Two Hot Takes - 274: Can't Think Straight Ft. Hayley Kiyoko & Crew

Episode Date: June 18, 2026

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Hayley Kiyoko along with a few THT regulars for our PRIDE episode! Hayley is gearing up for the release of her movie Girls like Girls so it's the perfect time to have her shed some takes on LGBTQ+ stories. Then we have Jenna, Michaela, and Dad hoping in for a few more. Happy Pride family!! Sending you all so much love, especially those that may not be in the place to be your out self quite yet. Share your thoughts in the comments as I can't wait to see them! Checkout Hayley's Movie Girls Like Girls!!!: https://www.focusfeatures.com/girls-like-girls Partners: Credit Karma: Download Credit Karma today and get the credit you deserve. Skims: Skims.com/THT Patreon BONUS Content including FREE stories: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ NEW MERCH:  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://shop.twohottakes.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ WRITE IN TO US!! Our SubReddit! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Index: 00:00 -- Start Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I'm so excited to have you today. I'm so excited to be here. We've got Haley Kiyoko in the house. The crowd goes wild. We'll put sound effects in for you. You'll feel the love. You have such a crazy story. I feel like the lore, like do you get told you're like, gosh, your lore is so good.

No, but thank you so much. Really? Well, I mean, people call me like not an underdog, but like I do have an, I guess I do have an interesting lore. Like, I've been around for a while. Disney Star, Lemonade Mouth. I don't call myself a Disney Star, but that's so sweet of you. Lemonade Mouth, Jenna was like, great movie. It's so good.

Thank you. Wizards of Waverly Place. Then you ended up going on tour with Taylor Swift. Well, I performed with her. Okay. But, yeah. Same thing. That was still epic.

I mean, it's Swift. And then you are just this amazing, successful music artist, turned author, now director. Listen, we got to catch them all. We're trying over here. I love it. I absolutely love it. I'm so excited you're joining me on this episode. It's Pride Month and your movie Girls Like Girls really just encapsulates so many. I feel like real struggles that people go through. And I watched it last night and this morning. And I'm like, oh my God, it's so good. Thank you. And it's so cute and relatable. And it just, it's something that I think so many people can. relate to of like finding yourself and dealing with you know adversity and struggles and it's just it's such a good movie thank you i like i i've been saying like even though this movie is called girls like girls and it does capture this moment in time where i fell in love with this girl you know back in high school it is such a relatable story because whether you're queer or not everyone has had that moment or that one person where they had to confront them to be like do you like me or not

Is this going somewhere? Yeah. Or do we have a future? Like, every single person has that one person. And when you go see this movie, it unlocks that. For sure. I could feel the tension. Yeah.

I literally, I'm like, oh, that reminds me of that one person. I could feel it. And I'm like, I put myself right back in those shoes. Oh, good. Oh, my God. I was like, I do not miss high school. Yeah. I'm when you're 16, 17, falling in love, it feels like life or death.

It does. So, you know, it's important to me with my directorial day. to like approach it with a mature lens. It's like they are like our lead. She was 18 when we shot this. But it has this mature lens because they think they're like 35. They think like when you meet your crush, you're like this is the person I'm getting married to. Yeah.

No, that was me. I was 16 going on 40. Yeah. And it was just like you feel, you do feel like it's life or death and the weight of the world and everything's on you. And I mean, her struggles too. Coley struggles just to be like, I hate myself. And I'm like, oh my God, Ben there, done. that too. Like it's just it's you capture so much and you really do feel it. It's, it's an amazing

movie. I'm so excited for people to see it. It's going to be so good. June 19th, you guys. So put it on your list already. Opening weekend is vital for the gays, the allies, everyone to show up in theaters. This has been a 10-year journey, which is wild. It is, I don't recommend putting in 10 years of energy into something because it's so intense. Like it feels like a lot of pressure, but it's also so exciting for my community. And we've been needing a story like this for so long. Did you know that you wanted to make it a movie when you put the song out initially? Not initially when we released the music video.

And I saw the comments and people being like, this needs to be a feature film. I was like, oh my gosh, I've never gotten to buy a ticket. And I go to a theater and get to see a movie like this. Like, oh my gosh, we do need this into a movie. And then you did the book first. And then I did the book because the movie thing wasn't panning out. It was kind of like my Hail Mary of like, well, if I die tomorrow, at least the story will exist and live on. And then that became a number one New York Times bestseller, which then catapulted.

We're skipping a lot of trauma, you guys. We're doing the victory lap right now. But then that led to the greenlight of the film end of 2023, shot the movie in 2024. And here we are in 2026. Here we are. It's incredible. I read your story graph reviews for the book, too. Oh.

And it's so good. Oh, thanks. People are just blown away. They're like, Haley can write? Like, okay. And so if you're a reader too, like start with the book, then go see the movie. I'm really proud of the book. Really good.

Go read the book. Go see the movie. They're both. And listen, now I understand. Like, you know, you read the book, Twilight, you go see the movie. It's a different experience. They're, you know, Girls like Girls like Girls, the book and the movie are like sisters, but you know, you can't, a book is a book and a movie is a

movie. And so the movie is the most authentic version of this story. But, you know, like in a book, you can talk about someone's jacket for three pages and then in a movie, it's like a glance. Yeah. And so what's been unique about this universe is I've been able to be a part of every step of every way. And it's been like challenging for me to have to almost like top myself every time. Whereas like, how do I tell this story with a different perspective? And I think because this journey has been 10 years long, I've changed. You know, when I released Girls Like Girls in 2015, I wasn't confident in who I was. I was uncomfortable with who I was.

And now I'm here on stage waving a rainbow flag. And so this story also evolves. And even from the book experience seeing the movie, my fans will see that evolution as well. I love it. Well, let's get into these stories. I know you're going to have some good takes on them. I'm excited. Let's dive in.

So curious. This episode of Two Hot Takes is presented by Credit Karma. You're on your phone constantly. Shouldn't those bills count towards your credit? With Credit Spark by Intuit Credit Karma, they do. Build credit history using payments like phone bills or utilities. No debt, totally free, and missed payments aren't recorded. Not all lenders use TransUnion credit reports or scores impacted by Credit Spark.

But if you're at or below 660 and looking to build credit history, download credit karma today and get the credit you deserve. Up first for us here. This is coming from R slash true off my chest, a subreddit where people just go and share. So it's titled, I've 29 male never questioned my sexuality until I met this coworker. I don't really know who to talk to about this. So I guess I'm asking Reddit. I, 29 male, have been working with my coworker, 32 male. for about seven months now. Let's call him John. We work as junior chefs in a commercial kitchen.

The kitchen environment is constant pressure and extremely fast-paced. That means that most of the time, you can't avoid getting heated with your teammates, and John and I have definitely fought a few times. However, we eventually get over it at the end of every service by having drinks with the whole team before heading home. Since I don't have my own vehicle and I use public transport, John sometimes offers me a ride. He drops me off at the end of my street near my house because he heads the same route just a little bit further out. During the time we spend together at work and in his car,

we've really gotten to know each other. He went through a divorce last August and was completely heartbroken, though he still gets to see his child, so that keeps him going. As we opened up about our lives, we got so close that our teammates started calling us best buddies. Now I want to be clear and say that I've never been attracted to guys ever. I've only ever had girlfriends. And I assume John is the same.

We banter all the time and we'll playfully caress each other, you know, the typical straight guys acting gay thing. But lately, I feel like I just love being around him. It's hard to admit, but I've started liking his touch and the way he smiles at me. I actually look forward to the shifts where we work together. I don't know if I'm overthinking, but whenever we're bantering, it takes him a long time to break eye contact when he's smiling. That's a sign.

It's like we talk shit, laugh, and then just pause and time staring at each other. It's been like this for a while. Two nights ago, I was on my way home with him because he had offered me a ride again. We talked about how shitty the service was that night. The silence in the car felt different when he dropped me off. He didn't just pull away like usual. He kept the engine running and just looked at me for a second that felt too long. That same lingering smile on his face.

I reached for the door handle, but my heart was pounding so loud I was sure he could hear it. We both just sat there for a moment before we caught each other's eyes and let out this really forced, awkward laugh. We mumbled a quick, see you tomorrow, and I got out of the car. Now I'm laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering if I'm losing my mind or if that awkwardness was actually him feeling the exact same pull that I am. Again, I've never been attracted to men before and I don't know what's happening. I'm confused and scared at the same time. You've got a lovely reading voice. I just felt like I was about to like take a rest listening to

this beautiful gay story. That's why I provide blankets. But like I, you can almost put yourself in his shoes where you're like, what are these feelings? Girls like girls coded. Yep. It's sounding homosexual. It's sounding a little gay. The thing is, is the other guy, John, could be also confused as well. And maybe it's tough because like sometimes you're like, oh, is John just lonely and needing connection.

And they have this like best buddy connection. But on the other side of the coin, he could totally be feeling the same way as the other guy. It's sounding gay to me. I've done lots of lingering in cars, the eye contact, they're like, ha ha, ha, like when we don't really know what to say. Like, I feel like people who are comfortable with their sexuality are very like, I guess, like, comfortable. I guess when I look back at like my moments in high school and in my early 20s when girls were, you know, had never dated a girl, but they're hanging out with me. And I'm like, do they like me or not? normally the straight ones are very there's not the awkward silences the awkward lingers the touch

of the hand like they're normally pretty confident in who they are yeah the ones that are a little confused are the ones that were giving me that space so that's given me a little gay well especially the caressing when he said that I was kind of like wait that's not normal I was like I don't I don't know if that's straight guys acting gay I'm not caressing my best friend yeah exactly and I'm gay so if I I'm caressing you. There's a reason for that. There's a reason. There's a reason you're touching and you're seeking out that touch.

And then he's like, I kind of like the touch and it's like your body's telling you. I know. What your mind maybe isn't. But isn't that crazy? Like this guy is 29 years old. Yeah. You know, he's not 15. And when I was getting girls like girls made, like people would be like, oh, like, do we need a story like this?

And I was like, what do you mean? Like people are in their 30s and 40s and still figuring out. out who they love and who they are and who they're becoming. And it's like representation where you can go, you know, this guy might go see a movie and or go see girls like girls and be like, oh my gosh, he's, he's being a sonia on me. You know, like it unlocks these, it identifies and validates these feelings. And it just goes back to like representation because when you've never been through something, you don't know until you see something or you meet someone who's also experienced the same thing. I think that's something that's coming up quite a bit on Reddit, especially right now, is people that have gotten married.

