Two Hot Takes - 60: Emotional Damage.. Ft. Tefi

Episode Date: April 7, 2022

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Tefi. My favorite TikTok celebrity guru graces us with her takes and relationship advice this episode! Has the "emotional damage" song been on repeat in your head? No.. just me? Well these stories may cause some emotional damage for you all because they're out there.. Merch: https://fanjoy.co/collections/twohottakes Partners: Bloom Nutrition: Bloom.com/2HT Cerebral: Cerebral.com/THT Patreon!!  https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes

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Hi friends, welcome to today's episode, Emotional Damage. I was so excited for Taffy to be here that I explained her the theme as soon as I saw her. I was just so pumped for it and forgot to introduce it on the episode and forgot to introduce us even until the very end. So things are a little patched in. So you'll be hearing the song quicker than usual, but theme today is Emotional Damage. Just crazy Reddit stories that most of which came from you guys sending me and are crazy.

Like if you think of the song on TikTok, Emotional Damage, Emotional Damage. That is literally these stories. Also just an FYI to everyone that wants to send me links for Reddit stories going forward. I would love for you guys to post them on the THT subreddit. It's a little easier for me to find and sort through. But that's it. Enjoy the episode. Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes.

I'm your host Morgan and today I'm joined by the lovely, amazing Taffy. Oh my God. Hi. If you're watching this, no, it's not Angelina and Julie. It's me. It's Taffy. Why are you laughing? I'm an awkward laugher.

I love it. I love it. Let's start. Let's go. Yeah, I definitely know you're on board for the Jewishness because I just watched one of your TikToks about you giving relationship advice and you were like, sweetie, don't sweat it. You're not there.

That will spin you around. Like a dreidel. Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel. I made you out of clay and when you're dry and ready, then dreidel, I will play. Exactly. My first school, nursery school ever was next door to my mom's where she worked and it was Beth David. Okay.

And my mom was like, everybody here's chill. She loves Jesus. We can talk to her about Jesus at a later date, but right now we love Ms. Fanny. That was her name. I love Ms. Fanny. And my mom said that she had to take me out because every Saturday I'd wake her up and be like, Shabbat today, mommy. Oh.

And she was like, no dude, we love Jesus and I'm like, so do we, but he's not that big of a deal. And she's like, okay, we got to get her out of there. Yeah, you can be, we're kind of a mix of both here. My mom likes the, likes the best of both worlds. Yeah. So we get lots of presents come holiday season. When people talk about Jewish guilt, I'm like, oh, it's kind of like Latin Roman Catholic

guilt. You know, together. Yeah. We're like this. Yeah. We go way back. I know. You are kind of one your celebrity expert on Tik Tok.

You are. You give these little scandal breakdowns and I'm like, I watched the Tiger Wood one recently. That's my favorite one. I was thinking about it today in the shower. I was like, if you had to pick one series that you did, which one would it be? And it would be Tiger Woods. Yeah. And so I saw that one.

I was like, I think you said 140 different women. 126. Damn. 126 different women. Okay, you. No condom. He told each and every one that they were the only one that was okay. They didn't have to wrap it up.

What the fuck? That's dude. Tiger. That alone. Straight. Crazy. Straight to Jill. That's a felony.

It's a Petri dish. It's. Yes. Absolutely. Too much. And then going home to his poor little wife. Yeah. Yeah.

But you know. I mean, true. That's what I was going to. I'm like, no one deserves to get hit, but he definitely deserved to get scared and scared he was to play possum like that. I would do the same thing. Whenever I'd be in trouble, like I'd hear my mom pick up the phone and it'd be like Mr. Trujillo, like my Earthspace science.

Yeah. It was actually Mr. Garcia. Mr. Garcia in a GW Carver. He'd call and he'd be like, she's failing. And she'd be like, I find that so interesting. Mr. Garcia. And I'd go to my bed. It'd be like 5pm.

I'm like, oh, I guess. Just knock the fuck out. So I get it. Tiger. I need to try that more for conflict resolution. Just possum. How old are you? 27.

I'm 28. Oh, okay. I forget all the time. Well, maybe it worked. I forget all the time. Someone asked me how old I was once and I was like 24. And I was like, wait, no, no, no, I'm 27. My mom and I talk about this all the time.

There's a soul age. Like my mom says she's a exhausted 35. Okay. I'm, I feel like I'm 22. I could see that for you. I'm like, what do you mean I have to pay for my own health insurance? That was the saddest day of my life. Yo, I look at people and people who are like 24, 25 and they talk to me like they know

everything. I'm like, okay, fine. How do you sign up for health insurance? And when you have it, how do you find your dental insurance? They're separate. Why are they separate? You're taken in your fucking head. I can't find it.

That's why I won't go to the dentist. Oh, yeah. I know. We got to go. I got a really good guy. We should just two birds one stone. He's a good guy. Yeah.

His name's Matt. You can't find a good dentist. A lot of them are. I got scammed once. This bitch told me I needed four crowns. I only needed one. Just one. Wait.

And you got four crowns. You got four crowns in. No, I only did one because I went to Dr. Matt. You got a second opinion. And Matt was like, that dude is. Dr. Matt first name. Okay. He's a cutie.

Okay. He's cute. Yeah, you'll like him. All right. Yeah, you'll like him. Yeah, he's good. He's good. I love it.

So between your celebrity expertise, which we're going to talk about celebrity beef a little at the end, but you also give really good relationship advice. Yeah, I've been through the mud. So yeah, I think, um, I think for relationship advice, I like to think about it as like 15 year old me. I didn't, I didn't have anybody to really talk about it with, I guess, like my mom, my mom's not a regular mom. She's a cool mom, but she's still my mom.

You know what I mean? Like we have more of a friendship now, but at the time she's very much like, I'm your fucking mom. Oh yeah. And I didn't want, and I had a like a lot going on too. Like I changed schools at 15. So every time I think about like relationship advice, I think of like that stage in my life and like what I needed to hear, you know, so I, I'm trying to do that for people who

are younger than me. Cause I feel like there are, there are a lot of lessons that I've learned through relationships, but I really didn't need to learn them. No. Like I would have been the same bitch. It was way harder than it needed to be. Absolutely. And I made it harder.

And my mom has a saying all the time, like when the universe wants to teach you a lesson, the second time you have to learn that lesson, it's harder. The third time it's even harder at the fourth time. So it's like, you got to, you got to say uncle, you know what I mean? And I think for women, especially it's like you are measured and weighed according to your generosity and your loyalty. And for men, it's like completely your productivity, your leadership skills, like all of that. But for women, it's like this idea of like ride or die.

Why are we dying in this scenario? I can ride with you, but I'm very much somebody's going to say, he's right there, your honor. That's me. I'm not sticking by you. Absolutely not. You know what I mean? So I want to tell women like you're not a bad partner for, for choosing like peace in your life.

Yeah. Your own sanity, your own health, mental health. One of my friends, dad's told me, listen, you are, cause I was having problems in a relationship. And he was like, and I was like, I want advice from you. No, no, no, no, no. He's like, I'm going to stop you right there. You are both healthy.

You don't have any real financial issues. Your families are healthy. You don't have kids. This should be the easiest time in your life. In fact, like the fight should be about like how you miss each other. You can't see each other schedules, coordinating things, but this should be like the easiest time. And that for me was such a thing where I'm like, why am I acting like I've been with

somebody for 50 years off the rip, like off rip? Yeah. You know what I mean? Like why am I like hopelessly devoted to you? Grace, anybody? Losers. Sandy, yeah. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. I think that's our brains though, just messing us up. And like we get, our brain's a muscle. We get stuck on these toxic loops and our brains like just to create these hormones that make us feel like we need those toxic loops. Well, your brain is constantly trying to figure out how to make you happy all the time, like patterns, right?

It's trying to figure out patterns to keep you happy. And, um, and like for example, like, um, social media, like social media, your brain knows that, that makes you happy when seeing likes and stuff. So your brain's like, okay, let's keep her on this, you know? So with relationships, that cycle of like that high of like when you think someone's going to break up with you or it's so toxic and oh my God, I really want to be this person. And then, you know, like it works out that high, your brain records it. Your brain doesn't know.

That's why I say too, like to talk about your body or like to talk about, um, what you think about yourself, like self-deprecating humor, sometimes like your brain doesn't know when you're joking. So sometimes it'll be like, fuck, I'm so fucking stupid. And then immediately I'm like, I'm just kidding. I know that I'm smart because you got to talk to the little men in black alien in your brain, you know, when they open the door and he's like, like that. That's my picture.

Oh my God. As long as it doesn't involve that little pug. Frank? I don't like the pug. Frank the pug? Pugs scare me. Hey, sweet. I love Frank.

Pugs scare the shit out of me. Really? They just, they, that's, they were bred to be scary. Yeah. I saw, I saw like a picture of their skulls once and it was, it was over after that. Yeah. It's like someone, someone went, it's bad, bad, bad, bad news bears. Well, based on this, I think you're going to give these people great decisions on if

they're the asshole or not. Oh, this is my favorite corner. I have another favorite corner, right? It too. What is it? I'm not proud of it. Dead bedrooms. What the fuck is that?

