Two Hot Takes - 62: Updates and Do-Overs..

Episode Date: April 21, 2022

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Lauren. Go easy on us for this one y'all... we got some massive anxiety digging in to these spicy mis-takes.. but lets start off first with some updates!! Some left us more mad than the original story while others had us crying (shocker hehe). Can't wait to see what you all think about this one. Merch: https://fanjoy.co/collections/twohottakes Partners: Bombas: Bombas.com/THT Switchcraft: https://www.wooga.com/games/switchcraft Cerebral: Cerebral.com/THT Hello Fresh: HelloFresh.com/THT16 and use code THT16 Our SubReddit to Submit Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Support us on Patreon <3 !!  https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes

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Hi friends, this is a little bit different of an episode this week. We do a lot of talking and not so many Reddit stories. So if you come for the stories, check us out. We're getting into a deeper dive type version of ourselves and really sharing some vulnerable stories that have shaped our opinions over the show. And we're really nervous, excited, mostly nervous to share them with you. I think this kind of offers a deeper thought process into our minds and where our opinions come from on this show.

And we can't wait to hear what you guys think about it. Enjoy. Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of Two Soft Takes. I'm your host, Morgan. And I'm Lauren. Just kidding. Justin's giving us a hard time for doing this episode and he thinks it is going to go very very poorly.

And I think it'll be an interesting conversation and we'll see. It's either going to make you see where we were coming from on some of our takes or hate us. So we're taking a risk here. Yeah, Justin said there's way more risk than reward. But he literally said, don't do it. He's like, don't do it. Okay, but the thing is, is that the conversations that we're going to have is we're going to

go through the past stories that we had a lot of heat from. And I think there's kind of part of it is we want to be able to discuss with you guys, grow with you guys, grow with each other and have an open mind. We also don't want to get into a pigeonhole where we are changing our opinions because other people are telling us to. That's not good either. No, and that's not what the show is about. Exactly.

We're going to have a little spicy take here and there like, yeah, no one wants to agree all the time, right? Cause a little bit of controversy. Yeah, just a little, just a little. So we're going to start off with the updates first because there's some juicy ones. I'm really excited. So let's dive in. Let's do it.

So I had you look at all of these. So you are familiar with the stories. If you weren't on the episode that it came from, correct, which is good. So we had one on an episode two weeks ago with Tefi and it was, and by the asshole for eating at the same restaurant as my husband's family. And so this story, she had a weird dynamic in her marriage where her husband had this tradition to go like to monthly dinners with his family and his partners and his brothers and his brother's partners.

And the wife that was writing in was constantly being left out. Like she only got to go 50% of the time to these dinners. And her husband was always like KG about the answer, all this stuff, like wouldn't like really tell her why she wasn't invited. So she decided to show up at the restaurant and eat while they were there and like this big fight ensued. Like mom said she was an asshole for interrupting their dinner. Husband came home later and was mad at her.

All this shit. It turns out she was mixed. She's half black and a lot of the commenters were like, this plays a part in your, in your dynamic. I bet that's the reason. And so me and Taffy talked about how like, this is divorce worthy for us. Like this is not okay for your partner to do. Like that's supposed to be a ride or die.

Like when you pick someone and you find your person and you marry them, like that's your new main family unit. It shouldn't, your loyalty shouldn't be to where you came from. Like your vagina unit, like what vagina you came out of. I don't know, like what's a good way to put it, but that. So for the update, wait, before we begin. I actually want to say I did watch that episode with Taffy. First of all,

Oh, we'll get to another one. Yeah. But I loved Taffy's episodes so much and so fun. And I was at pissed at this story, like pissed at the husband. It's ridiculous. It's so ridiculous. I would not say with this person, no, no, which she isn't either. Good.

Update. I left my husband first. I want to say thank you to everyone who commented on my post. I wasn't expecting it to get as many comments as it did. I'm trying to go through and read everyone's comments, but obviously that has taken some time and I'm still not done. This week has been a bit crazy, but I feel like I made enough progress to justify an update.

Here's what happened. Your comments gave me the confidence to confront my husband about why I wasn't invited and I wouldn't settle for a KG answer. So I asked him about it calmly and he said something like quote, Oh, it's just a family decision. So I said, I'm your family though. I deserve to know why. He said some very vague stuff like, well, you just don't fit in as well as everyone

else. And I asked him what that meant. He couldn't really explain it. I was thinking about how a lot of you were concerned about the racial dynamics of my relationship. Personally, I had never thought much about it. No one in his family has ever made a racist comment towards me or towards anyone else, but I wanted to cover my bases.

So I asked my husband if I was excluded because I was half black. My husband said, and I quote, No, it's not because of that. You know, I don't care about that. The way he said it implied that someone cared. So I asked who cared. He said, nobody. I asked if it was his mom who cared and he hesitated and said, maybe Wow. After a long conversation of prodding him, here's the story I eventually got.

His mom is not a fan of me. My race might factor into it, but he said it's also my personality and my political beliefs and the fact that we went to my parents' house on Christmas day, the first year we started dating. His mom told him that he should think about finding someone who, quote, suited him better. And she encouraged him to take some time away from me. She said the family dinners would be a great opportunity for him to be with his family, where he, quote, fit in.

I was invited sometimes because the dinners weren't always an excuse to get away from me, but some of them were. I was obviously devastated after hearing that, but it also felt good to finally hear an explanation. I asked him if he thought he needed even more space from me. He didn't even have the time to answer before I went into the bedroom and started packing some clothes. Good. I've been staying at my sister's house for a few days now.

I haven't contacted my husband. I'm giving him his space. We'll probably end up separating or getting a divorce, but right now it's too early to tell. This was so hard to type out, but everyone was so supportive. I felt like I owed it to you all. Thanks again for your kindness. Oh, I, it makes me so mad when I hear stuff like this, that, that mother, get over yourself.

I know that you want the best for your children, but if he's happy, she wants to date her child. That's what she's upset about. She's upset that she can't date her child, especially if it has anything to do with race. That just boils my fucking blood. It's weird. It's weird because it, it feels like, I think obviously race is probably playing a factor in this. And I have, again, like a very different context, like clearly if anyone watches on YouTube,

I'm white. So it's, to me, this feels very much like a mama's boy situation. And maybe there are some racial undertones that are like impacting where the mom, you know, and obviously he kind of implied it. Yeah. He said maybe, he said maybe. So maybe there's something there. Who knows?

Because he's being a cagey dick, but I think this is a lot of like enmeshment and mama's boy syndrome where the mom is just so overbearing of her son and like basically raised her son to be the perfect partner and then she doesn't get to reap the rewards. And so she's upset that he's with anyone, but then maybe the fact that he's with someone who is mixed or a black woman, that he is, it's not good enough for him. Like find someone who understands you. It's a better fit for you. But I really think because of the fact that she's held something from Christmas Day over

their head. Christmas Day, the first year we started dating, we went to my parents' house. And I think that's something that comes up in a lot of people's relationships where it's like, or it just like, it pisses like your in-laws off so much that they like, it constantly comes up then every time you have a fight or every time something's wrong. And it's like, that's not, that's not fair. Like, it was Christmas one day, the first day they were dating, like, and when you start meshing families together, you do have to make compromises on how you spend your holidays.

It's hard. Justin and I have like five different Christmases we have to go to. Yeah. Especially with divorced parents. Yeah. It's hard. His grandma's house, my mom, my dad, my grandma's house. They're six Christmases.

Especially because you guys are both from Minnesota. So it's like, you're not, and you're living in Los Angeles, so they don't get to see you all the time. So when you come back for the holidays. It's a nightmare. They're like, we need to see you. It's all of you. It's an absolute shit show for us.

It stresses him out to the point, he's like, I don't even want to go home anymore. I don't blame him. That is tough. That is really tough. It drives me, it just like, I love going home. So like it really, I always tell him, I'm like, it shouldn't be like this, like I love going home. So like, if this is what it's like for you, we need to come up with a better solution.

Yeah, definitely. Because they're like, again, meshing families does come with compromise. When you and Justin get a house, you guys can host it at your place and make everyone come out here and just, if the family dynamics are a shit show, fuck them. Just kidding. Yeah. It's, it's, it's, it's going to be, yeah. I, I had that too when I was dating Jeff back in Minnesota, because obviously his parents

are divorced, my parents are divorced, so holidays, we, yeah, we decided to dip out one of the years. So yeah, but, but no, it's, I, the thing, and like with this story too, I actually have a really hard time with the idea of dating somebody whose family doesn't like me because to me, family is really important. So if I'm going to marry into a family, that's like heartbreaking to me. If I were to have my husband's family, just not like me. And I like that, that is enough.

I know obviously love, it can trump everything, la, la, la, but if I were her, I would just not even want a part of that. I don't want that negativity in my life. Life's too short. Well, love can trump if your partner's willing to stick up for you and draw solid boundaries between the family that doesn't like you. There's so many people, especially like you search mother-in-law hashtag on TikTok. There's so many people that go through your mother-in-law drama.

I think, I think it is a really hard relationship for a lot of people to navigate. And so it can work if your partner is willing not to be a little pansy. I don't know. A little goofball. A little goofball. I'm like, I got to search every word I say now because I always give Morgan so much shit because she says goofy for everything. She could mean like actually just goofy or she could mean psychotic.

She just- You'll never know. You'll never know. I love it. I told her I was going to start using goofy and she was like, mmm, that's mine. Dibs. Yeah, but it is bad vibes from him. She can do better.

