Two Hot Takes - 59: Malicious Compliance or Revenge?

Episode Date: March 31, 2022

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Lauren. This episode tries to answer the question of is malicious compliance toxic.. or sometimes necessary? Or is it borderline revenge? We may be just as confused at the end.. Merch: https://fanjoy.co/collections/twohottakes Partners: Magic Spoon: Magicspoon.com/THT promo code: THT Patreon!!  https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes

Hi, Jan from Toyota speaking. Jan, I heard it's a good time to buy a Toyota. Sure is. From now until April 4th, you can shop all your favorites, like Corolla, RAV4, Sequoia, and more. Imagine yourself in a new tundra where... You stopped by the home improvement store and finally built that tree house you promised your daughter. Sarah? When did you hop on the call?

Hi, Dad. Mom said you were taking too long on the phone. Toyota, let's go places. See your participating Toyota dealer for details. Dealer inventory may vary. Are you still feeling nervous? It's not even nervous. I don't... I'm just very anxious. I don't know. I'm like on edge almost. Shy?

But it's not even shy either. I feel like I'm ready to run a marathon and so I'm like, let's go. Well, I know you were excited for this theme. We've been like talking about it for a couple of days now. Yeah, like it's actually been like 12 hours. Yeah. But you keep on expanding the days for some reason. I don't know. No, I gave you the assignment like a week ago.

Yeah. Yeah. No, you're right. But the way that we developed it, that was just within 12 hours. So that's what I thought you meant. Yeah, it's been... Okay, 12 hours is a lie. It was yesterday. It's been at least 24. We're both really bad at time, apparently. Well, when it comes to adding because that includes math.

Oh my God. Yeah. So this is a theme that has been a long time coming. I've like talked about malicious compliance so much and I'm so obsessed with it. I just think it's like a crazy concept to me. And so I like posted a poll and I was like, do you want malicious compliance or you first? Like they're both coming. Pick what you want first. Overwhelming majority said malicious compliance. But then I got some messages, a few messages and people were like,

please do not promote this passive aggressive toxic way of handling problems. And it made me think, is malicious compliance toxic? Is it borderline revenge? Sometimes definitely. Yeah. But then this is where that comes in where you were like, sometimes there needs to be a vote where you can vote justified asshole. Yeah, I saw this reddit and all of the comments.

It was an am I the asshole reddit and all the comments said you're absolutely an asshole, but you're a justified asshole. Yeah. So I want that to be like petitioned to be one of the categories because it's like, I think it kind of speaks volumes because it's necessary sometimes. Well, and I think with malicious compliance too, the thing that yes, underlining it's petty. However, some of it's pretty clever and some of it is pretty funny. And so sometimes when you can't win, it's a good way to fight back.

Yeah. I'm going to give everyone a definition of malicious compliance before we get started. So we're on the same page this episode because I feel like I don't explain it very well when I try to give people explanations of it. So malicious compliance is the behavior of intentionally inflicting harm by strictly following the orders of a superior while knowing or intending that compliance with the orders will have an unintended or negative result. Little, little, uh, that's a little by the book, but essentially you follow whatever that person wants at the expense. Like it might be negative, whatever. So in past episodes, we had the Thanksgiving story and I've talked about that a few times now, but these are going to be good.

I'm excited. Same. I'm so excited. Stop being nervous, you weirdo. I can't. Mom, come pick me up. Mom, I'm scared. Call 911.

Oh my God. No, is that TikTok sound though? Mom, I'm scared. Can you come pick me up? Yeah. That's the only way that you right now. Call your mom. Oh my God.

I need to just like pace for a second. I don't know what's going on. Do you want to take a shot? Maybe like a half a shot. Okay, happy. Okay, let's do it. Five minutes later. Oh God.

Do you know what I mean though? Do you ever just feel so jittery? Every time I record with someone else. Okay. Like every time I do a guest episode is how you're feeling. I don't know why though. Because you're just, it's, I don't know, this is a big deal. This podcast has like turned into like kind of a sneaky thing.

Yeah. Like there's a few people that listen now. And you thought it would just be family and friends. Well, I know. And that's the thing is that when I meet people, I've been telling them about it. And they're like, I want to listen to an episode. And like, that makes sense that that would be the next thing they would say.

But then it makes me really nervous because I'm like, oh fuck. You're like, please don't. Please, maybe just, just like things. I don't know. And then move on. Go give it a subscribe on YouTube and then don't listen. And then just, yeah. It's different when like.

Watch the ads. That's all. It's different when like people you know, like we have a friend that finally listened for the first time recently. And she was like, oh my God, like I'm, I'm actually surprised. Like I, like she didn't say this to me. She said this to like Alhondra. Like her message to me was a lot nicer.

But she was like, I honestly thought I'd hate it. Like listening to people I know talk and she's like, but you guys are still so genuinely yourselves that I still, I feel like I'm just talking to my friends, which is what everyone like on this journey has said, which is what I like. Like you're all my friend. And so it's like, it's one of those things where we are just genuinely ourselves.

And I think that's like one thing about us that no matter how big this gets, like I don't think we would let this ever get to our heads and be like, like I still, people are like someone the other day like was like, Oh, you're famous. I'm like, no, no, no. She's on that Reddit ad. No, I'm just a normal. See her everywhere now.

I'm just a normal person and just trying to have so much fun on this podcast with my friends. Oh my God. Yeah. I actually already read that off to me too. And I was laughing because that's, I mean, that's what you would think, you know, your friends start a podcast, you'd imagine it just be completely cringy, which I'm sure we are sometimes.

Yeah, definitely without a doubt. But for the most part, it's just us shooting the shit. I know. I love this. So, well, are you ready for malicious compliance or revenge? I'm so ready. Let's dive in. So up first, up first is a combo between my two favorite like things.

Malicious compliance. I know. I know. Stop it. Sorry. You're two favorite things in the world. My very two favorite. It's like that Mary Poppins song.

These are a few of my favorite things. But they're just like so negative. But they're just funny. But you were about to say revenge. Malicious compliance and revenge. No. Oh, you weren't. Okay.

I was going to say malicious compliance and purposeful incompetence. Got it. Oh my God. That's like when Alejandra pretends that she doesn't know how to. Open a bottle of wine. No, that one I think is real. But now when she's like, well, the disposal, disposal, disposal. Garbage disposal.

Garbage disposal. Okay. It's broken. We're like, there's a shot glass in there. She's like, call for help. It's broken. Cause she doesn't want to stick her hand in there. Yeah.

Put your hand in there. She doesn't want to lose a hand or a finger. It's done. We have to move out. She's trying to be a hand model. She's literally, she's trying to be a hand model. No chance she's going to stick her hand in that spinny ass thing. But she's like, it's broken.

We have to move out. Call the landlord. I don't know. Lastly, the definition of like jumping to conclusions. Like it's broken. We have to leave. We can't live here. Oh my God.

It's the funniest thing to me. So this first story is a combination of the two. Okay. So here we go. That's good. Am I the asshole for my petty response to my boyfriend's purposeful and competence about chores? My boyfriend has started pretending to be bad at basic

life shit like dishes and laundry. Like he can't do it. So I do it. Dot, dot, dot. I felt pretty frustrated with that and told him straight up that I know he didn't forget how to clean since he moved in with me. He was always very competent living alone and I don't appreciate him forgetting how to do chores.

I said that when I asked him to do dishes and he refused and refused until he finally did them wrong. That I was not stupid. He said that he was trying his best and I was wrong for saying he was trying to manipulate me and that from his perspective, I asked him to do something and he did it the best he could and I kept at him because it wasn't up to my impossibly high standards.

So he couldn't win. And he wanted me to believe him when he says he is trying. Anyways, this might be petty, but I decided to give believing him a try. So he had bleach stained my favorite little black dress. Instead of getting mad, next time he had a family event, I put it on. He asked me if I was really going to wear that.

It looked messy. I said that I loved that dress and understand accidents happen. So I wasn't mad or upset. It had bleach spots actually. I thought it looked kind of cool. He said he really thought it looked bad. And I said, if he wants, he could sharpie on the white spots real quick in the Uber.

It ended up looking even worse. He did it. Wow. Why did he just have a sharpie in the Uber? He probably put it like brought it with from home. Another time we were having dinner and he had done the dishes, but put some of the cups and bowls in the dishwasher upside down. So they filled with dirty dishwater.

Oh my gosh. That is a pet peeve of mine actually. Especially when there's food chunks in it. Yeah, when it's dirty, gross. Yeah. I took those cups and bowls, dumped them out in the sink, but didn't wash them further and served his food in them. He said that it was dirty and I was like, quote,

they just came out of the dishwasher. It's just water. It's fine. He said that no, it was disgusting. And I said it was really no biggie. I was getting over my impossibly high cleanliness standards and I really didn't think it was that gross. The last time I had cooked for a work party of his,

after cooking, the dish needed to cool for about 30 minutes, then be refrigerated. I had plans with my friends that night and I asked him to put the dish away after it cooled. He forgot. The next morning he noticed the dish was never refrigerated. I said it was fine. It was just a mistake and it would probably be fine to eat.

