Two Hot Takes - 30: Tough Love or Bad Parenting?

Episode Date: August 26, 2021

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Amy! Morgan had to take advantage of visiting family in Minnesota, and so this special episode was filmed with her SIL Amy.  Stories are related to parenting topics including postpartum depression, childbirth, and overall parenting... (good, bad, & tough love).  As always your support is very appreciated: https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes Direct Inquiries: [e-mail]

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Here we go. Are you ready? Yes, I'm ready. So today I'm joined by a very special guest, my sister-in-law, Amy. Amy is a PA here in Minnesota and mostly Wisconsin, but... Yes.

I'm coming at her with stories related to parenting, postpartum depression, and just... Okay. Is it tough love or parenting? Okay. You know what? A lot of times I have no idea. Are all parents winging it?

Yes, 100%. I was at swim lessons the other day and my daughter wouldn't get in the pool. And I literally turned to the parent next to me and I was like, I don't know what to do. Do I make her? Do I just sit here? Do I be like, okay, today's not a great day.

Let's go. Nobody knows. I don't know. And she turned to me and she's like, I don't know. Everyone's just winging it. Everyone's just winging it. We'll see what your takes are on these parents and if they're winging it or absolutely fucking it up.

Okay. Okay, let's dive in. Let's do it. So up first, this post kind of blew up on Reddit. The number of awards it has is absolutely baffling. So am I the asshole for saying things my wife gives our infant in front of our child's doctor? This is right up your alley.

Yeah, it is. Okay. My wife and I have a two month old daughter. For the past month, she's been feeding our baby mashed potatoes applesauce, sweet pea, assorted fruit juices. Wait, how old? Two months old. Okay.

And other things. The last time we went to the doctor, our pediatrician told us not to give her anything but formula until she was between four to six months old. Yeah. Sorry. My wife does not care and says she knows best for our child and our doctor isn't the parent.

Our daughter is always constipated and screams for hours at night that my wife says is colic. I've asked her numerous times to stop feeding our infant table food and go back to giving her formula. She is only feeding her one or two bottles of formula while I'm at work. The other morning she was cooking scrambled eggs and oatmeal and I was off work.

So I started to make our daughter a bottle and feed her and she stopped me and told me not to fill her up with that and she wanted her to eat her oatmeal first. I fed her the bottle anyways after a huge argument. Well, baby had a doctor's appointment and my wife was talking about the colic and screaming fits. And when the doctor asked what she was feeding her, she said only formula, nothing else.

I was angry because she lied and told her the pediatrician every single thing that she has been giving her and the doctor strongly recommended her to stop and that she was causing stomach upset and more than likely the reason for all her stomach issues. Instead of being apologetic for this, my wife is mad at me and told me I ratted her out to the doctor and that she doesn't have to listen to her and that it's only a recommendation and

that I made her look like a bad parent. I tell her what a selfish little twat she was being and now she wants me to go stay with my parents until she forgives me and asks me to come home. Am I the asshole here? I maybe I shouldn't have flew mad at her and said some of the things I did. Maybe I should apologize to my wife.

Hmm. Oh my gosh, this is really hard, but my gut instinct here is like, no, don't do it. Don't give the baby all these foods. Food before one is mostly for fun. Yeah. Mostly for fun. Well, and that's the infant led we need.

That was like their main quote when I learned about that. Yeah. It's like you start introducing foods at like what, like four to six months. So I really push for the six month mark. Okay. I think formula or breast milk exclusively personally until six months.

There are parents that choose to start around the four month mark. And I also have heard different cultures, different people, you know, a lot of times our parents or people just do what their parents did. And if their parents started solids earlier, then that's kind of what they lean to. But the science has changed through the years.

And so as the science has changed and we learn more, their recommendations changed. So I can't fault her 100% because maybe this is what her grandma did and her mom did. And, you know, we all are like looking to our parents for advice because I mean, nobody knows. Yeah. Right.

What's going on. But I also wouldn't say that he was the asshole. I say 100% actually, no, not the asshole. Not the asshole. I agree. He is also this child's parent. And if he clearly has concerns, then that really should be brought up and he should voice his concerns to say, okay, what

is the current recommendations? What should we be doing? And yeah, I just, I don't think he's. Couldn't this cause like potentially like some long term stomach issues for this kiddo to like mixing all this early because like, I know, you know, with breast milk, there's a lot of gut like microbes that they get. Well, the concern that I would have is that if you're filling

your child up with so much other stuff, you can really easily get focused on one food group or one food or just a few different foods and they're not getting the complete nutrition that they need formula breast milk. They are designed to fulfill kids's needs. And so if you're filling them up with other things, then they're not going to get like all the vitamins, the minerals that they truly need and cause some stomach upset for this

poor little kid. I mean, this poor little kid is having issues. I know. So if you're having issues, then, um, you know, you might want to do something different, but here's, here's one thing. My heart does go out a little bit to the mom because she doesn't really feel safe in that relationship that she has with her provider.

Yeah. So she doesn't feel like she can be honest and get the best recommendations because any good medical provider, we know that we are here to provide you with the current recommendations, the current knowledge, the current guidelines, and we know ultimately it is up to you to make your decisions for your health. But we can't do that if we don't know the true information.

So like, I just, you know, I encourage everybody, just be honest with your provider. That's the best advice, honestly. Also like dealing with a colicky baby. Yeah. I was so colicky, like so colicky. And the horror stories my mom tells me, why would you want to give yourself and your child more issues?

Don't you want an easy infancy and your baby sleeping through the night? Well, ultimately I have to believe that, you know, parents in general, they are truly trying to do the best for their kiddos. So I believe that that's what this mom really, truly thinks that she's doing the best for her kiddos. Yeah.

Not the best info or the best judgment. Right. She just needs a little education. And so I, you know, I actually applaud that dad. If he's like, dude, something's not right here. Like what can we do different to really bring that up? I wouldn't like, and I get, you know, it's her decision and everything, but I wouldn't trust leaving the baby completely

with her for like, if you were to get kicked out, like she wants and like go stay at his parents. Like this little one might not get enough to eat. She might, I'm just like, not like, you don't want to imply that the mom is going to do something terrible, but it's also like, she's not making the best decisions right now for her little one. Yes and no.

Again, I truly think that she probably has the best of intentions and really it is maybe more of a, of a knowledge gap, but I mean, she's not going to get that opportunity to learn what actually, like why, what's the why behind, okay, maybe, maybe your grandma did it this way, but here's why we don't really do it this way anymore. This is why, you know, formula breast milk is recommended exclusively until, you know, four to six months of age.

