Two Hot Takes - 68: Pick Mes Versus Haters..

Episode Date: June 2, 2022

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest Lauren! This episode features a variety of stories that explore the concept of Pick Mes. Are they are pick me, or are people just being haters? What do you think.. Partners: Warby Parker: Warbyparker.com/THT Obe Fitness: ObeFitness.com Code THT Our SubReddit to Submit Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Merch: https://fanjoy.co/collections/twohottakes Get your own "What's in the Box?!" at https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes

Gotta walk the dogs, school drop off, meetings from 10-3, take kids to soccer practice, then… there goes the extra time for a jog. That's okay. Maybe next week. When everyone else relies on you, it's easy to put your needs last. Therapy is a dedicated time to focus on what you need to be happy. So you can show up for yourself the way you do for others. BetterHelp offers convenient online therapy on your schedule.

It's the same professional service you'd get from an in-person therapist, but with the option to communicate when and how you want, by chat, phone, or video call. Go to their site and fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and switch therapists any time for no additional charge. Find more balance with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHELP.com I do share a little bit about what's inside just so you know before you buy

because I don't want anyone to feel like they're wasting money or getting things they don't like, but I really love everything inside of them and I only have a limited number. I'm only doing 100 of these boxes. I'm so excited for you guys to get these. There are some listeners that have gotten theirs already. I'll include some screenshots and feedback, but I'm really, really excited about this. Okay, now enjoy the episode. It is a bit more talky than usual, but quality conversation to be had about picmese.

If you're watching along with us, you'll notice I have a cowboy hat on to start because this one is going to be rowdy. Woof. Woof is right. I think this is going to be an interesting dialogue. As you guys can read from the title, today's episode is picmese. Guys, girls, all the above. There's a lot of picmese out there in this world,

but it has led to some really interesting conversations just between Lauren and I, which is leading me to believe this is going to be a rabbit hole of an episode. Ooh, I didn't think about that, but this is true. She told me how many hours ago that we're doing the picmese episode. I told you yesterday. Oh, you did tell me yesterday. Well, that was still a certain amount of hours ago, but at least 24. But regardless, within the past 24 hours, all we've been talking about is the concept of picmese.

It is a crazy, crazy concept, and I don't know where I feel on it. We ended up doing some research, so a listener, thank you, thank you, thank you, from last week, sent us in a video from a creator. I'll link it in the description, but the username is measaurus is her username on YouTube, and so she has a video talking about picmese and it's titled, Nothing is Wrong with Being a Picme Girl LOL. That led us to this deeper conversation of picmese and what it really looks like, the implications of a picme, and we got some crazy Reddit stories

and a few listener write-ins that are bringing the heat. I'm excited. Giddy up, bitches. Giddy up. It's the first time I haven't said let's dive in. So, I really wasn't going to do this episode until something happened to me. I know, I was surprised when you said you wanted to do it. Well, I think that's why I wasn't really sure that it was real.

Yeah, and then today you were like, we're doing it. I was like, really? Yeah, I know. I went back and forth on it because I'm like, I don't know if there's enough there to do an episode. I don't know if it would be like a fun episode. I don't know if people would be into it. It was kind of like all the above on my brain. Did you see somebody on Instagram was just like, there's not really much to it.

Girl puts another girl down, the end, LOL. And it can be that simple, but it also can have a lot more to it too. So, the whole reason I was really like, well fuck, you got me heated now. Someone commented on one of our YouTube, the YouTube video I should say from updates and do-overs. And so, someone commented on that video and they basically said, so I don't want to call this person out, but this is kind of the comment that like, it made me want to do a pick me episode. Because it was like, I think as a woman and growing up as a girl, like you have these instances where you like certain things and people are automatically like,

oh, you're doing, you like those things because you're trying to impress boys or whatever. And like, so just kind of annoyed me because that's something I've always faced with like liking sports. Like I genuinely like sports. I'm not that passionate about strip clubs. But someone commented and they go- Morgan's favorite sport. Going to strip clubs. Yeah.

But I mean, it is a good time. Morgan, I love you. I love your episodes. I especially love Lauren. But if you're thinking about doing an episode on pick me girls, dot, dot, dot, to say that going to a strip club is not automatically cheating is a bit pick me. If you like strippers, fine. If you're okay with Justin liking them, fine.

But a lot of people don't understand the desire to physically go somewhere and look at another naked woman for sexual gratification. You might be super liberal about it. But some people think that nudity and sexuality stays between two people and you can't get defensive about your take if people question your views on that. And I think that's like fine. Like you, I'm not expecting people to get on board with me. Like I just thought that was interesting because just because someone likes something

and you can't understand it doesn't automatically like make them a pick me or it doesn't automatically make it like they're liking that thing for the benefit of other people, like albeit men because pick me is our traditionally, it's been cast as females traditionally. But we know that's not the case. Yeah. Yeah. And with that story too.

So with strip clubs, I'm actually, I would not want that in my relationship. I'm a little bit different than you. And that's fine. Like I teach their own. Yeah. Teach their own. We say it all the time on the show. And that's the thing is that we were talking about it.

I just because I wouldn't view it as cheating necessarily, like if, if my significant other's friends bombarded him with a stripper on our, on our bachelor bachelor at night, that doesn't mean that I wouldn't be really mad. And that doesn't mean that I'm like okay with it in our relationship, especially like if they were to go on their own. But like Morgan's view is completely different. And that's completely fine. Maybe if she had a boyfriend who was like feigning to go to the strip clubs,

then it would be different. But like Justin doesn't give a shit at all. So it's just kind of like funny. They went for the first time together and Morgan's like, yay, like it's just so much more lighthearted in their relationship. I took him for his first time. Yeah. Yeah.

What did I say? We went to the first time together. I'm, I'm not a first timer. Yes. Okay. I'm very proud. She earned her stripes folks. No, and I just think that's like two of like, we all have pick me moments.

We all have been a pick me at some point because I think we're all striving to fit in. We're all trying to feel included or recognized or like special. And if you have to like, I like sparks in a like a non like truthful way to make yourself feel like that that's fine. The problem with pick me is when it encroaches on someone else and it makes someone else feel bad and it turns into bullying or belittling someone else. If you want to pretend you like shit you don't like to impress someone, go the fuck for it. But you have to draw the line of the pick me situation when it starts hurting other people.

And then I think there's also reverse too. We were talking about that. So when I was little, I actually was on a church retreat and I was probably like 14 years old. This actually made me feel so bad because it was my youth pastor and I thought she was so cool. Like I looked up to her, I thought she was so kind and loving and accepting. We were in a pool. One, we had to wear one pieces like completely cover ourselves. And two, there was a diving board there and the guys were doing backflips off of the diving board.

I wanted to do a backflip off the diving board not to impress the guys, but because it's fun because I knew how to. Yeah. So I go up there and I do a backflip on the diving board. And then my friends said that the youth pastor came up to them and said, wow, look at Lauren. She is trying so hard to impress the boys. Wow. How old were you? 14.

Like you're just a kid. And my friends told me that afterwards and I just couldn't look at her the same. I was like, that's so hurtful. Like I genuinely was just having fun and now I feel insecure about like doing something to have fun. What happened to thou shall not judge others. Right? It was like all like holy and above and like it like hurts so bad. But it was like at the time I didn't realize why it hurt, but now I realize it was like she was.

Yeah. She was calling me a pick me girl and I was just trying to have fun on the back. Anyway, I know we've all been there. I mean, I'm Lauren asked, she's like, do you have any moments you can directly remember? And I'm like, no, but like I guarantee I've been there and it's just it's something I think we all grow through. I think me, myself and I at least, I think internalized misogyny is something like we all have to kind of deal with and like address in our own way. I mean, there's certain instances in my head where I've been like, oh wait, okay, this isn't. No, no, no, no, no, no, like don't think this way.

Like that's actually like really misogynistic. And so I think that's like the fine line too where it's like, are they being a pick me? Are they doing things they genuinely like? Are you dealing with internalized misogyny? And that's why you think they're being a pick me. And so I think the theme that I was thinking of like calling this today and I don't know if the stories even fit this anymore, but a thought that like resonated in my head when I read that comment about me, I was like, am I a pick me or are you a hater? And that's just like, again, like I, the user, like I'm not trying to call you out.

I'm just using it as an example. And let's see how these stories did today. Okay, I'm excited. Here we go. So we're starting off with a boy story because boys are included in this as well. Love it. Gotta walk the dogs, school drop off, meetings from 10 to 3, take kids to soccer practice, then there goes the extra time for a jog. That's okay.

Maybe next week. When everyone else relies on you, it's easy to put your needs last. Therapy is a dedicated time to focus on what you need to be happy. So you can show up for yourself the way you do for others. BetterHelp offers convenient online therapy on your schedule. It's the same professional service you'd get from an in-person therapist, but with the option to communicate when and how you want. By chat, phone, or video call. Go to their site and fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge.

Find more balance with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHELP.com. Am I the asshole for joking about my friend's girlfriend even though he's touchy about it? Me and my friend group are pretty standard, all 20-25 male college kids. We play around and make jokes about each other and it's all in good fun. That being said, it's still pretty necessary for us to be thick-skinned. One of us, let's call him E, male 21, has been dating this girl J, female 21, since our senior year of high school.