Someone that's like not going to not put her first. Yeah. Well, I hope she gives us an update again. Now I'm really curious. I know. So one of the top comments, there's only like a couple of comments, like the top comment on here has 41 upvotes, like there's not much yet. And so they go, if he's even willing to entertain his mom's idea of quote, he needs someone

who suits him better than he doesn't deserve you, he should have called her on her bullshit, but he didn't. Unfortunately, none of them will learn anything from this, but teaching them how to not be terrible is not your job. Someone else goes, you go girl and fuck that racist family. I know. And I don't, I don't want to say they're not racist and try to argue against that because clearly there's, there is an issue there.

Like he implied it. Yeah. But I think, especially if that's what he's saying to his wife, I feel like there's so much more. He's not even like telling the truth. No. He's like, he's still being teaching about it. When he's saying maybe, I feel like his mom probably said a bunch of shit and he's just

like, I can't. Yeah. I can't tell her. Yeah. I think this is like just like one of those layers things though where it's like, there's like, or like a pyramid, like it's like that Abby dance moms, like audio where it's like, blah, blah, blah. You were great, but not good.

And like she keeps doing the pyramid layers or whatever, like that's how this feels to me where it's like racism, enmeshment, mama's boy, like, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's like, like husbands a week ass, like, well, it's just like, it just like keeps going in the layers. And I'm like, I don't know what layer is greater, what one's on top of the pyramid. Like maybe racism is on top because that is like by far the bigger issue. And then maybe there's enmeshment and then we gas man. I love, I love that last one.

We gas man because he has bitch. Yeah. Okay. Moving along to the next update. I'm probably Lauren's favorite. I'm scared. My favorite. Actually.

Do you remember? No, no, no. So do you remember the story we had about a woman who ended up developing appendicitis and she ruined the big football game soccer game for her partner? Oh my God. That episode, uh-huh. It was titled, am I the asshole for causing drama during an important football game? No.

So this woman ended up developing appendicitis when her and her partner were on a weekend like get away about four hours away from their house. She had to have emergency surgery, had complications, all this stuff. She needed to be picked up, but there was an important football game the same night of her getting picked up. And so he drove all the way up there three to four hours away to wait. She wasn't ready to be discharged in time because, you know, whatever reason. And he got tired of waiting, didn't want to miss the football game with his buddies.

So he left and she was stuck there after an emergency surgery. Yeah. Because she couldn't even be released without somebody. Without anyone. Yeah. That's like discharge rules. I called him a couple of times and was like, hey, like what do I do? Like are you coming back?

Like why don't you get a hotel? We can watch the game at the hotel right next to the hospital. I won't let you miss it, blah, blah, blah. He called her dramatic, said he ruined her, he said she ruined his night. Like all this bullshit. Well, it was embarrassing in front of my friends. Yeah. Just a bunch of stuff.

And so it clearly was not a good relationship. I'm just going to go back. I was hard on him if you can't tell I'm going in. Yeah. Well, and it's like he left her there. Like that's just, that's just ridiculous. So the top comment that was left on this one at the end of the day was 47,000 upvotes about get out of this relationship now.

You're not the asshole. Your partner, however, is a world-class giant asshole. He put a game over you, a game. He wasn't playing in it. He wanted to watch other people play a game, leaving you stranded at a hospital. And then he has the audacity to be mad at you for interrupting him watching a game. Dump him now. You mean nothing to him and he has proven that.

You don't have a partner. You have a monster. The end. Yeah. I wasn't expecting the monster comment. Yeah. Well, and like he was like, I feel like she got gaslit a little bit where she was like, I know I don't understand.

She did feel really bad. Understand football culture and like this is a really big deal. And it's like, no, like my partner is in music. If he had a music performance that night, and he was actually performing, but I had emergency surgery, you bet your ass he would leave. That show would be canceled. Yeah. And this wasn't, I forget where it was.

It was in Europe somewhere. I think the United Kingdom. Yeah. And I remember seeing some comments that people were from UK and they're like, this actually is not even surprising. People go, people lose their minds over these games. Yeah. Well, and like, so there's like a bunch of comments on this post too.

It's like, you moved it, someone comments, you moved in with him after six months. He doesn't let you see his friends. And then like some other stuff. And she's like, I see my friends though, just not his. And they reply back, sounds like he has a side girl since you aren't allowed to meet his friends then. That's not true. He would never cheat.

That's what OP said. So did she have an update? So yeah, this is obviously why I'm bringing this up. So she ends up posting this post, the original one was nine months ago, and she ends up posting around the holidays during Christmas time four months ago. And she says, am I the asshole for making Christmas all about me, me, me, fiance, male 40 and I, female 27 spent Christmas with his family, mom, dad, sister, and her husband and three kids.

So did you notice that he's a fiance now? Wow. No, I missed that. He was partner last time and now she's been upgraded. Wow. Fiance. I am an expat and where I'm from, we celebrate on Christmas Eve. So fiance and I exchanged presents at home on the eve.

Christmas day at fiance's family's place started with breakfast and stockings and presents. I had gotten everyone something traditional from where I am from. For the adults, I'd gotten animal skins. When Jane opened her present, she didn't say anything and just put it aside. I felt a little bad, but I know she is not vegetarian. I didn't mind. There was nothing for me because they had invited me to their house and they did not know me from before, but I was the only one not opening presents that morning.

So fiance mentioned we had already done that the night before. Jane asked lots of questions about how we celebrate Christmas, so I told them all about it and I told her kids some folklore. I had also brought some traditional pies and dumplings I made with me. During the late lunch, Jane at some point mentioned that she had always seen fiance with a nice English girl and that quote, this one is certainly quite different. And I thought she rolled her eyes at me, but maybe I was a little self conscious. One day I was first up and so I got started with breakfast because Jane had worked so

hard for dinner the day before. Jane walked into the kitchen and so I said good morning and she said there's nothing good about this morning and that she had planned something else for breakfast and I should go wait somewhere else. I asked if she was sure I couldn't help and if everything was okay, but she did not say anything to me. After breakfast I stayed to help clear out, fiance and his sister do not help Jane much but in UK usually it's mum who does most of the stuff in the kitchen.

Joe and I were left in the kitchen, which is partner, that's the first time we've heard the name I'm assuming. Joe and I were left in the kitchen and he said Jane was upset over the quote stunt you pulled and that I should give her some time before apologizing if I planned to stick around. I was really shocked because I didn't understand what stunt that was and because I am engaged to be married so of course I planned to stick around. Joe said that because I am young I did not understand that I have to come to live in this country so I need to accept the British way of life or go back.

Oh my god! And not try to convert British Christmas into something it is not. What is with this dude? He said he and Jane had heard enough about my country. I apologized and after cleaning I went into our room and cried until we left. I didn't even say goodbye or thank you and I am now embarrassed by this. I told Fiancé about this and he said I was a bit over the top with trying to take over with my cooking and doing presents beforehand.

Again with the gaslighting. Fiancé said he wanted to stay away from it and doesn't want to take sides. I feel so unwelcome to my new family and I did not mean to make everyone upset especially on Christmas. I really did not mean to be the asshole here but I have offended people and it seems that within family. This poor girl. Am I the asshole for making Christmas about me?

No. Why didn't you listen to us last time? Why are you still there? I hate you! Me! Just. Ah! Sweetie.

What? What did you click the first time? And I feel so, she just sounds through her writing, she just sounds so innocent and sweet. It makes me so mad. There's a lot of naiveness here. How old is she? Naivety.

She is 27 and he is 40. Which I know age gaps can be good but this one speaks a lot like especially since he used you're younger so you're going to have to understand. No shut up. You need to accept British culture or go back to your country. Sounds like there's a little bit of racism in this one too. Yeah literally. I mean who, what, why, why would you just say that to your fiance, accept it or leave?

That is just such a, that's such a toxic way to deal with a fight. Why are you letting your fiance get bullied by your family? Yeah. She was trying to do a nice gesture and if you can't recognize that, that was a nice gesture and you're automatically assuming the worst of your partner that oh you tried to make it about you. You brought gifts and tried to make it about you. If you're assuming the worst in your partner, why are you with them?

Yeah. Why'd you propose? Because he knows that he can manipulate her and that's and he likes the power and he likes the control because he's a little bitch. This is what this is. So she goes edit, please don't call my fiance the asshole because of my previous post here. We have resolved. Too late, sorry, sorry.

He fucking sucks. Sorry girl. He deserves to fall in a sewer. We have resolved that old argument. Moved on and gotten engaged since. He is a good man for me. Top comment on this one, your fiance is going to be the asshole husband if he lets his family treat you this way for normal culture misunderstandings.

Yeah, OP. Do you want a man who says stay out of it? Oh, yeah. OP. Do you want a man who stays out of it and lets his family treat you this way for possibly the rest of your life? Why be with a man who doesn't have your back? Agreed.

And OP replies to that one and goes, I think you were just saying this because you saw maybe a post I made here before about an argument we had about football, but try to judge him based on what he knows. He is staying out of it because he doesn't like arguments and that is okay. He is a good man. And someone goes, we are judging him on this post alone. Letting racist family members treat you badly is not what a good man does. Hold on, you're engaged and this is the first time you're meeting your fiance's family?

Also what the fuck is that stick around comment? This was the first time I was meeting his sister and her family. Third time I was meeting his mom and dad. Sorry if I wasn't clear about that. They aren't super close. Someone goes, the British way? The country that colonized most of the world? That's such hogwash.

Uh, these comments, they're pretty good. Yeah. Pretty on point. I know, I'm trying to find something. I feel like there was another thing happening here. He's a good man for me, but just doesn't like arguments. No, he doesn't like when you try to stir the pot or have an opinion or have feelings or have a voice.