No. People that haven't had sex for a while and they're like talking about how to like seduce their partner again. Go into my email, sign up for the Reddit notifications. I have two. I have one that's about the glitches in the matrix. Oh, that. Dude.

That. I'm waiting. I'm waiting for the moment I can submit, but that's crazy. When people, dude, I'm holding in a burp so bad. Just let them out and that we'll cut, we'll cut them. Don't cut them. Okay. Why'd you burp?

Okay. So, sorry bro. So the glitches in the matrix, so this one guy, it's a video, it's a frickin' video and this bird, he's recording like this, like it's like an Uber driver, you know how they record the backseat and the front in case of like accidents. It's recording and you see the bird poop on the windshield and then he's like, what the fuck? And he touches it and it smears in the inside.

That's a glitch. What? And another guy that was like, I know my coworker quit and it wasn't a dream and I woke up the next day and it was the same day, but she stayed and it's like split up. And then the other side is, I don't know why they're so mean to her. I get kind of an idea, but Jesse James Decker, that side of Reddit, you see it? I heard she's a pale of a person. People say she is a real see you next Tuesday.

And sometimes, but I read it and people go the fuck. They hate her. They hate her. I'm from Minnesota, so her husband played Eric Decker football at the University of Minnesota. And so I had a friend that was friends with his family and his family hates her. They all hate her. They went to Minnesota recently and did not see Eric's family.

No, they hate her. So I'm in that. I'm reading it. A lot of it is crazy though. A lot of it is so sexist, like it's a selfie and it's like, God, who takes as many selfies of themselves and I'm like this or like her boobs look rock hard. I'm like, leave her boobs alone. Everyone wishes they had rock hard boobs.

That's what I'm trying to get. She has three kids, four kids. She has a bunch of kids. That's impressive. I think she did breastfeed. So that's impressive. Let her have hard boobies. What's in your business?

That's a flex. It's one thing to talk about how somebody's bringing up a family and how her singing. Like a lot. It's a lot. I need to subscribe to this subreddit. But are you the assholes like my favorite thing in the world? OK, I'm ready. Put take me to the place.

My eyes are closed. Let's go. Let's dive in. OK, I'm diving up first. Any hour services has a team of technicians that can take care of any plumbing, electrical or air conditioning needs you might have around your house. Got a drain that's clogged? Call any hour services.

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Mention this ad and take 50 bucks off your next visit. Call any hour services or schedule online at anyourservices.com. No one helps more homeowners than any hour services. Am I the asshole for eating at the same restaurant as my husband's family? I, 32 female, have been married to my husband 35 male for three years. We dated for two years before that. I want to start this off by saying that he is a really good guy in other areas. My husband's parents hit two.

His two brothers, ages 38 and 40 ish and his brother's girlfriends have a tradition of going out to dinner once a month. I am invited about 50% of the time. I've talked to my husband's brother's girlfriends and she says she is invited every time. When I say I'm not invited, I mean that my husband tells me, quote, I'm going to the family dinner. It's probably best if you sit this one out. When I expressed that I wanted to come, he told me that it would be best if I didn't.

It has caused several fights. About a week ago, my husband went to a family dinner that I wasn't invited to. I was very pissed. So earlier that day, I called and made a reservation at the same restaurant they were going to. I got to say, I got to say. Genius. I mean, Gabby and I would be in there in a minute, Shannon's outside, honking the horn.

Beep, beep, I'm parking. I've done something like this. Absolutely. My husband left the house not knowing about my reservations and I left 15 minutes after him. I ended up seated at a table where I couldn't see his family. So I got up at as if I was going to the bathroom and walked right past them. They were all there, including his brother's significant others. My husband looked completely shocked and asked me what I was doing there.

I told him that I'd just been dying for a steak. So I came and got one at the restaurant. My mother-in-law said it was very rude of me to interrupt their family dinner. I pointed out that I wasn't trying to join them. I was just going to the bathroom. I told them to have a good meal and I left. I went and finished my steak by myself. My husband was really pissed when he came home.

Oh, he was. He told me that he couldn't believe how much of an asshole I had been. Oh, my goodness. I said that he was an asshole for not inviting me to his dinners when his brother's significant others got to go. My husband said that the decision to invite was between him and his family. And I should respect it. Is he going to be OK?

Anyways, with the way the word asshole was thrown around, it made me think of this sub. So I wanted to ask if I am the asshole. So first of all, I'm going to say one thing, the name calling. Your husband is calling you an asshole a little too freely for my fucking taste. Second of all, very nonchalant. You married her. This is this is not your family when it's convenient to you.

You married her. OK. So he needs to look at his family and be like, if I don't if my wife doesn't come, I'm not going to come. How is he so comfortable sitting in a restaurant talking to his brother's girlfriend than the woman he sleeps next to at night? I'm going to tell you something else. My grandfather used to say, if you really want to get to know a man, you see how he treats the person they sleep next to every night.

So how come he's treating her like a business partner and a co-worker and a roommate? But when it's time to have family time, you don't want your family to know your wife. How long do you want to be married to me? Is there like a time limit? Do you do you clock in and clock out? Absolutely fucking not. Yeah, he's got a punch card, it seems. Absolutely. When are we going to dinner, babe? And I would look at the mom and be like, I know this is your son,

but this is not your boyfriend. And I'm sorry. That's on enmeshment. A lot of women, especially in my community, are raising men to be their perfect boyfriends because something is missing in their lives. Then you should have sat up and be like, I object. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. We eat dinner together. And when you have family, if it's a fan, the girlfriends are there.

Are you out of your fucking mind? Why are they more family than the wife? Because they like them. Exactly. Because they like it. I mean, OK, babe, the family doesn't like you. That's their fucking problem. You're not going anywhere. If you don't want me to go to dinner, either. Or like or divorce me, divorce me.

That's where I'm at. Like, what's the fucking point? We're going. I'm getting in the car. What's the point? Or next time, every time I go to dinner and you don't invite me, I'm getting a steak closer and closer to the table, closer and closer to the table. I would have asked to be seated right across from them. So the mom just has to stare at you the whole time. It's like, but I look at it to I'm like,

I want her to ask her mom, because my mom. My mom would not stand for this. My mom would be sitting there with me. My mom would would swim from Miami to New York with a knife in her mouth like this. Are you kidding me? Lordcraft style. You're going to leave me out. Yeah, I'm sorry. No, no, no, no, no.

You married me. I'm your fucking family. These little girlfriends, they might break up next week. We had we have we have a contractual obligation to one another. We're eating dinner together. It's weird. I get maybe you don't want to go. So every once in a while, it's fine. But it's like 50 percent of the time and it's not up to her. It's like, you better sit this one out, sweetie.

It's like, no, I mean, I can understand, too. Maybe she did that for she did that for the drama. Yeah. I mean, but it gets to the point to like you ask and you ask and you ask. And I'm going to tell you, I would think, is he taking some other bits of dinner? That that was my first thought. I was thinking like there's going to be a side check at the table.

You have to find out like and then I would ask the family, I'd stand up. I'd get my little fork in my glass. Why don't you people fucking like me? I'm very nice. Yeah. I'm very nice. And if you didn't like me, why'd you let me marry him? Why do you guys come over for holidays? Why do you spend holidays together but family dinner?

Bullshit. Bullshit. You are not the asshole. Your family is a bunch of assholes. How old is she? Thirty two? She is thirty two. Yeah. No, it's over. Bye. Absolutely fucking not.

No, you don't want to feel like an outsider your whole life. So top comment. What the fuck? Your husband and his family are assholes. Yeah. Next one. Literally the only words I could think of. What the fuck? Not the asshole at all. The next comment is where things get spicy. Things get a little dicey.

So they go, not the asshole, OP, but your in-laws and husband are racist. OP stated in this comment that she is mixed race. And then when she asked her husband why his family does not like her, he is cagey and never gives a real response. The other significant others are all white like the in-laws, which is why they get invited every time. The only difference between any of them, including religion, is that OP is mixed race.

The fact that her husband is OK with this and then gets angry at OP for asking about it says he too is racist and fine with racist excluding his wife. Absolutely. Where did I that was like a total 180. Did not see that come in. How are you going to go to dinner with your family knowing your wife is home eating alone?

Despicable. Despicable. I love to wonder what's wrong with me. That's what's cruel. The people talk about communication. Yes, it's so healthy. But to not do that is cruel. You made this woman think about what is wrong with her.

Why wouldn't they like me? Yeah. And it's something completely out of her control and you married her. That's the thing here. Why marry her? If you knew there was going to be this conflict, your entire marriage. And if you knew you weren't willing to stand up for her, why marry her?

Why put someone through this? When you marry. How do we find out who the fuck this is? I'm driving. What's his address? What literally dropped the pin? I'm taking her out. We're finding her a new man.

You know what, John, you can hook up with this girl. She needs a little boost. Literally, absolutely not. Absolutely not. So bad. She needs it. She. Yeah. I mean, you know what?

I want to see what he looks like. I want to see what he looks like. You already know. Yeah. No, there's no update. OP comments a lot. She's half black. They are all white.

They don't openly act racist towards me. Oh, OK. Hold on. But I'm sure there's, I can't imagine there's another reason. Where the fuck are they going to eat? She seems so nice. She should go with her friends. Oh, yeah.

