Two Hot Takes - 56: Wish They Were Kidding.. Ft. Jared Freid

Episode Date: March 10, 2022

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-hosts Jared Freid!! This theme is theme is half light hearted and half crazy.. but all come together under the common theme of wish they were kidding.. What do you think of these ones? Partners: Obe Fitness:  Obefitness.com Code = THT Cocofloss: cocofloss.me/THT Cerebral: Cerebral.com/THT Living proof: LivingProof.com/THT code = THT SUPORT: Patreon!!  https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes

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Yeah, and hit that algorithm and never fucking leave it and you'll get views on views on views. Mention anxiety and a song from the early 2000s. Look at you. Narcissistic mother-in-law, toxic relationships, red flag, gaslighter. Stay on topic. So I would be the, you know, I just want to be the piano player, TikToker. I hope you make it there. I really hope you can get there. Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan, and today I'm joined by Jared Freed. It's a pleasure to be here, Morgan. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me in your amazing mansion of a home. No, no, you're gonna, no, it's just a little condo, you guys. Just a little condo with a grand piano. Baby grand? A baby grand. Sorry.

Okay, it's a baby grand piano. Well, you're from New York, so you're used to like shoe boxes. I mean, this, this room is an apartment. I know. And this is one of the rooms. I can't. FYI, so. I would not survive in New York. No. I love it, but I wouldn't survive. You wouldn't survive. Not, I don't even know you, but I can tell just from just the layout of this apartment. You'd be like, I can't, there's no baby grand. I'm too bougie for New York. I'm too bougie for New York. But the thing is like New York bougie is different than LA bougie. It is. You concentrate on different things. And that's okay. I listen, I listen, I love bougie. This is the thing. I, I, I walked in here and I was like, Oh my God, I need this in my life. Adopt me, please. Bring me in.

Take me in. I'll, I'll be the nanny. I'll, you know, do all this stuff. There we go. You'd, you'd fit right in. You are a comedian. Right. And you have not one, but two podcasts. I have so many podcasts that I just literally walk around the mic all day long just talking into it. Attached out your head. Attached my head. No, I have two. The, the podcasts that more people know you want podcasts and we talk modern dating advice. And I'm not an expert. I'm just someone with an honest opinion who is, you know, my role on that show and my co-host is Jordana Abraham. She's one of the people that started Betches. And, you know, they're a multimedia, you know, company and she's amazing as the co-host and her and I, you know, I'm like the male

position. I sometimes have to speak for the, for the icky side of things, for the, for the, you know, cause we have a lot of women that listen. So I'm not saying I know exactly, but I'm pretty sure men are pretty simple. You level it out at a guy's perspective. What's that? You level it out and add a guy's perspective. That's all it's all about. And it's, you know, sometimes it's stuff that's easy to hear. And sometimes it's stuff that's stuff to hear. And it's like, yeah, that's why a podcast is this. You can sit on the other side and not have to look people in the eye who you're talking to. Talk shit and not get hit. That's right. So we got the beauty of the internet of bots, you know, so. I love it. Well, we're, I'm bringing you over to the Reddit side today.

The theme I got for you is I wish they were kidding. Okay. So we're going to start off a little lighthearted, just funny, kind of today they fucked up stories. And then I'm going to really bring you into my toxic Reddit world. Let's do it. Okay. Let's dive in. So up first. Today I fucked up by falling into the manhole on a first date. So I was on a date with this guy. I've met a few months ago on a seminar. We've texted frequently. I didn't like him much at first. I just wasn't in the mood for getting to know someone. But the more we've talked, the more I was interested in him because he's really smart, polite and gentle. Finally, we decided we should go on a date. We met during the daytime, went

bowling, had lunch together. It was a really nice date. The talk was very good. We laughed a lot. And I really enjoyed every minute of the four to five hour date. Did you ever feel nervous when the first date is about to end? You just don't know how to say goodbye to them because you don't know if it's too soon for a kiss or should you hug or just wave at each other and go separate ways? Well, I don't wave. That's the most awkward. I can get one of those off the list. Or do you just run? Well, I was really nervous and overthinking. And in those moments, while we were walking through the square, I wasn't paying attention to anyone or anything. When we got to the point where we said goodbye, he was talking about how he enjoyed the date and

that he's looking forward to seeing me again. I was so focused on him that I didn't notice there was an uncovered manhole near us. I really hope he didn't notice it either. So we were just passing by the manhole when he stopped and said, okay, I need to go this way, blah, blah, blah. Now the manhole was right behind me a step away. And I'm telling him, okay, I'm going this way pointing with a thumb behind me. And just as I've said, see you soon. While still looking at him, I made a step back and just completely disappeared in front of his eyes into a fucking manhole. Okay, why isn't he going, hey, uh, watch out. Like he's looking at her dancing around the perimeter of this manhole. Like,

why is he like not saying a word? I don't know. This is out of loony tunes. Like, yeah. Right? Who's used to jump out? Bugs Bunny. Bugs Bunny, they would like draw it in the ground. Yes. Elmer Fudd over here fell into the manhole. There I was in a vault wishing he didn't see what happened. But as I look up, I see his face and he's asking me if I was okay. I love that she's like, it's so embarrassing. How about your ankle that just got broken? There's a rat that's living inside of you now. How do you not chip your fucking teeth on the way down or like hit your little noggin? Like, I'm surprised she made it out. Like, okay,

she goes on to say, got a few scratches covered in mud. The vault was not that deep. There were pipes in it and a lot of rotting leaves and mud. But at this point, I just wished the ground would have opened and swallowed me because I was so embarrassed. He helped me get out of there. I thanked him and I went home. I'm sure he will ask me out again because we did enjoy the date, but I'm sure I'd feel so awkward. She has nothing to feel awkward about. You just survived like a way that you could have died. Like a thousand weird ways to die. I'm pretty sure that's been on there. Oh, absolutely. And also, here's the thing of it. It's like, who should be more embarrassed? The guy who didn't say to you like, hey,

there's a manhole uncovered behind you. Watch out. Or like try to grab her, like try to reach for her when you see her backing up into this hole. Yeah. Why are we playing with death? I don't know. It is funny. It's like, you know, it is interesting to me. This is written from a female perspective. We get emails like this all the time. And it's like, where it's like, you got, it seems like there's just so hard on themselves. Like, I fell into a manhole. What will you think of me? I'll be, a real woman doesn't fall into streets uncovered, you know, holes in the middle of the street. Like, what an accident happened. I hope you're okay. Like, why would she feel awkward? You know, these are the type of things that like,

you can't hold against yourself. It's an act of God. It's, it's the universe just fucking with you that day. I mean, I mean, I'm happy she didn't break a leg. So, so bad. Right? Yeah. I mean, what do you think? What did. So the top comment on this one. So this was posted on a funny forum. So it's like more lighthearted, not, not the craziest side already yet. It's those fun Reddit commenters. So the top comment on this one, the ground already opened up and swallowed you. It didn't seem to help. Okay. OP was wishing for a second manhole after the first. And OP actually responds to that and goes also true. Yeah. I mean, yeah, this guy, well, that's the thing. The, the, it's funny that she

wrote that's also true because it's like, there is no in the history of men I've met in this earth. I don't think anyone would look at me and be like, oh, I went on a first date. It was great until she fell into a manhole. Can't hook up with her. Like, no, that is like, that is the lat like no guy has ever just like, oh, gross. I mean, it'll be a good story to tell, you know, family and friends, kids, if they make it that far, like, I think it's, it's pretty cute. Listen, painful, but cute. Yep. Painful, but cute. And also, we got to find another name for manhole. I know it's like, that's the name of it. But like, it really, even the first commenter, like they, you know, even the commenter is like making a sexualized joke about it. You know,

it's like, you know, this can't go on the wedding website. It can't get, you know, so I fell into his manhole. And it's like, I don't know, we were going into down a road that like is a froth with problematic. Yeah, what would you call it? Sewer. I think Sewer. Yeah. Helps the story. Yeah. Helps to like, glam it up as crazy as that sounds. I kind of like circle shoot. Circle shoot. Yeah, like circle shoot. It's just like a circle and then shoots down. Is it the people called that? I have no idea. That just came into my mind. I like circle shoot. Yeah, but it sounds like a little where you put the laundry laundry shoot. Yeah, you know, that my mind went straight to like, did your home growing up? Did you guys ever have

that thing where, you know, you throw it in this like one shoot and it just went straight down to where the laundry was. Like that's sort of that would be a circle shoot to me. Mine was rectangle. Mine was too. Yeah. But I could imagine a circular. Yeah. Same thing. Yeah. Well, sounds like I actually messaged her. You did. I did. I was like, so curious. I'm like, did you get asked on a second date yet? Like what happened? So I go, did he ask you out on another date? This is killing me. And she's like, haha. Yes, he did. But I got a flu. So it will have to wait. I showed him my post and he read the comments. We both laughed so hard about it. I think that's a great way to go. It's, it's good. I got a good feeling about this one. How long ago did she do

the post? The post was eight days ago. I messaged her last night at 2am. She was, she was on it. Yeah. I mean, she's watching these comments every five seconds. She's refreshing the page. I just think it's, it's, you know, we do this thing called awkward sex on the podcast where it's like, and people write in with their awkward sex stories. And usually the most crazy ones where they go, and we did it for a year, you know, like as they shared an experience, vulnerability produces vulnerability. Falling into the manhole of life brings you more falling into manholes and getting to know one another. You see who each other are. Like we had a story where this woman was dating this guy and they were sexed. He's a doctor and he's, this is a recent episode. He's a doctor.

