Two Hot Takes - 45: Holiday Woes..

Episode Date: December 9, 2021

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-hosts Justin and Lauren! This episode is getting into holiday woes.. or Ho Ho No's.. Hope the holidays go better for you all than these peoples'.. Also starting to show you more of who we are, our humor, and weirdness (*cough* Morgan) so hope you enjoy! Connect with us on YouTube to tell us your takes on these stories! Bonus stories found on our Patreon :)  https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes

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Don't delay, construction schedules aren't filling up fast, so now's the time to start planning your building project with Morton. Contact your local Morton office for more details. MortonBuildings.com. I don't want to, you guys go, you started off today. Hello, everyone, and welcome to, oh, shit. I'm kidding, anyway.

You always started off. You got it. No, that was good. Yeah, that was, hello, everyone, and welcome to Two Hot Takes, a Christmas style. My face started turning red. Find everything you want more. So you're really nervous doing that.

TwoHotTakes.com. No, it doesn't exist yet. Yeah, I was gonna say, is that a thing? Coming soon. I do own it, it's time, it's time, you guys. Hi, guys, I'm Morgan, the host of Two Hot Takes, and I'm playing Olaf today. What are you the host of?

What did I say? I think she said Two Hot Takes. I said Two Hot Takes, right? No, I know, it does not get it. I don't know, maybe they're coming from somewhere else today. Fuck! Okay, hi, guys, welcome back to another episode.

Thanks, Lauren, for the smashing intro. Beautiful. No problem. If you're joining us on YouTube or you check out the Instagram still, we are very festive today. I'm wearing an Olaf costume. Justin is clearly Santa. And I'm a reindeer.

Little Rudolph down there. So today's episode. But we didn't introduce ourselves. Oh, we always do that. Yeah, you did. I said I'm Morgan. But we didn't say our names. I know, she said Justin's in that, Lauren's in that.

Oh, okay. We're good, okay. We're back, all right. Justin. The Holiday Woes is the theme today. We're clearly having a rough start and these people are having a rough time with their holiday experiences.

So just trying to read some crazy holiday stories to set all of us up with what not to do this holiday season. Yay! Amazing. Okay, you guys ready? Born ready. I am already so hot in this. I'm sad because I really want to keep it on the whole episode.

We challenge you. Take it off. Start a timer up in the left-hand corner of the video for how long Lauren can keep it on. Oh, you were the hot one. That's a good idea. I thought I was in it. I am the hot one.

Okay. Just look at me. Well, here we go. Oh, huh. Okay. Holidays are stressful, as we all know. We talked about this, Lauren. We did the Thanksgiving episode.

Yeah. And I feel like that those stories were kind of mild compared to some of these today. Oof. Yeah. So I'm trying to decide how much I just want to, like, baptism by fire you guys. Just, do I pop off from the beginning?

Or should we ease into it? I don't think there's any easing. I think there is. I have them arranged right now in an easing into its sort of way. Or do you just get the bat over with and kind of end on the easy? We are ending on a happy note.

So if you don't want a shit episode and you want happy, just skip to the end right away. I honestly don't want to ease into it. I want to pop off right away. Let's go. I'm with that. Okay. I guess that's what you're getting. This looks like a towel.

Does it? Yeah. You can't see Olaf's nose? A little bit. Oh, well, speaking of towels. Am I the asshole for unpacking my girlfriend's towel? Am I the asshole for unpacking my girlfriend's towel? I, 31 male and my girlfriend, 25 female,

have been dating for about two years. My girlfriend has beautiful hair that seems a lot more low maintenance than most women I know. She doesn't use all 100 different hair products, nor does she blow dry it. It honestly doesn't take her long to style her hair or anything.

However, she always insists on using this special towel to dry her hair. She insists that she can't use any regular towel for her hair. She gets mad if I use her hair towel as a regular towel too. She says that the towel should only be used for her hair. She even bought an extra one of these towels

that she keeps in a drawer at my place. She also takes the towel with her when she goes on vacation. I usually don't mind it since the towel doesn't take up much space and it is better than listening to a hairdryer all the time. But it's a bit weird because I don't know anyone else who has a towel just for their hair.

For Thanksgiving, we travel to see my family. Before the trip, I asked my girlfriend to leave her towel at home since we'll be staying at my parents' house. I didn't want my family to think she was weird or make fun of her. Since we plan to leave early in the morning, girlfriend spent the night at my place.

I noticed that she packed the towel she kept at my place in her suitcase. When she was asleep, I took the towel out. She didn't notice the towel was gone until after we got to my parents' place. I thought it was okay and my girlfriend didn't seem mad at all during the whole trip. However, when we got back to my place,

my girlfriend got into her car and drove off without saying goodbye. She texted me later saying she's mad at me because of that stupid towel and she needs some space. I keep calling and texting her but she won't respond. My friends think she's being overly dramatic but my girlfriend isn't that type of person.

Now I'm wondering if I messed up. Am I the asshole? First of all, this is so weird. This whole story is so weird. One, what is this magic towel and where can I get one? Is it any different? Is it any different than, is it like your pillowcases? Yes, he fucking sabotaged her.

Second of all, why did he unpack her towel? Like why did he think it was weird if she'd have this towel in front of his family? I'm so confused by that. It just seems unnecessary. It's kind of like a test. Like, oh, is she really gonna use it? Does she really need it?

But what's the point? Who is it hurting? It's just a little towel. Well, I'm just like picturing if I had a boyfriend that unpacked my blow dryer when I went to go see his family. What? Like why? I don't get it. And I think it's really dependent.

Like he doesn't say what type of hair she has but like depending on the type of hair she has, if she has more like curly hair or like textured hair and does like the natural curls and like coiff it. Yeah, my mom does that. That might be her coiffing towel. Like, I think I'm saying that word, right? Fuck, I don't know.

It sounds like I'm saying coiff or something. Yeah, it does. It's an interesting word. You coiff your curls or something. I don't know. But it's probably like one of those special like microfiber fancy towels. That's what I was picturing.

Because other towels like you're not supposed to use on your hair, it actually like really damages it and can cause a lot of breakage. I guess I've noticed that a little bit. I mean, I don't know. On your hair? Yeah. I mean, I dry it real quick.

Like, you're done. You know what I mean? Good. You damage it with regular- Morgan goes and like lays in bed and it's wet all night in the morning. But- I do not. Does this, like is this a quick process?

That dries out your scalp by the way, Morgan. I don't do that. He's lying. Is this like bounty paper towels? Like this thing just shh and it's dry? No. Bounty paper towels dry so quick. But like why wouldn't you blow dry?

The quicker picker. Worse for your hair. Putting heat on your hair is bad. Especially if you have curly hair. Like that's why, like my mom literally does that. That's exact what my mom does cause she has a very curly hair. So yeah.

It just like doesn't seem like a place to start a problem. It's a towel. It's so weird. So why? Who is her towel hurting and like why take it out? Who's gonna even know? Yeah. Who's gonna know she even has a towel with her?

She's gonna use it in the bathroom or their bedroom. We got like, why does he think it's weird? Elise is not like a sentimental little thing that she brings everywhere. I don't know. It's like a very useful item. Yeah. Practical.

But I want to know what is going on in his head why he felt so compelled to be like, mm-mm, you're not bringing that around my family. I think he said he was like embarrassed. He didn't want to see. Why? Who's gonna know? Who's gonna know?

Who's gonna know? Who's gonna know? No one's gonna know. Just quave it. They're not gonna know. No one's gonna know. Let's go with the quave. It's not quave, it's quave, quave.

How about a Google on it? I think it's quave. I want my reindeer ears back up. Quaff. Oh my God, I think it, hold on. I think it's quaff. Yes. Oh no, quave.

Oh my God, you guys, I'm just so... No, do the sound. Do the sound. I'm so off. I'll tell you. Quaff. Quaff, yeah. Okay, but quaff is not for,

oh, style or arrange someone's hair typically in an elaborate way. But the first definition of it is a close fitting cap worn by nuns. I was just like, oh my God. Can you show that on the YouTube picture? I was like, I butchered this again. Words are hard.

