of this stuff. Which is so funny because she talks about stuff now and I'm like, interesting, okay. Your mom was not the candidate. That's wacky. By the way, it also came complete with the glasses but with the two headlights. What?

It had glasses. The gift was I brought the chin dildo and then there were glasses framed with no lenses but with two headlights. I wanted to be funny. Oh, my God. You looked like a little miner with a dick on your face. Literally. I'm so weird.

Top comment on this one. I'm sharing this with my daughter. Unbelievable. My antics. Yeah. Well. And me. And me.

Justin. No, I mean, I've heard your stories. You had sex while you were flying your plane. Plus or minus 50 feet. And there's no autopilot on that. He's dated Playboy bunnies. He's broken into the Kentucky Derby and partied with like George Bush senior. Well, we didn't party.

We're just, we were at a table. You just write a chase into where they were. You were drinking together. I saw the pics. So top comment on this one. This about the 10th dildo on the forehead story I've read on here. It appears it's much more common than I would have thought. The next one.

This is the first I've ever seen. Never thought about it. But now that I do, I would expect every couple to have tried this at least once if either party owns such a dildo. I mean, dickhead unicorn. How does one not think of trying it out? Well, the thing I think about is like when I used to have to use the suction cup on my windshield for my phone, told my phone while I was driving. Yeah.

Every day I feel like that thing would fall off. Yeah. Even the little shelves you can put in your shower that are suction cup. They always fall. They always suck. How does this one? Leave a big hit. Yeah.

Like what's up? Why is the best suction cup? I have a bigger question. Why were they putting on her forehead? I mean, there was no fun for it. He said his masculinity couldn't take the hit to have a dick on his face. Fragile. Yeah.

Which is well written and very funny. Yeah. This was very well written. I don't know. I feel like Hickeys are so easy to give and get. My little brother, we were going to a baseball game once and he had his lips in a Gatorade bottle and he was sucking the air out of the Gatorade bottle. And the poor kid, he was so little too.

I was taking him on a road trip. He had swollen lips. To a baseball game. Yeah. He had swollen lips and a black and blue ring all the way around his lips. Oh my gosh. It's like the suction. There's something with the pole that I don't know.

It breaks the blood vessels. It's like more than a bruise. It's easier than a bruise somehow. It's broken blood vessels. Yeah. Which a bruise is like blood under the surface of the skin, but it's different. It's like pecti... Pecti...

Patechia is what it's called. It's like a different kind of bruising that's like blotchy broken blood vessels. Patechia. I'm not going to remember that. Everybody remember that word for when you're playing Scrabble? Yes. The new Scrabble word of the night. Patechia.

I don't know if I remember going to get this image out of my head. I know. Oh. The image of him. Oh. Yeah. With the headlights and all. Oh, yes.

That was a little... Yes. And every time you cycle to the next one, you always leave the toys with the last one. Yeah. You don't. You never take them with you. No. You leave them with that partner.

You leave them with the partner. They're her toys. They're her toys. Yeah. I read that story recently about, I just live on Reddit. It's just, I don't have anything else going on. But I saw this one story about this girl writing in and she was like, my boyfriend wants me to wear his ex's lingerie.

And I'm like, ew. No. I was always wearing the lingerie with the next person. So. But it's on one body. My body. I know. I know.

Which is different. I get that. Yeah. But like her pussy was in those panties and stuff. Well, I'm not changing my penis. It goes from the same, it always travels with me. Gotta wrap it up. You be careful, mister.

Condoms, you guys. Save sex. Whip out the old chindle though and you'll be good to go. That was, that was the best story. Okay. Let's. I get a sweet smile when I think of that story. Let's not scar these people forever.

This is the last of the lighthearted before we. Transition to the darker. Getting ready. Getting ready for it. Okay. Hi, Jan from Toyota speaking. Jan, I heard it's a good time to buy a Toyota. Sure is.

From now until April 4th, you can shop all your favorites like Corolla, RAV4, Sequoia and more. Imagine yourself in a new tundra where. You stopped by the home improvement store and finally built that tree house. You promised your daughter. Sarah, when did you hop on the call? Hi dad. Mom said you were taking too long on the phone.

Toyota, let's go places. See your participating Toyota dealer for details. Dealer inventory may vary. Am I the asshole for leaving my husband at the restaurant and going home? My husband, Justin, started spending a lot of time inside the bathroom after we moved into our new home. We're talking 45 minutes for just peeing four to five times a day. It's so irritating, but since he uses the guest bathroom, this only annoyed me when

I'm waiting for him to eat or go out or do anything together or even when we have guests over. Days ago, he took me out for dinner after he got off work. We went to the restaurant, sat at the table and looked at the menu. Once the waitress came and took our orders, Justin started looking at around saying he needed to go to the restroom. I felt something was wrong and kept worrying about him wanting to use the restroom and staying there for a long time.

So, before he went, I gently reminded him that we were at a restaurant. Therefore, he shouldn't take too long inside the restroom. He made a face and told me to knock it off because he'd be back in a minute. Where's the phone? Ten minutes passed and I felt annoyed. Another eight or so passed and he was still in there. I literally started calling his phone and texting him to get out when our order arrived. I was getting fed up and the food was getting cold, so I entered the men's restroom looking

embarrassed as hell and coming behind each door asking if he was in there. And you hear her coming too. For sure. Yeah. Tilly replied that he'd be out in a few seconds. I went back to the table and started eating after over five minutes of waiting. Ten plus eight plus five. Plus the time she went in.

Twenty-three, twenty-five minutes give or take. I called his phone one last time after I was finished, but he hung up on me. I was very, very upset. I just asked the waitress to split the bill, paid, left a tip and walked out. I got home by Uber. I can't drive because of my medical condition. And nearly twenty minutes later, Justin got home looking upset, asking what the heck I just did. He asked why I left him there and went home all of a sudden.