And she was sexting. He was like, oh, it's not busy here. So he starts sexting and she's having wine. She's writing, you know, full paragraphs and she's like, he's not answering, but I'm in the zone. She's like, I keep writing. Apparently he got called into an emergency C section. So when you do emergency room stuff, you put your phone on a table so people can answer. And the nurses read it to you. I had no idea this was a thing. So he said he's doing, she said he's doing this emergency section. There's a woman having a baby. She's awake. She's not even out. And they're going, and I'm touching your throbbing member, you know, like over the loudspeaker of this woman's big, you know, baby having moment. And it's like, and then she ends the email with going, now we're

engaged. And it's like, I'm so happy. Right. And it's like these, we think these are bad things. And they're not. They're just showing you who people are and what they're here for. Like, if, you know, a guy sees a woman, he doesn't like falling in a sewer. He's like, nurses. It does show his character too, because I guess, like, if he would have been easily triggered, like he would have reacted like, are you kidding me? I mean, to me, sometimes we like, look, we, since we deal in, especially Reddit, the internet is the extremes. It's always I love or I hate. I think there's less of those people in the world than we want to believe or that would then we hear from. Like, I don't, like, I think

the response is like, Oh, that was kind of funny. And then not moving on, but like sharing this experience together, that shows you interests. And let's go out again. I don't know. I love this. I like it. Let's all fall into a manhole on first date. Let's do it. It worked out well for her. Yeah. I mean, take the, take notes. Okay. Moving along. Today I fucked up by telling my wife that I would date again if she died. Me, 36 male and my wife, Pam, 34 female have been together for over 10 years. Recently, our friend Kevin, 38 male, started dating his new girlfriend. His wife passed away about three years ago. Pam and I were in bed together. And when she started talking about Kevin, she said that she was disappointed in Kevin for dating again so soon.

She claimed that Kevin is disrespecting his wife's memory by moving on to someone else. I responded by saying that everyone processes the loss of a partner differently. I told her that I see no problem with Kevin moving on and I'm sure his wife would want him to be happy again. Pam looked shocked and asked me if I really didn't see a problem with it. I told her that I had no issues with it. It is Kevin's life after all. She asked me what I would do if she ever passed away. I told her that I can't give a definitive answer because I'm not planning on that happening. She continued to probe me and asked if I would ever date again. It almost sounds like he's going to murder her the way he answered that, right? Like,

I can't give a definitive answer now, right? Doesn't it sound like a little, like, dude? A little sketchy? To me, it's like, dude, you got to stand up for yourself in your relationship. This is the opposite of communication. I'd be like, when would I date? If I couldn't find someone at the funeral, I would go to a bar and say, I would fuck with her. She's being ridiculous. She is. Well, it gets worse. And I think by the comment, I feel like he's trying not to dig himself into a hole, but she's really digging it for him, backing him into there. So she continued to probe and asked if I would ever date again or get remarried.

I responded, probably. I love you to death and would be heartbroken if you died, but life goes on. I can't stop living my life just because you're gone. She looked drained and said, am I really that easy to get over? I told her, honey, that's not what I meant. I'll always have a special place in my heart for you. But that doesn't mean I can't love someone else. I would want you to move on too if I died. She just stared at the wall and said, I get it. It's been three days and Pam is still depressed over the whole thing. Her sister called me earlier today and trashed me for what I said. She said that I should have kept that to myself and I was a scumbag for basically telling Pam she can be replaced. Pam still won't speak to me and everything

is really tense around the house. Now Pam is fully convinced that I'm not in love with her and I'm just waiting for her to die so I can replace her with a new toy. This guy wrote a story. This is fantasy. If this is real, I'll take it at face value. I'm getting a divorce today. To me, I'm marrying someone who's unrealistic about love, who's unrealistic about our relationship, who doesn't trust our relationship enough to go down to this fantasy world where they've passed away and I can go on dates. What is he supposed to do the rest of his life? Stare at the moon and yell her name? That's what she wants. That's what she wants. Then the sisters involved. To me, there's a lack of trust in the real life.

If this is true, but I do believe this to be an untrue telling of this story. I can imagine, I'm in bed with my wife. She's like, what if I passed away and I was like, I joked around like, yeah, at the funeral, I'd pick up one of your friends. Then I can imagine her going, Jared, getting mad. Then I would go, no, no, no, maybe a couple months I'd be back on Bumble. She'd be like, what? We've talked. I'd be like, why don't you want me to wait? Maybe that would erupt into an argument of sorts, but it would be a real argument. This guy's like, nothing, nothing. He's not even from minute one in his story. I think he knew though. I think he knew she was going to get goofy like this.

Again, it's never looking at your phone. It's never going through the phone. It's the thought you had before going through the phone. The relationship was done before, what will you do if I die? Because if he can't answer, to me, this is the easiest mode. This is actually a fun conversation amongst husband and wife because there's a little bit of, listen, I'll reverse it. If my wife is like, when I'm, if you pass away, it's a little sexy to hear what your wife would be doing. Just like how she would operate. You're here, but it's also fantasy. It's so hypothetical that it isn't even the realm of reality. Are they allowed any fantasy in their relationship? That's like-

Yeah. I don't know. It's interesting. To me, I'm like, I do see this being plausible. I'm thinking maybe she's like, my first thought, I'm like, is she pregnant and like, oh, okay, Morgan, you're blaming, blah, blah, blah, on hormones. You can't blame everything on people's hormones, but I had an experience recently where I don't fart in front of my boyfriend yet. I haven't gotten there yet. And so- How long have we been together? Three years. Three years. No farts. No, and everyone tells me- No wonder you have an apartment with so many rooms. I have to go into a different one when I fart. Is this the fart room? I knew it smelled in here. Yeah, literally. I'll walk away and then you separate your butt cheeks and so

it doesn't make a noise. If it does, I'll blame it on my crocs that I wear around the house. Sure. No big deal. But he showed me a video on a TikTok about this couple that was laying in bed together and the girl fell asleep and then the boyfriend was still awake and she's just farting like a machine gun. Oh, really? And he showed me this. I literally started crying. So I'm like- Why'd you cry? I don't know. I just- I thought you were going to reference a video I just saw on TikTok. Oh, what'd you see? The guy, literally on the subject, the guy, it was like a ring, you know, the ring thing. Camera? The ring camera. Yeah. The woman wrote, this guy was on a date with, said he left something in his car and then he went outside and came back in and she has

on the ring thing, him just ripping the longest loudest fart. Oh my God. Yes. And I, you know, to bring this back to me, I got tagged in it so many times that like, what do people think of me? Like, what does that say about me? Are you known as the fart boy? Well, I used to do a joke on stage about like, being in the bathroom and holding one cheek, like, to like, silently let it out, you know, so it doesn't- Yeah, so it doesn't clap. This was the most- I'm sitting here clapping, like the last cheek slapping. Where's Morgan at, a Broadway musical or imitating a fart? It was good. It's very proper of you. You would know. We were playing charades. Yeah, now we would be on the same team. Yeah, we would really grift someone. So I watched this and I

got tagged in it so many times, but it's like, so you're doing this three years now? Yeah. Doesn't your stomach hurt? Sometimes. Sometimes. You're not Jewish. Yeah. You're not. Yeah. You are Jewish. Didn't you see the Missouza on my door? You are? Yeah. This is the least Jewish thing I've ever heard my entire life. I would be- I know. My goal this weekend, I'll let one rip. You know what? You gotta do it. You gotta go full on. Yeah. You gotta like, take his face, be like, hey, there's some, there's a stain on my pants. Can you see that? Oh my god, no. There's fart right in his face. No, no, no, no. Why would you- Baby steps, baby steps, baby steps. Three years. Baby steps. Are you guys moved in together or gonna move in together?