My fiance voted Brexit, but it was before we met. We really don't talk about it, but sure, it does bother me a bit. He is pretty proud to be British though, and he is quite a traditional conservative, so I think he voted Brexit because of British values and not because he doesn't like foreign people. I, so when I was traveling, I met a French guy and I also met these two guys from the UK. And the French guy was just notorious for talking shit about everyone.

It was hilarious. I, like, it was, it was in a humorous way, so it was great. He would always joke that he knows English better than I do, and it's his third language. So just as an example, um, so anyway, he was saying to the two guys when he met them, two guys from the UK, he's like, Jesus, I feel so bad for you guys because of Brexit. And they're like, you know that it's bad when a French guy is feeling bad for somebody from UK. You know it's bad.

Yeah. I was, I was dying laughing. I know. Well, it's just like, we don't typically get into politics and the weeds of things here, but I know a lot of people, um, make comparisons of like Boris Johnson and Trump and how, like, Brexit was kind of the same thing as like, make America great again. And it's like, like, okay, I see what the underlying message is with both of them. So here's the kicker.

Not the asshole, but wow, are you really, really sure about this relationship? Most people have some asshole relatives, so I'm not judging your fiance based on his sister and her husband's actions, but his avoidance of the situation and then trying to turn the blame on you is a major concern. I'm afraid that if you continue this relationship, you will be facing a future of giving up your cultural identity and not getting to pass your heritage onto your possible future children in the name of keeping the peace. His lack of support for you in this situation seems like a harbinger of things to come.

And OP responds, I am actually pregnant. Wow. My children will learn to speak my language, but I do want them to also learn about their English heritage. I think it is best for a girl not to come between a man and his mom. I wouldn't want to cause an argument between them. First of all, you're a woman, a girl to come between a man and his mom. Second of all, your man needs to be able to have boundaries with his mom.

Like, what's not clicking, sweetie? Well, especially now that they're starting a family of their own. Yeah, this is very sad, very, very sad to me. I just think like it's one of those things that she is deserving of being with someone who treats her nicely, who values her, who doesn't like squash her and who she is. If I had a different culture than the person I was dating, I would hope that we could mesh our lives together and include everything. Like, my mom and my dad kind of did that where, like, my dad was Jewish, my mom is not.

And so we grew up doing it all. We grew up lighting the menorah still, but we also had a Christmas tree. So it's just very unfortunate because I think the more you know and the more you let into your life and your heart, like, there's so much to enjoy there. I just don't understand why she keeps writing in because it's almost like I feel like she knows that everyone hates him. Well, I feel like she knows that she's not the asshole in the situation. Why is she asking us?

What is she looking for? I don't think she has anyone to turn to. But she wants to be the asshole. That's what's confusing to me. She's like, am I the asshole? And everyone's like, no. And she's like, no, no, no, I am. I am.

And it's like, no, you're not. Because that's what gaslighting and abuse does to people. You start believing it. And I think, you know, I don't know where she's from. I don't know what her culture is. And a cultural thing could be where in some cultures, women are more submissive women. Don't rock the boat. Women don't have a voice.

They're, they're just homemakers in some cultures and some areas of the world, whatever. And so I think maybe that's a traditional norm for her where she's like, no, my husband, he's nice. Like it's fine. He is a good man. He just doesn't like to argue. So I don't know. I guess what is she looking for though?

Does she want people to be like, you're the asshole and then she can feel good about being the asshole? I think she wants, she wants someone to like put it into perspective. I truly think she's one of those girls who, who doesn't have a lot of friends. Like she sounds very closed off to me because she's turning to Reddit. And I bet the friends that she does have have probably already told her, you need to leave this man. And so she can't go back to them with these, the same problems because they're just going

to be like, we told you before you were pregnant, but now, now Reddit's doing that. She should have created a new profile. Yeah, she should have done a new throwaway if she really, but just ridiculous. Walk the dogs, school drop off, meetings from 10 to three, take kids to soccer, then no time left for a jog. When everyone else is relying on you, it's easy to put your needs last. BetterHelp connects you with a licensed therapist online, so you can show up for yourself the way you do for others.

Find more balance with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's better H-E-L-P dot com. Moving along, moving along. So there's a couple of stories we have tried to get edits on that I've messaged these people so many times. Two of which am I the asshole for calling out my kid's future stepmom for treating me like a surrogate?

That was the story about a woman who was dating a guy for a little bit. She got pregnant with twins. He went and got back together with his ex-girlfriend Kim, cuckoo Kim, and Kim was treating her like a surrogate, even going so far as to post on Facebook and being like, we're welcoming twins via a surrogate, like she was bonkers. She ended up, on the last update she left us at, she was going to leave the state and make sure she didn't have her babies in the same state and try to stay away from Kim and Joe, the guy.

It was just bad. Kim showed up at her work, screaming at her, saying she ruined her life, all this crazy shit. A lot of people thought that Kim went so far and Joe went so far as to do this on purpose. This was posted a year ago now. I've messaged three, four times and no response, no updates that I've seen, and no new comments on the post either, like trying to just like maybe be OP, like post a new update, can't edit, so here's blah blah blah.

So nothing like that. So that's one. The next one is of course the infamous box. And I've messaged both box stories, the olive box story where it had to do with the fridge and the new tampon box story. And neither person have replied, and I again messaged an obsessive amount, and so I feel really weird. They're like, now that you're putting out a podcast, god damn.

I know, I'm like going to the tampon one just to make sure, because I checked last night and it still wasn't there, but yeah, last edit is I've read a few comments. I don't know why people assume there aren't tampons in the tampon box, which now that I'm thinking about it, I don't think I read the tampon box story on the show. I think it was the live show. And so this was, it was a story called Am I the Asshole for Touching My Wife's Tampon Box. And so this man was cleaning stuff, he moved the tampon box from like a closet to like a

bedroom or something, and the wife flipped out and was like, don't touch my tampon box. And so people were like, what's in the box? There's not tampons in that box. Like what, what's in there? And so no response, no comments, no message back. We do have an update on the story. I found out my partner has been putting slugs in my food. I don't know how to forgive him.

That one was wild. That one was terrible. Yeah. Absolutely terrible. Especially what, what slugs can do to a person. They can kill a person. Like so many people were commenting on the YouTube on that one, just being like, this is so dangerous.

People can literally die from eating slugs. They have died. Like some, I think it was a man that ate a slug as a part of like a challenge and he ended up dying. Wow. We have an update though. We do have an update. So I think we left off about, he kind of came clean.

Like he admitted to all these things. He swapped her vegetarian sausages with real meat. He put one of her giant African land snails into a smoothie. She assumed it had escaped, but he said it died. So he scrapped, scraped it out and put it in my curry. He also rubbed my toothbrush on the toilet and then washed it as he thought it was too far. I felt like it was all a dream and it just feels too dramatic to be real.

I'm unsure what is happening on the legal front. He says he didn't know why he did this and that he does love me truly and that he felt compelled to do it, which I understand as I suffer from OCD and get compulsions slash impulsions and that he really loves taking care of me and he feels it's his purpose and he didn't mean to cause serious harm. He promises he never did anything to our animals. I think he could just be stressed as I have mental health issues that could have caused something in him to break from too much stress.

I'm really, really sad and sorry for those who I cause concern. What, what did he say the reason was that he did this? Did he give a reason? But why did he even tell her? Did he have an impulse to tell her? If she wouldn't have ever known, then why did he decide to come clean? He didn't come clean. He was telling a friend and would send a friend pictures of the slugs and all this stuff.

The friend came into her work and said, hey, I have something to tell you. This girl, I mean, it went so far as not only was he putting slugs in her meals and her own pet in her curry, but he went so far as to switch out a important heart medication with like salt. Oh my God. So he was causing life threatening. Yeah. Harm.

So I don't think I read this, but it goes on to say just found a jar of four slugs under the sink. My partner must have forgot about, I think they are dead. So can be old ones, but I feel physically sick. And then she actually posted a picture of the slugs. The slugs are the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. And he was putting those in her food. What the fuck?

This is not just compulsion, impulsion. This is like serial killer. This is serial killer. Yeah. So that was it. It was just that title. I feel physically sick. And then a picture of the slugs.

OP, please update us. Tell us you dumped him and went to a doctor. And OP goes, I have left him at the doctor now. It's very busy. So I haven't been seen yet. Oh, she's real, real uptight or real updates. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm just real time. She was very in it in the comments. Many are asking if she had gone to a doctor. She has and has revealed that he did more than feed the slugs. And then people are just like, please stop blaming yourself this and that. So in the comments somewhere on that post, OP says this, hi, he was diagnosed with ASPD yesterday and admitted everything to me and how I was his way of looking normal to the outside world.

He manipulated me by giving me everything I wanted as a bipolar disorder sufferer. Love, affection, compliments, ASPD for those that don't know is antisocial personality disorder. Got it. I actually didn't know. So it was an ask. He began testing me emotionally at first with cheating to see how I would react. But I forgave him and then began with food and stuff to see how long until I got sick.

I'm still baffled. The person I knew, I never really knew at all. He is a psychopath and he gives ASPD sufferers a bad name. He knew I was vulnerable due to my mental and physical illnesses. He became my carer, but was torturing me at the same time. And I was unaware of any of this. He rescued me from an abusive situation and then put me into a new one. That is how he works.

Oh, that is, that is so scary. That is actually a good point because red flag, if you are in a really abusive situation and you meet a guy who you feel like rescues you from that, be weary. That's all I got to say. Put your guard up. Put your guard up. And I get being in a bad situation and needing help, but someone coming in, playing a white night.

