Two Hot Takes - 50: Chaotic Couples ft. TINX

Episode Date: January 20, 2022

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Tinx!! TikTok's favorite big sister comes on to give her takes on these relationship and dating dilemmas. These chaotic couples gave us some serious jump scares... Partners: Manscaped.com   Promo code: THT20 HelloFresh.com/THT16   Promo code: THT16 MERCH :)) www.fanjoy.co/collections/twohottakes Appreciate your support <3  https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes

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I'm so nervous. Why? I've been following you on TikTok since the very beginning. Oh my God. And when I first started this podcast, I made a list and I was like, who are my dream guests going to be? And you were the first one on it. You're so sweet.

So I'm very excited to have you. I'm so happy to be here. If you're watching on YouTube, you already know who it is. I don't even think there needs to be an introduction, but if you're listening, we have tanks on the podcast today. So excited. So you're kind of a little relationship guru. Your people love you.

Your Ask Me Anythings are flooded with relationship advice and relationship problems. So we're going to stick to the bread and butter today. Let's do it. Relationship problems. I cannot wait to get into it. Okay. Let's dive in. So we're going to start with a listener right in.

The title is Engaged After Three Months. Okay. Yeah. Pretty fast. Sorry, I'll reserve judgment. Let's keep going. No, I like it. I like it.

Speak from the heart. My 24 female friend met a guy on Bumble 24 male in August of 2021. My friend group has met him once and he seemed okay at first. To give a little background, my friend is the life of the party. She loves to dance and have a great time. She is very chatty and always positive. Since she started talking to this guy, she has become passive aggressive, negative and won't touch alcohol, extremely out of character for her.

Myself and my friends expressed our concerns for her leaving events early, lying and just not acting like herself. She got very upset and started defending this man she barely knows. Me and my friends chose to ignore it and hoped the storm would pass and she would break up with this guy. Well, come Christmas, he proposes to her. They went on a little trip where he proposed as soon as they got to the hotel room. How romantic.

And her exact words were, I had a 32 minute panic attack on the bed before I could give him an answer. Like, excuse me? She is so deep into the honeymoon phase of this relationship, she doesn't see any of the red flags. The one time we met him, he ordered a well done steak at a four star restaurant. She's already talking about a house and kids and she still lives at home with her parents and so does he.

In fact, he doesn't even have a job. At first they were going to be engaged for a few years before tying the knot. Well now, the wedding is in August and we have no clue what to do. Please help. Wow. That is honestly worse than I thought. It's pretty bad. It's pretty bad.

I think off the bat, I'm going to say this is a classic case of boyfriend sickness, which is one of my terms. And boyfriend sickness is a very, very serious illness and it's on a scale from one to ten. This sounds like a ten to me. This is, yeah. This is a ten. This off the charts. This is where your personality begins to change and you start to treat your friends differently

based on who you're dating. And I have actually had it two and a half times, I've recovered, made a full recovery both times. Thank God. Yeah. I only had it like a four and a seven. But this girl obviously has it super bad and why it's so concerning is because her personality is changing, right?

The way that she's treating her friends is different and the fact that the writer mentioned that she was lying, that she's leaving early, she's not hanging out with them one-on-one. Also the fact that they've met him only a handful of times and this is, I don't even know where to begin. There's so many red flags. So first of all, I think this is boyfriend sickness. And one thing I'll say right when in the beginning of the writing, she said, oh, she's the life at the party.

She's so fun. And sometimes those people can be a little impulsive, right? Because they love the high impact, that rush of energy, that's one that I have. What else do I want to say? 24 is extremely young. So young. It's extremely young and three months is extremely fast. Do you even know his middle name at that point?

You don't even know his middle name. I think when you get a little bit older, if she was my age, I'm 31, if she's my age, things tend to move a little faster just because you've been in relationships, you know what you're looking for. 24, to me, is still an infant. I had no idea who I was at 24. I was still about to move three different cities, have a million different jobs. You're not even a fully formed human being until you're, I think, 26.

So that is really concerning. And it's sad. In these situations, it's so painful for the friend group because you are not only worried for your friend, but you're also losing your friend. Also the fact that he doesn't have a job. Very concerning. Totally, things are tough right now, but you would hope that someone would make sure that they are stable before.

It takes, in my mind, two people who are in a good place to form together to make a good solid foundation for a marriage. If they were just messing around, that's one thing. If they are truly going into this, thinking this is going to be there forever, I don't know, there's a lot to unpack here. Can't really agree. Especially talking about a house and kids. My first thought too, unemployed, I'm like, okay, well, what does the ring even look

like? I'm a materialistic bitch sometimes. But it's like, yeah, that definitely, and so wait, sorry, is he living with her parents? She's living with her parents, this girl. She still lives at home with her parents, and so does he. So I'm not sure if he's living with her or if he's just at home. Either way, it's not giving maturity. It's not giving stability.

The whole thing seems super impulsive. Also, the trip, and right when they, to me, it sounds like this guy might have some issues, because why is he proposing so fast? Why is he, I would love to know how old he is, it didn't say. 24. He's 24 too. They met on Bumble. Okay, they're both 24.

Okay, yeah. I mean, gosh, I know that some people meet their forever person that young, but none of the language, it wasn't like, wow, they're so perfect together, but I think they're a little young. It was like, everything about this is screaming wrong, and also their babies. She's changing her whole personality. It sounds like she's really muting herself to fit him. And that's what boyfriend sickness does, is it causes you to lie to your friends, and

the worst part of boyfriend sickness is that you genuinely think in your head, like, oh, my friends don't know the real him. No, your friends and your family always want the best for you, and that is one of the worst symptoms of boyfriend sickness, is you get that twisted in your mind. You think they don't know him. They just want me back to my party days, like, this, this, and that, no. Nine times out of 10, your friends are simply concerned for you, and they miss you, and they just, it's concerning.

I always say to my followers, a boyfriend should either make your life not change at all or enhance it. Like, that's the only two things. Like, either he just slots right into your life, and it's good, or he makes it even better. He doesn't make you lose friends. He doesn't make you do impulsive things. He doesn't try to get married in three months. Like, this is all, this is all wrong.

Completely. Completely agree. Yeah. If you're listening, because I know this is a listener right in, just send this episode to your friend, maybe. Yeah. I was so sorry. We really didn't say what, my, I tend to think that with a, when someone you're friends

with is, has a bad, or a partner that you're concerned about, I think you have one shot is what I always tell people. Like, you know, sometimes people will give you a window and say, oh, what do you think of Bill or whatever? Or you just kind of have to go for it. I do think in this case, because it's so severe, you are within your right to sit her down and say, listen, like, we're so happy if you're happy, but we just want you to know we feel this is so fast and, you know, we've noticed some changes around you.

We want you to be happy. We love you so much, but we're just wondering, like, you know, have you thought this completely through? Yeah. It reminds me of the show. Did you see marriage or mortgage on Netflix? No. Oh my God.

