Two Hot Takes - 271: Mind Your Business Ft. Hannah Berner

Episode Date: June 4, 2026

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Hannah Berner of Giggly Squad! Hannah is back and helping us determining if the people in these stories should have minded their business or not. Like do you tell your DIL she's wrong about the earth being flat? Do you change your outfit because your ex told you to? Or what do you do when your husband's mistress is stalking you?! Speaking of business get ready for her new special on Hulu -- None of my Business!! Can't wait to hear your thoughts on these ones. Checkout Hannah's Special & Content: https://www.hulu.com/movie/hannah-berner-none-of-my-business-dcf075e6-79ce-4cbe-b6a4-153f0970fa88 https://www.instagram.com/HANNAHBERNER/ Partners: Credit Karma: Download Credit Karma today and get the credit you deserve. State Farm: This episode is sponsored by State Farm. A State Farm agent can help you choose the coverage you need. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Patreon BONUS Content including FREE stories: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ NEW MERCH:  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://shop.twohottakes.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ WRITE IN TO US!! Our SubReddit! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Index: 00:00 -- Start Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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D.C.C.C.C. to learn more. Wait, can I take my socks off? Yeah. Are you going to charge people for that? I'm keeping them underneath. I'm keeping them under. I'm going to have to blur it as you took your foot out. We'll say, like, if you pay another $5, the toe comes out. Head over to Patreon to see Hannah's feet. I was just, I was getting overheated.

I know. But I needed, no, but I needed it. Hard to temperature balance a little bit in here. Yeah, we're good. No, we're perfect. We're beyond good. We're fucking set today. I don't know if I've ever had you on for an episode and been more like clocked in, ready to go. Energy through the roof.

Well, this is like riding a bike for us. I know. I was thinking about that today as I was getting ready. I'm a co-host. I'm a literal co-host. You're a co-host. I said, do you do the pod when I'm not here? I don't think so.

Have you any for post an episode without me? No. I don't think so either. No. Number one, co-host. I was thinking about it though. And like, when you first came on, you hadn't even had a special yet. You were so sad and lonely.

I just needed help. I didn't know who I was. You were shivering. You hadn't eaten. I was like a sad cat out in the rain. Like, where's my home? Well, we both were like launching our podcasts at a similar time and we've been podcasting for a minute.

We had like the same PR people. Yeah. And they connected it. Yeah. Is that how it happened? Yeah. And we just hit it all. I met your dad.

Yeah. Family very early on. I know. I just have to say, I'm running around L.A. Still lost and scared, actually. But I'm promoting my special. But it's been a long day and I'm like, thank God I'm going to do Morgan's Pod. It's going to be so easy and fun.

And she has champagne. I opened the door and she has congratulations balloons. And I blank out and I'm like, is it my birthday? Is it your birthday? Whose birthday is it? I forgot. And then I realized she's just the sweetest person in the world congratulating. me for my special. And you just live life so well. I'm just so excited for you. And like I

really, really appreciate your friendship and just I can always text you and you're just might take you a little bit to respond, but you do get there. You do get there. I feel like I'm pretty good. Except honestly, oh wait, we actually fucked up this time because we fully scheduled it and then you know the last text where you're like, and this is the time. If I didn't respond, I mean I didn't see it. Yeah. So then you're just, you were like, where are you, babe? You're busy right now. You've got your special coming out on Hulu this time. But this is my priority. Going on Hot Takes is literally the pot I will not miss. No, it's not. We don't look around when it comes to Hot Takes. No. We mean business over here. Hence

the Blazer. Yeah. She literally is a full amazing outfit on and she's confused about it and I'm like, we're covered in blankets. Yeah. No, and a new Cheetah one. So we're really, we're set. I'm burritoed. You look really cute today. Thanks. You look really cute. Thanks. I have like a fading spray tan. That's why.

Cheers. Cheers to women in the arts. And assholes. And mind in your business. And mind in your business. And mind in your business. Some of these I might just say none of my business and move on. But that's no, that's not allowed on this pod.

We'll see. Everything is about to be my business. Even if I don't have a strong opinion, I will have a strong opinion. You will make it your business. I will make it my business. I cannot wait to see how you do it. Let's dive in. I love when we get heated and we disagree.

Should we try to make that a challenge today? I feel like we will. Because sometimes I'll just be like, you know what? I'm fighting the good fight on this one. I like when you think I'm going to take a take and then I take a different one. So us. I'm going to clock you today. Oh my God, I'm scared.

No, you and your blazer. You're going to fire me today. This is my last time on this podcast. So let's enjoy it. People can be like, I haven't seen boobs like that before. No, they've never been out. Oh, she's like making. Make sure you're on Spotify watching the video.

This episode of Two Hot Takes is presented by Credit Karma. You're on your phone constantly. Shouldn't those bills count towards your credit? With Credit Spark by Intuit Credit Karma, they do. Build credit history using payments like phone bills or utilities. No debt, totally free, and missed payments aren't recorded. Not all lenders use TransUnion credit reports or scores impacted by Credit Spark. But if you're at or below 660 and look at.

to build credit history, download Credit Karma Today, and get the credit you deserve. Kicking it off with this one. Okay. This is coming from our very own Too Hot Take Subreddit, so it's a listener out there. Titled, Am I the Asshole for not telling a girl

at the gym about her butthole hole? Oh! I, 25 female, attend a pretty large 25 through 30-person hot Pilates class a couple of times a week. This studio loves to squeeze in as many people as they can into the room. So I always choose a spot in the back corner. So only one person in front of me and one to my right.

A woman around my age came and set up in front of me. For context, she was a curvy girl. I noticed we had the same body type and was wearing leggings the same color as her skin. As we started the class and went into Downward Dog, I noticed she had a hole in her leggings right at. at her butthole. Hmm.

Like to the point, I saw her butt crack and then hole when she stretched further. The class was starting to pick up and the music was extremely loud, so I didn't tell her. I just figured that I'd be the only person to witness this. This is where I feel bad. We started doing sideline work, which transitioned to her being in the front of the class, as everyone turned to the right. Now, every single person behind her could see her butthole whole. I never told her after class.

I told my mom this saying that I didn't tell her because if it were me, ignorance is bliss, and I hope she'd notice when doing her laundry and think, oh, maybe it's small. No one could see. However, my mom thinks I should have told her so that she thinks maybe only I saw and she could fix slash throw them away for sure. So am I the asshole for not telling the girl in front of me at Pilates that she had a butthole hole? Points for asking your mom before you wrote it into Reddit, because that's something I would do. I'd be like, my, horrible person. Okay, first off, this is why I wear granny panties. This is why I'm wearing full coverage. If anything happens, you're going to see some

old haines. Okay. That's the worst case scenario. I literally love, I think it was like the Haley Bieber thing you did and you were wearing granny panties. Was Justin Bieber laughing at your granny panties? He probably was. I think that's what you captioned it. I did go through a stage where there was no one to like tell me to not wear granny panties. So I did it up until I like had people involved in my life. Like not even seamless.

Like you were just cheeked up. Yeah, cheeked up. But also I could, I have a whole thing about it. But like if that's what's offensive to you that I'm wearing underwear, that's you can work on that. No guys ever been like, oh, I liked your ass until I saw the shoes wearing underwear. It's like... I wonder if a granny-panny line does a little something extra for guys, actually. I think that there's somewhere online where they're looking for those lines. I mean, I think also, I was tennis player and I never wore thongs. I thought thongs were intrusive.

I'm like, okay, that's, oh, there it is. Yeah. Also, it's hard to keep everything in. I don't want to like sneeze and lose something. Why is it like this a tiny little triangle? Why are they not making those bigger yet? Literally so tiny. There's not even a range.

It's just like you have to have a Kendall Jenner like flat. You just got to be flat, no lips. Marble stone. Yeah. And then I think there's something with like UTIs and bacteria and rubbing. I don't know. I wear a cotton, 100% hair. Haynes. I want to see the Haynes words and then I feel comfortable. So that's how I personally

have never been in this situation. However, I've had my rips. I've had my period stains. I personally would not have told her because of all those little things going on, such as it being loud in the room. What are you going to do? Like, cause a scene and be like, everyone stop. You, turn the music off. Or what are you trying to mouth it to her while we're doing downward dog? But it is one of those. things where like it's like if you don't tell someone there's something in their teeth and then someone else does you're kind of a bitch. I know. See, if you noticed before class, then I would have been like, okay, tell her it's before class. She can go out, maybe have something, maybe buy a pair of leggings like from the place because I'm thinking of hot ploddies in L.A. Yeah. And they sell outfits. They sell

shit. So like she could have done something. Yes. But it's also at this point, she drove to this workout class, what's she going to do? Especially if the class already started. So you're ruining her workout by telling her. Yeah, you could. You easily could. I was also thinking like, does she not feel a little breeze, a little air? But this is hot yoga. There's no air. No. You're all suffocating. It's so scary in there. It's just muggy. Just muggy. But also, you know, crotch smelling. Yoga, Pilates, it's a beautiful celebration of the body. I feel like it's the kind of thing that could be normalized, like a nude beach. I've always wanted to go.

And also, when everyone's sitting pelage in front you in their yoga pants, you basically see their butthole anyway. I mean, some of the black leggings are just like, shear. Shear. They're sheer. Have you seen the girl she does like the granny-panny cat underwear test with leggings? No. She's got a pair of granny-panny underwear with a big cat on the ass.

And she'll squat and do the moves to see if you can see the cat. And if you can see the kitty, they don't pass. A woman in stem. I know. What would you have done? I probably would have not said anything. Which probably is not the right answer.

But like that's in all honesty. I don't think you're an asshole for not telling her. I think you've found yourself in a conundrum. You did. And there's really no easy way. But you know what's also so embarrassing when you put yourself out there to do something nice for someone and then you're, you look like an idiot?

