Two Hot Takes - 39: Choose Your Theme: Wholesome

Episode Date: October 28, 2021

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Justin. This is a wholesome episode choice for the choose your own theme. Hopefully it lightens your mood for this spooky October we've had. MERCH IS HERE!!!! www.fanjoy.co/collections/twohottakes Get 20% off + free shipping with the code THT20 at manscaped.com !! As always your support is very appreciated: https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes Direct Inquiries: [e-mail]

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I'm your host, Morgan. I'm Justin. So we recorded another like paranormal scary stories episode and I felt bad kind of excluding people that aren't into the scary stories and have been ignoring them for October and so I figured we would make this week a choose your own adventure. If you want the scary, you can make the scary and if you don't want the scary, we're coming at you with another wholesome episode. My kind of stories.

Yeah. Wholesome 2.0. I love it. Yeah. So they're very cute. So let's do it. Okay. Up first, my girlfriend, 30 female overheard my 35 male family talking badly about her.

Not so wholesome. Trust the process. Trust the process. Last week, I went to my parents' house for dinner. We get together as a family a few times a month. It's been a tradition with us for years now. Sammy usually joins us for these dinners but had work obligations. I told my family she wouldn't be joining us that night.

Halfway through dinner, I got up to go to the bathroom and Sammy texted me that she was outside. She got off work early and came over to hang out. She would have normally walked in, which is normal, but she needed help bringing in some gifts. Sammy is leaving tomorrow for a work trip and a personal vacation to see some friends. So she won't be back until Thanksgiving. My brother and sister, twins, have their birthday next week and my girlfriend had gifts for

them. At this point, my family had no idea Sammy was there. We walked inside and headed to the kitchen and we overheard my family talking. My sister was saying that she was glad my girlfriend was gone because she couldn't stand a family night being ruined by my girlfriend being annoying. My brother and other sister agreed about how annoying and awful my girlfriend is. My dad made a comment about how they should be nice to Sammy. And my mom chimed in with, Sammy is nice and all, but I can't believe family sucks throw

away, likes how fat she is. He can do so much better. Wow. My family, even my dad agreed. And my sister piped up that I was dating down because I'm still rebounding from my last girlfriend, which was five years ago. Okay. I was floored.

My family has always been so nice to Sammy and I've never heard them talk badly about her. I've never heard my family say mean things about anyone, to be honest. Sammy walked into the kitchen and dumped the presents on the counter. She was crying and mumbled something about happy birthday and then took off out the door. My family looked shocked and a bit embarrassed. I asked my family what the fuck was wrong with them and didn't stick around for an answer. I went after Sammy.

She was in her car crying. Now Sammy is usually tough, but family is super important to her. She has no family, aside from an alcoholic dad that she doesn't have any contact with. My family was like her surrogate family and something she always wanted. She was overjoyed when my family welcomed her and invited her to family events. The presents she bought, my sister and brother were paintings she had spent hours working on. Wow.

And yes, she is fat, but I prefer thick girls always have. To me, she's gorgeous and exactly what I like. But even then, she's lost about 40 pounds since we started dating. I would love her at any weight and I'm proud of the work she's done. I have no idea what they mean about her being annoying. She comes when she's invited, usually brings baked goods or beer, she's taken my family out to dinner multiple times and is extremely generous with them. She's even become the go-to babysitter for my sister and her two kids and she helped

my brother get a job in her company. She pushed really hard to get him hired and put her professional reputation on the line. She's never asked for repayment or held it over anyone. She even does the dishes when we come over for dinner. The thing that makes this even worse is I was planning on proposing to her in the next few months. I had planned on asking my sisters to come with me to pick out her ring. Now Sammy hasn't said much about it and hasn't talked to me about this incident.

She's always wanted a family and she doesn't understand why my family doesn't like her or what she's done wrong. She said she'd talk to me more when she gets back from her trip. I don't want to lose her over this. I would take her over my family. Sammy hasn't been her usual cheerful self this week and I've caught her crying more than once since this incident. I try to comfort her but she tries to play it that she's fine.

At this point I have no idea if I even want them in my life. All of them have reached out to me with weak apologies full of justifications. I asked my mom if she had apologized to Sammy and my mom said I could pass on the apology. To be fair to them all of them do feel bad about what happened and seemed extra embarrassed about this but no one can give me exact reasons why she's annoying or how she's ruined my family nights. My dad is the only reasonable one that has offered to apologize to Sammy directly. What do I do?

I don't want to get rid of my family but Sammy matters more to me at this point. I want Sammy to know I'm fully in her corner and don't want her to feel guilty if I have to cut out my family. It's so bad. Fuck them for not apologizing directly. You can pass on my apology. It's not an apology. No, that just says you really don't care but wow.

I just can't imagine walking in on that. Yeah, it would be just gut wrenching. Yeah, I don't even really know what to say because it's just like... Well, it gets better. Right. Obviously. Right, but right now it's kind of like how? If there is no adequate apology, there is no real apology.

I don't know how it can flip and be that much better to be a wholesome story because wow. Some of that stuff is almost like it's unforgivable in the sense that even if there were a real apology and whatever, it's kind of like why? How can you even say that behind someone's back about someone and then yeah, they heard it, which you're not intending obviously, but still to have that kind of rapport between your family about someone, I don't know. I'm very curious. Yeah, and even if I was Sammy in this situation, even if they do apologize and you move past

what they said, you would still hold them at arm's length. We're always going to remember that. Yeah. Any situation thinking like, oh, okay, they got me this gift, but is it because they have to give me this gift now? It's just forever different. Yeah, I agree. I think it's a very, very gutting situation.

Well, then it sucks for the guy too because then it's like, well, you lose your family because of this, which is just shitty because it had nothing to do with you. But it does. I mean, that's his partner. That's who he's choosing. Well, right. Like the fact that that happened and they said that is completely out of his control. That's totally just happened.