Do I need to watch? It's really good. It's dramatic. It's with these two women in Nashville that like pick couples and they go through looking at houses and looking at wedding venues. And at the end of the episode, they pick marriage or mortgage. And so there was this young couple. I think they were like 22, maybe not even done with college.

One played basketball, one did something else. And so they were picking. Their parents were either going to give them like $125,000. So it was like, it basically covered their down payment or their wedding. And these dummies, they both lived at home with their parents. They picked the wedding. And after the wedding, they both went back to their parents' house and that's where they both lived.

You're joking. Married. You're joking. I literally wanted to just punch my TV off the wall. I was like, are you serious? That's super frustrating. Your parents were handing you a house. Yeah.

Life is short, but it's also long. And you got lots of time, girl. So if you're listening, please, August is very soon. Just have another thought before you go through that. Pump the brakes. Okay. Next one is from the archives. Seven years old.

Okay. Hi, Jan from Toyota speaking. Jan, I heard it's a good time to buy a Toyota. Sure is. From now until April 4th, you can shop all your favorites like Corolla, RAV4, Sequoia and more. Imagine yourself in a new tundra where you stopped by the home improvement store and finally built that tree house you promised your daughter.

Sarah, when did you hop on the call? Hi, dad. Mom said you were taking too long on the phone. Toyota, let's go places. See your participating Toyota dealer for details. Dealer inventory may vary. My husband, male 26, sent me, female 26, an immature inflammatory email as I was driving to the airport for a 10 day work trip.

Now he has cut all contact. My husband and I have been together for five years, married for two of those years. We just bought a house five months ago. No kids yet. Our lives have been crazy busy though. We spent all spring renovating our new house. At my job, I was given nearly double my usual workload after some of my colleagues were laid off.

I gained some weight in the winter and have been busting my ass at the gym to get rid of it. Yesterday morning while in a taxi on my way to the airport, husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone. He's never done this. We always communicate in person or by text. I open it up and it's a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won't miss me for the 10 days I'm gone.

Attached is a spreadsheet of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1st with a column for my quote excuses. Using verbatim quotes of why I didn't feel like having sex at the very moment. According to his document, we've only had sex three times in the last seven weeks out of 27 attempts on his part. This is a side of him I have never seen before. Bitter, immature, full of hatred. In person, he'd been acting normal the whole time.

Maybe a little standoffish in the last week, but completely out of left field. Our sex life has tapered in the last few months, but isn't that allowed? We are adults leading busy, stressful lives. I cook for him, I do his laundry, I keep our house clean and tidy. It's not like our sex life was going to be this way forever. It was a temporary slowdown due to extenuating circumstances. I immediately tried phoning him three to four times before getting on the plane. No answer.

When I landed in my destination city, I tried calling two more times. No answer. I texted him saying we needed to talk, and he needed to call me at his earliest convenience. No response. He's never intentionally ignored my communications before. I pretty much stayed inside my hotel all evening waiting by the phone, then cried myself to sleep. It's now morning, and he still hasn't contacted me.

I am supposed to be visiting clients for the next nine days on behalf of my company, and I'm an emotional wreck. Why is he putting me through this? What the hell am I supposed to do? Wow. That is so nasty. Despicable. That's the word that comes to mind.

That is so nasty and cruel, because this is someone that you're not only supposed to be in love with, you're in a marriage with. You have built a life with this person for five years, and to be so cruel to them like that is just, to me, unforgivable, and obviously at the time that she's writing this in, she's in such immense pain and shock. She can't really even think straight, but to me, I don't think I would ever be able to get over the cruelty, because that really shows you more than what's going on in their marriage, which I'll get to in a second.

That shows you what type of person he is, and let me tell you, it's not a nice one. To make a spreadsheet and to do this sort of gotcha, like, oh, I've been keeping tally, is so immature, mean, and also to state the obvious, why didn't he just say after two or three times, hey, babe, I've been trying to have sex with you, I feel like we connect so much in that way, and I've been missing that part of our relationship, is something up, or can we make time, can we go on a date on Saturday and then maybe have sex that night. That is the way to do it. If you can't, people aren't mind readers.

How was she to know? She's obviously got a ton on her plate, and to place all the blame of their dwindling sex life and the delta in their emotional connection right now on her is mean and cruel. It's almost kind of like I don't even need to discuss the other part, because to me, leave this guy. I wouldn't want to have kids with someone who was mean. No, we have the spreadsheet too. I have the spreadsheet.

Oh my God. Yeah. So he's got it organized, dates, like the columns are dates, a sex column, and excuse. So for some of them, I'm watching the show, it's a friend's rerun, the next one, I feel sweaty and gross, I need a shower, didn't shower until the next morning, nonverbal, I'm exhausted, I'm still a bit tender from yesterday, nonverbal, I'm trying to watch the movie, fell asleep 15 minutes later, I'm too drunk and ate too much. All valid.

Like excuses. Yeah. And also, by the way, it's like sex ebbs and flows in relationships, especially in long-term relationships, and I will admit that it definitely feels bad to be rejected sexually by your partner, I totally appreciate that. But the worst thing that you can do is then turn around and be like, this is your fault. Because she might be completely oblivious that she's rejecting him. She might be completely overwhelmed with work, not feeling her best, she said she gained

some weight, like there's sex is so, it is different for men and women, for women it's I think far more emotional, it's a lot more to do with your mental state that day, how you're feeling about your body, how you're feeling about work, we really internalize things, why do you think it's so much easier for men to orgasm than women? We have to be in the right, most of us, I know I'm generalizing, but most of us have to be in the right mental state, we have to be relaxed, and obviously she has so much going on, and instead of supporting her and talking to her as an equal, as a partner, he's turning around and using this as some sort of a gotcha, that's one part.

And then the cruelty of it all, not to not answer the phone after he's dropped such a bomb, and to do it when she's on a work trip is unbelievably malicious, to be honest with you, if I were her, I would be like, this is not for me anymore. Oh no, this is a marriage ender for me. I think the timing, the way he set it up, he did it on purpose so she wouldn't be able to have a conversation in person, she wouldn't be able to fix it, he wanted her to stress and be in her head, that's why he's stonewalling her like this. When I think about it, after thinking about it for a few minutes, it's actually clear

that he has trouble communicating, because he didn't come to her like an equal and discuss their sex life in a timely manner, he waited till it was all built up, and then he sent this awful dropped a bomb of an email and then refused to talk to her, so clearly he actually doesn't have the maturity or the courage to speak to his wife who he's been with for five years, which to me is just despicable. I know, they are 26 too, which is young, but like, so they got- That's why you shouldn't get married to me, I'm just saying. I know, well they've been married for two of those years, they got married at 24.