Like someone like drop something and you're like excuse me and they like can't hear you and you're like excuse me and next thing you know that like you cause a scene and you're like I'm just trying to be a good Samaritan. That happens to me actually every time I try to do something nice. Really? I just feel like it's never a smooth interaction. Hmm. But people are, whenever someone does something for me like if I drop a glove or and I'm like you need to be protected at all costs. Like you're going to go to heaven. I know.

I haven't had any. odd interactions lately. I feel like if I have, that must be so nice just to walk through the world. I don't leave the house much. Well, every time I do, something happens. Well, you're in New York too. Like, you're subwaying. You like just see more people naturally every day.

I have to say New York, it's so chaotic that like every block there's something crazy going on to the point that you get like numb to it. That's why also if, yeah. Have you seen the guy that likes to lay in the rug in New York? and have people step on him. It's like his fetish. Have you stepped on him? Have you been there?

I could have. I'd have to go through my Rolodex, but it's possible. He lays in the street, rolled up in a rug, hoping people step on him. And then he wriggles. He's doing something under there. See, that's just a Tuesday. That's just a Tuesday in New York. However you need to get by, New Yorkers are like, if that's his thing.

We all have a thing. We all have a thing. I also sometimes, depending on the thing, some people, will call me out on something and sometimes I'm like, I'm embarrassed now. Like, you should just let me realize that on my own. I think she'll go home and realize. And it's not every day that you wear the color leggings. That's the color of your skin. I actually, hot take, I don't think those color palettes should exist in leggings. No. I have 100% multiple times thought people in the grocery store weren't wearing pants. Yeah, just toddler. Just a big shirt with underwear. I'm like,

no pants at pavilions? What are we doing? Are you a woman? Okay. Like no security. And then no, it's it's the leggings. But it looked like she was Winnie the pooing. It also sucks. She was top on, bottoms off. I wish there were other things we could wear besides leggings because I'm not always in the mood for a leggings. I like a scort. I've really been vibing with a scorch. I love scor. Yeah, nice little breeze, but your legs don't chafe together. It's like the spork of clothing. Yeah. Bring back sporks. Where have they Ben. I don't know. I think forks and knives just have really good marketing campaigns and spork. They couldn't afford a PR person. See, I wouldn't even need a knife if you gave me a spork,

just one and done. Yeah, I feel like that would conserve something for the environment. You would think. You would think. Top comment on this one. Laughing my ass off. I just read this post to my mom. We're sitting in the ER for her GI bleeding, making jokes about butts. And I saw this post. She got a good laugh out of it. She's like, my mom's like, Ha! I like that laugh. And the next one, you let this poor woman go to the front, knowing she'd be giving everyone a saran glare.

Women need to rely on each other to point this kind of stuff out. You should have told her right away. I think it's a personality type. Also, some people live for that stuff to be like, I'm going to say it. I guess what you could have done is offered to switch with her and put her in the corner where you were. that would have been nice because then you would have blocked her from everyone else in the room. I also, in a lot of classes I do, I love taking dark classes.

They need to be dark. When it's too bright, I get distracted. I'm suddenly trying to prove myself to 18 strangers that I could hold a plank. Maybe that's good for the workout, but I love a dark workout where you can just blow and grunt and fart and blame it on someone else. Oh my gosh, I've never farted in a workout class. It happens to the best of us. A hot yoga class? It should be illegal. It should be illegal. They're locked in. You are actually You're hotboxing it. You're actually hotbox in it. You're actually hotbox in it. But sometimes, you know, you go into weird angle and you're like, oh, the release I've been waiting for. That is true. It's impossible to hold it in when you're like doing the legs out. Yeah. And apparently if you're on your left side, everything aligns more. So it's just kind of like an easy tunnel out. Especially if it's, you know, after work, you've had a big lunch. Or after coffee, you know, have a big lunch.

coffee. Oh. As long as you're not ground hogging, you know, that would be, that'd be bad. Someone else basically is just like, this is not, it's like basically a no-win situation. Yeah. I think your ignorance being bliss and all that is probably more accurate. Would you rather be your butt or your vage? Oh, ass every day. Yeah, I feel like ass is kind of like, everyone's got one. I mean, I like, I feel like even if I'm like spreading, like, I don't know. Maybe my butt's big, but like, it takes a lot to see the actual hole. Yeah, I don't know how this, was it actually your asshole? It's probably just crack, which like...

If it's crack. If it's crack. That's honestly, like, sexy. Whatever. Good for her. I know, crack is back. The crack is not whack. No, you're seeing a lot of crack on the carpet these days.

There's no way it was her actual butthole. Let her show some crack. That's literally butt cleavage. Yeah. Yeah. Look at us. Beavage. I love what we just rebranded the whole segment.

Show your crack, everyone. It's fine. Plummer's cracks actually hot. Yeah, men are allowed to do it. Why can't we in yoga class? I want to see more crack this year. Yeah. Here we go. This next story is actually like a new nightmare for me. It's coming from Today I Fooked Up titled Today I Fooked Up by forgetting my car auto connects to Spotify. I genuinely think the most embarrassing moment of my life happened today. For context, I'm a 27-year-old female, software engineer, and my coworkers are men in their 40s and older. So today my team was going to lunch and I offered to drive. Two co-workers got into my car and my phone automatically connects to Spotify. Except it always takes about 10 to 15 seconds to fully connect, so I didn't realize or think of it in the

moment. I had something in my trunk I needed to grab really quick, so I got out and in that time my phone connected and the last thing I was listening to was a smutty ass. book. And yes, it was on one of those scenes. I got back into the car hearing the main character of the audiobook talking about how there was not enough friction between her thighs to satisfy her carnal lust. I'm dead, deceased. Because I'm dead, I, of course, suddenly can't function properly.

I can't function properly. and muted slash unmuted it three times completely fumbling from my radio. And she's a woman in STEM. She's an engineer. As I'm doing this, my coworker in the passenger seat goes, quote, oh, what are we listening to? Akatar? My coworker in the backseat, what's Akatar? Apparently you can die twice. That's fun. I then just say it's a book series Us Girls Love and we left it at that. Honestly, great joke from my coworker. I'll be able to laugh at it in 10 years or so. Oh my. Oh, that car ride. No, thank you. That car ride. But this is one of those examples in life where like you can't take life too seriously. And maybe it's because we're poders. Like, if that happened to me, I'd immediately be like, great story for the pod. This is hilarious. Like,

lean in. It's like, but if you get mad at yourself and ashamed, then you're just in like a shame spiral. So I actually think, like the fact that the guy knew what Akitar was. That's actually, He's got a wife that reads or something. Yes. He's tapped in. Yes. And honestly, be like, sorry when my friends sent me this book. But honestly, I don't want any, like, random older man I work with to even know that, like, I've ever thought about sex.

No, I don't come. Like, I've literally just a shell of a human around you. Leave me alone. Don't look at me. I'm still a virgin. What do you mean? Well, it's funny how I'll work. There was a meme about this, how it's just, like, you with a bunch of people's dads, like, asking them about, like, the Google.

that they don't know how to work. Oh my gosh. Yeah. You're like, Steve, I know you have a family, but you have to respond to emails. Yeah. That was literally like everyone I worked with at the hospitals. Like, I'd be like, can I put my Google presentation on the TV? And they're like, we don't know how to do that.

Yeah. Like, what's Google Docs? That's funny because I thought she was going to be like I was listening to like, I don't know, like some crazy, like dirty song or something. but the fact that it was actually. My neck, my back, lick my pussy, and my crack. Also, sorry, the radio's crazy. I think I'd be okay with that.

I'm going to be honest. It's totally fine. Audio book, I would have to crawl under my car and hide. When I went to the mechanic the other day, I was listening to Fourth Wing on my way there. And I literally had to like force quit it. So it didn't accidentally reconnect. Like I did not open Spotify the whole time I was waiting. I was like, I'm going to make sure it doesn't.

come back. This is why I take Uber's. Yeah, because then you don't have any control. You're like safe, marked safe every chance. Honestly, I read all of the Akitar books last week and number five was probably the most graphic descriptions. I was blushing sitting alone in my own home. Yeah. I was like, oh, I don't think I'm supposed to hear this. This is like too intimate. The unit is I've never listened to a smut book. Never? Well, I say it's like cigarettes. Like, I don't want to try it because if I like it, I'm going to have a problem. You actually probably would get really into it. I get really into stuff. I get

really hyper fixated on stuff and I'm like I have a special to promote. I'm busy. I have emails to answer. I can't be in a Khole of Akatar for three weeks. After this. I have a family. I have a cat. You do have a cat. Your cat's so cute.

Thank you, butter. She's like, where is my mommy? I'm like, mommy's podcasting. Yeah. No, but I think after this when you need a little mental vacation, because again, I know how hard I work. I think you might work a little harder than me. And it's too much. So I think you need to go park yourself on a beach with a book and give it a go. Okay. It's time. Okay. Self care. But that is, it takes a lot for me to get embarrassed. I think that's why I've, that's like my superpower and that's why I can do stand-of comedy because I'm like, don't have that fear. But that is, that is a brutal one. Did you teach yourself that to like not feel embarrassment? Was that something that, you know, you like just had to get over? I think because I come from like a goofy family. Like my dad would always try to embarrass me, but he was funny.

Okay. So then I'd always, like, he would never embarrass me because I'm like, my dad's actually being really funny and everyone thinks that was funny. I don't know. I guess it's like my family. And also because embarrassing things happen to me nonstop, it's like my only survival. Like I'm a tripper. I trip all the time.