Yeah, like rescuing you and then instantly having romantic love bombing and all that. You're my soulmate. Yeah. Just be a little weary. Everything could be totally true and everything could be great, but it could be this slug situation. So keep your guard up. Keep your guard up so you don't eat a fucking slug. Yeah, this is so crazy.

So next post was titled, I'm struggling to eat fear of food slash no appetite. I recently left a weird relationship with where my partner was contaminating my food, etc. Anyways, ever since I've struggled to eat, I moved into a ground flat and sometimes I will find slugs around the house. I'm terrified of them. I keep throwing food away because I don't know what the slugs have gone on. I'm scared of getting sick.

I can't cope or breathe right now. I've tried everything to stop slugs getting in, copper tape, salt, non-toxic pellets, but they still somehow find their way into my flat. I feel like nature's tormenting me. Any advice, please? I have tried speaking to my doctor, but they won't really listen and the doctor I see said it was a good thing as I was overweight anyways. I was just discharged from the mental health team I was currently on.

The fuck? Did the doctor just say? Fuck that doctor. What the hell? Drop the clinic. Oh my god. Let's go. We ride at dawn.

I hate when medical professionals that are supposed to be super trustworthy say some bullshit like that. Absolute assholes. Absolute assholes. No one should get fat shamed at the doctor. Absolutely not. If anything, it's like he should be like, hey, there's healthy ways to do XYZ. That's great, healthy advice, but don't be like, oh, you can't eat because you were tormented

by slugs before. That's good. Good for you. Yeah. Be happy about that. What the fuck? I just watched an episode or a clip of ... It's the show about the two sisters, my 600-pound or 1,000-pound sisters or something.

It's about two sisters and they're very overweight and unhealthy. They were out of dietitian's office trying to get advice or get an opinion, whatever it was. The dietitian goes, how much water do you drink? They go, water? We don't drink water. We drink pop. Our mom told us water was bad.

Oh no. The dietitian was very surprised. You could tell she was surprised, but she didn't shame them. She was just like, oh, well, okay, well, you should be drinking water. Water is not bad for you. We need to get more water. It wasn't like ... I also love the pop reference and not soda. I know.

People are going to be confused. In Minnesota, we say pop instead of soda. Just so that we don't confuse people with thinking we're talking about Minnesota. Yeah. That was a joke. It was a really bad one. Yeah, I didn't get it. No.

We don't say soda because it sounds like Minnesota. Oh. People use soda as talking about Minnesota. You don't hear that? No. I've never heard that one. Minnesota as Minnesota? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Okay. It's a clothing brand. There we go. Yeah. I'm saying that's why we say pop, but it was a bad joke. I'm going to run that back. All right.

Let's move along. Next post is, I am alive. Hello, everyone. Sorry for those who I didn't get to message back. My messages have been so full. I am alive, but have been sick with coronavirus. Thank you for those who reached out to me. You all made me feel less alone.

I hope everyone is well. And then her account is super, super, super active. So as of yesterday, they're still commenting on different posts throughout Reddit, very engaged in other things and commenting their advice to try to help other people. So it's really great to see like they're good, very active in mental health communities. What it looks like based on her comments, very active on the glitch in the matrix community. Just all good things for her. So happy update, hopefully, you know, with a diagnosis, he can get the help he needs

because, you know, when you date someone, you're putting a lot of faith in them and you're trusting them. And he was able to play it off like he was a good guy taking care of her and lo and behold was poisoning her. So I'm not very familiar with that diagnosis, antisocial personality disorder. So I'm just going to do the Google definition because my brain won't do it justice. People with ASPD may not understand how to behave towards others. Their behavior is often disrespectful, manipulative or reckless.

Management of ASPD can include medication or psychotherapy. A lot of people show symptoms in childhood, but may not be diagnosed until adolescence or adulthood. They tend to lie, break laws, act impulsively. And this is WebMD. So obviously this may be the exception and not the rule, but lack regard for their own safety or the safety of others. So I can't believe I've never heard of this before.

People with it often struggle to develop or maintain meaningful relationships and they may cause emotional harm to their partners, but it's still possible for people with ASPD to feel love and empathy, often for a select few people such as children, partners or close family members. I don't know a lot about it either. It's not something I've really worked with. I've worked with mostly bipolar and schizophrenia. But that's that one.

Walk the dogs, school drop off, meetings from 10 to 3, take kids to soccer, then no time left for a jog. When everyone else is relying on you, it's easy to put your needs last. BetterHelp connects you with a licensed therapist online, so you can show up for yourself the way you do for others. Find more balance with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's better-h-e-l-p.com.

And then we are ending on for the update segment. These aren't the updates you told me to look into. These aren't the updates you told me to look into last night. Yeah, I did. I gave you Slug Boy. I said Slug Boy was with Drew. Slug Boy, that one, yes. And then the next one you should know.

So this story started with a post called, I keep meeting my birth mom, but she doesn't know it's me. And so this was a story about a person that was adopted and when they turned 18, ended up tracking down their birth mom or finding out where she was, and they're 24 now. And so they found out where their birth mom was working. And they would show up to this diner and eat at the diner and interact with their birth mom. And the birth mom obviously had no idea.

And so they wrote the post and it's like she knows me already because I'm there once or twice a week for the past three months or so. And always says hi with a big smile, but man, but man, if she only knew. And so people really, really encouraged him to tell her. People were like, I reconnected with my daughter I gave up for adoption. And I used to sit at the park she played at all the time hoping I would see her. And guess what? She actually played at that park and grew up five minutes down the road from me.

And so so many birth moms wrote in with their stories and we're encouraging him to reach out. He reached out. He showed up one night when she was leaving with the letter. And all he had to do was like pull up the letter and she like knew instantly and started crying. Oh, I'm gonna cry. They just like talked for hours.

She like opened the restaurant back up. They went in and talked for hours and they ended up like having plans to like have dinner and like get to know each other more. And so sweet. She ended up like contacting his birth father and was kind of going to help arrange a meet up. So the last we left off was people writing in and saying, please update us if you meet your bio dad like we want to know.

And he met his bio dad. So the title is met my biological dad for the first time ever. And I'm very happy about it. Lots of you asked and let you lots of you asked to let you know how it goes meaning my bio dad. And to say it was emotional is an understatement. I've been feeling so many things since this all happened. We met a few days ago was originally supposed to be almost two weeks ago, but ship kept

shit kept coming up work and then I got sick, not covered for days, but we made it happen. To be honest, this was more nervous for me because I didn't know anything about him with my bio mom. It was different because I watched her from afar and got to know her a little before it came out. I asked my bio mom if she could be there too, just because she knows him better. So it was the two of us waiting for him at this park. He was already crying before we even got to him.

This guy is strong too. So he pulled me in for the biggest bear hug and crying. He told me he wants me to know that they loved me so much and he loves me. I lost count how many times he'd come back in for one more hug. This definitely got to him and he kept saying thank you God a few times. Looking at my face, the feeling man, the feelings, dot, dot, dot. We had so many of them hearing him tell me how much they love me even back then it meant so much to me to hear that and not going to lie that had me holding him tight too.

I'm sure to everyone at the park it was weird seeing three people crying LOL. Now four. My bio dad said he cried so many times just driving over here. He didn't think he had any more tears until he saw us. When we were all sitting down it hit me that my bio mom was not lying when she said we look alike. Obviously he's older but holy shit the similarities. He brought gifts too which was a surprise.

It was really nice. He told me I didn't have to keep them if I don't want it but he felt weird not coming with anything and he's wanted to give this to me for a long time. One was a teddy bear holding a picture frame of him at the hospital holding me. He was 15 years old. It's crazy to realize that. And then the other thing was a journal. The journal thing was stuff he said he started writing me years after I was adopted.

He was in therapy and that helped him to cope thinking he would give them to me one day. His way of still feeling connected to me. I haven't read everything yet but some of the pages were his thoughts and like if he's talking to me. How he felt when they found out she was pregnant then the adoption. Everything going on in his mind when he first got to hold me as a baby. I didn't even know he was at the hospital too. It was not what I was expecting.

It really got me. I read some more of what he wrote last night that really got me crying. I'm sad to think how much this affected them emotionally for years. Also think it's pretty sweet he wanted to write this for me. We talked about his own life which was pretty hard. His struggles with home life and the feelings he had about giving me up. Then he wanted to know everything about me. Basically with the same questions my bio mom had.

I made sure they knew they made the right decision because my life was pretty great. He looked like he wanted to cry when he knew that because that's all they hoped for and it was something he always wondered about for years. My bio mom left a bit after. We were more comfortable so we could talk more in private once it didn't feel too awkward between us. From there he told me stories about how he met my bio mom. Sometimes he'd point out stuff he noticed about me that reminds him of her or me and

him having similar likes. Example I love eating mangoes. I can eat them all day and that's what I brought when we bought snacks at the park. He told me my bio mom was obsessed with mangoes since before she got pregnant. While pregnant she craved it even more. Just cool info to know even if it's random stuff LOL. It's still stuff we have in common and we both have lots. We both love hiking, playing pool.

He was a swimmer in college and I was on a swim team in high school. We both love rock music especially 90s. My bio dad was really open about sharing everything. Like he really was getting ready for this meeting. He hoped it would happen and he prayed every day to see me again because he had so many things he wanted to tell me. Overall really good first meeting. I'm glad how it went.

He's open to the idea of meeting my parents. After I told them about all of this because they definitely want to meet my bio parents again if I'm comfortable with that. Obviously my bio parents are too. Let's see what happens. I don't know how it's going to feel for me. They've met each other before I was even born but I never had them at the same place. So it'll be interesting LOL.