You know what? Get the gang together. Girl, come to Miami. Take her out. Girl, come to Miami. I'm inviting myself. Yeah. Absolutely.

Let's together. You and I make this man cry. Yeah. Loser. Let's do it. Asshole. Asshole. Moving along.

Divorce. Oh, OK. Yeah. I think we got to jump straight to it. Let's go. Give him the D. Yeah. Get the fuck out of here.

Yeah. Absolute take him for all he's worth and then buy the restaurant that they have dinner at. It's probably fucking all of it in. What? It's what I'm telling you. For Texas Roadhouse. I can.

Whoa, when you're there, your family. I can see him saying it. Bob is so fucking dumb. I never liked him. Dumbass. You know it. Oh, apparently fucking not. Not me, bitch.

I'm hot. I'm hot. The next one might might increase it. It might increase it. I might have to do a trigger warning on this one because I triggered my gag reflex earlier. Uh-huh. I'm sorry.

Go, go, go, go, go. Close my eyes. I'm closing my eyes. I'm there. Am I the asshole for telling my boyfriend not to spit in our food? OK. All right. OK.

We're currently not speaking because of this issue. Since I find it gross and my boyfriend can't see my problem with it, I do most of the cooking in our relationship, which I'm fine with. However, occasionally my boyfriend will want to do some cooking together slash do some baking. Nice. We do a lot of activities together, especially now. We're both home a lot more.

The one thing I cannot stand is a habit he has when it comes to food. If my boyfriend thinks something is too dry or needs a better consistency, he will use his own spit and put it in the food. For example, the other day we were icing homemade cookies and I caught him, quote, thinning out the icing mixture by spitting inside the bowl and mixing it in. Free me.

This has been an issue for some time, so he tries to hide it whenever he does it from me. But every time I catch him. He tries to hide it so he knows it's wrong. OK, keep going. Every time I catch him and I just find it gross, his reply is to shrug and tell me that I get more of his saliva in my mouth when we kiss anyways.

So it shouldn't be a big deal and makes literally no difference. I've pleaded with him to use water, but he says the texture isn't the same and has pointed out that, quote, if I can't tell the texture is different, surely it doesn't matter that it's not water anyways. I know that in a way he's right and it's not like I complain about his spit when we make out,

but something about it being mixed in with food just grosses me out. Am I the asshole for not wanting my boyfriend to spit in our food when we cook together? Are you in your body when you type this? Are you in your body? How gaslit has she been? Like to believe that the spit like she's she's almost borderline. Like the fact that he hides it, the fact that he hides it. And it's it's not it's the same when I when I kiss you.

No, the fuck it's not. No, the fuck it's not. That's absolutely not true. With the same amount of saliva. Are you joking? Have you seen the Titanic? That's what he's doing to your food. He's doing that to your food.

It's different. Honestly, I would. You know what I would do? What I would do if I were if I was in her position. Spit on it on this episode of snapped one thousand percent. One thousand percent. Imagine I call my manager and I say, hey, my boyfriend's doing something weird.

She would be like, stay right where you are. I'm coming. And so are the authorities. Yeah, out of here. You're spitting in my food. You're spitting in my food. This is so weird for the consistency. You're not a baby bird. Get out of here.

The baby bird argument is valid. The baby bird. Go by yourself and compote. How do you say like a freaking Gerber? Like go. Must you go see a sip? Not even a sippy cup. What is it?

What's it called? Baby, baby food, like what's the baby food or whatever? I sound like Alaria Cucumber. No, partner fake accent. For real. And when I was living in Spain, OK, with my business, no, a truly, I'm like, maybe it's I think it's a kink of his.

I could see that. It's not about consistency, babe. It's about it's a kink. He likes watching you eat his spit. Yeah. And you know what's coming up next. Oh, I wonder if it's like a dominating thing. Absolutely. This is psychology, but also two things.

One, how did that kink come to be? And two, kinks are hereditary. Are they really? Yeah, it ruined my fucking day. Oh, yeah. But you what you're saying? In the book, no, what? They're hereditary.

Oh, my God, I just had a story last week about a guy that has a urination kink. Well, and he likes to pee in public. Well, yeah, absolutely. Oh, I'm a scarred. I'm thinking about what my boyfriend's into. I'm thinking about what I'm into. And I call my mom, good morning, mummy.

Like, are you into this too? Absolutely. But I'm thinking, it's because he likes watching her. I'm going to be honest. Yeah, I would not be surprised if he's spitting in her face cream, her face wash, her shampoo. He loves the idea that she's covered in it. I would have to get all my stuff DNA tested.

I would have to know. Thousand percent. And I'm going to tell you something. And then this is about cheating too, but I use it with everything. The first time you keep burping. Me? You keep burping to me.

Oh, I'm like, what? I am. I didn't notice. It's how I am. I'm a gassed person sometimes. Yo, you keep burping. I'm like, what? I'm going to the first time you catch I'm doing it is not the first time that they've done it.

You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. How many times before when you did it? I promise you, if she were to ask any ex or his mom, he's been spitting in people's food for a long time. I think this gets worse for me, too. If I find out the way he's been spitting is what I'm envisioning. I'm yeah, it's the gummy stuff.

Yeah, I'm envisioning the like and you hawk it from the back of your throat. And I just recently, not recently, like a year ago. I know. Do you know what tonsil stones are? Yeah. So I just found I know what they are because my brother has to be good at every fucking throw up.

He may be. No, he may be. Do we need to get a new bucket? Can you a bowl? I mean, he made me smell it. Oh, OK, we'll move on. But I know I'm envisioning it's coming from the throat and you might get one of those in your baking mix.

Oh, God. OK, yeah. That it's something with like bugs and like body fluid. Like I can't take blood either. Like anything like that. I can't take the the thought, the thought I would I would be in jail. Yeah, I would be in jail. Thank God I had drew on a couple of months ago. That's my baby.

And I gave her a story about a guy who was putting slugs in his girlfriend's food. What the fuck is wrong with these people? We are failing them as a society. And you know what? I'm going to say something. Bullying sometimes works. If you see a kid fucking eating slugs,

you got to call him a fucking loser because he might put in his girlfriend's food one day. Like, oh, well, let's just leave him be. Absolutely not. Do not let Bob be. And what happens? I mean, I'm using all these assholes called Bob. No, he literally could have killed her.

She had like she developed a heart condition. What the actual fuck? We got to bully people more. We got between this and with the kink one I had recently, people are like, sometimes it's OK to kink shame. Like we need sometimes it's OK. Absolutely. But also with the slugs and stuff,

I need her to look up his browser history. Oh, yeah, what porn is he watching? That is gross. I'm curious what there is for spit content now. Spit content. I was just kidding. Don't. I was going to say. Oh, yeah, I was just kidding.

Ask like Tepi. Actually, this is my story. And I'm definitely. Yeah, so actually, this is Justin, my boyfriend. He's doing this J name. It makes sense. I mean, J name. Yeah, J name.

Those J names you're going to watch out. What can you do? What's his son? Justin is a Leo. So is he. But he's like a cusper. He's August 20th. So he's August 20th.

Oh, my God. What are you? I'm July 22nd. I'm a cancer, but I'm the last day of cancer. I'm a Leo moon. I'm a fucking Leo. I'm a mercury. You're Pisces.

Yeah, I'm a little fish. I'm a little fish. Emotional fish. Yeah, that's cute. Yeah, moon rising. I got some. I got some Scorpio somewhere in there, I think. I'll pull up my co-star.

It's going to be OK. Yeah, it's OK. It's OK. So top comment on this one. I go. I I mean, I don't think not the asshole is adequate to express absolute horror I'm feeling on your behalf right now.

I wish I could upload a selfie so you could see the degree of not the assholeness I feel written all over my face. Your boyfriend is disgusting. Yeah, body, body fluid. I'm going to tell you like peeing and stuff. I'm just I don't understand the idea of wanting somebody slimed by you.

You know what I mean? Pete, the other stuff. Spit that the corners of the Internet are disgusting. Yeah, you need something. I think some I think men in general need like parental controls run by women. You know what I mean? Like every year men have to take a test to see

whether or not they are able to connect to Wi-Fi. You should not be able. Every man should not have Wi-Fi. We should cut them off. And once they pass that test, we have to monitor their parental controls. Yeah, I think there's especially, I mean, the guy podcast that you see on the Internet.

Oh, dude, there needs to be an IQ test to own a bike. Like truly. And women, some I feel like men see women as two people. Either I want to fuck you or I don't. And if I don't want to fuck you, you don't matter. And you're annoying and you're taking up space for the women that I do want to fuck. But if I want to fuck them,

they don't want to fuck me on the other side. But if I want children with you, if I want children's, if I want kids with you and you're not exactly like my mommy. Who is mean to me? Mama's boys scare me. Dude, they scare me. Oh, my God, it's too much.

It is a lot. And I look at them and I'm just like, your son is spitting in people's food. Fuck off, my baby boy. Yeah, I wonder. I wonder what the fuck he saw growing up that he sees that as like. OK, acceptable behavior.