There wasn't a lot of meat in it anyways. He got frustrated and said that you can't serve meat left out overnight, even if it is only a little. And I said, oh, I think it should be okay. Stuff happens. He stopped being so lazy about chores after he realized I seemed totally okay with leaving stuff done badly

and that he'll be living with it. But I feel a little petty for having been dishonest about it. I actually hate how my bleach dress looked and my stomach turns at dirty dish soap and unrefrigerated meat. Am I the asshole for being petty? Like we said, justified asshole. Justified asshole.

I love this. And it's funny. It's like instant karma. Oh my God. But it's just, it's so amazing too though, because it's like, if you are going to insist that you don't know how to do something, what would you do if I wasn't here?

Yeah, what did you do before me? What did you do before me? You just kept your bowls up and ate dirty dishwash water? Maybe. But. No, because probably not. When you were doing it yourself, you actually gave a shit and you put effort into it.

He just got lazy and expected someone else to do a shit for him. Yeah, it's actually brilliant. And I think that one of the big relationship issues a lot of times is feeling like somebody's nagging you. Yeah. So she took that away. She's not nagging at him. Not at all.

Can you imagine, like if it went from just like, oh, she always complains about dishes and this and blah, blah, blah. Then she never would have heard the end of it. Yeah. And then all of a sudden he's going to make her out to be the bad guy and just like, hmm. But now it's just, no, I'm totally content. So let's continue to move on this way.

I love it. I think this is great. I think like, we'll get into some of them obviously, like malicious compliance can be very toxic. And of course, someone could say this is toxic. Someone could look at this and be like, that's unconstructive to their relationship. She should have communicated to him.

And I think she kind of did. Like she tried to. Yeah. And so I think there comes to a point with people and relationships and like, if this is a last ditch effort, like, I'm going to try it. I'm going to go along with his bullshit. I'm going to let him eat dish soapy fucking soup, soap, water, shit, like whatever.

What the hell was I saying there? I don't know. I don't like it. I don't know. But if he's going to eat out of there and like his, his work potluck meal was ruined because he forgot to do it. And he expected him. Maybe he truly forgot.

Maybe. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe. But otherwise he expected her to do it for him. And I think that happens a lot in relationships. Like no matter, no matter of the genders, no matter of like gender roles or like whatever, like I think that happens a lot.

Typically from what I've seen, I think women typically in those caregiver roles and find themselves kind of picking up the slack. Like I see a lot of moms on TikTok where it's like, my husband didn't change a diaper the entire time we had kids. And it's like, why not? Yeah. He should have.

Yeah. It should be a partnership. So I look at this way of dealing with it. And I'm like, I kind of like it. I think it's brilliant. I don't like it. And yes, like you said, communication, cool, but that doesn't always work.

Sometimes it's really a doing process. And I don't know. I love it. I love it. I think it's good. I'm trying to find the post because I kind of remind me too of, I love Lucy. Oh my God.

The way that the whole story, it's just, it's too innocent to be mad at, right? You know, it's not like, she's not poisoning him. Like, oh, you know, she's just giving him a, a bowl that he washed incorrectly. That's all she did. She didn't do anything wrong. No.

Um, she's also just trying to live her life. Like to wear a bleach colored dress too, like that takes some ovaries. Like that's some balls. Like that takes, that takes a lot to do that. So like she really did commit to it. And I give her that because that's a tough one. The post was deleted and the account is gone,

but I have the comment thread. Boyfriend saw it. Started putting the bulls upside down again. There's a chance. So top comment, the white spots. Oh, Joe put bleach in the wash with it. I think it came out looking great. The Sharpie marker to try to cover up was his idea too.

At his family event, tell him what a goober he's being. I love it. Not the asshole. I think the overall vote on this one surprisingly was not the asshole. I think a lot of people like we're on board. They were like, no, this is ridiculous. Yeah. Because he lived on his own just fine before you.

And so like comments go on and someone goes, it's totally a thing. There's memes dedicated to men being bad at chores on purpose. And someone goes strategic incompetence. And someone goes weaponized incompetence because that's what it is. When you're purposefully like not doing stuff in hopes that your partner will start doing it for you, that's, that's a weapon. That's weaponized incompetence.

Like that's not fair. There's like stuff that's like, I don't want to throw Justin on the bus because he is really good and we do communicate really well typically. But there was something the other day like he asked me and I was like, I said, what do you mean? You're the one that taught me how to do that. Why are you asking me how to do it? And I'm like, do you just need a hug?

I think you need a hug. Cause I'm like, I get where it's like, sometimes you just want to be taken care of. Like we all have those moments in life where like, you're down in the dumps, going through a hard time. And it's like, you just want to be taken care of. But I think that's where it like comes to like, in this case, like he didn't have to be bad at chores on purpose to get help.

He could have just said, I am a little blue today. I'm struggling to care for the next two weeks. I maybe don't do chores. Like I just need a break. I'm a little burnt out. And I think that's like where Justin was. Like he was just like, I had like a, a little bit of a struggle point, like having a hard day.

And I'm like, just, do you need a hug? Like, do you just need me baby you? Like, I'll give you a hug. Well, what you said earlier, you said that that happens in relationships. We lean on each other. Yeah. And I think it's a really, really good move to kind of take a

step back and realize how you're leaning on your partner. And in what ways, and if they were to be gone, how you would handle it. Cause I felt that with myself before, getting comfortable in certain little aspects. And it's really good for us to check ourselves and just see what would we do if we were completely without. Yeah.

Yeah. What would we do? The other thing I was going to say too, is that my mother, She, she, she used to tell me as a very young child that I was the best toilet bowl cleaner ever. Oh. And you know who cleaned all the toilets?

Yeah. Cause you love a good compliment. Oh yeah. So she's something like that. Oh, she knew. It's like, look at this shiny bowl mom. Yeah. She knew what she was doing.

But it's funny because then Alejandra and Sarah at one of our apartments and we had all carpet. Lauren, you're the best toilet bowl cleaner. No, no, no. They were like, you are the best vacuumer. You were so good at vacuuming. And I was like, wait a minute. I know this trick.

I was about to be like, let me vacuum some more. But it's like the opposite. But that's what I thought of. Oh my God. I can still see that too. Like just Lauren, you're such a good vacuumer. I do. I do that to my dad sometimes.

I'm like, you're really good at it. Will you just go, will you do it? Like I have some, I have some strategic and competent sometimes. I'm like, will you just do this? Help me. Just help me. I mean, it feels good to be appreciated too.

So when somebody's appreciating so deeply and saying that you're so great at some stupid ass chore like cleaning the toilet pool, it feels good. Sometimes it feels nice to get your tires pumped. I agree. I agree. Okay. I'm ready for yours.

You've been laughing about it nonstop for two days. Okay. It's been one day again, but it feels like forever. Well, it's so stupid. Honestly, you're going to think I'm a loser after I read it. And you realize that I keep laughing at it whenever I come across it again. Facebook is forcing its moderators to log every second of their

days, even in the bathroom. People have to clock in and out even when going to the toilet and explain the reason why they were delayed, which is embarrassing and humiliating. Comment. I used to work for a company who did this. The staff rebelled by taking it way overboard and clocking out for every tiny thing.

Stuff like drop pen, picking it up. Sorry. I love that. Or couldn't find my glasses. Realize they were on my head. I'm just kidding. It's just so ridiculous. Couldn't find my glasses.

Realize they're in my head. That's what, oh my God, that sent me. Anyway, once the management realized that. That sent me. Yeah. Once the management realized they had to wade through all of this tedious crap and didn't have time to do much else. They soon swept the whole idea under the rug.

Yep. I think that level of like. Found them on my head. Micromanagement. Can you imagine reading that as a manager? That's what you deserve. If you're going to police your employees that much, you deserve that.

That's like, that is. That's jail level micromanagement. Literally that's that jail straight to jail. Yeah. Like that's bad. I like that. Yeah. Me too.

Yeah. I love a good organized union. Exactly. I agree. Look at them coming together. Yeah. Actually that's the stories. Those people.

That's the story I was telling you about my high school. Oh. About, I think I told you the story. The walk out. Yeah, the walk out. You told me about the walk out. Yes. Okay.

So it's, I don't know if it's that much of malicious compliance, but basically there was a bunch of sports players that had pictures on Facebook that they were at a party holding red solo cups. So a mother from a competing sports team decided to print those pictures off and put them on the principal's desk at our school because she wanted her team to win. Very petty. Anyway, the principal said, I have nothing else.