Yeah. But like- So to the girl before. Do not get married to 24. Point in case, case in point, whatever the saying is. Yeah, that's really, that's so mean, I just can't get over how mean that is. Terrible. And also like I want to point out too, she says like, I cook for him, I do his laundry,

I keep the house clean and tidy. I don't think a lot of guys realize like, they're like, oh well my partner didn't ask me to do any of that, it's like, no, like you're going to have a happier wife, you're probably going to get more sex if you just do some of those things, take the weight off her plate. It's a partnership, I mean for the love of God, I know this is from the archives, but today, you know, if you're in a relationship and you're thinking about how to divvy up the tasks of the house, like come on, it's 50-50 and it's just not, we just can't have

the woman doing all the cooking and cleaning and the job and being the sex machine. I mean, come on, what's going on? We can't do it all. No. As much as we'd like to believe. This was posted seven years ago. There's no update on it, so we have no idea. I wish I knew.

I hope she's with a really sexy, loving guy. I hope she's like with a chef who lives in Brooklyn, who cooks her like delicious toast with ricotta every morning and goes down on her a lot. That's just my wish for this person. This sounds like the dream. Right. Doesn't everyone want that? Everyone deserves that.

I love that. Well, speaking of sex, guys, do you lose interest in a girl if you have sex on the first date? It has happened to me several times over the years that guys lose interest on getting to know me if we have sex on the first date. I've been at most offered friends with benefits because they, quote, don't see me as girlfriend material. If it's in the air, I like to let things flow to that point. I'm very passionate and I enjoy sex a lot.

For me, the best type of sex would be in a relationship, though, so I do meet people with intentions of getting to know them. I find it interesting that having sex soon would, quote, not make me girlfriend material. I don't base my boyfriend material criteria on if a guy has sex with me, but in overall compatibility, how he treats me and others and his overall character. So we're going to talk about box theory. We're talking about it. Okay.

So just a little refresher for anybody who doesn't know. Box theory is my theory that when men meet you, they put you into one of three boxes. Number one, they want to date you. Number two, they want to hook up with you. And number three, they want nothing to do with you. So number three is very simple. If you're in that box, move on. Where people get confused is the date and the hookup box.

Now I, in my experience, watching my friend's date for the past decade plus myself dating in multiple cities for the past decade plus, guys decide pretty quickly whether you fall in the date box or the hookup box. And there's not a ton that you can do to alter what they think of you. And some people say to me like, oh, tanks, that puts all the, you know, all the power in the guy's hand. And I usually say, well, no, because all it means is you should be empowered to do what you want.

Like I don't believe in the whole manipulation of like, oh, wait three dates and then you'll capture his soul or like, oh, like if you like, you know, talk about this on the first date, he'll, he'll imagine you as a wife. Like I don't believe in that. I think you should be yourself and sleep with people when you want to sleep with people. And just kind of, you know, when you meet the right person, it'll be, it'll be right. And he'll want to date you. Like I always give the example of in high school, I got super wasted and I puked all

over this guy's shoes. Then I met him. I was a mess. I was like, you know, not, not on my best behavior whatsoever. And still the next day he was like, so can I take you out? Like I'd love to, can I take you to dinner? And I, and I've got millions of messages about like, oh yeah, like, you know, I did the same thing and, you know, really cute stories of people being like, I like barfed

on my husband the first time I met him or like, I, I, I married to my, to a one night stand, what I thought was going to be a one night stand, whatever. Um, are there exceptions to rule 100% and I think a lot of guys listen to this rule and they think, oh, we're not that simple. Like that's bullshit. Blah, blah, blah. But I tend to think that they kind of know what they know what they feel about a girl. In the case of this, um, person writing in, I would probably ask her to look at the

type of guys that she's going on dates with, if she's maybe repeating a pattern there, I don't think it's as simple as, oh, she's sleeping with them on the first date, so they don't want to be with her, to be honest with you. I think that it's more just maybe she's going for the same guy over and over again. And it's just like, I have plenty of friends. I can think of off the top of my head, five friends who slept with their current boyfriends on their first dates. I love that.

I, I just don't think that that's it. Um, so, you know, I think about the, the type of guy, think about how you're meeting them, think about, um, you know, obviously there's exceptions to the rule. Like if you meet them and in 15 minutes you're like, all right, let's go back to my place, then yeah, probably that is like a dead giveaway. But, but if you're like going on a, like a really great, like I need more information. Like, is she going on a really great date with them? Like they're vibing, everything's great.

And then, and then they go back to, to, to hers and they have amazing sex. And it's like, you know, I, to me it's just, there's more, there's, it's other stuff, you know? Um, so yeah, you just haven't met the right guy yet. Where were you five years ago when all I was dating was hockey players and shooting myself in the foot because I, I've been dating my boyfriend now for three years. Um, and he told me, I don't know, it was probably a year or two years in, but

he told me after our first date, he got in the car with his friend and he told him, like, you better print the wedding invites. Yeah. And that was after the first day. See, that's, that's why I, I, I really, I believe in my own theory now, but I have so many, like so many of my guy friends will call me after the first day and be like, I'm obsessed with her. I want to date her.

Yeah. And, and it's, it's, it's more like the theory is more to empower, um, girls or women or whatever, like it, because I sometimes it's so clear that you're in the hookup box and you're just crawling and girls are writing in and they're like, well, he responds to me every other week. And like, we hooked up on Saturday and then he texted me on Tuesday and I'm like, he doesn't want to date you. No.

If he wants to date you, he'll date you. He would be putting in a lot more effort. They're clear. They're very, you know, they're very like, that's what they're biologically designed to do. They want to, they want someone, they go get it. You'll know, you'll know when you're in the date box. So many guys say the first time I met my girlfriend, I knew I was going to date

her. The first time I met my wife, I knew I was going to marry her. Like so many things like that. So it's just like, it, it just makes me sad that girls waste so much time on guys who have clearly put them in the hookup box. That I think the time wasting, because it's like, okay, you don't want to have sex on the first date. You want to cultivate a relationship with them.

Sure. Give it like a couple of weeks, a couple of months, but at that point, you got to test the waters and see if it even works like sexually, compatibility wise. But, and then if he's just waiting to get you out of his system, then you wasted all that time, all that time, a hundred percent. It's like, I don't think that there's ever been an instance where a guy has met a girl and he's like, oh, like, you know, oh, she's in the hookup box. And then the girl waited four months to sleep with him.

And he was like, well, since she waited four months, I guess I'll date her. Moving her boxes. Like, no, what? Like that's no, no. And in the meantime, in the four months, you know, what usually happens is a girl will think, oh, like, I'm going to prove that I'm like, you know, holding out. I'm going to, I'm going to wait for four or five months. We're going to go in a couple of days.

We're going to go, you know, I'm going to make him work for it. And then they do it. And then he, he goes, sir. He's gone. And then you waited five months, like planning your imaginary wedding and Napa to this fucking fool. And it's just like, moral of the story is literally sleep with a guy when you feel good and ready, when you want to.

And if he wants to date you, trust me, you'll know. And if you're confused, then it's a no. Yeah. I, oh my God, I look back and I'm just like, the shit I fucking did. I was so obsessed with this one guy and he didn't even play in the NHL. He was in the HL like, what was I doing? Yeah. And I would drive.