Quave is really offensive or something. It's a lot of words. Quaff. Quaff. Quaff. Quaff. I'm not even gonna try. I don't know if you guys

have realized I didn't even attempt. Yeah, I don't know. This seems like a power trip to me. I think he's just like trying to run the show. It's so weird. I just like, I do not understand. So yes, I think he's the asshole, but I'm also so curious why it's getting to him.

Yeah, I don't know. Is it one of those things where it takes her so long to get ready? So he's like, no, he said she's low maintenance. Yeah, so what? It would make it take longer if she didn't have a routine. Exactly.

Oh, no, that's just weird. So the top comment on this one, it's definitely like kind of an inside knowledge thing, but the top comment got 57,000 upvotes, 57,000. And they go, you're the asshole. And Douglas Adams can explain way better than I. A towel, the Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy says, is about the most massively useful thing

an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly, it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jagalabeta. You can lie on it on the brilliant, marble sanded beaches of blah, blah, blah. Inhaling. Of what? San Traganganus V.

Tell us, Morgan, of what? San Traganus V. Inhaling the heavy sea vapors. You can sleep under it beneath the stars, which shine so redly on the desert world of Cochrafoon. Use it to sail in a mini raft down the slow heavy river moth. Wet it for use in hand-to-hand combat. Wrap it around your head to ward off noxious fumes

or avoid the gaze of the ravenous bugblatter beast of troll. You can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and, of course, dry yourself off with it if it seems to be clean enough. And 57,000 people. That's not what I was expecting when you introed that. Yeah, same, but I like the space, right? Yeah, me too.

Yeah, I'm done with that. Literally, someone, like, people were eating that comment up. Like, the next one is, if I could, I would give you this 42 upvotes, and that comment got 18,000. I'm just like, maybe I need to watch the show. Is it a show? The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?

No, I'm not sure. Not an understeller. Someone else goes, what a deep thought. Wow. So anyway, do not take anyone's towel, people. No, but one of the next comments that is constructive is like, yep, you're the asshole. Let me count the ways.

Freaking out about a towel. Prioritizing your family of origin's weird towel obsession. Or even weirder, your imagined worry about their towel obsession. Over your significant other's towel obsession. Going behind your significant other's back to get rid of the towel. And let's just throw some potential cultural

slash race angle just for fun. Curly slash wavy haired people more likely have to have a specialized towel. So maybe there's some fun race shaming involved as well. Which is true. That's what I pictured. But there's like different ways that you categorize like curly or like natural hair.

And if it is like one of those curlier types, like you'd need your towel and your moose. And regardless, just let it be. Yeah. The fact that he did it when she was sleeping and snuck in there. So weird. Like the only word that's coming to my head is this is just weird.

I don't get it. Like what is, I don't, he ruined her Thanksgiving weekend. Does he respond to these? Because I'm curious what he has to say. Like why was he so triggered by this towel? Truth. I would like to know as well.

Oh. Yes. We do have some comments. Yeah. Give it to us. Oh, lots of comments. Oh my God, he was really trying to. So you didn't read these beforehand?

No, I didn't read the people's comments. I just like proofread the story. Okay. So one of the comments, info is your girlfriend a different race. OP goes, she's biracial, but I don't know why that matters. Well, there you go.

Because everyone's hair is fucking different, especially if you're mixed. Yeah. Everyone sucks for obvious reasons. It's just a towel. Let her take it if she wants to. No one will care. I wish that she told me that she was upset

about the towel instead of what she's doing now. I've tried many times to apologize, but she keeps giving me the silent treatment. She told you how important her towel was to her, and you still took it out of her suitcase. No, you were maybe a little rude, but she's being an absolute baby about it. I've reached out to her multiple times,

but she hasn't responded to any of my messages. I don't think she's been a baby at all. No, I think this is completely justified. Like to a point, like prove your point. I just think if your partner, for her, she's probably looking at this as, this is a bigger sign of the disrespect. I don't think it's truly about the towel.

I think it's really showing his true colors that he doesn't respect her. Yes, but I still think you can communicate. You can have that conversation. Yes, take your time if you need to and figure out what you want to say, but at some point you gotta communicate. I mean, maybe she's just not ever gonna see him again.

Which I do not condone ghosting culture. I really think that our culture should, our culture, our, what would you call it, generation, or does everyone do it these days? I think a lot of people ghost. My dad ghosted people. Wow, yeah, I just, I don't think that it's good. I don't think it's nice to do to anybody.

I'm sure she's still stuff at his place if she kept a towel there. I think she's probably like really upset, trying to think about it, just needs her space, and whatever. This comment I do like, you're the asshole. She packed that towel because she needed that towel. It's probably a microfiber towel.

They tend to help dry hair quickly without blow drying, which can be damaging, especially if her hair is long or curly. It also helps reduce frizz. And if her hair is curly, to keep the curls defined. Do some research on natural curly hair. Many people with straighter hair also find these techniques work well.

If you don't know why someone is doing something, ask. Or just let them do what they want. Don't mess up their routine just because you don't understand it. And OP goes, I already knew it's a microfiber towel. My girlfriend sometimes complains that regular towels ruin her curls, but she has forgotten her towel a couple of times

and her hair always looks fine. Even during Thanksgiving, she was getting compliments for her hair by my relatives. And she didn't have the towel then. It's not the point. The point is that, why are you being a dick? Yeah. Where is the motivation for all of this going from?

And like you said, it's not just about the towel. It's the disrespect. Like, you snuck behind my back, went into my personal things, and took something out that's important to me that I use every day. Why? Like, that's just disrespectful. Doesn't matter what it is.

Like, he's being an absolute idiot. I kind of like that she didn't say anything the whole weekend, though, and just kind of played it off. I think that's a power move. Yeah, that's why he's on Reddit trying to ask people for advice, because he's thinking about his actions, which he should be. Absolutely.

I think this is, I really hate stonewalling, and it is what she's doing. She has stonewalling. But she's clearly based on his replies. She's clearly articulated that this towel is important. She needs it for her hair, especially her type of hair. And he hasn't gotten it. He still doesn't get the importance of the towel.

So maybe this is what it takes to get it to stick. But at that point, it's kind of like, do you want to spend? No, from his responses, it seems like he's not going to change. No. Did he say how long they've been together? I don't believe so. That Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy comment about the different ways a towel is useful or practical,

not useless, someone goes, say that big comment, and then OP goes, except we weren't going camping in the wilderness. We were at my parents' house, where there are plenty of towels. Also, she only uses this towel for her hair, nothing else. It wasn't meant to be literal. All right, well, what if there was a zombie apocalypse

and your entire house got run down, and now you guys are in the woods, Mr. OP? Then what? Then she would need that fucking towel. Oh my god. You would need the two. Yeah, he'd be real pumped about that towel then. Alien invasion?

What are you going to do? Not have a towel? OK. Correction, they've been together for two years. Damn. Wow, all right. A couple of months? A couple of months?

OK, I get it. You don't understand the towel, but two fucking years? So weird. Well, also, how do these things not show? Until two years? I don't know. Yes, it's the one instance with the towel, but it's revealing a whole different.

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See your participating Toyota dealer for details. Dealer inventory may vary. OK, well, next one. Am I the asshole for ditching my girlfriend for one night while away on holiday? So my partner and I are going to my hometown just after Christmas. Her family is all in Japan.

We are spending two weeks, of which most will be spent with my family and a few days of us exploring by ourselves. My high school friends want to make plans to catch up and get an Airbnb and spend the night playing games, et cetera. I asked my girlfriend if she minds if I don't bring her along, as none of my other friends are bringing their partners.

And it changes the dynamics somewhat. English isn't her first language, so a lot of the games we'd like to play would be too difficult for her. I gave her the option she could stay with my family, whom she has met before, or she could stay with my high school friends as girlfriends, whom we have stayed with before, and we will probably stay with for one night again.

She blew up. Now saying she isn't coming on the trip anymore, et cetera, et cetera, I then offer instead to fly to my hometown a couple days earlier than I originally planned to catch up with my friends. And then I'll pick her up from the airport. This, too, is not an option, apparently. And she maintains she has no longer coming on the trip,

which, by the way, I paid for half the flight. Am I the asshole? Doesn't seem like it, no. What? Oh my god, OK, I expect. No, me and Justin were both on the same page. We're like, no, he's not the asshole. Morgan's face just went white.