And then once they are four to six months of age, I mean, listeners probably aren't even curious about this, but you should start with formula and then follow with the food so that they are getting the balanced nutrition that they need. So I applaud the dad. I mean, that has to be hard when you are in a partnership. Crossing your wife, ratting her out. You know, it's worth it.

That kid would be thankful, I'm sure. Like if that soothed their stomach then and they got right on track with everything. Hopefully she listens. It doesn't sound like she's going to. I know. But, so some of the top comments on this one, not the asshole.

What your wife is doing to your daughter can cause long-term damage to her digestive system. Not giving her formula can also contribute to her losing weight and not growing. I would suggest you talk to your pediatrician away from your wife for her to get a full picture. It's abuse. And then like edit because this is the top comment.

OP, which means like original poster. Okay. I've been wondering that. Yeah. So it's the person that posted the thread. I urge you to supervise every feeding. Your daughter can choke to death having food. She's not ready for anything but milk.

This is extremely serious. And at that age? Two months. Yeah. Definitely could. Little nugget. Even rice cereal. Yep.

I know. That can do that. That multicom milk. Don't do that either. No. So Reddit pops off on this, like on this woman. Okay. And although OP was 100% correct to do what he did for his

daughter's sake, now he has to worry what his wife will do when he's not aware slash looking. And that is super difficult. Yeah. And that is true. Like I get like being set in your ways and as a parent, you want to make decisions like even me in my own life. I want autonomy.

I want to be able to make my own decisions. So I imagine as a parent, like, yeah, you're going to take people's advice, but at the end of the day, you're going to do what you want to do. Right. But to have a professional then kind of like criticize you and say, no, what you're doing is wrong. There's your opportunity to be like, okay, I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. There's your opportunity to be like, okay, I guess, you know, my parents or whatever I got this from, weren't right. I should do formula or breast milk or whatever the decision is. And that's what I would hope that that medical provider would then not criticize, not jump on the like, oh, no, that's

terrible. Oh, that's the worst thing you could do to your kid. No, no. You're like, okay. I hear that, you know, that really could be contributing. Here's the current evidence. Yeah. Really strongly suggest this.

Let's really have close follow up so we can follow together and make sure that we're giving this kid. Oh, the very best nutrition. Yeah. Another, um, another comment or goes, this is a dangerous psychological malady called munchausen by proxy where mothers cause medical problems for their children. They often kill the children and definitely torture them.

Oh, geez. And so a lot of like Reddit, like if you don't read a lot, like Reddit is like very quick to be like, okay, ABCDD. Yeah. Like they, they always like jump, people jump to conclusions. Like we do, we give our takes. Like that's the whole podcast, but, and here I like to believe the best in people.

And so certainly, I mean, I guess it could be a possibility vote. I feel like she would be more sneaky about hiding it. True. If that was the case. Yeah. So I don't think that's really going on. I just don't even know with her.

Like I just can't imagine continuously to do something after you're told it's probably causing your baby's colic. But someone replies to that and goes, this is what I was thinking about too. His wife is knowingly feeding their baby things that will be causing her illness and upset. And then she is lying to the doctor about it and playing dumb. What if OP said nothing and baby was prescribed a medication

they didn't actually require? What next? Just read his comments. I hope she gets help. She needs right now. Things aren't sounding good at all. So now I'm curious about OP's comments. Yes.

What happened? We're going to do a little digging. Okay. Just going to get this out there. There's no update for this post. So we don't know what officially happened. No. And it was posted.

I need to know the baby's okay. Yeah. And it was posted about four months ago. So. Okay. Just going to read the. If you've ever had to deal with a plumbing problem, you may have felt the pain of realizing you don't know any plumbers.

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New comments, like the most recent. So someone comments and they go, not the asshole. Is this normal for her? I ask just in case of some postpartum issues. This seems quite odd behavior. Your child is going to be vitamin deprived. Baby will have potential damage to body. You need to protect your baby.

And OP goes, no. She seems very off. I've asked her several times if she's okay and she says she is fine. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and she's wide awake, sitting up in the bed, staring at the wall. Then when I ask if she's okay, she just says yes and lays back down. I get up with our daughter as well, but my wife is always awake. I assume she sleeps during the day while I'm at work.

Definitely could be some postpartum going on. Yeah, absolutely. And a lot of times when women are currently like in the thick of it. Yeah. They don't actually recognize that they're experiencing some postpartum depression. And it's really a spectrum. You know, it could be mild, it could be moderate, it could be severe, it could be psychosis. Yeah.

So that's scary. It is. I really feel for that mom then. As far as all the hormone changes that go on in the body, that's really what's going on. I'd really hope that she would get the help that she needs. But as a father, like you absolutely 100%, then have to make sure that you're making sure your kid is safe.

Yeah. And then, so someone replies, oh wow, that's really scary. She needs to see a doctor of her own. Do not leave the baby alone with her right now. If she has a postpartum disorder, it isn't her fault, but it is her and your responsibility. Both she and the baby need help and you're the only one who can help. OP replies,

New development with her. I found her sitting in the bathroom floor and I told her I'm planning on packing to go to my mom's. Told her I was taking the baby with me and she freaked out and said, I was going to cause her to die because she needs the baby to be with her. I asked her if she would go see a doctor in the next few days while the baby and I are visiting my parents. I told her I wouldn't tell them that we had a fight

and that after she talks to someone and realizes what she is doing, then we will come home. She started saying crazy things that my parents will try and take custody of the baby or if she tells the doctor her thoughts, they will take the baby and that she can't be honest. She loves the baby so much and is afraid they will take her away. What do I do aside from taking my daughter to my mother's? See, that is, yeah, she is 100% that has postpartum depression.

You know, yeah, very severely. Because, yeah, she truly does have that fear and that love for that child, but at the same time, she doesn't know how to help herself. So I would say he needs to, yep, deliver that baby to his parents where that baby is safe and he needs to be with his wife and support his wife 100% and bring her physically to the doctor and then not to the doctor, then to the ER. Yeah, you can do a psych-hold from the ER.