I was living in LA and I would drive up to like San Fran and San Diego and like stay in his hotel rooms with him. And it was like, I didn't have sex with him for, I think it took like two years of knowing him and then we had sex and it was like, it didn't change anything. And I was like, yeah, it's exhausting. And, and you know what? It's just like, it's so clear to look back. And I'm sure now that you're in like a happy relationship, now you have such

clarity, you look back and it's like, dude, when you met your boyfriend, I'm sure it was just like, it worked. It's just easy. It's not, it's, there's no mind games. There's no drafting texts in the notes app of your phone. They just want to date you and you want to date them. And I just wish my whole thing with box series, like time saving because I spent a lot, this is not coming from a high and mighty place.

I spent literally my, most of my twenties being like, well, maybe if I just do this or maybe if I put this on my story, that will make him think that I'm this and that, not, and it's like enough with the gymnastics. It's, it doesn't work. It doesn't work. No. And nor should it. No, it, it shouldn't be so hard.

No. Like, yeah, you're always going to have to like go through conflict and learn how to work with each other, but it shouldn't be that hard. Okay. I love that theory. It's so good. When's the book coming out? Up next, a boyfriend won't stop telling me I have B.O.

I have been with my boyfriend. I know. I made sure I put on deodorant today too. I was like, God, I can't be like, I'll pee here. I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and everything has been great, except for one thing, every single day, at least once, he will tell me that I stink and smell of B.O. When we met, I showered every day, applied regular deodorant in the morning,

brushed my teeth three times a day. Now I am so paranoid about smelling bad that I shower at least twice a day. I apply new industrial strength deodorant every few hours. I have a reminder on my phone perfume and I brush my teeth every time I eat or drink something that isn't water. I feel like I'm going crazy. I didn't think I smelled bad in the beginning and I don't think I smell bad now, but I obviously smell bad to him, right?

I'm that weirdo that keeps sneakily smelling my own armpits. I've been at the doctor and he has said there's nothing medically wrong. It has honestly gotten to the point where I literally shove my armpit in friends and family's faces, asking if I smell bad. They all say I don't smell like B.O. At all. One friend even said I smelled too clean, like a lush store. I'm getting so paranoid he won't cuddle or anything when he says I smell.

I really don't know what more I can do. Um, don't do anything break up with him. Oh, that's so sad. That's some psychological mind game stuff. That's not, like there's two, there's, in my mind, there's two directions that this could go and like either he has truly like the worst sense of humor. He has like what I call little brother humor where it's like the least funny joke, but they keep saying it over and over again.

Like maybe, maybe it's that in which case you're a sick buddy. Like please move on. But more likely this is some, I'm not trying to be like over dramatic. This is like trying to keep someone under your thumb. This is a method of control. Um, and it's psychological warfare and it's deeply unkind. And the thing is like her friends or family would have said something. The fact that she's been to the doctor.

He gaslit her so hard. She went to the doctor. Yeah, that's, that's nasty and so mean. And like to make someone feel, I had a really, really awful boyfriend who I don't even talk to my followers about that much, but he would do stuff like that. You know, he would just say, he would say things like over and over again. He would be like, well, you're not that cool. You know, you're not, well, you're not that cool.

Like kind of over and over again. And at first I thought it was a joke and then it kind of like started getting in my head and I was like, is that true about me? Or he, you know, he would just say things like, I don't like this at all. To me, when people do stuff like this and what you went through, like, what's the fucking point? Do you even like me? Why are you with me then?

It's, it's a method of control. That's what's the scary thing. It's, it's, it's chipping away at someone because if you say something enough to someone, even if it's completely untrue, she's a human being, you know, she's going to start to get paranoid. And that's what's so nasty. Like, I think that that's really mean. And I think he sounds like a terrible person and I think she should dump him.

So you're right on the money. There's an update on this. Oh, there is. Oh my God. So update. I waited for him to make a comment this morning so I could talk to him. It was less than an hour after waking up and he said, quote, God, you stink. I had already showered and put on deodorant.

I snapped and asked what exactly was he smelling? Because at this point, I'm one of the cleanest people on the planet. And if I still smell bad to him, then we should just break up. He got all panicked and upset. I eventually got out of him, that this is what his father always said to his mother, apparently his father told him that it was a surefire technique to have women never leave you because, quote, she will feel too low to cheat, will love only you and will always be clean.

Needless to say, his father is wrong. He's packing his things and moving out of my house today. I, I wanted to be very careful about this word that I used before. But now that I say it, I do want to say that that's psychological abuse. Absolutely. And that is so disgusting. And I am, wow, I'm so happy that she broke up with him. What a nasty man.

What a nasty. And I hope that that father knows that he is awful. The poor mom to deal with that. I'm, that's heartbreaking. I'm like, I feel bad for him. Like the top comment on this, holy shit, that update. His father basically groomed him to be an emotional abuser. Yeah.

What? I'm horrific. Absolutely. I hope that that boy gets some therapy and tries to unlearn what his awful father taught him. And I'm glad that that girl is free of, of that nasty, nasty. Thank God, thank fucking God. The thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking.

I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays and lighters. I started exercising instead of smoking. Staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key. I kept on trying, learn something each time, do whatever it takes. No matter how many times it takes, we did it. So can you for free and confidential help. Call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit waytoquit.org developed by CDC.

Whoo, this next one, we're kind of getting into the thick of it. Like these, these people are heavy hitters. Okay, ready? I, 22 male, was worried girlfriend, 22 female was cheating. So I hid in her coat closet while she was having a girl's night at her apartment, her friend found me. Obviously humiliating me and girlfriend. Is there any way to recover from this?

I guess this is all in the title and I have a feeling Reddit isn't going to be too kind to me, but I really screwed up and don't know where else to turn. I got some weird vibes from my girlfriend this week. And when she said she didn't want me to come over last night, I was really concerned my worst fears were coming true. I was so panicked, I decided to hide in a coat closet. She never uses to see what was up. It turns out she was just having a girl's night and my girlfriend basically

told her friends all the same issues she's talked to me about work, failing LSAT, gyno problems, et cetera, and was even very complimentary of me. I felt super guilty. So I figured I would just stay put until she went to bed. Then I would quietly leave. Shit hit the fan when a friend spilled something and girlfriend told her to get the vacuum out of the hall closet. I was in the coat closet in the entryway to my absolute horror.

The door opened and the friend screamed when seeing me. My girlfriend was furious and I didn't even try to lie. I said I was worried she was acting weird and I decided to spy on her. I sat there in an apartment of four women, more humiliated than I've ever been. It's a shame. Like I've never felt my girlfriend just said to get out and never call her again. This morning she texted me that her dad and brother will be at her apartment from three to five and I need to come get my stuff and bring hers over.

That was all she said. Is there any way I can recover this relationship? God, I mean, listen, like I feel for him in that the way he's written it, I can kind of tell he's not a bad guy. Yeah. That being said, if my follower, if she was my follower and she wrote in that happened, I would say you've done the right thing. Never speak to him again.