Oh my god, OK, well. You're with me? Yeah. OK, cool. Damn, I thought I was way off. OK, I was laughing at Morgan's expression. Overall, vote on this thread as asshole. Well, I think the first option that he presented

was kind of like throwing her to the alligators. Like, she doesn't know what she's getting into, and just to be like, this is whatever. But then when he's saying, I want to spend time with my friends one on one, and I will go earlier and then pick you up from the airport so that you don't have to hang out with people you don't know and feel uncomfortable.

And then she still blew up. That's where I'm like, no, I don't think that's an asshole. I just don't know why there's no communication. Why can't you? Why is there just like, oh, I'm not coming. Why is it not like, oh, yeah. Because she's clearly hurt. By what?

Let's go on a vacation where your family's in Japan, and you can't see your family over holidays that are probably important to you, so therefore, heightened emotions. And then let me just go ditch you for a night of fun with my friends, who she's already met and has spent time with. And oh, let me basically call you stupid,

because English isn't your first language, and you're not going to be smart enough to play our games. Well, sure, that's one thing. But I think the point is less about that. That feels like an added detail. I feel like the point's more about it's like these people. Is it all dudes? It's like a boys' night?

They never specify. Well, Ophi explicitly did say that no one else's partners are coming. So it's like, I don't think that's crazy to be like, I want a night with all my friends and not have significant others coming. Right, and it's not last minute. It's not like, oh, by the way, tonight is.

Yeah, I mean, I think I just, I don't know. It sounds like she's far from home, like she was excited to go. I just think it's a shitty way to do it, especially if someone's going to be in your life forever. Like if Justin's coming home with me for the holidays, and I would never be like, oh, I'm going to just going to leave you at home with my family,

and I'm going to go hang out with my friends. Yeah, but what about on, I think if I think, here's where I'm thinking too, just real quick. I think if it was just him going for a game night, and then like coming home and spending the night with her, I think that'd be one thing. But the fact that they're like renting an Airbnb, he's going to be gone from like,

and staying the night and all this stuff. It's like, that's just like, that's all, it's kind of an uncomfortable situation to put your girl from there. Well, it seems like why when she run back to go to sleep, but I guess if you're drinking and stuff, then you wouldn't want to be driving around. No.

It just doesn't seem like the most unreasonable thing to me. Yeah, I mean, you talked about having, I thought you wanted a girl's night on the 17th this year. He won't be back yet. But even still, like I'd be chilling. Yeah, I think he'd be fine. I know, I know it's a different situation because he's also from Minnesota.

He's from Minnesota. But yeah, I think it's just the fact that he doesn't, they don't say how long they're dating. It doesn't really say how comfortable she is with their family. It just seems like he's really just throwing her under the bus. I feel like he's presenting good options though.

Why can't he go back early and see his friends? I think that would have been like a solution. But I think because of the way he approached it first, he was probably so hurt that she didn't even want to hear that option. Yeah. I'm just thinking about the guy who, the girl who booked him the cruise

and the vacation for his birthday and then he didn't want her involved. And comparing this to that story, it's just kind of like, this is not... I know. I just get weird vibes. I would never, ever, ever call my partner dumb. Like, I'm sorry, he didn't call her dumb.

English isn't her first language. So a lot of the games we'd like to play would be too difficult for her. That's such an unadded detail. I would never, first of all, if she can speak multiple languages, she's probably smarter than you that just knows English if he only does know English.

And trust me, we play hardboard games. We play Catan. And that shit's hard. And I'm sure she'd be just fine. Like, you pick that shit up, you get it. So let's read some of the top comments. And then we can talk about it more. Cassie does give some edits.

Okay. You're the asshole. Why would you want to bring your girlfriend on a trip where she knows no one well and is partially isolated by language and then ditch her for the night? If the games you want to play wouldn't be good for her, the inclusive thing to do would be to play different games.

And then someone goes, OP also offered to go before her so he wouldn't need to ditch her for a night, but that wasn't acceptable either. He gave her a lot of options and she shot them all down. So how is he an asshole? It's not even about the games. He offered to change the plans

after it became clear she was upset. That would have been a better suggestion. How do you come up with it first? Ultimately, from now on, whatever the scenario is, it's going to seem like OP wants to exclude his girlfriend from hanging out with his friends. If it's not about the games, then why are they playing games that she can't?

Another top comment. 100% this, my husband actually pulled this crap on me back when we were dating. I was miserable. Not because I couldn't be without him for a few hours, but because a guest who barely knows the host is extremely uncomfortable. Particularly when they don't really want you there.

They just want your son there. Your best friend's girlfriend's home is not much better since it's not like they know each other well. OP, get her a night at a spa in the town. You're visiting and cover a couple of spa treatments. Also note, visiting your friends and family is not a vacation for her at all. It is stressful and she has to be on the entire time.

And I would agree with that. Yeah, but stressful for him too. It's not stressful for him, that's his family. I know, but what if you have these preexisting traditions with friends where it's like you go back for the holidays? I don't know, it just feels like a tough position to be in. I think maybe, sure I can see if the other option was presented first, how it would feel different.

But I almost would approach it in a similar way just to get a gauge on what the response is gonna be. But I think we have a relationship to the point if you were upset, I would present the other options and we'd talk about it and figure it out. It wouldn't be just like, no, this is done. Back me up, Lauren. I'm on Justin's side, to be honest.

You guys can take your not the asshole vote. I'm sticking with the majority on this one. I just know how this would have been for me. If this was my first Christmas with you and me staying at your mom's house by myself the whole time, yes, your mom is nice. It would have been fine. But it would have been incredibly uncomfortable.

But that's why what Justin's saying is that then you have that conversation. Then instead of her blowing up and being like, nope, I'm not going and him presenting different options. She's like, nope, not going. Like, no, that's where I think it's not very reasonable on her end. How would you react?

You wouldn't be offended? I think I'd probably be a little hurt or I don't know, I would dig into it a little bit and be like, well, I don't know if I wanna do this or that. But I wouldn't be like, I'm not going on the trip anymore. I mean, the board game thing that, yeah, that was kind of unnecessary for him to say. Like she wouldn't be able to get the board games.

But the thing where he was like, no one else is bringing their partner. Like this is just like. But I bet all of those people are local. Yeah, but like they probably all have their own families and other options. So like having their boyfriends or their partners go play a game night,

like they can be with their family or their friends. And it's like, it's not a big deal for them. But whereas she is truly, she's alone. Yeah. And then from his angle though, too, it would be weird, I guess, to kind of walk into a situation where it's kind of predetermined

of, oh, all the partners are staying home. And it's like, oh, my girlfriend's here and it kind of changes the whole dynamic. And that's what I was assuming is that like they're gonna be together the rest of the time nonstop. And this is just the one night where OP is having a night with all of their friends.

But I think it's hard when you're in a big group of people. If I was going back for the holidays and we were having a girls night on the 17th, like we've just discussed, and I was bringing a guy along for the holidays to meet my family. And all my friends were like, no, we're not bringing our boyfriends,

it's a girls night. Then I would try to figure out, so I wouldn't be like, no, he is coming. Like, fuck you guys, fuck the girls night. Cause there's different, you know, there's different things. Like whenever you're all with your girls, other people are not as comfortable.

Like some of your friends are talking about like crazy stories that they've done that they don't want to talk about in front of another guy. They only want to talk about in front of their girlfriends. And so it just kind of like changed the dynamics. So like you don't want to like force people to, you know, so it's kind of a difficult situation. Like obviously he wants to make her feel comfortable,

but he also wants to participate, or I guess we don't even know if like OP didn't even say. So I guess like they want to participate with all of their friends. I, yeah, I don't know. I think the option to have the girlfriend come later makes a lot of sense to me. Yeah, I think she's just hurt.

I think I would just have such a sour taste in my mouth that I would just be like, honestly, like just go and do your thing. I just don't like that though. Like just communicate people. Even if you were hurt, you can't... She's having a very emotional reaction. Holidays are very, very emotional for people,

especially like her family... You're going to operate as a team though. But her family, look at what she may be going through. Like her family is all the way in Japan. We've had COVID. They, in the edit, they live in Australia. So Australia's been super, super locked down for a lot of this pandemic.