And now they're like, you know, I waited to have sex until marriage. I thought that my feelings and these thoughts would kind of go away with that. And now that I'm married and I've been with my wife for three years, like I'm realizing this is wrong. But like I was so ashamed and I didn't know what this meant. And so I think I'm on board with you, like having a movie where it's like, no, it's not. shameful to be yourself. Yeah, and it's okay to be confused and wanting to explore. And, like, obviously, you don't want to, like, hurt people, you know, at someone else's expense.

But I think that, like, you know, if this chef guy watched a movie like Girls Like Girls and literally was like, oh, that is John, then, like, he'd be like, oh, okay, I know what's going on. Or maybe he'll watch and be like, oh, that's not what we do. Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, you know. The top comment on this one basically says, quote, we banter all the time and playfully caress each other. You know, the typical straight guys acting gay thing. They're quoting O.P. Yeah.

And they go, yeah. No. That's not typical. Not typical. But I love that for him. And I hope he goes for it. Yeah. A lot of people are like.

Rooting him on? A lot. Okay. A lot. Because what can happen? It again goes back to what we were talking about. The universal thing is like all he has to do is ask John, hey, do you have feelings for me? Do you feel what I feel? Like and but that's terrifying for people.

How do you go about that? Because you are engaged to Becca, Becca famously on the Bachelor franchise. And it was kind of like you talk about it how like you met at your release party and like you kind of were immediately interested. But how do you gauge someone who hasn't been clearly out or how do you proceed with that? With Becca was very different because I'm actually, I present. confident, but I'm actually very shy. Okay. And the only reason why I'm engaged is because Becca made the first move. So like when Becca was very different because we had a connection, she didn't know we had a connection, but I knew we had a connection.

And then Becca actually made the first move. Okay. So it became crystal clear. Oh, okay. We both feel the same way. Okay. But before Becca era and life, it would be confusing. And I'd go on dates or not even dates.

I just like meet someone and. hit it off and then I would have to do this whole like does do they like me or not and like you're kind of testing the waters and get in caressing a little more and venturing you know all the stuff to the point where then you have to be like hey do you like me hey you know are you going to kiss me like where we at and it's funny one of the scenes in girls like girls is actually you watched it last night is from when she goes to the girl's house to get her jacket yeah And she's like, are you going to, you know, do you like me or not? And that was a real scene that I lived where I went to go get this jacket that I left at this

girl's house. And I was like, are you going to kiss me or what? And she just like stared at me. Because you get to this point where you're like, I have to use my words. Like the gazing is not, the gazing is not enough. It's not enough. No. So, but it's really great when you meet someone who is comfortable with who they are.

And like when I met Becca, she was like, I haven't been with girls before, but I can't deny this connection that we have. So we need to explore this. And I'm really grateful for that. And obviously it worked out. Yeah, absolutely. I know. How long have you guys been together now, total? Eight years.

Oh my gosh. I love it. Eight years this year. That's so exciting. So exciting. Yeah. Something you guys talk about that I love is you say that you weren't secret. You were just private.

Yes. And I think there's a big distinction between that. And this next story is definitely secret, not just private. Okay, let's see if this triggers me. So it might. It really might. So this is coming from our own Too Hot Takes subreddit. It's titled, Am I the Asshole? I, 22 female, broke up with my girlfriend, 21 female, of seven years for staying silent. I, 22 female, had the shittiest breakup I could ever go through. I broke up with my girlfriend of seven years. Even though she was in the closet, I respected her decision to stay in. I truly didn't want to rush her out or put pressure onto her for coming out. The only people who knew were a select group of close friends and she wasn't comfortable being together slash looking like a couple in public, so she would often introduce me as her best friend to other people and would always say that

she's single. This made me uncomfortable, but I, I didn't think to reach out to her about it because it might put pressure on her to then come out. But things took a different turn when she started to hang out with this all-boys friend group this year in college. She would often invite me to hang out with them. The group of boys would openly hit on her and she would be eating it up while I was in the room with them. She didn't reciprocate it, but she didn't shut it down either. I tried to communicate to her how this bothered me, but she would still dismiss it saying that I'm overreacting and that. it's just boys being boys.

Ooh. Things took a bad turn when she accidentally dropped that I'm a lesbian and the entire group proceeded to make jokes about my sexuality. At that point, I was too shocked to speak because they did not give any signs that they were homophobic up until this point. Maybe it's because I'm not conventionally attractive as her. So that's why they said what they said. But even then, she didn't even defend me and ended up just staying.

silent. It took her three days to reach out to me while I was literally trying to speak to her about the situation. We got into a huge fight over this and I couldn't take it and I broke up with her. She got upset with me because, quote, she wasn't the one to say all that crap, but I told her that her silence was enough and I broke up with her. She cursed me out, told me why it was a chore to be with me and blocked me everywhere. It took a while to open up to our friends and most have sided with me, but some said I should have been more understanding of her and that she wasn't the only one truly at fault, and it was just one mistake. She also did mention that it was a mistake that she stayed quiet, but we'll learn her lesson now. But I don't want to listen to her and I just decided

to break it off. This made me overthink. And now, I don't know, did I throw away a seven-year relationship over one mistake? Am I the asshole? No. No. That brings me. That brings you. That brings you. up a lot of feelings. Oh, this would sound to me. Let me take you down memory lane a little bit. I one time was in a relationship in secret, okay, not private in secret. And my girlfriend took me on a date with a man. She went on a date with a man and brought me as the third wheel.

Stop. That crosses a line. And so I think, like, listen, you might fall in love with someone. And they might be on a different timeline. And that's okay. And that might mean that your timelines just don't work out. I think it's fair that this person decided, you know, enough is enough. I was okay with being, you know, in secret to a degree for seven years is a very long time.

And that doesn't mean that the other girl needs to be comfortable. It just means like in those scenarios, like there could have been situations of like, hey, don't say that. Like that's, she's my friend. I love her. Like, like, I think it crossed a line in many different ways. You know, and with Becca and I's relationship, again, we weren't in secret or we're just in private. But like if, you know, we were out, like she would still hold my hand or like, you know, if someone said something to me, she would definitely speak up for me. You know what I mean? Like, it's just very different. She's not taking me on doing. dates with other people. No.

You know, like there's like, there's the crazy. That is like not love in my opinion. And I think it's like okay to be in a relationship, someone to be like, I'm ready to be out. They're not ready to be out. You do that relationship for a while. And then there might be a point where you can't wait anymore. And that doesn't mean that you don't love them. It doesn't mean that you're putting pressure on.

You don't want to put pressure on them. But like the reality is you guys are in two different timelines. And maybe that person will be ready in five years. And if you're not, if you don't want to wait five years, like, that doesn't make you an asshole. No. You know, act with love and be like, listen, I don't want to rush you. You're on your own journey. And I'm going to respect that.

And I'm also on my own journey. So I think it's a very like, it's a fine line of like also respecting yourself. And I think growing up in the closet as a queer person for myself and my experience, I did unfortunately get in those situations all the time where I didn't respect myself. And I didn't go, wait a second, this is not fair to me regardless of what you're navigating and where you're at. Like, this is actually not kind. 21 is still young. So young.

And that's okay, though. It is okay. And I think, you know, based on what I know about your experience, like you came out initially to your parents in like sixth grade, right? I came out like so many different times. Yeah. So it's like you kind of knew like more like younger. Yeah, I knew I was like gay since I was like seven. I was like I am different.

Yeah. A hundred percent. And so I'm like, okay, maybe she needs more time. And that's again, totally fine. And I'm so with you. But like the bare minimum is to not let other people shit on me. Yeah. Or bully you.

Yeah. Like your girlfriend. Yeah. But also in the same breath, they're saying those things about you. Yeah. Because you are dating this person. Yeah. They just don't know.

And those are the people you want to be friends with? Yeah, it's not cool. No. I think she needs to feel confident in her decision. And also know that that person, that her ex-girlfriend is not, is maybe not a bad person. But she's going through stuff and she's not able to be a good partner or a friend to her. And like, I think that that's fair to acknowledge, you know? And like in my movie, Girls, like, girls like girls with Sonia, like her, she says hurtful things.

She's navigating something that she has never experienced before. And so Coley becomes the victim of her inexperience. But that also there's a fine line of being a bad person and just a person who's never experienced this before. And then be able to acknowledge that and take accountability for those actions and try to be better. Yeah. You know, like I think there's a fine line. I know. I'm like sitting with everything you said.

I'm like, there's just so much to unpack here. and totally fine where she's at, but like you're not there. Like, you're out. She's not the one. She's not the one. And maybe she'll get to a place where she loves herself. Because it's really, it comes down to self-love. You know, she, this girl doesn't love herself enough to therefore turn on the person that she does love because she turns on herself.

Yeah. And that's it. You know, it's a tough position to be in, especially like, depending on where you are. I mean, social pressure is, I grew up. up in Los Angeles, California. And people live in way less liberal areas than I do. And I still had such a hard time navigating my queerness because of what people would think, what people will say. It's like you're just raised to care about what people think of you. And it's really hard to break through that. You know, you have to put a lot of energy into that to get through. Well,

something you said in an interview that I watched too, you're like, because I think you were talking about like your wedding and planning and getting engaged and all these things. It's like, you didn't even like really think about marriage. Never thought I was going to. Yeah. Because until 2015, it wasn't even legal. And like, I remember being in college and being able to go and vote towards that. And it's just, it's crazy that like, even in today's times, like, that was 10 years ago, 11 years ago. It's just like, so there's a lot of change that needs to happen still. But you hope that that's, you hope that. she gets to a place where she can be comfortable being herself and not damage amazing relationships because of it. Yeah. And again, not to sound like a broken record, but it goes back to representation,

right? Like if she were to see herself reflected on screen or her experience reflected on screen, you know, she'd be like, oh, people support gay people. Like maybe I don't have to be so hard on myself and hard on the people that I love. Maybe I'm. Maybe I, I will be okay. It's a defense mechanism, right? Like when you're scared, when you're fearful, you aren't kind to yourself and to others. And it just is like a rebel effect. Absolutely. And 21 trying to fit in, trying to fly under the radar. Yeah. It's that crowd mentality. But again, like, this is your partner of seven years. And she's giving you so much grace and letting you sort things on your own timeline. So I think she did the right thing. I think so too. I think so too.