Never. Because the thing is, if it's happened once, it will happen again. And it's, it's for him, it sounds like he has a nervous attachment style. And maybe also that he's a bit immature and doesn't know kind of how to have a conversation with his girlfriend. Jim Plately. Yeah, I mean. This is giving me Joe from you.

It's giving Joe from you. Yeah. You know, I don't, I don't really think that there is a way to recover it, nor should there be because it is a complete violation of privacy. I don't believe in going through phones. I don't believe in spying on people. I don't believe, to be honest with you, I don't even believe that thing that they do on TikTok, the like, ooh, check if my boyfriend will cheat thing where

they have someone like DM him. I just like, I disagree with that too. If you're at that point in your relationship where you need to hide in a closet, have a stranger on TikTok, reach out to your partner. Yeah, you could have an anxious attachment style and just be insecure in your relationship, but it just doesn't seem like it's working. It's not working. Like there's, there's a bigger issue.

And I just think like, you know, I really don't think that you should go through phones. I think that I think that at this point, our phone is like an extension of our brain. It's deeply, deeply personal. Yeah, I'm sorry, buddy. I just don't think that I think you should just go to therapy and try and figure out what, what made you feel like, A, that there was some reason to be paranoid

and B, that this was the right way to go about it and C, you know, what's gone on in your past that made, has made you feel like you can't just go to someone that you're fully dating and being like, Hey, I'm like, probably just bugging. Like it's probably me, but can we just chat because I'm really on edge right now. Like that's, it's not that difficult. It's certainly fucking easier than hiding in a goddamn closet. Oh, I like, how did he get in? I'm just like, I'm concerned for her safety.

I'm also imagining the friend opening it, trying to find the vacuum and being like, Oh, literally wise Joe from you here. I would have died. I would have, I'm like such a jump scare person. Me too. I would have screamed. I would have. I would have probably peed my pants out of ran, like the TikToks where like, you're

just watching a cute cat and then something flies at your screen. Oh, the worst. Like that shit gets me. So I'm like this. I would have been done for. Yeah. So all the top comments are just like, no, this is not salvageable. Holy shit, dude.

Completely agree. Holy shit. Just when I think I've heard it all. So his account has been suspended, but before it was suspended, he wrote another post and I don't have it. But in summary, it was my ex-girlfriend came to get her stuff. I accidentally, somehow when I was giving her her stuff, an air tag of mine slipped in. What?

She just texted me that she found the air tag and she's going to the police. How do I explain that? It was just a mistake. No, it's not a mistake. Wow. Creepy. Creepy. And another reason why I'm so glad air tags notify you if they've been following you.

Literally so creepy. But like therapy, therapy, like, like maybe more than that. I don't know this. There's some deep seated problems here. Choke all Goldberg vibes. Yeah. Yes, definitely. The thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking.

I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays and lighters. I started exercising instead of smoking. Staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key. I kept on trying, learned something each time. Do whatever it takes. No matter how many times it takes, we did it. So can you for free and confidential help. Call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit waytoquit.org developed by CDC.

Okay. Another topic that I see come up a lot in your AMAs is ghosting and how to end things with people. So just like kind of a funny one. If you're ever feeling down about being ghosted, I just had a girl fake her own death to not talk to me. Not a joke. Girl I've been talking to almost every day for two months tells me she is randomly dying in the ER and enjoyed the times we had. Haven't heard from her in two weeks after no answer back to my worried texts. But I did see her partying at the club last Saturday.

So there's that. Just no peeps. No matter what you may or may not have done to be ghosted, at least you didn't push them to the point of faking a death. LOL, use me for comparison. Yeah, I just, God, I really dislike ghosting. I think it is the worst energy I always say on my videos and TikTok. I think it's small dick energy and that goes for guys and girls. It's a cop out.

It's a cop out. I think it's so cowardly and I think, I get it, like every time I give the proposed text on Instagram or on TikTok advice, people are like, I could never. Oh my God. But like, guys, it is so much kinder to just be straight with some of that. All you have to say is, Hey, it's been really great getting to know you. I've thought about it over the past couple of days and I really don't feel, um, you can either say a romantic vibe. If it, if you've only been on like one or two dates or you can say, and I just don't see myself falling for you.

If it's been more than that or falling in love with you. If you've been dating you in a bit longer than that. Um, I, and then I like to say, I really respect you, which is why I wanted to be completely straight with you or up front with you. Um, I hope you find what you're looking for. Again, you're awesome. See you around or don't say that. Just be like, you know, if they're in your friend group cause so many people are like, Oh, but I'm going to see them in the bars. Then say, okay, see you around.

Like it's nice. It's not a big deal. It, I promise you, it feels like such a bigger deal and so scary to do it. I always say honesty is the highest form of kindness and dating. Do you know how much time we could all save each other if we just said what we're feeling? And like what, if, if someone gave you the options, like, okay, they get a stinging text and they're, they're a bit bummed out for the rest of the day. They're egos, little brews, or you're going to waste three, six, nine weeks of their life dragging them along. I mean, it's so unfair and it's so cowardly, I think, because it's just, it's not that difficult to.

It's not that difficult to just be upfront with someone. I know. It's like that anxiety task that you have on your list and it's like, it would really take you five minutes, but you put it off for days. Oh my God. And it's that same concept. Like in my head, I'm like, okay, it sounds really hard. Maybe they won't react well. Maybe they'll call you a bitch, whatever.

Maybe they'll get upset, but at least you were the bigger person and you had some common decency. Yeah. And it's clean and it's a clean slate. Like it's just, you know, you can, no one can ever fault you for being honest. And especially if you phrase it in a kind way and say, listen, I'm doing this because I respect you, no one can fault you for that. Maybe, yeah, worst case scenario, they say, you fucking asshole. Like worst case scenario, their egos really bruised, you know, they had really liked you or had a good time and they're really bummed out. And even like you anyways.

They're over it and they're over it in 24 hours versus a messy, you know, again, so much of my 20s was like, guys trying to breadcrumb me or ghost me. And I'm trying to like, I'm like, but if he responded and maybe if I just, and it's just like, just, just be upfront with people. Yeah. It's so kind and so cool, I think. Like really, I think it's cool. Like when people can just be totally honest and I've received those texts, I've gotten those texts and it gets easier. It does. It honestly does.

It shows your maturity too. And like you're ready for an actual relationship. Like it's so funny. I had a friend who was dating here in LA. I think she met this guy at bungalow and he where all great relationships start. It's hilarious because her boyfriend of five years, they met at bungalow too. Wow. I know it's who would have thought like she joked the whole day.

She's like, I'm not going to fucking bungalow. Yeah. So she met this guy before her boyfriend and they hit it off. He texted her plans to take her out like the following Sunday, nice brunch, whatever. It's like an hour before the date and she's like, Hey, like we still, you know, set. I'm meeting you here. He texts her back and he's like, or no, he ghosted her, didn't respond. And he texted her the next day and he was like, I'm so sorry.