Yeah. Which, like, it's very, as like a medical scribe, I used to be in the room when the psych-holds were brought in and we took down all their history and everything and for some, it's very traumatic, but then for some, it's very like... You don't have that responsibility anymore. The weight is taken off. Well, and here's part of the thing, like, after you have the baby,

everybody is all about the baby, which is wonderful. You love your baby, grandma loves the baby, the husband loves... Everybody loves the baby. But then you forget that this mom has kind of been through this traumatic event. Yeah. Hormones are all over the place. And especially, I think in first... I don't know if they mentioned that this is their first child,

but it sounds like it probably is. It sounds like it is. First baby, she's lost her sense of freedom, her sense of identity. She's gone from this single female who has all this freedom to, okay, now I'm a mother and I have to be here 100% of the time, or maybe she tried... We don't know if she tried breastfeeding, if that was part of the plan or not.

And if she's now formula feeding now, does she feel some feelings about that? That's a good point, because if she tried breastfeeding and couldn't produce milk or it just didn't work with her and the baby latching, she could be having a lot of guilt about that and that's why she's trying to push the food. I mean, it's so complex. Such a complex situation.

There's so many factors that could be causing this for her. Yeah. So, I feel for both of them, I think it's tough. So tough. Yeah, we never really heard her why and why she's pushing the food. No, and I guess we should fill everyone in. You have two kiddos. I do, yes.

So Amy is like, she's been through this, she's got experienced parenting. I've got to fill everyone in. Yeah, I have a two-year-old and a four-year-old, and gosh, parenting is a wild ride. Yeah, it is definitely a wild ride. Do you want to share any of your postpartum experience? Don't feel like you need to.

You're welcome to. If not, we'll move along. So, I mean, there are so many avenues that we could take to talk about it. I know. It's very complex. I like to be open because I think that it's not really talked about enough on an open, shame-free, guilt-free platform. Kind of what I was talking about with OP, that was a little bit my experience of,

okay, first baby comes along, well, first, while you're pregnant, I don't know about anybody else, but I didn't love being pregnant, but I've always had, like, body issues. Like, so many women have growing up in, you know, this Western culture. Yeah. I feel that. I feel that. But when you're pregnant, everybody's like, oh, my God, you're glowing.

You're beautiful. Can I feel your belly? It's so beautiful. You look so great. Oh, my God. And I'm like, heck, yes. Absolutely. I do look fantastic.

I love this belly. You know, I do look wonderful in these maternity clothes. Hey, it's a great reason to wear a tight, you know, maxi dress and not have to suck in. Absolutely. Like, hey, the first time my extra weight was cool. Yeah. You know? So then you deliver the baby.

The baby comes home with you. And your body is 100% completely different. So you still look pregnant after you deliver the baby. And you go then from having the freedom to go wherever you want to, okay, this is what we need to do now. And at the same breath. And so for me, it was really important for me that I really wanted to breastfeed my mother, breastfed all of her kids, my sister did.

I know the wonderful benefits of breastfeeding. And so I really, really wanted to provide that for my kids. And it did not come easy. Latch was difficult. Milk production was difficult. Baby was losing weight. We'd go in for like weekly weight checks with the lactation consultant. It's a lot of stress on a new mom.

So much stress. I would pump and I would feed and then I would bottle feed. And it was like this continuous thing. All while your nipples are cracking, bleeding, like it hurts. They're swollen. Your body is like basically screaming like, oh my God, what did we get ourselves into? What is this? Yeah.

And it's hard. It's really hard. And I put a lot of pressure on myself because it was really important to me. And I really wanted to have the good part of breastfeeding, which the beautiful part of the bonding and just feeling like I was doing the best I could for my baby. We also supplemented with formula. The formula is 100% A-O-K in my book. It's a wonderful option for those who choose it.

And so there was a lot of stress with that. But then also I watched my husband, who is wonderful, your brother. He still had his freedom, especially while I was breastfeeding. Like even if I left, well, your boobs were tied to the baby. They were tied to the baby. Or at least pumping. Yes. We still had to go ahead and do that.

And so while he could go and do whatever he pleased and wanted and come and go and still have some of his evenings out for a couple hours with his friends, I couldn't do that anymore. And I was just like, I know, they have it so easy. They do. Most days. I'm not passionate about this topic at all, am I? So anyway, yeah. So I at the time didn't realize that I was experiencing, I think, looking back some

mild to moderate postpartum depression, because it was just all about, okay, what is the next task? What do I have to accomplish? Here we go. What does the baby need? And especially in the beginning, I had, I started having some intrusive thoughts of like things that I never, like my brain was like, oh my God, where did that come from? This is terrible.

This is like, you know, I never doubted my safety around me and my child, but I recognize like, oh, what in the world is that? But I was so scared, like that mom said, what if they take my baby away from me? Like just having this terrible thought. What if they, you know, what if they think I'm crazy? You know, what if all the scary things, right? Well, in postpartum, like, I feel like when you had your first born, postpartum has really just kind of become a topic that is not so taboo.

And so when you had your first born, like, it wasn't really talked about. No. Even you being a healthcare provider at that time, too, it just still wasn't really out there. And what it is, like, it's not just crying and feeling depressed. It's sometimes those weird thoughts that you just don't even know where they came from. And so I held it in and I didn't talk about it and I made it through. And because I knew that I was safe, I like consciously knew, okay, you know, I was in

my ultimate moderate stage where I could identify, I know that I'm safe. And so I just made it through and then looking back was able to identify it and be like, ooh, that was actually postpartum depression right there. And I, it didn't have to be so bad. And then I started talking to my girlfriends about it and they were like, oh, yeah, I had that too. I had that experience too. So many women.

Yeah. And we don't talk about it. And we don't talk about it. Go through this. It's so, yeah. I just listened to those of you out there, if you're kind of dealing with this or feeling kind of like an identity crisis being a mom and things like that. I just listened to the most amazing NPR podcast.

NPR puts on this other show called Life Kit and they have an episode geared specifically towards like this whole thing of like being a mom, shifting friend groups and like having people that you can still find support with postpartum and all of that. So I'll definitely post a link on the YouTube and as well as some other resources. I love that. Thank you, Morgan. Yeah. And you know, if you are a new mom, something I learned in the Life Kit episode was that

like PMADS, the perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, you can't officially diagnose those until after about three weeks because it's like at that time there's still such an influx and the hormone imbalance still. So if you are a new mom and struggling, just know. Absolutely. You're not. There is help. It doesn't have to be so hard.