If we, if we get a house, yeah. I like, I have free rent, so I'm like, I'm- Free rent? What's going on in a baby grand? I live with my dad. Oh, I didn't know. Why are you in this apartment? I was like- I have a sugar daddy, actually. That's why the no farting. Yeah. There are rules in this sugar daddy. Establishment. So, listen, it's my goal. You gotta fart in front of your boys. This is enough already. You're not even li- You're living a lie, Morgan. It's time. It's time. I know. I recognize this. It's just, it's nice. Is he grossed out by it or is he the type? He just doesn't fart. Like, he literally doesn't have gas. I don't know what it is. And so, he hasn't farted yet,

so I'm just like, I just feel like I can't fart. Someone's gonna break. I was farting so much in a relationship once that like, the girl that I was dating was like, you gotta stop. What were you eating? A lot of burritos? Yeah, burritos all day long. I just had- Takaya. The Takaya, have you ever been to that place here in LA? I'm not a West Coaster. We're not just- Try out Takaya. Maybe on your last night. It's a cleanse. Oh, really? Yeah. Like, straight through ya? It does the trick. See, I was doing it so much that she was like, you, it's becoming unattractive. Yeah. And I was like, I thought it was fun. We're all just- Like, I was like, having a good time. Like, I think farts will never stop being funny to me. So,

like, I gotta get there. I will get there. I'll put it on my homework to do this. Also, this is one of those things that like, vulnerability produces vulnerability. So like, you know, like, you fart in front of the boyfriend, wow. He might think like, this is kind of hot. Like, this is, look at her. She's breaking down for me. I'll try it out. I will. So, top comment on this one about the potential death. Also, like- Divorce her with my comment. No, you're really jumping the gun though. Get rid of her. It's over. Kevin, waiting three years, I think, is like really reasonable. I think that three years is actually, like, there's no timeline, obviously. Like, grief is grief. But like, I think that's totally fair. Three years for the Kevin

friend. Carrie Pratcha in the new Sex and the City waits like 17 seconds. Well, she didn't even call fucking 911 right away. She killed him. She was ready to off him. It's very much a- Carrie did Carrie throughout that whole show. No one was surprised. So, top comment. My mom was dying from cancer. Had just been put- This is a fun thread. No, I know this person took it like, really meaningfully. Had just been put in hospice and wasn't conscious much. One of the last things she said to my dad was that she wanted him to be happy and hoped he would find someone he loved as much as she did. They were barely out of their teens when they got married and he never lived alone till she died. We were all happy when he married my stepmother. He sure knows how to pick

a partner. It's healthy to move on. He will always love my mom. Over nine years later, he still goes to her grave monthly to tend the grass and put new flowers. And he absolutely adores my stepmother. It would have crushed all of us if my dad had just lived alone and miserable the rest of his life. You know what's funny, Morgan? Yeah. You read that beautiful comment and you didn't cry. Well, the next comment? During the fart video, you did cry. I know. Well, that's on hormones. It's literally on hormones. But the comment under, just made a grown man cry. I can't wait till I find the woman of my dreams. Listen, I'm sure they get sadder and sadder and sadder. That's the thing. You tell one story, a hypothetical, what happens if I die? Then

everyone comes in. My father is like, I'm sure there's a million stories that are very much like that. And listen, this guy who wrote this three years is an eternity. That's crazy. You get back out there. It's fair. You should get back out there as soon as he divorces this woman. I'd be out there at minute one. I'd be like, can you believe the hell I was living in? Yeah, to ignore someone over this for three days is quite ridiculous. And then have your sisters call you a scumbag. That's why I don't buy. I don't know. It's out of the realm of reality for me. People are truly nuts. They're just nuts. This next one's weirder. So let's see if you believe this one.

Well, there's some that say that a man whose wife has passed away is actually the most desirable man. Isn't that interesting? It's very interesting because he has, he will commit. He's lived in a dynamic, a relationship dynamic. He was trusted by another woman. It's kind of crazy. Yeah, you want to know something else that's really nuts to me. If you want to feel valued or a hot commodity, senior men are so desirable. If you go to a nursing home and there's a good looking senior dude, all the women will love him because the ratio is so different. There's only men die quicker and so the women just, the guys at nursing homes or retirement communities have their pick. Yeah, this guy should go to his wife and be like,

it's statistically crazy. I'll die before you. You can go do whatever you want. Yeah, go fart in front of anyone you want. If you've ever had to deal with a plumbing problem, you may have felt the pain of realizing you don't know any plumbers. Whether you're trying to stop a leaky faucet, fix a running toilet, replace your old water softener or install a tankless water heater, the plumbers at any hour services can help. All you have to do is call any hour services or schedule an appointment at anyourservices.com. Help with plumbing maintenance and repairs is closer than you think. Call any hour services or schedule an appointment at anyourservices.com. No one helps more homeowners than any hour services. So up next, today I fucked up by cleaning my

son's 13 male bedroom and finding my girlfriend's 31 females dirty underwear. Well, this is like against the law, right? This is horrible. This woman took advantage of a 13 year old child. No, no, no, no. This is horrible. What are you doing? The kid took her underwear. He went and like, he took them. He sniff and draws? Let me start by saying she is not his mother. As any parent does, I tell my son to give me all his dirty laundry mostly so I don't have to touch it so I can wash them for him. One day, he was not home, so I went into his room and grabbed his dirty laundry. I noticed a balled up towel in the corner of his closet. Don't go near the balled up towel in the 13 year old boy's bedroom.

That is rule number one. Oh, it's so gross. And I just grabbed the end of it thinking it was just a towel. Nope. Outfalls two of my girlfriends recently worn such dirty underwear. I stand there coming up with crazy scenarios in my head for a second like must have gotten caught in the towel when he was done showering or when you first said it, I thought it was like in his bed. Like I didn't know why would his dirty underwear. Your mind went real dark. Yeah. Well, I'm on reddish. You know, this is the only. Oh my gosh. Or maybe it got messed up in all the clean laundry. Then their realization hits me that our laundry basket is in the bathroom where we shower. All I could say to my girlfriend was

we are about to have a weird conversation and I'm sorry. I pull out the underwear and say I found these in son's room and her jaw drops. I didn't know what else to say besides at least we know he likes you. Why did he have to tell her? I know. Would you want to know? No, ignorance is bliss. Yeah, I kind of would. And I don't want to have a private conversation with my son. Yeah. The idea that he's like, at least he likes it. Like, no, this isn't fun for her. No, this is uncomfortable. This is uncomfortable. Like, I don't know if I can trust leaving anything in this house. Like where I get dressed. Like underwear. Like these are very intimate things. Well, if he's okay grabbing your undies, what's he also not realizing? Yes, a talk has to happen

with the son. But like, I don't know. I don't know if I would want to know. I know. I wouldn't want to know. As like if this was me and I was the girlfriend in this, I wouldn't want to know. I feel like as a dad, like this is a very vulnerable 13 year old, like he's going through puberty, awkward age, he's discovering himself. And give him the opportunity to come back with the girlfriend. Like, I don't know. I'm sure someone listening is like, I would want to know, which I'm, you have a right to wanting to know as well. But I just, I don't know. I don't think he realized that like, we're gonna have a very uncomfortable conversation. He only thought about his discomfort. He didn't think of her discomfort. He didn't think of the kids discomfort. He didn't

think of like anyone else in the scenario for. I know. On the flip side though, you could be like, I would want to know just so I know like what to look out for in case this like, in case it gets worse. But I feel like at that point, like the dad's got the radar, like he can monitor if it gets worse and then like judgment call, like, okay, I should tell her now. Yeah, I think, yeah, there's a, I think the course of events is sunny boy. I found something. How do you explain this? And then it's, you know, I'm going to have to tell my girlfriend. How do you feel about that? Like if he's like, yeah, fucking tell her, let's see if she likes me. You know, like if he turns into this asshole, but it's like, yeah, I don't know. I go him, I'm parenting first and then

figuring out the dynamic later, I guess. Yeah. Well, because like, I think the first thing that little kid's going to ask is be like, you didn't tell her, did you? Yeah. Like that's like, see, if that's a problem, then maybe you shouldn't be doing things that you don't want people to hear about. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. I don't have a kid, but like this feels like he didn't really think this through. No. So he does give an update on this one and says, the decision has been made to sit him down tonight after dinner. I'm going to be short and sweet about it. Tell him that I love him no matter what. Tell him why it wasn't okay to violate my girlfriend's privacy. Then take the opportunity

to see if he wants to talk about anything, but not force him to. Is there another update where he's like, my child's been canceled. He's not allowed back in the school. No, but he does have a little comment. That's kind of funny. He goes off topic to the guy who messaged me asking to trade my girlfriend's dirty underwear for his sisters. Hey, you're disgusting. I mean, that is like the least shocking part of this whole thing is that a reddit commenter is looking for old underwear. Yeah. Reddit is a great place to sell your underwear. There's a lot of panty deals on there. What about men's underwear? Could I get anything from mine? There's a market for everything. I'm sure there is. Yeah, definitely, definitely a market for that.