But here's the thing, E is a pretty attractive guy, maybe like an 8 or 9. In the nicest way, J is sitting at like a solid 3 or 4. This, along with the fact that E is funny and outgoing and J is super quiet and never really talks to anybody, spawned a lot of jokes among our friend group that they don't belong together and that E could do way better. He always seemed a little bit put off by the jokes so out of respect for him, we stopped telling the jokes in front of him and saved it for days he wasn't around. It bugged me though, the way we could all make jokes about each other and poke fun at each other and E was going to be a buzz kill about the girl he was seeing. Unfortunately, this culminated in a night of drinking and fun at one of the boys' house when I found our old yearbook and pointed to her picture and asked the boys whether E had brain damage.

Why would he shoot down multiple girls who were way sexier for J? He was sitting right there, he just got up and left the house without talking to anybody. We didn't hear from him for a couple of weeks. I tried to explain that it was just jokes that we were all asked for sometimes and that we didn't really mean any of it. He didn't respond to my texts though. When E finally reached out to us, it was to tell us that he didn't want to talk to us any longer, that he was planning on proposing to her and that we shouldn't be surprised if we didn't get invited to their wedding. This was, of course, a wake-up call to the group and started an argument.

Should we have kept our jokes to ourselves or was E being too touchy? The whole group has always made jokes at each other's expense when it comes to weight or height or whatever and it's never been an issue before. So it kind of pisses me off that he's so tense about this. So, am I the asshole? Yes. Yes, you are the asshole. Absolutely.

Oh, God. How old is this kid? 20 to 25. Oh, that scares me. E is 21, his girlfriend, 21. So, I mean, a little old to be acting like this, but this is a trend. I found another post that was from people even older. It was from men, boys, in their 30s.

And the wife came down, said hi, went upstairs to go do something and they were making fun of the wife and they literally go, one of the guys goes, I thought you walked in with your mom when you came down the stairs. And it's like, that's his fucking wife. Those are not funny jokes. Why does anyone think that's funny? You're not with that person. You're not fucking that person.

You're not loving that person. Why does it fucking matter? This guy at the beginning of this being like, oh, he's pretty attractive. He's an eight or nine. He's also super funny and outgoing. Do you like him? Do you want to date him instead of this girl? Like, where the fuck is this coming from?

And also, it's so different when you guys are, I mean, even so, he said that they're making fun of each other for weight and height, whatever. Sure, I still think that's kind of unnecessary, but if that's what you guys want to do, go for it. When it comes to you're making fun of somebody else's somebody, that is a different story. And it's funny that you bring this story up today because today, when I was with one of my guy friends.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. He was, well, he was telling me how he was dating this girl and that she was pretty awful to him. And he started noticing it more and more, but just kept on like pushing through. And then she started being really awful to his friends and his family. And that's when he was like, this is enough. I'm dating her and if I want to put up with all of her bullshit

in the way she treats me, that's on me. The minute she brings it on my friends and my family, they didn't sign up for this. I'm not going to put them through this anymore. I'm so done. And that just kind of is what I thought of when I heard this story because this guy is not, they're not making fun of the guy. They're making fun of the guy's girlfriend.

Yeah, it's different. It's different. It's completely different. Like if he's used to getting made fun of and he can handle that, cool. But like when you bring it to another person that he loves and care about, that's not there for that. That's unfair. Yeah.

Like you don't make fun of people behind their back and I don't know. Ugh. Yeah. You're the asshole. It's just icky. And so I think like pick me is typically associated with pick me girl. And so you were like, when you came over today, you were first like, well, like what is a pick me guy?

Like what would that look like? And I think it's a guy who like makes fun of his significant other or makes jokes at the expense of others, even other guys to make himself look better. There can be pick me guys. There can be pick me anyone, pick me people. It's like, it's just, it's a thing. So top comment on this one.

You're the asshole. It's fine to poke fun at each other as long as the person on the receiving end can take it. But you made it clear in your post that he didn't like when you made jokes about Jay. You continued to do it anyways. And now you're confused that he doesn't want to hang out with you guys, especially since he plans to repost to this girl. What's not clicking here? I'm so happy that the guy is just like, I'm done with you guys.

Yeah. OP response to that. It is a lot longer. Like this person goes off. He's like, he kind of quotes stuff he says. You're contradicting yourself. You knew that was a touchy topic for him. And yet you continue to poke fun at it.

Of course he's pissed. It's also not for nothing, but the joke really isn't about E either. It's about his girlfriend and having respect for her, which it sounds like you guys don't have. It would be one thing if you were poking harmless fun at E himself, but you're just roping his significant other into it too. Even though you know that's off limits for him and you're trying to act shocked that he's mad.

You're the asshole all the way. OP response. Like I said, we're all thick skinned in the group. Our humor has always been a little edgy. So I don't really see what his problem is with this one. We did the nice thing and kept it amongst ourselves most of the time. Was I supposed to police my jokes about him even when he isn't around? Yes.

You fucking asshole. Someone goes, what is wrong with this guy? I don't know how he has any friends. Any friends. None. I can't believe he wrote in and is like genuinely curious. Am I the asshole? Yeah.

And so someone responds back and goes, you are not thick skinned. You are all just immature assholes. Yup. Someone else goes, news flash. You aren't edgy. You're juvenile and mean. Yup.

Other news flash. Making jokes behind someone's back is also not edgy. It's also petty and mean. Pathetic. It's stupid. Yeah, pathetic. Like why are you making fun of someone when they're not even there to like defend themselves or like, it's not a joke.

If you're saying shit like that behind someone's back, it's not a joke. You are being ruthlessly cruel and mean and like bullying. Yeah. You're like a little ringleader trying to bully them. And I also can't stand when people decide to like put people on a number scale. I get that there's like songs that are saying, yeah, you're a perfect 10 and whatever. That's fine. But like when people put people on a number scale, I just think it's sickening and especially

based off of physical appearance, like you have no idea what their relationship dynamic is like. No idea how much their hearts are fully, you know, matched. And the fact that you're saying that they're not a match because of their physical appearance, that is your opinion. That is not the truth. You know what I mean? Like that is your opinion on physical appearance.

That is not what, I don't know. That just, it doesn't sit well with me at all. No. And as we've talked about in the past, like attraction is so subjective. Yes. Just because you're not attracted to her doesn't mean that E doesn't look at her as a 10. Exactly. She's as stupid as the number scale is.

Like attraction is so dependent on each person, each couple, each partnership, triple ship, whatever people ship, like whoever's involved in the relationship. Like attraction is so dependent on that. So fuck right off out of here. Literally. Can I quote that? Fuck right off out of here. Put it on a t-shirt.

Yeah. Okay. So the next one where we're throwing the men under the bus at the start of this episode. The boys. Not the men. They are not men. They did not graduate yet. Am I the asshole for joking with my wife about not being ready for sundress season?

She overheard me and my friends joking around when we were playing video games. I joked that I can't wait for sundress season to be here. After they left, she told me to take her shopping. I asked her why and she said to buy her a sundress because it's almost sundress season. I jokingly said she wasn't ready and she was offended by it. Not much else to say other than if I'm the asshole for cracking a joke at that because she's made a bigger deal out of it than what I thought. For the record, my wife is probably overweight, but I'm not an idiot and didn't tell her that.

So he basically said you're not, he meant it. He was saying you're not ready for the sundress because you're overweight. That's the vibe I'm getting. You're not hot enough to wear a sundress. You're an asshole. Pretty easy on that one. Pretty easy. This is giving me...

I was like, let me get these facts straight. Okay. Well, this is giving me... It's just bad vibes overall because he's like, I can't wait for sundress season to be here. So you're openly talking about checking out other women. You don't want your wife in a sundress. You don't want to check your wife out. But you're really excited to see other women in sundresses.

You're creepy, motherfucker. You're creepy. This also just reminds me too where it's the bikini body thing. Any body is bikini body ready. Yeah. If you are a person, you have a body and you can put a bikini on, or even if you have someone else put it on for you, you're a bikini body ready. Even if you're not a person, I don't care if you're a dog, you put that bikini on.

You rocked that shit. You rocked that little one piece. Have you ever seen dogs in swimsuits? It's really cute. No. I bet the first picture is going to be a pug though. I just see that being a pug thing to do. Oh my God, no, it's a bulldog.

Oh, that one's cute. Okay. I love, oh my gosh. Oh my God, it is a pug. On a surfboard. The third one was a pug. Okay. I love the little dog life vest with the fins on the back.

I think those are adorable. But yeah, it's giving bad vibes here. Like, I know my wife's overweight, but I'm not stupid enough to tell her that. Okay. It just sounds like- Do you want a fucking cookie? Yeah. Do you want a little cookie?

Wow. Good job. You did so good. Go fuck yourself. Yeah. These are fun so far. You little pick me bitch. Yeah.

Let's have a comment on this one. You're the asshole. Your wife thought she was overhearing a cute compliment and wanted to buy something special to wear for you because of it. And instead, you implied she needed a diet and exercise regimen, and that he only wants to see other thinner women in some dresses. This also is like, you'd also came in telling another story too where a friend of yours was dating this guy.

And the guy was meeting one of her other guy friends. Like, she was dating this guy. He was meeting her guy friend. And the guy friend told you, like, essentially, like, it was weird. Yeah. He was basically saying that my, so they're both my friends. I don't know. Let's see.