And then now he's now in the middle and feeling like he's on the fence of choosing, like you have to choose then and you just got put in this horrible last situation. I think that just sucks. Yeah. Hey, what's wrong? I just got passed over for that big promotion. They told me I needed a graduate degree. I mean, you should do what I did and check out the University of Northern Colorado.

Who? The University of Northern Colorado. Their graduate school and extended campus offer over 100 flexible, career-focused graduate programs online and in person. Really? The University of Northern Colorado? Really? The graduate school and extended campus at the University of Northern Colorado.

Top comment on the original post. They need to apologize directly. I would drop them until they do that. Quote, passing on an apology from your family is adding insult to injury for your girlfriend. They don't feel bad about what they said. They feel bad because they were caught saying it and they're not in a hurry to make amends by the sounds of it. That's weird.

Remember, you can pick your friends and girlfriends, but you can't pick your family. For that reason, families sometimes think they can get a free pass to treat you and your friends badly because they're family. So they go edit, I went to bed and woke up to tons of replies. Thanks for all the advice and support, everyone. I've decided to take Sammy on a vacation for Thanksgiving. I'm on the phone with a very helpful guy that's trying to find me a hotel that isn't booked for that weekend.

No matter what happens, I think this is going to be a tradition I build with her for the future. A relaxing weekend to ourselves while everyone else is running around by knockoff iPads. Also, I talked to my dad briefly last night. He's pretty horrified by everything and has agreed to come over and apologize to Sammy and do it when Sammy feels up to hearing it. I've told Sammy all of this since it happened. She knows I'm choosing her over my family and that I would choose her over anyone.

And for the update. All right. A few people have messaged me for an update. So I thought I would post first, thank you all for the kind words and great ideas. It really helped me get some perspective on the situation. First off, Sammy and I had a wonderful Thanksgiving. We spent it out of town in a small skiing town. It was a great weekend and we spent a lot of time talking and discussing what to do

about my family. Sammy was still pretty hurt over the matter, but was adamant that I shouldn't cut all ties with my family. I told her that all depended on my family. My mom was in denial that I wouldn't be coming to Thanksgiving. After my last post, I let her know Sammy and I wouldn't be attending. She brushed it off until the day before Thanksgiving, when she called to make sure I was bringing pie.

I reminded her I wouldn't be at dinner and she broke down crying. She told me she was sorry for hurting Sammy and would like the chance to apologize. I let her know she'd have a chance after Thanksgiving. Good move. Yeah. After we got back from our Thanksgiving trip, my parents came over for dinner. I had okayed this with Sammy. She thought my parents deserved a chance to make this right and frankly, I think she really

wanted to mend things with my family. Dinner was awkward, to say the least. My dad started out by offering Sammy a genuine apology. He told her he was extremely embarrassed and genuinely wanted to make things up to her. They had a nice chat. The talk with my mom, well, that went okay. My mom cried through most of it and tried to reinforce that she was very sorry. I couldn't tell if she was sorry or just upset that I was taking Sammy's side.

I don't think Sammy was convinced either. A few days after dinner, my mom called Sammy and asked her to lunch to talk by themselves. Several comments in my last post mentioned that my family probably felt Sammy was annoying simply because they felt intimidated or projecting their own issues on her. I think that was spot on. Sammy went to lunch with my mom. They had a very long good talk about everything. She said my mom felt jealous that Sammy was so educated and had the chance to get an education.

Sammy admitted to being jealous that my mom has a big family. Sammy opened up to my mom about the situation with her own family and living on her own since she was a teenager. I think that hit my mom very hard because she's always been surrounded by a big loving family and I think she was horrified by her own behavior towards Sammy, who wanted to be a part of the family. Overall, I think things are better between my parents and Sammy. My younger sister reached out to Sammy after Thanksgiving.

I don't think any of my siblings expected me to ditch family dinner and I heard they were pretty upset I went on vacation instead. My sister apologized over the phone. I don't know if it was good enough, but it was a good step. Sammy says she's feeling pretty neutral about my youngest sister. She said she feels like my sister is more sorry she was caught, but Sammy appreciated the apology. My brother had to endure a very uncomfortable few weeks at work while Sammy was traveling.

I think by Thanksgiving, he was confident that Sammy wasn't going to screw with his job. When Sammy got back to work after our vacation, he went to her office to apologize. Again, I think he apologized just to appease us, but he did it in person and didn't try to cop out. Like my sister, Sammy feels neutral about him. My other sister, my brother's twin, is the only holdout. She hasn't given Sammy an apology and seems pissed that she no longer has a built-in free

babysitter. She's doubled down and said she has nothing to apologize for and Sammy is the one causing troubles. This has caused a bit of a rift in my family. My parents would like Sammy and I to come to Christmas dinner, but I'm not interested in being around my sister right now, and I'm not going to subject Sammy to that. My parents have even suggested that my sister should stay home to make us more comfortable in coming.

While I appreciate the sentiment, I would feel guilty about my sister being alone on Christmas. Her kids will be with their dad. Sammy and I have plenty of offers from friends. My sister would probably not be able to find a place to go on short notice. Sammy has told my parents she would rather not create a bigger rift and will come over at another time. Sammy told me, privately, that while she has forgiven my family, she's not all that comfortable hanging out with my family just yet.

I'm perfectly okay with this. I feel like taking some time from my family will be a good thing. Sammy and I are still deciding where to go on Christmas, probably to my best friend's house. The best part of the update? My best friend's wife went ring shopping with me. She let me go to all the chain stores and balked at the prices for the same ring in every store. She eventually took me to a local jeweler and we discussed a custom ring.

The jeweler completely understood what I wanted and I decided she would be great at designing a ring. She's pretty backed up with orders and said she'd be able to get it in January. A few nights ago, she texted me a picture of a stone she had found to see if it fit what I had in mind. Sammy saw the text and it led to an impromptu proposal. She said yes. So now I have a fiancé.