Okay. Well, I think Kitto would be fine. Top comments are just, yeah, you might want to wash those extra good and someone else goes with fire. Just throw them away. Yeah, just toss. I think those are tossed. Yeah. Throw them away. They're $5. Like, let's go back to Victoria's Secret and do the five for 25 deal. Like, you're good. Go. Go. I think I'm trying to decide what ones I want to give you. Okay. Did you know that you can develop a lactose intolerance from eating ass? Who's the doctor behind that study? That can't be true. Yeah. It's like my girlfriend was really into ice cream and that really ruined things for me. Yeah. So the title is Today I Fucked Up by

Eating Ass and Developing Lactose Intolerance. That's not where it comes from. This is true. This is someone made that up to tell her boyfriend to stop eating my ass. They're like, you're going to get a tummy ache. Dead ass. This is true. So it's no secret that eating ass or rimming, as the sophisticated people say. Oh, the classy rimming. Has become quite popular in the last few years. Having never partaken in this activity myself, I decided to go ahead and give it a try last month. It was all right, more awkward than anything. And afterwards, I basically forgot about it. Fast forward to the next week and I have developed mild flu symptoms, an absolutely hideous diarrhea. I'm talking anything I ate resulted in

absolute cascades of pure liquid. It turns out I had gotten Giardia, a common stomach parasite that can be transferred through things such as contaminated water and of course, eating ass. It usually clears up. Wash up. We got to listen. They didn't do it right for sure. It usually clears up on its own within three to six weeks, but diarrhea lasted over a month and I'm still not back to normal yet. The worst part is that a common side of Giardia is becoming lactose intolerant. Oh, okay. So this makes more sense. It's not like he just thought to himself one day, well, this milk is going bad, you know, like it wasn't. And then just was like, I was eating ass. Oh my God. The dots connected. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is more plausible and scientific than I

had assumed. Uh-huh. Even though I'm mainly back to normal, I can't even eat a tiny bit of cheese or anything with any amount of milk in it without getting horrible diarrhea. Luckily, this is usually temporary, but it can last several years. I love the thought of him being on a date and the date's like, oh, do you want to like split the barata? And he's like, I hate some ass. And that's going to be an issue for me. I would be so sad about the barata. Oh, shit. So good. Yeah. One of the top comments is working in a GI clinic has made me insanely paranoid about anything related to the back door. So many things you can catch. So many of them smell horrendous. You never forget your first C-diff patient. C-diff? What's? It's a bacteria that just makes you shit constantly. Oh,

wow. Yeah. I got pooped on by a C-diff patient once. You did? Yeah. Are you a nurse of some sort? I'm an occupational therapist. Oh, so you like that's something that comes with the territory? I was doing rehab for a man with dementia and he also had C-diff and I was trying to get him to the bathroom and it was just doop, doop, doop, doop, all the way to the bathroom. And I was wearing white shoes that day. It was not good. Yeah. Occupational therapists. I mean, you see it all. Yeah. A patient that had never wiped his butt. Never? No. He had a really limited range of motion and had a cervical compression. So he lost a lot of his function in his arms. So he didn't wipe. He would just poop and get up. To me, there's levels of things I couldn't

handle. The inability to have like a good dump. We've gone very shitty today, but I'm saying like that's like the idea you can't like, there is something satisfying to like beginning, middle, and wipe and out. And that's, you know, that's just a small pleasure in life you would never want taken away. Hopefully it turns around quickly for him so he can enjoy some barata and ice cream. I mean, hopefully. You can't miss out on a barata. That's like a go-to date, splits these, you know, appetizers. Yeah, especially from, have you ever eaten at a restoration hardware? I have actually. They're barata. The restaurants there are really good. Top notch. Yeah, it's good. Top notch. Minnesota just got one. If you're there, I know there's one in Chicago. I went to the one

in Nashville, I think, for brunch and it was very good. And they all like, it feels like you're walking into your richest friend's home. It's incredible. It is a vibe. It's like, yeah, it really feels good. It is a vibe. Are you stuck in the city life routine? It's time to get outdoors and enjoy the fresh air. You're missing out on bold journeys and brave adventures that are just waiting for you. When's the last time you saw a breathtaking sunrise or a stunning waterfall? Have you hiked at Zion's or four-wheeled at Moab? An RV is the perfect way to blend the comfort and convenience of home with your outdoor adventures. Whatever your needs are, we're here to help. Visit a Motorsportsland RV center or motorsportsland.com today

and let Motorsportsland help you get away. Okay, moving along, I'm bringing you to my side of Reddit now. Less funny. This is more, I buckle up. I thought the woman taking advantage of her boyfriend's kid, that's where we went into it, but that went a different way. Yeah, it did. So, am I the asshole for not letting my girlfriend wear her unique dress to a wedding? Throwaway account because she uses Reddit. My 25-male girlfriend, 30-female, Nat, has a very particular sense of style. Picture Harley Finkel from the Wizards of Waverly Place show and you will get the idea. I also don't think that's her name. I think it's, ah, it's wrong. It's going to bug. Harper. Harper. Yeah, it's Harper. Harper Finkel. Harper Finkel. There we go, guys.

Don't get me wrong. I never had a problem with that. In fact, I love the way she dresses because she loves to do so and I'm happy that she is happy. The thing is, sometimes she likes to incorporate memes into her clothes. No problem. It's cute. But now she wants to wear a dress inspired by the meme gay rat wedding to my friend's wedding. He and his fiance are gay. I told her, maybe that is not really appropriate. The dress in question would be full of little stuffed rats, pride flags, and a big, I support gay rats on the front. My friend is not a big fan of the way my girlfriend dresses and I think this dress may cause a certain uproar in the wedding. Now, Nat is upset with me in claiming that I am throwing water on her flame of creativity.

The wedding is next month, so she has plenty of time to think about another thing to wear. Should I just let her go with the dress? Am I the asshole in this situation? So you like an I am out of the asshole question. Yeah. No, I'm into this. You like the dress? No, I'm against her. Okay, good. I think she's, I think if you're the invited guest. Yeah. And when you're in the invited guest, you have to respect your date and the people you don't know. This ain't your show. And it's not your time to put out your meme dress. And the problem with this, and it's a problem with a lot of things today in the who's the asshole debate,

she can take the moral position and she's doing that. You're telling me I can't wear what I want. You're telling what people do is they raise up the torches to ward you away. Yeah. And the torches are, you're going to tell me a woman what to wear to a wedding as a creative. There's a language used to get your way that doesn't mean you're right. It's just the language people use to get their way. So in the context of the nuance of the story, I would have a serious look at the relationship. You know, you don't respect me enough to be my date to my friend's wedding in a way that doesn't make the wedding about you. Yeah. And in an appropriate way. Like, and it'd be different if it was her friend's wedding. Yes. Because she knows the friend.

She knows that. And that's the thing. She, because she knows her friend, she would know which meme dress to wear that would be appropriate for her friend. She's taken a shot in the dark just because they're gay. Just because they're gay doesn't mean they like a, you know, a meme that has rainbow flags and they're going to shoot sparklers off in the sky. Everyone can be different. Yeah. I completely agree. If someone showed up, and it's not even the fact that it says I support gay rats, like that is weird. Like I've never seen the meme. I'm kind of curious. No, even without knowing the meme, it's just, you know, she's, to me, she's taking a whole group of people and blanking them under one, putting them under one blanket. I don't, I don't find it

funny though. Like that's my sense of humor is totally different. It doesn't matter what the sense of humor is. Like, you know, it doesn't, that has nothing to do with it. So when she says, you're throwing water on my creative flame. No, no, no, no, no. You are being rude to me, your boyfriend. Yeah. Who is bringing you as their guess, when you're brought to a wedding, you're jewelry. You're jewelry on the other person. You're there to show off to friends and family and to make the person that's bringing you look good. Yeah. You're, you're, you're on. You're supposed to be on. You're supposed to be helping them like make a good impression of people they meet. Like, and this is their close friend who, especially the people that are getting married,

they already don't like the way she dresses. That even has nothing to do with it. Anyways, to me, to me that puts, what happens in these debates is they go, is we, we can't sit in the emotional side of it. To me, this is one plus one equals two. So when you say, I'll wear whatever I want to the fucking wedding you bring me to, I would go, well, you have just proven that you can't be trusted that you don't care about me as your boyfriend. Trying for your partner is respect. Yes. And this is a lack of respect for her partner. And again, if it was her friend, I would think differently of this. Yeah. If he was the guest and he was like, you're wearing that, I'd be like, yeah, I know my friends are cool. Yeah. They love this shit.

