Two Hot Takes - 277: Calculated Cruelty..

Episode Date: July 9, 2026

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Lauren! Have you ever had a moment where someone is going out of their way to be strategically mean? Well that's what this week's stories entail.. people being purposely mean, cruel, despicable, or just weird. From an ex that sent the MIL to steal flowers out of OPs garden, to a guy who shushed his girlfriend after a car accident he may have caused (?!), to a husband that had the kids make a list of things they don't like about mom, and more! These are some thought provoking stories that will need your thoughts too!  Help Lauren: https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/comments/1urexp2/lauren_here_looking_for_dental_advice/?share_id=5kvXX7mozSV8LoUxzreWB&utm_content=2&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1 Patreon BONUS Content including FREE stories: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ NEW MERCH:  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://shop.twohottakes.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ WRITE IN TO US!! Our SubReddit! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Index: 00:00 -- Start Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Here we go. Welcome back to another episode. This is releasing some time in July. So we've got some fun colors in the studio. But this is a theme I've been thinking about for some time. Calculated cruelty. Or another way to put it, going out of your way to be strategically mean. Sadusi. That's tough. I'm very curious what you. think of these stories? Because some of them are like a question mark at the end. Like was he being really calculatedly cruel or was it a blessing in disguise or was she doing her a favor? We will see. But I think a lot of times in life you have something that happens to you and you're just like, that was really mean. Like there's no other way to interpret that right. Like it was so calculated and thought out and purposeful, that you're, you kind of like second guess and you're like, that had to be vicious, right?

Yeah. That had to be mean. Like, there's no accident or oops I didn't know involved there. Like, it is calculated. Yeah. So I think it'll be good. Yay. Are you ready, Chaddy McGee?

Yes. Buck up. Buttercat. Yeah. Shaddy McGee. It is ironic. Ironic. The irony.

So, well, because I started doing this thing where, like, as you're talking, I'm thinking about, like, a calculated mean moment that I had and one that came to mind. And then I was thinking, like, I don't need to air that out, but. Heard out. It was just when I was serving. There was a manager who, I don't know what her deal was, but, like, she would do things that were no other way to describe than just, like, purposefully mean. There's a lot of those people out there. there. So I just remember being confused by that because why? It's not helping our work environment. And I don't know. It's, you hurt my feelings. I hate that shit. And it honestly, it's really frustrating because

it feels like it's harder to be mean. Like you're going out of your way to be mean. It's so, it's so much easier to just be nice or just be neutral. But you don't even have to be overly nice. I think the thing though is that I think the humans really want people to feel on their level. So like people that are like really happy. I mean, this is a conversation that that's been had many times before. Not the first one here. But like people that are really happy, then they like to make other people happier because they're happy. I just saw TikTok on this.

Really? It was like successful people compliment and don't block other people. And happy people are always positive. And it was just like this TikTok. Yeah, I literally just saw this. I wonder if I can find it. But if somebody is like really unhappy and then they see somebody who looks to be happier than them, then they want to pull them down to their level.

I don't think that they necessarily want them to be less happy than they are. But I think that they want to feel that they're at a baseline. And so therefore they try to bring the people around them to match them so that they don't feel as bad as they do. or as if it says lonely or like isolated. I don't know. But like because when I think about it when when she was mean, a lot of people said that she just would pick on people to be mean to.

And that that she was like that she had struggles in her own life and that she was unhappy. And so that's just something that she did. And again, that didn't come from her came from other people. But it would make sense. It just would make sense. And it's not, it's unfortunate that that happens so often. It sucks. It sucks.

And people need to look within and go to therapy. It's also not fun to be that miserable and mean. Let's get into these stories and see what you think. And can't wait to hear you all sound off in the comments. Let's dive in. Let's do it. Okay, this first one we have comes with a little homework from Lauren. Lauren is on the hunt for something.

Mm-hmm. Tell them what you're looking for. Oh, okay. So actually, just to like go back in time, apparently when people get braces, sometimes they pushed it out too far. So your tooth is like against the bone and your gum. And over time it starts to wear, which that is what causes the recession. So a lot of people, if they see it, they see the gum recession. But it's actually because the bone is having recession. So then your gum follows it because it can only go so as where your bone is, right? So even if you floss every night like I do and are very like adamant about everything, retainers and all that stuff, it's just over time that this is something that can happen.

And unfortunately, it wore so much to the point that I'm like really worried about how many years I have until potentially like I have like a loose tooth. So I just wanted to ask you guys because it was like a very emotional experience when I went to the dentist last and went to the orthodontist too. And I would just love to know if you guys have any really highly recommended people that you could send my way. It could be Southern California that obviously be more convenient. But even if it's somewhere else, anybody that's just like blows it out of the water or if you know of anything. Because I've been looking up and trying to figure out if there's any. options to help with like bone growth and um sorry for the people who like I know some of this

stuff like makes people cringe so sorry for that but I do know that there's other people that have dealt with this so hopefully this like brings awareness yeah because it's really frustrating it's frustrated when you're trying to do all the things and um you still are you know met with like issues yeah yeah yeah health teeth anything mouth related is just so hard to deal with so Lauren is essentially looking for any solutions for like bone growth in your jaw bone. I know we've like talked about stem cells and things like that. Or if you've done maybe like implants for bone growth or a bone graft or if you have any recommendations for dentists, surgical people, like please, please send them her way.

And nerves and scarring too because I tried to do, I went to a peridontist. I did a gum graft. Yeah, I did a gum graft. and like if you guys have been falling along for a while, like I talked about it years ago. I like was like swollen in one of the episodes. And it ended up leaving this nerve damage. And I, it never went away. So that's annoying.

So if anything that you guys have that you could send my way, I would just appreciate it so much. Maybe you go and post on the two. I take subreddit too. So it's easy for people to just like leave all their feedback and stuff there. Yeah. And they can also message you on Instagram, but I feel like that's going to get a little lost. So I'll put a link for a post on Reddit and you can leave all your wrecks there. And again, like, that would be amazing.

It would just be so helpful. And you guys will see why we kind of plugged this before this story because this story is about orthodontist work. And I mean, just insecurities and dealing with stuff like that. And it's so, like, traumatizing and tough to deal with. And so kind of nice to have a little village when dealing with. stuff like this. So this first one is coming from R-slash off my chest. It's a month old, titled, I cry when I think about what my orthodontist told me. The day I got home after getting my braces off at 15, my mom saw me and became absolutely livid. She took me back to my orthodontist's office and demanded

that they, quote, fix my face. The doctors didn't understand what she meant. So they brought out the before and after photos, and my mom started pointing out every single little flaw in my appearance. For example, she said that from my side, my chin sticks out so far, that I look like a witch when I didn't before. I'd like love that look, by the way, so that's crazy. They said that these were minor things that may not have been a result of the braces and could just be genetic. But my mom was insistent that they had ruined my face and needed to continue working on it

to correct their mistake. At that moment, one of the orthodontists asked me to speak with me outside the office. She told me that I was beautiful and to not let my mom's words affect me. That's so important. I said, okay, but at the time, I didn't realize how deeply this would impact me for the rest of my life. We came back inside, and my mom told me to choose whether or not I wanted them to continue to work on me. I had hated having braces for the past three years and chose not to get any further work done. My mom looked me in the eyes and said, quote, fine, but don't blame me when you're older. A few years later, she took me to a celebrity dental surgeon and asked what he could do to fix my face. He pointed out the asymmetry, but said that the only thing that could change it was jaw surgery,

which he thought would be too complicated and painful to be worth it. After that, my mom told me not to show people the left side of my face. Oh, my God. Especially if it was a guy that I liked. Wow. She even told me not to wear my retainer in hopes that my face would revert back to how it was before. Oh, my God. When it was my sister's turn to get braces, my mom took her to a different orthodontist.

She said, verbatim, quote, I don't want them ruining your face like they did to your sister. Unreal. Since then, I haven't stopped seeing every flaw my mom mentioned when I look in the mirror. It has deeply affected my life to the point where I was too scared to date anyone until my early 20s because I felt so ugly and I didn't want to face the rejection. Now she wonders why I have such low self-esteem. People tell me that I'm pretty or beautiful, but because of what has been drilled into my head since I was 15,

I just can't believe them. I really can't believe them. I was also diagnosed with BPD, so on top of having, no stable sense of identity, I also don't even know what I look like anymore. I cry when I think about the kindness my orthodontist showed me that day. I realize now why they were so appalled to hear what this woman said in front of her own daughter. How cruel you must be to do that to your child. Oh, this hurts. This hurts so much because it's, it's crazy that this is coming from her own mother and this is hurtful no matter what, but to have a, like, your family member, the person,

who's supposed to be looking out for you. And I just want to like absolutely give major props to the orthodontist who pulled her to the side and did that because I also, if anyone's listening, who is in the medical profession or or just in a role where people are looking to you when they're vulnerable, when they're hurt, when they're trying to make sure they're not hurt. So if you're a doctor or a dentist or an orthodontist or anything, anything, it's just like, keep in mind how much your words matter. And your words matter so much. If you are having a bad day and it's impacting your bedside manner, you need to remove

yourself. You need to go outside the place, get a coffee, do something to shake it up. Like, you do not need to be patient facing if you have a shit bedside manner. Exactly. Because people are in their most vulnerable state. Like you go to the doctors, you go to the gynaecologist. Like you don't get in that position for like other people. It's like you're with your, you're with like a professional who you trust is going to make you feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation.

So if you can't get it together and say things that are going to be comforting, then you need to take the day off. Go home. Go home. That is on you. Like do not shame people. You have to look at it like this is their worst day. This is extremely hard. This is extremely vulnerable.

don't shame, don't judge, be kind. Think before you talk. Yeah, it's so important. I've had healthcare stuff where like, literally I went in for like, I went to urgent care and I was in high school and I had like a bump and I was just like panicking. Like as any sexually active 16 year old does. And I went in and this urgent care doctor shamed me so much and was so judgey and belittling and was like, like this is what you get. So messed up. And it's just like, it ended up not being anything. But I was like, you caused me

to panic and spiral. And I was a kid. Yeah. Like, and you were judging and being weird. Fucking weirdo. So messed up. Yeah. And that's why I just like want it to be such a big reminder because like I've had like a couple of like really like doctors who like I think were or dentists, like that were in a bad mood or something. I don't know like throughout my lifetime. But like where it's like when they say something that's like weird, Like, you remember that. You remember that from, like, your experience when you were a kid. And, like, I just think everyone needs to remember how, like, anything that people say, right? Like, there's a chance that it can impact them. But, like, when you're in a position of power like that, like, really, you got to watch your words. So I just like, that's why I want to give such major flowers to this woman who pulled her to the side. And was like, amazing orthodontist. Because it does matter. So, again, I'll get off like my. My rant there. No, it's very personal for you right now. And I mean, you just went to the dentist last week and had a horrible experience. So it's like it's so close to home. It's hitting so close to

home for you. And I think it is a good reminder. I know we have a lot of providers out there that listen. And you show the opposite side, like how good that orthodontist was. But unfortunately, our writer here has a mom that was just absolutely off her rocker. And OP said it herself, cruel. Yeah. Like ridiculously cruel. And I think even if you're a parent, like there's something to take from every single story we read. But if you're a parent, like your words in front of your kids and what you say and how you talk to them and what you comment on their bodies and features matters. So we do have a picture of OP.

Oh, wow. OPE's Reddit account is 10 years old, has more achievements than I think I've seen on a Reddit account in quite some time. over 10,000 karma. Show us the photo. And Opie posted in another subreddit R slash hair, Dying Only Gray hairs. This is our writer. Oh my God.

How? Absolutely beautiful. Yeah. Beautiful. And like I'm just like, I just, how is her mom doing that? That's crazy. That's crazy.

Insane. And it's just like, I think, I'm like, God, was the mom jealous? Was the mom? I'm jealous and like really trying to destroy her and bring her down. It's crazy to me because it's like the fact that her mom is trying to like say that her chin looks like a witch or whatever is the is so crazy to me. I'm like, what? Honestly, what?

Like so pretty and I'm looking. I'm like, face is really symmetrical. Yes. That is so wild. Honestly, a really nice chin. Yes, that's what I'm saying. I'm like, yeah, people do jaw surgeries to get that. To look like that.

Yeah. Like, what? It's insane. Absolutely insane. I mean, it would be insane no matter regardless. No matter. But like, it's just like crazy that like for her to, that's when you just know that it really is just so cruel to like say that her chin looks like a witch. I love pointy chin.