We haven't really told anyone yet. I'll tell my family at some point, but for now I'm enjoying sharing this time with her. So things are okay, better than I hoped since my last post. I'm very sad about my sister because I miss her and her kids and I miss my family. But I feel good about my decisions. I feel like things will get better with my family except my sister in time. Sammy liked the idea of a destination wedding next summer, but we haven't even started planning yet.

Sammy told me after everything that's happened with my family, she feels confident that I have her back and that she finally has me as her true family. Wow. Oh, I just want to cry. It's so cute. Sister's a little pain in the ass, huh? Yeah. Sounds like she's the youngest and has probably been spoiled a bit.

Well, it's just like, what's the point? Just apologize. Like, people just sometimes cannot get over themselves and she likes the drama. Just a bitch. Well, it's just like, come on. Yeah. How old are you? You know?

It's ridiculous. And I think the fact too that she's doubled down, it's like, okay, you don't want to apologize. Like, fine. Yeah. I think you're mad. You don't have a babysitter anymore. Fine. Yeah.

Yeah, you just take the foot out of your ass. No, you don't. You really don't. It's tough when they're attached like that though. I know. It's so annoying too because there was another update, like update number two that was posted shortly after original update, but it got removed. Oh.

I know. This was actually a story from five years ago. Oh, wow. Yeah. So. Curious where we're at now. I know. That's what I want to know.

I want to know. I'm like, what happened? But hopefully happily ever after in our book, I picked this one like just for the fact too. Like, I know it's not as wholesome as like some of the ones we've had in the past, but I think it's really, really good to see partners that stick up for their significant other. I think like that's kind of a rare occurrence on Reddit and to see someone who is like so committed to making their partner feel like validated and safe and secure. And then I actually, I didn't know they got engaged.

I only read a little bit of the update. I didn't read the original post or anything. And so the fact that they got engaged was just like an added cherry on top. Yeah. It's so cute. Yeah. It's kind of like a real life where you can still find wholesomeness within like conflict and yeah, and the real situations life puts you in, you can still find like the good and

the silver lining of that, which is cool. I'm just looking at his comments to see what it actually is better to that it wasn't the sisters with the ring and all that because it would have just been kind of like, what's the word? Like it's just good that this, it wasn't the sisters who went ring shopping with him because it would have just kind of been like, huh, whatever. Oh my God. I wouldn't have been that serious.

No, the sisters probably would have been like, are you sure? Like if that's truly how they feel about the girlfriend. Oh yeah. But I just mean like, even picking out the ring itself, not, not like telling him not to marry her, but even just going ring shopping and just being like, yeah, that one just not really caring. Yeah. Because now it was like really cool and they went to the, you know, the girl knew the local

jeweler and all that. Yeah. I think that's amazing. I actually was just looking at, like it came across my tech talk, but it was like this vintage store that buys like antique jewelry and heirloom pieces and I'm like, that's actually such a cool, sustainable way to get a ring is like going to vintage stores or antique stores and I just think that's a really, a really cool way to get one. I'm just browsing comments to see if anything else we want to read.

Someone goes, first, I'd like to say congratulations on your engagement. Second, um, they quote OP and go, my parents even suggested that my sister stay home to make us more comfortable while I appreciate the sentiment. I would feel guilty about my sister being alone on Christmas. And so this person responds, I wouldn't sounds like she could use some time to herself to think about things. That said, your current plan sounds best if your fiance isn't up to spending time with your family.

Again, there's no reason to force it. So enjoy your holiday and OP responds, honestly, my sister will be better off with my family. I'm sure there will be words and discussions about her behavior. True. I'd like to be a fly on the wall during dinner, but I am glad I get to have a drama free dinner with friends. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, I can totally agree.

I think it could be just annoying. OP responded a lot during this original post. Um, so I will be sure to post the link and you can do some creeping, but as far as additional updates, there has not been any other updates. See the thing is too, just with the, just with the siblings at first, you almost just think you walk into a conversation like that, people, younger people, I feel like a lot of times they'll say things that they don't really mean or, you know, they don't realize the weight of what they're saying, but then the parents jumping in on it.

It's a whole different, like that's, and that's just reinforcing then the sibling's behavior too. It's validating it. Yeah. So it's just like, if it were just the kids, yeah, if it were just like the siblings, that's one thing. Cause people say things they don't mean all the time and whatever, but then the parents jumping in on it, I think is the worst part.

It became so much more toxic. Yeah. Oh God, that would just sting even so much worse because it just incrementally keeps getting worse. I know. Amazing ending though. I think like, I'm sure she's had it so tough, like living on her own as a teenager and not really having us, you know, a supportive stable family.

So amazing ending. And I think like that's one thing I really want to emphasize is like, family's what you make it. Like Jerry's not my biological dad. Like we, I have so many aunts and uncles that like aren't related at all. And so it's just like, just family's what you make it. Your friends can be your kids' aunt and uncles. Yeah.

He's like my California dad. Yeah. Just pick good people in your life and you'll be set. Like just, okay, up next. This next one is again, it's just fit for Hollywood. All right. Okay. The thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking.

I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays and lighters. I started exercising instead of smoking. Growing away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key. I kept on trying, learned something each time. Do whatever it takes. No matter how many times it takes. We did it. So can you.

For free and confidential help, call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit waytokwit.org developed by CDC. My 32 male best friend asked if I would be her 30 female sperm donor for her surrogate. Here we go again. And I am in love with her, but she has no idea. Oh, wow. So for a bit of background, we met in college and have been best friends since then. We hooked up once years ago, it was a drunken exchange, and I honestly choked it up to we were both drunk and in the right place.

She got ovarian cancer that was stage three a few years back and survived and has been in remission. However, she had to have a complete hysterectomy. She had mentioned a year ago she was considering surrogacy. She had told me she planned to use a donor as she had been single for a while. Thing is, I'm in love with her, and I have been for years, but she has no idea. I know at one point she had feelings for me, but I was seeing someone then, and out of respect for my girlfriend at the time, she never acted on it.