So guy friend, girlfriend. This is getting confusing. Just give them names. Okay. So you can do it. You got it. I just don't want to, like, expose anyone. Okay.

So I'm going to make up letters. Just say it. Okay. So start from the top. We're starting from the top. Okay. So one of my friends who's a girl, and then one of my guy friends, they were meeting my girlfriend's boyfriend.

And he wanted to impress my friend's guy friend that he went out of his way to basically just kind of, like, suck up to him a lot and follow him around and then, like, made jokes about my girlfriend. And our guy friend was saying that, wow, like, her boyfriend, it was like, as if he was shitting on her in order to impress me, which was not cool to me because this is my friend, right? He was literally, like, making fun of her. Yeah.

To him. Yeah. It's like, one, you're making fun of your girlfriend. Yeah. To her friend. What is this going to get you? Yeah. Exactly.

Which was really weird. And so it was funny hearing that story because I was like, I guess that kind of could fit into a pick me boy. That's a pick me boy. Yeah. That is a pick me boy. Guys out there, gals out there, people out there. Don't make fun of your significant other.

No. It doesn't end well. No. Even if your significant other can take a joke. Yeah. Well, at least do it if it's the two of you. It's the two of you. But, like, when you're meeting someone for the first time, that's not the right move.

No. No. Mm-mm. You gotta walk the dogs, school drop off, meetings from 10 to 3, take kids to soccer practice, then there goes the extra time for a jog. That's okay. Maybe next week. When everyone else relies on you, it's easy to put your needs last.

Therapy is a dedicated time to focus on what you need to be happy. So you can show up for yourself the way you do for others. BetterHelp offers convenient online therapy on your schedule. It's the same professional service you'd get from an in-person therapist, but with the option to communicate when and how you want. By chat, phone, or video call. Go to their site and fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and switch therapists any time for no additional charge.

Find more balance with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com. So moving along to a listener write-in. We don't usually do these on this show. So, am I the asshole for calling out my friend after she sent inappropriate messages in a group chat? I'll try to keep this as short as possible. A few months ago, my friend, 27 female, was sending ass pictures and selfies in her bra to a group chat we made.

This group chat mainly consisted of guys, so I understand why she would send those pictures. I always thought she was trying to get a certain someone's attention and didn't think too much of it. She's always been very comfortable with sharing her sexual life, and I was just used to her behavior and self-expression. Well, one day, she started to send extremely detailed messages about her sexual desires and talking about how horny she was. The guys didn't really say much besides replying with laughing emojis and making fun of her. The more they ignored and avoided her, the more explicit she got.

This is super interesting. Finally, a couple of the guys, including my boyfriend, who's in the group chat, messaged me privately expressing how uncomfortable they were. Mind you, most of these guys are in relationships or married with kids. What the hell is this girl doing? They've never really had a problem with her self-expression before, since they usually always just ignored her. But the way she was expressing herself that night was more than enough to make them take a step back. So I took it upon myself to reply to her and say,

hey, don't you have someone else to talk to this about? And she very quickly said no and continued to babble about the same things. Nope. No, move along. Then I messaged her privately and told her she was taking things too far and was making me and my boyfriend uncomfortable. I didn't want to throw everyone else under the bus and asked if she could stop or simply change the subject.

She left me on red and left the group chat without saying anything else. We didn't speak for a few weeks after this and when she finally called me and sort of just swept it under the rug, she asked, so is the group chat boring now that I'm gone? We all know I'm the only girl that made things fun in there, which obviously annoyed me since I was the only other girl in there. You're kidding me. And it felt like a jab at me. It was, sweetie, it was.

I think a lot of these like pick-me situations are kind of like, like, could it be, but like this one's clear, very blatant. I ignored her comment and just said things were normal and fine without her. We never touched the subject again. I was told by one of the guys that she was calling me a party pooper and that I should have been the one to leave since I was so uncomfortable and that she can't help it that she's so sexual. Does it make me an asshole for setting boundaries?

Should I have kept my mouth shut? No, not at all. That is wild, especially like if it was a group of, they were all single in there and it's just kind of like, they just one thing. Yeah. And they just kind of like, you know, shoot the shit with each other, whatever. But the fact that they all are in relationships and she's married with kids. Yeah.

And then she's just actively like, like screaming for attention. Very clearly needs a hug or an orgasm. I mean, she needs a good dick down. I feel like she probably does that. She gets it. Yeah, she gets it. You know, if you're that explicit like in like, or like if you're that open about your wants and your needs, I feel like she could figure out how to get that real quick.

Or are you putting on a show? I had this friend and you, you know her. I'm no longer friends with this person. Okay. It's one of the toxic friendships I talked about where she like put my other friends phone in a man's coat at his house to like keep her from talking to me. That was so crazy. She tried to get me kicked off my spring break trip that I invited her to.

She texted my boyfriend while I was on this spring break trip with her and my other college friends, mind you, like most of which were my roommates. And she texted my boyfriend and told him I cheated on him. Did not happen. Like was the worst experience of my life. I literally flew from, I was already planning this to fly from like Florida where we were for spring break up to Canada where he was. She fucking texted him while I was on spring break and told him Morgan cheated on you.

I fucking slept in a bed and ate hot pockets. I didn't do shit. I didn't do shit. And so I get, I'm like about to go to Canada the whole like four days leading up. He doesn't text me back. Don't know what the fuck to do. I was on the plane. I'm in Canada sitting at the airport for like four hours and I'm like, I'm in fucking Edmonton.

He didn't respond to you before you got on the flight. No, I had no idea. I had no idea what was going on because I was on that trip too. And like I couldn't, there was something where I couldn't ride home back in the car because like someone else was or something. There wasn't room or something. I don't know. But I was like, I got to go to Canada.

Like this is the plan. I'm like, I don't know. And my boyfriend was also shitty. Like go off the map. But like bad friend, bad friend, like definition of a pick me girl. And I don't know how it took me so long to see it. She did shit that like wasn't just at her own detriment. It like fucked with me and other people she was friends with.

And so I look at this situation that the listener wrote in about, and this was that friend I had. Anytime we were in a group situation hanging out with guys. Anytime. Without fail. She would talk about how much she loved getting eaten out. I didn't know that. She did that. I just love getting my bin mucked.

I just love it. She said it that way because she was talking to hockey dudes. She wanted a hockey husband so bad. Did she get it? Do we know what she's doing now? I don't think so. She's listening right now. If you're out there, I hope you've grown because that was a shitty friendship.

And it was just crazy. It was crazy because like it was kind of like this where this person's like flipping it around on our listener being like, must be boring in there now that I'm gone. I know no other girls were fun. Listeners the only girl. Yeah. She would do that shit to me. She'd be like, I feel like you're always competing with me.

She was definitely always competing with you. That's why like she always wanted to. She wanted to win over all of your friends that you introduced her to. Yeah. It was just crazy to me. And I literally like me. I was never close with her and I felt like she was always like trying to be nicer to me than she would even be to you. Literally.

And I literally broke down crying one night because she was like, I just feel like you're always competing with me. And I'm like, I almost said her name. I'm like, I'm not competing with you. You are literally competing with yourself and everyone else. Like you're doing this to yourself. I was like, I don't give a fuck about who you're going after. And literally like we were talking about this the other day where there was a guy that I used to see.

And somehow one of our friends, this is how small this world is you guys. I dated this guy in Duluth, Minnesota when he played like junior hockey. And then I hung out with him in Minneapolis when I moved there for school and he lived down there like whatever. I brought this friend of mine that we're talking about same friend onto his boat one day. And I had just told her, I had just told her like five minutes before we got on the boat, like we were in the car going there. And I was like, I really, I have a big crush on him. I like him or like whatever I said to you.

And then immediately after she starts, she's all over him. Don't be friends with people that do this shit to you. Yeah. She was, I was never a huge fan. Even when you liked her, I was like, you know, sometimes we're just naive and we're friends with people that aren't good friends to us. And it takes some growing. And this is why I have great experience now to talk about a shit friend on a podcast.

Naive podcast. Thank you ex friend. Yeah. Fuck drove me to the brink of disaster and now give me good content. Crazy bitch. Okay. Moving along. So many pick me so little time.

Am I the asshole for telling my sister that her husband would take her more seriously if she didn't dress like she did? My 26 female sister, Anna 24 married my friend Lance, 27 male. He was the cool guy in our friend group, handsome, mysterious, smart, quiet. I don't know how he ended up with my sister. She's the total opposite. Loud, funny, outgoing. She is beautiful though, really beautiful. And when they got together, everyone said how good they looked.

Anna seemed to be really in love with him all the time. She used to say how dreamy he was, how good he treated her and how spoiled she felt. But Lance was always so stern and quiet. She would revolve around him at family gatherings, but he wouldn't engage that much with everyone but me and her. I was surprised when he asked her to marry him. My sister never took the wifey role too serious. She had a non-traditional wedding and Lance went along with it. She made a bunch of rules that he agreed to and then they moved to his house.

Anna banned house utensils from the wedding guest list. She didn't work, didn't finish her studies and they don't plan on having kids. My sister is pretty much only in her looks and I didn't think Lance cared for that before. She's always on Snapchat or Instagram. I thought that after getting married she would dress more appropriate since she used to use crop tops, blouses, dresses and shirts that showed her cleavage. Short skirts or tight jeans. But she says that Lance likes her just fine.