Top comment. I would not let anyone speak that way about my partner. I don't care how many friends I lose. Yeah, that's right. That's the energy. Yeah. Next comment down too says, I wouldn't let anyone rag on my bestie or my partner. There's a lot to unpack with that person. Like, even if that's your friend, you're going to, like, these are just some random dudes you became friends with this year in college versus your friend that you've been friends with for a decade. Yeah, but it's also like how can you have expectations that she's going to stand up for someone else when she can't even stand up for herself? Like if her, the bar is so low for herself, why would she do that for other people? And that's that's a lot of this world. O.P. does respond to the person that says, I wouldn't let anyone speak to my partner that way.

And she says, I've actually defended her behavior so much to my other friends saying, I just didn't want to put pressure on her and gave her time to come to terms with her sexual. Who knew a group of boys were enough for her to throw me away like that? Just like, we send you hugs. Yeah. Things are going to get better. I know. I think they will. And again, this is in the Too Hot Takes subreddit, so this is likely one of our listeners.

Hopefully they hear your thoughts on it and just makes them feel a little more reassured. And go see girls like girls with a bunch of strangers and know that there's a huge community out there that feel the way you feel. and have your back. And I think you should be proud of what you did. Like, I think she really chose herself in this moment. And I think that that's important to value yourself and hold the standard high. So we're proud of you. Absolutely. Yeah. This episode is brought to you by Skims. I'm off to Europe for a little hot girl summer and I want to look and feel my best. And that is where Skims comes in. Whether it's the cotton pieces, my shapewear, my body suits, I know I'm going to look good. And I'm going to look good. and feel my best, thanks to all of my skim's intimates. Let's talk about the cotton. I've got my scoop

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our show in the drop-down menu that follows. Thank you. Okay, this next one for us. This is coming from Am I the Asshole. It's titled, Am I the Asshole for Telling My Father We'll Catch the Next One when he invited me to his wedding? He's been married four times now, and this wedding will be his fifth in the span of 30 years. I don't know how he has such a high turnover rate, but I'm guessing it's to do with him being both rich and a raging narcissist. He invited me to get coffee and introduced me to his new fiancé. I knew he was going to do this because two of my brothers, there are seven of us total, none have the same mom, said that they had just gone coffee with dad and met the fiance. Then they were invited to the wedding, and both had been given a plus one for their girlfriends of eight and

ten months, respectively. Dad told me to bring my partner when I came for coffee and I brought my trans boyfriend along. We have been together for three years. The fiance seemed nice, wanting to know about me and my boyfriend, and asking questions that sounded like she actually gave a shit. Dad gets all the details of the engagement and wedding out of the way and then asks me, only me, if I'll be there. I noticed that he was talking to just me, not my boyfriend. So I say, we will check if we're free. Nice. Dad replies that, quote, this is family only. I reply, I just assumed, seeing as how the other siblings got a plus one. Dad says, that's different. Are you coming? I say, we'll catch the next one. Dad's fiancee becomes visibly upset and they leave.

text me after that, if I can be civil on the day, then I can still come alone. I felt like I had to stick up for my boyfriend because this was definitely due to him being transgender, and he thanked me at the time, but told me that I should probably still go. But after reporting back to my siblings to say what happened, I got mixed responses. The overall opinion was that while I absolutely should stick up for my boyfriend, this was some hill to die on, and I managed to catch the actually nice fiance in the crossfire and upset dad too. Info, I'm a woman. My boyfriend is trans, female to male.

Despite both of us being straight, dad thinks of us as lesbians due to my boyfriend's biology. One of me and my siblings, three were in the wedlock, and the other four, including me, were extramarital affairs. The fiancé knows she's number five, and dad gives the same story

about how he was tricked into marrying gold diggers by accident and didn't know until, it was too late and the affairs all happened as the relationships were breaking down. So, am I the asshole? No. No. No. No, no, no, no, no, honey, you were not the asshole. I am so proud. Yeah. It's so, I don't know why it's so hard, but it's so hard to communicate with parents that don't also know how to communicate. Yeah. And, like, we're just so why, or why are you? to please them. Good for her.

I'm so impressed. Even in that conversation of being like we will like talk about boundaries. Like we come as a unit or I don't come. It's not fair. I think if all the siblings weren't allowed to bring their partners. Yeah. Okay. But if all the siblings are allowed to bring their partners but she's not allowed to bring

her partner, then that's homophobic. and I think she has every right to use this as a boundary of like, hey, you have to accept me for who I am. Otherwise, like, I'm not showing up for your fifth wedding. No. That's also, like, the best response. We'll catch the next one. Oh, my gosh. Good for her.

Just clocked him. I mean, that takes a lot of therapy and, like, you know, unpacking. I know. get there. I wish I was that quick, too. Just like, we'll catch the next one. Oh my God. That was so cool. I need to take, I've been saying. Snaps. I was like, yeah. So I'm like, I want to take improv classes to get a little quicker. I'm like, I need to. Just in life. Just in life. I'm like, just having that, like, response like that because it is true. And there's, there's such a bigger picture here about does your dad support you? Is he even worth having in your life? Because by him saying, oh, yeah,

no, your boyfriend can't come only family. He's essentially not respecting your relationship, not respecting you. What does life look like? What happens if you and your boyfriend get married? Is he going to come to the wedding? Like what does that look like for your life? So if you're not, you know, setting those boundaries now and standing your ground now, I mean, at what point do you? Like, you give him an inch, he's going to take a mile. And it's just not worth it. And your part being like, you should go, I admire that. Like that, I can put myself in like those hurt shoes. And that's amazing.

They're saying that. But like, I think like you're making the right call. Yeah. And I also think there's probably a lot of history prior to this response to her dad. Like, you know, there probably were times where like it was like, you know what? I will make you happy or I will do this. I will sacrifice myself for X. But like, there comes a point where this is your life.

And like the people in your life that love you should value your decisions in life, the people that you love, they should respect you. And it shouldn't be conditional. And so many people, I think unfortunately it's extremely relatable to grow up in a household where love is conditional. Even when you don't even realize it. Those like hidden expectations. And if you don't meet them, then it's like, this is who you have to be. And it's like, well, you chose to have me. So why do I owe you anything?

And I don't think that that's like rude. I think there's a loving way to be like, hey, you should be proud of who I am. I speak up for myself. I respect myself. I love myself. And these are the things I want in life. And it's so scary for people to navigate that. It's because they're just cowards.

I mean, it's crazy. It's so nuts. And like to be this. open and honest with yourself and be able to set boundaries. It takes so much to get there. Oh my God. Like there's no mention of how old our writer is, but I'm like, I'm 32 and like I can still have a hard time setting boundaries with my mom.

And I'm like to do it in this scale. It was loving. It was respectful. It was, I mean, I'm very impressed with her. I know. I know. And the comments are too. You go, girl.

Comments are too. Top comment has 21,000. of votes. Not the asshole. You stood up for your boyfriend. As unfortunate as it is that the fiancé was caught in the crossfire. She didn't oppose her soon-to-be-husband's view. Nope.

So. Silence says a lot. Uh-huh. She easily could have taken that moment to be like, honey. No, no, no. Yeah. And then that would have changed to his mind. It's like people go, oh, my voice doesn't matter.

You're like one voice does matter. Absolutely. You could show someone, hey, actually we don't condone this behavior. Yeah. And we need to like rethink this. It could really shift the tide. Next top comment, not the asshole. I think it was best that you did this in the situation, especially with the way your dad is.

It's a shame that his fiance may have got her feelings hurt, but she'll have bigger problems to worry about in a few months when she's sorting through a divorce. I'm sorry that your dad can't be more accepting. Yeah. And unfortunately, that's the reality, like whether you're queer or like whatever your background is, like, It is, I think parental relationships are really challenging and really hard to navigate because you do want peace. But where does peace come if you don't have peace with yourself? And this person doesn't respect you or show love. They say they love you, but they don't show love.

And that's important. Yeah. Or there's like conditions to it. 100%. It's just like if there's all these conditions and strings attached, it's like that's not how it's supposed to be. No. Should just be unconditional. Yeah. Okay, I have one last one for you here. This one is coming from R slash actual lesbians. It's titled Pro-Cons list. I've been with my girlfriend for three years next week, and it's come to the point where I'm having to make pro and con list about her. Oh. I love her,

but some things are getting harder to ignore, and it's tearing me apart inside, trying to decide if I want to break up. I think the only thing keeping me around is my love for. for her, but can love always be enough? And then this person shares a picture of their pro and con list. The con list is very long. Have you guys not seen the Friends episode with Ross and Rachel? Oh my God. You don't make a pro and con list. No. Or if you do, you burn it. Along came Polly. I just rewatched that the other day. I haven't seen that in so long. Is there a pro and con list? He does that like risk analysis software. Oh, okay. And compares Polly, who's kind of this risky out there woman to his wife that cheated on him on their honeymoon and Polly finds it.

Oh, no. It was bad. It's not good. The pro list, okay? Okay. I love her. Funny. Helps when asked baseball.

Our kids. Financially stable. Pays attention to little things I say. Con. Not Facebook friends. Won't let. Sorry. I don't even know why Facebook friends was like.

I don't even. be on Facebook. I don't even know. I don't think that counts. Won't let me tag her in pictures. No handholding. No compliments. What? No cuddling. No. Can be rude. This sounds like a co-worker. Stone top. Vanilla sex. Haven't met the fam. Okay. This is not good. They should probably break up. Doesn't share feelings. Helps when asked but acts like it's inconvenient. Expects me to keep house and my car clean, but hers is a mess. Said she doesn't find me attractive anymore.

Expects me to tell her my every move but can't do the same in return. Acts like she doesn't care about things in my life. Have said I need affection, but I still don't get it. Pros cons. I think that it's not working out for them. No. I think if the pros list was longer. I think if they were, yeah, no, like you guys, it's literally like,

I think if the pro-lis was way longer and there was only like a handful of cons, I would suggest couples therapy and be like, you know what, give this person a chance you love them. Let them know, like, these are the things that are bothering. Then they might have some things that are also bothering them. Yeah. And like try to work through it. But it is so con forward that my suggestion, would be that maybe that person is not the person for them.

And that's okay. Like, I think you could love somebody and be like, no, thank you. No handholding, no compliments, no cuddling. This is, this is, yeah. What do you have? Yeah. Eye contact? Eye contact, that's it.