It doesn't. It doesn't have to be so hard. No. And dads can be affected as well. I think that was like an interesting thing I've learned recently is that fathers can be affected by postpartum depression as well. I'm sure. It's something that's, I mean, there's sympathetic pregnancies.

Yeah. So why not? Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. So I'll make sure that some resources get posted, but just know you are not alone and there's some great communities out there if you do need some help. Okay.

The first quitting was key. I kept on trying. Learn something each time. Do whatever it takes. No matter how many times it takes. We did it. So can you. For free and confidential help, call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit waytoquit.org developed by CDC.

Shifting gears. Okay. Am I the asshole for refusing to babysit my niece? Well, you would be. I'm just kidding. So long story short, I 29 female was engaged to my sister's now husband. A month before the wedding, I walked in on my sister, 33 female, Lily and Mike, 33 male, having sex on my bed.

No. Oh, not the asshole then. I dumped him on the spot. Good for her. After doing some digging, I found out that they had been having an affair for six months and that my sister was two months pregnant with his baby. No. Most of our family had cut out Lily.

But after her daughter, Emily was born, she was accepted back into the family. This is mostly because Emily was the first grandchild, first great grandchild and first niece. Well, and of course not the baby's fault. Not the baby's fault. Ooh. Lily and Mike also got married not long after Emily. Six was born. Even though Lily has been accepted back into the family, I don't speak to her or Mike or Emily.

I want nothing to do with them. I know Emily is innocent in all this, but being around her and seeing her just reminds me of all the pain I felt when I found out about Lily and Mike. Our parents have tried to get me to forgive and forget, but I just can't. So now the issue. My parents usually babysit Emily for my sister when she works or when she runs errands. Lily loves to drop off Emily unannounced. Last week, she apparently had an emergency at work and came to drop off Emily, but our parents weren't home. They had gone out with some friends and would not be back until the next day.

When I told her this, she begged and asked if I could just watch Emily since I wasn't working that day. I flat out told her, no. She kept bugging saying it's just for a few hours and that she was my niece. I told her again, no. She then said, okay, and I just walked away. A few minutes later, I heard her car pull off and the doorbell ring. When I opened the door, I saw Emily, my niece standing there. When I asked her about her mom, she said, mommy said you will look after me.

I brought her inside and called Lily and told her that if she didn't come back for her child, I would be calling the police and telling them that someone abandoned their child at my doorstep. Good for her. After some back and forth, she came back and picked Emily up. The next day when my parents came home, they were furious at me for what I did. They went off on how I should have already gotten over my hate for Lily and her family already and grow up and about how I almost cost Lily her job. I tried telling them that I've gotten over it, but I simply don't want anything to do with Lily and her family. They kept going on and on until I just walked away. I've been getting calls and messages from Lily's friends calling me an asshole and some other names.

I spoke to my other sibling and some friends about this and I have been getting conflicting opinions. Some say I was justified in how I reacted while others say I acted like an asshole and could have just watched the kid for a few hours. I need some outsider's perspectives on all of this. Am I the asshole? No, no, absolutely not. No, and that's the overall vote. And as a mother, would you want to leave your kid with anybody who did not want to watch them? Come on.

I mean, come on. She's clearly set a boundary. You fucked up. This is the bridge you burned and the problem you created. This is her boundary. Good for her for setting that boundary. Boundaries are hard to set. They're hard to stick to, so 100% not the asshole.

Not at all. It was her sister? Her sister. Her sister. Her sister. Cheated. For six months. For six months.

And then got pregnant. And it's not like they called off the wedding. It was a month before the wedding that she walked in on them. What would have happened if she wouldn't have walked in? She was already two months pregnant. Dang. Like what? How would have this have played out if she wouldn't have walked in?

Right. She probably wanted her to walk in because it was in her bed. Oh. You know, sometimes though, I think at that point people just get so confident like Superman syndrome. No one's going to find out. No one will know. Who's going to know? Who's going to know?

Who's going to know? Yeah. So that's terrible. Absolutely terrible. I feel really bad for that little kid. I know. I feel really terrible for that kid. I know.

Parents should not be telling her how to feel. They need to respect that. No, that's terrible. And you don't. Okay. Family. Right. I think that you and Matt's family is a perfect wonderful example of like, yeah,

sometimes families are blood, but sometimes family is not blood. And it's family is who you choose. And it's A-okay. If you have a toxic family member to be like, nope, this is my life. Yeah. And you're not welcome in it. Yeah. I completely agree.

Overall vote was not the asshole. Top comment, not the asshole. You said no and the child was abandoned. You even called to warn your sister to collect her child, which was more communication than you were provided. Someone else goes, no is a complete sentence. If someone goes true, but if she feels the need to elaborate in her response to the flying monkeys, I would go with, I will not babysit my cheating ex's child.

It's a good one. Yeah. And it's a good line. Flying monkeys on like, like the narcissistic parents threads or like just no mother in law and people that are kind of like having these group of enablers behind them, they like to call them the flying monkeys. Oh, like Wizard of Oz kind of tribute a little bit. The enablers.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like the thing too. It's like, yeah, this is your sister and like your niece, but this was also the man you planned on spending your life with. And that's the direct. What a betrayal.

Yeah. That's the direct, you know, result product of that betrayal and affair. So I don't think I'd be babysitting. No. Won't be me. No. Won't be me. Easy.

Easy. Easy decision on that one. Yeah. Up next. Why am I the asshole for calling my baby's mother petty for not letting me be in the delivery room? Ooh. Okay.

My ex and I were engaged, but broke it off early into her pregnancy. We had a lot of issues, but our breakup was precipitated by her catching me sexting people behind her back and a couple of flings. Overall. And a couple of flings. Okay. You know, I'm just going to nonchalantly throw that out there. Just a couple of flings while my, you know, you know, while you're carrying my baby and

having joint pains and swollen ankles and just some casual flings. Okay. Overall, we have kept it amicable through her pregnancy, but I definitely wouldn't call us friends. I called to check on her since she is due within the next month and asked what the plan was for delivery. I guess I assumed I would be in the delivery room when the baby is being born. She told me due to COVID precautions, she's only allowed one person with her while she's

in the hospital and she's going to have her best friend with her and that I can meet the baby once she gets home. I got angry and told her it was petty and vindictive to not allow me in the room to witness our child's birth. She snapped back and told me she needs someone who brings her comfort and she can be vulnerable with and that's not me. Am I the asshole for calling her petty to be in this situation? Yes.