I spill stuff all the time. I say the wrong thing all the time. Like if I got embarrassed, I couldn't be. here right now. It was a it was a a fighter flight type thing. Yeah. No. So you almost, it's like exposure therapy. I'm going to I'm going to lean into that. It's exposure therapy and my dad would always joke to be like how was all your awkward interactions today? Like that's just also I somehow I interact with a lot of people where it seems like it was their first day on earth. Like I have a lot of those. Those are my favorite. They find me. Those are my favorite people. Like when I'm on tour, it's,

my opener will be like, I've never seen someone have this many, like insane interactions with people. Why don't you just have like a little camera following you around? I'd love to see these. I know you tried the reality show once upon a time, but like I think this sounds more fun. Like just you tripping, bumping,

first time on earth interactions. Like I would love to see those. No, but I get through it because it's hilarious. Like, but if you take it serious, you start being like, this is a little bit sad. Wait, I actually want to man. this for you for this to happen. You know how you love doing the worm? Yeah. Did you see the video of the bridesmaid that did the worm and her dress ripped up her ass? So I've done the worm

before and my dress has like basically gone over my head but I'm wearing granny panties. So the crowd is like goes nuts. Mark's safe. But that was actually brutal. Did they get louder when that happened? Yeah. But then you lean into it. It's like I always say when you fall, don't then be like, Ow, like, do a funny pose. Like, lean into it, laugh at yourself. That's the only way to survive in this tough planet. I like that. I would be getting all my co-workers, like, gift cards for audiobooks for Secret Santa.

By the way, speaking of cracks, I did Sports Illustrated, which is so random. So, so random. So hot, though. But it was funny. It got, like, a lot of attention to the point that I was like, it was a little too much attention where I was like, oh, are people like, really like, oh, my God, I'm like, okay, I'm not like, that. Okay, I'm not like that. Wait, what?

Well, people were just like, I think they were so surprised because I didn't tell anyone that I was doing it. No, I was like, holy smokes. But they put me in a bikini where like I had a vatch crack. Do you ever have that? The top, like the top of your vagina was out. Like, I had a-low. It went down low?

It was low. And then there's a shot where I'm like behind a door. And it's because I was like, I'm going to stay behind the door for this one. Because I don't know what's coming out right now. Did you not get to pick your swimsuits? We would like, they had a fitting and they would kind of decide which ones they like the most. And like it looked hot, but it was like one of the teeny tiny teeny ones. Just a triangle.

Yeah. Like a landing strip patch. Yeah, like I shaved, but like I shaved for a bathing suit not like to see inside the labia. So, but that was another thing of like I think because I don't get embarrassed a lot, I was able to do sports illustrating. because I was like, what are we scared of? A little badge crack. Can you just like make a course? Like sprinkles?

Like you sell sprinkles, Hannah's non-embarrassment sprinkles. Like we can dust it on ourselves because I, this sounds incredible. That, what you're describing is how I feel on a beta blocker. Yes. Yes. I mean, but it's also like I feel the embarrassment, but I almost, it's kind of like how you could turn nerves into excitement. When I feel embarrassed, I turn it into laughter. Like, I remember giving a speech for my birthday once at a restaurant in front of like a whole restaurant.

And it was a long table of like 18 people. And as I sat down from the speech, I missed the chair and like fell. And the whole restaurant saw me. And like that's the kind of stuff that you're like, yeah, clearly haunts me. But like I ended up laughing so hard at it. And like people are commenting like, is your name Grace? like stupid shit. And you just like have to lean in and be like, I'm a silly girl. I'm just a silly, silly, silly funny girl. I'm going to try it. Yeah. And that's what I think OPE should do too. I mean, the top comment, it will be something you laugh about one day. And just tell yourself like that was iconic. Like, who else would that happen to? That was iconic. I mean, you're the young, like, cute girl at work. You just got to embrace that role, which is being up to date with the trendy audiobooks. And also, like, at parties, that story's hilarious. Like, that story's going to murder. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Literally, you're going to be so popular. I know. O.P. does respond to the top comment. I laugh and then I cringe. It feels like a never-ending cycle right now. L.O.L. Yeah, it's normal. It's human. O.P. does say, my coworkers are super chill, luckily.

I think overall, everyone thought it was a funny moment. I'll update if I got called into HR. I was about to say it was illegal probably, but. You think? Like, imagine if a man did that. The girls would be like, uh, that was on purpose. especially like the guy version of like it being porn and you walk up to someone's cubicle and they're just watching porn. Oh my God.

I've heard those stories of men like going into the bathroom and their phone is connected to whatever and they're just playing porn. No. Dude, there's there's like. Technology gets you. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. And this is why I don't have a nine to five. This is why we're sitting on these couches right now. Thanks to all of you guys.

Thank you guys. Don't make me ever go back to an office. I'm so sorry if I annoy you, but just like, just put it on in the background and mute me. Just like, don't make me go back to an office. When I was in office, I was in the bathroom the whole time. Hiding? Yeah. I would go to the bathroom so often.

But you know what I hate about corporate America is people are like counting how many times you go the bathroom to the day. They're like, didn't you just go to the bathroom? I'm like, I'm a good adult. I'm allowed to go the bathroom when I want to and fall asleep. Now, like, and it's going to be like, oh, you go to HR because you got in trouble for going to the bathroom too much your HR person's AI. Oh, scary world. You know what else is a scary world?

This next story. Love a segue. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We didn't call this podcast one hot take for a reason. Sometimes you just need a second opinion. Someone to help you figure out if, yes, you might actually be wrong. And honestly, insurance isn't that different. You want someone in your corner helping you make the right call.

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You're like to sit with that for a second. Yeah. This is stupid, and I really don't feel like I'm in the wrong. I'm not going to hide that I am not a huge fan of my daughter-in-law. She can be a moron, and we have clashed over basic things. My two grandkids are at my place twice a week. I like NASA, and I've been staying up to date with the Artemis II journey. My two grandkids are five and seven.

They saw me watching and were confused. That's the best way to put it. They thought it was fake because their mom told them things in space were fake. I assumed she was talking about movies, space movies, not overall the fact people went to space being fake. I decided to show them, the moon landing and some takeoffs. I asked them if they wanted to see a double sunset. This is when you lay down and watch the sun go down. The moment you don't see it, you stand up, and get somewhere higher and you will see the sunset again, because the earth is curved. My daughter-in-law showed up when we were waiting for the sun to go down. We did the little experiment and then saw the sunset twice.

The boys had a great time. I made a comment that this is one way to show that the earth is a big ball. My daughter-in-law had issues with that. She told me I'm not telling the truth and that the earth isn't round. I was confused, and she told me the Earth was flat. I started grilling her why she thought that, and she couldn't give me a reason. I asked her to explain why the other planets were round or why we could see a double sunset. I asked her why boats disappear in the distance from the bottoms up.

She got upset and said I was calling her stupid. I didn't say it out loud, but this is literally my definition of stupid, thinking the Earth was flat. She left with the kids, and I got a call from my son, saying that his wife has been crying. The boys keep asking her space questions and not believing what she says because I showed them other videos. He told me, I have to apologize, and that I overstepped. I told him I won't apologize because the earth is literally round. He said that he knows, but I need to apologize to keep the peace. Am I the asshole?

No. It's called science and you're not the first person to say the... She's the one that's saying you're stupid for believing her that the earth is flat. Sorry, I had one glasses of champagne. I'm like, that's what the stats are on people that think it's flat, genuinely. Well, people with conspiracy theories, some of them are dumb because they are. are convinced that because they saw a YouTube video, they are the first people to realize this. And like they, without any research or science, they're able to come to these conclusions because they saw something on the internet, which is, we all know the internet is all real. Everything's real. Everything.

Everything is a fact. I would say, like, yeah, if it's like you like to teach your kids a certain type of division and then the grandma comes in and she's teaching them a different division and it's confusing them. like in their math classes, I could understand being like, hey, you're overstepping a little. This is just science, babe. It's just science. And you think it's common sense, but- I didn't know about the double.

I was like, this is not common knowledge. Double sunset. I was like, okay, now I know. I think I'm going to try it today. That sounds like a party. Sounds beautiful. Yeah. And then that little green light when the sun hits the horizon at the right thing and you see the flash of green, also crazy.

If the mom was some really intense scientist who's been doing research and has some reasons behind her theories, let's talk about it. But I don't think she's a scientist. No. So you shouldn't be telling your children about science without evidence. And if evidence is a guy named Doug on YouTube, not evidence. I will admit, you know, I'm kind of into the conspiracy theories a little bit. But some days, I do feel like I should be wearing a tin hat. Genuinely, break out the aluminum foil and make me a cute little hat because I'm right there with some of these people.

But the flat, like, haven't you been on a plane where you kind of see it like when you're way up? Well, also, because when you look, it does look flat when we're sitting in this room. So I understand how if you don't know things, you could just be like, well, why is everyone saying that? I do think like corruption is real. I think corruption is real. I don't know what corruption would be enabled by saying the earth is flat versus not. I know because all the billionaires are trying to go to space right now. Yeah.

Where you clearly get up there and then you see the ball. Yeah. So. There was conspiracies that certain people never actually went to space. Like the celebrities and stuff. Which look, that's fun to gossip about. Yeah. Telling your children the earth is flat.

they're going to get bullied. Yeah. 100%. Or hold back. According to polling, millions of people globally hold flat earth beliefs. That makes sense.

Two to 10% of adults in the U.S. Where we are is a society that totally tracks. Yeah. That tracks. Oh man. Top comment.

And just quoting O.P., you need to apologize to keep the peace with my wife. Why should I do that, son? Because you are my dad and you should care about me. You should care about your own sons enough To not let their heads be filled with moronic lies

Not the asshole I'm sorry your son is a horrible father They're going for him They're going for him Wow Yeah Which like I mean earth is flat

This could be I don't want to open a can of worms But like I just saw something the other day Where people are refusing vitamin K for their babies And like it's like it's not good That's the question. It's like if she believes that, what else is she believing? It's not just letting her have that.