And like almost like love, like he's baking. I don't know where his brain is. It's definitely in the gutter, but my first thought would never, ever be like water. Consistency. I was going to say they ran out of fricking olive oil. Spit doesn't have a great consistency. It's like egg white.

It's sticky and weird and gross. And why would you use spit when we have egg white, babe? That you should use in baking and cooking. Oh, my God. It's in the recipe. But also I think about her and I'm like, why are you? Why are you still with him? And then like, I promise you, it can get it gets better.

I don't think some people realize that. I really don't get the fuck out. Go build something. Oh, my God. What's up, everybody? I'm Mike Wilson with Any Hour Services. And if you've been thinking about replacing your old water heater, Any Hour Services is here to help and save you some money. Whether you're looking for a new tanked water heater

or you want to see what upgrading to a tank list would cost, the plumbers at Any Hour Services can show you what options are available. And right now you can save four hundred dollars on a tanked water heater or twelve hundred dollars on a tank list. Call Any Hour Services and schedule a free estimate today. Google Any Hour Services or schedule online at AnyHourServices.com. No one helps more homeowners than Any Hour Services. This next one might it's a little more tame.

OK, hit me. It's a little more tame. It's more of the traditional drama. OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK. Who is she? Go. Best friend of 12 years chose her boyfriend over me. And now she is begging for forgiveness. Oh, wow. My ex-best friend, 21 female and I, 22 female,

have known each other for 12 years. We were literally each other's ride and dies. We were there for every important moment in each other's lives. I consider her a sister that I never had. In January, 2021, my best friend got into a relationship with a guy. She seemed happy and she told me that he was the best guy she'd ever been with. When I met him to surprise, she said, 21. I was like, surprise, I haven't been with a lot.

You don't know yet. When I met him, he was cool and he seemed nice. Fast forward to May, 2021, one night I was out with some other friends and we went to the spot that we would usually hang out at. My best friend wasn't with us because she was working that night. I ended up running into her boyfriend and his friends, my friend group and his friend group ended up chilling together and everything was cool. I had only one drink that night because I had to get up early the next morning.

However, everyone else had a couple of drinks in them. I ended up leaving early and told them that the Uber I had ordered was on its way. My best friend's boyfriend offered to walk with me because he also had to go out to smoke. We ended up outside and I proceeded to also have a quick smoke before my ride arrives. We started talking about trivial stuff and then about my best friend. I told him that it sucked that she wasn't able to come out tonight. At first, he agreed with me, but then he said, quote, yeah, but if she was here, we wouldn't be talking right now, which rubbed me the wrong way.

Oh, not not shit talking, your girlfriend. I was I was looking at my phone to see where the Uber was and pretended that I didn't hear what he said. He repeated what he said and went on to add that if he wasn't with my friend, he'd be pursuing me. I ended up snapping at him and told him that what he was doing was fucked up. My Uber was pulling up, so I told him to get lost and got inside the car. I ended up texting my friend on my way home and told her that I needed to speak

to her urgently and that she should call me when she gets off in the morning. I didn't tell her what it was about because I felt like this type of information needs to be told face to face or at least be heard. She's very mature. I would have been like, check your snapshot. I recorded the whole shit. You have to these days. When the next morning came, she had not called me, but she had seen the text message because the red receipts were on.

I called her and the minute that she picked up, I could tell she was pissed. I asked her how she was doing and she was being very short with me. Oh, was she? After a few sounds like PR to me. Sounds like somebody did PR before you. Damage control. A little spin. OK. After a few awkward moments, I told her that I needed to tell her

about something that happened the night before. And she said, quote, I know this is why you don't wait. Got to just Twitter fingers. Just literally, you know what? Most of my friends, too. I'm going to you know what? Continue and then I'll and then my piece turns out that her boyfriend had texted her the night before that I had tried to flirt with him.

According to him, I was trying to take advantage of him being drunk to flirt with him while we were smoking and that he rejected my advances. To make it worse, he picked her up that morning from her job and fed her more lies about that night. She ended up cussing me out. And to be honest, I started cussing her out, too. I told her that she was an idiot for believing any of that. That's not cussing out.

But it's like she wouldn't hear it. Our friendship ended that day and we did not speak from May 2021 to today, March 2022. She called me from a new number. I blocked her and basically said that she was sorry for believing those things that he cheated and that now she realized how much of a liar he is. She said, I didn't excuse what she did. But she believed him because she loved him and thought he was the one. She was crying during the call and I could feel her emotions.

I'm so conflicted. This is my ex best friend of 12 years, the person that I practically grew up with. Normally, I'd never take someone back, but there's been a lot of history between us and I feel so conflicted. I still love her to this day. Should I try to salvage this friendship and give her another chance? Yeah. What the fuck? You're 21, 22.

She's your best friend since you were what, in seventh, sixth grade. There is a key detail here, though. Go. So she adds an edit and she said, I suspect she caused issues in my other friendships, though. We shared friends in common. And when all of this happened, they distanced themselves from me and our friendships turned into acquaintances.

This all happened after we stopped being friends. And I never told any of them what had happened and never asked out of shame. This is a big reason why I'm struggling to make this decision because she had them all ice me out. You don't have to be best friends with her again. No. You know what I mean? Like, you can be on good terms, but like, I'm sorry. When you're in your early 20s and you're caught up,

we all lose contact with our fucking friends. We all go ghosts. We all become obsessed with this idea of like being young and getting married and having to hold on. And like that, that like, like it's like a fever. Like you feel like you're in a fever dream with somebody. We all do that shit. And I'm there's something that I wish I could tell younger me

is you're really going to let a get a dude get in between you and a friend. Even if she wasn't even if she wasn't the perfect best friend, nobody fucking is. You guys don't have to be best friends again. But this girl basically gave up her whole life to make something work. And it blew up in her fucking face. Yeah. She's reaching out to you because meet her in the middle. She's telling you she knows she was wrong,

but you can't blame somebody for being young and obsessed with somebody. And second of all, she seems like she has a hard time making friends or like she's very possessive, you know what I mean? Especially with like the best friend situation and like icing out of the people. She seems very possessive. She's having a hard time. You know, her better than anybody. You can be there for her.

Doesn't mean you guys got to get like matching tattoos. Yeah. But 12 years is a lot to throw away and you're so young. Twenty two. Yeah. Listen, what I sincerely mean that you don't have to be best friends, but to block more love in your life is crazy to me. There are some people obviously who are very toxic. Yeah. You know what I mean?

And dudes do this. I'm sorry. Like if this young kids, young boys, boys do this a lot. And I feel like there's nothing more dangerous than a rejected man. If she would have said, yeah, me too. He would have never snitched on her. It was it was damage control. Yeah, absolutely.

He turned around and said, your friend hit on me. I've been in that situation too. We all learn our lesson. Your friend will probably not get fucked over like that ever again. If she learned her lesson. But yours, what, seniors in college or just graduated college? Yeah. Relax. And also to like have the sit down conversation.

This is a dude that she's with. I'm sure she's in love with him, whatever. But the conversation is only as serious as you make it. My friends, I'm sorry, would have called me and be like, yo, your dude's a whore, Mimi, let's go out. Let's go out tomorrow. I'll tell you all about it. He's trash, dude.

Like, relax, he's trash. Am I wrong? Do you guys would have called me and been like, OK, I just spoke to Bob. It's always Bob just spoke to Bob. He hit on me. He's a piece of shit. I'm sure he's calling you right now. I'll see you tomorrow. It's done. It's cut. You deserve better. This man's a psychopath.

That's what I don't get. Like, I'm like, I've had trash men that try to like flip this script. Like I dated a serial cheater, like the shit he would spin. He ended up getting a girl pregnant while he was with me. It was it was a baby on you. Yeah, it was nuts, nuts. And so, like, I just think it's crazy that, like, you've been friends with her for 12 years and you believe this guy that you've known for a couple months.

It's just it's sad. It's overall sad. Also to, like, try to cheat on me and you get rejected. That's embarrassing for you. That's why he did it. His ego is hurt. Exactly. How embarrassing. So you go out for a smoke. OK, pony boy, get the fuck over yourself. There's an update.

Oh, hit me. So I'll spark notes up for you. So she ended up apologizing, like, reached back out. They met up at a cafe and, like, had a long heart to heart conversation. This, she goes, she told me that she had suspicions when her ex wasn't who he said he was months prior to their breakup. She also said that she suspected he may have lied about me, but she wasn't sure. I asked her why she didn't say anything or reach out to me sooner if she had doubts.

And she said that once again, she wasn't sure because she didn't know what to believe. I guess they were, like, in the middle of a breakup, like, fight. And she goes, I asked her why she's sure now that he was lying. And apparently it's because he threw it in her face during the breakup. Apparently they had a big argument and he told her, quote, you're so fucking stupid. You let me convince you that your best friend was coming on to me. This guy's a little bit of an evil genius. That is fucking low. You're so fucking stupid.

You let me isolate you. He's a sociopath. He's a sociopath. You're so fucking dumb. Like, imagine I looked like I was I was on this podcast. I would never do this, by the way. Obviously, I'm talking about evil. And I'm like, I don't know. That was a good that wasn't a good episode. I wouldn't air it. And then later on, I look at him like, you're so dumb that you let me do you let me convince you. Those fucking terrible stories.