I told him he was taking too much time in the restroom and had me wait for nearly forty minutes while dinner was cold and I was starving. He pitched a fit and gave a lecture about how selfish I was to abandon him there, even though I called and he hung up, but he said his battery died. He said he thought our meal was going to take time, so he went to use the restroom and I should have waited for him a little longer after I notified him about the meal. But I was too selfish. I was very upset and said this will in fact be the last time we go out for dinner if he's going to act like that.

This was irritating, not just for me, but the public as well. Imagine keeping the restroom busy for forty minutes where customers need it. Thank goodness the place wasn't packed. I told him that and he gave me the nastiest look I've ever seen and said I was at fault for leaving and ruining our dinner together. He said he was only upset that I paid for my dinner, even though he was the one who invited me out. Should I have just waited?

Hell no. Hell no. She had the best response ever. She handled it. She tried. Like a fucking champ. She went in the damn men's room. She was in there.

What? What else can you do? I'd like to know what the minutes are on this guy's phone. Who he's texting, who he's calling, what's going on, who's this attention focused on? Because let me tell you, I don't care how old you are, it doesn't take you that long to pee. No, and even if you have some horrible medical condition.

I don't know when. Morgan's great at the computer. She can go look up what diseases are there, keep a guy urinating for forty five. They don't exist. No, there's definitely, yeah. There's a lot of condition. A lot of people are incontinent.

A lot of people don't have great control over their bladder. I mean, there's so, so, so many. There's an unlimited amount of medical conditions that could cause this. For forty five minutes? All the time? I mean, he could have to go every couple of minutes. And she's not going to know what's really going on? Well, that's the thing is you would.

You would? You would. There's something else going on here. So she gives an edit to say that he doesn't have a medical condition. Otherwise, I would have mentioned it. And yes, he takes his phone with him every time. I also forgot to mention our ages. I'm 28 and he's 32.

We've been married for over a year. I think someone's got a little bit of a porn addiction. He's fucking around. This is just unacceptable. And that's like the privacy of going home too. Oh yeah, for sure. When you go to a restaurant, it's already awkward pooping in public restaurants, typically for most people.

I just create a lot of noise with the toilet paper, so I don't have any issue. I cut the guy who has 10,000 pictures of his girlfriend. I cut him all the slack in the world. This guy, we're hanging by the nuts. No, there's something weird, for sure. Yeah, I am. Lady, you are not the asshole. Not the asshole at all.

I think leaving him was honestly generous. I think leaving him, period. Yeah, you've only been married for a year. Honestly, this is really weird. It's just dicey. The fact that she doesn't know, too, and this has been going on, like four to five times a day, he goes into the bathroom for 45 minutes, which means he's in the bathroom for four to five hours a day.

What? He does this. He goes into the bathroom for 45 minutes at a time, typically, she said. We're talking 45 minutes for just peeing, four to five times a day. So he is in the bathroom for four hours a day, and he does it when guests come over. Okay, even if he's talking to someone else, you're not going to take that long. No. Even if he has a porn addiction.

This is a porn addiction. Are you really going to take that long? Yeah, you're addicted. I don't know if it's a porn addiction as much as it might be somebody else also. That much time a day? I don't think. When I was young, and I was into somebody, and I was out of any other relationship or not quite there yet, and I would disappear.

I know that I would be somewhere else texting back and forth. The hemorrhoids sitting on the toilet that long. Your legs would for sure be numb. I would look for any excuse in the world to get away from where I was to go talk to that person. Yeah, I don't know how this poor girl has not gone more nuts. This is ringing bells and behaviors I did back when I was 30. When you were a shithead.

When I was a shithead. You just sit in the bathroom for six hours. I didn't mean I was in the bathroom. I know, but that's what makes it so different. I would go anywhere I could if it was the bathroom was the answer. I'd be in the bathroom. But even if you were cheating or trying to be like typically when you're cheating you're more discreet about it.

Like she's obviously caught on at this point. Right. And why go out when you like take your wife out to dinner. You're trying to have a nice time. Talk to that person in the bathroom for 45 minutes when you get home. Why do it at a restaurant? Unless he's just simply going in the bathroom to do exactly what he said. Porn and jerking off.

He's that addicted to where he literally this is just his constant thought process. And there are people that really suffer with this out there where it's all they think about all day, every day. They're just addicted. And a lot of the comments too. Drugs, porn, cheating. Got to be one of them. B or C or D all the above.

So four options. One, he's cheating. Two, he has some horrible medical condition already ruled out. Yep. He's addicted to something on his phone, gambling games, porn, or he's doing drugs. Either way, it's wild that he's trying to spin this onto her being the problem. Of course he is though. 40 minutes on the toilet is ridiculous.

I can't wait for the update when she lets us know what terrible thing he's doing and that she's leaving him. She should put a camera in the bathroom. Honestly, it's quite the invasion of privacy. I'm sorry. Her marriage stems on this. But if you can't have your partner open up to you about this. Put a camera.

Okay, moving along. Interesting one. If you guys want to keep your day light and not super sad and aggressive, whatever. Leave now. Leave now. That's me. Can I leave? Leave now.

Okay. So here's where things start to get a little dark. Let's go. I hate dark. We love the dark. These are truly the people that need to be thrown in a fucking bin of rice. I like to say I grew up in the dark because when I grew up in my house, we'd always turn the lights off if we weren't in the room.

And so it's like very always bright and lit up here, but I like to say I grew up in the dark because I kind of did. Okay. Well, maybe you'll have a... So I'm ready. You'll be ready? A lot to say about these stories then. I'm ready.

The thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking. I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays and lighters. I started exercising instead of smoking. Staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key. I kept on trying. Learned something each time. Do whatever it takes.

No matter how many times it takes. We did it. So can you. For free and confidential help, call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit waytoquit.org. Developed by CDC. I, female 35, threw away old photos of my husband, male 44, with his late wife years ago.

He just found out and hates me for it. I met my husband four years ago and it was love at first sight. He was a widow and had a daughter, now 17. It was tough to deal with. I won't lie. But I wanted to be with him so badly that it didn't matter. We got married two years ago and we've had our struggles. I won't deny.

But overall, it has been a very happy, love-filled marriage. At the beginning of our relationship, I was really jealous of his late wife. He had pictures of her around his home. His family loved her and talked about her. His daughter, the same thing. His friends, the same. It was tough.

I was comparing myself to her. She was beautiful, intelligent, successful. She was a great mother, friend, wife, whatever you can think of. I know that people don't like to speak ill of the dead, but I believe them when they say these things. I did speak to my then-boyfriend about these feelings and he even took down some of the pictures later in our relationship. Still, his house never felt like my home,

as it felt like it was still hers. When we got engaged, we decided we would buy our own home and we moved in right before we got married. Side note, this was very stressful with the wedding, so soon after, would not recommend. During the moving process, I found box after box of old photos and other materials. Photos of his ex, family photos, photos of them together,

baby photos, everything. Some of these were polaroids. They were so old. They had been together for many, many years and had so much history together. I don't know why at that moment, I snapped, but I did. I threw the ones with her away. When we were putting photos up in the new house,

I didn't put any of her except one with my stepdaughter. There was a box of her things and I donated some of the items and threw the rest away. I even went on to the computer and deleted photos he had stored on there. At the time, I felt like I won, maybe. I don't even know what I was thinking. This would accomplish, but I did it.

For the past two years, my husband hasn't noticed. My stepdaughter turns 18 soon. She's a very intelligent girl. She graduated early, goes to a top tier school and is very well adjusted for someone who lost her mom so young. We have never been that close. I care for her, I do, but she never opened up to me and has never viewed me as a mom to her.

I understand, but it hurts. Anyways, my husband's mom wanted photos of her as she was putting something together for her. He went to look for them and as you can imagine, they weren't there. He asked me about them and I admitted everything to him as I wasn't going to lie to him. He's very angry at me and can barely look at me. I've asked him to go to marriage counseling, but he refuses.

I'm 13 weeks pregnant and I'm trying to manage the stress. He's devastated, not just for his daughter, but for himself. I know he loved his late wife very much and if she was still there, he'd probably still be with her. He's been in tears half the time when he's speaking to me and won't sleep in the same room as me. I've tried to explain that I have felt guilt ever since and why I did it, but he doesn't care.

He asked me what he's supposed to tell his daughter. Some of the materials I donated slash threw away were really important. I know that I screwed up. I know that I need to make this up to my husband and his daughter, but I don't know how to. This was such a monumental screw-up on my part. I've always been jealous of her and I did not handle my emotions correctly. I've tried to track down photos of her by other people

and while I did find some from his parents and her friends, her parents died when she was young and she was raised by her grandparents who are now dead. There aren't many out there. Reddit, I love my husband and want to fix this more than anything. I know that I am hormonal right now and my mind is wandering around to every outcome that could happen, but what if this is the end of my marriage?

I can't let that happen. I need to fix this. That's terrible. The first thought that I had was, obviously, look, she recognizes everything. The one thing that she didn't recognize, which was too bad, is that he married her and as much as that she realized how amazing his first wife was

and who she was, that he would never have married anyone that was less of that kind of a person so she didn't give herself enough credit and caved in to her own insecurity. Rather than take the confidence, that's why he married her in the first place, because how wonderful she is. Yeah, you screwed up.

You took away something that was really for her daughter. And as much as that he loved her as well, he really was protecting, and I really can't say, I can't speak for him, I can only put myself in that place, that I would protect everything I can for my daughter and my kids that they have of their mother, because they need to know that that's where the child connects.

And the daughter will come to her with realizing that she is secure and if she was. Her insecurity is her downfall and she needs to get some assistance with that. Yeah, this to me is absolutely, absolutely, absolutely unhinged. I again and again come across Reddit stories where people are with these partners and these partners are so insecure of people that are no longer around.

Like you're competing with a ghost. Right. That person has no chance of ever coming back in the picture, ever competing with you, ever filling that role again. Like you are truly competing with someone who's gone. And that's just something I will never understand. Like I get being insecure. Like yeah, she was a great mom, a great wife.

If she was alive, we would. He wouldn't be still with her because that's the kind of guy he was. He was in love and he wasn't going to go leave his marriage. Exactly. And so yeah, like just. And that's why you married him and that's why you married him. Yes, you can. That can be said like, oh yeah, he wouldn't be with you,

but you are with him. And if you weren't with him, you probably would have met someone amazing too. Who's not to say that you wouldn't have a great husband and relationship that you love just because it's not with him. You guys wouldn't have crossed paths. It wouldn't have been. You manipulated the situation and that is the worst thing you can do in a relationship to manipulate.

This is so unhinged and like, I get taking pictures down. You moved in together. You're starting your life. You don't want to see reminders of this woman. Even though she's gone, you don't want to see these reminders constantly. I understand that.

I still think it's unfair, especially to the daughter. But I get that. So hide the boxes in the attic. Don't look at them. To donate them and throw pictures. Polaroids, so old. And at the time,

she knew what she was doing was wrong even at the time, but she was so fucking unhinged. So I would say that anyone else that's reading this, that's in a situation that they're fighting some of these same things, seek help. Therapy, you guys. If you are dealing with demons like this, where you just think so less of yourself

and you're so insecure, and we've all had tough moments. And you're going to devastate other people's lives and their feelings. Therapy. Work on yourself. First. Because this is terrible. And like, the daughter's 17 now.