That's all I'm getting. Eye contact and maybe they share a meal every now and again. Yeah. It's, I think you deserve more. And it sounds like the other person is equally as unhappy if they're telling you, that they're not attracted to you. I'm sorry, but that's like, again, if that was the only con, that could be worked on through couples therapy and conversation.

Yeah. You know, sometimes things aren't perfect, but that is feeling. Yeah. It's pretty bad. I think it seems like to me that this person doesn't want to be with our writer anymore, but is just. And showing it through action. Yeah.

But they're not getting the hint. That. It's like, please break up with me. be horrible. I don't want to break up. They're being non-confrontational. Yeah. That's what I'm getting. Because otherwise it's like, if this is your whole relationship, I mean, there's not much there. Like, I can't imagine like not having good sex, not having that intimacy, but even just like the simple things. Like having your partner come home and like, I don't know, you made them a meal or you got your hair done. It's like, oh, he looks so good today. No, compliments. I appreciate you.

Really strict. I'm, I need a compliment. I need compliments. I need to feel the love. You look great, by the way. Thank you. Yeah. You did too. Did you do something different with your hair? No. Looks so good.

No. The top comment on this one, I'm not going to lie to you. With the first three cons, I fully thought you were joking. But continuing to read on, there is some pretty big double standards on your con list. Obviously, don't know them, but it seems like you give and they just take. Yeah. Someone responds, to be honest, no hand holding. is a deal breaker. Well, yeah. I mean, I'm not going to judge people who don't like handholding,

but if you're not going to do handholding, that they should get a lot of extra stuff. Yeah. I remember dating this person in college and I, like, went to hold their hand at a bar, and I literally got like swatted away. And I was like, who is around that you're trying to, like, not let them see? Like, what is going on? And I'm just like, I'm just getting bad vibes from this one. You should feel proud to have the person, you know, by your hand or, or, you know, you know in your hands yeah and like growing up unfortunately i was with a lot of people where i had to like hand hold under the table or like the quick pinky touch you know you'll see a lot of those and girls like girls but um but now i can openly just like hold hands yeah and that like finding

that love that genuine reciprocated love we need to raise the bar you guys like this is It's crazy. People who are dating men need to literally come together and raise the bar. It was rough. When I hear about my heterosexual friends experiences, I'm like, so you just want someone nice and that's the standard. I literally, this is crazy. Like being with a woman, like, it's like on another planet. So we need to raise the bar. I know. I, we got to raise the bar. I went through it. And I talked. talked about it in my vows where I was like, he is the first person to make me feel beautiful. And it's like, that is great. Oh, but it was just like, it took so long to find him.

But you have to want that for yourself. Yeah. And I think that's where it comes down to like what you believe you deserve. And like everyone listening to this, you guys deserve more than kindness. You deserve consideration, respect, love, laughter, all the things. It doesn't mean that there aren't going to be some like bumps in the road that you guys are going to have to work through. But like, let's raise the bar. Yeah.

And when you find someone that loves you and you feel it, there's nothing else like it. Like I remember initially dating him and I was like, is this what it feels when someone actually likes you? Wow. This is great. This is cool. Yeah. I know. And like when I met Becca, there was no, even though she hadn't dated women before, there was no kind of.

confusion. It just was like, we want to be together. How do we make this work? I was leaving for tour. We did like long distance for a while. And you just, you make it work, but you have two people who are equally putting in effort and energy. It's nice when you find that. When you find that, you go, oh. It clicks. Oh. It clicks. Yeah. Now is your time to shine, you guys. I mean, don't settle. Find your person. To not settle. Be yourself. All good things.

Yes. Haley, you did amazing. Thank you so much for coming on. Oh my gosh. I had a blast. Where can people find you? How can they watch your movie? Please go see Girls like Girls.

It's been a 10-year journey of me getting this movie made. It is my life's work. It's a movie I'm so proud of and I hope people feel seen and loved and supported. Go opening weekend with your community. It should be in almost every major city nationwide. And the two young leads, Maya de Kasa and Myra Miloy, are incredible. They're so good. Go get your popcorn.

Make your watch party plans. We don't get movies like this for Sapphics and coming of age very often in theaters. So your support would mean the absolute world. Absolutely. You guys, I'll make sure I link the movies page in the description. Go and watch. Okay. Thanks, you guys.

Guys. Thank you, Morgan. It's so fun. You ready? Yeah. And scene. Okay. How are you hanging over there? Oh, I'm good. It's been a minute. It hasn't been that long. I've been locking you up behind the Patreon. It's doors. It's true. Okay. I like it. It's fun. We've got Jenna coming in for a couple stories up first since you're a big sports fanatic. Yeah. Yeah, you like sports. Baseball. Baseball Dodgers. If we've got any Dodgers fan in the house, let us know. Yeah. Okay.

This one is coming from Am I the Asshole. It's titled, Am I the Asshole for pointing out that the football club my uncle supports is LGBT friendly? Okay. My 16 uncle became upset when my cousin, 18, came out as gay. He vented to me and my mom saying that my cousin must be confused and should try dating a girl first. My mom didn't say anything. At first, I didn't either. But then he saw it in my expression that I wanted to say something. So he asked me what it is. I just told him it's kind of ironic that he supports Bayern Munich, but doesn't like LGBT people. He got even more upset when I said that. My mom later told me I should not have said it since I knew his club's stance is a sore spot for him. Am I the asshole? Well, no. I just think it's weird that. he's associated with something that he doesn't support.

It's so dumb. Yeah. This was like a big thing when heated rivalry started blowing up and the NHL was like really starting to try to capitalize on it. And it's like, no, no, no, no, NHL, let's back it up. What did we get rid of Pride Night? Because some of your players didn't want to put rainbow colored tape on their sticks. They got rid of it.

I heard about the stick, like you weren't allowed to put. And then I know a player put tape on their stick. Yeah. A lot of teams got rid of it because players were, blah, blah, it's like you can't then, like, say, oh, we're not going to do this and support this group. And then because that group is popping off, then be like, oh, wait, wait, no, we're going to capitalize on this. Right. I mean, I think in all sports, there's going to be people who don't support. Like, I'm going to Dodgers Pride night.

I'm like, are the Dodgers excited for the gays to be there? Probably not. What? It's L.A. Well, I mean, he retired now, but like, last Pride Night you had, Clayton Kershaw, I don't know if you know who that. He's a pitcher. But, like, he's writing Bible verses on his hat during Pride Night and, like, non-support of us. A very pointed thing to do.

So it's like you're always going to have players that don't support it. I mean, there's so many in, especially men's sports. It's just like everyone's a little, I don't know. It's so weird. Yeah. Just let people do their thing. I love that. I think it's Charles Barkley came out recently and was doing an interview and he's like,

you don't think there's more gay players on these teams? Statistically, there has to be. You would think. And then, I don't know. People are doing gay stuff and men are doing gay stuff in sports all the time. We talked about the baseball celebration video. We'll insert a clip for you guys here. I think, like, bottom line, he's going to have to do some big mental shifts because his child is

gay. Yeah. And so you pointing it out that it's ironic. No, not the asshole. Like, he needs to sort through whatever small-minded bullshit is in his head. And if you pointing that out is one way to kind of get him on board and start doing it, then whatever. Top comment on this one. Not the asshole. Has your uncle tried dating a man first? Oh, shit. Got him. Next comment. Exactly. How do you know you're heterosexual if you haven't tried a same-sex relationship. That's a good argument. I really do like it. How do you know for sure?

Well, it's hard because you're told, like from the beginning you're told that you're straight and you just have to figure out that you're not straight. This is a rabbit hole I want to go down on like society and how we got to this strict, like, it's a rabbit hole I'm going to go down. If you know or have good resources to point me in my rabbit hole direction, Please let me know. Michaela's sitting off camera and I know she knows. She has a resource.

This is just a Michaela tidbit that she would absolutely know. History is crazy. Humans have been around for so long, so long. Yeah. And yet we're just a blip. And it's like, why are we making our blip so brutal? It's just weird how we went from that timeline to this timeline. I wish the dinosaurs were still around.

Honestly. I wish the dinosaurs. are still here. Sure. Can the dinosaurs come back? I don't know if that's going to help support LGBTQ rights. I don't know how it depends on if they take over, you know, go Jurassic Park on the White House. Oh, I'd love to ride one.

Dude, saber-tooth tigers, so cute, a woolly mammoth. Adorable. Yeah. I'd like to fly on one of those. You know what I'm talking about. God, what is that flying one? What's the flying dinosaur called? It starts with a T, I think.

Petrosaur? No. Oh, I had it. Teradactal. Yep. Yeah. It did start with a T. It's not on here, but it came to my brain.

Yeah. I'd like to ride one. Okay, cool. Okay, this next story. This is going to be a bit of a moral dilemma one. I'm very curious what you all have to say in the comments, okay? This is coming from Am I the Asshole, titled, Am I the Asshole for telling my niece to stay in the closet until she gets her inheritance? Hmm.

My 42 male, niece, 17 female, recently confided in me that she's a lesbian. I supported her, let her know I would be there, etc. Usual ally stuff. However, she told me she was going to come out to the whole world this week. I let her know she should absolutely wait for her grandma. parents, my parents, to pass. My father is incredibly wealthy and has tens of millions of dollars in assets that he will be passing down once he is gone. My father is a raging homophobe who has flat outstated any gay individual in our family would be written out of the will. And to make sure

the rest of us don't just split more money with said gay relative, they will instead have that portion of the inheritance, put aside for that family member, donated to a child. charitable cause. That money will be erased from the inheritance. Since both my father and mother are in incredibly poor health, stage four cancer and debilitating dementia, I told my niece that she should stay in the closet for a while longer. If she comes out as lesbian and they find out, she will quite literally lose out on $7 million. She was a little sad, but was also appreciative since that is obviously a life-changing amount of money that will allow her to live luxuriously until she dies. My wife, however, said that I'm being an asshole. I'm telling this poor girl to hide who she is

just to appease old bigots. That is true. I am asking her to appease old bigots, but I feel like her life quality will be much better with $7 million at the cost of one to two years in the closet tops. I've also seen my father's will, and I know who is getting what, so my niece is definitely going to receive $7 million as long as my father doesn't rewrite or edit his will. Am I the asshole for telling my niece to stay in the closet so she can be a millionaire? I mean, I would stay in the closet to be a millionaire. Seven million dollars is fucking crazy. If they weren't in like such poor health, I mean, I'm like, I'm trying to think of how long I'd be willing to stay in the closet for it. Yeah. If they're in that poor of health, eh, just stay in a little bit longer. Well, I think

two, there's something to be said, like, kind of thinking about Haley and Becca and their relationship where they were private, not secret. Well, I was about to say, like, how are they going to find out also? Yeah. Like, what are you doing? You're announcing it to the world, whatever that means. Yeah. You're just posting it on social media.