I feel like before I give her an answer, which will be yes, I should tell her how I feel. I want to make her dream of motherhood come true, and I'm honestly touched she thinks so highly of me, she wants me to be the father. Regardless of how she feels, I will still donate, and if she doesn't still feel the same way, I will love her as my best friend. Guess I'm trying to find the best way to ask her, and I came to Reddit for advice. So how should I handle this? Yeah, that's crazy, because it's like at the moment, it's almost like when someone's

at the altar. Oh my gosh. It's like, how do you do it now? Of course now. Now it's all the drama comes out. Yeah. Well, you don't want it to think to like, oh, he's only telling me this because of what I asked of him.

Right. Even though that maybe is what pushed him to really go for it. I know. Top comment on this one. Tell her, tell her, tell her, regardless of the sperm donor. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, definitely have to. Regardless of the sperm donor decision, you have to let her know.

Good luck. I think because you're already close friends, I think there is, this one isn't hard. It's not hard to tell someone that. Yes, it's hard if someone's like engaged to someone, and you finally are like, I need to tell you this. That's hard. This one though, I mean, you've been friends for so long. Just sit down and be like, here's what I've felt for a very long time.

I know it's interesting timing, but I think just the idea of that is what pushed me to this point. And I just have to tell you. And then he's, I think it's cool that he's also mentally comfortable with the fact that she may not be interested and that he will love her as one of his best friends, which I think is so cool. That's how you show, that's how you know that it's real too. So genuine.

That's exactly like you said, that's how you know he genuinely loves her. Right. He just wants to see her happy. Yeah. And even if like worst case, she's not about it, then there's no what ifs, you know, and you still have her as a great person in your life. It's not all or nothing. Here it goes.

Otherwise, you're gone. Yeah, definitely. I know. It's so cute and happy. Okay. We need updates. Update. Update.

I appreciate all the feedback. Most of you were nice. There were a few idiots telling me I needed to be alpha and be more manly, but whatever. Anyway, the consensus with my real life friends was I needed to tell her. We do brunch on Saturdays because she does yoga Sundays. So we met up this morning. I could barely eat and she could tell something was up. She got worried thinking I was going to say no or something worse.

So by the time we took a walk, both of us were nervous wrecks. Yeah. I sat her down and told her everything. How I realized I was in love with her several years back, but was too much of a chicken shit to come clean. I told her that I never said anything because I did not want to jeopardize our friendship. Her face turned white, then a myriad of expressions came over her face. Then she started laughing till tears came down her face.

I honestly was stunned. My stomach was in my throat and I honestly thought that almost 12 years of friendship were down the toilet. Please tell me she feels the same way. Then she started crying, sobbing really, and she lightly hit my chest. She half laughed and sobbed that she was in love with me too. There we go. But she thought that it would also impede the friendship we had.

There we go. And she wanted nothing to screw up what we have. We hugged and I told her that there is no one on this earth I would want to have a child with but her. We talked for hours. In fact, I just got home. We've decided that we want to focus on us for now. I want us to be at that point that we can do it together.

I know this isn't a rom-com and that things could end up not working out first in the end. However, I'm pretty sure there is such things as soulmates. She is mine. Thank you guys and gals for giving me the courage to tell her. That's amazing. Yeah. Hell yeah.

I know it's so cute. Top comments on this one. It's an amazing feeling coming clean to someone you've been in love with for years. Took me five years to tell my now wife, congrats man. Take everything as it comes. Nothing is wrong or right from here. That's so crazy. I've never had that experience but I can only imagine.

Oh my God. Well, the comments too are insane. The next one after that one agreed I came clean to my best friend six years ago after four years in love and we have been together ever since. That'd be so hard. We are engaged and getting married in September 2019. It was such a relief to finally tell him and have the emotions reciprocated. We still talk about our journey and laugh about it and reflect on how fortunate we are

to have each other with such a solid foundation. In the end, I was more terrified of being a missed opportunity and not knowing what we could have been more than I was afraid of anything else. I'm so glad there are others out there with us. Yeah. That's crazy because you would watch them go through things in life and you'd want to be a part of certain things and you'd watch them be with other people. The only thing that I can relate to it is that once when I was, I don't know if it was

middle school or super early high school or something, but I remembered having this really big crush on this girl, like really big to the point where, and I was a super shy kid. So for me to build up the courage to then get to the point where I'm going to like actually tell someone I really like them, especially back in those days, was a big time for me. I swear within a day or two of when I was about, like I had it all planned. Oh, after this class, I'm going to be here because she's always there and I'm going to, we always catch up, we talk, whatever. And I remember, I think the day before the day of, I remember seeing, because this was

big on Facebook is whenever I'm posting relationships, it was like blah, blah, I was in a relationship with blah, blah. And I'm like. The girl you were going to ask? Yeah. Oh no. I remember this feeling of, okay, it's fine. I'm going to wait it out.

And obviously, like I never, ever, you know, I never like dated this girl, anything, whatever. But I just remember that feeling of waiting this out. And I can only imagine in adult life, knowing so passionately that you love somebody or in love with somebody and you're just waiting and waiting. Cause you know timing is so key. But then I love the fact, like thinking about then saying it and then they reciprocate and just, wow. I know.

Such a, such a happy ending. It would almost be fake. It would just feel so, I don't know. Yeah. It's kind of like when we met. I know. That was, it was crazy. But I didn't have to wait years cause I never met you and all of our friends met somehow.

I know. Minnesota's small. Everyone kind of knows everyone or like you have a lot of mutuals. And so me and Justin ran in like circle of friends that like knew each other. We've talked about it though. Yeah. Like if I had somehow, if we had just, it wouldn't have worked if you would have met me back then.