So like even you saying that in the start, I was like that's weird in general. But like it's, ugh, that's crazy. Crazy. Top comment. Is that really you in the photo on your other post? Yes, you are beautiful. I'm sorry your mother destroyed your self-esteem. That is really hard to get back. My self-esteem issues aren't related to my looks, and I still struggle accepting compliments on my looks and my

personality from my husband. Over time, you can work through it. Next comment. Oh my God, I just went and looked because of this comment, and you are absolutely right. O.P. is really beautiful. Her mother definitely has issues. A bunch of people then. Go look. See the photo. Same. I had to look and completely agree. She's beautiful. O.P., please don't listen. To those defeating memories, your mom was harsh and rude. You were quite attractive and I see kindness in your eyes. That speaks volumes after what you've been through. Best of life to you.

And so much support, just people commenting. Please know that your mother's comments were a reflection of her own insecurity and control issues and not a view in your appearance. Moms are unfortunately often their daughters first and cruelest bullies. That's horrible. I hope you are able to work on your self-esteem, identity, sense of self. You deserve to feel good in your skin and confident in who you are, sending so much love and peace. Okay, so I saw this thing the other day, and it says, the more controlling a person is,

the greater amount of shame and fear that lives inside of them. People try to control others in an attempt to avoid facing their own fear and shame. And I just think that that rings so true. Yeah, no, that is really profound. So true. And so with these comments and they're talking about like Opie's mom and how Opie's mom showed up, it's like that's because Opie's mom has an insane amount of fear and shame inside of her. And that's just so sad because I assume that Opie's mom loves her daughter, but she she couldn't navigate her own issue, like the own issues that she has well enough to be able to protect her daughter from them. And it sucks when that happens. It's insane. And I think there's a big push for people to get therapy and be healed. I think if you're going to have kids, you really got to

work on your shit. So you don't take out whatever shame issues you were scarred with out on your kids. Like break the cycle. Right. Break the cycle. Yeah. I think that's something I look at myself and something I've really, really tried to work to do. Yeah. Of like breaking the cycle. Yeah. That's good. Yeah, it's crazy. It's hard. We, and that's the thing is that like I think a lot of people look at other people and think that just because they don't see insecurities outwardly, they like forget that like we all have them. Oh, we all have them. It doesn't matter how famous or beautiful like somebody is. Like those people that we're looking up to, like they also have insecurities. Absolutely.

And they can, if we, if we dwell on them, they can really consume us. And it's, it's awful. It's a horrible feeling. That's why, like, particularly, like, I feel for OPEs so much because it becomes, like, a ruminating and, like, obsessive thought. And it's, it's impacting the way that she shows up and, like, her true happiness and experiencing life. And, like, I mean, like, I've, yeah, I've just, I felt like the reason me and Morgan

were talking about this is because. because I just, I had like a dentist who like kind of like recoiled at the recession that I have on this one tooth. And it just, it, it, like, it shook me. And it's so unprofessional. It maybe, it maybe seems like a small thing to a lot of people. And the dentist probably like, didn't even think that it was that big of a deal of his reaction. But it's like, when it's something that has already like made me feel so frustrated and insecure over. than like to have the professional react that way. Just like really, really shook me.

Again, extremely unprofessional. But moral of the story, like everyone is dealing with their own insecurities and just be kind to each other. And if, you know, for O.P., go to therapy. Realize you are beautiful. Realize your kind. Your mom, whatever crazy place she was coming from is not true. And to find your sense of self, I really think a big part of that.

is like finding things you love. What makes you feel happy? What makes you feel passionate? It could be something as simple as pottery or, yeah, I love my dog and I'm going to go walk my dog and be mindful. And like, I think practicing more gratitude is so healing. I'm grateful for this. Like one thing every day can change your brain. So lessons for some of all.

I have another thing that's profound that I kind of want to share. Okay. Okay. I can't find it. But basically. it was this guy talking about how, I don't know the exact way he framed it, but it's like you don't have to, you don't have to like pretend that you don't have problems or issues. It's about acknowledging all of the other good things around it. So like each time something happens, like, oh, it's such a

bummer that I'm so late to work right now. I'm so stressed. But then you go, but I'm very happy that I have a car to get to work. And I'm so grateful that I have a job to get to. And I'm, I'm so grateful that, you know, like there's, it's like a one and three rule or something like that. So it's basically, and it, you know, this person put it way better than I'm trying to repeat it. But I just think it's like a really empowering concept where it's like each time you run into an issue, you don't have to pretend that the issue isn't there. But like, just like doing, adding to the. gratitude of it, it just retrains your brain to like actually focus on these things that bring you happiness. And yeah, and over time, if you continuously practice that, then you,

you just start being happier person. Well, and it's the reframing, right? Where it's like, yeah, I might have been late, but look at what I have. Yeah. And it's like, let's reframe and like check back in with reality. Like that wasn't a big deal. This is actually what reality is. I love that. Yeah. Okay. Well, put your thoughts in the comment and moving on to this next one. This one is coming from our very own two-out-takes subreddit, a couple days old, titled, Mother-in-law came to my house to dig up my flower bed

because my husband's ex-girlfriend asked her to. For context, my husband, male 37, and I, female 30, had both recently gotten out of long-term relationships when we met. And we got married after only six months together. I moved out of my apartment and moved into the house that he has also owned and lived in for the past 10 years, four of those being with his ex. There is a flower bed surrounding the perimeter of the house with a mix of flowers that she planted and also flowers that my husband says have been there since he bought the house. I also looked at the old house listing from 2016, and yet most of the stuff in the front flower bed was still there. I've never owned a house before, so I was excited to have a garden.

and plant some new flowers and take care of the existing ones. Today I was supposed to work, but I had the day off. I usually work Monday through Friday evenings, and my husband works all day, every day, typically. So I'm coming home, and I pass by my husband's mom in the car, clearly passing our house. I stop, roll down the window to say hello, and before I can even say anything, she says to me, along the lines of,

quote, I'm here to feel the ground to see if it's soft enough to dig up. because, ex-girlfriend's name, had asked me to dig up the flowers she planted. She didn't really want to come do it herself, then asked me to, then said, never mind, but I still am going to. Literally, I don't know what to say. I said it was fine and went into my house while she poked around the flower bed. I immediately called my husband and told him that this isn't okay. He needs to talk to her. I feel uncomfortable that, one, his mom talks to her to the point where she felt comfortable asking his elderly mother to dig up our flower bed, and two, that his mom would actually come to my house to do it while I'm at work. That's crazy. I don't even know what else to do or how to handle this.

I just feel incredibly disrespected as his wife. I should also mention that his mom and his two sisters had taken her to dinner for her birthday after they had been broken up for a month, and she was in the process of moving out. But when that happened, his best friend told me that they weren't even close to her and didn't like her that much. So it's just confusing to me. How am I supposed to feel comfortable with his family and form a relationship with them? Am I overreacting?

Would you drive to your adult son's house that he owns and shares with his wife to dig up the flower bed because his ex-girlfriend asked you to? That's insane. This is so weird. You're going to come steal flowers back? Go to Lowe's, baby.

They got sales on... How long is it then? if she's married, then how long has it been? I know. Got married after only six months, but yeah, have you been married for a week? Two months, a year? And how long were they, like, broken up for? I don't know.

The whole thing is just weird to me. I, one of my, like, boyfriend at the time, his ex, after we were dating and they had been broken up for whatever it was, a long time, she realized that he was staying with him. me and being with me and that like I'm his girlfriend. Then she started pulling stuff like that where she would be like, by the way, I have sweatshirts of yours that I need to get back or like, stuff like that where it was just like, when can I bring like your sweatshirts? And he was like, I don't, I don't really care about them. Like you can keep them or donate them. Yeah, give them to one of my friends that like, I'm good. You see, because they were in college, we're in college.

And he can bring it back. And she's like, no, I need to hand deliver them to you. Because it's an excuse. Exactly. It's an excuse to like and like control where it's like you're going to give me your time. Yeah. And it's just some weird manipulative thing. It's like flowers, you know, dude, pulling them out of the ground, replodding them. Maybe they'll take, but you could also kill them. And flowers can add up and be pricey, but just ask him to reimburse you. Exactly. And go get new flowers. Exactly. Like, hey, I made improvements. to your home that I'm not going to benefit from. Can you please reimburse me for the flowers?

Right. There's no mention how long they've been married. O.P. did post this in a couple other subreddits. But I'm not seeing really any other context comments about how long they've been together. There is a comment here that says, I think your mother-in-law thinks you were the mistress, which, I mean, they were together for four years. and then he marries this new person after six months, family's probably, they're gabbing.

They're talking their shit. They're coming up with all sorts of rumors and hypotheses. O.P. does respond. She totally does, which I believe the ex-girlfriend does too. I can't blame them. I probably would too if I were on the other end. And someone responds, your husband needs to clear that up for you. Yeah.

Like, don't run my name through the mud. Mm-hmm. Hell no. So how did husband raise? react. Like, there's a comment here that says he hasn't been home from work yet to actually discuss and all he has said so far is that it's weird. He feels violated and he will handle it and talk to his mom. So he's not feeling great about it either. Yeah. Feels super weird. Feels like it's crossing a boundary. Which, yeah, it's like, like out of all the ways to just like jab at me, you're going to

come to my house and just dig up my flowers. I would be pissed. It feels really. It feels really. It's Really weird. Yeah. So we don't have any update on this one yet. O.P., if you're out there listening, please keep us posted. Top comment. Your husband needs to put a stop to this. It's his crazy-ass mom causing unnecessary drama. Next one down for real. Why is his mom still taking orders from an ex who moved out? And why is she showing up to your house while you're at work? That's insane behavior. Feel free to call the cops for destruction of property, since that's what this is. I would also put up a camera. Like if you don't have home security cameras already, you should put up a camera. And there's brands that are amazing, like Ufi.

I love Ufi. They don't have a subscription, not sponsored. I just genuinely love them. And I think they're less problematic than other home security brands. I saw someone post a video of their Amazon Alexa, like talking at them. And it's like some agent on the other end of that device turned their mic on and was just like, That's insane. It's scary, actually.

And that's the other thing. It's like, all these cameras and all these devices and all these things tracking us. And it's just like, we're going to have like zero privacy eventually. Like, I don't know how we're going to. I came across this video the other day where a guy was talking to his Alexa and was like, how did you know. The nursing. Yeah. Yes.

That one freaked me out too. I thought, I was trying to figure out if it was like a prank. or something. I don't think so. So basically this guy was just like confronting his Alexa because the Alexa said he was a nurse and he's like, I've never mentioned that to you. How would you know this about me? And there's all of these other cameras like flock, like flock cameras are going up in every city across the U.S. All of these new data centers are basically to store all of this surveillance on U.S. citizens. And it's terrifying. And so all of these flock cameras are going up and they're already massively being violated.

There's already massive lawsuits from people, like, basically being like my rights have been violated. People that have access to them, the people that I've seen that these news articles are coming out about our police, and police are stalking people. This one guy used flock and access to the cameras over 3,000 times to stalk someone he was dating. It's like, shouldn't have access to stuff like that. Terrifying.

Like, why are we creating this hyper-surveillance, state. If it's like this now, I just wonder what it's going to look like in 10 years. Scary ass thought. Mm-hmm. Scary ass thought. But, yeah, I think you definitely need to get your husband on board if he's not and set some boundaries and get a security camera for your house. And I get, that's, it kind of feels bad. But if they show up at your house, you need to know. If they go harvest to these plants, you need them on tape. So it's a little catch-22 there. So weird. Was there communication beforehand, like, about...

No. We didn't have anything like being like, hey, like, I know this is weird, but like those plants mean a lot to me. And they were expensive and I really want them for my yard and I bought them. So like, is there a time that I can do this, please? No, there's no mention of that. And a lot of plants, I'm like, I'm so curious, what are they? Like, are they tulips? Maybe she got some tulip bulbs when she went to Amsterdam and planted them in the garden. Like, are they sentimental? If they are, just communicate. Right. That's what makes me feel like it's just like a weird move.

Calculated. Yeah. Okay, moving on to this next one. This episode is brought to you by Credit Karma. Breathe in. Now breathe out. You feel that? That's the calm of having Intuit Credit Karma in your corner.