You show up to my wedding with stuffed rats on your dress. You are instantly getting booted. Also, if she went to a wedding that she was invited to brought him as the guest and she wore the meme dress and then the couple didn't like it, she would have an argument with the couple. What she's now doing is producing an argument between her boyfriend and her friend. Yes. Absolutely. So you brought someone else into your battle that he doesn't even know. You're just making a scene when you don't need to. Weddings are already stressful enough. They're busy days. They're hectic days. The last thing you want to do is wear white to someone's wedding or a fucking rat dress. Come on. Don't steal the thunder.

It is just so, I get fired up about this stuff because it's so like very 2022 to me, where people use languaging to make themselves the victim. Yeah. She really flipped the script on him. Oh, yeah. Almost like kind of gaslighting him a little bit like, you're throwing water on my flame of creativity. Yeah. She makes it about, you don't like creative people. You don't like that I'm different as opposed to, no, you're not respecting me in this relationship. No empathy for his perspective and just trying to like not rock the boat, enjoy the wedding. So we have some updates. Please. So well, guys, as many of you pointed out in the comments,

me getting a throwaway account didn't help. She found the post. You mean to tell me the woman who wanted to wear the rat meme dress figured out a way to find him online and got a little nuts? Yeah. What? I guess I was too specific after all. I will update soon. And next update, someone provided screenshots of her comments. So she actually found the post and commented. Oh, wow. So we will click on that. I'm sure they're level headed and nuanced and totally, you know, understanding. No. No. She, okay. So like just to give you an idea, like someone screenshotted it and then put it on the subreddit. So these, this is all of them. So like, oh my God, like literally scroll. I'm scrolling. It's so many. So she really went off.

There's at least like 30. He is a liar. It was supposed to be a joke. Well, that's the other thing. Jokes. That, well, now she's being, she's doing it again. Yeah. Language. Yeah. It's just a joke. I'm so sarcastic. This is what people do when they, you know, in dating situations or friend situations. Oh, you just don't get my sarcasm. You just don't get my jokes. No. Well, at a wedding where you're the guest, maybe you shouldn't be taking chances. Not, not funny in this context at all. And like someone, there was like another joke comment recently or like a story where this guy's family put his girlfriend's face on an ugly sweater and he calls her beautiful and all this stuff,

but he goes, but she has a really large facial scar. Oh my God. And so they put her face on an ugly sweater as a joke and he didn't find the problem in it. And it's like, if the person, like if the butt of the joke isn't laughing, it's not a joke. No. You're bullying them. Also, you don't know your girlfriend enough to know that this is like a thing for her. And then also like, it's your family. She has no one there. Everyone's connected. Yeah, that's bad. It was bad. So final update. Hello, everyone. I would like to thank you all for your judgment, advices and opinions on my post. It was greatly appreciated. So the conversation did not go well. She was livid with me for exposing her in this way. And although I showed

her the comments, most important, the one from the LGBTQIA community, she refused to admit that her dress was a poor choice, but in fact, her way to appreciate the gaze. That did not sit well with me. Love can move mountains, but cannot maintain a relationship with a homophobe. So now I am going to the wedding. How did she become a homophobe? They apparently on this original post, and we can peek at the comments, but apparently a lot of those in the gay LGBTQIA community felt that this was kind of an offensive jab. This isn't like a sign of support. Interesting. Yeah. So now I'm going to the wedding, a single rat-free dress man. I did reach out to my friend and send him the post. He thought the situation to be hilarious, but if she did show up in the

dress, he would have definitely kicked us out. Kicked us out is so great. It's all so dramatic. I guess that is all. PS, I am deeply sorry for misspelling Harper's name. Won't happen again. Well, it's so funny how these Reddit stories are all the most dramatic. Yeah. Yeah. It's something for sure. We want to kick them out. Okay. People are in the... So this is from the best of Reddit updates, so I'm not on the actual original post, but on this thread, people are commenting. Dress was going to say, it's a mice day to be gay. It's a mice day for a rat wedding. That's fun. They're just picking it up. But yeah, it's interesting. And I think that's too something that it is all about context. I don't identify as

gay or part of the community. So I imagine that would almost be a slap in the face. Someone showing up to your wedding and that. Well, it's back to what I was talking about before. We're all just flamboyant men to you instead of just like, hey, we're having a wedding. We want dresses and people in suits and tuxes, whatever. You've gone the other way. You've gone the other way to generalizing and making someone a cliche based on your own interpretation of them. Yeah, it's annoying. It really is. It's like toxic positivity. It's like in that world. I hate that. It's like, you're toxic supportive. Yeah. I hate that shit. Just know, just let me vent and tell me it fucking, it sucks. Yeah, everything sucks. It's just bad. Hi, Jan from Toyota speaking.

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14 years ago. He's an okay man, but my dad will always and forever be my number one. When they announced to me that a baby was on the way, I freaked out, told them there and then that I don't want to ever be involved in this kid's life. I find it super weird that he's 22 years my junior. I'm old enough to be his dad. Hold on, this person was 22 when the kid was born? Yeah, well, or what's 35 minus 13? 22, right? Yeah. So he's 22 when he's born and he's 35 and the kid is 13. Yeah. Okay. We did good on the math there. I'm proud. Well, you did it. I just agreed with everything you said. Why did my mom even need to have another child at 42? The baby fever was strong apparently. I found the entire thing disgusting to say the least. The years go

by and when my half brother was around 10 years old, he started saying how much he wanted to meet me. After a lot of nagging from my mother, I said, whatever, fuck it. All right, I'm going to do it. From our first encounter, he basically clinging to me. For the past three years, he has constantly tried to make me like and accept him, but I just can't do it. He's a nice person at all, but I still find my mom's actions nasty. So I involuntarily associate him with that. I can't help it. I never wanted a sibling. Yesterday, he was over at my place and kept on asking me to watch a movie with him, which I didn't want to do. I ended up going off on him and told him that I don't want to be his friend and actually want nothing to do with him at all. He immediately started crying and

apologizing to me, saying that he doesn't have any friends and gets bullied at school for his introverted nature and that he just doesn't understand why I despise him so much. He said that he's tired of feeling rejected all the time when all he does is be good to everyone. He said, sorry one more time, told me that despite my huge hatred towards him, he still loves me, admires and respects me a lot. Then he runs out of the house. He hasn't reached out to me ever since. So this person's literally asking if they're the asshole for all of this. Is Reddit like nerd fan fiction? This is fan fiction written by a nerd about how they see their own life. A lot of these stories because to me again, I don't believe anyone is like this cruel or this

also the ability to write this story in, admit that it's probably my issue with my mom and the way she went about things and not about them even though now I still can't stand them and they're an introvert that no one at school likes. It's like all of this is like in the realms of like it's almost like everyone here listens to corn in their room and stained and believes like the world's against them. Like it is really and I can be back to my emo days. Right? This is very emo. It's like I don't, it's bringing me back to nothing. I never had this type of childhood. Like I was always like, yeah, we play sports in high school and we fucking do whatever. So you didn't listen to three days grace in your room and cry?

I mean, maybe yeah, no crying, but like maybe it was on at like, you know, a boy girl party. You know, like I don't know. It's like, I don't know. So again, I'll live in the world that's been created. This person's an asshole. For sure. This person should speak to their mom with a therapist, like a professional. They need to use tools that a therapist can give them to be able to get around their issue. He is making his issue with his mom an issue with a 13 year old child who's opening up to also again, the reason I don't believe this is the 13 year old is like, everyone rejects me. Like the idea that he even knows the word rejects in that context. I don't know. I got rocked in middle school and high school. Like I was, I was bullied real bad.