Last week was my dad's birthday and we had a party. My sister and Lance came and she was wearing a pretty short floral dress. Nonetheless, most of the men were looking at her including my dad's friends. Lance was as stoic as always and my sister came to my mom and I saying that she didn't know why he was so quiet since he's not like that. He is like what the fuck. So I told her that if she didn't dress like that he might take her more seriously. She got sad and sat quiet the rest of the night and I didn't think much of it.

But a few days ago Lance texted me and said that he would appreciate it if I didn't comment on his wife's way of dressing again. Did I miss something? Question mark, question mark, question mark. And this must have been an edit. All caps. I'm not in love with him. Really because it seems like you are.

Yeah, leave your sister alone. Meanie? That's it, that's all you got? What the fuck? I'm carrying the team. I'm talking so much on this episode. When I'm editing it, it's going to be like Morgan audio wavelength. Lauren, Lip.

I've had a- Leave your sister alone, Meanie. Like Morgan just fucking talking. Had a few great points. Talk, bitch! What about fucking Lance? And Anna. Okay, so this person, what are your thoughts?

I think she's been an asshole. And a pick me girl? Yeah, so the top comment on this one with 55,000 upvotes. The misogyny is coming from within the house. Do them all a favor and leave them both alone. You're the asshole. Oh my God, are you the asshole? Yeah.

Did she respond to any of these comments? Not that I'm seen in the top ones, but we can peek. Someone else goes, older sister watches younger sister nab the hot guy friend and then so coincidentally decides that there is a frumpy wife dress code her sister should adhere to. Seriously, like it's not like she's saying that she's whatever. Regardless, it's just crazy. She wears things that show her cleavage. And I thought when she became a wife, she'd cover up.

Why? Why? Why did you think that? Is there an age where things change? Like who? Who's making these rules? Yeah. I didn't get the memo.

And didn't she say to you that he was my friend, not our friend in the beginning? Yeah, she said my sister, Anna, married my friend Lance. Yeah. He was the cool guy in our friend group. Yeah. So it seems like she's having some type of possessive claim over him. She's pissed off that that was her friend. Even if she's not in love with him, he's mine.

He's my friend and now my sister took him. She wants him. And look at her. She's just like, which is weird because she's acting like she knows him better than her sister. Yeah, they're married. She's like, what did she say again? Run the tapes.

About the quiet part? Yeah. My sister essentially came up. Lance was kind of being stoic and quiet. And my sister came to my mom and I saying that she didn't know why he was so quiet since he's not like that, which I assume means he's not like that at home. Right. OP in parentheses goes, he is like that.

Yeah. What the fuck? Yeah. That is some claim over this guy. Like she is just so upset that that was her friend and she feels like she knows him better. And now her sister has him and she just doesn't like it. 1000%. I feel like in her head, she didn't type it out here, but she might as well have.

In her head, she's probably like, why didn't he pick me? What did he see in my sister that he didn't see in me? He only likes my sister because she's pretty, but that will wear off. And then he'll realize that he wants me. And I didn't think Lance cared for that before. Yeah. My sister is pretty much only in her looks. Yeah.

And I didn't think Lance cared for that before. Oh my God. There are so many parts that we could dissect in her message that are just so telling. But this is sad. She definitely needs to get some help because that is just not healthy to be so jealous and competitive over your sister for, or not even over your, I don't know if it's over your sister or if it's over the guy. It's over the guy, but it's like, that sucks.

It does suck. I can't. I don't, I just, that's not healthy for you. Like you're, you're 26 and like you're competing with someone who's married to your sister. Like you're competing with your sister who's married. You're not going to win. Did you ever see that one movie? I can't remember what it is now, but it's like, the Burnett is the older one.

And then the younger one is like this really pretty, like loud, like it kind of like- Cameron Diaz. It's not Cameron Diaz, but it's, no, I know what you're talking about in that movie too, but not that one. No, not that one though. Oh, I wish I could remember what it's called, but it's, it's just funny because what happens is that- Is the main character's Jane?

Probably, that sounds about right. And the guy has a dog and she fakes being a vegetarian? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And then she exposes her like on their wedding night and like has like- Oh, it's with Catherine Hegel. Yeah. And all the pictures- Is it?

She sabotages her. Yeah. Yeah. Because she's like, she knows- 27 dresses. Was, no. Yeah. It's 27 dresses because she's in love with her boss and the sister starts stealing everything,

steals her boss that she's in love with, like pretends to be a vegetarian even though she's not. Five minutes later. Oh, you're right. It is it. I told you. That's the boss. She's in love with it.

Okay. Yeah. It's 27 dresses. Oh my God. Okay. Yeah. That's what this reminds me of except for the fact that the- It's flipped.

Flip flopped. Kind of. No, no, no. It's the same. It's exactly the same. Yeah. Except for the, the younger sister is like lying about everything. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm being a phony. The younger sister in this one probably isn't lying as much. That's what we are gathering from this. She just likes Instagram and doesn't want kids, which is totally fine. Which also was like weird that she kind of implied like that was a downer. I don't know.

She just gets bad vibes and she clearly needs to work on herself and- I had this one time. Just this. Speaking of Instagram or Snapchat. I was on Snapchat in college once and I, there's this girl. She's so smart. Just like was brilliant and was working at the same lab as I was. And I was taking a selfie of myself on Snapchat and I didn't know anyone was there.

And all of a sudden like I could see her like in the background of my Snapchat. I was like, oh my God. I turned around. I'm so sorry. That's embarrassing. And she's like, no, it's okay. You do it all the time. It's like white noise at this point.

Oh. Wow. I was like, everyone talks on Snapchat. Okay. That's what we do. We communicate through Snapchat. That's not a burn slash just mean. She wasn't even trying to be mean though.

It was just like a genuine, like she was just a genuine response. Holy shit. I don't even notice at this point. It's just like white noise. Fuck. Just hit me. Hit me hard. Anyway.

Yeah. Well, I wish Anna and Lance the happiest of marriages. The best. Fuck your sister. There's no dress code. I was like, I think it's annoying too because obviously no boob size is mentioned here, but something that I thought of too that frustrates me a lot is like, oh, you need to dress appropriately.

And like, if you wore the same shirt as me, same size, same shirt, same everything, and then I put it on, it's going to look like a totally different shirt on me because of my boobs. It instantly can become inappropriate. Totally. So it's like, like, just let her wear whatever the fuck she wants to wear. Yeah. There was this girl in my class in like sixth grade and she just like developed faster than

everyone else, had really big boobs, would wear exact that issue, like same shirts as everyone else, but she would be the one who get dress coded. Yeah. It was just like bogus. That was me. Literally my mom. You were that girl in my class? No, that happened to me.

I know, I'm kidding. I was in, I think I was in like seventh, eighth grade and like I got boobs like pretty early. And I don't know if anyone else remembers this or if this was like a style thing for you guys, but you remember the Abercrombie and Fitch like shirts, they had like the scooped collar neck or like they would be the V-neck like but said like Abercrombie or like had the mousse on them, whatever their graphic tease as they called them. And I was just like wearing one of those like with a bra, like just minding my own business and the secretary like came up to me and like pulled my shirt up and like took me to the

office. And it was just like, this is super inappropriate. Blah, blah, blah. And like my mom came in. I just remember my mom screaming at the secretary, screaming at her. Oh, at the secretary. Yeah. I was like, come on.

No, no, no. She was like, you are so inappropriate to tell a young girl, you're looking at her boobs. How inappropriate are you? She's a developing young woman. How dare you? Well, the males flipped. Good. The males were not allowed to dress code anymore towards the end of my school experience

because it was considered sexual harassment. Yeah. Which it is. Which and honestly like it feels like sexual harassment sometimes even from a woman like I can't remember if I've said this on the podcast and there's a few things around this topic that I don't remember if I said, but when I was on an airplane, I literally got dress coded. Yeah.

I was like, what the hell? I was wearing a zip up and I was wearing like one of those like extended sports bras. So what you're wearing right now? Yeah. Like it looks like what I'm wearing right now. And so, but like I had like a sliver of mid-drift. Because you were wearing high, you were wearing high-waisted leggings or pants or whatever. And you had the extended tank top.

It's essentially a tank top, like a shorter tank top. Yeah. And this woman came up and dress coded me. And I just, this was like a year ago, you guys. I couldn't believe that I was getting dress coded on an airplane. I was so taken back by it. And I was just like, I was sitting like boiling like so upset the entire time. And I'm like, yeah, this is ridiculous.

I shouldn't feel like this. I feel like a child. I feel like disrespected in a way. I don't know. It was just, it was so uncomfortable. It made me so uncomfortable. It made me feel like I'm like this like, like, provocative, provocative, just like out to try to like, I don't know.

I was making jokes afterwards. I was like, I'm sorry that the flight attendant is not experienced or the, the, the captain. No, the captain isn't experienced enough that if he were to see my mid-drift that he would crash the flight from distraction. Oh my God. Come on. Like, what is your reason? You know?

Yeah. The only thing like I, as like a flight attendant, we were just told when we gave out buddy passes, like there was a dress code for buddy passes. And so you hear about it in the news a lot where like, oh, United woman was asked to change when she wore leggings and it turned out like she was using a buddy pass. And so that was a rule for my airline. If you were traveling on a buddy pass or a companion pass or whatever, you had to dress in a certain way because you're representing the company annoying.