I guess it depends if it's going to get back to them via, like, family members. Like, are family members going to go and report back so she doesn't get the money? Yeah. I guess, like, who else would be on her side or who is a potential? threat. Right. And then in that case, it's like if they're going to go relay that message to them to an unsafe person. Yeah. Maybe it's not safe for her to come out right now in the first place. That's a good point. I also just, I wonder, you know, what would life look like differently? Like, is she not going to be able to go to the movies with her girlfriend? Like, what would it really

look like? Because I do think there's a world where it's just like, just live your life. Yeah, I feel like your grandpa's not going to be out at the club. No. It sounds like they're in the hospital. sign. I don't know. Sure. I don't know. I'd say just start coming out to people that you know is safe. Yeah. And, you know, maybe don't announce it on social media right now. That's what it kind of sounds like. Yeah. She's telling her to do is just like maybe keep it between the people you know and trust. Yeah. And I don't think you need to do a whole announcement, especially if $7 million is on the line. Seven million. And then, yeah. Let's just say it's a year.

That seems long. It seems like it's not even going to take a year. I like, I tried to put myself in this shoes and like, okay, like shut off, like a part of yourself and turn down love. I would probably be celibate for 10 years for 7 million. Yeah. Also, it's tough out there. You don't need to. It's okay.

It's tough out there? Yeah. Dating's hard. Just like take the money. The top comment on this one. Oh, God. I'm torn. This is honestly an excellent case study for an ethics class. My gut instinct is to say that you should never encourage someone to stay in the closet longer than they want to, but yeesh,

that's a life-changing amount of money. No assholes here besides your parents for being raging homophobes. I agree. I think at the end of the day, our writer here is just trying to protect his niece. I know the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but this really does feel like it's coming from a good place of just like, hey, maybe reconsider. You have seven million on the line and maybe she didn't even know that. Like she's 17. She probably didn't. She probably had, I would have no idea. How would you know? You've never seen as well. Right. And then so in your head where you're like, okay, I'm going to come out. It's going to be this great thing, which it is and that's so exciting for you. But now you have this other piece of info that it's like, okay, well, you know, you could potentially lose out on seven million because

this guy's a crazy homophobic, spiteful asshole. Right. And it's like, okay, yeah, I'd go to charity, but like... Yeah, but I don't think they're picking the charity. It's going to go to a homophobic charity. That's also very true. That's very true. Like, oh, you're a lesbian? Given that $7 million to a church.

A mega church that has those people that go in the rafters and sing. Yeah. Have you seen those megachurch beds? I'm scared. I don't look at churches. You know, some of those mega churches. I'm scared of them. They're crazy.

There's another comment here, not the asshole. Seven million changes anyone's life and it's not like she'll have to hide it forever. Info, are you and your wife the only ones who know? O.P. responds, yes, my wife, myself, and my niece. My father trusts me immensely and is willing to discuss these matters with me. My mother knows as well, but her dementia is so bad that it doesn't matter. Then like, I don't know. In my mind, like, you have come out. You've already started telling people you are in the process of coming out. I feel like you just, yeah, you just keep telling the people that are closest to you. Like when you say you're telling the world, is that that just a social media announcement to me. Yeah. I would say social media. I don't think a 17 year old would rent one of those planes with a billboard behind it. Yeah. Or a banner. I'm gay. Yeah. I don't think that's happening. So in my mind, I feel like they're not even, it's really not even telling you to not to come.

out, it just don't tell your grandparents. I am so curious what everyone thinks. Yeah. Regardless, I would still, if I couldn't tell anybody, I'd still do it for $7 million. I mean, $7 million is like, I can't even fathom that. Like, it's just so much. And there is another comment here where someone says, not the asshole, you're just advising her, not forcing her, she still gets to choose.

It's true. So that's a really good point. I think O.P. is great. Big fan. Ally. Allie. There are quite a few comments from O.P. I basically told her, I know it sucks, but I'm sure you would regret not getting that inheritance. You should take the money.

Maybe I should have just laid out the facts for her and said, I'll support your decision regardless. But I thought you should know the situation. She wants to travel the world so badly. I told her that when we can get the inheritance, I'll quit my job and travel the world with her as well, my wife included. We're all so close. So it would be a whole lot of fun. I'm reminding her how much more easily this globe-trutting goal will be with the inheritance. And think of all the ladies she can get with $7 million.

No, she doesn't want, she wants to find love and someone with good intentions. Oh, okay. She doesn't want to be sugar mama. Maybe. You know, she could. She could. She would have that option at least. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. O.P. says, I guess I don't see what. what's wrong with deceiving homophobes in a situation like this. He's going to be dead and he's making a very poor decision. I don't see how it will hurt him. I take his money. I mean, do you look a gift horse in the mouth? Huh? Yeah. I don't know. Okay. Opie says, for those saying you're the asshole because deceiving my dad is wrong, if you were in my niece's position, can you honestly say that you would

give up $7 million because deceiving a homophobic grandpa is wrong? Can you genuinely say that you wouldn't keep your beliefs hidden for a year for the sake of a comfortable life? I highly doubt any of you could practice what you preach in the same situation, especially if you have debt and other life difficulties. Just kind of live your life. Do you? Private, not secret.

Exactly. And, you know, grandpa's going to be gone soon by the sounds of it. Grandpa's never going to know. I think she'll be just. Just fine. No. But again, put your thoughts in the comments, y'all. As the top comment said, crazy moral dilemma.

I'm not torn, but. Jana, you basically are just like singing that song from Jerry McGuire. Show me the money. That's you right now. Right. Okay. Thank you for your poppin. Yeah, anytime.

One, two, three. God, my hair grew. Look who it is. Yay. Woo! Let's go. I'm ready. Okay.

I've got one for you coming from our very own Too Hot Takes subreddit. I love it when that happens. If you can't recognize who's hopping in, it's Michaela. Oh, so true. Yeah. Hello. Whoa. Hello gay people.

This one is titled, Best Friend of 15 Years tells me she can't attend my wedding. I need to vent for a second. I'm getting married next April to the love of my life, and I couldn't be more excited. I asked my three best friends to be my bridesmaids, longest friend, college roommate, post-college roommate. My longest friend, since we were around 11 years old, lives in another state, so I mailed her invitation to her as a surprise.

She sent me this text last night, letting me know that she doesn't support the fact that I'm marrying a woman and will not be in attendance in my wedding. What the fuck? I'm incredibly hurt by this on multiple levels. This love the sinner, hate the sin mindset is extremely hurtful and does not constitute unconditional love. These are the same beliefs my dad and stepmom have had since I came out, and it's already been painful enough to deal with their judgment.

I didn't realize one of my closest, most trusted people secretly felt that same way, even after having met my partner and knowing I was gay for over three years. and after I confided in her about my parents' reaction to me being gay. I feel lied to and honestly have felt sick to my stomach since reading this. I've already responded to let her know how hurtful this is and that I appreciate her being honest and telling me now, but that our friendship will not be able to continue if this is what she believes, and I wished her the best.

I'm trying to focus on the fact that I'm glad she told me so that I don't have to keep people like this in my life. but I feel incredibly blindsided and betrayed. Thanks all for letting me vent. And then O.P. does include pictures of the screenshots. Whoa, wait, I want to hear. So this text message says, Hi, Blank. I've had a really hard time trying to decide if I can be a part of your wedding day. I don't want to hurt you. I should have been honest with you from the get-go and expressed my thoughts to you when you first came out to me about being gay. I've never once judged you for it or loved you less. I just do not want to support you marrying another woman.

I should have told you that a long time ago, but I didn't because I was worried it would affect our relationship. I've been walking the fence with God for a long time, but this past year my relationship with him has grown more and more. Because of that, I can't with good conscious support a same-sex marriage when it goes completely against my beliefs. I've prayed a lot about it and tried justifying it, but I can't attend your wedding. What the hell?

Me going would show other Christians that I support. it, and I can't be a stumbling block for others, my children, or even myself. I love you and I care for you and your salvation. I pray that this won't ruin our friendship. I understand if you're upset with me in any way. I'm absolutely heartbroken that I can't be there for your special day like you were for mine. Please know this was an extremely hard decision for me. I just want you to know I love you no matter what. I would have much rather have done this in person, but I just got the package Thursday and I owed you an answer. If you want to get together and talk more about it we can. I will come to you. I'm so sorry. Yeah, I mean, having a homophobic friend is not the craziest

thing to happen in the world, but I feel what's so different about this story is that it took so long to even realize that she felt that way. Like, I can't imagine, you know, having been out to someone for three years, like you've talked about your relationship with them. Finally, one day you invite them to your wedding and all of a sudden you discover that they don't support you and aren't okay with it and think it's a sin? Like that just feels so blindsiding. I'm just like, why? Like, why? And I just like, I'm so glad you found this out now before you were wedding planning down the road. And, you know, this is so shitty losing a friend that you've been friends with for 15 years since you were 11. Like, That is a huge part of your life.

But on the bright side, you are being your most true, authentic, happy self. You are about to marry your person, the love of your life. And anyone that's not going to support you and your love, good riddins. Get out of here. Yeah, it's just so crazy. I mean, it's, I guess, a good thing that this friend hasn't been actively trying to get her to not be gay all this time or, like, been trying to convert her or been. like putting her down about it forever. I'm kind of confused about why the wedding is where she draws the line.

Like, why is that all the sudden not okay and everything else was never a problem? But I wonder if that, like, one of the last statements in one of the last texts you read as part of it of like other Christians seeing it and like publicly being a part of a gay event as opposed to just like, you know, kind of more quietly having a friend who is gay. That quiet support versus no, I'm in wedding photos. Yeah. I'm standing up at the altar supporting them. Yeah, like the messaging and the message she would be sending. Yeah. Would be very loud.