They got married four years ago. And I think she said the wife died a couple years before that. Right? Like three years before. So the daughter was 10. Right. And her comments about, she's never looked at me like a mother.

I get it. But it hurts. She was 10 when she lost her mom. She wasn't a baby. She knows who her mom was. She has full fledged, full formed memories of her mom. Her job is to be a friend.

Her job is to just come in. Be a role model. Be supportive. But you're never going to be that girl's mom. Some children do want to adopt that step parent as a motherly figure. And that's amazing if you can have that relationship. I've seen other stories like that. But what did you,

you thought you were going to be her new mommy? When I came into your mom's life, your brother was five. And the one thing that I never wanted to do is ever pretend that I was going to be his dad. I was going to be a male figure that he can come to, talk to, always be there for him. And that was it.

And if he wanted more, I'm there for that. But I never pressed myself to be his quote, quote, dad. And today he's my son. And I'm his dad. But that didn't happen because I forced it. That was something that he did on his own. And he came to that conclusion.

What do we tell this woman today? And what advice do we have or thoughts do we have for her, for her marriage going forward? I don't know if she deserves that family. I think if it happened to me, if I were the husband in this sense, I think it just, even though it was a spur of the moment decision

that had been building up for a while, making that choice and actually following through with it, I would always have a distrust going forward, thinking something like that could happen again. Well, then she has to recognize that and have to work on how to build that trust. That's really what it is. It's about the trust.

Because there is a new baby involved here. There is a life here. But you can still co-parent with someone very amicably. If they can bring it up and grow from the pain, look, every relationship has pain. I had plenty of pain in my relationship. But it's not, I think what's different here is it's not the fact that it's just between these two partners.

Pain, when you submit your partner to pain, that's different. You can choose between you two as a partnership to grow and overcome that. But look at the damage she just caused to a 17-year-old girl. That is all she had left of her mother. And it's gone. I can understand a little bit of the feeling

of being compared and judged and constantly hearing it from everyone almost to the point where it's like, okay, well, you know, here's what we're doing now. Here are the great times him and I have had. Yes, I respect her and whatever. But I can see how that can get under your skin.

However, I can just not imagine going onto the computer and pressing delete or grabbing physical pictures and putting them in the trash. There's no doubt, she lost her shit. It's just crazy. She went temporarily insane.

She went insane. To that point, it's one thing if you're moving and you find the boxes and you're triggered by all the boxes, all that physical stuff in front of you. But then she went so out of her way to get onto his computer and clean the computer out to you. Exactly. She lost her shit.

She's a malicious bitch. She is malicious. Oh, I get there's a baby on the way, but I'm sorry, I do not think this woman deserves this family. Because he hasn't even told the daughter yet and when this little girl finds out, she's not going to want a relationship

at all with this woman. I sure wouldn't. This woman would be done in my book. Done. This is so, so disgusting and so hurtful. There's no coming back from this. I get she did this in the heat of the moment. It was all out of anger.

She lost it. She snapped. But then after throwing stuff away and after you cool down, don't you think you would have been like, shit. Okay, wait. No, that was wrong. I need to go try to get this shit back. So let's talk about one other thing. Where is the computer

that she deleted? Number one, because number two, you can recover a drive. I have had stuff and I went through and I did complete disc recoveries. You don't have all the sub-directories. You don't have the extensions. It's basically a number

dot and then it replaces now what extensions you want to put on it. You got to figure it out. It's tough, but it's there. It just pulls the extension off is what it really does. So it's unreadable. Two years later now.

That's the other thing. I got it. She's grasping it. It literally straws. If there's a straw to be had, it's worth a shot to give it a shot. No. Yeah.

It doesn't take away the insanity. That's something that they're going to have to work on in that trust. Yeah. She needs help. So this is an oldie. This happened four years ago. There was no update.

She removed the post and this one kind of flew under the radar. There was only 175 comments on this one. The top one is pretty long, but I'll read a little bit of it. Forget marriage counseling. A therapist for yourself might be a good first step.

This isn't a you and him problem. This is a you problem. Your jealousy and impulsivity have done your relationship serious harm. So working on that seems like it should be a priority and whatever you do, don't you dare try and justify this to him in any way.

Your best bet is to fall on your sword and admit you fucked up with no qualifications. Start adding little asides like, but I was jealous or but anything and that may well be the end of everything. This has nothing to do with him and everything to do

with you. So own that 100%. There's a bunch of edits in her thing too. And whenever you address it with him or his daughter, focus on their feelings and what you basically stole from them. Let them express their unhappiness and anger however they see fit. Yes, it'll be hard

but it's the only option here. Try and drag any sympathy out of them for your situation slash feelings or try and tell them not to feel however they feel and you'll lose whatever molecule of respect or understanding they might have. Playing up your own guilty feelings is not

the approach to take care. Yeah quote, I wasn't going to lie to him and quote, I felt guilty ever since are what rubbed me up the wrong way aside from you, you know the whole thing. You didn't feel guilty ever since. If you'd felt guilty even afterwards

you could have retrieved the items, dug through the garbage, something. But you're only feeling guilty now because you're finally facing consequences for your actions and don't try and claim moral high ground with, I wasn't going to lie to him. I realize now why the idea of you trying to play for sympathy came to me

because that's what you're already doing. Your stepdaughter is likely going to resent you forever. Whatever your husband does or however you try to fix it he's invested enough to maybe try if you're really lucky because of marriage and a baby. By your stepdaughter consider yourself lucky if she ever

talks to you again. An OP replied, I will not try to justify it to him at all, I know it is indefensible he's never done anything to make me feel like he didn't love me. My mom asked me years ago if I was okay with this as she didn't think I was she was right. But I loved my husband so much

already that it didn't matter to me. I've struggled with being impulsive before but it's never been this bad. I like, I get her comment like oh I just loved him so much and nothing mattered. But to that point when you love someone so much

that's obsession. I mean love that's obsession. No, it's an unhealthy obsession. Right. When you love someone so much you love them for who they are. They're past made them who they are. It shaped them. Right. This was obsession. This was obsession.