It's giving her like an opening to just be. Make sure the kids aren't homeschooled. That's all I have to say. Oh my God. Just make sure. Public education at least. There's a book somewhere. O.P. does say she is deep into conspiracy theories.

Doesn't specify which ones though. I wish we knew. Also, that's such a boring one. Like, that's the one you fight for. I know. That's literally like, it's been around forever. What one would you fight for? Oh my God, good question.

I'm like actually so not into conspiracy theories. Not that I don't support them. Like I like, I'm kind of one of those people that I'm like, I'll believe in a psychic. I feel like that's a conspiracy theory. I could be. A psychic. I believe in psych. I believe in energies.

I believe in karma. That's what I know that I don't know things. You're on the woo-woo train. I'm on the woo-oo train. bit. I'm on the woo-woo train 100%. Ghost, real. Like, people will be like, I don't believe in that stuff. I'll be the one to be like, well, you know, like, since the beginning of time, there's

always been, like, witches and stuff. Yeah. And I just believe even, you know, the known as in Italy. They knew the future. There's been, it's been around the world. Would you be down for a ghost tour? Yes, but I've never done it. And I'm a little bit of a scary cat.

But I believe a ghost. No, me too. I'm a big believer. Like, I don't do things. Like, I wouldn't go on a, what is it just like a scary Halloween? like, um... Oh, like a graveyard tour? I would, maybe would do,

maybe, but like a scaredy, you run and you scream. Oh, a haunted house? Hunted house. That's not my... That's not... No, I really hate the jump scare. Give me a calm audio book.

So, one of my friends and, like, co-host of my true crime podcast, Kaylin, she's got a spooky woo-woo podcast. Heart starts pounding. And we've been making plans to do a ghost tour. And now I'm kind of like, if you're down, we can make it a girl's ghost

tour and get all the girls together. And there's this one place in Kentucky. It's like an abandoned TB hospital. And I guess it's like the most paranormal place in the United States. But I wonder like how often do they do tours and the ghosts are like, oh my God, we have to do another showing. Like we're tired. Like do they show up every time?

I don't know every time. But I've looked at the reviews and people are definitely freaked out. I've been to New Orleans and there's a lot of. Oh my God. stuff, witchy stuff there. But I've, I've never delved into it. And I went to Salem. Oh.

Where, yeah, there was. That's on my list. Psychic stuff there. What'd they say? Her name was Angel. We actually check it out on YouTube. We've recorded it. Had a page try witchcraft.

Didn't she? She actually came up with some crazy stuff. Yeah. Yeah. But she was like harsh. Like we left and we were like silent. Like she called us out. She roasted you?

She roasted us. She was like, are you okay? So it wasn't, it was intense. Damn, I don't want to pay someone to hurt my feelings. Well, like, she told Paige, like, all her kids died of cholera. And we were like, okay. In her past life? Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. Like, we left her, we were like, mm-hmm. Thank God for antibiotics. What's your conspiracy theory? JFK, for sure. That's one where I'm like, it definitely was not Lee Harvey Oswald. I think Marilyn was possibly... Poisoned.

Poisoned. 100%. Now we're like getting... Now suddenly everything's coming to me. She literally got picked up and her body didn't go straight to the morgue. Like it's actually, it's so disturbing. She... Yeah.

No. No. Poisoned. What the hellie? Well, we do get some positive info that these kids are not homeschooled. Thank God. That's what OP said. No homeschooling.

Thank God. Seems like the school was telling them one thing and then she would tell them. it's wrong. I mean, that's the fight she wants to fight. If that's the hill you're going to stand on. If that's the flat hill, you're going to... I know. What would it look like, though? Like, if it's just flat forever, does it drop off at some point and it's actually a rectangle? Like, if you believe the earth is flat, explain it. What does it look like? Also, what's going on underneath? Exactly. I'd like to know. I kind of want to do a poll and see if there's anyone in our audience that thinks it's flat. And like have them defend themselves. Yeah. I love a debate.

Healthy debate. Try to open my mind. I'd be down. Let me know. If you think the earth is flat, please comment and let us know. But also it's like, the more we talk about it, even it normalizes it. That's the thing. You got to be like, and we're off. Once you say it a couple times, you're like, is there it's flat? I'm like, maybe. I'm just on to something. Okay, moving along to this next one. This is also coming from. from our Two Hot Takes Sub-Raddit. Ooh. A couple days old now.

Titled, My husband confessed something, and I don't know how to feel. I love the relationship ones. Hey everyone, long-time lurker, first time making an account. The situation is pretty strange,

and I don't even really know how to talk about it. But if I don't tell someone, I might go crazy. Slightly not safe for work. All right. My 32 female husband 37 male, recently told me that a few weeks before we got married, he asked his friend Jay, 37 male, about sex. We were both waiting for marriage and Jay had experience.

And somehow, this ended up with my husband watching Jay masturbate. Obsessed. Obsessed with Jay. We got married 11 years ago. And I just found out about this. My husband said it sounds worse than it is, but question mark, question mark, he assured me that he didn't touch Jay or anything. And I do believe him. I don't think he was keeping this as a secret from me either. The way he said it, it was just kind of a cringing at your past self sort of way. Like, quote, oh, I never told you about this embarrassing thing I did to impress you type of story. I didn't really react in the moment because it didn't quite register at first. first what he was saying. There's so many questions.

And we just moved on. Obviously, it's strange, right? I can't stop thinking about it. We're still really close with Jay. She's like, Jay sleeps in our bedroom. And I'm assuming his wife knows, as he's an open book about pretty much everything, to the point, I'm honestly a little surprised Jay never brought it up to me himself. I don't feel like my husband cheated on me, or at least I don't believe that was the intention,

but at the same time, if Jay was a woman, maybe my perspective would be different. Then again, I don't know. Should I just let it go? It was one time over a decade ago. And I do remember telling him that he should ask Jay for tips. I'm not sure how detailed I want to get here, but Jay had a toy that he was using to show him how to do it. Which, I mean, hey, our first time was great. So, silver lining, I guess. Oh, so it was a fleshlight.

Or, like, the torso. What? You mean, like, a sex doll? I'll show you. Oh, yeah. I don't even know this. I've seen pics. I love my husband, and Jay is a friend of mine that I love, too.

I don't imagine this is a common experience, but if anyone has had something similar, what did you do? Some quick questions. Okay. So when she says a decade ago, this means she was like 21 hadn't been married. Oh God, you're asking me to do math? Like, so it was right before they got married. 11 years ago, 32, now 21. Okay, so she was 21. He was like, you know, 25 or whatever. And that's when Jay was also 25. Okay. Look, I support all religions as long as it doesn't start wars. However, it is a unique thing to wait. until marriage to have sex. So at that point, I don't really judge the stuff you're doing to prepare because you already were being like unique in your sexual.

That's freaky. I'm always so impressed that people can wait. That's freaky shit. The self-control and the personal constitution you have to wait and make that decision and like commit to marriage with someone without test driving. Like I'm genuinely so in awe of people that have that self-control. Well, also, the first night's going to be horrible. You haven't learned about your body.

You don't know what you want. He doesn't know what he wants. So it's just going to take a really long time. My personal beliefs, I don't think you're farther away from God for having sex. I think that's a way to control women and tell them the only time you have sex is to have babies. We're saying crazy. I agree. But that's my tea.

I'm with you. So he's in a unique place where he's getting married and has all this pressure on. the wedding night to suddenly know how to please a woman, which is not possible if you've never done it before. But also, how is, and this is maybe where that sex toy comes in, which I'll show you pictures of the sex toys. I'm so sorry, I cannot put them on the video version because we will get removed. But how is watching your friend masturbate going to help you to have sex? That was my second question. Like if it's a hand job. That seems like Jay just wanted to have a little fun. It's giving the first scene in heated rivalry.

Yes. Yes. Wait. This is like... They literally watch each other jack off in the shower. I wonder... I mean, JIT, not J. The husband must have jerked off sometimes or is a part of their religion not to jerk off.

I don't know. It has to come out some way or he's a loaded bullet walking around. Dangerous. I feel like he must have jerked off. There's no reason for you to have to watch another man jerk off. So here's what I think happened. I think he's.

he watched his friend masturbate with one of these toys. So, dependent on what you purchase, there are fleshlights, but they're torsos. They look like this. Oh, my God. Yes. Oh, my God. Yeah. And it's jelly, silicone.

Wait, I love how, like, this never crossed my desk before. What? I've never seen this in my life. Ever? No. You knew about a flashlight, though. Yes. Because it's a good, like, punchline in a bit, flashlight.

That, what is that even called? Realistic silicone doll. But you know, it's funny. I'm like, is it better or worse that they don't have a head? Because at first I was like, that's bad. They don't have a head. And then I'm like, no, it's weird for you to have, like, a fake woman. But they make those versions, too.

They do for that if you're into. Like, yeah. Oh, God. I kind of like it better without the head. And they wonder why they're. are male loneliness epidemic. I know. These men are not lonely.

I see what they're hanging out with. Don't do this. I mean, yeah, there's a bunch of different versions. So I think he was using that. Okay. I think it's 100% unnecessary. Like, that is not, like, you just took it from zero to 100. Like, you didn't have to come to completion and in front of your man.

Why couldn't you just, like, do a couple air humps and call the day? 100% you could be like, hey, you could go in this position, do this, make some rhythm, whatever. Actually, ask a woman what she likes. You don't need Jay. Jay is having a little too much fun. Also, I hate to say it. Sometimes when you're super religious, you are trying to suppress some other things. That's what I'm like, it's a little heated rivalry coded, but I'm like, maybe religion isn't a part of it. I'm going to see if there's any comments from OPEC because otherwise, like, yeah, Okay, so we were both raised very Christian. So I think Jay wanted to show him somehow. There was a toy involved. But also, like, where do you put that? This is a big torso.