Like, like this? Like, I don't know. But even to be, now you can explain that you were bullied so bad, but he's explaining that a 13 year old is explaining their bullying in the way a 20 year old would explain it. Well, we have to remember, you know, this 35 year old is taking 13 year old words and reiterating them. So I'm sure he's adding, I'm sure the kid is like, I'm all alone at school. Like no one likes me. And so I'm sure he's, you know, adding his own flavor to it. As he is a mature adult, despite his asshole niche. But I would say he's not a mature adult. No, I mean, I guess, yeah, no, take it back. I take it back. To me, this person, like, they're an asshole. That, you know, it's a child that had nothing to do with your new, you know, and also

this person needs a therapist to get over the loss of their dad. Yeah, I, well, it doesn't even say like, I, we don't know if his dad dies. It's just like, he just says he's an okay man, but my dad will always and forever be my number one. And I think like, I think this man was like, from the time he went through this with his mom and she got remarried, I think he was honestly stunted at that age, at the age that that was, I think that is the last growth he ever went through. Because don't you recognize like your dad is your dad, that's not going to change your relationship with your dad. But like, just because your mom got remarried, like what he, he, it's almost like he took it so personally. And it's like, buddy, what the fuck is wrong with you?

Yeah, he's got a, it's not about the kid. No, the kid is just like a victim and all this. Just the idea that he's right. I can't believe he, you know, it's cling to me. Like, aren't you, what do you, you don't, you don't get it? You don't get it at all. Yeah. Oh my God, this is like bringing me back. This was me and my brother. Like my older brother, we have an eight year age gap. And so like, he kind of was raised as like an only child. And then I came along and like, he loved me at first. But then like, I became really annoying and took away from him. So like, he hated me growing up. Like we did not get along until I literally turned 18. See, this is why I think it's nerd fan fiction. Like your story is like a normal story. Yeah.

And they write the glorified story and then you connect with it. You go, this is my life. Yeah, this is me. I was that little 13 year old. This is me. And then your three days grace. I know. Again. That, what song was it? It's like, um, animal inside of me or something. It was a. Oh, I remember. It was a bop. Yeah. I can't do it, Joseph, but it was good. Sing it again. I'll pull it up on YouTube after. Um, yeah, he sucks. He overall vote on the thread was asshole. Yeah. But I think he knows that. He even says, I think there are truly delusional people out there and like, I don't want to just give the narcissist tag right away because it is thrown around a lot and you know, whatever. But he is definitely a very self centered person that is delusional.

He has no sense of self awareness or awareness of anyone but himself, no empathy. So maybe there's some other mental health stuff going on with this person because they are. Well, it's also like a false empathy to go, I see it. Yeah. But then you're, but then you're asking, am I an asshole? Like, no, no, no, you just, you would know, you would know. Yeah. Even if like, you have your feelings, you'd be like, I know I'm the asshole, but I still can't get over this. These feelings, this trauma. That would make it too gray for Reddit. It would. You're the asshole. You are taking your unresolved rage at your mother out on a literal child. Get therapy, figure out your own shit instead of burying a middle schooler in it.

That was written way more concisely than I said it. That was the top comment on this one and it got 70,000 up votes. See, 70,000 people read this story. Like this is like, maybe more because like they could have just not clicked it. It is 70,000 people call them an asshole. Yeah. That would make me want to just cry. Well, this guy doesn't, he's too much. Well, again, this guy, I don't think he really feels much. I think it's on the computer and people, you know. I agree. He needs, he needs some serious, serious help. Okay. I got two left for you. Let's do it. Okay. Am I the asshole for allowing my mom to visit my and my wife's house against my wife's wishes? My mom is a nightmare and she's always disrespecting people's boundaries

while also being entitled. She never liked my wife, not for any serious reason other than the fact that I got married and she couldn't stand seeing me moving away from her. My wife gave birth three weeks ago to our healthy baby girl. My mom insisted she wanted to be in the delivery room, but my wife only wanted me and her mom in there. But my mom was in the hospital lobby screaming about how she deserves to experience the birth of her grandchild. Sounds like a very calming way to come into the world. It's like someone's screaming in the lobby. You're like, I am giving birth right now. I would be calling a code gray and getting security to take her the hell out of there. Get away from me. Whenever my code gray, is that like hospital speak? It's combative person.

I got you. Yeah. Code silver, they got a weapon. Really? Yeah. Code pink, missing baby, code purple, missing kid. Missing baby. Yeah. Does that happen? Baby napper. Is he usually like the dad? Is that what it? It can be or it could be a mother-in-law, crazy grandma coming in. You know what the first thing I came to mind is and you might be too young like kindergarten cop just. I love that movie. Right? Him with the kid and the with the fire alarm. Yep. I just immediately I'm thinking of that guy with the bad ponytail dragging a kid around the place with the rain coming down from like the yeah. Yeah. You just reminded me my boyfriend's never seen it. So I got to, I got to put that on our list officially. It's so good. Oh my God. You got to say, yeah.

It's a classic. The principal who's strict but fair. Yeah. Love it. Whenever my mom visited our house, she would always nitpick everything and judge my wife for being a horrible housewife and claimed she'd be a bad mom as well. Since those remarks, my wife has lost her temper and doesn't want my mom to visit again. And I understand why. My wife has lost her temper? I think rightfully so. Yeah. Nobody would like to be humiliated in their own home. So I understand why. After my wife has given birth, they kept the baby in the hospital to monitor her for a few days. My wife recovered at home. We got our baby girl back home eventually and the grandparents wanted to meet her. My wife said she'll be, my wife said she'll only be okay with my mom visiting this once for the baby

as long as she doesn't make any remarks. My mom promised she wouldn't be out of line, but as soon as she stepped on our porch, she started commenting on our front yard not being clean and that my wife is ridiculous for not cleaning it before the baby got here. My wife just had her vagina get ripped apart. Yes. And she's like, get in the yard. This woman is delusional. My wife lost her temper and said that she lost every visiting privilege from now on and will take the baby to her house to meet her once we feel like it. It's been almost two weeks and my in-laws have met the baby, so had my father. My mom still hasn't and my wife doesn't want her to see her and won't let the baby out of her house yet

because she's only a couple days old. My wife had a doctor's appointment yesterday and I stayed home with the baby. I saw this as a chance to invite my mom over to see the baby as long as she kept it a secret. She came over and I told her we have roughly two hours before my wife comes back. My mom then wouldn't leave no matter how many times I tried to convince her. My wife came home and saw my mom there cuddling the baby and she had a full mental breakdown and started screaming at me and her and she told me to get the fuck out of the house. I told my wife to shut the fuck up and calm down and it's also my house and my kid. And if I want my mom to meet my effin kid at my effin house, she can't forbid me from doing it and she has no

right to kick my mom out. That led to her kicking me out too. And now I'm staying at my parents until my wife calms down. Am I the asshole for bringing my mom at my house to meet my daughter against my wife's wishes or is my wife the one being unreasonable? This is probably the toughest one of all. I think he's an asshole. I agree. 1000%. Yeah, I think he here's the problem. It's not about the baby. It's about you won't talk to your mom. Like no boundaries. Yeah, it seems like he is trying to work this out on the fly. There's a point where like, listen, at every point in this, he can go to his wife, I got to go talk to my mom. I got to let her know. And that's taking us, you have to take your wife's side at a certain point. Like you're with your

wife, you guys are a team. Your mom is making things hard on the team, not just her. Like this isn't the mom yelling at her. She's yelling at both of you. Like I don't think this guy takes enough ownership of his own home. Not at all. Like the front yard, she's talking about your front yard. Why is it on her? Yeah, you let the front yard get bad. So why aren't you taking, you know, you can't just sit there with a popcorn watching your mom and her fight all day. Because that's her precious baby boy. Yeah, well, mothers and sons are weird. It's weird. The whole relationship's weird. And it's like, because like what happens is you're the, you're the look of what they fell in love with. Right? Like you're like at a certain age, you become like a version of what

they decided to marry. And that's on enmeshment. It's what? It's called enmeshment. It's when like a parent has almost like an incestuous relationship with a child and like not sexually, but like emotionally, they almost look at their child as like a partner and they groom their child to what they would want a partner to be. And then they get mad when they're the ones that can't reap the rewards. I mean, this is what it sounds like here. Case in point. Yeah. I mean, like, because he never, never in this story does he say, I sat her down and we had to talk about this. No, he has no idea how to draw boundaries at all. No. And I've even the way he talks about the wife, he's like semi blaming her. Yeah. And it's like, he's like, she had an emotional breakdown.