It's again so unhinged that she wanted him no matter what. She had to have him. Like her comment she wanted to win. Yeah, she did. As she said. So someone goes, they like

reply back to what she said at the time I felt like I won maybe and they popped off. She's dead. Of course you won. Jesus Christ. What you did was so beyond wrong it's inexcusable. It was evil. Not just to him but you threw away photos of your step-daughter's mother

because you felt you were somehow in competition with her. It's unfixable. If you're marriage ends because of this it will be because you made a horrible choice. All you can do is pray your husband forgives you. And OP goes, I know that she's dead.

I've always been jealous of her and it was all in my own head. I was very insecure because I know that if she was here we wouldn't be together and it drove me crazy. It wasn't right and I should speak to someone alone about it. It's just so interesting to be able to make a choice like that

but then also later realize have that self-awareness. Yeah. Well, reality hit her square in the forehead. He's pissed. I know but I'm shocked that it she's done and she's grasping whatever she can do. I guess but I'm just shocked that I have no idea what effect

it's really going to make on her. What she's really going to do about it. Right. Is she really going to get help? Well, and the thing is too like her house of cards is really tumbling right now and it's so interesting to me because there's narcissists and there's like narcissistic personality disorder

and narcissists don't have narcissistic personality disorder if they don't think anything's wrong with them. But she's recognizing that there's something wrong with her and there's a self-awareness. Obviously, she's got crazy insecurity and lack of confidence and all this other stuff

but it almost makes me wonder if there's something else mental health wise going on where she's so self-centered about herself and so insanely jealous of this other person and felt threatened by this other person because of being a narcissist or because of having some almost

histrionic, I believe. Yeah, histrionic which basically is another personality disorder where you're just, you lack sincerity and you're like very obsessed with yourself. I don't even think she honestly

thinks that she needs to change at all. I feel like she just feels bad for the one action. Well, I think that she recognizes that she needs to change. I don't know if she's going to go through with it. That's the question. But even in her responses, she's like oh, I was just

so jealous and all this stuff. She still is thinking the same way. She's trying to justify it. I don't know if she will. It doesn't feel super genuine because of the fact she's trying to justify it. Versus just being like, I fucked up. I don't know what I was thinking,

whatever it was, it doesn't matter, I fucked up. Well, it'd be interesting to see what she posts in one year from now. This was four years ago. There's no updates. No updates. Nothing. Well, OP, have you seen this? Oh, yeah.

TikTok has a weird way of... Bring it out, baby. Tell us what you did about it. And we hope things went well for you. I don't. Yeah, I don't either. Well, I'd like to see that she got help and things changed.

Look, she owns what she did. You can't change the past. But you can change for the future if she made the change. And maybe something good could come from that. You hope that some good comes out of something totally bad and moronic, yeah. Yeah, I'm just searching Reddit

to see if there were any updates with the same title posted after. And nothing. Okay, we're timing to roll on the next one. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty despicable. Okay. Up next.

This one might not be any better, guys. Okay, bring it on. I can deal with these. So this one is very recent. It was posted 15 hours ago. I came across it and immediately saved just based on the title. And then I had multiple listeners send it to me on Instagram

and Patreon. Fan favorite. So the fam was really upset about this one. So, am I the asshole for wearing white at my blind cousin's wedding?

I'd like to start by saying that me and my wife, female cousin, blind from birth, aren't very close. But we get along well as relatives. She's 26 and her wedding was last week. She sent me an invitation, though. We don't talk much, but since I wanted to break from work, I decided to go.

My favorite color is white. I have brown skin. Love wearing white because it brings out my skin's glow and makes me feel comfortable and confident. I purchased a white maxi dress. Nothing fancy, but goes well with my skin tone and wore it at the wedding. There wasn't a big party with many guests.

But, sort of family dinner and small celebration. I really thought no one would even notice I was wearing white. My cousin and her husband didn't know because obviously, no one told them. But, my aunt kept giving me uncomfortable looks the entire evening

and so did my other cousin. Once I decided to leave, my aunt pulled me aside and berated me for wearing this color at her daughter's wedding. She said, just because her daughter is blind doesn't mean she's stupid and doesn't know what's going on around her.

Basically saying I brought negative energy and disturbed the celebration by having guests notice and by extension my cousin as well. She gave a lengthy lecture and asked if I hate to see her daughter happy and whether I pulled this stunt because my blind cousin

got married before me. She literally put quotation marks on blind, too. I was like, whoa, calm down, none of this is true. I just wore my favorite color and didn't do it because my cousin is blind and wouldn't notice. And married before me, I never thought of that. I argued with my aunt for trying to dictate

what I wear but she defended herself saying I was a guest and should have respected the bride. I left feeling very upset and exhausted from that encounter. My boyfriend said he believed I used the fact that my cousin is blind to wear white but this didn't fly with her family.

He pulled the I told you so line and said I just made my family hate with that stunt. So he actually told her not to do it before she did it. He said to her, he believed she used the fact that the cousin is blind to get away with wearing white.