Where do you put that in your room? Closet with a pillowcase over it. I know someone that has a foot. It's like a foot flashlight. There's a vagina on the foot. Yeah. It's like a chopped, it would be cut at the ankle. But then part of me is like, you know what?

Let him have his little. foot thing. Leave the girls alone. Have your little, I don't kink shame. Yeah, no. You have fun with that foot. You have fun with your foot and no one gets hurt. It's what? Its name is Beth. Well, it didn't need a name. That's unnecessary.

Apparently, this came up when they were reminiscing on earlier stuff in their relationship, like their first date. It is crazy because he could have gone away with it. Like, it's been 10 years. You could have gone to the grave with that. Never would have known. And he dropped it. Mm-hmm. Which I do appreciate the honesty.

I can see where you're coming from, but I don't think this would be an avenue he'd go down. We have had conversations about LGBT plus stuff before. And he's never expressed a desire to not be monogamous. So he's not by or gay, according to O.P. She goes, he does go on these weekend trips with Jay, and I don't hear from him for a while. But he claims that they're just golfing. Mm-hmm. A lot of people questioned why.

He didn't just go on the internet and look at porn. He did know that porn existed. He was against watching or viewing anything like that at the time. Got it. He thought the concept was very, very bad. Yeah, so seeing a guy do it in person in front of you is way less graphic. Mm-hmm. I also have so many questions, like, did Jay trick him into it?

Like, was Jay like, hey, can I show you something real quick? And next thing you know, he was like, oh, my God, his dicks out. which, you know, happens to the best of us. I know. Or was it like, also, it doesn't, you don't orgasm immediately. Like, that means he, there were, like, minutes involved. Are they talking during it? Is their eye contact?

Are they holding hands? Oh, not the eye contact. Mm-mm. Where is his eyes? I have so, I have so many questions. Was he like, yeah, it was cringe, but, like, we did it? Or was he, like, I hate that it happened? or was he like, silly old, you know Jay, just Jay being Jay.

Also, I want Jay's perspective. I want Jay to come in. So we do get an update. Just found it while looking for O.P.'s comments. I'm really scared. Aww. Okay. Pretty not safe for work below.

No crazy details. Sorry, perves. But yeah. I asked him to tell me what happened with Jay on that day, keeping it lighthearted. And he did. Originally, Jay was going to show him a video, but my husband was against it at the time, so Jay asked if he could show him a flashlight to point to where the clitoris was and whatnot,

and he said yes. Jay got excited while talking about his own experiences, demonstrated how to put on a condom, and, well, offered to show him how he does it. I had a few comments thinking that Jay took advantage of my husband, but he definitely doesn't agree or feel that way. My husband told me he said yes because he'd never seen someone do it before. And, as many of you have figured, was about 10 years too late to the sexual exploration phase of life. He and his siblings were all homeschooled for some added contacts.

They don't. They are flat earthers as well. As was I. Though that manifested in me being a little too invested in the vampire diaries more than anything else, L. O.L. From Jay's point of view, I think he just didn't give a fuck and was open to a fault, especially back then. Jay was raised similar to us, but once he turned 18, he broke from the whole feeling shameful about normal human things, so he did to complete 180, and yeah, maybe a bit too far or out there for

the average, well-adjusted person, but, you know, Alanis Morissette, we live, we learn. Obviously, my husband went into more detail about what he was thinking and feeling, but to not make this post even more of a novel and confusing to people who don't know all three of our histories, I tried to keep it to the basics. Hearing him talk about in-depth, definitely made me feel more relaxed. I asked him if he was bisexual and let him know that I'd be okay if he was, but he said he's not,

and it was more curiosity than anything else. Late Bloomer plus repression plus guilt triple combo does crazy things to the mind. Said afterwards that Jay bursted out laughing at how awkward it was and then they left to go eat Taco Bell. So really, not at all what I thought was going on in my head.

If Jay is bisexual, I'm not sure. probably won't ask him because if he wanted me to know, he would have told me already. I mean, it would have been relevant if he was single or if I was worried about infidelity, but I'm not. The gray area of watching him use a toy on himself, being considered cheating makes sense, but it was so long ago, I feel like it's only as big as I make it out to be. With the conversation we had, I don't think it rocks the boat all that much.

We deconstructed at different points of time, which, if you have any experience, you will know how huge and terrifying that is. were pretty solid. My husband called Jay to make a point, which he didn't have to, but he's stubborn. And when he started talking to him about it, Jay told him that it was, quote, the second gayest thing I've ever done. Obsessed to Jay. And, quote, was like trying to teach poetry to a fish, which resulted in my husband hanging up and sending him a huge block of text that consisted in. entirely of the middle finger emoji. So they got in a fight? They're in a couple's quarrel. Him and Jay. I'll try to see if I can attach some photos.

Jenny was your teacher. Have some respect. He helped you learn how to fuck. Come on. Sorry, Jay is an educator of the youth. And how to put on a condom. Honestly, the way she told the story, I'm like, look, crazy things happen behind closed doors. Also, men be men. Like gladiators, they all were like having sex with each. other. There is like a testosterone where I could probably see him being like, watch this bro. I literally just learned this about Achilles, that Achilles had a boyfriend. And they all were hooking up. And he dressed as a woman to like sneak into whatever camp or something. And they were like, you think Achilles was a big buff guy? No, like they said.

Achilles was sassy. They were like, Achilles was a twink. Wait, I'm obsessed. And I'm like, where do I get this accurate? Well, I think gender and sexuality was wasn't as defined at a certain point. Yeah. Everybody was just doing it. It's just cultural. It's just social construction. How much more like relaxing and enjoyable does that sound? I also do feel like men or guys when they're younger like at camp, they're playing with their dicks. Like they're showing each other their dicks. I feel like I've seen a lot of like really gay stuff lately coming from straight guys where like I saw this video of three baseballers on a pitching mound in like a triangle.

humping each other on the pitching mound. Have you seen the gay baseball video? My editor, Jenna, she's gay, and so she's tapped in. Yeah, she knows she has their gaiter. And she also loves baseball. And she loves baseball. She loves gay things in baseball, so it was perfect. Any thoughts?

I like that. She goes, I was into it. But I'm not like, look, I do think a lot of men are gay. But I'm not saying that every man's gay. I do think men are also, like, men masturbate before. girls do. Like men are talking about masturbating. They're doing all that stuff and they're kind of like, bro, look what I could do. So I feel like maybe Jay, look and not me being a J defender, but Jay kind of just being like, look at the testosterone, like watch this. Like look what I could do. Honestly, I do see the

mindset of like, buddy, it's your first time. You're going to have sex on your wedding. I wanted to actually be enjoyable for you. Like, let me help you. I actually do kind of see the teaching of person how to fish mentality here. Yeah. I kind of appreciate it. Also, when you feel bad for your friend where you're like, this is so embarrassing, I'll embarrass myself to help you be less embarrassed. Yeah. Yeah. It's weird. I think now... It's weird because you tell your friend

to watch porn when they're confused, but like he put the foot down with the porn. But also, and that's kind of like a hot topic nowadays where people are like, porn is not real, porn is not healthy. So some people actually might prefer a hand on demo. You could have used a banana though. Jay has a small business he can he can start sex ed classes. There's like a woman making like TikTok videos and she's like okay I'm going to be very discreet but like if you want to go down on a girl and have it be good like you lick that little ice cream cone for five minutes and then after five minutes then you put the fingers on the outside don't go in yet two three fingers just on the outside you got to create some uh

But she doesn't say any of the like word words, yeah. No. And I'm like, where was this? Yeah. But it's kind of the same concept. Yeah. But we're not in a room together. I'm like, sorry that Jay just wanted the world to be more educated. I want to know how their wedding night was.

She said it was great. She said it was amazing. So silver lining of it all. I don't. No one ever lost a virginity. And they were like, wow. I've really been missing. now. Mine was horrible. It was on like the carpet of my friend's basement, no furniture. It was like a

storage room. I got rug burns. There was a pillow kind of under me. No blankets. Just fucking buck naked in this basement. Buck naked. I'd have said that in forever. If I could go back, get buck in here. Let's get buck in here. We're so millennial. That was a bob. That was a bob. But I'm like, God, if I could take that back, I would. Getting caught in a car and having a a car come up behind us and turn their brights on as we're having sex in the back seat, I'd take that one off. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. See, as a New York City kid, we didn't have any car issues.

No one had cars. How was it for you? More enjoyable than that? No. Not good. Not good. Subway station bathroom? Some CTE football player, not good.

Oh. But also, it's because no one knows what they're doing. Yeah. So it's like, yeah, figured out. Was the mascot good? Bucky? No. No.

I'm not going to lie to the crowd. No. But it wasn't, it was like... Not traumatic. No. Yeah, there you go. That's a win. Yeah.

That's a win. I will say I did end up with the best sex I've had. Yeah. And like, some people are weird. They're like, you're not going to end up with the best, but it'll be good. And it's like, no, no, no. I actually ended up with the best. Me too.

Hey. There's a lot of fallacies out there. I know. Someone even said they were like, people are talking. horrible about marriage out there is anything okay is anyone in a good marriage and I'm like look negative stuff gets more attention that is true there are people who have nice partners I feel like you have a really good relationship with your husband and like great marriage you're like because I don't see you guys online well no like you've done your burner phone

podcast together like you guys just seem very in tune with each other and so excited when the other person is winning oh my god yeah which isn't the case for a lot of people. Well, you cannot have your biggest hater in your house. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. No, babe. Friend, husband. Don't settle. I think at the end of the day, if we're going to get anything from this story, don't settle. Don't settle. Don't settle. And get out. Find a guy like Jay who will guide you to better things. Exactly. And it's never too late to get divorced. Yep. Like, do not marry your biggest hater. Life is too short to not get out. Whenever anyone gets divorced or Goes through a breakup, I always say congratulations.