Which is different than like a personal, I'm not okay with this thing. That's more of like that you're worried about your public image amongst the Christian community, I guess. The thing is like religion should not be weaponized. It can't be such a beautiful thing. and just let people live their life. Like, there's no... I mean, I'm not going to go down the theology side of it.

There's people out there, though, that explain the translation and how different translations have made people interpret things in a certain way. But at the bottom line, at the end of the day, this was your friend.

Yeah. Like, I'm never going to be able to mental gymnastics myself and even have any empathy for this friend that's doing this because I don't understand how you just can't love people and let them love who they want to love and be supportive. Yeah. Actually, back to the

the gayness in Greece and Rome thing you were talking about right here. You're talking about, like, people having different translations and stuff. It's funny because the line about you should never lie with a man as a woman does, like some people think that that just means if you're on bottom instead of like being a man and a man, it means like being the one. What? Yeah. Because that That is like kind of what they believed at the time. It's so powerful. It made me sneeze. Like it's okay to have sex with a man as long as you're the one penetrating is kind of how they felt.

Like it doesn't affect your masculinity unless you're the one who's like the woman. You learn something new every day. That's one interpretation by some archaeologists. It's so funny. That's so crazy. Oh my God. But it's hard to know. So women didn't go on top in ancient Greece?

I'm sure they did. I mean, come on. There's quite a few comments on this one. Top comment. She already ended the friendship. Congrats on your wedding. May you live long and prosper. Next comment, that's not a friend.

Don't give her another thought. Don't reply. Put your energy towards your wedding with people who don't judge how others love one another. And be grateful that she won't be in the photos. Best to find out now than Photoshop later. Yeah, that is true. And it sounds like she gave her a decent heads up about it. But I don't know. I'm like, does she have a new pastor? Is there a new group at church that she's become friends with that's like a little bit more like conservative about homosexuality? Because it sounds like she was saying I've been walking the line with my faith until the last year and now. I don't know. I don't know. It's very confusing. And a lot of people do point out what blows my mind is the, but I still love you. Like rejecting a huge part of their identity is no biggie. Love is accepting something.

for who they are, not just the parts your imaginary friends, gatekeepers, told you you're allowed to accept. Yeah. I hope you find salvation. I pray for your salvation. If someone said that to me, I'd be pissed as fuck. Bitch, I'm saved. I'm great.

Someone points this out. It's fucked up that many Christians have decided that homosexuality is the main thing they have a problem with. They legit have a list of the top 10 sins, and homosexuality is definitely not on there. We went into this yesterday. Do you remember? I was like, I know you bitches are experiencing coveting. I know you bitches are lustful.

I know you're greedy. I don't even know the Ten Commandments. Is that what, is those are the, is coveting on there? Yes. Yes. That's what that is? Yes. Yes. Being gluttonous is one of them.

Sloth. Sloth is one of them. Sloth? I know you bitches are slothing. And you're worried about gay? What is slothing? Like being lazy. What?

This feels fake. Do you want to read the ten? Well, I'm trying to find them, but like, there's a lot of... Just 10 deadly sins. Fake versions. Thou shall not covet 10. Yeah, there you go. That's what I'm saying.

And I know we're coveting. You're on TikTok shop. You are coveting. Thou shalt not bear false witness. Thou shall not commit adultery. There's a lot of other ones way before. Yeah, that's a very good point that that person makes. Although all the sins are equal, apparently.

Are they, though? Yeah, which always like flew my mind as a child. A fair versus killing. Yes. Are they though? Murder and lying are like, it's all equal. I don't believe that. That's what I was told.

I don't, I don't. And I always thought to myself, I don't co-sign that. Okay. O.P., congratulations on your wedding. One of our very listeners, I would love to see pictures. Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. That's so exciting. Oh, wait, congratulations.

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. This is your, you're going through this. This is your. going to have the most amazing magical day and the people that are meant to be there are going to show up for you and make it so special and that is what it's about. Like this is a great time to weed out people that aren't real ones. They're not right or dies. Like I, I really did hold my wedding as a standard of like, are you going to show up for me and the way I show up for you? And if not, bye. She probably would have brought weird energy. There would have been like a weird aura around her.

This is weird. I would love to see pictures of your wedding. Yes. So please send them to me. This next one is coming from Am I the Asshole, titled, Am I the Asshole for getting my child's teacher fired after she called my marriage fake? I, 30 female, have been married to my wife, 31 female, for seven years. And five years ago, we had a daughter, who I'll call Gracie through IVF. We are both religious and part of an LGBT affirming sect. We think it's important to our daughter to have a religious education. Our local place of worship doesn't have a kindergarten,

so Gracie is at a school by a different church that is more conservative, but we were told our marriage would not be an issue and that other same-sex couples had kids enrolled. My daughter's teacher, who will call Mrs. B, seemed nice enough. We chatted when I volunteered and Gracie enjoyed her class. Early last week, the kids were told to do a family tree. My wife and I helped Gracie, and she turned it in with me labeled as Mama and my wife as mom. After the family tree presentations, I got a call from Mrs. B saying my daughter acted out in class

and needed a parent-teacher meeting to discuss her behavior. When I get my daughter that day at pickup, she's sobbing. Gracie tells me, when she presented, Mrs. B asked if the two moms were a mistake. But when my daughter said she has two moms, Mrs. B told my daughter that it isn't a real marriage and that it's never too late for me to enter a proper marriage with one man and one woman. Gracie starts crying, saying we are a real family. Mrs. B snapped at my daughter and told her to sit down and shut up. She gave her a zero and did not discipline some kids who were then mocking her.

I immediately called my wife who left work early. When we got home, my wife and I explained how not everyone is accepting, but that we are a real family. Our God loves us very much and how brave she was for standing up for herself. The next day, my wife called off work and we took Gracie to my grandmother's. We went to the principal's office and we were seeing ASAP. The principal was deeply apologetic that one, Gracie had been told that by Mrs. B., and two, she didn't intervene when she was bullied.

He affirmed the school's commitment to a safe environment for all families, regardless of opinions on same-sex marriage. He said to bring Gracie in the next day because this would be taken care of. The next day I took Gracie to class and Mrs. B was gone, replaced by a sub. The principal informed my wife and I that Mrs. B was fired. However, word got around the school quick, while some parents were supportive, others told us we should be ashamed of ourselves, and we ruined Mrs. B's life by demanding she be fired. We didn't ask her to be fired, just that it was dealt with, and that we could

have talked to Mrs. B. first, or asked to go to the other kindergarten class. A few are even saying Mrs. B is right, and our family doesn't belong at this school, and we need to transfer so their children don't think this sinful union is okay. Obviously, I don't think my marriage is wrong, but should I have talked to Mrs. B first or just asked to transfer classes? Am I the asshole for getting my child's teacher fired after she called my marriage fake? No, O.P., you did not do anything wrong. I think what sucks about this is that you did everything right, but then still now you're left in a situation where everyone at school is blaming you and talking about you and your child and saying how, like, this sucks for this. them because this gay couple has ruined our kids' classroom. And it's like there was nothing

you could do in that situation just because you're yourselves for things to go in a way that didn't harm you and your child. And that really sucks. Also, Mrs. B's life isn't ruined. She can get a job in Florida. Sorry to Florida. She can get a job in Florida. I'm sure. They love that shit. I mean, she'll find another job. Teachers are very in demand right. now, I know there's a shortage of teachers. I think regardless of what you believe in, to yell at a five-year-old in your kindergarten class and tell them to shut up, this child is five. They literally just learned how to talk. I know, like, I'm being hyperbolic here, but you know what I mean? Like, yeah. This is a little baby is like coming to you and making this family tree and you're like,

actually, Gracie, you're fucking dumb. Shut up. Your parents' marriage isn't real. Get the fuck out. Like, I know she didn't say that aggressively, but that's what you're basically implying and how you're treating this five-year-old child. If you are in positions of teacher, counselor, a position of power in regards to children, regardless of what your beliefs are, you need to set them aside in order to treat them with respect.

And, like, if you can't do that, you shouldn't be that. that position. Yeah, have some self-control. And also, like, to what end? To what end is saying this going to do something? Like, saying this to a five-year-old, what's that going to do? Like, what's the five-year-old going to do about it? Like, there's not even, like, a scenario in which this leads to something that could make you happy if this is your belief, like, except feel crappy. That's a really good point. That other people don't believe in. And I think what also is sad about this is that like it just shows that this is a conversation that like at some point gay couples have to have with their children of like by the way there are people out there who are going to say bad

things about your mom and I or your dad like there are people who are going to judge you and like look down on you because of this and say you're going to hell and X Y Z all the and like that's a conversation that has to happen with every gay couple of kids and that's so sad I know that's so sad that that could be a reality for a lot of kids out there or like you can't have sleepovers if parents are into that because of people being weird or homophobic. And it's like, it's very frustrating. Like I, again, like, I just don't understand why people and all over. Like, this episode might not be able to be played in certain countries. Like, that is the reality of certain places in the world. And it's like, it's like, it's.

It's so fucking gross. Yeah. And things have been getting worse. I know. I know. And that's like we need to have these stories get out there because like it could change people's minds. And like it could cause a shift and people could see the air of their ways. And like I hope there is more progress.

And there has been progress. If you look back, you know, you look at the 80s and. all the discrimination and like all these big things. And it's like we have had some progress. 2015. Same sex marriage became legal. Like there's been progress, but it's like, okay. Not really the last couple years, though. I would say you've gone backwards for sure the last few years. But everything has gone backwards the last few years. Like it's just not, it's not good. But definitely not the asshole. You are entitled to your faith and your child's child. have a safe place to learn. Yeah. This is not a safe place. And honestly, good on the principal for

acting so swiftly. And any of those other families, if they're uncomfortable, they can get the fuck out of there too. And I can't imagine, like, being a teacher and having this five-year-old child in your class and not just being like, you know what, I want to protect them. I don't want to hurt this child. I don't want to make them sad or feel bad about their family. No. I just, I mean, It's one thing to harass people kind of separate on the internet, these people you don't know, or like, harass the concept of gay people, like be this separate entity that's judging it from afar, but to, like, actually know this five-year-old child

and to be so venomous that you want to make them feel bad, that's crazy to me. A five-year-old. Top comment, not the asshole. Your child was emotionally harmed, and the teacher was clearly hostile. and discriminatory towards your family. You didn't get her fired personally.