No, no, no. If we had met like we did out here, but it was more like I kind of slipped into the friend group and we just talked about how it would be. Like we'd both be watching each other go through life and we both think, or at least I think there's no way we would have not ended up together. Come on. If we were in the friend group, like our little Minnesota crew out in LA and we're always out together, always doing things, obviously we'd see each other with different people

and whatever. But I just, we would have probably drunkenly made out one night. Well, there's just too much in common. There's no way we would have, like, I don't know. It's just interesting to think about. I agree. So this was originally posted two years ago and someone, someone goes like, your turn buddy update us.

And so he updated them. Oh, wow. When? Like again, an additional, like it was in a comment on another post and he goes, well, she lost her job and started having medical issues. Meanwhile, we as usual spent all of our free time together and she just ended up moving into my place. I broached the subject of us getting married so she could get my health benefits as she

has at least two surgeries coming up. So we drove to Vegas and got married. We plan on doing things right next year and having a proper ceremony. The whole kids thing is off the table for a while until she gets better and things settle down. We are in Southern California. Neighbors. Currently.

So she can have the first of her surgeries Thursday. So that is the most current update. You wish her well. Yes. I actually went and did some sleuthing on his actual page sleuthing sleuthing. And the most recent post, um, it's, it's kind of hard with the reddit because it says like two years ago when all of this was like posted, does it say an actual date? I wonder if at the very bottom of the page, oh my God, it would take me still wondering

what was in the box. Glad this wasn't a cliffhanger like that. What was in the box? What was in it? It just literally says two years ago, which is annoying. I'm sure there's a date on here somewhere and I'm just being oblivious. But the most recent post on his page was about a wedding. Like the title of the post is wedding in the Seattle slash Tacoma area and basically just

said, we already eloped, but are looking to have a reception where she grew up and just talking about, um, advice for a wedding. Fuck yeah. That's good. I know. That's so exciting. Yeah. That's amazing.

Just creeping if there's any good comments on this one. Hopefully she's doing better. I know. And then she got a little kiddo like she always wanted. I hope all as well. I'd love to like have people that it's hard to find people that use throwaways and like even this one, it doesn't look like it's necessarily a throwaway, but the last time he posted was two years ago.

So it's like, you know, it's hard to find out what happens to a lot of these stories. And even if you do message them, that typically is an inactive account that they don't really use. Well, I mean, it's kind of, you don't want it to turn into a blog about your life. You went for advice about one particular situation. And so you're not necessarily looking to go back and update every year or something, but they should. I know.

I know. It would be good. I just messaged him. So we'll see if we get a response. We'll see how it goes. But super cute, super wholesome. It almost reminds me again of a movie. And it's the one with Jennifer Aniston and oh my God, I'm forgetting his name, but he's

hilarious. He's the guy in Ozarks. He's the main guy in Ozarks. And so they're best friends. She's single. She wants to have a baby. So she's going to have a sperm donor and he's secretly like in love with her, doesn't want to say anything.

So she has like a sperm donor party and he changes the sperm and jacks off in the cup in the bathroom. And so he's actually her kid's dad. Okay. It's just, it's called. It's a little like, obviously she didn't consent to really fucked up. Yeah. Jason Bateman is the actor.

I think I've actually seen this movie. Have you really? Yeah. Does that surprise you? The switch is what this one's called. The switch. Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman. Can I see the cover?

I actually think I've seen this one. Oh my God. Yeah. Wow. Pigs are flying. Justin watches like no movies. So if he's seen a movie, it's pretty impressive. Sadly.

Yeah. Very cute. Okay. On to the next one. On to the next. No Shave November is coming up and we can only deal with hairy balls and unmanscaped areas for so many months out of the year. So for the rest of September and October and when they're ready to shave in December, let's

make sure all of the men in our life are prepared with the best products. Manscaped is here to make sure all the guys in your lives are covered. The lawnmower 4.0 is amazing. I've given it to most of the guys in my life and so far they're loving it. I have been living in the boxers that Manscaped sent me. I wear them on my morning trips to Starbucks, grocery shopping and lounging around the house. So if you want to steal a pair for yourself and get your guy something, try out the performance package 4.0 because Manscaped threw in two free gifts in there.

And trust me, they're worth it. Make sure your man doesn't carve his pants pumpkins when he's grooming. Get 20% off plus free shipping with the code THT20 at manscaped.com. Get 20% off and free shipping with the code THT20 at manscaped.com. Make sure his balls are fresh this fall with Manscaped. My girlfriend told me she was with a friend, but that friend was with me picking out an engagement ring. How do I confront my girlfriend about her life?

Oh no. Why was she with you? Oh wait. Why wasn't she with you? Damn. We're in a good old surprise. Fuck. The thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking.

I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays and lighters. I started exercising instead of smoking. Staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key. I kept on trying. Learned something each time. Do whatever it takes. No matter how many times it takes. We did it.

So can you. For free and confidential help, call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit WayToQuit.org. God, this is a doozy. I swear my life feels like a movie right now. Sorry for the weird formatting. I'm on my mobile and this is the first time posting on a sub like this. I, 28 male, am planning on proposing to my girlfriend of three years, 26 female. Now I suck at picking out jewelry.

I'm the type of guy that doesn't see a problem with heart-shaped jewelry. Seriously, why is it considered so ugly? So every time I want to buy something for my girl, I usually consult one of our mutual friends. My girl's best friends are all friends with me as well and we all get along well. So asking them for help picking out jewelry is something I'm used to. When it came time to pick out a ring, I consulted my girlfriend's best friend, Justine. Justine and I are quite close and she knows my girlfriend better than anyone, including

me. So when my girlfriend went out to visit her sister and baby nephew, I invited Justine over to the house to help pick out a ring. Justine and I looked through a few catalogs but decided it was a dead end and it would be better to go to professionals at a jewelry store. However, I didn't know when my girlfriend would be coming home. So Justine and I thought of a clever text to gauge how much time we had. I asked her when she'd be coming home as I was ordering takeout and wanted to know when

to tell them to have the food ready by. She responded by saying it would be a few hours. She met up with Justine to go shopping. Now obviously this took me by surprise. Now obviously this took me by surprise since Justine was standing inside my house. I showed Justine the text and she looked as confused as I was. It isn't out of the ordinary for my girlfriend to meet up with people out of the blue like that for shopping, lunch, etc.