Like your balloon. Congratulations. This next person is in the midst of a divorce. Perfect. Here we go. This is coming from relationship advice. I, 32 female, think my husband's 40 male, mistress, is stalking me. We're currently separated after I found out he's been having an affair with the same person for years.

I found out five years ago, and we worked things out. He swore he had ended things with her and I believed him. We had our last child for male during that period. Since the year started, I had been getting messages on Facebook and Instagram from accounts with no followers telling me that my husband was having an affair. The DMs had details about the trips he had taken with her, how they go on dates, how they have a child together, and all of his friends, mom, and siblings knew her. I asked him often if he was still seeing her and he denied it. What pushed me over the edge was when I saw earrings and a scrunchy

that weren't mine in my car after he had borrowed it for the day. I went through his phone and saw that he was still in touch with her. They even had sex tapes and he was constantly telling her how much better sex was with her, how he loved her and wanted to be with her. it's obvious he's gotten very strong feelings for her. He admitted to everything, including the child they have together. I left to the house and went to my mom's to take a break.

We've been officially separated for a month. The problem now is that his mistress keeps showing up to places I go to often. The playground I take my kids to, the bookshop where I buy their school supplies, where I take the girls to get their hair done. We went to get ice cream once, and I could have sworn I saw her. I know what she looks like from the pictures and videos that they have together. I feel like I'm going crazy. These are all public places, though, so there's nothing I can do about it.

She just sits there and stares at us. It's making me feel very uneasy. What is the best way to address the situation? I can't ask for her to be kicked out of a public place. She's always with her daughter anyways, so it never looks weird that a woman is there with her child and are at the same place I go to with my kids. I'm not speaking to my husband unless it's about the kids, and I don't want to ask him yet.

Ask him what? How to make your mistress stop showing up at my ice cream place. I'm not a confrontational person, but I feel like that's when you can go up to her and be like, can I help you? You wouldn't mind your business? Like, is there something you need? Like, are you trying to be friends? Like, what's going on here? Because she's making you feel uncomfortable?

Yeah. You can go up to her and call her out. I, God, this is like my worst nightmare. Well, because you know she's been obsessed with her for a long time because she's had what she wanted, which is the marriage. The openness of it. Yeah, so she's been just like looking at her 24-7, talking about her 24-7. Like, it's an obsession. So she's like, but I don't know why now she's like putting herself out in the open.

Also talk about how to ruin someone's day. Oh. I can just like feel. that like stomach drop, like seeing someone you don't want to see or just like, oh, God. Especially when it sounds purposeful. Like, I don't know where they live, but I'm assuming it's not the only, you know, street in the town. I know. And it's like one time, okay, it's going to happen twice, three times. I think she should confront her and be like, hey, like, I would appreciate you not being everywhere I am. You would have to. I mean, it's absolutely crazy. And, you

you knew about me. I didn't know about you. So you get out of here. Like you go mind your business. Like you're getting what you wanted. I was blindsided by all of this. Get out, get away from me. Yeah. Like I feel like if anyone should, if they are going to the same place, if anyone has to find a new spot, should be the person who really dropped a grenade in someone's life. Well, it also sounds like the other girl has started just appearing. I think she's got to say something and be like, hey, I don't. feel comfortable with you here. And I know who you are. I know. And I really don't want to be around you. A lot of people in the comments are questioning if it's possible she planted an air tag in your car. Oh, Jesus. Uh-huh. Oh my God. I know. Someone says she definitely planted the

earrings and the scrunchy on purpose. Like one of them wasn't enough to make sure you'd find them. dot dot dot dot dot and I didn't even I totally forgot about the fact that she's been in O.P.'s car. Yeah, which is, it feels violating. It also, like, it is weird, though. It's hard to be in a public place and be like, can you leave? But it's like she has to confront her to make her know that, like, she does not feel comfortable with her around. Like, you've already violated my life and I'd really appreciate you, like, giving me space and, like, go spend time with my ex. Yeah.

Leave me alone and have fun with that. Take my husband. You got him. Yeah. He's nasty. I don't want him anymore. And watch out for other scrunchies in his car because the same way you get him is how you lose them. That's what they say in the streets.

Yeah, no, it's definitely going to be the case. This is like, this is, I wonder if it's like a small town because the people must be whispering. This is like level 10 drama. Because also that it's like in New York. If like I see someone, I'm like, I should not see anyone I know whenever I walk out. No. Or then you are stalking me. There's so many people there.

Um, we do get an update. I love the updates. They're kicking my feet. Thank you all for the advice. I confronted my husband about it. He said she's not showing up at the places I go to. I'm the one going to places she frequents. My husband used to be the one who took the kids out on weekends,

since he's virtually never home on weekdays. I do school pick up and drop off, and he does the fun stuff. All of the places he used to take the kids to, which I'm doing now since they're with me, were suggested by her. That's where she buys the books. The playground is where she used to take her nieces and nephews before their daughter was born. She recommended the salon to him since my daughters and her have the same hair texture. He says she used to go to the salon on Sundays after church, but only recently switched it to Saturdays when I take the girls. The ice cream place is apparently her favorite.

So yeah, my dick of a husband had been taking our kids to his mistress's favorite spots. My kids already love going to all of those places and finding a salon that caters to our daughter's hair needs close to us will be difficult. He didn't show any remorse telling me about it and reminding me that it's a public space and she hasn't committed any crime. I'm just going to have to find better alternatives. I hope there's other ice cream spots for those poor kids. Like, I want ice cream. But it's also, it's like, okay, tell me, tell me when she gets her hair did. Tell me her schedule so that I know not to stalk her.

Thank you. Like, make this easier for us. Yeah. Why are you not making it easier on me? Also, the kids are related. That's awkward. They're going to, I mean, just send them all together. I'm sure there's discount.

Like, this is unfortunately her life now going forward, which again, this is literally my worst nightmare. Yeah. I'm like, cheat on me, sure. But if you have a kid with someone while you cheat on me, well, only men could have two families and get, and like, it works. I know. I wonder if there's any women out there that actually do because they got like eggs harvested. Mm. You know what I mean?

Like accidentally. Well, that's happening now too. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. It's just he's able to be, like, working all day, and he has two women taking care of his separate families. Oh, yo, yo, yo, yo.

It's not looking good. Or trying to think of solutions, trying to be solution-based. I know. What could she do? It is giving small town 100%, saying, like, finding another solution close to home is going to be really difficult. I think maybe there's a mature route where you go up to her. And you're like, hey.

I feel super uncomfortable. The whole thing's been pretty gross and weird for me. And I feel violated by everything that's happened. I'm sorry, going to try to not run into you. What is your schedule look like so we can comfortably not run into each other? I love that. In a respectful, nice way. As hard as it is to be the bigger person, I think it will make your life a lot better by doing that.

And I always feel like at least communicating honestly. gets you in less trouble than trying to like hint and like go around people. It could just be like, hey, when do you bring your kids around? Because I really would like to not be around during that time. I don't want to see you. You don't want to see me. So let's make this as easy as we can. That's problem.

I think the woman does want to see her. I think she wants to rub it in her face. I will if you literally, like if I was taking my kids out to ice cream and my ex showed up with his affair partner and their kid and we're playing. and happy go lucky house in front of me, like the kids are going to run up and be like, daddy. No. The kids just make it so upsetting. I know.

Also, Morgan's hilarious. She was like, we're doing only light, funny ones today. I know. What did I do? We got to get back on track. We got to get back on track. I forgot I had these in the tabs. I fully lied.

The gossip. I also, who are these people who are like, let's write this one on Reddit. Reddit will figure this out. for me. I can see how because there's like been times in my life where I'm like it's too

embarrassing to tell or ask a friend. I would way rather ask strangers. And that's why the subred is so good. It's so good because it's people who are too ashamed to say things. I know. Or their friends are just too in it to give them like good advice. Genuine.

Yeah. Unbiased opinions. No. Okay, let's get it back on track with this next one. I'm hoping we get another update from OP. I could see it happening. Real account, two years old, but we don't have anything right now. And OP does say the kids don't have any devices that would share location. So we're going to see how this one goes.

Husband did make a conscious decision to be with her and have a child with her. It wasn't an accident. They actually decided to have a child together and did it. So this was a very deliberate choice. And he messed up. But I think OPE's going to come out the other side. Yes. Happy, healthy, healed.

Yes. And find someone that's way hotter anyways. Yes. Okay. Yes. Back on track. This next story is actually brought to you by Disney Plus and Hulu. Ah!

Y2K called, we picked up because Disney Plus, Hulu throwbacks, is back for the sequel. We've got Hannah Montana, Camp Rock, High School Musical, Lizzie McGuire, Aquamarine, all your faves. All your faves. Do you have a vintage fave? Oh my God. I loved, I loved Lizzie McGuire and all this weird basketball movies, like double team, which is crazy name. There were so many good, like Disney original movies. Disney originals. I love them. Princess Diaries. Oh, you know, it was my number one. What's the, what's the cartoon? Kim possible. So good.

So good. This next one has to do with our girl, Hannah Montana. Oh, hell yeah. Miss Miley. It's coming from Am I the Asshole, titled Am I the Asshole for telling my niece the truth about Hannah Montana? I have an eight-year-old niece, my sister, 28 females kid. I'm 16 female.

She thinks the Muppets are real. I was babysitting her yesterday, and she was watching Hannah Montana on Disney Plus, and she thought Hannah and Miley were different people. I explained that actually it's the same person. She just wears a blonde wig. My niece started crying, and when my sister found out, she went mad. She says, I ruined my niece's childhood by telling her this, and she says that any normal aunt wouldn't tell her the truth. I think she's wrong, but I wanted to ask the sub for your opinions. Should she have minded her business? I think she should have minded her business, but I also think, like, it's not that dramatic. Isn't the whole point of Hannah Montana that she is the same person but putting on a wig? Well, I think it's, Hannah Montana is the same person putting a wig, but then Miley Cyrus is a whole different person. I think we're just, she has to take it as like you're not ruining her childhood.