No one's going to know unless you are like wearing your badge, which is a different story because a lot of people did wear their badges because they would get them upgraded and like free drinks and whatever. But it's still like, it's leggings. They're not like assless chaps. There's a difference. Yeah. Well, and then I got, then I got mad because I started looking around and I was thinking,

maybe it's just a skin contact on the thing. Like they're worried that my skin might touch, which I was wearing a jacket. So it wouldn't have, but I was like, maybe that's their dress code. And then I looked around and I see like this girl get up and like she's wearing shorts that are like up her ass, like her ass cheeks are hanging out. Flight attendant sees her. It doesn't say anything. So I'm the flight attendant.

Yeah. Oh, I thought it was like gate agent. No. No, I like got up like to go to the bathroom. So strange. Right? That's just weird. I'm like, did that make you feel better about your, like, who am I disturbing right now?

You know, that's the thing. She's being a hater. Yeah. You weren't trying to be a pick me girl. You're just fucking wearing whatever the fuck makes you comfortable on a eight hour flight. Yeah. She was a hater. Fuck her.

Thank you. Fuck her. I can't remember her name, but like it's probably Karen. I think you did start with a K though. I was like so fired up. I'm like, I'm going to report her. I'm going to get my money back and then I didn't do anything. So big talk.

Yeah. Yeah. If you've ever had to deal with a plumbing problem, you may have felt the pain of realizing you don't know any plumbers. Whether you're trying to stop a leaky faucet, fix a running toilet, replace your old water softener or install a tankless water heater, the plumbers at any hour services can help. All you have to do is call any hour services or schedule an appointment at any hour services dot com.

Help with plumbing maintenance and repairs is closer than you think. Call any hour services or schedule an appointment at any hour services dot com. No one helps more homeowners than any hour services. Moving along. Moving along. And by the asshole for calling my best friend a pick me girl. My best friend Rose and I have been besties since we were 12 and now nearly a decade after we are still going strong at 21 years old.

During high school, our sophomore year, we started hanging out with a group of seniors. We were 16 slash 17 and they were 17 slash 18. It was a group of four guys. When we started hanging out with them, two of them were taken and two of them were single. By the end of my senior year, I started dating one of the two single guys. So is now one single guy in the friend group and my friend Rose, who was also single. Let's call the guy Bran. Bran and Rose grew really close together and we all joked that they'd make a cute couple.

They both brushed it off saying they're not each other's type. Rose would always find comfort in Bran, but sometimes she took things too far and would make Bran uncomfortable. When I talked to her about it, she said there's nothing to worry about and they're just friends. And if he felt uncomfortable, he would tell her flash forward to now. Bran and Rose never did anything, not even a kiss. Bran also kind of distanced himself from Rose for the reason previously mentioned. And even as friends, Rose was not the kind of friend Bran would like to have since she's been very self-centered at times and always dismisses people's issues and acts like the attention should be on her.

I've always told her it's not okay that she does that. She fixes it for a couple of weeks and then does the same thing. Well, Bran got a girlfriend a couple of months ago and it's actually a really close friend of his and they grew closer until they ended up together. They seem to be getting along really well and we're all happy for him. Rose does not seem too happy. Whenever the girlfriend is around, she always makes comments about how, quote, that one time Bran and I did this or something along the lines of, quote,

Oh, Bran, remember when we used to sleep in the same bed at sleepovers? Ha ha ha. Oh my God, this is where Chill Girl came. This is one of the inspiration of her Chill Girl in that TikTok. Oh my God, yes. Who is the girl that creates those again? I don't know, Justin follows her. I'll ask him.

She's pretty funny. It's hilarious. She'd always joke that Bran and her will end up marrying each other and jokingly told the girlfriend to back off her man. Okay, this is getting a little far. At some point it was getting out of hand and she pretended the room was too hot and was provocatively unbuttoning her shirt. That's how the flight attendant saw me.

Bran told her to stop doing all of this and she just responded, Ha ha, don't worry Bran, it's not something you haven't seen before. Oh, then I stepped in and told her to stop acting like a pick me girl. It's getting embarrassing. Rose and the rest of the guys there all called me the asshole. Basically for calling Rose out like that. Bran, on the other hand, thank me for speaking up because he's exhausted of her. The rest of the friends who are still mad at me that I'd embarrassed Rose

in front of everyone like that and how I'm the one acting like an insecure asshole. So, am I the asshole? Why are all the friends thinking that? Because they were about to get a strip tease. Oh, you think that's why? They're 21, 22, 23 year old dudes. They were ready for it.

They were like, yeah, let Rose take it off. Who fucking knows? Dudes are weird. Love them most times, sometimes, some days. But they're weird. They're goofy. They're goofy. Your little, little goofy goofballs.

Please do a zoom on your face when you edit this. Just fucking cheese in ear to ear. My fucking face hurts from smiling that hard, to be honest. And the headphones, like if you guys see me adjusting the headphones constantly, it's because they don't feel good. Like they genuinely hurt your ears, especially because we sit here for so long. But they hurt.

But I like them. But I like it. Picasso. I like it, Picasso. I finally just watched the TikTok. We'll get you there, Lauren. We'll get you there. I was on TikTok a lot and then I don't know what happened,

but for some reason I just, actually, I think I know what happened. It's whenever they started making the TikToks longer. Yeah. Because like, I would spend so long waiting for the result of a story that wouldn't be satisfying. And then I would be like, Why don't you just use the little bar to slide across?

Skip. To the end. Because I am not like you. I just skipped to the end on those ones. I'm like, Morgan? I'm like, if the ending is really good, then I'll watch it again. Morgan, if anyone doesn't know this, is like the type of person that likes to read all the spoilers. We know.

Okay. We know. The fam knows. The fam knows. We talk about it often. Yeah. Yeah. So not the asshole on this one.

Rose needs to get her shit together. If someone was doing this, I would trip them. Okay. I would trip them. Would you trip them on a bed of Legos? No. Okay.

Like maybe just like hip check them into a couch or something. Oh, that's pretty nice. Yeah. No, I'd call her out for sure. Like, and this is a part of that video that will again, we watched and we'll link in the description of this episode. But it's the video where it's like, why do guys let their girlfriends act like this? Right.

This doesn't benefit you. If this girl is truly just your girlfriend and you're looking to have a partner that is not her, it doesn't benefit you to have someone like this clamoring along, making inappropriate comments and making your potential girlfriend, partner, whoever uncomfortable. This is weird. The one time you branded this brand, remember when we used to sleep in the same bed? I think I'm a little bit too crazy for this. Like I don't think I would.

What'd you do? What would you do? I think I would like scream at her. Really? I would be like, I don't know. No, I'm talking a big game. Yeah. I was going to say, Lauren, I don't even think I've heard you yell at anyone ever.

I would shut down when you get mad. I would be so pissed though. I just, that's so disrespectful. I feel bad for brand too because it's like, he's already told her. It kind of does, unfortunately. Like the friend is not the asshole for stepping in and maybe it is her place because it's her best friend of 12 years, but it really does fall on the guy to be like, yo, this is not cool.

We slept in a bed once. I didn't even fucking touch you. We never kissed. We didn't finger bang. Nothing happened. Why are you acting like something happened when it clearly didn't? Like Rose, is she mad that she missed her shot or is she just that possessive and insecure? Right.

And that's the thing is that like with that last story too, a lot of girls will get really possessive over their guy friend relationships. Yeah. And like it's just, it just is this way. When somebody gets a girlfriend, that's your guy friend, things are going to change. Like hopefully not too much. Hopefully you'll all be able to like be like Kumbaya, but like no matter how strong and good of a friendship you have, the minute that your guy friend gets a girlfriend, things

are going to change. Absolutely. I've seen it happen over and over and over again. And like all of my like my girlfriends that are just like, oh no, no, no, like we have this pact. But then the guy gets a girlfriend and it's like, no. You should be happy for them though. Yeah.

You know, it's more so like we have a pact like we'll always stay like super close, we'll always be tight. And then like they're like, they don't hang out with me as much anymore. And it's like, duh. Yeah. Duh. And it's like, it sucks like because you know, you'll cultivate a really great relationship with somebody, but like you were talking about this too, even with like girlfriends.

Like when people get a significant other, their time gets divided up differently. Yeah. That's just how it works. That's the way life works. Not everyone, but I think we're all kind of looking for someone to love or like someone to value us and like to have a partnership with. And like there's people that have like friend, like platonic partnership. So it's like they literally are two friends that like build a life together in the same

way our couple would. So there's different relationships for everyone, but like, yeah, like our shit just changes. But like I don't get this because like I do have a lot of guy friends and I don't ever remember being possessive over them. Honestly, if anything, I was always the person like we'd go out as a big group and I'd be like, have you met my friend Tanner? Like literally pulling the like how I met your mother, like have you met my friend Ted? Like I love connecting people.

Like even when we went out, we went out in Santa Monica recently and it was like me, you, Justin and Alejandra, we've been like a little four posse lately. It's so funny. And so we like all went out and we're at bungalow and this guy walks by and I look and I'm like, he's, this would be a good one for Alejandra. Like I just like, he gave me the vibe and me and Justin, Justin's like literally with me standing there. And we're like, I go, what do you like?