She's a very spontaneous person and loves making plans on the fly. So ordinarily, I would have believed this text in a heartbeat. However, obviously this had to be a lie. When she came home she acted completely normal and I played along but it's been really hard to act like everything's fine. We got takeout, ate together, and cuddled on the couch after. So far she's caught on a little that something's upsetting me but I just can't tell her what. Looking at her kills me, I don't know what to do.

My girlfriend and I have zero trust issues and we tell each other everything so this lie is killing me. I want to ask her about it so bad but if I tell her I know she was lying I have to explain why. Right. And I really don't want to do that. What do I do? Oh my god, that's so crazy.

I know she lied to me but I don't know how to confront it. Should I just forget it? This won't stop gnawing at me. You can't forget it. There's no way. Please help. Edit. Sorry again for the lack of response.

It's been a crazy day. My parents are moving and I've been helping them. Also, I've never experienced so many comments on a post in my life. I'm going to talk to her tonight once we've both finally settled in after such a busy day and we'll update tomorrow. So top comments on this one are just like update, update. Yeah, for sure. Another one that has like 11,000 upvotes.

I know you say you can't tell her why you know but I honestly think you should. You just don't want this to bug you forever and propose to a girl that could be potentially hiding something. You have to. Yeah. Because it's like, I know Justine wasn't with you. Yeah. Exactly.

Why was she over with you? And then you're just like, yeah, because you can't fake your way out of that one. No. So on to the update. Hi guys. Oh my God, where to begin? My last post got way more attention than I ever could have imagined. Suffice to say, it was a tad bit overwhelming.

Seriously. The amount of people begging for an update was a bit dehumanizing in a way. Like I wasn't a person going through something, but more so a story. But I understand. Haha. I just want to say thank you so, so, so much for all the support and wonderful comments. I got a lot of great advice that helped me tackle the issue head on. I also got a lot of really kind comments and messages.

It was awesome. On to the update. I decided to confront my girlfriend. I thought about using some of the lies people suggested, but they just didn't make sense. To say I ran into Justine somewhere, well, I told my girlfriend I had to stay home and do stuff around the house. And that's why I couldn't go with to see my sister-in-law. To say Justine was helping me pick out jewelry.

It doesn't make sense for her to come all the way to our house to help me pick out a piece of jewelry, unless it was a serious piece of jewelry, like an engagement ring. If I just wanted to get her a piece of jewelry as a gift, I'd ask her friends for suggestions or ask them to send me pictures of jewelry she might like. It all happens over text. None of the excuses made sense. So I decided to be honest. I basically just said, I knew we'd been thinking about marriage and she probably knew a proposal

was coming soon, so I invited Justine over to help me find her perfect ring. And that so happened to be the day that she said she was going to see her. So what's the deal? She immediately started grinning like an idiot and prodding me about proposing in the ring. But then we got back onto the topic of where she was and she confessed what she was really doing. No, she wasn't cheating, and no, she wasn't picking out a ring for me. The amount of times that was commented was crazy.

So some people are dog people and some people are cat people. Well, me, I'm a snake person. I grew up with snakes my whole life, but I never felt I was able to get one because my girlfriend has always been uneasy about living with a snake, which I completely respected. Also, the process of buying and raising a snake is very different than that of buying and raising a dog or cat. It's quite complicated. So you could imagine my surprise when my girlfriend showed me a picture of her holding the cutest

Kenyan sand boa I've ever seen. Needless to say, my girlfriend was going to surprise me with a snake. We're picking her up next week. Let me know if you want a pet tax. She's so cute. I definitely did not expect this, and I feel bad for ruining the surprise, but oh well. Life is good. Sorry if this isn't the ending you guys wanted or expected.

Just a snake. Haha. Thanks for reading. And then they included a pet tax with a little snake pic. But you can't really see the little snakey. It's just its body. We could do a snake. I'm okay without a snake.

We could have a few of them. They could free roam. I don't think so. Yeah. No. Yeah, we could call him like slimy or something. Oh, where's slimy at? Oh, maybe he's in the bedroom.

I don't know. You don't let snakes roam free around your house. I know, but you know, maybe for play time. No, no, no, no. I'm okay without a snake. I like my German Shepherd dogs. I, yes, I knew we were going into the context that this was wholesome, but. Were you a little worried?

No, I mean, regardless, it just kind of sounded just from the way he was, just from the way everything was worded, it seemed like they're too good for anything sketchy to be going on. I know. You never know, though. Like. It is true. It seems too good to be true.

Yeah. Well, and it's like, why? Like obviously she didn't know Justine was going to be with him, but it's like. Text your alibi first. Yeah. Like get your story straight. But no, I mean, I'm glad it was happy and it wasn't, you know, cheating or anything like that because you do see a lot of that, like where people write in or read it.

And it's like, my partner lied to me. I don't know what he's been up to. They're coming home late and it's just really shitty. So I'm glad it was wholesome and he got a little surprising each other on the same day. I know. Great minds think alike. They're really in tune.

They're in sync. That's right. Sympatico. Okay. I think we're going to do one more and then we're going to call it. We've done a lot of loved ones. Would you like an animal one or a kid one? Let's go animal.

Okay. Animal one has a picture, so it is pretty good. I like that. Hey. Oh, what's wrong? I just got passed over for that big promotion. They told me I needed a graduate degree. Then you should do what I did and check out the University of Northern Colorado.