I can't look away. They're in front of me. And so I have to suspend all of these seniors who are about to go and play basketball or whatever sport it was. Like, do you want to? Yeah. In college. And so having to sit out was a big deal their senior year.

Plus they all wanted to, you know, be together. And it's their last year together. Literally that's what. Like they've been building up to their whole life. Essentially at that point. Yeah. Yeah. At that point.

Yeah. And so the argument was, it's a red solo cup. You can't prove that people were underage drinking. And then the entire school, I went to a school of 4,000 kids. The entire school held this walk out where everybody drank water out of red solo cups and walked out of school that day. That's so badass. That's crazy.

I don't know if it did anything, but it was pretty iconic. Yeah. I mean, hopefully the principal learned his lesson. Like that's the thing though. I think a lot of families, like everyone used red solo cups for like 4th of July parties or like drinking out in the yard during summer. Like, I think that's like a very normal cup. So it's like, yeah, it might look like we're at a party,

but what if we were just a big group of friends hanging out? You can't assume. Of course. It makes an ass out of you and me. Yeah. Four of them were drinking alcohol and one of them was drinking water. It's not out of the red solo cup. It's not fair to just assume.

Um, anyway. Not at all. I like that story. Thank you. Okay. I have a prank. Got it. Here we go.

Hi, Jan from Toyota speaking. Jan, I heard it's a good time to buy a Toyota. Sure is. From now until April 4th, you can shop all your favorites like Corolla, RAV4, Sequoia and more. Imagine yourself in a new tundra where... You stopped by the home improvement store and finally built that tree house. You promised your daughter.

Sarah, when did you hop on the call? Hi, dad. Mom said you were taking too long on the phone. Toyota, let's go places. See your participating Toyota dealer for details. Dealer inventory may vary. Am I the asshole for demanding my partner to clean up my urine? Writing on my phone on a throwaway as I really don't need my friends and family

seeing this post. Also, English is not my first language, so excuse any typos. So my partner is quite the prankster. Nothing too serious and usually everyone laughs in the end. However, today I felt they went too far. I was on my way to the bathroom with my air pods in my ears as I've been very into a pod lately. I hope it's ours.

Out of nowhere, they jump out of a closet scaring me to death. I got so scared that I accidentally peed myself and it got on the floor, etc. I had to go quite badly as I just got home after an hour commuting. I exploded in anger and embarrassment as they stood there laughing their ass off. So I yelled that they had to clean up the hallway as I refused to do so and needed a shower. They got quite annoyed and said it was just a prank and it wasn't their fault that I had the bladder control of a toddler. In the end, they did clean it up, but they have been snappy and in a mood since then,

saying I massively overreacted. I told my closest friend about this and they thought I overreacted as well and shouldn't expect others to clean up my urine. I don't believe I'm the asshole, but the fact that my friend also seems to think I overreacted is making me doubt. Not the asshole. No. No.

The caption or subject, I was like, but the story, no, not the asshole. I do think that I never want somebody else to clean up any of my bodily fluids. So like if I had blood on something, I would want to clean it up myself or if I clogged the toilet, I would want to clog it myself. You know, I would even feel really bad if maintenance guy came in. That just would, I would feel bad. You know, I feel like I should clean up after my own bodily shit because it's just not as, it's gross, but it's not as gross when it's yours.

Yeah. Blood doesn't gross me out. I know you don't like blood so much, but like blood, I'm also like a little biased because of like my hospital job, like the amount of poop, blood, pee that I've wiped up. Like it doesn't faze me. Like wiping up pee is the same as wiping up water to me. So like that doesn't faze me at all. Yeah.

I just mean that if I were to accidentally cut myself in your shower when I was shaving my legs and I bled all over your walls and everything. Let's just say, you know what I mean? Like I wouldn't ever leave that situation and be like, oh, it grosses me out. Like clean it up. I appreciate that. But like if my actions caused you to pee and you were like, you did this to me. Yeah.

You should clean it up. Yeah. You purposely came up to me and cut me with my razor and it was all over your bathroom tub. And I'd be like, yeah, you clean it up. And I'm suing you for a salt. Yeah. So that's my point is that in general, like clean up after yourself.

I think that's a given, but when you are the one being or when the other is the one being an asshole and they're the reason for you to have peed on the ground. Yeah. And they should absolutely 10 out of 10 clean up after that because they did it. Yeah. And the fact that they gas lit her that that right there. Let's let's scroll up. What did they say?

It wasn't their fault that I had the bladder control of a toddler. I've peed in the street before. Like I remember it was a cold winter day. I'm running to the next party by myself and I was like going to meet a boy. I was like, so excited. I was like, so in love with this boy at the time. And I was in a skirt in tights and I had to pee so bad and I couldn't make it there. And so I don't know why I was telling the story.

The story is so irrelevant. I think I just wanted an excuse to tell this fucking story right now because it came up in my mind the other day, but I don't know how it relates to the story. Maybe someone can patch it together for me now, but I'm like running to this party and I like pulled my like skirt up and like just peed through the tights. And then when I got to the party, I like went in the bathroom right away and like took my tights and underwear off and threw them away. But like, oh, this is why I was telling it.

I was 22. No one jumped out and scared me, but I still couldn't control my bladder. When you have to pee, you have to pee. And I, I tried to hold it in so long. I walked to the street. I was walking down the street and I would like stop, cross my legs and just don't pee. And then keep walking and then do it again. Don't pee.

You got this. You got your block away. I know it didn't work. I know one of our biology friends here listening knows the actual science to this, but it is truly, it is the thing. Like you have the ability to have a muscle in there that keeps you from letting out your, yeah, you might know this even better than you have a doctor and occupational therapy. I know, but I haven't done my pelvic floor training yet.

I'm going to, I want to be pelvic floor certified. Nice. For what? You can talk about it. Yeah. Well, it's also really useful for sex therapy. Wow. Cause that's my main goal in life.

I want to be a sex therapist. Wow. I didn't know that. Yeah. I never knew that. I love talking about sex. That's your, that's like your dream job. Yeah.

Like consultation. Like your bank password with security questions would be dream job sex therapist. Yeah. Um, yeah. I mean, I think this is my dream job. Like the podcast, honestly at this point is my dream job, but like a fun little sad gig to still use OT and like make me feel like my degree wasn't in vain. Um, and I do like helping people.

So if I can help people on that level, especially like sex and intimacy is such an important part of relationships and an important part of life. So I love talking about it. True. So yeah, that's like, um, that's on my radar. So once you and all hundred start editing and I have more time in my life, that's what I'm going to do. Cool.

Yeah. Love that. Yeah. So pelvic floor has a big, a big, big factor for your, your bladder. Well, regardless, my point was that I know I remember learning in biology years and years ago that there's a point that you, the muscle just, it won't work. You, it just happens. It's just, there's no holding it back.

No matter how much you would try to hold it back, there's, there's no holding it back. And something that really trips me up. I felt like I was about to break into Shawn Mendes. Ain't no holding me back. Um, something that really trips me up that I learned, I learned a couple of things the other day. One, I learned that in France, pelvic floor therapy after childbirth is like something that you automatically get, which is why women in like that country don't have bladder control

problems. We're in the States. We make jokes after childbirth where it's like, I laugh now and I pee myself. I sneeze and my pee myself. That's not a normal thing. Like other countries get pelvic floor therapy after childbirth automatically. But the other thing I learned is when you sit and go to the bathroom, this is for guys, girls, anyone, when you sit there and go to the bathroom, if you're pushing your pee out,

that actually does damage to your pelvic floor. You need to sit and just let it flow. There should be no pushing. Wow. And so like I, when I'm sitting there every time now I'm like, wait, am I pushing or am I just pee? So think about that. I'm over on the toilet.

Like just keep pushing. Just keep. Do you really? Oh no, I'm kidding. Oh my God. I was going to say you're going to put that shit up. No, I'm kidding. But like I do, when I wake up in the middle of the night and I have to pee, I just like,

I want like to get it all out so I don't have to wake up in the middle of the night again. Yeah. So like I'm sure that I've abused that pelvic floor. Yeah. So I think, um, peeing after sex is a good example where it's like, you don't really have to pee, but you know, you need to pee because like flushing bacteria and whatever out of your urethra. So like there's sometimes where I'm sitting there and I'm like, just pee and I like push

a little and I'm like, stop it. Stop it. But you have to cause you're like, I don't want to fucking UTI. Just drink a lot of water. I don't drink enough water. I know I need to get better. I need to get better. If you've ever had to deal with a plumbing problem, you may have felt the pain of realizing

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So I like this one. Not the asshole. I think, I think this is a very justified like maybe this will teach you a lesson about not to prank me. Agreed. I believe that they should definitely clean up the pee. Top comment. Not the asshole.