And so she probably hasn't had an opportunity to see her family. And like she wants to be with her boyfriend or her partner and spend this quality time. And then for him to be like, actually, like I'm going to do this whole thing. We're going to Airbnb. Like you're not invited.

It was probably so hurtful for her because of the fact she's not with her family. She hasn't seen her family potentially. Like it's just all of that compounding stress and emotion to the point where she's probably like, fine, fuck it all. Like fuck it all. Understand that it's an emotional reaction, but is she really just going to be like, all right,

I'll be by myself for the holidays then, just to like make a statement. You know what I mean? That's where I'm kind of like, I don't. I feel like you'd regret it in the end. Yeah. So edit. It feels good to prove a point,

but I feel like sometimes after it's like, ah, I didn't have to do that. Yeah. Edit, this blew up a bit. I feel like a majority are saying I'm the asshole, but there is a strong minority who disagree. So I'm glad it's not clear cut to address some recurring themes.

She does speak English. We live in Australia and she has worked and lived here for over five years. I just meant she struggles to understand new games and in general has no interest in any sort of quote, intellectual game. I would happily put her in a private Airbnb or similar if she wanted.

I didn't offer it because I'm pretty sure she wouldn't want that either. But when we discuss it next, I will make sure she knows that option is available. I mentioned in one comment thread, I think part of it is she is worried about why I don't want her there. She asked if we are going to quote, get strippers,

but I feel like she knows that is ridiculous. Oh. Anyways, my plan is to have another talk with her about it. I will present the solo accommodation option as well. And if she won't concede to any of it, then I guess I'll just have to bring her along and take mental note of how uncompromising she can be.

If you're keeping a tally list on your relationship like that. I mean, yeah. Oh, I don't like it. I don't know. I just know that if I was going back to meet a boyfriend's family, I personally would want them to be able

to have their time with their friends to enjoy and be able to be flexible. I wouldn't like the whole time. No, absolutely not. But like one night, I mean, I guess if it was one weekend, then I would be like, that sucks. But if it's, I guess we didn't, do we even discuss how long it is?

Because if it was one weekend, then I'd be like, what's the point? But if it was, you know, multiple days and this was one night that my boyfriend wanted to spend with their friends, like I would want them to enjoy that time. So that's like where my take is coming from. I'm kinda, I'm with ya.

Well, this is a real account. This OP is super, super active and other subreddits, gaming forums and stuff like that. So I'm sure there will be an update coming from this one. Their fight was based on comments about five days ago. So I'm sure an update will be coming shortly considering they have flights and everything like that.

But. It's always so crazy to think that I feel like with a lot of these stories, when I hear them, I put them kind of in the distant past. But it's weird. I know, I do the same thing. It's weird to feel like it's happening right now. Like she's mad right now.

And he's trying to figure this out right now. The trip hasn't happened yet. It feels like it all ready as hell happened. You guys, we are helping them figure it out right now. Yeah. Do you ever wonder if people who write in listen to the podcast and have heard? It would be funny.

Their own story? Yeah. Yeah. I wonder that sometimes. Especially like if it's not a write in, it just happens to be a big blown up Reddit story. That would be crazy. But I just think of them as such far off distant people

that it's weird to think that it could literally be my neighbor. Yeah, right? I know. I found one today and I was like, wait to my little brother and his girlfriend write this part. You think that a lot. Let's read that one next. No, but I hope this works out.

Well, I just, I think I have a lot of sympathy for her and that's why I just think his execution of this was very poor and hope it works out. But I still get bad vibes about the way he's talking about her. Like saying she wouldn't understand and she doesn't like intellectual games. Like what are you playing? Well, the way that he's saying it,

I'm picturing that they've had this experience before because it seems like he knows this very well, where all the games that he's going to play with his friends, he's tried to play with her in some other capacity and knows that she doesn't like them. Like that's what it sounds like to me, but I could be wrong. I got that a little bit too. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know. I'm just looking at his other posts just to see like what type of person it is. He kind of reminds me of you, Lauren. What? Is it more polite to fart loudly in public than quietly? What's your answer, Lauren? That's why he reminds you of me.

Yeah. Because you asked me on a podcast once, you were like, you're like, is it better to have it be silent and smelly or to be loud and not smelly? I still wonder that. So you both are posing the important questions about fart. Oh, you're like Morgan and you never fart ever.

So what are you? I fart in my sleep and you know it. I know it. I know that you know it. Morgan, Justin, what do you guys think about that question? In public, I think smells worse than sound. I mean, come on.

But sounds are more awkward than smells. But sounds are funny. And I guess smells are like. Well, smells you can't pinpoint to a source. Exactly. Do you ever let it rip in class like high school? I actually was really good at making sure I did not fart in class in high school or in college

because I feel like it's too obvious. It's too close of like a. It's like instantly. Somebody knows, like what there's like four people around that like someone knows it's one of the four of us. Not now. So I feel like I was really good at not ever doing that. Yeah, well then it would be like a big deal.

Yeah, this one's a, he's a, this one, their character. I feel the current depression is a medical condition awareness campaign is actually bad for people who have depression. I don't know. A lot of interesting takes from this, this friend, but. Okay. What did you just, what was that sound?

Okay. It's a little twist on it. It sounded like you were like burping. So yeah. Well, I'll keep my eyes peeled for an update on this one. Yes. I hope her feelings aren't too hurt and they can come to a solution.

I think they'll figure it out. Okay. Hopefully. The thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking. I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays and lighters. I started exercising instead of smoking.

Staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key. I kept on trying, learn something each time. Do whatever it takes. No matter how many times it takes. We did it. So can you. For free and confidential help, call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit waytoquit.org developed by CDC.

I can't believe how fast these candles are burning. I know I'm just staring in because the flames look so still too. Yeah. Well, I better get my Hanukkah story done before the menorah goes out. Yep. Am I the asshole for suggesting

my daughter skip Hanukkah gifts this year? I, 58 male, have three children. My daughter Marie, 28, and my son Frank, 25, are from my first wife. And I have a son, Chris, seven male, with my new wife, all fake names. I admit that Chris is a little spoiled and used to getting his way.

Marie got married two years ago and her husband is Jewish. She celebrates Hanukkah with him and his son, John, eight male, and family. John lives with them full time as his mom is not in the picture. They also come to see us for Christmas, which would be via Zoom this year.

So we usually do a four gift rule when it comes to Christmas since Chris tends to get stuff throughout the year. Well, he came home from school last week saying how a kid in his class is Jewish and he gets a present every night of Hanukkah and how it wasn't fair that he was getting eight presents and he only got four.

I pointed out that he also got things throughout the year and that I wasn't sure if the gifts were even that good. He started complaining that John was going to get eight gifts and then whatever we got him and he was only going to get four and whatever they got him. I said it didn't actually matter, but I ended up having to send him to his room

to calm down. I called Marie and asked if they could maybe skip Hanukkah gifts this year because it upset Chris so much knowing that John was going to have so many more gifts than him. She said no. No, sorry, Colin.

She said no, they had already bought all of his gifts and considering Chris wasn't even going to see what he got, it shouldn't be a big deal. I admit I got a little frustrated and said it wouldn't kill her to do something that could help her brother. She told me that Chris was being a spoiled brat about gifts and it wouldn't be helping him to deny John his gifts.

They spent time and energy picking out just so he wouldn't throw a tantrum. I lost my temper and said she wasn't even his real mom. So I wasn't sure why she was picking some kid she wasn't even related to over her brother. I regret saying that. She blew up and the short of it is I'm a terrible person. She has no interest in helping spoil Chris any more

than he already is and she will not be celebrating via Zoom with us this year and does not want to hear from me again anytime soon. I shouldn't have said what I did, I admit that, but she hung up before I could apologize. Now Mark, his older son, is on my case saying that I need to stop babying Chris and that he wouldn't be seeing either of us

because if he or Marie acted like Chris acts, I'd have punished them. I'm frustrated and my wife says she understood my heart was in the right spot but it was kind of unreasonable to ask them not to celebrate Hanukkah because Chris felt slighted. I don't really think I was so wrong to ask but maybe it was unreasonable.