Who? The University of Northern Colorado. Their graduate school and extended campus offer over 100 flexible, career focused graduate programs online and in person. Really? The University of Northern Colorado? Really? The graduate school and extended campus at the University of Northern Colorado.

I messed up and sold my girlfriend's cat by accident. So my girlfriend and I are moving into a new apartment and while she was at work, I helped her out by selling the two beds she had in her apartment because we were going to use my better beds that I had at my house. Little did I know, when the cat is scared, it hides inside the box spring. Until now, there's been stuff under the bed preventing him from doing it, but there was a hole big enough for him to go crawl inside and hide in there. It is not a cat that ever goes outside and he didn't bolt out the door when I was helping

the people from Craigslist purchasing the beds, carry them out. She lived in Northridge apartment in Rock Creek and if you know those apartments, there's two sets of doors he would have to go through to get out. We would have noticed him leave. Well, he's no longer in her apartment and we've been working with the buyer to search through his house, garage, slash perimeter where he stored the box spring once he got home. He strapped the box spring on top of the car for the transport so the cat could have jumped

out on the transport as well at any moment. As you can imagine, my girlfriend is absolutely crushed. I know something, it's just a cat, but if you've ever owned an animal, I ask that you understand how unbelievably devastating this is. Cammo was her world and I was the one who took that away from her days before Christmas of all times of the year. This is a picture I took of him literally three days ago when we were messing around with a costume we bought, the little guy for Christmas.

Thank you for any help you may be able to provide. We would want to know dead or alive what state he's in and can only offer $100 for him from the money we got from the beds. Moving is and this time of year is proven to be financially challenging. Thank you so much for any information you may have. He could be anywhere near Hillsborough Airport or Rock Creek area. This is, it was posted originally in the r slash Portland so they live in Oregon. And again, thanks again, and he is microchipped as well.

And then here's his little picture in a costume. He's wearing like a little elf costume with like a little jingle bell looking things around. He seems like a little nice little guy. I know, look at his little white mittens. Cammo. He's just so cute. Yeah, I see why they named him Cammo, he's like just a blend in kind of color. And a sweet little guy.

Yeah, lots of updates on this one. Good. Updates, so we've had an overwhelming response from so many people willing to help. That being said, we currently have a small animal trap in the garage as of right now with a bowl of water at the end of it and some clothing next to the bowl as suggested by a cat rescue in Hillsborough that was kind enough to lend us the trap for free. Nice. Next, we have notified everything we can.

Posted lost cat posters around the areas he could be and I've registered the microchip service with his and updated the contact info. I posted on Craigslist and now we are going to reach out as per suggestion by blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's just like a website, like canines, our dog, something. The trap will be checked in the morning and every couple of hours each day. I know a thought might be emptying out the garage to confirm he's not in there. Well, that's a lot to ask a dude that just wanted a bed for $100.

We're also trying to stay good with him since he's truly not obligated to do much more than he's already done for us, which is a lot over the past 24 hours. Update and this is over the course of a couple of days. So now we're two days later. Update, still no sign of camo, nothing in the cage and the search and rescue guy. Well, we decided after some further suggestion, we were not going to hire him. We did receive, however, a reach out from a local news station for the story. Can't believe that.

We were responding quickly with them and hope to get the story out in a better way. My girlfriend has put up more posters, talked to some neighbors and did more search. She even rented a thermal camera from Home Depot, found two bunnies and two birds with it, but unfortunately, no cat. Had no idea that was even possible till again, read it. There's a long thread below here. So whoever suggested FLIR, amazing. Thanks again for your help.

And I'm sure someone was kind enough to have a relationship with that news station and talk to someone there. Whoever you are, you're amazing. Merry Christmas. Update again. So first post was 1217 and this one is 1220. Okay. We spent the day moving, but did get a tip from the front office of Northridge Apartments

that a gentleman who lives there was out running this morning and saw a cat on Jacobson Road near the high school wandering around. It was darker out when he was running and was not 100% positive of the markings, but it interests us because there's really no residential properties off that area. My girlfriend is going to head over there in the morning to take a look around and call out for him. It is possible he's getting closer to home, but now unfortunately, she doesn't live there anymore.

We've talked to all surrounding apartments to look out for him as the apartments will only let the posters stay up for a few days, understandably. We're offering 200 now that we don't have to drop the pet deposit at the new apartments where we moved today. That was depressing for sure. We're definitely keeping good spirits about it though, and I found a spot for his cat tree at the new place. The cage keeps empty at the box ring garage at this point.

We know our little camo is on his adventure and having some fun out there. Update 1221. She looked around the high school for several hours today, but nothing. I've already left town for Christmas and she's leaving to meet me Tuesday, just to stick around longer to see if camo turns up. She's wrecked on the whole thing, worried sick, and can't stop crying throughout the day. It's a big life change and it's hard to be alone when you've had a pet to greet you

for the last five years. It's rough, but we're going to let life be life and hope for the best down the road. Gotta make the best of the holidays and say hello to a new year, opening our minds to the possibility of a different life track without the little guy. Again, thanks to everyone who looked out, helped us with suggestions, and told us your stories of the look that brought your pet back home to ease our minds. Update 1228. So 12 days later, we found camo.

No way. Short story. Caught him in a trap hours after setting it near the new location where the box ring traveled. Meanwhile, he did in fact take the car ride all the way to the new bed owner's house near Hillsborough Airport. We were assured by a caller in the area that they did indeed see camo based on the pictures available and we got a small animal trap set up near the sighting.

Came back an hour and a half later and he was in there. After further inspection, camo had a cut, lip, several of his nails were broken, slash paws were bleeding. One of his eyes was squinty. He of course was a mess and he was very thin. He lost about two pounds. He spent the night getting up several times, eating and drinking, and was taken to the vet this morning.