Your partner better be glad urine was all they had to clean up. They're lucky they didn't scare the shit out of you. Oh, because this comment made me laugh. And someone else goes, they're lucky you don't have a fight reflex as well. I may have hit them hard. I have seen a prank on TikTok and that way too. And on Reddit, there was like a today I fucked up story where he was like, today I fucked up by scaring my girlfriend.

And he literally like popped out and she ended up breaking the dude's nose. She was like, bam, which is me. I'm so jumpy these days. Like if you jump out at me, I'm going to be like, ah, I'm going to punch. So don't prank me. Yeah. I think I told you this, but when I was younger, I worked at Hollister. I love that for you.

No, you must have smelled so nice. Oh, I really did not like working there at all. It was toxic. Oh God. Well, I also, I went in one time because my friend said they have really great prices on jeans. So it was the phase where Hollister was not the cool thing to do anymore. It was just kind of like, oh Hollister, it smells so loud.

Yeah, reeks. Yeah. But anyway, I went in there to check out their jeans and as they love to poach people to work there, they're like, you want to jump? And I was like, rad. Cool. Sure. Yeah.

Yeah. Do you feel like you got scouted? Well, like your job is technically like you're a model when you work there. Yeah. They definitely try to pump your tires. And like I said, I ended up cleaning toilet bowls my entire childhood because my mom said I was good. So I was like, yeah, I'm going to work here.

Oh my God. But also growing up in Minnesota, like I grew up, you in Minneapolis had a lot more options, but growing up in like Duluth, Northern Minnesota, like Hollister was like all we had. Like that's literally was Hollister or the buckle. Those were like your two places to get clothes. So it's like in certain places that like, and Abercrombie's making a comeback. So. Oh my God, I know.

This shit is fire. So good now. Abercrombie, we would take some free jeans. But they just, in the past, they were so obnoxious, that entire company. Yeah. And they really did some rebranding and remodeling. So good for them. But yeah, in the past, there was, you know, obviously everyone I feel like knows.

Yeah. But I worked there for a little bit and long story short, I was folding clothes in Betty's one, if anyone else has ever worked there. And this is very niche market right now. Right. And anyway, I'm like humming folding clothes for a while. All of a sudden, I see in the corner of my eye, somebody hovering over me. And I turned and I screamed.

Obviously, no one could hear me because the music's so goddamn loud. That was my least favorite part. I hate loud music. Hate it in the car, in a restaurant, in a store. Get out of here with that stuff. Well, anyway, it wasn't a person. Actually, it was a mannequin. So more of the stories can be really goddamn jumpy.

I'm so jumpy. I see a shadow and I jump. I'm scared of the dark. And so like going outside or going out in the parking garage by myself, like I will not because my building keeps getting broken into an Amazon package gets stolen multiple times. One time they took my puzzle. And then the other time I went down to my lobby and one of my old patients was like in it trying to find a warm place to sleep.

So like my building scares me. It's not a nice building. Jared Fried might have made it seem like it. It's not. And so like, I'm scared of the dark. So like, I don't do stuff that's going to make me get scared. Like I jump at my own shadow. Were you ever in places where you had to turn the light off downstairs?

And then run upstairs? Yeah. Ran faster than I have my farmhouses like that in Minnesota. It's a very old house. And like the light switch is literally like if the stairs are here, like the stairs go up right here, the light switch is all the way down over here at the opposite end. So you have to like hit the light switch and then like try to run to the stairs, find it and then go upstairs.

So thank God for iPhone flashlights now because I'm just like, I know, like I can't go anywhere in the dark. And my great grandma died in that house. So I know she's not haunting the place. She was a lovely woman. I love her. But she'd be haunting it with love. It's still, it's just like kind of just, you know, makes you feel a certain way in the

dark and get that in the daytime. No feeling in the dark. Lots of feelings. I get that. I mean, so fucking weird. I didn't notice. So that must mean I'm on your wavelength too. I love that.

This thing keeps flickering. I know. So annoying. Fuck you, neon man. But I did Yelp reviews. I looked at everything and no one told me, Oh, your thing's going to fucking flicker. Okay. Let's get into a couple of malicious compliance.

So this is going to be really funny, depending on how old you are, because I read this story and I was like, Oh my God, this feels like a fever dream. So we'll see. So the title is you're going to assign me to make balloon animals at a site with no kids. Okay. I'll just do my job. Way back in the long ago in the B four times mid level chain restaurants, they would have these people walk around to make balloon animals for kids as they waited for their food.

I was a teenager and needed money. So I did this for a while. The restaurant would pay this agency and they would tell us what restaurant to go to and when key to the story is that we were not paid on at on an average night. I'd make around $50 and tips over three hours on special nights. It could be as high as 200, but if there were no customers, I'd make nothing. After working for several months, I must have fallen out of someone's favor and I got assigned to a restaurant in the business district.

I have no idea why they wanted someone making balloon animals there. The key audience was kids and I never saw anyone under 30. The first night there, I made $5, which wasn't even enough to cover mass transit to and from the location. After being assigned there twice in a row, I complained, but was told that if I didn't go, I'd be banned from any more assignments. Cue the malicious compliance. The next week when I was assigned there, which was the third time in a row, I waited until

there were a couple guys at the bar that were tipsy. I go up and ask if they want balloon hats, no charge. They were hesitant, but I promised they'd be good. They agreed and I got to work. I broke out all of my skills to make these hats. There were clearly people in a cage. The people were all pink and had prominent bubbles on the chest and derriere. An inflated balloon tied around the waist made for a bikini bottom and a carefully tied

balloon in their hand made for a bikini top. They asked what it was and I told them a stripper in a cage. Yeah, this guy seems like an artist. How can you get that detailed? That's amazing. They loved it. I got a $20 tip, but more importantly, they went to every person in the restaurant to show off their stripper in cages hats.

They demanded to talk to the manager to tell him how awesome it was. The super uptight fundamentalist manager. Manager was majorly pissed and told me to go home early. Agency called, pissed off, but I used my most innocent voice to tell them I was just making what the customer asked for and I didn't know they'd make a scene. Agency said, well, they banned you from ever coming back. The next week I was back to another about $17 an hour location. Amazing.

It's the best of everything. I love it. I love it. This is so great. Yeah. This is a healthy, healthy, healthy, malicious compliance. Yes, yes. I agree.

An artist. I like it. No, honestly, I'm like, how the hell does he have that much talent? Like what? I wonder if we can find a picture of it because he must have seen it somewhere. People that have talent in making balloon animals. Yeah. Like that is super cool to me.

Oh, there's one. This one is not stripper in a cage, but it's a woman on a strip pole. I need that one. That one's pretty good. I love the strip pole one. Balloon art is really crazy. This one's a ballerina, a scarecrow, a ram. I mean, there's some beautiful balloon art.

Oh, look it. Wait, what's that one? The ponies. It looks like a bird cage with parrots in it. That one is insane. Beautiful. Look at the, it's a, what kind of parrot is that? The rainbow colored one.

I know the name of it. A macaw. It's a macaw. Yeah. Let me just fact check myself. Isn't that Toucan, Sam or no? No, Toucan's are mostly black. This is a beautiful macaw.

Toucan Sam isn't a macaw. Toucan Sam is a Toucan. And he looks like this. They're mostly black with an orange beak. Go back to the other one. Macaws are mostly red with rainbow. They're little rainbow birds. They're so pretty.

Oh, I think you, I like it. Actually, I saw one of those. They were right outside of our Airbnb. Oh, go fuck yourself. Okay. That's so cool. I was all jealous. Did you not see I posted on my story?

No. You blocked me. No. Didn't want to look at my stories. I muted you. He muted me. Yeah, you didn't. No, I didn't.

I have just been like really bad about social media lately where I go on to like post for like the two hot takes account and then I'm like, cleanse. Yeah. So I don't, I don't go on as much as I used to. I'm kidding regardless. I didn't block you, but I want to see no. Okay. I'll show you.

Okay. That was a quick one. I obviously love it. I think that's a very healthy way to handle it because like they tried to approach their boss and was like, Hey, you're sending me to this shit location three times in a row. And the fact that they got banned now and couldn't go back. Love that for them. I think it's amazing.

Love it. I love it. Also, and I want him to also make me balloon art because I think it's really fascinating. I think this is, maybe we just try to make our own. THTN supervised. I mean, we can try. But I would love to help instruct us first. I'll, I'll reach out.

I'll send a message. Okay. Um, there is an edit that said, yes, it was in the U S. It was probably legal to not pay me, but it was in the nineties. I was a teenager. I didn't know better and I was happy enough with the money I made most of the time. I remember this happening to me. Applebee's restaurant in Duluth, Minnesota must have been late nineties.