How about she was attacked, you know, like by someone who's being a monster, you know, like the idea that he didn't go to the lobby, she's giving birth, like there's your opportunity, go to the lobby and go, Hey, we got to sit. Like not everything has to be a screaming match. Let's negotiate here. What do you need out of this? Here's what I need out of this. And that's what you, with people in your life, it's all negotiations. If you're your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your mom, your dad, here's how we got to, how do we make both parties happy? You want to see your grandkids? Well, here's my, you're my needs. If you can't fulfill those needs, then we're going to have to ask you to go. Yeah. And he never does that because he doesn't want to take any side. No. And so this

was like, someone copied his post and reposted it on another subreddit called AMI the devil. Basically, they go through the AMI the asshole and they pick the ones that are like, yeah, no shit Sherlock, like you suck. And so they labeled it worst husband comes with an extra long umbilical cord. Cause like there's, there's nothing like if my mom, like if I was giving birth and my mom, like granted, my mom would be there, but like, I would expect if this was me, I would expect my partner to go downstairs and be like, you need to calm down, sit, sit patiently. Morgan does not want you to see her tear from vagina to asshole. You know, like it's a very difficult situation. And like, I think the best phrase I've heard about it is like birth is not a spectator

sport. No. Like this is a very vulnerable intimate moment. Things go wrong. Listen, I'm not going to be there. I'll pick her up about a week later and I'll be on vacation. I'll be done in Cancun. Talk about a good partner. No, listen, I would want her to have her privacy and for me to enjoy the week. I got a big, you know, I got fatherhood coming up. I gotta relax. Yeah. Well, I mean, at least that's better than the guys that ask like, Hey honey, do you care if I just like lay in the bed for a little bit? Can you imagine? I'll FaceTime. I'm FaceTime with like a margarita man. Hey, how's it going? Oh my God. Yeah. Childbirth scares the shit out of me. I just scares the shit out of me. It's tough. But I think this lady is completely unhinged. I think

he needs to get it together. No, I agree with his wife kicking him out. Like you, you kicking him out is actually the best thing. Go talk to your mom. Figure this shit out. Yeah. I'm kind of a third. The wife is more of a third party than he wants to believe. He's not making her the third party. He's making her Oh, it's wife versus mom. No, no, no, it's you versus mom. Yep. I feel like we're all responsible for our parents. It's not our partner's job to like constantly have confrontation or put our parents in their place, so to speak. It's like, you need to talk to your parents. I'll talk to mine. Like you're more comfortable being able to tell them to like, I've had lesser versions of this. Really? You know, where you like, I've had to say, Hey mom, what the fuck?

You know, cut the shit. Yeah. So I, and that's not a fun conversation either. So I do understand why it's hard for him. Let me, let me say that for him. The one thing I'll say is this is not easy, but this has gotten out of control. And sometimes it makes it easier to approach people when it has gotten out of control. Like you were screaming in a lobby. Okay. Can we admit things have gone off the route? Now let's bring it back and have a conversation. You have the perfect example to be like, you were so unhinged. This is why you've lost privileges. TTT. Time to talk. I was like, what? I like that. Okay. So top comment on the original post with 52,000 upvotes. You're the asshole. You just described all the horrible ways your mother treats your wife and

still went behind your wife's back on this to satisfy your mom. The baby is days old, but you couldn't wait another week or something. Mommy wanted it now and mama's boy can fly. See, this is the problem though. I, I hate this stuff. This is what everyone always does this whenever there's like a conflict between mom and and throw the mama's boy out there. It's like, is that a good way to like get this guy? Like this guy's going through something too. Like, you know, like I definitely want to be, be, be, be gonna suck at the teeth for the rest of your life. It's like, okay, listen, I'm going through something. I'm going to tell, and I have a mom that's a monster. Can you at least like, you know, let me handle this, you know, this isn't easy.

That I, it always goes that way. They do. I think they like try to like really like shake some sense into him. But like, they go on to say, your wife was right to kick you out. You're acting like you're married to your mom and not her, which if like, by the way, he, you know, can't recognize why his wife is upset, despite all this horrible treatment, like he recognizes the horrible treatment, but yet can't really like put it together. But that response is way more constructive than, does a baby need a bottle? You can't get away with it. And it's like, okay, okay, okay. Yeah. No, but I agree with you. It's, it's something needs to happen. You acknowledge something needs to happen. You're not doing anything. For sure. I think some couples therapy,

1000%, like if he is truly enmeshed with his mom, a lot of people don't even recognize that themselves. And it is hard to really like cut ties, break the cycle. So it's like a lot of the comments don't really, they don't really touch on it, but he does comment a lot. Apparently, someone goes, I'm begging you to read his comments. It gets worse. He has a friend that also hates his wife because the wife didn't like how touchy they were. And he sees her behind his wife's back. All right. Well, now that's, I mean, of course, give him the D. End it. It's over. Well, wish her the best. Hopefully he can grow from this. I wish him some therapy.

I agree. He needs some help addressing his mother if he cannot do this on his own. The fact that she didn't leave, he, she got two hours. And the fact that he couldn't get her to leave and she refused. That's, that's, well, that's again, one of those, it makes it easier. You go, Hey, do you see an issue here? I, you knowingly came over with a time limit because my wife hates you and you hate her and you couldn't leave. Like you couldn't even negotiate with me. So where, you know, to me, I would, you have to cut ties with that mom. Like you couldn't even respect the boundary that I even, we all agreed. You hate each other. So I found a way to you to see your new grandkid and then you railroaded me.

Fuck off. To just like, see, to me, the mom's absolute. Absolutely. Like it's more than him. He's going to take the blame because he's enabling. But thinking of that situation, you're like, he's like, you know, he's been fucked up by her. Yeah. And now he's trying to work through it by like, okay, I'll have you over under the cover of night. And then she doesn't even allow that. It's like, this is like mommy dearest shit. It is just deranged. I think at this point, like this has to be the final straw, like the straw that broke the camel's back. Like this is, you either have a choice, you save your marriage or enjoy living with your parents. That's it. That's like the point. Yeah. Because just going behind her back, like she would have been,

it sounded like she offered to like take her, like the baby to his mom's house eventually. It just like the time that they wanted it. Like she's only a couple of weeks old. Give her a minute to heal. It's not even, like it's almost, it's hilarious. These are all like, the problem isn't the problem. You know, like she didn't even respect him enough to like give her the secret time. He tried. He did try. Yeah. And the way he best knew how to try, even though I don't think that was like, you know, sneaker or in like a Trojan horse. I don't think that's a good way to go. But I do think he did. Like this guy is like mentally incapable because he was brought up by someone who's mentally incapable. Like she's the asshole. 100%. Hi, Jan from Toyota speaking.

Jan, I heard it's a good time to buy Toyota. Sure is. From now until April 4th, you can shop all your favorites like Corolla, RAV4, Sequoia and more. Imagine yourself in a new tundra where you stopped by the home improvement store and finally built that tree house. You promised your daughter. Sarah, when did you hop on the call? Hi, dad. Mom said you were taking too long on the phone. Toyota, let's go places. See your participating Toyota dealer for details. Dealer inventory may vary. Okay, I'll give you a choice on the last one. Okay. So you have two options. It's between am I the asshole for giving my daughter's piggy bank money back? Or back to who? The kiddo. Or wife deleted a message from my ex telling me that she was pregnant five years ago.

Hey, that one makes me like shiver to my core. I don't want to hear that. No, the piggy bank? No, no. Let's go to the piggy bank. That one won't give me anxiety. This one gives me anxiety. Can you imagine? It's just fucking cruel. Am I the asshole for giving my daughter's piggy bank money back? My daughter, Anna, six, got me some weird smelling cologne for Christmas and I hated it. I asked my wife why she would even let our daughter buy this crap. And she said that since Anna had her own piggy bank money, she had wanted to pick out the cologne on her own. So basically, Anna went on Amazon and randomly looked over and looked around until she saw a cologne picture that she liked and that she

could afford. That's her first mistake. Who buys cologne over Amazon? You gotta sniff that stuff. Come on, you gotta go get sprayed by a woman at Bloomingdale. She's also six. Well, you live and learn. My wife thought the whole thing was hilarious, but I didn't really find it that funny. Don't get me wrong. I appreciated it, but it stunk. So I sent it back today. I was just not going to say anything, but when I came back inside, Anna asked me why I had went out without putting on the cologne. And I told her, well, sweetie, daddy didn't really like it. Your taste is garbage. So I sent it back. Time to pick it up, girlie. If you want to fit in in high school, you better know how to pick

out the cologne. Yeah, you gotta get your boyfriend's a good Valentine's Day gift. So I sent it back, but I appreciate you getting me the gift. So here's the money you spent on it, about $20 and an extra $20. She doubled up. He doubled down. Yeah. And then she got really sad and said, you didn't like it. And I said, no, but that's okay because I'm just happy you even thought about me enough to break your piggy bank and get me a present. I don't know what the heck is up with kids. They don't listen. She ran and told my wife that I said I hated her present. I did hate it, but that's not even what I said. Women, man. Changing stories on you all the time. My wife said I should apologize, but I said, no, apologize for what? I don't want her turning

out spoiled. This is a good lesson for her to learn. If she had listened to my wife when she was trying to help her pick out the cologne, then she would have picked a cologne I didn't like, and I wouldn't have had to send it back. I think an apology is unnecessary and uncalled for. I gave Anna her money back and extra on top of that. And I think we should just leave it at that. Right now, everyone is mad at me except the twins, but their babies. I was going to just go apologize to keep the peace. But the more I think about it, I don't think I did anything wrong. That's worth apologizing for. Did I? I like this one. I actually think this is a lesson learned. For the kid? Yeah. Some people aren't not everyone's going to like what you give them.