The vet gave him an antibiotic shot, a good inspection, and he was off back to home where we think we pulled a tick off and are treating him for fleas. Haley gave him a bath and he's been cleaning himself vigorously since. All is good and we expect the news to be covering this pretty extensively. So that's why we've waited to release this until we had some time to discuss the plan. I love that. Let's go camo. I know.

We can't ever say thank you enough to all the people that spent their cherished holiday time and resources to help bring camo home. That's so cute. Yeah, you have to. I was thinking too, if he didn't come out as they're carrying the box spring out to the car. Oh my God, he probably got shaken up inside of that thing like a snow globe. Yeah, but you'd have to assume that he's not going to jump out as it's being transported.

He's going to wait until that thing's still and there's no noise for a little bit. Look at how happy he is to be home, just sleeping on the little bed. Yeah, he was roughing it. He was out there. I know. He was like nails broken, paws bleeding. It was wild and... He probably had to fight off some animals to survive, poor little buddy.

He gets crazy out there. Yeah. Oh my God, Lauren has like a bunch of feral cats around her apartment. And I woke up one morning to just like screaming cats, like full blown murder attack of violence. Oh, he's stopping at my old house. Oh my God, I was like, what is going on? They lived under our old house. Yeah, it was crazy.

And then we'd see him on the Arlo cams, they'd roll in gangs, they'd be like four cats, five cats. Four cats deep? Yeah. Oh my God. Well, I'm glad this little guy made it safe. The fact that he's an indoor only cat and was outside for 12 days, like cars, other cats, other animals, like poor little guy went through it.

So amazing. Yeah, that'd be tough. So amazing. God, it just makes you feel so bad. Like, oh, we can only do $100 and then... I know. And then she stayed an extra day or two. Like that would just...

Oh, that'd be so sad. Yeah. Okay, I have one more cat one and it's super short and cute. Okay. Well, the title of this one got hearing aids today and cried because my cat purred. I, 31 female, began to lose my hearing about 10 years ago when I was in the military. My husband and I got a cat about five years ago, I've never owned a cat before. So I had no idea what kind of noises they made besides meow.

So I had no context for what to expect when I heard my cat purr for the first time today. I was laying in bed and he jumped up next to me and snuggled into my armpit. I started to feel him vibrate like he always does and then I heard it. I was so scared at first. I didn't understand what the sound was. Then it clicked. Purring isn't just vibrating, it's a sound. I can hear it.

My cat has wandered off now, but I keep bursting into tears just thinking about his purr. I've never heard a cat purr before and it's so sweet. There's this ethereal quality to it, I can't even describe. It has this rhythmic pattern to it. It's all nasally, but low and fluttery. My husband and kids are sleeping and I don't want to wake them, but I'll tell them in the morning. I just wanted to share this joy I'm feeling with someone now.

That's amazing. Oh. And of course there's a little cat tax. His name is Kipper. He looks like a purr. He's got a really big mouth. So cute. That's awesome.

I love the advances in hearing aids and those colorblind glasses and that stuff is just so cool. Those are my favorite videos. I know. They're so wholesome and happy. They also make comments about how other sounds they've noticed since getting the hearing aids. I've been amazed at quite a few sounds I didn't know I was missing.

I forgot when you rip paper towels, they actually make a rip sound. I heard the fan in the living room. I can hear the tick of the clock above my desk. Turns out I have no idea how to whisper. My own voice sounds so strange. Oh, that's so crazy. Consonant sounds strange. The water running in the tub.

When I was giving my toddler a bath last night sounded so loud, I can't wait to hear more. Wow. I know. I love that. Yeah. You almost just, you get to discover so many new things. I know. It'd be so exciting.

I know. It's really, really wholesome and just so happy. Look at the little kitties. Animals are so amazing. Yeah. Camo and kipper, little cuties. Okay. Well.

I did want to mention on The Lost Cat, in today's world, get yourself the collar that can have the air take in it. Oh, Camo. Pop that bad boy in there. Yeah. Doesn't make any difference. The thing is small. The thing.

No. Yeah. Like if your dog or cat's already wearing a collar, put the air take in there, get the little attachment. I know. Just like. You got it. I mean, it just, it's peace of mind too.

I mean, like even just having it for your keys and wallet, yes. It has these. Yeah. Every single day it saves you a little bit of time. But then if your little guy goes running off or you're just like, I wonder where they are. I wonder what room they're in. You know, you can just.

You can ping them. Yeah. They're so smart and it could help in that scenario immensely. I mean, it would, it would have changed everything. He probably like, it just based on the second picture of, uh, him, he probably doesn't even wear a collar because he's an indoor only cat, which is hard because like my indoor only cat, we never put a collar on her either. Like she just.

Yeah. Was always in the house. I guess it's just like a crazy situation. Yeah. Like just who would have thought he would have been in the mattress, especially like he would have stayed in the mattress when they started moving it. Right. Yeah.

Poor little camo. But if they wear collars. Put it on him. Yeah. Do it. Put it on him. Yeah. Well, that was wholesome.

Yeah. Hopefully it's giving everyone their fill. Um, I know October's been a little spooky and scary, so cheers, cheers all up a little bit going into November and December holiday months that can be full of drama and lots of fun. So. Yeah. I love it.

Okay. Well, that's all I have for you guys on this episode of Too Hot Takes merch is live this week. So, uh, the link went live Monday. So by the time you hear this episode, it will be posted on Instagram in the bio as well as YouTube in our about me section. So be sure to check it out. I'll post it in the description of the video of this as well.

So enjoy you guys. Let's go. Yeah. Um, I think that's all I have as far as updates. Yeah. All right. Okay. Until next time, you guys.

Until next time. Bye. Hi, Jan from Toyota speaking, I heard it's a good time to buy Toyota sure is from now until April 4th. You can shop all your favorites like Corolla, RAV4, Sequoia and more imagine yourself in a new tundra where you stopped by the home improvement store and finally built that tree house. You promised your daughter.

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