I literally had balloon art made for me at Applebee's. I know. So I heard this and I was like, Oh my God, this feels like a fever dream. This has happened to me. I've been there. Well, I was thinking about that too. All the times that I've had balloon art, I think that I was around or in a restaurant. Yeah.

Why was that a thing? I don't know. You know why? Kids didn't have iPads back then. What did you do when you were at dinner waiting with your parents? They were coloring menus back then. Still are. Yeah.

But like kids don't care. They want their iPad. I worked at Perkins coloring menu and me. We like this. I still play with the menus to be honest, but I also have little ones in my family. So we'll play tic-tac-toe and stuff. So I want to be honest. This was one of my moves in college or like wherever I was at, I would like go on dates

with guys and we'd go to these restaurants, whatever. And I would always get the coloring menu to play tic-tac-toe because it was something to do versus like, oh, let's have this awkward like conversation. It was like, oh, let's get a coloring book. Let's play tic-tac-toe. Let's like goof off. That was my move. So if anyone wants it.

Well, also another one of your moves combining this story and our Abercrombie story is remember when you, I used to take boys to bingo too. That was a move of mine. Oh my God. Remember when you reached over, when you were flirting with the cashier at Abercrombie and you reached over and fed out the receipt. Stop. And ripped it and wrote your number on it.

I was just trying to get a discount. She did. She got a discount, which is insane. Who gets a discount at the cashier of Abercrombie when it's fully not a discounted item? Yeah. This is what confidence can get you because I look at myself and I'm like, I wasn't even that cute at the time. Like, I think I'm like, shut up.

No, no, no. But like, I was probably cuter than the now, maybe even. Oh my God. But this is what confidence can get you guys. Confidence is the battle. Be confident in whatever you do and you'll get what you want because that was that moment. Like I literally went up and I was like, hi, this was on the sale rack, but how much is it?

And he goes, he has full price. And they go, well, it was on the sale rack. So, and so he gave me the discount. And then Lauren comes up with the same pants and I go, I go, uh, what she said, what she said. So I let him go. You gave me a discount. Can you give my friend one too?

And then he gave us the discount and we were like 20 something girls had just moved to LA. So I literally knew how like receipt things work from all the restaurants I worked at. So I hit the thing, pulled out receipt, ripped the paper, wrote my number down. I go, if you want to do something fun sometime, I don't even know what I said. What did I say? Do you remember exactly? If you, if you want a good time, call me.

I said that. No, you didn't. You didn't. Oh, I was going to say that was really scandalous. What did I say? You remember? If you've been looking for a good time, call candy, 1-800-CANDY. How cocky was that though?

That was some cocky stuff. No, um, you just basically were like, well, what are you doing tonight? We're going to be out X, Y, Z. So here's my number. Yeah. Here's my number. His eyes were like, what just happened? I know.

I know. It was cocky. It was great. I need that confidence back. It's still there. It's still there. Let me harness that. Yeah.

I mean, San Diego last weekend kind of approved. I still got it. What happened? Nothing. I said you to do everything. I go, Lauren, Lauren, Lauren. We like went to this like club. It was the first time I've been in a club since pre COVID.

And like, you always want to end up on the DJ booth. Like, it's like what you want to do. Actually, she whispered in my ear and she said, it's not about getting up there. It's just about the challenge. Yeah. I was like, it is fair enough. It's a challenge.

So I was like, Lauren, see what you can do. So moving along. Moving along. Hi, Jan from Toyota speaking. Jan, I heard it's a good time to buy Toyota. Sure is. From now until April 4th, you can shop all your favorites like Corolla, RAV4, Sequoia, and more.

Imagine yourself in a new tundra where You stopped by the home improvement store and finally built that tree house. You promised your daughter. Sarah, when did you hop on the call? Hi, dad. Mom said you were taking too long on the phone. Toyota, let's go places. See your participating Toyota dealer for details.

Dealer inventory may vary. Okay. So this one, do you want to go first? Up to you. What do you want? You can go. Okay. And 15 minutes late.

Q, malicious compliance. 15 minutes. This happened about a decade ago at my first job. It was an IT analytics service firm in India. I'm from India. While working was interesting, the work hours were insane, and folks used to work 12 hours a day, usually. Since we had conference calls with our counterparts sitting in USA,

we ended our work day pretty late. 10 p.m. was my usual time. Due to this, folks used to come in the office late in the morning as well. Usually entire team would only be in by noon. Management was not happy about this. So they went ahead and decided that everybody had to be in by 10 a.m. And if you are not, then they will dock half day pay. We are salaried employees.

Usually managers were supposed to enforce this, but they didn't care since they were in office with teams themselves. But occasionally HR would stand in the entrance to office and implement the policy. On one such day, I was 15 minutes late, and HR at gate stopped me and informed me that I would have a docked half day pay. I stopped for a second, thought about it, and turned back.

HR stopped me with a shocked expression and asked, where are you going? I replied, back home. I'll see you at lunch. And went home, ignoring this with a protest. Fair. Fair. I would have done the same thing. Fair. You're not paying me for half the day?

I'm not going to be here for half the day. I actually ended up calling my manager and just took the day off. After this incident, I heard similar stories from many people that HR stopped enforcing this policy. I love that. Right? See, okay. So the reason why we kind of like started this whole thing too,

where it was like malicious compliance, is a toxic, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like the reason that these people maliciously comply typically is for toxic like reasons. And so I'm like, is it toxic and passive aggressive? Or are these people just fighting with the only leg they have left to stand on? So I want, I want someone to come fight me on the other side of this. I, okay. So I do, I do want to tell you one that I was racking my brain thinking

about any malicious compliance act that I've done personally. Yes. And I really couldn't figure anything out. It's kind of hard. I want to challenge all of you guys to think about an instance that you've done. I couldn't. I tried. Yeah.

I thought about one. So I was in college at the time. So me and Morgan were in college together at University of Minnesota. The gym there for some reason. And that's the thing. So I was talking Morgan about the fact that it is a liberal school. Is this about the cut off tank tops? Oh, you knew.

I didn't even say it to you yesterday. No. You remember? Yeah, they were really annoying about it. So yes, exactly. So I had a t-shirt, a normal freaking t-shirt. And I had the neckline cut off just because that was cool at the time. I think I don't know.

Maybe it wasn't. No, it was a trend to like cut the neckline off. Yeah. It was. And then anyway, it's more breathable for me too than having like a really tight color t-shirt. So obviously the policy was because they don't, they want to show less skin, which was really weird to me because they didn't really have policies in our classrooms,

but for whatever reason, the gym, they wanted to have fully covered bodies. Yeah. And so I'm wearing a cut off tee. Well, just the neckline cut off. And this guy comes up to me and hands me this shirt from, what do you call it? Lost and Found. A huge baggy shirt, smelly shirt and says, you can't wear that. You can't.

And I said, why? He said, because it's a cut off. And so I said, all right. I put the baggy t-shirt on and then right in front of him, I grabbed the neck of this t-shirt and stretch it out to be right around my shoulders. I fucking love that. Anyway, and then as I left, this was kind of petty, but as I left the gym, I walked right past him and took my shirt off with my sports bra on right in front of him and left the

gym. I think that's the thing that's like showcases how different the times are because like girls work out and just sports bras nowadays, like, and like, that's kind of like the fitness influencer outfit. It's like a sports bra and like it's like a matching set, like that's the vibe. So it's crazy to me. I also think it was crazy because that was like a cut off policy. It really dates us.

God damn. It does date us. But it's also insane because you look at guys that would be at the gym at the same time. And all the guys would be wearing t-shirts that they cut off to be tank tops. Yes. And it scooped so low where you would see their ribs. You would see everything. It's like, you're going to, you're going to tell me I can't have a scooped.

Exactly. I can't wear like also like you could, you couldn't have a cut off. I feel like at one time too, like you could wear tank tops and the next day I came in and it was like, you can't wear tank tops anymore. I don't know. They couldn't have your shoulders showing. This is the reason what you said is the exact reason that I was so mad though, because I was watching guys right in front of me have these cut off teas that were worse.

Yeah. That were around their midsection, whereas mine was just cutting off the collar. Whatever. I'm not trying to impress anyone with my ugly ass. It literally said, the shirt had said ugly on there. It was lime green and it said ugly. I remember it specifically. What else did it say?

On the back, it just said zero one, ugly number one. It was this, uh, this thing for my sports team that we did as a joke. Okay. Okay. Uh, cause one of the, one of the captains or what do you call it? Yeah. He used to call everyone like ugly one, ugly number two, get in line. Oh my gosh.

He was super funny though. Yeah. And so everybody surprised him showing up one day with ugly shirts. That's funny. And everyone had a number on the back. That might be malicious compliance as well. That's a good boy. You have a lot.