Yeah. Yes. Asshole. For sure. Asshole. Without a doubt. Asshole. Labor is so personal and so challenging and so, I don't even have the words really to

describe it. No. So individualized. Yeah. And I think I've traumatized everyone in like an earlier episode that I'm clearly very scared of carrying a child, giving birth, all of the above. So I've really scarred people with the fact that you can break ribs, you can lose teeth, your bladder, is your bladder the same?

TMI? Oh. You know, honestly, mostly. But pelvic floor therapy, you know, it's a good thing. Everybody, it's a good thing. Yeah. So, childbirth is, it can be traumatic, it can be traumatic. And so, when you're in the thick of it too, I mean, into the thick of it, I mean sometimes

I wanted my midwife of a nurse who was, well, she was a nurse who was going to school to be a midwife. She was amazing. I know. I was a girl I went to high school with, I think. Yeah. She was amazing. But she knew all the like, okay, do this position.

Let's try this. Like, she was so supportive and you needed that person. That's who you need. That's the vibe. That's the vibe. You need, and for me, Matt was, I only wanted Matt in the room as well. Because he was my person. You know, you just want the person that's going to give you the most support.

Because... Not a cheating ex. No. Oh my God. No. I'd be like, get that out of here. Get the fuck away from me. Yeah.

So, overall vote was asshole. Okay. You were spot on. Top comment. You're the asshole. Giving birth is an incredibly difficult process. So, she has the right to focus on her comfort first. Really?

I'm surprised. She's even offering to let you see the child. Right. I know many women that if, while they were pregnant, their partner cheated on them, and the father wouldn't see anything but a court date for child support, you should be grateful. She is being as civil as she is. That comment got 37,000 upvotes.

Wow. Yeah. Well, 110%. Especially COVID is a real thing. So, there were those restrictions. There are those restrictions in some places still. And everybody's just trying to keep everybody safe. And so, it's not her fault she can only have one person.

So, if you're in the most terrible pain of your life, do you watch her cheating? X there? Like, so, OP does have an edit. He goes, edit to add, since these have been questions in the comments, yeah, I cheated on her. Yes, some of it was before she was pregnant. She broke it off because she caught me sexting while we were laying in bed one night and then found all the other stuff.

We ended on the note. We would try to be friends for the baby. We were going to try to go to counseling and see if we could fix things and work it out for the baby. But then she caught me in a lie. Not cheating again, but related a line to try to minimize her hurt due to what I'd done. And she cut me off completely, other than giving me updates after each appointment and inviting me to a 3D ultrasound.

It's been entirely her choice not to be friends. Her best friend hasn't even been around for her pregnancy. She's been traveling for work. She's only coming back now to help with labor and recovery, then leaving again. Last part of why I feel it's pettiness motivating her choices is because she's using COVID as the reason to keep my family from meeting the baby. She told me she thinks only my parents should meet her until she gets a little bit older and wants them to wear masks.

But she's still working as a nurse, getting exposed to COVID daily. So how is it really that much of a concern to her? I feel like it's about control over the baby. She is so responsible. Way to go OP. No, not OP, but baby mama. Baby mama. Way to go baby mama.

Seriously. Absolutely. She sounds amazingly responsible. A little baddie being a nurse. Yes. Eight months still grinding as a nurse. Heck yes. And you know, there's something about this emotional trust and this emotional connection

that your best friend doesn't have to be in the same town, city, country, whatever for you guys to still have that emotional trust and connection and that trust and that her best friend is flying in for her delivery. I mean that, that speaks volumes. The fact she's flying in and staying for like almost labor and recovery, like that's a lot of time for this other person to take off work to be there to support her friend. Obviously they're close. They've got a bond.

Not petty. Not petty at all. Like, and this guy's just a pathological liar it sounds like. Oh, caught me in another lie. Get real buddy. You did this to yourself. This is on you. 100%.

100%. Yeah. The comments just rip him to shreds. Rip him to shreds and rightfully so. Basically just being like, she's a poor thing, like has to co-parent with this dude for the next 18 years. And that's nothing too that I really think is like, when you have a partner that's not a partner or as shit like this, don't try to make it work for the kid's sake.

The kids end up suffering. The kids pick up on this stuff and witness this stuff. Yep. They're smart. They're intuitive. They're so intuitive. And then that's the relationship example they grew up seeing as well. So like, it's not worth it.

Someone goes, $5 says he ditches the kid within a year. He's already proven he can't handle commitment. Oh, burn. That one's bad. It's so bad. Oh. Well, I hope that he kind of like, learned from all those comments. Yeah.

Maybe took some time for some self reflection, some growth, maybe a little meditation. Yeah. Lord knows he needs all of that. Yeah. I agree. But he needs to grow up real fast. He's got a baby coming. Yeah.

The thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking. I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays, and lighters. I started exercising instead of smoking. Staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key. I kept on trying, learned something each time. Do whatever it takes. No matter how many times it takes. We did it.

So can you. For free and confidential help, call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit waytoquit.org developed by CDC. So we can get a little more into the bad parenting or tough love. Okay. Am I the asshole for refusing to let my stepson return home without punishment after he ruined my daughter's book collection? My biological 12-year-old daughter, Susan, likes to collect and read old children's books. She's become an incredible reader.

She had problems with reading and learning before, and we were advised to encourage her to read and ever since she started reading, her skills have improved. She also reads to her two-year-old sister every night. So sweet. I love this child already. I have a 16-year-old stepson, Levi, who can be a hothead sometimes. We don't have a son-dad relationship, but I respect him and he respects me, though he can act quite mean and selfish towards me and his sisters.

He'd throw away stuff that belongs to us over small arguments and teases Susan for spending a lot of time reading and calling her a grandma. My wife and I discussed his behavior and had conversations and agreed on punishment, but Levi'd go to his dad's place whenever he causes troubles, then have his dad yell at me for wanting to discuss a suitable punishment. Then Levi comes home days later expecting me to let go of what he did every time. It's frustrating. I got a call at work from Susan saying Levi took her entire book collection and threw

them in the pool. That's so sad. After she refused to lend him and his friends her camera for his trip, my wife helped get them out, but they were wet and some were torn. It was horrific because some of those books are hard to get and meant a lot to Susan as a part of her life. I was so mad at Levi, I came home to have a conversation with my wife to decide on a punishment, but he already packed a small bag and went to his dad's.