It's a learning moment that there's something called actors. And maybe you want to be an actor one day. And Miley Cyrus does acting in Hannah Montana. Like there's layers to it. I do think sometimes it is hard as an aunt, as an experience aunt. Okay. Flex on us. You do want to like have fun and make sure you don't overstep on what the parents are protecting.

Oh yeah. No, I don't ever want to ruin anything. The Santa Claus stuff is serious. Our friend in the North Pole. It's very, very serious. Big deal. Big deal. Very serious. And you do not want to be that person. But I feel like Hannah Montana, that's childhoods aren't getting ruined. No. We're learning about acting. That's a good way to put it. Yeah. Yeah. Because otherwise, like, what is she confused about? I also was a little too old for Hannah Montana where I kind of know what it's about, but that's not true. I'm literally Googling how old you are. Wait, some people my age did watch Hannah Montana. I did. Yeah.

Yeah, because you're a millennial. Yeah. My friend Lauren is in between you and me. And like Hannah Montana was her shit. So there's a girl who's a year younger than me who was like obsessed with Hannah Montana and I was like I've never watched it. I do think it was, it depends. Yeah. What were you watching?

What was that? But like Camp Rock I was too young for. I was too old for. And like... Lizzie McGuire makes sense then. John's brothers, I was a little too old for it. Yeah, no. Same for that.

Yeah. I just loved Miley. Yeah. Seems so cool. And her voice now, like, I'll see videos of her singing and I'm like, holy. All of her rock covers. I know that you're wrong for me. Here you go again.

I've been telling you since the last episode we did, it's time to start singing. You have opera in your blood. It is time. Don't. Why? I cannot sing. Yes, you can. Wait, you can sing.

No, I can. Yes, you can. If I can sing, you can sing. There is no difference. Yang and yang. Wait, is this from when I said that I think I could accidentally hit the wicked note? Yeah, and you gave us a little sample. That was such a phase.

I was in. I was like obsessed with trying to hit the wicked note. If you were going to sing karaoke right now, what would your song be? Wait, this is so horrible. My song always used to be remixed to Ignatious. Are there actual lyrics? It's the remix to ignition Hot refresh out the kitchen

Mama rolling up It was very easy to sing Okay Now I do not Represent Or play that I don't know what I do now What would you align with

Maybe like I would do like a rap Like Eminem or something Mom spaghetti Okay I could see that I would do maybe a rap But my mom sings jazz Like my mom is a musician I'm a talker

I don't sing from my diaphragm They lost me on what they said diaphragm I honestly think you and Paige should put out a Christmas album If we if we if I could sing like I would be so annoying Like I would be non-stop saying Also like if I could do splits like if I could do the splits I'd be in a split right now You absolutely can you just have to train

You just have to train You haven't seen my hips You're gonna show me after this Girl I can barely touch my toes It's genetic no way Yeah it's genetic You couldn't touch your toes right now? No

Okay Um And I'm like trying Do you go to yoga? I do yoga I do Pilates Just haven't I have a long torso

I feel like like Mm yeah There's something off Anatomically maybe just impossible If I could do splits I would be doing like I would do nonstop Like mid conversation Drop into a split like

No I have a friend that can 100% she does it She does it literally I have pictures of her At my wedding Drop down in the splits All I would do is splits and the universe couldn't handle that. She also can get her foot over her head.

So we'd be out at the club and we'd be like standing around the booth like up on elevated surfaces as girls do. And she would literally just constantly be sitting there with her like leg held up against her face with like a cocktail in her hand. If I could, I would too. Whitney, man. So I have respect for Whitney. Shout out Whitney. I know. With that leg.

Oh, she worked that leg. It's like wrapped around. I would love. That's actually going to be a goal for me for 2027, not this year too busy. But I'm going to get my foot behind my head. See, that's such a like former dancer thing to say. Did you dance? No.

I literally signed up for dance for a couple months. And then when it came to the recital, I didn't want to perform in front of people. So I quit. Obsessed with you. Now you perform for a living. And the song was that one Sierra song that everyone danced to. All the, um, the dance team girls were like, one two step. I love it.

That's what I did. 15 year olds dancing that song. I was like, you go girls. You go girls. Oh my God. Top comment on this one. Not the asshole. So I looked it up as well, and the entire premise is like that it's a superhero identity.

Regular girl by day, rock star by night. So it would be like telling me that Superman and Clark Kent is really the same person, which the movie makes clear. I think your sister is nuts with the you've ruined her life, whatever. Not like you said someone else was fake. But that's all we got. Thank you, Disney. Thank you, Disney. Rewind your favorite throwbacks from Disney Plus and Hulu. All of these and more. Now totally streaming.

18 plus only. Offer valid for eligible subscribers only, terms of lie. You know what else is on Hulu? Our girl. My special June 5th is out. None of my business. That's my business. Hot takes. Are you so excited?

I'm so excited. It feels like you like been painting. something for a long time and you finally can like show that that was a bad metaphor. It's like a project they've been working out for so long to finally be like there it is. How many times have you watched it? Oh my God. Like going through the edits and everything. The edits was

really intense because taking a live show to them make it into like something you watch is not it's like someone filming Broadway and then being like okay now make it into a film. So I was and I'm really into editing. So I was like in the editing room because you could Things can become unfunny with the wrong edits easily. There's so much storytelling and editing that people don't realize. And no one cares about it the way you care about it.

So it was like edited the first round and I'm like, we got to go through this with a fine tooth comb. And you filmed in Toronto, right? I filmed in Toronto. Which like such a fun city. So fun. It was freezing in February, but like so worth it because the comedy crowd in Toronto is incredible. And you do two shows and then you have to like edit it together. That's crazy.

Yeah. And you're fit? Oh my God. I ripped my corset like three times during it. Worth it. I saw you post on your story, you going and seeing your billboard. Oh, yeah. And like that fit, full size, full screen, crazy.

Like, what, 60 foot screen and three of you? Well, I want to show that girls can be funny and sexy and depressed and bosses, like so many things. You don't have to be the ugly side friend to be funny. I appreciate that. Yeah. The Duff. Yes. That was like the crazy marketing. That was like, I can't believe we were stuck in the deaf phase for so long.

I remember seeing that and being like, I'm not watching this movie. This is insane. I can't be a part of this. Which is a designated ugly funny friend? I think it's fat. Oh, God, that's even worse. Or it might not be. I mean, that's bad. Wait. I don't want to know. It's just going to hurt my feelings. It's one of them, but it's basically being like,

You have, everyone has, no. It's so bad. It's just calling someone ugly. I like how we've become more girls' girls these days. Girls, girls. Yes. Yes. Gals, girls.

Yes. It just feels so happy and healthy. And our last one is kind of along that vibe. Love. And it actually reminds me of your friend, Sierra. Oh my God, what's happening? What isn't happening right now over in that world? It's insane.

I also love seeing all these videos being like, Hannah was right. Hannah was right. Here we are. How many years later? Hannah was right. And I'm like, yes. Oh, God. It is funny because it's like WWE where like people thought a certain way.

Now they're like turning. So it is, look, it is kind of funny. It's insane. Because I remember when we first met, you were like leaving that behind you and doing the podcast. Doing therapy. Doing a lot of therapy. And you We don't have to keep this in if you don't want it

But I remember you just being like I got a bad at it Come here, babe But it is crazy how like things come to light And for anyone who feels like they feel misunderstood Or things didn't go their way Keep focusing on you Don't wish bad on other people

Don't try to get revenge, focus on you And things It might take a long time You got to be patient Hey, you did say you believe in karma. Things will work itself out. And I have a couple more things that I need to be worked out. But for now,

I got some other stuff I'm working on. But for now, it's just do focus on what you can control. And reality TV is something that I couldn't control. No. It just like really does speak to the stay in your lane, keep doing you, be a good person. And like everything good. If you are good, will come to you.

Because you have just, I mean, your career is just. It's mind-blowing. It is so amazing to see how, and you work your ass off. Like, nothing comes easy. Like, you grind. You were probably one of the hardest workers I know. Thank you. But I also think, like, having ups and downs in your career, like, helps you be humble,

helps you lose your ego and helps you get a little chip on your shoulder to be like, I actually do want to, like, get this and accomplish this. Because if you're just at peace, you're not touring 70 cities. That's not a person at peace. I was going to ask you how many you did because literally you were doing doubleheaders. 70 cities. A line everywhere in one year. Yes, but you know what? Being on tour is fun because you like aren't really living life. You get to be in this like, like you almost aren't stressed because you're just trying to make it to the next flight. No. And get on stage on time. And chick is canceled and there's weather. It's constant. Like the cortisol is not good. But like you're not sitting alone with your own thoughts. Like you're just always on the run. But then at some point you're like, I need action. like see my friends see my family like live my life and 70 cities and a huge successful podcast and married life and friends like I love work you do too like this is what brings us joy I do

love it most days most days there's ups and down like the highs are really high the lows are really low yeah but it's like it's what I enjoy right now but I'm not going to tour forever like you can't be like you know 75 with my cat like so so I'm sorry go to Hulu and watch her well she's half. Go to Hulu, watch my special. Message me. Tell me your favorite jokes. I love to hear what people, like, connected with.

The grinding one you've teased. I'm already just like, it's so good. Go to grab it. Should I post the full one first of the grinding bit? Or do you feel like people already like kind of got the joke? I mean, there's a lot more to the joke. I feel like I should put the whole joke first because I love that joke so much. It is iconic.