You have so many. Wow. Look at you. Yeah. So that was, that was that. I did feel a little bad afterwards because I mean, he's just a kid trying to do his job. You know? Yeah.

I don't know. He didn't have to be the one to enforce it. Like turn a blind eye. Exactly. Look the other way. Exactly. I'm sorry that my shoulders are too hot for you and you can't focus on your job. That's like the thing about like, I'm just kidding.

Trying to ban yoga pants in high school. We talked about that the other day. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Okay. Moving along from our glory days. So the title is, and this is coming from the malicious compliance subreddit. The title is buy what I can afford.

Okay. Last month I was shopping around for a washing machine for context. I'm in Nairobi, Kenya. Yes, it's a place. Yes, it's in Africa. Yes, we have electricity and running water and I'm a bit of a late bloomer. So I look more like a 23 year old, but I'm 32. Also, I'm a photographer and I dress for comfort.

So I more often than not look homeless. Back to the story. I looked up what I wanted online and saw it was available at one of the major chains, but since I was free, I decided to go to the store in person. I went straight to the section with laundry equipment and one of the salesman came up to me. I was busy checking out the model. I wanted opening the door, reading the spec sheet and whatnot. So after he greeted me, we started talking about it.

He asked if I'm interested in buying it and I told him I'm considering it and asked for the price. It was just shy of $900. I knew from their website. But since I was in the store, I asked if they had in-store discounts or discounts for return customers and inquired about payment plans. I had bought a cooker there a few months before, so I knew all of these things existed. And while I could afford to buy the washer outright, it would have left me a little cash strapped and I wanted to spread the payment out over two or three weeks.

Also, I'm frugal, so I always look for discounts. Same, download Honey. Around this time, a well-dressed couple came into the same section, probably looking to buy something as well. And as soon as the salesman saw them, he walked to them and left me hanging. I called to him like, hey, I wasn't done. And he said, I'm serving a client now. I'll come back to you in a bit. In the meantime, look around for something you can afford.

I was furious, but I'm a bit of a coward, so I walked away and went to the customer service station and started making my inquiry all over again. The attendant offered to call a sales agent for me, same guy. Apparently, he's the go-to guy for washing machines. But I declined. I told her I already knew what I wanted and I just needed someone to help me with the paperwork and payment, and I'll be on my way. She did just that.

I paid the full amount out of spite. And as we were finishing up, the salesman came up to her claiming I was his client, which I denied, and the sales attendant listed herself as the sales agent. It turns out they earn a 10% commission from each sale, and the guy just missed out on a decent bonus. Salesmen earn around $300 plus commissions monthly. As I left, I turned to him and said, turns out I could afford it. With the biggest grin I could muster, felt good. Best part, the couple he ditched me for left without buying anything.

Amazing. What does this feel like to you? Well, Pretty Woman was the first thing I was thinking of. Yes, it was mine too. You made a big mistake. Huge. Like, don't judge a book by its cover. Do your job.

I agree. And you'll succeed. I agree. You missed out. I agree. I completely agree. Yeah. I need to find a bad malicious compliance.

We need a bad one. We need a bad one that can be like, yeah, no, that was toxic as fuck. I don't think any of mine are toxic that I found, actually. No, I might have one. I have literally 12 in this folder. I mean, the Christmas one, or the, yeah, Christmas one is the one that you already read another episode, but that was pretty malicious. What Christmas?

The Janet one. Yeah, I did read that one. That was hilarious. I'm honestly, again, I, I, I get that these are probably not great. But to me, I just like, I'm like, it's kind of karma. Okay. I think I have one that we might be able to argue as being bad. So the title is been everything in this room.

You got it, boss. A few months ago, two owners at my work had a huge disagreement, which had escalated to full blown screaming matches in the middle of the office and nearly into several physical fights. It came to a head last Friday and owner A decided to pack it all in and leave effective immediately. After lunch, owner B called the warehouse manager up to the office and pointed at owner A's office, situated just off the main open plan office

and said, I'm too stressed to deal with this, so I'm going home. Been everything in that room. I don't want to see a shred of evidence that owner A worked here when I get back on Monday morning. The warehouse manager looked at the offending office and back at owner B and goes, quote, are you sure you want to bin everything, boss? Owner B looked ready to explode already. Finally, this extra bit of clarification sent him over the edge.

Quote, did I stutter? Get rid of everything in there or you can clear out your desk too. And so owner B stormed off and our warehouse manager took out his walkie-talkie, summoned up two of his warehouse staff and relayed the instructions. The warehouse workers questioned it and got the same answer. Yes, been absolutely everything. And so they got to work. Owner A's personal effects were put into a box and sealed up to be taken to him

by one of the purchasing staff who lived nearby his house. Everything else was bagged up and put into bins. The paperwork and stationery were boxed up to be shredded and destroyed. Next, the monitor and printer were taken to the bins, followed by the desk and chair. When I left at 4 p.m., the warehouse workers were just starting to take down the wall-mounted bookshelves. I would have expected them to stop there, but when I got in this morning, there was nothing in the office.

The curtains and blinds were gone, plug sockets and light fittings taken off the walls, leaving exposed wires. The tiles removed from the ceiling, showing the ductwork and wiring above. The carpet that owner A requested to be put in was torn up, leaving the underlay. Even the door with owner A's name plaque on it was taken off the hinges. It looks like a construction site in there. Owner B came in at 10 this morning, took one look at the bomb site and started screaming his head off and demanded to see the warehouse manager.

He wanted whoever did this to put this right and then get off site as they were fired. If no one owned up, walk the dogs, school drop off, meetings from 10 to 3, take kids to soccer, then no time left for a jog. When everyone else is relying on you, it's easy to put your needs last. BetterHelp connects you with a licensed therapist online, so you can show up for yourself the way you do for others. Find more balance with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com today to get 10% off your first month.

That's BetterHELP.com. Then the whole warehouse shift was fired. Our warehouse manager never wanted to give a shit, just peered in the office and said, you said bin everything, boss. Looks like they did and walked off. Owner B looked like he was going to burst a vessel. Good.

Again, I can't argue. I like it. I think the lesson here is that don't ever look someone in the eye and say, did I stutter? I'm so fucking rude. Rude bitch. Let's bring that one back. Unless you're saying it as a joke, don't ever fucking look at someone angrily and say, did I stutter?

Also, that's kind of mean. Especially when they're your employees. Treat everyone with kindness. Let's be great bosses here. Yeah, exactly. And it's also like, okay, yeah, his workers could have left the wall mounted bookcases in and the light sockets and the ceiling tiles and the carpet.

Don't take everything so literally. He didn't mean it probably as literally as he meant. But also, if they wouldn't have done that, do you think he would have learned his lesson? I don't know if he'll learn his lesson this way either, though. I think he might. You think so? Maybe a little. And even if he doesn't,

the satisfaction that these people have, the money he has to waste to now fix everything. Karma. I like it. I like it too. This is shaped up to be something I didn't expect. What do you mean? A lot of these I thought were maybe going to have an argument for them being toxic.

And maybe the listeners can shed some light in the comments on YouTube and whatever. I thought we don't look at comments. For other people. No, I read the comments initially and then I hide. But I think these stories will facilitate a good conversation. I have one more. Quick one. And then I also have a story for the Patreon.

So we'll do that. So, Last Malicious Compliance. Title is, Blowing a major aerospace company's mind with a foreign graduate degree. I worked for a big American technology and defense firm with tens of thousands of employees. A senior executive who had worked there successfully for years was caught with a falsification on his resume.

He was fired immediately and a new policy was instituted requiring all employees to sign a form, giving the company permission to query the college or university with their highest claimed degree for verification. I have a doctorate from an old prestigious European university, an institution that I was quite sure would have no interest in such a query. But whatever. I signed the permission form and attached a note warning the company

that the university would probably ignore such a request, which it did. After a month or two with no response, HR called me in and said that the university had not responded, as I warned, but that corporate would accept a photocopy of my degree. Fine, I'm good with that. Remember the quote old prestigious university part?

My degree is a piece of actual parchment about the size of a throw rug with a wax seal about a centimeter thick and written entirely in Latin. So I bring it in the office and photocopy it a bit at a time by sliding it around on the photocopier window. It takes like 12 pages to get it all. I staple them into a pile and give it to HR,

who reluctantly pass it on to corporate. Another month passes, HR calls me in again, corporate is complaining that your degree is written in a foreign language. Yep, I say, it's in Latin. Tell them to find a priest to translate it and walked out. Never heard from them again about it. At it for clarification, this took place well over 20 years when stuff like this did not all happen on the web.