You pick. Yeah, you're so dumb. You let me convince you that something that is beloved is bad. Like your podcast. Imagine you look at me. You're like, he's fucking with her reality. He's fucking with her sense of reality is tilting her radar so off. He I'm it's a I feel bad because sometimes I tell people to stay soft. You know what I mean? Like, no, I say it all the time. Like, don't let people change the way you love that.

Love people. You know what I mean? Just like just because you're a bad friend to me, doesn't change the way I'm going to be a friend to people, right? For example. But there's also a part of me where, like, my most toxic trait is that I'm naive because I can't picture. I can't see a reason why anybody would want to hurt me. Yeah. You know what I mean? You believe in the best in people.

I rather believe the best. I rather see the benefit of the doubt than believe that people are not innately good, but but it but I'm 31, right? So I'm in a position where if you fuck me over, that's on you. Yeah. At 21, you're way too like soft for that. You're mad. You're still malleable. Yeah. You're so malleable. You got to protect yourself a little bit.

I know. So she goes on to say like they ended up talking a little bit more. She essentially did admit that she went to all the other friends and told them. And that's why they iced her out. Yo. She admitted it. So O.P. told her, you know what? She was mad. She was mad. I appreciate your apology. You need to go and tell them all because that's not right.

If you don't correct your error, I forgive you. But at this point in time, I'm not ready to be your friend again. Doesn't mean I'll change my mind, but I'm not ready. I would also say like you were so confident. I want to fuck your man. I already know he's ugly. Please. You were you were doing charity work as I was, sweetie. Baby. Come on. Baby. Come on.

Nobody wants to fuck your man. You know what I mean? That was a little narcissistic of her. He was yours. Yeah. He was all you're I said it to people. I'm like, I'm not trying to offend you, but you and I got different types. Like that's not even my friend. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like I know, I think I have to say it a lot to girls, too.

Like the paranoia that people have about like, oh, but like, if I can't leave my man alone with my friends, like, I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I do. I do episodes like with my boyfriend and my best friend, Lauren. Alejandra hasn't done it yet. And Lauren will just be like, haha. And she'll kind of like give him like a little shoulder tap and people go nuts. People go nuts in the YouTube comments.

They're like, is it just me or is Lauren flirting with Justin? No, it's friendship. Is Lauren getting a little too comfortable with Justin? And I'm like, that's fucking weird. I'm like, literally, I could sleep in the same bed with them. Like we've literally laid in bed together and all watched movies. Like five little monkeys. Yeah. Like I'm like, you guys are like it's production.

I'm just like, if I didn't trust him, I wouldn't be with him. And if you are in this spot with your relationship, where you can't trust your boyfriend or your significant other around other people, especially your best friends, what are you doing? I'm going to say I love and I've been burned back to a crisp. Oh, I've been fried. Like the little frogs on the sidewalk. Exactly. Poor mother fuckers.

They didn't even see it coming. They're so fucked up. But and I still when my like when I'm dating somebody and someone's like, I'm going to go hang out with your friends, I'm like, that's so sick. Because you want people to be you want your pod to be your pod. You know what I mean? And and I'm not paranoid about it at all. And when I see people that are paranoid, I'm like, I look at them

and I'm like, is this a mirror for you right now? Are you not to be trusted? And the reason I rather trust my friends is because I've invested years, years. Yeah, I'm keeping my friends. If I know for a fact for the I have a close knit, I call them. I don't call them best friends. I call them non-negotiables. They're family. Yeah.

And I have about 12, 12 of them that I'm not. They are non-negotiable to me. And I know for a fact that they would never fuck me over. They rather cut off their own tongue and pull out their fingernails and fuck me over no matter what. And it took like over a decade to find these people. It takes a lot to cultivate those kind of friendships. And if if the person that I'm with makes a move on them,

I'm happy to cut you off because they're non-negotiable. Those girls that I some out, they're not your non-negotiables because I would have gone. Yo, Shannon, what the fuck is going on? Did you try to fuck Micaela's man? No. All right, I believe you done. Shannon would never do that. Period. You know what I mean?

Like there's a there's a lack of like loyalty on this side. But I understand too, because this man is fucking with her perception of what's real and what's not. Well, clearly he's a sociopath. So I'm sure there's a lot of gaslighting and like he should be in sales. Young love. Yeah. I'm just saying. Go door to send him door to door on his bullshit. I think the line and it kind of speaks to your non-negotiables.

She says, we both ended up crying. And honestly, this felt worse than any breakup I've ever had. And I think that's like the saddest part about all this is like losing friends is the worst breakup in the world. It's terrible. The worst. Like I went through the most psychotic situation where I had to cut one of my best friends off. Like I flew to Dallas to visit her, took another friend with me and I was living in Minnesota, finishing up school.

And she wanted to become friends with my friend that I brought with so bad. We went out, I had a bad Molly trip. So I was like, I'm sending, I'm sending myself home. And to keep my friend from texting me, she took her phone and hid her phone in a man's suit pocket at the party they were at. So she couldn't find her phone. So she couldn't check on you.

So she couldn't check on me because she wanted to separate her from me so bad that she could be friends with her. She's jealous. She's jealous. She was a crazy social climber and my friend, her dad worked for like a NHL organization and she just wanted she wanted to marry some hockey dick. So she thought that was her in and like, I'm like, Lydia, I'm tripping balls. She was a bitch. I like, I tried to get into her apartment, like had the key

and she was like, the gate was broken. She's like, why the fuck are you calling me? I'm like, we're done. I tried next the next day. They stayed out partying at his house the whole next day. And I was like, hey, you don't have Wi-Fi. Oh, what? I have nothing to do here. Can I take your car across the street to Walmart and go buy myself a fucking book? No, you can't take my car.

And I'm like, is it? There are four. Have you seen that movie about the four primal feelings in and out, out, inside, out, inside, out? So those primal feelings, what are their joy, fear, sadness and anger? Those are like your four, your four primary colors. I know there's three, but there's four. And if you don't address one of them, they manifest into other shit.

Yeah. Being a control freak, you know, or jealous, jealous is fear and anger. Right. Rage, rage is not being mad. Rage is like sadness and anger. It's like all of them, all these things can manifest into something else. Yeah. And it makes me sad when I go through friend breakups, if I'm not at fault,

because, of course, I'm not a perfect person. I fucked up too. Yeah, sometimes I look at people and I'm like, I know I'm a good friend. And you're having such a hard time facing yourself in the way that you feel that you that now you get to miss out on a friend like me. Yeah. And I'm a good fucking friend. It was no loss to me. I literally had the best time the rest of my trip, got my own hotel,

pet some fucking giraffes. It was a good time. Like, why would you dig yourself into a hole where life would be easier without you when you know that I love you? I know. You know what I mean? Especially for friends, a friend break up. What's fucked up to me, though, is what we were saying about the girl in

beginning who was biracial and wasn't invited to dinner. What communication this girl was looking at herself in the mirror and she's like, I did everything right. I got I had one drink because I had to wake up early. I was responsible. I called the Uber. This guy hit on me. I did not respond.

I ignored his advances. He repeated it. I tried to tell her. I tried to tell her what is wrong with me. And then as women, we look at ourselves in the mirror. We think I'm not doing good enough. So now this girl and this relationship, they're both walking, walking on eggshells because one, one person is living in a space of like, I don't want to make her

mad again, fear. And the other one is living in people pleasing. It's not they, they should be friendly, but they need like years apart. Yeah, I would agree. I think a few years, see them, see each other when you're 25, 26, and it happens like that, babes, they'll come back together. I know. And like they've been friends 12 years.

It's fucked up. They didn't talk for over a year, a year, which is really fucking crazy to me. But I didn't talk to one of my best friends for 10 months. I called the winter of our friendship because it's a season and you see each other and you're like, yo, I love you, but it's important to like, it's about lessons, right? If you ever do this to me ever again, basically I was going through a breakup and she's like, I don't want to be around sad people.

And she hadn't, she hadn't been through a breakup yet. I understand. We're past that now. You know what I mean? But there's a point now where it's like, I would never do it to you. No. So you need, I need to know if I have to meet you here because I won't. You got to meet me here.

I'm not saying I'm up here, but you got to meet me here. Yeah. And I think, like you said, it's like, you don't have to be best friends, like determine how much you want to invest in this friendship and hold her at arm's length going forward. Maybe if that's, but like, I'm kind of in the boat. Sometimes people do need to be cut out. Yeah.

And that's on that. But I think life is also too short and you've been friends forever. And I'm going to say, people talk about like, oh, he's, she's dating such a manipulator. She's dating, um, he's such a scammer, con artist, lie or whatever. Nobody falls for a manipulator. That's not charming, can work a room, you know, um, great conversationalist. Um, what's it called when you have a charismatic, confident?

Of course she is. Because if somebody manipulative like that and smart like that chooses you, what does that make you? You must be smart and funny too. So like you can't be that mad at her. No, she's, she's a little fricking girl. She's a young, she's a little girl. She's a young baby.