That's what I was thinking. Exactly what I was thinking. Even though he knows that I always wear white but he warned me that if my cousin finds out there's going to be some issues. He suggested I get ready to apologize but I really see no reason to apologize since I chose to wear a comfortable color

that I feel confident in. She's a bitch. She is a bitch. Would you wear white to anyone else's wedding? My comfort is more important than anyone else's. The guy that she's with is a bright enough guy that warned her.

She knew what she was doing. She did it intentionally. She's a callous and she's a bitch. Brat. So lady you're not winning here. Fuck you. You are the asshole.

Fuck you OP. What the fuck is putting blind in quotation marks? Why would you put blind in quotation marks? Your cousin is fucking blind. There's no quotation marks needed. She doesn't care. This is an easy one.

You're not worth any more of our time. We're moving on to the next one. We're diving in deep. Let's talk to this post. So basically moderators are on these subreddits and when things get too out of hand the comments aren't polite or constructive, they'll lock the post.

So you cannot comment any longer. So one of the mods comments and goes well seems a lot of people can't leave a comment without insulting OP. So this train is headed back to the station. Top comment however numerous awards like

I think about 30 awards based on my account. Comment. On a comment. And 47,000 upvotes. Yep, you're the asshole. Put it this way. What does your cousin being blind have to do with it? You wore a white dress to a wedding.

That is like the universal fuck you to any bride and it's an extra one to a blind bride. Yeah. Well said. Someone else goes I had an emergency. I look really good in white. It's incredibly selfish.

It's unbelievable. Someone goes right brown skin looks beautiful with a lot of colors so it isn't even that her choices were very limited in any capacity. Yellow, pink, a light blue any fucking pastel you want

like white white at a wedding. Come on people. What is her boyfriend still doing with her? That's the yeah. My question is how smart are you dude hanging out with this chick.

If she does this stuff to her cousin she will do this shit to you. Someone comments I sincerely hope cousin wears an actual wedding dress to OP's wedding using the reasoning that hey I'm blind I must have put on the wrong dress

but it's so good that you don't care about this stuff. Hell yeah. That is amazing. And I 100% think the cousin should. So OP does have an update she goes update. What the hell?

I'm seeing some angry folks getting too much upset over this matter. I honestly never cared about this stuff but obviously a lot of people do. I just think it's ultimately my choice to wear what I want whenever I go especially since I wasn't taking any part of the wedding but

seeing how many people care about minor stuff like that and I guess I didn't think this through. See this is someone who's never going to change. No. They're never going to see it another way so you just need to push to the side and move on. Dude just know what you're involved in.

He's got problems. Run. Go into this one with a three-dimensional look that this is what you're in store for. I heard it here first. I hope every single guest though that goes to her wedding wears white. I hope they punk her ass

and every single person that goes to her wedding wears white and says that one of the comments says well since you don't care about stuff like this we didn't think it mattered. White looks just so good on me. I would love to participate in something like that. It's just rude. Her whole post is rude.

The whole point too at the beginning she sent me an invitation though we don't talk much but since I wanted a break from work I decided to go. Oh yeah. You didn't want to be there. This chick is about attention. She wrote this for attention. She thought she was going to get like

oh no big deal. Which is so fucking crazy to me. How conceited are you and how delusional are you? I've experienced it a lot of times. There's a lot of people like that. Oh my god. Are we going to still roast her

or can we move on? He's done. I've been done with this chick after her first action. By the way congratulations to your cousin because she seems like she's dialed in. Yeah and I think there's something to be said about that.

I've seen a lot of stories whether that's TikTok or Reddit about people that are blind and people will take advantage of them. And it's so so so disgusting and I just cannot imagine.

I don't know if that's ableist to be in a fucking terrible heartless person but I've seen so much shit where people will take advantage of others with disabilities. I think it just shows to show you how foolish and dumb the person that actually thinks

that the other person's disadvantage is that they're only showing their own moronic intellect. Because anyone that has lost vision or sight have certainly made up their senses to know exactly what's going on.

And they're probably much even more have a higher perception of what's going on. Yes I mean your other senses do come in stronger and adapt but I mean there's so for example one video I saw was an individual who has a GoPro

connected to them and they're out in public and they constantly record stuff and then I don't remember if someone analyzed the video for them or if they posted the video or what it was but they caught someone kicking their guide dog and they didn't know in public and they've caught other people

on camera giving them the wrong money back when they buy a coffee and they've caught this shit on camera and it's like why do you take advantage of people that already have such difficulty? Yeah I mean and I've said this I think in another episode

but like it's not the disability that's disabling it's the fucking world that is disabling for the disabled people. We create such fucking harsh environments for these people and why do you even need to be more fucking callous? Because some of these people are simply out

of the animal kingdom and they're just their church's animals. Some of these people are just fucking heartless twats. They're animals. Okay now we can move on. Before I start crying over here. I really do believe that it's and we can only hope that there is

karma because we'll come back on these people that have these behaviors and we are all giving challenges in our life it's how we deal with these challenges that makes us who we are and I've

had difficulties we've all had difficulties and that's take those difficulties and appreciate them because that's what really makes us stronger and these people that have had adversity handed to them typically are much stronger

than the idiots that are weak to prey on them because that's had a weakness that's not strength you prey at a weakness so there you are that's the kind of person you are OP

you're a person of weakness and you are an asshole and you're an asshole we're done with you let's move on So is this next guy overall vote on this thread is asshole so this one's a little

it's not as dark as the last you know the last two but am I the asshole for inviting my 29 male girlfriend 28 female on an expensive vacation and expecting her to pay all of her share