Me and my parents met up yesterday to have breakfast so I could tell them everything. My mom was so happy how it went. She actually cried too when I was telling them about both of their reactions. My dad was proud because he knew how hard it was the months after finding my bio mom and not really wanting to make the contact yet. I'm really happy to have their support because it's hard to not feel guilty about wanting to know more about my bio parents. They gave me a really good life so for a while it's felt like maybe to them I'm showing

them that wasn't good enough for me and I'd rather have my bio parents. But they told me many times they want me to do this for me and they know how much I love them and I really do. Finding them and meeting them was hard but it was so worth it to me and seeing their reactions made it feel even more worth it. I still can't believe it sometimes. I'm just realizing this turned into a long post. My bad.

Writing this has been therapeutic to be honest. Kind of thinking back to everything that's happened. Feeling really grateful. Again, I want to say thank you to everyone who has been on this journey with me. Everyone who sent me their own stories, their love, their encouragement. You guys have beautiful hearts and I'm happy I have somewhere to talk about all of this and receive so much love back. I just want to say to all the adopted kids out there I wish you guys luck and that you

find what you're looking for. It's not easy at all. I feel fortunate that things didn't go badly or that my bio parents aren't bad people. And to all the birth parents out there who made this sacrifice, thank you. Oh God, it's the last line that gets me! I was doing so good! I wasn't the entire way through. Oh no, there's one left I can't even get to.

It's because of you. There are kids out there like me who got to have a great life with loving parents. That's it. Oh my God, this is the most beautiful story that you have ever read on the show. I know. This is so, so remarkable. I was not prepared for that at all. My guy wasn't prepared to cry but it was just so sweet.

I think like hearing stories like that when it's just everybody all around is just a beautiful heart. The parents, the bio parents, the kid, it's just, yeah that really choked me up. It's amazing. This was so interesting just when you hear the similarities like the mango and stuff like that and like the 90s music that they like. I've told this on the show before but I had a CPA who's found out that he had a brother on the east coast and he also was a CPA and he also loved to write on his free time.

And so it's just really interesting to hear how the nature versus nurture and what kind of comes out when they have had nothing to do with each other yet they still have these similarities. It's really cool. I think it's like it's so much of both and hearing stories like that like the guy didn't even know his brother but yet they're the same type of people to pick the same type of career they both like to write and I think there was something about the pen with a felt pen.

They only write in felt pens. Yeah which is like he's like I don't know anyone who writes in a felt pen besides me. Like that's just so specific. It's like I think yeah okay you could be like oh it's chance but like no like I think there's so much that like our genes can encourage us to do and be but this was amazing. OP is like super responsive in all of the comments and stuff. It's just it's amazing. That's incredible.

I'm looking at one post and like OP goes off on someone they go I'm adopted and honestly everything you've said so far is total BS. What? Like they're commenting on another post on Reddit titled am I the asshole for refusing to let my ex visit my son anymore when I found out her husband wanted him to call him dad. And so OP is very very engaged. Of course. Yeah very engaged on Reddit.

This is like their actual account. I misunderstood. I thought you were saying that somebody commented on OP saying no no no I was like no no so this is just they're they're very engaged on Reddit so I could I could see an update coming down the road so if you do want to follow along on their journey and like see if any other updates come up the username is no dinner invite and you could always follow along on his journey. Beautiful.

Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. BEA. Beautiful. Okay. Moving on to the second half of this episode because it is titled updates and do overs and this is where things could get a little dicey for us and I don't know I'm like kicking

myself I'm like why did I offer this like why did I volunteer as tribute well because people requested it from you and then I also like a week ago I was texting Morgan and I was saying that there is this take that I had that I'm still kicking myself over. I think one of the things that I realized with this show is that I don't know if people forget but this is a blind reaction show. So sometimes initial reactions knee jerk reactions are coming from our own traumas and then when we take a step back look at it from another perspective then we might have a different take.

I also think with that too what's hard for me about these Reddit stories there's so much detail and so many issues with them and so I think you know stories that I think about where my take hasn't really been with what everyone else thinks or with the majority. I think a lot of times I pick out one problem of the whole problem because there's so many many problems in this whole of these stories and so I will pick out one problem and that's what I kind of fixate on while forgetting about the rest or not like acknowledging it in the way that I should agree and so it is hard it's a it's a lot of pressure coming on the show and like even doing the live premieres with people like depending on who you have

on and sitting next to you they might say something that then triggers a thought or a new opinion for you. So like even watching the live premieres that we do on YouTube with you guys I'll comment along and be like oh my god like yes that makes so much more sense or oh wow like yeah now that you mention it I think this it's just like feedback and learning and getting feedback or comments is like how we come to these conclusions or opinions so it's interesting I mean the whole premise of this show is yeah it's super interesting and that's one of the things too is that this topic that we decided to do but I was like I said I was texting

Morgan I was like there is this one take that I had that I just feel so guilty about because it haunts me. So the story Lauren is talking about it came from our holiday Reddit stories and it's the story about the mom who had a husband or a partner that stole her money or money that was being saved for her kids to have a good Christmas and he took it and gave it to his brother so that his brother could pay his baby mama child support and so I think you and what's interesting is you and Justin had a similar take but you were the one that got the flak for it.

It's because I went in and that's why after I said it's funny because I in my little rant I was like and I stand by that and then I listened back I was like no you don't take it back take it back bitch yeah but no it's it's because I went in like on one focus and that's the thing is that when we say for example when she says am I the asshole for yelling to my kids that their father ruined Christmas well she is specifically asking this one question where it's like was the dad an asshole absolutely like all these other dynamics what did she work her ass off was she a superhero mom trying to provide for her children and she had one moment of just like she could have maybe communicated a little bit better sure so like I fixated

on the question right and I felt so bad because within that I was like oh that's so selfish of her and I went in on that and the thing is is that I was reacting my knee jerk reaction was from my own inner child and my I've had these experiences when I was younger where I had adults yell at me or to me about another about another adult and it really hurt me a lot your two parents wasn't it your parents basically like talking shit about each other yeah and and I and I love them they're like they're amazing they're incredible and they've done so many amazing things parents parents are still human exactly and I don't think that I don't think this woman is a bad person at all I just think that in general there's

a better way because I know how much it hurt and affected me like and that was just from a very young age that I really was triggered by being yelled to about other people so so when it comes to this story and the mom and all of this like your opinion hasn't really changed well I mean what I would say is that my I know what I was trying to say but my the way you said the way I said it I think was really wrong because what the thing is is that this mother was under so much pressure she was trying to provide a beautiful Christmas for her children and I don't blame her at all for snapping and I don't think that she's a bad person the only reason that and I that's why I regret using the word selfish because

being a mother in itself all you do is be selfless all you do is think about another person and so I think that's where like it really like it killed me is that I was just going in on calling her selfish when it's just like no you're literally a selfless person you're all you're thinking about is giving your children like the happiest Christmas and you got wronged somebody robbed from you yeah and he really did like Rob your your children's Christmas so um but I think what I did is that I fixated on just like my own experience of being hurt whenever I was yelled to you about another adult when I was a kid and instead of like looking at the bigger picture and acknowledging that this mom is a bad ass

and that she should leave her husband now yeah I hope she did that was probably one we should have looked for an update I agree actually because I messaged her to I messaged and I was like hey is there any way we could um she probably hates me you know no but that's right we were talking about sending Christmas presents too yeah does that mean her children I know and even like I know obviously your your opinion is kind of like she shouldn't have said it it could have been better well I and honestly I think she's still should have told her children like your dad did this and I don't agree with it and this is why like we're not gonna have the same Christmas that I was planning on and I'm so sorry about

that I'm gonna do everything to still make it exciting and happy for you but this is gonna be between me and your dad I'm gonna figure it out and like that is like who knows how it came across when it was actually going down or like how the kids interpreted it so well they started crying and they ran to the room I don't remember did I have I have the story pulled up now um but like I said it doesn't make her a bad person at all I probably would have done the same fucking thing I'd be so pissed dealing with that so the kids came in and I just told them that unfortunately I can't afford Christmas this year and it's because their dad who took it away from them by taking the money I saved there was utter

silence and my husband glanced at me in disbelief he told the kids to go to their rooms and screamed asking what the fuck is wrong with me to spout this kind of bullshit in front of the kids oh wow okay I was wrong I was also that was the end of an episode and that's when we were drinking more so it is hard I drunker you get the little wilder like we all get definitely misinterpreted that story okay that's actually it's not that bad then that's no it's kind of what you yell yeah that's exactly what I said I thought she like screamed at them so basically I'm the asshole yes moral moral of the story is that Lauren is the asshole but I'm asshole we're just getting started this is the first this is the first one we

got but wrong I'm sorry you guys honestly though please forgive me I really did kick myself for that take but Lauren what's the name of the show it's two soft takes I know basically soft takes today no I just think it's interesting like and again this is why I didn't want to do this portion of the episode because some of my opinions really haven't changed and yes like maybe our opinions don't always change but when we we try not to get too in the weeds with comments because we want to keep it I don't want to let the comments affect my head going forward exactly like we want to still be ourselves as much as possible and we know that we're not always gonna you know ever fit everybody's liking and I think

what's good though is to like sometimes when we see what you guys say it's good to reflect like that's how we grow that's how we think and we're like okay I could see that perspective another one that's really ruffling feathers or like surprising people I should say because it was somewhat shocking take was another story from Teffy's episode and it was the story about the dad asking like am I the asshole for making my wife think our son was kidnapped and so this is a story that the dad had been with the mom and their little baby and they were driving to a subway and he was like pick the subway with the drive-thru because then you know we don't have to take the baby out of the car and blah blah blah and the wife turned to him