Oh my God, thank you. And just the way like your body comedy from what I've seen of this special is like, up another level. I do think like physically and mentally I was more comfortable in my skin on stage. That's just from doing more comedy. So I was like a little bit of a looser goose. Oh my God. I'm so excited. Thank you. Literally this episode comes out and your special drops and I'm gonna be sitting there in my app just refreshing. You're the best and to have like such a badass like you supporting me is really warms my heart. It really warms my heart. Okay, this last one for us. Coming from Am I the Asshole, titled, Am I the Asshole for not changing my outfit for a friend's birthday dinner because my ex said his new girlfriend would be uncomfortable.

I, 24 female, and my ex, Ryan, 26 male, broke up about eight months ago. It was mutual. No big blow up. We just ran our course. We have the same friend group, so we both made the effort to stay cool with each other, and honestly, it's been fine. After the breakup, I had a few rough months. Nothing dramatic. I just kind of lost myself a little bit. The last three or four months, though, I've genuinely felt better. Eating properly, going to the gym consistently, therapy every two weeks. I'm not trying to make this about my appearance, but I feel more confident than I have in years, and it shows. Our friend Danielle had a birthday dinner last weekend. Group reservation at a nice restaurant, about 12 people. I was excited. I bought a new dress for it. Nothing crazy, just a nice fitted dress, appropriate for a dinner out. Two days before the

dinner, Ryan, my ex, texted me privately, asking if I could, quote, dress it down a bit for the night. I asked what he meant. He said his new girlfriend, Jade, would be there, and she had already seen a photo of me from another recent outing and was feeling anxious about meeting me, and he was. He just wanted the night to go smoothly. I read that three times. I told him I bought the dress for Danielle's birthday dinner, and I was wearing it. He said he wasn't trying to fight about it. He was just asking as a courtesy, and that I was making it into something bigger than it was. I said, asking me to change my outfit so your girlfriend feels better about herself is not a small ask. He left it at that. The dinner was fine. Jay,

was perfectly pleasant to my face. Nothing weird happened. Ryan was a bit off with me the whole night, but we managed. Now, two of our friends think that I could have just worn something else and kept the piece. The others think that Ryan had absolutely no business sending that text. Am I the asshole? But they didn't even know what she was going to wear anyway. She could have been like, this is the looser dress. Just tone it down. This is, crazy. This is triggering. I don't know. I'm about to freak out. Dress it down. There's so many different elements of it. First of all, there's no way the girlfriend wanted him to tell her that. No, why are you doing your girlfriend dirty like that?

Like she can say like, him insecure, like she's really pretty. That's such a man thing to be like, we're a baggie outfit, like, as if that's going to make her less pretty. Also, if I was going to a dinner that I knew my ex-boyfriend was going to be at and my ex-texted me saying, you just look a little gross uglier oh that would go to my head also that's very

controlling behavior telling a girl does not even your girlfriend how she can dress mind your business get out of here also is he literally like hey you're too hot

you're too hot I mean I would be like that would make my head big I'd be like okay clearly I'm that girl that's what I'm saying I'm that girl so take it as a compliment

you're that girl but he's a damn mess I know and Jade probably didn't even want that smoke and yeah and Jade did not want be part of this, leave it out of it, and great name. And who are these friends being like, you should have worn something? What? Like, is he picking out my wardrobe every morning?

It's weird. We've been broken up for eight months now, almost a year. This reminds me once an ex told me I, like, couldn't go to a comedy club that he goes to. And I was like, I'm a comedian. Like, you can't tell me. Funny, I'm going to be performing there. I don't go there. Like, what? So it's like they're out of the relationship with you, but they're still trying to control you. And I'm like, bro, you don't have tabs on me anymore. I'm not accessible to you anymore.

There's no way Jade wanted that anyway. No. And Jade seems like she's actually like a cool girl. Like she's already seen a photo of me from another outing and was feeling anxious about meeting me, wanted it to go smoothly. Jade's not being like, oh my God. Like, it doesn't sound like Jade is talking shit. But I wonder if Jade knows if all the. friends know that he did this.

I wonder. Because I would be pissed. I would be like, why did you do that to me? Also, there's no way Jade would have acted normal knowing that he texted her that. That's true. Yeah. Because I would have been even more anxious around that person. Oh, if my partner did that to me, it's like you just made me look so insecure.

Yeah. So bad. I'm also surprised she told him, though. Let's get some more acting in our relationships. Never tell a man that you're insecure. because his ex is pretty. I literally only saw a picture of my husband's ex like a year ago. Like I think we finally got married and I was like, what does your ex look like?

Yeah. Also, part of me is like, I want his ex to be hot. Yeah. Like I'm like, I want a man who has taste. Thank you. I want him to be like, yeah, this is the level of, you know, lady that I like to be around. Like he's out kicking his coverage consistently. If he's with a gross ex, I'd be like, oh no, is that me?

Like what? Yeah, no, I want you to like have hot exes. I want a man who's a sommelier of sexy women. Yes. Yes. The title of the episode. Somalié. That's literally some male podcasters going to hear that and be like, that's a rebrand. It's like a new like dating advice book. Somalié of sexy women.

Don't give them ideas, Hannah. I do have a little thing though. I don't like when a guy's like dated blondes. before me. I don't like that. What do you have against us? Because then I'm like, do you even have a type? Oh, okay, we're done here.

No, but do you have a type? Like, I want the girls before me to look like me. Oh. I want them to have similar hair, similar body type. Okay. Like, okay, I'm clearly, this is what he's into. I know some guys are more random. Yeah.

But the men that I've, like, if you put all my men in a lineup, you'd be like, yeah. It fits. these guys are pretty similar. And I do think, you know, guys will have one-offs, but like the long-term relationships. Even like if his celebrity crush, for example. Yeah. That actually says a lot about a dude. Says a lot. I actually got really nervous once asking a guy whose celebrity crush was. This, okay, for example, like when I was younger, this guy said his celebrity crush was J-Lo. I was happy with that because I was like, I have a fat ass. She is a fat ass. We're brunettes. We are, I think she's a Leo.

I'm like, this is great. Like, I feel like I could understand how he got there. But if it's like a shy blonde. That's not me. That's, babe, you're barking up the wrong tree. Barking up the wrong tree. Let's not do this. Like, if your ex only dated brunettes, I mean, your boyfriend or husband, only

day brunettes, would that make you feel a type of way at all? No, it's honestly, I saw his ex. There's two types of women in the world. He dated his like, he was like literally with his high school sweetheart until like junior year of college. And then found out she was cheating on him with a guy that he was making his music. And literally like in the booth was rapping like, I'm fucking your girl and you don't even know it. And then he like accidentally found like an I message popped up on her computer while she was on a run. That's how he found out.

So where can I watch that movie? I know. Um, I saw a picture of her about a year ago. Maybe maybe year and a half ago now. I don't even know. But, um, no, it was fine. I'm like, fine. and then the girl he dated right before me, her name was Morgan.

So he went from Morgan to Morgan. That was a little bit of kind of out. I'm like his name we're saying during sex right now. I know which one. Which Morgan are you thinking of? Morgan one or two. And who's one or two? Well, I'd be two.

She came first. Which chicken or the egg? She was first. I also like when I break up with a guy and then he ends up with a girl who also looks like me, then I'm like he's literally obsessed with me. Okay. I have a girlfriend. I'm like, move on, you're creep.

That. I have a girlfriend. that every single girl this guy is dated after her, clones. Like, he seeks out women that look like her. I once, there was a guy I dated who his mom came up to me thinking I was his new girlfriend because I look so similar to his current girlfriend. No. And I was like, oh.

Nope. No. But look, he knows what he likes. What do you think about the saying that guys will try to go after people that look like their moms? That one I hate I could see a little bit of edipus complex thing happening

potentially I have a theory though My one weird theory of that is I think you go for people That smell like you Like a pheromone thing Like I think my husband smells like my family There's studies on this Yeah like I smell him like his like just like his forehead

If I smell his forehead I'm like it reminds me of home That's beautiful Yeah this got so so sweet That's absolutely beautiful. No, you are actually, you're more attracted to people that are genetically similar to you. Yeah, so I don't know if it's exactly looks. And it's funny because I don't, I think I like guys who are like confident or outgoing like my dad. But like I end up, I love guys with blue eyes. There's no man with blue eyes in my family. So that's just a, that's just my kink. I'm just, you know, some people have torso dolls. I like blue eyes. Well, you ended up with the right guy. You ended up with the right guy.

I cannot wait to get him on the podcast. He's going to be so fun. Oh my God. I know next New York trip. He actually has a special coming out soon. So yeah. Well, there we go. We got to pay attention to yours right now.

Yes, true. We'll get him his time to shine eventually. You're right. You're right. It's fine. Don't talk about him. Where can people find you? This has been absolutely.

Oh, my God. So much fun. Incredible as always. Hannah burner everywhere. My special's out on Hulu. I know. We're going to link it. It'll be in the description.

So easy to find. You're the fucking best. And yeah. And listen to Giggly Squad. I know. I know. I know. Before we started, Hannah was like, I tried to get Paige.

We almost got Paige on. One of these times. Page is coming to L.A. tonight. What the fuck? We'll get it. We'll get her. We'll get it. I'm chattier.

We'll get more champagne. We'll do it again. Yep. That's all good. But make sure you watch the special. I'm going to be like sharing clips that Hannah Post. Like we are all going to be like Kiki ha haas together. Thank you.

I wish we could do like a... Are you gonna do a live watch party? I don't know. I still have to figure out what I'm gonna do for the day. We'll chat. We'll figure it out. We all need to do maybe a book club after we watched this. You know, kind of like a recap of like, how do we feel?

Like, are we laughing? What was your favorite part? Oh. Yeah, we needed like a none of my business book club after. We're gonna chat friends. We're gonna chat. Yeah. But thank you guys so much for being here another episode.

check out Hannah, especially the special. And until next time, guys.