I make a lot more than her hello my girlfriend myself my parents and my brother and his wife all went on vacation in another country a week ago my brother and I were the ones who did most of the planning of the itinerary although we did ask everyone else

for input for background I make around 150,000 as an IT consultant my girlfriend is a teacher making 45,000 my parents are pretty affluent as well as my brother and sister-in-law my girlfriend knew this trip was coming up

and took on a second job waitressing on the weekends for several months to get ready for it we've always split things 50-50 in the two years we've been together there were a few times on the vacation when she did not go on outings with us wine tastings, scuba diving, etc

she also would only eat two meals a day simply stating she was on a budget my family does favor more high-end expensive places my parents thought it was very strange that she only eats two meals a day although she normally eats three

when we got home I asked her she was on several of the outings and only ate two meals a day I mentioned how I heard her stomach growling one night and said I was concerned about her having an eating disorder she got teary-eyed and said that three meals a day

wasn't fiscally feasible for her and neither were the outings that she chose not to go on she went on three of six outings she said she was not expecting everything to cost so much and she was overwhelmed she also said she doesn't know if she is going to work long-term

if she is expected to go on vacations like that with people who make so much more than her I feel bad that I did not pick up on her discomfort sooner but we did agree to split everything 50-50 and I don't know why she agreed to come if the cost was an issue

cause she didn't fucking know also don't you want your partner to enjoy these life experiences with you like isn't that why you date someone and why you are with someone or why you go on vacation

you make 150k a year she's a teacher doing fucking God's work grinding we don't pay teachers in America enough money or I don't know what they get paid in other countries but it's not enough I have a thought

when you love somebody why would you want to put them in the position while you all go with your family to these things wouldn't that be weird I think the answer is I don't know what's not clicking what's missing in your brain are you sitting at the

lunch one day and she's just sitting there with nothing and you're having an awesome meal with your family and she's just chilling and it doesn't click and you have to go to her and say why are you not eating do you have an eating disorder she clearly said

is that fiscally like what she literally said she would also only eat two meals a day simply stating that she was on a budget you already knew she was on a budget and you hear her stomach growling

she's clearly hungry and you ask if she has an eating disorder and you're asking us if you're the asshole I mean reddit did it for him reddit really did it what's amazing to me is he literally did not know that's why you made the post how do you not know

he did know he knows he's an asshole I think this guy is totally out of touch with reality clueless if my partner if I went on vacation with my partner and I couldn't afford the activity so I chose hey I opted out or even

let's just say I was uncomfortable with one of the activities because I've been on trips we've gone on trips where our friends were doing an activity that we didn't want to join I personally didn't want to join and Justin was like well if you don't want to do it then let's go find something else and he could have done that too

oh you can't afford to go fucking skydiving no he's oblivious let's just go chill on the beach he is completely oblivious but here's on the flip side if my partner left me alone three out of six times on a vacation

my ass would be in the hotel room crying I would not be happy if someone did that to me I would be done after this trip he makes he makes three times her income and he is nickel and diming her

right and you have to respect her for making these choices to not she picked up a fucking second job and you don't think she's stressed and she's being a good sport about it like even though it's not right she should be the one writing this post like yo I went on vacation

here's what the boyfriend and family did yeah exactly he doesn't get it this dude needs a fucking map I'm with ya I don't need to speak to her myself talk this one self explanatory I feel for her

and I think that there must be something about him that she loves or she'd be gone otherwise she needs to think this thing through because you want a man that's going to take care of you it's going to respect you and not put you in the position to hear your stomach grow

and not and certainly not being in a position to not make sure that you have your dignity that you have to actually sort of come to dignity because you can't afford something when he easily can

there's no excuse for this none whatsoever that's a really good point he didn't give her any he did not respect he did not protect her dignity he doesn't give a shit as far as I'm concerned he's a crap

no and this girl's like a star and there are plenty of men out there that would love you and respect you and never to put you in that position and really truly hold you right there in the pedestal that you belong

cherish you you took a second job to prepare for the vacation it's sad I think the dignity is probably the most important aspect of this too because it's like I get you agreed to split it 50-50 but

he in a sense was throwing her under the bus on this vacation making her feel less than it's a setup for destruction would you stay in a relationship like this no but people do and that's what makes me feel so bad they realize what's out there and they

they kind of feel like their situation is what it's supposed to be you know I mean I'm 63 years old and I've certainly loved before and I have loved people that certainly did not love me back enough that they were protecting

me from being hurt especially by them the one thing you want to be sure that you have in a relationship is that person has your back and will do nothing to let anyone hurt you especially themselves when that when that fails and they're the person that hurts you

then that's that's a problem and maybe one time you it can happen and you can have a discussion it happens again it's going to be a pattern and it's not going to be a happy life so you need to walk you need to just hold yourself high enough to just walk out the door and say

don't write don't call don't write bye Felicia so top comment on this one which has 58,000 upvotes you're the asshole you make three times what she does

you knew she had to take a second job to be able to go you planned the holiday slash activities she even said while you were there that she could only afford to eat two meals a day don't plan for your budget when you know she makes so much less than you I think it's safe to say she didn't enjoy the holiday at all

she probably found it stressful to work out what she could afford and embarrassing to have to skip meals and someone else goes and she probably couldn't even actually really afford what she did spend she'll probably need months to recover the savings it makes me sick the whole story

just makes me feel sick yeah this next comment though and this is like I think I was thinking in my head I don't know if I've said it out loud yet but what does this relationship look like when they get married does he still expect this to be 50-50 what does a life

for them look like so this person comments and they go do you expect her to do this the rest of your lives also 50-50 is only fair when both parties make roughly the same amount it takes her nearly three years to make your yearly salary