I really like his jacket. So I want to ask him where he got his jacket. But I literally look at him after I'm like, have you met my friend Alejandra? I think you should meet my friend Alejandra. You'd really like her. So I go get Alejandra, bring her over the exchange numbers. There's a good, good wing girl Morgan moment. Beautiful.

But I love that shit. I want my guy friends to find their people and be happy. Like Tanner getting a girlfriend. I love that for him. Yeah. Tanner. Yeah. Allison.

Let's fucking go. Like I love that shit. Well, it is, it is something though that I've like thought about. So for example, like my really good friend, see, he, I totally want him to be happy and find a girl and, you know, blah, blah, blah. But it was funny because he was seeing somebody and he told me that she had asked him, be honest. He never leave me for Lauren.

Oh God. I was like, no. Cause like it just sucks cause it's like I want him to be so happy and I want like whoever he's with. I want to be friends with her and it just like sucks to even like have them have that thought in their head that there's anything to like worry about with me because I want to be all kumbaya. But it's just like the reality is it is kind of hard to have like the guy that you're with

being really tight with another girl. Yeah. But I think like as someone coming in, like if you do have that experience where your guy or, or just flip whatever genders, whatever way, but if you do come in and your partner is really close with someone and it makes you feel insecure, like ask them, like that was fair. Like that was a fair question. Like kind of a weird way to put it, but like as a person in a relationship that has like

friends or situations like this, you just don't want to be in the dark. I think that's the biggest thing. You just don't, you don't want to feel like you're in the dark or missing information. You feel like an idiot and feel like an idiot and then like if things do start get weird to get weird, like you're kind of like, well, you said there was nothing going on. You said there's never been anything in the past. It just feels like you guys are becoming a little too close. Like your relationship makes me uncomfortable and then you have to decide for yourself,

like, is this something you're okay with living with? Like if they remain that close forever and aren't willing to kind of draw some boundaries, because if their relationship stays the same and you're not comfortable with it, then like that's not the right person for you. Yeah. And I don't blame, you know, anyone ever for asking that question. Like I wasn't, I didn't think that that was crazy. The girl asked that question at all.

No, Tanner, Tanner got asked that about me. Yeah, like totally. And it's so fair. Like I've asked questions like that. Like I, yeah, it's fair. Totally. It's, it's better to ask. I think I agree.

I think that the reason why I said no is because I just never want anyone to ever feel like I would be a threat with their relationship with my friend C, like ever. I just would never want anyone to feel that. So that's why I'm like, no, like I don't even want you to like have an inkling in your mind to be a, you know, it's very hard coming into a friend group that's already very established. This situation to a T brand's girlfriend, his new girlfriend is coming into an established friend group. That's a really hard thing to do.

So even if there isn't any weird vibes or there's never been anything going on, everyone's just friends, it's normal, whatever. You might feel a little insecure just because they're so close and established. They have inside jokes. They've been friends and known each other for eight years, like whatever it is. Like you're already kind of on a different footing than everyone else. So that like dynamic could be uncomfortable from the start. Yeah.

And then if it's like someone like it's a girlfriend that's like hot, like you might just kind of wonder like, Hey, like this girl, like she should be going out of her way to make the new girl, the new girlfriend, like feel so comfortable and feel included and welcome. Yeah. It's another potential friend for you. And I think like that's what my brother said that once when, because my brother has three or older, I'm younger, but he has three sisters and he was like growing

up, I was always sad that I didn't have a brother. But then I realized once you guys find your significant others, then I got four. I have, yeah, I have three new brothers. Three. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I think that's the thing.

It's like, if they suck, obviously you don't want to be friends with them and let your friend date them. But like if they're a good person, like you can never have too many good friends. Well, actually, I will say Jeff, whenever we were dating, um, my friend, see, yeah. Um, he came over to hang out and Jeff was working out in the living room and we were like, yeah, I think we're just going to go to a bar and like grab a drink down the road. And Jeff's like, okay, well, if you guys want to watch TV, like you guys can like

lay in my bed and watch TV in my room. And we're like, okay, thanks. We walked away and my friend C was like, that's hilarious that like your boyfriend's just like, yeah, you guys can lay in my bed together and watch it. It's just so funny. We've been going down a lot of rabbit holes. I feel like people are going to get mad that we're not cutting to the stories. It's okay.

Okay. I just, sometimes you just got to be you. If you can't handle us at our worst, you don't deserve us at our best. You think we're being our worst right now? No, not even. Close. There's been far worse. Okay.

Am I the asshole for announcing my pregnancy at my partner's grandfather's funeral? That's really random. I just don't know why my, unless it was on accident, we'll find out. I haven't read this one. I truly read the title. Okay. My female 24 partners, male 27 grandfather recently died.

He wasn't close to him. So he didn't get affected much, yet we'll still go to the funeral. He invited me for emotional support and I obliged. I also recently got pregnant. He didn't know. I told my mother, she's ecstatic about it. I told her about how my partner didn't know and about the funeral. She thought it would be a good idea to announce it at the funeral.

And so I did out with the old and in with the new. And I thought it would lighten the mood. Did she say that phrase? No, she didn't. Out with the old in with the new. What? No, she didn't. And I thought it would lighten the mood.

And I could tell my in-laws in person. He was at the funeral and the mood was slumber. So I hold the announcement off at the wake after the funeral, all the close in-laws who would be in my baby's life were there. I thought since people's moods have slightly lightened, it would be a good time to announce it. I was very excited. I went where everyone was gathered, stood on a chair and announced my pregnancy happily.

Everyone was shocked. And my partner came up to me and to my surprise took me away and started shouting at me. And some of my in-laws left and are mad at me. I can see how someone could be offended. However, they did overreact. When we got home, my partner said he was happy I was pregnant, but that was not the time to announce it. I don't see the issue.

I was trying to lighten people's moods. It wasn't at the funeral, so I don't really see what's wrong. I do feel bad for offending my in-laws, but in my family, it would be acceptable. So am I the asshole? Well, at first I thought you meant that she literally said the phrase out with old and with the new at the funeral. No, that would be, she's just typing that to Reddit. Okay, got it.

Um, that's where I really was like, what in the actual, um, yeah, like, right? I was like, what the fuck with the old and with the new, I'm pregnant, right? But, um, I mean, I don't think that that is a very appropriate place to announce your pregnancy. However, I also think that it's kind of sad that that was the first time that her husband found out about it, or was it her husband, her partner? She goes on to say husband. Okay. She, it's like in her mixed start, she starts with partner, but then ends by saying it husband.

So that's, that would be really sad too, that she announced it to him for the first time and that he pulls her to the side and like screams at her. So that kind of, that kind of sucks, right? Um, little harsh, but I also don't think it was appropriate. But you know what I mean, what do you think? What are your thoughts? No, no, I want to keep hearing where you're going with this because I like it. I've done enough talk in this episode.

Shut me up. I've talked a lot too. Keep going. Yeah. I mean, I, that was pretty much it though. I think that I just, I wanted to give like a good like lag time so that you could cut that out because I couldn't think of what I wanted to say next, but then our stare down like, I was waiting for you to keep going, then it caught me and then I

got all like distracted, I was waiting for you to keep going. Um, yeah, I don't know. I definitely think that exactly what I said, I don't think it was a good place to announce it, but I also feel bad for her that she announced it and her husband like yelled at her. That sucks. Yeah, really unfortunate. Like I think she should have, you never know how people's reactions are going to be.

I always think you should tell someone big emotional news in private. If you want to record it on your phone, then do that. Don't live stream it, but like, I think moments like that should be private. And also like, even if they're not private, this was clearly not the right time. This was at a funeral, trying to say like, Oh, you wanted to lighten the mood. I think that's total bullshit. You just wanted the chance to have everyone there and all eyes on you totally. That's what a baby shower is for, bitch.

Yeah. This is not the time. This is a fucking funeral. This is your in-laws. Yes. This is your partner's grandpa, but your in-laws, this is one of their dads. This is the worst fucking day of their life. Yeah.

Potentially. Probably. Right. So like, for you to be like, Oh, I'm pregnant. Yay. You stood up on a fucking chair. You didn't even just say like, you guys, yeah, you're right. That's like a movie moment.

This is like a psychotic movie moment. Like to stand up on a chair and announce you're pregnant. What world are you in? This is fucked. Not normal. And for her mom to be like, Oh my God. Yeah, you should totally announce it at the funeral. And then for her to be like, this would be acceptable in my family.

I don't know where this is normal at all. It is. Yeah. And maybe it's a cultural thing. I don't know. Like I'm getting, I'm getting different culture vibes and maybe that's me reading and knew it, but I could see this being a cultural difference where like someone would be excited about an announcement like this out of funeral.

Like there's so many cultural differences with funerals. Like I was just talking about this with my intern, Alex, how like Jewish funerals are very different from Christian funerals. And, um, I mean, there's so many, there's just so many different ways you can celebrate someone's life or saying like, whatever, like that. I mean, I think it was Aztecs or Mayans or something like that that I learned about long time ago in grade school. But, um, I know that a lot of the deaths and sacrifices were like the biggest honor.

I think there's even just like minor differences. Like in some cultures, they don't wear black to a funeral. Like you're supposed to wear white. Like white is actually the color of like grieving or something like that. So I felt really, I actually, at a funeral, it was like me and my family hadn't been together in a long time. And so we all took a picture together. And that even felt weird for me.