I don't think my kids should be this angry at me though. It was suggested I post here. So was I really such an asshole for this? Yes, absolutely no question. You, what? It's laughable. It's so laughable. You're asking somebody not to celebrate

a religious holiday that is, what? She could have easily been like don't celebrate Christmas. If he's sad about four gifts, maybe he should get none. Yeah. Yeah, what? Don't celebrate Christmas this year. Or how about he starts like celebrating Hanukkah? Let him participate and understand.

That's just, yeah. That's an easy one. That's a very easy one. That was ridiculous. I cannot believe it escalated so quickly to him immediately being like, he's not even related to anyways. That's some crazy shit.

You should rather, you should be more loyal to your brother. Oh, can you imagine saying something like that? Do you know what I'm picturing this kid? That was super upset and given he's just a kid. So not like coming at him, but I'm picturing him like the Harry Potter's brother. I forget his name. Oh God, what is that kid's name?

Dudley? Yeah, I think it's Dudley. Like Dudley and Dudley's dad. That's what I'm saying. He's Dudley. Oh my God, I can totally see that. God. She married this man.

That little boy is like now her little boy. Like that's her child. It doesn't matter blood relation. And so to argue like that's not really your child. Well, that's not really her brother either. Yeah, I mean, all of it's ridiculous. It's such a clusterfuck. It doesn't even matter who's related to who.

It doesn't matter if they are all strangers honestly. Besides the point. To ask somebody, that is just no. That's crazy. Bonkers. Look at how this one's splitting the two. I was wondering what was going on there. There must have been an old wick in the,

Oh. Yeah. Get him 10 gifts. Get him 20 gifts. Really rub it in. Fuck that kid. Top comment. LOL, let me get this straight.

You asked your adult daughter and her husband to not give her stepson Hanukkah gifts in his own home because your similar aged son in your home went like knowing the stepson got more gifts overall than him. This man is like- Unbelievable. He's creating a monster. That's why I'm saying it.

It reminds me of like the Harry Potter situation because he's like feeding into this little kid being a brat and they're just feeding off of each other. Oh my God, Lauren. Let me get there. You're the asshole and this isn't even close. There is no alternate universe where you would not be the asshole here.

Your older kids are right. Chris is spoiled and you know it. You can increase his gift count if you want. It's your home and your money. But you absolutely 100% cannot ask an adult to alter their own holiday celebration in their own home because your kid is jealous. But you really should nip this in the bud now

before it's too late to fix Chris and he winds up a victim of affluenza. P.S., you should have fake named him Dudley instead of Chris. No way. Because this is basically right out of Harry Potter and Dudley got worse before he got better. Oh my gosh.

Thank you. Wow, that was good. I like that term affluenza. Affluenza. That's a good one. I know. The thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking.

I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays, and lighters. I started exercising instead of smoking. Staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key. I kept on trying, learned something each time. Do whatever it takes. No matter how many times it takes. We did it, so can you.

For free and confidential help, call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit waytoquit.org developed by CDC. Oh, we just lost the candle. We lost one, one down, one down. OK, moving along. Moving right along. Plug, plug, plug, plug, plug in. Plugging along.

No, too weird. Is that from something? No, no. My brain. It's from my brain. My brain. Let's do one more story and then shots get just in. Take a poo poo.

What? I'm keeping that in. Are you serious? I thought you guys didn't talk about that stuff with each other. Oh, no, we talk about poop. I just don't. I don't fart openly. But I farted the other day.

Openly. No, no, no, I really. So we were brushing our teeth. And I was like clenching my butt cheeks because I knew it was going to be a loud one. I was just like, oh, fuck, OK. So I got my toothbrush ready, turned it on, and I start walking. I always brush my teeth and walk around or do stuff, multitask.

And I got down the hallway and thinking, OK, I'm safe, I'm far enough away. And it was so loud. I was sure I was going to get back to the bathroom when you were going to be like, so that was the first one. I still can't remember that, actually. It was so loud. I don't know how you can hear it.

You know what I don't understand is how you can be so open about talking about farts with Justin, but you refuse to fart in front of him. I don't refuse. I've been silently farting. I've actually been farting a lot more around him. You've got good control. Well, I just have a lot of floofs lately.

I don't know what it is in my diet, but I have a lot of the floofs. That's cute. I'll fart as you're walking towards me and hope that maybe you'll hear it and it'll be OK. How do you know it's not just going to light up the room? Did you guys know that pugs fart, by the way? They fart loud.

All dogs fart. I know all dogs fart, but I've never heard one audibly fart. It's probably because of all their wrinkles on their ass. I don't know, but I was with Biggie and Biggie farted so loud multiple times right next to me, and I couldn't stop laughing. Did I meet Biggie? Yeah, pretzel plays.

All right, yeah. Yeah, I just shout out to Biggie. I'm not about the pug life. Pug life ain't for me. I'm like, honestly, I never thought I would want to pug until I got to know my friends pug so well, and now I'm like, please don't. I'm obsessed with that.

Please don't. I want to actually cuddle your dog and like, but that's the thing is that they're the best cuddlers. Are you moving away from me? You don't like pugs either? Justin. I think you get a cute cuddly dog, but that's the thing is that they're so cuddly.

That's why I like them so much. They ain't intimidating nobody. They snort. They love to cuddle. They slimy. They shed a lot. OK, yeah, that's how. See you.

Get um, shitsus are OK. Like, Arlo's cute, but get a holly dog that's nice and friendly because she's got people hair. She smells nice. She doesn't get goopy eyes. She's got people hair. Yeah. Hypoallergenic.

Doesn't shed. Why is this sweetie? It's up to other people. Yeah, true. Here we go. We're continuing on the theme of presents. Love. I think I got to take Olaf off.

I want to put my reindeer on, actually. OK, so keeping on the theme of gifts. Am I the asshole for telling the kids their dad took this year's Christmas away from them? Please read before you judge. Thank you. So I'm a working mother of three, nine, 11, and five. My husband used to have a job, but was let go at the end of 2020

and hasn't worked since then. Yes, he worked in a few places here and there, like the gas station, but he couldn't keep it because he, quote, lacked motive and passion. All in all, our financial situation isn't so great, but I've decided to start saving money to be able to get the decent Christmas celebration the kids wanted and couldn't get in 2019 through 2020.

I've put money aside to buy decoration and prepare meals and also gifts, but just a couple of days ago, found out that my husband had taken $500 out of my account and from the money I saved. The rest of my salary goes towards bills and groceries and gave it to his little brother to help him out in child support. I found out and had a huge argument with him about how he essentially stole this year's Christmas from the kids

to help his irresponsible brother pay for child support. My husband apologetically said he had no choice and was pushed by family to contribute and pay part of his brother's child support, otherwise they won't see their nephew slash grandchildren since his brother's baby mama is vicious and spiteful. The kids came in and I just told them that unfortunately I can't afford Christmas this year

and it's because of their dad who took it away from them by taking the money I saved. There was utter silence and my husband glanced at me in disbelief. He told the kids to go to their rooms and screamed asking, what the fuck is wrong with me? To spout this kind of bullshit in front of the kids? I said, it's the truth.

And that I've sacrificed so much to save money to give the kids some joy this holiday, then he selfishly took the money and gave it away. He said he would pay me back in time before Christmas, but I don't see how this is possible since he doesn't even have money for gas. He got pissed and said I shouldn't tell the kids that he took their Christmas money

and that the psychological damage I'm doing to the kids is worth a lot more than money and accused me of turning the kids against him and making them resent him for trying to help out a family member. He stormed off and spent time with his family who accused me of causing my children mental traumas by saying their dad took Christmas away from them

and alienating them from him. Just wanted to say this, that the kids know that mommy is the one who brings home money and so if Christmas gets canceled and because of money, then they'll think it's because of me. I had many, many conversations with them about it and last thing I want is to see them disappointed in me for something that is not my fault.