I got hit by a car and then just like never responded again. And it's like, you could have just said like, yeah, it's, it's, it's just, it's not that difficult to be like, Hey, I changed my mind or like, I don't, I'm not feeling it. Sorry. You know, just good luck out there. Be brief, be nice. Move on. Move on.

Yeah. Okay. Up next. A girl that I've been dating for a few months ended things due to no romantic connection. Can I ask her to set me up with her younger sister? No, immediately. No, immediately. No, there are a lot of qualities that she liked about me, which is why she continued to

date me as long as she did. Hoping there would eventually be a spark. About four months of cordial, but fairly boring dating, she lost hope and ended things. When she broke the news to me, she told me how much she had hoped to eventually develop feelings for me, but was just unable to do so. Since she still had a good opinion of me and has no romantic feelings for me, would it be weird if I started dating her sister? She's very protective of her and only wants her with guys who she trusts and who have good intentions. Since she knows me and we've never slept together. Parentheses, sadly.

I think it makes a lot of sense to me to try my luck with her younger sister. Would it be wrong for me to ask her to set us up? In her mind, I'm just a nice, trustworthy guy who she has no feelings for. I think that makes me a solid candidate for her sister. What is this guy like obsessed with the family? Like what is he's he's also given me Joe Goldberg, but to be honest with you, like he's unhinged. Like it would be different if if it went, hey, like I dated this girl for four months, we never shagged.

You know, a few months later, I was on hinge. I matched with this girl. I realized it was her sister. Do you think it's fine to still ask her out? In that case, a hundred percent. This is like, what are you trying to, Mr. Darcy, like marry your way into the family? Like Jesus, dude, there's a million other girls out there.

Just stop. So many fashions. It's so weird. And it's also like, how does he know about this sister? Like where are they all hanging out? Did she, he see a picture? Creepy. I'm sorry, but absolutely not.

No, his line too, where he's like, in her mind, I'm just a nice trustworthy guy who she has no feelings for. And it almost makes me wonder, okay, but who are you actually? Like if you're, if you're like in her mind, it's like, well, was that an act? Well, okay. And another, another creepy thing, think about how he described their dating. He never said once how he felt about the girl, which to me is a red flag. And I always look for that when people write into me about advice.

Sometimes people are so busy with the story. They don't actually say anything about the other person, which means they don't actually care about them. And either way, he should have formed an opinion because, okay, let's look at the options, either he really liked her, in which case it's even weirder that he's going for the sister, or he didn't like her either. In which case, why is he like, why is he so, why did he carry it on for so long as well? And why is he, I don't know.

I'm just a nice trustworthy guy. No, you're not. No, you're not. Or you wouldn't even have asked this question. And, and, and furthermore, he didn't even say, like, anything about the sister, like, oh, she's really smart. Or like, oh, we met here, or this is the reason why I want to go for her. Like, he, there's something off about this person.

Completely. He likes the idea of her. Or like the idea of her. Yeah. It's like, um, other banks vibes. Totally. Like topper, you just like the idea of me. Yeah, truly.

And so it's, it's just weird. It's so weird when people like, they want a relationship so bad that they're willing to like, yeah, they're willing to do anything. And they're just, sometimes they like gamify it too much in their head where they're like, did not complete mission with this girl. What about sister? Like, it's like, no, just like go on a dating app or go to a bar. Like it's strange.

Yeah. Super strange. Okay. How to tell if a minor incompatibility should actually be a deal breaker. I, male 33, started seeing someone, female 36 recently. We've only met a couple of times, but things are going really well so far. Last date we had at her place and got take out because she had been having a rough week and day.

As much as it continued to cement my growing feelings for her and that she's a genuinely interesting and lovely human, it also brought to the fore a few things that have made me nervous about pressing on with her. However, I'm not sure if these things I should learn to live with or if they are genuine incompatibilities that would spell disaster longterm. Some are definitely a little silly slash petty and I'm including them for levity. And then there's a bullet point list. She has a pet bird.

Her apartment is kept at like 90 degrees in the winter. She can't control the temp. She loves this and also even sleeps under a heavy weighted blanket. I like to sleep in a cool room in the upper sixties normally under a big duvet. She travels a ton on a whim. I have never done much traveling and would like to get into it more, but probably not to that degree.

Mediocre, but not terrible kisser. Thoughts on how to sort through stuff like that. Have any funny petty deal breakers from past dating you can share. Always up for stories. Hmm. I am going to begin by saying, I think when you start dating, when you're like 29 and up kind of around that age, you do start to be a little bit more pedantic about things and like picky.

And this guy's like, you know, if you like her, you'll work it out. Like people have certainly worked through bigger, like, you know, roadblocks than her bird. I mean, to be honest with you, I'm going to be completely dick on the table here. If I walked into it, the thought of my son's growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking. I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays and lighters.

I started exercising instead of smoking. Staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key. I kept on trying, learn something each time. Do whatever it takes. No matter how many times it takes, we did it. So can you for free and confidential help, call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit waytoquit.org developed by CDC. Guy's apartment in the inner bird.

I personally would know it's not a match. Oh, absolutely. But I wouldn't even question it because that to me is just like not something I'm going to vibe with. No. The fact that he's made this list, first of all, tells me he doesn't really like her that much because if you like someone, you're literally blind to every small inconvenience.

Especially this early on. Especially this early on. And then secondly, it's like, buddy, like, why are you making this list? Like, why are you like, you've got too much time on your hands. Like he needs to get out of his head and into his body. He needs to go on more dates, have fun, like have a real spark with someone. And then he won't be making these like pros and cons lists. Like, by the way, I love a pros and cons list, but not at this stage in the

relationship. No, it's too early. And, and like not about a fricking bird. No. Like, so I would say, A, I don't think he likes her that much in which case really just don't, don't waste her time and don't waste your time. And secondly, like, just like feel the vibe. Would this be an egg list to you?

Does that, is that what it sounds like? I guess he's written an egg list. Yeah. Those are for girls only. Sorry, that's a tip talking. No, I'm just kidding. Um, but yeah, he, he wrote his own damn egg list. The egg list is powerful.

You can't. How does it work? I've never had one. Okay. So the egg list is for, if you're dating, I think it's a great trick for women because we, we tend to future trip and we tend to like overly romanticize a guy. Like we'll, we'll go on one mediocre date. The date will be like a six out of 10 and we're like, Oh my, I just think our kids

are going to go to school here and like, I think we'll, we would like, like this is what my wedding dress is going to look like. And so it's to like, it's to like pump the brakes and to just like chill your shit because there are always those moments, those like funny moments when you're, you start to date someone and then they'll like do something that's super weird and you're just like, Hmm, okay, that's right in your phone. Okay. And anytime you feel yourself getting like, Oh, like I'm literally

obsessed with them. I'm, you know, and you've only been on three dates with them, just read the egg list and be like, Oh, I remember he ate steak with ketchup or, or like whatever he has that, that time he had food in his teeth, like little things, whatever. Um, and then why I like to keep the egg list then, okay, say it all goes well, whatever you start dating, you're in love, blah, blah, blah, blah, you break up, you're having a mentee bee, pull that egg list back out, baby.