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Thanks to credit karma, I realized I missed some student loan payments. Thanks, credit karma. This one is coming from our very own two-out-out-tick subreddit, titled, Is It Unreasonable to Treat Masturbation as Cheat. In order to avoid bias, I'm going to keep all pronouns neutral, but this is about my heterosexual relationship. There's also an age gap of 15 years, and we have two children together. We've been together for a little over 10 years now. I'm just looking for some honest opinions. Yes, I've had this talk with my partner a couple of times over the years, but it is still a recurring problem.

I believe in masturbation. I used to do it a lot more often when I was younger, but it has slowed down a lot as I've gotten older, and I only do it occasionally now, like once or twice every few months. My partner and I have fairly high sex drives, and even after 10 years together, we still have intimacy at least two to three times a week, minus the occasional dry spell of a week or two when things are super stressful over the past years. My partner doesn't masturbate and never has as far as I know, not even when they were a teen or young adult. Recently, over the last two to three years, my partner has expressed that I should not masturbate either,

and doing so is essentially cheating. They were in a previous abusive relationship before me where their partner cheated repeatedly, including stuff like phone sex. I've never been even slightly unfaithful to my partner and usually don't even watch porn when I masturbate. I also use a toy that my partner got for me, that I use with them in the bedroom regularly. It is typically a very quick activity,

less than five minutes, and coming gives me a nice little boost of energy. None of this matters, though. And my partner has said that if I want pleasure like that, then I should be going to them for it. And doing it myself makes them feel that I don't desire them. I've tried to explain that masturbation is a personal thing for me, and it feels very controlling to have my partner telling me what I can and cannot do to my own body. Yeah. When I am alone. We've never come to any kind of agreement or compromise on the topic.

Now, it has gone to a point where any time I masturbate, they give me the cold shoulder for days. Oh, my God. I'm not even sure how they know when I do it, but the reaction is always immediate. That feels like a camera. Terrifying. If I masturbate before they get home from work, then they come home already knowing somehow and being upset about it.

I don't know what to do here. Am I in the wrong for refusing to give up occasionally masturbating? Or am I right to feel like this is controlling behavior from my partner? It's very controlling and scary and I think you should look for cameras. You need to be checking for cameras. Like they know immediately, they come home from work. What do they do? Sniff around?

No, there's a camera. There's a camera. They're getting little pings watching you. The other thing that I find interesting is that like there's not a mention of like specific like, like, as if O.P is viewing certain like porn websites or something like that. No. Like we're not. So it's like is it rarely watching porn? It doesn't mention that.

It's not focused on that. Like if the partner was just like you looking at other people while like do. that makes me feel horrible. Like, then like that's, yeah, that's a different conversation. But like, what's interesting to me is like, does Opie's partner still feel that way if OPEB has like pictures of their partner? Or, I mean, I don't even think it's that though. I think it's literally the control. That's what I'm saying.

That's why I'm like that. That's what's like very. Because, you know, everyone has different feelings about that. Like some people do like to, they, they want to be like, I want you to only like. think of me. Yeah. Yeah. So like some people like have those conversations and some couples are on board with that and everything.

So but like what's interesting is that like it seems like it's just the act it's at all. It doesn't matter if it's like photos of O.P's partner or whatnot. So that's what makes it feel like extremely controlling. Extremely. And the stonewalling. That is so bad to punish your partner for. not behaving in the way that you're expecting. But it's beyond controlling.

It just feels absolutely illogically insane to me. My partner has said that if I want pleasure like that, then I should be going to them. You have no bodily autonomy then. You have no control over your body, your desires, your wants, your needs, that you can't even touch yourself if your partner's not around.

Or like, hey, I just want to get my rocks off. I'm stressed. I want a boost of energy, whatever it is. Like, no, no, no. If you want that, you need to check in with me. I need to provide that for you. Yeah. That is preposterous.

Yeah. Like, honestly, if this continues to be a massive issue and they continue to stone while you and punish you, this will end your relationship. No one wants to feel that way with their partner because it creates such an unsafe dynamic. Like, you can't actually be. be yourself. And that's like something that I've been thinking about a lot lately is like editing yourself. Like how how do you have to edit yourself in certain situations? And for example, work, you know, you're going to have different conversations with people at work than you are, you know, when you're at the bar with your friends. But I think about this a lot with like,

with the people that you spend the most time with that you're the closest with, it's just like, are you editing yourself? And like, if so, why? And do you feel like you have to? Is it something you can talk through? Is it something where maybe this is just not like a good dynamic and it's not a match? And that's that's when I'm like, when I hear this, how could you with the person you're supposed to be the most comfortable with feel like you have to hide and be shamed about About yourself. You, I mean, you shouldn't have to do that. And if you are doing that, then you're not friends with the right people.

You're not with the right person. Be yourself. Yeah. Point blank. Love me for me or this ain't going to work. Yeah. Like, there's just, there's no if, ands, or buts about that. I do appreciate the fact that O.P. kept this super neutral because I'm thinking about it in my head, too.

And I'm like, what am I envisioning O.P. to be? Does gender to me and this does not mess? matter, but I do find it, I'm like so curious because I'm so interested in like the dynamic. Yeah. But whether O.P. is woman, man, non-binary, they, that I'm like, whatever, it's still so, so toxic. Yeah. People don't like to believe this about anybody on this podcast, but like I actually do flip it in my head a lot when I hear stories. Like, I do think of it in this way where it's written,

where I'm like, okay, how would I feel if this was happening to me versus like, how would I feel if, like, I was doing this? And, and so I do try to like put it in. I put myself in all the shoes. Yeah. So I try to do that, which is like, which again is like a lot of times people are like, oh, you're just on like the girl's side or like, oh, you're like, you're on the guy's side. You're being a, like, it's all these things. But like I really do, I really do. I really do flip it around. So I do like that this like story is just neutral. Yeah, it's really nice. No one can accuse us of anything. No. Top comment, no, it's not cheating. And are there cameras you don't know about or something? How on earth would they know with certainty? O.P. responds, that has been a recent concern of mine, just because of how immediately they know when I do it. Next comment, oh wow, this is a massive red flag. Terrifying. And another person responds, just like the 15-year age gap.

next person, that depends entirely on the ages they were when they met. Someone responds to that. They've been together for 10 years, which makes the age gap more concerning because there was a 15-year age gap when OP was 10 years younger. Op. Chimes back in in response, we met shortly before my 30th, they were 45. We were both grown and had a casual friends with benefit situation for a short time before dating exclusively. A little more than a year in a dating, we got pregnant with our first, and moved in together shortly after the birth. Our second was born exactly three years and 13 days after our first. Someone responds to that.

That clears up the genders. Check your house for cameras. I'm very serious. This is a psychopath level of control. Not allowing your partner to touch themselves, even when you're not around, is unhinged. But him knowing exactly when you do it means he deliberately violates your privacy just for the sake of control.

A partner that truly cares would be happy for the other Or genuinely and kindly ask to watch Instead of you need to come to me for pleasure. Blah. Wow. I didn't, what did you think? I thought female when I was in my head. And then I was shocked where I'm like a guy not masturbating at all?

Yeah. Which, okay, maybe I'm like I feel like everyone, doesn't everyone try to get off? like now and again. Right. Like never? Right. Never is like a pretty big, like never.

Right. That's why I think I kind of was, if I had to guess, was thinking the opposite. Yeah. Yeah. True. Yeah. Because I mean, we've talked. We've had like girlfriend nights where like everyone's talked and like there's been like multiple friends of mine that are just like, I'm not really into it.

Right. I would rather do it with someone. So yeah. Mm-hmm. Literally as people are hearing it, I think it'll go. go either way for a lot of people. Yeah. But no, this is insane.

There are a couple of other comments from OPE. We have talked about it multiple times. We just can't reach an agreement or even agree to disagree peacefully, I guess. I've also begun to worry about the possibility of cameras I don't know about. I'm so creeped out. I'm so creeped out. OPAs asked, like, how do I check? Because people are like, please do a sweep for cameras in chargers and small appliances,

nanny cams and teddy bears and such. And OPE is like, how do I do that? and then people just share that there's various signal detection apps and devices out there. Don't know how effective any of them are. I've also seen the hack where if you shut all the lights off and take your phone camera and scan it around a room, like no lights, anything with a camera or like an infrared will have a glow to it. Okay. So that's one way. Yeah. But you've got to do a sweep.

You absolutely got to do a sweep. So OP says this. I think I will try the toy first because we have extremely. unreliable Wi-Fi that has been down for weeks. So that seems to rule out a hidden camera, at least for the most recent incident, 48 hours. I don't think it has Bluetooth, but I don't know what else it could be. So OP is thinking that maybe that toy, because the partner got her the toy, got them the toy, whatever it is.

And so they're thinking that maybe the partner knows because any time you turn on the toy goes to like a freaking phone. There's toys that you can control from your phone. Right. Right. Dude. That would be so insane. People are asking like, well, he'd be upset if he's not good at any.

And O.P's like, this isn't an instead of situation. It's on top of our normal active sex life. Sex two to three times a week. Yeah. After children. Hats off to you. I'm like even so, though. Like, even if.

No, I'm just impressed. by it. Right. Like not, not anything really related. I'm just like, good for you. Because I'm 32 with no kids and it's, you know, we're having a hard time right now. We're a little busy. Yeah, I just don't even have words because this, this really creeps me out. Like, I don't, I don't like how it feels at all. And it's like, they're so deep into the relationship too. And I'm curiously how else the rest of the relationship is because I don't feel like this can just be a one-off. I mean, maybe. But like, it feels like this type of control, it probably seeps into other areas, too, of their relationship. So I would just be really curious to hear if there's anything else.

Yeah. Or if this is, like, very isolated because it's, like, a huge trigger for OPE's partner because of their last relationship. And so it's, like, something that, like, the partner needs, needs to work through on their own. And, like, if you're going to have those type of expectations of people, like, feel like you need to talk about them up for. front, like before you guys even say, like, let's be boyfriend and girlfriend, because if you're going to have that restrictive of expectations, you got to find someone else who feels the exact same way as you. I wonder if it's a newer thing. I'm very curious, as you said, if there's other issues, does this bleed in anywhere else? Or is it only this? And wow, because this is an insane level of

control and then abuse following by the stonewalling. So I have a hard time believing it doesn't seat elsewhere, but I would start to make this a hill I would die on, to be honest. Like, I would probably try couples therapy and try to get a neutral third party to explain to my partner that this is healthy, this is normal. It's not right for you to try to inhibit that and then punish your partner for it. I would try to work through it with someone. But if they don't respond and this continues to be an issue, I honestly wouldn't feel safe anymore. No. Like I wouldn't be able to stay in that relationship. No. O.P. posted on our subreddit, likely out there listening. Six-year-old account, verified email. I thought you were going to say an update. No.

Oh. You said it like it was going to be an update. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. But what has happened with a lot of the two hot take stories that I read, they hear it on the episode and then they come back. Oh. So I like to read this. these ones in hopes it inspires an update like or people even if it's not on the two out takes subreddit like then people will from the podcast big i heard it on the podcast is everything okay and then they update so it does help us get updates by reading these stories well honestly the two out takes um subreddit is so there's so much there now it's grown so large that i saw in the comment section once that people were like, oh my God, I didn't even know that this was a podcast. Yeah, it was on the post where our

listener was writing about being like, too outtakes is the reason I'm alive and shared about their leukemia experience. Yeah. And they were like, I didn't know it was there. I just come here for the tea. Right. But I remember when it was created, when it was like so, so small. It was just like, just a baby. Just a few people on there. And then so I didn't look for a while. And I remember looking back later and like a few months later. And I was like, oh my gosh. I know. It's really crazy. I just clicked on the insights. I'm like, how many people see this sub?

Over 11 million people have been on it in the past 30 days. Wow. Which is just like, what the hell? That's insane. Yeah. That's insane. It's so nuts. I used to see like this little flare Reddit used to have where it was like top 1%.

But I don't see that anymore. I don't know if they still do it. Maybe it's gun. I don't know. Maybe it's not the top 1% anymore. I guess that just means you guys are going to go have to write your two outtakes posts on there. But again, update us OP and moving along to the next one. This is coming from R slash Am I Overreacting.