Thank you. She's so selfish. Wow. Really? So selfish, incredibly selfish. I do think that I would be so upset if I was her too and it is really shitty that he did that especially behind her back,

but he was in a really tough situation and it just doesn't excuse it. He should have talked to her about it. It wasn't fair for him to do, but she took it out on her kids. That is really awful to do to your kids. I just think there's a way better way to present what's going on than the way that she did.

That was so shitty. And so that's why I'm like, I think it's so selfish. I mean, I understand both sides. It's a really difficult situation, but she shouldn't have done that to the kids and I stand by that. I don't understand his side because there's no reason in the whole world

you should go and take that money. I don't care what it is. I mean, I agree, but he was saying that he wouldn't be able to see his nephew anymore. Why is his brother's child his problem? He's got three kids at home. I understand that, but he's saying that I want to be able to see my nephew,

like it's his family. Well, you should prioritize your own kids over this, but I just think there's no way in the world you should take that money, A. I agree. At least without a conversation. You need like communicate again, but I think there's gonna be problems in relationships.

And those problems are between you. I just, I don't know about crossing the line of bringing your kids into it, especially at this young age. I know. This whole thing just reminds me of made. Like it reminds me of just like being in poverty and just like having no money

and her like carrying everything. And it clearly like they were in the middle of the fight. And by the sounds of it, it sounds like the kids just like happened to stroll in, hear this conversation and she just like lashed out. And it was just like, you guys like, just so you know, like there's not gonna be presence because of your dad.

It sounds like she was just at her wits end with this. And look at me like, look at how hard it is to come up in a system that is not geared to help people truly. Like she's probably just at her wits end, but I know I see where you guys are coming from on the kid front. Well, I agree with the wits end.

And I understand that people are not always gonna be perfect in front of their children. I think that I'm passionate about it because I've realized so much recently how much our childhood has impacts on all of us. And so I think that's why I was a little triggered by that, but my whole thing with her question is that I think she should take accountability

for her actions. I don't think she should feel horrible, but like I think that she should take accountability for the fact that what she said to her children was not the best thing to say. Fair. Oh, I just feel so bad for her. Yeah, I mean, it is really shitty

as she should probably leave him. Like he's not really being the best partner at all. But still, there's still a little asshole-ness in making that move, crossing that line. He is a terrible, terrible person. Well, yeah, you shouldn't take the money, yes, obviously. The brother's got, is a whole other case, but still, I get the anger, I get having the emotion,

I get wanting to lash out, but I think that's not gonna be something you are happy you did. I just, what's the good gonna come from that? Do you think that's all of a sudden gonna inspire him to change by telling your kids? By handing over- I think it's gonna make things worse.

I don't think that he's a terrible person. I mean, because, okay, let's say he took that money and like spent it out at like a strip club. Like, yeah, that's not, but it's like, I think his intentions were good, misguided, but like I don't think he had the worst intentions, but it's, he clearly doesn't have all of his priorities straight and he's trying to, I guess,

I mean, he's feeling pressured by his family and he let that pressure affect his direct children when it's like, this is his brother's responsibility. Like, this should not fall on him. So, I don't think he's a terrible human by any means. I just think that they probably shouldn't be together. He needs to figure his stuff out and maybe he's in a really bad place right now.

Maybe like he's dealing with a lot of shit and so who knows, but they might just need to take some time apart. I just think he's a piece. One, you let your family bully you. You're not working, your family knows you're unemployed, you're not doing shit, you had jobs and you quit your jobs, like didn't get fired.

He quit because he lacked motive and passion. Yeah. You let your wife do all the work while you get a free ride and yet you're gonna let your family bully you into stealing money basically from your children's mouths and then give to your brother, who's also not doing shit

because he can't pay his baby mama her child support. Yeah, I mean, what OP said was not to her children, was not necessarily completely inaccurate. I know. But like, it's just one of those things where how are your children going to receive that and like how are they gonna be traumatized? I think there's just a better way.

The five is really young too. Yeah. But the nine and 11, they already know what's going on. Kind of, but they're still at nine years old. I still, I mean, you get drinking at 13, like at 11, you know what's up. I guess I, yeah. Don't drink at 13, that's not encouraging.

But for the dad, you, at this point, it doesn't really matter what you're going through. You have commitments that are bigger than yourself and you gotta step up and do what you have to do. Like, go do it. I know. Don't just sit around and let this all happen. I know.

Well, and she doesn't mention any mental health stuff by saying lack of motive and passion. I mean. It just makes them sound lazy from how it's written. It does. And so maybe she's discrediting mental health if there is going on, because lack of motivation is a big thing with depression.

But she's not mentioning it. So based off what we have, like he fricking sucks. His family sucks. The fact that they called her and was like bullying her, it's like, stay out of it. You're the reason this problem exists. Yeah. Stay out of it.

Time for separate accounts. It does actually kind of hit a spot for me too, because once upon a time, I dated somebody a while back that I just noticed that it seemed like they took on this weight of everyone around them. Like everyone they cared about their money problems were their problems.

And they would put that before focusing on what's right in front of them, which was our relationship. They were a little enmeshed with their family, huh? No, not even like family, just family and friends. And that's a really redeeming quality to really want to help out the people that you love and care about.

But then it crosses a line when it becomes so such a weight on you that you are destroying everything. I don't know if I heard this somewhere or what, but I said it on a phone call with someone, like a work thing. And I was like, it's really hard because you cannot burn yourself to keep others warm. Yeah.

Like you need to take care of yourself and then you can help others. So it's like, it's the oxygen mask thing. I told my dad. We love that analogy. I was like, you have a really hard time like saying no to people. You always want to help people,

which is amazing about you. But you also sometimes need to put your oxygen mask on before you help others. Exactly. Otherwise you're going to not crumble and you won't be able to help anyone. Help people at all. Help yourself, help anyone.

Yeah, exactly. If that's the case though, there needs to be a balance of that and actually taking care of your kids. Yeah. I think he's got to get his shit together. He's an asshole, his family's an asshole. I think she does suck for the way she said it,

but I just think about maid and I'm just like, if this is Alec, I feel for her. Like I definitely feel for her, but I just think that it's very important for her to recognize that that is not a good way to approach your children and a topic like this. Yeah. That's just my opinion.

Well, and I think if you, it's kind of like, if you're getting to this point in your relationship where this is how you're resorting to handling things with your partner, like it is clearly not a beneficial relationship like for her. She's carrying the team. She doesn't have three kids.

She's got four and one of them is a 40-something year old man. No. Yeah. So overall vote on this one. Yeah. Overall vote was not the asshole. Top comment, your husband sucks.

Be done with his deadbeat self and family. At least alone, you won't have to worry about him stealing from you in addition to sucking up the family resources with no return, not the asshole. This, and maybe when you ditch him, his family will come together to pay you some child support so you can afford Christmas presents.

A, next, which Justin, you said. Yeah, might wanna separate your bank account now and kick him out. Dismissed up. Yeah. 100%. OP probably would be able to afford Christmas if she wasn't also supporting another adult.

He's deadweight. And the amounts of stress OP must be under supporting them all. She needs to do herself and her kids a favor and kick him out. If he doesn't care enough about his kid's quality of life enough to stick it out at a gas station job because he doesn't feel like doing it, he's a shit father no matter what he says.

Well, that's what makes me mad is that I thought that he got fired from the gas station job. But the fact that he was like, it's not my passion. Well, yeah, that's fine. But what your passion should be trying to provide a happy, comforting home for your children. Yeah.

So do what it takes to make that happen. Alex scrubbed a lot of toilets. She did. And made. The poor girl found rats. Like she was grinding for her baby. She was grinding. I haven't finished it yet.

I haven't finished it either. We saw the toilet cleaning part, didn't you? I'm on like episode two. I think she cleans toilets in one. Yeah. But I didn't see rats. Oh, sorry. Spoilers, spoiler alerts.

There's rats. Shit. But what I think we should definitely do is find OP and start a donation for her because this is recent. And I already messaged her. Hell, yes, let's do it. So we will see. I hope she responds.

I'm sure, I mean, this post kind of took off. So I'm sure, I'm sure there's a lot. Not the only ones. Yeah. Yeah, because it's got 12,000 upvotes on just her stuff. And one of the comments has 21,000 upvotes. So a lot of people have seen this. So I have messaged her and hopefully we get a response.