You reported a serious issue to protect your child, and the school made the decision. Talking to Mrs. B. first might not have changed anything and could have caused more stress for Gracie. Your priority was your child's safety and well-being, and you handled it responsibly. Yeah. And that's true.

Like, going to the teacher first could cause retaliatory methods, It's like Gracie's separated in class or ignored in class. Like it could make it worse versus, hey, this was inappropriate. We're going to who should know about this situation. Right. And again, if you're just the person who has communicated what somebody else did and that gets them fired or punished in whatever way, that does not make you responsible. It is still the responsibility of the person who did the thing that could get them fired, you know? And I feel like that's in a lot of situations, victims of things feel like it's their fault when someone who actually did the thing gets punished for it.

Yeah. A lot of people are like not the asshole. There's probably something else going on here where like this isn't her first warning for it to go to zero to 100. Like there's probably other situations that have happened with Mrs. B. And this was just another strike. Either that or when the principal talked to her, she exploded and went back down. So regardless. Like she probably was given more chances or handled the situation very inappropriately. And it was determined that she can no longer work here. She's ineffective. Yeah. Well, that makes sense because they told this couple it won't be a problem at our school. So like this has to be conversations that were happening internally already. Crazy.

We don't have an update from OP yet. It's three months old at this time. Oh, wow. So maybe someday. Damn. I hope that everyone at their school gets a little nicer. I wonder if they stayed there or switched. I don't.

It sucks. I know. And then it's also sad because then it's disillusioning gay people from religion. And it's like wouldn't you want to like welcome everybody and accept them and make them feel comfortable? Numbers are going down. That's the kind of thing that's going to make people not want to be a part of the church. I know. You got to be inclusive.

Numbers are going down. Need all the little boost you can get. Inclusivity might be one way to do it. Just a thought. This next one is coming from R-slash, am I overreacting? titled, Am I Overreacting that my boyfriend doesn't want me to identify as bye anymore?

Forgive me, this is my first ever post, and I'm not sure how good it will be, L-O-L. So my female-24, boyfriend, male 26, and I have been together for almost two years now and have been living together for about a year. Overall, our relationship is amazing. He takes such great care of me and all of our pets. Anyways, I don't know how this came up,

but two nights ago, it came up that I identify as bisexual. I thought he had already known that, because it's not something I really hide. Needless to say, it caught him by surprise, because now he's saying that he can't trust me alone with any of my friends because, quote, I'm choosing to identify as that. And he believes it means basically that I'm always attracted to everyone around me, essentially.

I don't know. We started arguing, and it just went nowhere. He identifies as a straight male, and he's never been too exposed to LGBT plus community. So I understand why things like sexuality can be confusing for him. But I'm pretty much the exact opposite, where I've had many out and open family members and friends who all, identify in many different ways. So basically, yeah, he told me that he doesn't like that I identify as bisexual and that if I'm truly committed to our relationship, which is a straight relationship,

that I should be identifying as straight. If I keep identifying as bi, that must mean I'm trying to attract ladies. I know I could have just said, yeah, okay, you're right, I'm straight now, but it just feels like I'm having to shamefully hide a part of me, question, I've just never been in a situation like this before, and I don't want to make him feel that kind of insecurity. I just kind of sort of feel lost right now, and I'm torn between a part of who I am and my relationship. Anyways, if you read all of this, thank you, and any advice is welcome. He sucks, first of all. Yeah. But that's also, like, the most classic biphobia in the books, just like assuming you want everybody. I also just feel like for all gay people,

not just by people, it's like as soon as my certain like female friends know that I'm also into women, they like think I want them. And it's like I don't think I don't want you, you know? It's just like not like even if you look at, okay, cis straight like not every guy wants you. Why would you think? Yeah. Why would you think a bi woman is automatically going to be into you just because you're a woman? Yeah. It's like a weirdly strong sense that people have of like, oh, now that I know that you're into girls. It's like, I better watch out. I better watch. I better watch. That's so weird. You're Mark safe. You are Mark safe. That's so weird. It's not happening. But yeah, I know. I was just telling you, I which I can't believe you didn't know this. I haven't had sex in five years with any,

with anybody. So like this idea. I feel like I should get you a trophy. Thank you. Thank you. Like that feels like such an accomplishment. The first year that I did it, I got myself a cake. That said happy virgin anniversary. What are you doing for this one? Have you hit five years? I'm past, yeah, I'm past five years. So when is six? I don't know. It's like February. Sometime February.

I missed it. Five is a big one. Well, at a certain point you stop celebrating. Well, I think honestly seven years should be the big one because as you said, seven years. All of your cells have regenerated and then you can be a virgin again. But okay. Are you trying to get there now? Sorry, I'm like so fascinated by this.

It'd be so funny, but I'm also not like, if love, if love finds me, it's a no. because I got to regenerate myself. I'm like, not. It's not. But the point that I was trying to make is that like I am bisexual, but I'm clearly not like, oh my God, I want everybody. I'm so into everybody. I need to have them all.

So this idea of like because you can be interested in any gender doesn't mean that you want everybody. You can still be in a committed relationship and only want the person that you're with. It works the same way as it does with everybody else. I know. It's such a weird mentality too because it's like, okay, you're worried about your partner being by because they could be potentially attracted to women, but what about other guys?

Yeah. Well, how many, is it 8 billion people in the world? Yeah. So it's like before you were worried about 4.5 billion people. Like, I mean, once you're at 4.5 billion people, can I really get any bigger than that? I'm right? I can't comprehend. I mean, after like 8 million, I'm like, what it?

I don't know. It's just like. Yeah, like 8 billion, 4.5 billion. The million versus billion when they do it in piles of rice really freaks me out. It's insane. Like that's, I'm just like, I can't compute. Like, and again, like, I really, I'm like, when you start seeing those piles of rice, a million versus a billion, you're like, a billion shouldn't exist.

And a trillion certainly shouldn't exist. Yeah, people got to start dying. Or, like, taxes. I mean, just taxes would be all so okay than death. Okay. Protect queer art. But yeah, no, this is a weird logic. And for him being like, well, you should just identify a straight now because you're with me.

It's like, he's not respecting you. And as O.P said, like, you shouldn't have to be torn between a part of who you are and your relationship. Your relationship should respect who you are. Yeah, absolutely. It's also like... Otherwise, you're with the wrong person! Yeah, sexuality doesn't equate to availability. I don't know.

It's just it's a totally. different, like we'll talk about the difference between sexuality and gender. Like, there's also a difference between sexuality and, in a relationship, or single. Top comment, I don't understand. It's not like you're attracted to all men or women. It's not like you have to screw everything you're attracted to. I think it's kind of strange. He can't comprehend that. Yeah, but it's common, so, not that shocked. It's so weird. There's a comment that does respond to that. that's a harmful buy stereotype that people that are by are all basically like super promiscuous. And that's not the case.

I also think like some can be though. Hey, if you're out there, woo. Yeah, maybe message Michaela because she might need a little inspo apparently. I do think there's something though to be said about that with him to. There's an aspect of bi ratio here where it's like, oh, well, we're with me. You're not by. Yeah. And so I think that's important to keep in mind like, no, just because.

you're with a guy, like, you can still be by. Mm-hmm. So. That's a big discourse on Pride Month. Big. By girls with girlfriends. We don't have to get into that. I mean, do you want to?

No. I've seen a lot of posts about it. I have seen a lot of posts about it. Especially, like, can I bring my boyfriend to pride if I'm by? Does he need to be there? Is that his space? I mean, it's fine, but does he, like, I don't know. It's a debate.

It's like, does he need to be, I don't know. A lot of people said no. A lot of people said that's not his space. And the boyfriend didn't really want to go in one of the stories. So it's like, well, then again. There are some things that, like, I just don't really have a strong opinion on, you know? But if, yeah, if I saw some, like, boyfriends at pride, just kind of trailing behind, bringing the vibe down. I don't know.

Bringing the vibe down. All right, here's this guy. Here's this fucking guy. Yeah, I mean, if he's bringing the vibe down, he definitely shouldn't be there. But if everyone's friends with him, he's like integrated into the group, I don't know. I mean, is he an ally or not? Well, he would hope so. I mean, if he's with you, a by person, like, you...

Oh, we're talking about me? No, no. Like, the writer! Yeah. It's been a day. Sorry, guys. No, but, no, but like if he's with this bi person, he should at least be an ally. be with an ally

Like Totally Totally Yeah this guy is really like He's got to compute some stuff You know everyone's calling him Names in the comments Right

They call him an insecure weirdo Well I also feel bad Because I feel like O.P is sort of Letting him Dictated a little bit more than she should be She was like oh I could have just told him I'm straight I'm like no

Why are you even Why is that even a thing that you're Putting in there? You shouldn't have to compromise on who you are to keep someone. Yeah. If you have to lie about who you are, hide parts of who you are to have someone like you or love you or want to be in a relationship with you, that is not the right person.

He can't come to pride. No, he's absolutely not coming to pride. OP is very active on Reddit in Yellow Jackets, hive subreddits, in Am I Over. Reacting subreddits, Netflix subreddits. I mean, they're verified two-year club. So this is giving real post. Did they respond to any comments? They did respond to some. Just, you know, thanking people for genuine and thoughtful responses. They do say a lot of people are skipping over the fact that we come from two totally different households. And yes, there's plenty of informational media out there, but really it's not the same as having real life experiences. And I believe it is just a

to realize that for him. He is very open to learning and understanding about the LGBT plus community, and I think we'll revisit this topic after letting our brains marinate on it for a while. L.O.L. Thank you. Okay. Marinate. Marry. Okay.

Okay. Marinate on that bisexuality. Marinate. Yeah. Thank you for not jumping to the straight. He's a horrible monster conclusion like everyone else. I think you're right. It definitely is ignorance over malice, and it's just another thing that we both have to be prepared for.

and ready to talk about. I would say, sure. I mean, you've been together for two years, and if he's just now learning your buy, like I can understand why he's like, well, wait, like, why didn't you tell me? That's, you know, part of you that I'd like to know and appreciate, whatever.

But if he continues to be like, you're straight, you're with me, you're straight. You're not by anymore. You're straight. Then you're going to have a problem. Yeah. That's not a problem of like, oh, he needs to marinate on it.