They'll figure it out. They'll figure it out. We all do. We all do. Go to therapy, go to a sound deprivation bath. Oh, I want to try that so bad. So do I. But my friend pooped herself in it because the salt, because the salt,

the salt speeds up your digestive system. So she, she, she hit herself and she was like banging on the door to be let out. They wouldn't open the door, just floating with her own poop in there. And then she picked it up and she tried to push it down the drain with her toes. She waffle stomped it. She's naked. Oh, no.

Okay. I'm going to try shrooms and Joshua tree first. Please do that. Do that first. Let's go step by step. But if you see yourself in the sound deprivation bath, you got to call me. My first one. There you go.

I'll come get you. I'll come get you. Help, mom. Can you come pick me up? She's shit in there. I wonder if that costs extra to do that. I think she ran out to be honest. She was naked.

She ran out. I would try to scoop that out with a shirt or something, like strain it out of there. And no one would know. They would not leave any evidence behind. My friend shouldn't be self at the beach and he tried to like pick it up with the towel and let it go. Like, you know, bury it in the sand like a cat, you know, like people in like the North Pacific or not the North Pacific and like really cold spaces like Antarctica

and stuff like they put an elder person on the ice ship and like push it away. He said he like did that with his poop and he turned around. What, a piece of seaweed? He said something. He said that when he was turning around, he heard somebody scream, I think it's human. So he pooped in the water outside, I think. I think he carried it in there like a beloved. Why wouldn't your first thought just be the beach is a litter box?

Poop panic makes you crazy. Poop panic makes you freaking crazy. It does. You know, it does. Oh, my God. That's great. But anyway, yeah, mazel to them. I wish I had a poop story now.

I'm like notorious, so many. I'm notorious for putting poop stories on this podcast. People have literally left me reviews on Apple podcasts mean like Morgan, enough is enough, no more poop stories. Like I have so many poop stories. I love them. It's just like my bread and butter. There's no.

We'll talk about it. Well, I mean. Have you pooped yourself? I'm so. When? How? Why? One time I was 21 and I had a panic attack and I shit myself in the car. Yeah, that would come out and he and I was like anything but the little

mermaid towel towel or the Lion King towel. And he goes, why? And he goes, fuck, dude. And then another time I was I was a styling assistant for like a really long time for like five years or something. I was like my first grown up job, you know, we're like, I'm paying taxes. Yeah, you know, and we were I grew up in Coral Gables and there's like all these like super old houses that are just beautiful.

And one was like, I'm not exaggerating. Three houses down from my house, three houses down. And it was something for the food network. And no, it's a pine saw. It was a pine saw commercial. Oh, OK, perfect set to poop on. And I got a stomach ache and this was one of the first times that my boss left me alone on set that she's like, Teffy's got it.

And I said, thank you so much. Teffy, don't got it. My stomach was so bad. I remember I was like, it was so bad. My mom was like, why wouldn't you just go home? I was home. And I was like, it was that bad that I ran to the talents trailer, which is probably the size of this room.

And I went to the bathroom and I just absolutely lost it. And I remember I was like going to flush and it was nothing. And I was like, the toilet wasn't activated. I was like, hello. Like and then I hear knocks on the door saying, hey. And I'm like, he's like, hey, I need to use the restroom. And it's one of the like producers, one of the producers that I worked with all the time.

And to be completely honest with you, I had a huge crush on. He had a wife, he had children. You still wanted to think you're cool. We're crushed. I was 20. Yeah, exactly. We get it. That was my work husband. Well, ex-husband.

Anyway, so I try to clean it up as best I can. I take favorite towels and I'm trying to put it down to sink and the sink gets clogged. And I just there's I'm just living in a world of shit emotionally and physically. And so that I have to open and he's like, hey, are you OK? Like, are you OK? And I'm like, and I open. I'm on my period. I need a minute.

And I open the door and I look at him and I'm like, this is so crazy. Somebody. You blame Doug. So what? Someone was to come in here and just shush and shit everyone. And he goes, somebody I'm like. It wasn't me. I promise. I remember being like, oh, my God, he's like, all right,

I'm going to get the I'm going to get someone to clean this up. But I'm like, yeah. And then I look and like, let's find this guy. I didn't say for fucking days. I was just spinning spinning like when Ru's at her worst, that was me thinking about poop. Oh, my God. Did you go back to work after this?

It was a three day shoot. I didn't look at anybody in the eyes. Did they not have water hooked up to the trailer yet? They hadn't turned on the water. Yeah. But who the fuck doesn't turn on the fucking water? It sounds like a Coachella bathroom nightmare. Like, have you been in those Coachella bathroom trailers?

You know, it's my first time at Coachella. Maybe it's first Coachella. You'll probably have an artist pass or VIP, though. You'll be a different experience than the rest of us peasants. This, this story and my best friends, they get some angry. They're like, how could you do that? I'm like, you don't understand. It was so bad.

I had alcohol poops. But didn't, OK, so like, was it the type of trailer, though, when you, you stick your foot on it, like the hole opens? And it didn't go down. It just sat there. Like an airplane. Oh, I'm there. I can see myself.

I'm bringing you back. I'm bringing, I'm, I'm growing out my bangs. I see it. Oh, my God. That was terrible. That's the best. Someone musters to do this. That's the best story I've ever heard.

How do you get the poop off your hands? Like, I knew you, you're like. You must have stunk the rest of the day. What? I ran home to my house and my mom was like, what the, why are you crying? I was like, Philly, babe, it doesn't love me anymore. I know.

Yeah, it was great. It was great. It was great. It was a good time. I love this. OK. Walk the dogs, school drop off, meetings from 10 to 3, take kids to soccer, then no time left for a jog.

When everyone else is relying on you, it's easy to put your needs last. BetterHelp connects you with a licensed therapist online so you can show up for yourself the way you do for others. Find more balance with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's better, H-E-L-P.com. Anyway.

Well, let's experience someone else's trauma and study yours. Let's go. Am I the asshole for making my wife think our son went missing? Yeah. OK. Probably. Probably. My wife has a horrible habit that I discovered two months ago.

We were ordering lunch on the Subway app, and I told her to pick the location that has a drive-through. That way, we don't have to go inside and take the baby out of the car just to clip him back in a few minutes later. She told me it's not a big deal to leave the baby in the car to run in and pick it up really fast. I had no idea she ever did this. I told her I was not comfortable with her leaving him in the car alone

even for a minute. Right. And she told me she's been doing it since he was born, and it's always been fine. She told me she does it to pick up food, run into the post office or the pharmacy, etc. I was floored. We don't live in a horrible area,

but it's also not super safe either. I told her not to ever do this again. She told me she never stopped to think about the potential dangers and that she would stop doing it. Well, yesterday, as I was driving home from my brother's house, I spotted her car at the gas station near our place. It was parked in a spot up front and not at a pump, so I figured she stopped in to grab some snacks,

which we like to do. I decided to stop and go in and say hi and get some food, and I pulled in and parked next to her. However, when I got there, I was furious to find our son in the car seat. The car wasn't even locked. I don't know. I don't know what came over me,

but in that moment, I decided to take my son and put him into my car. He's got a car seat in there, too. I then drove to the other side of the gas station parking lot and waited for my wife to come out. It took six minutes for her to appear. When she saw that he was gone, she looked stunned for a second

and then started to frantically look around and cry. I didn't let it go on long after I saw her pull out her phone, presumably to call 911. And that's when I pulled my car around to her. I parked, got out, and walked around to my son's door, opened it to show her that he was in there. She looked extremely relieved, but that quickly turned to anger

with her asking me why I took him and did that to her. I told her she needed to learn her lesson, and she promised to stop leaving him in the car and that she was extremely irresponsible. It was so easy for me to pull up and take him. No one else at the gas station even noticed. So if he was really taken, there would have been no help and it would have been 100% her fault.

She proceeded to call me cruel and psychotic and tried taking our son out of my car into hers. I said no, and that I would be driving him home and I left. She came home not much later, but ignored me the rest of the day. She acknowledged me today saying she wanted an apology and I said, absolutely not. She's the one who should be saying sorry.

She's been guilt-tripping me the rest of the day saying no mother should experience the fear I put in her. Did I go too far? Okay, I'm gonna say this. I don't know who the fuck you think you are. You're not her parent. You are not here to teach her a lesson, and I never hate ultimatums.

I never love ultimatums, but in that case, if you feel that strongly, you say, if you do this one more time, I'm leaving you and I'm getting custody. There's no way. I rather an ultimatum than you try to teach me a lesson. The things I've run through at parent's time, if I don't find my cat for 15 minutes,

I'm like, I put her in the dryer. She's dead. You know what I mean? The things that run through your mind, especially a little kid, I'm the oldest of three, so if I was in the car, it was three of us, and no one was gonna kidnap us, we were terrible.

You would think that you left the gremlins in there from the movie after they give them water. That was us. Literally, we were horrible. I thought the car seats in a car were for graffiti. It was terrible. It was terrible. But literally, if I was a wife and I was like,

look, I don't have any help. It sounds like she doesn't have help. She's with the kid all day, and maybe the kid is calm in the car, and she doesn't want to take the kid inside. This is recent. I understand COVID, pandemic worries, and stuff like that in and out.