But Justin was talking about doing some sort of like Christmas thing. So it would be cool to maybe put a GoFundMe together and tell her to get a separate account before. Yeah, let's go. Let me see if I can scroll. Like I'm really scrolling through the comments. All of them so far are not the asshole.

Let me just see if we get a different perspective. I definitely don't think she's an asshole in terms of her and her husband's community. Like aside, it's really just the kids. Yeah, which is what this one says. He took the money for his little kid's Christmas and gave it to his brother. What an asshole.

Money that you earned and saved and he didn't contribute to at all. What an asshole. Without asking or discussing it with you, what an asshole. His family knows he's unemployed and they hit him up for a lot of money anyways. Fucking family of assholes.

Because his brother didn't pay child support, another asshole. But what you did is throw the shit of your marriage on your kids. It's not their job to deal with that. It was a really bad move on your part. I get that it is a messed up situation. You are desperate, frustrated, betrayed, angry,

but dumping that on your kids is not okay. You are an asshole too. He needs to pay you back ASAP. So does the brother before Christmas and get your money into a private account that he can't access. Everyone sucks here. That comment is exactly how I feel.

I agree. I think that I, now that I look at it, yeah, the kids know what's going on, but they're also nine, 11 and five. It really isn't fair. I just know that there's moments when I was younger that I don't know. I just think that there,

it just, it really does impact us. It shapes you. Certain comments that, especially when your parents are talking about your parents, like you don't want to hear that. You don't want to hear it negatively. No, parents, like it doesn't matter how old you are. Your parents shouldn't badmouth each other.

Like you're the kid, you're not the middle man. Their relationship is totally separate from you. You might have to experience some of it, good or bad, but that's not your problem. That's not your weight. That's not your burden to carry. Doesn't matter how old you are. I almost wonder if parents do that

because they're worried about the other parents saying something. So they feel like they need to like get ahead of them and say something first. And that's real bad. And that's an insecure attachment. That is like. The thought of my sons growing up without me

inspired me to quit smoking. I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays and lighters. I started exercising instead of smoking. Staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key. I kept on trying. Learn something each time. Do whatever it takes.

No matter how many times it takes. We did it, so can you. For free and confidential help, call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit www.waytoquit.org developed by CDC. That is feeling insecure in your attachment and your relationship with your child to where you need to sabotage the parent and talk about about the parent.

Yeah, because I know a lot of people that have had divorced parents that have talked about how that has been a dynamic for them. They're like, it's not fun. It's not fun to experience as a child. I also think that the divorce rate probably was increased when we were kids. We're all in our 20s.

I don't know, when we were kids. I think it was a little higher. It's a little higher. It's slowly going down right now. Yeah, so I think that was a lot of new territory for people to work through. Our parents didn't really know how to work through that because there are a lot of, at least for me,

my parents' parents, my grandparents, were together till they died. So I think a lot of our grandparents stayed together, did not get divorced. So our parents' parents, they didn't really experience this. So this was like new territory for them dealing with being divorced parents and having their children in the middle.

And we're learning now how that does have an impact. It's tough. We have to figure out how to deal with our own emotions while protecting the children, while navigating, I don't know, it's tough. I think that comment said it perfectly. I think that is really the best one. And it's kind of sad because it's buried.

It should be top. It's buried. It only had 4,000-something upvotes, but I scrolled really pretty far to get that one. I had 4,000 upvotes. I feel they missed. I got 4.7 karma on my account. Oh, wow.

Yeah. What'd you say? You didn't tell me about this. I have a hidden account. This is a trophy moment. Yeah, I got some good karma on my account. What did you say? I need to know.

No, not on this thread. I know. I've made good comments on other threads. I know, but we need to discuss this offline. I'm super curious. I get anyways. My best friend's famous check. No.

On Reddit. 4.7. No, that doesn't do it. All right, well, I think it's cool. Yeah. Well, I hope she responds. I just really hope she gets out or at least gets a separate account because this is not healthy.

At the time of recording this episode and editing it, I still have not gotten a response from OP on this post. So in the description, I'm going to be linking another couple of holiday fundraisers and fundraisers I know about that are going on that I think are great causes to support. So if you'd like to give back this holiday season, these are a couple of my favorites. You'll find them in the description of the podcast,

YouTube description, and I'll link them on our Instagram. Thanks, guys. OK, up next. Moving along. We got a couple more. I want to give the listeners a shot. OK, here we go. Christmas uninvitation.

I, 26 male, want to refuse to go to my family's party because my fiance, 26 male, is extremely uncomfortable around them. Just two years ago, I was at work when I received a call from my mom. She told me that I was uninvited from my family's Christmas party that was to be hosted by my aunt, R55, also my godmother. My aunt had explained to my mom that it was because I

planned on bringing my fiance. And if I came without him, I was more than welcome to attend. To which I replied, that simply will not happen. I wasn't going to spend my holiday without my fiance. I was devastated and heartbroken. I'm at work, crying at my desk. I come from a very religious family, so I had kind of expected some people to be better.

Homophobic. Yep. So the real reason I was upset over this was because my own mother hadn't stood up for me and the person I love. Now, about a week after receiving the uninvitation, my uncle, sorry for the confusion, large family, had texted me to tell me that he had taken over the Christmas

party planning so that C was able to come. It was to be held at a local pizza parlor with a lower level for private parties. Even though this gesture is extremely thoughtful and my uncle bent over backwards to help make, quote, the family gaze feel included, we can't help but feel like we are stepping on toes. We feel extremely uncomfortable because R shows up.

Part of me thinks that she comes solely to make us feel unwelcome and out of place. Are we assholes if we RSVP and say that we aren't attending this year? Even though this annual party was started, so we would actually receive an invite? No, not. I love the uncle because that's amazing.

But I also understand the feeling at the same time because it's like, well, are we just gonna force it? It's like, just let people live. I'm really torn with this one. Lauren's just silent. You're thinking. Why are you torn? So I feel like they went last year and like, fuck R.

Don't let R ruin your time with your family. Except if everyone refers to them as the family gaze and everyone makes them feel like shit and unwelcome, then no, don't fucking go. If you truly feel unwelcome, don't go. You don't have to go. Your happiness and your mental health and your family, your fiance should be your first priority.

Don't feel bad going, it's your call. But I also feel like don't let, if it is just the one person R, the bitch ass aunt, don't let her ruin your holidays. I'm the type of person where I would almost go to spite her, like, fuck you. You're not ruining my holidays. You are a relevant team.

I'm the kind of person who would pull some petty shit. There is an element to it though that is kind of letting her win, I guess, and getting her way of not going, but I also understand the feeling to just be like, let's avoid it. I know, that's why I'm really torn. I just wanna like, you're not gonna go

and start drama with her, but also like, they don't let her win. But are you really gonna have a great time? If there's all that energy around you? No, but it depends. Like, is the other energy bad or is it just R? True. Because after a couple drinks, like,

you might be ready to tell R what the fuck is up. Just hang with the uncle. Hang with the uncle, like, get your mom, I don't know, maybe the mom is at point two because she didn't stick up for him. Right. Which was shitty. But I don't know, I'm really torn.

Yeah, I think, I mean, a little different from what you just said, I wouldn't care about like pulling that shit about being like, I'm just gonna show up here because just in spite of you, like, to show you I'm having a good time and a lot of whatever, I wouldn't wanna do that. I would think I would just wanna pretend that they weren't there at all.

Or... Oh, I'd pretend they're dead. I mean, but by showing up is the action here. It's either show up or don't show up. Yeah, I agree with you, though. Like, it depends on where they're feeling. Like, if they really feel uncomfortable, like, with the entire thing.

But if they're just letting one person, like, come and ruin their day, no, fuck that. Just don't acknowledge them. Or if they come up to you, like, cool, say hi and then bye. Like, spend your time with people that you do care about and that you do wanna be around, like. Right, because you would be missing your whole thing. Yeah, and it's just like, life is so short.

Like, we need to stop just doing things for other people or because of other people. Like, just do what you wanna do for you. Like, it's the holidays, just enjoy your time. And if it's not with them, then fuck it. It's not with them. If it's with them and you pretend that person doesn't exist or you acknowledge them and you move along, cool.