I asked my wife how could she let him basically run after doing this and she said he'd called his dad and he came to pick him up after Susan said that I was coming home to deal with the problem. I went to his dad's house and he refused to let me see him. I told him how Levi was hiding from consequences and his dad tried to justify why Levi was acting out by blaming me for how me and Susan treat him. He even said he'd get CPS involved if I ever tried to punish him because I'm not his dad. I have no right.

Adding what Levi did was a reaction to my daughter being mean to him. He told me to leave because Levi won't come home till I promise not to do anything about what he did and put it in writing. I told him Levi should stay there with him then. He's not to come back till he gets proper punishment. His dad argued it's his mom house too and called my wife and she asked to let this go and we'll figure out some way to resolve it, but I don't think it's fair to Susan to have her books ruined and Levi get away with it.

They're asking me to let it go, but this will only encourage Levi to do worse if I don't deal with it now. It's been two weeks and my in-laws say I was out of line for banning Levi from coming home and are telling me to step back, but I refused. Parenting is so hard. And then co-parenting. Fuck this kid. 16.

I know. This, I mean, oh geez. He can drive a car at 16. Like that was wrong. Absolutely. He knows it. Fucking prick. 100% like he's being a terrorist like this because he's gotten away with it so many times.

Yeah. Oh, he said it right at the beginning. He does this shit and destroys stuff when he doesn't get his way. And then runs. And then runs. It's a pattern. So hard. And it seems like all the parents, well maybe not the step parent, but the mom and the dad

are a little bit enabling. Oh my God. I really honestly feel like the responsibility needs to fall on the mom. Yeah. It's not, it's got to be a joint effort, but it's also like the dad said, it isn't really the stepdad's place. Right. The mom to lay down the hammer.

And it feels like she's not. No. And you know what? Okay. Which then undermines the stepdad. I'm sure that the 16-year-old kid has gone through a lot too. We don't know his background, but his parents are separated. Divorce can be really hard.

Divorce can be really tough. His brain is still growing. He doesn't, his body's changing, puberty, all that stuff. Shit. And, and that can be really hard. So you got to think about that too. Right? Yeah.

He definitely needs a little bit more direction from his biological mom and dad. And they need to try to figure out a way where they can be on the same page, co-parent a little bit better. Stepdad, that's a super hard place to be in because that's his daughter. You know? He's like, yeah, it wasn't right. And they have another child together, which right sounds like Levi isn't the best to that little one either.

So that's super hard to watch. I think. I don't know what, like at what step of the game he came into this family or this relationship. But I'm also really about like natural consequences and natural repercussions and like instead of like a, like, oh, stepdad's coming home to punish you. You know? Okay. Well, you know what?

Maybe let's think about what would happen in the real world if you destroyed someone else's property and you're going to need to pay for the replacement of that and somehow make it up to that little one. Whether it's, you know, getting a job, which probably the six-year-old could benefit from. I don't know. I would agree with that. Yeah. Well, it's like this poor little one.

It's like she's only 12 and it sounds like a lot of these books had a lot of sentimental value. Right. And for her, like having someone purposefully destroy your stuff or hurt you by damaging something of yours, it's got wrenching. Yeah. Especially if it means so much to you at that age. Yeah.

So top comment on this one. People really. Yeah. What did everybody else say? So not the asshole at all. Which I agree. Like, yeah. This dude sounds so rational.

Like he does. He was coming home to have a conversation about punishment. Right. Whether that's grounding, not letting him go on a trip. Yeah. He sounded like he was being very rational. Absolutely. The son absolutely blew it out of proportion to his father.

Yeah. He's just, yeah. Anyway. He's un-pampered and he's milking the system of running to his dad's. So the top comment. Not the asshole. If your wife refuses to punish her son, then you need to divorce her or at the very least move into a separate house with Susan and your youngest daughter until Levi is out of

the house for good. If your stepson continues to get away with hurting Susan with no consequence, Susan is going to suffer greatly. This is the hill to die on. And they add, to everyone telling me that divorce is a crazy suggestion and is an overreaction, I would like to point out my suggestion specified that he should do this if his wife refuses to punish her son. I'm not saying that he shouldn't try to convince his wife first.

I'm saying that if she continues to go along with her ex-husband and refuses to punish her son, when her son does horrible things to his daughter, then OP needs to separate his daughters from the stepson. If OP does manage to get his wife on the side, then no, obviously he shouldn't divorce her. You got to absolutely protect your child, no matter what, because also if he's disrespecting her property so much, are there other things that he's not respecting, you got to be just kind of on the lookout for that stuff. The comment after that goes, agree 100%, this is a hill to die on.

Not just for the daughter, but also Levi. He needs not only the consequences of his action, but intervention from a trained professional. Which that's true, like he might need some therapy, maybe he's lashing out for a reason. This isn't normal behavior. We all need therapy from time to time, especially this kid. Everyone can benefit from therapy. For real. For real.

For real. Let's remove that stigma. Everyone. Big therapy plug-ers here. Big therapy plug-ers. I like it. Yeah. So someone else goes, I'd start with selling everything he has at your house and using

the money to start replacing her books. Okay. Fair punishment, like get a job and pay to replace the books, or you're going to lose some of your things that you value, because you wanted to sabotage her. I feel like that's a natural consequence. I like it. Yeah. So comments really popped off on this.

Or like file a claim and small claims court for the value of the books. Keep it up with everything he destroys. When his bio dad is on the hook for paying for all his destructive behavior, he'll change his tune. Maybe. Maybe not. But that then creates a lot of inner family co-parenting drama. Sure does.

It's really... I don't know if we have to involve the courts thus far, but I mean, you can leave it in your back pocket. Yeah. I'll leave. I definitely need some consequences. Either way. He needs some consequences.

He needs some therapy. Therapy. He's still a minor. His brain is growing. Yeah. But he needs some direction. So I 100%, he has, he needs to take responsibility, but his parents need to help him take responsibility. Yeah.

The mom needs to get on board. I think it's... That's where it lies. Yeah. Definitely. I think being a step parent would be very, very difficult. It's not your kids. There could be some resentment there.

I know I went through that with my step parents I had. There was no telling me anything, and the way they treated me wasn't good, so it was very reciprocal. So yeah, it's very tough. It's a fine line you're walking as a step parent, and that's why the mom needs to get it together. Yeah. As a step parent, I feel like you got to be that positive influence.

You need to be that... You need to a little bit be more of a friend, I kind of think. A stern ally, but also like... Right. A stern ally? Like, there's that mutual respect, I was like, yeah. Not the asshole. Fine line to walk.