That's just a problem. In like a sort of distant, far-off way, I could understand this being a thing people experience. But if I try to like ever consider being in this situation at this point in my life and having a guy talk like that or respond that way, I can't imagine it. Like that would be so crazy to me. I'd be like, no. If someone said that to you, would you stay with them? No. Even if you were together for five years?

Well, I wouldn't. You wouldn't get there. I would never be in that situation. Yeah. You wouldn't get there. Find people who are going to match you in compassion, empathy, effort, love, respect. Regardless of who it is, find someone who's meeting you on your level. No one deserves to settle.

Like point blank, mic drop. Don't settle. Raise the bar. Raise the bar. Raise the bar. And bygirls are promiscuous. That is not a rumor. We're going to start on the show, Michaela.

They're clearly not. She's celibate for five years. There's, you know. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't mean I'm not promiscuous. Next guest. Hey, guys.

And yes, welcome to Two Hot Ticks. I look a little different. But in case you guys don't know who I am, because for some reason I haven't been around for a while, I've been working on the other set. But I'm Morgan's dad. from Father Know Something. So Morgan, thanks for letting me on your show today.

Yeah. Dad is not a part of the LGBTQ plus community. However, he is one of the best dads I know. The most open, supportive, kind dad out there. So you're here to respond to this next story, our last story from a dad's perspective. Okay. I can do this.

this. So this is coming from R slash am I overreacting titled, My Son Just Told Me He Is Gay. Am I Overreacting? I, 52 male, am the father of a 17-year-old son. We are really close. He's my whole world. We've always had a great relationship. He's a typical guy for his age. He plays football, has a good group of friends, and we talk about everything, or at least I thought we did. Last night he came in my room and told me he was gay. He looked like he was going to throw up. He said, quote, please don't hate me for what I'm about to say. And then he told me. I just froze. I was just so shocked that I went totally silent for a few seconds. When he saw my reaction, he started crying. That snapped me out of it and I immediately hugged him and told him I loved him

over and over again, and he sobbed. He kept apologizing, and I kept shushing him and telling him that he didn't need to be sorry. We both cried. Since last night, I can't stop spiraling. I love my son with everything I have. This hasn't changed and never, never will, but I'm scared. In our country, this thing is complicated. People in the city are starting to accept it more, but we live in a small town in which things are still very controversial. When I was in high school, there was a kid who was rumored to be gay, and he ended up getting beaten so badly he had to move away. That's all I can see when I think of my son now, and it's destroying me. I don't know how to protect him. I feel helpless. He told me he's not going to act different or wear makeup or anything

like that, but honestly, that just made me feel worse. I don't want him to think he has to say that to make me feel more comfortable. I keep thinking about the stupid jokes I've made in the past, stuff I thought was harmless, and now I hate myself. I think I might have hurt him without knowing it. I don't know anything about gay people. I've never had anyone close to me come out before. I don't know what I'm supposed to do or say. Should I talk to him about boys like I would have talked about girls? Should I ask him about crushes, or would that make it weird? What happens when he starts dating. Do I treat it like I would if he brought home a girlfriend? I'm terrified. I will say or do the wrong thing and push him away. I want to be a good dad. I want him to feel safe with me,

but I'm overwhelmed and I can't stop thinking about all the things that could go wrong. I keep picturing people being cruel to him. I can't sleep. I feel like I'm failing him already by not knowing what to do to keep him safe. Am I overreacting? I don't have anyone in my life that I can talk to about this. I just want to do right by my son. You know, that is really the heart of all of our, of being a parent, is simply protecting our kids. And when we see something that can cause them a problem later in life, we are scared shitless. And sometimes we, me, can get really, in someone's opinion, nasty when I'm only who is trying to do things that, you know, protect my kids. and we only act out of love.

And I think the fact that what you just articulated here was so perfect and simple that that's what you should share with him. Say, I'm happy whatever your preference is. It doesn't matter to me. The only thing that matters to me is that you're safe. And because I've seen such meanness,

as a parent's point of view, watching other people going through the meanness what comes along with it, that's what makes me feared. Not the fact that you're gay. I'm totally comfortable. If you find someone that you can have a meeting of the minds with and love and will love you back with all their heart, what do I care?

And that's really what it's about. I mean, you only want happiness for, well, and I'm speaking people that should be, you know, of normal balanced love with their kids. I mean, there are people out there that are narcissistic and do have other have their own issues. But, you know, I speak generally. You only want love for your, you know, for your children. And I can definitely see that you have it for your son. And I'm sure he does feel it. And the fact that he was able to be open and talk to you shows you that he loves and he trusts you. But you have to be totally honest and tell him where your concern really is. There's nothing to do about his sexuality.

It has to do with somebody else coming on board and hurting him. Because there's a lot of of meanness in the world. Yeah. Yeah, as long as he's got you being supportive and caring and being his dad, that's all that matters. I think, you know, a lot of people don't even feel comfortable coming out to their parents or it's not safe for them to come out to their parents because they'll be cut off and kicked out of the house. And so many people go through stuff like that. And we've, you know, we've had stories and writings like that on Father knows of like, I want to come out, but I don't think it's safe. What do I do? You know, in my family, we do have people that are part of the LBGTQ.

LGBTQ plus. Plus, LGBQ plus community. And it is always, it was absolutely accepted with no issue. I mean, I'm sure my dad was, you know, was in disbelief when my sister came out. And only because his narrow-mindedness with a lot. of things in life. But, and I don't know what his deal was. I can't tell you.

He died soon after, so I can't answer. But we've, as a family, we've all accepted the love of her life. And in our own, and your family, we've always accepted the love of his life. I mean, in every family that I know, it's amazing how today's world is so different here in the United States than it may be in your country. Yeah. But it's, you know, it's every day. I mean, nobody, I don't, I don't, I certainly hope we don't have the hate that we did have

when I was in high school, because we certainly had it when I was in high school. You know, I think, unfortunately, a lot of LGBTQ plus people do face mean treatment, hatred, hate crimes. I mean, it, it is scary still, I think, today. But I think when it comes to living your life, like make sure you're opening up to the right people. And if your family is unwilling to accept you for who you are, then chosen family and the village that you build is more important. Absolutely. So I will say we've got some comments on this one, the top comment.

Hi, lesbian here. First off, I think you did an amazing job in your reaction to your son telling you he's gay. I've had to come out to my mom three times now, and her reactions ranged from it's just a phase to you need to talk to God about it. So you showing love and support was definitely the correct response. In reading your post, I do think you could benefit from doing some research on the LGBTQ plus community. I mostly want to point out that sexuality and gender expression are two very different things. This is in regards to the makeup thing. Most people are used to the stereotype that gay men are flamboyant and fern.

feminine and gay women are super butch and masculine, but that does not describe all gay men and women. Who we sleep with does not dictate how we look. If your son wants to wear makeup, cool, but it's not like a requirement to be a gay man. The last thing I want to say is in regards to when he starts dating. Please acknowledge it. Be excited for him. Ask questions. Speaking from first-hand experience here, I've been dating my girlfriend for almost nine months, and every time I bring her up to my mom, I get zero acknowledgement. And the conversation quickly changes to something else. After 30 years of hiding who I was,

it sucks to feel like I still need to hide myself from my mom. Just keep doing what you're doing. You're on the right track so far. Be supportive, be curious, make jokes. I'm constantly making not straight jokes. Make a crooked line when cutting wrapping wrapping paper. I've never done a straight thing in my life. That squiggly line is as straight as I am, L.O.L.

There are so many good dad jokes. But yeah, the most important thing is making sure your son feels accepted and loved. Best of luck to you. I agree. And I also think you did an amazing job. But I think the thing that you really have to do to finish the frosting on the cake is have the honesty talk of why you reacted. So he understands you didn't react because of his choice. You reacted because of just your fear of him being safe.

Yeah. And there's so many amazing comments here too, just like, again, people sharing their insights. Trans girl here, completely agree with everything, said, me coming out destroyed my parents' marriage. There were a lot of cracks, but ultimately, it's what did it. My mom disowned me, and then she divorced my dad when he refused to. My dad's a plumber.

He's made off-color jokes my whole life, but when I shared myself with him, he was so amazingly supportive. He was clear. There was much he didn't understand, and he asked me to be patient with him. But to know, no matter what, he was always on. on my side. And he has been. Now he's the guy at the Elks Club trying to educate his boomer buddies about trans issues. He's wearing pride shirts on job sites and doing everything he can to make sure

this really scary place is safer for me. A good dad can change the world. Oh my God, why am I going to cry? That's just so beautiful. It was. And I think like, I think parents, like one thing parents could do that I wish my mom would have done a little better is when you're scared and your behavior might seem irrational, be overly honest. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable with your kids and tell them the truth about why you're acting the way you're acting. And so I think for this guy where he's like, I've made some offhand jokes before. I'm scared. I don't know what to do. Be honest with your son. and say, you know, I feel bad about those jokes I've made in the past. I'm sorry. You know, going forward, be open with me. I want to hear about who you're dating and talk about guys with you.

Be honest. And that is going to go so much further with your kids because, yeah, you've lived life before and you've been a kid before, but it's your first time being a parent. So just be open and honest. And as long as you're supportive and loving, that's what matters. I agree. Oh, I'm just on the verge of tears here. I hate it. Well, it's been an amazing, amazing pride episode, you guys. We have had so many good guests, so many good stories. And I really do want to continue to highlight all issues that impact LGBTQ plus community. Hearing some of these stories could change someone's mind. I mean, it could open someone's eyes to being more accepting and inclusive and loving. So I hope that these stories reach someone that needs to hear it. Everyone deserves love. Everyone deserves love. deserves happiness, life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness and all that. So it's all I got to say. And welcome to fatherhood for me. Yeah. I mean, I feel, I know that the last read, you'll figure it out

real quick and you guys will be fine, really well. And thank you for having me on the show because I don't get to come on very often, guys. She kind of keeps me in the closet over there and locks the door. Not because of the closet on her pride episode. Not because of sexuality. just because she thinks I'm a beast and an animal. No, you're just, I don't know what to predict with you. So we keep him over on Father Know Something. So if you want more dad, check out Father Know Something. You'll, you're due for an episode.

You'll be back sometime soon. Yeah, she really limits me. And that is all I got. If you want more of us, head over to Patreon. We've got some amazing episodes over there. And until next time. And if you haven't tried, Father Know Something, you can catch Justin, Morgan, myself, and others,

as we are doing our thing over there. So until next time. Bye guys. Bye.