and said no like you can leave the baby in the car we're just running in quick it's fine and he confronted her and said don't leave the baby in the car not okay sure enough couple months or weeks later he's driving home and he happens to spot her car at a gas station and he's like oh great like I'll pull in get some snacks with them this will be good he walks past her car or up to her car and finds the baby in the backseat with the car unlock so he takes the baby out of the car puts the baby in his car and sits there and waits for his wife to come out of the store it takes about six minutes and she looks around starts absolutely panicking reaches for her phone and at that point he drives up opens the back you know back car door to show our child is right here

fight ensues she immediately goes on the defensive and starts playing the victim you shouldn't have done that to me blah blah blah that was that was abusive or whatever she says and he's like no like this is not okay I've told you before so he gets on Reddit to ask if he's an asshole majority said not the asshole majority were down for this update comes out he confronts her turns out she is struggling with some postpartum depression postpartum issues they're gonna get help until then she's not gonna be allowed to run errands or be left alone taking care of the baby so Tefi which I feel bad doing this one because she's not here to like explain her take or where her head was at but I will say after the episode stopped recording her manager was like Tefi like what

the fuck like no you can't you can't leave a baby in the car and Tefi literally said no I know I'd absolutely not you cannot leave a baby in the car but I think what she and again this is kind of what we said where we hear these stories and we pick out one part of it right she was upset over the treatment of the mom and again this is where people are back and forth where some people are no that was fair like she needed a harsher lesson because just talking to her hadn't worked but I think in her head she looks at that and it's like that's why she made the ultimatum comments she was like I would rather him give her an ultimatum and say you do this again we're getting divorced she would rather have that then again she's not here to defend herself so I'm speculating

which is probably unfair but I think she looked at it as that's not how two partners should treat each other and I would rather him give her an ultimatum and say you know what you do this one more time one more time and we are getting divorced versus kidnap the baby and make her panic and that's why she you know mentioned the comment about her cat being like I lose my cat for 15 minutes and I panic I think I put him in the dryer like I don't know I don't know where he is so I think she really was stuck on that I I'm back and forth on this one myself and I didn't really get to say much because off camera and something that got cut we were interrupted right before I read this story and we got told by someone hey you have five minutes left and then Tuffy's

got to go so and I also had seven other people in the room watching us it was probably the which we never do it's so funny there's no one here like we're sitting in my office in the middle of the day by ourselves like we don't have an audience so I think having guests come on it's really fun to get other takes but it's meant to be like a one-off like they just come on for one episode they're not meant to be recurring like Sarah shower was kind of an amazing thing that she did come on twice but guests are hard for me it's harder to like bicker or like kind of fight bancer back and forth with someone you don't know like I try to create a really comfortable environment for guests and that being said going forward I do want to find a way where I can still

articulate my takes and not feel like it's confrontation and not feel like it's gonna make the situation uncomfortable but I'm working on that I have a hard time with this because I just like want like I want to make friends with everyone that comes on and so it's like it's just it's hard for me sometimes I'm gonna work on it though I'll fucking fight the next guest don't you worry but so with this one me that being said I go back and forth I do think if like that's the way you want to handle things in your life it's justified like you're not the asshole for doing it a baby shouldn't be left in a fucking car unless it's like you're at the gas station pump pumping gas and you leave your baby in a car or like I guess if you're like a lot of

people in the comments were like if you're running in for 30 seconds that's one thing and you lock the door and blah blah blah but like obviously not on a hot day babies die really fast and hot cars cars get hot after like I don't know what the people were doing the study for dogs where they would like shut the car put all the windows up and within like three minutes the car was 120 degrees or something crazy like that so obviously not on hot days without AC like I guess like moral story don't leave your baby in the car but yeah I don't know but I go back and forth with how he handled it because immediately after this she's playing the victim she's being defensive she's like yeah did she learn anything because when we're like she's in fight or flight mode now she's not

in a rational place where she can intake information and be like you're right I fucked up I was wrong she's in fight or flight mode our brains and our cognitive thinking parts of our brain really shut down you're in survival mode at that point she's not even thinking clearly to interpret that information of what just really happened and so for me I feel that if he would have taken the baby out of the car she was in that store for six minutes I would have like parked the baby by the counter and watched her in the store and then when she got up there been like do you do you know how fucking easy it was for me to get our child out of the car and I've been sitting in here watching you lollygag around this store looking for a fucking snack for six minutes six minutes a person who

could have kidnapped our kid could be on a highway ten miles away by now yeah and he's gone and do that in front of people embarrass her yeah but she's not then immediately like panic mode fight or flight can't interpret information right and so I think that's like where my head's at like yeah not the asshole if that's how you want to do it but I think there's a more powerful way yeah I agree and like we've talked about that too with when we were talking about Will Smith like what Chris Rock said like it was he was being a asshole right but like Will Smith could there have been a better way that you addressed that probably and could it been more impactful could it have taught it would have embarrassed Chris Rockmore if he went up and said like some like witty little like

fuck you comment in the microphone and it would have instead now like Chris is like the victim right yeah so it's like but however we has a learning disorder oh yeah right like Chris exactly has a learning disorder that doesn't it doesn't allow him to tell when people are like upset with him he it's almost like a like similar to with autism where autism have like difficulty interpreting other emotions sometimes it's a similar thing where Chris Rock has a hard time telling if people are like actually mad at him right but there's a bunch of shit coming out with that and it's the whole situation is fucking messy yeah but uh but my my point in that is just that like knee-jerk reactions when you're panicked when you're in pain when you're whatever it is you

know like Will Smith he went up and slapped somebody in the face and then the next day he felt horrible and like came out with this apology because he's like violence is never what I want to never what I want no that was assault yeah so like with this this story specifically was the husband's way of doing things the best possible way no no it wasn't the best possible way but however people it is well and that's what I loved it what I was gonna say is that I I can't lie I would honestly if I was if my husband did that after I told him not to and then I saw that happen I would probably do the same thing but I like but like just I would be like he was probably fuming inside right like he's probably shaking like seeing that and then he takes the

baby and he's just like he can't even think of anything kind of like what you said fight or fight what she was what she responded to is how he was responding to seeing the baby so his his action wasn't the most like thought out best possible way to get to her maybe but I could see myself a hundred million percent doing that if my husband did that to me yeah I mean if you want like there's a bunch of ways to look at all of these issues if you're gonna look at it like black and white not the asshole if you're gonna look at it like an actual like real world person because nothing is ever black and white like there's a lot of gray area and yeah he's not wrong but could it have been better right right most things in life can be handled better yeah it's

really hard for us as humans to be able to just handle it perfectly like every time not gonna happen but um some of the comments like sam oyan said I agree with the dad a child safety is never negotiable um sony may comey sorry if I butcher anyone's names I keep I completely disagreed with teffy with the baby in the car story I don't even leave my dog in the car let alone baby I support the father on this uh k t even though the dad could and probably should have done it a little different or better ig go in with the baby or wait outside holding them something tells me the mom wouldn't have actually changed her behavior without feeling that fear because she acknowledged the risk and agreed to her husband that she wouldn't do it at the end of the day the dad is just

removing the child from an unsafe situation in any other scenario I hate quote teaching a lesson to people like this but a child's life was at risk and there was no sign of reasoning with her well and that's the thing is that like it's one mistake and you might your you might lose your child and that's terrifying so it's like you don't really have room to be like this is a little little bit of a learning lesson you know so yeah I it's it's a tough one it's a tough one there is one comment here that's not related to the story but someone goes I'm here to ask one more time for a pick me girls episode and me and Lauren were talking about this last night we were and I want you guys to comment on the youtube or our instagram posts and tell us

if we do a pick me girl episode and we're talking shit or like hot takes about pick me girls does that also make me pick me's because the whole point of a pick me girl is they put other girls down to pump themselves up so that's a question y'all need to answer honestly that and when Morgan said that I was like whoa because I'll see tiktoks making fun of pick me girls and then it's like wait a minute you're right yeah does that make you but but I think the pick me girl is a little bit more complex because it's like a girl who's like trying to be a cool girl and just like putting other girls down or making herself look better compared to other girls like that's kind of what the vibe is hey oh what's wrong I just got passed over for that big promotion

they told me I needed a graduate degree then you should do what I did and check out the university of northern Colorado who the University of northern Colorado their graduate school and extended campus offer over 100 flexible career focused graduate programs online and in person really the University of northern Colorado really the graduate school and extended campus at the University of northern Colorado so the next story on the list that I have came from a marriage episode with my brother and sister-in-law and the story that we got wrong was a story about a man who he wrote into the subreddit surviving infidelity and it was a story about him and his fiance and the fiance ended up having a male stripper at her bachelorette party

unbeknownst to her like the friends planned it fiance didn't know however prior to that night the fiance and the man that wrote in had already set a boundary no strippers we're not going to do strippers it's it's a boundary for us it's a it's a line and so he got told by the boyfriend of one of the girls so like the fiance had a girlfriend girlfriend told her boyfriend what they were planning to do the boyfriend told the fiance but he didn't say anything about it and so we kind of got lost in the sauce of this one like quite a bit like me probably specifically but I think what a lot of people are upset with is the fact that he had a boundary and the boundary was crossed and we kind of like didn't