Not the asshole. No. Not the asshole. Tough love, I'd say. Not bad parents' aim. There you go. Okay. Next one.

The last one for us. Hey. What's wrong? I just got passed over for that big promotion. They told me I needed a graduate degree. Then you should do what I did, and check out the University of Northern Colorado. Who? The University of Northern Colorado.

Their graduate school and extended campus offer over 100 flexible, career-focused graduate programs online and in person. Really? The University of Northern Colorado? Really? The graduate school and extended campus at the University of Northern Colorado. Am I the asshole for telling my wife to bring my youngest daughter with her? I have two daughters, Elise, 15, and Addy for.

Addy is also my wife's daughter, and Elise is from a previous relationship. Elise used to only visit every other weekend, but two years ago, her mom died and she moved in with us. Since then, my wife has taken Elise out once a week to get lunch, dinner, and shop or get their nails done or go to the beach, as well as taking Elise out for ice cream or hot cocoa after her therapy sessions. My wife takes Addy out, but not as much as Elise, and when they go out, it's usually just to the park, then for ice cream or to the zoo.

They're planning an overnight trip to a beach town a few hours away for Elise's birthday, and Addy is upset that she doesn't get to go, so I told my wife to bring Addy with her. My wife said Addy wouldn't like most of the stuff they do together, and even if she did, all of her attention would be on Addy and making sure she doesn't run off or get hurt. I told my wife that Addy is upset about not getting to go with them and she needs to make it fair, but she snapped and said that Addy gets the majority of her attention every day and that this is making it fair to Elise. She left and is refusing to talk about this again, so I wanted to know if I was the asshole.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Four-year-old doesn't get to come with. Four-year-old is like a little baby. She's not going to know the difference after they are in such different places in their lives and it sounds like the mom, the stepmom, new mom, is really trying very hard to have a nice special relationship with his daughter. Yeah, she's bonding. She has picked up such a tragic experience losing your mom at this young age.

I have anxiety about my parents passing an imagine, so I cannot even imagine going through this trauma. This stepmom is kicking it up to level 110. She's on fucking X-games mode trying to make up for this little girl's loss. This is a dream step parent. She's being fantastic, devoting personal time, making her feel important, making her feel like family. Yeah.

Not like the four-year-old doesn't get to come. No. And for the dad to kind of miss this, like, buddy, it's you. I don't know why. And like, here's your opportunity to spend time with your four-year-old daughter and have a fun bonding weekend. Yep. Here's your opportunity.

Get it together. Like, make it, oh, no, this is time for mommy and Elise. Like, we're going to have a fun weekend too. Just wait. Yeah. It's a daddy and daughter date also. Yeah. It is a mommy and, well, not really anymore, but stepmom and daughter, stepdaughter, date,

birthday date, whatever, but you can, you can play it up and you can make it, like, positive for that four-year-old girl too. I kind of am like, dude, do you just need the week, are you trying to get the weekend by yourself? Yeah. Like, that's a little selfish there. Yeah. This post is, like, now deleted, but I do have some of the comments screenshoted.

Okay. So top comment, you're the asshole. Overall vote on this was asshole. Yes. No doubt. Like, easy there. Bad parenting here. Right.

Bad parenting. So you're the asshole. Good Lord. Your wife has been a great stepmom to your teenage daughter who just lost her mom. Small kids get upset about not being able to do the same things as their older siblings do. That's normal. You, as a parent, have to deal with her disappointment.

This is normal. It's a part of being a parent. You now have a gift, the chance to spend time with your little girl one-on-one. Make it a daddy-daughter weekend. Yes. Like you said. Build stuff. Put, put a putter in her hands, whatever.

The weekend Addy has now is up to you. Can you make it fun for her? And the top comment is, maybe he just doesn't want to babysit, right? So it's not babysitting if it's your kid. Thank you. So as someone points out in the comments, as per OP replies here, and they linked it, but I just have a screenshot. They usually go while Addy's in daycare or summer camp or close to her bedtime.

So it's pretty difficult for me to do anything with her when they go out. Well sounds like he is due for some one-on-one time with that little four-year-old. Yeah. I tell you what. Four-year-olds, the world revolves around them. That's normal. Like, how do you have a special birthday weekend if you're with someone where the world revolves around them?

And that's like, she's sad. Like she's got to worry about her not getting hurt, her running away, her getting kidnapped. Like, four-year-olds are little, like, they're little terrorists, like they are just in their own little world. They want everything their way. Like, a nanny, a four-year-old, and a five-year-old, and a three-year-old, and like they all grew, and it's just like, it was chaos. Right.

And like this little girl needs a fun weekend all on her own. And my daughter's four, it's so fun to join her in her little world, but I tell you what, that's what we're doing. We are joining her in her world. In her world. Yes. And in her comments, things my four-year-old has been jealous of today, that the 18-month-old is on antibiotics, that the 18-month-old got a pedilite freeze, that the cat gets to sleep

on the TV stand, that daddy gets to go to work, and that people who got flooded in the last few weeks get to have lakes in their yards. What did Eloise say to you, like, earlier tonight, like, oh, be quiet, don't talk, because I want to sing. You literally, she was trying. For everybody. She was trying to put on her Elsa show, and me talking was ruining her vibe. It was ruining it, so Auntie Morgan, just please be quiet, because I need to sing.

I ruined the vibe, for sure. Oh, dear. Yeah, someone goes like, basically, where are you in all of this? You haven't mentioned any attention or time you spend with your kids. In any case, you're the asshole. And someone replies, he hasn't mentioned it, probably because he doesn't. He probably, like, all of the parenting responsibility is probably on the wife, the step-mom, the mother.

So in his eyes, he's like, what the fuck am I supposed to do for a weekend? You got to take the four-year-old. Right. I can't handle this. And if he does it, it's going to be the best weekend ever. I mean, play Legos. Do something you like to do. It's so easy.

Yeah. Yeah. They're just scared. There's a lot of comments, just basically tearing him apart, just basically being like, it sounds like this perspective is coming from him, and he really has no idea what's truly going on in their day-to-day. Yeah. Like, it sounds like he's very uninvolved is what a lot of the commenters are picking

up on. Like, someone goes, did you notice Addy getting more attention than Elise at home? I mean, from a practical purpose, adults tend to pay more attention to younger kids. And teenagers tend to not want to spend time with their parents. I don't know that anyone is asshole here, but I do wonder how aware you are of the dynamic inside your home. Yeah? Parents don't tend to pay more attention to their younger kids.