It's titled, My Girlfriend of Three Years, Gifted My Biggest Insecurity to Her Friends as a Funny Story at Game Night. Oh, no. And I left. Am I Overreacting? No, it's your biggest insecurity. Last weekend, we did our usual game night at home. Everything was great until we had had a few drinks and found ourselves playing a classic Never Have I Ever game. Out of nowhere, my girlfriend, 28 female, starts sharing this story about how, when we first

started dating, I was really anxious about being naked around her because I've got a scar from surgery I had as a kid. She went into detail, even striking the awkward pose I apparently did that first time. Everyone burst out laughing. Meanwhile, I was sitting right there, my face probably as red as a tomato, but I kept quiet. Didn't want to ruin the fun, you know. Later, when the guests laughed, I told her calmly that it really stung. That's a personal story I shared with her, not fodder for laughs.

She just rolled her eyes and said, Babe, it was funny. You're way too sensitive. There are friends. So I crashed on the couch. Come morning, she acted like nothing had happened, even made a job. even made a joke about it again. I packed a bag and went to stay with my brother for a few days.

Now she's blowing up my phone, saying I'm ruining the relationship over a stupid joke and that I embarrassed her in front of our friends by being distant all night. I get that couples poke fun at each other, but this felt different. It was like she took something I've genuinely struggled with, something I cried to her about early on,

and turned it into a punchline. I've told her so. many times that I really hate when people bring up the scar. She absolutely knows this. Now I'm feeling guilty since she's crying and saying it wasn't meant to hurt. Part of me wonders if I'm overreacting and should just let it slide. But another part thinks she crossed a line and doesn't even recognize it. What should I do? See, that's the thing is that like if they had the type of relationship where they were constantly poking fun at each other and that was couples that do that. Right. And they love it and they get off on it. It's great. And that's fine.

Yeah. But if somebody comes to you, even if, even if, even if they had that relationship, if they, if someone comes to you crying about something saying that it is their biggest insecurity, don't turn around and make a mockery of it specifically in front of people. Like, no. It's like, what was she thinking? Exactly. Like even doing that if it was just like one on one that, that. could really, really hurt. Sometimes people will cross the line, like, and think that, like, it's something that was in the past because they don't find it something that you should be ashamed of and that, like, they don't see it as something that should be an insecurity. And so they're like, oh, no, that's fine. Like, it's fine to make fun of now that they've probably gotten past it. But it's like, no, if somebody came to you and, like, cried to you and said that that's, like, one of their biggest insecurities, then it doesn't matter how, like, how ridiculous it might be. Like, it's just

like, you got to respect that. Respect it. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. That's it. Not that hard. I mean, O.P. said, I've told her so many times that I really hate when people bring up the scar. Yeah. She absolutely knows this. And then you talk about like, okay, the scar, they are insecure about the scar. And then because they're so insecure about the scar, the first time we hooked up, they did this awkward pose. Yeah.

And then you act out the pose. Right. Do you think that's going to make that person ever want to be intimate with you again? Yeah. Like ever want to be vulnerable with you again? Like, what were you thinking? That's not even something I would enjoy hearing. Right.

Like, that's not as a friend. Right. I watched my friends and then their couple do that. I would feel really uncomfortable. I'd feel bad. And I'd just like, what the hell? Yeah. What the hell?

Yeah. Not overreacting. You've been dating for three years. It's a long time. But I would have a hard time getting over this. Like, you know, I'm insecure about stretch marks. And if Justin made a comment in front of everyone like, oh, Morgan and your stretch, oh, it'd be on sight. It'd be just, mm-mm, it would not go well. Yeah. And so it's like, again, why do you want to belittle me? Why do you want to demean me?

Why do you want to make me feel worse about something that you already know I'm insecure and struggling with? Why? I will say, though, that I don't think, I don't think, I don't. think this one was like intentionally cruel. I think this one was okay I think this one was like accidental yeah like there's like embarrassment that comes with saying a joke that doesn't land a joke that hurts somebody's feelings like there's a lot of embarrassment and and so we've had a lot of stories like this and it's a typical reaction to be like no you're being sensitive because like they now they feel as embarrassed as you do I mean not necessarily but you don't even mean like now they feel that way so they're trying to deflect and be like no no no you're like you need to

be okay with this because it wasn't that big of a deal and so I think that that's probably what happened and O.P's partner is just trying to make light of it still and then once like O.P actually left that's when the partner like spiraled because then they were like okay what I did actually did damage and I don't know like How did the partner ever come around? No. Not yet. Not as far as we know. I mean.

And the problem I have too. Okay. I'm with you for maybe it wasn't intentional. Maybe it was accidental and you're just a fucking horrible comedian. But to then flip it and say, you're the one ruining our relationship over a. No, that's messed up. Stupid joke. And you embarrassed me by acting distant all night.

And now you're the one crying and you're the one making this about you, just fucking admit you're wrong. Right. Just fall on your sword. People, if you can take one thing maybe from this story, be okay falling on your sword. Yeah. Because it is going to get you better results. Exactly.

If you genuinely did this on accident, if you genuinely feel bad, don't let the shame take over and then try to flip it. Yep. Fall on your sword. So true. It can just be a fucking butter knife. It doesn't have. to be a dagger. Like just, no, it's so true. And I think that not even like, not even for the people

out there who are like, you don't have to be, you don't have to be a bad person, you know, you don't have to like make some huge mistake. Like, you could just make a small mistake and fall on your sword. Like, it's okay. It's okay. Yeah, it's okay. Like to, you know, to own that. And I think that like, it's a very like common like human reaction for us to just try to like protect ourselves by like, I don't know, whatever. I mean, it's unfortunate that the partners still won't let up. The first few, like, responses would be more natural. The, like, dying on this hill, you're ruining our relationship. That's crazy. Now you're, now you're getting to the point where, like, you're really losing the plot and you're, like, losing the point of a relationship.

Relationships are to be able to hear each other and respect each other, love each other, take each other's feelings into consideration. So it's like now, no, like you're losing the plot. Like your partner is explaining to you and has explained to you beforehand how much this is painful for them. And instead of taking a second to be like, hmm, do I love and care and respect and want to be with this person? Yes. Okay. Then maybe I should act like it. You're just going to like double down and die on this hill. And that's the unfortunate thing that happens sometimes. Whoee. But I do. But with that being said, like, I don't, without any other context, like, I just don't think that, like, the partner was, like, trying to be evil. Yeah. You know what I mean? But you're also not overreacting. No. Of course not. Like, do not feel like you're overreacting and you're wrong for these feelings. Yeah, exactly. Which the top comment does agree, not overreacting, so disrespectful to tell the story in the first place. But even more so to react like that when you brought up the issue.

next comment down. And to triple down on it when he left to stay with family, trying to turn it around on him. Classic manipulator tactics. Sorry, OP. That's really fucked up. Not overreacting. And then someone responds. It goes, Darvo at work. Deni, attack, reverse victim, and offender. And this is something I wanted to bring up. And I really want psychologists to chime in because I am very curious about this. And I know with a lot of psychology phrasing and terminology, like gaslighting and narcissists and things like that. It's kind of with the internet and pop culture, it's been twisted in a way that's not necessarily accurate. Like, oh, he gaslit me. And it's like, no, no, no, it wasn't actually gaslighting. And I'm curious if we're getting to a place like that with Darbo. Because is this Darvo?

Is this truly like someone who's using this in an abusive way? Or is this someone being just defensive, which is also an innately human thing to do. And so are we, you know, how should we be using Darvo to be true to what Darvo is? I guess like when people like use abusive tactics in relationships, I think a lot of it is because it's like self-preservation, like defense mechanisms, like feeling shameful, feeling, you know, kind of like we're talking about like the fear and shame turning into control. control. So that's why I'm like, and it ends up being abusive. But like, I don't think that there's, there's obviously a difference between intending to be abusive and then just being abusive because you're trying to, you know, save face for yourself. It's a fine line, I guess. Yeah. I'd love for

psychologists or any psychiatrists or any, you know, people that have really studied that to be like, okay, Darvo applies here, doesn't apply here. This is when you should use it. Because I'm like, is it one of those things? What is the definition of abusive or like an abusive? Abusive behavior includes actions that engender fear and intimidation or undermine the other person's self-determination. Many controlling behaviors may also be abusive within the context of physical or psychological abuse. Yeah. So I think that that's why I'm like in terms of undermine the other person's self-determination.

I mean, that's very broad. Exactly. That literally could be in this case, like you're undermining his feelings. So it's tough. Yeah. It's really tough. That's what I'm saying like... So much nuance.

Right. That's what I'm saying like abusive. The word abuse and abusive sounds like really heavy. And it is. But I think that it can be these smaller moments. I mean, there's another broader definition here coming from the United Nations. Includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure, or wound someone.

And then it's like, it can be all of these other, like, I mean, it's like, again, if it feels wrong and it feels like that to you, it probably would qualify. Yeah. I think a lot of people, with that being said, a lot of people fall into this, like, Darvo trap is, and they're not trying to. I can see it. It's easy to get defensive. Right.

I've seen articles talk about, like, this innate, huge. desire to always defend yourself. And by defending it, you can accidentally deny and be like, no, no, no, but like I was coming from this place. And as you explain your intentions to try to defend yourself, it can then turn into Darvoh. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, no, it's, it's tough. Again, I'm excited to see the comments on this one. But that's all we got. Okay. That's all we got. So moving along. Okay, we back. We're back. We stepped away. We're like, okay, are we giving funky energy? We stepped away. We walked across the street on an adventure, had three of the craziest interactions. I've had in quite some time. We got some wine. I wouldn't even call them crazy. They were just so

odd. Like, I told Morgan I was standing behind her and I like wanted to lean over and look and see what Morgan's face was doing because I was like, is she making weird faces? smiling at the person. Like, why are these people being so? We went to three different stores and not a single person there knew how to handle us. It was like everything we were saying was like, like I was like, we went to a wine store, got wine. I was like, this place is so cute. You have so many great wines. Like you have so many good little snacks. And it was just like, uh-huh. And then Lauren was asking about a claw clip and you're like, who are these made by? And she like said said the name that was on there and I was like, is it, is it like a small business?

Small business. And she's like, everything here is a small or local business. And I was like, yay. Like, I don't, it was just so, like, well, I was like, everywhere we went, it was like, you should know this already. Yeah, yeah. Like, you should know this. And then we went to a coffee place and I literally went to the coffee place to get

clear cups for the wine. And I was like, yeah, can I get two shots of espresso and then like an oat milk chaser? It just didn't go well But everyone Everyone was nice But just didn't She was like They thought we were weird

She was like Oat Milk Like on on the side And Morgan was like Yeah And she's like Okay I guess

Sure She's like yeah Just like in a little espresso cup as well She's like And then I asked for a cup And she's like Can I have like

Two cups for water And she was like there's cups over there and you can take as many as you want and I was like what's happening maybe she thought that I thought they charged her cup I don't know I don't know it wasn't it wasn't the word she was saying it was the way that they were all saying the words it was so crazy it was like they were like um you good yeah she was so cute too I'm like did I scare you with my smile. I don't know.

Yes, she didn't want to smile. None of them were big fans of smiling. But here we go. We got a couple more crazy, calculated, cruel ones. I've also got more lighthearted ones towards the end and a little bit of a crazy pallet cleanser maybe. So let's get back in. Oh, so I don't drink coffee that often anymore.

Usually I have decath. Uh-huh. So are you shaking? What's happening? Yeah, I, I am. I don't know if you see that. It's very subtle. But my point is, is that like if I start getting like jittery and weird, like just don't mind me. Just ignore us today. Focus on the stories. Yeah, exactly. Okay, this next one. This is coming from relationship advice. My fiance, 27 female, ended our engagement over text and exploded when I, 27 male, accepted the break. up. I'm numb, trying to process how my engagement evaporated over text last night. We've been together for one year and eight months engaged since October. She's bisexual with two female exes, and she constantly compared me to them. In those past relationships, she was always the masculine one. Early on, I told her it was completely okay and that I accepted that about her. But she never treated me

like a fiancé. When she took me to hang out with her friends, she wouldn't even introduce me. She just told me I'm a grown man and should interact with them myself. Hmm, okay. I'm introverted and too shy to initiate without an introduction, so I was just left sitting there like a rock. That's so mean. I had my shortcomings too. I was constantly stressed managing a heavy workload, paying bills, and financially supporting my cousin through college. It made me preoccupied and spaced out. Meanwhile, she always demanded weekend travels, leaving me no money or time to rest. The breaking point happened when she had a female friend stay at our house. For two nights, they cuddled in bed. Knowing her history, I admitted it made me jealous and uncomfortable. She brushed me off.