give a fuck about that because what I fixated on in this story is the fact that he considered a like a stripper at her bachelorette party cheating and so for me that's like what I kind of went it on I think like my opinion has like grown to like recognize the whole story and not just that part so like yeah if that's a boundary for him that's that's fucked up that's a boundary if she truly didn't know that that that stripper was going to be there that's shitty yeah because her friend sabotaged her totally and if she did know then that's even shittier because she had the boundary but I'm gonna give her the benefit of the doubt and say she was completely surprised she wasn't the one that told him he got told by again the boyfriend

that was at his bachelor party because the one of her friends sent him a picture of the strip dance and the dick being close to her face which is shitty that person would not be my friend anymore yeah but she wasn't even the one that got the chance to tell him which again sucks but I don't think that says anything about her so much like I feel like she maybe would have told him but he found out before she even had the chance to yeah I agree I think that um it's it was just a shitty situation how it how it played out especially because they had a conversation beforehand no strippers but like you said if the girl didn't know that the stripper was going to be there and they show up with like was she gonna lock herself in a room like no you're just gonna hang

out with your friends like have fun it doesn't mean anything you're not attracted to this person or maybe you are but like assuming that like you don't want to pursue a romantic relationship with this person um however going back to boundaries I do think that that is one thing that's interesting is that with romantic relationships it is it is a social construct in the terms of like what the terms are right yeah so it's so different it's so different for everyone yeah so for some people looking at porn in a in a romantic relationship is cheating and that is a conversation that they should have in the very beginning and then move forward and if they both agree that's great if two people love to have three sums they love to go to sex parties and hook up with a bunch

of different people and they still are romantically in love with each other and they agree upon that in the beginning of the relationship that's not cheating right so it's like it's all about like the terms that you have with your partner and so if they discuss beforehand strippers equals cheating um then it's like yeah he he thinks that she's cheating but at the same time she didn't have a say in this she didn't go to a strip club on her own and that's what's not fair to her yeah I would agree with that unless she was like it's strippers and like then that's shitty yeah but yeah no I think there's again there's so much to unpack with these problems so if you're gonna like try to like separate it or like understand this thing overall yes wrong you set a boundary with your partner

it got crossed is crossed unfortunately maybe was her fault maybe not her fault but boundary was crossed and you have a right to be upset you're entitled to your feelings on that however again kind of with what you said some people think porn's cheating some people think strip clubs are cheating if he's gonna look at a stripper as cheating that's where I have to like that's where I'm still on my take I don't think going to a strip club or having a stripper at your bachelorette or bachelor party is automatically cheating if he views it as that he's entitled to that he can feel however he wants to feel I mean me and Justin you and Alejandra we just went to a strip club in Austin Texas when we were there performing a live show shout out the girl yes one of the guys

this is the craziest experience we've ever had we've ever had it was amazing and hello out there I don't want to give your name and like put you on the spot but so we're sitting at the strip club it was Justin's first time he was so excited I was so excited for him it was just like a magical like I love it I don't look at it I don't I guess like my thought processes of it these women are so talented that like the athleticism that they have to have to do this like I look at it as like I'm will go into a Cirque de Soleil show and like some people go a little further and they get private lab dances but if you're just sitting around the stage watching the main show it feels like Cirque de Soleil to me my head I don't know and so we're sitting there it's like

Alejandra me Justin I think you were up like grabbing a drink or doing something and so all of a sudden the dancer changes and she's dancing and she looks at Alejandra and she goes oh my god are you Alejandra from Two Hot Takes? Alejandra like the way she said it she was still twerking as she moved over to the stage she was dancing it was incredible and then she looks at me and she's like oh my god Morgan hi and then her head finally goes to Justin she's like Justin like oh my god like I watch I listen to father knows something too like I love you guys and so it was just like this what are the chances moment and then they brought her over after her dance they brought her over to me and she goes Lauren I go you know my name and they go she knows all of our names I was

like oh my god yeah we got a picture together after and I got to ask like all of our crazy questions about like strip clubs and like what it's like dancing and stuff like that so it was honestly the coolest I haven't been to that many strip clubs it is the coolest one that I've been to it was so cool the manager um she handed me her business card and she's like come back anytime anytime we'd love to have you bring all your friends yeah it was it was really fun but I think there were people in the comments that were like me and my partner have a solid boundary we don't go to strip clubs and that's fair however you want your relationship to dynamic to be that's how it should be yeah I'm not the one in the relationship with your with you and your

partner yeah so what I at the end of the day what I think about strip clubs or what I say doesn't really fucking matter no doesn't matter so this guy yeah a boundary was crossed and that's sad and I hope he can get over it because it's an unfortunate situation and yeah I would even I would be sad if he let that be the reason that he stopped the marriage like that would make me sad yeah I just look at it as like you're I would be pissed too to be honest though if I was him and my and my uh fiance did that I would be pissed yeah like I I wouldn't be like you cheated on me but that's just again my own personal opinion and that's how you view like whatever yeah I think it there's a fine line though and it depends on like what happens like

are you going to a strip club and just getting a dance like having someone shake their ass in your face yeah or does it go further yeah like and that's where again people need to have these conversations because it's like if you got if you if a guy like if Justin went to a strip club and got a blowjob from someone yeah that that'd be cheating suck on a titty cheating yeah like you can't put any body parts of theirs in your mouth yeah and vice versa right I agree like it's gotta be like it's gotta be something I don't want to say it's gotta be something you could do with oven mitts on and like because you could probably still do a blowjob with oven mitts on but I'm trying to think of a way where it's like it's it's just a dance yeah just a dance like we we both

don't see it as cheating but like some people do some people do yeah totally 100% and like I said I'd be fucking pissed if I if that was if I was in that situation I'm mad remit beforehand yeah I'd be pissed there is another story I was actually over it yeah there's another story I was actually gonna pull up um and it was oh god what folder do I have it in it's titled um my groom's party doesn't want me to tell my significant other that they're planning a private bachelor party for me that involves strippers and so it's a really cool story about this guy who's like going back and forth his his um his fiance's stepdad is helping plan his bachelor party and they want to do strippers and like all this crazy shit and he feels uneasy about it and he's like I don't know how she would

view it I they're telling me not to tell her I should probably tell her so he ends up not telling her and says you know what guys let's just cancel the whole like no strippers let's just cancel that and so um he ends up something happens where he does end up telling her but he says like I canceled it I didn't know how you'd feel and she goes I I kind of knew about it like no go go ahead like go ahead and so he calls his stepdad future stepdad back up and he goes okay it's back on because his wife was like yeah have strippers like absolutely you should this sounds like a good time for you guys so moral of the story a boundary is a boundary yeah you're entitled to your feelings yeah but talk to your partner about all of these potentials because I think it's good to have an understanding

of where you guys are at in your relationship and what are hard lines for you before there's even an opportunity for something like this to happen yeah and then there's no argument after where it's like I didn't know how you'd feel blah blah blah blah because you already had that conversation so I actually there is a story one of my friends friends um had this situation happened where they were going to go to a wedding and the bachelor party was like a few days before the wedding or something or like a weekend before the wedding and basically the guy was marrying a very like a virgin very very christian woman and um he had this like past of just kind of like being wild she obviously was a virgin so didn't hook up with anyone um and during his bachelor party

he invited a bunch of guys who also had wives or who had fiancees like just like they were in committed relationships right he himself got strippers to his own bachelor party and he ended up taking one into the back room oh yeah and all of his friends were like what the fuck bro so anyway they outed him they went to his fiance and they were like he brought this girl into the back room like what do you think like yeah and at that point if it's not if it's a group activity getting a dance a little different when you take someone off to the back room absolutely not even if they just even if they did just dance which I don't agree I don't I don't I doubt that they did just dance but even so that's just still you're crossing a line

especially when you're dating someone who you know is like that is so far from what she would be okay with you know that's so far from yeah and so anyway um they his friends aren't friends with him anymore they were like they were like that was shitty that was crossing the line and they told his fiance his fiance broke off the wedding a weekend prior my god wild that's crazy yeah be an idiot at a bachelor and bachelorette party moral of the story uh what is left on our little list because I know you gotta get to work here shortly so what's left on our list maybe we can just like rapid fire the thought of my son's growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes ashtrays and lighters I started exercising

instead of smoking staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key I kept on trying learned something each time do whatever it takes no matter how many times it takes we did it so can you for free and confidential help call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit waytoquit.org developed by cdc what's left on our little list what's left what's left there is okay there's either like the surrogate one wait yeah we didn't go through that one no this is the do-over section of it um I know but you you got in trouble oh you got people angry about the um I know god it was another episode with my brother I can't do anymore with Matt uh I forget what it was but it was like um I know oh because you said that the guys should suck it up and people are really mad about that comment

yeah they didn't like to suck it up I use suck it up a lot I don't mean it like as literally as when it comes out of my mouth so the story that we're talking about here is from the siblings episode and it's a story about a man who has a sister that is gay and his sister and her wife wanted to have a baby and so the sister asked him hey we're going to use my partner's egg can would you be down to donate some sperm so we can have a child that is parts of both of us and he goes yeah of course like no problem so he donates his sperm to his sister the wife gets inseminated with her egg and the brother's sperm they have a beautiful baby they want another child so the sister asked him again hey we're thinking about having another

child will you donate your sperm and he goes yeah no issue but the wife had problems with the birth and was not able to carry the next child and so it was still going to be the wife's egg and the brother's sperm and the sister would carry it so that's where the brother was like it feels wrong it feels really icky I don't want to have to tell people that my sister is carrying my baby again it's not your baby but he was tripped up about that yeah and so I said like first I did say obviously it's his body it's his choice I did say that you guys I just said I was like I think he should suck it up and like get over his weird thing he has in his head where it's his sister carrying his baby you're offering to give your sperm to that couple it's not your