Like just like smiling in a picture with my family at a funeral. Yeah, I know. Well, and then there's like people that take pictures with the casket. There's, that's strange. There's people that take pictures like with their past relative. If you've ever had to deal with a plumbing problem, you may have felt the pain of realizing you don't know any plumbers. Whether you're trying to stop a leaky faucet, fix a running toilet, replace

your old water softener or install a tankless water heater, the plumbers at any hour services can help. All you have to do is call any hour services or schedule an appointment at anyhourservices.com. Help with plumbing maintenance and repairs is closer than you think. Call any hour services or schedule an appointment at anyhourservices.com. No one helps more homeowners than any hour services. Like in the casket, full face shots, like standing next to the casket, taking pictures.

So I think like how people want to handle a loss is up to them. Like what I find weird for a funeral, some people are like, that's normal. Totally. That's the way we grieve. Yeah. But I think this is probably one of those circumstances where, I mean, it definitely felt very like attention on me, whether she was mean to you or not. Like whether she was being genuine or not, it's like, it's hard not to like take

it that way when you're standing up on a chair being like, look at me now. Like I get that everyone was together and you were like, I think this was a pick me moment. Yeah, I agree. She wanted the attention. I agree. And just the fact she said, out with the old, that's, I know the fact that she said that is like, fucked up.

Even to Reddit. Yeah, exactly. Like, did you not think when you were typing that out, like maybe it would have been beautiful if she said something like, maybe a part of him is in my baby. I don't know. Maybe if it was like her, like I'm saying like, if her belief was kind of like reincarnation, then maybe that would be like a beautiful concept. Like kind of like, wow, he passed away right when I got pregnant.

Like maybe this is like, yeah, yeah, like I could see. Okay. Yeah. If that's what she meant by in with fucked up. I don't know if we can rationalize that one. You want to give her the benefit of the doubt. We all do. We all, we don't, we all don't want to assume the worst here, but this lady might be

trash. Yeah. Yeah. You might be right. Morgan, you might be right, but I might be totally wrong. So one of the top comments, you're the asshole. That was a day of grief and comfort. Of course the mood was somber.

I assume that's what you mean by the mood is slumber. It's a funeral. This was really insensitive thing to do. Yeah. Uh-huh. I don't even think like if it was a wedding though, keep it to yourself on a day that is holy, even if it was a wedding, there's like a friends episode about that. She like is Rachel.

Yeah. She's pregnant, but she's like, doesn't want to steal a Monica's light. So she tries to hide it, but yet everyone's drinking. And so she's trying to like avoid the, I forget. Yeah. So I think someone was like drinking for her. Well, then someone finds a pregnancy test in the garbage and then Monica's like, fuck, he stole my date.

No. Yeah. No, it's so funny. Yeah. I mean, I think the moral of the story is that like let people have their days, whether it's enjoyment or grief, let them have their fucking days. Don't try to steal the, the light last, but not least Roger that.

So this one is going to be a, do you think she's a pick me or not? Okay. Am I the asshole for wearing sexy clothes around my roommate's boyfriend? I study in the city and I share an apartment with two other girls. I work at a bookstore and a cheese shop, all so I don't need loans. It leaves me exhausted when I get home. I usually take a shower, make dinner and just go to my room. It was all fine until one of my roommates, boyfriends started hanging

around with her almost every night. It didn't bother me at all until last Sunday morning when I was in the kitchen making coffee, the boyfriend came in and asked if he could have coffee and started chatting. The roommate later came in and she was visibly annoyed. So I asked her what's up and she said, nothing. When her boyfriend left, she asked to talk to me. She told me that my breasts are very distracting and that maybe I should

consider wearing a bra or a thick hoodie when I'm in the common areas or simply just buy takeouts. So I don't need anything to use in the kitchen every evening when she, the other roommate and their boyfriends are hanging out. I didn't read this one. You guys, she's clearly not a pick me. I thought this was going to go totally different way. The thing is that when I was making coffee that day, I was wearing a gray

T-shirt and sweatpants. The boyfriend was in his boxers and she was wearing silk negligee. She's six feet tall and very beautiful. She has done some modeling. I'm five, six. And while I'm happy with how I look, I never thought of myself as a threat to someone like her. So I laughed and asked her if she was serious.

She became upset and told me that her boyfriend has been talking about my breasts. I was grossed out. So I just went to my room all last week. I brought takeout with me and stayed in my room. No, come on yesterday. However, I came home yesterday. However, I came home at six PM.

They were already in the kitchen, the roommates and their boyfriends. Before I went into my room, the roommate yelled pizza again. Soon you won't be able to go through the door. Who is this bitch? I was fuming. I put my sexiest pushup bra on hot pants and tiny see-through top. I went to the kitchen and started making food. The roommate was livid.

She started yelling and then stormed off to her bedroom while crying and calling me a whore. My other roommate thought I was an asshole and heartless because the roommate has confided in us about her insecurities and eating disorder in the past that left her hating her body. Was I the asshole? No, I'm sorry to hear about this eating disorder. But no, you are not, this is not, no.

Yeah, that is ridiculous. She does go edit. I should mention that none of the two girls wear bras at home, but my breasts are on the larger scale. I think that's the problem because I never heard my roommate asking the other roommate to wear a bra, which is again, the double standard, like small boobs, big boobs, small boobs, big boobs. Well, and that goes back to two, like she's saying, you know, that the other

roommate was saying that she's an asshole. She's like, you know that this roommate has an eating disorder and like that she has a lot of insecurities and like that, like we, like can have compassion for, like we should have compassion for. I think that like, that doesn't mean that it's okay to project on to other people and be mean to them and make them feel bad and make them have insecurities. Like now she has an insecurity. She feels like she just has to get take out and cover herself up in her own

home that she's paying for. It's just like that, that, that boyfriend is not paying rent. Why, why does he get, why does he get a say? Yeah. For someone that has an eating disorder or has struggled with eating in the past, it's very odd that you would body shame someone. Right. You're not going to be able to fit through the door pizza again.

Yeah. Bitch. She's doing that for you because you're insecure, which I think this is like something that's really hard and something that will like continue to come up overall in general, not just this podcast, but like we should not be responsible for people's triggers. We should not be responsible for people's insecurities. She's clearly projecting that has nothing to do with OP.

Yeah. Like OP is just trying to live her life and have a healthy living situation. Well, and it's, it's interesting to hear the story because the one thing, I don't mind having my friends, my roommates have their boyfriends over, but it is one of those things where I'm like, oh, I can't like walk around in my underwear. Like I could with just like, yeah, my friends here. And so it's like, you have to kind of like cover up a little bit more, but like this, like absolutely not.

I'm not putting on like a, I don't know, like a, well, the fact that she's, she was wearing a gray T-shirt and sweatpants when this initial thing happened. The boyfriend was just in boxers, which one I find super inappropriate. That's fucked up. So he's allowed to wear boxers, but you're not allowed to wear sweats. Like what? And the room, you're not allowed to wear a growlfit. Well, the roommate was in a silk negligee, basically like a silk nightgown, silk

lingerie, like negligee can mean different things. This is so frustrating in a room. This is a negligee. Like this is, this is lingerie. That's lingerie. Yeah. So. And also back to like, back to people taking responsibility.

What the hell is the boyfriend doing talking about her roommate like that? Like that. Why are you with this man? Why are you with him? If he's making you feel insecure about your body, why are you with him? If he's making comments about your roommate's boobs being out and like, she, the one that's calling her roommate out and being a bitch, she's almost a pick me girl.

She's the one that's being a fucking pick me girl. Yeah. Putting someone else down for a man's approval or to win a man over. Right. You're being the pick me. Yeah. Suppress yourself, make yourself small. There's this little, oh my God.

There's this thing that Danielle will post on her Instagram every once in a while. And I love it. I'm going to send it to you so you can like post it on the YouTube. But it's just basically talking about like, like I'm, as a woman, I'm not going to make myself smaller to make you feel bigger too. It's like to a, to a man. Yeah. But, um, I don't know.

I think it's a really cute little cartoon post that she posts. It is. And that's like a good motto. It's like, why, like, why does she have to be responsible for this girl's insecurities? Yeah. No, that's not how it should work. I hope she can get a different roommate situation.

So bad. But what was the top comment on that? It's a long one. They're like, you're the asshole. We're like, wait, what? Not the asshole. She wants your boobs. She said breasts, but no, I just have a hard time saying that word sometimes.

Yeah. It's a little formal for me too. Not the asshole. Well, she wants your breasts. It is formal. I like boobs. They're just boobs. This is fun.

I bet the boyfriend didn't talk about your breasts. And even if he did, why isn't she pissed off with her boyfriend more? Why is he looking and talking about other breasts to his girlfriend? The fact that she has the audacity to blame you for her boyfriend's creepiness, you were completely covered. You can't just detach your girls and keep them inside the cupboard. And then her comment, which was absolutely disgusting. Her insecurities and eating disorder doesn't give her a free pass to project

them all onto you. Were you petty? Yes. Does that make you the asshole? Nope. Honestly, I would try and find another place to stay. Can't imagine trying to live in peace amidst such drama. And don't listen to the people expecting you to be the bigger person.