I will do what I want to do, blah, blah, blah, blah. Deal with it. Okay. Communication shattered. We had a massive fight on June 1st, and she checked out. I spent days begging her to give us another chance, but she kept saying she didn't love me anymore. Clearly. Yesterday, completely exhausted, I finally texted her that I wanted to break up, since I couldn't keep chasing someone who didn't care. Tonight, she sent the final blow, telling me she doesn't love me and to not waste her time. It broke me, but I didn't beg this time. I took the high road. I calmly texted back accepting her decision, apologized for my flaws, and thanked her for everything. My calm acceptance drove her insane. She exploded into brutal personal attacks, text shouting, you're proving me right. You're

okay right away with the breakup. What the fuck? Where is your manhood? Oh, wow. She called me a backboneless boy who needs his mother and no girl would ever want me and demanded I go tell her family we are over. Her text was an emotional trap. She expected me to crawl and beg again. When I acted like an adult and accepted her boundary, she lost her leverage and lost her mind. I sent one final text. I told her to enjoy her weekend and that I'm coming over this Saturday to face her parents directly. I explained the breakup, get my things, and return her motorcycle. She immediately replied, with more rage, blaming me for not fighting for her, I left her on red. How do I handle facing her parents this Saturday to explain the breakup? And how do I maintain my boundaries if she shows up?

Sorry. Wow. Have you ever explained your breakup to someone's parents? No. I don't, I'd be like, I'm not doing that. No. I just, on my stuff, here's your motorcycle, let's call it good. Opies X scares me, first of all. Scary. And I can't...

If you have to look at Lauren's face for that, just like head shake, disheveled, just enraged, looking for the words. No, I was hoping you would cut that part out. It was so, like your expression, though, says so much without saying nothing at all. Oh, that espresso shot's hidden, man.

Wow. Oh, my God. Yeah, I mean, that's all I got for you guys is nothing. What's that audio clip where it's like, oh my God, it's like, God, there's an audio that would just like be perfect for that where it's like, oh, a nothing sandwich or like, no, that's Gordon Ramsey. I can't envision it and it's in there so deep where it's like, and you get nothing. I don't know what's happening. Yeah. We're like chocolate wasted. Like we didn't eat, we took one sip of this wine so it's not bad. It's the espresso. It's the espresso. Literally just like hit my head

and now I'm sweating. And the odd interactions. Yeah. If this were me, I would really set the boundary of like, hey, let's meet on neutral turf and exchange goods and then go our own ways. I mean, you're together for a year and eight months, engaged after just a year, moved pretty quick. But it's clear that the relationship is not respectful, not healthy. And thank God you're learning this now. I mean, you guys are 27. A lot of maturing to do. And I think this is like dodging a bullet of like your person who you thought you were going to be with.

doesn't really respect you. No. Doesn't treat you kindly. It's time to move on. Yeah. It already hurts me when people don't introduce me to other people, even if they do it, like completely on accident. Oh, I did that too.

We talked about this. Yeah, that one time. And it already makes me feel kind of like, uh, like, like awkward. But like if I were to ask and then the person were to be like, grow up, I would be like, no, I'm a baby. No, but that's, that is. actually social etiquette. So that's something that like I'm genuinely bad at and I know it because I always go into a conversation. Sorry, I didn't need to like agree. I was just listening. No, no, no, no. It's

something I really have tried to work on because it's like, when do you, like if you're like, hey, how are you? And you reconnect and then someone else is with you. It's like, when's the appropriate time to be like, okay, before we get any further, this is my friend Lauren. Lauren, this is Doug. Like, how do you go about that? And I actually got this etiquette video of this instructor teaching children. How to make proper introductions. And I'm like, can I sign up? And there's rules to do it where you should repeat the name twice within a certain amount of time and you say every name in whatever specific order. And it's like it's different depending on genders and which you say first. And I'm like, there's actually a lot of rules and techniques for introductions. But it's like, that's the bare

minimum. Like when it's your partner, you think you would want to introduce them and be like, this is my boyfriend. Right. This is my fiance. It almost feels like, oh, you want to hide me. I just can't imagine like turning around and being like grow up. I think that's so it's again, it's just I and I do I recognize too that like this is something that I do more often than other people because I'll host happy hours. And so I will I want to make sure that everybody who doesn't know each other like it feels comfortable. So it's like become kind of ingrained in me to make sure that like when a new person enters the room that like even if somebody's in the middle of their sentence like, I'm going to interrupt in order to let this person feel comfortable because the best thing is that everybody there feels comfortable and feels known. And so even if it's like I normally wouldn't interrupt, but that's like the, well, in a situation like that. But that's the time where it to me, it makes sense to. So I realize a lot of people because like even like my partner, like it doesn't come natural to him either. Like it's just it's not something that like he normally like does on a daily basis. And like honestly too with like with how long we all were like doing stuff virtually with with COVID and everything like even more so doesn't come naturally to a lot of us. So, um, feel that. Yeah. But for someone to reach out and say please like introduce me asking so nicely. Oh my God. I that's just such a mean response back. Um, everything about this is like,

Like, there's not anything positive here. There's, the, the, the lack of respect is so loud. It's barking at them. Like, why does that happen in relationships, too? Like, where people just start losing respect for each other. I think resentment. Yeah. I think your partner doesn't wash a dish, doesn't wash a dish.

It is resentment. And resentment, you're right. And resentment builds. And you don't respect them anymore. And it's like, ooh. Yeah. Ooh. When you start feeling that, oh.

So true. That was like the book, um, that it talks about that. I know that it's John Gottman. Yeah. I know. And I remember that part of the book of where it was like that's exactly what happens. It's these little moments of resentment that build up over time. And then once you like lose the respect and the relationship, it's like it makes everything really, really hard.

Yeah. The Roach Motel, as he calls it. Top comment. And they're just quoting OPE's examples. She had a female friend stay at my house for two nights. They cuddled in bed. I spent days begging. Yeah, we can get there.

doesn't love me. This was an absolute train wreck dude. Dodged a bullet. Yeah. And I think that's another point too where it's like she had a friend over. Stayed at my house, cuddled in bed for two days. I do think like you can do those things with friends. Like if me and you were cuddled up on the couch, I think that's fine. But it's like they're in their bed and your partner is saying like, hey, it's just making me feel kind of uncomfortable. Like I don't know. You're not. You're You still have to respect your partner's feelings. Yeah. And I don't know.

Like, I don't, I feel like there's a difference between, like, hanging out with your friend and, like, and closeness and, like, just a normal friendship intimacy versus, like, they're cuddling in bed. And so I'm like, I don't know. Kind of odd. Yeah. I mean, I think that, again, it just boils down to each relationship and how each person feels because it's like, yeah, some people, like, I know, like, sisters. that will, like, cuddle before falling asleep. And it's just, that's, like, normal for them. Yeah.

And, like, so I think that if that was the only thing, then O.P. probably wouldn't really care. But there's too many things. So then it feels just like a disrespect. And I've seen some weird stories on Reddit lately with, like, sisters being naked in bed together watching movies. Like, some guy was like, my roommate and her sister were naked in my bed watching movies. And I came home. And I'm like... There's been, like, a lot of weird stories where I'm like, is that normal?

I don't, I don't know. I honestly don't. Or sisters showering together all the time. Yeah, I don't know. Like, just in like a normal, like, not a gym, not like, not at the gym, like in a house, bathtub shower set up. Yeah. I'm like, it's not even fun showering with your partner. One of you's always cold.

Yes. You're trying to share the water. Yeah. Awkwardly moving around. What happens if you drop the soap? It's not fun. I don't know because I didn't, I never had a relationship like that with like my family members growing up, but like I know some people do. So it's, I don't.

I don't really have a say on it. Kind of like. I'm gonna, maybe that's my hot take for the day. I think it's kind of weird. Yeah. But then other people think it's weird that some people have problems with nakedness?

Yeah, that people have to sexualize nakedness, which, I don't know, whatever. I know. Naked colonies are popping back up though. Well, to each their own.

Would you go to one? Maybe. Have you been a naked beach? No. That is on my list. That's my first stop. I wouldn't, I don't want bottoms, though.

I want top off only. Yeah. So, I mean, if everyone had their bottoms off, then who cares? Yeah. See, I don't think I would do that because there's, as we were talking about earlier in the episode, everything is being recorded. True. You just can't get away from it. And, like, I don't need that being shared and passed around.

No, no. Okay, friends, we're moving on to this next one. Specifically for free. for free. No chance. Okay, this next one is one of the weirder ones I think I've come across lately. And this is definitely going to be one where like determine if it's intentional or not, okay? So this is coming from Am I the Asshole? It's titled, Am I the Asshole for Shushing my girlfriend in Public?

I was driving with my girlfriend in the passenger seat a few days ago. We were stuck at a busy intersection in traffic. There was a young woman trying to be. to turn across the traffic and seemed hesitant even though there was a gap. So I waved her through. Instead of going, she slowly crept forward and kind of froze. At that point, another car was coming closer, so I waved more urgently and beeped my horn once to basically say, go now. She finally went, but really slowly, and got teaboned by the oncoming car.

Oh my God. Fuck. Nobody was seriously hurt, thankfully, but both cars pulled over. I stayed because I have a dash cam and wanted to give the footage to the cops and the other driver. While we were standing there waiting, my girlfriend suddenly said pretty loudly, quote, You did that on purpose. She started arguing with me right there in front of everyone, saying that I pressured the girl into going when it wasn't safe. I immediately shushed her because from the outside, it probably sounded like she was accusing me of intentionally causing the accident.

I didn't want the cops or drivers getting the wrong idea. The driver passing through admitted fault and was shaken up and crying, but did not accuse me of anything, and said she was a new driver. Now, my girlfriend's angry because she says I embarrassed and silenced her in public. She also brought up another incident from a few months ago where I waved someone through and there was another accident afterwards. Oh my. Okay. She claims I, quote, keep doing this to young women specifically and that it's messed up. I think that's ridiculous because I wave people through all the time, including men, and I was genuinely trying to help traffic move along. She thinks the shushing was disrespectful and controlling.

I think accusing me of intentionally causing an accident in front of strangers was way worse. Am I the asshole? I don't know if everyone's going to disagree, but like, O.P., you're pissing me off. Why? Because stop. This is probably just a personal thing, but, like, I don't like when other cars make me feel pressured for anything. Mind your business on the road. Yeah.

If I'm taking, for example, if I'm trying to take a left turn and I'm, and I don't have an arrow, I just have to like wait until there's a space. Like halfway in the intersection and you, yeah. And then there's a car behind me that that honks because there is an open space. I'm like, if I don't feel comfortable yet to zoom in front of this car, if I feel like that car is going too fast and I just don't want to have a close call, then just leave me be. Well, and also, you might have a better visual than I do. I'm closer up getting ready for my turn. You're further back. You might be able to see. But I need to be safe. I'm the car that's out there trying to make the turn. I need to be safe.

Mind your business back there. Right. Unless the light turns and I'm sitting there in the intersection. And I'm, yeah, and I'm just messing around and they know that I'm like just not paying attention. But like I think that that's why this just like makes me feel a certain way is because there's times where I have almost gone because I've felt pressured. And then it was like a little bit too late to go at that point where if I went, it would be a close call, but I have this knee-jerk reaction to do so. And then I get frustrated because I'm like, nobody should be like making you feel pressured. So even the O.P's intentions

were likely pure and that O.P.'s partner is probably maybe like jumping conclusions. But like for O.P to have an accident happen once and then continue to run. And then continue to run. people in, like the fact that he saw there was another car coming. And so then he's like, go, go, go, go, go. Like, no, at that point be like, stop, there's a car coming. You just, you literally, somebody just got an accident because you did the same thing. So maybe just put your hands down and don't do anything. Just let the person figure it out on their own. Just like, don't try. Because you keep, because your attempt of helping is not. And even if you have a good heart, just keep yourself on this one for a while. You're not a traffic guard. You're not a

traffic controller. I'm trying to think of the word for that. Like, what is it when someone's, like, out in the intersection guiding traffic? I think traffic controller is the thing. Okay. That's not your job. And then it's like, then you're like, okay, well, I'm going to stay and involve myself and give him my dash cam footage. And it's like, you literally caused the accident. You actually did cause it. And so, okay. And that's going to show up on the dash cam footage, too. You sitting there honking, why did you feel the need to involve yourself? And again, after you already caused an accident, just sit in your car. If she's going slow, maybe it slows down everything in that world a minute.