Just stare at it because it really does help you get over a breakup. My most recent breakup, I was looking at the egg list. I was just like repeating it like all my best friends knew it off by heart. By the end of the breakup, they were like, we, we remember he did the thing. Um, so it's just a little, it's just a little trick. I like that. Well, and it's like, I think early on we idolized people and kind of like ignore their flaws a little bit and then you go blind, you go blind, but then

I like it almost like you self sabotage yourself. Totally. In a way. It's just so, yeah, I like it's like, it brings you back to earth, keeps you grounded. It does. And I, again, none of my advice is like, you should do that. You should, it's a tool that I have to use myself because I live in my head.

I like, oh, I play out movies. I have fake scenarios going in my head at all times. Like I always like to see the best in people. I see people's potential. So it's something that I did because I'm just like, you know, I get carried away. I'm the same way. I overanalyze and overthink everything. So yeah, this, this would have helped me.

I think especially if you're an optimist and you tend to always see the best in people, you can get, you can fall really hard, really fast. So it's just like a little trick, like, you know, to keep in your back pocket. Yeah. I really like it. Okay. I'm saving one. I'm ending on a light note.

I'm passing one now. Okay. I, 21 female, am a university student. My boyfriend, 23 male is studying cosmetology and works as a hairdresser. Recently he insisted that he give me a haircut. My hair has been growing since the pandemic began and was at mid back length when he made the offer. I was initially reluctant as I had no plans on getting a haircut.

He then offered to give me the cut at half the price offered by his salon. I thought it was a good offer as summer was approaching quick and the price was reasonable too. So I agreed to it. The next day I went over to his apartment for the haircut before he began, I made it clear that I wanted a shoulder length cut and nothing shorter than that. However, he started cutting my hair way shorter than shoulder length. I asked him to stop, but he continued saying that he knew what he was doing.

When he was done, my hair was in an uneven, chin length bob. I was furious as I had specifically asked him for a shoulder length cut. He even offered to even the bob out, but I refused and stormed out. I went straight to the salon where a friend of mine worked and asked her to fix my hair. She gave me a pixie cut. When I returned home, I was pretty devastated. Not only did I have my hair cut way shorter than I asked for, but I also ended

up paying a lot more than expected as fees to the salon. I switched on my phone only to see two unread messages sent by my boyfriend. He first apologized for the cut he had given me. He followed this up by asking me to pay for the cut. This struck my nerve as I felt he did not deserve to get paid even a single cent for his horrible job. I texted him back telling him that I will not be paying for the cut and asked him to just leave me alone for the day.

It has been a day since the cut and my boyfriend hasn't messaged me since. I'm wondering if I might have been too harsh on my boyfriend. I literally hope you never see this guy again. Okay. First of all, let's backtrack. First of all, the fact that he charges, charges you charges your girlfriend. Are you, are you sick in the head? Are you mentally ill buddy?

Like, bro, it's your girlfriend. It's your girlfriend. And you asked her, you said, I want to give you a haircut. Okay. No, that's number one. He's worse than a fucking telemarketer. That's, that's red flag. Number one, that's, that's to me grounds.

If my boyfriend was like, Oh, I want to give you a haircut and also can you pay me for it? I'd be like, goodbye. It was nice to meet you. See you later. Peace out. Terrible. Then the fact that he went against your wishes is like bizarre, a

betrayal of trust, whatever, blah, blah, blah, assault, assault, literally, like assault. And then the fact that he like saw you were so upset, saw that you had to pay extra and still asked you for the money, like immediately know. Immediately know. And also, I might, something that irritates me so much is when people gaslight specifically women about if their hair gets messed up or if like, you know, that there's that viral take talk when she was like crying so much about her

nails because she, she paid all this money. She was so excited. And then they like looked really disgusting, whatever. And all the comments were like, you're going out of like, you're, this is like such an over overblown thing. Like, blah, blah, blah. Anybody who's had a bad hair, hair is very emotional. It's extremely, extremely emotional for us.

Whether that's right or wrong or what that means, we can dig into another time. But hair is incredibly emotional. And when you go from back length hair to a pixie cut, that is an identity change. That's traumatic. That is traumatic, especially when you didn't want it. Yeah, that. And it's just like, I don't care if people think that like, I'm silly

because I'm a girl and I'm talking about hair. That is a massive, massive change for your, yourself and your, you know, our hair is a big expression of like how we present ourselves. It's, it's, it's a reflection of who we feel we are. I think that is so mean. And I think that I would personally dump him. I would have dumped him if he tried to make charge me for the haircut. If he was like, babe, like, I really want to like practice.

Can I give you a trim? Like, it would be so fun. Like, please, like, it would be so fun. I'd be like, okay, yeah, sure. Give me a trim. Like, I know you're, you're working hard on your craft and like, that's cool. Um, and then like, hopefully it goes well, whatever. That's it.

That's what, that's where it should have ended. Like, not this. And, and the fact that she's like, Oh, did I go to harsh on him? Are you joking? Are you joking him? I would like hit him with a lawsuit for getting me a pixie cut, but small claims court judge, Judy, it or something, literally. Yeah.

I think I totally agree. Hair is so personal. Like the amount of times I've cried over people cutting my hair too short. Totally. And I hate that it's like, people use the excuse. It's like, Oh, it's just hair. It'll grow back. You're being dramatic.

It's like, yeah, but you have to look at yourself every day. And it's like, it is a scary moment because you're like putting your, yourself in someone else's hands and you, you have a specific idea of what it's going to look like. And, you know, hairdressers do have a very difficult job because they're trying to do, you know, their, their best work and people like want to think, want to look like Jennifer Aniston when they come out and like that's not always possible. But like what happened to her like is pretty traumatic and it's not nice.

And he has issues about money as well. Clearly. Yeah. It's just a weird dynamic. I think anyone and like how you split stuff in a relationship is like a really tricky, yeah, like dynamic. It's tough. And, you know, people have their own takes on it.

But the fact that he basically begged you to let him give you a haircut and then butchered it, he just like violated her autonomy. Totally. There was no respect of her. Well, and it's also like, if he doesn't respect her wishes about this, then clearly he's not going to respect her wishes about other things. And what this means is, what this whole incident means is she can't trust him. Obviously.

So that's like the bigger issue at hand. I agree. Comments ate him alive, rightfully so. First, your boyfriend is a dick for asking money from his girlfriend. Secondly, I don't understand why you would consider him to be your boyfriend when he can't take care of you financially, which again, money tough. But first part I like, yeah. And like people just were really weirded out that he was like going to charge

anything weird that he charges bizarre. It really is bizarre. So strange. Yeah. So there is an update with this one. Oh my God. I 21 female and back with an update. A lot of commenters on the original post told me to break up with my boyfriend.