Fine, whatever. She must have her reasons. I'm not saying that. The last thing I think is that she's a bad mom. That's something you do to someone who is cruel. It is a little vengeful. A little. A little.

So the overall vote on this. Is that he's not the asshole? Yeah. Yo, get the fuck out of here. Yeah, overall vote, not the asshole. Top comment. And there is an update, so we do find out a little more.

But the top comment goes, normally I'm fully against game playing, but this is your child's life. I support your actions. Your wife is being hugely neglectful. Not to mention it'll be warm soon, and being left in a hot car even for a few minutes can be deadly.

Not the asshole. And I wouldn't let her take him anywhere until she apologizes. Absolutely fucking not. Dude, get the fuck real. These are people that are mad at her because of the idea of a mother. Like this person has to live for this person

that they birthed. Like the devoted mother, the Virgin Mary, the one crying over Jesus on the cross. Like this whole thing of like devotion and all stuff. She's a person. People are so fucking ridiculous. People make mistakes, for sure. If this was a dad, they'd be like,

he's a busy guy. People do make more excuses for men. I'm so fucking losing. I'm gonna go, I gotta disagree though. I do think the way he executed was a little... a little unhinged. You know what?

If you want to teach her a lesson, fine. A little unhinged. My mind would have been like my kids in a sex trafficking ring. Immediately. Immediately. I would have taken the baby out of the car seat and met her in the store.

And I've been like, you know how easy it was for me to just get him out of the car? Exactly. That's what I mean. Do you know how easy it was for me to walk up to your car and take our baby? Do you know how many people... There was an adoption scheme

where this woman stole like 5,000 babies from hospitals. Just walk in, take them and put them up for adoption. A couple famous celebrities actually got their kids through her. Like, there's crazy schemes out there. Yeah, absolutely.

So I wouldn't... I wouldn't have given her the jump scare. I would have taken the baby out and just met her in the store. I'm like, hey bitch, what you doing? I know. So part of me is like, I'd rather tell my wife,

I'd rather him have the tantrum. Yeah. It's worth it to have for him. Walk the dogs, school drop off, meetings from 10 to 3, take kids to soccer, then no time left for a jog.

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to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHELP.com. To have the tantrum, then to be taken. You didn't even lock the fucking car. Yeah. Like this isn't a purse. You know what I mean? This isn't like...

It's not even a dog. Like you can leave a dog in the car and crack the window with AC on. No, my grandfather would have called the cops on you. People do that now, yeah. My grandfather would walk around with a wrench to break the windows

on if they saw an animal. But that's what I'm saying. But another part of me, the other side of me is like, whom I've never been a stay-at-home mom. So I don't know. And I'm thinking, it sounds a little postpartum to me.

Postpartum depression is a big problem that I'm passionate about. So she could be really struggling. Maybe her only breaks from the kid is when she's in the post office. Like those six minutes is all she has. But there's a point where I'm like, okay, so how do I meet you in the middle?

Like you got to be honest with me. And I won't, I'm not going to think you hate our kid and you want our kid to be kidnapped. You know what I mean? Like I don't think you're leaving a carrot under a box for a rabbit, you know? I get it.

Yeah. But you can't do this. And if you're feeling this way, how can we meet in the middle? Yeah. And it might be, dad, maybe you work less. Like maybe we get into daycare.

We got to ask our moms or families or something like that. Yeah. But there's respite care for people. Like if you need an hour a day, like you need three hours a day to go run your errands and enjoy yourself. There's night nurses.

Yeah. You know? There's shit you can do. And like I know affordability is tough, but partner with another mom where the other mom comes over with her baby, she watches your baby and then you return the favor.

Like there's ways to do this. So if that's what you need, you just got to fucking communicate that to your partner. Yeah. I'm talking to someone who does not have children. Far. Far from it.

But the moments, Far. Justin, you heard? I feel like when the first sentence, we don't live in a bad part of town. If you want, Yeah, it doesn't matter. True crime, the first sentence,

it was a sleepy, quiet town. Always. Always. The most horrendous things. Like my aunt lives in New Canaan, Connecticut. I swear, I think I'm the only brunette there. It's like the most famous, boring place. And the most horrendous things happen.

Actually, the family that lived in that house before my family hid Angela Davis in the basement, which is crazy. It was a very rock and roll. Oh my God. Yeah. But anyway, yeah. So I understand.

I can understand how someone's like, dude, it's just five minutes. I'm doing my best. I'm with the kid all fucking day. I'm sorry. I forgot to lock the car. But the other side of it is like, is that what you're going to tell the cops?

Yeah. When they're trying to look for our kid? Yeah. Parenting is hard. Parenting is a hard place for me. Like when people ask me like, oh, Tuffy, I'm trying to, like my teenager's driving me nuts. What I do.

I'm like, everything I say comes from zero experience. I have never been a parent. I've only been a kid. And I cannot tell, I cannot tell a parent how to parent if I've only been a kid. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's unfair.

But I think if we're talking about the kid's point of view, he much rather go into the store than be stolen. Oh, you'd fucking think. So OP gives an update on the situation. I sat my way down this morning and did apologize for the way I went about things. But I said I was not sorry for caring about her son's safety. And in the moment felt like she needed a huge wake up call.

She apologized for lying and continuing to do this unsafe practice. I asked her why she seems so casual about what she is doing. Most parents I know, myself included, are on the paranoid side when it comes to their kids. And she has been doing this for so long without seeing an issue. I asked if she thinks she's dealing with some kind of post part of mental health issue as I don't consider this normal.

She broke down crying saying she doesn't know what's wrong with her. I knew it. Poor baby. She has agreed to seek counseling. And until there is a major change slash improvement, I will be running all errands with my son or we will be doing them together.

But I told her I cannot trust her anymore to take him places by herself. Until she gets her mind right. That's a little mean. I look at people when we talk about post part of depression, it's like, of course, those hormones are crazy. Oh my God. My sister in law went through hell with it.

And like, she's very open about it. She's been on and talked about it. But she remembers an experience she had where the baby just would not stop crying, would not stop crying. She was about to go fucking crazy. And she remembers this intrusive thought. And this was like her wake up call. Like, holy fucking shit.

This is too much. Yeah. But it was a thought like, what would happen if I put hot sauce in my baby's eyes? Oh, that's too much. Yeah. And she was like, holy fucking shit. I need professional help.

And she's a PA. She's a medical provider. And so it's like, it can affect anyone and everyone. Yeah. And it fucking, when it hits. Yeah. It does not discriminate. No.

My mom and my family are crazy though. I feel like I'm the only sensitive one in that bitch. Like everybody is like, my mom is so rock and roll. She showed up early. I tell my manager this all the time because they have the same birthday and they're the same person. My mom was like, oh yeah. Maternity leave, like this person in my office,

she's having a baby. So exciting. But she wants like two months maternity leave. Isn't that crazy? And I said, what do you mean? She's like, I showed up after three weeks. I was bored. I know.

Oh my god. My mom loves, loves to work. She was like born to work. Yeah. But I was like, you don't want to spend more time with me? She's like, you're a baby. You can't talk. You're with your grandma.

You're boring. You're boring. I can only do so much. She was like, please. Let me come back when you're like one and talking. And my grandma didn't experience what I asked her about. She's like, were you ever sad to have a kid? She's like, no.

And my mom neither. So, but they obviously, they believe it. You know what I mean? Like they, they're not like this is made up or whatever women being drawn. Of course not. They're like, the hormones are crazy. Yeah. I think my grandma had like a thyroid issue after like insane.

But I remember when Brook Shields talked about postpartum depression and Tom Cruise said it was made up. My mom like had a hard time understanding it because she had three kids and like never experienced it. And so like when my sister-in-law was going through it, she was like, I, I get it's a thing, but like, I can't wrap my head around it because I didn't experience it. And I think that's a problem with a lot of issues in the world. It's like, that's what I tell, that's what I tell people from generations older than

us too. Just because you don't see it or just because you didn't feel it doesn't mean that it didn't happen. You know what I mean? Yeah. So, and also I'm, my mom and my grandma, they had babies. The last, my mom's last baby was 26 years ago. So she can speak about things in a different perspective, but also me thinks that maybe

in 1959, people weren't talking about it in Medellin, Colombia. I would, I would think that's true. Yeah. So it's about, it's, it's like when people talk about losing, losing babies now, like miscarriages, it is so fucking common. And I grew up thinking it was one in a million. And just now. It's so common.

So fucking common. And people act like, oh my God, my body was designed to do this. You're still growing a human being. Sometimes things go awry. It blows my mind. It's very sad. Blows my mind. Blows my mind.

Blows my mind. Girl power. Crazy. Well, I'm happy for this couple. It seems like things will get sorted. Mental health help is very important. I wish you'd loosen up a little bit. Come on, Bob.

Find her a babysitter. Like she needs to get out of the house too. That's what I'm thinking. I want to say that, but socioeconomic, you know, issues. I want to be like, get a sitter. My mom didn't get a sitter is my grandma. Yeah, no, I went, I grew up with my grandma. She, she had a rough.

You know, it takes a village. It really does. It takes a village. Okay. One last, am I the asshole story? And then I'll give you some celebrity fights. Okay, let's do it. Am I the asshole for making a joke about my brother's affair at his wedding?