Maybe you sit there one more light cycle. Okay, two minutes. Slows things down a lot more when people get in accidents. Yeah. Just sit down. Keep your hands inside the vehicle and remain called. It is weird, though. The shushing, are you the asshole for shushing?

It depends on the shush. I honestly think that there is some shushes that are so offensive. And actually me and one of our friends were just talking about. this. Like, there's, there's a person who, like, had, that I dated that would shush me that. What? Yeah, that, like, I thought it was. In public? No, not in public. But it would be like, I don't know. Let's say I didn't know that they were doing something. Like, they'd be, like, on the phone or something. I didn't know. And I'd, like, walk into the room and start talking. And the shush was so aggressive that, like, I would, like, feel it in my bones. And I'm like, it was such an angry shush and such an

aggressive shush that I'm just like, I'm not a baby. I don't like that at all, at all. And then one of our friends had that happen. And she reached out to me because she was like, I know what you were saying now. I get what, because it feels funny to be like, oh, they shushed me and I'm like, her offended by it. Yeah. But like, it's a type of really aggressive shush that feels different. So that's, like, I don't even want to do it because it's. Do it. No, no, no. Do it. No. I don't know if I'll be able to repeat it the same way. I don't want to. It's too angry. It's that bad? Yeah, anybody who's had this happen will understand. What the hell? It's not. Come on. Why is it that bad of a shush?

I don't know, because it'll remind me of the times that it happened. I don't like it. But anyway, so I, yeah, so that's why I'm like, although I don't think Opie's partners should have been loudly saying, that in front of everybody that you did this, that should be a conversation for another time. But I do understand if O.P. did like a really aggressive one, then like I get why the partner was thrown off by that. But sometimes people are just like, shh, like don't. And it's not that big of a deal, in my opinion. Anyway, back to you. Back to you, Morgan. So top comment has been removed. by the moderator at this point, but the one after it says, seriously, I can't stand with people, ignore the rules of traffic flow to let me in when there's a whole second lane who might not

be following suit. If you have a right away, just go and stop forcing people to go on ahead of me. I think the top comment was probably making a reference to like, you should understand the rules of the roadway and quit directing people, like let people just follow the rules. Yeah. Okay, I'm glad. I thought that everyone was going to say the opposite. So I'm glad that. Yeah, someone says, you're the asshole. Stop waving people through. Two car accidents within the space of a few months is far more than the rest of us are going around causing. That's not normal. Next comment, you're the asshole. I had a car totaled by another car being waved through by some jackass just like you. It's not your job to conduct traffic. And you've already caused two accidents by doing so. You put people in such an uncomfortable situation where like now they feel pressured, like they have. to go because the panic, how he said that he started going really fast? No. Okay, I'm so glad that people agree with me. I thought it was going to be the opposite for some reason. No. Again,

you're asking the wrong question here. And maybe that's an upcoming theme where it's like, you're asking the wrong question. I like that as a thing. You're not the asshole for shushing. You're the asshole for waving people through. And I know that's not the question he asked, but yes, you are the asshole. But not for the question you're asking. Right. You're asking the wrong question. Yeah. It's going to be a theme. I do soon. I like that. Everyone's just pissed about it. Stop waving people through intersections. Thank you.

You're the asshole. Someone goes, oh my God, stop causing accidents for content for your dash cam channel. Literally. I don't even like. Think of that. Yeah. That's crazy. So yeah, major asshole.

Major asshole. Truly. I'm so happy people feel that way because, oh. I know. I'm going to see if there's any. comments from O.P. here. Oh, we do have a couple comments. Info. Do you have a dash cam channel?

Have you put the videos of these accidents online? Oh my God. O.P. goes, I do. But I've not yet put this online. Also, I don't just share things from my own dash cam on there. Oh, you are sick. He is purposefully causing these. Yeah.

I think the girlfriend's right. I think so, too. I think he's intentionally causing these accidents. Totally. How would people pick that out of this? Like, I wouldn't even, that wouldn't have crossed my head that he's got a dash cam channel. But it would make sense why he's so egregiously, like, involving himself in traffic issues. Oh, my God.

I wave people all the time. Oh, you are sick. Oh, yeah. Someone here says, not the asshole. She should have not said that and she should be embarrassed for trying to get you into trouble. Shut up. in terms of like the girlfriend. Yeah, yeah.

Oh. It was safe when you waived the driver to go. She just didn't go. And even if it wasn't, the driver would still be at fault. I don't know what she means by you keep doing this to young women. I'd be asking her because her behavior was unacceptable. Wrong. O.P. responds.

She claims she has observed me intentionally attempt to rush young women when it is not clear and that I somehow find it funny or do it to generate content. because I have a dash cam channel. And that supposedly, if it were a man or older person, I'd have waived them to stop instead. I believe her. I believe her 100%. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. There's another comment. She tries to claim that I always intentionally lure and rush women into such situations and find it funny or something. Sicko. I honestly think this person is, like, getting off by, like, even posting this here. I...

I was screaming in my car one time. Like the most, I mean, nobody was around at this point, and I'll get to the reason why. Because I was in this really, really long, long line. It was weird how the roads like forked off. And so I didn't realize that this highway like split into two and that I had to be in the right. So I'm going along on this left side and then my GPS lets me know I need to get. over and I couldn't get over for so all of the cars were so close to each other and I was trying to like find anywhere in and there was another car that was doing that too so this car finally gets a spot in

and I was thinking since this car just dealt with this they'll let me get through too they like they did the same thing as me this was a zipper merge I don't know what that means okay but so anyway I'm like I'm trying to get over and then this like it's like this truck that, I don't know, literally moot, like, like pretends to let me go in, like gives me a bunch of space, and then, like, rears into me or like pretends to rear into me, like, swerves to the left super hard. And then I had to like swerve to the left to dodge this person. And then they, I look over like, what just happened? Like, why would you do that? Like, I was so shocked. And this person and the person in the car in the seat next to him.

laughing their asses off, belly laughing so hard. And it was at the very end I couldn't get in. So I had to go in the highway that was free and drive longer. It was like a really long highway too. I was going to Coachella. And so I wasn't familiar with the roads either. So anyway, that entire long stretch that I'm just driving by myself, I was screaming because it was so unsettling that like somebody would mess with somebody in their car like that to get enjoyment, to pretend to let me. me in and then completely like ram into me when this person it's not like this person had been sitting in a long line and was pissed off this person did the same thing as me where they like I assumed accidentally didn't realize that that was where they I wasn't trying to be sneaky it was like

a split yeah two highways split and then you have a limited amount of time to get exactly and like I wasn't trying to be sneaky and like miss the lines I didn't know you can't try to get in the first chance either because then you back up traffic you kind of have to maintain your flow and then get over and that's the way of the road. But I was, so that's the thing is that this person in in front of me was trying to do the same thing, find a spot where they could get in. It was the weirdest thing. Some people don't respect cars and like cars can be weapons. Well, that's, that's, that's why I thought it was, that's why I was like screaming in my car because I just can't believe that people could think that's a funny thing. Like, to scare the shit out of me. It's weird. Like, in a car and think

that that's hilarious. Like, I'm like, you're sick. And that's what this person has reminded me of, which is why I'm like, I mean, maybe it's innocent. But like, I don't know, man. Not a good case for me right now. I'm, my personal experiences are making me not like OB. Yeah, no, I think he's an asshole. I do think he's doing it purposefully for his dash cam content channel. Sick.

And someone should report him. Like, he should actually get his license suspended for a little bit and simmer down. If you're the person that was in this accident and you're listening to this, like, you should sue him. You said that he sent you the stuff. I know. Follow up on his dash cam and let us know if you think that it's sketch. You should. Okay, moving along to this next one.

This is coming from R slash Petty Revenge titled, After being left out of multiple family trips, I went on my mom's dream vacation to Scotland. My mom is constantly taking trips with my sister, her husband, and their kids. I'm always the one they ask to watch their house and animals while they're gone. I have always felt left out of family vacations and that my mom prefers my sister over me. I recently saved up enough money to take a trip of my own. My mom has always wanted to go to Scotland.

It's like a life dream for her. I decided that I was going to take my own vacation to Scotland, and for a companion, I chose my aunt, who is my mom's least favorite sister and the only family member that supports me. My mom is constantly arguing with my aunt, probably because she's always been jealous of her lifestyle. Aunt is very wealthy. Of course, my mom begged me to take her instead, but I absolutely refused her, stating my reasons, never being included in her trips and using me as a dog slash house sitter. I made sure to send her updates of everywhere I went and sent all of my pictures to her daily. Justifiable calculated cruelty.

Yeah, I like this one. I do like it. I bet it feels good. I've just been thinking a lot, though, about how when people wrong us, we spend a lot of time wanting the other person to think a certain way or, like, be hurt because they've hurt us. And I don't know, like, lately I've just thought about the fact that, like, if we all, instead just like forgot that person existed and then went off and lived our best life and focused on what what we want to do differently like okay if we see signs of that person of a person treating us like this again how can we maneuver differently like and really focused on like

what makes us happy and like instead of like focusing on how can we hurt the person who hurt us I'm like what could humanity be we're really healed and healthy take no because I do think a lot of times, and we give so much thought to people that genuinely don't care. Yeah. Like, they don't care that they wrong us. They don't even realize that they're the problem. Right. They are just so self-deluded in their own head. You're an afterthought. Yeah. So why are you letting someone who's not going to think about what they did twice? Yeah. Thinks of you as an afterthought. Why are you letting them dictate your feelings, your life, whatever? I think I would use this as a reset. Mm-hmm. Right. You got a little bit of a petty revenge. Right. Super satisfactory. Now, move

forward and go onward. Yeah. Don't house sit. Don't dog sit. Right. They're not going to use you as this free labor and then bye. Yeah. Like, don't do it.

You also have the power to say no. Right. So choose your own destiny. Grab life by the horns. You went to Scotland. You got your petty revenge. Maybe she'll think twice going forward. Yeah.

But if not, fuck it and don't help them out. Right. Move on with your life. Yeah. Family can be chosen. Yeah. Because the only thing that makes me a little bit sad about this is like how often were you thinking about this is going to be great content in spite of, you know, my parent and then taking it in with that as the motivation. And then that kind of takes over a lot of your, like the space in your head over this amazing trip that you have.

So don't, like I hope you did enjoy the trip and didn't give it that much space. Right. Space. Like you didn't let your mom take up more space than she's worth. Yeah, exactly. you hope, you'd hope. But like that's my, that's my only concern about stuff like this is like, I wouldn't want that to be now like the, the head force. Yeah, like the headline of the trip was that like I got back at my mom. But, um, but I also think like, I mean, sometimes people do

things to kind of send a message and relationships that they still do care about. So like, maybe this is something that now maybe your mom will be like, wow, okay, now I see how it feels. Yeah. Now this will make me think. So if that's what I was saying, like I hope it gets her thinking. And she thinks about this going forward. Right. So I'm like if that's the motivation, then like, and you think that that is a possibility, then I think it's like good strategy. Yeah.

I just think that like if it's, if it's, if you're starting to think it's a person that maybe you need to distance yourself from and like maybe it's not like the healthiest dynamic, then and you want to let go of them to just really let go. But this is apparent. So I guess this is completely different. So forget everything I said. No. Stop doubting yourself, your goofball.

Top. Comment on this one, good for you. I hope you and your aunt had an epic adventure. O.P. responded, we had a blast. Thank you. Good. Next comment. And even if things improved between you and your mom, please don't forget about your aunt. She sounds like a real one. Yeah. O.P. says, she definitely is. And we've always been close. Next comment down. The best revenge is a life well lived. Someone responds to that, doesn't hurt to season the food. Rub it in. Yeah. Yeah, but did O.P. even want to go to Scotland or was this a spite vacation? Larry David would be proud. Someone goes, who wouldn't want to go to Scotland? Amazing country. Great people. Yeah, so I actually just posted an Instagram, which I want to do more often. I want to do jogging videos and post them on Instagram like once a week just to inspire me to go outside more often. There you go. And somebody commented on this one that I just. posted because I talked about how happy I am that the sun stays out until 8 p.m. And they were like, you should come to Scotland. It stays out until 11. And I have wanted to go to Scotland or Norway. Like just I'm my great grandparents, great great grandparents are from Norway and Scotland. And so I've

always wanted to see those countries and specifically during the time where it's just like light. Yeah, no, there's a lot of places like Iceland is light. for like 23 hours a day. Insane. I love it. Zara Larson, Midnight's sun, baby. Yeah.