Snail mail and paper were standard. Commenters are taking the throw rug similarly a little too literally. It's quite large, but would make a rather measly throw rug. My work was in the civilian sector and did not require a clearance. The fact that I am an American with a foreign PhD did not cause any hassle. Wow. I think that we should bring back those type of degrees. I really like this idea.

I want one. It's like so beautiful. Like make it a full length framed thing. I like it. Yeah. Picasso. I'm into it. I'm into it too.

I think like someone needs to send me a truly toxic malicious compliance because maybe I'm just not finding them. But these all seem like kind of a mic drop to me. Yeah, I agree. They're very like mic drop like let's just like lay the cards out. I don't know. I'm okay with it. Yeah, me too.

It seems okay to me too. I like it. I'll give people a preview for the revenge one. Is the revenge one the patreon one? Oh, okay. So I have one more revenge one for the actual episode and then I have a revenge one for the patron. Okay.

Okay. They're just so good. I just don't want to sell the people short. So the title is am I the asshole for telling my soon to be mother-in-law that my engagement ring is cursed? I female 26 just got engaged. My soon to be mother-in-law is a nightmare. We are currently renovating a part of our place and she has been lent a key in the

meantime because she keeps coming over uninvited under the guise of helping clean up. But she really just likes to snoop and interfere. I do martial arts and take my engagement ring off before class. I came home from an afternoon class one day and my engagement ring was not in the jewelry dish that I leave it in. I asked her about it and she told me that she'd taken it to a jeweler to get it cleaned. She looked super smug about it. And when I asked which jeweler she pretended she couldn't remember, I didn't want to give

her the satisfaction. Satisfaction. I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of having a reaction to it. So I just let it slide for a couple of days. A couple of days passed and I asked her about it again and she's super vague. I don't want to talk about it. Vag? Vag? Vag? I added a new accent to it.

I don't know. Vag. I don't know. I'm scared. I don't know. It's vague. Okay, good. Yeah.

Still pretending she can't remember which jeweler and saying she's too busy to go pick it up anytime soon. So I said, quote, wow. I feel really... Sorry. It's not vague, is it? Fuck. Okay.

Sorry. Go on. Fuck you. How do you pronounce the word V-A-G-U-E? It's vague. Vag. Vag is pronounced vague and rhymes with Craig. Or is it crag?

Craig? Craig. Crag. Craig. It's vague. Okay. Craig. Vag.

Vag. Okay. So I said, wow, I really feel for that jeweler. Hope nothing happens to her. She asked what I meant and I told her that my superstitious Brazilian grandmother had performed some traditional ritual on it that's usually known to curse anyone who takes or handles the ring other than the owner. She looked uneasy and asked me a couple more questions about the ritual and I made up some

story about how my mother's ring had been taken by a burglar who was crushed by a pillar of cement on his way out of the house. I totally made the entire ritual up and I do have a Brazilian grandmother, but obviously she did not do some sort of ritual to my ring. The next day my fiance told me while I was out that she was there to clean up a bit. Lo and behold, I get home, she already left, and find my ring where I had left it. It didn't look any cleaner than it had before, LOL. A week later, I receive an abusive call from her saying she'd been in a minor car accident

and she was blaming me and my witch doctor grandmother saying she was now cursed for having touched it. I passed the phone to my fiance who tried to calm her down, but she was hysterical. I told my fiance what I told her and he scolded me a bit because we both know how she is and I should have known she'd react this sort of way. It's been a further week since then and she refuses to talk to me and keeps slandering me to my fiance. Overall, he sort of recognizes how ridiculous she's been, but the drama of this situation is making me wonder if the whole curst tale was taking it a bit too far. So, am I the asshole?

Okay, so my question before I answer if she's the asshole is that why did the mother take the ring? She's being a toxic mother-in-law. She definitely did not go get it cleaned because I forgot what jeweler it was. No chance. You're going to take someone's engagement ring. She wanted to create drama in her life or she wanted to literally sabotage it so they didn't get married. They're not married yet. A mother-in-law that doesn't like their child's fiance is going to put their feet in the sand and drag themselves until the day.

They're going to throw all the knives at this thing in hopes that they can stop it. I've just never heard of that before though. Stealing of the, no, not that, but the stealing of the engagement ring. Would she just steal it and be like, oh my god, the cleaner lost it? I mean, I've seen a lot of the mother-in-law stole the wedding dress. So what's the difference? They're both needed. They're both pretty important.

What did she do with the wedding dress? She hid it until she got in trouble and then she brought it back saying, oh, it was just a joke. I think that one, I think that one might be in my revenge folder too. But yeah, it's bad. That is super interesting. Well, okay, I think that if the mother-in-law was doing this a lot, then it kind of puts her in her place. But also, I don't know if it does put her in her place because now it's going to, she's probably going to isolate the situation and just think like, you're evil.

You have like evil in your family that's like having curses on you. Yeah, and she's not going to be like, that means that everything else, I'm going to treat you better now, you know? Because she's going to be like, oh, it's just because of the curse. True. So I don't feel like it taught her a lesson enough that it was really worth it. I think it's funny. But yeah, she's still a little bit of the asshole. Justified asshole.

Justified asshole. Here we go. But also, I don't know if she would have gotten her ring back if she wouldn't have done this. That's another story. So if she didn't get her ring back, then yes, it's no question. Yeah, and I guess that's where you're like, is this the point where you do take revenge or like act like this? Because if you wouldn't have gotten your ring back, then it's very clear that the mother-in-law is toxic. The mother-in-law is clearly goofy or has a few bolts loose, unhinged, toxic, whatever you want to say, but it's clear.

And so the fiance can then look at this situation where it is more black and white. My mom stole your ring. My mom's a crazy bitch versus my mom stole your ring, but you fought fire with fire and you told her she was going to be cursed and now we have more issues in our life. Well, as far as we know it, the mom, because we don't have proof that she was stealing it or hiding it. As far as we know it, the husband's version is my mom went to go get your ring cleaned and you told her this story. Yeah. Now she's freaking out. But also, like rings clearly look cleaner when you clean them, so like she didn't even get it cleaned.

She was just hiding it in her house. For what? But do you feel like that would hold up in a court of law with your husband? I'm joking. I don't mean court of law, but I mean, do you feel like you could convince your husband that? Justin, yeah. Justin would like look at this and be like, yeah, like, okay, probably what could have been made easier, but like, deserved. No, no, no, no.

I'm saying like the actual cleanliness of it. Could you be like, look at here, hubby. This is where my ring looked before and now it looks the exact same. She didn't get it cleaned. I don't know if an average boy would notice this sort of thing. Yeah. So that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.

I think that it, it's a great idea, but as of right now, yeah, but as of right now, the husband's just going to think my mom went to clean your ring and you told her this crazy story and now she's freaking out and now I have to deal with this craziness. I just love it so much though. I know it is really funny. No, this is, this is one of the stories where this one might be a little, a little toxic. Like you're, you're being toxic and in return. Yeah, a little bit. A little bit. Let's look at the comments.

I just don't think it yielded a good enough result for it to be worth it. Yeah. I would agree with that. I would agree with that. I think she should have ended up on top. But I'd like, like you said though, if she, if her ring was gone for weeks. Yeah. It sounds like weeks.

Oh really? That's inexcusable. You can literally do it. That's crazy. Yeah. Like, and typically when you go and get a ring cleaned, like I, I have a Cartier ring that like my mom bought for my graduation present from. My doctorate, whatever. I lost that one.

Sad day. Justin just replaced it. It was really nice. So when you go to like a jewelry store. Are you wearing it? Yeah. Pretty. It looks so clean.

It is new and sparkly still. Um, but I had taken my old one in to get cleaned and you don't leave your ring. Typically it's, you sit around for 10 minutes because they drop it in a chemical, like brush it off and you get it back. Like my mom worked at a jewelry store for years. Like, and her jewelry store was at a mall and so people would like walk in. Oh, I'm going to drop my ring off to get cleaned. I'm going to go do some other shopping, but I'll be right back. It's not like a, you send it out for weeks.

If it was getting repaired. Yeah. That's a different story, but typically ring cleanings are very fast. So the fact she's like, one, it took longer than a week. Two, she couldn't remember the ring cleaner. That's weird. That's, that's concerning. That's concerning.

What do you, what do you mean you don't remember? How are you going to find it? How are you going to get my ring back? Concerning. So again, I'm, I'm going back and forth on this. I'm like, I'm kind of the asshole. I'm kind of not the asshole. I'm kind of.

Everyone sucks here. It might be just an everyone sucks. Okay. I don't know. I'm very torn on this one. I kind of like just everyone sucks. Everyone sucks. Mother-in-law sucks.

You suck for playing to her fucking violin. You playing to her fiddle. What's the saying? I think that sounds about right. You played to her fiddle. So I don't know. I just, I think this might be an everyone sucks, but. What does the audience think?