When I was in elementary school, I was the type of kid who got disrupts class often on their report card. So I never focused much on school. My district had the system where they would pair high schoolers with younger kids to help them in school. And my mom made me do that after I kept getting in trouble. So my tutor was a freshman, Abby. She would come to our house after school and help me with my homework or something.

My brother, John was the same age as Abby. So they would talk to each other and ended up dating. She stopped tutoring me officially after like a month, but since she was still at her house a lot, I also talked to Abby and we grew very close. Before we were 10 years, Abby and John married and had a kid together. Five years later, John tells me that he's getting a divorce because he's met someone new. It sucked because I like John and Abby together a lot, but whatever.

Then he tells me he had an affair with his new girlfriend. Also sucks. And I told him he shouldn't have hurt Abby like that, but whatever. I also asked Abby how she was doing and she wasn't doing well, but she told me that she didn't want her to be the reason I had a bad relationship with my brother. However, two months before the wedding, Abby calls me and tells me that my brother's girlfriend has been harassing her nonstop. She showed me the text and his girlfriend was saying some pretty disturbing things about

how she's so much better than Abby, taunting Abby for having to share custody of her kid now, et cetera, just making fun of her and bullying her. We got a tough guy. Okay. I told my brother about this and he said he would quote, ask his girlfriend about it. A month later, I asked him if he ever brought it up and he said he did, but saw nothing wrong with the text, which pissed me off. I confirmed that he saw the same text I saw.

Abby apologized for involving me in the whole thing in the first place and encouraged me to still go to the wedding where my brother asked me to make a speech. The speech went well until he made a joke. The gist of the joke was me turning to his new wife and telling her that if she's learned anything from this, she should know that my brother quote, will never let his wife stop him from finding the love of his life. This got my brother and wife really mad at me. That's fucking funny.

That's fucking funny. That's fucking funny. Okay. I love this. This is a good joke. This is karma, instant karma. This got my brother and his wife really mad and they kicked me out shortly after and my brother has been calling slash texting me nonstop yelling at me.

You know why they kicked you out, babe. Cause you're right. Seriously. If they were kicking you out, I'd be like, okay. Okay. There's two sides, right? There's two sides. One, you never embarrass the family.

No. Never. Never do that. Not at the wedding. Not at the wedding. Not in front of people and especially on camera, but you want to humiliate him behind closed doors? Go buck.

Go bananas. You say this at a small little get together. You say it at family Sunday dinner. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's okay. That's fine. But a speech.

Never. Second, it reminds me of Prince Harry and Prince William. Oh. Cause Prince William cheated on Kate with her best friend Rose and Prince Harry. I'm in the, I'm, I'm on the international blogs. Okay. I watched the series you did and I'm, I'm a big Meghan Markle fan. I know you like the royal family.

No, no, no, no. I'm, I love Meghan Markle too. It's just, I know somebody that knows her ex-husband and sometimes they're like, oh, she's so mean. I'm like, but you're talking to the ex. Yeah. You got to consider the source. Got to get both sides. Apparently she was a big social climber or whatever.

Who gives a fuck? Yeah. But I'm like, of course, if I was her ex and I was bit, doesn't matter. You get it. Everybody, everybody. Yeah. Even Princess Diana was not perfect. You know?

And I love her for it. You know? She's a cancer, whatever. Anyway. She, I'm thinking like one, you don't embarrass him, but two, Prince Harry has a conflict with his brother because of what Prince Charles did with Camilla to Diana, right? So he's like, um, how could you do this to someone you've been with since you were what, like 1920?

I feel like Harry and Kate were so, so close to. So close. They were. They were little buddies. Yeah. Every, every photo you see, they're like whispering, laughing at each other. Yeah. But like brother and sister, not like anything weird.

And this is also like spectator. Okay. You know what I mean? Like, I mean, you and I, we're not in Buckingham Palace. I wish. As much as I want it. As much as I want to be. You know, I want to talk to the queen.

I know. I want to, like when Princess Diana threw herself down the stairs, I'm going to be like, yo, Liz. Liz. What happened? What the fuck? You know what I mean? So, um.

I feel that we're both crazy horse girls. And I like Corgis too. So I feel like we'd be like this. I feel like, so a part of me is like, I'm a dolphin girl. Oh, I love that for you. I know. Lisa Frank. I was like, she's got ponies on her too.

Yeah. Do you know my favorite fact about Lisa Frank? What? Is that she was on the same street as the Bank of America headquarters and they changed it from like, I forget the name of the street, like, like, um, old road or whatever to Lisa Frank Avenue. I like that. And Bank of America stopped getting their mail and they had no idea why because of Lisa

Frank didn't tell them that they changed the address. Bank of America had to like plead with Lisa Frank. You figured that the postman would understand. No, he's like, fuck these guys. Fuck these guys in the maintenance fee. Fuck them. But whatever. Um, I, so a part of me loves that he's sticking up for Abby, but there's other ways to do

that. I don't think humiliating someone is the way to do it. But if I were him, I would have a drink at the wedding. I'd make the speech saying, I love seeing my brother happy, whatever, whatever. And then at the speech be like, I want you to know that Abby is the mother to my nieces and nephews. And if I catch you, if I catch you sending her one more fucking text, I'm going to make your life a living fucking hell.

There's no way you're going to harass somebody that I know and that I love and that you fucked her husband and you have no right to, and I would be like, and you know what? I'm going to tell you something else. You're not as bad as you think you are, babe. Bitch. How are you? How are you losing? Absolutely.

Yeah, please. And that's, that's the mistress paranoia you got to live with. So top comment. You know how vigilantes are technically in the wrong, but we all cheer them on anyway. You're the asshole, but high five. I know. You know what I mean? I know.

Sometimes it's like. Sometimes it needs to be done. Like you're such a dick. But I get it. Justified asshole. But I get it. You should come over for dinner. I love you.

You know what I mean? I love that. Justified asshole. Okay. Wrapping it up real quick. Okay. We have a speed round of celebrity, am I the asshole edition? Okay.

Let's do it. We just have to say if they're the asshole or not the asshole. Okay. Justin Bieber skateboarding away as Hailey Bieber got out of the car and fell. Okay. Absolutely the asshole. Selena Gomez dating the weekend. Not the asshole.

Lindsay Lohan versus Hilary Duff. They were kids. I want to say, I'm just saying Lindsay Lohan was the asshole though. She was like taunting her. There is another category called everyone sucks. You can just say everyone sucks. No, Hilary Duff did not suck. Okay.

Let's chat Michael Murray and tell him, talk shit about Hilary while they're on set together. Yeah. That's like fucking. I thought both of them showing up to each other's premieres uninvited. Hilary was following Lindsay's lead. Hilarious. Okay. Yeah, definitely.

I'm going to go with Lindsay's the asshole, but like rock and roll. Okay. Taylor Swift versus Kanye and Kim. Kim's the asshole. Get your fucking husband off bullying a little girl. I know. She's a little fucking girl. He stole her mic.

That asshole. Eminem versus MGK. Not the asshole. Kind of in everyone. Just like, not a thing. Okay. Colson, you'll survive whatever his name is. Nicki Minaj and Miley Cyrus.

Not the fucking asshole. You heard about Nicki? It was a little unhinged. They paid her 50 K for a verse. No album out. Damn. That's a lot of money. That's a lot of money.

Last but not least, Chris Rock versus Will Smith. You got, you had a first. Everybody sucks. I had a front row seat. Everybody sucks. I would agree with that. I would. Somebody asked me, I'm going to be honest.

Okay. Somebody asked me what I would have preferred and I would have preferred you scare the shit out of Chris Rock behind the scenes behind the scene. Just steal the mic. I didn't steal the mic. Yell from your seat. Shut the fuck up. You're not fucking funny.

You're not fucking funny. I would prefer that. Yeah. But get up there, steal the mic and be like, you know what? That wasn't funny. You really just got alopecia. That was a tasteless joke. Or like my wife was sick.

Shut the fuck up. And then I would have screamed, bitch. Like that. Yeah. I know. Needed to be said minus the assault. Yeah. Or like forehead finger him.

I laid out the after party. Yeah. Do that. Chris Rock isn't gonna, you know, he's like a little noodle. That's all I got for you. All right. Thank you so much for coming on. No, thank you.

This was a blast. Check it out all day. Yeah. Can people find you? Oh. Plug your socials. You know what I always say in your dreams. No.

So add, add Hello Tuffy on Instagram, Twitter, ticker, talker. I love it. Okay. In your dress. Until next time guys. Until next time. Bye.

Gotta walk the dogs. School drop off meetings from 10 to three. Take kids to soccer practice. Then there goes the extra time for a jog. That's okay. See you next week. To get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge.

Find more balance with better help. Visit betterhelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's better H-E-L-P.com. Walk the dogs. School drop off meetings from 10 to three. Take kids to soccer. Then no time left for a jog. When everyone else is relying on you.

It's easy to put your needs last. Better help connects you with a licensed therapist online. So you can show up for yourself the way you do for others. Find more balance with better help. Visit betterhelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's better H-E-L-P.com.