Like, just do what makes you feel good. Yeah. That was beautiful. Is this a lifetime movie? It could be. Are you still torn? Oh my God. No, I think Lauren said it best.

I, if you don't wanna go, go hole up in a cabin and have some good sex and marshmallows, s'mores. Justin's favorite, s'mores. Do it like a s'more. I like s'mores too. I enjoy a s'more. Do you have s'mores? I do, we can make s'mores after.

Yeah, or you can go. Well, God, it's so fucked with this new variant, but you could pull a Lauren and go to Hawaii for Christmas instead. Yeah, I did do that last year. I did do that. Are you guys ready to feel good? Yeah.

If you've already feel good. Yeah. I feel good. I'm putting my Olaf hood back on because this one is so cute and wholesome. Oh my God. Should we all do it then? Yeah, hood's up.

Justin, are you gonna do it? Okay. He thought about it. He really did. I was thinking. I brought my hood way up. You look like you're from Star Wars. Like the Sith or something.

They did you dirty with this. Yeah, what's up with that thing? What do you call that? The snowball at the tip of his Santa hat? Yeah, it's supposed to be floofy. It is. They did him dirty. Don't touch my ball.

It's really bad. It's so bad and ugly. We need to return this. I feel like a horse with blinders on. Oh my gosh. Same. Let's get in to the holiday spirit of giving. We love it.

We love it. Okay. This is on Best of Redditor Updates and it originally came from an Ask Reddit thread. And the question was, what awesome holiday gift did you get someone that you can't tell them about yet, but want to brag about?

And so with 75 days until Christmas, here's the comment, and this was posted a month ago. So that's why I said 75 days. What about a say? We only have 24 days left. Well, by the time this episode comes out, it'll be like two weeks.

I just told Morgan about a present that I got from my brother-in-law. It's so good. And I was so excited. It's so good. I'm really excited about everyone's presents this year. Justin's like, am I a brother-in-law? I could be.

Okay, so here we go. My brother's been saving to take a course abroad next year. It's a huge deal for him and a game changer career-wise. I don't fully understand why or the details, but he's been saving for a year, sold his car and stuff. So it's a huge deal for him.

He's supposed to have the money to pay everything before December 30th. When he goes to pay, he'll find out it's already paid for. The best part is he gets to believe for a week all he's got from me is a pair of socks. So that was their comment. And so now we go into the edits.

Edit, wow. I didn't expect this reaction. Thanks everyone for the awesome comments and for the awards because this community is truly amazing. I thought I'd provide more info here and try to answer some of the questions. We live in Brazil

and he's going to the UK for a year and a half. He'll be taking his master's there for a year and a half. This has been a goal of his for a while and according to him will help him get a good job in a larger company in one of the capitals. We live in a small town, not a lot of options for someone in his line of work. As to why he's been saving for a whole year,

we're in Brazil. Exchange rate is one great British pound to 5.47 Brazil, BRL, so Brazil money. I'm sorry, I don't know what it is. That alone is quite the challenge. He's been saving for tuition and accommodation for the first two months and is paying through a local travel agency.

The owner is a close personal friend so I'm not very worried about him paying twice. To everyone worried about the car, he was going to sell it anyways. It doesn't make any sense to keep it stored for a year. Cars are quite expensive in Brazil, so yeah, he's going to use the money towards the trip. Now he can use it to explore.

Oh, and I'll post an update here once he finds out. Edit, update. Yes, let's go. So he got the socks. He has until the 30th to pay for the course so he hasn't found out yet. But he did his best to look happy with the socks. It was pretty clear he was disappointed though.

Oh. That's so cute. I will need to travel back home tomorrow so I won't be around to actually see his face when he finds out, but I'm sure he's going to call slash text so I'll post an update with the reaction. Update, he found out.

As promised, here's an update on the reaction. He called me and he was crying. He said he called our father to ask if he could borrow a couple grand to be able to make the payment today. And my dad told him it had been paid already. He couldn't believe it. Wow.

He kept saying thank you and that he hopes someday he can pay the gesture back. I told him he more than did already. He was there for me every time I needed him. Oh my. Oh. This is why you don't read happy stories like this when you're about to get your period.

He went out of his way to pull me out of the gutter and I was down. I was always able to rely on him. He cried, I cried, we cried. Mogan cried. Too hot takes crying. We talked about the UK, about his plans for the future and decided that now he has spare money to explore Europe.

We'll take a trip together next summer. I wish I had been there when he found out. Thank you everyone for your kind words in the comments. Love. I'm like balling, this is not cute. I didn't read, I didn't read the end. I wasn't prepared. Someone goes, successful prank story on Reddit.

I'm so surprised. Next comment, I always knew wholesome pranks were possible but could never think of a specific example. Now I have one. Oh my God, there's a whole subreddit called wholesome pranks. I'm gonna go subscribe right now. I fucking hate pranks. You guys know this.

I actually hate pranks. I hate all fucking pranks but maybe wholesome pranks will turn me around. When you were saying you guys, were you talking to me and Justin or the audience? Everyone. We're all family here. Okay, just one day.

We're all family. Yeah, okay, this sub is, it looks promising. So we'll see how it goes. Maybe we'll have a wholesome pranks episode. Oh good, look at this comment. Basically they quote and they say, he cried, I cried, and then they go, we all cried. This is lovely.

I'm showing it to my kids. If I have kids like this, I'll be the most successful person ever. Amazing. Amazing. I wish you would have cried as hard as me. Me? Yeah. What I was tearing up the whole time.

I just want someone to bawl like I do. I feel so happy. I wasn't audibly crying because I'm not talking. You were talking. Yeah. I know it's really hard to read through tears. Yeah, but no, that story made me tear up. That was really sweet.

Perfect way to end, right? Yeah. Holidays are tough, but sometimes there's magic like this. There is a lot of magic. I think there's a lot of good out there. There is, and that's why I was saying this account that I follow, I think everyone else should. This is not any type of collaboration,

but this guy's name is Jimmy Darts, and I just think he is a saint. Lauren, maybe we should find him and you should go on a date. Oh, wow. I never, I didn't think about that, but. Look at this, we're just making out here. When we were talking about the dating story

on Dave Ryan's show, I literally want to put together like a dating show of my own now. I've always wanted to play matchmaker, or like a speed dating meetup or something where we have like two hot takes dates. I feel like I wouldn't be like a good like dating show type of person.

I just, you like to focus on one person at a time. Yeah. Get to know them. Yeah. Bond. Yeah. But also you'd crush the bachelorette. You think so?

Did you see that the bachelorette the other day? A, went to third layer of the skate park I went to growing up. What the heck? B, they went on a date and they walked, Josie's snapchatting me. They walk right by Josie's high school. Justin's aunt was out here visiting and I go, yeah.

I go, yeah, Lauren used to date the guy that's on the bachelorette now. I met him, I think the first time I met him, it was at a party at the hockey house at the University of Minnesota. And he was like standing outside by this scooter, like pretending it was his scooter when it was one of the hockey guys.

And I like walked up and like me and friends and he was like, oh hi girls. And I was like, oh hi, like nice to meet you. I was a fucking freshman. I was like, I was just trying to be nice and like make friends. And he's like, yeah, do you like my scooter? It wasn't his scooter. Wow.

Yeah, he wasn't a scooter guy, was he? I don't think so, but all the athletes got scooters. I don't know, I don't know. But other than that, happy holidays. Happy holidays. I'm emotionally drained. I hope you liked our new neon. Oh my God, it's so awesome.

I'm literally sweating so much right now. I can't even think about anything else cause I'm sweating. It's hot. It's beautiful, Lauren. Thank you. That was a good one. But sign us off, Lauren, you got it.

If you signed us on today, you got to sign us off. All right, well, this is a lot of pressure. I don't know how you do it, Morgan. You like how we're just looking at you. Well, I would just like to say that peace and love and happiness to everyone throughout the holidays. Let's not take everything so seriously. Let's think about inclusivity.

Let's think about love. Let's just celebrate and drink hot toddies. Hey. Anyway, until next time. Until next time. Until next time. Bye, guys. Bye.

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