It's because the sun is out at midnight. We were just listened to that song in the coffee shop. I love it. Yeah. I love this. A lot of positive comments that aunt is just super fun to be around. I love that. Someone goes, did you ask your mom to house sit?

And O.P. goes, no, but that would have been the ultimate revenge. I wish I had thought of it. So, this is a good one. Okay, this next one is coming from Am I the asshole titled, Am I the asshole for having our kids make a list of things my wife does that they don't like? I really didn't think when this happened that I would be posting this. My wife and I are both 39 and have a nine-year-old and a six-year-old. On Friday, my nine-year-old went to a friend's house, and when I picked him up, he was complaining that my wife still calls him baby in front of his

friends. Okay, then he said his friend's mom doesn't make them be under supervision when using the trampoline. Also, that his friend's mom doesn't make his friend wear sunscreen, supposedly. I told him that he should make a list of stuff that my wife does that bothers him. Maybe she just doesn't know that it bothers him. So he did. And since our six-year-old saw him doing it, she decided to make a list of her own. But her list was 99% things that she just doesn't like doing that has to be done anyways. The kids then gave their lists to my wife. This was not discussed with wife prior. Mistake number one, buddy.

And probably told her that I told them to do it since my wife was immediately mad at me for telling them to make a, quote, passive aggressive list. I'd be so annoyed. She actually seemed really in her feelings about it, and I told her that if she didn't take it as personal, she could actually look at the complaints and know where to change, at least for the nine-year-old. We sat there for two hours watching a show in silence,

as in she didn't want to talk to me. Wait, nowhere to change. Didn't they say they don't want to wear sunscreen? This was some time ago, but she was still kind of sore about it the following day. Am I the asshole? Yes. Yes, you are. Yes. Buddy. Yes. If my husband told my kids, make a list of the shit your mom does that you hate. I'd be like, you asshole. I birthed these little gremlins. I've raised them. I make sure they're safe. Yeah, a nine-year-old on a trampoline.

Those things snap necks all the time. Sunscreen. Like, I'm keeping you safe and you're going to then make a list about how I'm a horrible mom, that would be a dagger to the heart. There's so many things that are annoying about this. And the worst part is that O.P. is probably like, this is such hands-on parenting. I think you could have been on to something if you went with your wife and we're like, let's sit down with these kids and be like, express yourself to us. How do you feel? And then we'll hear you. We'll hear you. out and then we'll discuss the reasons why we do the things we do. And, you know, we'll have a conversation about it. Like, maybe, like, maybe that could kind of go down well. But, like,

this dude. And then, and then the confusion afterwards, like, what I do? Yeah. Oh, sir, you know, it's hurtful. Yeah. Here's the thing. And this is how I will try to tackle things in an ideal world. not a parent yet. Yeah. You know? But you hear that from people that have grown up in really happy homes with parents that just love each other, that the best thing their parents did. I'm like, I don't know what that's like.

Says with venom. I'm jealous. But the best thing that their parents did was always be on each other's side, always be a team. There was never this pitting against each other. Yeah. And so as a dad, you know, when the child's coming to you and being like, Johnny's mom lets us jump on the trampoline alone and Johnny's mom doesn't make him wear sunscreen, that's where it's your job to be your wife's advocate in that moment and be like, you know, we do that to make sure you're safe. We love you. Your mom really loves you and she's just trying to make sure you're safe. Yeah. You'll realize someday what it's all about. sunscreen's important. Yeah, it's annoying to put on, but it's important. And that's your job as a parent. Right. His feelings, you know, he's entitled to his little feelings and yay for communicating them. But you also have to, like, redirect and be like, you know, that's fair that your mom does those things.

It's important. You explain to him that maybe he's lacking education. Yeah. Yeah. And maybe even just like every parent is going to parent a little bit differently. and there's, well, I don't even want to say there's nothing wrong with that because then they could end up in a situation where it's something wrong with it and they're like, there's nothing wrong with this. But didn't you hear that growing up too where it's like, well, Blanks' mom lets us stay up until midnight? Yeah.

I'm not Blank's mom. Like my mom always used that when I wanted to be like, I want to go here. I want to do this or so-and-so's mom lets them do it. And it's like, do I look like so-and-so's mom? That was probably the everyone who hung out with me at my house. That's probably the conversations that they had with their parents when they went on. Do I look like Lauren's mom? Why does Lauren's mom let us eat all this candy?

Like all that. So that's funny. What's next? What happened? Well, OP has since deleted his account. Oh, overall vote was asshole. Yeah. Big red badge at the top there.

Top comment. You're the asshole. For teaching your kids that this is good communication and for not being a team with your wife. You've just shown your kids they don't have to respect her because you don't. Ooh. He was like, delete, delete, delete. I do not need my wife to find this. Next comment. Yes, and especially when the kid was complaining about things like not wearing sunscreen. Shouldn't O.P. be backing up his wife there? Also, much better to just tell him that different families have different rules. O.P. is an asshole. Don't forget the idiot part. You're the asshole. That's not effective

parenting, nor is it teaching effective communication. You should have explained why sunscreen is important and why your wife wants them to be supervised while using the trampoline. For the baby comment, you could have coached your son in how to approach your wife to be like, hey mom, it's embarrassing when you call me baby in front of my friends. Can you please stop that? Yeah. Jesus, you're the asshole. Now have the kids make a list of everything they love about her, then send her on a weekend mom trip while you watch those kids. That's a start. Yeah. Someone goes, what the fuck? You told your kids to make a list of things they don't like about your wife instead of explaining why they need to wear sunscreen and be supervised on a trampoline? Exactly.

Someone goes, I would struggle to ever respect my man again if he took feedback from children and used it to form a strategy for my behavior change. Literally. Because that's the point too where he's like, you should just take it as feedback, babe, so you can change your behavior. That was the worst part. It's like, is this a job review? Like, no. A performance review. That's what it feels like. Yeah. Actually. That's a really good comparison. There is one comment here I see. Yeah, you're the asshole for not siding with your wife for basic parenting things like putting on sunscreen and basic supervision around a trampoline. You sided with your nine-year-old child over your wife over completely legitimate parenting things.

Yeah. And O.P. responded and it's been downvoted 671 times. I didn't say I disagreed on the sunscreen and supervision thing though. Okay. If you didn't disagree, then why didn't you just tell your kid that in the moment? Yeah, literally. Why are you letting your wife be the bad guy? Exactly. That's what I was about to say.

It's like, and that, that's an issue a lot with parenting is like the one, there's one parent who wants to be. The fun parent. The fun parent. The good guy and that like the good girl or whatever. That the kids just like, and it's, and it sucks because there needs to. be a parent, there needs to be actually both parents that care about the safety and all of that. And it really sucks when that dynamic happens. Like, and, uh, yeah, unfortunate.

So hopefully this is a lesson for OPE and everyone else who obviously being the fun parent would be fun. But it's super cool. But it's very unfair. Oh, dude, I already know I'm not going to be the fun parent. You guys are both going to be a united front though. There's no problem there. Yeah. Like there's that.

I have no concerns about that. I don't. There's some relationships where I do worry about there being a fun parent and then they're being the one who has to like. Oh yeah. You definitely have to worry. Yeah. I think he'd balance it out.

Yeah. He's very on your team. When it comes to you, he's so on your team that I think he's. He'd be fine. Yeah. He might be a little slow to grasp it and just be like, yeah, that's really, yeah, good point. And then you'd look at him and be like, just kidding. Yeah.

Yeah. No, you'd be good. Okay. But I would love to hear any like parent horror stories. Like I've talked about this. I think, I feel like it's been on Patreon. But I'm definitely having baby fever. And I'm like, are you?

Yeah. Whoa. Yeah. We've talked about this a little bit, but I didn't know fever. I didn't know. Let me hear it for it. I fucking see a baby and I'm like, I want one. Really?

Kalen's baby, six months old and he's like got a little personality now and it's kind of like more conscious and aware. And I'm like, yeah, he looks fun. See, for six months? That's the thing is like, it's such a long stretch to get there. Yeah. Before I, I mean, of course I think babies are cute. But like, anytime I talk to a parent with a newborn, they're like, oh, no, it's horrible. It's definitely horrible.

And so then I'm like, you're in the trenches. Ooh, I'm like, am I ready to go through? Who knows what pregnancy is going to feel like. Is anyone ready, though? No, they always say no. But like, no, I know. I want the baby, but the birth is still really freaking me out. And I saw a TikTok today where someone was like, I asked a woman to describe birth.

And she basically said that it was like a full moon and she was the werewolf transforming. Oh. Uh-huh. And then someone went in the comments of that video and they go, I had a C-section. And it basically was like someone, I was the purse. And they were digging around to the purse looking for something. something small and tiny. And I go, what the fuck do I do with both of those?

I don't. What do I do with either of those things? Gonna be honest. Kind of like the werewolf one. Don't love the purse. No, it's horrifying. And then someone underneath it shared. And I know how that feels.

I hate it. No. But then someone underneath shared a picture of a taxidermied squirrel purse. And they go, this is what I felt like. And I'm like, you guys are making this horrible. So why is it? Where did the squirrel come from? I don't know, but I need positive affirmations about positive bursts and hypno-breathing.

And I want fun, chaotic parenting stories. I need a full explanation on the squirrel. I'll find it again for you. Bring that back up. I'll find it. Yeah. It was a squirrel purse. And she said she felt like that.

She felt like a squirrel. She felt like the squirrel purse. A squirrel. That's just adding a level that I don't understand. This was the picture. This was the picture she shared. She said, I felt like this. It's a squirrel that's a purse.

I don't like that. I don't like it at all. I hate it. Absolutely hate it. But then it's so funny because then like after they, they convince you for me, like after like people like make me, they see that I'm terrified, then they're like, oh, but it's the best thing in the entire world. And I'm like, you're just saying that too. Am I supposed to believe you? You don't suffer alone. I know. I know. I know. I'm like, oh, I think it's going to be next year. But then everyone got me freaked out about the year of the ram. They're like, you don't want a baby in the

year of the ram. Oh, don't buy into that stuff. It's very important sometimes. What is it? Why don't they want a year of the rent? They're a passive follower of a person. Allegedly. Am I a fucking ram? Did I get born in the ram year? Sometimes I wish I was a little bit more, less passive.

You're a rooster. Oh, I knew that, actually. Water rooster. I do like water. What is the rooster, though? I'm a wood dog if you just wanted to know. Water roosters are the most intellectual. intellectual, compassionate, and adaptable of all the roosters, blending the sign's natural sharp focus

with the fluidity of the water element. They are charismatic communicators who excel at rallying people together without coming across as demanding or rigid. I'll take it. Seems pretty positive to me. Adaptable, intuitive, compassionate, sociable, exceptional communicators, intellectual and curious. Very curious. I literally can't go to bed these days with. searching a million things. I like that. Wood dogs. I'm like,

you got me over here, curious. The working memory, though. Like, I, like, I, like, the amount of things that I research and then I, like, either forget or I don't know how to re-explain it. But, like, I am constantly asking questions and researching things. Like, that is just, you're very curious.

Yeah, very curious. Would dogs, cooperative, team-focused, highly ethical, strong moral compass, can't stand unfairness. Can't stand unfairness is actually like one of my core traits. It comes up in every personality test. Yeah. I thought it was just the autism. But maybe it's the wood dog. Maybe it's the wood dog. Yeah. Generous and warm, practical, resilient. You are very resilient. I'm a scrappy motherfucker. You are so scrappy. Okay. So let me know about the year of the ram and if I should have a baby next year because yeah. Yeah. It's been a consideration. I actually let's scare her.

Let's do a poll. Let's scare her so that we're going to have a baby next year. Let's scare her so that it's so that it's two years from now because then maybe I will be more ready and then we could have our babies around the same time. It's so fun to be friends. That would be ideal, honestly. What is next year? Next year is 2027. So the following year would be 2028.

It's the year of the monkey. Earth monkey. That does sound really good. That does sound pretty cool. Does anyone else like? The last Airbender avatar. I love Little Egg. Did you watch the live version?

No. Oh, it's so good. And there's a new one coming out. I started rewatching the first one. It's just so good. Love it. You love it. I'm going to be honest.

Earth monkey sounds sick. It does. Intelligence, versatility, adaptability. Yeah. People born with these years are typically witty, curious, inventive problem solvers. That's the one. Fuck. Earth Monkey, man.