We should stop normalizing the whole bigger person thing. You literally were hiding out in your room, eating takeout for a whole week. And she still came for you. Nah. She had it coming. Sorry, not sorry. Hopefully your roommate will think twice before going all mean girls on someone else. Yeah.

Yeah. Wait, I, do you think it was petty? I think it was justified. I don't, I don't know. No, I don't, I don't even think it was petty at that point. I think like she was at her wit's end. Like she had just lived, hid, caved up in her room for a week, eating takeout, which doesn't leave you feeling very good after a whole week of it.

When she came out, a pushup bra and a see-through shirt. Good. I like it. I think it's one of those things where it's like, if you can't mess, if you can't fight the bull, what's that saying, the bull saying? I should know this. If you can't fight the bull, don't mess with the horns. I think is what it is.

If you can't fight the bull, don't mess with the horns. Yeah. If you can't fight the bull, don't mess with the horns. If you provoke somebody, you can expect an aggressive reaction. That's what it means. And that's the thing. Like she was literally walking in with a pizza, going to go mind her own fucking business when you guys are capitalizing common living space.

And you're going to say, you're not going to be able to fit through the door. This is one of those stories where it's like, I can't believe that it's real because it's so realistic, but so ridiculous. Do you know what I mean? I can see it though. I think at the root cause of a lot of these pick-me's is insecurity. And it's trying to uplift yourself to make yourself feel better, to fit in. And clearly this girl, she's six feet, she's a model.

Like you're constantly being compared to other women. You're constantly in competition with other women. You're dealing with a lot of insecurities. Well, I don't know what you would call this, but there was a time in my life where I used to eat really, really bad. It's like ridiculous how bad I used to eat in college. Like I genuinely thought like a McChicken was healthy because it was protein. I like would go to the grocery store and I would get like a Caesar salad, one of

those pre-made ones. And I was like, I'm so healthy today. I like ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and I was like, health with chocolate chips in it, health. I'm not kidding. Like I ate so bad. So when I started eating really healthy, it was so proud of myself. I was making quinoa, like I'm like buying kale.

Like I, holy shit, I was so proud of myself and I felt good to you. I like felt better. And then I had a friend make comments to me, like, do you have an eating disorder? Why are you like, why don't you eat something like, like a donut? And I'm like, I know how to eat a donut. I've done that for like two decades. Aren't you proud of me?

I'm proud of myself. And then it made me feel shameful when I was eating healthy around this friend because I was like, she thinks I have an eating disorder because I'm eating this healthy food, but yet I'm so proud of myself for finally being healthy. So I don't know what you call that, but I think well, maybe I just want to know, but I think that's like, no, but that's, that kind of goes along with today's conversation because like on the video we watched, one of her things was like, are we over-policing women?

Are these people being pick me's or are we just over-policing them? Well, actually, and like, why, why make comments about something that's not hurting or even impacting you, it doesn't affect you. And your friend wants to eat a bag of kale as long as she's not throwing it up. Yeah, like, exactly. It's like, nothing to worry about. And that's the thing is that I was like, you genuinely know that I don't have an eating disorder.

So why are you saying it? That's, that's like, why are you saying that? Yeah. And, um, but actually she ended up admitting later, which was good, is that she was saying, she's like, honestly, like I made comments because it makes me feel like I'm eating wrong and I don't want to feel bad about how I'm eating. So I said, I like projected onto you to make you feel bad about it. So that I felt better about eating whatever I was eating.

Yeah. So which is like, very fair. Yeah, yeah. No, and I mean, I go through that myself where it's like, I love sweets. I love candy. I love cake. I love cookies. I like all the bad stuff, but it's fine in moderation, but like, I don't know

how to moderate. Like you give me a pack of cookies. They're gone. And so like Justin's very good about just being like, no, you know, I already had like two, maybe four cookies today. Like I don't need the fifth cookie. Fuckin Justin's moderation is just out of control. It is too good.

It's really good. It's really good. And so I will be like, I can't have that cookie because you're not having that cookie. And it just like makes me feel bad. So it's like, it's, I get where she's coming from. But again, it's like, Justin knows how to handle his alcohol. Like he's, I know he's so good, he's so good balance everything. God damn it.

I know. God, I don't know if he's blacked out in ever drink to that. I know. I'm like drinking air, but this was an interesting conversation. I think that's a very complex issue. There's a lot to it. I think internalized misogyny is a big root cause of a lot of it. I think also just people struggling to fit in and insecurity.

Fucking it's a bitch. It sucks. Yeah. We've all been there. We've all wanted to fit in or try to like have someone like us or be a part of the gang and it's hard, but at the end of the day, you just have to remember that like whatever you're doing in those situations to try to fit in, just ensure that it doesn't come at the expense of others and putting other people down.

And I think to be able to recognize that is really huge because a lot of people hear the word insecure and they're like, I'm not insecure. No, no, no. I don't have like, you know what I mean? Like I'm super insecure. People do not like to say that they have insecurities or that they are insecure. Like they all have it. And yeah.

And that's the thing is that we're human. We all have insecurities, especially in this world, especially with our social media. Are you kidding me? If you don't have any insecurity of any sort. Yeah. Then like you're either lying to yourself or you're some type of superhero. Seriously, I'm going to go with the farmer. I think it's normal.

I think it's literally a part of the human complex to have some sort of insecurity. And it'll make you act in a way that's like not, like if it gets out of hand, then sometimes it'll make you act in a way that's not genuinely true to yourself, which is why we hear situations like this where it's like, that's just ridiculous. Yeah. You know, like what this girl is saying, the pizza comment. Crazy. But it's stemming from such a dark place, which is where if we can kind of have

compassion and hopefully let these people open up, like maybe eventually this girl will talk about it and be like, that was fucked up of me. I shouldn't have done that. It was because I'm like hurting so bad. I'm in such a dark place. I just want this guy to like me so badly. And I like can't get my head straight. Yeah.

And I'm sure that's the case. That sounds, sounds pretty on the money. And I think just too, like for everyone out there, if someone doesn't like you because you don't like something or if you're not as into something, like that's just not your person. Like you shouldn't have to put others down or fake interests or whatever to get someone to like you or be a part of something. Like that's not it.

Like you'll find your people and that's not it. And if you are genuinely interested in something and love something and are passionate about it, and it's maybe not a traditionally feminine thing, or even if it is a feminine thing and like you like it or whatever it is, like, like what you like, be real, be you. And if someone's going to come for you for it, tell them to fuck themselves. And they're a hater and fuck themselves right off. Isn't that what you said?

Fuck right off with yourself. I don't even remember. We'll roll the tapes, roll the tapes, roll the tapes, but just like be you. Like life is too short to not be you and not be happy. I agree. Way too short. I agree. And also just be nice to people.

Like this whole like pick me thing. Like I think it's really great to acknowledge just kind of what's going on. But also don't get out of hand with it, you know, exactly. Like be nice to others. I've seen like certain things where it's just like people will call like a celebrity a pick me for wearing like a shirt. And it's like, let's like calm down a little bit. Let's just like be nice to others.

If it's not hurting you, just let it go. Yeah, that you could find that celebrity annoying as fuck. I know I'm there with some that Lauren likes. And I'm just like, I just got to block them. That I can't stand them. I don't block them. Some night that I like. Yeah.

Oh, I block the people that annoy you and let them live their lives because I like for me, though, more so like with celebrities, I'm like, I don't personally know them. And so like I try to just like give them the benefit of the doubt. Like I don't. Yeah. No, I just think I don't know them. I think cultural appropriation drives me bonkers.

Well, then it comes to certain celebrities. We won't go down that rabbit hole. We'll save it for another day. Are you talking about the Kardashians? I didn't say that. Okay. Tough combo. And if you do see someone being a pick me,

now you know why they're being a pick me. They're insecure. They're struggling themselves. Or maybe they're just a little off their rocker. But that's all I got for you guys on this episode of Two Hot Takes. Go ahead and fuck right out of here, guys. Fuck right off out of here. Just kidding.

Don't do that. Minnesota friends, keep August 18th on your calendar because we have officially booked Varsity Theater in Dinkytown for a live show. I'm fucking pumped. Morgan, come on. A double? What does there is a double? I'm so, so excited.

I used to live right behind that place and would hear concerts and hear things. The fact that we're going to have a show there. Wild. Unreal. Absolutely unreal. And I'm so excited. And I can't wait to meet you guys.

That can come. I know. We love you guys. We don't want you guys to fuck right off. No, no, no. But until next time. Until next time. Bye, guys.

Bye. Hi, Jan from Toyota speaking. Jan, I heard it's a good time to buy a Toyota. Sure is. From now until April 4th, you can shop all your favorites like Corolla, RAV4, Sequoia and more. Imagine yourself in a new tundra where you stopped by the home improvement store

and finally built that tree house you promised your daughter. Sarah, when did you hop on the call? Hi, dad. Mom said you were taking too long on the phone. Toyota, let's go places. See your participating Toyota dealer for details. Dealer inventory may vary. When you download the Smits app,

you have easy access to savings every day. Shop weekly sales and get personalized coupons to get the most value out of every trip, every time, whether you shop in-store or online. Download the Smits app now to save big. Smits, fresh for everyone. Let's have a digital account to redeem offers. Restrictions may apply.

See site for details. Save big on your favorites with the buy five or more save a dollar each sale. Simply buy five or more participating items and save a dollar each with your card. Smits, fresh for everyone.