Younger kids demand that their parents pay more attention to them. True. So, yeah, someone else goes, they quote him saying, quote, my wife says, and they go, is an odd way to put it. Do you think she's lying? Oh. And it's also like everything, his perspective, like my wife says, it's like, well, where, where is your involvement in all of this?

Exactly. Do you go to work, come home and then your hands off? You good? After that? Like, right? Yeah. Well, it seems like he hit the lottery with his now current wife, seriously. And he needs to be thankful for that.

And there's a little bit of opportunity for growth. Yeah. Here's your chance, buddy. Here's your chance. That's a nice way of saying you've been fucking it up. Truly. So bad parenting there. Step it up.

Yeah. Parenting is, it should be 50-50. And like, I saw like a post and I, we talked about it a little bit on our wholesome episode, the one with the stay-at-home mom where like the husband is like, oh, stay-at-home mom, like, no, everything, everything is on you. That's what a stay-at-home mom does. But the mom was being like, no, she gets nine to five. And then after five, it is split 50-50.

I really liked that. I loved that take. Mom's perspective. Yeah. Absolutely. That's how it should be. Like, I see something, I saw something else on Reddit too, and it was talking about this story about this mom working.

Yeah. The mom and the husband both work. They're full-time workers. But then when the mom comes home, the mom is still expected to take care of the kid the whole night. And the dad was very hands-off. And it's like, so she's working two jobs? Yep.

Like, how's that? Super common. How's that fair? And have it all. But then that means that you just do it all, and everybody needs to come into the current times and really think about how you're splitting it 50-50. So there's this card game on Amazon that I've heard about where it goes through and lists all of kind of the responsibilities for day-to-day life.

But not just like taking out the trash, doing the dishes, doing the laundry, caring for the kids, but also the mental tasks that a lot of women take on as far as falling on the house manager, like, okay, keeping track of kids, dentist appointments, and doctor's appointments, and paying the daycare, and figuring out, okay, if this kid is sick, then what's going to happen? Who stays home? The logistics of their life. So on and so on.

Yeah. So dividing up all those tasks, and you get a card deck, and then you can compare, okay, is it split 50-50, or does one person have like this big stack, and this other person have this little stack where you can maybe then decide, okay, let's reassign some of these responsibilities. I love that. To make it a little more fair, so both people feel balanced. Yeah.

I love that. Do you remember what it's called? I don't know. But I am assigned it lately. We'll find it, and I'll post the link. I kind of want to order that, like, that sounds... It's cool. A lot of people even preparing for their kids coming, so they can think about it, and be

conscious about it, and be like, okay, this naturally a lot of the times, and as a type 8 person, I like it done this way. I have a hard time letting go of things, so it's not always... Right? It's not always your partner's fault. Maybe it's sometimes a little bit of shared responsibility that like, okay, I like the clothes folded this way, and you're not allowed to fold them any other way, or stack them in the drawer any other way than this way.

So maybe there's a little bit of give and take, so that both of your plates feel balanced. So I don't know, I'll have to look up the name of that card game. I love this though. I recently learned, like, I have so much to say on this, because this in itself could be a whole other item. I know, sure. It absolutely could. So I just learned about this term though, like, weaponized incompetence, that...

I love our male listeners out there, but in like, a lot of traditional households where the mom, wife, or however that looks in your household, the caregiver, has all of these tasks. Even grocery shopping. Right. And then where they'll ask their spouse to do it, and they'll go do it, but they need their hand held. They call from the store.

Oh, is this ketchup? They get back from the store. They got the wrong stuff, despite having a list. And so there's this term I recently learned, and I really want to dive in and learn more about, but weaponized incompetence, where they'll do it on purpose so that you're not asked to do it again. Yes. What?

Yes. That's terrible. But again, the Plug NPR and the Life Kit podcast, they have a great episode about like, a relationship contract, a love contract. And it's this amazing contract where you kind of like analyze, kind of like the card game did. Okay. Where are you on this?

How would you like to be on this? What responsibilities could I take from you? Are you happy with our balance? What are your goals financially? What are your goals relationship-wise for us? And you kind of do this periodically every six months, maybe once a month. And you kind of reevaluate your relationship. And it's like, they did it on the episode, like her, the producer and her partner did

it. And it was so great. And I'm like, okay, I want to do this, but I'm like, this card game sounds like the same thing. And it's guided. I love it. It sounds so nice. You know, I envision it with some wine.

Oh yeah. Okay. You have to have a glass or two of wine before I think you dive into this game. Yes. Luba up a little bit. There you go. As we like to call it. We have some bedroom accessories ready for afterwards.

You can make up. I don't know. Yeah, you might have to plan this and be strategic, especially if you get heated, got to have a good way to recover. Right. But yeah, nowadays, whether you're a stay at home mom or you're a working mom, I think then you come home from whatever you've been doing all day. And if it just continues without that equal balance from your partner, it can be really

exhausting. Working 16, maybe 18 hour days. And I'm sure that there are men that are doing this as well. Absolutely. There's a lot of stay at home dads nowadays, which is good. Absolutely. I love it. You know, to each their own, do what makes you happy.

Yeah. At the end of the day, that's what we're all about here. Happiness. Yeah. Well, thank you for joining me. This has been so much fun. I know. It's so good.

I have a feeling everyone's going to like your calm, rational, educated, right? Responses. So we'll see. No, this was, this was good. So thank you. You're welcome. Cheers. Cheers.

Well, you guys, that's all I have on this episode of Two Hot Takes. Make sure you tune into the YouTube and check this out because Amy's reactions on a lot of these stories were priceless, they were great. But until next time. Bye guys. Bye. Woo hoo. Hey, what's wrong?

I just got passed over for that big promotion. They told me I needed a graduate degree. Then you should do what I did and check out the University of Northern Colorado. Who? The University of Northern Colorado, their graduate school and extended campus offer over 100 flexible, career-focused graduate programs online and in person. Really? The University of Northern Colorado?

Really? The graduate school and extended campus at the University of Northern Colorado. The thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking. I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays and lighters. I started exercising instead of smoking. Staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key. I kept on trying, learned something each time. Do whatever it takes.

No matter how many times it takes. We did it, so can you. For free and confidential help, call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit www.waytoquit.org developed by CDC.