Okay. So when does that put me? March, add nine months. Okay. Okay. I can do an Earth Monkey. Okay. Cool.

But you got to be, you got to hustle then. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Snap, snap, get mentally prepared. What's the last day? Like, what's my cutoff? What's my deadline? Um, Earth Monkey begins January 26th, ends February 12th.

12th, 2029. Oh, okay. We can make that happen. We got this. Okay, let's lighten this up at the end of the episode here, shall we? Let's light. Let's lighten this up. So this is coming from, am I overreacting, titled, Am I Overreacting? My 32 female, husband, 34 male, farted on my mom. Not overreacting. My mother has been chronically depressed since I was six years old, and I started using humor early on to cheer her up. As a result, our relationship is marked by utter silliness. I always aim to make her laugh, especially via slapstick, which she loves. I've been with my husband for about four years. My mom and him aren't very close, mostly because we live a few hours from her and don't get to see her very often. They also don't FaceTime or call unless necessary.

Over time, he's understood our mother-daughter dynamic. He always hears me goofing about with her and recognizes her as a kind, warm woman. He also knows about her depression. However, when we visited her this past weekend, my husband did the unfathomable. Things were going fine initially. We were exchanging jokes and the overall vibe was warm. But while returning from the bathroom, about an hour in, my husband literally bent over her side of the couch and ripped a monstrous fart in her direction. He chuckled and walked away like it was a genius move. Oh, so we did it on purpose. Oh.

I could not believe it. I kid you not. My mom literally had a look of horror like when she heard that her chinchilla. had to be put down. When he realized his fart bit didn't land, he apologized profusely, but that didn't fix anything because the rest of the visit was excruciatingly awkward and quiet, interspersed with reality TV sounds. I knew my mom's depression was biasing her towards thinking the fart was malicious. Unfortunately, I was so shocked that I couldn't spit out an excuse on his behalf right then. On his end, he was completely checked out. When my husband and I got back in the car, I went

berserk on him, pressing him on why he thought it was okay to fart on my sad mother. He explained that he thought she enjoyed that type of humor. I had to explain that their relationship was not like our 32-year-old mother-daughter relationship, and that he did not have free license, to fart on my mother. Additionally, throughout my life, I have done all sorts of slapstick comedy, but never that. I called her after we got home.

As expected, she thought he had farted out of hatred, but was okay after I explained everything. I am taking distance from husband for the next couple of days as I wrap my head around this incident. I am still pretty upset. He said he's taking some time to reflect and has been sympathetic towards my needing space. Huh.

Edit, the fart was dealt about a foot away from her face for those who are wondering. Oh, my God. I was about to say, like, I feel like they're kind of blowing this out of proportion. Like, it's just a fart, and, like, it was accidental. He thought he was trying to be funny. But then to know that he literally walked up to where she was on the couch and farted a foot from her face. Like, I know it's a rumor, but, like, don't give it. me pink guy. I don't, you just came out of the bathroom. Did you just, did you forget to shit while

you were in there? I don't understand because like, I do understand people thinking farts are funny. I mean, they are funny. Um, but like, but like, unless you really know the person and know that they'll think it's funny, then that is a risky move. Yeah. What? I, okay, so I will say, One of my favorite, favorite TikTok channels to watch is this guy that goes around New York City. Oh, it pretends to fart. Yeah. It's hilarious. I actually think his farts are real.

I don't think so. I think his farts are real. Who can fart like that? I think he eats a lot of dairy. I genuinely think his farts are real. I eat a lot of dairy. It sounds too real to be a fart machine. And the way people react where they start plugging their nose, I think his farts might be real.

And maybe I'm, I know I'm gullible. But like, like. like I don't know but I love the fart like awkward interactions I just love how you pause out of that I love the fart but I love the fart

I just find farts funny just and the episode right there not when I do them not my farts I'm scared about them I'm embarrassed by them no farts are hilarious

in the right context he could have done something funny not farted in her face but if he just like walked in the living room and like toot it and they go oops to go back in there. I don't know.

Like, he just came out of the bathroom. Like, maybe he had some unfinished business, but to go up to someone and fart in their face. In their face. But, okay, I will say, though, that to take space for a few days is, like, feels very... For manipulative, mean? I don't even know how I'd say it's manipulative because I think that it sounds like O.P. is genuinely, like, needs some space.

Yeah. Not like a I'm going to, because if it was manipulative, like it might be more of, uh, less of a conversation and just like a ghosting, you know. But O.P. like communicated and O.P.'s partner understood. So like I think because that was there, clearly O.P. actually wanted the space in like a communicative, healthy type of way. But I, they, they recognize they're wrong. They apologize. they were trying to mimic you. Like they were trying to be... He wanted to be a part of the club. He wanted to be like you. He wanted to fit in with your family.

I have a hard time with fart shaming. Just kidding. No, I actually do get so pissed in an inappropriate fart. Like, I'm like... Really? You have a farter, don't you? I'm like, how...

I don't have one. How? How do you think... No. Like, I... Yeah, I don't have one. I've had to have a few conversations. Oh, my gosh.

Yeah. Damn. He's lighting it up. So I do understand being offended by a fart, like an inappropriate fart, like I get that feeling. But at the same time, like, he explained where he was coming from. Exactly. Let's give him a little more grace here. Top comment, quote, pressing him on why he thought it was okay to fart on my sad mother is an amazing sentence. I know, I know. I'm so glad. Why do you think it was okay to fart on my sad mother?

Next comment. Also, quote... I'm going to write a book with that being the title. Why do you think it was okay to fart on my sad mother? Yeah. It has a ring to it. Yeah. Next comment.

Also, quote, She thought he had farted out of hatred. Can you imagine thinking someone literally just farted on you because they hate you? Yes. What are you going through? What happens to you? I'll just end it there. I can't imagine that.

Oh, my God. No, I'm just being dramatic. The concept of farting out of hatred. Yeah, I'm hoping O.P. doesn't update. Just so it will make it to bore you, and I can use this as my flare. Let's see. No update from O.P. yet. Seemingly a pretty real Reddit account, though, almost a year old.

A part of some streaks and various subreddits. but yeah are you overreacting hmm no one's giving not overreacting or overreacting they're all just responding

to the funniness of it someone goes crazy that he still had a massive fart in the barrel when returning from the toilet that's what I'm saying that's what I was saying yeah that's what you were saying

you're trying to take credit no like I didn't mean it like that I just meant like totally. Yeah. But it's like, do you have some unfinished business? Like, you know when you, at least this is something my mom said to me, like I'd be just tooting all over or my dad would say it all the time too. Yeah.

I'd just be ripping it and he goes, do you have to go to the bathroom? Like I was your parents over super teen. Yeah. Do you have to go to the bathroom? Yeah. It's like kind of like a cue like, hey. Maybe you need to do it all over at seven years old. And you're like, no, you notice?

Yeah. someone goes, he said he was sorry and feels bad. It's up to you to either accept his apology or not. The bigger issues that you seem to feel responsible for your mom's emotions. That isn't healthy for you or her. I hope she's getting real help. And that you get help for your codependency and enabling. A lot of people then agree to that and keep trimming in.

Please update on how his reflection goes and what he learned. Why he thought is okay to fart on my sad mother. Oh my fucking God, I cannot. I'm laughing so hard at this. Let it go. Someone responds, he did. That's the problem. Knee slapper.

Here we go. You're overreacting. He misjudged the situation and surely he has learned his lesson. Honest, forgivable mistake. I feel like that's my gut too. I do feel like taking multiple days, multiple days. I know. Not just an evening.

I love you. I just, I need to reflect on this. I just want some alone time tonight. Multiple days. You're going to divorce over your husband farting on your mom? On your sad mom. On your sad mom? You're in front of a judge.

Ma'am, why would you like to get divorced? You know, irreconcilable differences. He farted on my sad mother. Yeah. Hey, people have divorced over less, I'm sure. That's true. But does he deserve the D? I don't know.

He seems remorseful. No, I don't think he deserves the D. No. We're overdue for a give him the D. We haven't said that in a long time. Give them the D. Yeah. That reminds me back in the day, though, when people were like, you guys just

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've always jumped to divorce. Yeah, you guys don't know. And we're like, yeah, we don't. We didn't come here on this podcast to know things. Okay. They give mics to anyone, you know. You just go online and you buy it.

You don't have to fill out an application. It's not like adopting a dog. Yeah. They just let you have them. If you think that we're stupid. We are. No, no, no, no. If you think that we're stupid because we come in on here and we talk about stupid topics,

you're stupid because you came to a podcast that talks about stupid topics and you thought that we were going to be here being smart. You're stupid. We're not stupid. I like that. Okay. Thank you. We're capitalizing on our dumb moments.

And you're over here calling us stupid. for talking about stupid topics. Don't come to a stupid topic podcast and try to get smart. Thank you. If you get smarter from this podcast, that's a win, but don't expect to. Yeah. What's that saying? What's that one saying?

It's like, don't, don't, don't come to a gun show with a knife. What's that saying? Yeah, yeah. Don't come to a sword fight? No. Don't come to a sword. with a knife. Wait.

See, this is what we're talking about. It's like bringing a knife to a gunfight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. So it's like, yes.

I literally... Don't come here expecting something you're not going to get. I'm not a psychologist. I didn't listen to this episode, but I was looking at the comments. No. I was laughing so hard. I know what one. I know exactly what one.

I couldn't sleep with myself. I need to go find that. Please. on some of the timestamp. I was crying, laughing at that comment. I said, well, it was Sarah Sherman. And I don't even think she gave me a funny look. I think she was so nice about it. But I was like, I wouldn't be able to sleep with myself. Clearly. But apparently the one husband from the first story thinks masturbation is cheating, so maybe I could sleep with myself. Yeah. My point is, is that we are smart because we kept

lies off of our dumbisms. We're smart girls with dumbisms. We're like dumbisms isn't like we need something really good. No? Like we need something really good. Like what? It's not coming to me. It's not coming to me. But there's like another like idiot. There's something there. There's something there. Okay. It's like a blonde moment, but not like it's, there's going to be a word that we create. Okay. We need to have something that we create for our silliness, our goofy moments, our lapse in brainpower, that we can get into Webster. Okay. So let's all think about that. That's going to be a team effort from all the little hotties out there. Um, but yeah, so anyway, that's, I mean, that's, that's my statement that I'm going to, I'm going to leave for you guys.

I like that. I also really, I think it's over, you know, it's overdue that we have like a really resounding. team name. You know, we've, we've joked about it over the years. And is it the hotties? Like, what are we feeling? Are you a hottie? I think the hotties is a cute. Are you a hottie?

Are you a hottie? Are you a hottie? Oh my God, you're making me flush. What are you? A hottie? Or is it something else? A toddy. Well, I'm like, it can't be the takers. We're the takers.

It could be. What are you taking? When, where and how? We're taking. Never mind. I don't know. I could get real sexual. Oh.

The hotties. I didn't even think of it that way. You're a taker. You could. I think my toe is out. I feel like it's a song. It's not like an, or are you on a grande song?

Like, I'm a give, I'm a taker. Maybe not. Maybe. Well, let's circle back on that. Yeah. Let's circle back on that. I hope this email finds you well. And then circle back.

Yes. What episode was that? That was a good one, too. Let's circle back. Thank you all. So, so much for being here. This was a fun one. Had you in the first half, right? At espresso shot. I think we have to go over there and like rip an espresso shot before every episode. That was a good, a good twist. Okay. I'll consider it. I get a little jittery though. So you did great. Well, sometimes it hit me okay this time, but sometimes it can get a little weird. And then I'm just like stressed out. I'm like, eh.

I really like that. But we will be continuing this. theme over on Patreon. I have so many tabs for this theme. I really like this one. And just all these stories, like I really found this good one about a secret and this husband that kept a 10-year secret from his wife, but it is like the whole reason they ended up together. And I'm like, ooh, I really like it. I was like the coffee bean one. Coffee. Don't remember when the guy for like 10 years was lying to his wife about the coffee? No, this one's, it's a dozy. It's really good. It's on the two-out-takes sub-reddit. Doesn't doozzy mean like a, no, dozy? Just like, goofy, confusing, crazy. Oh. It's a doozy. Okay. I thought it meant like a fail. Yeah. No, no. But we'll be

finishing it out over on Patreon. So come on over. And other than that, until next time. Until next time. Bye.