I get that it's hard to sympathize when you're not able to experience the situation for yourself but maybe try talking to her with an open mind and see if this situation actually works I'm trying to please you yeah splitting 50-50 isn't fair when the one person

is struggling to stay afloat you know everything that goes very cyclical in life that people have successes and they have failure this guy has a failure and he falls on his face you better be with a partner that genuinely cares for you let me ask you a question buddy while you're sitting there hungry

and she's out and she's had some good success and good luck from her hard work when she's out eating he's going to call his parents and your stomach's growling I mean think about it well that's the thing

she's clearly with you because she loves you because one, you're treating her pretty shitty and it's not about the money because you're making her pay her way despite having significantly less she's not with you for the money there's a partnership here be a partner

I like this comment I think nearly three times what my husband does guess what we do split costs proportionally based on our incomes the only exception is our cars you buy it, you're responsible for the payments and you need to make sure it's in your budget strong you're the asshole

yeah and the overall vote all across the board asshole I mean everyone really gets it comments too my heart broke for this girl not only did she work extra jobs just to afford to go long when she got there she was offered was beyond her means

and then he had the unmitigated gall to ask her about it on the idea that she might have a fucking eating disorder and he's afraid he might not have been attuned to his girlfriend and her finances because after all they have agreed to split 50-50 you're the asshole

doesn't even begin to approach the depth of asshole are we going on here not just from the OP though he absolutely gets the lion's chair but also from the rest of the family she needs to wipe her tears and kick this one to the curb to sit with the rest of the trash yep

I didn't really and that comment really puts it into perspective too because if the parents are very affluent and well off and the parents were okay with leaving one person behind fucking snobs my mom is the most generous person and you're very generous too

you take care of people you invite people everywhere you include people my mom is always like the first to be like oh no no I got it like as a parent my mom would take her kids and their significant others on vacation and buy the dinner why were the parents not doing that

like why are you why were the parents okay with watching this girl sit behind leaving her alone in the hotel yeah but it speaks to exactly who he became exactly but you know what you'd be marrying into as well

a lifetime of feeling less than right they truly don't give a fuck about her to leave her behind well on that note that's uh put him in rice but the bottom line is we don't know how to have a conversation with her

too bad I know we need someone that's really good at hacking to find his IP and then find her oh OP's girlfriend if you're out there run what do you think of put him in rice

it makes sense now doesn't it it does I would actually put him in tar tar and feathers tar the guy let him just sink to the bottom of the pit like a dinosaur I think put him in rice

look for his bow into the million years like I know we say a lot that common sense isn't so common but with these people just like I don't know they're just also just so clueless

and people that can never see it from another person's shoes why is she still there they lack empathy or even why is she still with us though because people get stuck in things like that and they think that that's normal that's how it is and that's what love is

and it's so sad I think there's been a lot of stories like that where people just get stuck in it and well in their ages too they're 28 and 29 I'm trying to look at how long they've been dating and it's hard to compare until you have someone that truly has your back

truly cares for you isn't a real relationship with you how else do you know yes you see the Hollywood perfect but you don't think that's attainable a lot so I have two comments

based on one what you said last documentary he says like you need to love yourself more than 20% you need to love yourself more than 50% you need to love yourself you know we might not be 100% but you need to love yourself because if you only love yourself 25%

and someone comes around comes along and gives you 50% then you're at 75 but you only love yourself 25 and they're giving you 50 so for you you feel like they love you so so so much but it's still

not what you deserve and I also think people get wrapped up in this idea of well I've been with my partner for four years I'm 30 you know I don't want to start over my clock is ticking I don't even think it's an age thing sometimes though

you hear people come out of high school and five year relationships and they're like well we've been together for so long it's just it is the way that is when you're in it though and things are wrong and you're gonna get stuck in that cycle you feel like this is your person that you'll work it out

this is gonna be it you really think and then as soon as you get out and you see it hindsight 2020 then you're just like what was I doing yeah baffles me I saw something the other day where like

yes every relationship is going to have highs and lows but a lot of times relationships for people are like drug highs you have this fight and then you make up and like your love is so intense that it's very our brains process it in a way that's very similar to a drug but that's not how love is supposed to be

and this famous psychologist or doctor is talking about this and he's like love should feel safe it should feel calm and if you're going through that withdrawal and that drug like experience with your love it's not healthy that's

and it's like this poor girl like do you feel safe with your partner like for a lot of these toxic the dark ones we got into do you feel safe do you love this reminds me of a friend of mine lives in another state and she would travel with somebody

and she was with this fellow for number of years and sometimes he would just blow up and kick her out of the room or whatever it was stupid and while they were traveling yeah oh my god what did she do she she left she got it went to the airport she flew home

and you know they worked it out they went out again she says and then it got to the part where he wants to get married and she says I don't trust you no I don't trust the fact at the end of the day that you're not going to do it to me again

yeah one mistake on her part because you've done this on a couple occasions which is exactly what I thought about the lady who threw away all the pictures that's yeah exactly that I had too big of a mistake I mean there's some passion there

and there's some great stuff going on but let me tell you there is some deep seated he doesn't have her back and it makes you know as a friend I feel bad because I know that she would love to have that life but wrong person

and I hope that you find the right person no and I've ended friendships for the same reason I've been supported and cared for life is too short you were down in Dallas, Texas I remember that oh yeah I called you crying I said

this friend you guys was the most toxic friend I've ever had bad friend get out of that bad friend and life is too short to have people like that in your life and we'll get into that one more on another friends episode it'll come up because losing friends is hard but

sometimes you can't put them in rice you have to cut them out and so that's that is that our show? that's our show sometimes the phone just ends up at the bottom of the lake and you don't even have the opportunity to put it in rice

this is true I threw my friend Mason's phone in the lake last summer and there was no coming back from that one well guys I don't know if she'll let me come back again but it was great to spend the weekend with you you'll be back don't be dramatic you'll be back

every time I come back check out the socks well that's all I have for this episode on two hot takes you guys just another special shout out to those on Patreon we really appreciate you guys and until next time until next time

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