As I had mentioned in the comments of the post, I wanted to break up with boyfriend too, but I just wasn't brave enough. However, after reading the comments, I finally mustered up the courage that I needed. I talked to my friend, the stylist at the salon about the situation and she agreed that breaking up was the best thing to do. So I called my boyfriend up the next day and told him that I wanted to break up with him to my pleasant shock.

He was surprisingly calm and replied that he wasn't surprised with my decision. He said he understood and respects my decision, apologized one last time and told me that he was glad that we could break things off in a peaceful manner. Ever since the breakup, I've been feeling a lot better. I no longer feel like I'm being controlled and spending time by myself has been great. I've also been watching a few tutorials on styling short hair and found this great style, which suits me well. All my hair just swept to one side on the top with a bit of blue dye.

I was considering buying wigs, but I have come to accept my short hair and I love the new style a lot. As someone who had their hair past my shoulders, my entire life, I would have never guessed that short hair suits me so well. To everyone who commented on my original post, thanks a lot. You guys are amazing. And if it wasn't for y'all, I would have never found the courage I needed to break up.

I love you all. That's so nice. And see that. I would say also she had like a mild case of boyfriend sickness because sounds like it because like until you have like the strength from strangers, like if he was doing this stuff, then he was doing other weird stuff too. And you just, you just get into it and you just are like, Oh yeah. Well, like, I guess this is normal.

Or like, I guess this is how we're going to do it. And then sometimes it takes literally someone to be like, no, no, no, no, no. Your boyfriend shouldn't ask you for you to pay him to cut your hair. And then you're like, wait. Duh. It's like shatters those glasses, those colored glasses. Exactly. Yeah.

I completely agree. Yeah. Good for her. So, so excited for her. Good for her and her pixie cut. Yeah. Work it girl. Work it.

Last one. Okay. My boyfriend eats tuna by candlelight. He eats tuna fish sandwiches in the bathroom by candlelight and calls it a vibe. I didn't find out about this until today, just now, when he got up and said he was going to make some tuna fish sandwiches for his bath and asked if I wanted to make some and join him. Apparently this is a regular occurrence and he's been doing it for years.

Whenever he would take a bath or smoke a dab pen in the restroom before he moved out of his mom's. I'm not like upset. I guess I'm just posting here because it felt like a confession enough. I told him that if my food touches bathroom air or surfaces, I'd lose my shit and we laughed about it. So it's not a deal breaker, but God, is it weird? I actually disagree.

Okay. Is this your dream guy? Um, so like, okay, so a few things. I want to, I want to do a disclaimer that I don't like when my food touches bathroom air either, although sometimes I have a glass of wine in the bath. However, I think in this case, you know, what's everybody has or everybody should have a few little weird rituals that they love. And in this case, I would say to her, don't yuck his yums.

Okay. Because I love, I love that like, I love an old timey phrase. And like sometimes, you know what? He's not hurting anybody. I happen to adore tuna. So like go off on your choice of bath snack. Yeah. Um, and you know what?

Sometimes you just like to do weird stuff by yourself. Okay. I do weird stuff by myself. I have weird eating habits that, you know, are strange. And I like to do them. And, and it's like, you know, your thing. And again, you're not hurting anybody. It's not weird enough.

I actually think it's really sweet that he like makes himself a tuna sandwich. I think it goes to the bath. Like, I think that's sweet. It's adorable. This is like a guy admitting his self-care routine and being confident in himself. Yeah. And you know, I feel like oftentimes guys don't indulge those little, I always talk to my followers about like sparking joy with little things in your day.

Like when you have like a strange urge to do something kind of silly or a childish or whatever, like do it because that's nice. And I don't feel like guys like play that much or they have that kind of goofy. You know, think about all the things available to women to just relax and unwind. We have face masks. We have manicures. We have, you know, like fun little stuff that we can do in our house. And I think this is really sweet.

I think tuna eater is a keeper. I agree. I, I love him. And I think it would be nice if you joined him in the bath once, once, once in a while. Cause it's good to think, but once in a while. I would get some really good tuna and join him and it, and just say, you know what? I think it's nice that you do this. I think it's great.

I want to try it. I think it's really sweet. Yeah. Maybe not tuna. I'll go the rotisserie chicken route. Yeah. I see. Okay.

That's a perfect example. That's all I eat. For, if you don't follow me, I'm obsessed with rotisserie chicken. I like to eat a rotisserie chicken standing up straight from the bag with a fork in my kitchen, always wearing a bathrobe. Okay. And some people might think that that's glam or gross or whatever, but I love it. Also, sometimes I like to eat one in the car, in the parking lot.

Okay. And that I think is on the same level as bathroom tuna. And you know what? It makes me happy. I love getting it. I call it a chicken purse cause it comes a little bag from the store. Oh my God. That's amazing.

And it makes me really, really happy. It, to me, tastes better in the car and all food tastes better in the car. Amen. Um, you know what? He's a keeper. He's a sweet man. This tuna, tuna bath. Yeah.

I'm probably about to grow some people out with this one, but I think mine is, um, have you ever had Nesquik, like the chocolate powder? Yeah. So I don't know why or how this started, but when I was younger, my mom would always make toast with a side of Nesquik milk. Yeah. And you take the toast and dip it in the chocolate milk. Yeah.

Have you tried it? No, but I do lots of weird things like that, but I'm sure it's delicious. It's amazing. It's toast and like chocolatey yummy. It's good. Unreal. And then like Wendy's chicken nuggets and a frosty. Oh.

Chicken nugget or fries in the frosty. I do a fry in the frosty. Yeah. Yeah. I do literally, you know what, when you're at home alone, you just create some weird stuff and you just, I will tell you, we can end on this. This is really bad. I don't do this anymore, but, um, I went through a phase of I would get butter

and I would dip it. I would take up like a stick of butter and I would. I ate sticks of butter and then dip it in cocoa powder. It is the best thing you got. How, how big are your bites asking for a big I was like unhinged. I was like in high school. Like I had, I don't know what was wrong with me, but I would be like, when there wasn't anything sweet, I was like, time to hit the butter stick.

Anyway, I kind of want to try it now. It sounds kind of good. It's kind of good. Don't yuck people's yums when it comes to food because everybody has their own thing. That is the best saying I want it printed on one of your merch shirts. Go for it. Thank you for coming on. Thank you for having me.

This was so fun. Slug all your socials. Where can people find you? I'm at tanks on Tiktok, T-I-N-X, and I'm at it's me tanks on Instagram. Follow along. Thank you for having me. This was a riot. I'm so glad you came on.

Make sure you check out tanks is Tiktok. It's the content you need in your life that you didn't know you needed. It's very nice. Thank you. Yeah. Can't wait to see what you do. Thank you. Thank you.

Bye guys. Bye. This week's partners, again, you guys are HelloFresh and Manscaped. I'll be sure to put all of the codes in the description of this episode, so be sure to check them out. Thank you. Hey. What's wrong?

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