She's sick. Yeah, listen. Time to learn now or later. You are. The gift grumpster or Scrooge. Japanese are Scrooge over there. Bah-humbug is what I have to say. Oh my gosh. Bah-humbug. I do think it is a lesson learned in, hey, not everyone's going to be thoughtful. But is six the right age? No, it might not be the right age. She's a baby. I just wish we'd looked at his daughter and was like, well, daddy liked a little company called Lehman Brothers,

and I bought the stock and now it's worth nothing. So that's why we live in this house. I just like, just do it. Suck it up. Keep the piece. Just tell your kiddo. Just don't wear it. Just hide it. Be like, oh, I'm saving it for a special occasion. This is very male. She'll forget about it. It's very male to be like, I'm mad that she lost her money. I need to make her whole. It's very like, men a lot of times are like, I got to fix it. Your girlfriend comes up to you and goes, I just don't feel well. And you're like,

water? They're like, that's not what I wanted. And you go, well, what can I do? And they're like, just say, okay. Because a lot of men will just, so this to me, the reason that I kind of see his side, I'm like, she lost 20 bucks. That was like, she didn't have to buy her with her money. I'm more upset about the six-year-old using their $20 from their piggy bank than I am about like, hey, it fucking sucked. She probably felt so special though. Using her own little money and buying this gift, going online herself, that sense of autonomy at six had to have been so just empowering for her.

And you go on Amazon, you buy on the thing your mom buys on, your dad buys on, I get it. It shows up in the mail. It's like a present for yourself when packages come, I get so excited anytime I get mail. And then he should look down at her and be like, listen, dad cheats. And women are not attracted to smelly dudes. So can you just... You're really just trying to have him just throw a grenade in his life? No, I don't think he's... I don't think anyone's an asshole in this scenario. Like, I genuinely believe that he... Like, I can see where he's coming from as far as like... Practicality.

It's so practical that it's almost like... Too practical. Too practical. That doesn't make him an asshole, it makes him a dumb dad. Like, because her running away going, daddy didn't like it. And he's like, well, I didn't. But also she lost $20. I wanted her to have $40. Yeah. Well, and everyone like, honestly, maybe he just doesn't understand like some social concepts or like maybe, you know, he just is a little socially awkward and doesn't really know how to deal with situations like this.

Yeah. I guess. I don't know. Like, you're right. Like, be blissfully lie about this a little. Like, I'll wear it for the... No, this is the important cologne. Then she'll forget, obviously. You should forget she's six. Yeah, yeah, that's fair. She's gonna be talking about unicorns and a pony. You're right. He's an asshole for not lying. Yeah. Yeah. I guess. Just a little white lie. Like, sometimes you lie to your kids to make everything better.

Or tell her you don't like it and then sell it together on eBay. Now you're working together. Now you guys are a business. Yeah. Now you're teaching her how to be a boss, bitch. More autonomy. So overall vote on this was asshole. Yeah. Yeah. Top comment. You're the asshole. She is a child and interpreted your reaction as you hate it. Also, if it was that cheap, you couldn't just keep it on the shelf and say it's so special,

you were saving it. Sorry, but you were definitely wrong here. That's true. It was 20 bucks and he gave her an extra 20. He could say... But to her $20, she's probably... That's her piggy bank. I know. Just sneak it in there. It was full. You don't even have to like tell her you put it in there. Just like sneak it in there. Everything he did is more about his feelings and none about his kid.

Like, this is so about him. There's a little bit of teaching her the value of a dollar. No? Hey, you've lost $20 on something that didn't fucking make sense. That's what lemonade stands are for. Fair. Like, she's six. She's a very perceptive six-year-old, I have to say. She did go and go, daddy doesn't like my taste. She did report him.

She did. No comments from OP, but hopefully he learns how to lie to his kid next time. And not like not bad lie, but like baby, nice lies. She's now in rehab. Six. This could traumatize her though. Yeah, it sends her into a life of like, I don't know how to get love. I don't, you know, when am I enough? Insecurity, loss of confidence.

Like the shit that traumatizes us as children is quite wild. Or she got a degree in accounting and she's very good with money. Something I wish I would have learned. Many, maybe we all should have been told that our gifts were garbage. That hand that was the turkey on Thanksgiving, it sucked. It went all wrong. It went all wrong for me. I think the best thing I was going to say though, with like gifts and stuff,

or like people, couples having problems, you said something and I was like, oh, I'm like, this is why you ask your partner, like, do you want comfort or solutions? Yeah. I'm a comfort. Yeah, just hug me and let it go. Exactly. Yeah, I don't need to know a solution. I don't need to know, you know, my grandma, you know.

No. Yeah, I hear you. I'm so sorry, babe. Oh, that sucks. That's it. Well, that's all I got for you. It was a pleasure. Thank you for coming on.

Thank you for having me. It was so nice to see your home, the Lady Grand Piano, the studio. Yeah, you gotta go play it. I hope I didn't, I'm sorry if I'm, I never shut the fuck off. So I'm sorry if I went on and on. You did perfect. You did perfect. Plug your social so people know where to find you.

At Jared Freed on Instagram. Is that I before E? E before I. If you type in Jared, it'll be there. Oh, you're that. I'm not, yeah. But I'm on TikTok. I love a TikTok.

Wizard of Ha is my TikTok. And I saw your Bachelor when it was hilarious. Oh, thank you. Well, the Bachelor, that's my passion. That's my passion project. I yell at the Bachelor every episode on Instagram stories. So if you like the Bachelor, you can watch the show with me during the commercials. And I basically just make fun of the show as it goes on.

Okay, maybe I would appreciate it more if I did this with you. What's that? I got to join you. I got to watch with you. Oh, please. Yeah, I would love that. Yeah, the, every episode is in my highlight. So you can watch from season, from episode one,

then get yourself caught up on kind of how I watch the show. But it's, yeah, I've been yelling at the Bachelor for like five or six seasons now. So. Oh my God. Yeah, yell at every episode. Who is your least favorite? Peter, Pilot Pete. I, I thought, see, I don't delve into liking or hating them.

Okay. No, I like some of them, but I- You're neutral. I just like, like Peter's season to me was very interesting. Talk about a mom-mother-son relationship. Oh my God. Barb? Barb.

Oh, she was crazy at the after the race. Well, she was crazy, but you started to see how unattractive, how unattractive women are to men who can't make a decision on their own. Because then Barb got involved. He goes back and forth between Maddie and Hannah. And it was like, to me, it was very interesting. Yeah, it was a hit show. It was also interesting how little people empathize with Peter's position.

Like, and so like, that's kind of the angle I watched from that. Like, I like the, I like shit like that. Like to me, like a Peter situation is an interesting, you know, fruit to chew on. The Hannah's mom was actually like a fan of the live scream. I call it the live scream because I scream at the TV. Oh, okay. So I live scream it and Hannah's mom, Hannah, that season her- Hannah Brown.

No, Hannah, he chose between Maddie and this girl, this woman, Hannah. Yeah. And her mom and her would like watch as I'm making fun of the family at hometown. So it was very fun. Yeah. The mom wrote to me, she was like, don't go too hard on us. I was like, well, now I can't. You know, they're watching.

Yeah, yeah. That's amazing. Okay. Well, be sure to check that out. I'll be sure all of Jared's socials are linked in the description for this episode. This is a pleasure. Thank you for having me. I'm so happy you came on.

Thanks. Thanks, Grayson, for hooking it up. Yeah, that's right. Well, until next time, guys. Bye. When you download the Smits app, you have easy access to savings every day. Shop weekly sales and get personalized coupons to get the most value out of every trip, every time, whether you shop in-store or online.

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