So. Or I shouldn't say the audience. The people. Yeah. The people, the commenters, the redditors, redditors. What do you call people that are on Reddit a lot? Redditors. Redditors.

Okay. Yeah. So this was posted November 11th, 2021. Top comment was 17,000 upvotes at this point in time. Not the asshole. That's hilarious. The nerve of her taking your ring. She deserves the curse.

I'm just sorry. It's causing trouble for you. I kind of think your fiance earned it by tolerating her behavior and not having changed the locks already. Also, have you checked your ring? I don't understand why she'd take it unless it was to keep it away from you. Does she disapprove of the engagement or of you taking it off? Even if it's for a good reason, was she going to swap stones and claim to

have lost it? I'd really need to know her motivation for taking it. You might want to come clean before she meets your grandmother at the wedding though. That's another thing. Swapping stones is a big issue and K, K jewelers, you know, the big chain for people taking their ring, like their rings in for sizing, cleaning, and they would swap out stones.

And so they would take out your stone and put it a less expensive stone in it and then sell that more expensive stone. What the hell? Yeah. So if you're a K jewelry recipient purchaser, maybe go check your diamond. How can they do that? I mean, they can't. They're getting sued.

They're getting sued. But I just don't understand, like who told them they could? Is it the people that are working that are? No, it's just them being criminals. So you think that it came from top down? I don't know. It was a widespread problem though. I think it might be a widespread problem in jewelry places everywhere.

I don't know. So I don't know if I've had a ring that's worth more than $30. So I haven't really faced these type of problems to be quite frank. But it's good to know. It's good to know. Yeah. So OP replies to that comment actually though and goes, she's never vocally disagreed with the engagement, but she has definitely interfered.

I personally think it was just to mess with me or keep it from me. I really don't know. I don't think she ever took it to a jeweler to be honest. And someone else goes, she didn't take it to a jeweler. She took it because she's a thief. That's a whole another issue you need to resolve starting with changing the locks. Also, you and your fiance need to figure out how to stop her from messing with you or else this will be a strain on your entire marriage, especially if you have children,

which is very true. So, and one of the other things that I'd like to point out too is the fact that they said, well, your husband probably deserved it because he's tolerated this and like, or let this behavior go on, which is actually a good point. The fact that the law, I mean, I guess, I mean, I would love to have my mom have an extra key for my place and be able to come in and just like feel comfortable there. But if the mom treats my partner that way, then no, you lose that privilege. The other thing too is that you should never take somebody's something without letting

them know, even if it's a favor, because she could accidentally have lost it. It's not her ring. You're not wearing it. You might accidentally drop it. It's just like, that's an extra anxiety to have somebody take something from you, even if they're trying to do something nice. Well, who knows how expensive it was. Well, and that's my point is that even my friend the other day, she left her earrings

with a guy and the guy met up with her for dinner, brought her earrings with to dinner, opened up his pocket and there was only one earring. No. Yeah. And she was really freaking sad and he was like, she was like, oh, it must just be back at your place. He goes, nope, buy 100% put two in there. They fell out of my pocket probably when I was in the Uber or when I was doing whatever.

Oh, and so it's just the thing where it's like, you don't want people traveling around with your jewelry, especially if you don't give them permission. So regardless, that's really annoying. Yeah. But she did that. Even if she genuinely was trying to do something nice, like if she really did bring it to get cleaned. Yeah.

Still annoying. That sucks. You know? Oh, really? Yeah, that's a tough one. But I agree. Like don't touch people's valuables. Like I would not, especially valuables, but like stuff in general, like I would not even

take a pop tart from your house without asking you. That's like just a pop tart, like a piece of food. I wouldn't clean one of your blankets without asking you because you might be like, it's a dry clean only, even if I'm trying to do something nice. Exactly. You know? That's my biggest thing when people borrow my clothes. I always say, I don't care if you spill on it.

I don't care if it smells. Please do not wash it. I wash my clothes a certain way. And that's like one of my prerequisites for like borrowing my clothes because I'm like, you wash something. It's like, oh, sorry. I can earn it with one wash. Exactly.

Done. So just, yeah. No, I think this mom is a bit unhinged and is trying to sabotage the relationship in a big way. Big way. Well, yeah. I actually, it's funny. I ruined a lot of my clothes when I was traveling.

I texted you about this, but I had some bug bites. Oh my God. And I wasn't, I didn't have any evidence that there are bed bugs, but they didn't look like mosquito bites. I went down a rabbit hole and I, they were definitely bed bugs. Yeah. That's what I was thinking. They were bed bugs.

I saw the bites. Yeah. But I, but the thing is, is that my point is I think they were from a hotel that I was in and then whenever I was at the next place, they were, they didn't follow because there was absolutely no evidence of them at all anywhere. And I really, really like went like down. Yeah. But it's funny because I'm so specific about how I wash my clothes, but because I did,

I thought they might be bed bugs and I was terrified of bringing them with me anywhere. Oh my gosh. If, if, if they did travel, um, I washed everything and ruined like 50% of my clothes. Cause we couldn't even, the thing is like, you can't even, one, you're supposed to dry them on heat and then two, there, there's no washer and dryers in unit where I was traveling. So you have to go to a service and there's no English. And I unfortunately am not very good at Spanish. So we're going to give you the Babel code.

You can practice with me. Oh, I've been work. Evan, I downloaded a Duolingo. No, no, no, no, no, we're Babel people here. Got it. I haven't, I have an extra code. Well me and you, cause then we can practice off each other cause I can't keep practicing with all.

Okay. She's like, I'm fluent bitch. Yeah. Like this isn't fun for me. Yeah. This is good. This is good. But regardless, I, yeah, I went to the laundromat and I ruined half my clothes because I thought

that I had bed bug bites. Um, that, that hurts. Thankfully, though, the good thing is that there was no after, after that, there's zero evidence. There was no more bites. There was nothing. And so that was the goal. That was worth it.

Yeah. But washing your clothes can definitely ruin them. Yup. So anyway, and thank you for listening. Thank you for coming to my TED talk. Yeah. I'm going to hang dry everything. Like literally everything.

So if I got bed bugs in my clothes, I'd be booked up, but that's like with headlights. Like we didn't, like there's some stuff I didn't dry. Like with headlights, I just like, this wasn't recent either guys. Like, but if you get headlights out of the doll, it's okay. Like it happens. I thought I had it and I freaked out and then I went over to Morgan's and she said I didn't. It was just dangerous. So yeah.

Like the dandruff dances on your hair when you move it. And it looks like it's a fucking bug. You had a meltdown that day. I know. That's why I thought the bed bugs wasn't actually bed bugs, but I was like, I'm still going to go down this rabbit hole and maybe dandruff, maybe just a razor burn. But yeah, like with headlights, I just put everything in a bag and like some of the stuffed animals I don't think I ever saw again.

That's really heartbreaking. Yeah. But like you just let it go in a bag. I put blue Bob in a freezer for like the entire week. You didn't wash it? No. Cause I was, I wasn't going to risk ruining blue Bob. I think it does need a bath though.

He does, but I'm going to get him dry cleaned. Why don't you send it? There's a woman on TikTok that restores people's favorite stuffed animals. Well, he doesn't need to be restored. He just needs to be cleaned. Okay. Well, we'll evaluate. Don't touch blue Bob sends blue Bob away.

Well, I'm not looking like full circle with a story. I wouldn't do that because I have a little lamb named Lambert from when I was a baby and he's, he's precious. I wouldn't do that. I'm glad because I actually have this great grandmother from Peru who put a curse on anyone that would steal blue Bob and send him to a laundromat. Oh my God. Look at you.

Look at you. Yeah. Definitely not touching that bitch now. Yeah. Well, that's all we have for malicious compliance or revenge, malicious compliance slash revenge. I don't know, but I don't know what to think of this anymore. I think I'm kind of, I'm tussling with it in my brain. Yeah.

I think most of the stories that we came across were pretty good. All of the ones we talked about today, I feel like they were okay. Okay. So with that being said, With that being said, Merch is out. I know they're restocking things. We've been drinking out of the tumblers today.

I love them. My tequila lavender soda water drink. At the end of the day, just get a tumbler. That's pretty good. Yeah. Also, my dad loves these cups. He makes his like berries and cream whipped thing in them. And he just like has his little whisk and he does it for like portion control.

Love that. He's obsessed. He's like very, very obsessed. He has not made me one of those in years. I know. We got to do that tonight. That's actually a good idea. But other than that, let us know what you guys think of malicious compliance.

And until next time. Until next time. Bye guys. Bye. Bye. Bye. When everyone else relies on you, it's easy to put your needs last. Therapy is a dedicated time to focus on what you need to be happy.

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