baby you don't look at your niece or nephew that you have right now as your child Phoebe did that for her brother yeah and friends yeah well and so what came up and this comes up with a lot of the surrogate stories this is something that happens a lot in the lgbtq plus community and just because you're a part of that lgbtq plus community doesn't make you any less like worthy of having a child or any less likely to want a child so it's very common for that community use surrogates and sperm donors and things like that and so obviously if that's a boundary for him don't do it don't do it but I think it would be I get what you're saying it'd be nice if he did like it would be convenient for everyone and like and it is something where it's like it seems he

doesn't have a problem with it so it seems because he already did it but he's just getting more in his head about it being gross that his sister is carrying his like sperm which like I mean I don't I mean it is it is a unique it's it is unique so like I don't blame him for being like it makes me feel kind of weird but but at the end of the day wow I haven't said that one in a while um at the end of the day it's his choice it's his choice yeah it's like he has every right to say no if it makes him feel uncomfortable it's it's like it's still like his DNA being passed down you know absolutely and I wasn't discrediting the fact that it's his choice I just think he's being silly and I should have I should have used like I think he's being silly I think he's being goofy instead

of saying suck it up but I do like I think he's being a little silly because there's so many stories about people's moms that have to be their surrogate like I don't know what is up with my Instagram like discover page but I literally just saw a post recently about this girl and her mom was her surrogate and it's like well technically like for her her husband's jizz is in her mom oh my god going back to explore pages by the way this guy asked for my Instagram the other day and I and I he like gave me his phone and I went and typed it in and it was on like the discover explore page yeah all butts all butts yeah you know what he's searching for I was like wow I couldn't not call him out I did and he's like I don't know how that happens oh yeah yeah so again we're it's kind of

that same argument like it's his boundary yeah he's entitled to it yeah and that's that and people like I think people were also commenting like just because he did it once doesn't mean he has to do it again and again yeah no absolutely right it's his choice right but is he being silly in his brain yeah maybe the last one we have for this whole episode was on my dad's uh my dad's episode it was a dad's and father-in-law story one and it was a story about a man who was already planning on getting married his invitations had been sent out and then low and behold it turns out he has a son the mom had been hiding it from him for however long and he was trying to determine if he would be the asshole if he did not invite his son to his wedding

and so my dad and I had the opinion that he should invite the son to the wedding and we felt it was wrong not to I don't think my opinion has changed on this one but I might be able to shed some light like where I kind of came from um I was looking at the timeline for this one and he was writing in months and months before his wedding like there was I think a six month or seven month gap before his wedding was even about to occur and so a lot of people in the comments were like no that's not fair it's not a great first meeting it's not a great first meeting to do at a wedding and stuff like that but in my head I was thinking but it wouldn't be the first meeting he's got seven months or whatever

the gap was to go get lunch hang out get to know his son and then have him at the wedding like there's enough time there where he has the enough time to build a relationship with his kid yeah and then invite him yeah and and I and also it's like I know because I reviewed it as well and I noticed that people were like he just doesn't like you can't just like tell him that he's a dad and he turns into a great dad overnight you know like it's he didn't know and um I totally feel for that too like that's that's a hard place for that man to be it's just like he had no idea and now he's a father like how do I act like a good father but like I mean you guys if you are watching youtube you saw I was fucking crying at that story that we had about this guy meeting his

bio parents and I just think that for me it's like it's really really touching when you hear stories like that when it's like they didn't know each other but they are going to give them love right and so I think that like in that story it would have been really beautiful to hear that he was just like wow like I never I can't believe I didn't know you like I just want to show you love and like I want you to feel included in everything and that would be this like beautiful fairy tale for like me and Morgan I think right and I think that's what like I was hoping for with this story I wasn't hoping for a man that I was trying to justify leaving his kid out and I think like we kind of talked about it last night you know prepping for this episode

I look at a lot of these as the long game this the wedding is the short game that's one day of your life that's it and then it's over but you now have this son and you're going to have this son for the next 40 years and how solid of a start do you want to have for your relationship and it's your wedding it's your day you get to pick the guest list so pop off if that's you know do whatever you want but this is your kid for life and I look at you know things that have hurt me as a child that my parents have done and excluded me from or just whatever that's happened during my life and I think this is a moment that can be avoided and it's a moment that's going to set you up to have start having a really solid relationship with your kid for the next 40 years he's not going

away he's your kid and what relationship you have with him is determined by you he's trying he's reaching out he's looking for you to be his dad he's hoping to be invited he asked to be invited so for me it just felt so not fairytale and just disheartening and no like one of the top comments is exactly what you said you can't just expect him to be a dad automatically no you can't but you just hope you hope you hope that you know he'd want to like bring a kid under his arm and I think you know my dad my dad is not my dad Jerry is not my biological dad Jerry took me and took me on out of the goodness of his heart he didn't have to he doesn't have to be my dad but he did it and so I think my personal experiences and his as well really shaped our opinion on that

one because we just see as like life is too short to not like start that relationship like you just found out like start working on it go out to lunch you got months before the wedding and I'm sure there's a co-worker or someone that like someone's not gonna show up on the day you know that like people get sick all the time especially with COVID someone's gonna be sick there's gonna be a spot yeah or pull up one chair like it'll be okay but if that's his wedding list and that's his invite list then that's that that's that but I and I think that you and I both have so much respect for parents caretakers anyone who is just raising a child and that's that's kind of that plays in to our feelings about this it's like it's it's so beautiful because for the most part it's like

parents are superheroes you know like they like I was saying earlier they spend every single second of their day thinking about another human yeah and so when we hear stories like this it's just it makes us a little sad well and there's one comment here from Russ Sreen Russ Sreen I believe is how you pronounce your name I don't think the dad who couldn't invite his biological son was an asshole I think his son's biological mom and the grandmother were assholes for treating him like that when he was so desperate to be present in his son's life way before they even knew it was his which I think this is one of those like this isn't a black and white situation I don't think he's the asshole and if I called him the asshole in that story I do take it back like it's his

choice however he wants to do it is not the asshole for his choices right not the asshole mom and grandma assholes they manipulated the situation and hid this hid this child from him they're definitely assholes but I do think he's not handling it in the best way he could not the asshole because however he wants to handle his day it's his day but again could it be handled better and I think yes could it have been a story that made me and morgan cry yeah yeah it could have you ruined it happiness you ruined it a fairy tale we were looking for a fairy tale we're looking for one I mean like like we said we are all human and that's that's okay we all have our boundaries we all have our choices we can always there's always

a way to handle something better it seems you know absolutely so and I mean look at like how people build Ikea furniture let's break it down on a simple level there's a right way and uh a hundred other ways that are harder to build to build Ikea furniture wow beautiful analogy and that's how we handle life that's how we handle life there's sometimes there's not even right ways morgan loves going to Ikea fucking love Ikea I could live there I could with the Swedish meatballs oh yeah the cookies um Swedish fish yep but this was an interesting one I'm sorry if you hate us or like I don't know I'd like to have people who like disagreed on those stories maybe comment and like see if we've evolved or like evolved on like where we were coming from

in a good way I should say I don't know it's complicated opinions are hard yeah especially when you put them online and they're cemented there yeah right I I know why do we do this online why dangerous online too and that's why I try not to look at comments just because even if there's a million great ones and there's one mean one like it just doesn't feel good it doesn't feel good to have people criticize you especially when we're so self-critical ourselves like just as as humans like we are very self-critical I fucking am so self-critical one time I got in trouble at work when I was in college I did something wrong it like cost my company like $2,000 and I the my colleague told me to go talk to the manager and he was like a

brother and he's like was always getting in trouble and he was like haha you're gonna get so in trouble by our boss and I go in there and I started bawling I was like I'm so sorry Denisha I like I can't believe I did this like what can I do to like make it better like just let me know what is my punishment like little and she was like oh my god you need a hug and she gave me a hug and she's like you are punishing yourself enough I'm not gonna say one more word and we do I think that's leaving us after like some of these things where we're just like oh god we really kind of missed it or like just didn't articulate our feelings well enough to have other people yeah understand them in the way that our brains are because our brains are working

a thousand miles per hour and our mouths can only keep up so much yeah well and the one I know that you've talked on the show about dealing with ADHD and it's rough I don't think I've said anything I mostly because I usually am a little bit more private about yeah that for some reason I was diagnosed with ADD when I was 12 and I was really shameful and embarrassed and it was in denial um I would throw my medication away every single morning and I was just like I'm a normal kid um but it's like as you know as I've started to learn more about it even just stuff on TikTok I'm it's like I know that I deal with ADD and it's like it comes out in in conversations sometimes like sometimes it's like I'm trying to articulate something and it's just it's not it's

not happening the way that I wanted to um so or like we said with that story I thought that story was different the the Christmas story yeah and and then you reread it to me and I'm like well fuck I'm the asshole why'd I even react like that yeah um but that is it for updates and do-overs yeah so updates were good if you guys liked it it was a little different of an episode but I'm scared yeah but it's okay we have each other I love you I love you okay well that is it so until next time until next time bye guys bye the thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes ashtrays and lighters I started exercising instead

of smoking staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key I kept on trying learn something each time do whatever it takes no matter how many times it takes we did it so can you for free and confidential help call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit waytoquit.org developed by CDC the makers of bonafloor cleaner now introduce bono all-purpose cleaners our plant based all-purpose cleaners will give your cabinets counters and cooktops the same streak free shine as your beautiful bono floors for a whole home elevation new bono all-purpose cleaners